#im sure theres others but holy shit it can either make me feel absolutely great or completely shoot me down

[plutoniuminjection47]

I love songs that sound like euphoria and grief at the same time

[nonasidesstuff]

the dimension travel au

aka Virgil’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

so this is like half bullet fic half outline half word vomit but here it is!

this is based on a set of art drawn by @greenninjagal-blog that you can find here with the original version of this au

i dont mind if anyone wants to use any of these ideas just tag me/send me a link if you do!

this got SUPER LONG so its going under a cut

ok lets start with

virgil

his world is medieval-with-magic

the magic here tends to take on different elemental forms depending on the user

people who use magic are called witches

his is storm based (lightning, rain, wind, etc) and is good for both offense (shooting fucking LIGHTNING at someone is great in a fight) and gardening (the ability to call rain at will is pretty nice)

he can also make potions but in his world ANYONE with magic can make potions

the thing is,,,,, magic is illegal in the kingdom he lives in

so when he found out he had magic at like age 11 he fucked off in the middle of the night

he found another witch (a water witch) fairly soon after he left and they taught him how to control his powers and how to make potions

also how to hunt bc hed planned on living out of cities

5 years later hes 16 and has learned all he could and leaves to go to the woods in the middle of nowhere

his teacher had told him about a cottage they had built in a clearing in the woods and said he could go there bc they were leaving the kingdom

they left behind a lot of books on magic and he learned more reading those

the cottage was actually in pretty good shape? the roof was a little leaky but the furniture inside was fine

the outside was a nightmare though. overgrown plants all over

as the years went on he restored the area around the cottage and found a bunch of neat stuff

like a vegetable garden that had been overgrown and wild but still had healthy plants he could cultivate for food. there were also some spice plants that had gone out of control that he harvested and dried for later use

he found out the woods around his home were full of berries (wild strawberries and blackberries. shhhhhh idc if they dont grow in the same places this is a Magic World) and discovered that one of the trees in the clearing was actually an apple tree so yay fruit!!!!

so he was living the good life

cut to 3 years later

hes 19 now and a full-blown weather witch and potion maker

he has sectioned off his garden into 3 parts: spices, vegetables, and potions ingredients

unfortunately some ingredients just wont grow well in a garden and have to be harvested from the wild

virgil realizes hes running low on a couple of said ingredients and decides to make a run to the patches of potion herbs he knows of

he only gets halfway there

a swirling blue-and-yellow vortex opens up 20 feet in the air to the right of him and something falls out

something human shaped

holy shit its a PERSON

he rushes over to make sure this person is okay and.

they have reddish brown fox ears?????

and a reddish brown and grey tail????????

he pokes one of the ears and it twitches

holy shit theyre REAL????!!!!!!!!!

he gathers up this person and takes them home

he puts the strange person in his bed and tends to the minor injuries they obtained from falling 20 feet

this is when he realizes that this person is dressed,,,,,, very strangely

now, people in virgil’s world have some freedom in what they can wear. they can wear whatever the FUCK they want. virgil is partial to dresses and skirts himself

but what this person is wearing is different. the material was like nothing hed ever seen before and in a strange style

(it suits him. its really cute)

he slept for a little over 9 hours

(virgil slept on the floor)

and when he woke he was disoriented and woozy

so he ate a small meal and drank some water and fell back to sleep for another couple hours

when he wakes again, he feels much better and is able to introduce himself

“I’m Patton Baker! Where am I?”

patton

his world is like if you took every single magical girl/boy anime out there and mashed it into one world.

so its chaotic

theres aliens/demons/monsters attacking every other week

this attracts magical creatures like a magnet and they start giving magical girls/boys powers. these are called magical guardians

these people are public figures and are treated the same way idols are in our world (not allowed boyfriends/girlfriends etc)

its a tough job

patton became a magical boy when he was 14 and has been for the past 3 years

the powers his magical guardian are able to give are based off of endangered or threatened animals (yes im sort of copying tokyo mew mew shhhhhhhhhh)

patton became infused with the dna of the island fox

his transformation is triggered by a small tattoo-like marking given to him by his guardian. it’s on the base of his neck

