#im trying so hard to not say i hate her because ik i dont

[ifwdominicfike]

you try to get guitarist!matt to listen to one taylor swift song since he apparently “hates” her music

── .✦. ──

“matt im telling you, one song wouldn’t hurt you. or are you just too scared you’ll like it?” you felt the chillest breeze outside and decided to play folklore on repeat because who wouldn’t? anyway, matt was fed up with hearing about “some girl complaining about her failed relationships” but you couldn’t care less.

“sweetheart, it’s literally just the same song but about a different guy. she’s too overplayed i don’t get how you like that shit” he scoffs, making his way around the couch. “everyone says that though, you’ve only heard her pop songs that why — her other songs are masterpieces. all of her lyrics are basically me.” you sarcastically say — but not really.

as he sits down on the cushion you scoot your way over to him, laying your head on his shoulder. “pleaseee just one song? i promise you’ll like it, well hopefully i dont know.” you ask with a smile, he lets out a sigh and finally agrees. “yeah sure come on, show me this song then sweetheart.”

you now have the biggest smile on your face and get up from your comfortable position, and turn to make your way to your shared room to grab headphones “wait here” you excitedly say, as if he would vanish the second you were gone.

when you came back with the black bulky headphones he was already looking your way, smiling at your excited state. “this better be good if you’re this happy about this, if i don’t like the song and its some girly girl pop shit, m’clowning your ass for it.” he jokes when putting on the headphones and adjusting them, you were a little nervous — it was obviously something he would never in a million years listen to on his own but he always shows you his music so whats the worst that can happen ?

you figured why not something from your favorite album of hers, folklore. you were going through the tracklist trying to figure out which song until you were pulled out of your thoughts by matt groaning. “come on sweetheart, m’falling asleep over here” he fakes yawns and rubs at his eyes. “shush i have the song ready, now listen its my favorite!”

you click on the song and look up at him to watch his reaction, you obviously can’t hear the music but you already know how it goes “i’ve been having a hard time adjusting, i had the shiniest wheels now they’re rusting.”

as the song continues to play you can see matt swaying a little, you smile when you notice the amusement on his face. the bridge of the song starts up and he stops all movement, listening carefully as the lyrics spew into his ears. he looks over at you in disbelief, jaw dropped as the song now fades out and he’s slipping off the headphones.

“sweetheart thats you’re favorite song?” he says sniffling “well y-yeah? why is it bad?” you ask confused “no, not at all- s’just really fucking sad” he said chuckles before pulling you into a hug “if y’think thats sad then i need to show you more”

“her music s’not that bad i guess..” he says sarcastically “matt please- you were damn near crying i don’t wanna hear it.”

- avery’s note ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡-

i love folklore. i AM folklore. anywayyy new blurb!!! im so happyyyy i finally finished ONE of my drafts 😭😭

wait omg i forgot to tag you @bluestriips ik you like guitarist!matt !!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @ellaapsworld @chrissv4mp @jetaimevous @mattsbrowser @submattenthusiast @flouvela @sturniolosiphone @chrislova @sophand4n4 @mattsfavoritestar @mattslolita @y3sterdaysproblem @strnilolover @cayleeuhithinknott

[kawoala]

IM SO SHY SENDING THIS RN OMG

Just saw you want requests, and I was thinking (not something good for me, btw) 😇😇 about 😇😇 kita w a really shy!reader and he asks the miya brothers for help, and they say that he should flirt w reader 😭😭😭

IK YOU DONT REALLY WRITE FOR KITA AND THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU BUT I LOOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEEDDDDDD WHEN YOU WROTE MY LAST REQUEST W HIM IT WAS SO GOOD I WAS SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP RAINBOWS IT WAS SOOOOO GOOODDDD UUUGHHHH

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀 year and a half word count ; (719) content warning ; (request, more fluff haha, social anxiety! reader, asking someone out, advice from the miyans)

You’re nervous. But, for you, that’s normal. Your fingers are in your lap as you tug at your fingers— a response to your constant anxiety. Your classmate is almost finished with their presentation, meaning that you’re up next. Your heartbeat quickens. You hate speaking in front of the class.

Beside you, Kita bounces his leg. You know it’s not out of nervousness, like it would be for you. He’s always relaxed like that. You’re not sure if he’s ever been nervous in his entire life. His fingers drum against his desk. He looks bored.

Your classmate finishes their presentation and a round of applause startles you out of your nervous haze. Kita clears his throat and stands. You do the same.

After you finish the presentation, you realize you were making a much bigger deal than you should have been— like always. Your face is hot when you sit down and you know your cheeks are a different color than the rest of your face.

You lay your forehead down on the table and let out a weak sigh.

Kita knows you get nervous. He knows you get nervous, because he likes to stare. He knows you get nervous because of the way you change color so fast, the way you pull on your fingers. He knows because he likes to pay attention.

You started at Inarizaki in the middle of his second year. Almost immediately, he recognized just how smart you were. You didn’t advertise it like others, but your grades were always the highest in the class. He also recognized that you were beautiful. Kita had never been one for crushes, but he knew that what he felt for you was a crush.

Throughout the next year and a half, he had tried to get your attention. He had gone out of his way to try and get your attention. But nothing seemed to work. 

He would make you food under the guise of simply “making too much” and you would refuse to take it, saying that he might need it after practice.

At least you knew he was on the volleyball team.

When he would ask for help on his homework— even though he didn’t need it— you would tell him of another classmate that was far better at teaching things.

All of his attempts were unsuccessful and it was driving him crazy. So, the day of your presentation, Kita goes to the twins for help. He knows it’s a bad idea, but what has he got to lose?

“Ya gotta impress her, Kita-san,” Atsumu says, popping a potato chip in his mouth. “Girls like it when you do impressive shit.”

“No, you gotta be straightforward,” Osamu says with a sigh, shaking his head. “Girls like her— shy girls, I mean— gotta be told straight up, or they’re going to think you’re just being nice.”

Kita takes Osamu’s advice, because even though Atsumu seems like a ladies man, Osamu has had two girlfriends and Atsumu has had none.

So, the next day, after class, Kita asks you to wait a moment. When everyone has left the class, he turns to you and takes a deep breath. “Do you want to go on a date with me, Y/n?”

He watches you blink a couple times, watches your face change colors, and briefly wonders if he should have taken Atsumu’s advice instead.

“Um, me?” You ask, pointing at yourself. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and look away from him. “I don’t… Is this a prank? It’s not very funny, Kita-san. You’re supposed to be the nice one.”

Kita doesn't know what that’s supposed to mean, and he doesn’t want to. “It’s not,” he says simply. “I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out for the last year and a half.” You look up now and he smiles softly. “It’s not a prank.”

Again, you blink dumbly. He can hear when you swallow. “Okay,” you whisper, nodding. “I mean, yes. That sounds, um, fantastic.”

Kita’s smile grows and he nods triumphantly. “Okay. I’ll text you the details tonight, alright?”

You nod again and, that night, when Kita goes to practice, he gives Osamu a firm handshake and makes Atsumu run three laps for the objectively dumb advice he had given.

