#im too lazy to tag everyone ill do it later

[giveafike]

kinda obsessed with the prompt of ben x fem tennis reader being together for a lil while and being the cutest couple , breaking up bc the distance hit them too hard after two straight months of different tournaments/locations, then seeing each other for the first time at a 1000 tournament, going out to dinner with the same group of people and end up going back to bens hotel room to clear the air and obvs end up in bed together realising they’re gonna have to get thru the distance cos they can’t be without each other now 😭

TLDR: tennisplayerfem!reader and ben break up bc you can't handle being away and then surprise, you can't handle being not together. Losers.

Word count + info: 10k. Am I mentally ill? This is supposed to be a blurb.. Dialogue (angst, texts, calls, conversation).

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW! Breakup and kinda mean stuff said (nothing physical description wise). Otherwise, it's all good! (i think)

Azzie Notes ✚: SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. AM I OKAY??? 10K?? ON A BLURB?? idrk what angst is fr chat lmk if i did that one fr idk....im a LOVER girl ok IDK HOW TO DO THIS SAD SHIT - in saying that, was part of my dialogue in this lwky..loosely based off of my ex...........maybe...

I fear I loved this prompt so bad and like...I love to yap..so...

Socials + Updates: twitter ( @azziegivesafike) - feel free to follow and msg me about non requests there, I'll be posting life updates, story + req updates and spoilers/teasers alongside other things, so it'd be nice to have a community over there!

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Shattered - B.T.S.

In the beginning, being with Ben is the kind of whirlwind you've only seen in movies, a connection that feels so natural, yet thrillingly unexpected. Well, in hindsight, that might've been a lie. It wasn't exactly love at first sight, but instead, a slow, magnetic pull that drew you together, like the tension building in a long rally. You met on the circuit, both hungry, ambitious, and dedicated to your own success. But from the start, Ben had this way of getting past your disciplined, guarded exterior with that relentless charm of his.

He’s everywhere, it seems—posting highlights from your matches on his stories, sneaking your name into press conferences, tagging you in his silly “lazy Saturday” shots where your game is always playing in the background. He flirts shamelessly, flashing that grin across the court, his voice lifting over the crowd to make some cheeky comment that leaves you stifling laughter. Your friends see it before you do: Ben is crazy about you, and soon, so is everyone else.

He flirted shamelessly and relentlessly, everywhere and anywhere, often catching you off guard in ways that left you flustered despite your best efforts to stay cool and professional. With that, you started to look out for the way his eyes would find yours in a crowd while you sat in the stands during his matches or how he would nudge you at practice with that easy, casual touch like he’s done it a thousand times before; like you belong by his side.

Once, when he's asked in an interview if he’d dedicated his recent win to anyone, he grins and looks straight across the room, making everyone laugh. “There’s someone special right now, but no need to say names, she knows.”

It’s sweet, funny and more than a little bold. Later, when you called him out for it over one of your first late-night calls, he shrugged, entirely unapologetic, telling you with that stupid drawl of his, “What? Ain’t no point hidin’ it. The world knows who my lucky charm is.”

Soon, it was you reaching out for him, your hand slipping onto his arm, leaning against him during walkouts, letting your barriers fall. And every time he catches your eye, every time he manages to make you smile, he looks at you like he’s won the lottery. His heart stammers a little each time you shove him playfully or roll your eyes at his antics. Whether it was on the bench or during changeovers, Ben would rest his hand gently on your lower back, a touch that makes you feel, just for a moment, like you're the only two people in the world.

When the rare break in your schedules comes around, you steal hours together. You grab a coffee, turning a "quick run" into a day spent together and wander around a city you barely know, or stumble upon a hidden café with pastries too flowery for your tastes. He made everything feel easier, like no matter how intense life gets, you’ll always have that balance with him. Around Ben, you can be softer, and more vulnerable; he brings out a side of you that isn’t just about winning and competing but about laughing, sharing, and letting go.

People noticed the way you look at each other, the easy affection that passes between you, the more daring and intimate PDA, sharing kisses and lingering stares. Soon, fans were shipping you openly, posting photos of you courtside, or whispering to each other when you lean close and murmur something that makes him laugh. On tour, you’re one of those “it” couples, a little slice of joy in the relentless pace of your careers. And in those early days, you both believe that together, you can take on anything. In those early days, you believed you could take on anything together. You and Ben were partners, equals, and even in the midst of a gruelling season, there had always been time for him, always a reason to smile. It felt perfect, like a love story you had stumbled into but were both entirely committed to.

But that honeymoon phase comes crashing down real quick.

As seasons shift and tournaments stretch across continents, the cracks start to show. At first, it’s just a few hours difference, but then come the miles and oceans, and the texts dwindled, conversations cut short, replaced by more missed calls than made and vague apologies. You both had tried, in every way you knew how. But eventually, the memories weren’t enough to bridge the distance. You’d catch yourself staying up just to wait for his call after practice, only to fall asleep disappointed, staring at a dark screen. And every time you woke up to a hastily sent sorry, something came up text, it felt like another tiny fracture.

Ben wasn’t the only one caught up in the chaos of your schedules; you had your own demands, too. The strain went both ways. In an attempt to keep things alive, you’d push yourself to keep up with his time zone, adding another city to your Clock app, setting alarms accordingly to his lunch and dinner times, staying awake far too late, eyes heavy as you sat alone in your hotel room, scrolling through old photos just to feel closer to him. When the call finally did come, your voice was barely more than a whisper, tired and distant, and Ben couldn't bear the exhaustion in your tone, his heart aching as he hushed you to sleep, meaning neither of you would stay on long.

It all piled up slowly, almost imperceptibly, until the weight felt crushing. Conversations became one-sided, it’s like chasing the sun itself, moments of silence replacing the laughter that had once felt endless, and that spark, the one that made you feel unstoppable together, felt further away with every day that passed.

Then came the day of your match, a game that should have been easy, one you’d normally have breezed through. But you were dragging, exhaustion wrapping itself around your every heavy, drooping step, and somewhere in the depths of your mind, a bitter thought took root:

If only he cared.

You knew it wasn’t his fault, but still, the frustration boiled over. Would things have felt different if you weren’t so alone in this? If you didn’t have to wonder when, or if, he’d remember to call? If he scheduled calls to your time for once? If he could just postpone everything for 20, 20 measly minutes for you?

A ball zips right by you, snapping you back to reality.

Lying in your hotel room that night, you stared at the ceiling, replaying the best moments of your time together like an old movie reel. In those moments, it had felt perfect. You’d believed you could take on the world, side by side, partners in everything. But now, with miles and silence separating you, you wondered if those memories were all that was left of what you once had.

But even with that ache, even with the emptiness filling the room, one thing is clear as day: loving Ben, for all its messiness, for all the distance and loneliness, had never felt like a mistake but God, was it hard. You pondered on those same irritating thoughts that itched at you until your fingers found your phone and hit the FaceTime Call button. Part of you wanted him to not pick up, knowing that you had nothing kind or sweet to say, but a small part of you wanted to dish back what he deserved.

“Hey,” he greets, his voice tense, worn. His drawl feels distant like he’s talking to you from across an ocean.

“Hey.” You can feel the iciness in your voice, colder than you intended.

“Long day?” he asks, though his expression is already tense, wary.

“Yeah. Almost lost today,” you say flatly.

Ben’s gaze flicks down. “I saw the score,” he says, his voice cautious. “Guess it was a tough match, babe.”

“It shouldn’t have been,” you snap. “But maybe it’s hard to focus when I’m barely sleeping… or constantly waiting for a text that never comes.”

He blinks, his eyes narrowing. “So this is on me?” The familiar accent is a little rougher around the edges. “You’re losin’ matches ‘cause I’m not callin’ you enough? That’s what you’re sayin’?”

“Don’t play dumb, Ben. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about” You feel the bitterness twisting in your chest. ““You’re barely here, Ben. Half the time, I don’t even know if we’re still together or if we’re just two people sending pointless messages every few hours. Half the time, it feels like I’m talking to a ghost.”

He lets out a frustrated laugh, shaking his head. “You think it’s any easier for me? I’ve got my own stuff, my own schedule, darlin'. I’ve got my career to think about too, you know, this ain't just about you.”

Your jaw tightens. “Yeah, well, at least when I'm on the court, I don’t exactly have the luxury of tuning you out, Ben. I’m not the one who forgets to call after saying I would. I don’t have time for half-assed texts and waiting around for you to call when you feel like it.”

“Oh, don’t go there,” he mutters, rolling his eyes. “You know what it’s like. The fans, the interviews, the time spent on court-”

“Yeah, I get it, Ben. But last week, you bailed on a call to go sign autographs. Priorities, right?”

He takes a deep breath, visibly holding back. “C’mon, babe, you don’t mean that.”

But you press on, unable to stop yourself. “You’re too busy with whatever ‘big thing’ you have going on, right? Maybe if you cared enough to focus on your game instead of your ‘commitments,’ you wouldn’t have dropped that finals match. Just maybe.”

He flinches, his expression turning dark. “Oh, that's low from you, Y/N. You really wanna go there?”

“Yeah, I do,” you say, your voice unwavering.

He pauses, his face hardening. “If you were out here on the ATP tour, you’d understand how rough it really is. You wouldn't even get past a challenger. It ain’t the same league as the WTA.”

You laughed, a cold, bitter sound. “Oh, don’t even start with that. Rougher than the WTA? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Maybe come and join WTA then, you wouldn't manage it out here either, Ben.”

He snaps, his voice cutting like a whip. “You know how much I’m fightin’ to make a name for myself out here. Just ‘cause you got a few more shiny titles doesn’t mean you get to talk down to me like this.”

The sting of his words hits like a slap. Your face flushes, a mix of anger and hurt bubbling up. “So, that’s it? Just because I’ve actually earned my success, I’m some kind of… what? Nag?”

“I didn’t say that,” he shot back, voice tight, his eyes narrowing as he looked away. “But maybe you’re doin’ too much. Bein’ all… dramatic, blamin’ me for stuff I got no control over.”

“Right, okay, so I’m being dramatic,” you scoff, your voice edged with sarcasm. “I’m the one asking for too much because I want something real, something you clearly can’t give.”

He laughs, bitter and raw. “Maybe you just want too damn much.”

You feel the tears prickling behind your eyes, but you clench your jaw, holding yourself together by sheer force of will. Your voice trembles as you speak, the words thick with a pain you can’t contain. “I just want you to care, Ben, or at least pretend to care and make it believable. I want you to care enough to be here when it matters. But you’re so wrapped up in yourself, you don’t even see it.”

His face hardens, his jaw set, but his eyes hold a flicker of something unspoken. “You think I don’t care? I’m out here pushin’ myself every day, for us, for this future we’re supposed to be building 'n shit. But it’s like no matter what I do, it ain’t enough for you.”

A sharp knock sounds from his end, followed by muffled voices. He glances away, then back at you, irritation flaring in his eyes. “Look, I gotta go. Dad’s waitin’ on me; he already gave me an extra ten minutes to talk.”

You feel your heart twist, an ache of disappointment settling in. “Oh, of course,” you mutter, your voice dripping with bitterness. “Go ahead. I’m sure your training’s way more important than anything I have to say.”

He turns back, his eyes blazing with frustration. “Maybe it is right now,” he spits. “Talkin’ to you like this, all it’s doin’ is makin’ things worse. We're not getting anywhere like this-”

The words cut deeper than you expect, and you can barely hold back the surge of anger and heartbreak choking you. “Fine. Go, then. At least one of us can prioritise something.”

He scoffs, shaking his head as he looks away. “You’re bein’ unfair, 'n you know it.”

“Am I?” you whisper, your voice tight and choked. “Or am I just done waiting for you to show up?”

You stare at each other, an endless silence stretching between you, sharp and seething, words too heavy to be unsaid. Then, with a frustrated shake of his head, he mutters, “I can’t do this right now. I’ll talk to you later. When you’re not actin’ like this.”

Before you could respond, he hung up, his face disappearing from your screen, leaving you alone with nothing but the cold light of your phone. Your hands shook as you stared at the blank screen, tears finally spilling over.

With trembling fingers, you took a breath, letting a cold, steely calm settle over you. You typed out a simple, blunt message, leaving no room for second-guessing, no room for soft words or explanations. Just the truth, as raw as you felt.

“We’re done. I can’t do this anymore, Ben. I’m sorry.”

Your thumb lingered for a second before hitting “send,” and as soon as the message went through, you blocked him on every platform, cutting off any way for him to respond, to apologise, to convince you otherwise.

But as you tossed your phone aside, a crack appeared in the calm you’d forced on yourself. The tears came suddenly, your breath hitching as a tidal wave of heartbreak surged through you. You buried your face in your hands, pressing your palms against your eyes as if you could somehow contain the emotions clawing their way to the surface. You tried to stay quiet, muffling the sound in the dark, but the weight was too much, every sob raw, grieving and heavy, pouring out the frustration, the loneliness, and the love you’d tried so hard to salvage.

By the time your tears subsided, you felt utterly drained, hollowed out in a way that made everything around you feel distant and surreal. The city lights flickered outside your window, the glow indifferent to the storm that had torn through you. And in that quiet, broken moment, with only the shadows as company, you lay there, letting the exhaustion seep through your bones until sleep claimed you.

When sleep finally came, it was restless, fractured. You tossed and turned, flashes of memories from better days with Ben haunting you, the sound of his laugh, the way he’d smile, gummy and wide, his nose scrunching with that easy confidence. You woke up more exhausted than when you’d closed your eyes, feeling like you hadn’t rested at all. But you forced yourself out of bed, pushing yourself through your pre-game routine, your emotions locked away, frozen under layers of determination.

As you walked onto the court, the crowd buzzed with excitement, but you barely registered it. You were a storm, calm on the surface but seething underneath. Every shot you took was hard and brutal, the ball slicing through the air with an intensity that made your opponent flinch, the impact echoing through the stadium. You played as if your life depended on it, your body moving with sharp, lethal precision.

Your serves were relentless, your groundstrokes vicious, each one faster, sharper, as if each shot were a way to expel the anger and hurt still simmering in your chest. The crowd murmured, noticing the shift in your energy, the way you were pushing yourself, almost recklessly. A couple of times, your shots zipped past your opponent’s hand, barely missing, almost daring her to try and reach for it - "try me". You were untouchable, unstoppable, playing like you had something to prove.

