#im turning off reblogs because yknow how it is

[deadinthelake]

i need liked posts to be turned off on tumblr guys i dont need to see that my mutal liked the post "getting FREAKAY in the freak room part five million" like im happy you have hobbies. hobbies are great actually! just. i dont wanna see it, its like getting a cruel vision from the lord above of what your friend is doing at any given moment and it's like the deepest privaacy violation ever. it's like if i was walking down the halls of school and a random person walked up to me and shoved a photo in my face of someone having a moment. like good for them, really, but also i dont think i was authorized to see this information and i dont really thing i wanted to see this information. i feel like some type of wild ass archive of all the sins of my mutals because obviously im not gonna walk up to their dms and be like "hello kind and beloved friend, how was your binge on lego ninjago dick sucking?" because that is insane. how am i supposed to kindly tell me friends that their tumblr is backstabbing them and showing all their muatals their liked posts unprovoked on my dashboard. yknow what is my worst nightmare to see? " liked by --" sometimes it is good and a fine post, and i can like it too. i like it when you can share in our liking and not reblogging! but too many times it has me learning something i dont think i really needed to know. and who knows. maybe i did need to know. maybe the reason tumblr is showing me that my friends are liking "𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖘 𝖋𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊?" is because it is trying to broaden my horizens, it is trying to show me a whole new world of debachery. which sure, introduce me away but i am like not very open to this because you opened the introducion with "you know what your friend of three years that you just helped write a college submission essay has been really into lately?" like i know they have been into spreading love and joy and kindness. i know they have been into their stardew farm. i know they have been into getting a job. and yet there is more horror to come. you know what REALLY horrifes me about this tumblr feature? it's the idea that tumblr might be snitching on ME. it fills me with all the fear of someone who did not pack a bomb going through airport security. because what if once in 2018 i did pack a bomb and now tumblr is coming onto my friend's dashes with a creepy grin, waving around a screenshot of me packing a bomb and going "LOOKY, LOOKY HERE. LITTLE FUCKING SLUTTY BITCH WHORE OF THE CENTURY LIKED AN EMBARSSING FANDOM SEX POST FOURTEEN YEARS AGO." except it would not give them the timestamp. for all my friends would know, i liked that post today. everyday i check that my liked posts are still private. everyday i go into my tumblr settings and make sure that the "share your liked posts!" switch is off, like im the guy who has the watch the nucular reactor radar but on a far more worst and catastrophic level. i feel like the last one of my seer kind, unable to forget or turn off my wretched visions, and I cannot tell any of them for they would not understand so it is my curse to bare alone, until I die out. It is my curse to know that some people in the world, some people who i look upon with all the fondness in the world, people I would save over myself in a heartbeat if it came down to us standing at the end of the world and there is only enough room in the saftey shuttle for one more person, it is my curse, and mine along to bare knowing that that person liked a post of Jack in the Box mascot having his bare ass cheeks on display for the rest of the world. If there is a way to be done with this torment, I do not know. I have scoured the settings and the only option i can find is to hide my own likes, and hope any sins of my long forgotten past will stay locked in a vault so deep even I can't dig them out, even I can't remember what they once were.

[ilguna]

hii! idk if you do this stuff but do you have tips on how to start build an acc? like mutuals followers just general stuff. i'm kinda stuck lmao.

ahhh this one is a hard one to do. if im being honest, i’ve had this account for a while, at least since 2017 😬 buutttt i took a look at your account, im liking the vibes.

when it comes to fanfiction and building an account, usually you have to start writing and posting. i would suggest looking at some of your favorite writers, especially on tumblr if it’s gonna be your main domain and see how they layout their post and try to do something similar.

i’m going to use my acc as an example but there’s many other ways you can go about this.

when i’m looking for fanfiction, i like to see the title of the fic and the person that im looking for specifically. i do it as the title of the fic, some people have it in the body of the text posts.

next i try to summarize it to let people know what it’s going to be about. when i look for fanfic, i have something in mind that i want. i always put warnings because it’s the easiest thing to do/keep track of. sometimes fics can get heavy.

i put a word count in case someone doesn’t want to get caught up in a long fic and they’re just looking for something short and sweet.

and notes is where i put anything important. for that fic, it was the fact that it was based on the taylor swift song. if you’re ever writing based off a certain episode of a show, i would put: spoiler: season x, episode x. or s2ep3. something in that general format.

next comes your fanfiction. people will either love it or hate it. and that’s totally fine. you can put your heart and soul into something and they don’t have to like it. you’re just putting your works out on the market, if they wanna read they will!! if they wanna come back, they’ll follow!!

and tagging is probably the most important way to get traction, in my opinion. i have curated this tagging system over a couple years. it seems to work pretty well. the only rule that i NEVER break is that i DO NOT tag fandoms or characters that are not the main interest of the fic 🙅‍♀️

for example, if the fanfic is about finnick, there is no way that i’m tagging a side character like katniss just for existing inside of it. it clogs up the katniss tags.

anywayyy, that’s my unsolicited advice for writing in general. you just gotta write and post. people will find it in the tags. will you get a bunch of likes/reblogs overnight? not at first. but as long as your works are consistently good, people will follow and come back.

followers on tumblr are not a huge deal. most of the time, people are finding your fics through the search function. they’ll like and move on. if your writing sticks out, that’s when they search your account.

i do not base my entire account around followers either. people will follow and then won’t interact for a loooonggggg time. or ever again. there’s nothing you can really do about it. it’s nice to see a high number but it’s not the end of the world

AND when it comes to mutuals? i don’t really have a lot of advice. i got a lot of my mutuals from the colby brock fandom (shout out to them) back when it was like 15 of us and we were running the whole fanfiction game lol. we still follow each other, but hardly interact.

and it’s kinda the same for some of my other mutuals 🤷‍♀️ i love them all. i think about them sometimes. if we talk to each other, that’s great. if not, i’m not gonna get all uptight about it. life gets in the way and we lose interest in shit.

mutuals are nice if you’re boosting each other’s fics. or to talk to about the latest news with the fandom. yknow. they’re just an internet friend.

i hope this helps? this is just the basic stuff too. when it comes to layout and colors and making your profile look all aesthetic-y, you figure it out over time. i’ll be here if you have any questions 😊

—

edit: also, make sure you turn on anonymous questions!! people usually like to request fics on anon!!

[fictionfixations]

might not necessarily relate but man ive had this eating me up inside for ages because i just felt too worried about writing this down anywhere that id hurt someones feelings but like man its been years now its probably fine

Once I was writing this fic of like a crossover and I was just kinda having fun writing whatever and on like whims so it was kind of a mess but I had fun writing it whenever I got bursts of inspiration of like 'oh hey what if [this happens]'

and then i got a comment that like to be fair was constructive criticism and pointed out a bunch of loopholes and inconsistencies n stuff like that and also how ooc my characters were and that i might as well have just made it an oc thing

which. i really appreciated because yeah im still learning how to write and still improving but it was.. really demotivating

that i kind of just stopped writing that fic entirely. i tried to like take a long time before i posted a chapter telling my readers im discontinuing the fic because i didnt want them to feel like they were the cause of it since yknow they were just trying to be helpful but like man.... it just sucked all the fun out of it for me

and like i mean now im more likely to read like character analyses and like how people would describe their personality on wikis and write fics more on media ive recently consumed so i remember it better in comparison to stuff i havent seen in years and just winging it, and like not skipping over stuff thats really important to the story im telling but i skip over because i dont know how to write it (its really just a letting someone in on the 'truth' so idk man i didnt think i had to summarize it but i guess i did like a big build up to it so sure) and like trying to keep a better track of whats going on so its not all over the place

and like im better at writing people reacting to stuff and like actually doing something which i felt weird about for the longest time because thered just be this one character yapping with a lot of dialogue that i just didnt know how to have the other character react

but sometimes i just think back to like longg paragraphs of notes i had planning out stuff that i kinda wanted to add into that fic (based off of other media id consumed and really liked) and i just never got to do it cause when i was thinking it up it was really fun, and i thought it was fun even if i wasnt entirely sure how i was gonna write it

but then i read that comment and then i look at my notes and then they just.. kind of feel really dumb. like, like its such a bullshit ending idea and just.. didnt know how to keep writing because then i just kind of started being overly critical when i didnt even have the whole idea of the fic planned, it was just literally something i started on a whim and kept continuing on a whim with hella inconsistent updates, just whenever i felt like it but itd still sit in the back of my head brainstorming the whole time so it was still important to me

but ohh man people are taking this seriously

..i should take this seriously

and then i didnt have anything to write. or like id think back on it and want to write something but then id have all these doubts weighing down on me that i just kept putting it on the backburner

which really sucked. (anyway that kinda made me not really want to write multichapter fics for the long term and instead turn them into oneshots that i can return to whenever but most likely not since theyre 'done', and whenever i take too long on a multichapter fic its like whatever im not getting anywhere lets just discontinue)

