#im working on a cosplay for him and i need to save up money for those boots

[loveislove-so-kissacomputer]

these in an allied mastercomputer cosplay

[joestarfucker420]

Dad: I’m mad that you don’t have enough money for college

Shit dog me too do you wanna maybe help out then instead of yelling at me over the phone?

[yostresswritinggirl]

@butterfly-mochi​ Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] (American) College!AU Demon Brothers

Scenario: Headcanons on the demon brothers as college students (specifically in the US because I don’t know how college works elsewhere), their possible majors, career goals, extracurriculars, ~GPA~ and whatever else I could think of + how meet you in college

Note: I’m hoping to do a Part 2 with the Undateables but honestly… we’ll see lol. This is based off something ~A~ and I thought of for our specific university but we’ve made it broad enough to share HAHA this turned out VERY long

- 

Lucifer

Majoring in Political Sciences with a minor in Psychology

Pre-Law-- most likely immigration law or child custody (there’s definitely a backstory here)

Initially went to community college for the first two years to save up money to take care of his younger siblings

Rejected an offer to go to an Ivy League because it was too expensive; if his siblings ever found out they’d be furious that he’d give up on that chance, but he knows he can succeed wherever he goes (and besides, family is first) 

Transferred into a 4-year university his junior year 

Very high GPA-- VERY

In a professional fraternity with Diavolo and Barbatos 

He didn’t think he’d join one either but Diavolo was the vice chair when he transferred in and the president the year after so… ~nepotism?~ and also Lucifer is charming as heck so no surprise he’d get in

Also rooms with Diavolo and Barbatos

Goes to the gym regularly just to keep fit; gets goaded by Diavolo and Satan into joining an IM team with his frat brothers and actual brothers-- probably basketball or flag football

Probably meets you at a interclub council meeting and mutters under his breath how useless the board members are and you overhear 

“Never have I met more incompetent people.”

“Lmao mood”

“!!!”

Keeps sitting next to you at every interclub meeting then after because at least there’s someone that can keep his mind stimulated (thinks you’re hot if you’re competent btw)

If you somehow meet him on campus, he’s the type of guy to put his hand up and pretend he didn’t see you (just kidding, he always ends up saying hi anyways) 

Will Absolutely Lecture You if you are procrastinating on studying especially if your midterm is, like, TOMORROW

Always ends up studying with him because he’s actually focused on studying and glares at you if you get distracted (but hey you get good scores in the end)

Mammon

Majoring in Business Econ/Economics, Minoring in Statistics

(always ends up in the middle of the “is econ a humanities or a STEM major” debate that leaves him left for dead) 

Planning to work in Business as Finance -- probably has been treasurer or finance director for a club; can even see him being a banker if it suits his plans better

Goes to a four-year university

Decent GPA (or Lucifer would absolutely destroy him), and does REALLY well in mathematics classes

Would room with Lucifer and his posse if they all go to the same school 

Probably in a Business Frat as well because he’s pretty charismatic when it comes down to it but  was an RA for some of his years for the free rooming and dining hall privileges 

Is a very chill and understanding RA (as in he smokes weed with you when he’s off-duty) but is surprisingly well-versed in dealing with roommate issues

Works part-time (gasp) to buy stuff off of Amazon and go out to places 

Spends a lot of time exploring places with his friends, going hiking, rock-climbing, clubbing-- which is expensive, as it turns out, so he needed to be able to afford it somehow

Meets you when you’re eating your lunch outside somewhere and he asks you if you have a dollar he could borrow for a vending machine snack

You exchange numbers with him so he can pay it back (even though you honestly don’t really need it, but why not) and turns out he’s in your GE class

“Heyyy wassup! So glad I have a friend in this class” 

“Oh by the way, did you finish the homework? Haha, I forgot it.” 

Mammon always repays you for your help in food though so you aren’t complaining

Leviathan

Majoring in Computer Sciences

And honestly that’s too much for me already-- the man is doing computer programming, coding-- WHEW-- and they do NOT rest

Goes to a community college but honestly has no problems cinching internships. The computer is his domain-- online applications are EASY, doing projects NOT as easy, interviews? HARD-- REALLY HARD (someone help him)

Probably intends to work with a big company like Google if only to help supply his income so he can live his life going to AX and buying merch 

Most likely moved out of his house mid-college with his online friends (who are luckily compatible with him living-space wise) and visits home once a week 

There’s two potential sides you can meet first: 

Either you meet him at a convention and you both gush about the same character and anime and somehow find each other online (not college related) 

Or his favorite Ruri-chan keychain gets broken off in the computer lab, and you’re the one running after him to give it him

He may or may not owe you his life after that (and if you enjoy anime, well that’s a bonus)

Both of these meetings can happen if he doesn’t recognize you in class because you were in cosplay-- imagine the surprise

The two of you as friends are MASTER PROCRASTINATORS at every assignment the two of you have-- so low-key not a great influence-- but you have fun together watching animes, playing games, talking about life-- anything but actual work 

Always ends up scrambling to finish things-- but he keeps doing it because it’s been working for him so far

You help him prepare for interviews because he’s always nervous before each one regardless of how well his application looks

Satan

Majoring in Comparative Literature AND Anthropology (ya boy is doing the whole nine yards)

Planning to get his Master’s and then a PhD in one of his majors (whichever proves to be more engaging for him)-- visibly excited to become a Professor

College was meant for Satan-- like REALLY; the man is in LOVE with learning; most likely to go and be accepted to an Ivy-League after Lucifer but... truly believes you can get a good education anywhere so it depends on his financial standing (and how much scholarship he gets)

Does get a little disgruntled when his classes aren’t available but doesn’t mind learning something new-- if the professor bores him to death, he’ll read the book

Really good at tutoring people; someone suggests that he works as a peer-learning facilitator/writing tutor and he does-- might as well make bank doing something you always do anyways   

Joins a writing/journal club as an extracurricular and a club that provides tutoring services to the underserved community-- surprisingly good with kids!

He knows friends in high places, so if he wanted to, could get into any party without batting an eye and his favorite professors love him

Spends a lot of his time going out to the city and exploring places, similarly to Mammon, rock-climbing, hiking, paragliding-- anything

He is VERY well-rounded as you can see; competes with Lucifer to see whose GPA is better though

You probably meet him during office hours, and you can only stare in awe as he asks questions that you had in mind, but better; if you’re visibly confused about something, he’ll take his time to help you too (it’s habit at this point)

Ask him for his contact info and you’ll get it, and maybe repay him in coffee? (You always see him at the cafe on campus.) 

Most likely to have a specific spot in a cafe that he is always at that the workers actually save a spot for him or give him his usual order before he even arrives-- may or may not have helped them edit their essays or with their homework as a thank-you so you KNOW they’ll love him forever

The type of person to help you make flashcards and cram if you need it

Asmodeus

Majoring in Dance and Fine Arts (I HC going to NYU specifically)

Considering going for an Master of Fine Arts degree but he might just move to New York and go for being a Broadway Star

College is mainly just training for him and hoping to land gigs in local theater-- and the university theater if there is one-- and building his resume for his big break 

Has SO many extracurriculars, all pertaining to his career choice, but also because he enjoys what he does: drama, competitive dance team, acapella, fashion design

Makes an unbelievable amount of friends, incredibly good at networking

The first time you saw him was when he was performing for a local theater and you were in love with his performance, and the next time you saw him in the hallway of a classroom building, you told him how much you enjoyed it

Always accepts compliments about his looks with grace, but there’s something about truly being admired for his acting and singing that has him preening

Invites you to come out to his next performance, and if not his, then to another play-- and it can be a date, but up to you ;) 

The man is the KING of Multiple Talents and has big dreams to match 

Always finds a way to hang out with you and drag you to every club that he can use his fake-id for (and when he’s actually 21 and above, gets a little offended that he doesn’t get ID’d) 

A night in the town with you is always a good night! 

Sometimes when he has practical exams coming up, he asks you to watch him perform-- and he likes your compliments but actually takes getting all the moves seriously so you better pay attention!

Most likely to move far away to reach his dreams, but he would take you with him if he could-- his little star

Beelzebub

Majoring in Physiological Sciences

Pre-Nursing or Pre-Sports Medicine 

He’s a little undecided, but he’s definitely going to go into the health field because he likes the idea of being able to use his strength to help others

Gets a scholarship from the university because he’s part of the football team, which is actually pretty hard on him because Fall Semester/Quarter he has to keep skipping classes for games  

Always brings a snack to eat with him during lecture-- and is not afraid to bring his entire lunch and make it right in the front row, though he tends to stick to the back because they tend to have electrical plugs 

You most likely meet him during lecture: he offers you an entire sandwich (not a chip bag, not fruit snacks, an entire LUNCH) because he heard your stomach growl during class 

From then on, you collect notes for him when he’s gone from games and even go to games if you aren’t usually the type to just to see how he’s doing; it’s hard trying to find you among the huge bleachers, but he always asks you where you’re sitting anyways 

Really appreciate it if you help him study into late at night because it IS hard balancing sports and academics 

He most likely doesn’t really have any time for anything else so he usually makes up for it during the rest of the year when training is less to volunteer in the hospital or at the gym as a personal trainer 

If you ask him to teach you how to properly lift weights, he’ll definitely help out and the both of you can work out together-- though you feel bad when he has to add four extra weights to each side after you finish your reps

Belphegor

Majoring in Computer Graphics/Animation

Intending to go into making animation or game design-- is one of the brothers who doesn’t really know exactly what he wants to do yet because he’s afraid that doing what he loves as a job will ruin it for him

His family reassures him that they’ll support him whether or not he continues with his path in life, but he’s considering art school and then taking internships in places so he has a better idea on what he wants

Most likely to sell his own original work and become a full-time artist regardless

I think you already know how you meet him-- he’s sleeping in a lecture hall-- either against the wall or on the small piece of wood they call a desk when class ends and he’s still sleeping; and you wake him up 

Sleepily thanks you and continues to sleep through every class that you wake him up to; when you ask him why he doesn’t just go home and sleep, he tells you he’s too lazy to walk back and forth from his dorm/apartment to campus (mood) 

When you add each other on Snapchat or something, he sends you pics of ‘places to nap’ on campus

You always end up studying together because he’s actually pretty good at understanding lecture stuff despite not being awake for most of it-- apparently he’s used to teaching himself 

Will make you art for your birthday and will vehemently refuse payment so he just tells you to take him out for dinner instead 

If you talk about how you’re not sure on what you want to do in life too, he’ll probably say ‘mood’ but is most likely to encourage you to do whatever you want to do in life too 

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[captaincrunchcosplay]

With Homestuck2 coming back will you be returning to Youtube and the cosplay community?

