#im the only one who has ever even tried to seek help and work on my issues. i have tried. ididnt succeed bc i cant do it on my own

[love-toxin]

oh my god ur eric draven piece….. him finishing his revenge spree and still continuing to live afterwards is just insane. like grappling with the fact that he’s Still here and stuck with the grief and emptiness even after he’s killed everyone who hurt him and shelly…… im sick. im ILL!!! resenting becoming human again bc its torture…. he needs to be comforted and by god i’ll do it (LMAO)

ugh!! i love it!!!! the absolute horror of putting all your rage into a single act of self-sacrificing vengeance only to realize there's no going home in the end....just have to sit with what you've done and realize you don't belong anywhere anymore. everybody you love and hate are dead, and the few people of the former that aren't you can't have anything to do with because being near them will only hurt them worse. knowing you're probably a monster and you'll never find love or comfort again, but even worse, you don't know if you even deserve that much in the first place.

so when you come along and you try to get close to him, he shies away. flees if he has to. hides. you remind him too much of the life he loved before his death and it's too painful knowing he'll never have that again. he forgot there were sweet people and kind people and people who love indiscriminately and because you're one of them, he finds himself inexplicably drawn to you despite telling himself it can never go any further. he has to hold back. you deserve someone alive and...happy. you don't need his burdens weighing you down, you've got a whole life to live and people to meet and lovers to spend your life with.

but because he's drawn to you, he finds purpose. people in this city love to prey on the vulnerable, the weak, and the fragile, they would even eat each other alive if it came down to it. and the thought of you ever being in pain, in trouble, of you being accosted on your way to work or grabbed on your way home--oh, it boils his icy blood. he would rather rip his own limbs off than ever see you taken advantage of by some filthy scum off the street.

so even though he hates it--hates being alive, hates having to live with his regrets and suffer his pain--he seeks his purpose through more destruction. remorseless life-taking. nobody who hurts you or tries to hurt you is innocent, so they all deserve to be taken out with the trash in the worst ways possible. the man who drugged your drink is dragged out the back door of the bar. the guy who bugged your car has his own blown up while he's in it. the creeps who jiggle your doorknob at night hoping it's unlocked? they'll never find all the pieces of those ones.

because you're deserving of so much more than a life of feeling scared and being alone. Eric tells himself that if you ever find a partner that can protect you he'll stop following you around, but he knows deep down that's not really gonna happen. he'll follow you to the grave. besides, you have so much love to give and he can't deny that he deeply enjoys how badly you want to get close to him, to know the man that is always in your peripheral but can't quite work up the nerve to say hello. even though he's convinced it can never be, he can't help wondering whenever he stops and stares at you from across the street in the rain, watching you through the window as you work....could you be the reason he's still here?

[generalluxun]

Hey. Asking about how Chloe was abused. My knowldge of abuse is fairly limited to general pop knowledge so I'm curious as to what abuse was done to her.

Okay caveats first:

I am not a medical professional, I am simply someone with a vested interest in the topic who has done more research than the average person.

There are many definitions of abuse. Legal definitions are rarely useful, as they are limited to concrete, provable, gross violations. Just as you can inflict a lot of pain on someone without leaving the marks to prove assault, you can do a lot of damage to a child without it being legally 'provable'. Medical definitions are much more helpful for discussions.

Lastly some level of extrapolation is required as it is a show. We take what we are shown. For example:We actually only have Felix's word that he was ever abused, and his first character traits sre being deceitful and manipulative. We still take his word though, because it's a show. (And also we should give weight to victim accounts!)

So both parents are guilty in different ways. We will start with Audrey, the simpler one. There's clear verbal and emotional abuse demonstrated on screen. Mis-naming your child is a form of abuse:please ask the trans community about the impact of deadnaming even in full grown adults.

Beyond that she is constantly dismissive and belittling of her child- to the exclusion of all else. Style Queen/Queen Wasp is rife with examples. There is also the clear behavior shift in Chloé. The wheeling, approval seeking, hunched posture expecting rejection. This is a *pattern* not a one off. Audrey may live in NY, but no fashion movil would be away from Paris for 13yrs straight. We are simply seeing the most recent interaction. This culminates im a child having to ask 'Why don't you love me mother?' and the response is telling

Audrey barely chokes out the strange word when trying to contradict the question. It takes Marinette literally making them both mad at her to get a bare minimum of interaction on Audrey's part. It doesn't last though. Audrey falls back into her negation behaviors and is now present to inflict them more regularly on Chloé, while also being a constant target for/model of behavior for Chloé. (Seriously it was such a misstep to write Marinette reuniting a victim with an abuser) We know the show itself considers Audrey'ss care as a bad thing because the original script had André divorcing her and takin Zoé because Zoé 'doesn't deserve you' so Chloé being in an abusive parenting situation in Representation is supposed to be 'punishment'(ewww)

André is not off the hook either. People look at him 'spoiling' her and leave it at that. Well, 'spoiling' can in fact be abusive too. Let's look at what we see:

André has been her primary caregiver for 14 years now, so he has had the most responsibility in molding what we see for good or bad(mostly bad). She does learn from him too. Darkblade she proudly announces she learned everything about winning elections from watching her father. He's also excessively arrogant (I'm the symbol of Paris!) and quite willing to abuse his power for his own ends(having Roger round up protestors etc) which explains where Chloé learned where power is to be abused.

André is also extremely neglectful as a parent, extreeeeemely. Let's hit a bunch of points in the order they come to me.

Chloé lives *alone* in a hotel suite. There's no shared space, no family area. It's not even really her room. It's commercial, sterile. Where sre her hobbies? Posters? Even her *colors*? She is so used to being ignored at home that the girl who is loud as heck everywhere else doesn't make a single mark on her living space.

A hotel employee seems to think he needs to step in to raise Chloé. Let that sink in. An employee can see how bad it is and tried to make some kind of change, (he's working against a lifetime of ingrained behavior and is not very good at it himself). He doesn't even think to you know... Get Andre in to do this.

André was unaware or didn't care his daughter hasn't done schoolwork since Sabrina *learned to write*(5/6 yrs old) that is a shocking level of disinterest in your child. 6yr olds aren't criminal masterminds.

Andre supplants actual attention and affection with *stuff* he gives material possessions in *place* of parenting. This is somewhat similar to spoiling but not the same. André's method denies the child something vital. You see- things aren't a substitute for affection/attention, developmentally. And so while they may delight they never satisfy the need. They never validate the emotional attachment. So after the shine wears off, the hole is still there. So, like someone with an addiction, the child needs more, and more, and more. Since the needs are never met, it is never enough. And this is what the child views as *normal* this is simply *how it is*. They rarely know they are being given inadequate care because it's just life to them. Seeing something different in a one off doesn't make a dent vs a whole life.

This sort of thing makes a potent cocktail when mixed with the abandonment issues from her mother too. See- if her mother left, and daddy doesn't pay attention, anyone can leave. This leads to a cycle of pushing/demanding/hurting. The child expects to be left and let down, so they both try to reassure themselves it won't happen, and *make* it happen on their own terms (because they believe deep down it will) so more outrageous demands, because when those demands are met, it shows that you are still 'loved' and when they are not met, then there you go, you are not loved and they will leave you. It's a self-destructive spiral.

You see it play out with her interactions with her classmates and Sabrina specifically. How does she express affection? Gifts. What does she do? Push. Push and push and find the breaking point because if she can make Sabrina actually leave then it shows that she herself is worthless and her mother was right to leave her and her father is right to ignore her. Pretty messed up right? Yeah. Child abuse does horrible things to kids.

We're not done with André yet. Some people might say 'he expresses love for Chloé!' and to that I say- performatively.

André likes the idea of being a father. It's what respectable people do. It looks good on camera. It's someone to love him unconditionally. It's an ally against his wife.(broken home dynamics are horrible too) André just doesn't like having to parent for more than a snapshot.

We can see his interactions with Zoé highlight this too. He's delighted she's here!(a potential person on his side vs his wife and daughter) what's his first parenting advice? 'lock your dreams away and get on with life' A+ André.

What's he do in Queen Banana? He uses his power to let Chloé manipulate the movie *kicking Zoé out of it* This is the guy who is supposed to be supporting her? He only draws the line when it comes to sending Zoé away... Why? He doesn't want to lose an 'ally'. It's power dynamics. Not parenting. Where was he when Zoé was stuck in boarding school? He was going to keep Zoé in the divorce so clearly Mr Lee isn't in the picture, Audrey probably forgot Zoé existed, why didn't André bring Zoé to France and let the sisters grow up together? Oh, right, that might be work.

André likes Zoé because she comes pre-raised(boarding school was probably better than either parent) he doesn't have to put in work and he gets a free good kid to make him look like a father. She's his 'do over' as he throws the one he raised in the trash.

André shows his true colors when he's lamenting to Gabe about his corruption and abuse and blames ot on his 'heartless daughter' you know... The child he raised. The grown man is actually shoving his own corruption and misdeeds onto his child. You really don't need much more than that.

So, via neglect, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse the Bourgeois parents raised an incredibly messed up child. Chloé is not a 'good victim' like Adrien, she doesn't sulk quietly under abuse. She lashes out. She is hurt and angry and she passes the pain on. This is why they call it the cycle of abuse.

The end of Revolution illustrates this perfectly. Audrey throws verbal abuse at her on the plane. Angry that Chloé embarrassed her(not that she did wrong, Audrey loved the power grab) and calls her a loser by implication. You *see* it hit, the physical cringe. Then Chloé immedietely goes to try and pass on the pain. She is hurt and making someone else hurt is the only way to lessen it. She calls Marinette. Marinette breaks the cycle though, and good for her. But the show seems to have forgotten there's still one hurt child in this scene, and it doesn't seem to care.

I'm going to stop here for now. I probably left a bunch out, but I do have other things I need to do. Feel free to ask more questions. Thanks for taking the time to seek answers.

[iminthetunnels]

i cannot bear the pain. it is an embarrassment. i am a fool. how could i have done this. i wont hold back. i cannot lie. my entire life is filled with pain and regret. i’ve been given a horrible hand. i hate i have to make myself withstand it. i hate i have to be strong and bear the sorrows. i am not a victim. i refuse to make myself wallow in pity. i’ve written it before. i have spoken about how you’d never expect me to have lived the life i did. abused at 3, abused continually through adolescence. my entire childhood, sexualized. the one person, never believing me. my believer and confidant, my one true hero, died in a horrific accident. she was taken too soon. but it’s also gods time. this is probably where i developed chronic vaginal pain and back pain. from being penetrated at 3. i remember this all. i remember the day. i never, ever blocked it out. i had a baby sister shortly after and i remember her birth too. it was normal to me. 3. from then on, just abused myself the way i was abused as a toddler, as a child. went on to be abused by others as well. seek out thrills and “exciting” life of drugs, sex work, partying, addiction, homelessness, eventually loneliness. i pulled myself out of all of this by myself. i picked myself up. i got myself a career. i found what worked for me. i eventually went on to travel more. met someone who i loved endlessly. had their child. turned extremely abusive as the pregnancy began. and what’s cruel is, he comforted me in all my miscarriages. i had a traumatic one, where i saw the sac. it was large and i was 12 weeks along. he helped me tremendously. only to slam my head into a window and break my tooth out. it was a porcelain tooth anyway. still. my tumors and pelvic inflammation from when i was a toddler grew even larger in my uterus and pelvic floor. my entire pregnancy was agony. i even struggled with wanting to get an abortion. but i didn’t really want that. i really wanted my baby. i had dreams of him, and truth be told. i thought id miscarry. even ultrasound i expected the “im so sorry” but i eventually got to end mark. and i wanted this baby so bad i prayed for it. i almost died during labor. preterm laboring for lord knows how long. leaking fluid and my stomach clenching with each contraction. i almost died on the OR table. so did my baby. he suffered loss of oxygen and by the absolute grace of god, he came out only having minimal damage. we are on our way for testing for cerebral palsy. he has seizures, and nystagmus. he’s technically blind and developmentally delayed. but he’s so intelligent. singing to sade at just 2 years old. he’s very musically inclined. he’s a miracle. i saw angels surrounding me on the or table. i saw lights. i felt angels talking to me. nurses laughing at me. i remember so vividly. all i wanted was for my baby’s father to reach out and hold me. what a common theme. just wanting to be held. i had the worst time breastfeeding and horrible panic attacks over formula feeding. don’t care what anyone says about formula. i hated it. i switched to goats milk at 6 months old. and donated breast milk. he never slept, in fact, he was a “colicky” baby. he was angry. looking back, i had no idea he had brain damage. the only thing i noticed immediately were the eyes. the nystagmus. diagnosed retina damaged due to non delayed cord clamping. resulting in the nystagmus. tried fighting a case. completely dismissed because i had no money for a lawyer. no legal backup. the caused so many interventions. pitocin should be illegal to gove to women. induction due to preterm labor should be banned. i’m not even making a harsh claim. against all odds, i feel my child saved my life. my baby is 3. the age i was changing diapers, feeding my sister, abused. i remember it so vividly. i couldn’t imagine this life for my son. he’s so happy and so full of bliss. no matter what. i pray to god we make it thru. no evil intentions shall prevail. for the lord has me. i don’t feel scared saying anything. because the lord has me.

