#im trying to fall back in love w drawing. its a bit hard but its spring now officially and im slipping the sun some tongue and i will draw

[foxnikki]

hi!! can I please have a mha and jjk romantic matchup ? im pansexual so i have no preference for gender !

in terms of personality, im very optimistic and bubbly. i always try to see the good in ppl and situations, even if ive been wronged or if the situation is scary. im very emotional and empathetic too, so whenever i see ppl cry i also cry 😭 im a hopeless romantic, so i fall for ppl very easily and when i love ppl, i love them very deeply. sometimes im a yapper, but other times i go nonverbal. my friends also describe me as rlly kind and sweet, but also sensitive and super oblivious. whenever ppl like me, i never know unless they or my friends outright tell me that they like me (its rlly bad, i recently discovered that 5 ppl liked me at one point but i had no idea 😭). i tend to put others first and im the friend that ppl go to for advice. i tend to see situations from everyone’s perspective, so id say that im pretty understanding. im also very smiley and i laugh at almost everything, and this is my charming point when it comes to making new friends or leaving a first impression. as nice as i can be, i also say or do out of pocket or unexpected things sometimes. when it comes to dating me, i have rlly bad trust issues and i feel like im hard to love, so id need someone who’s patient and understanding.

my hobbies include crocheting, reading, drawing, playing roblox w my friends, listening to music (my fav artists are lana del rey, mitski, laufey, beabadoobee, ichiko aoba, and lamp!), binging shows, and playing an instrument. also idk if u need this, but i dress very girly but I can’t stick to one aesthetic!! i either dress in the himekaji style (think shoujo mc, like hachi or sawako) or dark coquette (idk if that’s the actual name of the style but think horror game protagonist). thank you so much and im so sorry for how long this is😭

a/n: hope you enjoy this!

You Got...

Izuku Midoriya !

He's sorry when you cry, but he understands that you're empathetic.

When he has a crush on someone he starts to stutter and turns red, so you should understand. At first he wouldn't admit it and I would just keep it to himself, maybe one day he'll get up the courage and tell you.

He may talk for a long time, especially if it is a topic he likes. But if you go nonverbal then it will do the same, since he doesn't know if you want to talk or hear him. Sometimes people need just a bit of silence.

Likes that you're kind.

Also likes the way you smile and laugh.

He is quite a patient person, he will give you the time you need.

Yuji Itadori !

Yuji tries to be as optimistic as possible and he's quite chatty. Have you seen a new movie that came out in theaters? He will definitely tell you about it. And if you want to talk instead then he will listen to you. Over time he became a good listener.

At the beginning, if he sees you crying he will approach you and ask what happened to trigger that emotion, you need to give him some time to make him understand that it is actually empathy towards others. He finds it a very important aspect in a person.

He likes that you are kind, and your smile makes him smile back.

If you say or do something he doesn't expect he'll be surprised at first, but in the end it doesn't bother him too much. He's discovered something new, it seems.

He understands that you need time to trust him, so he doesn't mind waiting. He understands it.

Never tried crocheting but looks interested, maybe you can teach him?

[spikeinthepunch]

rebrand conflict

idk how to decide what is a good or bad decision in terms of like...wanting to rebrand. i wish i could count back to how long i have used "morrysillusion" overall, i dont have a specific date. but i know after the white/brown antelope/wolf fursona, i think i dropped "moreyytilatot"? i think i tried to just go by "morey" in some form (i recall "princemorry" url). and then i dropped the 'nisovinsillusion' url maybe in early 2016? but i also had the coffini url here for a good while after. i cant remember if i used morrysillusion outside of tumblr around that time so. idk...

and heres the thing-- i dont really feel disconnected from my username, its fine and i think its p cool. but also in my head i keep wanting to change it, and part of that is wanting to claim a super old username i have no bad associations with. and i think part of that is bc of all the ways i am trying to do the things i was denied through my younger years-- so i am just reliving a lot of nice things and recalling the vibes and online trend etc i had. but also like.... attitude? personality wise? i feel like im not reflecting that w my current "brand" so to speak. at the very least if i didnt change my username, i still dont feel like the current look is something i want. i think the urge on the username change is just an additional feeling to push away from what i have been under this name.

the username i keep wanting to fall back to is 'spikeinthepunch/spikedpunch' (had the short one on xboxlive and the long one on deviantart) which was a short lived username but has no negative relations to anything, and i wished i kept it for a bit longer. and its kind of an edgy username lol. but in my recent years of growing as an adult, moving out, and being my own person, i feel soooo different than how my accounts have been presenting me. i guess ive been like soft, simple, and stiff in presentation? i think i fell into this when i was thinking id keep doing art commissions etc in a "professional" way, and especially bc i was doing my CN internship around then and wanted to still look presentable for the industry when looking for jobs. and while i certainly would love to work in the creative industry potentially, i obviously dont need to keep up that Normal-er image, i never should have, but also at that age and time i didnt feel like i could be that way at all. i was far more nervous of people interpreting me badly, negatively, etc if i was more edgy or mature. i was young and not dealing with my issues and so fixated on trauma etc.

this is also lining up w my plans to rework my website too. and i think a lot of this feeling also comes along w my "mascot" who i think is lovely! but him being a "mascot" makes him.... very detached from me as a person. i havent had any sonas to relate to in almost over a year... and my mascot was never meant to be a sona, just a Guy to represent my vibe (the colors, aliens) and social media appearance. and i guess i dont like that vibe anymore. i havent even felt all too into the shift i made to Mikike just having a vague spacesuit either, i felt i was just forcing that in order to fit the simple minecraft skin format for readability. (if people were to draw my skin, making it plantigrade and less animal would be easier)

and of course an additional observation i have had in more recent times are manic episodes that make me uproot parts of my life and change a lot of stuff about my identity etc. it may not seem like that happens online but its bc i manage to hold back on changing things abt my online branding lol- but it often results in making sideblogs for whatever new fandom/media i attached to in my episode and irl changing my entire appearance to fit and much more (and promptly drop both in about a month or so- its why i have so many abandoned sideblogs). this is obviously the bigger issue bc its what makes it Very hard for me to not do this (n yes i am in a bit of an episode rn despite my medication so...). and shocker, so many of my username/url changes and failure to ever keep one long enough to form an identity is related to that as well! its a surprise i havent done it in years but it was the expectation to stay with one identity, one look, in order to be Normal and recognized in a professional way, and i dont like that.

making this post and dumping thoughts has me thinking on a solution. as i said i dont really feel detached from my username. but what i dont relate to the most now is the way i feel i have gotten stuck in presenting myself online, and as a "brand". i want to toss out my color scheme, my mascot, my outward attitude. i want to let myself actually present in a way i like and not in a way that feels "clean". when my wcrp got shut down i had to come to the idea of acceptance and letting go of things i cannot control. and the reality of what truly doesnt matter in terms of what people may think of me. that was a huge pressure left on me for YEARS thanks to 2014-16 tumblr mindset and it is so so much harder to break esp if you want to try and be a creator and build an audience. i felt like i had become aware of this, and i have, but i didnt really click the fact that i wasnt into my current online presence bc i was still living with a piece of that era.. the fear of getting popular and being 'called out' for something for years ago, that wasnt even serious or bad, feeling like i was stepping carefully everywhere even when nothing was wrong. this doesnt entirely tie to WHY i want to do all the above. its just an observation on one of the things that hold me back too. just staying the same and staying safe. i hardly ever post, and while its something i chose to do its also a 'bonus' to not giving people much things to read off of me and assume from too.

this is getting too long and i think i have my point. idk what im gonna do but im thinking a lot abt how i should take control of my online life.

[sanchoyo]

arc v 22 - 30 thoughts!!! whew these eps. set up stuff is important. also, good masumi yuzu moments.

-my god. yuya literally accidentally taking yuzus polymerization card from her and making it his thing when she practiced so hard with it. FUCKing apt metaphor for how I feel she should be the protag and shes being robbed of her role (im sorry I genuinely have nothing against yuya but shes so much more interesting to me! she feels like a classic protag!) im glad he gave it back at least…I was afraid she'd refuse it for some reason…

-I do love yuyas random ITS SHOWTIME english. tmm moment. (theres a lot of random english mixed into this series actually and it always makes me like :D!!! lol I understand!!! hehe)

-uhhh the tall fortune teller lady trying to look at yuyas fate fr and the glass ball SHATTERING AND BREAKING IN HALF IS PROBABLY BAD, THOUGH.

-24 gave some veeeery interesting implications. yuto tells yuzu fusion is the 'enemy' and weve SEEN a synchro (guy on motorcycle, so I assume synchro at least) fighting yuto too!! so. oh my god it is all the dimensions vs xyz. WHAT DID XYZ DO. THATS MY FAV CMON!!! -also very um. interesting in the implications of gx and 5ds being on different timelines I think since the implication is theyre pulling from diff dimensions all at once, right? (possibly diff timelines on top of that, since im p sure even tho I havent seen him, that ive heard arc v kaito is Kind of a Different Kaito from Zexal Kaito. whatever that may mean. canon/timeline divergence???? im SO confused LMAO I thought 5ds was a straight shootoff from gx/dm! I know zexal makes things a bit fucky since I think it implied 5ds didnt Happen, but?? before that I assumed it was a straight line...am I wrong tho...(dont actually answer I wanna figure it out on my own..)

-masumi!!!! being a BOSS at dueling and her two lil dudes being SUCH hypemen for her. we love itttt

-idk if theyre setting shun up as a bad guy or whatever or deeply traumatized. but everytime he xyz summons im like yessss king slay (but not my girl masumi!!!) 16400 attack monster!!!!! with an epic fire bird!!! im obsessed w his aesthetics if nothing else. kinda epic hes putting ppl in cards actually to draw reiji out and wants to take him hostage. i think i side with him bc hes at least cool about it. if youre gonna be morally questionable your vibes better fuck severely, and his do.

-yuzu kinda having a hotgirl summer moment by falling in love with an emo version of her bff LOL get it girl!!!

-oh shit LMAO REIJI STRAIGHT UP SAYING 'no my dad doesnt give a shit about me, taking me hostage would not work' with a straight face!!! DUDE U OK. this IS ygo so daddy issues come standard with every character but CHRIST. and shun being like 'wtf do u mean' HE SAID IT OUTRIGHT DUDE. DONT BE DENSE.

-shun getting told by reiji 'i have ONE condition' then WALKING AWAY BEFORE TELLING HIM and shun being like HEY?? dude this guy has been assaulting ppl/trapping them in cards and ur just?? walking away??? reiji has massive balls and is so funny (I know its more intended to be a cliffhanger, but its ygo. the solution is gonna be to do a series of duels, of course)

-junior, jr youth, youth in the tournament, so being like, little kids (I assume like 5-12ish?) then middle schoolers 13-15? then the youth class beng teenagers up to 18? thats my assumption bc 'pros' seems to indicate adults, and pros arent in the tournament. reiji specifies this is a tournament to find 'spears to fight' for him. WHY are you using CHILDREN instead of pros dude??? christ with your resources theres no NEED for that right???

