#im trying to relax
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oh my god oh my GODDDDDDD the wings covering his eyes!!!!!!!!! the tears!!!!!!!!!!!! the cOLOURS HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL I AM GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING BREAKDOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOARDROOM FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK
HIS HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#no one talk to me no one touch me he’s so fucking gorgeous#the colours are so gorgeous#like just fucking breathtaking#so so so beautiful#also what the FUCK this is heartbreaking!?!?!?!?!?!??????????#i’m gonna sob in the middle of work i swear to god i swear to GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#wow#i’m try in g#im trying to relax#i can’t but i’m TRYING#this definitely made me feel a lil better after the godawful morning i had fuck#inky.sunday#clari: losing her goddamn mind#gonna sob seriously for REALLLLLLL#clari chatters
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if you’re not alternating between two video essays and a podcast as you play endless rounds of spider solitaire are you truly living?
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new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugisaki#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#file name pupys btw bc they r all. pupys#6 pupys in this image#cries eternally u kno the cruel thing is there is no winning fr me when it comes 2 creating art fr this series#i draw them in canon situations i experience pain i draw them in noncanon Relaxed situations i experience pain#illusion of choice.....#regardless i care them so much i would MUCH rather them b in a sunny field with dogs#i will endure the bittersweet feeling of being an audience member n knowing that their reality is nowhere this tranquil#i can dream :'< i can draw :'<#anyway this took a billion years bc i made megumi stand smh#he didnt fight or anything but th overall Composition ws a bit harder 2 navigate because of it#smth smth sizing smth smth planes idk i cant draw#i think it makes sense tho! nobara/yuuji sitting chilling casually rolling a tennis ball fr their puppies#meanwhile megumi Actively trying 2 train his#head in hands god im MISERABLE#anyway this will b available as a print per request if any1 wants 2 b miserable with me
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i thought "fucked up lil guys" style woulld be fun to animate and had this little unfinished Veronica animation since winter
but today i adjisted few things, fixed some frames and i think i dont wanna spend much longer on this haha so here you go
here we have her nurse fit, her punk fit, her singing talent and her Beckoning
#vtm#vamily#vampire the masquerade#toreador#beckoning#animation#my art#im still not super happy with the last transition but i decided to call it finished and let it go haha#also this was my attempt to try be more relaxed and FINALLY animate something for myself#i think i suceced#veronica sugar#my ocs
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once more around the sun!! :3
#mine#cats#happy new year!!! a little late but alas#i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh#i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey#in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me#also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill#i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy#im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares#if i do cute spreads i will share them :3#also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All#but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip#anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese#love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do!#and then did not do that#alas...time escapes me
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my dreams always take place at work its so annoying
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Hiiii :3
Sorry for the inactivity but to be honest I'm really busy with art school. I don't have much time to draw because I've got a lot of work to do currently but I still want to post stuff. So here's some low effort doodles!
Should I just post things like this when I'm too busy for detailed stuff? Genuine question.
Next weekend I'll probably have some more free time so I might post something a bit more nice looking then.
I miss Rasha. And I miss Nerevar. And Morrowind. Gahhh....