But there was no smile, no hint of joy in your movements, solely mechanical. The usual lightness in your footwork was gone, replaced by a cold, ruthless efficiency. You’d already decided: this match was yours. You weren’t here to give an inch, weren’t here to let any lingering emotions cloud your focus. The crowd might have wanted excitement, but you were giving them precision, a display of control and fury that left no room for doubt.

You won, of course. Your opponent barely had a chance. But as you walked off the court, sweat trickling down your brow, fists clenched, you felt no thrill in the victory. Just the dull ache that lingered, a hollow space where your lightness, your smile, used to be. The heat of the court only made your head throb. The applause faded into background noise as you strode away, head high, shoulders tense. You’d won, but it felt like a hollow victory. You had no one to text after your game, anyone to call you baby - you had done it to yourself, were you really that desperate for a man to validate you? You were sick of feeling this way, sick of the exhaustion, the anger, the loneliness that clung to you even after everything you’d given today. At least, for now, you’d proven something, to yourself, to him, even if he’d never know, or care.

In the month that followed, you threw yourself harshly into your schedule, determined to erase any trace of him from your routine, your heart. Matches, training, travel, interviews, photoshoots, more matches, each day bled into the next, filled with an almost mechanical sense of purpose. If you weren’t on the court, you were working out, perfecting your strokes, spending hours on serves and footwork. Anything to exhaust yourself to stop the thoughts from lingering too long. Your routine was relentless, your focus razor-sharp.

But even in this frenzy, despite it all, reminders of him still slipped through. You’d scroll through social media, and every so often, an ATP post would pop up: Ben at a tournament, Ben celebrating a point, Ben grinning with that easy charm that used to make your heart ache. He looked different now. His curls were longer, spilling out from over his sweaty headband, and his frame had hardened, leaner, with muscle that seemed to outline his strength in sharper lines. His chubby cheeks had slimmed down into something harder, replaced by the quiet confidence of someone who’d grown, adapted, maybe even suffered a little.

And you could almost feel it, the quaking, gaping pain of missing him, but you’d swallow it back down, pull yourself together, and look away.

Your own press conferences became something else entirely. You were more composed, a bit sharper with your words, confident in a way you hadn’t been before. Where you used to smile shyly or laugh softly, now you leaned in with humour, a hint of flirtation, your charm more self-assured. You handled reporters’ questions deftly, especially the ones that tried to pry about Ben. The same questions came up over and over:

“So, do you still keep in touch with Ben?”

Each time, you’d respond with a practised, cool smile. “Right now, I’ve got all the support I need from my team and the people I have with me.” You’d turn the conversation to your work, your skill, and your grind on the court, dismissing the topic with subtle elegance, always steering it back to your goals, your game, and your people.

Yet, away from the cameras, the facade cracked, if only slightly. Sometimes, after a long match or a particularly brutal day of training, you’d find yourself scrolling through your old photos or feeling tears prickling your eyes, this messy situation taking a bigger toll than you would like to admit.

In his hotel room, Ben watched your interviews alone, a faint crease between his brows. There you were, in all your brilliance, flashing a confident smile at the camera, handling the press with a wit and boldness that felt both familiar and strange. He could see the way you’d grown, the way you’d steeled yourself, and it stirred something in him, a pang he couldn’t ignore. It was like watching someone he knew intimately and yet… not at all. The way you answered questions about him, and your subtle redirection to your career and team, it stung. Maybe it was petty, but he missed the way you used to talk about him with such pride, with that lovestruck glow. He loved seeing how shy you would get at the sheer mention of his name. Your hair was different, your skin glowing, you had more confidence, even if it came off a bit cocky but he still felt like you were his, just as much as he was yours. Ben didn’t know how to reach out, didn’t know what he’d even say. There was a distance now, both physical and emotional, that seemed impossible to bridge. He’d scroll through his own phone sometimes, finding old messages, ones before distance got the better of you both, photos of the two of you, half-written scripts in his Notes app he couldn’t bring himself to deliver. If he flew out tonight to you, what would he even do after? He’d think of calling you, of reaching out somehow, but the memory of your last fight, the bitterness in your voice, the way you’d shut him out… it held him back.

One evening, as you sat alone in the players' lounge, your forehead pressed against the back of the sofa, you felt that familiar ache pulse through you, the one that came every time you thought of him. It was then that Coco came by, her familiar, steady presence filling the room as she settled down across from you, cross-legged on the seat in front of you. Over the past year, it was Ben that introduced you but, you and Coco had grown even closer, bound not just by shared victories and losses but by the pressures only someone like her could truly understand.

Coco tilted her head, her gaze warm but unwavering. “Alright,” she said, cutting through the silence. “What’s really going on? Are you… over him?”

You exhaled slowly, running a hand through your hair as you tried to gather your thoughts. “I wish I could say yes,” you murmured. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried to move on, focus on the game, on everything else, but… he’s still everywhere. Even when I’m doing well, even when I’m focused, it’s like… something’s missing.” Your voice dropped to barely a whisper. “It’s like I can’t fully shake him.”

Coco nodded, her expression both sympathetic and knowing. “I get it. You two had something real, something intense. But maybe this time apart is what you both need. I mean, look at you. You’re stronger now, on and off the court. Maybe that’s part of this whole journey, you know?”

You managed a faint smile, though your heart still felt heavy. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. It just… doesn’t always feel like enough.”

She reached out, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Trust me. If he’s the right guy, he’ll figure it out, too. Until then? Focus on your game. Focus on you.”

Her words stayed with you, offering a small but steady comfort in the days that followed. You have been throwing yourself into training, pouring everything into the sport, trying to find solace in each match and each moment of growth. Somewhere out there, he was doing the same, and maybe, just maybe, this was what was best.

But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t completely smother the small spark of hope, that someday, somehow, your paths might cross again.

It was similar in the men’s locker room, Ben slumped forward on the bench, his elbows propped on his knees as he stared blankly at the floor, holding an uncapped bottle of water. Frances Tiafoe, who’d been eyeing him from across the room, exchanged a knowing glance with Taylor Fritz before making his way over.

“Alright, bro, spill it,” Frances said, tossing a towel over his shoulder as he leaned in. “You’ve been lookin’ like you’re living in some sad dog for weeks.”

Ben gave him a sidelong glance. “There’s nothin’ to talk about.”

Taylor rolled his eyes as he joined them, settling down on the other side of Ben. “Come on, man. We’re not blind. Ever since she blocked you, you’ve been… different.”

Ben scoffed, looking away, his voice low. “She didn’t just block me, man. She… she threw down, real hard. Said some things I thought she’d never say.”

Frances let out a low whistle. “Was that rough, huh?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, rubbing a hand over his face, his frustration mingling with regret. “It all just blew up. We were on a call, talkin’ like usual, and suddenly… it was like everything we hadn’t said just came out. She starts throwin’ things at me about how I’m not there, like… like I don’t care enough or not workin' hard enough. And it pissed me off, you know? I work just as hard, and it’s not like I’m sittin’ around, right?”

Taylor nodded, leaning back against the lockers. “So, what’d you do?”

Ben shrugged, his expression pained. “I pushed back, told her she couldn’t keep actin’ like she’s the only one workin’ for this. Told her ATP is just as tough, maybe even more competitive. Didn’t mean it that way, but she took it wrong. She thought I was tryin’ to downplay her game.”

Frances shook his head, giving Ben a sympathetic look. “Man, she must’ve felt hurt.”

“Yeah,” Ben muttered, a bitter laugh escaping him. “And next thing I know, I get this text. ‘This isn’t workin', we’re done.’ Blocked me on everything. Cold as ice, man. It’s like she flipped a switch, just… shut me out completely, as easy as shuttin' a door.”

Frances gave him a gentle nudge. “You still care about her?”

Ben’s gaze softened, a faint smile breaking through his frustration. “Yeah, man. She’s… she’s my girl. Even if she’s not my girl right now, you know?”

Taylor chuckled, nodding. “So, what’re you gonna do about it? Sit around here moping, or actually make a move?”

Ben sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “What am I supposed to do? She’s made it pretty clear she’s done with me.”

Frances grinned, crossing his arms. “Bro, just ‘cause she blocked you and sent a text after you called her game easy, doesn’t mean it’s over. She’s mad, yeah, but she’s probably missin’ you just as much. You just gotta show her you’re willin’ to do what it takes.”

Taylor nodded in agreement, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “And it doesn’t have to be some big romantic gesture, man. Sometimes, it’s the small things. Something to let her know you’re still thinkin’ of her, still care. You know where we're at next, right?”

Ben chuckled, shaking his head. “And do what? Just show up at her hotel room? She’s liable to call cops on my ass for that shit, bro.”

Frances laughed, shrugging. “So what? At least she’ll know you tried! Don't go doin' that though. Look, I’ve been with my girl for years now, and sometimes, you gotta be willing to look like a fool to show her you care.”

Ben leaned back, their words sinking in. He could still feel the sting of the things she’d said, the accusations she’d thrown at him like he didn’t care, didn’t work just as hard. But he couldn’t deny that he’d made mistakes, too. He’d let his pride get in the way, said things he regretted, and let the frustration of it all get the better of him.

Frances nudged him again, his grin widening. “Think about it, man. You got two choices: sit here, feeling sorry for yourself until she finds some other guy, or actually do something about it and get her back, even if that means standing in the rain with a fuckin' speaker.”

Ben finally cracked a smile, looking between his friends. “Y’all are ridiculous.”

“Hey, maybe,” Taylor said with a shrug. “But at least we got girlfriends. And you? You got a chance to get yours back. Just gotta decide if she’s worth it.”

Ben sat there, mulling over their words as a new determination started to burn within him. Maybe he didn’t have all the answers, and maybe there was a lot he’d have to figure out. But if there was even a chance to fix things, to bridge that gap that felt so wide, he wasn’t about to let his pride hold him back.

As he left the locker room that night, he felt a resolve solidify within him. He’d find a way to reach out, to let her know that no matter how far apart they were, she was still the one he wanted. Because when it came down to it, she was worth every bit of the fight.

A week went by before a 1000 game flew in, and both ATP and WTA were present if not, nearby for the games. You couldn't care less what was at stake, anything was a win if it kept you occupied. The courts were almost empty, shadows lengthening as the sun beamed high above. You bounced the ball steadily, the rhythm calm, your focus laser-sharp. The only sounds were the muted thud of your shoes on the court, and your breath falling into sync with the beat of your earbuds. Nothing but you, the court, and the quiet.

But then, that voice broke through.

"Aw, c'mon, man!" A laugh, deep and full of that unmistakable Southern drawl. Your grip faltered, the ball hovering mid-toss. That laugh, it was a sound you hadn’t let yourself think about for months, one that held too much of him.

Ben.

Your pulse jolted, the memories flooding back, warmth and bitterness tangled in the knots of your chest. You gritted your teeth, tossing the ball high before slamming it against the court, the crack of impact sharp in the quiet. It almost felt satisfying, like you could obliterate the tension he brought, shatter it with sheer force.

Almost.

You readied another serve, the ball bouncing harder than necessary as you forced yourself not to look. But you could feel his gaze, that familiar weight of his eyes lingering on you. The pull was magnetic, almost maddening, and despite every ounce of resolve you’d built up, your gaze betrayed you, slipping over to catch a glimpse of him.

Ben, laughing with Taylor, curls tousled longer than before, his hoodie slung carelessly over those familiar, ridiculous short shorts. The same hoodie you'd worn too many times to count, drowning in its warmth during late-night snack runs and lazy Sundays. The sight tugged painfully, a cruel reminder of the little things you’d pushed down, tried to forget.

He caught you looking, and his laughter faded, his gaze holding yours for just a second too long. You gripped the ball tighter, the ache settling heavy, and forced yourself to turn away, channelling the flurry of memories into another sharp serve, a fierce crack reverberating across the court. You didn’t look back again.

Hours later, your body was tired, your mind a bit clearer. You were scrolling through your phone in the lounge, zoning out, when Coco dropped down beside you with that familiar, mischievous grin.

"Hey, you!" She nudged you, hands on her hips.

You eyed her warily. "What’s up, Coco? Awfully perky for...5:30p.m."

“We’re having dinner tonight. Big group. Wanna come?” Her tone was casual, a little too casual.

Your guard went up immediately as you dropped your phone to your lap. “Who’s ‘we all’?”

Coco shrugged, twirling a loose curl around her finger. “Me, Frances, Arthur… maybe another WTA girl or two. Just a fun little dinner. Nothing formal.”

You narrowed your eyes, reading the glint of mischief in hers. "Coco, don’t mess with me. He's not gonna be there, right?"

She tilted her head, pretending to look innocent, but the sly smile gave her away. "Well… he might show up, but that's on his own accord. I didn't mention anything to Ben and it’s not like anyone’s setting anything up! It’s just dinner."

Your stomach twisted, a sigh slipping from your lips as you looked away. “I don’t think so. Not after… everything.” Your voice softened the weight of old arguments and unsaid things hanging between the words.

Coco’s face softened, her hand finding your shoulder. “Look, I’m not saying you have to sit next to him or anything. It’s a big table. You can stay on the opposite end and ignore him if that’s what you need. But everyone misses you, it’s been ages since we all got together. We all need to see your pretty face off the court too, ya know?”

You hesitated, rolling your eyes, the ache of missing them settling somewhere deep, the sense of family you hadn’t felt in months tugging at you. After a long pause, you finally nodded, rolling your shoulders back as if bracing for a match. “Fine. But I’m serious, Coco, no funny business. If he starts anything, I’m out.”

Coco grinned, throwing her arm around you. “Girl, trust me. If anything, you’ll be giving him the funny looks. Just friends, no drama. Now, let’s go get you out of those sweats.”

Meanwhile, in the locker room across the court, Ben was doing his best to act indifferent as Frances nudged him for the third time.

"C'mon, man!" Frances said, leaning against the lockers with a knowing grin. "So you are coming to this dinner tonight, right? Don't make me beg again, I'll start singing.”

Ben tried to play it cool, leaning back with his arms crossed. “I don’t know, man. You really think it’s a good idea?”

Frances rolled his eyes. “Look, you’ve been moping for months. She’s not gonna make a scene in public, and especially not with all of us, and who knows? Maybe she’ll talk to you, be all civil. It’s worth a shot.”

Ben let out a huff, rubbing the back of his neck. “Civil? You remember the last time we spoke, right? She has me blocked on everything.”

Taylor, stretching nearby, smirked and chimed in. “Man, you got nothin’ to lose. At the very least, you’ll see her. I saw how you were after you caught a glimpse of her training earlier. Besides, Frances and Coco will keep her from killin’ you.”