i looked at my blog from years ago. when i was a sex worker, when i was trafficked around and raped by several men, they shoved money in my mouth and spit on my face. they tormented me and told me my life was worthless. all for the “kink” i was a sex worker at 15, meeting up with men. men in the military, police men, hospital workers, pediatricians. the worst one was a dentist who paid for my dental pictures and teeth work. it was so insane. he literally went mia one day and could never find him. all these men told me they loved i was underaged. they knew. that’s why they were around me. and even more strange, i would go in public with these people. i would drink, smoke, do all these things in public with no ID, no hope, no anything. it truly makes you wonder how these things can even exist? the world has always been so gray and cruel to me. i know the advantages people in power get. i know the world is ran by filthy, nasty people. men and women. i know i felt like cattle. i knew they knew i was just “waste” i could die and no one would even bat an eye. i was homeless. but to everyone else, i was just a “runaway” i could of seriously been hurt. i don’t even know what happened when i would pass out. even more curiously, i never blacked out. no on alcohol, not on xanax, or mdma, or acid, or mushrooms, or coke. i was always so very aware of what was happening. and i took a lot. just crunching on 5-10 bars 2x a night. what is that? i can only think of it as it is happening in my head right now. what is that? what kind of life is that? i know that when i got older, past 13-16, men loved hearing how damaged i was they got off to it. i took the attention as love. oh these men want to hear me and listen to me. i became a mute at what?? 18. i was institutionalized and drugged at the mental hospitals. i struggled with panic attacks my whole life. different ones too. i feel like im floating talking about this. i’ve never typed it out. i’ve always written it down. i have a son who loves me very much and i love him very much. he is the light in such a dark place

my boyfriend broke up with me because i’m too negative. i had just taken my son to the cancer specialist and eye doctor. i was so overwhelmed with everything. all i wanted was a big hug and kiss. instead. he treated me like an anomaly. he treated me like i was insane. all these men. they look past men. all these men, they only see value in me when i give them my fake little happy faces. what if i told u i loved life. but i’m tormented. i have flashbacks every single day. i am not healed, i am only existing in such a world that i can’t even believe to be real. the only thing in my entire life, that has ever grounded me, that has ever felt real, are the words my son says to me. my son. the only thing that feels real. i feel pain in every fiber of my being. i feel it so deeply. i haven’t slept in days. i cannot eat. i am getting sick, throwing up and shaking. i can tell ive lost weight, in just 2 days? i was happy and eating before. this person gave me such clarity and hope. i thought i had an angel by my side. i thought the world wasn’t as cruel as it is. i thought i found true and honest love. i thought i was to marry him. the way my son would look at him and love him. they way my son grew with this person by them. only to be terrible betrayed. are all men like this. is this how my life is to be. i want only the best for my son. i will be going to school soon and finding a job thru my degree. i hope i make enough. it doesn’t need to be a lot. just enough for my son to be okay and know i did this all for him. because he’s the most important person in the world. i would lose all my color and oxygen to give him it all. he is my rock in this world and nothing will ever change that. i hope and pray no evil intentions prevail. he is the best thing to ever happen to me. he is why i still try. he is the reason. i dreamt about him before i ever had him. voices in my head told me he would protect me and that this is the life. voices in my head tell me i chose this life in particular. i am so glad i did. if it meant i got to meet my beautiful son.

[theshelteredbrat]

I'm so done

I don't wanna take care of myself anymore

I don't want to feel anything anymore bc anything I do for some sense of happiness ends badly, makes me feel worse (mainly due to my parents)

But I can't even fucking cry when I try. When I really need to?

But I hate feeling numb so maybe pain will work?

And of course my parents are just sooooo supportive (sarcastic voice). My mom keeps saying things that are basically calling me fat and sluggish. My parents won't let me do shit. Then they get mad at me for so many small stupid things.

They hate whenever I listen to music which is basically my only outlet.

school is fun bc I put on a mask and tell bad jokes and trip over myself to make sure everyone's happy and I'm not hated.

Whenever someone's mad or sad I feel its my fault even tho ik it's not but I feel horrible. And whenever I do share my true feelings they'll either laugh and dismiss it (which happens most of the time) or they get super concerned and I feel like I'm acting out for attention.

And idk I usually regret posting shit like this bc people are always rlly concerned but its sweet considering yall care about me a lot more than most ik irl but plz don't waste ur time over me. Im an attention seeking bitch whos not worth ur time and is js venting

Church and youth group is just great bc God don't care about me. I believe he exists bc I swear he has a grudge against me but he don't bother about me. And I feel like I'm getting preached at whenever I go. But I love the people there and can't really not go to church bc of my parents

And home is just SO MANY FUCKING CHILDREN

Like wtf I'm the oldest, then I get three siblings, which is fine, i love them they're js rlly annoying. Then they get into foster care. Then they stop. Now they're adopting someone. Now they're taking in six boys.

And ik the home is supposed to be a safe space and that's great but I feel so out of place and unwanted and useless. I literally take up a room, a drawer in the bathroom, I eat food. I shower, I use electricity, and tons of money

And I can't get a moment of peace, its literally do this, do that, and chores is good for taking responsibility but like wtf. I feed 1-8 children, get half of them dressed, help with brushing hair and teeth. Now I have to help them learn to read. Help them do their homework. Take them on a walk. Change the diaper.

Wtf this is parenting stuff I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday. My mom doesn't even have a job, she just has two kids during the day and will have to pick kids up (we all go to the same school except for one who takes the bus) and I'm yelled at all the time for being incompetent? For not finding a mess to clean up in a room I haven't been in all day?

For not doing homework when I'd helped everyone else? For not having time to get myself ready bc I have to get kids ready? For not exercising when there's literally no time? For not reading when I don't have any freedom. For saying yes, for saying no, for not having anyextracurricular, for having one?

My mom yells at me that I don't talk to my family enough or spend enough time with them. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell a joke or a cool fact or something funny that happened at school and they yelled at me to be quiet? How many times I've tried to tell them about my friends or a project at school or a new interest I've picked up to be insulted by them? They never fail to point out some flaw or traits that they don't like. How I didn't do something correctly.

Do you know how badly I've wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" in a nondissmissive way? From my family? I heard that from a teacher once in my life. Best memory ever.

I'm so fucking useless and unwanted and numb and tbh i deserve the pain and suffering of life. The mask at school and youth group may crumble and hopefully they'll dismiss me but they almost might get rlly concerned and ill js be the attention seeking bitch like I always am.

Oh God please ignore me. Don't be concerned. Don't waste your time on me. I'm js being a dumb little teen. Sorry if you read that all

[bonefall]

can we have some random trivia for HeatherHareBreeze? Im weirdly attached to that ship now tbh

Behold. The thems. A summary of the Hare/Heather/Breeze polycule.

Something overlooked about canon is that Breezepaw begged Crowfeather to let him say goodbye "to his friends" and was shot down

So I have interpreted this to mean that Breeze is actually a total ride or die little fella for his buddies

That was the reason why so many WindClan cats were in the Dark Forest. He was the RINGLEADER

By the way-- I am writing Breezepelt with BPD in mind. Him, Cinderheart, and Squirrelflight. He often sorts people into broad, unhealthy categories-- BAD or GOOD

But anyway I could talk about BB!Breezy-P all day

Bottom line is, these three were TIGHT. They're the three warrior apprentices of Lake WindClan in Po3 and were always getting in trouble together

Heatherpaw got them into digging holes. Normal stupid teenager shit "let's make the deepest hole ever"

Harepaw got buried OOPS. Get tunnel'd idiot

Brushblaze was nearby enough to hear someone scream and helped pull Hare out

After three sets of teary eyes BEGGED him to not tell Onestar, he made them promise to come get him when they were digging deep enough that they couldn't dig back up.

He's an ex-solver from BloodClan and can help them make sure they don't make an unstable hole

Bottom line is, the three of them go back a very long time, but I don't imagine it was even romantic back then. It was Heather And The Boys.

The Dark Forest drove a wedge between Heather and the boys, as she quickly realized that they may not have started with bad intentions, but cats like Mudclaw, Tigerstar, and Hawkfrost were BAD news and they were going to drag them all down too.

It wasn't worth it. Training with a REAL tunneler was the bait to lure her in like Tunnelbun crumbs for a hunted bird.

The wedge between Heather and the Boys became a wedge between the Boys when they all got their Dishonor Titles. Harespring --Darkseeker-- was working to atone. This meant disavowing his training, focusing on how he could help people, and seeking the things he could learn in his own Clan.

Breezepelt --Dodderheart--, took that badly. How dare Darkseeker start pretending like there was something to disavow! Onestar sucks! Crowfeather sucks! StarClan sucks! He'll do whatever it takes to get power and change things around here, get the respect he wants, but Breezepelt didn't learn his lesson at all

Darkseeker lost his Dishonor Title first, back to Harespring. Rottenheart decided he wasn't his friend anymore, just like Heathertail.

Dodderheart: "Everyone hates me except Furzepelt and Sunstrike! I'll bet they're all sitting around plotting against me right now!!"

Harespring: "aw this tunnelbun has a grumpy face like breezepelt lol"

Heather: "lol"

And so, as soon as he learned The Kin was looking for any cats who felt like the Clans had wronged them, misfits and rejects, he brought himself and his two supporters there. BIG mistake.

Mistake he spends the rest of his life regretting

Heather rightfully calls him on this when she ends up joining the Kin to learn more about her brother Darktail. "This is all garbage you put in your head! Crowfeather is a dick, and so is my dad, but you shoved me, and Hare, and even your stupid half siblings or whatever into some ridiculous narrative about how evil and hated you are! We LOVE you, can't you see that?!"

"YOU'RE the one who's blind! I killed Firestar, I tried to kill them, and only now with Darktail am I finally-"

"Being used AGAIN. He's using you. Just like Tigerstar when he wanted to get rid of Firestar."

"...thats not true you're l-lying"

"You're always being used, Breezepelt."

"No I'm not! Darktail's my friend and my leader! He sees the value in me, he says I'm going to do a lot for him, and without me the Kin wouldn't..."

Heather stares, unimpressed, before shrugging, "I'll still be here when you realize it. Will he?"

In the big breakout, Harespring is there to secure a tunnel for them all to escape with

I think it makes a good idea that it was a backup plan Heather had all along, and Hare was entrusted with making sure it was done by this day. Just in case Darktail turned out to be the lunatic they expected him to be

Brushblaze is going to go out here, too, collapsing the tunnel so they can't be followed. It's a really good end for him.

When Breezepelt comes back to WindClan, it is on their grace. Hare and Heather are both vouching on their honor that they will he responsible for his actions.

