#im thinking of posting the whole thing on substack
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dailykafka · 2 years ago
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- December 25, 1911
- The diaries of Franz Kafka, 1910-1913
[ID: There is universal delight in the literary treatment of petty themes whose scope is not permitted to exceed the capacity of small enthusiasms and which are sustained by their polemical possibilities. End ID]
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lovesexdhokha · 1 year ago
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okay so my ex bsf wants to meet tomorrow and i haven't decided if i should meet her yet. what should i dom
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drdemonprince · 7 months ago
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Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.
Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.
I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.
I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.
transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.
if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.
ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.
maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.
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newwavesylviaplath · 4 months ago
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another opinion on pop music that i can't stop thinking about: i don't fw the whole "chappell roan is THE NEXT lady gaga" notion. this is one of the rare times that i can actually give an unbiased opinion considering they're both in my top five most streamed artists and i adore the both of them to no end. so it's not like i think one is shittier and less deserving of fame. i actually really hate any instance where someone says "this very popular artist is this generations <influential artist>" because i feel like it's very reductive to both artists in general. not only does it discredit chappell as her own artist, but it also paints gaga as washed up. i feel like this kind of narrative is a big contribution to why female artists don't want to age out of fear of being pushed to the sidelines by the industry. taylor swift is a good example of this (i feel like i don't have to elaborate if you've listened to nothing new or the lucky one). my point is, i think referring to chappell roan as the new lady gaga is harmful to both women and almost inherently pits them against one another. not to mention, they don't sound the same. chappell and gaga DO have plenty of things in common. they both make great pop music that is crazy popular within the queer community, and are known for wearing elaborate outfits and having incredible stage presence. their music might have some similarities as a result of chappell taking inspiration from gaga- but there are just as many differences. both sonically and lyrically, they're songs tend to have little in common. not to mention their cultural impacts, chappell is making music that is campy and outlandish, but she's doing it in a post-gaga world. whilst chappells sound is incredibly fresh to the ear, it isn't pushing the envelope in the way gagas debut album did. anyways i feel like ive been talking too much maybe i should make a substack for this shit. (also this was not proofread or anything im in my room in the dark typing whatever comes to mind so sorry if this isn't like some a plus level analysis)
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desire-mona · 7 months ago
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dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun
- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.
- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver
- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.
- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.
- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.
- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.
- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.
- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.
- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.
- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.
- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.
- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)
- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.
- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.
- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)
- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.
bonus! chris and keating! just for you!
- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.
- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.
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graceful-not · 2 years ago
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I'm not usually one to post about substacks but I had to say
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NO ONE MENTIONED NED LAND HEE HEE....🥺🥺
i just. he's so angry and sad and homesick and NOT FEELING GOOD for most of his stay in the nautilus and this chapter (though I do still DESPISE the racism) is the only time we really get to see PURE JOY and he's just. he's so sweet and cooking for his friends and and.... 😭😭😭 It's like Pierre says; "Ned Land couldn't conceal his glee. He was a prisoner escaping from prison and never dreaming he would need to reenter it."
Every other moment of joy Ned has is either immediately crushed or tinged with 'im trapped and can't leave.' and I think it's just so sweet we get a glimpse of Ned as he is in his day to day life; a kind and generous and witty and loving guy, not in his Professional Hunting Mood like he is at the beginning of the book, or the angsty anger during his stay- we see him jumping around and cracking jokes and cooking...
it just makes me think of all of the people he still has on land. I get the feeling he's so used to just being AROUND others, constantly, no matter who they are, and forming fast lifelong companions. He's going stir crazy someone help him 😭😭. I also do think he has people waiting for him back home, IE close friends and still living relatives (maybe even his parents!) which makes the whole thing sadder. sorry I just care so much abt Ned and doubly so since he doesnt get as much recognition as the others,,
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shochet · 8 months ago
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I’ve been researching pop culture references in the exorcist 1971 book (Im running a substack soon and I wanted a trivia section) and at least 3 of the celebrities the homophobic author compares to his repressed troubled priest main character came out or was realized to be gay or bi a few years later and apparently there’s a patron saint of aids survivors? And now the whole story feels different because the main character is explicitly connected to him but it was unintentional (canonization happened in the 2000s) and I don’t want to give the church credit for having a patron saint like that I know they still hate gay people. Obviously we have to cheer on other lgbt people more than laugh at the anguish of homophobes but I like to think about how much pain it caused him. His character is gay or bi and that’s final. And the catholic school featured in The Exorcist now has openly gay students arranging events. The author tried to complain to the bishop, but it never went anywhere.