“Kay, thanks,” Ben muttered, though a flicker of hope sparked under the sarcasm. He didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t shake the longing to see her again, to maybe fix even a sliver of what had been broken.

Taylor nudged him, grinning. “Hey, listen, if I wasn’t taking Morgan out tonight, I’d be there just for moral support. But hey, maybe next time it’ll be a double date. Me, you, Morgan and your soon-to-be girlfriend, just like old times.”

Ben shook his head, the thought both terrifying and oddly thrilling. “You’re jokin’, right? She’d probably throw her drink at me before she’d sit through a double date.”

“Only if you act like an idiot,” Frances pointed out, laughing. “Just be yourself, man. You can handle the heat on the court, you can handle this. And maybe tonight’ll be the thing that finally breaks the ice.”

Ben sighed, running a hand over his face before finally surrendering. “Alright, alright. Fine. I’ll go. But Frances, don’t expect me to be all… chatty.”

Frances clapped him on the back, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. “Yeah, you say that now. But I know how you get around her, man. Just don’t chicken out. Remember, we got your back.”

Ben couldn’t help but smile nervously, feeling a strange mix of dread and anticipation tighten in his chest. He wasn’t sure if this dinner would be a chance at redemption or just a painful reminder of how far they’d drifted, but one thing was clear, he was tired of hiding from whatever was left between them.

You walk into the restaurant and let Coco lead you to a long table, feeling an odd mix of nerves and determination fluttering in your stomach. Your outfit is cute but simple, just a sweater and leggings; just enough effort to feel put together without trying too hard. You take a seat between Coco and Arthur Fils, with Frances across from you. There’s an empty chair across from Arthur, and for some reason, that empty space makes your heart beat a little faster, feeling torn between wanting and avoiding Ben there.

As everyone settles in, you catch Coco’s eye and mutter, “Please tell me he’s not actually coming.” She just shrugs with an easy smile.

Moments later, as the group banters along, about to order drinks, Ben strolls in, catching you entirely off-guard. He’s slightly out of breath, apologising to the group with that familiar grin, explaining he’s late because he’d just finished showering after practice. You can’t help it, you nudge Coco under the table, whispering through gritted teeth, a frustrated, “Great.”

Coco just gives him a casual greeting, and you force yourself to turn back to the table, focusing your attention on ordering a glass of wine, pretending not to notice him as he takes that empty seat across from Arthur, just barely within your view, diagonally. But as he sits down, you feel his eyes on you, and for a brief moment, you glance up and catch him staring, his face almost dazed.

You’re caught off-guard by the look in his eyes. His breath seems to hitch, his big brown eyes wide and you can see a faint blush creeping up his neck as he stares at you, almost like he’s seeing you for the first time all over again. There’s a softness in his expression that you weren’t prepared for, a kind of awe that makes your stomach twist with memories and longing. But just as quickly, you look away, turning your attention to your wine as Frances elbows Ben with a teasing hiss, “Be normal, man.”

Throughout the night, you manage to keep to yourself, mostly talking to the other WTA players or Arthur whenever he cracks a joke. You keep Ben at the edge of your vision, resolute in ignoring the way his gaze keeps drifting back to you.

Every once in a while, Ben attempts to draw you into the conversation, maybe a lighthearted comment or a direct question, but each time, you meet his gaze with a steely look, making it clear with just one glance that you’re not interested. When he tries again, you let your eyes meet his for a moment, long enough to show him you’re serious before turning away, cutting off his effort entirely, almost to say "not interested". Across the table, Frances raises his brows, murmuring with a barely hidden smirk, “Damn, she is good at this,” as Ben slouches slightly, clearly trying not to look embarrassed.

As dinner winds down, the plates are cleared away, and you excuse yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment alone. Inside, you take a deep breath, facing yourself in the mirror. You’d been bracing yourself for tonight, but nothing quite prepared you for how it would feel to see him sitting right there, looking at you with those big sweet brown eyes and a pout, filled with that same soft pleading that used to make you melt.

But tonight, all it did was remind you of those late nights waiting by your phone, checking it over and over for messages that came slower and slower until they just…stopped. It reminds you of the countless hours wondering if you mattered as much as you thought you did, replaying his empty promises and half-hearted reassurances that seemed to fade with each passing day. He couldn't expect you to take him back with a pout and some half-assed joke. But damn, was it a good attempt, he knew how to make you crumble, even if it wasn't his sole intention.

You force yourself to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear as you look in the bathroom mirror examining yourself with a sigh, applying a bit of lip balm with fingers that tremble just slightly. Anything to distract yourself, to remind yourself that you’re strong enough to face this without breaking, reminding yourself to keep that mask on. You straighten your posture, determined to push all those memories back down where they belong, buried.

But just as you step out of the bathroom, Ben is standing right there, leaning against the wall as if he’d been waiting for you. His eyes soften the moment they meet yours, and he opens his mouth, his voice just a whisper. “Can we…talk? Just the two of us?”

The look he gives you, hopeful, no, desperate, stirs something deep inside you, and you clench your jaw, wanting to say no, wanting to walk away without a second thought. But as much as you’d like to ignore it, part of you still aches for some kind of closure, maybe even just one honest conversation.

With a reluctant sigh, you nod. “Fine. Outside.”

As you head out the restaurant’s door, you quickly fire off a text to Coco:

me n Ben talking outside. brb.

You stuff your phone back into your bag, clutching it tightly to your shoulder as you step into the cool night air. Wrapping your arms under your chest, you try to keep yourself shielded from more than just the chilling breeze.

Ben falls into step beside you, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. There’s a moment of silence as you both find your footing, the quiet thick with everything that’s been left unsaid. You glance sideways, catching him opening his mouth like he’s about to say something, only to close it, his shoulders shifting awkwardly.

“So… how’s the tournament going for you?” he starts, his tone casual, a little too casual.

You blink, trying not to roll your eyes, feeling the irritation growing. Really? But you bite back and just sternly say, “Ben.”

He rubs the back of his neck, glancing up at the streetlights overhead. “Sorry, yeah, that was- uh, okay.” He lets out a breath and shuffles closer, his voice almost a murmur. “I just… I wanna make this right. Another chance- Just thought maybe… you know, talkin’ would be easier if…”

“Ben, stop.” You sigh, tightening your grip on your bag strap. “Stop being weird. Just… just say what you have to say, and let’s get this over with. Let's not make this longer than it needs to be, I've got shit to do tomorrow.”

He glances at you, brows knitting together. For a second, he looks almost frustrated, like he’s holding back something sharper, something rougher. But he lets it pass, letting out a long, resigned breath. “Fine. I’ll just ask one thing.”

You arch an eyebrow, scepticism thick in your voice. “One question. Shoot.”

His voice comes out softer, edged with a hesitant curiosity as if he knows it’s a stupid question but can’t help but ask. “What hotel you stayin’ at?”

You let out a dry chuckle, shaking your head. “The Merrion.”

His eyes widen slightly, a small, stupid smile breaking on his face. “No way… me too.”

You sigh, looking up at the night sky, feeling the inevitability of whatever this night is becoming. Of course, he’s at the same hotel. Only Ben could make the universe align like this. And only Ben would think of a stupid question like that. He shifts his weight, stepping closer, his gaze steady.

“Look,” he starts, “it’s just a short walk back, twenty minutes or so. Just… give me that time. Just enough to walk back. Let me talk. And then you can go to your room and go to bed. How 'bout it?”

There’s a hopeful edge in his voice that you can’t ignore, and for a moment, your resolve falters. It’s ridiculous, this is exactly the sort of thing he would come up with, some half-baked plan to get you to keep listening, to keep him around just a little longer. You want to roll your eyes, to brush him off, but something about the way he’s looking at you, those earnest, brown eyes so damn full of longing, makes you sigh.

“Fine,” you mutter. “But if you get weird again, I’m out. No small talk, you know how much I hate it.”

A small grin creeps onto his face, and he falls into step beside you, a little closer than necessary, his arm brushing against yours as you start down the quiet street. For a minute, he doesn’t say anything, just walks alongside you, letting the silence settle around you both. But then, in that familiar southern drawl, his voice comes softer.

“Y’know, I've been thinkin’ ‘bout us a lot… probably more than I should.”

You keep your eyes on the sidewalk ahead, willing yourself to stay unmoved. “And?”

He swallows, his gaze tracing your profile, softening with each word. “I messed up,” he admits. “I know I did. I shoulda… been there more, answered more, I dunno. Shoulda been better at handlin’ it.”

You nod slightly, keeping your face blank. “Mhm, you should've.”

There’s a flicker of frustration in his expression, but he doesn’t let it throw him off. “You think I didn’t feel it too? That whole time, it felt like- hell, like I was losin’ you, like somethin’ was slippin’ right outta my hands, and I couldn’t do nothin’ to stop it.”

You feel the tension in your shoulders loosen just a fraction, though you keep your arms folded as a kind of armour. His words settle into the silence, raw and rough, and you can feel him glancing over, waiting for some kind of response. But you keep your gaze forward, biting back the little stirrings of emotion that are beginning to creep in.

He keeps talking, voice low and steady, drawing you in without giving you a chance to look away. “I’m not tryin’ to make excuses, alright? I know I coulda tried harder. But it’s like… the more I tried, the harder it got. The distance, the time zones, the schedules… it all just made me feel like I couldn’t keep up. And I just didn't know how to juggle it and that's my fault.”

You shake your head slightly, finally glancing over at him, the faintest of smirks tugging at the corner of your mouth. “So this is your way of apologising?”

He laughs, a little sheepish. “Guess I’m not real good at it, huh?” He nudges you with his shoulder, a familiar, easy gesture that makes your arms slowly loosen. His hand brushes your arm, just for a second, and a warmth blooms where his fingers graze your skin as if your body’s memory of him can’t help but respond.

“Look,” he says, his voice dipping softer, “I just… I miss you so much. Like hell.”

The honesty in his tone hits you hard, unravelling the cold exterior you’ve worked so hard to keep up. He keeps his eyes on you, watching your face carefully as if gauging your reaction. You feel your resolve slipping even more, your arms slowly falling to your sides, your heart aching as you fight against the wave of warmth that’s threatening to break through.

“Ben…” you start, barely a whisper, but you don’t know what to say, feeling torn.

He moves a little closer, his eyes wide, pleading, like he’s trying to hold onto every inch of you he can. “I know I messed up, okay? But I don’t wanna lose you. Not for good. Please, Y/N. Give me one more chance, you won't regret it 'n if I fuck up bad, you can do whatever, however; I deserve it but please. Just one more chance.”

You press your lips tight together, feeling your heart tighten as his words sink in, as he stands there looking at you with that same vulnerability you’d once fallen in love with. For a second, you forget the hurt, the sleepless nights, and you’re left with just him, the version of him that’s open, sincere, the Ben you’d once held so close.

The walk to the hotel stretches out as he keeps talking, spilling out and laying his heart bare with that easy, boyish charm that only he can pull off, and little by little, you feel your icy exterior start to melt. He talks about his time away from you, how he admired you from videos, watched highlight reels, his endless hours at night going through photos and texts; the whole lot. He cracks a joke, and despite yourself, you smile, trying to hide it but failing. He nudges you again, grinning as he sees the hint of laughter breaking through your guard.

He apologises over and over, more earnestly each time, his voice steady and low, and you can hear the regret, the guilt, the need to make things right. By the time you reach the hotel entrance, you’re feeling something dangerously close to hope, your heart betraying you, making it harder and harder to keep up the facade.

You glance over at him, catching the way his eyes soften as he looks at you as if you’re the only thing he can see. He’s staring, the blush from earlier creeping back up his neck, and when his hand brushes yours one last time, you don’t pull away.

You stand just outside the hotel, a faint chill brushing past as the streetlights cast a warm glow around you. You shift on your feet, glancing up at him, your eyes soft but determined.

“Can I talk?” you ask, breaking the quiet, your voice barely above a whisper. The first thing you had actually said this entire time.

Ben raises an eyebrow, leaning in with a playful smirk. “Talk? What else have we been doin’ for the last twenty minutes, girl?”

You roll your eyes and reach out to smack his arm, earning a chuckle from him. “Fine then. Can we go up to your room?” you add, a small, daring smile tugging at your lips.

Ben’s eyebrow quirks higher. “My room, huh?” His gaze narrows, teasing you with that familiar glint. “What exactly ya got planned, sweetheart?”

You swat him again, harder this time, and he laughs, raising his hands in mock defence. But then you drop the smile, your voice softer. “I wanna talk about what I did, Ben. I messed up too.”

The teasing fades from his expression as he studies your face, searching. After a pause, he nods and gestures toward the lobby. “Alright, then. Let’s go talk.”

In the elevator, silence hangs thick in the air, tension as familiar as it is unspoken. You don't even notice, spending your time stilling your breath and running through everything you want to apologise for. When you reach his room, you head over to the small couch by the window and settle in, tucking your legs under you and giving him a steady look.

“Ya gettin’ comfortable already?” he jokes, leaning against the wall, his eyes dancing with that old spark that makes you ache.

You try not to smile, steeling yourself for your confessional. “Can you be serious for a minute?”

His smile fades as he walks over, sitting across from you, his gaze intense and focused. You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything you’ve held back.

“I shouldn’t have put so many expectations on you,” you begin, your voice wavering. “You’ve got your own life, your own competitions, your own dreams. All this constant travelling, the different time zones… it’s not fair to expect you to be there every time I needed you at the drop of a hat. You get burnt out too- God. I never even asked how you were before I'd launch into my own day.”

You bite your lip, blinking back tears as they start to blur your vision. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve been more understanding, given you more grace.” Your voice catches, barely a whisper now. “And what I said… on that call… it was cruel, Ben. I was mean and unfair, and you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve any of it. At all. I wouldn't want myself back after all I had said and done.”

As a tear slips down your cheek, Ben’s face softens, and he reaches out without hesitation, his hands cupping your face as he brushes the tear away. His thumb lingers on your skin, his gaze is unwavering, and then he leans forward, pressing the gentlest kiss to your temple, another to your forehead, and a final one at the crown of your head, his hand resting tenderly against your hair.

You let out a shuddered breath, your hands covering his as you finally let everything pour out. “I miss you so much,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I miss everything about you… the way you laugh, your ridiculous voice…” Another tear rolls down, and you don’t try to hold back. “I miss the way you’d talk about cars or food for ages, and you’d make everything feel so normal, even when my life was a mess. Without you, it’s like this haze I can’t shake. I just… I miss you. I barely recognise myself these days.”