dont get me wrong i love comments but i also understand like okay you can think oh they could probably do this part better and wanna give constructive criticism and feedback and advice, but its like.. if they dont want it then dont give it?? this is such a complete topic change from the post im reblogging but i dont know where else to put it and am not confident in it standing okay as its own post

and im sure there are ways to word feedback in a way thats less negative and like wouldnt make someone lose motivation but would instead push them to do better like ooh thats another way of how i can do this, but you remember one kinda more negative comment then a bunch of positive ones 😭

also this might be completely different to other people they can prob take it, i just take comments to heart way too much

ive seen some fics that will have in notes that theyre open to like constructive criticism and thats what i mean where its okay to do stuff like that

so like you can share stuff then or if you do write comments on other fics then maybe try to word it in a way that wont make them feel like what theyre doing is stupid or something 💀

like once i got this comment that was like oh you can separate the paragraphs more and that was a nice comment (dont remember the exact wording) and it also changed how i wrote cause before i wrote these huge blocks of text but now theyre more separated into smaller paragraphs and easier to digest

and i found that very helpful, i think it really comes down to the wording since tones are pretty hard to tell in writing (minus tone tags, i dont see a lot of them tbh)

anyway uh

thanks for reading this long ass post

i dont really know if this will resonate with a lot of people or if like i just have like a completely wrong take or if its sounding like i dont like comments (I really do appreciate comments they give me the extra boost i need to write stuff because it tells me that there are people who really like my writing)

but dude ive had this stuck in my head for like 2-3 years and not once have i written anything even hinting towards it because i kept feeling really really bad and didnt want them to feel bad if they were still reading my stuff

but man i just needed to get this out there. get my thoughts out. now ill just start to forget about this now that ive given it an outlet

anyway trying to get back to the actual topic of the post i reblogged

i try to be more accurate and closer to canon now but sometimes i just gotta accept it like man... this is gonna be hella ooc. but yknow what? thats okay. and since its ooc what if i just do THIS and THIS??? whose looking for accuracy points?? not me. also probaly tagging out of character is a good idea just in case so if anyones like 'AGHH THEYRE SO OOC' '*points to tag* WELL YEAH???'

anyway i kinda got that comment when i was a bit more insecure in my writing but in those years ive accepted that yeah fanfiction is just whatever man, its made by the fans for the fans so who the hell cares if its like hella bullshitty or something idfk man theres no limit to what random ass shit you can do in fics (and sometimes that shit is hella funny too) and who cares if its not like professional ass writing (do we look like professionals??? ....*stares at the fic writers who have actually published books* i mean well not all of us LMAO)

also its really really easy to just.. stop reading if you find something in a fic you dont like. you dont have to comment at all. its that easy.

theres so many fics out there that im sure theres one that'll be your cup of tea so its fine if you find one you dont like, just try another one

also dont be afraid to just turn off comments or some shit and keep writing 💀 cause at the end of the day we're kinda just writing what we want, no one else, we just end up posting it for other fans to enjoy so i say do whatever makes you happy, dont let what other people say (who are being negative) affect what you write because at that point wheres the fun in writing?? wheres the charm of doing whatever the fuck you want, or even the charm of planning out a full on story of this idea that you really like and want to expand upon???

anyway hope i made some sense

what do u think about people whining when you change a character too much in a fic? it’s fanfiction after all, i don’t want my silly cringey fics to be canon, but i’m scared to write for a certain character because they’re not into romance in canon and people jump to each others throats because some people write fiction about them and others say its implied not canon.

I have talked about this before (tap here for how I feel about the matter).

but to sum it up, I don’t “think” about people who whine about this, except that they’re entitled, I block them and then I forget about them.

what I do think / what I believe is that writers can write whatever they want. you can write whatever you want. it’s your work, your creation. write it for yourself, it’s so much more fun than writing just to please random strangers on the internet.

[plagueislost]

Hii, for the artist ask game: number 4 and 10 is something I'd love to know :3

i wrote A LOT for this ask, sorry! i wanted to do the questions justice, yknow how it is.

4. piece you wish got more love?

Ive found from experience that original art tends to not do very well on social media, which kind of makes me sad. It's not much of a problem for me (because most of the stuff i post is fanart anyways) but i can't help but think that part of the reason i rarely ever draw original pieces or make OCs is because of the lack of feedback i get on social media. I know tumblr is supposed to be the fandom website, and maybe id have a different experience on another site, but it is disappointing when i post something original that I'm very proud of and it barely manages to get more than 20 notes, whereas something i like less easily surpasses 100 just because of the tags i put on it. i think the most recent example of this is this piece, which admittedly did get quite a few notes for an original piece, but definitely would have gotten more had it been fanart of the same caliber. this is also not to blame anyone or make anyone feel bad about not reblogging original art (god knows im guilty of that too, and art piggybacking off the popularity of other works of art are of course gonna get more notes), its just something ive noticed from my time on social media.

10. how do you deal with artblock?

i dont get art block very often, but when i do, its ANNOYING. it mostly manifests in me having a bunch of motivation for a part of my process that i cant get to without doing the stuff i have no desire to do (does that make any sense?). like, ill have a strong urge to render an artwork, but no ongoing WIPs that are at that stage, meaning i would have to sketch and color and shade a whole new piece before i could satiate that urge, or do the steps out of order which could mess up the flow and end look of a project. when i get like this, i find its best to try and translate those desires into different activities and take a step away from art. for example:

if i want to sketch, but nothing comes out right digitally, ill find a scrap piece of paper and a crappy pen and make thumbnails until i cant think of any other iterations of the ideas in my head. if one of them turns out good, ill take a picture and transfer it into my software, but only go over it a day or so later so i can have fresh eyes.

if i want to color, but i have no sketches currently ready for coloring, ill go into my photo editing program, find some random old photos that i never edited, and post-process them until i get something im happy with.

if i want to shade, but have no colored artworks ready for that, ill usually do a study of a photo ive taken, because most of the time me shading is really me wanting to see how light and shadow interact in certain scenarios. i actually did a whole AP portfolio on that because i liked shading and lighting so much!

if i want to render, but ive got no pieces ready for rendering, i find its easiest just to find a tedious activity where i can be a perfectionist but also feel like im the smartest person in the world. this generally turns into me cooking some big meal because its constantly engaging but also not that difficult. i know its probably weird for it to not have anything to do with art but this is just what works best for me, and i get the bonus of a nice meal at the end of it!

if i get the more classic kind of art block where everything sucks and nothing i make is good, i find its best to go back to the media that inspires me to make art, and not worry too much about having made something by the end of it. generally the media that inspires me ends up, well, inspiring me, and i can remind myself that art is a voluntary practice that i do because its fun, not because i want something out of it. if it doesnt manage to inspire me, thats okay, i can just tell myself im taking a break and live life for a bit.

i hope that was helpful, and i really enjoyed answering these questions! if anyone else wants to ask a question, the artist ask game is here.

[aroace-polyshow]

Bsd anon again im gonna be here a few times im having many thoughts- but I think Sin Soukou is so freaking interesting, more interesting than even Soukou or their predecessors that I cant remember the name of (Mori and Fukuzawa) Its just- something about how different they are compared to either, how much that actually affects them, the difference between how they are turning out vs how the previous Soukous turned out, how despite everything, I don't think they ever actually will kill each other. I think its so interesting the change you see with the two, the affect they have on each other compared to the others-- its just so,, interesting- Also, question of the day. Do you think its good that Dazai changed from his Port Mafia ways? With the way he treats Atsushi vs Akutagawa specifically? Do you think there's similarity between the way he treats the two at all? I often find myself thinking about how despite Dazai being better as a person, and trying his hardest to not be a bad mentor, he still ends up giving bad ideals (Thats not the right word but I cant remember the word) to Atsushi. After an attack his slapped Atsushi and told him not to pity himself, despite the fact that he had just been shown some of his worst memories and accidently hurt people he saw as friends, some of the first friends in years. Its not punching him right in the face because he cant put up a shield, no where near that, but its still not a good thing to do. I can accept that Dazai has changed a lot since the port mafia but I think he still has a very long way to go, especially when it comes to being a mentor to both Atsushi and Akutagawa, even tho he seems to messing up a lot less w Atsushi thanhe did w Akutagawa But tbf the only reason I'm thinking about this is cause its always bothered me how Dazais treated Atsushis trauma as more of a,, annoyance than anything?? Like,, idk I'm rambling at its five am lmfao I should stop before I start going off on tangents