Tbh I learned about the existence of homestuck2 from your and someone else's ask haha I'm so out of the loop. I just read into it on it's about page and tbh the title/concept 'beyond canon' is exactly what Im not interested in sadly :c I wouldn't be opposed to reading it if I got to it but I have to say as soon as the presence of other artists were noticable (at the end of the original comic) I wasn't too much of a fan. I loved the time when it was all hussies work and when the art style was coherent even when it wasn't all necessarily drawn by him. Idk with paradox space, the friendsim etc the 'canonical' hs got watered down so much it felt like I was just reading fanficiton you know what I mean. It's not a bad thing, I'm glad people get more content and the artists can show their work, it's just not what feels 'real' to me anymore. I mean at least hs2 is now in good ol comic form again which is neat so I do like that but idk. I might read into it, it's just not a priority rn. And speaking of youtube. I haven't talked about the issues I'm currently having anywhere, not even on instagram but without going into too much detail, my now ex boyfriend dubsy ( Who was in my videos a lot) owes me a lot of money, refuses any contact and won't give it back to me. I'm currently saving and working a lot to earn money for a move and travelling so the missing amount of money kinda hurts me. I don't feel the motivaton to spend any extra money on cosplay rn bc I need every penny I make. And I can't spend time to make videos bc I'm working so much. I wish it wouldn't have come down to this bc it's embarassing to me but I guess that's the official answer to why I have been absent for such a long time. So I guess you understand why youtube is no more fun for me rn bc I have to concern myself with the whole thing and it just puts me in a very bad mood. But in case you're wondering I'm leaving the videos with him up bc I know you guys enjoy them so much. I want them to be good memories for you.

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 16 of 21

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Daring Do

and the Adventure of the X'ibian Vase!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

And

Carmen Pondiego

Cover Art by

Doctor Dimension

52630 words

© 2015 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 08/26/15

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

The dromedaries of Sang He’s herd were amazed at Jeremy’s ability to keep up by maintaining a steady canter to their walking.  They shifted the walking order to put the double colloquium at the center, where they could all hear. Most of what Sehang Shu was telling and responding to was material that was interesting but pretty well known to them.

What Jeremy was explaining about small unit military operations was both new and fascinating.  Sehang Shu spoke for them all as she offered, “So that is how to advance against a superior force?  I would not have expected that we would have any option but retreat.”

Nodding, Jeremy cantered alongside his friend and pointed out, “Retreat makes perfect sense sometimes.  When you must, do not simply flee.  A well done retreat in force makes it too costly for the enemy to follow.  Another option often overlooked in active situations is harassment.  That goes far beyond simply being irritating if properly done.”

The whole group nodded understanding.

The questions came thick and fast as they continued on toward Hong Wa.  It was time for noon rice all too soon, as Jeremy counted it.

While they gathered about the stove, fixing the meal, Soree said softly, “You are an excellent teacher, Jeremy.  The horses of Saddle Arabia could use your knowledge and skills.”

Daring Do acknowledged, “It is easy to see how you could be deserving of a Hurricane Fellowship, Jeremy.  I have to say, though, that I am glad that you chose Antiquities instead.”

Sehang Shu nodded, “In only a few hours, I have learned more of these matters than in my whole life before this.  I have lived in these deserts and faced these situations many times.”  She shuddered a little, emotion getting the better of her as she went on, “I have lost too many friends to the ignorance of what you spoke of so clearly this morning.

“Jeremy, why are you crying?”

He looked up from his rice, vegetables and tea.  “I am not used to this, Shu.  My family never treated me with much respect at all.  My older brother and sister both went to the Equestrian Military Academy.  The family was proud of them, even if they did not qualify for the College.

“When I did, they tried to drive me unmercifully to be the best.  No respect, though.  Always called me dummy or stupid if I made any mistake at all.  Never said anything of praise when I was right because if I was going to E.M. College, being right was expected.  I hated it.”

To his surprise, Sehang Shu gave him a hug.  “These are not bad tears, Jeremy.  Let them out.  Let the old venom flow out with them.  We here, not only respect you, we are in your debit.  You have saved lives yesterday and likely more this morning.  Ignorance is the deadliest of enemies.”

Daring Do watched in thoughtful silence and then offered, “Jeremy, continue your colloquium of Ethnological Geography.  I have been auditing your progress.  If you continue to learn as well as what I have been hearing, I will correct your grade when we return to the Royal University.”

The party continued to work their way through the vast X'ibian Highlands toward the ancient and long abandoned Imperial Capital city of Hong Wa.

Cresting a low pass in a sharp sided defile of stone, they got their first view of their goal. Jeremy took one look and dived for cover.  Without waiting to ask why, the whole party went for shelter.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Some days previous, in Cantrot, the partners examined what their 385 gold cash had bought in the way of repairs.

Robber philosophically observed, “At least both trucks are now fully operational and all systems required by law are working correctly.”

Tyranny snarled, “Why didn’t they fix that door?”

Overthrow retorted, “You know why!  Besides insulting the Shop Master, you got it hit by a water buffalo!  They had no parts that would fit!  At least it is secure and weather tight!”

“Drat it, Overthrow, all that I did was bribe the Shop Master to put our trucks ahead of those other vehicles!  Mere farm working things!”

Robber shook his head sadly, “That is not how bribes here work, Tyranny.  I have explained that to you before.  They are to the person as a recognition of his importance to you.  They are NEVER to get your work or things put ahead of other work.  We had already taken care of the problem and had only to wait our turn until you breached all social etiquette here by trying to get him to rearrange his shop schedules for us.”

Overthrow, trying to get a developing argument derailed, inquired with real interest, “How are the ancient X'ibian translations going, Tyranny?”

Frustrated, he snapped, “I can find NOTHING about the Heart of Discord, no matter how old the manuscript!  I have found some that date to the reign of Im Farst and the Dragon Queen, but NOTHING about the Heart of Discord!

“We have OLDER references to it in Old Middle Equestrian from shortly after the Nightmare Wars than any from here!”

While mulling that over, they got into the trucks.  Overthrow grunted sourly, “I wish that our drivers had not abandoned us.  At least the desert should not offer much difficulty to our travel!”

Robber, mounting the driver’s seat of his truck, replied, “All that we need is to take the cross river barge and we will be headed to Hong Wa.”  

He shoved Tyranny into the back of the cab.  “Just stay there and let us deal with the barge. The last thing that we need is you sticking a hoof up the rump of our passage!”

Sullen, Tyranny settled back and busied himself pretending to study old manuscripts.

Cantrot was covered by the dust raised by the trucks heading out into the desert.  Tyranny watched from the passenger seat of the lead truck as they came to the end of the road that they had been following.

“I thought that you said that this was the way to Hong Wa, Robber!  This is the end of the road.  Where is Hong Wa?”

Robber shrugged, his frustration with Tyranny utterly expressive of total contempt. “Sometimes I wonder if you listen to anything but your own voice, Tyranny.

“I said that this road will take us closest to Hong Wa!  From here on, we will be driving across the desert.  I do have good maps.”

Robber got out and began to scout the best way for the trucks to leave the road’s end.

Overthrow joined him. “Tyranny has gone completely mad, Overthrow.  He seems to think that there is a regular road going to a city abandoned a thousand years ago.  After I got it into his head that there was no road, he spouted garbage about just driving across the desert at night, steering by the stars!  He seems to think that the desert is FLAT!”

Overthrow nodded glumly. “Last meal break he told me to be watching out for the dust of Daring Do’s expedition.  I tried to tell him that they are taking an ancient dromedary route, completely different from ours.  

“I tried to cash a credit letter in Cantrot before we left.  It was refused.  The firm’s capital is gone.  If this plan does not work, we do not have enough money to get home.”

Robber stopped, stunned. “Broke?  What has happened to it?”

Overthrow aimed a hoof at the truck with Tyranny in it.  “He  did.  Those new manuscripts that he has been studying?  Over two million golden bits by themselves.  Add in our expedition costs, which are simply enormous, and there is not enough capital left to even pay the staff at home.”

Robber accepted the news glumly.  “Look, a vulture circling up there!  Not an omen, I hope!”

Both chuckled at the feeble jest.  After locating the best way to get the trucks off the road, they returned to the vehicles and backed down the road to the chosen spot.  They bumped and bounced across the margin and set out, following landmarks shown on Robber’s map.

Tyranny was fretting, “We are going too slow!  We need to be swift!  We must get there first!”

Robber, as they hit a big bump, slamming Tyranny’s head to the ceiling, replied offhandedly, “Why?  If Daring Do gets there first, we let her find the tomb and do the heavy digging for us.

“If we get there first, we can still use HER and her cohorts to do the digging for us.  That tomb is not in any of the fourteen necropoli shown in the site map. Only she knows where it is, so we will let her find it for us.”