#im having a lot of fun at art school#and im actually really enjoying it so far#but it doesnt change the fact that i have lots of stuff to do#ill try to get it done quickly though#i mean i have to but i also just want to get it done and have it out of the way#so that i can relax and draw morrowind..#but im not complaining#art school is fun.#kocham polerowanie blachy. shoutout do polerowania blachy.#morrowind#tes#the elder scrolls#dagoth ur#voryn dagoth#vivec#nerevar#indoril nerevar#nerevarine#tes oc#rashaposting#digital art#muscariart
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Playing around with the color wheel WEEE
#self-indulgent doodles babyyy#mostly a mix of pose studies and chibis#my fave color is green but im rly into pink lately#color palettes based on pride flags btw. except for the last doodle page#gender is like clay. its whatever i want it to be 🫶#half op vash and no op knives are so important to me#love me some relaxed/silly vw. sharing clothes or glasses#SOOOO normal about ww wearing vash's coat :DDD#and vash being comfortable enough to let his wings and feathers out around ww and not cover up his scars#also tryna come up with a name for legato-vash-midvalley trio. not even a romantic trio theyre just a couple of buffoons annoying each othe#midgatovash? legavashvalley?? VHS as in vashhornsummers?? valleybluestyphoon???#god im so bad at coming up with names.....#i'm mainly thinking of their dynamic in '98 but trimax also works#so much flavor to this trio imo#anyway. it's fun playing dress up with characters and trying to find what would fit their style and all. i wanna do more of that#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#millions knives#legato bluesummers#millionsummers#midvalley the hornfreak#shinxo art
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i really love my friends
#had like. 10 people over tonight plus my housemates and it was. so nice#not everyone knew eachother but we all just chilled and ate food and played games and i . needed it#ive been. lonely lately. and it really felt like it was the first time in a while i could take my mind off things and relax#ive. been taking steps forward#i’m gonna take only four classes next semester I think. and get back into my hobbies and my solo art#im gonna try and go see live music more often and stuff like that#maybe go home on weekends more frequently#i am. going to try#i still cant believe how many friends i have#going to zero to 1 to like. so many has been quite the transition#im trying to be more outgoing
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fake ep idea + doodles
#i was thinking abt how funny it would be if there was a shiftythrifting blog equivalent in lmk. and half the stuff on there is#submitted by wukong. so i thought a yard sale ep would be funny lol#basically the hoard becomes problem one way or another and wukong figures the best way to get rid of his junk is thru ebay#somehow ends up selling world ending artifacts to random megapolis citizens so mk mei and redson have to scramble to find em#purposely meant to mirror the weekly shenanigans s1-2 style eps that are really goofy (dumpling ep noodles ep etc)#but it gets darker and darker because MK is not fucking ok after that whole thing with the scroll and some unchecked identity crisis#for me id want him to kind of. freak tf out because they have to find MULTIPLE chaos inducing items that could end the world while trying t#be sillygoofy and funny about it. so hes trying to mask his panic with “ohhh guys its just like the good ol days ^_^ remember that ^_^”#ESPECIALLY after that whole thing with the ink scroll. also mei doesnt buy any of it and is worried for him the whole time#as for the B plot it could be monkey king also trying to be very relaxed abt selling 4000 years worth of stuff and tang getting all huffy#like “these are priceless artifacts that could help us learn so much about the past!! wtf man!!!”#and maybe it reveals smth like wukong not wanting to hold on anymore bc his past weighs him down. and theyre all reminders#i think azure mentioned that wukong is sentimental (idk if that was genuine or lying to mk) so that could be touched on to#so basically. the theme would be some sort of conversation abt nostalgia. i think. im not a writer so its very fuzzy in my head#if anyone wants to add on or include their own spin on it feel free. also included undercut redson as a treat somewhere in there#myart#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk red son#lmk mei#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lmk xiaojiao#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#doodles#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#lmk traffic light trio#yard sale ep
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Fit: The youngest gay roleplay server in Minecraft.
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“it’s just a warmup sketch,” i say to myself. “i’m just gonna warm up on shading and coloring. i’m just warming up on anatomy.” my spine crackles from sitting in shrimp stance for 2 hours. “just to warm up.”