he Absolutely has a magical girl transformation

when he’s transformed, he has the ears and tail of an island fox as well as claw-like nails. his hair is the reddish-brown of the fox and his eyes are silver

his outfit is light blue with silver and white accents and dark blue sleeves

when detransformed he has blond hair and blue eyes

his magical boy weapon is a bow that he can shoot arrows of light from

his group was based out of florida and has been going strong for about 15 years. magical teens come and go as they gain their powers and retire or, tragically, lose their lives fighting

at the moment there are six people including patton

their most recent foe is a monster that has the ability to make people and things disappear, and they’re not sure what happens to them

theyre fighting this thing at night when it happens. the creature has already taken the streetlights out and the teens are fighting in heavy darkness. patton, who has better night vision due to his fox genes, sees the monster about to grab the leader, and strongest, of their group

and he makes a choice

he pushes her out of the way and gets grabbed by the monster instead.

there’s a single moment of searing pain and then the world dissolves into swirling lights and dizziness

when he wakes he’s in a strange house. he introduces himself and the person who’s taking care of him introduces himself

he’s told he fell out of some sort of portal and virgil tries to help him figure out where he is in relation to his home but. virgil doesnt recognize any of the places patton is talking about. and patton doesnt recognize any of the ones virgil says

virgil asks patton about the fact that He Is Part Fox and patton talks about the magical system back home and thats when they realize theyre dealing with dimension travel

patton stays in bed for the rest of the day and by the next hes feeling much better! so he helps virgil around the house and they get to know each other

the day after that, virgil remembers that he really needs those herbs, so he tells pat hes going out for a bit to gather them

he gets about a quarter of the way there when Another Portal Opens and dumps out a person. this time right in front of him

this person is also wearing odd

clothing, but in a different style than pattons

he checks to make sure theyre not injured (they knocked their head a bit but other than that seem fine) and carries them back home

the person is unconscious in virgil’s bed for a couple of hours longer than patton was, but he wakes up entirely coherent

he introduces himself as “logan croft”

logan

his world is one full of magic

magical creatures of all sorts live there and magic is a welcome part of society

there’s elves, fairies, merfolk, unicorns, any you can think of

magical schools are also big parts of it

people who have mastered their magic to the highest degree are called mages

everyone else are called wizards

the way magic works in this world is with spells (think harry potter but without wands)

some people are born with more magic than others and as such have a harder time controlling it when it manifests at around 10

so theyre sent to magic schools where they learn how to safely do so

if they want to stay at these schools after they learn control then they move on to higher forms of magical education to continue learning

logan is one of these students

he was born with a MASSIVE amount of magic and when it manifested he. accidentally leveled his house

everyone was fine!!!!!!! but the poor boy had absolutely no control

so he stayed at a school for people with high amounts of magic and by the time he was 13 he had enough control to leave if he wanted to

of course this being logan he Absolutely wanted to keep learning so he moved on

he was so good actually that he ended up in the best magic academy in the world

he consistently learned magic at a faster rate than his peers and so by the time he was 18 (people normally didnt until they were like 21/22) he was a mage in all but name

so he was ready to take his mage exam

the mage exam is considered both easy and the hardest and most dangerous thing you could do

its easy in the fact that you only have to cast a spell correctly

its hard and dangerous bc its a spell that NO ONE outside of historians have ever seen before and you only have 10 minutes to memorize it. things go wrong Frequently

needless to say there arent many mages and people tend to either quit before reaching that stage or fail

and failure can be painful

so logan decides to take the mage exam

the spell they are given is a long string of words dug out of an ancient book of spells and historians arent entirely sure what it does

so ofc its given to the best in the academy

logan takes his ten minutes to memorize the spell and begins chanting

now in this world, when spells are used a runic circle made of light appears under the person casting

small spells have small circles and bigger spells have larger and brighter ones

the one this spell called forwards was massive and so bright that it blinded the exam practitioners (i think thats the word?)

when the light died down logan was gone

theyre unsure whether it went right or wrong but unfortunately theres no trace of where logan had gone so theres no way to see

when he wakes hes somewhere he doesnt recognize and is being taken care of by two people

they all introduce themselves and logan gets the story about what happened to him

and he realizes hes in a different dimension with different magical rules

naturally he wants to learn everything

so he and virgil have long discussions about the differences in their magic systems