He waited, grinning that Tyranny had not fastened his safety harness, and deliberately hit another series of bumps, jouncing Tyranny about like a dried pea in a can.  “Are you sure that we need to go faster?  We are already making over four times the best walking pace of a dromedary.  We are nearly certain to be there first, ready and waiting for Daring Do’s expedition to show itself.”

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Jeremy signaled for them all to keep their heads down and retreat back into the pass.  When they were all safely back, he recovered his hooves and led them further back yet.  Satisfied, he told them all, “Wait here until I get back.”

He rummaged a pair of binoculars out of his saddle bag and sneaked back, going from cover to cover.  Watching him go, Soree made a few swift sketches and many notes.  

She observed, “I think that Jeremy believes that somepony is there before us.”

Daring Do nodded and offered, “Any bets about WHO it might be?”  Silence greeted her offer.  “I thought not.”

Jeremy returned silently. “ROT got here first, with two trucks.  There seem to only be three of them, all Equestrians by the look of them.  Our problem is simple.

“They have a pair of obsolete MT81 quick fire guns and what appears to be two ammo cases for them.

“Those guns nearly caused the overthrow the Empress of the Gryphon Empire back during their Civil War, years ago.  Luckily for us, Doctor Do gave you those new semi automatic rifles.  The 81s still have the range on us and may have either solid or explosive rounds.

“Doctor Do, how accurate is your map of this area?”

“Perhaps main features could be off by as much as two meters.  Nothing worse.  Is it good enough?”

Jeremy nodded and gestured them close to study the map, remarking, “A good map is more deadly than a cannon.

“See this tongue of rock going down into the valley of Hong Wa?  If we can get behind it, they will not see our advance if we are careful.  From here on, we will be in rifle range of the guns.  Do not worry about the ponies.  We need to stop those guns.  Out in the open like that, their ammo cases are a weakness.”

Corba Jai suggested, “I have been from this pass to the blind canyon the leads to that ridge of stone. I scouted it for Doctor Do during the search for cave burials.”

Jeremy nodded acceptance at once.  “That is good, Corba Jai.  Would you please guide us all through to it?”

Nodding silently, Corba Jai led them further back up the defile.  She pointed to a steep but climbable slope.  “We need to go up here.  Bear to the right of that rock needle.  Getting down into the canyon will not be easy either but we can do it.”

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  

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[hypmicscenarios]

Anime Attraction

3.K words

A/N: High School au. Fic with ichiro, you two slowly falling in love over the span of a 4 day convention and bonding over the fact that you’re closeted weebs. (So he would like tdd era ichiro) And again! I use neutral pronouns! hope you enjoy~

Day 1: You were very excited, happy, elated, every happy word in the book! This year, you were finally going to your first anime convention. Unfortunately, you were a bit of a closeted weeb. People knew you watched anime….just not your extreme obssession with it. Maybe extreme was too harsh for you case, but you were sure that would be the situation if they ever saw your room, filled with anime posters, merch, etc.However, those were all bought online or in stores….youve never actually been to a convention.

Online, you heard many good things about it, and that people there, for the most part, were friendly. You smiled as you got off the train, an empty backpack on your bag, besides essentials, inside an empty tote bag for you posters. You had planned for this for months. Saving up all the money you could from your allowances. Your wallet, besides money for the train and food to eat, was going to be completely emptied by the end of the day. Finally, you took your jacket off, revealing a ( favorite anime) anime shirt on your person. One of your favorites. You could never choose. You could talk about it for days. However….it was Under rated. It was also a bit old...and you were late to watch it, so the fandom dwindled down.

You were amazed as you saw many cosplays, a bit too nervous to ask for pictures, or even compliment them, but you hoped they received your compliments in spirit….something like that. It was….also really big and crowded. You got too into your head, overthinking a bunch of things, that you didn’t see the larger man in front of you, hitting his back.

“O-oh im sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said, bowing quickly. You looked up at the man, gulping, quickly taken aback by how pretty he was, different colored eyes, red and green. It almost seemed like he was in cosplay, but he was just wearing a naruto shirt with black jeans on, a naruto headband around his forehead.

Ichiro blinked and smiled,”no need to apologize, I was kind of standing here in the middle of everyone anyway,”his eyes went down to your shirt and his eyes sparkled,”wait….thats a (favorite anime) isnt it! Whose your favorite character?”, he asked. You were taken aback about how eager and happy he seemed, but it definitely managed to make you relax a bit.

“My favorite character is [     ],”you said, stating your reasoning,”oh- sorry….I didn’t mean to talk that long,” Ichiro chuckled,”thats fine, I love them too! For mostly the same reasons, theyre kind of cool. This is my first convention so Im excited its going off to great start, thanks.”

Oh? It was his first time as well? “Its my first time too, I came here alone, I didn’t expect to be this big, theres so many people.” Ichiro nodded,”Im here by myself too, are you here all four days?” You nodded. “If you dont mind it, we can walk around together, ah! Sorry if thats a bit too forward….”,he trailed off. To be honest, Ichiro was a closeted weeb. So he had no one to talk to, let alone drag to a con. “Oh no, Um, its fine. I would like that...even though I know everyone here loves anime….”,you trailed off, the guy, whose name you still didn’t know, finished your thought,”because theres so many people conversing and being you feel like everyone already has their own cliques and you realize youre alone.”

Well. That. Yes that. You smiled,”Yeah, its that, and my nerves and anxiety.”

Ichiro stuck his hand out,”Yamada Ichiro, 2nd year high school student in Ikebukuro. Nice to meet you.”

“ l/n, f/n, also 2nd year in a high school located in yokohama, nice to meet you”m you said and shook his hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Day 2:

The first day, the two of you had walked around, played games, went to panels together, learning much more about each other. You agreed to meetup at the same place in the morning. Of course, you were even more excited than you were yesterday. You were dressed in more casual clothing, but backpack was now decorated with buttons you found. Soon, you heard your name being called out and waved your hand,”Good Morning Yamada-san”, you said, greeting him.

Ichiro smiled and spoke,”Morning! Did you sleep well?”, he asked.  You shook your head in disagreement,”I barely got any sleep, I was excited for today.” Ichiro laughed,”so did I, so what should we do today?”,he said, taking out the convention program guide. “Hmmmm, theres a bunch of panels,”you said, going to the side of him and looking at the program,”how to successfully master naruto hand signs….”,you trailed off. They really….had a panel for everything.

Ichiro’s face lit up,” that sounds cool, want to go? Although I already know a couple…”,he said, and you laughed,”what? You going to become the next hokage Yamada-san?”, you teased a bit, but he went along with it, of course he did. You found out about this from yesterday. That he was like this. “I am gonna be next hokage, just believe it!”, he said.

“Thats naruto’s punchline you cant just steal it,” you said, watching Ichiro as he thought, then spoke again, very excitedly,”Im going to be next hokage, because I said so!”, he said, putting out a thumb. For some reason, it had you laughing a lot,”b-bbecause you said so? Ahahaha, well, you sure have a passion like naruto, I think thats all you need, its cute”, you said, realizing that you had just called the other cute.

Ichiro blushed and put his hand behind his back,”Sorry...I just cant be like this a lot in real life without getting teased for it, so its a bit refreshing,”he said and you nodded,, understanding completely.

“Well, lets go learn some jutstus even though they wont help against a gun but who cares, because its an anime convention, and we’re doing what we love,”you said confidently, more confident than you would expect from yourself.  Ichiro nodded,”Dattebayo, lets go!”, he saidm turning around and walking. You were really having too much fun. Being attracted to him went way over your head for now, simply enjoying the time the two of you spent together.

Later on in the day, the two of you found an anime photo booth, Ichiro dragging you by the arm towards it,”for memories!”, he said. The two of you got in and hit the naruto theme poses. Of course, you indulged him, he was cute when he got his way. And, you didn’t have to worry about poses. Instead, they gave you poses to do.

The first was a naruto sign for any jutsu, the second peace signs, the third you had to stick your tongues at each other, seeming annoyed, and the last one….got you. It was only a hug, but they way Ichiro hugged you quickly and tightly, pushing both of your faces together, eft you shocked, and you were sure the picture didn’t turn out well. Once you got out and looked at it, Ichiro pointed to last one,”its like you were trying so hard not to blink, but we’re cute, arent we?”,he said and you laughed:yea we really are”, you replied, more focused on the current pace of your heart...beating very rapidly. You paid for two copies so you could keep it. The rest of the day, you two kept up your shenanigans. It was tough leaving, but you were going to come back tomorrow and, hopefully, your heart would learn to behave.

Day 3:

The two of you sat down to eat lunch on the third day, already having gone through a couple activities.

“Theres Jiro, then theres Saburo, and Saburo is the oldest. We’re all pretty close but Saburo and Jiro always fight a lot, typical sibling stuff…..and a lot of the times it includes me. I keep telling them I dont have favorites but they never listen,”Ichiro sighed with a smile on his face. It wasn’t an exhausted sigh though, he was used to it, it was just how they worked.

You smiled as he rambled on about his brothers. It was very clear that he cherished the both of them dearly and would do anything for them. “That must be nice….Im an only child so I could never relate to these type of things. Thats why I got into anime really, theres was no one that I could play with at the snap of a finger if I wanted to-oh Im not sad about it or anything, I love anime, it was really there for me in trying times, plus the internet.”

Ichiro nodded and then spoke,”Well, you have me now too, and you can be as passionate as you want, no holding back. You have my number now and its already fun texting you when we’re not at the convention.”  He was right. After you guys left, you were quickly texting each other at home before you went to sleep. You sent each other memes,pictures, and talked about a bunch of different topics, that often you had smiling or laughing at your phone.