Your body shakes with the sobs you’ve tried so hard to bury, and Ben doesn’t hesitate. He pulls you close, wrapping you in his arms like he could shield you from all the pain, all the regret. He holds you there, one hand smoothing over your hair, his lips pressing soft, tender kisses to your forehead and cheeks, murmuring gentle words against your skin.

“S’all right, darlin’,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m here. I’m right here with you.”

You cling to him, burying your face into the crook of his neck, as his hands trace soothing circles along your back. Your sobs gradually quiet, but your breaths are still shaky, each exhale unsteady.

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” you manage, voice barely audible.

He pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “Hey now,” he murmurs, his tone warm and grounding. “We both made mistakes. Ain’t just on you, alright? Takes two to mess up, but it takes two to fix it too. We can fix, can't we?”

You nod, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, feeling a little of the weight lift, softened by his words.

Ben tilts your head to hold your gaze, his own eyes glassy. “Can’t tell ya how many times I thought about callin’ ya or flying to ya,” he admits, his voice low. “How many times I’d pull up your name, wonderin’ what you’d say if I told ya all the things I wished I’d said. But I was… hell, I was scared, darlin’. Thought maybe I’d screwed up too bad, and you’d moved on.”

You shake your head, a small, breathy laugh escaping. “I couldn’t...I could never.”

He strokes your hair gently, his lips brushing your forehead once more. “Guess we’re both a couple of fools then, huh?”

You laugh softly, the sound wet and trembling as he pulls you back into his arms. You lean into him, letting yourself feel the warmth of his embrace, the steady beat of his heart, grounding you. Wrapped in the quiet, tangled together, you both hold on a little tighter, feeling the rawness of your honesty and the comfort of finally, finally being close again. In the safety of his arms, you feel, for the first time in so long, a sense of peace, letting the unspoken words settle around you like a quiet promise.

Ben’s hand rests on your cheek, his thumb tracing small circles as he learns your face all over again, making your heart flutter. His fingers move slowly, grazing down to your jaw, then up again, threading into your hair. You let your eyes close for a moment, his gentle touch working its way through the tension of the night, and a small, contented sigh escapes you. For the first time in weeks, you feel relaxed and content.

“Gettin’ comfortable, huh?” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing, though there’s a warmth in his eyes that wasn’t there before. He leans in, giving one final push to a stray strand of your hair before tilting his head toward the bed across the room. “C’mon, darlin’. This couch is barely holdin’ us together.”

You hesitate, but Ben’s already moving, holding out his hand as he stands up. His grip is strong, guiding you as you follow him to the bed, and he lets out a soft chuckle as you settle beside him. His arm drapes around you, pulling you close as you lean into him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against you. The warmth is so consuming, cocooning you immediately.

Ben smiles down at you, a playful glint in his eye, and as his fingers find your hair again, he starts twirling a strand between his fingers. “So,” he murmurs, resting his cheek on the top of your head, “ya still gonna keep me blocked, huh?”

You roll your eyes, smirking. “Fine,” you reply, unlocking your phone with a playful huff. You find his name, well, technically his new contact name since you’d deleted him in a fit of anger, and type a single white heart emoji, pressing send.

The vibration of his phone buzzes beside him, and he pulls it out with a grin, holding up the glowing screen. “There it is. Knew ya couldn’t resist me,” he says, laughing as he pulls you in close as he kisses your temple.

But just as you relax against him, you notice a missed notification. It’s a text from Coco, her reply to your earlier message asking where she’d disappeared to after dinner. You hesitate, then, instead of texting back, you tap the Facetime icon, feeling a strange urge to share this quiet moment, finding words couldn't suffice, nor were you in the mood to type out a lengthy paragraph.

The call connects, and Coco’s face appears, a gasp escaping her as she spots you two tangled up in Ben’s bed, nestled together with his arm around you.

“Oh my god! Yes!” she cheers, loud enough to make Ben chuckle. You hear laughter and cheers in the background too, and Coco turns the camera, revealing the whole dinner table watching with knowing smiles.

"Coco, this was a set-up plan, huh?" you giggle as you see the entire friend group on the other end.

"Somewhat, but blame Morgan and Taylor, not me. They did all that," she throws the blame as she points the camera over to them. Frances, Morgan and Taylor wave and Frances yells “Look at Ben! Already got her in bed, huh?”

Ben rolls his eyes, but a faint blush colours his cheeks. He pulls you closer, his hand resting protectively around your shoulders as he grins.

“Hey now,” he says, his voice low and sincere. “This one’s special. Ain’t like any other. My lucky charm.”

You feel your heart skip a beat at his words, and you’re so focused on him that you barely notice Coco and the others making gagging noises before Ben reaches out, ending the call on your phone with a smirk. Then he turns back to you, his eyes soft, filled with something that feels dangerously like forever.

He leans in, his lips finding yours in a kiss that’s slow and tender, each second lingering with quiet promises. And in the warmth of his arms, your heart finally feels at home, exactly where it belongs.

[fictionkinfessions]

heya the #boomingpizzapie jax here (btw ty for tagging it ik the ask is not out yet at this time for writing it but tyyy) this is going to be scattered but idgaf!! anyways. i think its fucking funny in the circus i cannot curse but now since im in a new body and stuff i can curse how ever tf i want. this is actually a first for me to kin someone who is mostly kinned in the fandom. (im seeing alot of other me's...im going to bonk yall with a mallet/silly) (im not gonna do that lmao but we should cause chaos later) going to be honest im scared to search myself up bc like..ik there is already that type of art bc im sortaaaa the fan favorite (i think- either that or the 2nd) and..when your the fan favorite there is going to be awful things made. any kins out there (doesnt actually have to be the amazing digital circus kin) who naturally pose like their source and notice it and freaks out about it. bc i did lmao the hand on the hip thing i do all the time rn and its funny i did that in canon too its..odd that i was the youngest in the circus (creator listed our ages i am the youngest at the time of this ask) bc tbh i thought gangle was going to be the youngest and zooble would be the oldest. i mean it makes sense kinger is the oldest but my brain was going way off lol. random other thing but like. i oddly cannot type like i sound like in my source. most of my sources im a jackass but i act nice in front of people/mental health issues are a bitch im destroying my issues with a mallet anyways to any the amazing digital circus kins..hey yall its weird (at least to me) that our bodys are now...yk normal human stuff..its odd lmao. anyways i miss yall losers i hope yall doing well. remember to take care of yourselfs. to any pomnis i hope yall are doing alright. i know im a jackass but like..im hoping your ok. to dollface i also hope ur doing well. hope ur not mad at the centipede thing. sorry bout that to other jax's.. we need to make a club so we can prank others or mess with others i think it be fun. to gangle..you get a big hug from me. i know you probably dont wanna hang. or anything but like..just wanna apologize for the shit i did to ya. just know i dont hate ya and im deeply sorry/gen kinger. ill admit it. even tho in canon you..lost ya mind pretty much..your a cool guy. ill admit it. i hope ur doing well as well. to everyone else (im too lazy to write everyone else) i hope yall doing ok too yall are neat in yall silly way. (even non canons <D <- thats a smiley face btw) -Jax from the digital circus (#boomingpizzapie) (dear god i wrote alot.)

🐸

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

Okay i promise this is my last fathers day post for slade but i wanted to update my meme

[bl00doodle]

Twitter doodles

[violetnotez]

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(Requested) Hawks x reader

@chxcolxtemilk: Can I get an imagine with Hawks where the reader is his gf, and she got a BODY. She’s hourglass, slim thicc. Anyways. So during that intern arc where Bakugou and todoroki are like interning with Endeveour and it’s like a meeting and the work students are there and they all think reader fine af, but like mineta takes it overboard and hawks gets protective. Especially since readers hero costume shows off her curves please! Have a nice day ❤️

I read “slim thick” reader and my eyes went 👀👀👀-also sorry if this is a little wonky in the canon timeline cause my brain can’t function 😂😂

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⤷Word Count: 1200+ (?-Im just guessing here sidfnsdifiw)

⤷Warnings: Pervy Mineta, cursing, the usallllll

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Hawks stood in the back of the room, his arms crossed around his lean yet sturdy body, a smirk gracing his lips as he watched you speak with a loud welcoming voice to the newbies.

Hero schools across the nation were starting up their students for internships with hero agencies, and UA was no different. Countless teachers from that high school were shuffling their kids into agencies, and it was one of your duties to greet the students that were about to enter their internships for the other pros. It saved alot of time when one hero told the kids the do’s and don’ts of their internship, so you had sorta graciously took the role (you had lost a match of Rock Paper Scissors to Hawks and you were fuming).

Only you could make public speaking interesting to him-especially when you were in your hero suit (even if it sounded pretty perverted).

He couldnt help himself from letting his eyes wander around your frame- you were dating after all, it wasnt like you wouldnt want him to...but damn was that hero suit a blessing to his eyes. Whoever designed it, he wished he could perosnally thank them for making it so perfectly sexy on your frame.

 Your quirk relied on you to show a little more skin, as you needed to physically touch things in order to activate it. Which made it the perfect for Hawks (and others) to gawk at your curvacious figure- deep swoops on your chest, high cuts against your leg that showed off your hips, an expanse of the soft skin of your thigh….it was absolutely tantalizing to him and left his whole body throbbing every time he saw you in your suit.

Hawks felt his heart thump in his chest from the back of the room as he watched you bend down, apparently having dropped a piece of paper on the floor.

How you bent down gave the best view of your chest-the mounds pushed up so delciosuly he licked his lips from the sight- and then the nervous, innocent laugh you gave as you fiddled with your hair- god, you really just the most beautiful little birdie, werent you?

Hawks loveisck grin quickly melted away when he heard a slow whistle come from the seat in fornt of him- apparently somebody else found his little chickadee pretty too…

Immeidately Hawks felt his the feathers on his back ruffle- he usually wasnt protective at all, as long as  everyone knew that you were his and his only.

But oh, the moment he got a whiff of someone trying to flirt or be smitten with you-he immeidately did a 180, becoming fussy and dominant as he shielded you or sent the person a death glare behind a strained smile. 

“...could you imagine snuggling into her boobs? They must be so soft….” he heard a nasally, boyish voice whisper to his friend next to him, a few seats to his right.

Well-that was pretty fucking creepy.

Hawk’s head swiveled around, trying to find the voice. He was trying his best to not let his emotions do something rash-he didnt want to throw you off your task by doing something stupid. He was pretty known for his outgoing and filter-less peronality, so it was taking everything in him to just be calm for once, for your sake. Hawks quietly began to walk behind the seats of the kids, trying to find the owner of the voice.

“Ohhhh I would do anything for her if I could call her Mommy just once-”

The hell was this kid?! And how old was he to be making such nasty ass comments??

Hawks felt his cheeks flush, his eyes darting around, finaly landing on a student who seemed to be whispering to his friend with electric yellow hair.

He recognizied the kid with the bright hair- you had taken him on as a intern, his name was… Kalimari? Kanimari? 

He didnt quite remmeber, and frankly didnt really care that much as his eyes were trained on the kid next to him- he was so short, only his hair was visible from the seat- if you could it hair. Three balls of messy purple spheres were planted on his head as he leaned into the boy next to him.

“Hey Kaminari you think you wanna switch interns? Ill do anything, anything to just be next to her…”

“No way man!” the kid “Kaminari” whisiper yelled at him, “I landed a total babe as a intern, Im not loosing that-”

Hawks blinked a few times in complete shock- now this kid too! He knew you were a hit with the men (because hell he was a total fanboy before meeting you just because of how hot you were), but god he didnt realize you were popular with the teens too! It made sense, boys were pretty, well- interested- in women alot more at this age, but still- it bothered him how possessive he was getting because of these boys.

“Ahh please Denki!”

“Nah Mineta youre crazy!”

So his name was Mineta...Hawks leaned against the wall, his hands fidgeting as he tried to stay calm.

He might be petty enough to give a small call to his intern and see how he can make his life a little hellish….

Hawks drew his gaze back to you, hoping that maybe watching you speak will calm him down...but the kid wouldnt let up.

The whole time you were talking “Mineta” made every comment in the book, wondering “if you liked short guys”, “how big your butt was”, even asking if you had modeled lingerie….Hawks was pratically mortified for you.

Were all guys liked this? Cause god, if it was, he was going to have a problem...he felt his chest fluff out in dominance, his feathers pratically vibrating from agitation because of how possessive he was feeling and he couldnt do a single thing.

He watched you looked around the crowd, a soft radiant smile on your lips.

“Does anyone have any questions?” you asked as you peered up at the students.

Mineta instantly raised his hand, Hawks stomach churning with dread.

Unaware of the situation Hawks had just witnessed, you gave to boy a bright grin. 

“Yes?” you asked goodnaturedly.

Mineta sniffled, his voice nasally and somewhat desperate sounding. 

“Yeah I had a question- um, how big are you boo-”

Haha, nope.

Hawks instantly sent a bunch of feathers zooming towards Mineta, each one ramming into his open mouth. The force took over his frail body, the sight almost comical as his eyes grew wide with fear as he began to lean back, his pudgy hands flailing.

Hawks felt a small part of him inflate with dirty pride from his little trick, a lazy grin gracing his lips as everyone in the room turned around to watch him with complete shock.

“Sorry about that kiddos, had to just demonstrate somehting for you guys real quick...” Hawks looked down at you, your face blushing yet riddled with conufsion. He sent you a small smile, giving you a quick wink- “Ill tell you later” was written on his face as he turned his attention back to the students in fornt of him. 

“...when you intern with your heroes, show them some respect...cause words get around when you talk out of place-”

The Mineta kid turned around, sputtered coughs dribbling out of his mouth as he picked fluffs of feather off his tongue. His eyes widened as he turned around and realized what was going on, the #2 hero giving him the deadliest glare imaginable. 

Hawks could almost feel sympathy for the kid-almost. He must have realized who had shut him, after all, you two were dating (and Hawks had made sure that everyone knew that).

Hawks sauntered over, a dark grin wrapping against his complexion as he kneeled down to get to the kids level.

“I’d watch what you say, kid- my feathers can get sharper when I want them to,” 

A gulp could be heard from Mineta, his skin paling as the #2 hero, the one dating the pretty herione in front of him, had pretty much threatened him.

