#im very good at being fine with all of this. ahd much better about coming out the other side safely
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steampoweredskeleton · 2 months ago
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#delete later#its always fascinating when i get distressed eniugh for my brain to switch off all wants and cares#like i know i care bc i am anxious. but 90% of my emotional capacity is currently non accessible and i am running on pure autopilot#its also nice to see that my autopilot has responded to the amount of work i put into it. it includes physio exercises and meals#and some self care. turns out hsving a crisis plan embedded into your brain is a good thing#sure im the most suicidal ive been in a long time but im also the most functional ive ever been and i have things to do#so everything else can wait until i have the enrgy to sort through it#ive been setting things up for more viewings and pestering ppl for things i need and taking care of ny piercing#as the stress has caused a lot of irritation and swelling so it needs extra care. i even showered today.#go me. its wild what some mental stability does. when it gives way im gonna have an interesting couple weeks but shit will be externally#more stable then so the usual things will help#it is making personal relationships more difficult though. the poor person ive been talking seriously to is flirting and i am#currently not able to access any form of romantic interest or care. previously i would have ghosted but im trying to be better#ny new friend is also getting less than i should be giving her. but i send her cute fox pictures abd that helps.#we shall see how it goes. im lying down a lot and that is helpful. my brain being like this requires a LOT of energy and i cant sleep#so its all a lot. but ill be fine#im very good at being fine with all of this. ahd much better about coming out the other side safely
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innerheadstories · 6 years ago
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My First story post and a very very rough draft.
"Why in the hell did we have to take this route" One of the merchants asked as they pushed threw the thick forest path that had becomes so overgrown in recent time the path was nearly gone. So even with the strong hourses they had for travel it was still hard to get threw with there carts.       "Stop ya belly aching" The other merchant grumbled. "Your the one who wasnted to spend all your time drinking and whoring around in the last village and cost us all that extra time. So if we dont take this path we wont be able to reach Isenberg in time for the festivle" He said annoyed.         The other growned as he led the horse threew the trail having to give it a little extra tug as the wheels had a hard time getting over some of the larger tree roots. "YA but isnt this path notrious for badit attacks. " The other man rolled his eyes. "Oh they say that about every forest path its always badits or mosnters or somthing its nothing more than fear and cowrdice" he said as he contued on.       Of course even thought he said that it didnt mean going threw this path didnt put him more on edge. He kept his dagger close at hand and his ears open.  Although thinking about it now. It was qiet errily so. There was no sound of small animals scurring threw the bush and no birds chirping near by or making calls looking for a mate.  He looked around trying to hear anything that signaled any sighn of life.  
        As they got deeper into the woods and the day grew later it got harded to travel thats when finally they herd it. Snapping of twig. Turning quickly towrs the sound the merchant saw giant of a man coming into view. He had a sick grin as he held a large bloody mace in his hand "Well well what have we got here seemes some travlers got lost in our woods mates." He cuckled as more snapping could be heard and men began coming out of the of the foiliage and from the tree branches above one man had a bow drawn with a arrow aimes right at them. "what a pitty." He said       The large man looked at them ."Well we can show you the way out of course....you have to pay the charge for passing threw our territory" The merchants both huddled close to there items. "Please ...please just let us go" He said as he looked around ath the large number of men gathering. "We are only simple merchants we dont have much but we will give you our money to pass." The other merchant looked at him. "What are you saying." the other one turned quickly to glare at him. "Shut up we can make more money cant make any money if we are dead."          The larger leader laughed as he started forward. "Smart man" He grinned ."And if you dont have enogh we will also be taking your wares." He siad. But before he gotwith striking distance a arrow shot down from the tree tops and into the ground in fornt of him. All the badits looked aroound the one with his bow shooting a arrow back in the direction of that the other ahd shot from but all that could be herd was tthe arrow passing threw tree leaves and branches. .  "what the hell was that " The leader of the group growled.        Suddenly a new voice was herd laughing . "My my what greddy little men you are moeny and their wares how bothersome." The voice seemed to come from the woods themselvs. "And what was about your woods." The laugher was deep and harmoic even the voice was smooth and deep and seemed to resenate  "Please no mere mortal could hope to own these woods or any woods." The voice said. "This forest as all forest is home of the elven people and belogns to no one." Finally a man dropped down from the foilage and landed on a tree branch. He had a bow and arrow quiver on his back as he held a staff in his hands. Although it seemed to be a simple wooden staff it had a beautful red wood color to it with a small blue crystal knessled inside the top of it.  