#dairydraws#epithet erased#molly blyndeff#prison of plastic#jelloapocalypse#epithet erased prison of plastic#eepop#digital painting#molly is really fun to practice drawing hair on but i do kinda feel like i’m fighting against the skin tone in her ref whenever i draw her#i don’t even necessarily feel like i favor warmer or more saturated tones in general but idk#something about the color in her ref doesn’t mesh right with my painting style#i should try painting her lit in cooler toned light that might help#i was drawing her crying and then changed my mind#but i forgot to erase the little snot bubble. so i guess molly has a runny nose#the reason i got so carried away is almost definitely because the cafe im in is playing such slow relaxing music#i usually listen to pretty upbeat stuff when i draw#and it motivates me to go fairly fast. but i was just kinda enjoying myself and going with the rhythm of the lowfi beatstrumentals#this is a great cafe. the masala chai here fucking shreds#it’s so cardamom heavy and baby do i love cardamom#you know a tea at a cafe is good if drinking the stuff leftover at the bottom gets a lil grit in ur mouth#molly deserves a warm cup of masala chai frankly#paintings
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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obsessed with zhongli x azhdaha lately like they were doomed from the start and they make my heart hurt a bit
a blind dragon yearning to see the sun and morax gives him eyes so he is the first thing he sees
MIND YOU zhongli is always represented by the sun (this is just like being stabbed)
azhdaha himself said there was no one who trusted and respected morax more than he did
"that day in the chasm...did you hesitate?" "a heart of stone is a heart nonetheless" SHOOT ME
"you're leaving?" if you listen closely you can hear zhongli's heart crash and shatter into pieces when he realizes azhdaha can't stay
rage beneath the mountain is one of my favorite pieces of genshin music it is so good
azhdaha is the moon and zhongli is the sun (why don't i just die)
im telling you they were DOOMED cause morax is like "lets form a contract and be friends but if you hurt my people i will stop you" thats how you knew it was already fucked
zhongli trying to hold back azhdaha's erosion with his own strength for as long as he could but he couldn't do it and having to watch his friend turn into a shell of himself
zhongli having to steel himself and lock away his feelings as he seals his partner in a prison within the earth and its implied that this is contributed to his own erosion
eroded azhdaha calling zhongli an usurper who stole his throne but this also means the true azhdaha did not care for the title and loved zhongli and humanity
that one event where zhongli returns to azhdaha's domain and leaves wine there
the 5* liyue golden bow trapped in beta and the description is that zhongli asks azhdaha "if we can ride on your back we could visit the palace on the moon" and the thought of morax sitting on azhdaha's back as they roam the mountains makes my chest ache
the betrayal hurts even more because azhdaha is saying all of these hurtful things and doing horrible things and morax knows this isn't the real him but he can't do anything to stop him
azhdaha seeing morax's face before he was sealed away and accepting his fate
more beta bow lore (it’s called Dreams of Dragonfell) is that in his prison azhdaha is distraught over breaking his relationship with zhongli and humanity that he treasured so much he doesn’t understand why he did such a thing but the memory itself is painful
tragic doomed from the start dragon yaoi i would not wish this on anyone
#JUST SICK i might cry#weep weep sob#azhdaha#zhongli#rezhong#they were partners and friends and companions#azhdaha yearned to see the sun and the first thing he sees is morax YOU ARE HIS SUN MORAX IS HIS STAR#THEY WERE DOOMED#i got to get zhongli a partner that wont perish before him!#hold on im trying im trying but it seems you are really doomed to die alone IM SORRY MY LOVE#azhdaha: jade as brilliant as the sun#me: okay i know you’re in love but you need to relax#i haven’t even mentioned the SONG azh’s cn va sang LIKE THERES A WHOLE SONG#did i tell you that they used to write poems for each other?