Anyways I’ve been trying to be more open about my bisexuality and transness to my family because of this book, and got my closeted grandma to laugh when I said I can’t even get a boyfriend OR girlfriend. My immediate family aren’t practicing Catholics but they are traditional about thing to the point it still feels weird and they say things that are… you know. Oh well. Little victories.
This is so fascinating... i've never read the book for the exorcist and only watched the film quite some time ago, but it is kinda gratifying like you said to know such circumstances as this result in the author suffering in such poetic manner... and im really glad you've found such an important support system from within these discoveries♥️ i really need to rewatch the movie sometime... seeing you post so much about it all has me eying the book and considering looking for a copy more and more everyday truth be told... this definetly makes me even more curious, and i'd love to read your substack whenever you feel it ready btw!! And i think laughing at homophobes as a treat is important enrichment sometimes...
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amodernpieceofglasswork · 4 years ago
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i downloaded instagram again to promote the latest issue of dispatch #4. planning to showcase the dispatch series at the substation this weekend. not too sure if i can sell them there, but again it’s about getting it out. when is the last time i showed work that is self-initiated? anyway, just 30min into using the app and i am so tired of the shit lmao.
one post that really got to me was about how this person said they were struggling with work and thank the people for being there for them. it was a long caption, the kind of statement i could deeply relate to but also hated? i was doing the same thing, it is just that i didn’t actually divorce myself from work, more of a cut connection to the online world. online, if you don’t post anything you did, you’ve not done anything. i mean, i love instagram for that. i love to show things that i made and things that i like.
i would like to get my r/s with instagram to a point where, i can post a pic and go. no more long ass essays there.
i think i’m looking for meaning in a place where people may not look too hard for the same thing. again it goes back to the whole point of why i began my newsletter, why im writing on my tumblr. why i’m talking to my friends more. i am also considering to have a substack where people can subscribe to.
something that came across my mind was 8 days. a weekly mag priced at $2. as a concept i think it’s wonderful. the price is right. the content... it has bits of everything, trashy gossip, useless celeb news that i lapped up, a food section that began my interest in reading food magazines, and other lifestyle bits. bite size things that make you look forward to the next update. going to the petrol kiosk to buy a copy. i want to do something similar, create that sort of thing that people can look forward to, and for me, the variety of content that keeps me interested and motivated enough to do for long. 
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graceful-not · 2 years ago
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I'm not usually one to post about substacks but I had to say
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NO ONE MENTIONED NED LAND HEE HEE....🥺🥺
i just. he's so angry and sad and homesick and NOT FEELING GOOD for most of his stay in the nautilus and this chapter (though I do still DESPISE the racism) is the only time we really get to see PURE JOY and he's just. he's so sweet and cooking for his friends and and.... 😭😭😭 It's like Pierre says; "Ned Land couldn't conceal his glee. He was a prisoner escaping from prison and never dreaming he would need to reenter it."
Every other moment of joy Ned has is either immediately crushed or tinged with 'im trapped and can't leave.' and I think it's just so sweet we get a glimpse of Ned as he is in his day today life; a kind and generous and witty and loving guy, not in his Professional Hunting Mood like he is at the beginning of the book, or the angsty anger during his stay- we see him jumping around and cracking jokes and cooking...
it just makes me think of all of the people he still has on land. I get the feeling he's so used to just being AROUND others, constantly, no matter who they are, and forming fast lifelong companions. He's going stir crazy someone help him 😭😭. I also do think he has people waiting for him back home, IE close friends and still living relatives (maybe even his parents!) which makes the whole thing sadder. sorry I just care so much abt Ned and doubly so since he doesnt get as much recognition as the others,,
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lovesexdhokha · 1 year ago
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please see this.
okay so my ex bsf wants to meet tomorrow and i haven't decided if i should meet her yet. what should i dom
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