MY FUCKING LAPTOP SHUT DOWN AGAIN WHEN I HAD ALREADY WRITTEN SO MUCH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

anyway hello again bsd anon :DDD

about shin soukoku, tbh i really like their dynamic a lot more than soukoku or mori and fukuzawa. not to say i don't like soukoku, if you couldn't tell by what i reblog so often i definitely like them (the same cannot rlly be said about mori and fukuzawa but that's another thing lol), but i really enjoy the sskk dynamic :D they have such cool effects on each other as people and they work so well together in fighting and like i mentioned i think their conflicting views of dazai is also rlly intersting and like hrgahgdhfkjs i like them a lot kjdfsj

then to answer your question, i do think it's good that dazai left the mafia, and i do think he's trying to be better. and he's definetely a lot better than he was in the mafia. i do think he's trying to be a better mentor. but like you said, he still isn't the best at it with atsushi. he's definetely doing a lot better with atsushi than he was with akutagawa, but yeah i do think he fucked up with that slap. atsushi's, yknow traumatized from when he rlly young and he literally just hurt people he cared about who also literally wouldn't fight back. like?? idk man i think there's many much better ways to deal with atsushi spiraling??? my dude??? though i guess dazai wouldn't have experience with it lmao

i get what you mean by it kinda feeling like dazai was treating atsushi's trauma as an annoyance. didn't really like it either. to be fair dazai didn't exactly have like. a good example what to actually do. sdkhfj,,,

he is definitely a better person now though. good for him lol

[evenmorecrows]

hi excuse me i got carried away. these were originally tags but uhhhh it got. long. so into the reblog proper it goes. i ended up just fully describing my modern au.

for the record this is all off the top of my head so its not all entirely fleshed out

origins protags:

hiram amell would be in college to be like. a neurosurgeon and play warhammer with whatever time he can scrounge up. meets loghain there and they beef especially because hiram keeps finding stupid ridiculous ways to beat him when loghain is like. the most decorated player in their community. that guy is a warhammer 40k legend.

i feel like he doesnt have the time or energy to really get fast food enough to have a favorite, ironically. he lives off of tv dinners and the cheapest + strongest coffee he can find.

ive also been turning around the idea of modern hiram having been a foster child to duncan (this doesnt really come up here but i do imagine duncan being a military veteran) in his later teens which is what gives him the financial ability to actually pursue college. meets alistair that way who was also taken in as a foster and then officially adopted a year before hiram entered the picture. i dont know if i want duncan to die early on i want these boys to have a dad.....

anyway alistair and hiram are probably roommates while hirams in college? idk if alistair would be in college too. maybe try it bc of the expectation but end up having to drop out? hm.

gunnr brosca is younger daughter to her norwegian immigrant mother who came to america for a man only to be left when she became pregnant with rica. this began their mothers downward spiral into both poverty and alcohol and soon enough there was no chance of her getting home. so both rica and gunnr were born in america.

gunnr works under the table to not bring attention to their family. not always taking legal jobs. really just whatever she could get to keep them afloat despite the hole in their saving from their mothers drinking habits. gunnr feels a lot of disdain towards their mother for the situations she's put them in (put rica in especially) and the life they live

rica does sex work and hopes to marry rich so she can lift them out of poverty. gunnr hates that she has to. hates the men that leer at her sister. pretty 1-to-1 translation of ingame brosca origin.

a job gunnr takes goes wrong and lands her in hot water and her best bet is to take the money she has to her own name and get the hell out of dodge. she doesnt want to leave rica alone but rica encourages her to go.

and so she goes on over to britain. she takes less risky but still under the table jobs from there out because im deciding she somehow got in through criminal means and definitely does not have the papers or documentation to be there. god knows what their mother did with their birth certificates or social security numbers but i think neither gunnr or rica has ever seen hide nor hair of either document so like yknow. gunnr barely exists.

also im calling it that duncan is just not important to gunnr's whole story or existence. if hes there its only by proxy of alistair.

hey speaking of alistair. idk how they meet. something casual like outside a bar or through a friend of a friend of a friend when something like. breaks in the apartment he has w hiram and the landlord wont fix this and one of alistairs friends is like. i know a guy who knows a guy who knows this woman. ill put you in contact. and alistairs like. Ohhhkay. kinda shady but. alright.

she comes over to fix it. he gets himself a little crush almost immediately. shes neutral about him at first but when he kinda stumbles over himself to exchange numbers she teases him like. oh in case this breaks again huh? but is kinda begrudgingly endeared and goes along w it.

strangely enough in this modern au i think hiram and gunnr's influences on alistairs college career (equivalent to the king choice) are swapped from what theyd normally be. hiram would be resistant to alistair quitting college and kinda hammer in duncan's expectations (which i mean i keep mentioning but hes Not gonna like. disown them or something. like hed be disappointed, to varying degrees, but this is something that hangs over hiram like a specter. like it would impact things but hiram kind of makes mountains out of molehills over it. probably because he's felt severely unwanted his entire life and feels that any mistake is The End.) and put the weight on his own shoulders onto alistair in that moment.

(to expand more on that ^ i think hiram holds alistair to the same standards that he feels he himself has to conform to. and it scares him to see alistair consider Not going through the hell of college because it solidifies that as an Option. it give hiram an out, one with consequences, And it leaves him alone in his burden. they patch it up later down the road but needless to say things get Very Turbulent.)

meanwhile gunnr would be like hey listen. you dont need college to make something of yourself. if it sucks hit da bricks. and i think that ultimately wins out and him and hiram have a big falling out because of it and alistair goes to stay with gunnr in her shitty little apartment (? if it could be called that. debatable.)

im not rushing their romance here at this point bc the end of the world isnt upon them so. they have time to just be friends for a while while alistair's squishy feelings grow and gunnr finds herself more and more endeared to him. its absurd to her and she doesnt know What to do with that so she just. acts normal

messes with him a bit more maybe. yknow to do Something. maybe he starts working with her on some jobs. hes not thrilled about that part but work is work. and its not Bad stuff so. i just think hes a bit of a goody-two-shoes and doing things in a Not Super Allowed way makes him squirmy.

also i need zevran to be in here SOMEWHERE for hiram but i honest to god dont know. how. i have to think on it auuugh. they probably meet sometime during him and alistair's falling out. hiram needs someone there for him besides that old man he antagonizes at warhammer and duncan

ok so hiram and morrigan. i have actually thought about this previously and i have notes but i dont want to look at them right now. we're freeballing.

morrigan is a friend he made at a small school he went to with one of his previous foster families (he was shuffled through a lot of homes). she has an abusive mother and hiram becomes really her only friend. everyone else avoids her and if you listened to her shed say 'good' and that she liked it that way but ultimately she is Not immune to being lonely. and she finds genuine companionship in hiram.

soon enough hiram is shuffled out again but he goes through hell and highwater to make sure the two of them stay in touch.

well eventually around the time hiram is preparing to start college morrigan calls him and talks about her mother's pressure for her to have a child and that she thinks she'd actually like to but far Far away from flemeth. she doesnt want her mother having any part in the life of this child. she also asks if hiram would be the one to father it and hes a ride or die kind of friend so he agrees.

they meet up. the event is kinda awkward considering he is gay and neither are attracted in any way sexually to each other but they put in effort and thats sweet in its own right. afterward she tells him that she has to cut contact and that she plans to skip country. she cant tell him where and he knows this. he doesnt ask. he tells her to be safe and good luck. they hug and then she leaves.

a lot of impulsivity on display here but theyre both like 18 so. yknow. also shes lucky this actually Does take. neither of them had enough sex ed to have had it occur to them that one night Might not be enough to conceive a child.

also hiram does not mention this night to anyone for a very long time. no one knows he has a son and most of the time he forgets until he wakes up in a cold sweat with misplaces guilt over being an absent father. anyway

my baby my beloved. renard hawke. he's a farmer who's family had to move to the city after too many years of negative profit and debt.

the farm had been on a decline for a long time, but a few years after the death of malcom hawke, it finally caught up to them.

hawke family tragedy speedrun: bethany dies a bit after they settle into the city in a car crash. im not really sure what happens to carver. he doesnt die. joining the military seems likely. im also not sure what happens to leandra. her being the victim of a serial killer seems a Little bit unlikely but it could still happen. she could also grieve herself to death, the stress finally getting her.

renard is actually the person ive thought about the modern version of the least! so im not settled on a lot for him or his friends.

he ends up with fenris of course. he forms a lot of connections really quickly in the city. hawke in every universe is just a guy ppl gravitate towards. i think him and gunnr would get to be really good friends actually, and through her he'd eventually meet the rest of the origins gang. well besides morrigan, as previously stated shes off and away, and people connected only to hiram would be slower to meet renard until things were better between hiram and alistair. no da2 companion is left out here i just dont have concrete ideas as of right now.

what i DO know. is that he eventually goes missing (here lies the abyss). he doesnt tell anyone that he's going, where he's going. he leaves a six word note for fenris, gets in his car in the dead of night, and drives. the last person on record to have ever seen him is Islanil Lavellan, at a diner in the early hours of the morning. renard and islanil did not know each other prior to that meeting, but varric knows islanil as he works with varric's publishing company.

fenris will not stop until he finds hawke. it doesnt matter how cold the case becomes or how many try to dissuade him, he Will find hawke.

ok thats where im stopping right now because i need to brainstorm the da2 stuff more and i havent actually played inquisition with islanil yet. and i have some ideas for faustus mercar (rook) but i havent finished veilguard yet.