I imagine Harespring looked Onestar in the eyes when he did this. FULLY expecting to have to defend himself for working on a secret tunnel, losing Brushblaze, possibly losing his deputyship for LITERALLY undermining

But... Heathertail was saved. Breezepelt looks bedraggled and humbled, unlike what happened just about a year ago. Brushblaze made the ultimate sacrifice. Now is not the time to discuss this.

AVOS is just about to hit its climax; where Onestar steals Breezepelt's plan to drown killing Darktail.

But anyway, enough of the plot of Better Bones AVOS. Fluffy trivia time

Harestar eats his tunnelbuns like a beast. He bites clean through them, Heather and Breeze are always screaming about this

Harespring's personality is very mild, level headed, and thoughtful. He moves slowly when he's not in a hurry.

He can be pushed around under stress though. He doesn't like being under pressure for that reason, and tries to minimize situations where he's put on the spot.

In Clanmew his name is "Hare Will-Jump Up", it's a hare that thinks before it leaps.

Breezepelt appreciates how Harespring will reword things for him, when they work on communication together.

If Hare worded something in a way that set Breeze off, Breeze can just ask what he meant and Hare will say it a different way

When Harespring becomes Harestar, I like to think there are cats in the Clan who feel like Breeze is only here because of his wife and husband. And maybe he is, what're you gonna do about it? Cry?

Heather has an honest, curious personality. She likes to be respected for her intelligence and insight, being a smart person is something she values about herself.

She is not easily tricked and can be cutting if she smells bullshit. She will be rude if she thinks you're lying to her.

"Did you eat, Breep?" "Ye-" "no you fucking didn't go get food"

I don't see her as "nurturing" like others think, she's a militant carer and outgoing about what she believes to be the right thing

She's definitely the head of one of the patrols, probably Construction.

When kits come through in TBC, Breeze is the primary parent. Villain to mom pipeline

He doesn't hold a high rank in WindClan because he spent the majority of his life Being Breezepelt, and is accepting that he probably never will

And that's okay because he's currently the loyal Kitchen Head of MeadowClan and the kits have just gotten back from the harrowing death of Honeysucklestar but it's lunchtime

"Honeysucklestar too, being a corpse doesn't make you stop being hungry. Come on, up up up" Woodkit jumps up from her deathbed

Turns out he's better at caring for others than he is at caring for himself

He doesn't feel like he deserves this. Like love and happiness isn't something he should have, after everything he did and the people who are not here because of him

Yet, he persists. He's still here and, somehow, people think he's worth saving.

And maybe that's what matters. Making life better from this point forward, for everyone. In the ways he can.

[meilifera]

okay so. drdt ep 8 spoilers under the cut, also please check the tags for tws - a lot of the motives are quite sensitive so please beware!!

last night after the ep, my friend (hi @sentinel-kinjo) and i tried to see if we could connect the motives to the characters. ill explain the reasoning for down below. those that don't have a character next to them means i don't have enough info to be able to pinpoint on who that motive belongs to, even using process of elimination

ace - your body is falling apart but you still refuse to eat

there is a lot of evidence to support this. ace has a low bmi, didn't eat the cake in chapter 1 and has been said to like low-calorie foods in QnAs. ive seen some people throw around arturo due to his body image standards, but he doesn't seem to care much about himself specifically appealing to beauty standards, and was also one of the people who ate the cake in chapter 1.

??? - ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships

im not sure about this one at all- but using process of elimination, and the context, it is definitely one of the girls. the ones i didn't put anywhere are min, hu and eden, so it's probably one of them? i honestly don't really have any basis for pin pointing any of them as this one. maybe we should all collectively comb over ch1 to see who the biggest girl kisser is

j and arei's motives are canon, so i won't go over those

xander - you're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings, it doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them

pretty self explanatory, honestly.. we have many examples in the story of xander suffering from survivors guilt. his secret quote also speaks of survivors guilt. i feel like this is the only one that could fit him.

whit - your mother is dead, you always omit that truth

whit speaks highly of his mother, even having dyed his hair because of her. he does omit the truth also when trying to guess what his secret is during ch2, he doesn't speak about his mother being dead at all. his secret quote is also "we tend to idolize the dead" which goes hand in hand with both his motive and the very strong admiration he has for his mom.

charles' is canon, so skip

veronika - you only took on your talent to distract yourself for the incessant need to harm yourself for fun

i won't speak very much on this one, but she fits. the thing she dislikes the most is boredom. she seeks thrill in horror and dark media. it's possible that her talent has helped her heal from these tendencies.

david - you were quite the hopeless child. dying once wasn't enough, so you attempted suicide three times.

ive seen many different guesses on this one, but david is honestly the only one that i feel works completely. his secret is "i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i wish you'd just die." i hate you is notably repeated three times. this might seem like a reach but i think its also worth noting that when David mentioned that his secret was a family history about depression, nobody corrected him. i feel like if he had lied, or if his secret was something completely disconnected from said depression, the person who had his motive would've stood up and called out his bullshit. but three suicide attempts and depression are not unrelated. i think he was vague about the details of his depression due to his own discomfort talking about these subjects.

rose and nico are canon, so skip

teruko - how could i even select what secret to be your motive? just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. the killing game is your fault.

pretty self explanatory. teruko herself says she has too many secrets and doesn't know what they could possibly use against her. don't think anything but this fits

so the remaining ones are levi, arturo, hu, eden, and min. i can't seem to pinpoint these three anywhere due to lack of info... if you guys have any guesses pls let me know :> i love theorizing!!

[disabled-stuck]

HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

[juvederm]

yapping abt family hcs for ud

starting w the washingtons bc whatever . i think josh's dad is widely interpreted to be kind of a shitty dad, and honestly i do write that a lot, like i don't go against it ever. but i like the idea of the dad being cool, crafty and humorous. i should write that more Tbh . however i expanded more on the first interpretation i mentioned. i give josh's dad a lot of issues, like he's got his own problems going on (won't go into it bc im afraid of ppl looking at me sideways, not that the hcs are weird but idk) for the mom, she's kinda always been the same for me; she values academics, ethics, and wants the best for her kids. as soon as josh and the twins were able to work she was like, apply for jobs. as soon as they were able to get their permits she was like. ur getting that damn permit. she wasn't That strict but like her kids didn't have to be told twice. like they just listened bc her tone was firm enough (i hc for the mom that shes been like working all her life, she's a very determined woman)

now onto jess- i give her a step dad, her bio dad kinda dipped before jess could really remember him. jess is veryyyt much like her mom. her mom is like an energetic person, i imagine she's like short asf, had a party phase in college, and wants jess to seek out experiences that feel good to her. and she's very supportive. her step dad is a chill, mellow kind of guy too, he's not as energetic and outspoken but he's supportive too. jess also mentions in game how her parents do throw money away to replace her phones, i think her parents are like Girl how the fuck do you keep losing / breaking your phones. so they give her warnings, hence why jess dramatizes it and is like "my parents Will Kill me :[" also jess's mom is that mom that everyone loves. like even emily is like "i love that bitch". i think jess has a little sister, like a baby sister, who constantly makes messes that jess has to clean up after.

speaking of emily, both of her parents are business people. classy, no nonsense (except her dad can be kinda jokey). her mom is much like josh's where she wants emily to excel in academics, get shit done and be successful. so emily works toward that, 4.0 bitch. her parents do trust her a lot too, they're usually away on business trips, so they allow her to invite friends over, but they can also be very punishing like if they come back and the house is fucked up, emily has to clean it and she doesn't get off scott free even if she does that. but generally they're pretty lenient with her and they don't hassle her. i think emily has a younger teenage brother, who's ur average annoying gamer. he's not left off the hook tho, he still has to keep his shit together, sometimes emily helps him study

ashley has both of her parents in the picture. her dad looks like he jumped out of a 70s sitcom. like plaid shirts, giant glasses, he tries to be stern and strict abt things like curfew but sucks at enforcing it. so like cady heron's dad lfkdnsbs. id say ashleys mom js like cadys too, but ashleys mom has more whimsy to her. her mom collects and is a painter, likes sewing from time to time (she sewed ashleys first day of hs clothes) ashley has a baby brother to me, but hes not as messy as jess's little sister. ashley's parents are also aware of ashley's crush on chris, and even they're like ... Do you Liiiike him? and they tease her abt it often.

sam's parents are surprisingly stern. i like the idea of them being kinda chill and shit but idk. i often write her parents being strict with her academics and stuff, but it's mainly only wanting her to pass her classes. they're both sports people also, so they stress that sam works out and does a sport. sam to me seems like she did a lot of sports and didn't stick to one, but she's good at a lot of them too. she's good at tennis (but always lost to hannah 😭), she played for the girls soccer team, she did baseball but didn't like it as much, she tried cheer and also didn't like it (jess wanted her to join). her parents don't lack any fun tho, they often go out and take sam along. i view sam as an only child too, so it's just her and her parents at some fancy restaurant. maybe it's awkward, maybe it's not. her parents also focus on healthy foods and shit. her dad studied anatomy and physiology in college and always drops some random ass health facts

matt's parents are probably the most supportive people ever. his dad is the definition of "he's a little confused but he's got the spirit" bc his dad is so uninformed about sports. like he'll cheer for the wrong team at the game with Confidence... his dad is also crazy abt video games, he used to work at as a game journalist at one point. he has like old video game discs in this thick ass binder that holds all of them (my dad literally does this). the mom is just as nerdy as him tbh, they're like Thee couple. she's often the one arranging outings and stuff like that, and if she asks her husband to do it... that shit never happening. he usually forgets lol, but it ain't all cookies and cream like... they do want matt to succeed and get his scholarship. they ask about his grades a lot. matt also has three younger brothers, chaotic little trio they are. they're like LARPers in the backyard, always playing a new game with each other.

mike also has parents that are very business savvy. his dad is a mayor, previously worked in real estate. he's worked at a lot of construction sites for the town that they live in. he's a big name, maybe not as big as bob washington, but definitely well known . his mom is a nurse, but mainly works from home or if she's at work, she's usually in her office. mike to me has an older brother . like one that he's not really close to but when the guy visits, they have an ok time. his older brother like moved out forever ago and is 4 years older than him. mike at first seems like an only child but no. his parents are much like the others where they did stress academic success, so when mike was class president they were like so proud of him. but they can be kind of neglectful as well... often leaving for days at a time, or not being home until dark. but mike doesn't mind bc he just invites people over or throws a party when he can. his parents are also aware of how much he hops between girlfriends but they never keep up or seem interested in actually knowing the girl. besides emily. she made them get to know her bc she wasn't about to visit and have them not respect her lool

and chris . he's one that i've talked at length about so this might be nothing new. i gave chris a packed backstory so just keep that in mind. heads up for like abuse and stuff like that. his dad is an asshole full stop. and yeah the guy has his issues too. i hc his dad as this hard ass, former military sargeant. he's not in it anymore, but his experiences in it impacted him immensely. however, he's always been strict and no nonsense. he always asks chris if he's thinking about getting a girlfriend, he wants chris to be a man in charge . chris kinda doesn't want to be like his father. chris is a mommas boy to me, and speaking of his mom, she was so unlike her husband it's crazy. she was a very chill woman, very interested in gardens and anything botanical. she wanted chris to just do what he liked, but his dad would oppose that. i think chris ended up losing his mom at a young age, and could be an explanation for why he tends to shut down in emotional situations. his dad didn't cope well with losing his wife, along with being very verbally degrading, it would sometimes get physical when they'd argue. needless to say i don't give chris a good home life . his step mom is okay, she's not as mean as his dad, but it's not enough for chris to want to stay at home . chris is also the most only child i've ever seen in a video game

anyways there you have it. these are the headcanons i operate under when writing :]

[thedeafprophet]

6, 11, and 27 for the Jam household

.... im interpruting household as askin about Viola, Edith, and Mary-Anne. heck yea

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Mary-Anne:

Of course Mary-Anne considers laws immovable. Rules and regulation exist for a reason, and in order for society to be operable, they simply MUST be followed....

....that's not to say she wouldnt ever be flexible with them should the need arise, of course. And not all laws are made equal - her morals would overtake any actual laws.