(with patton chiming in every once in a while with how bonkers magical girl powers are)

after logan gets back on his feet virgil really REALLY needs those herbs and so he decides to go back out

logan tags along this time bc he wants to see the differences between the flora and fauna of this new world

they get about half way there and once again.

a portal opens

its light blue and yellow

virgil goes “jesus christ AGAIN??????? am i a MAGNET for these things??????????”

and a person falls out

theyre another animal person. this time with scales covering the side of their face and down their arms

virgil and logan carry this whole other person back home and as soon as they walk in

patton is like “janus????!!!!!”

janus

turns out

janus is from pat’s world!!!! and the same mg group!!!!!

he became a magical boy about a year before pat did and was merged with the dna of a golden lancehead viper

so hes been a mg for like 4 years

his outfit is white with yellow bows and a black cape thing with a yellow inside. his scales are bright yellow and his eyes are heterochromatic. one is a normal eye (brown) and the other is a bright gold color with a snake-like pupil

his marking is on the inside of his left wrist

his weapon is a set of knives made of light that he can call at will and either slash with or throw

he and patton got along rather well in the current time

in the past, they,,,, didnt

it wasnt violent but they were kinda snippy at each other and janus was aggressively sarcastic which pat Did Not Appreciate

but after working together for a few years they got to know each other better and saw each other through low points in their lives and became close

janus was still a sarcastic little shit but now its more playful

he likes to suggest “pushing it down a flight of stairs” for any problem

“man i have a big math test tomorrow with a mean teacher that i didnt study for im screwed”

“push it down the stairs”

“the teacher or the test?”

“yes”

he will also aggressively remind you that Self Care Is Good And Needed

(“patton youve been patrolling for hours every night this week. go sleep”

“but i-“

“go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏”

“bu-“

“go sleep or im going to knock you unconscious and THEN youll sleep”

“ok fine”)

anyways the dimension monster came back and despite the whole group being more careful, it got janus

luckily (to every one else) this time they managed to defeat it

once again, the pain of dimensional travel fucking SUCKED and janus was unconscious for about as long as patton was

he woke and ate a small meal and fell back asleep for like an hour

when he woke up that time he was shocked and happy to see patton

they reunite and everyone gets to know each other over the next couple days

and then virgil remembers that he STILL HASNT GOTTEN HIS HERBS and they all decide to tag along when he leaves to get them

virgil just like sighs and said “nothing better happen this time i swear to god-“

and they make it most of the way there!!!!! virgil feels a little hope!!!!

then another portal opens

its red and green

(virgil: “GODDAMMIT”)

this time TWO people fall out

the group gather up the two portal people and take them home to heal bc

holy shit they are in bad condition

theyre unconscious for a solid 2 days

Roman and remus

their world is BAD yall

the world is very scientifically advanced, and a group if scientists decided that they wanted to prove the existence of alternate universes

and they did!

but they accidentally opened a portal to a hell dimension and they couldnt close it

so the whole world became an apocalyptic nightmare

this happened when the twins were 15

theyve been surviving on their own in an apocalyptic hellscape for just over 4 years now

remus is the close range fighter with a variety of Large Sharp Knives and roman hangs back and snipes the ones going in for remus’ blind spots with a modified rifle. or if he has to fight closer range he has a modified pistol

roman also is the one to carry their medical supplies bc remus did Once and never will again

they travel together bc even though they cant stand each other some days (remus makes gross comments a Lot and roman likes to complain about the lack of conditioner)

(roman once found an old bottle of perfume and dumped it on remus’ head. in retaliation, when they were relatively safe remus found a dead squirrel and chased roman around with it for a solid 15 minutes)

theyre still twins and theyre all each other have left

currently, roman and remus are running from a creature that caught them off guard while they were sleeping

it had managed to get a few good hits on them before they managed to fight back so they both have a couple injuries

roman has a long slice down his arm and remus has some real bad claw marks down his back

the two of them find a building they can hide in while they wait for the creature to move on and discover that its some sort of science lab

they decide to explore for a bit bc they have 0 braincells between the two of them

what they dont realize is that this is one of the labs that the scientists were using to build their dimensional machines