ATTENTION ALL DRAGON AGE PPL!!!

Describe any of your DA OC's as if they were regular modern people.

Favorite songs, fast food they would like, favorite movies etc.

[gagmebucky]

omg bestie valb3rry just deleted their blog

IM… god what the FUCK - like im not gonna lie, im very unsure about things but this is definitive proof they were both blogs. so they really did see how broken up and hurt and upset i was finding this out, pretended like they empathy and remorse for what they did only to stamp my foot and spit in my face and do it again. they really did take advantage of my kindness and turned me into a fool.

and like the worse thing is when they initially plagiarized me, i remember thinking that after the dust settled in that moment, i wasn’t going to talk about it further or call them any nasty names because while i was extremely upset, i didn’t want them to feel that anxiety of wondering if people were publicly talking shit about you (even if that person deserved it/i had the right to). i wasn’t rude or nasty, i think considering the situation i was very nice? and they go back and do it again - to the same fucking FIC, the same one they knew i talked about having difficulty writing and being so self critical over it. i genuinely cannot get over what kind of person does something like this.

and another thing is i don’t understand how you can plagiarize someone else and get clout off of it and feel even somewhat satisfied - it’s like you didn’t earn that, they aren’t praising you because they like your writing, they’re praising you because you copied someone else���s.

and yknow what, because i am legitimately angry right now let me tell you guys that when they first apologized, it wasn’t to me. they IM’ed their apology to kat @angel-fire about how “sorry” they were for plagiarizing her when they damn well KNEW it wasn’t her fic and i know they knew that because *i* @‘ed them — how do you get angel-fire from gagmebucky? and when kat was like ??? i’m not the fic writer you copied, q was, they copied and pasted the apology in my inbox and wanted to keep the matter “private” despite the fact what they did was public.

after i told them i wouldn’t accept an apology unless it was public, they posted it, specified that no one could reblog it but me THEN privated the post after i reblogged it, they then answered a bunch of asks unrelated to the subject and went on as usual until me and several other people realized the post couldn’t be found (an anon sent me a message asking where the post was and i checked, kat checked, and several anons also checked). once they had a flood of unrelated posts and we realized what they did, they public’ed the post so that it seemed like they actually kept it up.

and admittedly these should’ve been red flags but i really didn’t want to think that this person was that self-preoccupied that they’d see how they hurt someone and try some shady shit like that after appearing so remorseful. ngl i did realize i got played that first time but i honestly was too scared and idk wanted to believe i was being paranoid to say anything about it. but, damn, this second time feels so fucking personal and malicious that im just in shock. and i can’t lie, i am a lil relieved they deleted and that this is coming to light.

*also, if ANYONE finds themselves plagiarized by someone else, let me know and i will signal boost that shit to the high heavens though i do hope no one does have this happen to them

[hotwings0203]

Okay idk wtf this is too but I’m bored at work so lemme do smthn rq.

Songs That Inspire My Works

Scary Yandere Songs:

Mezzanine-the song is sung is a very gritted-teeth type of way. Almost like the yandere is sitting in a dark room on a chair, just staring at a picture of the darling or mindlessly watching tv, positively seething about how giddy and happy she is. There’s one part of the song that goes “All these half floors will lead to mine” and it just makes me think of him basically saying that he’s gonna make her fall off her high horse and succumb to his level. Very Shigaraki vibes for a happy bubbly girl.

Still- verrryyy crazy drunk shigaraki vibes. The song was actually based on the lead singer who played with bones on a train track when he was younger. When the lyrics say “follow me into the trees, I will lead the way” that line gives me chills

Maidaiz-any generic yandere tbh, usually Dabi-actually, maybe Hawks cuz the voice is so smooth and buttery, and he’s singing about a chained girl surrounded by jewels and pearls. Idk it kinda fueled my Gilded Cage fic cuz he showered her with all this money and she still was just a captive at the end of the day

Dangerous- reminds me of kuroiro and tamaki sometimes, nothing too big here, just the reader feeling like they’re being watched by an unseen force

Kilmaa- OOOO now this is a good one cuz the whole music video and song itself is about a girl kidnapped into sex slavery basically and breaking out. In the video the girl is captured by this big powerful business man/mafia type guy, and at the end of all her trauma she stabs the guy and k/lls him. I’m thinking maybe hawks or dabi cuz yknow, big scary powerful guy gets his share of dues or whatever.

In For It- the song isn’t too scary on its own but just the slow kind of raspy way Tory Lanez sings makes me think of a darling in a club and is just dancing around when she sees maybe Bakugo staring her down all menacingly and lustful. She gets nervous and tries to avoid eye contact, but at the end of the song when it gets deeper and slower at the “I’m so offended” part, it makes me imagine he gets up and starts going after her.

Angst or Fluff

Turning Page-maybe makes me think of shigaraki or tamaki, very soft boys on the inside (and out for tamaki), like they start watching you out of the corner of their eyes unconsciously to catch you smiling or laughing. One of my fav lines is in there, “Your love was my turning page/where only the sweetest words were made” and idk it just makes me all mushy and soft

American Girls and French Kiss- I wrote a dabixhawks fic a while back, not one of my most popular pieces but I still had fun writing it. It was before 290 came out and everyone thought dabi knew who hawks was cuz of the childhood friends theory, and this song was kind of like a “fuck you im fine but not” vibe that went along with the angst potential of that side

Hold On Till May- this one I feel like can be used for dabi or shigaraki and their backstories. The song itself is about one of Vince’s ex gfs who was abused at home and would run away and wait for her parents to come find her(spoiler alert-they would never care enough to go after her). So I think in terms of backstories and exploring that part with the darling or character, you could take it both ways-either the guy is singing to the girl that it will all be okay, and that even though they’re both broken he’ll try for her. OR if it’s from the darling’s POV she could be saying like even though the character (Dabi or shiggy) have had a rough life shes there for them now.

Berenstein- super angsty song, reminds me of my ex tbh. Berenstein refers to (if I remember correctly) a memory shared by others even though the memory didn’t actually happen. I always think of this whenever there’s an ending where the character has to leave the reader and one day just reminisces about what they had. It’s like in the end they’ll move on and their lives don’t really change in terms of lifestyle of daily activities, but if they think back far enough, they can catch a glimpse of someone who used to be their everyhting. Very much dabi and shig.

Stay With Me- bakugo vibes, it’s like two ppl fighting and telling each other that the other was the one who left, but ultimately it doesn’t matter because he just wants them back and to not leave.

102- a lot of the 1975 songs get me in my feels (which is a tragedy cuz Matty Healy is islamophobic as fuck) and this one is another one. Major Dabi or Kirishima vibes, the song is about being friends and in love with a girl who is in love with someone else. It’s like you don’t know what to do with yourself and all that love you have for her

Anyways yeah if any of y’all wanna chime in w ur own fic song recommendations just reblog and continue this ig?? Tag people, or not lol just read all of this bs and have fun w it🤷🏽‍♀️

[laddumb]

OMORI SPOILERS, but it accidentally turned into a long appreciation thread for the game and fandom??

[TLDR] I am very greatful for this community and the game because it pretty much got my life back on track ♡

Anyways thinking about how in the "netural" ending when basil yknow, uses the garden sheers on himself, sunny decides that nothing is there

Sometimes i wonder if sunny really still cared for basil or not, but thinking about it now

He did

He still cared for everyone.

In his mind basil was still his best friend, and to see his best friend do that

Fuck man

Omori hurts bad

Whenever i sit here and think about the little things

The slight details that i missed in febuary

Theyre all so

Hurtful

So greatful that i found out about this game man, it means so much to me, before Omori i spent all day miserable thinking about the same thing that upsets me so much but

Omori gave me something new to think about, something that wasnt distracting because it made me sad or someones life was at stake, but because it made me happy

I finally have the motivation to draw and animate again, and sure the bad things are still on my mind all day but, i see an omori video or meme or fanart or just think about the game and the bad thoughts are completely lost for a moment

I could talk about this game for hours on end, truly

And Basil man, ive never related to a character so well, its so nice seeing someone whos like me, even if its fictional

Its like nobody understands me as a person but if Basil were here, he would because he IS that person

Ik it sounds corny, but its 5 AM and im in a strange mood, no, more like a greatful mood

I think im starting to be happy with the things in my life, and that happiness started because of Omori. And fuck yeah this fandom is amazing, a majority are great people, you guys make beautiful art and animations, hilarous memes, cool ass fanfics, all the good shit

Its stupid, i know, to say a video game is whats picking my life back up, but ive felt so fucking terrible for over a year and finally, finally im starting to be okay again

Its not just omori of course, but i can thank omori for being the reason i started appreciating the things i had more, and loving my people more, i spend time with my family now, i dont just sit in my room miserable all day. I sound like an idiot huh

Idk man im just rambling

Rambling my thoughts onto this silly app and like 10 people will see this and read it through

Idek how this post got to this point, i just wanted to talk about a little detail i noticed

Idk man, this game will likely forever be my number one, maybe im wrong but, right now, where im at, this game is like motivation for me

Thank you Omocat for creating this game, thank you everyone who donated and made the games creation possible, thank you to a majority of the fandom (excluding the ppl who would look at or make r34, blame basil, and argue over ships aside from the hero x anyone but mari and the sibling ships cuz wtf?? Why would u ship siblings or hero with the friend group??) Because truth be told, with how small this fandom is, its like every day i have new fanart to look forward to

Just off the top of my head, ginumo and tabdood i owe you 2 a lot <3 U two are one of the main reasons i stayed in the fandom at the beginning and i look forward to every piece of art you guys make, so thank you

Theres others but im bad with names

Not just them tho, every piece of fanart i see, i love it

I love beginner artists making fanart because fuck yeah its so sweet, and one day they'll look back at it, thats where they started, and they'll want to revisit omori, and all the artists that have been drawing for years and years making omori art, YEAAH MAN EVERY FANARTIST BRUH <3

I love all of you, every creator in this fandom, yeah im talking about you

What you just made one drawing?? Oh u just discuss the game?? FUCK YEAH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE GAME !! THAT ONE PIECE OF FANART IS GOLDEN BRO !!