Yeah, he stayed quiet after that.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Taggings:

Everything Taglist (All Fics, All Characters):

@bunnythepipsqueak​ @pasteldaze​  @ionlyspeakinmyheroacademia​     @notadrian​  @hithoeshi​ @sizzlingbarbarianglitter​ @sunnie-nugget​ @shoutosteakettle​ @we-mentally-unstable​ @sm0kingcrack​ @wesparklebitch @kac-chowsballs

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Buy Me A Kofi| Masterlist

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 2

▪️part 1

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hiii💓 enjoy part 2! im excited for the next part, it’s gonna get interesting ;)) as always, requests/asks are open and so is the taglist! just ask and ill add you :) enjoy xx

•

Two: clean up good

You had made it through your first week at your new place. It was easy to make yourself feel at home with your friends around. It was a lazy Saturday morning. You and Kuroo were making breakfast while Bokuto was at the gym and Oikawa was still asleep after a 7 hour facetime call with Iwaizumi the night before. You pranced around the small kitchen gathering stuff for breakfast as Kuroo washed the dishes.

“Did we ever end up buying orange juice?” you asked.

“Yeah it should be in the back of the fridge,” he explained. You headed over to the fridge and grabbed the juice. Kuroo went over to set the table and you tried not to get distracted by him. His perfect bedhead and raspy morning voice took your breath away.

“What?” he asked, noticing you staring. You jumped.

“Uh the tag of your pants is showing,” you said, which was true. Kuroo spun around himself as if to try and see the tag and you just laughed. Kuroo tucked the tag back in his pants.

“Geez Y/N, why are you looking at my ass?” he joked. Your face got hot.

“I was making sure Oikawa didn’t steal it,”

“What did I steal?” said a sleepy Oikawa, who just woke up. Kuroo covered his mouth in an attempt to not laugh.

“Oh nothing. Breakfast’s ready,” you smiled. Kuroo and Oikawa went to sit down and you handed them their plates of food.

“Did Bokuto say when he would be back?” you asked. Kuroo shrugged.

“Not sure, he said-”

“HEY HEY HEY!” The door slammed open to reveal a sweaty Bokuto holding his volleyball bag.

“Perfect timing Bo,” you smiled. Bokuto set down his bag and went to join all of you at the table. You began to eat your breakfast.

“Guys I have the greatest idea,” bursted out Oikawa. Kuroo looked at him with wide eyes and a mouth full of food.

“And what might that be?” Kuroo muffled out. Oikawa stood up from his seat and cleared his voice.

“We should have a party!” Oikawa exclaimed. You looked at Kuroo and Bokuto, then back at Oikawa.

“A party?” Kuroo questioned.

“Yes, a party. Ever been to one Kuroo?” Teased Oikawa.

“Hey I’ve been to a party!”

“A study group with drinking doesn’t count dumbass,” Oikawa huffed, “anyway we should have a little party. Nothing too crazy. Just an excuse to get some people over here and to dress up.”

“Oikawa I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I have 3 friends and they are all in this room,” you said. Kuroo laughed.

“You are so lame,” joked Kuroo. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m down to have a party,” chimed in Bokuto.

“Thank you Bokuto! Come on guys, we can dress up and invite some people and have a little fun. It can be like a house-warming party,” said Oikawa.

“I mean it doesn’t sound too bad. When would we have it?” You asked.

“Tonight!” exclaimed Oikawa.

“Tonight? Isn’t that a little short notice?”

“Let’s be honest. None of you had plans anyway so we might as well do it today. And I already told Iwachan that the party’s today,” smiled Oikawa.

“Okay so what’s the plan?” asked Bokuto, becoming instantly excited.

“I’m taking Y/N shopping with me for outfits for everyone. Kuroo you clean and Bokuto you are on food duty. I’ll make some calls and you guys invite whoever else you want,” explained Oikawa.

“Why do you get to pick what we wear?” questioned Kuroo.

“Because I know damn well that if I let anyone of you pick your outfits the three of you would each end up wearing sweatpants and that is not how I would like people to see my new apartment.”

“Shittykawa you do know we live here too right?”

“Precisely why I won't have you looking like idiots. Okay party is at 7 tonight so get a move on! BREAK!” Oikawa clapped and left the table. You looked at Kuroo and Bokuto.

“Well I guess I’ll see you two later. Have fun cleaning,” you smiled.

“Of course he gives me that worst job,” pouts Kuroo.

“Hey, at least that means you get to read the labels on the cleaning supplies and judge them,” joked Bokuto. Kuroo gave Bokuto a playful push before getting up from the table too.

After you finished eating, you took a bath and got dressed to go shopping with Oikawa. Just to annoy him, you wore a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

“Toru, are you ready?” You shouted. Oikawa came into your room, nicely dressed of course, holding Kuroo’s car keys.

“Let’s go before he notices,” he whispers. You laughed and started heading towards the front door.

“OIKAWA!”

“GO GO!” You and Oikawa ran so fast out of the apartment you almost tripped over yourselves. You hopped in the elevator.

“Kuroo is gonna kill you one of these days,” you said. Oikawa chuckled.

“Not if I get him first.”

~

You and Oikawa drove until reaching the store that Oikawa wanted to shop at. You went inside and began looking around.

“What are you buying for Kuroo and Bokuto?” You asked. Oikawa hummed to himself as he looked at the array of dress shirts before him.

“I really want to force Bokuto to wear a nice lavender button down with some grey pants. And as for Kuroo...I’ll see what you pick out first,” he explained. You sighed and went to look at the dresses.

None of the dresses really caught your attention. A lot of them looked too plain for you or Oikawa’s liking. As much as you hated to admit it, as you looked through the dresses you couldn’t help but think about what Kuroo might like. He probably couldn’t care less about what you wore but the thought of him noticing you made your heart flutter.

“Y/N!” called Oikawa. You turned around to see Oikawa holding a beautiful dress. It was made out of a shiny, almost silk-like material with thin straps. It was a gorgeous shade of red and had black lace along the v-neckline.

“You have to get this one,” said Oikawa. You took the dress from his hands and took a closer look. It really was a beautiful dress.

“Do you think it’s too much?” You asked.

“Of course not. You would look amazing in it. And it’s red...you know who likes red?” he teased. You smiled, knowing how Kuroo always complimented you when you wore red.

“I don’t know...do you think he’ll like it?”

“I know that the second he sees you in that he will confess his undying love for you.”

“Oikawa, I doubt he likes me.”

“Maybe seeing you in this dress will change his mind. Come on just get it!” You looked down at the dress.

“I’ll get it, but only because I like it,” you said. Oikawa nodded.

You bought the dress and Oikawa bought some stuff for Kuroo and Bokuto. The two of you headed back to your apartment. As you walked down the hall leading towards your door, you could smell smoke and hear yelling. You looked at Oikawa and shrugged as you opened the door.

“YOU BURNT IT?” Shouted Kuroo.

“I DIDN'T MEAN TO!” Pleaded Bokuto.

“Alright children what happened?” You asked. Kuroo and Bokuto stood in the kitchen looking at each other.

“Well you see Y/N, I was making the rice and then I decided to go to the bathroom and then I decided to sit on the couch and before I knew it I was asleep. And then I was very RUDELY woken up by Kuroo,” explained Bokuto.

“The rice is incredibly over cooked by the way,” said Kuroo.

“Thanks for the clarification,” you joked, “it��s fine Bokuto, I can remake the rice.”

“Thank you Y/N!” Bokuto picked you up for a tight bear hug.

“Well while Y/N redoes the rice, you boys can go get dressed,” Oikawa handed Kuroo and Bokuto their bags of clothes.

“I swear if you bought me-“ began Kuroo.

“Have faith my dear friend. You will look almost as good as me tonight,” smiled Oikawa. Kuroo rolled his eyes and took the bag. Kuroo and Bokuto headed towards their room to get changed. Oikawa did the same and you went to fix the rice catastrophe.

~

After you made the rice, you cleaned up around the kitchen. You washed your hands and checked the time. It was getting close to 7, so you rushed over to your room to change.

“Oikawa I'm coming in,” you said before opening the door. Oikawa was finishing buttoning up his shirt. He wore a light blue button up shirt and dress pants. He looked amazing as always.

“Do these pants make my ass look good?” He asked. You looked at the pants, seeing no significant difference in his butt.

“Absolutely. You have such a dump truck back there,” You laughed.

“I hate you,” Oikawa gave you a playful nudge before leaving your room. You took the dress out of the bag and laid it on your bed. It really was a beautiful dress.

You changed into the dress and stood in front of your mirror. The dress fit you perfectly, hugging you in all the right places. You put on a simple silver necklace and did a light face of makeup. You thought you looked beautiful. You felt beautiful.

You took a deep breath and opened your bedroom door to meet your friends. You didn’t dress up often. After all, your best friends are a bunch of guys. So if they didn’t feel the need to dress up, neither did you.

You walked out the door and Bokuto, Kuroo, and Oikawa stood in the living room, hyping each other up. Bokuto was very pleased with his lavender shirt and he looked great. No surprise that Kuroo took your breath away. He wore a neatly pressed navy shirt and dark grey dress pants.

“Hi boys,” you smiled. They turned to look at you. Each of their jaws dropping one by one.

“Damn sexy, who are you trying to impress tonight?” cheered Bokuto. You covered your face out of embarrassment.

“No one...” you whispered.

“I knew that dress would look perfect on you!” said Oikawa, giving himself all the credit.

“Wow…” Kuroo’s voice trailed off. You two locked eyes for a split second.

“We clean up good,” you smiled. Oikawa grabbed your hand and pulled you into a group hug with Kuroo and Bokuto. You held your friends tightly before breaking away. You turned to look at the front door, hearing someone knocking.

“Alright idiots, let’s get this party started.”

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @nerdybreadcollaborative @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes ]

[thewritingstar]

Falling Back to You

Pairing: Blossick (Blossom x Brick, Reds)

Fandom: The Powerpuff Girls

Soft, sweet reds because I've been feeling angsty lately and needed a breather lol. Sorry to everyone who follows me for other fandoms, I promise Ill write more for FT (you can always leave asks lol)

Tag List: @over-under-through1 @shellielyzabeth (if you want to be on my tag list, you can find the post or dm me)

I hope you enjoy. This has been sitting in my drafts for a few months and decided to just finish it lol. 

---

“I’m surprised you don’t have your hat on.” A voice came from behind him. But not just any voice. The moment the first word left those lips, the hair on his neck stood up and sent a familiar chill down his back. It was a voice that he knew well, could distinguish in a crowd of a thousand voices, it was the equivalent of his favorite song or the taste of the sweetest thing to melt in your mouth.

“Blossom.” He said under his breath but her super hearing picked it up.

She thought she was prepared to see him, after all its been two years. That’s enough time to heal, right? But she prayed that he didn’t hear the small gasp that escaped her lips as he turned. That crisp dark red suit fit him like a glove and she spotted him from a mile away in that signature color. He looked good in red.

“Hi.” She managed to say smoothly as he took a step towards her. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked with a reluctant tone. It was only the most important night of his life. The one where he would be promoted to the head of the department, the one he busted his ass off from the ground up. Not to mention an award for a case he worked on last year. 

She shrugged and bit her lip. “My boss is here and I have to write a report for him.” Then added. “And I wasn’t going to miss the achievement you have been talking about for literal years.” She said shyly. “I promised after all.” 

And she did. Back when they had dated all those years ago. Blossom was by his side as he worked from being an assistant at the law firm to one of the most promising lawyers, and now the highest ranked lawyer, but she missed the last part. Unfortunately. 

He studied his ass off and she did too, both of them determined to outshine anyone in their paths, maybe that why they chose different companies. They had traded their childhood rivalry for a path of lust and love, a simple competition would not be throwing them down that path. In fact their jobs were the reason they weren’t together.

“You remembered.” He said under his breath. She heard it, of course. 

She tapped her foot and looked around before giving a puzzling look. “Wheres Jasmine?” It pained her to ask. 

Jasmine. Oh yes, his girlfriend who couldn’t be bothered to celebrate to most important time of his career. Or rather, ex girlfriend, As of last night where he found her with another man. 

“Not my girlfriend.” He simply stated as she nodded before taking a sip of her drink. 

It must have been good if she brought it to her lips. Blossom loved a good cocktail but if it was hard liquor, she required top shelf, something he admired. He was like that too and was the reason she only drank the highest quality. 

“What about Tyson?” 

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Not my boyfriend.” She said bitterly and he didn’t know why he was happy about it. “Cheated on me for a blonde.” Her glass was on the verge of cracking before she smoothed out her dress. “Typical.” 

He hummed in agreement. There was a feeling of anger running through him as he thought about any man hurting Blossom, sure he hurt her too but nothing like that. No their fight was different, it was a fight about whats best for both of them. 

They had just under an hour before the cermony started. He didn’t want to bother being inside socailzing with a bunch of random people and he had a feeling she didn’t either. The wide open hallway was becoming stuffy and he could see a trio of men walking their way and knew Blossom would become the talking point. 

Before Brick could turn them the other way, the men were already there. 

“Brick.” The tall one spat. 

“Landon.” Brick matched his tone. What a dumb name he thought. 

Landon turned and did not bother to hide the fact that he was checking out Blossom. Of course he was. Even in her simple black cocktail dress that screamed sophistication, she was a walking dream. 

“And you are?” He gave her a smirk that could charm anyone, expcet for Blossom of course. 

Brick was pracitcally smiling as Blossom shook his hand. He knew she wouldn’t take his bait. 

“Blossom Utonium. Head of corrupt affairs at Duchess Law.” She started with what Brick likes to call her “Miss Business voice”. 

Landon smirked. “Duchess Law? Someones a smart cookie.” He winked. 

The other men behind him agreed and Blossom held her tounge. She hated being patronized or looked down on. He should be thanking the lucky stars that he’s even in her presence.

Brick could tell she was annoyed and wrapped his arm around her waist before looking at Landon. “She makes more money than all three of you combine and actally can win a case so show some repect.” He spat and he turned them around towards the back doors that led to the garden space. 

The feeling of having his arm around her sent a spark through her body. At first it felt foreign but the memories came rolling in waves as they walked.

“I could handle myself.” She stated and he hid his laugh.

“I know, but you won’t because of your repuation. I for one don’t care about mine that much.”

“Or maybe its because you still care.” She teased as she sat on the stone bench with him. 

He was about to response but his phone began to ring. He wanted to ignore it but Blossom probably would say something about it. 

“Its Butch.” He said before trying to put it back into his pocket. 

“You should anwser it. I’m sure he’s wanting to wish his brother well.”

He huffed and anwsered on the final ring. 

“Hello?”

“Hey quick question. Do you think that I would win in a fight against Thanos?” 

Brick only shook his head.