what they do realize is that the monster found them and it starts chasing them through the facility

the two of them are in really bad shape

malnourished after living on just what they can find for 4 years, both bleeding profusely from open wounds and various injuries from other run-ins with the creatures

they arent able to run as fast as they usually are able and so they get cornered in a room with a large machine

they back up to it to stay away as long as they can and

one of them presses a button

the machine behind them whirrs to life and the two are sucked into a portal oh so similar to the one that ruined the lives of everyone on their world

roman wakes first

he wasnt hurt as badly as remus so the portal didnt take as much out of him as remus

everyone introduces themselves and roman has the his first full meal in. a long time

(he might cry a lil bit but shhhhhhh)

and now that hes awake, virgil can give him a potion to help speed up his healing

thats when romans like “holy shit MAGIC?????”

bc there was none on his world

and they all talk and get to know each other

(the other four are Horrified at how awful his world was

bc like, patton and janus’ wasnt very good either but it wasnt an apocalypse

the next day virgil leaves logan in charge and FINALLY goes and gets his GODDAMN HERBS

nothing happens this time :)

and when he gets back remus is awake

hes fed and virgil gets him a potion too

the two heal and just kind of marvel at the fact theyre safe for the first time in years

also that theres GODDAMN MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!

they still can’t believe theres actual magic

the five dimension hoppers eventually meet thomas, virgil’s talking magic cat

(virgil: “he can think and talk like a human hes not my cat”

thomas: “im totally your cat stop denying it”)

he decided to wander around the forest for a while (he does this often) and only got back after all of the portal shit ended

he is the only cat with magic and says he ALSO fell out of a portal but it was a few years before he met virgil

i dont really know what happens after this

maybe they go try to figure out how to get home?

maybe they decide to stay and live in the woods for the rest of their lives

 maybe they decide “you know what? FUCK the government” and stage a coup to make magic legal

 whichever it is definitely has a lot of found family goodness

can you tell i started running out of steam like 3/4 of the way through

[savnofilter]

ajlsodnsksirhks what is up with these bitch ass anons like hOly fuck they're so damn annoying like they're only acting like tough shit because their identities r hidden fucking pussy ass bitches I double dare them to come off anon. I stg they getting on my nerves 😤 only good vibes are allowed so get out of here wit ur bullshitttttt. sav u are a QUEEEEN and ilyyyyy!! ❤❤ these hateful anons can become the dirt you walk on

right! (and this may or may not turn into a rant but oh well)

first off, the contradictory. “your quick to talk about “respect” on this platform when your one of the ones that shits on other writers that are more succesful than you” they cant even spell, probably trying to mask the diction but we’ll pretend like i dont have a brain. like ive said many times, if youre trying to preach kInDnEsS or “raise awareness”, you dont do so with hate you absolute shit eater. 

naturally, this ask didnt even upset me. cause right off the bat, youre contradicting yourself by saying that. i have less followers that im salty? like congrats, you just played yourself. if the point of the ask was supposed to “teach” me how to act and kneel to people with bigger following, youre sure doing a great way in making me want to act opposite. and i hope they know how stupid and stinky they are for even saying that because that just implies only people with big followings or who are “popular” can only have their voice heard. if you measure your friendships by success, just know that youre the toxic one. these people, dont give a shit about me. if i was dead, they would not care.

the same fact that i was actually ditched/dumped/pushed to the side whichever for having a poor mental health and focusing on myself. the same accounts that send me manipulative messages, or make me seem like bad for speaking up yeah, im just a bitch right? its funny because a lot of the people are full of themselves and yall and dont even see that. but because im not up my own ass i get this? because im “not cool” enough to not get hate? okay.

literally no one has sent asks that they have sent to me, accusing of me starting stuff even if i havent send anything (not encouraging either). and i even had to beg people not to twist around a note i had written just a few weeks ago because i had finally been able to speak up about how ive been treated. and yet no one listens to me. and even in the note if you read it, i even talked about how i felt gaslighted by these accounts. 

the same people who will reblog shit like “be kind to others” “believe that theres two sides to a story” shit like that, but cant practice it. put a front that they do, and do the exact opposite. i have no feeling towards you, anon. i dont have feelings for pussies.

you guys can try, and try, and try to get me to change because you dont like how im different. but i will never change. not for you, not for the person you think is better than me. no one.