At that point….you knew had a crush. It was only two days but he was just so…..it was the little things really, not just the fact that you had anime in common. When you were walking through the convention center, going through a massive crowd, he told you to hold onto his jacket, so you wouldn’t get lost. Or how he quickly offered to help hold your stuff when you were buying merchandise. Or even him talking about how much he loves his brothers. Rather than weird, it was insanely cute to you.

It wasnt love per say…..well. Lets be real. You were a sucker when it came to love. Honestly, you dont even feel like counting how many crushes you had but none of those ever came to fruition.  You should just focus on your anime boys but the moment some other boy is even the slightest bit kind to you, like helping you carry books, your heart falls. Despite that though, you felt like this was different. More than just a couple simple acts of kindness.

“Im really enjoying our time here, we’re going to the cosplay masquerade today right? We still have some time to kill, want to go to the game hall?”, you asked,”then we can see which one of us is better at dance dance revolution.” Ichiro smiled and nodded his head,”Yeah! Youre on!”

After that, the two of you managed to spend all of your time in the hall. Ichiro was by a claw machine and you commented,”I suck at these things,”then looked inside, seeing what plushies they had. “I think im pretty decent,”Ichiro said, walking up,”sometimes I won stuff for saburo when I was little...he grew out of it though,”Ichiro said with a laugh.He wanted to try it.

“Good Luck Yamada-kun!”, you said, cheering him on. You were amazed by how focused he looked. “Do you want anything specific?”,he asked you. “Wait, me?”, you said, trying to clarify. Ichiro laughed,”I think you’re the only l/n here,”he said. That...kind of caught you off guard. But you walked up and placed your hands against the glass. “Ummmm, that cat in the middle is kind of cute.”

Ichiro nodded. The first time, he managed to pick the plushie up for about three seconds before it fell, but that was better than what you could do! The second time, he managed to grab it again, your eyes wide in anticipation as you followed the claw and plushie to the drop off slot. “Oh my god, you did it!”,you said, going to high five both of Ichiro’s hands but, instead of letting go, he held them and put them down,”Yeah I did! Guess I didn’t lose my skill after all.” “Yeah...youre amazing”, you said, trying to not comment on the fact that he was still holding both of your hands. God….your heart was a mess. There was no denying you fell for him. At most, it was very high like at this point.

Day 4:

Ichiro was excited to see you again. Well, half-excited and half-sad. He really liked hanging out with you. More often than not, he found himself thinking about how you look best when theres a smile on your face. So, he always did dumb things to make you smile, no matter how stupid it may have looked. Maybe it was because you didn’t think his obsession was weird. When you guys talked, your interests lined up more than he thought they would. It was perfect.

Of course, he eventually figured out that he’d want to see you, in a more romantic context, that it is. He knew his feelings towards you were different. Honestly, he even weirdly got a little bit jealous when you mentioned how hot a specific anime character was. Ichiro didn’t necessarily plan on confessing that day….but who knows how things would turn out. Yes, it had only been three days, but he felt like he knew you already. Really, you guys always messaged each other.

The conversations would go dull for an hour or so but one link to a meme and that sparked a conversation that continued for a while. It was great. He had never felt so validated.

“L/n-san! Hey, morning!”,he said as he walked up to you. You looked like you were thinking hard about something, but Ichiro didn’t comment on it.

In fact, you were. Thinking about how you wouldn’t be able to see him so frequently. It made you….sadder than you expected. Granted you could travel to see him, but it was also due to the fact that it was the last day of the convention. Here, you could be yourselves without glancing over you shoulder every couple seconds in fear that someone you knew would spot you.  It was so much fun, especially because of him!

Its for the best though….your funds were just about dried out. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him though,”hey, good morning to you too, ready for the last day?” Ichiro laughed,”Yes and No because this has been very exciting.” You nodded in agreement,”it has, it does suck that we cant experience this everyday.”

“well!”,Ichiro clapped his hands,”lets not worry about that and focus on having fun, okay?” Your smile got wider,”yes, okay!” Ichiro spoke,”Datteba-”, then he pointed towards you,”Yo!”, you said, the two of you giggling. This had become your thing now, apparently, but you two werent used to it, hence you laughing off you embarrassment.

You went to the artist alley and exhibit hall one last time, taking a lot more pictures together than usual, even with cosplayers! Ichiro helped you out a lo with expressing that you wanted pictures with them and that was yet another thing that you loved about him. Without even asking him to do so, he just did it on a whim, and that made you incredibly happy.

A bit later, it was closing ceremonies. It wasnt much really, but anything to just spend even a little more time with Ichiro. However, that ended sooner than you expected. And you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

The two of you sat outside on a bench.

“So, I suppose this is it…”,you said. You had to get back early today anyway. Yet, you really didn’t want to. You looked up as Ichiro spoke,”no, its not it. We still have each other’s numbers, we can make it work, I-well….these past few days have been really fun for me,”Ichiro blushed, placing his hand behind his neck. Was he going to confess? If he didn’t do it now he knew he’d procrastinate on doing so forever. He didn’t necessarily have to make sure you were his in this exact moment, but his heart wanted an answer as soon as possible, before he got in too deep.

“The thing is….I want us to be more than just friends. I just….the more we talked, the more I found myself drawn to you. Like I can tell you anything. Its really easy to be myself around you, l/n, I want...to get closer. So, would you go out with me? Or not now, I mean you can think about it but...yeah.”,he said, face blushing. He had only confessed once in his lifetime and that was during elementary….he was quickly shut down.

You….couldn’t believe your ears. Did you really manage to find someone who was interested you at an anime convention. Well, you were sure there were more interesting stories but this was still way out of your league. You even thought he was way out of your league.

“I….we can date. I feel the same, about you, I like talking to you. And I think whats making me so sad is that I cant see you...not the convention part,”you said, looking towards Ichiro and seeing his grow excited. He grabbed your hands quickly and held them,”really?! Thats great.”,he said, letting go than hugging you. Oh. This was happening. It took you a couple seconds to process the hug before you reciprocated it.

Ichiro pulled away, looking down at you, a smile on his face,”when I talk with you, I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world. I know love is too strong of a word right now, but I want to do my best to make you happy.”

You were so flustered that you made no response, even more so when you felt his hand on your cheek and saw him leaning in. It all happened quickly. You closed your eyes and suddenly his lips were on yours. No movement, but it lingered for a moment, before he pulled away.

That was your first...kiss. You didn’t mind that it got taken by him but still….it was so much to process. Ichiro brought you back to reality,”Ikebukuro isn’t too far from Yokohama on the train, maybe we could meet in the middle on weekends, or switch up, ah, well I guess we can talk about this letter, getting ahead of myself,”he said and chuckled, which only prompted you to let out a soft laugh. He was like an eager puppy that you wanted to pet. Weird how he so easily calmed your nerves by the sounds of your laughs.

“Datteba-”

“Yo!”

[someguy1023]

Nobody’s gonna care about this, but maybe someone will

i think it’ll help convey why im so stuck on this, and why i seem to be focusing more on Holly and, according to messages i kept getting, “white knighting” for her. I’m not gonna justify Holly’s behavior. thats not what this is about. I just want this off my chest.

(im gonna regret this)

also, just to preemptively defend myself, i know how cheesy all this is gonna sound. But its the truth.

so. i guess i should preface this by explaining when I first heard about Holly. Maybe it’ll help this make sense in context. Maybe not. I don’t know but it doesnt hurt to try.

I didn’t actually learn about Holly through the internet like i assume most others did. I actually first found her through TV. More specifically, through that Heroes of Cosplay show SciFi has produced a few years back. I enjoyed it, but found myself mainly enjoying the work Holly and Jessica did while on the show. They were my favorite team, and I always tried to watch whenever they were in an episode. After a while though, I, like a lot of others apparently, got bored and moved on, and eventually forgot about Holly.

It was a few years later that I would find her again. This time, like many others, through Grumps. More specifically, through Ross and Steam Train. I was surprised when it turns out that one of my favorite members of GG was also married to one of my favorite people on HoC. Small world. I stayed a more casual fan, watching the occasional playthrough or crafting episode on her channel. I was more of a fan of GG and Ross, so I tended to watch more of his stuff than hers, but I still made sure to keep watching her stuff. It wasn’t anything major, she just made me smile.

A few years later, it meant something more to me.

In 2016, my father died. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a big deal for something like this. It was everything leading up to his death that was the problem. I always had a very “problematic” relationship with my father. He was abusive towards me when I was younger, lashing out at me for really minor problems. (for example, one time he had lifted me up in the air by my throat and began strangling me when I was ~6. Why? Because I had used some money our neighbor gave me for cleaning up his lawn to buy a popsicle from an ice cream truck, ate half of it, then put the other half in the fridge. He found it, got mad at me, and then began to yell at me. I had a nervous tic when I was younger where I giggled uncontrollably when I was scared. Sure enough, I began to giggle and could stop it, and then he, enraged, lifted me up. I realize years later he was probably drunk, considering he smelled really weird. It isnt a good memory.) He eventually left my mom and I when I was almost 7, moving down to Alabama with this lady he met in a bar, and proceeded to do pretty much every major drug imaginable. I didn’t see/hear from him again until a few years later at his mother’s funeral. He seemed remorseful for what he did to me, and a year or two later, moved in with his cousin back in the state I was living in at the time. I began visiting him when I was 13, and he seemed to be better. He apologized to me for what he did, he tried to be a good dad, and I believed him. That was my first mistake.