-but hes fighting his dad and claims to be on the same side as shun, which. surprised me ngl. reiji team xyz!!!! win for the gays everywhere!!! and he has daddy issues!!!!!!!!!!! king.

-honestly, it raises the question of who the 'good' guys are in this battle? reijis up to use child soldiers and to work with a guy who is willing to trap ppl in cards. yet yuto made a point to say its bc they lost friends and want to protect ppl. we dont know what the other side is fighting for. it FEELS like both sides are willing to do Whatever Morally Grey things they need to, which is SUPER interesting. I mean, we havent SEEN the other side at length yet! except sora, who it was on SIGHT for when he saw yuto! so I'm willing to bet hes got the same 'whatever it takes' attitude…I want to know WHYYYY theyre fighting!!!)

-theres a duel school where idols go to learn to duel??? THATS SO CUTE. mikiyo naname ilu i know ur gonna show up ONE time but cute design

-no one told yuya hed be doing the lil pre-tournament speech!! yes he might want to be an entertainer but my god anyone would be anxious with like zero prep or warning! tf nico

-one of the announcers says juniors solid vision ar stuff is 'very soft like a sponge' why the hell is all of it not like that?? its fine for anyone over like 13 to get injured dueling ig! lmao!

-omg masumi being like 'tf are u talking abt shun has always been on our team' GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS MOMENT LMAOO (or some level of brainwashing, who knows, it IS yugioh)

-its refreshing to see some good parents in ygo who are involved for once, lol, all the kids parents there to watch them duel and cheer them on is sweet!

-layra is like. Deeply Traumatized and just seeing the councilwomen sends them into a PANIC I need to run into traffic to protect them (the subs call them a boy but?? quick google says girl so for NOW I'm being neutral w pronouns until further confirmation from the show ig) they were up there with reiji earlier too! tf are u making a traumatized child duel for dude! losing favor points with me very quickly reiji. putting ppl into cards is nbd but traumatizing kids? no. gotta draw the line somewhere man

-ayu's deck is aquarium themed!!! my god thats SO cute all the kids have rly cute themes. but she forgot she cant attack on turn one…girlie thats the basics…(everyone was cheering her on for the mistakes and encouraging her which is sweet tho)

-then its extra sad when ayu loses and still has ppl comforting her and being sweet and layra having NO ONE ???? EXCEPT REIJI WHO JUST OFFERS (1) HEADPAT. also 'niisama' yeah I expected as much, ygo rival Standard. give ur sib a HUG or something. (maybe theyre touch adverse, I dont know. they do seem. Deeply Traumatized sjfkjnkh)

-lmaooo sora and yuzus friendship Continues to grow on me. his pic of her in his contacts is her smacking yuya with her fan! and she calls him to be like 'YOU BETTER COME ROOT FOR ME OR ELSE' i love how she combats his very wishy washy noncommittal attitude…he says its bc hes her teacher but cmon u guys are friends, prob more than anyone shes soras friend fr by now right?

-YESSS YUZU MASUMI DUEL theyre both doing great I LOVE their dynamic in my mind THIS is what a ygo protag and rival should feel like (sorry to reiji, but he just doesnt feel rival-y enough yet to me!! cannot even explain it) the gay instinct to have a rival. the whole 'im better than you' attitude, the fiery competitiveness…wanting to prove them wrong, the thinking abt them so much u can predict their moves..its SO spicy. then the giving of the red rose card after getting saved by yuzu…masumi? are u perhaps. fellow gay?

-despite all of my efforts sora is growing on me. hes SUCH a brat and is honest about it (and doesnt rly do the whole fake cutesty thing as much as Id expected he would) I think hes actually been as honest as he can, maybe? like I assume theres a good reason he hasnt told the others hes..involved in some kind of?? inter-dimensional battle?? situation??? Im not entirely sure I think hes gonna be a full out traitor or anything, but the others will prob be upset when they find out he's been withholding info…but I 100% think hes some kind of child soldier who BELIEVES his side is right, just like im sure shun feels real justified sealing ppl into cards! (and unlike shun we havent SEEN sora DO anything bad yet. I just kinda think he HAS based on his deck being so creepycute and him not being straightforward, but again, him continuously asking if he was even allowed to be teachign yuzu stuff makes me think hes taking orders from..someone...) him so mad shun didnt stick around to see yuzu's duel was so funny. I dont WANT him and yuzu's silly lil friendship to end! im attached now! even tho I KNOWWW hes sus! :(

-in the crowd you can see ppl wearing cute duel monster accessories, like one girl had a dark magician girl headband/visor thing! very cute, wish we saw more things like that. in pokemon anime they do that a lot and its always such a delight…I want more duel monster cosplay moments! or references in charas outfits!

-ok yuya being the damsel during gongenzakas duel while yuzu is the one yelling, telling gon not to worry is……furthering my idea that yuzu is main chara and yuya is in the position of side character of different gender than main character (who is often a damsel or person to worry over the most). hes the anzu/kotori of the show. to me. JKJSDH (also, gongenzaka, is perfectly nice and fine but its so hard for me to care deeply about him aaaahg even with the episodes centered around him…hes so straightforward and steady, tho. good for him.)

-….the guy who gongenzaka's dueling should be disqualified. he had his goons try and jump yuya! god why isnt he automatically disqualified! doesnt the broadcast pick up audio?? he like, admits to it!

-....is shingo supposed to be yuya's rival actually, instead of reiji? ...he doesnt feel like a rival either though!!! or if he is it feels one-sided!!! yuzu was more ready to fight him than yuya was!!! jkahjkf anyway that duel is up next episode which I wont start tonight...but I'm excited to see more shingo. bc I think despite his best attempts at being a threat hes super silly actually...

[0rph1x]

ASTROLOGY ASK GAME YESSS TWO THINGS I LOVE COMBINED OKAY LETS DO IT sun - idk if this is physical or not but ill do both. uhhhhh. my eye color, the fact that on each of my shoulders i have freckles on the front and back that look like they go all the way thru bc they look like they line up on both sides, i like how determined i am, i like thatttt i can have fun without worrying abt being embarrassed most times, and i like how caring i am

moon - depends on the feeling tbh

mercury - eh it depends on who im around and what we're talking about

venus - my boyfriend <3

mars - i like when ppl do it for me, i rarely start talking to random ppl to make friends or whatever

jupiter - ive had certain lucky situations but idk i don't believe too hard in luck, i feel like ive fought and worked rlly hard to be where i am and idk how much of that falls on luck

saturn - dysphoria, my self image, and caring. way too much. i care w a y too much abt things

uranus - a lot. im from the US and i think literally almost everything should change bc its a mess

neptune - i try to think very rationally, i like going off of logic and facts bc then its cut and dry

pluto - i dont kow if ive ever had one tbh

ascendant - im not rlly sure, i do think u should know the person a bit before u date them but i believe that sometimes u just know when a person is for u

IC - i had good parts but i dont remember the majority of my childhood, so that's a good indicator sjdfhjskd

descendant - gay ppl, mentally ill ppl, and shitty ppl, all separately

MC - good question, i ammmm not very sure. idk what ppl think of me most times sdjfjlk

aries - depends, i do have times where i am impulsive and high energy and can't sleep and shit like that

taurus - garlic chicken that my mom makes. perfection.

gemini - yeah we have a good relationship, they do think of me a certain way bc i did have to take care of them growing up but they're getting old enough to be friends with me

cancer - im not sure, i dont think id make a good dad

leo - depends on who im with, most times i like to just go unnoticed and be on my own

virgo - y e a h im very perfectionistic, everything needs to go exactly the way i want it to

libra - yeah, i would love to be married in the future

scorpio - ehhh depends on what it is tbh

saggitarius - a bunch of different countries, i wanna go out and just explore the entire world

capricorn - ap literature teacher. i wanna teach high school kids how to be critical of the things that they read and consume before they graduate

aquarius - i can be both in different situations, i think its called being an ambivert but i go back and forth

pisces - i draw and i write and that's it

1H - hm. edgy grunge smoker who doesnt smoke trans guy. that's it.

2H - i rlly like my stuffed frog, but a random object that i like a lot is my rock that i found on the way to chicago

3H - marvel, space, uhhhh im not sure i just talk

4H - my mom. thats it. im closest with her.

5H - i write, i catch up on politics, i used to run and march with my band in the summer before i got hurt, but that's abt it

6H - i mean kinda, i just like getting everything done as soon as possible so i don't have to worry abt it

7H - trust, honesty, communication, being able to have fun with me, stuff like that

8H - not trusting me (i get there are some things u don't want to discuss and that's fine that's not what i mean), not talking to me when ur upset with me to like "punish" me, idk man there's a lot from past shit

9H - i wanna learn spanish, french, and some random obscure language no one knows about

10H - i have no idea, hopefully positively

11H - stupid, loyal, caring

12H - a lot. the dark, spiders, rlly big dogs, cornfields at night, empty roads at night, cheesy stuff. if we wanna get deep, im afraid of being forgotten, being ignored, ppl moving on from me bc i cant be good enough, not being able to ever be seen as who i am, stuff like that JGHSKJDHJ

OKAY IM DONE GJSDKGKSJDGK THERES THAT

Astrology ask game ☄️

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

moon ⇢ do you suppress your feelings?

mercury ⇢ are you a talkative person?

venus ⇢ describe your ideal type

mars ⇢ are you the type to approach others first or do you like others to do that instead?

jupiter ⇢ do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?

saturn ⇢ what are the things you consider you struggle the most?

uranus ⇢ what things do you think should change in society?

neptune ⇢ are you a rational or intuitive person?

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

ascendant ⇢ do you believe in love at first sight?

IC ⇢ do you think you had a good childhood?

descendant ⇢ what kind of people do you usually attract?

MC ⇢ what kind of reputation do you think you have?

aries ⇢ are you an impulsive person?

taurus ⇢ what's your favorite food?

gemini ⇢ do you have a good relationship with your siblings? if you're an only child, would you like to have siblings? how many?

cancer ⇢ do you want to start a family in the future? how many children would you like to have?

leo ⇢ do you like being the center of attention or do you prefer to go unnoticed?

virgo ⇢ do you consider yourself a perfectionist?

libra ⇢ would you like to get married in the future?

scorpio ⇢ do you feel comfortable talking about taboo things?

sagittarius ⇢ what places would you like to travel in the future?

capricorn ⇢ what's your ideal job?

aquarius ⇢ do you consider yourself an antisocial or social person?

pisces ⇢ what kind of art are you good at? (painting, dancing, singing, etc.)

1H ⇢ describe your style

2H ⇢ do you have any object that you like a little too much? what is it and why?

3H ⇢ what are some of the topics you like to talk about the most?

4H ⇢ which relatives are you the closest with?

5H ⇢ do you have a hobby? which one(s)?

6H ⇢ do you consider yourself a workaholic?

7H ⇢ what do you consider green flags in a relationship?

