guentzel
guentzel
congrats, baby
23K posts
kelsey, krisgeno truthercardinals baseball & penguins hockey team tierlisttag list
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guentzel · 48 minutes ago
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well that was embarrassing. quick question how do you make yourself explode
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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hate thinking 'oh wow this is a cool blog' and then going on it and its like FREAKS DONT INTERACT. like oh ok bestie ill just go shoot myself in the face
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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there's a jewish story about a rich man who goes to his rabbi to ask him about building an orphanage, and the rabbi is like "yeah duh go for it!!" and then later the rich guy comes back and is like "actually I've decided not to... I was just doing it for my own image and not coz I cared about orphans" and the rabbi was like "bitch the orphans don't care why you're building the orphanage!!!" and sometimes I wish I could say that to lefties who haven't unpacked their christian upbringing. sometimes motives don't matter!! who give a fuck why a politician wants to do a good thing? bitch the orphans don't!!
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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(guy who's lost so much and loses more every day) I never fucking lose
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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social media needs to add multiple tiers of blocking someone
I should be able to differentiate between "you seem perfectly nice but I do not enjoy seeing your posts," "you view the world through an ideological framework that I find flawed at best and repellent at worst," and, of course, "I Am Killing You With My Mind"
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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is this ship popular because it’s legitimately compelling or is it popular because it’s the easiest to decontextualize and write college roommate AUs about?
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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LOL 💀
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guentzel · 3 hours ago
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guentzel · 4 hours ago
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08.21.25
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guentzel · 4 hours ago
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This might be the hottest thing he’s ever done.
5.4.21 vs. Flyers
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guentzel · 6 hours ago
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suspend your disbelief etc etc and tell me what they’re sending it about in the tags
**also unless your player is literally winning sportsmanship awards they are sending some kind of hate lets be so serious
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guentzel · 22 hours ago
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It's a little surprising that the "Monday's child is fair of face" nursery rhyme never caught on as an arbitrary personality-assigner in the same way astrology did. It makes the same amount of sense.
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guentzel · 22 hours ago
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guentzel · 22 hours ago
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since apparently this is controversial, reblog with your country in the tags and whether or not you think noodles and pasta are the same thing
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guentzel · 23 hours ago
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If someone tells you they are Christian, do you ask them to specify what kind? Like Roman Catholic, Baptist, Protestant, Methodist, and so on.
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guentzel · 24 hours ago
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finding an error in someone else's fic: awe. we are all human - this is totally understandable and doesn't bother me whatsoever. it is almost endearing to know that others are not perfect, and in their excitement to share, they made a small mistake.
finding an error in your own fic: a merciful death is too kind for me. i deserve to be burnt on a pyre or publicly executed at dawn
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guentzel · 24 hours ago
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reading the wiki for the american psycho movie every single thing it’s saying about christian bale has me in tears …….. he literally wanted the role so bad he got that buff in two weeks, rejected every other offer for 9 months while the producers tried to get dicaprio to be patrick bateman bc bale knew dicaprio would chicken out, went to dinner with the director and the guy who wrote the novel IN CHARACTER apparently scaring the shit out of the novelist, took the role for $50k, and then made all his costars think he was a giant freak bc he never fucking broke character, and APARENTLY LITERALLY HAS CONTROL OVER HIS SWEAT GLANDS AND USED THIS IN THE BUSINESS CARD SCENE
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