Flash forward to January 3rd, 2016. I was visiting him for the weekend after staying at my cousin’s, and was sorting through my things to make sure i didnt forget anything. We had visited one of his friends to get something he borrowed (according to him) then got back to his house. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I thought he fell asleep. I noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth he was going to light before he passed out, so I went over to put it aside. I figured out he wasn’t sleeping. It turns out, he was overdosing, and what I thought was snoring was his throat closed shut and the air escaping his lungs. He was dying. I told his wife (at the time) what what happening, she called 911, and I went upstairs to hide in my bedroom. A lil while later, the ambulance came by, and the paramedics gave him whatever that stuff is they give addicts who OD. (At the time, I didnt know what was going on. He had really bad lungs, and I thought they were shutting down or something. I was told it was from him overdosing later that night.) He woke up, and they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was okay. I went back to my moms house, and stayed there. That was the last time I saw him alive

As it turns out, my dad had been using me for over 2 or 3 years. He was not only stealing money from me under the pretense of helping him with driving for over an hour to pick up/drop me off from my moms place to visit, but had also been heavily manipulating me for years in order to control me. He had tried to turn me against my mother and her side of the family, claiming she had used me to verbally abuse and control him when they were married, telling me lies in order to keep me under his thumb. (like how she threatened to abort me if he didnt marry her after knocking her up, or how she had him steal from his sister during her wedding, etc.) I began to despise my mother, arguing with her constantly, and, on his insistence, never told her anything about what he was doing or what he told me. It wasnt until after that day that I learned it was all lies.

I was devastated. I felt hurt, used, and betrayed. (I realize now...its because I actually was.) I was a wreck. It didnt help that 4 months later...he died. Needless to say, it was a very, very tough grieving period. I locked myself away in my room, unable to summon the energy to even get up in the morning. I had suffered from mild depression prior to this, but it was much worse. I couldn’t find a way to get through this, suffering for months, and eventually, began to think about suicide.

Thats where Holly came back in.

Besided the playthroughs helping cheer me up a lil whenever I put them on, it was her advice that really began my path to healing. Her kind words and support to others began to help me sort through the baggage I had been dealing with about my dad. I began to follow her advice on how to deal with my depression, and began to slowly ull myself back from the edge, and, over time, began to pull myself back up. Eventually, with her help, I began to attend regular therapy sessions, and managed to fully come to terms with what my father had done to me, as well as properly manage both my depression and anxiety problems. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for Holly. She helped keep me going when I really needed it. She, for lack of a better expression, helped save my life. I’ll always be grateful to her for that...despite all of this. Ever since then, whenever I felt my depression weighing me down, or felt my anxiety creep back up on me, I could rely on her to help keep me grounded.

When all this happened, I couldnt help but notice I felt the same way as I did all those years ago. Despite the fact that its just some random lady on the internet, and shouldnt have mattered as much as it did...it still hurt on a personal level. The worst part of this whole thing? I can’t go back to the thing that helped me out whenever I felt this way. Not without being reminded everywhere I go of how everyone thinks of her.

So...maybe thats why I’m doing all this. Not just to stop people from spreading hate and rumors based on speculation...but because part of me cant/doesnt want to believe one of the people I relied on and put trust in could be the bad guy. Because part of me just refuses to let go or lose someone who meant so much to me. Because part of me wants to believe that things will get better...even if I know they wont.

If you read through this, thank you. Maybe someone out there feels the same way I do. Maybe, if they dont, someone can understand. Its been a rough month for me. I just hope things will look up somehow. I dont know if I’m gonna come back to this. Im realizing it probably isnt healthy. The only thing I have left to say, then, if I dont come back; please, try to spread good. I know this is the internet, and even worse, tumblr...but i think people need some light nowadays. and constantly spreading hate and cruelty...that wont help anyone. I know nothing i say matters, that nothing i’ve done has changed any minds. but even if you cant trust Holly anymore, or dont believe anything she says...at least believe in one of her beliefs. That kindness is the greatest thing to spread to others, and the world can sure use a lot more of it.

Good night.

[dearsadgoat]

recovery

recently, there was a major fire in my city. a little before the fire happened, i went through probably the lowest point in my life i’ve been in thus far. it culminated into one night of forcing myself to break down a number of walls and fake fronts i put up around me. these stood for about 5 years.

during that 5 year period i lied to myself and tried to trick myself into thinking i was something else so i could fit in with my rapidly changing friend groups, both online and in real life. i started distancing myself from a number of things, including shows, interests, and friends. i pushed away mlp for fear that my friends who were now falling out of it would ditch me if i were still into it. i pushed away my desire to learn music because the relationship between my brother and i only got worse as high school went on. i pushed away old friend groups for reasons so stupid i dont remember anymore.

instead of doing videos for fun and my own enjoyment, i started making them with the intention of becoming popular. i was never good at those and i wasn’t willing to learn to make myself better because i only wanted the success. the worst part about this was the fact that i did it for so long i managed to make myself believe that this was what i wanted, to be making low effort gaming videos on youtube well past its peak. because that’s what I thought I was going to “make it” doing. it should be noted i pushed away a group of youtuber friends before this, who may have been able to talk sense into me.

to this day i have only met one other person who makes videos.

fast forward to a few months ago. back in june, i started a new job, the one im currently working, doing lifeguarding at a pool. in july, my friends and i did our annual trip to anime expo, and aside from some incidents it was fun. i went on vacation with my family to arizona, and we saw a number of beautiful sights. i enjoyed it a lot.

however, this is the end of the fun.

anime expo, as always, brought me the panic of being around so many people. it isn’t the volume of people however, im relatively comfortable in a crowd. its the idea that i can look around in any direction and see people probably way happier and in better places in life than i am. look one way, i see a group of attractive people in cosplay that’s way better than mine. look the other way, i see a group of friends all laughing and clearly have shared interests, unlike my friends where we all have kinda splintered tastes so we don’t spend all the time together at conventions.

i spent a good amount of the convention wandering it with my friend mike. we went as Haru and Rin from Free, him being Haru, me being Rin.

around that time i was having major self image issues. i gained a good amount of weight the months prior, and i couldn’t lose it no matter what i tried, and consistently going to the gym, doing workouts given to me by professionals showing me no change killed my motivation. i couldn’t get myself to even go anymore come june.

so when mike was stopped by 10+ people (i stopped counting after a while) for pictures and to compliment him on his cosplay, meanwhile outright ignoring me, i started feeling like my image issues weren’t just “in my head” like i’d been told. despite this i tried my best to ignore it and move on. except i couldn’t.

the other cosplay i did was a crossplay of Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill. I actually had the right length/hair color for Mako’s hair, so I saved money on a wig and got it cut like hers. the hair actually looked fine in context of the cosplay, however the cosplay in the context of anything was atrocious.

i couldn’t fit into the seifuku i bought, despite being sure to buy a size much larger than what you’d expect. trying to ignore my brain telling me im a fat fuck i improvised with a white shirt and a light blue neckerchief. with the wrong color shoes, basic shirt, neckerchief, basic skirt, and my hair cut instead of a wig, i was the definition of awful cosplay.

i hyped up finally being able to crossdress in public to myself for months. i’ve wanted to crossdress publicly since i was 15. at no other convention in the past did i have the courage. i got rid of pretty much all body hair, and upon finally being able to do so, i thought it was everything i wanted.

looking in the mirror showed me i was nothing more than an ugly fatass trying to look cute. i was the fucking person people at conventions take candid photos of and post on tumblr to make fun of. im sure im gonna one day come across a picture of me in that “cosplay” accompanied with some text about how embarrassing i was.

so with now both my cosplays fun sucked out of them by myself, the rest of the convention went on, but i couldn’t fully suppress the idea that i was unhappy.

the arizona trip i’ll save for another post, it’s a complete offshoot with it’s own backstory.

these are nowhere near all of the events i feel caused enough problems for what happens later, just the major ones. also there’s no way i can write every single thing that’s happened to me and contributed to my sad demeanor over the last 21 years.

after that though, the rest of the summer is a blur, i dont remember anything i did, and i don’t remember starting school again. i just know i’ve been going for almost 16 weeks now.

for some reason, a lot of things that didn’t use to bug me have been bugging me. stuff that I thought i’d grown accustomed to seeing, like the ever poisonous anti-male rhetoric that this site likes to parade. i’ve been on tumblr since i was like 13, i’ve seen it, i should be used to it and know to ignore it, right?

i guess not. every post i see related to something meant to make me feel shitty for being a guy takes another chip at me throughout the day. despite my best efforts i can’t forget them.

i just don’t have the energy to put up with stuff anymore, and it really feels like im out of energy to put into caring about things. i’ve been feeling like this since the beginning of the above five year period of not knowing why i wasn’t happy with what i was supposed to be happy with.

eventually we get to one saturday at work. two pools are being used for an event, the third is being rented out for a kids birthday party. im on the tower supervising the party when my best friend kaylie comes to rotate me. we chat for a sec, and as i start to walk off, she says my name. i turn around and she points at the water. no more than 3 feet from where im standing, two kids are wrestling in the water. except they weren’t wrestling for fun, they were wrestling to get on top of one another and drowning each other in the process. mind you, this is the deepest part of the pool and it’s only like 4 1/2 feet deep. I slide in, hoist up both of them, and launch into the caring procedure bullshit.

i get them out, tell kaylie im going to get a towel, and eventually other guards start asking me what happened. all of the sudden people are toting me as being a hero for making my first rescue withing my first year. you’d think that’s something to be proud of, right?

yeah you’d think that.

i felt nothing. all i had was that i was doing my job, and if it were like ten seconds earlier kaylie would’ve got them. i didn’t do anything special.

of course that ended up as a conflict in my mind, and on the way home i bought alcohol and spent the night drinking alone.

fast forward a few more days, and i get home from work. it wasn’t a particularly hard day, or any major thing happened, just a lot of small little things that chipped away at my patience, a few comments made by coworkers that really weren’t asked for, and this and that ultimately led to me driving home at the end of the night upset.

i get home, and think to myself im going to unwind with some video games. i dont remember what happened or what i was playing, but some major thing happened that led to me calmly turning off the game and turning to my computer to stare at it for the next two hours, only occasionally clicking to something new.

nobody tells you what it’s like to break. partly because, they cant. the way i see it everyone breaks differently. every breakdown i’d had up until that point had been loud, angry, and full of jerky motions through teary, blurred eyes. they were like someone kicking over something i was making in one fell swoop.

this time it felt like i watched someone pick away at the foundation until it all started to slide down like sand.

i broke, at first without tears, questioning what i was doing at that moment, and what i was doing in general. nothing made sense. my head couldn’t keep a thought for a moment. i felt like my chest was caving in. i didnt end up eating anything that night. i honestly can’t describe how i felt and what i did, it was such a blur.

i started going on a nostalgia scavenger hunt. something i had seen recently drove me to want to search out the mlp meetup group i used to be a part of. i found pictures of me and my friends at different events back in 2011, 2012, and i started doing what i can only describe as motioning a whimper. as in, whatever you picture when you think of whimpering, only without sound.