[rab1darachn1d]

bsd trans/queer headcanons for trans visibility day!!(PLS FEEL FREE TO ADD UR OWN I LOVE SEEING PPLS HEADCANONS)

-I see Dazai and Fyodor as both agender in a "im not exactly cis but i also dont exactly give a fuck anymore" Dazai more so because he has a hard time figuring out gender n shit like that and Fyodor bc he cant be bothered to think about that stuff(IM PROJECTING<3)

-I think Nikolai would be genderfluid or gender queer or would not care for labels at all and would use literally ANY fucking pronoun(Maybe hed feel like labels n shit were too constricting??? idk my tranny brain clung so hard to his whole "feeling like a bird trapped in a cage")(IK ITS NOT INHERENTLY TRANS IM NOT TRYING TO MAKE IT TRANS PLS DONT COME AFTER ME I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS)

-Chuuya and Kunikida are transmasc. no explanation needed(i could go on for HOURS dude you dont understand)

-Nonbinary Gin ofc ofc, how they present depends on the day and i dont think theyd care about pronouns(I believe its canon they prefer to be seen as masc in the mafia for safety reasons?) I could also see them as gender queer

NOW HEADCANONS THAT DONT HAVE HARD REASONING AND I JUST THINK ARE NICE<3

-Lippmann being genderfluid or genderqueer

-Albatross being nonbinary(uses they/he)

-Akutagawa being unlabeled and doesn't care much about pronouns(he has worse things to worry about so i dont think hed give it much thought?)

-Kouyou being transfem

-I could see Atsushi testing out abunch of different labels(he was never taught abt queer stuff in the orphanage and so now hes just tryna figure shit out)

-Rimbaud being gender queer

-T4T Ranpoe guys you dont understand how happy they make me I HATE THEM

-Agender Tetchou and Pangender Jouno is funny to me, it wouldn't be on purpose itd just be a very funny coincidence

-Transfem Lucy and Anne being inspo for her transition makes me sob(I LOVE LUCY I NEED TO TALK ABT HER MORE SHES SO <333)

-following that T4T Atsulucy brings me joy, they could share their experiences "not feeling quite right" when they were both in the orphange

-Trans masc Sigma who will dress both masc AND fem(too all transmasc who dress fem and all transfem who dress masc you guys r so valid<33 your choice of clothes does not dictate your gender and violently bite those who say it does<3)

-Kenji would identify as male but would use any pronouns and not care how people perceive him, I dont think itd bother him as long as everyone is happy and no one fights over it

AND THOSE R ALL I HAVE HAPPY TRANS VISIBILITY DAY<3 REMEMBER THESE ARE ALL HEADCANONS AND SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN SUPER SERIOUSLY I JUST THINK THESE ARE NEAT AND MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

[freakinator]

based on the anons, it looks like people think you hate kab because they’re misinterpreting your crit posts about her character

i mean i get it cause a good chunk of ls fans and esp kab fans are twitter users and thats just the culture over there ig while over here we generally try to avoid prying into the ccs irl business and just default assume we're talking about characters/personas/kayfabe/rpf (like. doing ls! just to indicate youre talking about the character and not the cc as opposed to just differentiating different server personas was just. not a thing before s6) but at the same time i think if ppl see me repeatedly complaining about ableism and think its unwarranted hate then. well. that says a lot doesnt it

ik some think im targetting her or whatever when i just. dont. it just so happens that shes been doing things i oppose at a very frequent basis and its hard to ignore or brush off something when its been done constantly and esp when its a known pattern of behaviour of the ppl on the server that theyve been long criticized for and yet gets very frequently brushed off by her fans cause they just. dont fucking get it ig

[vypridae]

9!!! 10!!! 11!! 12!! 13!!! or pick and choose <3

IDK WHICH FANDOMS U MEAN BUT IM GONNA DO EACH ONE AND ILL JUST PUT MY HAZBIN/HELLUVA ANSWERS UNDER A CUT SO U DONT HAVE TO SEE THEM

9. worst part of canon

ok the worst part of dgrp canon has to be the way they handle characterization, like especially with trauma. specifically in mind i have korekiyo rn, like they mega rushed his entire Thing and wrote it in a way that paints HIM in a terrible awful light when it very likely (or definitely) wasnt that at all, but the way it was written just fucks up so, so much. also the Danganronpa Repitition TM (flashbacks to

bsd uuuh oh my god i have to think about this one cuz i love bsd with a passion BAHAHA its hard to find flaws with that one (in part i havent consumed the media in forever), ik it might be just bc the series is still being written but its irritating that some things from like the first seasons are just not touched upon again? and maybe its because ihavent read the manga but like. did atsushi join the ada and suddenly the bounty on his head is just Gone? am i misremembering if they went back to that or not its been like a year since ive watched bsd i need to rewatch it but thats about all i can think of. im not even mad about the not killing any characters because fyodor is alive still

10. worst part of fanon

dgrp has a TERRIBLEEEE shipping fandom. i hated oumasai for the longest fucking time because i encountered this one rper way back when that like was a mega red flag SBGJKFDHGKA i hated them for a while after that (then they grew on me). you get shit on for liking, like, the more toxic ships in the fandom no matter your reasonings or whatever, and i feel like its just a really negative place to be a shipper that likes to explore bad dynamics (such as i)

i think the worst part of bsd fanon is similar. shipping sides of fandoms are ALWAYS bad i feel like, and there are a lot of people that will be like "skk is real fuck you for shipping anything else" or like "if u ship nikolai with anyone but fyodor i dont trust u" or something like??? its a fucking ship chill out its fictional it doesnt hurt anyone irl CALM DOWN

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

for bsd uh . only two surprisingly, and its two ships that i cannot physically make myself like?? thats all apparently

for dgrp i have uuh two and its literally also only two ships that i dont like BHASFKAHSK

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

for bsd am i allowed to say fyodor? idk if he necessarily counts as "unpopular" but i see way more hate of him than i see people liking him, but god fucking dammit i love him with my whole heart. hes so evil and those kinds of characters litearlly just make me gravitate towards them, hes so smart and cunning and you can do so much with his character, especially learning his ability oh my god? jhes so complex and i love him

for dgrp, i feel like every character is "unpopular" BAHSAJKAHk but for this i think i wanna go with chiaki. people hate chiaki because shes "boring" or at least they Did back when i first got into the series but shes so different in the game compared to the anime because the game shes based on her classmates' memories of her! shes only this "perfect" individual because thats how her entire class saw her, like she was made the class rep for a reason

13. worst blorboficiation

ok this one im trying to figure out what the fuck the definition is BAHAJSHFAJK from what im SEEING its like, the character that doesnt deserve to be liked as much as they are. (i dont think i answered this one correctly but shh its fine)

for bsd thats really hard for me to think of because i like literally every character but uuh if i had to say one ig i'd say uuh . maybe dazai? i feel like this is in part because people typically take away from dazai's entire complex everything because he's too complex for a lot of people (including me) to truly understand, like im not saying i understand him but i feel like a lot of people will take the wrong parts of him/exclude anything they dont like about him and go with that? if that counts but idk i still like dazai so i cant say that too much

for dgrp its the exact same situation with kokichi. they take his character, of which is incredibly complex, and dumb it down into the typical fandom woobification of "uwu baby who cant do anything wrong" LIKE!!! STOP!!! NO HE IS NOT!!! HE IS SO COMPLEX AND YOU'RE LIKING HIS CHARACTER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!!! people that dont understand the complexity behind certain characters and are incapable of taking that as their blorbo and instead creating this silly incorrect version in their mind and making THAT their blorbo i just. thats not ur blorbo atp thats ur oc my guy

hazbin/helluva answers

9. worst part of canon

both of these shows are kinda not the best when it comes to being serious???? like there are some topics that shouldnt be joked about i feel like, and there are points in the shows that joke in relation to these topics. also theres not enough voxval but thats a criticism for another time