“Butch.”

“Its serious cause Buttercup doesn’t think so but I could take him for sure.” 

Blossom was holding a hand to her mouth as the guy kept going on about the stupid question. 

“Oh shit dude, tonights your night!”

“Yes it is now Imma hang up now.”

“Brick be nice.”

“Wait a minute bro. Is that Miss Blossom with you?”

“Yes because shes the only one who bothered to care.”

“Hey you’re the one who said not to come. Anyways tell her I said hi and that you two should totally get back together because you kept going on and on about how you missed her and leaving her was the worst choice you made-” The line cut dead and the phone was shoved in his pocket. 

“Hes stupid.” He mumbled and Blossom drank the rest of her drink. 

“Hes not wrong.”

He turned towards her and gazed silently. She was just as he remembered. Gorgeous and graceful and even without a word spoken, she could command a room. He admired her greatly and she felt the same. 

“Brick, can we just skip all of it?” She asked softly. 

“I’ve kinda been looking forward to my award.”

“No, not this.” She gestured to the building. “But this.” She pointed between them. 

“Skip what?”

“Oh I don’t know, the drama of it all? Because if we don’t confess now we are going to waste so much time running after each other and I-I dont want to waste time.” She looked down at her shoes. A sad sigh leaving her lips. “I just miss you.” 

The confession surprised him. They were both forward people who never beat around the bush but when it came to their feelings between them, they had always been shy. Boomer and Bubbles were easy to confess and even Butch and Buttercup seemed to have it together but for them, it felt impossible sometimes.

No matter where he turned, she was there. They had always crossed paths like star-crossed lovers and it was as if the universe was constantly pulling them together and they had tried. They really did. 

Perhaps the timing wasn’t enough or their pride had stood in the way. they never meant to fall apart the way they did but when the other side of the bed was empty, those walls they held up became transparent and it only took a mere few seconds to see what they had lost. 

But he understood what she meant. They both knew that if anything were to happen between them tonight it would start a snowball effect that everyone was tired of seeing. Over and over they would fall in line and build each other up before something came between them and pulled them apart. 

He wanted to get past all the hurdles of playing cat and mouse until on of them caved and said their feelings. But her saying she missed him wasn’t her caving, she was just tired and so was he.

They had been young when they had fallen in love. The rules of life tossing them into a sea of doubt but now they were adults who knew the game and could easily avoid anything in their paths, except each other. 

His hand slid over hers. “I missed you too.”

She smiled softly before her hand rested on his cheek. “I’m really proud of you Brick, you’ve come along way.” 

“I’m just happy you got to see it.” He whispered before his lips touched hers with a fire they both had missed. 

A swirl of fire and ice that only they knew. No matter how much life decided to pull them apart or change the course, he would always find himself coming back to her. 

The kiss didn’t last as long as he would have liked but seeing the faint blush on her cheeks made it all worth it. 

“What are you doing later?” He asked as he helped her up from the bench. 

“I was going to get take out and sit in my hotel room watching movies.” 

Brick leaned over to fix the bow in her hair, taking the time to have her close. “I don’t suppose you would accept any company?” He winked before kissing the back of her hand and handing her the red purse.

“I think I can make an exception.” She winked and he had never thought she had looked more stunning. 

She took his hand, their palms resting naturally together, before walking back to the ceremony, where he would leave with not only his award but the woman he had loved for years and years. 

--

was the ending lazy? yes. do I care, only a little bit. Lol. I’ve had a really off day so I hope this is good.

Hope you enjoyed :) 

[ddaengyoonmin]

Faerie Realm 13.5

Pairing: Ot7xReader; currently mainly Jungkook x reader with past Jimin x reader and future other members. ;)

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(In previous and later chapters)

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings; Drunken bar argument with threats and mentions of killing. 

Word count: 1.2k

Taglist: (I definitely think I missed some of you and some usernames were changed from my last list😭  so im sorry if this is all wrong lol.  I am doing away with taglists for the most part but ill keep on for faerie realm if anyone wanted to be tagged let me know) : @taekookandyoongi @life-anime-food @i-like-puppy-mg @seesawsmin-flower @karissassirak @btsvisuals @vynia

A/N: Okay it's been months but Faerie Realm is back y'all! So let me explain myself.  Faerie Realm is my baby, and this series is FAR from done.  But, I got stumped, really bad lol  The way I ended the last chapter I honestly didn’t have a plan on where to go to transition to what I wanted to happen next, and I didn’t totally know what to do for the boss fight scene.  So, I hope we aren’t mad about this but there is a time jump happening.  

This chapter is called 13.5 because I wanted to have an explanation of what went on in our characters lives during the months that pass between chapter 13 and 14. 

Thank you to those who still send asks about Faerie Realm, and to the new readers who I see binging through the series in my notifications.  I love you all and appreciate you patiently waiting for this update of my ridiculous fic I love so much. 

The boss battle had gone smoothly, without a hitch.  Yoongi and Namjoon’s fire attacks were extra effective against the type of creature that was in the cave, and many other groups had joined in to take it down. 

You and Hoseok were thanked and rewarded by quite a few of the other groups for your healing you’d done for their team during the attack.  Though you insisted you didn’t need to be compensated you both wound up with quite a lot more gold in your inventory than you’d started with. 

You didn’t feel like you needed to be rewarded though.  You did heal quite a few people from other teams,but there were quite a few times where you knew you could’ve been healing another team’s member, yet, you were too scared to take both your hands away from Jungkook.  Memories of the attack in the woods where you’d almost lost him running through your mind. 

After defeating the boss, a giant glowing blue portal with white flecks swirling around in circles like dye dropped into water appeared.  It sat in the back of the cave where the boss had spawned.  

The first team to go through wasn’t your own.  Jungkook had held your team back, skeptical of the newly spawned portal, saying it wouldn’t hurt to let someone else test it out first. 

Almost instantly the guinea pig team as you’d all called them, a group of all Fire Fairies, returned back the way they came.  They gave it the all clear, and upon realizing this really was the portal to level 2 the surviving players of Faerie Realm started to pour in to the next floor. 

There were those players who chose to stay back in the starting village, not many but a few.  It was mostly those who had been too scared to leave it in the first place.  

A lot of people made fun of them and many whispers and harsh words were passed around by the other players. 

“Why should we be out here risking our lives for players that aren’t going to even help.”

“You know this game has limited resources right? Certain things don’t respawn and yet here we are sending food back to the main town.” 

That sentiment tied in to an even darker one floating around the groups. 

“We should just kill the players not helping out.  All they are doing is being lazy, and taking resources we need to live.” 

Upon hearing that spoken in a bar on floor two Jungkook had stood up on his table, well drunk, but speaking clearly. 

“Say that again.” He growled, now looking down at the group of Sylphs that had been drunkenly muttering those words far too loud. 

The tallest of the men turned around to Jungkook, staring up at him unphased. 

“I said, we should get rid of all the leeches in Main Town, who sit around on their ass all day while *we* get our ass’s kicked down into the red to get us all out of here.” 

Jungkook paused for a moment. 

“You think that they wouldn’t help if they could?” He asked, “You don’t think that they wish they were out here helping.  Some of those people back there have never played an MMO in their life let alone even picked up a video game, and you expect them to be out here doing what you’re doing?” Jungkook hissed. 

“Ah bullshit, we all know your girl started out as a first time player, word gets around.  I don’t see any excuses for them not just putting in the effort like she did.” The green haired man rolled his eyes. 

Jungkook now jumped down from the table, you had gasped for a second thinking in his drunkenness he’d fall but he landed smoothly in front of the man, their chests now almost touching. 

“You think just cuz one exception happens that means anyone can just do it huh? That everyone has the resources and opportunities and people to coach them through the game? 90% of those people back in Main would die the instant they stepped foot out of the safe zone.  Those are people’s families.  People’s moms who decided to pick up the game to try out before giving it to their kid for their birthday.  So fuck you.  I’ll fight to get them out of this game.  I’ll fight to get us all out of this game.  If you’re just doing this for yourself you might as well just fly into a dragon's mouth and get fucked…” 

“Ohhhh kay.” Taehyung was now pulling Jungkook away from the fuming sylph who was now turning beet red and pursing his lips together so tightly you thought he’d pull a muscle. 

You were proud of Jungkook though, his attitude had greatly changed from when this all had first gone down.  He’d gotten less selfish, more caring, he was a hero in this game. 

You on the other hand found yourself turning opposite.  The longer you stayed in this game, the more you cared just about you and your team getting out of this alive than anything else. 

It wasn’t easy knowing how to feel.  You certainly wouldn’t go around talking about killing the townspeople of main though.  Some people in this game were just vile, not far off from the real world. 

--------------------------

In the months after the boss battle that led your team to floor two, you’d grown close with all of the boys.  Your newest additions Yoongi and Hoseok had stuck around the whole time and there was no doubt this was your permanent group. 

You and Hoseok had especially grown close, being that the two of you shared the rare trait of being a water fairy you’d often get grouped together when doing raids so that you could use a series of double team healing spell moves that you’d come up with together. 

He was honestly becoming your best friend. 

Things with Jungkook had stayed the same, you loved him, and he loved you. 

Jimin and you still kept each other at an awkward distance, but the months spent every day together had certainly healed much of the strain between the two of you.  

Though Jungkook never quite fully got on board with being fond of Jimin, he was kinder to him and things had been civil. 

Namjoon and Yoongi became quick friends over similar reasons to you and Hoseok, a shared set of skills made for some great bonding moments. 

Jin you’d gotten to know better, realizing there was an extremely funny and entertaining man under the fear that he’d had for so long was one of the highlights of your time here.  

Growing closer to all of them was such an odd gift you’d gotten through this life or death game.  

----------

--(Snippet from chapter 14 :D) 

“Y/n?” Taehyung called out from behind the almost unreal blue veil of water separating the two of you. 

“I’m still here…” You spoke quietly.  Not quite sure how to respond to his confession. “I just don't know what to say.  Jungkook is…” 

“I know.” He cut you off.  

You couldn’t see him well, you wanted to just push through the water and run over to him, shake him, ask him why the hell he thought it was okay to say this to you now. 

“I just thought you should know.”

[winnerloser]

idk who needed to hear this today but 

if you use fanart for anything, you give credit for it.

usually i would just implore you guys to at your own discretion but. 

i think sometimes people forget that if you use fanart without explicitly asking for the author’s permission, that's stealing. but obviously no one has ill intent behind it with this hobby, which is why crediting is important. it’s the least you can do.

it doesnt matter how much you use the fanart. even if it only appears on your blog once. even if it’s just a throwaway icon for a gag. even if you replace the icon with new icons from somewhere else. if it was on your blog at some point, and you don’t intend on deleting it, and it’s still on there, you give credit for it.

there’s maybe some leeway if you commissioned the art and/or the artist already cosigned you to using it without giving permission. but that’s the only special instance i can think of.

in that same vein, please just look on artist’s profiles to see if they allow reposting in the first place. if their account says no reproduction/no reposting/DONT USE MY ART.... don’t use it. if the bio is in japanese, chinese, korean, whatever- google translate it. i know google translate can suck but it’ll easily convey what you need to be looking for. 

if you’re one to think that you don’t want to use source media like screenshots or mangacaps because fanart is prettier, don’t ignore the fact that the people providing you the luxury to do so are just that- people, who spent hours to draw what could amount to just one or two icons. who could’ve drawn what you were using as a commission for someone else. who more than likely posted the image without any idea what you’re using it for-- more importantly;

without any idea what you’re using the image to represent, what messages you’re trying to convey- with their image. the fact that the subject is a copyrighted character/isn’t theirs doesn’t change the fact that the drawing in and of itself is still their creation.

it would behoove you to start keeping tabs of the sources you intend to pull from. if you see a piece from pixiv you think you’ll consider pulling from- pluck it, save it, so later when you open photoshop you’re not sitting with the pulled image thats titled computer jibberish with no artist’s signature.

YOU KNOW WHAT? i’ll go you one even better than that.

When you save an image from pixiv - this one for example, by default it’ll save it as 78827921_p0_master1200.jpg.  78827921 is the image ID. https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/78827921 will take you back to that image. Plug in any other ID, and it’ll go back to its source. There you go. Easy if you accidentally forgot to keep tabs.

nobody is entitled to the usage of another person’s art, and if you use the excuse that [just by virtue of OP posting it on the internet, it’s free gain], that’s bullshit.

if you post anything- even a text post or roleplay thread- going by that same logic, anyone should be allowed to reblog it, remix it, go to town on it; it’s on the open internet, after all... right? No. you’re entitled to security in the things you post. you don’t really need to say “don’t/ask to reblog” in the tags for people to get the hint to not or ask first if they feel inclined to. if you believe you’re entitled to that comfort and respect, i don’t see why that mindset can’t be translated to fit the situation of artists. even if you don’t give a shit how your stuff gets circulated, at least try to look at it in the way that not everyone is you.

and not everyone is me, so some may be wondering still why they can’t just go ahead and do what they want so long as they’re not hurting people/keeping it lowkey. i mean, at the end of the day, there’s nothing i can do about it either. you can totally do whatever you want, im not denying that. but just know that you’re not 100% in the clear from getting discovered by somebody. you’re not impervious to being found. and reposting/art being used or transformed without credit or consent is a very real reason that artists get upset or even sometimes lock their profiles, delete, or stop drawing/posting, or stop making their art publically available. this is NOT just a western philosophy. asian artists do this just as well- hell, you could even say that some are even more stringent about etiquette when it comes to treating their works with respect. that includes reposting policies.

if you’re too tired/busy/lazy/forgetful/cursed to credit, that’s 100% not an excuse lol. or if you’re thinking, crap, i have all these nicely done assets that i’ve created but it’ll be too difficult to go back and retroactively find the sources!

idk what to tell u but tough titties bro thats a you problem*

uh, so to end this:

再版ポリシーが破られている場合は、お知らせください。すぐに画像を削除します。このブログから利益を得ることも、失礼することも意図していません。再版は許可されているが、クレジットがない場合は、お知らせください。修正いたします。ありがとうございます、失礼します。

如果违反了您的转载政策，请告知我们。我会立即删除图像。它无意从此博客中受益或无礼。如果允许转载，但信用不正确，请告知我们。我会马上改正的。谢谢，不好意思。祝好

this is in my credit’s page at the bottom. i can’t vouch for the japanese, but i can say with more certainty that the chinese is legible. if someone is better at japanese and has any adjustments they’d recommend, please do so! it’s just saying that i don’t intend to cause harm or disrespect by borrowing the artwork, and that at any of the artists’ discretion, whether i’m violating their repost policy or not, they are urged to reach out to me and tell me to remove their art if they don’t want it on my blog. feel free to snatch it and use it for your credits page, or write something similar in lieu of that. i’m 100% in support of that.

please be conscious and considerate of the people who work hard and do a good deal of the heavy lifting for you to be able to make your blog pretty and aesthetic in the first place. i think the bounty of beautiful and high-quality art for the pokemon fandom- or for any popular fandom for that matter- sometimes makes us forget that it isn’t a commodity. it’s something that when taken for granted, can genuinely affect others who work hard to provide content for people to enjoy. at the end of the day, they do this to make themselves and others happy. seeing others take that work without any acknowledgement to them is demoralizing, don’t think that they’ll get enough recognition from others to compensate for you. that’s frankly not how posting art on social media works at all.

i mean, even if this doesn’t convince you, i can only hope it’ll spur you to be more conscious in the future. 