Dont get me started on the comics yall make

Even the people who like or reblog, yall keeping the fanartists and discussors going bro

Love yall

Everyone of yall

Goodnight ♡

[wolfboyvirus]

ok originally i was gonna reblog this with some tags and thats it but i kept going and i feared i would hit the tag limit, so, reblogging with my thoughts in the actual post this time! hopefully i don't ramble away too much.

basically i agree with most of this post but i just wanna add more details because im a nerd.

i think, the mix of data they use collectively as their memories, would consist namely of environmental scans instead of videos (similar to Connor's reconstruction and Markus's deconstruction), and digital audio samples (think like, waveforms). both of these can be turned into something for human processing as needed; the pure data from scans can be compiled into a visual, and the audio samples can be converted into an actual recording you can hear- which is actually how audio works normally irl! i only learned that bc of this post fhfjhkd

additionally, there would be a lot of other less important things that could be generated, saved, or linked back to different data. for example, the audio transcripts mentioned in the original post, as well as visual transcripts, both generated based on the initial scans and audio samples. lidar scans, also already mentioned in the original post. "links" redirecting back to personnel files that the android already has saved, instead of generating new ones for the same person every single second in each memory. catalogues of their system status, objectives, etc. and of course the date/time. prolly a ton of other shit im not thinking of too.

also, of course, i think androids would prioritize the actually important parts of their memories in this way, using some kind of algorithm to sort out what's "significant" and what isn't, and the rest would be compressed as small as possible, possibly sent into cloud storage instead of local storage. for example, with Markus. the memory of the junkyard would be very readily available, because that was a life changing and traumatic moment for him, whereas he would need to go through a bit more retrieving and processing to remember a random day years ago with carl, where neither of them really did anything of note. easy access when needed, but it doesn't take up the android's space when they don't need it, and in the full memory's place you'd likely have a much smaller bit of data that would essentially be a summary. so the android isn't left with a complete blank space. though, that does bring up an issue of deviants being tracked through that information transfer into, presumably, cyberlife servers. nnnnot actually sure what to do about that part, really? if someone does lmk

a particular concept im not really seeing is the idea of an android like... capturing moments fully in a picture or video clip, and then basically remaking the full memory with information from that, like ai generated videos in real life. because that would make it just as fallible as human memory, since it has the opportunity to remake the memory in a way that isn't actually completely accurate, no matter how insignificant the minuscule details really are. which, can be okay, its technically completely functional this way. but i have a feeling elijah cyberlife would have higher standards than that, yknow? the way i see it, its a lot more like.. a mix of motion tracking animation (ironic), lidar, and... some form of color mapping. a lot of laser scanning involved basically. im actually not sure if that would be better or worse as far as storage goes though; I can't seem to find anything about it online, as most people irl are focused less on the size of the files and more that scans can offer accurate 3d renders while videos can't. scanners seem heavily used by law enforcement in particular to scan crime scenes. hell, i think hank was seen using a handheld one during the carlos ortiz chapter, he was using it to scan the stab wounds. im just gonna assume its worth it??

went slightly off topic sorry, anyways

one thing im still kinda trying to figure out is the glitchiness of the memories we see in-game. if retrieving memories is basically just remaking a 3d animation using various saved components, then, the glitchiness just doesnt make much sense?? it could be the compression of a specific component involved, likely the colors, because iirc all the android memories are extremely desaturated as well.

i think thats everything i had to say actually, i didn't have many new ideas to contribute now that im reading back but. shrug. idk this is fun to think about!! cool post op :]

I don't think androids store memories as videos or that they can even be extracted as ones. Almost, but not exactly.

Firstly, because their memories include other data such as their tactile information, their emotional state, probably 3d markers of their surrounding...a lot of different information. So, their memories are not in a video-format, but some kind of a mix of many things, that may not be as easily separated from each other. I don't think a software necessary to read those types of files are publicly available.

Even if they have some absolute massive storage, filming good-quality videos and storing them is just not an optimal way to use their resources. It's extremely wasteful. I think, instead, their memories consist of snapshots that are taken every once in a while (depending on how much is going on), that consist of compressed version of all their relevant inputs like mentioned above. Like, a snapshot of a LiDAR in a specific moment + heavily compressed photo with additional data about some details that'll later help to upscale it and interpolate from one snapshot into the next one, some audio samples of the voices and transcript of the conversation so that it'd take less storage to save. My main point is, their memories are probably stored in a format that not only doesn't actually contain original video material, but is a product of some extreme compression, and in this case reviewing memories is not like watching HD video footage, but rather an ai restoration of those snapshots. Perhaps it may be eventually converted into some sort of a video readable to human eye, but it would be more of an ai-generated video from specific snapshots with standardised prompts with some parts of the image/audio missing than a perfectly exact video recording.

When Connor extracts video we see that they are a bit glitchy. It may be attributed to some details getting lost during transmission from one android to another, but then we've also got flashbacks with android's own memories, that are just as "glitchy". Which kinda backs up a theory of it being a restoration of some sort of a compressed version rather than original video recording.

Then we've also got that scene where Josh records Markus where it is shown that when he starts to film, his eyes indicate the change that he is not just watching but recording now. Which means that is an option, but not the default. I find it a really nice detail. Like, androids can record videos, but then the people around them can see exactly when they do that, and "be at ease" when they don't. It may be purely a design choice, like that of the loading bar to signalise that something is in progress and not just frozen, or mandatory shutter sound effect on smartphones cameras in Japan.

So, yeah. Androids purpose is to correctly interpret their inputs and store relevant information about it in their long term memory, and not necessarily to record every present moment in a video-archive that will likely never be seen by a human and reviewed as a pure video footage again. If it happened to be needed to be seen — it'll be restored as a "video" file, but this video won't be an actual video recording unless android was specifically set to record mode.

[undeniablycandycane]

I swear to god, I just wanna find some Actual resources for how to live healthy WITHOUT the "fat-eliminating" bullshit. Like an ad will show up and it'll be like "ok here's a healthy recipe/workout/etc" and I'll be like "I'm listening" and then it'll be like "burns 20 pounds of fat in 2 weeks!" And I immediately click skip ad because listen, I know there's a certain threshold for when fat starts to become unhealthy but watching these stick figure people show a picture of them having a perfectly healthy layer of fat beforehand and then they get rid of that? That shit does not get me fam. Like I'm listening for *health* reasons and I'm not trying to sit here and look pretty for someone's bullshit standard of beauty because 9 times out of 10 all they're doing is trying to make money off of poor souls who either think it must be healthy to have a 30 inch waist or hate themselves for being overweight.

Like there are much much more direct and important health things you can do than just losing like 20 or 40 or however many pounds. I'm actually proud of my body and the amount of people that want me to fit into a stupid mold is disgusting. Not to mention the very specific targeted ads I get after mentioning the word "fat" or whatever in a voice chat DESPITE me turning off g***le's ad personalization multiple times and having it turned back on apparently without my permission. FUCK companies that pull that shit.

I'm just pissed man. I wanna be healthy and I'm trying to like, cut down on the important shit like sugar and cholesterol, shit that could hurt me down the line, and hoping to get some cardio in to keep my heart healthy? If I lose weight along the way then whatever man, it shouldn't bother me too much. I'm just sick of "health" bullshit that is pushed by pseudoscience and anti-v**xers and shit like that and...

Man I just wanna.. idk im tired and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way

Ofc that said people who do legit wanna lose weight and stuff thats fine as long as you do it in a healthy and safe way! Im not hating on that trust me I just want people who aren't interested in that to be able to exist in peace yknow

Do n0t reblog please; replies are fine <3

[volgotha]

Holy shit I just read your text post I'm so sorry! How are people so easily sold on bullshit??? What happened that lead up to all that?