10. worst part of fanon

not even just the ships tbh, its liking any character thats either painted in a negative light or is just generally unpopular. the ships too but i could get to that another time. for EXAMPLE, me, i like valentino. a lot. he's one of my favorite characters. i feel like i cannot express the fact i love val because i will get called an ACTUAL rapist for saying it because "if you like val you condone his actions and thus are a rapist/terrible person/etc" when thats absolutely not at all how it works. i acknowledge that val is terrible, i understand that its bad, but i can still enjoy him as a character otherwise. his actions are what i dont like, ive never liked him (i actually hated him at first because of it but then i saw him being more silly in the series with vox and he grew on me), but you will actively get told to kys if you say that you even REMOTELY enjoy vals character

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have none for helluva but for hazbin i have four. three of which are for the sAME SHIP and one is another ship i dont like

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIMZYYYY dude she gets so much unnecessary hate. like, everyone sees her as annoying and terrible and i GUESS i can see where they're coming from but a. theyre in hell, everyone's terrible, b. people just see her as annoying because she interrupted hells greatest dad and they dont like that because they want their radioapple song or wtvr. i love her and no one can convince me otherwise

13. worst blorboficiation

ok THIS one i might actually be able to answer with the correct definition of blorboification. i feel like alastor gets way too much unnecessary love, and maybe thats just because i think hes too popular for being what he is but hes just not all that to me. like, hes a good character, yes, but some people like him to an extent that i feel like doesnt do him justice?? its like i said with uuuuuh the dgrp side of this question, they dumb down his character a lot and are just generally bad at making him ACCURATE to the point its irritating. (hey so yk how i said i could answer with the right definition of this i lied)

[1eos]

Hi, just read your post about immigrant mothers ruining their kid's jobs. My mother is not an immigrant but she's asian and she cannot for the life of her be considerate with my previous job situation.

I earned 2k monthIy. It's quite low bc we're poor and I have to use half of my pay to support my family. So I decided to take this remote part time job for savings (not just for me but for the family also) and bc of that I am almost in front of my laptop 24/7. It's a report writing job and usually I would have 2 reports weekly to be submitted within 4 days.

My mother hated that I am always in my room doing work and would get so angry because "I listen to the employers more than her". She would make me do a lot of house chores when she knew I was tired from work just to spite me, saying that in the house I do the least chores???? Yeah bc I have a deadline to catch OMG.

Usually I would plan my week for the reports but then she would make me drive her for errands etc and would guilt trip me if I don't do so. Because of this I would stay up all night trying to finish the report just so that she won't throw a fit. Also, I have 2 other brothers who have a lot of free time but just for gaming, not for chores.....but somehow I'm the bad guy......which also makes me believe all asian mothers are "boy moms" but that's for another day.

The problem about these mothers is not because they don't understand their children. It's because they DO NOT WANT to. Because if they do, it means they have to listen/cater to you; not the other way around. They rather die than doing THAT.

first n foremost i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate that you're going thru this :(. it's truly thee worst to be sabotaged by a mother its truly so insidious and too many ppl in this day and age think its cute or like something we just have to suffer thru bc hey that lady gave birth to us and helped raise us. like the idea that GIRLS --bc they rarely if ever do this to sons--are literally put on earth to toil and suffer and serve their mothers, brothers, aunties etc until some man comes along and then u serve him w no thought or care for ourselves until we die is sooooooooo pervasive.

like its so sad that in 2024 you have someone purposefully going out of her way to sabotage your hustle :(((((((((((((((((( and i won't do the annoying 'just move out!' bc trust me ik how hard it is to move out right now!!!!!!!!! i will say i hope you maintain the strength and energy to persevere thru the sabotage 😐 you will win. misogyny will not win! m*thers who are mad that their daughters aren't just rolling over to be the family doormat. and its like? you'd think they'd be happy but that post partum jealousy is something else i'll tell you that

i still remember being a kid and my mom waiting until i was totally asleep to force me awake to put two dishes in the dish washer?????? and would be yelling and totally pissed off that im not standing at attention to do the dishes at 11pm 😭😭😭😭😭 bitch i was in literal rem sleep why are u screaming at an unconscious child? just lacking control or excitement in their own lives and take it out on their daughters its fucking sick

bc you're right lolllll its not that they 'dont understand' they deadass do not want to. which is why i don't believe in extending grace for bad mothers in a lot of these situations bc why the hell do i have to put myself in YOUR shoes and suffer disrespect always thinking about YOUR feelings when for the first 18 years you were the ONLY adult??? absolutely bizarre. i hope one day we can stop lighting up mothers for shit they can't control like crying babies or having to breastfeed and clock them for the way theyre cornerstones in keeping the patriarchy alive. and the specific bullshit mothers dole out and get away with it bc society expects total devotion to mothers especially from daughters like i need everyone to wake it up bc there's nooooo reason for a grown ass person to be sabotaging you like that! a lot of us are living in the house with our worst opponents and i hate it!

but bottom line? I AM ROOTING FOR YOU ANONNNN WE WILL MAKE IT OUT OF HERE I PROMMY

[hannieehaee]

Idk if this is appropriate or not (feel free if this is something you don't want to answer) but as a casual kpop stan who really only stans seventeen and listens to other kpop artists on a somewhat frequent basis I just feel as though seventeen is reaching their peak in a way that's far from satisfying. Like idk if this makes sense but to me it seems as tho the members are struggling to keep out of "scandals" with mingyu's incident last year, minghao/seoksoon being labeled as fat phobic earlier this year over out of context clips and now with Joshua (he's not even close to being my favorite member but these rumors and pregnancy stories are honestly making me so upset rn) ...as a fan who feels a genuine attachment to these people it's hard for me to be happy because while Ik the boys deserve every good thing coming their way fame comes with a price and that price is what I'm worried about. Like I get that Pledis isn't SM and seventeen definitely see themselves as family unlike NCT who view themselves more as colleagues I'm so scared that Joshua will eventually leave like Lucas or heaven forbid anything more drastic happens. It's just that I always see these "we could never save them" posts but then the same people who post them also comment the worst things forgetting that idols are humans too. I'm super sorry for the long ask but I just read that jeonghan got hurt and that made me think of the rest of the members and everything else they've been going thru. I'm not even the type of person to get attached to people I barely know but with Seventeen it's like I'm really and honestly praying for their success because they seem that THAT genuine group of people who are just trying their best. Sorry for the rambling

i get what ur saying. dont worry abt sending a long ask! ur welcome to rant abt svt in my inbox whenever! honestly i havent stanned for too long so idk how things were before this past year but i do worry for them lately :/ theyre getting injured too often and they get no rest. i dont like how pledis/hybe are managing them at all. theyve been constantly touring japan very repeatedly for seemingly no good reason at all which has obviously tired them out (theyve been dropping like flies, LITERALLY). pledis had the opportunity to promote them in ways that didnt involve constant performances but have just chosen not to for some reason. i really hope they get to rest soon (unlikely tho since theyre likely gonna have a world tour next year).