*i get that things happen and this isn’t meant to shame you if you happen to be one to do any of the things other than credit. but know that you don’t... really have an excuse when there’s so many different options, shortcuts and alternatives available to you. you don’t really cite from a shitton of different sources for your paper and then go back to pick through every individual quote to find where it came from to avoid plagiarizing. you just.. make a note or works cited. it takes like, 15 extra minutes. if you’re going to spend hours on photoshop or writing fancy infoposts, you can spend an extra 15 making a works cited.

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18) 

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[brizie-doodles]

Tagged

yeet tagged by the lovely @crazyanime3

Nickname: bri for family, everyone else can call me Ty

Zodiac sign: Cancer ♋

Last movie watched: i'm pretty sure it was ralph breaks the internet i still need to make time to draw my favorite princesses oh boi

Last thing you googled: fenton crackshell

Favorite musician: mhshsjvsi i don't really have specific ones often but i think my recent favs have been Billie eilish and alec benjamin

Songs stuck in your head: Two time by jack stauber

Other blogs: meh this is the only other one i have. Been thinking about making one for tmnt but I'd probably be too lazy to keep up with it bllsnhsh

Do you get asks: sometimes yeah!

Blogs following: currently 311. Most of them are inactive tho im just too lazy to scroll through all that -dies-

Amount of sleep:

Lucky number: uuhh 5 is my favorite so? I guess 5??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dream job: oof i just wanna draw what i wanna draw or like something i enjoy pertaining to art i guess. Or something that lets me work with animals like a field zoologist or smthin.

Dream trip: idk somewhere with friends. I don't think much about places. I remember really wanting to go to rio because of the movie rio tho 😂😂😂. Still a tempting option.

Favorite food: idk i really like savory stuff man food is just,, good,,. Pizza is always a go to favorite tho. Or waffles

Play any instruments: cant play an instrument to save my life. I really like drums or guitars tho.

Languages: English and very basic Spanish. I want to be more fluent in Spanish, i just really love the language and culture!! And maybe French uwu

Favorite songs: shit too many to name hdhsbdn

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: uuhhh dont know how tor really describe myself but i really like pastel colors and spacey stuff like stars and stuff. Also like idk cute food? AND TEETH! sharp teeth!! FAngs BaBEy!!

Random fact: uuhh i shoved a watermelon seed in my ear like a dumbass once. :))))

Jsjdje i dont feel like taging 21 people but i will tag @cloud-ya @viconekochan @scylla-the-frog-queen @sleepyowl55 @karmakitty @miss-arlert-orihara-watanuki @angel-of-music-hyde-no-longer and mmm idk Ill putpre later i guess

[crazy-hand-official]

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences. 

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist. 

but also i guess i just really love tunes. 

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums 

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch. 

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao. 

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin 

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer. 

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still. 

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting. 

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

  i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

[scanlonblogs]

Blog #12 - Procrastination

     Have you ever procrastinated and wished you were better at managing your time?  Did you ever think that being a procrastinator meant being disorganized, stressed, and lazy?  I am here to tell you that this is not the case.  Being a professional procrastinator myself, I have learned over the years that there are many benefits to procrastination.  Through this understanding, I would rather be a procrastinator than someone who plans their life three weeks in advance.  Of course, life management strategies vary from person to person, but if you are a procrastinator, be proud, realize you are not alone, and understand you have the skills to excel farther than most.

     When people procrastinate, they will often have a sudden rush of energy.  This occurs due to the realization of needing to complete the project.  The excuses used previously will no longer prolong the inevitable.  Because of this, the procrastinator has to kick it into overdrive in order to successfully meet the deadline.  This is a long-lasting energy spike whose duration will usually last for as long as the project is being worked on.  The benefit of this energy is that we are actively training our brain to kick it up a notch when working on an important task.  Not only that, but we are channeling our energy towards something specific rather than multiple different items.  This can help in accomplishing goals both inside outside of procrastination.  We are able to remain energized while also working fast and efficiently

     Procrastination also means there is a short window to complete the task at hand.  As a result, those who procrastinate tend to have an enhanced sense of focus when working towards the accomplishment of their goal.  This focus, paired with the benefits of the energy spike, can be a deadly combination.  When there is a deadline and the project has not been completed, the only item on the person’s mind is finishing that project.  Previous distractions will no longer be the problem.  If you are a procrastinator like me, I am sure you have felt this level of focus.  It is amazing what people can accomplish when they are backed into a corner.  This level of focus can also result in one’s work being of high quality.  Not all procrastinators wait until the last minute only to do the bare minimum required.  Most procrastinators wait until the last minute with the thought of doing good work in a short period of time.  Because they are so focused on getting the project done, they are able to think and strategize without distractions getting in the way.  This aids in increasing the quality of the work while still managing to meet the deadlines.

     Completing a task through energy spikes and enhanced focus is great, but one of the greatest benefits of procrastination is its aid in lowering anxiety.  To non-procrastinators, you might be thinking, “how can someone lower their anxiety levels by waiting until the last minute?”  The answer is in the question.  The reason why most people procrastinate is because they are avoiding something that they would rather do later.  Procrastinators would rather enjoy themselves presently and put off their projects for as long as possible.  Thus, rather than stress over that paper due in two weeks, they will watch TV, go for a walk, etc.  While everyone around them is stressing over getting it done, the procrastinator will be relaxing, knowing they will get to it at some point.  I personally have had conversations with my brother where he would do papers three weeks in advance.  Being a procrastinator, I could never do that, not just because there is too much to enjoy in the now, but also because I find it inefficient.  My brother and people like him will argue that doing a paper three weeks in advance is just as beneficial for lowering anxiety.  Depending on the person, this can be true, but most of the time it is better to wait.  You can still plan and strategize while waiting to complete the task.  This is why I find efficiency in waiting, because that planning can be used to raise the quality of certain tasks while also speeding up the completion process.

     I suggest that everyone procrastinate from time to time.  Procrastination can be freeing and will train your brain in becoming more efficient when working.  Not every task thrown your way has to be completed immediately.  What is important to remember is that you will complete your task, so do not stress over it.  Life is about hard work, but it is also about relaxation and happiness.  You cannot expect to accomplish your goals if you are stressed all of the time.  Move some things to the side and give yourself some breathing space.  Do what has to be done and worry about what can be put off in the future.  I guarantee you will see small changes in your life.

Song of the Blog:

Today’s Song is “Listen To The Music,” by The Doobie Brothers!  Listen while reading for a better experience!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVgMzKMgNxw

Social Media:

Tumblr: @scanlonblogs

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ScanlonBlogs

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/scanlonblogs/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/scanlonblogs/

Special Thanks & Tags:

   Thank you to @okrashan , @viragowriter , @hidden--quotes , @creativespacetime , @spanishsunflowerr , @thewriteblrchronicles , @ill-write-when-im-dead , & YOU, the reader, for helping me spread my words beyond myself.  I truly appreciate it!

[c0co-cos]

Blue's Highest Rank

I felt horrible because I wrote someone else a story, but I didn't write @nozapuns-nsfw a story. So i'd like to award this Fan Fic to them. I absolutely love their artwork, and I hope they continue to work of their 'Fractured comic'

I love how listening to a song can completely change my idea for this story. It was first gonna be a full story and all, but throughout downloading music on my phone for a trip im taking, I found a gem.

The gem was "Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me" by IAMX

So basically that's the song you should listen to while reading this.

Summary: Blue Berry was the best of the best. He was quickly going up the ranks to become part of the Royal Guard. That changed when Blue was introduced to Alphys and Undyne.

Tags:

Chapter 1: Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me

Blue Berry was quickly working up the ranks. He started on the lowest of the low. Then he met Alphys, and thank lord he did. He was training with her, Every. Single. Day. He didn't really have any prior interactions with Alphys, but out of luck, they bonded quickly and things got straight to the point.

He had liked his time spent with Alphys, there was never a dull moment, Also he never knew what he was going to do during training. It always changed. It went to dodging attacks one day, to making Tacos in her kitchen the next. There was always something new to learn.

Blue wasn't sure when he met Undyne, but he knew Papyrus was friends with her. Papyrus didn't really get out the house much to hang out with anyone. Only time he went out was when he planned to get black out drunk at Muffets, but other than that, he found Papyrus going to Undyne's lab at random times during the night. He must have had a good reason to get up and go though. It wouldn't have been for nothing.

To Blues surprise, Papyrus actually knew Alphys. They had been friends before Undyne met Alphys. It always amazed Blue how almost everyone knew everyone in the underground.

Id it wasn't for Papyrus, he wouldn't know half the people he knows now. Papyrus was amazing. If it wasnt for him, Blue wouldn't have a room to sleep in nor have supplies to make food, even though Papyrus was mostly a lazy bum, he was Blue's lazy bum brother.

"Hey Alphys! Im here for today's training!" Blue couldn't wait for today's training, Alphys had something new in store, and laster on, Papy was going to come over and view their hard work.

Alphys jumped at the sudden loud voice coming outside her house. She had invited Blue earlier than usual, it wasn't something new shes done, but today she had a reason, and pulling it off wasn't going to be easy.

"Woah Blue, you scared me! Come on in, I gotta prepare the rest of the supplies."

Blue had already let himself in with the Key she leaves under the door mat.

"Wow Alphys, this place looks better and better each time we cook! With that being said, what are we making today? More tacos?"

"No, something better. Lets look at the menu."

Blue grabbed the piece of paper with the big letters on it spelling out 'MENU'. It had also been something Alphys did to tease Blue right before they started cooking. It was always Tacos, but he kept up the running gag, just for the giggles of it.

He unfolded it, revealing what they were going to make today. He eyes shrunk with fear.

"Today were making you.... Alphys this isnt funny you know!"

He saw Alphys out of the corner of his eye, he could see bright yellow magic coming off from her magically formed weapon. She loved using an axe. He quickly moved out the way, also using his bone attack to dodge it. He moved just in time, any second later, he would have been dust.

"Ha, nice Blue! You're getting better and quicker with each attack I throw your way. Sorry about my lil joke there, had to do something to get you distracted."

Blue's heart was pounding out of his chest. He knew at one point furing todays training, this would happen. Alphys said she does this to make him become aware of his surrounding at all times, but it still scared him shitless. Alphys could tell that Blue was very shook.

"Oh gosh, im sorry Blue. I should have done it while we were actually cooking. I won't do it again, I swear, just sit down at the table and ill make you some tea."

Blue dis just that. It was great to know Alphys didn't mean any harm, she never does. It was just a small scare, nothing else right?

"Here your tea Blue, again im sorry I did that. I wrote it for the fuck of it, then the idea came to mind where i can do the daily 'scare blue' skit, but it back fired. I truly am sorry Blue."

"No worries Alph. I know its a joke, I just need to stop being a big cry baby about it. Also thanks for the tea. But it's um.. Kinda sweeter than usual. What happened to 'my soul is black so my coffee and tea have to be the same'?"

"Oh actually its a different type of tea. Undyne gave it to me to try, and right now i can try it. But Blue, lets actually talk about the Guard. You kno--"

Blue couldn't think straight. He felt as if his whole world was spinning. He didn't like it, not one bit. Was it because of how scared he got earlier? Was he having a panic attack? He wouldn't know. He never had one before.

"Hey Alph. Im sorry but i think I got to cut th-this short. Sorry, it was uhh fun?" Blue was breaking a sweat by now. Maybe he was actually having a panic attack? Also what would he do about ? Papyrus wasn't home yet, and the way he was feeling, he wasn't getting home like this.

Blue looked up at Alphys. Her straight face had been completely gone, covered with a huge grin, starting from one side of her face to the other side. Blue was expecting her to look more freaked out like she had been when she had accidentally hurt him during training, but she stood absolutely still, giving Blue a horrid feeling.

"Oh please blue, what's wrong? Here, if you insist on leaving, let me carry you out the door." she said while walking towards his area. Blue was too freaked out by her fake response. It had seemed practiced, meaning she knew something he didn't.

Blue hesitated, backing away slowly from her, before bolting to the door. Even with how he was feeling, he could sense the danger. He didn't even make it anywhere close to the door, falling down after taking a couple of steps towards the direction. He couldn't move, and felt horribly tired.

For good measures, Alphys pinned him to the floor, magical axes surrounding him and the exit, if he planned to leave.

"Alphys? Why? What and why are you d-doing this? I'm sc-scared. Please, if I did anything to hurt you, l-l-let me know. I'll fix it just plea--" Blue had been cut off after he felt Alphys step on his ribcage. It hurt like hell, but he could take it.

"Honestly Sans, I'm sick and tired of you. Im doing this for myself, im just the message man at the point. But other than that, I can't stand you. Did you really think you, out of ALL monsters in the underground, you would be the same rank as me? There are kids, younger than you who have an actual chance of being in the Royal Guard. Sorry blue, you wont get the rank you want. But hopefully, this rank suits you and your lazy ass brother."

By this time, Blue had been trying to pull her leg off his ribcage. She was close to breaking it, and he would rather have a ribcage than none at all.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY G-GET YOUR LEG OFF!" Blue was struggling at this point. She was going to break it. He didn't want to die by getting stepped on, he was going to die in battle protecting everyone in the underground.

Alphys showed mercy, slowly lifting her leg off of his ribcage.

"This is how it's going to work okay Blue? I'm going to knock you out, don't worry, the most that would happen is you get a bruise, and I'll call Papy. You'll find everything out later. Goodnight Blue! Don't let the bed bugs bit."

Alphys couldn't really be doing this... It was a dream. He had to be. She would never harm him. At this point, hopefully Alphys knocking him out will cause him to wake up from this Nightmare.