Okay, strap yourself in. I’m only typing this mess up once more and then I’m never mentioning it again as long as I live. I’m not going to tag it with anything relevant either so once its posted, i’m letting it get lost in the sea of reblogs. Here we go, warning; this is gon be long.

In 2006 I went to college. From 2006 to 2009 I hung out with 5 friends and my bf at the time, Andre. It was in 2007 that we started to poke our heads into the 2C11 room (the clubspace room). Matt and his best friend Jogn Carlo started coming with us to Rocky Horror, a thing only myself and two of my 5 friends would do together, along with ppl they knew from their old highschool. By 2009, we had formed a big gang of friends from the clubspace, and we all started going to movies and sushi together. One of my friends organize panels for Otakuthon, where we’d all meet up.      

But in 2009, two of the 5 ppl I hung out with had a falling out. They stopped being friends. One went to university, the other was around for one more year then she went to university in 2010. That’s when the old group began to change from a family to a clique: In 2010 new members joined the club, and became new staples in the old group–most importantly, a guy named Tin.

It used to feel like a big family, but when the new semester started in September 2010 and new members flooded the club, everything changed. Tin instantly gave me a strange feeling in my gut, like there was something off abt him I couldn’t articulate. Shannon was dating Alex, the then club president, who stepped down in disgrace after I and one of those 5 friends went to the student union to complain abt him being the Harvey Weinstein of the club,. He wanted to permanently ban her from the club bc that summer when he was making a shitty youtube movie, he asked her out and she said no. The only reason he stepped down is bc I helped her take it to the student union and took him down. So when 2010 came along, Tin swooped in and became Alex 2.0, and when I warned ppl abt him they didn’t listen.

Fast forward a year to 2011, and the shitstorm happens; My mom had bvee battling with cancer since 2009. She had a hysterectomy but it didn’t work, and the cancer came back with a vengance.

January 15th 2011: My mom comes into my room and tells me her doctor doesn’t give her 1 year left to live. A few minutes after she leaves my room, Tin talks to me on Steam. He starts trolling me, I exploded on him. I felt bad about it so I tried to apologise to him, and I wrote on my facebook wall a message: “Just found out my mom has a year left to live, not in my right head, plz stay away from me for a while” so i wouldn’t explode on anyone else. I said I tried to apologise to Tin on steam, because him being an abujsive sociopath, instead of just accepting the apology or not like a normal person, instead he starts demanding that i admit to being a shitdisturber. I ignore him at that point, tell him im sorry, wish him good night and then sign off steam, and go to bed.

The following day, Shannon heads me off as I’m in the 2C11 hallway heading to the clubspace room; she warns me that Kelly is having a shit fit and screaming about how much of a horrible person I am, that apparently Kelly thinks my facebook post is me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I run to confront her, because excuse me, no it fucking wasn’t yknow? and whatever trauma she hasn;’t resolved yet doesn’t give her the right to twist my meanings and paint me as a monster. Thats when she goes into the Oliver’s caf so I follow her, and she screams at me calls me pathetic and heads back into the clubspace, and everyone followed her and left me in the caf crying with Shannon and Alex. :/

The situation was made ten times worse later that night by a certain person named Mathew, remember him? He was supposed to be my friend. Instead, he took the opportunity to write a huge post on fb tearing me down, on which everyone else joined in taking a public jab at me. Matt was seen as the community leader at the time. He could have used his power to calm the situation down, instead he made things worse. To this day, I suspect that troll Tin is the one who twisted my words to trigger Kelly and cause all of this, and that he also had Matt in the palm of his hand, but i digress; Matt’s post convinced most of them to ditch me. That devastated me in an already overwhelmed state, and I attempted suicide a few nights later.

That summer, I saw that my former friends were all having a big party, “What Killed the Dinosaurs? The Bad Movie Night.”, and I wasn’t invited. Shannon saw how much it hurt me, so she invited to her bf’s party instead, and that’s where I met Paul.

The following school year of 2011-2012 went by without much incident. The people who had ghosted me slowly added me back, Matt even apologized for his shit, and things seemed to be on the up and up. It looked like all this drama was behind us. I was wrong.

After I graduated, I decided to go visit the club in Fall 2012. Big mistake.

I saw someone I knew, Sarah, crying on someone’s lap, and asked her what was up. She told me she was in an abusive relationship with Tin. For giving her the advice to leave him, Tin came at me on steam again, and I told him that he was an abuser, that he would not intimidate me and to go fuck himself, and I blocked him. Suddenly, Matt was trying to extort 100$ from me for 2 locks I had broken the year before, which should’ve only cost 42$. Where did that come from? Well, Tin was the club’s Treasurer that year. He was trying to get back at me for standing up to him and helping his victim escape, and he was doing it through Matt, who was going apeshit on me on MSN for refusing to pay 100$. I insisted I should only have to pay what I owe, which was 42$. He kept freaking out on me, so finally I threatened to get a lawyer involved, and that’s when he backed down. I still paid the money I owed for the locks I had broken but I blocked Matt, having had enough of his bullshit, and that’s when suddenly a bunch of ppl from the group ghosted me for good.

Why was I ghosted when Matt was clearly the one in the wrong? Because Tin. They ghosted me bc Tin told them to. Tin and Matt told them all sorts of shitty things about me and they believed them. They don’t hold Tin or Matt to any of their shitty actions though bc they don’t want the same abuse that happened to me to happen to them. They turn a blind eye to every shitty thing Tin and Matt do. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand there’s an extremely toxic abuse dynamic at play in that group.

But the story doesn’t end there. Remember that party I went to with Shannon, and that guy I met named Paul? From november 2011 to march 2015 we were together. I was isolated from whoever was left, only hung out with him and his friends. In 2014, I became close friends with a girl name d Ariel, a member of that old groiup who ghosted me. But that was probably a manufactured relationship manipulated into existance by Paul, so he could jump to her when he was done with me.

Paul was extremely abusive when no one was around. The night he left, we had a huge fight. I tried to escape the situation by running upstairs. He chased me and when I ran into my TV room and closed the door behind me, he started pounding on it and trying to push his way in. When he did manage to get through the door, I panicked, picked up a glass bottle and threw it at him, and then slammed the door again when he backed out. The bottle broke, and cut his finger very deep. He used that cut to get everyone present during the situation on his side. Nevermind all the crazy abusive stuff he had just pulled in front of them, no, I was the bad guy, and once he had them convinced, he left to my then bff’s house, who later became his new gf.

He posted a picture of the wound on facebook, and because of that and previous drama from years ago that never really went away, most of the friends I had left from Dawson believed him, and ghosted me. I couldn’t tell them that a week earlier he had raped me, and that’s why I was scared enough to throw that glass bottle at him.I filed a police report, I warned everyone who would listen to me about him, and I warned her. I did all I could.

 I was too scared to tell this story for such a long time, because if asking for understanding while my mom was dying was twisted into me using my mom as an excuse to get away with being a bitch, then asking for understanding for the outbursts I had after being raped would just be twisted into me using my rape as an excuse to get away with being a bitch. I couldn’t handle the idea of my rape being trivialized as just some excuse–and Mathew is in part responsible for it all, because of that fucking post he made publicly tearing me down. Had he not posted that, I would’ve never lost my support system, I would’ve never gone to that party with Shannon, and I would’ve never been raped.

So I spent the better parts of 2016-2018 telling those involved off for their part in my current situation and blocked them, and the rest rebuilding what I had back in 2009, with resounding success. 

So, there you have it. That’s what happened. Fuuuuuuuucking insane isn’t it. Its over now, none of them can hurt me anymore and Ive once again surrounded myself with friends I can actually trust, so everything’s good now. I still have my low days bc this was yknow, a lot, but I’m doing much, muuuuch better now. 

[rubbertig]

caught up w dungeon meshi ooooughhhh hohhh IM GONNA GO OFF ABOUT STUFF SORRY SORRY dungeon meshi spoilers !!

want to say first off thing i wanna ramble is yaad and the rest of the old kingdom..

cause yeah no marcille is prob totally right that they arent turning to dust cos the the dungeon border broke and spilled out.

like remember they turn to dust cos of the crossing the border. before recent events, the dungeon held all the "magic" from the winged lion. it was stuck in there only. so of course they would turn to dust past it.

the flashbacks further clear up things

dungeon was like a space the winged lion existence was trapped within in a sense. before that it seemed their "power" was more unlimited. like they say in this chapter the world became/was an extension.

so yknow. stands to reason breaking the border and having the winged lion all leak out would mean than now the old kingdom should not turn to dust.

HOWEVER HOWEVER

marcile also brings up the point:

like she said earlier we can assume that effects of dungeon arent gonna dissipate right away despite the winged lion being "gone"

like yknow like a side affect

but then why did the dungeon collapse more suddenly. i think i understand why. but im not sure how to word it right now. but i think it important to think about want the dungeon was.

either way. the lion's influence slowly dissipating over time?? hoh??? now that interesting?? how that'll affect the old kingdom ppl and the dungeon monsters. just HRM...