I saw pictures of me being happy, truly happy. i hadn’t been truly happy in the last 5-6 years since these pictures were taken. at least not for more than the occasional time.

as if on queue, a friend from one group of friends i changed myself to fit in with messaged me. i asked him if he wanted to take a trip with me, and i spilled everything.

i confessed to being a liar, a poser, a shitty person who couldn’t even tell his friends that he wasn’t everything he said he was. i told him at one point in my life i had actual ambition and ways to achieve success outside of being the scummy piece of shit i’d become when i became friends with them. (please dont misunderstand, they’re good people, i just had a warped sense of what i needed to do to be their friend back then)

he let me angrily type and rant and have a major breakdown to him without interruption for almost an hour, and finally he paused me and started trying to talk me through this.

after he gave me his piece on the matter, i turned to another one of my best friends, jacob. jacob was one of the irl friends i went to meetups with, and we’ve been friends since middle school. we’re closer than anyone else i know i’d bet, even closer than kaylie and i.

because of time differences, our conversation lasted the next two days, basically telling him everything, that i wasn’t happy with myself, that i haven’t been happy with anything for a long time. the only thing that mattered to me in his response was that nothing was different between us. he said he was going to a therapist soon, and said that i should try it. i have not, and i dont plan to for fear of what i might find out. still, everything he said i took to heart and i thank him for it.

at this point, i decided that i could fix all of this, that i could make myself someone i’d like to be. i was going to work hard and no matter what i wasn’t going to break like that ever again. nothing was going to stop me, no matter the odds.

someone up there must love testing my patience.

a week later, the fire happened. within the span of an hour i had gone from coming home from a test, to helping my mom with the recycling, to rushing home because the sky over our house was brown. the next few hours was me running on no food, a sweaty, ash-covered mess, to get everything of importance out of the house. everything that was too hard to replace was taken. as painful as it was it meant leaving behind just about everything that had value to me, as i took only the things that mattered in a worldly view, not a personal view.

God listened to my prayers that day, and the fires burned half a mile from my house, but no closer. The trail i walked a thousand times growing up was no more. it’s about 4 houses down from mine, to give perspective. everything was black and soot, trees stood with burn marks and missing leaves. The creek was dried up. everything is a mess. i walked out and took pictures of it a few days after, just for memory sake.

that day was a test to see whether or not I was actually going to keep my word. i didn’t break that day, despite wanting to often, and i did what was most important for my family.

since then, i’ve shuffled around a lot of different aspects of my life. a lot of things are changing, and im not comfortable with a lot of them. however, these are good changes. i have to make myself uncomfortable to be able to find what i belong to once again.

and i hope and i pray that this is going to be the time i prove to myself i can break out of this

[zairehyun-blog]

can you do all of the ask things? 🙈

OH GOD 

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

mic drop - btstraining wheels - melanie martinez drive - halseydo i wanna know - arctic monkeysnicotine - panic! at the disco ready for it - taylor swift 

bonus: forever - exo, earned it - the weeknd, & cherry bomb - nct 127

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

fhgjfkjhgf maybe my mom

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

answered

4: What do you think about most?

answered

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

from my twin and it says “I FUCKING SWEAR SQUISHY YAWNED”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

ok it depends here. it depends on how cold it is and if my boyfriend is willing to share his shirt but normally no

7: What’s your strangest talent?

i’m like really flexible for no reason??? 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

answered 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

i’ve had my sister’s stalker write a poem abt me akfjdhskl 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

answered

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

no lol 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Wh- who does that-

13: What’s your religion?

answered

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

trying to go back inside no but probably taking pictures of the sky to show my dad lmao

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

answered

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

fdhsfjk between exo or bts

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my dads that my sister was the one who broke a lamp ASFJSD

18: Do you believe in karma?

answered

19: What does your URL mean?

answered

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i talk abt my twin a lot but, being away from her literally drains me of my energy, and i’m not sure abt my greatest strength lmao

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

this mAN

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

answered

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write it down or i tell someone im really close too

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

of very long sweaters lol

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends,,, im a really talkative person so i guess both

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Kinda, I’m still learning who I am, so I can’t answer this yet. 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

answered

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

answered

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

tHIS HOUSE IS FUCKiNg haunted no one tell me otherwise and, i do because how can we be the only species in the entire galaxy?? it doesn’t make sense

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch my boyfriend and he looked at me like “what the fuck are you doing” asghsjf i also touched a pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

answered (still cologne) 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

fcuckIng school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I love both :(((

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

fdhjfkdfh i don’t know lmao

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

mansae - matthew 2k17

36: Define Art.

the way he looks at me

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yeah

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Perfect tbqh

39: What time is it?

8:40 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and no

41: What was the last book you read?

Alice in wonderland

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

ADJFHSDjfk i don’t like it but i also don’t hate it

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Zaza, Z & then my korean name (which I won’t state.)

44: What was the last film you saw?

“IT”

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I broke my pinky and now it can bend in weird ways

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

YeS GHJDSKF

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’ve been getting into more animes and I’m getting back into cosplay lmao

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

answered

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

answered

50: Do you believe in magic?

yes i am a magical little bean

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

it depends on how wrong the thing they did was lmao

52: What is your astrological sign?

Pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save it and then I spend it on other people HAHA

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought myself a promise ring (for smth personal agfhkjsf)

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

to my lovely baby (’:

57: How many relationships have you had?

2 but if you count this one then 3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school & i went out to dinner C:

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes 

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

🦄

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

tbh my hair or my charm lmAo

64: Where is your best friend?

She’s in Seoul >:c

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

answered

66: What is your heritage?

Korean, Japanese & Arabian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

eating

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Satan is his last name his first name is Lucifer

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

answered

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes, honestly. That’s what I aspired to be, to be what my younger self needed.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

ILL SAVE THAT FUCKING DOG LIKE IM ABOUT TO DIE FUCK MY JOB. IM NOT LETTING A DOG DIE

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I’m not sure if I answer all of these so I will

A, I would but I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want anyone hurt but I know that they would be hurt even more if I didn’t say anything so ??? 

B, I would spend it with people I love 

C, Yes. 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

ASFJHDS love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

DIAMOND BY EXO AKSFDSJK

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

answered

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust & communication

77: How can I win your heart?

^^

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

We’re all a little mad.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

saying i love you

80: What size shoes do you wear?

11

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“we’ll love again we’ll laugh again and it’s better off this way”

82: What is your favourite word?

adventure idk why

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

well i think of andi but i also think abt him.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“FATHER SUE HIM/HER/THEM”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

mic drop

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

pastel colours & black and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

my twin, her fiance, my nephew, my boyfriend, my parents & myself lol

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

my sister’s stalker

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m not sure lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d would be like “how thE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE, and u can stay if u want just don’t be a dick.” then i’d let them stay and i’d be the real mummy of the groUP IM SORRY

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

FLYING/TELEPORTATION

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I said i love you

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

what she did to me that night akfjhgjfdks

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

,,,baekhyun,,,,

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

BACK TO OSAKA TO SEE MY FAMILY 

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

my uncle

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no

98: Ever been on a plane?

yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

answered but that i still love my boyfriend 🌷

[comfypants4life]

First Cosplay at 28

It’s never too late to start, right?

I’ve wanted to cosplay since I first saw someone on the internet doing it in university. But I was broke and a full time student and most importantly, I was not happy with my body. I’d done crash diets before and I loved how I looked after two weeks of barely eating, followed by the years in between where I would gain it all back and then some. I put it aside as something I would do when I had more time (to get in shape) and money. As soon as I started working I had absolutely no time and I got a puppy! So no cosplay for me! And as the years past by the cosplay community grew and I started seeing cosplayers that were plus size or cosplaying out of their skin colour. This world was becoming so accessible and I loved it! And I sat at my computer planning out the perfect costumes for this years FanExpo, never getting to it and wearing a fan shirt or pjs (as I have a few). 

But it really wasnt enough. Everything was prepackaged and it didnt feel earned. I put so much thought into making a tsunade costume and then in the end being too lazy to make a damn green hapicoat. It was me being lazy as usual.  Last year I was so fed up with myself and my life I needed a big change. I quit my job with nothing to go into. I couldn't help it, I was so unhappy, thats all I want to share about it. 

I began to focus on me and what I wanted to do. I dont want to go into everything I did to change, because I’m still trying to figure out what I need to change. And I just started writing about myself and Im shy!

Long story short, I re-discovered I liked creating things. I helped my family renovate my grandmas condo and then tried my hand at cosplay. 