Alphys came up to Blue, fist closed, ready to come in contact with his skull. It wasn't long before Blue actually knocked out.

Lucky for Alphys, the tea did most of the work, all she had to do was get him asleep. All she had to do now was call Papyrus and get him to teleport over to Undyne's lab.

Talking to people over the phone wasn't the easiest thing to do for her, but hey. She lied to Blue for most of tome they've known each other, so it shouldn't be harder over the phone.

"Pa-Papyrus? Oh thank god! Please come over quick! Its ! H-He fell and hit his head on the table! Come quick!"

Lucky for her, She didn't really have to give much detail regarding where she lived. Sometimes Papyrus would walk Blue home after practice, so he knew the way here. In seconds, a 'pop' noise came from inside her restroom.

"where is blue? oh my gosh... what happened?"

"I- I don't know! We were about to make Tacos, and he fell! Please take us to Undyne's lab, Im certain she knows what to do! S-she'll help!"

Papyrus didn't even have to think twice, he picked blue from off the floor, and teleported right into the lab.

Undyne was no where to been seen, and as the looks of it, so was Alphys. That's strange. Alphys was right next to him as he teleported.

"UNDYNE. NOW." Papyrus heard Alphys scream.He couldn't even turn his head before he passed out from whatever they did to him.

Him and blue were up for it when they woke up.

The story is also on my AO3, at @/sintaley if you would like to read it there :)

[cttrajan1206]

I posted 8,386 times in 2021

17 posts created (0%)

8369 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 492.3 posts.

I added 357 tags in 2021

#cttrajan - 222 posts

#lookie! - 22 posts

#crowls - 22 posts

#nevale - 17 posts

#tw: gif - 17 posts

#gif - 17 posts

#nevan - 11 posts

#orion nebula sys - 10 posts

#soul - 10 posts

#mono - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#i have known him for five minutes since u first posted abt him and if anything happens to him i will murder myself and everyone else

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Jumping in for a moment

K I’m certain no one’s gonna see this haha BUT I wanna make a post about an author I adore and look upto a lot

@/chivalrousamour on AO3!!! God they have a tumblr now i can’t tag them now sodifhser

THIS PERSON HAS MADE 300 FICS FOR THIS ONE FANDOM OF THEIRS, Confession Executive Committee as part of Honeyworks, AND 288 OF THEM ARE FOR A SINGLE SHIP AND YET EACH AND EVERY FIC IS ABSOLUTELY MARVELLOUS AND STUNNING

I haven’t finished readin gthem all but I plan to eventually and I just need everyone to KNOW that they’re super amazing and awesome and have inspired me for so much

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-17 21:17:16 GMT

#4

http://launchgood.com/homes4refugees21

My friend is doing some charity work for ramadan! Pls click the link and donate if you can! Or share and reblog.

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 14:45:21 GMT

#3

Hey! I noticed you wrote a liphiyo fic and I gotta say, it was wonderful~! 🧡🧡🧡 I'm gonna support you as a fan of your fic and a fellow fan of chivalrousamour UwU

AKSHSJSJJSJSJSSD AAAHHH???

oh ny god?? Thank you?? God i need to check tumblr more often again akdbd i competely missed this im so sorry im also tho just

AAAAA??

Thank you so much QAQ i was rly worried when i wrote the liphiyo fic because im not like. Fully in in the fandom and mainly know things through chivalrousamour's fics. Plus im mainly writing twisted wonderland things,, but thank you for the support, ill return every ounce of it back to you too!! I've seen you commenting on a bunch of chivalrousamour's fics and im glad someone else appreciates them as much as I do UvU

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 23:56:20 GMT

#2

uwu imagine laying in bed with Ruggie. It's his first break from all of his part time jobs and you two just sit and do your own thing. You watching videos, or sniping others on discord. Ruggie is scrolling through his phone on what to get for dinner. And it's such a nice moment for you two. Cuddling. Legs tangled together as the sun slowly starts to set as Ruggie rest his head on your neck as this moment is simple yet also comforting. A lazy bot also a relaxing day for you both.

oh fuck you

33 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 23:25:47 GMT

#1

#arrow sys#Love them#Absolute sweethearts all of em#And suoer fun to sprint with

FIRST OF ALL SOBS /pos

second,,, i know nothing abt twst or obey me but grabby hands at a ramble; i will absolutely listen if you wanted to talk about it :starry:

JSHDJF [WAILS ALOUD] I TOOK SO LONG SO GET BACK TO YOU THAT I FINISHED ONE OF THE WIPS IN THAT TIME LMAO!!

Well!! This is good promo! :> The one that i was typing up is finished now and it's the obey me fic! You can find it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33644662

Mammon and Movies:

Basically! Someone read another fic of mine that included my self insert flappy stimming and also getting mental breakdown so it asked if i could include a couple other stims in another work since he enjoyed my first one! I. Took that request and made an entire fic dedicated to him lmao. So! I asked it later on for what it would like me to include and which character to use and here we are!

This is a 4K fic of Mammon from Obey Me paired with a Neurodivergent!Reader. The plot is that of him showing you a magic trick and smoothly whipping out a movie ticket!! You've been wanting to ask him to see a movie with you for a while so this is perfect! So perfect in fact that you're overwhelmed with happiness and have a brief moment of being nonverbal as you're overwhelmed with euphoria. Then the next day, you meet him at the venue and the date begins! Other scenes include him allowing you to hold onto his bracelets as it's one of your stims (he wears one of every texture to accomodate to your tastes), you dissociating out of anxiety in a movie theatre and him helping to ground you, and finally! Him sleeping on your shoulder before the movie ends.

Ik i kinda just said the majority of the plot lmao but! Its just a fluffy and sweet movie date! I enjoyed writing it a lot although i got about 80% of it done a month ago and tyn didn't touch it for like 2 weeks sjdbsjd i was p sad abt that. I like finishing things quickly esp when its for other people!! But it was a comfort during a hard time to write this work at 2am under the light of a night lamp and to the tune of street life ambience.

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT MAMMONS OFFICIAL SONG "ARE YOU READY" LEGIT HAS NO HOURLONG LOOPS AND THAT WAS A HARD HIT TO ME BC LIKE I WANTED TO LISTEN TO IT ON TV BUT IT WASNT HAPPENINGGG TWT WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OTHER BROTHER'S SONGS INSTEAD LIKE PLSSS

Anyway lmao i'm quite happy with this work, it feels very round and finished to me which makes me happy because it means I didn't need to worry about editing it to feel satisfied. The requester liked it a lot too! Which made me super super happy. :>

Now!! For the twisted wonderland!! That’s a comfort plotline of mine that doesn’t really have a title yet and is still a wip that is written through my friend’s DMs BUT! I will also take the time to promo my twst writing blog! It is dead QvQ On there, you can see a bit more about the self insert in question but for now, i’ll just put the ship name as the title.

https://twst-sumi-squad.tumblr.com/

Kalim Al-Asim X Sumi Bint Khattar (Plot line):

So!! This one stemmed from me drawing something out of self indulgence and to show it to my friend, I described Sumi B in full and then I told them about my ships and around that time I had like five love songs I was obsessed with. And for each of them. I had. A separate animatic. For like at least 1 ship, the average was two but one had three. Sumi B was the centre of the most ships but not the only one. Anyway!! I told my friend about this and asked if I could dump my ideas onto them! They agreed and I started with a summarised version but then realised I needed a bit more build up so I started to write it in a bit more detail. Hah. It ended up being a Lot More Detailed but even then, I would write the scenes in a much more fluid and descriptive way if it were Real Writing so! I call it a Plotline. It is very long.

The plot itself is. long now. it’s a slowburn lmao because most if not all of my self insert ships tend to be slowburns. But this one? This particular self insert? Sumi B? Yeah she’s the only one with trust issues so she mothers the BIGGEST slowburns known to history. It takes them a year before she even considers him a friend despite seeing him every day and also having multiple deep conversations with him. Anyway though, this one is a big comfort becuase it has something I didn’t really dare to do before. Kalim, the canon character, falls in love with my oc first. Normally I have it the other way round becuase I’m too scared to assume that I would be like, deserving or like desirable enough for someone to have a crush on me. But with Sumi B, even I have a goddamn crush on her lmao. I indulge myself a bit with this one and really play around with emotions and!! In the most recent scene! We have finally reached the part where she actually starts to love him back! :D

I started this one a loooong time ago, at least a month and maybe two? It was Intended to be finsiehd in one night and then i got carried away and my friend got invested and then I ALSO got invested and so I started to develop the plot further so make it more interesting and keep the buildup going. It’s very fun and though i try to limit myself to summarising actions and dialogue, i fail. very often. so it often has little tidbits of more beautiful sentences and tension lmao. 

This particular fic is based off of my imagined animatic for the song “Would you be so kind” by Dodie! I didn’t know about the song until i saw other people’s animatics and I ended up taking it and running away haha! I’m currently really happy with it however I am really dreading the day where I actually write it out properly. If I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post the plotline by itself. I have another fic just like it, one with a different self insert who (in fact) is very very close with Sumi B and considers her his older sister, that i ALSO wrote in semi detailed plot lines in someone’s DMs. Both are massive comforts to me and though i love them, their plot lines are so goddamn long that i will dread the day i decide to write them all out.

So uhm!!! Yeah!! XDD Those are the two fics I was talking about! I hope you enjoyed my small ramblings about them haha. I’m starting college soon though so I fear I might have much more time for fanfic.

42 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 18:14:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[vigilent-yaksha]

tagged by: @aggy-the-which <3 

Last drink: som agua 

Last phone call: gamestop bc they wanted an interview 

Last text message: me gf abt job stuffs and THE FUTURE

Last song you listened to: fuckin uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh why do i cry by remote girl??? its so fucin good 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRAw5wsAKik

Last time i cried: i dont remember, probably over smthn dumb tho 

Dated someone twice: nooooooooooo...?

Kissed someone and regretted it: naw son, all keeses good keeses

Been cheated on: gosh i hope not 

Lost someone special: no

Been depressed: hell yea biihhh B) 

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nop! j

Fave colours: lilac, ruddy pink, basically bright neon rainbows,black, and cyan blue! 

In the last year have i…

Made new friends: a bunch!

Fallen out of love:no :0 

Laughed until you cried: lmao all the time

Found out someone was talking about you: no p 

Meet someone who changed you: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMM 

not rlly? im just a nasty boy aint nithin changin me

Found out who your friends are: lmao, none of my friends have been snakes, YET

General

How many facebook friends do you know irl: most except like.... 2

Do you have any pets: my dog napoleon! hes a fuck! 

Do you want to change your name: yea boiiii, idk if i wanna change my last names tho.

What did you do for your last birthday: nothing! 

What time did you wake up today: like 11:30 and i was almost late to my interview ;w;

What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing and watchin some movies

What is something you can’t wait for: hanging w my gf, uuuhh thE SUMMER.

What are you listening to right now: som good ol’ gamley grump

Have you ever spoken to a person named tom: ....n...no?? idk man everyone i know is latino/ not white, i maybe met a tom once.

Something that’s getting on your nerves: i dont wanna say it, its too mean ;w;

Most visited website: uh, dA and youtube really? im mostly on mobile tumblr sooooo

Hair colour: black! 

might dye it but, im looking for a job so //SHRUGS

Long or short hair: short and choppy! i cut my own hair so i keep it shaggy 

Do you have a crush on someone: im very gay for rami malek and mads mikkelson, also my girlfriend i guess shes cool too ;) 

What do you like about yourself: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh my HAIR 

god i love my hair i think its the most unique part of me, and my eyes, theyre small and cute, also my moles.

Want any piercings: hmm i wanna get a nose one but ima baby so ill probably wear fake ones,

Blood type: idk man 

Nicknames: bec, guts, pissboy, teddy bear, and more probably

Relationship status: me and my gf thottin around

Zodiac: gemini

Pronouns: he/him

Fave tv shows: madok magic, drago maido, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh

mobbu psycho.............uh.....

Tattoos: none, but i wanna get a witches kiss frm madok on my bod somewhere 

Right or left handed. right

Ever had surgery: yeeee

twice i think 

Piercings: ears and my lip used 2 be pierced but i just let it close 

Sport: naw but i like to dabble

Vacation: hmm.... anywhere as long as i can road trip there, deffs japan, 

More general.

Eating: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM cant ever stop me from gobbling everything up, my fav foods are dumplings/potstickers, fried rice,tortilla soup, and.. alot ok i love alot  

Drinking: i hate soda except apple sodas and sangria, ( w the occasional grape), uhh.... i guess i sorta drink the alcohols, nut much, just socially if im w the boys 

I’m about to watch: nothin, still watchin gamley gramps

Waiting for: me to stop being lazy 2 get some food 

Want:  M O N E Y 

Get married: Maybe! idk it depends in how it works out! i certaily hope so !

Career: idk man fuckin,,,, 

Which is better

Hugs or kisses:huggus

Lips or eyes: lippies

Shorter or taller: im tall, i like being tall, but my gf is a teeny tiny baby, so both 

Older or younger: older!

Arms or stomach: tum!

Hook up or relationship: ....uh.. neither?? 

Troublemaker or hesitant: TROUBLE

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: Ye, twice

Drank hard liquor: is drinking straight fireball like.. hard liquor?

Lost glasses: no but i break em all the time, 

Turned someone down: not... explicitly, they just told me they liked me, said some sexual things, and then never responded when i said i was uncomfortable, then i got together w my gf a day later! 

Sex on the first date: naw homie, i am a civilized boy 

Broken someone’s heart: //SHRUGS, all of my exes excpet one have broken up with me, exept one, but they had someone new a few days later so, i doubt they missed me 

Had your heart broken: meh

Been arrested: probably

Cried when someone died: well yea.

Fallen for a friend: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Do you believe in

Yourself: HELL YEA

Miracles:i belive in good karma, so i suppose.

Love at first sight: MMMMM. it depends, bc you can start having feelings for someone as you see them, but those feelings should be explored before realizing you really want to be with them, is your humor compatible? is your way of speaking and acting compatible?

Santa claus: bih im latino we partied all night santa was never a thing for us 

Angels: the angle in my heart is my darling gremlin 

Other

Best friends name: i have alot ok, so many friends i love

Eye colour: dark dark DARK brown.

Favourite movie: uh, this is hard, i guess i alwasy go back to watch the rebellion movie, uuuhh.... fuckin,,,, //SHRUGS

Fave actor: rAM I M A L E K