about the joshua thing. i feel sosososo bad for him. idk and idc if hes really dating that girl honestly. i do feel like it was kinda dumb of her to consistently post herself in the same places/clothes as him if they really wanted to keep it a secret BUT neither of them deserved the hate/scrutiny they got for it. not even with the pregnancy thingy on her stories. i don't think joshua and lucas' situations are comparable whatsoever since joshua has not done anything wrong unlike lucas. im hoping pledis somehow protects him better but thats unlikely. i dont think any member of svt will ever leave bc as u said, theyre family. cant rlly compare to nct tho lol bc i only stan svt so idk any other groups' dynamics like that. i do get what ur saying tho i have friends who stan nct and svt and theyve said to me that they do see a drastic difference in dynamics between the two groups but thats neither here nor there.

lastly, i have the best hopes for svt. they keep saying theyll only go up from here and i believe that. idk how that will play out with military service in consideration or with what seems to be chronic incidents that keep happening to them (gyu, cheol, and han in the past few months) but i trust and hope they'll be okay. they have a very established fanbase and a rlly good support group with one another so i only see good things for them in the future. hope they get at least a month off soon though.

[my-castles-crumbling]

cas! omg hi

I just found out that one of my class teachers is leaving the school at the end of this semester and idk how I feel about it

because on one side I'll definitely miss him because he's pretty important to me but I also feel really guilty for my first thought being that my other class teacher (my favourite and the teacher that I'm very unhealthily attached to) was going to have a difficult time with my class after that because they don't really respect her

Also, she is a pretty emotional person and I know that the way the class is acting gets to her and every time she's upset I just want to help her, i want to fix things I want to make it better but I can't because I'll put myself out on the line for more bullying and I don't want that and she doesn't either, ik that.

but i still feel like I'm supposed to do that, like I'm supposed to make things easier for her or else I feel really bad about it. ik that that comes from the way I was raised and from my parents but that doesn't help me in fixing this, it's just become really hard and I thought I'd reach out before it got worse

also, I found out a couple months ago that my dad probably smokes. like, I found cigarettes in his apartment (my parents are divorced) and I don't know 100% still, but I've just completely repressed that because he always used to be so against drugs and everything and ik that he's had a hard time since the divorce but its so annoying that he's stuck in his self-pity like three years after the goddamn divorce like get over your fucking self I'm just so angry at him and it feels like he's betrayed me by doing that and the problem is, I'm exactly like him and everything my mother criticized about him and the things that led to their divorce, I do too and I hate myself for it.

I do actually try and be better than him but it's either out of fear of hurting someone and them leaving me or because of anger that I just don't want to be like him, not out of wanting to be a good person, and it's all just so fucking complicated and I dont know.

Also, as you can probably tell I have a lot of issues with my father, I always have had but it's insane now because it was always me liking my mother more than him because she tried to fix things and he was immature and took everything personally, but now that my mums been kinda transphobic to me since I can out to her im scared because I've actually started liking him again but at the same time I hate him with everything in me and i just don't know what to do or how to act.

sorry for the vent I needed to get that out, as always have a good day and put yourself over helping us when you need it. ❤️

(doing this off anon, idk why just feeling like it)

Hi hon!

First off, as a teacher, it’s not your job to defend your teachers. It’s so sweet of you, but your job is to listen to your teachers and get an education. If you want to cheer your teacher up because you feel like she’s struggling, you could write a note to her! I adore getting notes from my students and I save all of them.

In sorry to hear your other teacher is leaving. It’s always sad to say goodbye to a teacher, especially a good one. If you want, you could write a note to him as well!

As far as your dad and mom, I think one thing I’ve learned about having divorced parents is that it’s okay to have your own opinions of them. You’re not betraying your mom by finding good in your dad, and vice versa. It’s also okay to see pieces of them in yourself, because you can take those pieces and turn them into good things. The fact that you recognize you want to be better already means you ARE better.

I’m proud of you, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this! Sending love!

[neobora]

neo!! please don't be too annoyed or hate me for this cuz ik that you've alreasy answered a bunch of questions related to this one, but i'm going through a similar thing like those anons, but then i started overconsuming info and tried to see if there were others who were going through what i'm going through and this one blogger said that she stayed home when she was trying to manifest all her desires at once but then she said "I used to think I was living in the end for a while but I noticed that I always stayed home bc I was insecure & waited until i was confident enough or pretty enough. I was lying to myself saying im living my dream life while not wanting to go out bc I was scared of what others would think of me." and how not to pause your life, and you said that you stayed home because you knew that you didn't have your desire, but the thing is i feel how both of you felt but i also don't want to go out until i manifest my dream life and so my question is it rly just a matter of the mindset i'm in?, like could you and the other blogger have continued to stay home and successfully manifested your dream life if you were simply in the mindset that you were already living your desired life? and also i'm trying to get over this and stop thinking about it sm and just focus on fulfilling myself within, but it keeps popping up in my mind and i feel like i have to listen to it and so it's an endless cycle, is it just fear or something i should listen to? i'm rly sorry foe this and how long it is but i just don't know what to do

don't worry, i understand what you're feeling. i felt like that other blogger too, thinking i was living in the end while still being insecure. it really can all only be fixed from within. the best thing to do is to ask yourself how you feel about your manifesting abilities. you can be anyone you want with just a thought if you're aware of that. become aware of the fact that you are the inner man, you have nothing to worry about. worries and fears are just your ego, as the one within you don't have to feel them or identify with them. to truly fulfill yourself within you have to become aware of the fact that you can actually do it, there is no one else except you, you choose what you give power to. when we get a doubt, we try to look for the root because obviously there's still something wrong with us, no? but... who is forcing you to feel that a simple worry can shatter everything? you. let the thought and feeling pass you without identifying with it. for this to work you have to actually feel like you have the choice to do it, though. be bold and feel like the only creator because that's what you are! the outer world really just reflects your old assumptions, when identifying with the inner man you have to handle it like a thought you do not want to have. let it pass without identifying with it. this concept can be hard to grasp if you dont actually dare to try it. it gets easier and easier though, the hardest part that is at the same time the most freeing is really just becoming able to let go of the outer world. as the inner man you don't have to listen to thoughts or fears you don't want to have. really internalise that. change isn't just feeling a desire to be true, it's also becoming able to stop identifying with what no longer applies to you. once you try it and actually feel it you start grasping it. i know you can do it, always believe in yourself.

[achoshistor]

[totk] alternate dimension???