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if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"
"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules
i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen
and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway
#dont question me/dont challenge me. questions are the sore spot but the challenge is one she says explicitly once#because you see this in how she is with other people too. dont try her patience. dont act like shes smaller. dont challenge her or Die#based on the giggle - 'i thought i was clever' 'what do i say?! because im always sooo certain' - i dont think 14 is like this#also based on the expressions of affection#hes not that......reactive. to this. specific thing#so i wonder if it runs over to 15#he seems chill. i think? he seems fairly chill. but also i think we've so far only seen him mostly in control of things#faced with the maestro temporarily not entirely in control hes Notably Less Chill#but still bigger picture. hes mostly in control of things right now i think#or uhhhh based on how eager he seems to get out of the role of doctor#hmmmmm#13 didnt want it but like. was stuck with it i think#didnt want it but nobody else was gonna do it. thats why 12 regenerated#15 comes out 14 Literally Quitting#he doesnt want it and hes decided hes not stuck with it. maybe#none of this is true btw im just saying words recreationally#like those 13 moments are super cherrypicked and i havent rewatched in forever so#dont believe me gfkjghgjh#this is based more on how i write them than what ive seen basically#anyway in terms of 14/yaz i think it takes yaz a while to figure out how to deal with 14 Not being like this#bc she got soooo practiced at handling 13. most of which was abt like not tripping this rule too much#she'd keep it up with 14 and he'd just do stuff that like breaks the rule from his side and yaz wouldnt have any idea how to deal with it#he'd show her hes chilled out a bit. about this. over and over and it'd still take her moooooonthssssssss to start relaxing#just muscle memory at this point. doesnt help that shes also like this#i wonder if 14 - in a sort of compelte reversal - wants to be told what to do and how to do and#seeks out situations where someone else knows more than him so he can sit down and say 'teach me'#i think thats what he does. about all the human stuff. hes like teach me. all of it. show me how to do this
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saw some speculation on FranklyDear in relation to the audios and i want to toss my two cents in
so all the thing's i've been seeing have been people talking about how they're a couple, but they're not acting like it, so that must be Playfellow's influence making them put distance between each other
but i immediately interpreted it as - they're not there yet. there might be feelings, but they aren't Together. cause in the 14 bug audios, i feel like it's pretty clear that these are snapshots of the neighborhood outside of the show. cameras aren't rolling, there are no influences, it's the neighbors just Existing on their own dime
'cause the conversations are more natural! the characters seem more nuanced! there aren't any sound effects! so if FranklyDear is already established, wouldn't we have "seen" that in their shared audio 8-14? wouldn't Eddie have just called Frank Frank, without the immediate (and somewhat flustered) correction to Mr. Frankly? and wouldn't Frank call him Eddie instead of Mr. Dear? plus, idk about y'all, but that scene was a lil romantically charged. a little flirty - especially from Frank's side. the kind of tension you get from budding emotions, not fully-realized ones
they just seem to be in a before state. the beginning stages. and anyway, i remember Clown saying that revealing FranklyDear as an endgame couple was sort of an Accident? i think we were meant to watch it evolve and figure it out along with the characters, the way we will with any other relationships (that we Definitely are not aware of / confident about yet).
we're still only in the prologue of the story, so it'd make so much sense if Frank and Eddie are not yet Involved. we're on this journey With them
#in a parallel universe there are people arguing over whether or not frank & eddie are a Thing#im kinda thankful that's not our reality lol#i think it's going to be fun just sitting back Fully Aware and watching these two Go Through It#i just highly highly HIGHLY doubt they're already together#plus how much more fun would it be to watch it Happen?#to see them experience the conflict and feelings and realizations and how their interactions will likely Change Accordingly#homebogging#welcome home theory#welcome home speculation#before the audios i had a feeling that it would be eddie being the more up-front flirty go-getter of the two#based on clown's art of them & such#but then with the audios eddie is a little more... reserved isnt the right word....#polite? restrained? trying to keep things Amicable and Professional?#cause in 8-14 frank was the more relaxed teasing one while eddie was a bit of a flustered mess#which might've been because of the bug#but yk... he Did rush to correct himself on how he addressed frank...#and the way frank spoke... idk it just sounded like a slightly different Tone than what they usually speak with#more of a casual drawl. more forward - there was a Weight to it#and the 'you don’t need to be that familiar with them in order to get to know them better'#imo that line stuck out as a kind of a wink wink nudge nudge thing#like a Hey. We Could Get To Know Each Other.#twas a classic 'talking about one thing while saying another' phrase - again imo#oh and also its just occurring to me#if the bug audios are 'present day' like i suspect#its entirely possible that franklydear can only 'now' develop bc theyre - well theyre not exactly Free#but playfellow is no longer 'ruling' over them. the influence and pressure - no matter how subconcious it was - is no longer there#freeing them up just enough to maybe... just maybe... truly Feel and perhaps Express interest in each other#just a thought!#that would be another tally in the box explaining why their interaction in the 8-14 audio was Different#there isn't anything holding them back anymore beyond their (possible) own internalized biases & fears & expectations etc
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