Edith:

Anything is legal when the coppers aren't around. Edith doesnt care too much for rules and regulations, and will behave as she pleases, thank you very much.

The catch to this of course is food safety. Sure, she's stolen a thing or too here or there, but food safety rules? Y'dont fuck with that stuff. And if anyone tries to go against Ediths way of doing things in the kitchen, they're sure to get a earful/

Viola:

I don't think Viola weighs too much a mind to the rules and laws. Its not that she doesn't care but well - surely the rules must be there for a reason, right? Laws wouldnt be made without purpose of course?

It stands in turn that she would consider them flexible if she came across a law that just didn't make sense. Why should that be a rule?

...this is long so ill put a cut in for the rest of the questions for everyone else's sake

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Mary-Anne:

Mary-Anne would do her best to pretend to understand. Every situation has a Correct Response and A Way to do things, and, well, she's a very Fake It Till You Make it kind of person. She tends to doble down harder on her beliefs and views when met with situations she doesnt understand. Threatening Powerful Figure suddenly at Jamie's house? Yes time to offer tea and utmost politness no matter how strange this is. A Strange Man appearing in the house at late hours seemingly out of nowhere? Well how rude that is to not send word ahead of time, and to come in without an appointment! Clearly a reminder of manners is in order.

...it worked well enough for her so far?

Edith:

Edith is just * rapid blinking gif* and then... ignores it. If she's confused and doesn't understand, she's liable to think it doesn't need to be understood. That's none of her bussiness, its a confusing world afterall. If it directly impacts what she needs to do ie. being asked to create a confusing dessert dish with minimal background information ,she's liable to just wing it and hope for the best - she knows what she's doing well enough to just brute force past her confusion.

Viola:

Viola is very much the seek clarification type! If there's someone she can ask, she will ask! Even if she asked 5 minutes ago and got an explination and still doesnt understand....she'll get it eventually, right? If there's no one to ask she may get overwhelemed and just give up on the task altogether, or try her best and likely end up.... not doing it exactly right. She's trying.

27. What causes them to feel dread? 

Mary-Anne:

I think.... being out of her depth in a situation is one. Threats to the household for sure.... but I think the main thing is feeling powerless in a situation, especially to help those she cares about. So many situatons are out of her control, theres only so much she can do to help. What is she to do in situations she knows are getting worse and cant do anything to help? That looming dread hanging over the home?

This applies well to Jamie, who Mary-Anne has begrudgingly become attached to over the years - she sees some of whats been going on with them, and theres nothing she can do about it.

Edith:

I don't think dread is a common feeling for Edith. She tends to force down fear and anticipation and focus on the present. What sense is there in anticipating bad things to come? They're gonna come anyways, you just gotta be prepared to put water on the fire - just make sure its not an oil fire when you do that, mind you.

Viola:

Everything? Everything. Viola is often feeling dread, constantly anxious and worried about what the next thing will bring. What will be required, what will be messed up, will she be sent away again? She's also very worried about her sisters illness, and frequenlty is concerned about her.

...the palace and anyone related to it would also most certainly inspire dread in the poor girl.

[cdreambur]

tumblr didnt notify me!!! >:( !!!

yeeesss this this htisssss wil cant comprehend that those two are the same exact person!! How could they? One is the most annoying thing ever, 'an ulcer on ass' as one saying goes, while the other is the literal angel on Earth (he can fly too, so extra points on the angel scale)

How does Wil try to tackle the whole debacle in his head? also im going to lean on you for the worldbuilidng bits since i did not grow up with any kind of popular superhero media :sob: i only know some kind of spiderman stuff from game playthrough

Does he think about the fact that the reason for seeking out the hero are starting to shift?

most of the stuff until now, i've based on comics, but i'm also adding a bunch of my own ideas here because ✨creative freedom✨

but yeah, i think he struggles a lot. this part of his world has been turned upside down and it's hard to look at dream and superman respectively because now that he knows, he sees traces of the other persona shimmer through.

he has no idea how to feel about it, and in the end, he chooses the easy way out: focus on his job.

which is easier said than done when things start to change after a bank heist where he was held hostage and superman saved him.

dream starts being really nice to him at work, even declining big opportunities and suggesting to give them to wilbur instead.

simultaneously, superman starts appearing around him. helping him when someone tries to rob him, threatening the guys picking on his younger brother tommy, catching the man who broke into his dad's apartment.

wil doesn't realize he's falling until it's too late.

sure, he knew that his motives to see superman might have shifted. sure, he knew that he stopped being annoyed by dream months ago.

but now, finally having solid proof that dream is superman, he realizes that it goes deeper.

and wil has to decide if he wants to write and publish the most important article of his career or protect the identity and the heart of the man who stole his.

[nahalism]

What do you think of therapy, personally? If you are comfortable w answering: did you ever have one yourself and how was the experience of it? x

(sorry in advance cause this will be long)

cool so, i was made to go for the first time at around 12/13, and the experience was damaging. so every other time they tried to get me to talk to someone, go to school counselling or seek help not only did i not trust the therapist, i literally wouldnt speak or would try flip the questions on them. HOWEVER, since september 2022 - this march/april i went to a therapist voluntarily just to see if i was wrong, if i could make quicker progress with someones help, or if by having a non biased person to soundboard my thoughts against id find it helpful. heres what i found (:

what i liked:

- i wanted a therapist because i wanted a second opinion. i was around ppl making me think i was some kind of villain or person that i didnt feel i was, and so instead of cutting people out & spiralling or forgiving & overcompensating like i have a tendency to do, i went to someone unbiased to g check me. my therapist did end up giving me that assurance that i wasnt crazy, but also helped me recognise how much i doubt myself, accept bare minimum, or talk myself out of what i feel/want to accommodate/enable others. i knew i had those patterns, but i didnt know to what extent, so for people being gaslit or for those who are prone to abusers / having a warped sense of reality, therapists can really offer that objective, external reassurance that grounds you back into reality without you having to survive a nervous breakdown.

- going also checked my arrogance in thinking i was my one and only saviour. practicing leaning on someone other than me was cool and it was nice to see what that can look like. it also affirmed that i know how to communicate and share (something people at the time were trying to convince me i am not capable of doing)

what i liked less:

- a therapist is not your friend or a replacement for friendship. there were times my therapist would say shit like 'if you ever need someone to talk to im always available' cause i didnt have anyone to talk to. & dont get me wrong, it was super sweet! but .. ultimately, if there was no financial incentive that wouldnt be the case. so i feel like someone more vulnerable or less clued in than me would have heard that and got drawn in, when no matter how cool your therapist is, ultimately the relationship is a business transaction.

- from a spiritual perspective, i feel like therapists know what to tell you according to logic and science, but very few therapists are skilled healers. i dont want to go to someone who helps me rationalise what i think and feel so i can show up as a productive member of this society we live in. i want someone who challenges me to see the truth where id rather buy into soft illusions, and as such helps me show up as an authentic, elevated, expression of me. there were times i was in a session being told something that applied and was smart, but i could tell the therapist didnt even embody that themselves & forgive me for being judgemental, but because they didnt embody it, they couldnt fully understand the consequence of being about the shit they talk about. in that circumstance id rather find an elder whos embodied the lessons their trying to pass on, than someone who only feels comfortable telling me to do what society, their parents, or modern science has understood and approved. sometimes the answer thats right for you isnt a path someone can encourage you toward, you have to find it for yourself. and sometimes, the answer isnt 'self love', 'self work', or gaining a sense of individuality, which is what therapy usually points people toward. sometimes its being in nature, quitting your job, giving service to community, service to nature, service to strangers. healing can mean going off of the beaten oath and therapy doesnt always advocate for that.

- 2 be blunt as fuck, there were times i was simply spending £50 to chat to someone for an hour which is why i no longer go. :/. i personally wanted a therapist so i could gain !!strategies!! that would help me with actually asserting boundaries, & dealing with people who try to violate, in a healthy way. instead i felt like i got an hour session of me talking. maybe that works for some people, but personally i didnt need someone to talk to, vent to, confide in... so it just felt like picking scabs off of closed wounds, whilst someone nods and empathises, but cant give any real indication of how i can change my circumstances or show up differently. then after an hour of bringing up shit you've given me no indication of how to fix, i have to go back into the environment that caused the stress and try not to be triggered or pop off on people. long dayyy

sooo thats how i feel. bare in mind, i am me and i sought out therapy for very specific reasons that may not be your reasons. if you need therapy and thats your path, you need to do whats right for you. however for my needs and where im at right now, i dont feel the need for a therapist. if i came out of processing some heavy shit or was in a place where i needed help or an unbiased voice to check me or reassure me i wouldnt write it off. however i just feel like people need to be self willed and self governed in this life, & the more we tap into what we feel & follow what feels good, the more we know, understand & can walk in wisdomm

hope this wasnt offputtingly long <3 blessings

[temsikfates]

Wishlist (mobile)

Dahlia Hawthorne and Evil!Yomiel (The Manipulator)

Man, please, give me this plot. Seriously. I would looove to rp Evil Yomiel interacting with Dahlia! This is one of my dream threads asdlkflk The fact that both Yomiel and Dahlia are vengeful spirits who wants to get revenge on people responsible for their fall is great. Yomiel can easily relate to her and vice-versa. They could start by talking about their vengeful desires so Yomiel can sympathize with her. The main plot idea would be that he would be interested to know about her knowledge in the Kurain Channeling Technique so he can see Sissel (his fiancée again) while Dahlia would definitely want to use him and his powers for her own purposes. I think it would be interesting to work inside this concept, with two vengeful ghosts cooperating with each other for their own selfish reasons. This could lead to an interesting story-like roleplay and I’m honestly not sure where it could lead. They could team up and become crime buddies or they could betray each other in the end, there’s a thousand possibilities and just the thought of it makes me really excited to rp it!  If you run a Dahlia rp account or a Multimuse blog that contains her as a muse, please jump in! My IM is always open for plotting too

Post-game Jowd

I haven’t seen any Jowd blogs around here yet (well, technically, finding active Ghost Trick RP blogs are already rare) but seriously, I would love to interact with a Jowd! It would be a great chance to develop Yomiel as a character. I’d like to explore how both of them deal with their trauma and their developing friendship over the course of the years Yomiel was in prison till the day he was released. It would also be interesting to see a Jowd and FianSissel interaction! 

Lynne and Yomiel (Post-game)

So, I think it would be great for his character development if he interacted with Lynne after Sissel averts his fate. He still feels bad for taking the girl hostage and for trying to ruin her life in the previous timeline when she was actually innocent. She was the first person who showed him sympathy, even after everything he did, she still shed tears for him and forgave him. This only made him feel even more bad for her and for taking her as hostage in his desperation. He even risked his own body to save her from the falling Mino when Sissel and Missile were trying to avert his fate. So it would be interesting to see him interacting with her and seeking her forgiviness in this timeline as well.

Uncle Yomiel 

I know GT rpers around here are very rare, but if there is a Kamila, please I’d love to RP Yomiel being kind of an uncle to her, teaching her about computer stuff and being a complete nerd while also trying very hard to redeem himself to her (she doesn’t know his past deeds but he still remembers it and feels bad about it) and OMG the fluff and the awkwardness as Yomiel tries to be nice uncle to her, I need it. PLEASE.

Ghost Trick/Ace Attorney Crossover

Man, I always dreamed of a GT/AA crossover. Takumi hinted there would be one but… we got Phoenix Wright x Professor Layton instead and I lost my hopes of ever playing a GT/AA crossover so any interactions with AA characters are welcome! I don’t have any particular preference, so if you are a AA muse and you know GT, come by anytime! I’m always open for plotting too! Be it Phoenix defending Yomiel in his trial to something completely different, be my guest!