8H ⇢ what do you consider red flags in a relationship?

9H ⇢ what languages ​​would you like to learn?

10H ⇢ how do you want people to remember you?

11H ⇢ describe your friends in 3 words

12H ⇢ which is/are your biggest fear(s)?

[absoluteconceptofbeauty]

my dream future is some things that are going to happen soon (like this spring and summer) & also some things that probably won’t happen soon. i live with my best friend and her dog while we go to community college together. we get to decorate and fill the house with things we want & live by the rules that we set. we take the dog on walks together on the trails. i have my license and a vintage hearse that i’ve turned the back of into a nice place to chill, i can drive out to see my friends that live a few hours away that i never get to see, i make new friends in the area as well. i got a raise or a higher paying job that is still fun & chill, i use the money for tattoos, piercings, gifts for my friends and mundane irritating things. i make my own clothes and grow my own weed, i paint and draw and write poetry constantly. i pick up the bass or the keyboard, maybe singing. i occasionally go out to the bars or clubs with other friends and get drunk, but never at home. when im actually ready for it, i fall in love, it might not be forever, but it’s great for however long it lasts. i just want my world to stop feeling so lonely and small, i want freedom, and my friends by my side more often than once or twice a year. (the things happening soon are me & my bestie moving in together & going to school together, we are also gonna grow our own weed bc dispensary weed sucks and is overpriced, i already paint and draw and write poetry, i just want to do it more, i alter clothes but don’t have a sewing machine yet or the knowledge on how to make my own clothes, so that’ll have to wait a bit)

Love love love love. I'm sooo happy 2hear u r moving in w ur best friend omg!! Having a place u can decorate, with a person u love . What a dream. "it might not be forever, but it's great for however long it lasts" I've been trying to have this attitude towards things also! its hard to enjoy things when u focus on how they will end one day... 🫶 thank you for sharing w me , talking makes my world feel less lonely and small ,and i hope it will do the same to you

[nebula-nights-reblogs]

Thinking abt the time that some guy in my ninth grade art class says real artists don’t use mechanical pencils to his friend and I was so internally pissed abt it I started drawing in pen

[frogtanii]

℗ me and my husband

atsumu x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 3.2k (holy shit)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, v v soft domestic, marriage :00, smut!! (is marked off!!), soft dom!tsumu, hair pulling (giving), unprotected sex, slight praise kink, pretty vanilla ngl

an. can be read as a one shot but u might be confused lmfao also this took SO LONG OMFG also also heavily unedited, take things w a grain of salt lmfao anyways don’t forget to feed me ahaha m rlly proud of this so i hope y’all like it <33

it was moving day and atsumu was about to lose his mind.

today was the official day of the hyper house disbandment and while most of the members were still figuring out new living arrangements and thus remaining past the deadline, you were one of the few trying to get out as soon as possible.

makki and mattsun were so excited to have you move in, they showed up early that morning to help you pack. now, it was around 1p and it was almost time for you to go. you still had a few more boxes to go but things were speeding right along.

normally, atsumu would be right by your best friends helping you out but he was currently in the middle of a breakdown.

you were leaving. leaving. he had no idea when he’d see you again (even though you promised to meet up weekly to catch up), if he would ever see you again. for all he knew, makki and mattsun would just hide you away forever, never to be seen again.

okay, so he was panicking.

it was just... atsumu was in love with you. he’d known for a while (way longer than he’d like to admit) and he selfishly thought he’d have more time with you so that he could work up the courage to confess. but now? you were like three boxes away from a distance that he didn’t know if he or your relationship could recover from.

it wasn’t that he was bad at long distance but the tragic events that the house brought, brought the two of you closer together and he didn’t want to lose that.

atsumu let out a groan and dropped his head against the wall, his mind running with scenario after scenario, all ending in failure and utter embarrassment.

“hey, you okay?” you called out, a large box cradled delicately in your arms. as atsumu turned from the plaster in front of him, he allowed himself a moment to take you in.

you were wearing short athletic shorts, worn converses, and his t shirt. a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, the lights above reflecting off of it, giving you a warm glow.

of course you looked hot moving boxes.

you called his name again in concern and he immediately felt his heart clench in guilt. you’d already been through so so much and here he was fantasizing about you instead of being there for you like a good friend would.

atsumu let out a sigh and shot you a wide, albeit empty, smile before walking over to you and taking the box out of your hands. the furrow in your brows told him you saw through his expression but he ignored it and made a show of lifting your box above his head and carrying it to mattsun’s car.

“see, what would ya do without these guns angel?” he joked, placing the cardboard into the trunk. you rolled your eyes and poked him in the side playfully. “die, probably.”

the butterflies in his stomach kicked up at the underlying sincerity in your voice but he tried his best to overlook it. it was much harder than it seemed, especially when you looked at him with such fondness in your gaze that made him want to kiss you senseless.

gulping hard, he quickly turned away from you, busying himself with fitting your things in the truck like a game of tetris.

“atsumu.” your voice was firm but pleading and he didn’t dare look at you for fear of spilling everything right then and there. “wow, ya sure got a lot of stuff, huh? wonder how much of this was bought with ushijima’s money,” he started to ramble but thankfully he was interrupted by makki whooping as he walked out of the house.

“last box bitches!” you shot atsumu one final worried look before running over to makki and mattsun, yelling the whole way there.

atsumu was grateful your back was to him because he couldn’t hide the affectionate look that overtook his face, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he watched you hip bump your friends while cackling wildly.

god, he was so in love with you.

what was he going to do when you moved out and away? what if you found someone, someone how loved you as much as he did (not possible)? he would wish for your happiness even at the expense of his own but... what if you both could be happy?

caught up in his thoughts, atsumu didn’t register you saying your goodbyes to the remaining members until you were finally in front of him.

“i’m gonna miss living with you tsum.” you unceremoniously launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. his heart leapt violently at the contact and he prayed to every deity above that you didn’t hear it underneath your head.

he barely managed to hug you back before you pulled away, your eyes slightly teary and red. “um, well, makki and mattsun are waiting for me so uh,” you trailed off looking back at the van and your friends who were so (im)patiently waiting for you to join them.

atsumu’s breath quickened as you scooted a bit away from him, truly getting ready to leave. no, no, it couldn’t end like this, awkward and distant. no, he wasn’t going to let it.

“atsumu?” you asked worriedly, reaching out a hand to touch him when he didn’t respond but he couldn’t hear you. he felt hot all over, like he was going to explode or magically combust if he didn’t get the words out into the air.

“tsum, are you oka-“ “i’m in love with ya.”

you paused, shock written clearly all over your face. the fear of rejection slammed into atsumu like a brick, the feeling settling in the pit of his stomach like a rock but he still didn’t stop.

“i’m in love with ya and i have been for forever. yn, yer beautiful but yer face and body aren’t even the best part of ya, even though they’re pretty damn great. yer just-“

“tsum-“

“-yer so kind, especially when ya don’t need ta be. yer badass but ya care fer others so deeply and ya make me wanna be a better person. ya make me a better person. i know ya-“

“tsumu please-“

“-ya probably don’t feel the same and that’s alright but i needed ta tell ya, before ya leave and fall in love with some other scrub, just in case we can be happy together and-“

all of a sudden, your hands were buried in his shirt and you were pulling him close to meet your lips with his, your mouths meshing together in a soft and passionate kiss.

bliss. atsumu was in sheer bliss. your lips were as soft as he thought they would be as they moved with his, his hands coming up to grip your waist and pull you even closer to him.

sooner than he would have liked, his lungs started burning for air so he pulled back but not very far, instead resting his forehead against yours.

“i was trying to tell you i liked you too, idiot,” you muttered, your eyes still closed as you spoke. he chuckled, a wide grin overtaking his entire face as he really took in what you were saying.

you liked him back. you liked him. holy shit.

but instead of saying any of that, he decided to tease you a bit. “just like? if i recall, i just confessed my undying love for ya.”

you pulled back with a faux scoff, hitting him in the arm with a huff. “shut up you ass. of course i love you too.” you couldn’t keep your real smile off your cheeks while you confessed, your soft expression bringing another wave of desire over atsumu’s body.

“can, can i take ya inside angel?” he allowed his true intentions to be heard in his words, your eyes widening when you figured out what he meant. you nodded vigorously before shooting a look to makki and mattsun. mattsun just waved you off and got into his truck while makki yelled, “get that dick!”

you heated up horribly, grabbing atsumu’s hand and pulling him towards the house and to his room. he allowed himself to be dragged along, sending winks to the other boys as he went until the two of you were standing right in front of his door.

“i love ya,” he whispered, lifting your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss there. you grinned. “love you too tsum.”

that must have been the final straw because the minute the words left your mouth, he was on you.

��•• smut begin•••

pressing you up against the door, atsumu ravaged your mouth, his tongue tangling with yours as he walked you backwards into his room, laying you down on the bed so that he was hovering over you, his hips pressing hard against yours.

instinctively, you ground up into him, rewarding you with a loud groan and a gasp of your name. “fuck angel, yer killing me here,” he laughed breathlessly, rolling his hardness against your thigh. you let out a breathy moan and tangled your hands in his hair to bring him back down to your lips.

as you continued to kiss him, his hands scrambled at your waist, pushing his hands under it to grope at your chest. you giggled at the cold of his fingers but he didn’t pay it any mind, moving down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark marks into the sensitive skin there.

“ah, shit tsumu,” you tilted your head to the side to give him more access, just as he reached under your bra to tease your nipples. a startled gasp left you, your back arching into his careful touch. “that feel good angel?” atsumu asked, voice low and gravelly as he pinched the delicate bud, drawing another noise from your throat.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. you bit your bottom lip while he pulled your shirt and bra off, tossing them somewhere in the room. as he scanned your half naked body, he noticed you quieting yourself and he lightly shook his head. his thumb found its way to your lip, carefully pulling it from between your teeth.

“wanna hear ya angel, let me hear yer pretty noises, yeah?” without letting you respond, atsumu dove back into your chest, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth while toying with the other, a sigh of his name sending a bolt of arousal straight to his loins.

he grinded against you absentmindedly, losing himself in you, eventually switching sides to give the same treatment to your neglected bud.

while atsumu seemed to be having the time of his life attached to your tit, you were getting impatient, your arousal completely soaking through your underwear. you needed more.

tangling your fingers in his blond locks, you attempted to tug him away from your chest but his reaction was unlike anything you could’ve expected. “aahh!” he let out a strangled whine, his hips bucking against your side.

“please, tsumu, need more,” you breathed, his needy reaction not lost on you as pulled his hair a bit harder. you were not disappointed as his eyes rolled back and his mouth opened in a silent moan before dropping his head to your shoulder.

“fuck, fuck, okay angel, i got ya, i got ya.” atsumu swiftly disposed of both yours and his bottoms and underwear before lifting your leg and positioning himself at your entrance.

“tell me if i hurt ya, alright? i love ya,” he smiled down on you, your heart swelling two times at his carefulness. “i love you too,” you replied, watching as his pupils grew and a low groan broke free from his chest.