His black hair was long and held small braides near the top to keep it somwhat pulled back behind his ears. His ears were pointed and his skin was a deep copper tone and completly umblemised and looks smooth as silk. His green eyes seemed to dance with amuzment and mischef. "Well well what a truly distubing sight." He said with a grin.     The leader of the bandits glared at the elf. "Who the hell are you."        The elf smiled "How rude of me not to introduce myself Galland at your service .....Well not your service" HE smiled "Morley the service of ....well the whole world I would assume I dont imagin anyone will miss you but the world will be better with you gone from it." HE said. THe man laughed "You gonna do us in little man with what that little stick of yours." He chuckled as he grabbed his crouch. "Me cocks bigger than that little thing." He said "But Ill tell ya what come down here and Ill shove that stick right up your arse and let you wobble home." He smiled befor shaking his head. "Nah Think Ill just use me little stick here to rip your guts out  instead." The man glared as he looked at him then singlaed at his bowman "Kill that little fairy and be done with him." No sooner had he spoke than the man kniocked another arrow and fired at him. The elf grinned twisting and his body and snached the arrow from thre air. "Your quiet good with that." He smiled "But Im better" the man growled and quickly knoked another aroow firing at him and in one swift motion the elf had droped down and using his legs swung around hanging upside down from the treelimb he knoked the arrow he had snacked from the air and shot it back at the man The arrow planted in a tree behind him.    The bowman laughed "Cant be that good ya missed" AS he went to knock another arrow thogh he relesed the elf had actully shot the sting of his bow. His eyes wideneed as the elf grinned "Oh did I" He let got and twisted his body landing on the groud ad putting his bow back on his back. "ALright enogh of this get him boys." The leader gorlwed as they all began converging on the elf. He laughed "Oh dear. He quickly grabbed his staff and blocked the first man to get to him twisting it and knicking the mans blade away before using the end to jab him and knicked im to the ground as another man came at his back he shoved the staff back hitting him in the gut as well with ther head before twisiting around and knicking him from his feet. All this before the gang leader moved over raising his mace. "Try and stop this pretty boy" He snalred swinging his mace down with enogh force that it would snap any nomral weapon in half But just before it connected with the stafft it hit someinviable wall and a shokwave blasted out knocking everyone back. The elf spun his staff around with a laugh "What was that about little twig." HE grinned as he swung it in a wide arc and the jewl in the top glowed as the roots and vines began to come out of the ground and twist around the badnits. The men grolwed and all began wilding choping and slashing at the vines and roots that seemed to have taken a mind of their own as they tried to contrict and wrap around them.The badit leader rared ripping the roots away from him as he rushed the elf. "My my you are a strong one. The male said in a cocky tone as the leader swung wildly at him. The elf smiled as he twisted and ducked around the manes wild swings while the leader tried to keep his feet it seemed the more vines and roots he ripped from the ground focing himself onward the more wrapped around him and tried harder to pull him down. The elf smiled "Seems you having trouble there."  The badit leader swung at him one final time and the elf hoped back holding his hands out he flicked his fingers at the man and the vines wrapped around his writs and arms pulling him to the ground. All right eveyrone time to rest for now."  constricting them and  covering there mouths as the forest itself seemed to suck them into nothing ness as they were pulled into the ground.  The badits thrashs and swung there weapoins widley trying to stop themselves from being pulled into the ground screaming and crying out for mercy. Untill only the badit leader was left. HE strugled agest the vines as he grabbed and tryed ripping them away. "G...god damnit im....im not gonna die to some little fucking elf "  The elf lagughed. "Well I would love to see how your gonna stop me." HE told him as he watched him. BEfore the vines finally took him underground and sucked him into the earth like a living burial. He smiled before turing back ot the merchants who were brushing themselves off and getting to their feet. They looked fearfully at the male elf     "P...please sir we dont want no trouble we just be passing threw."            Galland laughed "Please Im not gonna hurt you." He smiled "Wouldnt have made much sense to save you if I ment you harm" He smiled as he moved his staff to his back and walked over to them with his hands behind his head. "If you keep on the path here you should find the village by tomarow morning ....midday if you stop to sleep for the night." He told them. The both smiled before the one in back came forward. "Please sir if there is anything we can do for you just say it." The elf waved his hand dimissivly before thinking ."Actully Im fresh out of wine so if you could spare a bottle of summer wine I would be most thankfull" The mechant laughed "your in luck I got a wonderfull selection of summer wine just for the festivle" He smiled as he went back to his cart and opened the carrage before pulling out a large bottle of red wine. "HEre a wonderfull wine from the east lands."  