HAHA ok i simply can't go without writing this down but this time i will try my best to omit all spelling errors to preserve readability... tbh i wouldnt read this if you havent finished the geoglyphs

[spoilers!!]

ok im gonna be honest i've only finished botw and totk so this is gonna be moreso why the alternate timeline from botw is plausible in comparison to the actual placement of the timeline bc thats too much thinking and its been like a million bajillion years since i read the historia.

ok so firstly zelda doing different things in the past is def why the line would have changed from botw to totk but why was zelda the one who went back in time?? In botw the divine beasts are literally analogous to the current sages which is basically

vah rudania/daruk = yunobo

vah naboris/urbosa = riju

vah ruta/mipha = sidon

vah medoh/revali = tulin

that covers all four but what about link?? link gets his own divine beast (master cycle) too so why is zelda the sage and not link?? besides i heard this mentioned somewhere else (i forgot where) but link has the ability to literally slow down time when hes drawing his bow or looking through the scope and he can pause time with the menu but idk if thats actually canon LOL. either way link can also control time like zelda. But speaking of divine beasts the 4 helms can be found in totk as well but the item descriptions call them zonai while the general look of the pieces is clearly sheikha which is weird cuz whaaaat?? also idk maybe nintendo just wanted a way to explain amiibo gear but this just suggests that the divine beasts themsleves are also zonai of some sort. Ik people are saying they dont mention the divine beasts at all but impa and i think like one or two other npcs mention them meaning they are still here but zonai somehow which doesnt make sense in the context of botw.

also aside from the divine beasts theres some other things of note too: firstly, your house in hateno which zelda STOLE 😭😭liek man i paid good money for that sign... 3000 rs.... this is p minor but why would she just take the sign away unless it wasnt already there?? I mean ok maybe link wanted to live with her

[zora arc spoilers]

anyways point two about yona... tbh i thought she was ganondorfs spy or something at first because she came out of nowhere... im assuming she's muzu's daughter but we saw no sign at all of her in botw... maybe the devs hated sidlink that much lolol. In all seriousness tbh her appearance does seem to point to a shift in the events of 100 years ago unless she's not from hyrule which seems unlikley seeing that sidon grew up in zora's domain according to the botw dlc.

[zora spoilers over]

ok last thing... the bottomless swamp is gone!!

like whaaat theres a pond there now

I'm like 99% sure this is just because they needed a body of water that you can drop into safely but its also the only pond on ground thats actually got the lily pads from the sky in it which is interesting. I don't think they added any other new bodies of water aside from this though. Lorewise though it makes no sense at all that they removed that whole giant skeleton from here in a few years and even if they did iirc the ground around it was crackly and dry. Lanaryu/Zorana used to all be a desert and they said it took hundreds of years for it to become fertile so its kind of nonsensical that this area would only take a little while...

overall i think this is probably just nintendo trying to make it so that totk can be standalone but man it cant be that hard to write coherent lore

[apopcornkernel]

poppy's watched cdramas

與君歌 stand by me/dream of chang'an

i... did not finish this drama 😭 i only watched this because my mom was watching it and we were stuck in quarantine together, so. it was fun i guess but ultimately mid

蒼蘭決 love between fairy and devil

loved it, the ending was a little too abrupt for me but it still ended well! lived for the villain romance, had so much fun booing changheng (sorry), had even more fun staring at dylan wang's cheekbones. also i love how ride or die the main couple is for each other, it's absolutely not one-sided in that regard which <3 yes. and also episodes 30(?) to 36 i cried nonstop it was so cathartic. episode 35 specifically....... aha

琉璃 love and redemption

STUPIDLY long and rather cringe at times im not even gonna lie but the main characters had me by the THROAT i could not stop watching. yu sifeng is so so so unfairly pretty with bangs and chu xuanji in god of war mode,,,, i lvoe her sm. i loved how the gender roles of a typical cdrama relationship was more or less flipped, with sifeng always being the damsel in distress (not even joking or exaggerating about this one) and xuanji being the badass hero. i feel like a lot of cdramas tend to say their female mc is the hero and stuff but then in execution its ALWAYS the male lead saving the mc from danger and its just,,, idk i'm a little tired of it so i like that chu xuanji exists <3 and fuck haochen

傳聞中的陳芊芊 the romance of tiger and rose

REALLY REALLY GOOD one of the most perfect dramas ive ever watched. cinematography really high quality, an mc that i never got annoyed at and is so lovable, a petty murder cat love interest who is unfairly handsome at every angle. i was smiling and giggling with every episode. it's the true definition of a happy pill. i only wish Those 2 Specific Scenes did not exist

星落凝成糖 the starry love

i did not finish this 😭 i onyl watched it because it was the only thing i had downloaded on my phone. i don't recommend it tbh, sorry, the concept was interesting but the execution didn't do it for me. it was also really obvious how low budget it was and the acting & writing didn't really make up for it enough so,,,

今夕何夕 twisted fate of love

THIS IS THE BEST CDRAMA IVE EVER WATCHED I KNOW IM BEING SUBJECTIVE BUT LET ME BE SUBJECTIVE THIS IS MY BLOG okay okay so general travels back eight years to stop a great war but unfortunately she lands smack dab into feng xi's residence, who is an ally of the Bad Guy and very morally grey politician who will not hesitate to kill people for his goals. she keeps trying to assassinate feng xi's ally (the Bad Guy) meanwhile feng xi is just trying to put a ring on it. they are SO so funny and you KNOW i love villain(ish) romance so i ADORED this cdrama even though it was objectively mid and even though the last episode was trash. I DONT CARE i will defend this one with my life JUST WATCH IT im very incoherent ik but in my defense it's kinda hard to explain just trust me

星漢燦爛 love like the galaxy

currently watching!! it has zhao lusi who i trust with any drama, and the cinematography is great! some of ling buyi's dialogue i dont like but im still on board the main ship,,, i think i wouldve liked lou yao but i keep remembering he's daole from twisted fate of love and it jars me so bad.... also i have this thing where i automatically boo the second/third leads so really lou yao had no chance im sorry 😔 i find it really funny how obviously down bad ling buyi is update: i dropped this drama :(( i got all the way to episode 20 something and then i just couldn't be bothered to continue, i was honestly bored :((((

雲之羽 my journey to you

my sister rec'd this drama to me and oh man i tried. i was so ready to be hooked. but i just couldn't. like, it had gorgeous cinematography and beautiful costuming and i was happily surprised to realize the leads were clj's changheng and xiaolanhua, but omfg gong ziyu (changheng) pisses me off so bad he's like omg guys im an underdog they all hate me im struggling so bad i'm being oppressed etc etc AND THEN HE'S BEING OPPRESSED FOR BEING A RICH BABAERO NA PALAGING NAGBABAR LIKE BE SO FOR REALLL also shangguan qian and gong yuanzhi's scenes are infinitely more interesting than anyone else's, their one battle of wits already had me more interested than the entirety of the previous 5 episodes... and then when it switches back to include shangjue or gong ziyu or yun weishan i immediately feel all my energy get sapped. like they're so boring it hurts fgksjhg and the way yun weishan and gong ziyu speak don't help at all it's like 有時候……我也……睡不着…… DO NOT WASTE MY TIME LIKE THIS AND ALSO PLEASE SPEAK NORMALLY so yeah i got fed up by episode 6 and dropped it despite my sister's urging

天盛長歌 the rise of phoenixes

started watching this right after i dropped my journey to you BECAUSE FUCK YOU i swear that cdrama made me see cdramas as a chore again. anyways im loving it. ning yi looked so miserable in the first episode which is a great portend for things to come, and feng zhiwei is great i love her already and the cinematography is not bad as well, i'm just worried i'll get lost on the machinations and everything but i'm still having fun so far anyways hehe update from episode 19 or something!! i'm really enjoying it this is so good!!!! a little slower paced so if that's not your thing be warned but i am really liking it hehe

[idyllic-affections]

HI THERE! IM BACK FROM MY TRIP! And holy moly i didnt missed a lot???? (i think..? I’ll have to read back your post but i want to send an ask now!)