[hegglespeggles]

How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps

Hello. I have an essay to write.

I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.

Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it’s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.

 Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.  

  FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT

1.    Go get the prompt.

I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.

(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)

Boom?

BOOM.

Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first

(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)

2.    Math THE FIRST

I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY

Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.

Time to split this bitch up

  3.    Yarrrrrr, CONTENT

And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.

This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a  great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT

Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)

Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.

  4.    MATH THE SECOND

 The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?

So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.

 RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.

If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.

If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip

5.    CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.

It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.

  6.    Filling in the skeleton

 I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER

a)      You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section

or

b)     You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”

I prefer the second so LEGGO.

Ta-Da!

7.    Write ‘er up

Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.

I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this

 The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going

And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”

  8.    Citations

Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.

 Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.

  9.    Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.

If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.

  10.       Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED

 No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.

 Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight

EPILOGUE

I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps. 

[shirts181]

Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be?  Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say!  it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell!  lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!!  cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies).  what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them. 

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else).  however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby.  DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees.  Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies???  well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining.  i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time!  but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people.  to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about.  so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival.  both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s.  when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound. 

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean?  u catchin my drift???  u takin what im dishin out????  the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics.  which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic.  the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing.  i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther.  this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago.  so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start!  we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch.  it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy.  theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast.  in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well.  thats fuckin huge my guy.  and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time.  and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way.  like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable.  however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me.  the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered.  i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations. 

so.  best picture.  this is where i feel the most conflicted.  cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters.  usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film.  ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well.  passable.  it was ok.  but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like.  okay.  michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird.  and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well.  not great.  every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside.  and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative.  and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes.  but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????).  and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise).  its just, u know, a good superhero movie.  nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom.  i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies.  and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen.  but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying. 

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think.  really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design.  so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting?  idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

[holduplemmethink]

about a girl

so i been single for like what 5? years now. maybe 4.  either way lots of fun u know.. being a fccboi and shit. yah great.  met lots of new people made lots of new friends. met some girls that were going Through some shit, met some who were just wanting to have fun, met some who were happy, met some who were dating and seemingly out of reach(?) like i wouldnt even look at them the same way i look at girls who are at the club or something.  pretty much just treat them as a complete friend.  pretty much befriending the Couple as opposed to the individual girl.

and then one of those girls becomes single... and then all of a sudden i become shy LOL. it feels so different.  this isnt like the ‘oh shit what am i gunna say to that girl who im making eye contact with at the club’ kind of shy. this is like some innocent fucking 1st grade crush type of shy.  i legit dont think ive felt this crush feeling since like the 1st grade.  LOLsocute.

so yeah i just need to log how im feeling right now cuz its pretty different for sure.  like definitely the heart ache thing right? theres some sort of like.. caving-in? type feeling going on. like ur longing for something/one i guess.  and like the emotions are inSane rn.  theres an insane mix of anger, angst, longing, sadness, regret(or more like wondering if somethign happened or i shoulda done something or if i missed somethign), definitely some confusion.  definitely a Lot of energy LOL but its like uncontrolled chaotic energy that i cant always focus.  normally when i feel emotional about whatever, ill be able to Focus that energy into being productive.  so if im panicking about something ill Focus my energy into solving the issue or whatever. but rn its like.. what can i even do yo.  if i keep pushing the topic thats Verybad.  i think i legit just have to chill..... but how the F am i supposed to do that when i keep thinking about this girl yo LOLdamn.  

like before i started feeling this way i would what. watch twitch streams of random chicks, maybe insta, watch some shows or somethign i dunno. but now like i dont want Any of that. wow. im going fucking crazy yo. i am definteely thinkin gab this girl.. way too much.. like this sunday? for our double header in flag football? holy shit im going to absolutely deMolish some mother fuckers.  what else am i gunna do with all this energy? f.