“oh angel, ‘m gonna ruin ya.” that was the last thing he said before he pushed into you, both of you letting out whimpers as he stretched you open, the blunt head of his cock just a few centimeters shy of your cervix.

your back arched in pleasure, both of your hands scrambling until they found purchase on his back, your nails digging in just when he started to thrust shallowly into you.

“f-fuck, how’re ya s-so fuckin’ tight?” atsumu growled through gritted teeth, every word punctuated with a roll of his hips. you couldn’t respond as you were too overwhelmed with pleasure, his cock rubbing against your g-spot with every slow movement.

speaking of slow, he was moving way too leisurely for your tastes. you needed him to move faster and you knew exactly how to do it.

sliding your hand up from his back, you grabbed a good chunk of hair from the back of his head and pulled. his reaction was immediate and oh-so gratifying.

an honest to god whimper poured from his lips and he instantly thrusted all the way into you, his length driving into your g-spot perfectly. you both let out twin moans as he started rocking into consistently, every movement bringing you closer and closer to your peak.

“i love ya, i love ya so fuckin’ much, angel—shit—yer so amazing, i love ya,” atsumu rambled while pounding into you, deep curses and whines of your name interspersed with his declarations of love. if you could speak, you would reciprocate but you were too busy holding on for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion.

desperate for some kind of anchor to reality, you grasped onto his locks again, gripping tightly as drawn-out cries of his name slipped from your open lips. you were close, so close and he knew it too.

“feel ya clenchin’ around me like a good girl, ya gonna cum fer me? gonna cum fer me angel?” atsumu’s hand snaked down between your bodies to rub fast circles on your clit, a shaky sob finding its way out into the open air.

“oh shit, yeah, ‘m g-gonna cum for you tsum, ‘s all for you,” you moaned, clamping down on him sporadically as you started to cum, your vision whiting out and your thighs trembling while you gushed around him.

your mind was floating off when you felt him cum with a shout, his warmth flooding you and spilling out as he collapsed onto your chest.

••• smut over •••

the two of you lied there for a while, attempting to regain your brain and feeling in your legs. you vaguely made note of the wet rag cleaning between your thighs and the following weight falling down beside you but it was only after a few more minutes that you really came back to yourself, rolling over to lay on atsumu’s bare chest.

“holy shit, tsumu,” you said in awe, your boyfriend (!!) laughing at your reaction. “i’m just that good angel, what can i say?”

you groaned and hit him in the chest but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face if you tried. “you are such a menace!”

“only fittin’ that i picked a gremlin ta be with then,” atsumu teased while playing with a piece of your hair. mock offense filled your chest as you sat up, fixing him with your ‘angriest’ glare.

“is that the kind of language you’ll be using in your vows, mister?” you were only joking but when atsumu’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks, you realized your mistake.

you opened your mouth to apologize or to make some kind of excuse but he beat you to the punch. “ya wanna marry me angel?” he asked, looking so vulnerable with hope shining in his brown irises. you couldn’t bear to lie.

“of course tsum, you’re it for me,” you reached out a hand to caress his cheek and he leaned into it, his own coming up to cup yours and hold it against his face.

“good.” and that was the end of that, that evening’s... extraneous activities having thoroughly tired to the point that you fell completely asleep with your face against one of his pecs.

if you had stayed awake a little longer, you would’ve seen atsumu pull out his phone and start a new note titled, “my angel.”

if i just said i loved you, it would be an understatement. it would be like saying the sun’s surface is just a bit warm or that the arctic is just a little chilly. it would be an injustice to you and to how i truly feel about you. love—

“-is a word that is much too soft and used far too often ta ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for ya angel. ya acknowledge my strengths and ya accept my faults. ya make me wanna be a better person every day. so, today i vow ta laugh with ya and comfort ya during times of joy and times of sorrow. i promise ta always pursue ya, ta fight for ya, and love ya unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. ya are my best friend and i’m the luckiest person on earth ta call ya mine- wait are ya crying?"

the audience burst into laughter as you frantically tried to wipe away your tears, punching atsumu softly on the arm. “of course i am, you ass.”

the officiant cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions. “it is the bride’s turn to give her vows. if you may?”

you nodded and atsumu already felt like crying. again. he’d cried that morning while getting dressed and then again when you walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. now, as he watched you pull a folded piece of paper out of your bra, he knew he’d made the right decision in confessing to you, all those years ago.

he also knew he was definitely going to cry again.

“atsumu, falling for you wasn’t falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing that you’re home. today, i want to make you promises that i will always keep. i promise to never stop holding your hand or accepting your kisses. i promise to not hit you too hard when you insult me or call me a gremlin. i promise to share my food with you, to never go to bed angry, and to try and understand your obsession with professional men’s volleyball. i promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for i know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. i choose you. i’ll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, i’ll keep choosing you.

i used to never truly enjoy moments because i was always waiting for what's next. the next thing horrible thing to happen. now that i have you, i enjoy the moment. every moment.

today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but i already belong to you. falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. i love you.”

and at least in this lifetime

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[radiation]

gonna post progress pics from my volo painting and write a bit about my process since some1 asked for them!

excluding adjustment layers this has 20 layers in all. i wont show all of them bc some of them just have minor differences but ill show my general progress

sketch. just super loose but has enough visual clarity to be able to work off of and not have to fix issues caused by poor anatomy etc later

background color + painting under sketch. to choose colors, i go on the color wheel and just kinda choose colors freely and almost randomly & paint w them by very lightly pressing with a hard round elliptical opacity brush set to a large size, blending other colors on top of them this way. i dont use this brush the whole way through but honestly i couldve and it still wouldve turned out good

a lot of trial and error but because were doing it so loosely its pretty easy to find something that works quickly (also sorry the painting is so dark at this point oops)

developed painting a bit more and upped saturation in some places using an adjustment layer.

to get a lot of the color variations im getting here, i colorpick from other areas of the piece, ie colorpicking from the face and using it as subtle lighting for the hair, seeing i like how those colors look, and using that as a jumping off point and using a more intense pink for the hair shading. you can also see i got some of the yellowish on the sleeping bag or whatever tf he has on his back from the hair/hat/etc, just brushed it on there really lightly and it looks cool. another place i like to colorpick from is where the sketch overlaps with the colors underneath, it creates some interesting desaturated colors.

you can also see im developing linework a tiny bit here, its pretty early on and a lot of it will be painted over later anyways but i start being like, okay the 3d forms i've been making are working, let's draw on top of the sketch a bit to encapsulate those areas

but yeah uhh definitely a lot of this is just testing stuff out when i'm this early in the painting, i am aaaalways in motion, never stopping and just working off of instinct and what looks cool. and if i mess something up, i can just erase it and i'll have the layer underneath to fall back on.

also im just straight up not thinking about anything at this point unless im trying to closely replicate a reference image, which i didnt do very much. i use reference for eeeeeeverything i make. i took a pic of myself at a similar angle to this and then loosely based the sketch off of it, looked at pics of volo, later on looked at some reference of how ppl paint fabric, grabbed some pics of how i drew one of my ocs who makes a similar expression w his eyes, grabbed images of other digital paintings i'd made! because i wanted to work in a certain style i'd done maybe only twice before. for reference images, i use pureref, which i would highly recommend to any artist, especially ones without dual monitors (like me). basically just allows you to make a reference board and pin it on the very top of your screen

just developed more in the same fashion, then threw a couple adjustment layers over it. i toned back some of these adjustments later but yeah. you can see the lineart really starting to come together, a lot of the color variation on it colorpicked from accidental overlapping colors that ended up looking cool. btw i need to make it clear i do lineart and rendering on the same layers. also i did the stripes on the pack just by using a multiply layer, then giving it more love on the layer immediately above it so it doesnt look cheap

more rendering, got a vignette going w a multiply layer. actually started using reference for fabric folds. theyre really simply done honestly and dont look like. amazing. but they work

painted over the vignette in the background to make it a bit more interesting & not just a gradient, more rendering as usual, threw in some subtle highlights to make it a little more interesting! i probably couldve gone further with them honestly. also decided to do a really subtle outline around him cuz it looks cool. lineart is basically done at this point and this is where i started to think i was just about done

desaturated it a little bit, re-added some details i forgot about, generally fiddled with stuff and corrected some mistakes, added signature. and its DONE. i think this took me about four-four and a half hours? yeah something like that

other general notes:

-probably favorite part of this is the sleeping bag or whatever the hell that thing is on his backpack

-not entirely happy with how i did the fluffy part, it has some really cool color shifts but it doesnt feel like a proper 3d form all the way through to me. definitely pretty 2 dimensional in spots, but i was like eh i dont care enough to fix it

-although i think the pose works well enough, its definitely another example of me using pretty static poses and basic composition in my art. which isnt too terrible but i really need to start getting outside of my comfort zone on that stuff. this definitely couldve looked cooler if i developed the pose more and did better foreshortening but i didnt cuz that shiht is hard to me. im really awful at foreshortening

-on that same note, i worked off of the first sketch i made and didnt warm up beforehand which you do NOT want to do. thumbnail stuff out and make multiple sketches. 80% of the time the sketches following the first one will be better

-IM NOT AN EXPERT lots of stuff i still need to learn dont follow this 1:1

OVERALL im really satisfied with this though especially for how quickly it took me to make it. & i hope this was interesting, lmk if you have any more questions on my process !

[tastyykpop]

a holiday drabble smut w chanyeol would be appreciated cause a bitch misses him 😔 (it’s me, i’m bitch)

Me too though 😔💔

ᴄᴏᴏᴋɪᴇs

Pairings: chanyeol x reader

Genre: smut, fluff

Warnings: some d/s themes, its pretty soft and cute because its Christmas, unprotected sex, y/ns an innocent bitch, maybe a small😳🤏corruption kink

This was longer than I planned to write-

"Chanyeol the cookies!"

"cHaNyEoL tHe cOokiEs!" Your boyfriend mocked before you shoved your elbow in his side, making him laugh and stumble away from you.

"I'm serious," you sounded like you were lying because you were laughing along with him, "You're gonna make them too liquidy if you put too much milk."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He placed the cup of milk down on the table next to the bowl of mix, "Its not like you wouldn't be able to fix it anyway." Chanyeol shrugged, suddenly moving behind you to give you a back hug, but also leaning almost all of his weight on top of you too.

"Yeah but they have to be good for Santa...and my parents, but mostly for Santa!"

Chanyeol lifted his head off your shoulders and raised a brow, even though you couldn't see it, "Santa? What are you twelve?"

You stopped rolling the dough and froze, "Wha- yes Santa! Who do you take me for!? And why are you on me im trying to bake!??"

"Cuz I'm bored, for one, and two," he paused, did he really wanna break your heart and tell you the truth or did he want to be a good boyfriend and go with it? "Santa isn- is gonna love these cookies even if they turn out bad!" Chanyeol changed his mind and somehow made himself more believable when you smiled, jumping up a bit, but most importantly rubbing against him.