Yomiel working alongside the police to solve a case involving hackers and national security

One thing I think it would be awesome to RP is Yomiel helping the police in a case involving hackers and national security and stuff like that. I know he would be TERRIFIED at the idea of working for the government again, given how great the last time ended, but since this time it’s the police themselves asking him to work for them, at least there’s no risk for him to get wrongly arrested. Also Yomiel has a dislike for criminal hackers so this could be a motivation for him to “redeem” himself from his past crimes by helping to catch a real criminal and using his programming knowledge for something useful. Bonus if he has to work alongside CABANELA for that

Turnabout Meteorite

A possible idea for a thread that I have since I started playing AA: Phoenix ends up getting Yomiel’s case and defends him in court. 

Yomiel forming a friendship with any AA characters

Yomiel might be a reserved character but I really want him to make some friends. Like, the guy just needs a hug. Seriously. And he needs people to cheer him up and make him forget about the things he went through. I have some ideas for some characters already like Larry, Apollo or Phoenix. It would be fun seeing Yomiel having to deal with their different personalities and ideas and I just want people to bother him, like seriously. Bother Yomiel. He NEEDS it! 

Anything involving Yomiel in a different timeline/universe

Okay, I’m very used to rp him Post-game (his main timeline) but I’m all up for trying different things with him in different timelines. Be with his Manipulator self (I still want to develop him better in this blog) or with his Teenager self (I love this dorky teen) or even in his kid verse! I have lots of ideas and it would be great to change the scenario a little bit. It can also be in some of my AUs for him! I have a Star Wars AU, Western AU, and I can make even more AUs for him if I feel the need to! Just ask me about them, I love the AUs!

Sissel and Alma (and maybe even Emma) 

I’ve always headcannoed that Sissel and Alma would be great friends. That Alma would have been there for Sissel when Yomiel was arrested, helping her through with it. I love the idea of these two women being friends and gossiping about their husbands and being super supportive of each other. Alma and Sissel have been through a lot, let these women be friends and help each other out. 

Sissel being a heroine

Anything where it’s up to Sissel to save Yomiel, let her be an heroine for once instead od the damsel in distress, she needs more action. 

Ghost/Spirit Sissel

I really love the idea of spirit/ghost Sissel trying to help Yomiel. Could be in an AU where she dies near him and gets Temsik powers or is simply a ghost herself without powers, a wandering spirit. Maybe even allying herself with Alma so they can save the people they love.

[imshawbaw]

My Journey To How I Overcome My Addiction in Drugs...

Does this scenario feel familiar? Someone you love has a drug addiction. You’ve tried to help this troubled individual countless times. You’ve loaned out money, you’ve offered your couch as a place to crash, and you’ve begged and pleaded at him or her to change. Maybe you’ve even helped them detox. Perhaps you’ve bought them drugs

In my case im the one who have been using drugs. When i was still studying, as a senior high school student, it is only natural that there is a lot of work, to avoid being overwhelmed you need to focus in your work. In my case being the "kuya" in our family I have many responsibilities. At night I am a worker, in the morning I am a student and when I come home I am the one who serve as a father.

and because of the amount of responsibility I was facing, alcohol was the first thing I ran into, I met new people who introduced me to something I never expected to try cutting classes, smoking and even taking drugs.

days passed, weeks, months, I continued to use illegal drugs, I came to a point in my life where my friends avoided me and my family were surprised at my change. because of my addiction I've been neglecting my siblings, I've been fired from my job and my grades are dropping. One day my little sister talked to me she asked "kuya ano na pong ngyari satin?", and those words of my littel sister made me think "Anong ginawa ko".

It was like a big bomb that suddenly exploded , which made me realize that I had caused too much trouble not only to my family but also to the people around me. That's why for my family, I asked for help, I first approached my teacher so that he could advise me on what to do next.Because of the helpful nature of my teacher, he helped me to get in a institution that will help me to overcome my addiction.

In those days I thought about how many days I had wasted and when I reflected, I developed a new desire in life. With the help of my family and people around me, I overcame the challenges that were laid before me.

Now little by little I am trying to make up for my family. I went back to study and met new friends. I have learned a lot in this journey of my life, I have become a stronger person for my family and the people who support me.

that's why for young people who are experiencing a problem like what I went through, the only thing I can advise you is to be strong for the family and people around you. if you are having a hard time in your life, talk, never be shy to ask for help. And if ever no want to talk to you, come to God seek for guidance. I know , we all know that God will never abandoned us.

So live your life to the fullest, make more happy memories and always be responsible with your actions.

[socialc1imb]

No because literally same.

Like, dont get me wrong, Mind is a jerk and is often more malicious in his wording concerning Heart, but only when provoked. He only ever reacts, never (or at least rarely) begins the arguments. It’s Heart who was so upset that he tried to shoot Mind, who is literally described as “his wily one only friend” in Ruler of Everything. So yeah, Mind sure as hell ain’t perfect, but despite their differences they can and did get along well enough to be friends at one point.

The only reason Mind goes out of his way to be so rude in some of the songs (TME and Storm and a Spring come to mind first) is because Heart is like actively provoking him in his own songs, not to mention the fact that Heart did try to kill him at some point, so Mind is understandably bitter.

But even when Mind does start to come around, Heart continues to be a jerk? Mind, at some point, actively works to try and understand Heart’s point of view (I think Just Apathy shows this well!! Mind sounds rude because he’s blunt, but he’s trying to understand and figure out why Heart feels the way he does). Then, in TME, Mind straight up says “though i seem harsh… we each seek a life lived in the light”, basically admitting to having the same goal as Heart and wanting to reach that.

And even AFTER, in Light, Mind is the first to ask for help. From Heart, for that matter. He literally describes his struggles and then says “please help… for each step that we take the answer takes three”, yet Heart immediately goes right back to talking about how terrible Mind is (his “not ever once did you fall to your knees” comes off as very Rude? Idk it has the vibes of blatantly choosing to hate someone despite their desperation to win you over). It’s like Heart doesn’t even want to try.

And again, that doesnt excuse how Mind or Soul act; They all suck, in the most respectful way possible. It’s just that compared to them, Heart really does seem to be the one who tends to be the issue.

Anyways im really normal and sane about this album and have completely normal thoughts.

I mean this in the most lighthearted and i am just being silly way ever but the events of CCCC literally would not have happened if Heart wasn’t a straight up asshole <3

Heart is the problem propaganda 🥰🥰🥰

[starbuckie]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

pairing(s): college!peter parker x reader, dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!sam wilson x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader

words: 8.1k words

warnings: DARK!FIC, SMUT 18+ (unprotected sex, foursome turned fivesome, gangbang, non-con/dub-con, daddy kink, oral M and F-receiving, spit kink, degredation kink, praise kink, creampie), age-gap (reader is in her early 20s), cheating, angst, there’s like zero fluff

summary: peter should’ve made it back to the tower for date night on time, or maybe just before he found his girlfriend being fucked by three other superheroes.

a/n: eee my first dark fic! im so so happy with the way this turned out, and even though it was a pain in my ass for nearly three months, im so hapy to share it with y’all. this idea was brought up by an anon from @mypoisonedvine’s saturday sleepover a few months back, but i switched up tony and sam bc i didn’t like the tony and peter stuff. hopefully my smut has improved from the first time i wrote it in january, and just a reminder that in no way, shape, or form do i condone rape of any kind. there’s a large difference from the page and the real world. i try to put all tw’s in the tags and warnings, but if there was something i missed please tell me. thank you to my lovely bestie @mermaidxatxheart for beta-reading(i have no fucking clue what i’d do without your help). feel free to leave a comment or two and reblog, but don’t repost anywhere or i will hunt down your ass. thank you again and please please enjoy <3

main masterlist || mcu masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck Y/N as soon as he saw her.

It started with a faint mention, something Tony had thrown around along the lines of, “Parker’s bringing his girl down here tomorrow, don’t be an asshole”. He didn’t give a damn what Tony said or how he acted around Peter’s girl. Years of being thrown between gruesome mind-wiping and being half-dead, asleep in a freezer would do that to a man.

So the next day when Peter brought his girlfriend in, he was scratching his ass like a fucking ape and downing a beer with a messy bun at the nape of his neck, until he actually saw her. Neat hair, even neater laces with a sweet smile but a body that could kill. Didn’t matter that she was bundled under Parker’s hoodie and a pair of jeans- he could always admire a pretty dame, but Bucky could see that she was beyond that. It was as if God had intentionally made the one being, the one ethereal creature beautiful and angelic enough to be a sin away from him, so that he couldn’t touch her. Because she was young, and in her twenties, and that shouldn’t have even been the first two things that popped up in his mind because she was also Peter’s girlfriend.

But then she had the audacity to stick her hand out, a shy grin and twinkle in her eyes as she gave her name. It sounded so pretty rolling off of her tongue, and he wondered what it would sound like while he groaned it into her cunt.

Y/N. 

So, yeah, maybe Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck her as soon as he met her, but it was pretty damn close after.

-

Steve Rogers was one of very few men who said they had the pleasure of banging nearly every woman on the north side of Manhattan. Bucky indulged in the fact that the man who had once been too shy to do so much as meet a gal’s gaze was now “a dollar whore”, but he was more than happy to keep that title if it meant he could continue to get off in the nearest woman’s mouth everyday. 

Every time he walked down the streets of New York with just a simple ball cap and jeans, he could feel stares on his back from what seemed like miles away, girls on every street corner just waiting for him to take her into the nearest public bathroom and fuck them dirty. CEOs, baristas, girls fresh out of getting master’s degrees with stars in their eyes and big dreams, until he shattered them by making them gag on his cock and scream his name into bedsheets. Or tile floors. He didn’t care as long as they were screaming. The girls of this century were just too delectable to turn down. He didn’t discriminate. His dick had been in women of every height, stature, hair color, and he had quite the variety throwing themselves at him as well.

And then Tony ruined it all and sat him down with a simple explanation that the image of Captain America was being tainted with disturbing stories of girls being fucked in the ass and thrown on their knees in dirty bathroom stalls. The blond was beyond pissed when the billionaire told him to stop dicking around, but he couldn’t do anything else if he wanted to keep his title and job. In a new century, even if he’d had a few years to adjust, he was still absolutely oblivious when it came to anything outside of aliens and sex. There was nothing left for him outside of being an Avenger, so reluctantly he agreed to keep his number of conquests to a minimum, and most definitely inside of the tower rather than out on the street.

However, inside of the tower seemed to be no problem at all when Peter brought his girlfriend over, all smiles and straight A’s, and that’s when Steve realized that he’d yet to fuck a bright, little college student. He could see himself stripping her from the innocence in her eyes, loosening up her pussy with his thick cock against the wall in his room.

Surely Tony couldn’t reprimand him for spending a little time trying to bond with Peter’s new girl, right?

-

Sam Wilson was a simple man. He had a job, a well-paid one at that, somewhere to live, a girlfriend, or a woman to keep him company, that’s for sure- but for once in his life he was seeking out something other than missions, something that would keep him busy when he was feeling bored, something like-

Pleasure, and he knew that he’d finally found what he was looking for the moment Peter brought his girlfriend through the elevator doors on the fifty-sixth level of the Avengers tower. She’d shaken his hand so daintily and spoke so politely that if he were to see her without any backstory, he’d think she was another innocent, dim-witted college student, breaking her bank account every Saturday morning and naively believing that her relationship would last longer than a few months. But by the things Parker had told him, she was much more than that.

Was it shitty of Peter to tell his teammates, the people he worked with, how Y/N was in bed? By the majority’s vote, probably, and by Sam’s strict conduct of his own morals, definitely, but when Peter’s girl looked like that and he was so incredibly bored with his routine? 

Well, fuck, Sam had never been happier that the Spider-kid had told everyone how his girl gave head.

Peter brought his girlfriend in daily after that, and every one of her visits, she grew less shy and more friendly, and the Falcon saw each of his friends gape at her growing comfortability with a wolfish demeanor. It started with the water incident with Steve in the kitchen, where he so clearly spilled water on her already thin, white camisole with intention. Sam couldn’t say he was upset though, after all Steve had offered him and the rest of the Avengers quite a show when he tried to clean up her shirt, taking his sweet, sweet time to fondle her tits as subtly as he could, his eyes staring at her pebbled nipples poking through the material. He could see Bucky hiding his boner under his cereal bowl on the couch that day. 