ANYWAY thats that about that.

I ALSO wanted to talk about Laios right now cause. Aheem.

it is no surprise to me that he feels like this.

i mean he did just give into his darkest desires in such a big exposed way. the winged lion was correct in many ways about laios during their big conversation in Winged Lion III

like ive said before, its easy to peg laios as just a silly weirdo with a silly monsters obsession but it was never actually just a silly thing. it was always this open peephole into someone with a very concerning relationship with humanity.

he lived a miserable life alienated from other people. laios was a man who ultimately did not want to deal with humanity anymore. so he latched onto monsters instead in escapism.

a part of laios really did prefer monsters over people.

and THIS has been a major thing in laios' arc throughout the whole manga. this is a manga about desire in many ways. how ppls desires can be selfish, complex, and dark. and laios has been lead by his from the start...

BUT in his journey he has developed genuine connections with others and it has reflected change in that complicated humanity of his. And that has become his conflict.

The part of him still attached to the humanity that has become meaningful to him. His sister. His friends. The vulnerable part that still wants it all.

vs

The part of him that honestly still feels like throwing humanity away. Not bother with all the struggle of it all. Give into the ultimate escapism.

Because isnt that what ultimately the Winged Lion provided to humanity? It is literally the magic being you daydream about that will just poof make u free and fulfilled.

But thats not it works. Blinds you from reality. From actually dealing with things. I think Laios finally realized this.

Laios decided to literally eat his escapism away. Let go.

But to have gotten to that point he still first had given in. And Falin's fate is more uncertain.

Thank god for everyone like "Fuck you! We still care about you!" when they found him... Dude's prob feeling immense guilt.

ANWAY IM DONE IVE WRITTEN THIS IN A HAZE ITS 6AM AND IM EMBARRASSED SO U CANT REBLOG THIS BUT U CAN REPLY OR WHATEVER AA

[actualbird]

If the squip has control of Jeremy's optic nerves, and can stop him from speaking and moving, it therefore has control of most of his brain. Wouldn't that mean that he could just control hormones and keep Jeremy from being horny, or keep him from porn altogether, and still keep an exercise regiment, and not have to shock Jeremy? IDK much bout science and tech, but wouldnt that make the shocking useless? Squip is the smartest thing in existence, and therefore itd Kno,so was it for entertainment??

maaaaaan squipspeculation is interesting as fuuuuck and these asks are fascinating, anon. some thoughts on my end:

the old and defective conclusion youve got sounds plausible!! especially since these are squips that seems to be primarily sold to some random high school to really sad teenagers (im extrapolating from the fact that scary stockboy immediately knew that jeremy was gonna buy the squip just from looking at him. the payless seems to have a pretty defined demographic then). in the pre-mitb scene michael says “ever wonder what it’s doing inside you?” after his whole monolog on how advanced squips are and it’s honestly a really good point because squips sound awesome, so why is it in teenagers? and the success rate of squips doesnt seem very good either i.e. that one dude who ended up in the mental hospital, and then rich setting fire to the house. that doesnt look at all like success. the squips being defective is a neat solution. they end up with teenagers because theyre defective also they dont really actually do very well for the same reason.

if the squips werent defective, i can only speculate that the squip’s predictive factor is limited. it says itself in the script with “I must account for human error” but then again human error is ridiculously hard to predict. this goes for both external humans and the host maybe. 

then concerning whether or not the squip can control hormones, thats horrifying damn. but also. probably canon. working only on canon, the control of the squip extends to input senses (optic nerve blocking), movement (do you wanna hang), and pheromones (a guy that i’d kinda be into). brainwise, thats like a bunch of lobes or smthing and the hypothalamus down as Controllable for the squip. i dont know much about brains but there seems to be a lot thats still left uncontrolled yknow. i feel like free will and emotions is one of those things that are very Very hard to control, and so it constantly mucks up a squip’s perfect plans. 

concerning AIs, something i only know like uhhh 2% about, this post i recently reblogged comes to mind when you talk about the squip being the smartest thing existence. because. i dont think it is. im working on the assumption that a squip is a program designed to achieve a certain input goal. this post basically talks about algorithms that, when given a goal, find unorthodox ways to achieve that way. one part specifically cites examples of something fantastically called Destructive Problem Solving:

“Something as apparently benign as a list-sorting algorithm could also solve problems in rather innocently sinister ways.

Well, it’s not unsorted: For example, there was an algorithm that was supposed to sort a list of numbers. Instead, it learned to delete the list, so that it was no longer technically unsorted.

Solving the Kobayashi Maru test: Another algorithm was supposed to minimize the difference between its own answers and the correct answers. It found where the answers were stored and deleted them, so it would get a perfect score.

How to win at tic-tac-toe: In another beautiful example, in 1997 some programmers built algorithms that could play tic-tac-toe remotely against each other on an infinitely large board. One programmer, rather than designing their algorithm’s strategy, let it evolve its own approach. Surprisingly, the algorithm suddenly began winning all its games. It turned out that the algorithm’s strategy was to place its move very, very far away, so that when its opponent’s computer tried to simulate the new greatly-expanded board, the huge gameboard would cause it to run out of memory and crash, forfeiting the game.”

this entire bit gives off huge squip vibes. like literally just like:

jeremy wants to be popular -> if the entire student body is squipped he will definitely be popular. what do you mean mental health? that wasnt put into the parameters of the input goal. LET’S GET SQUIPPIN’. 

and, hey, in the end, jeremy did actually get popular and the girl of his dreams. so was the squip really defeated or was this all just one really bad (or good, depending on who you ask) case of Destructive Problem Solving?

i dont really remember what my point was with this answer. anyway, i hope somebody finds this interesting dfkjdfhkds. have a nice day anon!!!

[theacedumbass]

I posted 27,763 times in 2021

300 posts created (1%)

27463 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 91.5 posts.

I added 957 tags in 2021

#reblog - 222 posts

#i open my mouth and words fall out - 179 posts

#swtor - 160 posts

#star wars - 120 posts

#save - 59 posts

#legendary post - 56 posts

#skyrim - 54 posts

#the old republic - 39 posts

#lana beniko - 37 posts

#jedi knight - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like an itty bitty rodent warrior posed in their sacred tomb surrounded honorably by the weapons that will carry them safely into the after

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Arn: So, you work closely with a Sith Lord? Th-that must be hard. Is she mean?

Carlgar (Outlander): Ah yes, Lana Beniko, the big bad Sith Lord who make sure we don’t over work ourselves and constantly checks in on everyone’s mental health. My sister in law, who brings homemade food to every Alliance meeting, that Lana Beniko?

Arn: Y-yeah

Carlgar: She’s horrifying

*Later*

Lana: You told Arn I was horrifying?

Carlgar: Yeah

Lana, in tears: Thank you!

119 notes • Posted 2021-02-22 03:13:25 GMT

#4

Yknow sometimes i wonder why I stay inside and focus on video games. Then i look at the world and am violently reminded.

123 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 15:11:21 GMT

#3

Ok so i have this headcanon au thing where the Outlander can see Valkorion’s ghost at all times and they’re the only one who can see him. I personally love think Valkorion would do everything in his power to distract the Outlander, and he takes it to the extreme. What i mean by that is doing the most distracting, extra things he can manage.

This leads to the Commander often seemingly just staring into nothing with looking completely baffled. You can see how this would lead to some interesting dialogue

———————————————————————

Lana: Are you alright Commander?

The Outlander: *in horror* Lana, when I tell you Valkorion is doing the Macarena while signing at the top of his lungs, i am telling you...

———————————————————————

Valkorion: *T posing over the Commander’s bed*

Outlander: *just waking up* yawn, good morinin- WHAT THE FUCK

Outlander’s S.O.: o.0

———————————————————————

*In the War Room*

Outlander: *with a look of pure dread on their face*

Theron: Oh god, what’s he doing this time

Outlander: Pole dancing on the main holo projector

Theron: You’re serious?

Outlander: This is easily the least stupid thing he’s ever done

———————————————————————

What I’m saying here is that Valkorion didn’t try and distract the Commander enough, we got 1 or 2 interactions with him actively trying to fuck with the Commander (yes he did things behind the scenes, thats not the point) and this is a way for it to be funny and actively tire them out.

Feel free to add onto this post and please tag me if you use this in some incorrect quotes, id love to see them

219 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 15:42:07 GMT

#2

Imagine Arcan first getting on Oddesen and expecting a very professional, composed, respectable organization, because what else could stand up against the entire Eternal Empire?

He is, understandably, shocked when he sees:

Gault chasing after Vette after she cheats at Sabacc (the poker equivalent)

Hylo getting high

Senya and Koth argue about everything

Theron, Lana, and the Outlander drinking their asses off

Aric and Quinn taking turns trying to shoot a specific leaf off one of the trees

Kaliyo and SCORPIO trying to sass each other to death

Arcan soon realizes that the Eternal Alliance is not a government or military organization, they are one, very large, very chaotic family.