"Really!? Yayy~ Now hurry up and help, its almost 9pm!" You went back to rolling, but chanyeol didn't move, he was too focused on the fact that you were unaware of your ass grinding against his now growing member. Chanyeol really just wanted to bend you over the counter since you made him hard during a sweet bonding time, he wanted to ruin your innocence so bad. "Chanyeol."

He shook his head, not realizing you were staring straight at him, "Huh? What?"

"I said are you okay, you haven't even done what I asked and were staring off into space." You stared at the older man, wondering why he looked suddenly uncomfortable and red.

"I-im fine but...I need help with something." He blurted out, cursing himself for saying it so quick.

"Whatever it is, can't you wait till after? I need to put the cookies in." You looked back at the cookies, still slightly brushing against his boner without realizing and bent down to open the oven. He moved out of your way but he definitely felt your ass against his boner. Chanyeol was trying to hold it in, but it was becoming too much.

How could someone be so innocent? Chanyeol wondered to himself.

Chanyeol placed his hands on your hips when you stood back up, you thought he was just being his regular loving self so it didn't affect you in any way until you felt chanyeol kiss up and down your neck.

"What now?" You groaned, trying to brush him away but chanyeol grabbed your chin softly making you tilt your head the other way. "C-Chanyeol?"

"You trust me right?" He whispered waiting for a small nod which you gave him, "Good because I really need you right now, babe."

"B-but the cookies-"

"They're fine." He mumbled against your neck. You gripped the counter, trying to wrap your head around your boyfriends sudden horniness. "You're so cute y/n." Chanyeols lifted your shirt enough to explore your body with his curious hands, groping your breasts softly just to hear your small whimpers.

"C-can you please j-just..." you let your voice fall, too shy to tell your own boyfriend what you wanted. Its not like you haven't done this with him, but your so inexperienced unlike him.

"Can I just what? You have to talk to me pretty girl." You blushed, ignoring the way chanyeol easily slid off your Christmas pajama pants along with your shirt and underwear in a heartbeat.

"I want you to...f-fuck me?" Chanyeol lifted you up to seat you on another counter that didn't have the cookies on it, before raising your brow at your unsure self.

"Are you sure?" You quickly nodded, "Don't nod, speak."

A frown settled on your face, you didn't understand why you had to open your mouth when you already gave consent, "Yes, please."

Chanyeol was set and took his aching hard cock out, lining himself at your wet entrance before pushing himself in. "Fuck.., you're so tight, princess." He grunted, throwing his head back as he slowly pushed all the way in and started thrusting.

"Feels...s-so good." You moaned, face burning from how much you really enjoyed it.

Your boyfriends hips moved like a piston, fucking you fast and deep as you both moaned at the feeling. You loved how dirty it felt to be fucked right in the kitchen where anyone could walk in. It made you excited.

Chanyeol dug his nails in your legs, your nails scratching his back as he pounded into you. Each thrust was brushing your cervix ever so softly and you couldn't help but whine. It was intense for someone so innocent like you, but you knew once this all ended, it would be euphoric.

"Pl-please, i-im so full." You mumbled and bit into Chanyeols neck to keep yourself from screaming in pleasure, he hissed when your teeth sunk into his skin though it wasn't enough to draw blood.

"You love my cock, right princess?" Chanyeol went faster, if possible, and you hummed against his neck, but he took you by the hair and pulled you off him, "i wanna hear you say it."

You whined and shook your head, "i-i cant! It's em-embarassing.."

"Its only me, nothing to be shy about." He slowed his hips, barely moving at this point only now wanting hear you speak.

"N-no wait keep going please!" The legs around his waist tried pushing him back in but he stood his ground, still waiting.

"Say it, and then I'll make you cum all over my cock after."

Heat rose to your cheeks and you huffed, "....I l-love your c-cock.." this made him smile and coo at your cuteness. Chanyeol began again, gripping your hips and pushing in and out bringing you closer and closer to the edge. There wasn't a time where you weren't moaning with him, he was so good at pleasing you.

"You're such a good girl for me." He captured you lips in a heated kiss, biting your lowered lip every chance he got before pushing his tongue into your mouth. It was sloppy and so were his thrusts. That's how you knew he was close and you wanted to say something but he seemed to read your mind, "Cum for me, princess."

You didn't need to be told twice. You easily came around his length, blushing and squirming on the counter as your bliss slowly faded and Chanyeol was left, pulling out and finishing himself. He quickly came on your stomach, loving the way it dripped down you sweaty skin.

"So cute." He pinched your flushed cheeks. "But, do you smell burning?"

Your eyes widened before realizing you forgot the cookies in the oven, "Th-the cookies," you lifted a small shaky finger at the direction of the cookies.

Chanyeol, after lifting his boxers up, rushed to the oven. Turning it off, he took the now burnt cookies out, "Good thing we have more dough.."

"But those were for Santa." You cried.

"God, you're so innocent y/n."

Your head fell down to the mess on your stomach, still embarrassed yet not as much as before, "I'm not that innocent."

"You believe in Santa."

"What? Are you saying he isn't real?"

Chanyeol said nothing except press his lips into a small line.

"What!?"

Your heart may have been crushed and you may have felt like crying before your boyfriend spoke, "Merry Christmas!"

[beomglocks]

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: four.1 ,,,, next chapter / previous chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you’re forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 2.1k

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

"we are going to find more people y/n. we need to make up for beomgyu," taehyun spits. beomgyu walks up to him with anger taking over his features. "im still here you know! and i'd just hate for the kang taehyun to get bit because wouldn't that just be soooo fucking tragic! news flash, everyone's dead! you're not famous!"

"stop arguing!" you pull them apart but yeonjun shoves you away from them. "why? why should stop arguing?"

"we're all gonna die anyways," soobin says casually from his spot on the ground.

taehyun rolls eyes, walking straight into the library without any hesitation. "wait-" before you can warn him you all see something that makes you freeze.

you swear you remember that kid from somewhere. his fluffy hair is covering his eyes and instead of his baggy sweater covering his frame, it has ridden up to showcase his nonexistent abdomen. the zombies have absolutely ravaged the kid's body, leaving nothing but a lone carcass. there are still zombies lurking around his body, trying to feast on whatever part of him is left.

something beside the boy's body catches your eye and you realize who he is.

"ah shit," they mumble. you snap out of glaring at yeonjun to see a boy on the floor with books scattered around him. "shit im sorry! i should've been looking at where i was going," you apologize kneeling down to help the boy pick up his books.

"oh don't worry i shouldn't have taken up carrying so many books to the point where i couldn't see!" the boy's voice is so cheerful it makes you smile. you're glad he's not mad at you.

the boy is really cute too. his boyish features suit his face well and his hair is messy but looks like he stylized it that way. he's dressed comfortably in a huge sweater and baggy jeans with a molang keychain attached to one of the belt loops.

"where are you even going with all these books?" you ask. "i offered to take these back to the library for my english teacher, in hindsight i really should've just taken two or three not the whole stack." he chuckles sheepishly. he gets back up, picking up as many as he can.

you cover your mouth, trying not to let out an audible sob. even though you didn't know the freshman too well, this boy had left an impression on you with his cheeriness. that and the fact that this is the second time you've seen someone get eaten alive.

"hueningkai?" taehyun whispers. he takes several steps forward as if he's in a trance. "taehyun wait-"

"kai??" he raises his voice more but it cracks. the zombies in close proximity of you all snap their heads up at the sound of taehyun's voice. "tae we need to get out of here right n-"

"y/n!" you hear soobin call. you turn around to see beomgyu convulsing on the floor wildly. "w-what happened?" soobin shakes his head frantically. "he might be turning." you want to cry at the sight of your friend curled up in pain. you can tell he's trying to hold back his screams as to not draw attention to the group and get you all killed.

it's too late though because the zombies that were eating kai alive are now running towards you all. "what do we do?" yeonjun cries. you don't know what to do at this point. there's absolutely no saving beomgyu, who is currently turning. you go to grab taehyun's arm to at least try to save one person from your party but the zombie at the front of the group has already pounced on him. "NO!" you yell.

even though the zombie has sunk it's teeth into taehyun's ankle, you still try to drag him away in hopes of saving him. he's kicking at its face with the tiny sliver of strength he has left after being thrown to the floor. "don't worry taehyun im not leaving you," you huff.

you don't think you've ever had this much determination for anything ever. all you know is that someone's life is on the line and if you just try hard enough they might survive.

you're suddenly pulled back by your shirt when the entire group of zombies get to taehyun's idle body. "wait!" you reach out to him but it's too late. they've already began gnawing away at him. taehyun puts up a good fight but it's no use. there are too many of them.

he lets out a string of pained screams and all you can do is close your eyes.

"we have to go! we have to go," yeonjun screams. he shakes you to get you to get up but you have already given up. not one but three of the people who you've met have died. it hurts to know that they were once alive, smiling brightly with hope and life shining in their eyes.

it's not even the fact that prior to a zombie apocalypse happening you most likely gave no shits about these people but the stakes and circumstances have changed. of course now you care because you hoped they would love to see another day.

yeonjun sucks his teeth and picks you up. it takes a bit of extra strength on his part and he knows it'll slow him down tremendously but he doesn't care. "it's gonna be ok!" he reassures. you get a better view of soobin and beomgyu when he lifts you up and it makes you want to look away.

beomgyu's arm now has discolored veins that scale all the way up to him face. his eyes are glazed over and now white colored. you can see trances of dyed tears on his face but he's too far gone. he's dead and he's a threat to you all now.

"soobin r-!" yeonjun slaps his hand over you mouth so that you don't attract the zombies on taehyun to start going after you both.

soobin tries to hold his own against the now undead beomgyu and you can't exactly tell what's going on. yeonjun leads you away from the library and you can only hear a scream from who you assume is soobin.

"where are we going we can't just leave soobin behind like that!" you try to stand and halt the both of you but yeonjun harshly pulls you along. "yes we can and we will!" he barks. "there isn't a chance in hell that we could've saved him. it's us or him!"

he shoves you into the electrical room of the school. the door was thankfully unhinged otherwise the door would've remained locked.

there's nothing but silence minus the rapid breathing coming from you both. you go through what just happened and start to burst into tears, haphazardly wiping at your face but failing when more tears come down. yeonjun sighs, letting himself fall on the floor.

he doesn't even have time to rest before he hears a pounding coming from outside the door. "y/n? y-yeonjun? l-let me in!" you look over to yeonjun who's already looking at you wide eyed. "soobin?" you mumble. you go to stand but yeonjun launches himself at you. "hell no! soobin go away!" he yells.