Then of course, he’d been no better than America’s sweetheart himself when he greeted Y/N with a hug that in hindsight, was a little too enthusiastic. His large hands squeezed into the pockets of her back pocket, and if the college student found anything weird with it, she didn’t say so, but Sam graciously palmed the round globes of her ass in his hands, feeling the muscle clench under his fingers. Oh, how he’d never hugged someone that tight ever before in his life. Maybe he would’ve gotten a bit further than squeezing her ass had it not been for his own girlfriend standing behind him, ready to introduce herself to Y/N.

Bucky, well, Sam could admit that Bucky had the most guts out of all of them. Though the super-soldier was normally well-reserved and polite, the dark glint in his eyes the day he met Y/N let him in on the secret that he had a much dirtier mind than most thought. It had been movie night that time, and he barely even tried to cover up how much he wanted the girl, his hands resting all over her as they watched Inception. Hardly a movie to get so riled up over, yet Bucky’s hand still inched its way up her thigh, his rough fingers gently carressing the flesh until they started to lightly trace the apex of her thighs. 

If she noticed anything then, she didn’t comment on it, doe-like eyes just marvelling at the screen in great intrigue. It was only when Peter’s arms wrapped around her a bit tighter did she scooch away from Bucky’s touch, with a small apology and shy grin. 

That only made his dick harder.

On the other side of Bucky, his super-soldier counterpart tapped his knee gently, forcing their blue eyes to meet each other. No words had to be said between the two, three men when they looked over to Sam, because they all recognized that look they saw in each other's eyes; predatory, dark, nearly voracious in the way they all wanted to be balls deep inside of Y/N.

And they would get there. No matter how long it took, they knew that the ultimate prize of tearing their prey apart would be more than worth the wait.

-

“Hey, babe, I’m gonna be a little late. Ned and I got stuck back in the lab, so we’re gonna need to stay until eight or nine. Can you make it to the tower by yourself alright?”

Peter’s concerned voice made Y/N smile gently as she trudged along the rainy streets of New York. He always loved to worry about her, especially when it was dark and gloomy out, but she could handle herself pretty okay. By pretty okay, of course meant she could kick ass like no other twenty-something year-old, but she wasn’t one to brag. Y/N readjusted the Kate Spade purse on her shoulder with her right hand, attempting to keep her umbrella over her head with the other. “I’ll be fine, Pete, just go finish up and get back to me. I’m gonna be waiting in your room at the tower before you go off on that mission this weekend.”

A small sigh came through the speaker, “Okay, I’ll try to get back to you soon. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Pete.” 

“Oh,” she could hear the shy but no less mischievous smile that was taking over his face, “I left you a little present on the bed, make sure you open it before I get back.”

Y/N’s face heated at the implication. “Peter Parker, you dirty little-” He ended the call with a laugh, and she huffed out a small chuckle at his childish antics.

The walk to the Avengers tower would have been nice, had it not been for the downfall of rain, making everything mushy, socks being absolutely soaked through her sneakers by the time she arrived. The receptionist at the front desk, Jenny, if Y/N remembered correctly, stared at her a little oddly, probably not expecting to see the young college girl in such a state of disorder, but it didn’t affect her at all. She confidently strutted up to the elevator, pressing in the floor number where all the rooms were located. Y/N scrolled through her Twitter feed on her phone while classic rock blared through the elevator with the constant shuffling of people moving in and out. Seven minutes and thirty-two seconds later she was sprinting down the halls with soggy shoes and damp hair, her cold body screaming for warmth.

Peter’s room was the farthest down the hall, and the room was fairly empty. He rarely stayed at his room in the tower, preferring to stay with his Aunt May or keep Y/N company in Brooklyn. When she entered the room, she saw a plain white shirt and a pair of socks strewn upon the carpeted floor, but what really caught her eye was the red box wrapped in a pink bow on the bed. Deciding it would add more suspense if she opened it later, she quickly hopped in the shower, letting the hot water warm her freezing, rigid muscles under the spray. 

Peter didn’t have all the products she’d usually use before she knew they were going to have sex, so she had to make do with the half-used bar of Irish Spring and his small travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner, promising the fresh, breezy smell of citrus and mint. It was a quick process; two squeezes of shampoo, shaving with the green soap as best as she could without cutting herself, one squeeze of conditioner. A fuzzy towel sat waiting for Y/N on the rack, with the Spiderman symbol as a prank gift from her to her lovely boyfriend, and without a second to let the heat leave her damp skin, she wrapped herself in it, quickly hopping out to the bedroom again.

The lingerie she set out on the bed was a deep set burgundy color, with lace decorating the delicate corset and the trim of the satin panties. The packaging really did not do it justice. Y/N grinned at the new set, one that she knew would happily be torn from her body later. A shiver ran through her as she let the cold air fall over her skin, carefully slipping the lingerie on. It was a damn shame, really; the set was quite nice, and she reminded herself to buy more of the nicely suiting color for their nights together. 

Click.

Y/N’s heart thumped with anticipation as she heard the door open and she took a quick moment to ready herself. Hair in perfect style, legs stretched along the length of the bed to make herself look as seductive as possible, a small smirk thrown on her pouty lips.

But in the darkened room, it wasn’t Peter’s shadow that appeared. Three men, three tall, bulkier men’s shadows appeared at the foot of the bed, and horror washed over her as she realized who they were. “Goddamn, dolly, I’ve imagined what you would’ve looked like under those sweaters, but this is much sweeter than I expected.”

The sinister face of Bucky Barnes came into her view, just a sliver of moonlight lighting up his pale skin. His eyes raked over Y/N’s uncovered skin, and goosebumps appeared as she tried to cover herself up under his predatory gaze.

“W-what are you doing here?” She whispered worriedly. Sam and Steve flanked the bed on either side of her, plastered sickly sweet smiles on their faces, providing her with a false sense of security that made her heart scream in fear. Though she wasn't making any noise, her lungs felt like they were going to give out, her throat closing up like an allergic reaction. 

Her head whipped every which way in robotic movement, her brain seeming to fail her as she scanned the room for an exit. Several moments of shortened breaths, cold air chilling her body, before she came out of her freezing shock to realization.

“Why are you here? Please, get out, just g-get out!”

A calloused hand pushed away Y/N’s left arm that covered her tits, and Steve groaned at the sight of her pebbled nipples. “God, baby, they’re as pretty as I thought they’d be. Been trying to feel them up all week, but you knew that, didn’t you?”

Saturday the week before at lunch when he’d spilled water over chest and tried to clean her up. Sam’s friendly hug that became a bit less friendly when his hands slipped into the back pockets of her jeans. The movie night on Monday when Bucky’s hand caressed her thigh a little too close to her core. All of their touches began to make more sense, and her eyes filled with tears at the realization. 

“Please,” she begged, tears blocking her vision, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Pete, but please just go.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Steve asked. He grasped her chin roughly, his face close enough to hers so that she could feel his fiery breath on her lips. “We’re not leaving, sweetheart. You’re gonna let all three of us play with your pretty little body, and you’re gonna make the prettiest sounds for us, alright?”

Y/N shook her head violently, too afraid to make noise, but also bold enough to make one last attempt at freedom. The hand that held her chin quickly moved to slap her cheek, and she hated the way the sting made heat stir in her lower belly. She tried to shy away from their touch again, but Bucky’s face simply held the same smirk as he trailed his vibranium fingers up and down her leg. 

“Oh, come on, Y/N, don’t act all shy now. Peter has been telling us how good you’ve been to him and don’t think he hasn’t told us about your little childhood crush on little ol’ me. Been wanting to fuck you ever since.” Bucky’s hand quickly left her body, instead moving to palm over the bulge in his pants. “Fuck, sweetheart, got me real hard just thinking ‘bout your pussy swallowing my cock. Bet you’re gonna be a sweet, obedient girl for me, right?”

Fire started to course through Y/N’s veins, and with all the power she tried to dampen it down with, it seemed to push through her body that much more dangerously. She despised the fact that she could feel herself growing wet for the three older men, but God, she had never felt the need to be filled up as badly as she did in that moment.

“You’re a bit of a slut, don’t you think?” Sam mocked. He kneeled on her right, his eyes fixated on her panty-clad pussy, a wet patch already forming on the soft satin. It really didn’t help that three of her teen celebrity crushes were eyeing her nearly naked body like a piece of meat. “I mean, look at you, already growing wet and needy for three cocks. Is that what you want, honey? Parker not treating you good enough?”

She hesitated. Goosebumps rose across her skin at the sinister tone of his voice, like he already knew it was true. And it was true and she hated that Sam was right, but as amazing as Peter was a boyfriend, it was clear from the vibrator hiding in his apartment’s bathroom that he was not amazing in the sheets. Every time, she held hope that it would be better, that she would finally get to stop faking an orgasm before he rolled out of the bed with a filled up condom, but she knew deep down inside of her that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. Y/N forced herself to nod weakly at Sam’s questions, and Bucky chuckled. “Oh, you poor dolly, we’re gonna have so much fun with you. Treat you better than that little boy ever could.”

All it took was a whimper, a nearly audible, deadly silent whimper that managed to squeak its way past Y/N’s throat, and the three men took it as permission to ravage her body however they pleased.

Steve made quick work of his pants as Sam lifted her chin to kiss him, his tongue hot and heavy against her mouth, coaxing her lips open. The sound of belt buckles hitting the floor shamefully turned on Y/N even more. Panic coursed through her senses, her mind wanting to scream for them to stop, but her body knew her too well as she felt a wave of slick run down her thighs. Cold metal digits slipped under the waistband of her panties, moving to her wet folds, and she whimpered into Sam’s mouth at the touch. 

“You look so nice, baby, so pretty all laid out for us like this.” Bucky’s hands pulled down her panties as Steve pinched her peaked nipple through the lace, laying lavish, open-mouthed kisses down her torso. The cool air hit her pussy when Bucky’s hands pulled her legs wide open, fully exposed to the three men ready to use her against her will. “Knew you’d be so wet for us, sweetheart, just look at you. Dripping all for your daddies,” Steve murmured against her skin.

Hot breath fanned over her cunt before they rolled her over on her stomach, someone’s hands forcing her up onto her knees with her face smashed into the cotton pillows. She could feel two rough human hands pulling her ass cheeks apart, spreading her ever wider for their view. “Would you look at that, boys, look how fucking hot she is for us.”

Sam’s thick finger ran through her folds, the calloused pad of his finger just teasing her clit before landing a harsh smack to the inside of her thigh. Her moan was muffled through the mattress and she prayed they wouldn’t hear how being treated like whore made her wet like nothing else. 

Hot slick dripped down her thighs, a pool of it staining the pristine sheets by each knee. It was quite a sight, Steve, kneeled by the bed as his face hovered next to her ear, whispering filthy things into her ear as Bucky stroked his hard, leaking cock right next to him. Sam’s lips were making their way up the inside of her right thigh, cracked skin gliding across her sticky flesh. “Oh, baby,” he purred, “you smell so good. Bet you taste even better, don’t you, little girl?”

His tongue reached the apex of her thighs, finally licking a stipe up her center with no warning. Y/N sobbed into the comforter below her, mascara stained tears marking up her face. Two fingers edged their way between the bed and her face, forcing her head upwards and arching her back. Steve’s face was caught in a dirty smirk above hers, lip pulled taut between his teeth, until he saw the tears trailing down her face. “Oh, sweetheart, you look so desperate like this.” His fingers traced her smeared lip gloss around her lips, before opening her lips harshly. “Open up, you dumb baby.”

Y/N forced her jaw open wider, just enough to watch a string of Steve’s saliva drip into her mouth. The thick spit pooled on her tongue and she tried hard not to grimace in front of him, in hopes that he wouldn’t make her- 

“Swallow it, sweetheart.” He saw the hesitation in her eyes, how her lower lip trembled at his words, but he just laughed at her. “Now.”