I absent-mindedly typed my last name into YouTube one day and found the Overwatch minibackstory movie ‘Dragons’. I flipped out. I messaged my dad and uncle who had a few eerie similarities (no dragons or gangster connections, though I wish! :P). I’m the eldest Shimada in my family and I’ve loved a ton of archers in my day (Legolas started it all hehe) so Hanzo caught my interest right away; an elder Shimada with a crazy bow and that dragon tattoo. Was it fate!? (hehe) Looking at his costume, looked perfect for a beginner like me: the pants were baggy and the top didn’t even fit him! He didnt have nearly as many accessories as the other characters and the hair meant I didnt need a wig. This was going to be my perfect first cosplay.  I downloaded the trial as soon as I could and realized... I sucked as Hanzo, and I was much better as Genji! T-T I’m more of a hack and slash player! But I did not let that deter me! Ok it deterred me a little. I was suppose to be this skilled ninja archer and they only time I got kills were with the damn dragon! And what about all those other characters that I actually was so into but had no idea where to begin with them. What about Tsunade or Rogue! Naruto had ended awhile ago and no one was talking about Tsunade. It was a tough call but I knew a genderbent Hanzo had not been done to death and it was new and relevant. Not the most genuine reasons to do it but like I said, I really did like the character! I just wasn't too great at using him.

1. Budget- $100

I wasn’t going to go over board with this whole cosplay thing. Searching ready to wear costumes I realized I did not have the budget to spend $$$ on a shiny version of the kimono I wanted. It looked cheap and it would be quite obvious that I had no hand in making it. I just gave myself the figure of $100 to work with and tried my best to find things that would fit and that I could go to with my dog (aka within walking distance). Fortunately there is a Michaels, a DeSerres, a limited dollar store and an art college store within a 1km radius of where I live :D the benefits of living downtown! But no home depot/ big box home improvement stores to help me out. 

2. That damn bow. 

Looking at Hanzo the first things you notice are his badass shoulder and arm tattoo and that massive bow. Having the character reference for Hanzo was my salvation and seeing the scale of the bow beside his was daunting. It was basically 4/5 as tall as me and with the tips I knew this was going to be the breaking point of this cosplay. If I couldnt do this then I wasn’t going to continue. All the videos and tutorials I watched used tools or products I didn’t have access to or were too expensive. I tracked down a store downtown that sells supplies for a fair price and even at that I couldnt justify using worbla. And forget about making a 5 tall bow out or wood- I didn’t have space for a saw in my condo! 

I could not find the foam that I saw a few cosplayers using so I needed to get creative. It needed to be light but sturdy enough. I decided to go with the largest 1 inch styrofoam board I could get my hands on 2 2x3 feet sized pieces! It was light as air and large enough that my while pattern would fit with room to spare on one piece! I took full advantage and then some with the Michaels coupons ranging from 40-50% off I didn’t bother looking anywhere else. 

I broke the pattern into six pieces, traced the pattern out like I saw in a million tutorials and then tried to put it all together. However I forgot how much styrofoam shits little balls everywhere when the knife isn't sharp enough. I also did not realize how brittle and impressionable it was! I held it too firmly while I was sanding one side and it was forever dented on the one side. I covered my work with acrylic molding paste and gave it the modpodge then gesso treatment. Days went by as I worked on each piece individually. And when I went to put it all together of course it didn’t fit well! 

I will save the rest of the details for my next post that will be focused on this costume because this is becoming way too long of a post. TO WRAP IT UP>>

My point is that even though you research and try to plan your cosplay/ life out shit goes wrong and you got to find a way of getting pass it. There’s times where you just want to give up, you question why you are even doing this at all. But I’ve learned that sometimes you got to just take a step back and breathe. Talk to your friends, even if they are not experts on it they can give you a different perspective and at the very least offer encouragement. Go back to the drawing board and see if there is something you missed because you thought you knew all the answers. Just don’t give up and don’t stop. Because its so much harder to start back again after you’ve given up. And a lot of the little things that you think people will shit on are barely notice unless you bring it up. Focus on the parts of your cosplay/ life that you are proud of and thankful for and learn from those mistakes and make something amazing next time! 

[sugarysweetselflove]

There's a lot I've been thinking about with the new year

I'm very happy, I think. I like where I am right now, not that I'd be happy to stagnate because I definitely want to improve my life in a ton of ways

But I'm happy.

I need to get out of my childhood home and back up to school though. Something about bring here just makes me sad and incapable of doing anything. Being here makes me want to quit exercising and quit music. To do what? To be a banker and put all my efforts into sewing? I don't want that for myself, really. I want to get my education and sing.

I'm working on it, too, but I can't seem to do it when I'm home.

When i get back i need to start training again, both with my singing and my running.

I need to find a new place to live. Not that things are awful, but i can't afford where I am for another year.

I need to start cooking and meal planning. Itll save money and help me eat more healthily

I also just need to save money just in general

Once I can start saving a little bit, Id also like to buy a nintendo switch. Its the only way ill be able to keep up with nintendo games now, and id really like to play more games

Just like id like to do more cosplaying and voice acting i guess, but that has to wait until i have my degree, i think.

But then i wonder if i could do that while also singing. I feel like i can, but maybe not while im working on my degree. I dunno.

I also want to stay with my boyfriend. This is my first ever serious relationship, and we've only been together for four and a half months, but i really like him an awful lot. I don't know if this is the case with all """"serious relationships"""" but i could genuinely see myself marrying him and having a family. Not that I would want that any time soon, obviously, but i could see it happening. I don't know what he wants though. I know he really cares about me and he said once that he could see us being really serious, but i dont know if he's the kind who would be willing to do a whole lot of compromising. At least, when I brought it up, it sounded like he thought that that would just make both parties miserable. I know he doesn't come from a super happy or loving place, but I think compromise in relationships is something that should work, right? In the mean time, we're having a lot of fun. We're planning a trip to Orlando in March, and I'm super excited for it. I also bought us some fun goodies to try out after a little weekend trip we took to Jacksonville last week, and I can't wait to show him.

God, i like him so much. I hope we work out in the long run.

I also hope I can keep working hard this year.

Last year was so full of changes, but I conquered them. I'll keep up the good work.

[thefabkilljoy]

1, 5, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 23, 24, 25-27, 29, 30-33, 36-38, 41-44, 47, 51, 53-55, 59, 60, 61, 64, 67, 70, 72-74, 76, 81-87, 89, 99 sorry it's so many ^.^

Iddhsgsbshsj okay here we GO ((sorry for how long this post is about to be in advance lol))

1. 6 of the songs you listen to most?It’s kinda hard to answer this as I listen to so much and fluctuate between which genre I want to binge listen to but prob something from p!atd, mcr, or maybe Hamilton idk I’ve been listening to a lot of that recently for some reason

5. What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Oki” ,.,….. like okay but weirder I guess

9. Ever had a poem or song written about you?Nothing other than like family projects by my brother and this one time a friend wanted to write a song about me because I came back from a week vacation in Canada but it never happened oh and I think I was in a couple raps lmao

10. When is the last time you played the air guitar?lol like last week at a friend’s house when I was imitating pharah’s new dance emote in overwatch

11. Do you have any strange phobias?I don’t think I have “"strange”“ ones but I faint around needles and I’m claustrophobic

14. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Ew,,.,. Outside,.,. Uh well I only go outside on obligation so probably walking the dog or going out with some friends

15. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Is this,,.., metaphorically?? I can’t tell but either way probably most of the time behind but I guess it matters on the situation?

16. Favorite band?My Chemical Romance or Panic! At The Disco because my emo phase will never truly leave me

17. What as the last lie you told?Uh idk I don’t lie very often,… well I just told someone I couldn’t go to something when I just,,, didn’t want to and I also just told someone I ”“appreciated their words”“ when I sure af didn’t

19. What does your URL mean?Well my URL on almost everything is TheFabulousKilljoy ((mcr ref)) but THAT was obviously taken so I made this and it’s the only website I’ve ever used it on

20. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?Everything and nothing hella

23. How do you vent your anger?Do nothing until I get over it or go to the vent channel on a discord server I’m on and complain

24. Do you have a collection of anything?When I in third grade I collected erasers, then in fourth I collected silly bands, and then after that not really anything unless you count the growing landfill of empty water bottles I’m too lazy to throw away in my room

25. Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Shrug probably voice chatting bc discord doesn’t support video chat yet ((I use discord a lot of you haven’t noticed))

26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?More or less, but I believe I still have a long way to go

27. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Hate: anything too loud that isn’t musicLove: rain!!!!

29. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Nope and yep, ghosts don’t really make sense to be real and duh of course there’s other life out there somewhere do you KNOW how big this universe is??

30. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. A supernatural blanket which I lowkey hate because it has the main characters on it and isn’t THAT terrifying to see when you’re trying to sleep and iron pills for my anemia

31. Smell the air. What do you smell?Shampoo because I just got out of the shower

32. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?There’s this house in Vegas that i have to go to every once in a while for vacation that I absolutely despise

33. Choose: East Coast or West Coast?West, I live in California

36. Define art. Anything that somebody creates

37. Do you believe in luck?Eh not really? Maybe?

38. What’s the weather like right now?Cloudy in the 70'sish but no rain :((

41. What was the last book you read?Oh god I have no idea probably the Princeton Review APWH 2017 Study Guide™

42. Do you like the smell of gasoline?Not really but my brother loves it

43. Do you have any nicknames?Killjoy, kj, tfkj, your royal highness ;))

44. What was the last film you saw?I don’t know what the last one I saw was called but the one before that was Dirty Dancing

47. Do you have any obsessions right now?Homestuck, Steven Universe, Still Mystic Messenger for some reason, Supernatural, Hamilton also for some reason I haven’t even seen it, the new FOB album ((can’t wait)), Skyrim, Overwatch, and about 846272 other things

51. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Yes, but again it depends on the situation and the person and how, if at all, it was resolved

53. Do you save money or spend it?Save until I get enough to buy something I want ((rn it’s the void sweatshirt from wlf so if anyone wants to throw me like $40 hmu ;;);)););)(;);,),;),))))

54. What’s the last thing you purchased?I can’t remember

55. Love or lust?Love of course

59. Where were you yesterday?Home playing a ton of overwatch

60. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Yep, a pink skirt I use for Roxy cosplay ((still working on that,,, eventually)) a Steven universe crop top im not actually allowed to wear lol, a flower, one of those eos lip balm eggs, and a flower crown thing from medieval times ((the knight dinner show thing))

61. Are you wearing socks right now?Okay honestly I just got out the shower and I’m very lazy so I’m just sitting here with a towel

64. Where is your best friend?Uh I don’t know probably at her house

67. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?I was on tumblr and discord because sleep schedules are for the weak

70. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?No I’m an asshole lol, but having shared interests would be nice

72. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) what do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?Wow that’s dark okay uh I would tell everyone because then I’d just,,, die out of nowhere and they’d be so confused, with my remaining days I’d probably travel and make amends with people and try to do some good things in the world in the month I have left, and I’d probably be afraid but eventually accept it

73. You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust, love isn’t 100% necessary and it’s built off of trust nyanyways

74. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?There’s definitely some but I sure can’t think of them right now

76. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Mutual trust, the ability to have fun with one another, shared interests and views, established boundaries

81. What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Something really witty and/or confusing so when people see it in the graveyard they’re just like,,, what the fuck was wrong with her

82. What is your favorite word?I don’t know I need time to prepare for these questions smh

83. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. A,,,,,,,, heart

84. What is a saying you say a lot?Oh god I have a lot of terrible annoying things I say a lot like rip, diddly darn, golly gee gosh, big mood, I’d let (her/him/you/them) step on me ((I say that all the time whenever I really like someone or someone says something nice to me lmao)) etc.

85. What’s the last song you listened to?Some Queen song I don’t remember that was playing

86. What’s your favorite color/colors?Black and pastel pink

87. What’s your current desktop picture?Well My computer has the Aperture Laboratories™ symbol from portal, my phone lock screen is my cat with a flower crown I photoshopped on him because,,, i love cats so much,,,, and my home screen is Bubblegum and Marceline from adventure time kissing ((even though I haven’t watched the show in years))

89. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?There’s probably a ton but my least favorite that always comes up during truth or dare and stuff is "who do you have a crush on?” bc I can’t say that without outing myself bc spoiler alert: she’s a girl

99. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?“HOLY SHIT THE WHOLE WORLD IS LISTENING TO ME RIGHT NOW I CANT FUCK THIS UP”

And we DID IT! Questions=Answered what a trip ((also something I say too much)) there’s probably hella spelling errors and shit but there’s no way I’m double checking this lmaothanks for asking my dude!!

[verydeepthots]

funny silly lines

“my homie said you gotta write eloquently for catfish you better finesse that english language for them lovely ladies and bitch ni99as”

“my homie said lloyd banks said you gotta pop a listerine strip before you get all up in a bitch face”

“my homie said some of these bitch ni99as gotta watch The Craft to see what happens to foul play”  

“my homie said any dude that love poker too much don’t like sex he always wanna cover up”

“my homie said he bought his mom groceries... today was a good day”

“my homie said they can’t even fly away with them flaps between their legs”

“my homie said put that indie film Suicide Watch on that summer jam screen”

“my homie said even when a gangster angry he look scared”

“my homie said he wanna use red tape for foreplay with a fake gangster’s mother”

“my homie said he gonna tie a fake gangster hands with red tape and make him pray to a god of another religion”

“my homie said he gonna send fake gangsters pictures of their dead mothers to always stay connected”

“my homie said he wanna write suicide hotline on fake gangsters forehead in gold posca”

“my homie said he wanna hang snake ni99a from a tree using a real snake so it look like a natural death”

“my homie said fake gangsters remind him of childs play he wanna collect them all then play barbies with jail cell”

“my homie said to be blunt these fake gangsters are pointless”

“my homie said he gonna make fake gangsters wash their undies using their mother’s tears”

“my homie said how fake gangsters leave their mothers like that clearly didn't watch game 6″

“my homie said when they squeeze you out then you squeeze them in the world perfect like that”

“my homie said he sends love letters to fake gangsters then gets their mothers to sign them with the kindest regards in strictly faber castell”

“my homie said he makes reservations for a fake gangster at the jail cell and the graveyard so he can always meet them at the finish line... i always got you”

“my homie said he wanna give a fake gangster a headlock coz its the only way they gonna close it when he splits it open”

“my homie said he wanna ravage a fake gangster ass coz its technically not gay if he uses 1.5m metal cock extension he got the all clear from lgbt community”

“my homie said he still shakes enemy hands out of curiosity for what dick size they can handle for the next 50 odd years stuck in a jail cell... he's so futuristic”

“my homie said he bought a fake gangster’s mom baggy jean shorts for her birthday so they can mix n match together”

“my homie said they use more cover ups than a bitch now watch my rap flow wash em away”

“my homie said he took his parents out to dinner on a boring tuesday coz he's getting old and life is precious”

“my homie said he drinks green tea every sunday morning its his new thing”

“my homie said he didn't cry at his homie’s wedding and it still annoys him to this day”

“my homie said his friend’s kids look happy and that’s a good thing”

“my homie said that ni99a bitch went to handsome boy modelling school thats foul”

“my homie said that girl’s outfit is very considered for a sunday afternoon she's cool”

“my homie said he bought a fake gangster bootlegs to complete the whole personification of a needy bitch”

“my homie said if they like drip drip torture they should ask their girl”

“my homie said pinch a fake gangster on the ass and whisper they’ll never believe you when you get inside”

“my homie said he gonna bathe a fake gangster’s mother with holy water to let him know exactly what time it is boy boy”

“my homie said that a fake gangster is saving face so he can get skull fucked in jail” 

“my homie said he wanna make his mother proud and be dentist when he grow up so he can pull out a fake gangster’s grill to make it easier for him to get skull fucked to make it a smoove transition omg he always so thoughtful”

“my homie said even if they time travel they can’t keep up when he slow play”

“my homie said he gonna bring a ginger beer keg to a gangster funeral”

“my homie said a gangster suicide still cheaper than weekly groceries tight arses”

“my homie said he made a car crew drive around with helmets on they either shit scared or doing juggernaut cosplay and unfortunately won’t make menswear blog this week”

“my homie said there’s always bad apples so we gonna make them crumble”

“my homie said he wanna give early retirement to old haters then aeroplane spoon feed eggplant soup inspired by method man skit”

“my homie said he wanna make calipos from fake gangster tears to give to their mothers while they locked up”

“my homie said money ain’t a thang but a green light to a fire”

“my homie said their mothers got more heart”

“my homie said even gay dudes don’t want no jail time so what are these motherfuckers playing dumb”

“my homie said he guilt tripping all these bitch ni99as like a lawyer”

“my homie wanna give direct free kick to a fake gangster in honour of pras lyrics”

“my homie said if they steal money that’s just an investment for their momma funeral look at it as a good deed... love conquers all”

“my homie said he wanna buy tissue subscription for a fake gangster as a sexual favour”

“my homie said he wanna give a handie in pulling away a fake gangster’s manhood... he wylin for that one but so thoughtful of our future wellbeing”

“my homie said they injected themselves with too much pride serum they gonna overdose what a way to go out kekekeke”

“my homie said he undecided if he should get courtside at watching paint dry or watch this fake gangster indirectly plead with imma come see you but lets agree to disagree nah mean like im right here though ain’t i cmon man please”

“my homie said should he throw up the money to watch a fake gangster get slapped by his mother or let one of his gay homies do his thang thang”

“my homie said he told a fake gangster get up off your knees you ain’t paraplegic yet my guy”

“my homie said him and his girl re-enacted ghost scene making penis clay straws to give out to any next ni99a that wanna play up”

“my homie said we live in a beautiful world so he went out to go hang with his friends today he seems really happy”

“my homie said he sent a seed to every one of his haters so they can learn to grow without him”

“my homie said he sent a box of fresh oysters to his enemies locked away”

“my homie said he did knock and run at fake gangster’s door coz it was a sunny day and he didn't want either of them to stay inside and waste it... man he can be so thoughtful”

“my homie said some people do too much for street cred a homeless person got the most street cred they really out there”

“my homie said any ni99a that love poker more insecure than a bitch”

“my homie said he only eats fish fingers coz thats what he wants his life to be about”

“my homie said his aussie homie sculled a can of vb then spat that shit in the face of a fake gangster’s mother on the anniversary of 2pac in that red bandana”

“my homie said jealousy a trait you can never bounce back from”

“my homie said God don’t need to work in mysterious ways some of these ni99as already know their outcome”

“my homie said he wanna put one fake gangster in every jail in a capital city for all lives matter hashtag”

“my homie said he stick his long term goals up a hater’s ass”

“my homie said they only a thousand deep in a million man march we built differently”

“my homie said wrong one boy boy”

“my homie said he gonna make a crew wanna escape each other”

“my homie said if they need to build a case you got em”

“my homie said when they say i ain’t scared you already know”

“my homie said they rewrite history coz they don’t like they present” 

"my homie said he gonna waltz on your grave bro”

“my homie said they snakes before their sweet sixteen now bitter for their 40s”

“my homie said he put a hater’s girlfriend in a head lock”

“my homie said everyday is a gentle reminder”

“my homie said peaceful loungin is a lifestyle”

“my homie said shit is like a light switch”

“my homie said that crew so grave-y”

“my homie said divide and concur”

“my homie said reading my moves is like watching your oh-bitch-you-wary now I'm coming ni99a brapppt”

hahahahahahaha