#im thinking a lot about it devours and the current story arc of the podcast and im!!! so worried

[leeraiii]

carlos rant and it devours spoilers ahead !!!!! pls dont look at the images if you havent read the novel yet (WHICH YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD)

CARLOS IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE AND FOR HIM TO GO FROM THIS

TO THIS

BROKE MY HEART MORE THAN OLD OAK DOORS DID AND THATS SAYING A LOT

I AM WORRIED FOR THIS MAN HE IS SO FULL OF LOVE, LOVE FOR HIS FAMILY, LOVE FOR WHAT HE DOES, AND TO SEE HIM SO TORN UP, SO SHAKEN TO HIS CORE LIKE THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING

not to mention what else happens in this book and I JUST- i dont think i can ever comprehend how much it must've killed him to find out that what almost killed janice (and almost most of the town) in the first place was HIS SCIENCE it was him, it was his machine all along and

“Not now, Nils. My family is on the line. Only science can save them.”

I JUST-

i dont even know what i was going for anymore and i wanted to say was that 

CARLOS THE SCIENTIST IS A LOVELY HUMAN BEING WHO LOVES SCIENCE, WHO CRIES AND LAUGHS AND MAKES MISTAKES BUT ALSO VALUES EVERYONE HE LOVES AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO KEEP THEM SAFE AND I'LL TAKE A FUCKING BULLET FOR HIM