"please open the door! they're coming! please!" soobin pleads. you shake your head, "yeonjun we have to help him please!"

yeonjun contemplates for a little bit longer than you'd like but he suddenly stands up. he gets to the door however he doesn't open it all the way. "are you bit? there's no way you came out of that unbitten."

soobin looks around unsure of himself. he grips onto his arm tighter from what you can see and you silently hope and pray he's not bit. however yeonjun also notices his suspicious behavior. "you're not coming in," he says. he starts closing the door again but soobin shoves past him.

yeonjun runs after him and tackles him to the ground. you look back at the door and you can hear the zombies that were following soobin approaching. you make a run for it to shut the door but yeonjun yells at you. "we have to leave it open for when i throw this asshole out of here!"

"but-" you wince when yeonjun punches soobin square in the face. it doesn't seem to phase the other boy as he growls and turns the tables on yeonjun. soobin has always been a bit stronger than yeonjun so it's no surprise that especially at this moment he's overpowering the other boy.

you rack your brain trying to come up with a logical plan. though you aren't being given many options. it's either wait until yeonjun manages to throw soobin out meaning you risk the group of zombies reaching you all or you lock yourself in the electrical room with an already bitten soobin.

you bite your lip watching soobin throw as many punches as he can with an unusable arm and yeonjun blocking them as best as he can. however, soobin was steadily getting weak and you could tell as well as yeonjun. with one swift push, soobin falls back onto the ground and yeonjun punches him again for good measure. 

you can't see them well in the dimly lit electrical room however with the sliver of light pouring in from the door being open you can somewhat make out yeonjun's face. soobin sure did a number on him. his nose is dripping blood and his lips are bruised and swollen. his eye is also bruised and swollen and you're not sure if he can even see from it. god, he looks miserable.

he looks up at you and spits some blood out from his mouth. "lets get him out of here," he mumbles. you watch him get off soobin but he stumbles a bit. "yeonjun please hurry i think the zombies are coming," you tell him. he groans but says nothing in response.

yeonjun picks soobin up but once he has soobin's arm around his shoulder soobin starts shuddering. "you're gonna turn soon," yeonjun mumbles. soobin chuckles in between his shaking, "you care about me all of a sudden. i thought we were sworn enemies?"

yeonjun rolls his eyes, "whatever." if this were happening at any other time you might have smiled at them. you smile sadly when the two boys reach you at the door. you lean down to soobin's hunched over state and hold his face in your hands. "im sorry," you say. he shakes his head but says nothing to you. 

"t-the gun," he mumbles in pain. you can see the veins starting to crawl up his shoulder and onto his neck now. "if we shoot you then the zombies that were after you are sure to start running towards here," yeonjun frowns. "soobin i don't think any of us are willing to k-kill you," you say as a tear rolls down your face. 

his head snaps backwards violently then he slumps forward. "please," he manages to croak out.

you shut the door, closing your eyes. "y/n..." yeonjun says. "we can't let him die as one of those- those things!" you shout. yeonjun sighs, putting soobin down onto the floor. "think about this, you're about to kill another living being!" 

"WHAT OTHER OPTION IS THERE?" you lash out. yeonjun stands there shocked at your outburst and the expression on his face makes you cry even harder than before. "what other option is there?" you cry softly.

you both look over to soobin who's now started convulsing on the floor. unlike beomgyu, this time he doesn't hold in his blood curling screams of pain. there isn't much time left before he turns.

you tentatively take the gun from his person and hold it up to his head. his eyes open momentarily and you see the fear in them flash through. he closes them tightly once again to brace himself and a tear rolls down his face. "i-im s-sorry," you cry. even as you hold the gun to his head, you hesitate. killing someone wasn't as easy as you thought. yeonjun walks up but not before wiping a tear from his face. "cmon."

he helps you hold the gun steady but removes your finger from the trigger. "close your eyes ok?" he whispers close to your ear. you sniffle, watching soobin struggle to keep his humanity. he opens and closes his eyes and keeps flinching and convulsing in different ways. you can tell he’s really in pain and not just because of his screams.

“im sorry soobin,” you cry. “im sorry!” you close your eyes tightly, waiting for yeonjun to pull the trigger.

you hold your breath and you can feel yeonjuns on the back of your head. his is nowhere near steady and you can’t imagine how he’s feeling having to kill another human being. his breathing is shaky and unsteady.

he tightens his grip on the gun and you feel his breath stop completely.

“three,” he mutters.

you’re sobbing uncontrollably at this point, unable to say the next number so he does it for you. “two.”

“one.”

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

taglist: @fxd-skz @jinniehyunjin @bluemoonnightmare @srcasticking-main @shuichi-sama @hyunjinsicedamerican0 @groovybiscuitdiplomatpeach @cutiegyu @gyyuniverse @strykiss @minari-iii @minheesmini @cha-raena @yuto-darling​ @hyunjinhasmyheart​ @whateveryouwant90 @peachy-maia @strawberryaourt @binniebutter​

[musubiki]

I wonder about one thing,, (tbh a few)

If witches love is that strong, and they can't fall out of it, NEVER, then why Mochi's aunt, Amantha Verna, tries to hunt Mochi and her mum?? I can't believe Amantha n Ellena(?)(Mochi's mom) never loved each other like sisters,, or cousin (i dun rlly know which one is it)

Or it is the reason why auntie sent Taffy on a 'killer rampage :3'~??

Another topic i want to talk about: what if magical creature fell for someone, but then got amnesia? (like-- amnesia amnesia, no memories, no feelings, etc.) Will they be able to fall for someone other than their 1st crush, or still be in love w/ them? (I know it also depends on how the 1st crush will act,[ like- stay away or b close] but lets forgot that for now..)

I wonder what would happen if magical creature will fall in love with someone, but hate their alter ego, not knowing who they are? Will hate just dissapear if they knew, or there will love n hate at the same time?? Or it depends on the person?

Sorry for so many long questions. Also sorry if i mistaken smth or misinterpreted, or wrote some things wrong english isn't my first language ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ(• ▽ •;) and haha, i'm proffesional (ships n OTP's) cospiracy theoritist, i got x2, maybe x3 more questions and theories, but i didn't wrote them cause they are already overthrown :')

Also,, me and my younger sister rlly love your style n drawings♡♡, how you color things, characters fasion,, and especially we are in love with how u draw heads profile💓ヾ(˙❥˙)ﾉ we were seriously squeaking seeing Lime or/and Mochi's ♡♡♡ xD

aaaa yes yes all good questions!!!

so first on the topic of mochis aunt: a little backstory first!! amanita (mochis aunt) and tiramisu (mochis mama) are not blood sisters!! tiramisu was adopted by grandma mocha (mochis grandma) at a young age, and was raised as her daughter!!! so while grandma mocha and tiramisu loved each other and loved amanita, amanita never loved her adopted sister (and as a result never loved or knew mochi), so thats why she has no problem killing them!! amanita is the older of the two, so as the oldest daughter, shes supposed to inherit the cat witchs power, but since shes been evil since she was a kid (or had evil tendencies), grandma mocha passed her power onto tiramisu instead. and ofc amanita was enraged and left her family and has spent the rest of her life growing stronger in other magic so she can take back the power that was rightfully hers!!

so tiramisu loves amanita (still) as a sister, but amanita HATES tiramisu, which is a good example of what kind of issues arise, because now tiramisu has a very hard time harming or killing her sister, but amanita has no issues sending her straight to the grave!! the plot with taffy began because amanita KNOWS that the cat witchs weakness is water, so who better to pit against her than the only child of the sea? ;3c

second, on the question of amnesia, the love doesnt go away!!! the mind forgets but the heart remembers, is how the witchs put it!! you have no idea who this person is or what they mean to you, but your heart races and your face flushes and for some reason you just trust them entirely, and you can FEEL that you love them despite not knowing a damn thing about them!! one of the laws of magic is that emotion cant be changed, by magic or otherwise. its one of the few things that are left untouched by the influence of magic!! they wont fall in (romantic) love with anyone else because their feelings are still geared toward whoever they loved before they lost their memories!!

last on that topic of alter egos: its like the situation with mochi and cat-ears!! another case of the mind saying one thing and the heart saying another - the witch KNOWS they love someone else, but cant help be drawn to this other person (said loved ones alter ego). its a lil funky how it works but they cant help it, somehow the heart just knows even though the mind doesnt. which is why mochi is capable of getting flustered around cat-ears because. its lime. she doesnt KNOW its lime, but i guess the love in her heart does?? for some reason none of the witches spellbooks point this out as a clue that the person behind the mask is someone you know (we leave it out for convince and plots sake - i cant imagine it happens very often enough to write about it in a spellbook. how many times is you significant other going to make an alter ego without you knowing and try to lie to you about it??)

ANYWAY THANKS FOR ASKING I HOPE THAT CLARIFIES A BIT!!!!!! IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY OCS AND FEEL FREE TO ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM!!!!! 💕😭

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[jenniferxprentiss]

The Press of Your Lips Against Mine (Everything Is Going To Be Just Fine) -> 1/6

JJ/Hotch; read it on ao3 here

The first time Hotch lets himself kiss JJ, they’re in a small hospital room while Emily is being operated on. They’re both in her room, a small thing with only enough room to fit a hospital bed and a couple of chairs, JJ pacing the floor and wringing her hands. She was distraught, didn’t want to show her worry in front of the rest of the team that was waiting in the family room. Hotch stood, caught JJ by the arm and pulled her into him, let his lips press insistently into hers, surprised when she melted into his touch.

hihihi, im back at it again w the fluff and kiss fics because I am SO SOFT FOR THIS SHIT. idk, hope u all like it!

tagging people I think may like this? idk? love u all!! @heat-waveee @whiskey-fluent @ssaemilyprentits @f-m27 @garcias-batcave @anepiphany @davidrossi-ismydad && whoever else my jotch peeps are, lmk and I’ll tag u xo

——————

It felt like they had been waiting for days, time stretching and lines blurring in the sterile, white hospital room. In all reality, Emily had only been in surgery for around an hour, but JJ couldn’t seem to quell her nerves.

She couldn’t get the image of Emily’s lifeless form out of her head — the way her head lolled to the side when the gurney jolted, doctors running down the hallway and pushing her away, off to surgery.

With a shaky exhale, JJ stood again, unable to handle sitting down any longer. She was full of nervous energy, palms sweaty and body shaking, face soaked with tears that just kept silently falling. She tried to offer Hotch a small smile, something of solidarity and bravery, but her watery smile broke, eyes knitting together as her face crumpled again.

Damn it, she didn’t want to cry anymore.

The room was barely big enough for her to move around in, barely enough space to turn circles and pace, just enough room for the missing bed and two small chairs. She sighed, scrubbing her hand over her face as she studied Hotch.

He was perched on the edge of the hard plastic chair, elbows resting on his knees with a broken expression on his face. She knew he was taking this just as hard as she was — both of them overcome with so much guilt and devastation at the prospect of losing Emily, of having let Doyle win one last time.

“Jayje…” Hotch cleared his throat, sitting up a little taller and letting his hand graze the side of JJ’s arm. “Do you need some air?”

“No!”

Her response came quick, voice firm yet shaky, loud and a bit of something she didn’t entirely recognize in herself. JJ didn’t want to see the rest of the team — didn’t know if she had the strength to handle their questions and worry. She could barely keep herself together and functional, let alone the rest of the team.