The warm saliva slid down her tongue and more black tears ran down her face as she obliged his orders, finally gulping it and cringing at the taste. Steve loved the way her face screwed up in displeasure, how she still had the audacity to pretend she hated what they were doing though she was moaning and whimpering with Sam’s tongue attacking her entrance.

“What do you want, sweetheart? We might give it to you as long as you use your words.” Bucky taunted lightly.

Y/N stared up at the brunette, staring menacingly down at her with his cock in hand. “Please,” she whimpered.

The three found it woeful, the way she could barely get a full sentence out as Sam went to town with his skilled tongue, but even with that onslaught, a simple please wasn’t enough for them.

“Please what, honey,” Sam moaned from between her legs, “you gotta use your big words or we’ll never know what you want from us.”

Steve and Bucky nodded in fake-agreement even though they all knew exactly what she wanted and where. 

“I don’t-” her widened eyes glanced into Steve’s, blown-out and teary. “I don’t want anything, not from you.” She lied through her teeth harshly.

Sam removed his head from between her thighs and Y/N immediately whined at the loss of contact almost hilariously. “You don’t want anything, little girl?” 

The air felt static, every hair on her neck rising in the pressured silence. The angel and the devil clawed at her heart, each trying to show her what was right. And she wanted to sin, God knew that she would love nothing more than to let that little greedy part of her take over, but she’d already cheated on Peter and that damn good part of her conscience stole the wheels of her brain.

Slowly and shamefully, she shook her head, though the downright dirty monster inside of her wanted the men to ignore her words and keep assaulting her body. 

“That’s a shame, baby, I thought we were having fun.” Sam sighed. He met Bucky’s gaze on the side, and though they seemed to be in resignation with her wishes, their eyes twinkled devilishly. He positioned his body over Y/N’s kneeled over form, his bare chest glued to her sweating back as his hands ran up the sides of her ribcage and to her front, just barely grazing over her sensitive nipples. “You mean, you don’t want me to touch you here?”

He pinched the darkened buds and she had to use every ounce of self-restraint to not collapse at the sensation. His calloused hands moved back even further, tracing down to the stretch of skin just above her mound, swiping a finger across the skin delicately. “How about here? Or even,” he brought three fingers around her body, over her ass, and into her glistening cunt again, just rubbing along her entrance, not daring to go further in. Y/N couldn’t hold in her reaction to his prodding anymore, his teasing chipping away all of her dignity and pride in a few simple touches. 

“Yes, please, please, use your fingers,” she blurted against her will. Where shame should have washed over her, there was only lust, raging red and coursing through her body so forcefully that she felt braindead. “Put your fingers in me, daddy, please.”

The pet name rolled off of her tongue so easily and she was barely ashamed of how it made her feel. The name especially shocked the three men, who smiled even wider with their cocks harder than before at the little slip up. “That was all you had to say, dolly, gonna have your daddies make you feel real good,” Bucky laughed.

Sam finally plunged his thick fingers knuckle-deep into her cunt as Steve’s mouth captured hers, effectively swallowing her scream with ferocity. The long digits scissored and swirled inside of her, pressing against new unexplored areas that she’d never even gotten to with her own fingers. White dots danced along the front line of her vision as teeth clashed against hers and though it’d been mere minutes she already knew she was close and the men did as well.

“I can feel you clamping around my fingers, honey,” Sam taunted. His lips were moving sinfully around her ass, planting sloppy kisses and drooling all over her skin while he fingered her deep. “Are you gonna come soon, baby?”

“Yes, daddy, I’m so- fuck,” Y/N panted into Steve’s mouth, “m’ so c-close.” The blond bit her tongue hard enough for her to taste blood and she yelped as she heard Sam and Bucky laugh. 

“Watch your language, dolly,” Bucky sneered from the side of the bed. His hand was rapidly moving around his cock, corkscrew motions edging him towards the brink of pleasure. 

“Little girls like you don’t get to use big swear words,” Sam’s face was still buried between her legs, his soaked fingers pulling out of her cunt only to rub at her little pearl of nerves in circles. His tongue still lapped at her dripping entrance and he could feel her tight hole start to pulse as her breathing picked up. “Oh, baby, you’re getting close, aren’t you?”

Y/N was hesitant to answer at first, the sweat on her body seeming to cool immediately in fear of what would happen if she messed up. But after five seconds Steve stopped kissing her, gripping her chin and staring into her eyes deeply. He looked as debauched as she felt, with his rosy lips swollen with spit and cheeks tinged with pink. “Are you gonna answer daddy, sweetheart?”

That knocked her into shape real fast.

“Yes, daddy, I’m so close. P-please let me come,” she whimpered. The whine in her voice pleased the two men, and Steve went back to exploring her mouth before she felt something poking against her asshole.

“Gonna let daddy put his cock in you, little girl?” Sam asked gently. His words had panic coursing through her system, a chilling realization like water being poured on her head and she began to wiggle around, trying to free Sam’s hand from her hip. Her arms weakly pushed at Steve’s chest, trying to push him as far away as he could, but the men only laughed at her flailing limbs. Y/N wanted to scream no to them, and despite her contrasting love-hate relationship with Sam’s fingers inside her cunt she knew it was time to go. It was laughable how much she would continue to say that to herself for the rest of the night. 

But Sam managed to sense her panic, knowing exactly what the issue was before harshly spanking her and effectively stopping her struggle. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t come inside of you. I’m not risking knocking up a whore with my kids, I’ve got more dignity than that.”

He led the leaking tip of his dick down her crack, rubbing it along her slick entrance before pushing in with a groan. “Oh my fucking God, that is so hot.” Bucky admonished from the side. “Gotta get in on that soon.”

Steve chuckled against Y/N’s lips, pulling away with a strand of saliva connecting them. He adjusted himself up so his dick was centimeters from her face, a knee propped up on the bed for balance. “Gotta wait your turn, Buck, we all want a piece of her.” He noticed the way Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his cock, the red mushroom head smeared with precome along the slit, nearly purplish veins standing out prominently on his shaft. Yeah, he couldn’t even deny that he was big because he already knew how many girls had dropped down on their knees for him. “Go ahead, sweetheart, open up those pretty lips for me.”

Almost too excitedly, she dropped her jaw, allowing him to slide his cock into the silky warmth of her mouth. As his hips started to thrust into her mouth, Sam’s started to do the same into her cunt. Both men moaned in tandem with their movements as Y/N’s worries faded away to the back of her mind as they stuffed her to the brim.

“You can come now, baby,” Sam nearly ordered, “go and cream on daddy’s cock- fuck, I know you’ve been waiting.”

It was a harsh bump of his head against her G-spot that sent her over the edge, walls clamping down with ferocity and milking him for all she was worth. Y/N reeled in the sunlight infested warmth that coursed through her body as she finally let go, whining around Steve’s dick as he continued to abuse her throat with long, deep thrusts. 

Bucky was still holding his orgasm off, fondling with his tight, heavy sac while his dick remained a painfully hard mess, glistening with precome. “I’m so glad I got to see you come, dolly, look so fucking pretty when you do.”

She couldn’t deny the little skip of her heart at the praise, just a few simple words that made her feel like a good little girl. But no, God-fucking no, she wasn’t supposed to let them make her feel this way. Guilt washed away that warmth in her chest just as quickly, knowing that her boyfriend was just waiting to come back to see her, finishing up his studies so that they could live their lives out together after college while she was getting her pussy and mouth absolutely wrecked by his co-workers. 

As soon as Y/N got her brain thinking straight again, Sam started moving inside of her again and she garbled out a strangled cry. “If you thought we were done here, baby,” Sam laughed, “you’ve got a lot left ahead of you.”

“We’re not leaving until all of us have come, brat.” Steve’s palm gripped the back of her skull roughly, pushing her head so far down on his dick that her nose was squished against his abdomen. “Greedy little bitch.”

Both men started to thrust into her again, and just like that she was back to being absolutely lost in desire and lust like the bitch in heat she was until there was a sudden shift in the air. So much that the sweat on her body began to cool her skin, Sam’s hands still gripping her hips so tightly she knew they’d leave marks that she would have to hide when she wore her favorite low-cut shorts. 

Bucky’s eyes seemed to drift from her tits moving with each movement of her hips, checking behind the door as if there were something lurking there, but she was too afraid to see for herself. If she stopped she would get spanked, and they’d probably prolong her second orgasm even further, and her pussy couldn’t handle any more subtle teasing.  

“Hey there, Parker, why don’t come on out here?”

But that, that was what made the hairs on Y/N’s neck rose, dread filling her to the fullest as she realized the implications of Sam’s words.

Peter had seen everything. Peter, her boyfriend, had seen three of his co-workers, three men who she barely knew, fuck her deep into his mattress. Peter, her boyfriend, had watched her get fucked into his mattress, without trying to stop them whatsoever.

She couldn’t tell if it was the guilt of cheating on her boyfriend or the freezing realization that he hadn’t done anything to stop the three men that hurt more. 

Yet Peter still walked from behind the door, dressed in a NYU hoodie and a pair of khakis slung low on his hips, just drawing attention to the sizable bulge that stretched out his zipper. His umber eyes, normally full of so much joy and love, were possessed by the same lust and darkness as the three men, as much as he tried to hide it behind a shyer facade. 

His eyes were trained on the tightness of how Y/N’s pussy was gripping Sam, her lips glossed over with come and spit wrapped around Steve’s dick. The girl stopped in her movements, her eyes no longer full of tears for just being gagged, but as soon as her mouth came to a halt around the base of his cock, the blond slapped her across the face. A sharp crack echoed around the room and though she couldn’t see him, she heard Bucky’s feral growl of pleasure at the whorish treatment she was receiving. 

“Didn’t say you could fucking stop, sweetheart, keep working on daddy’s cock.” No more words needed to be said as Steve gripped her hair once more, forcing himself farther back into her throat to the point where she couldn’t breathe. Sam’s thrusts were quickening, closer and closer to release as the sounds of the girl struggling to breath made his balls tighten. 

“Fucking shit, baby, you feel yourself squeezing my dick? I bet you like teasing daddy like that, don’t you?” One of his hands were brought down on her ass in a quick smack that resonated with Bucky, who was staving off his orgasm for something much sweeter than his hand. She was moaning raucously around the dick stuffed in her mouth, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up every nerve in Steve’s body as he came with the tip of his dick nearly being swallowed by Y/N’s throat. There was barely any time for her to fully down the thick come in her mouth before Sam was threatening to orgasm. “I’m gonna come so soon but you better fucking not, little girl, you hear me? Gotta let your daddy come before you, you ungrateful little bitch- oh.”

It was a really fucking close call, Sam’s dick pulling out of her with one quick movement before spilling pearly ropes of come onto Y/N’s spine. A high whine escaped her mouth, clit throbbing as she was so, so close to coming, and she was too far into her crazed pleasure to realize that she was letting three older men, men who fought to defend the universe from evil, use her as an over-glorified fleshlight. 

She couldn’t really blame them for calling her a cockdrunk whore. 

Bucky sauntered over to the bed, eyes trained on the pool of come centered around the base of her spine before flipping her over onto her back with his large hands and shoving three vibranium fingers back into her hole. She gasped and held onto his forearm as he continued to fingerfuck her to her second orgasm, eyes screwed shut in a delirious haze of contentment for being filled with at least something again. 

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, please-” Steve slapped her along the face, correcting her words immediately. “Daddy, daddy, please let me come.”

Bucky chuckled, tweaking one of her nipples with his flesh hand as he hovered over her face. “I don’t know, dolly, you’ve been a little naughty, callin’ me the wrong name, not listening to Stevie’s orders- don’t think you deserve to get what you want.”

A muffled whimper escaped her swollen lips, and he sighed in surrender. “Okay, dollface, go ahead and come on my fingers. Let me see how you wet ‘em up real good.”