290 notes • Posted 2021-01-30 03:02:13 GMT

#1

Im sorry but i CANNOT be the only one who wholeheartedly believes that every one of the class crews from SWTOR are their own little found familes. Like,,, think about it, they all grow to (minus like Skage bc he is just a dick to everyone in every way) to be super close and all just watch holomovies together when they arent busy saving (or destroying) the galaxy.

Imagine the Jedi Knight crew just flopping down on the ships couch after killing Valkorion (or however you spell Viteate) and turning on the dumbest holomovie they can find, and just watching the hell outta it.

Imagine the Consular crew sitting down around a campfire and roasting marshmallows! And the Consular using the force to make theirs get perfectly roasted, and Qyzen always having his drop into the fire.

Give me the Havoc Squad getting together to cook a large meal so they can have something other than rations (eww) and enjoying it now matter how it tastes. Elara surprising everyone with her ability to cook well. Aric making traditional Cathar dishes!

Smuggler’s crew playing pranks on Republic offials and each other. Give me Risha using her status as a Queen to get them outta trouble if and when they get caught. Akaavi using Bowdaar as cover if they’re having a snowball fight.

Vette and Pierce annoying the absolute hell outta Quinn in the Warriors crew. Vette snd LS Jaesa being besties! Jaesa using the force to steal Vettes food as a joke. Broonmark being the absolute god of snowball fights and hide n seek.

Andronikos treating Ashara as his daughter, and Ashara seeing him as a father figure. Xalek opening up and being the funniest motherfucker. Andronikos teaching Talos how to aim better and Talos teaching Andronikos about the artifacts he,, uhh,, aquired.

Vector making the best food because of his hive mind with the other Kiliks. Lokin and Raina being like a father and daughter (yes this a common theme, let me have this). Kaliyo and SCORPIO roasting each other for hours.

The Bounty Hunter crew going to Nar Shadda or a club and judging peoples out fits while eating take out. Torian teaching the BH traditional Mandalorian recipes and customs. Mako helping Gault make the bounties on him disappear. Blizz learning how to swear!

Lana and Theron being automaticly accepted into the family no matter what class.

The whole Eternal Alliance being like one very large, very powerful family.

354 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 23:50:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[unproduciblesmackdown]

this one for the special club of ppl who have no friends

idk abt yall but even for myself im not sure exactly how long it took me to work out that i was & had been more isolated than the avg person over my life & realizing that the feeling i had since ever being around a group of ppl (preschool) that i couldnt fit in or have more than like, one friend that was mostly defined as “wanted to actually play together at recess or smthing”, was just actually generally true. idk what it is but you know what its like when ppl have some tendency to ignore you. or quietly gain contempt for you because they think you’re weird, which i havent known to stop being true between like 10 yr olds & ppl in their 20s. when ur being talked over even in a group you’re supposed to be in and its like listen. what is going on that this happens so much

anyways when you have no friends its always wild when anyone does show up and actually act like a friend more than like once & show the slightest interest in you as a person. for me though i did have to learn to just not care as much when this happens because its like the sheer math of it all yknow. a person who is used to having like, a more avg number of friends across life is gonna make a friend and be like “oh man awesome” but on the other end of things when u have only a handful of friends and/or little access to friends &/or no close friends, getting a new friend seems way more significant because its like wow this is only 1/18 in my whole life or something. whereas for the other person you are 1/143 idek. not to say that each friend is less important to someone who has more of them. but it is less of a big deal to gain a new one, and a new person theyve just been talking to a bit IS going to be a less important friend

where this is going is just that, never having friends = everyone else being a big deal to you, but you arent a big deal 2 them....a lot of wondering why you always like ppl more than they like you. in my experience its not fun so, with the motivation to stop feeling terrible over that repeated revelation, and also figuring out that its because being so isolated / having few to no Reeeaalll Friends = valuing new friends way more than they value you, rather than just that everyone definitely hates you....i personally have tried to stop caring less about getting the opportunity to talk to new people.

thats not to say i dont enjoy it or value it or like the people i talk to.....i do enjoy it, im a social person in my own way, and i appreciate it when it happens b/c i dont consistently have conversations with anyone. i just don’t get excited abt a potential friendship or expect to ever reach what feels like a real & solid friendship w anyone. i have picked up a few ppl in the past like 5 yrs i do consider friends but its always taken a while to get there.

its kind of funny because like i said i AM kind of social & i do really care about people i get to grow a bit close to.......there is definitely plenty of ppl i dislike right away & have the opposite interest as being friends with them....but when i do like ppl, idk, i like to try to support them and be nice to them and be there for them in the usually tiny ways i can.....i love to talk to people actually. in person when im actually comfortable, i can actually come off a bit overly talkative....i can be energetic when i’m happy & i do have a lot to say about things sometimes but usually only in my head. even typing it out is difficult b/c i can only type so fast, especially with a phone. but in other situations i can have trouble actually getting my voice to come out at all, or i choose not to speak at all b/c i dont want to. or when im frustrated i dont want to talk for a moment but thats generally because there is no one around i want to talk to about it. i can talk abt something for hrs....and it is of course extra special to me b/c i dont get to be around ppl i like talking to them that often

idk and i like to do nice things for friends when i can......i dunno. i do like people. i can be pretty choosy about who i hang on to, i might only have a select group of friends even if i wasnt isolated; but still....theres a lot of people in the world. even being picky about it, you could have a huge friend group

little tangent i dont trust trying to make friends in groups at all really lol.....like even if you’re friends with someone who’s in a bigger friend group. i might cautiously give ppl a chance just b/c of the good endorsement but ive also had bad times w it. and often like, even ppl i all individually like, to be in a group w everyone is to realize that my way of socializing means im a lot of times off on the tangents and it just makes it clear that there’s a whole Thing going on in the middle that you’re not at all involved in. and then there’s ongoing Things that nobody lets you in on and its like alright i guess i’ll do my own thing that nobody’s interested in. idk and its happened that i’ll be in a group and again just like....not be even noticed physically and its like. feels great man

anyways i guess theres general things about Friendship that i feel i miss out on, on account of never experiencing it

like ive never felt like i had someone i’d tell anything to, not even collectively, like i have three Things to tell & maybe i cant tell anyone all three but i know three ppl i’d tell one of each to

ive also never quite felt like i’d always have someone to talk to just in general......or been in the situation where if i wanted to go out and do something w someone i knew i could find someone to go w me.....idk theres never been the feeling that i always had access to friends in any way. or like, ever had access to friends, most of the time at least

i also have no idea....when ppl talk about having longtime friends like known all their life im like wtf. ok. weirdo. ive had a friend for ten seconds

kind of a bummer b/c i think a lot of ppl consider College to be th easiest place to make friends...like before that you mostly have school friends and afterwards its like oh work friends but college you have a bit more mobility and different situations to meet people.....but post-college its supposedly just increasingly difficult to make new friends. and being more isolated makes it even more difficult as ppl tend to ostracize ppl for being lonely weirdos

im always lucky i get to talk on here tbh......it occurs to me it’s probably bad to feel completely unheard. because it frustrates me a lot at times to feel that way. even nowadays i dont really say anything about the stuff i think & dont ever find myself wanting to....im picky about who i really feel like having long or even short but actually genuine convos w like i said...............and idk its not that infrequent too for ppl to seem to not really care one way or the other or listen or even like it when i talk. i only wanna talk in situations i feel good talking obv lol....otherwise i’d rather stay quiet, but staying quiet is frustrating also. but i do it. but i can say things here at least even if i’m not actually talking aloud

i cant expect to ever have this mythical friend group or whatever.....i dont have Expectations like that. and in the meantime ive been lowkey for a few years just trying to lower my expectations even for ppl im just chill-ly talking to. its not that difficult nowadays, i get a bit pumped to just be talking, but i dont get Pumped Abt New Friends or anything. i know it doesnt work like that....and its not like i was ever like, wanting a blood oath after two conversations or anything like that. it just tends to mean more to you and then you find out you dont mean as much to anybody else really

oh but a good silver lining is that now i have better standards for ppl anyway, to be like “well it sucks that it turns out my connection w all these ppl wasnt that solid at all, but hang on now that i think of it do i even Like this or that person”

life is wild huh. back in preschool i thought something was wrong w me that nobody liked me & nowadays i dont care if they do or not. im doing my own thing over here & may be chillin in hell but at least, even if i’m sad i don’t exactly get to consistently interact w ppl, it only matters to me if i get the attention from ppl i genuinely like anyways. i could drop off the face of the planet & probably the biggest giveaway was that i had reblogged a joke in a few days but wtf does that matter anyway. some of us got to be on the tangents still w no friends. not because its necessary but b/c it happens and it has to be someone, might as well be me or you. it happens to be me, thats for sure