“I’m sorry.” She stopped in front of Hotch, shooting him a watery half smile, unsure of what to say or do. “I don’t think I can. Face them, I mean. Not yet.”

Hotch nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. He knew it wasn’t entirely that, it was that JJ didn’t want to miss the call from witsec — didn’t want to be left out of the loop. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, couldn’t quite figure out the right words because truthfully, he didn’t know that everything would be okay.

He sat back in his chair, fingers tightly gripping his cell phone as they waited, JJ still pacing around the room and fiddling with her necklace. It was a locket, something small and silver and heart shaped that Hotch had recognized when she started playing with it, noticed the way it brought fresh waves of tears trickling down her face.

“This isn’t fair.” JJ’s voice was small, broken. There was a fear in her eyes and a shake in her voice, trying so desperately to stop crying, just for a minute.

Hotch shook his head, at a loss for words. It wasn’t fair that Doyle had done this, that Emily was fighting for her life on an operating table, that she was going to have to leave the only family she knew because of him, and the thought made his heart break and another wave of tears spring to his eyes.

“We’re going to have to tell the team.” His voice was solemn, face still as stoic as ever.

There was so much hanging in that statement, they both knew it. They were going to have to tell the team that Emily died, no matter the outcome, that Doyle had taken one of their own. They couldn’t celebrate if everything turned out okay — couldn’t rejoice and embrace and thank god that they had gotten to her on time.

“I don’t want to think about that.”

“I know.”

JJ continued to pace around the room, chewing absently on her fingernails. They were bitten down as far down into the nail bed as she could get, drawing blood with every nervous jerk of her hands. It was the only thing she could do to ground herself, to ease some of the nervous energy that the tiny, sterile hospital room seemed to only amplify with its crisp white walls and emptiness.

After what seemed like forever, there was a gentle knock on the door that echoed around the room, stopped JJ in her tracks and made Hotch sit up a little straighter in his seat. They stared at the doctor as he walked into the room, and JJ’s eyes immediately flickered down to the splatter of blood across the side of his scrubs.

“You’re here for Agent Prentiss?”

JJ found herself unable to move or think, eyes still laser focused on the splatter of blood and the gruff man’s voice. She was thankful when Hotch nodded, cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, eyes focused on the doctor with a small, polite half smile painted on his face.

“She’s stable, in recovery now. She lost a lot of blood and she’ll have a long road of physical therapy ahead of her… but she’s okay. We’ll bring her down here once she wakes up.”

Time felt like it was standing still, and JJ could barely recognize her own voice when she thanked the doctor. They were left in a tense, numb silence when the door clicked shut. The silence was truly deafening, JJ’s ears ringing as she felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over her.

She staggered to the window, small and metal lined and barely big enough to see outside, but enough to ground her. Her fingers wrapped around the ledge, fingers shining with streaks of blood, her face crumpling as she tried so hard to stay composed. The relief and fear and guilt was too much, and she struggled to take a shuddering breath in, knowing that the sobs would follow.

Hotch was behind her, strong hand on her bicep, a feeling of comfort and strength and understanding. He knew how hard this was going to be for them — how much they were going to have to go through, unable to tell anyone else.

He pulled on her arm gently, pulled her towards him and brushed his thumb over the tears that continued to slip down her face — they had both been crying on and off since they found Emily. She let out a choked, strangled sob, one so full of relief and happiness, feeling her body melt into his, her hands grasping at his arms in an attempt to hold onto something real, something tangible.

She didn’t care that her fingers were staining the crisp white linen of Hotch’s dress shirt, didn’t care that she was leaning into his touch in a way she would never let herself for fear of breaking professionality. This was different, and nothing would be the same between them — between them and the team, for that matter.

“Jen…” His voice was watery, laced with unshed tears. “We’re going to be okay. Em is okay.”

JJ let her cheek lean into his hand, her fingers digging into his arms through the material of his shirt. There was a vague red flag thrown up in the back of her mind, that she shouldn’t be leaning into his touch or looking at his lips like that, but couldn’t bring herself to care. Not now, not with everything going on.

There was a tense silence for a moment, only the sounds of faint beeping from other rooms and JJ’s ragged, tear filled breathing between them. It was too silent, the room felt too suffocating, but they knew the moment they stepped out of there — stepped out of Emily’s hospital room — they would be planning a funeral for a friend they never lost, and Emily would be dead to the world.

In a brief moment of courage, Hotch felt himself lean down, lips brushing across JJ’s forehead before his eyes caught her lips. His free hand came to the back of her head, resting atop the tangled hair he found there, and pulled her into him, his lips covering hers in a gentle kiss.

She tasted of tears and the metallic tang of blood, her lips peeling and chapped, their lips fitting perfectly against each other’s. Hotch was surprised to feel JJ kissing back, fingers grasping at his biceps tightly.

After what felt like forever, they finally pulled apart, blushing and smiling shyly at each other. Hotch let out a breathy laugh, hand coming up to smooth out his hair before brushing the rest of the tears off of JJ’s face. There was no sense of awkwardness between them, as Hotch grabbed his suit jacket off of the chair and put it back on, JJ gazing at him with a small smirk playing on her lips.

It was better than tears, he reasoned to himself.

“We should go tell them… tell the team. Send them home before she’s out of recovery.”

His voice was firm, authoritative in a way that JJ appreciated in that moment. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to pull out the worst of the knots before grabbing a paper towel and wiping at her face, grimacing at the scratchy material. They were both stalling and she knew it — stalling because the moment they walked out of that room, things would never be the same.

Emily Prentiss was dead.

JJ felt a gentle hand on the small of her back, guiding her out of the room and down the hallway, felt the sting of fresh tears in her eyes as they rounded the corner into the family waiting area. The rest of the team was in a similar state of disarray — wringing their hands and pacing and crying — and JJ felt her stomach knot up in dread at the news they were about to deliver.

There was the gentle tickle of dancing fingers on the small of her back again, bringing a gentle smile to her lips. Hotch was there. He knew. They both knew. They were going to be okay — everything was going to be okay because they were okay, Emily was okay. The world was falling apart beneath them but there were few small points of solace she could find.

Emily Prentiss was dead to the world, but not to them.

[childhoodgrave]

whats dtl about ifff ud like 2 talk abt it i see cute sprites & decide i wanna know things.. hehe the top hat n cape guy gif is in sync w my music hehe

IM SO GLAD U ASKED this game is probsbly my favorite game ever its been a special interest if mine since i was 7 and i dont think its a GOOD game per se bt i love it a lot and it impacted me a lot as a little kid w a mild interest in art :)

so basically the game is a little 2d adventure platformer where u get to draw and design the character u play as. its p clunky and the way ur character moves looks rlly silly bt again this game was released in like 2010 on the ds so its ok .. the game also gave u templates to go off of and use too just in case u didnt want to design a character from scratch

the story of the first game is abt this world that was drawn into existence by “the creator” in the book of life. u hav this little sequence where u get to draw the world, and the forrests and the creatures tht wld inhabit it. the creatures tht inhabit the world are callec raposa and they r little fox creature w funny ears :)

like this guy (his name is zsasha and hes a thief but hes like a bad one who ends up returning all of the stuff he steals and also watching over a little orphan girl who he basically adopts LOL)

in the universe if the game the “creator” eventually went silent and the raposa lost hope in them ever returning. the world was slowly shrouded in darkness and gradually all of the raposa inhabiting this little village were either lost or left on purpose bc it was slowly falling apart. the game starts when one of the remaining raposa, mari, prays to u, the creator, to come back and help restore her village, saying that everyone else has lost hope but she still believes you can return to her. u can answer, and either say that u will help or you wont, but either way u end up agreeing to help her and she goes to tell her dad, the mayor, abt it. you create a “hero” to be the vessel you will speak thru, and thats the character u end up designing and playing as. the game is abt going to various areas from the village and rescuing all of the raposa that are lost there, as well as restoring the village to what it used to be and drawing in bits of the landscape, like the sun and plants and stuff.

the villain of the story is a guy named wilfre, who was another villager in the town who ended up drawing in the book of life bc he wanted to create things the way the creator had. he ended up making these big inky monsters and got consumed by them, and when u meet him at the beginning of the game he tears up a bunch of pages in the book of life which get scattered across the land and you have to collect them in order to restore the village.

so u basically just go around saving villagers, collecting pages of the book of life, and redrawing bits of the town that were lost to wilfres shadows. eventually wilfre ends up like, killing maris dad (the mayor) and then after youve restored a majority of the village you enter his realm and kill him!! yay :)

throughout the game you also meet these two weird npcs called heather and mike. heather is a little raposa girl who has half of her face covered in shadows, and shes mostly mute. shes found early on in the game and is taken care of by another one of the main characters named jowee

mike is a character u end up rescuing later on in the game, hes p confused and doesnt know how he got where he is, and hes also different from the other raposa bc he doesnt have ears like they do and kind of just looks like a normal human (even tho none of the raposa know what that is and they just think he looks rlly weird)

in the first game heather is shown to take a liking to mike but it isnt explained why and she doesnt talk to its left unexplained

so yah the first game ends with you, the hero, defeating wilfre. mari takes on the role of her father and becomes mayor of the town, and all of the raposa (+ mike) live happily in the town youve restored. the hero goes dormant because theyre no longer needed and u get a scene at the end of the game w them sitting by the ghost of maris father.

the SECOND game takes place a while after the first game, in which wilfre returns and captures heather at the beginning of the game. he also kidnaps a bunch of the other villagers and transports them somewhere else, and he drains the color out of the village the raposa were in. they end up fleeing on a giant turtle with an abandoned town on its back that appears while the color is draining from the village. inside mari and jowee find another mannequin similar to the one the creator had drawn the hero on in the first game. they pray to the creator for help and thats when u draw the hero u get to play as for that game!! the hero doesnt seem to remember mari and jowee or any of the events of the first game, but they agree to help them rescue heather and all of the villagers wilfre stole.

jowee also has like, this magic pendant that belonged to heather that he found after wilfre took her, which seems to be leading them to where heather is. they use that to navigate the turtle thru the ocean to a bunch of other islands on the world. the second game is basically about traveling to different islands and helping them restore the color thats been drained out of them by wilfre. you also meet these two characters, salem

who is a villain in the first island u travel to, and sock

who is a villager on the first island u visit who ends up befriending jowee and traveling with them while they try to save heather.

so ur doing all of that but THEN, halfway thru the game mari is shown to be talking to wilfre, and then she dissapears. jowee assumes wilfre has captured her too, but shes later seen on the turtle again, and rips out a bunch of pages in the book of life the way wilfre did in the first game, and then wilfre appears to take her away and says that shes working with him now. jowee is heartbroken but resolves to get her back as well as heather

THEN, sock, jowees friend from the first island whos been tagging along and helping out, is ALSO revealed to be wilfre in disguise and he betrays jowee and steals heathers pendent, leaving jowee with basically no means of finding heather and wikfre and mari by extension.