First, love the new theme btw. Yaoshi is also my fav aeon from the aeons we currently know! They are so pretty and divine and i did have a huge stupid smile when Yaoshi kissed us in the simulated universe THEY JUST WANTED US TO STAY SAFE!!!!!!! I sometimes wonder if Hoyoverse is just building them up to be someone you should hate just to make plot twist that turns out, them just simply doesnt know the horrible results their actions does. They do it with good intention but didnt know the results would be bad. But i honestly like their ambiguous morality that hoyoverse have for most of the aeons because well they’re aeons they’re gods ofc they wont follow human morality.

Second, your second oc you have rn is pretty interesting. So i have QUESTIONS!

1. What do they look like? Ik that you said you’re not finished with their design but are they like in a child/teen body but has the mentality of an adult? (Something similar to bailu i guess)

2. What are their element?

3. What does the other aeons think of Ambrose? Like ‘why the hell does Yaoshi have a little human with them’

4. Is Lan and by extension the Xianzhou Alliance aware of Ambrose’s existance and special connection towards Yaoshi? since their relationship with the said Aeon isnt the typical relationship an emanator and aeon would have (i hc that Yaoshi is known to particuraly have a good relationship with their emanators but Ambrose is noticably their favourite one child)

Thirdly, can i just say something? Since i get busy a lot, I dont get to instantly play the new update which sadly leads me to be easily spoiled. Case in point, Tingyun infamous neck snap. I was just casually scrolling on youtube when i saw ‘Tingyun neck snapping in 4 languages’ Like wth youtube!? I try to just forget about it but the mind could never. By the time i do get to play and get to play the quest, i already knew her fate and just keep giving her the side eye. Ik her fate but idk the reason and stuff leading up to it. It was an interesting experience to say the least

Lastly, i am proud to say that i have FINALLY done Dan Heng IL companion quest and have researched enough that i can FINALLY continue on the brainrot i keep talking about, i might finish it this week if i can manage my time better but we’ll see. So keep your eyes wide open!

I hope you have a lovely day/night, now i should go to bed as im tired like hell.. BYE

- 🐱 Anon

HI BELOVED HELLO <333 oh i am SO excited to talk about ambrose. they are so fucking RRRAHGHG i love them....... pleasmelejldjd......

i agree!!!! you cannot call an aeon "good" or "evil." none of them are either of those things. good and evil are just human perceptions of morality, and divine beings like aeons cannot be placed into those human boxes (which is why i think the xianzhou's attitude towards yaoshi is so. odd. bro it was YOURRRR ancestors who looked for THEM!!!! THEY did not look for YOU ALL!!!!!! YOU GUYS looked for THEM!!!!! and hyv really wants me to think yaoshi is the "villain" here HELP AKJSJSGJUFBAJ) AND YAOSHI KISSING US CRIES SOBS SCREAMS they have such a gentle and nurturing soul in my brain. it is so hard for me to look at them and think "yeah that's a villain" THEY'RE NOT CRIES

i don't know if i prefer the idea of yaoshi being completely 100% aware of the consequences of their blessing, or being completely unaware and being so consumed by their path that they cannot see the harm they're doing. i think both interpretations have their own appeal. the second one is definitely more agonizing, though. either way, i do not see the abundance as a villain personally. aeons are not human. human morals cannot be applied to them.

and as for ambrose--

ambrose is, physically, a young adult! a very young adult. think eighteen or nineteen. i want them to be chronologically older than most people on any of the xianzhou alliance's ships, though, so i am working on an explanation for why their mara is less severe and has not completely consumed their consciousness.

i think they're either physical, fire, or imaginary. i haven't decided yet. i'm open to suggestions.

this is SO funny and i love thinking about this. i think most of the aeons were like... what the fuck. What Is That. why does yaoshi have a little human. what the fuck. i think nous would get along w/ them despite nous' involvement with the xianzhou; ambrose sought to be freed from the limitations of mortal comprehension in order to learn more and see beyond their home world, after all. and really, i don't think nous would give a FUCK about the conflict between the hunt and the abundance. they don't fucking care bro they are more concerned with other things LMAOOO. ambrose clashes really badly with nanook because they have a deep set love for humanity and the universe, whereas nanook... does not. the child of abundance, ambrose, does not like the destruction at all so they are ALWAYS going around and eliminating the antimatter legion when they can. IX could not care less about them rip..... IX's apathy is a stark contrast to ambrose's infinite kindness and passion for existence. in general, ambrose doesn't seek out any of the other aeons except nous. nous and yaoshi are the only ones they really talk to.

I AGREE I AGREE i think yaoshi is one of the aeons who really likes their emanators! ambrose in particular is like an extension of themselves (perhaps this could contribute to why their mara is less severe? ambrose is but an extension of their aeon, after all. their aeon's power probably does not hurt them as bad as it does to those who do not share that kind of bond with yaoshi; i think yaoshi can literally FEEL when something is not right with ambrose and vice versa. like, they share a sort of metaphysical bond). lan knows about this, and therefore, so does the xianzhou alliance. ambrose is regarded as an enemy, a thing that needs to be eliminated from the universe... even though they did nothing wrong. ambrose honestly doesn't care because fuck it, you know? there is no point in lamenting the loss of potential allies when those potential allies seem to vehemently hate their parent... but ambrose has learned from yaoshi to have love for every living thing in the universe, so the hate is very one-sided. they are not just a pathstrider. they are an emanator. they cannot emanate their parent's will and strength if they are hateful. so, they have a gentle and tender love for life and that does include the xianzhou alliance. the alliance sees their softness as patronizing, unfortunately. ambrose avoids lan like the fucking PLAGUE because they know that lan would absolutely take any given opportunity to remove them from the universe, and yaoshi would absolutely come to their aid if they sensed that ambrose was in danger. and ambrose cannot be responsible for aiding the hunt in eliminating the abundance. if they survived, and if yaoshi happened to... not survive, they would not be able to live with themselves. so they don't bother trying to make amends with the xianzhou or lan.

NOOOOOO YOUTUBE SPOILERS ARE THE WORST. THEY ARE SO UNAVOIDABLE. TUMBLR SPOILERS? THOSE CAN BE AVOIDED BUT YT.......

ahh that's awesome! i still have to do it HSKNKHSBGKA but you're welcome to brainrot in my inbox whenever you'd like to <3

rest well!!!!

[aegori]

MY OPINIONS ON MUTANT MAYHEM (spoilers)

remember this is all just MY OPINION. whether you loved the movie or hated it, great, just as long as you give it a chance then whatever you feel about the movie is valid.