Y/N’s hips bucked into his metal digits with finality, come leaking out of her cunt and soaking the sheets below her. Her sweat-glazed skin shone even against the darkening sky, and all Bucky could do was chuckle at how her chest rose quickly as she tried to catch her breath. He thought about teasing her clit again, just circling around the little bud of nerves to get a rise out of her, but he decided against it. Sam probably had better plans for her anyway. 

On the other hand, Y/N’s orgasm was starting to wear off as she noticed the hardened stare from the edge of the room. Her boyfriend.

“Peter, I…” Y/N made eye contact with him, suddenly noticing how mousy he looked in his own bedroom. 

“I nearly forgot you were here, Parker,” Sam smirked darkly. “Why don’t you come over here and fuck your little whore. I’m feeling a little generous today.”

Steve and Bucky nodded with the same infuriating smugness as Sam. The brunette boy opened his mouth to object to the degrading statement, but when he met his girlfriend’s eyes nothing needed to be said. There was no escaping this. Nothing he said mattered to the three older men, because really they had already gotten everything they wanted right in front of their disgusting, perverted eyes. 

He unbuckled his belt, letting the weight of it drop his khakis to the floor. Maybe if he’d known he would be forced into join a fivesome later that night he’d have picked any other boxers but the Ducktales one, but no one seemed to say a word about them, rather focusing on what they were failing to conceal. 

Peter’s cock had always been admirable to Y/N by its length and God, definitely its thickness. Curved upwards towards his abdomen with a vein running along the left side up to the bulbous head, it was definitely more than average. It was really just a shame he didn’t know how to use it well enough.

His shirt was pulled over his head just as quickly, and if Y/N knew any better she would say that he was excited to get to fuck her in front of the three men. He placed himself in between Y/N’s parted legs, standing in the same position as he had so many times before.

But when Y/N cried out in pain and pleasure as he slid into her, Peter knew that this time, it was different. This time three men, men that he used to trust with his life, stood on either side of him and his girlfriend and jerked their hands up and down their cocks as they watched her get fucked relentlessly. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t romantic, but he couldn’t really think when his thick cock was stuffed inside of her stimulated pussy, juices and come leaking out of her abused sex. 

“Go faster, Parker,” Steve instructed, his face contorted in pure pleasure. The pace of Peter’s thrusts sped up, and he threw Y/N’s ankles over his shoulders, hitting deeper inside of her, with the sound of her sobs only turning them all on more. “Oh, right there, shit, shit, shit-”

Steve came first, a low groan escaping his lips as streams of come landed on her tits, still bouncing with every movement of Peter’s hips. 

“Open up,” Sam gritted through his teeth, and Y/N obediently opened her mouth to let his bitter come coat the inside of her throat, some of it landing on her face and neck. The string of curses he let out made Peter thrust even faster into her, and he hated, absolutely despised the way it turned him on to see the three men use his girlfriend to their pleasure. But soon enough a hand pushed against his chest away from Y/N and he reluctantly pulled out.

“Move aside, kid,” Bucky instructed, “Wanna come inside of her.”

As he lined his gigantic cock up with her entrance, her eyes widened with fear. “No, please, I didn’t take my pills, I can’t- I won’t, please not inside-”

“Shut the fuck up, you slut.” Bucky’s fingers came to slap her clit harshly, and she cried out in pain. “You’re gonna be quiet and let me come wherever I damn want, right?”

He punctuated his last word as he thrust inside her, filling her up to the hilt with his girth. She was too drunk on the feeling of her cunt being filled up to argue again. It was painful, extremely so, even though two different cocks had been inside her overstimulated pussy already and Bucky stretched her out wide, his cock thicker with veins to hit every pleasure point. With her legs tossed around his tapered torso, he slid out until his very tip was left in her, then slammed back in with a small moan. The head of his cock relentlessly pounded into her cervix in a nearly soundless tempo and all Y/N could hear were her own gasps of pleasure, jaw-dropping moans that made drool slide back down her throat in her laid down position.

She turned her head to the side, and though her vision was bleary through the tears, she could see Sam and Steve watching Bucky fuck her while Peter, her boyfriend, her sweet, sweet boyfriend, was caught up fucking his hand to the sound of Bucky’s balls slapping against her ass. 

“Fuck, ‘m not gonna last much longer, dollface.” Bucky gasped. “You gonna come soon? You’re gonna come for daddy one more time. I think you’ve got a third one in you, you little fucking slut.”

“Shit, shit, daddy, please ‘m almost there,” Y/N wailed absentmindedly. A thumb came down to circle her clit quickly and she felt the coil in her stomach grow tighter and tighter, until she finally let out a high whine, finding her release as Bucky’s cock pulsed inside of her, ready to come just as easily as her. Her pussy clenched around his cock as she rode out her orgasm, fingers grasping at the sheets in order to find some sort of grounding. His come painted her walls white, and Bucky could’ve sworn there was no better feeling than feeling his blood warm in every vein as he finally let go. With stunted groans, his hips slowed its rhythm, lost in watching how his cock disappear into Y/N’s pussy, her slick juices coating his dick each time he pulled out. 

“Ah, fuck, dolly, you did so good for me. Pussy tight as a fuckin’ vice.” Bucky hugged her limp body close to his sweaty chest, letting his dick soften inside of her for a good few moments before pulling out. He tossed Y/N back onto the bed below him, barely even caring to clean the come dripping down her ribcage and out of her cunt before grabbing his boxers from the cabinet next to the bed. 

Steve was already buttoning his jeans up, checking the notifications on his phone before shoving it back into his pocket. The blond seemed to have better things to do so soon after, rushing his way to the door before pausing where Y/N laid to watch come drip out of her pussy. One more time he pushed Bucky’s come inside of her abused entrance, watching as it oozed out from behind his digits. “Look at you, fucking full of of his come. Such a goddamn whore,” he muttered under his breath.

Those were the last words he said to her before patting Bucky on the shoulder and leading him out of the opened door. 

Maybe Sam was a bit more kind, or affectionate at least. He was already dressed but visibly hard again beneath the thick denim of his pants, and he made sure Y/N knew it, taking her left hand and placing it over his dick. “You still got that effect on me, honey, even when you’re all fucked out like this.” He dragged his fingers through the thick ribbons of come that coated her chest, bringing them up to her mouth so she could taste. Even though she was more than exhausted, she wrapped her tongue around the two fingers that were pushed past her swollen lips, sucking them clean with a tired vengeance. Satisfied with her work, he kissed her chin one more time before leaving without so much as another word, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Click.

It ended exactly the way it started, the lock jostling into the doorknob just as easily as the high of Y/N’s final orgasm slipped away.

Stifling silence suffocated the room around them. Peter refused to meet her eyes, just as much as hers did his. She laid motionless on the bed with him standing at the foot, his dick soft and if she narrowed her bleary eyes just a bit, she could see how his knees were shaking. Neither of them were able to say anything, losing the ability to converse as soon as the three men left the room.

“Peter,” her voice was throaty after the rough fucking she took, “C-can you please get me a drink?”

The brown-haired boy looked down to meet her face, and she could finally see the reason that he had hid it from her. His eyes were red and bloodshot, snot running from his nose with tears running down his cheeks. She’d been so caught up in the after haze of the sex that she didn’t even notice how his bare chest was heaving so deeply, nearing hyperventalation. 

But still, he grabbed his boxers, pulling them over his weakened legs clumsily. “Y-yeah, what kind do you want, Mr. Stark has a ton-”

“I don’t care.” She cut him off firmly, a sharp tone in her voice as she rolled over on her side. Y/N tucked her knees to her chin, fingers running over the side of her neck which was marked with bruises and scratches. “I don’t fucking care.”

Without another word Peter slipped out of the room quietly, knowing better than to try to talk to her about what they had been forced to participate in. It wasn’t as if there was much to say anyways.

Rain pattered against the window. It was only six o’clock in the evening. Cars honked and beeped and Natasha’s Igor Stavinsky record played for its fiftieth round of the day, and to anyone else in the tower it was a normal night. Normal, just like the ones spent sitting on the couch with Bucky’s hand creeping up her leg or Sam’s hands groping her ass, but this time they’d made a move. 

The silence was far too much to handle, the unspoken truth of what she’d done with Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Peter finally hitting her, knocking the air out of her lungs as she suddenly struggled to breathe. Gripping her face, clawing at it like a goddamn wolf, Y/N began to cry. Silently at first, gradually growing into heartbroken sobs, she let her trodden pride carry her voice wherever it wanted to go. 

The men’s whispered words haunted her mere moments after they’d left the room, but most audibly she could hear a faint husk of a voice, Sam’s low moan in her ear looming in the dreadful silence of the room:

Thanks for sharing with us, baby.

[honeybeekao]

can u tell me kaoru lore

aight hello hi len everytime im put on the spot i immediately forget anything and everything ive ever known SO

kaoru hakaze; a fail dissertation.

where do i start... i suppose we begin with his family right? why the fuck he's the way he is? suresies that works!

so he's the youngest out of 3 siblings, with an older brother and sister. and his mom died the year before he started high school (wow fun.) his dad owns a huge family business and theyre Pretty wealthy, like rich as hell meet the tenshouin zaibatsu at gatherings.

SO his mom was the most influential person to him i think, at least that's why he seeks affection and validation so much. she was a marine biologist and took him to the aquarium/beach a lot when he was a kid!! he misses her so much :(

his dad's strict and an asshole i will throw him into the sea ANYWAY he doesn't support kaoru in wanting to be an idol, and they constantly argue whenever around eachother. so like during all of his time at yumenosaki, kaoru avoided going home for as long as possible.

he's supposed to take on the business but kaoru Doesnt wanna do that, and won't so <3 thanks rei (encouraged him to strive towards his dream more, even though he was let into UNDEAD under permission to never attend practice and do whatever he pleased. he started showing up at some point and found his footing with it)

I HAVENT READ SUSTAINED MEMORIES but i know he loves and cherishes his older sister, and feels extremely guilty in general about his siblings. since he's allowed to kinda fuck around while they aren't. there's a line i see from a quote bot and the story that makes me lose it

"We took all the trouble to pretty her up, but my sister — she said ‟I'm sorry, Kaoru-chan”... and she started crying, ruining her makeup.

I mean, why was she apologizing to me? Me, who shoved all the heavy burdens onto my big brother and sister and simply just ran away."

he's guilty about running away from the family problems and this brings me over to how he feels guilt!

kaoru's an extreme overthinker. he does it without realizing, but won't really say anything about it.. and he more-or-less shoulders everything on his own because he doesn't wanna burden others with it. he's present, but not entirely and that's why a lot of people can't really read him. he's really carefree, and tries to brighten up every conversation if he can. one of his big skills is being a good conversationalist.. like adonis even asks him for advice on how to talk to people. he's good with people!!! which makes me go crazy because he would help others out even if it was annoying, but he doesn't wanna rely on others. also doesn't like being babied or treated like he can't stand on his own

in 2nd year he dated girls as like his one hobby (feels mean to call it that but it wasn't like he was ever serious. it was his way of seeking validation, while maintaining a simple persona of popularity. then at some point he was like all in love with anzu and decided she was the only person he cared about. he's a tad cringe <3) having this persona of being a playboy who doesn't care about anything was like, a way to set up so many walls. it meant he didn't ever commit to Any close relationships, had no support, and was just generally sad?? he's a sad character but so carefree and loving Sigh. anyway, in 3rd year he starts working towards being a better person. with the help of UNDEAD, and shows hurt when people assume terrible things of him.

he wants to be reliable, wants to be someone people like, and this gets easier as he moves on and comes to terms with things. i'm sure graduation without his mom to cheer him on was rough, but he has friends now!! and a supportive partner in the idol world (him and rei basically both carry tasks in the unit. he expresses that he doesn't want rei doing everything on his own n such because Um. that isn't fair to rei what the hell he's helping whether you like it or not)

i also believe he's aro with a romance fixation because what else screams that than... knowing So Much about dates, but not being able to ever properly fall in love. or explain what it is. in date plan he has a crisis over the fact he actually doesnt understand girls at all despite his history. oh kaoru, i love you sooo much

he has the prettiest hair ever mwah