so eventually they do end up finding where wilfre is and mari is like “jowee you dont understand wilfre has shown me the truth of our world and who the creator is and thats why im helping him” and jowee is like “i cant believe yoy are helping him how could you i cant believe you bla bla bla” and so wilfre is like “FINE ill show you the TRUTH of this world” and takes jowee and then the hero is kind of left ln their own for a bit to like wander around the world and try to keep rescuing ppl and such. and eventually jowee comes back and is like shaken up but kind of vague abt what wilfre showed him, but he still decides to side with the hero and the creator and eventually mari is convinced by him to join them again as well

so u fight wilfre again and EVENTUALLY wilfre reveals that if you defeat him basically the entire world will dissapear and thats what hes been trying to avoid by fucking w things and messing with the book of life. so all of the raposa have a bunch existential crisis abt them ceasing to exist if they go thru with this but then they decide to to it anyway bc the alternative is just as bad blah blah and u go and kill wilfre and he does this when he dies which is cool

[the gif was fuckjng broken im sorry but like look up his sprites and youll fjnd it 💔]

and now heather is back!! and her and mari and jowee are all talking about mike and how important he is and meanwhile mike has no clue whats going on and is kind of freaked out by all of this, but theyre all like “mike you need to wake up” as theyre all fading out of existence and shit around him and eventually him and heather are the only ones left and they dissapear too

and THATS when you get the ending and find out it was all like a dream mike was having while he was in a coma after a car crash anx this plays while the credits role lol https://youtu.be/Kur0qaYM1jM

^ they ended up releasing different versions oft he game w a less dark (but still w the whole ‘it was all a dream twist’) and thats it!!

there was also another game released for the wii that like gave wilfre a girlfriend kind of but i never played it to completion bc it used the wii remotes motion controls to like draw and shit and it was rly janky and hard so i never finished it and most ppl did the same. i kind of rlly want to try playing it again tho bc it was a p cute looking game even if the controls were fucked up

AND YEA thats drawn to life its a weird silly little series tht i was obsessed w when i was a kid and it still holds a special place in my heart :) i basicaly just spoiled the entire series i guess but if u have a ds or a 3ds (bc the game is backwards complatible ! ) id still suggest like getting a cartidge off ebay or something and playing it bc its honestly a rlly sweet and beautiful looking game and i think a lot of it still homds up even if the controls r rlly janky now

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 82

[Date: 16/03, 08.05 PM GMT - 16/03, 08.23 PM GMT]

CONTENT WARNING: Mild body horror

[Direct continuation of pt 81]

Maxwell: “god im gonna have to take the towel of my head arent i....”

Jack the Observer: “do it”

fetch: “God can everybody shut up and quit making the panic worse you're scaring him”

Little-K1ng: “fetch, check his head for me? i cant see right now”

kateza: “max, no one is going to be angry at you, ok?”

fetch: “yeah lemme chexk”

Maxwell: “...okay...”

fetch: “yeah lemme see here

...

guys

oh my god guys

you fucking idiots

you scared him over nothing.

those "metallic buds" were literally just tangled locks of hair.”

Little-K1ng: “oh my goD haahha,, ow,, thats kind of hilarious”

Maxwell: “fetch.....”

fetch: “ohhh my fucking god

max its okay”

Jack the Observer: “i don't believe you.”

Maxwell: “no...”

fetch: “its nothing, you're fine”

Maxwell: “I'm not i know what i saw--”

Little-K1ng: “here, max. your hair is kinda straggly, when im feeling better, do you want me to help you style it a little? i dont know how you prefer your hair”

fetch: “max, trust me. the reason it hurts so much is because your hair is matting and its pulling on your scalp”

Jack the Observer: “no no no no no no n on ononono”

Maxwell: “fetch the light was glinted off it”

fetch: “your hairs been greasy, plus you got it wet in the shower”

Maxwell: “But theyre right there

I CAN FEEL THEM”

fetch: “yeah, you can feel your matted tangled hair”

Little-K1ng: “im gonna go put on some coffee,, if yall can stop yelling please”

fetch: “i promise you're fine. i had to deal with mats for a while, this is exactly what mine looked like”

Maxwell: “then mona would be able to see it

no fetch you have to look

behind my ears”

fetch: “I am looking.”

Little-K1ng: “ill help untangle it later when i feel better and the migraine stops sending shooting pains through my eyes, but it could be that max is just frightened from what he saw”

fetch: “and what I see is matted hair”

Little-K1ng: “can someone else help me measure these coffee grounds i cant see it properly :((”

Maxwell: “matted hair isnt gold”

fetch: “max, buddy. you've been having headaches and haven't been sleeping well, and the whole situation with the trial scared you. you're probably just seeing things.”

Maxwell: “i.....i know im not

THE PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL SAW THEM”

kateza: “i mean we definitely shouldn't just be brushing him off”

fetch: “max, c'mon. it's fine”

Little-K1ng: “arent kids at your school like super mean”

[fetch: “max, c'mon. it's fine”]

Jack the Observer: “you're starting to sound like knight.”

kateza: “i believe max”

Maxwell: “they kept saying all day my hair was puffing out and right before I left one of my friends said it looked like I had something shiny in my hair”

kateza: “is there any way you can get like... a picture of them?”

Maxwell: “i-i can draw them”

Jack the Observer: “that would be lovely”

Raeva: “Did you touch them Max? Because you can't touch halucinations”

[Jack the Observer: “you're starting to sound like knight.”]

fetch: “don't you fucking dare compare me to him.”

Maxwell: “YES I CAN FEEL THEM”

kateza: “So they're something tangible”

Little-K1ng: “hey hey hey hey hey pleas e stop ye ll in g”

Maxwell: “here one momen t ima draw it”

Raeva: “Then he's telling the truth!”

fetch: “you're all just scaring everybody and making everything worse”

Maxwell: “crap sorry sorry sorry i didnt mean to yell please dont be mad”

fetch: “not mad at you, buddy”

Maxwell: “here here here”

fetch: “im just trying to get everyone to calm down”

Maxwell: “like little rose buds”

fetch: “yeah, dude, its matted hair. what you think are little leaves are just tangled bits”

Little-K1ng: “i dont have enough brain power to dedicate to it if fetch says its fine, but max? its alright that you're scared. im not telling you theres nothing there, im telling you to take care of yourself and understand that i am proud that you took the towel off to show us”

Maxwell: “i...thank you but please....why cant you all see it”

Little-K1ng: “i didnt look”

Little-K1ng: “i can feel the back of your head, but it just feels like some little hard chunks of something. it couldbe hair, it couldbe metal, but my senses are massively overloaded and i cant tell the difference”

Maxwell: “okay okay uh do you have a brush?”

Little-K1ng: “...i keep my hair short

kateza: “Mona's not feeling well so it's probably not a good idea to have her check”

fetch: “guys I can tell you that max is fine. nothing is wrong and all you're doing is scaring him so please just stop it so we can help untangle his hair

Jack the Observer: “no.”

Maxwell: “.....”

Jack the Observer: “please consider that you may be in the wrong.

please consider that you may be in the wrong.”

Little-K1ng: “jack, have you considered that maybe you'rejust as scared as max is? i didnt really meet syd, but i know you two were close”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, i am fucking scared. we've lost people to this shit before. it is better that Max is scared than that he gets taken."

fetch: “for fucks sake”

Jack the Observer: “it is better to be fucking safe than sorry. If anything, Crown's taught us that we can't trust ourselves.”

fetch: “we aren't going to fucking lose him

quit catastrophizing”

[Jack the Observer: “yeah, i am fucking scared. we've lost people to this shit before. it is better that Max is scared than that he gets taken."]

Little-K1ng: “correction, in this specific case. you've lost people to specifically this circumstance. it makes sense you would be scared for him, and i understand your struggle here. but i think we should calm down first”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, we won't if you fucking trust him about his own pain??”

kateza: “Would you rather not do anything and find out one morning that Max is gone? Or would you rather believe him, find out that nothing is actually wrong, and then move along?”

fetch: “FOR FUCKS SAKE JIST DROP IT.”

kateza: “... fine.”

Maxwell: “AH”

[Little-K1ng: “correction, in this specific case. you've lost people to specifically this circumstance. it makes sense you would be scared for him, and i understand your struggle here. but i think we should calm down first”]

Jack the Observer: “we. have. all. lost. people. to. this. you have lost Fetch twice.”

Little-K1ng: “please dont yell, fetch, fuckjing o w”

fetch: “EVERYTHING IS FINE YOU ALL ARE PANICKING OVER NOTHING”

kateza: “Sure, whatever. Don't blame us when Max is gone and Page is back.”

Little-K1ng: “fetch please”

Jack the Observer: “yeah, next you're going to tell us that we're "barking too loudly"”

Renboo: “fetch calm down everyones just worried”

Grimm: “Jack,,”

Jack the Observer: “...”

fetch: “fine. you wanna keep scaring the shit out of everybody over some tangled fucking hair, fine. i need to check outside anyway”

Raeva: “istg You don't just touch hallucinations but fine have it your way sorry Max we tried”

[kateza: “Sure, whatever. Don't blame us when Max is gone and Page is back.”]

Maxwell: “......

fetch wait...”

Little-K1ng: “fetch...?”

kateza: “i don't want you to get snatched again, max.”

dreaming: “fuck.. we shouldn't have be so aggressive, i just wanted fetcg to believe max..”

Marcus: “Why are you all yelling”

dreaming: “uh..”

Little-K1ng: “oh, hi Marcus”

dreaming: “who's gonna explain”

Maxwell: “....hi....”

Little-K1ng: “i thought you were sleeping, guess fetch woke you up”

Marcus: “When did I fall asleep what the hell I was just making breakfast”

Renboo: “fighting really doesnt ever get us anywhere-..”

kateza: “hi marcus, max found buds growing out of his head”

Maxwell: “.....”

[kateza: “hi marcus, max found buds growing out of his head”]

Marcus: “Really blunt today huh?”

Jack the Observer: “fetch is being. stubborn. and max is being honest for once only to immediately get yelled at. kinda frustrated about that.”

Marcus: “Don’t you think”

kateza: “We can't just dance around this”

Marcus: “Maybe max wanted a chance to tell me information

About his own wellbeing”

Little-K1ng: “yeah... i was gonna say”

Marcus: “Fetch just stormed out

Monas not feeling well

you’re all yelling

About someone’s personal information”

kateza: “...

sorry”

Marcus: “Mona go lay down”

kateza: “I'll just

go”

Marcus: “I got Max it’s okay”

Maxwell: “marcus....its fine...i would have had a hard time explaining anyway”

Little-K1ng: “((peace sign))”

[scige-alt]

LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that saige beaumont i see? the 21 year old criminal psychology / linguistics student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be blithe, energetic, evasive and irrational, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

snjdfg these took so long i’m so sorry but anyways please LIKE and i’ll slide into yr IMs for plots !!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.