(yes i do have a rottmnt pfp but rottmnt is not my first or favorite tmnt, and even tho i am salty that rottmnt is paused ik that mutant mayhem is not the reason why rottmnt got paused in 2020. anything negative i have to say abt mutant mayhem has nothing to do with rottmnt. also this is not the only tmnt i have negative opinions on so please dont think im trying to single this movie out)

the good

the soundtrack, animation, action and character design was amazing.

 i loved the dynamic between the turtles and splinter, they really felt like a family. 

there were moments that were funny. i tally marked the moments i thought were funny and got 12 tallies.

 i enjoy superfly as a villain. the voice acting for superfly was great, the movie really started to improve for me when he was introduced. 

the bad

pop culture references. too many of them. i couldnt help but roll my eyes by the 5th celebrity name drop. i actually tally marked how many pop culture references there were, i mightve missed a few, but there were at least 7 celebrities mentioned and at least 8 pop culture references. it was a bit ridiculous. 

a lot of uncomfortable jokes. things like them speculating what splinters rectum might smell like, talking about being milked and having nipples, the puking, when splinter kissed the roach woman.... yea moments like that that made me wince in the movie theater and while watching at home. i also tally marked this, i was made uncomfortable about 17 times watching this movie. 

the bayverse movies get criticized for having a shitty method of them learning ninjutsu, but i thought mutant mayhem was worse. they learned ninjutsu through youtube videos? i mean maybe its not impossible but it seems a little more silly to me than learning through a book.

the turtles, while yes they do have different personalities, i felt like they were the most similar in this movie, personality wise. it often felt like they were merging into one character, with them constantly talking at the same time, and none of them having much time alone on screen. i had a hard time deciding which turtle i liked the best in the movie, because well they just seemed so similar to each other. 

i have mixed feelings on april. i actually really liked her design. i guess my problem comes from her seeming distant, as ive seen another say. also i hated the puke jokes.

im not sure why, but i felt bored for the majority of the movie. it wasnt until superfly was introduced 45 minutes into the movie where things started to pick up. but i think im in the minority here, as ive only seen one other person say they were bored by the movie. 

the mutants besides superfly were very forgettable. i dont remember any of the new mutants names even after watching for a second time. ofc i do remember bebop and rocksteady, leatherhead, mondo gecko.... but they arent new characters. i also dont like how all the mutants besides superfly are now allies with the turtles. 

i dont like how they are not secret and they start going to high school. i guess theres nothing wrong with it, i just prefer when the turtles are secret. 

ik this seems quite negative, its just easier for me to talk about things i dont like vs the things i do like. 

i thought the movie was decent, i give it a 6/10

i get that a lot of people are protective of this movie, and i understand why. i think that as long as you give it a chance, any opinion you have of it is valid

[tuxedokit]

norma/dion

OOOOOOH THE FOILS this is an interesting dynamic

when i started shipping it, if i did:

idk if i ship it !!!

my thoughts:

i can definitely see the appeal, what with them both having venom to spit and immediate regret to follow. they both try and try so hard to be good, but they keep finding themselves hurting the ones around them and regretting it, but regret doesn't undo what they've done. i think they would either bond heavily over that or hate each other for it because all they can see in one another is what they hate about themselves. the more i write this, the more im interested in the ship

what makes me happy about them:

the idea of them seeing each other and finally having someone who gets it. someone who understands, cause frazie and lizzie mught say they get it but theyve never spat acid at those they loved, at people who were innocent. they might have snarked and teased, but never said things as hurtful as dion and norma had. and they look at each other, and they finally feel seen. finally, someone understands. im not alone.

what makes me sad about them:

exactly what makes me happy about them. turn it around, now theres someone there who keeps acting like you, and reflecting to you how shitty youve been. you look at this girl and did she really just say that? to a ten year old? jesus christ. you maybe find yourself scolding her, yelling at her, because who says something like that to someonenthey claim to love?! but... so did you. you dont really hate her, do you? no, that's not quite right... no. you understand her. you understand her, and you hate yourself for it.

things done in fanfic that annoy me:

when theyre written as terrible people, who meant all the harm they caused. no idea if its been done but like i feel it in my heart that its been done (ik its been done ab dion)

things i look for in fanfic:

i have never once read a dion/norma fanfic

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other:

i... dont... know? the more i think about this ship, the more it makes sense to me.

my happily ever after for them:

THERAPY. and apologies. them being right there next to one another, supporting each other through the shame of acknowledging they were in the wrong and the sting of owning up to it and saying sorry. because no one else they know quite understands it like they do. no one else was that cruel. no one else felt that ice in their veins right after saying something so hurtful. so who else would be better suited to help them heal than each other, who understand?

big spoon/little spoon:

dion

favourite activity:

playfully shit talking the other junior agents, people watching and commenting on peoples outfits.... and crying together. they get into screaming matches sometimes, but they always come back together because they know they'll understand and they both feel so bad and they know she does too

[thepinkpetalpages]

Jan 20-21 2025

*forgot to post on the 20th (oopsies) so now u get two days in one*

Jan 20/2025

ngl ive been bored all damn day. thank god its mlk day cause i need to study for my english regents (i didnt end up studing) then i need to laundry cause if not ima freaze having no clean sweatpants. bro one of my friends texted talking bout the weather is going to be 8 degress i responded with "i rebuke that." cause why is so cold my balls are freazing IM A GIRL. for once in my life i didnt have a mental breakdown doing laundry for, idk ever since i was a kid ive hated the idea of doing laundry and would rather scrub the bathroom with a toothbrush then do laundry. but somehow i still end up doing the washing and folding, i think that i mostly hate it because ist basicly never ending chore like once ur done with washing one pile of clothes nect week theres more and the cycle js reapets and reapets itself over and over agian. all of my friends know how much i hate laundry so once they find out im doing laundry they tend to avoid me knowing that i will drop doing laundry and go do wtv they ask of me. when i get married there will be 3 chores that my future husband WILL have to do ima even put them in a prenup so they are very aware and cant accuse me of nothing, the list is made of doing

dishes (i hate touching anything soggy and the smells make me nauses

laundry (as prevuously stated i will rather srub a bathroom with a toothbursh than fold laundry)

taking out the trash (idk why but they have to do that and when i say taing out the trash i mean taking it ourside of where we live not, the garbage can)

i will gladly do anything else that needs to be done but those three they gotta go to my future husaband its the bare minimum tho cause like techniclly half the clothes belong to them too. and like they also eating off the dishes and throwing stuff in the trash so why should they do that. anyways i took my babysister down to laundrymat (big flex having ur own laundrymat inside the bulidng,atleast in nyc...) and it was a intristing experince she tried to help me poor the soap in but she cant reach and they she got intruged by how a dryer works. shes four so i cant really blame her but at the same time its like damn is that what really impresses you. one of my sweaters came out like partially wet so i left it hanging near the heater because i never put my clothes to dry full heat since it can damage the fabbric faster, unless im purposly trying to shrink sum. it started to like snow and it was actually like a good foot which is impressive since the last time it really snowed in nyc is 2018, and new york tends to get very cold and like feets off snow but by the time i went outside the snow was like kinda gone.