The elf smiled as he held the bottle up to the light "Ahhh this lookes eccelent" He smiled "My deepest gratidute." He said AS he began to walk away.     "Wait." One of the men called out "Why not travle with us to the festivle I am sure there would be plenty of other summer wines and we would gladly compensate you for guiding us and protecting us from danger"      The elf shook his head. "You shall be fine this lot was the only badit group currently in the area.' HE smiled "I may see you at the festive" He held up wanted posters "But for now I have bounty to collect' He told them with a chuckle. "Thank you for your help by the way saved me the trouble of having to find them. Oh one last thing could you tell the gaurd in town that they need to come collect these gentalmen." He laughed. agin AS he jumped into the trees and was soon gone from sight..        As instruced once the merchants reached town they went directly to the town gaurds to inform them of what had happened and the gaurds only smiled and nodded thanking them for their information.           As a unit of gaurd entered the forest the had hauled along a large empty cage that was used for prsnor traspoert.       "Captain how far into the woods is this elf."    The captain laughed ."I forgot your new to the regiment arent you." The gaurd nodded as the second one laughed. "Galland is one of the best ounty hunters in this part of the world" He told him as the captain nodded ."While normally elfs only creat problems or hold a sens of self importance Galland is a decent enogh ort he hunts for money and enjoys our festivles." He smiled "Never a bad drinking compainon either. The one gaurd rolled his eyes ."Please eveyone knows elefes look down their noses at us and every other race." He said almost annoyed That was untill they herd the soft melody of the violen that seemed to be carried by the wind into the tranquil forst.      The captain smiled "Ahhh we are getting close." The other gaurd rased a eyebrow, "Is he the one playing." the captain nodded as the contued to move.        Sure enogh they soon came to the area the merchants had left hours before. And sitting atop a tree branch was the male elft he had one leg on the branch with him while his other dnageld care free from the brach while he placyed the violen he held in his skilled hands. his eyes where closed and the soft melody of his instument seemed to only make the forest that much more tranquiel. It was only being so close one would notice the sliet movment of his lips. He was ...singing the elven voice travles threw the trees and with the music in such a way it wouldnt be until you saw him singing that you even relised there were words to accompany the melody.       The new gaurd began to move forward as if he were going ot adress the elev before the captain placed a hand on his shoulder. "Dont worry he knows we are here."    ...It was a moment or two before the male finished his song. As he did he opened his eyes though looking down at the men. "Ahhh captain wonderfull to see you as always." He said hopping down from the tree and landing skillfully on his feet in front of the men.            "Good to see you Galland I hear you have a prisnor delvery for us"     Galland smiled "I may do you have a bounty for me" He asked raiseing his eyebrows playfully" The captain chuckled as the other graurd cleared his throat. "Captain we dont have time for this besides I dont even see any bandits around here" The elef smiled looking over the captain at the one who had spoke. "But my lad they are in ground in the trees cant you sense them all around you"      THe gaurd looked at him "What kind of elf nonsens it that we came to collocet prsnors not hear some natrulist proverbs about eveyone being connected." He glared      Galland laughed "My my captain your new man dosnt seem to like me very much" The captain laughed "Well you are more of a aquired taste" The elf looked offdendn playfull "Oh you wound me sir and I thought we were frineds." HE smiled as he clapped his hands out ouf of the trees and from the ground the bandits were reveald all their hands and legs bound with vines "Mabey I should give thses to someone eles then." The captain laughed as the new recutte jumped as one came up almost form directly under him. Motioning to the two the other gaurd patted the new guy on the shoulder and helped him beging loading the badits into the cage while The captain pulled out a small bag of gold coins. "As always you never dissapoint." The elf smile "I live to please" He smile taking the bag and shaking it before putting it in his shirt. "Your a man of your word I dont think I should need to count it." The captain shook his head. "That attidufde will get you killed somday." Galladn grinned "Yes but today is not that day" He smiled as the captain shook his head while he and his men turned the cart around and began heading out  "Allow me to play you off" He smiled as he jumped back into the tree picking up his istument agin and before long the gaurds could hear the melody of the elves playing once agin accompining them on their way out of the deepe woods.
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