Jan 21/2025

i HATE the englsh regenst. istg that dumbass test took like three years off my fucking life. no cause mind you is like 7 degrees outside so i got on like 3 diffrent fucking layers on and im STILL COLD. i even put on a hat and i refuse to wear hats cause i dont like when my hair is messed up. then im making my way to the train to get to fucking school by 8 am nd the sidewalk is FROZENN and when i say frozen i mean like elsas room forzen. it wasnt even frozen it was straight fucking ice. i said hell nahhh im not walking there so insted i walked in the street cause its also down a hill and ppl ik live near there and i dont really feel like busting my ass and being caught in 4k by someone i hd beef with in middle school. my school was lowkey considedarate cause they told us if u want to eat breakfast that the school buys us than to show up by 8:15 and that there would be a bootcamp to like prepare. i was already like mentaly prepared becuase january is the hardest month totak eur regsnts in so i alr knew the test was going to be hard compared to the past regents i had taken which had all been june and june is like the easist i think... you can also take them in augest but that if u have like summer school and ill be dambed if i have to spend my summer inside a bum ass school. anyway why is it that for a fucking multipule choice YES A MULTIPLE CHOICE you gotta read three text. YES 3!!!! AS IN ONE, TWO, THREE like damn its 24 questions i should not need this much reading. im sitting there like who tffff and start doing my essay cause they worth the most so its more important i score a good grade on them. the damn argumetive essay aka the first one was talking about some if we should be vegan or not. ngl my personal opnion is if u can live off being vegan and be happy then go ahead but im not vegan. for the essay i chose people should becuase it had more evidince MIND YOU u gotta read like a good four text for this part and they all like over two pages long. i had to take a break from that damn essay and go onto my multiple choice cause i js couldnt. tell me why one of the text was talking about a talking parot whos madd humans wont talk back to them, there was a poem which was actually like not that bad and nor were the questions and there was this other text but i cant really remebr what its about cause im pretyy sure thats the one that i didnt read and js started looking at the questions and only reading the lines it was asking about. MIND YOU this test is only 3 hours unless you get extra time to complete it, i walked into that room confidint asf and then ended up walking ourt like if i had smoked a blunt (i dont even smoke) i was completyly over it. i noticed i still had a hour and 30 minutes left so i went back to the essay i aint finish and chose to js start writting bullshit and praying to the gods that it make some type of sens cause i dont be reading stuff back to myself i js leave everything in gods hand. i was so thankfull to be over with that damn test UNTILL i remerberd theres another fucking essay. man that shit had me fucked up i rmbr the story is called "jurney" and it felt like a fucking fever dream. this narrator u cant trust they ass because they said they had a map with them and had like been to this place before so they knew the way, he gets fucking lost. then towards the end he finaly decided to check the damn map AND THERE ISINT A FUCKING MAP, its a blank peice of paper.... i think that if i ever have to take that test again it might just be my 13th reason why. worse part is i gotta go back to school thrusday and take a history regent where i gotta read for almost evrey question, gotta write 6 short responses and then as a nice little gift i gotta write a six, YES SIX paragraph essay. my poor hand man at leats they aint give the text back to fucking back then my hand would have to be amputated.

*btw in nyc highschools you get the whole week off to take regents (regents are the test we take in order to get our diploma, you need five but in my scool i need 9 to get advanced since im in honors) in january and only go to school if you have to take a regent one of those days. it all depends on what regents you need/are missing*

xoxo,

the pink petal

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

liz 🫶🏽🫶🏽 i understand why you're thinking abt leaving, but i have reasons why you shouldnt. i really hope this brings back some of your faith in us, bc i havent really done much to keep it 🙏🙏🙏

you're VERY talented.

i feel like there's not much to elaborate on this? like, i've been stalking a few of my (now mutual) amazing fic writers and artists for a while, even before i got an official account, but you've always been one of the first.

2. you're inspiring to ALL.

one of the first leon fics that i ever read were one of yours. back when i first got on here, your account was recommended to me first, and im so so so glad that it was. you were someone that wrote leon, and the further i delved, the more i realized that you were really talented, not just a horny teenager looking to get likes. you were ACTUALLY WRITING. and that's so so inspiring because let's be fr, who does that anymore? ik for a fact that a lack of likes gets me discouraged (but that might be my praise kink yapping)

3. your fic ideas are so creative AUGH

honestly? sometimes i wish i could go back in time and just... think of that idea first, because they are always stunning. especially your cool mom's countdown, that had me enamored. i looked up to you and thought, if she could brush herself off and get up, write this and still manage her life outside of writing, i could at least try, right? so i have you and a multitude of others to thank for this, but you for being my first inspiration on here.

4. you're very mature about everything.

in the sense that personally i would freak any time i get anon hate in my inbox, you handle things very well, like a cool older sister (not the one that gets in fights and gets expelled, but the one that's calm and calculating. i've always seen you like that, not an insult, but a compliment <3) having an online presence is hard when people hate on you, and i'd just like to say one more thing

5. you are NOT unoriginal.

i have no idea where the fuck those asks are coming from, saying that ur unoriginal and that ur dialogue is repeated, because it's not???? everything you write is well thought out and precise, even if you hadn’t meant it to come across that way. not to mention that ur blog is one of the very few that i’ve seen that actually has a set theme, in this case, the music! the demos, the singles; a lot of work went into it, and i dont know why the fuck people aren’t appreciating it and instead hating, but lets end on a good note, which brings me to

6. we respect your decision.

this is not to get you to change your mind, please never think of this that way. i’ll completely understand if you still want to go through with becoming an archive idea, because that is always up to you and don’t ever feel pressured to do something you don’t want to. this is more of a response to the hate that you’re getting for no reason, and also just because i feel like i haven't really been showing up, as of late? i’ll always look up to you, no matter what you choose <3

ily!! made my day with this one, sweetheart (i didn't see a name on your blog, so i hope that's an okay name for you)

people like you make me want to stay (and i'm never going to stop writing, i've been in love with writing since long before tumblr), but if i stop posting/post less, we can always chat in the dms/discord :)

the horny teen thing made me laugh bc i was a melodramatic hopeless romantic teen who wrote poetry during class - for better or worse, i feel like poetry being my introduction to writing (and ultimately, what i like most/think i'm best at) shows in the way i write fic sometimes?

i'm happy to hear that you find my fic ideas original because i feel like my creativity/imagination is limited, especially when i'm not into AU's and such (i'm so stuck on making characters not OOC). i feel like this is different from a lot of writers but brainstorming and plotting is my least favorite part of writing, like i love the actual writing things down part and even the editing sometimes! this is such a random side note but i always see posts about people being like "i have an idea but i don't want to write it out" and i'm like omg pls feed me the idea, i would love to write it!

(also, i don't really have a life outside of writing at least atm... which definitely contributes to my whole emotional state rn)

i don't think i've ever been called mature before lol! i'm glad it seems like i'm handling things right but ik it's probably best to ignore anons, i'm just the type of person who won't start fights but won't back down from them either? i also think a lot of the people are easy to clown on lol

the older sister comment makes me want to cry, genuinely bc i am an older sister in real life (to my brother, who is my favorite person in the world) but i've been writing and thinking a lot about how i wish i could go back in time and be my own big sister (not to get too deep, but i wish i could hug baby me :( )

the funny thing about my theme is that i actually feel like it's v disorganized (tho i love maximalism and color and it is v me, plus i had to do a disco theme for miss oranje)

if i did quit this blog, which i doubt i will entirely bc i still want to support other people even if i post less of my own stuff, i would definitely leave it as an archive or leave some way for people to read my fics because I HATE when authors delete their fics, like i totally get orphaning a work on ao3 if that's something you want to do but as much as i don't like some of my older fics and might do a revised version of not old enough in the future, ik that there's probably someone out there who loves that fic and would be sad if it was gone

btw i am trying not to cry bc i'm in the same room as my dad and it would be awkward but "i look up to you" is quite possibly the biggest compliment i've ever received, like that means a lot to me because i struggle with the idea that younger me wouldn't like me now so the fact that someone else finds me worth looking up to for any reason at all makes my heart cry tears of joy

also, you have absolutely been here for me, like every reblog/comment on my fic makes me so happy, and ik a lot of people don't have the time to leave comments and such so it makes my heart smile knowing that you put in that time and care!