and like theres even another girl who i met like once or twice before and i think i promised her i would meet up with her this week but like. is it even fair to her? i def should let her know what my situation is i guess.... hm.... am i.... that girl to this girl...? LOL... i Really hope not. cuz if i find out that theres another guy (which is Definitely possible.  this girl is a Catch yo.) id be prrrrrrtty f bummed out.  yikes. if i hear that news... hm.. i dunno whats gunna happen to me and how imma act.

i mean what else could i have expected. she Just recently broke up w a guy who was very srs and almost married and then what comes this dude (me).  just Some Guy.  interesting this is--- i dunno if anything changes.

oh wow i need to provide some backstory LOL.  took a girl out on 1 date. met up at a party night after. she sends Long text. ab how like she just broke up w srs relationship prob wants to be w herself or like meet other guys (i think?)... hm...

what. am i supposed to do yo.  like what other outcome even was there?  the Day i saw her for our date i could already see on her face that she was like sorta unsure about if she even wanted to be there. like ive seen girls who were looking Forward to the date and how they look when they see me.  that was Not the look on this girls face LOL. i mean we still had a good time and stuff but it definitely wasnt like any of the dates i took girls out who i Knew we were both uh... whats the best way to say this.... we both knew we were both interested in each other and uh.. yeah.  i definitely had to be more careful w this girl just cuz we had mutual friends so LOL theres no f way im doing the same shit i am doing to other girls with this close friend group girl.

i guess i sorta do regret (only a little) not asking more about her dating preferences cuz that helps me understand where her mind is at. but i was also sorta confused i guess.  wasnt exactly sure how i even felt about her. so that first date was sorta more for me to figure my shit out.  i guess i was really hoping there would be a second date so that i could figure out how She felt... but now maybe there wont be a chance. at least not for a while.  unless its like we just meeting up as friends but.... i dunno i wonder if she would be down for that hm.

i def need to find a way to figure out if she actually is not interested at all anymore. cuz if thats the case then aite gg. but if thats not the case then hm....

FFFFFFF. fun stuff.

[did-you-even-make-a-sound]

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)

requested : yep prompt: n/a pairing : connor murphy x reader warnings : suicide plan mention additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.   

dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy 

I have to get this off my chest before I straighten every crooked object offensive clutter distraction OCD nervous as fuck I’ll pull out every hair or tear my fingers off If I don’t figure out how to look in your eyes without screaming

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I can’t remember anything before you I can’t imagine anything without you I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,' You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.

At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read. 

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month. 

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago. 

connor-fvcking-mvrphy 

this is not going to be a great week or year or life or anything inbetween i thought for a millisecond that i had found a friend a kindred spirit but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H. your friend too go ahead and laugh laugh all you want but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?

goodbye

You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

you hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out please please don’t kill yourself I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three,

four,

five.

There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im flattered I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply. 

you OH thank god I thought that you had… Are you okay?? thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy im fine actually…i feel much better. thanks for, you know. caring.

you Anytime! I’m [y/n] btw

connor-fvckng-mvrphy connor

you i know thats creepy oh my god;sorry

connor-fvckng-mvrphy it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill

you :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy so this might sound weird but ???? you’re…pretty cool. i just looked over your account and wanted to know well you know want to talk more???

you wow im??? Really???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

you id love to !!!!

You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

connor-fvckng-mvrphy do you think, like… well ever get to meet each other?? imean you’re a really great friend now and??? id like to meet you.

you i wish but we live like eight hours away from each other…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy ill drive to you!

you calm down, connor…lmao we don’t want you burning out on the way

connor-fvckng-mvrphy :( I don’t even know what you look like…

you i don’t know what you look like either! XD

connor-fvckng-mvrphy shit well if I send you a picture of me will you do the same?

you sure ig

connor-fvckng-mvrphyme.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,

you WHOA YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE

connor-fvckng-mvrphy id prefer handsome but I’ll take it your turn, missy.

you hnnghhh okaybewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg

connor-fvckng-mvrphy … holy shit

you bad???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE??? WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-

you no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy no way you’re fucking adorable i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker

 connor-fvckng-mvrphy we should swap phone numbers

you and skype??

connor-fvckng-mvrphy fuck yeah

you oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

you saved and I just texted you too :)

connor-fvckng-mvrphy 'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis? dude you’re just,,, thats really fucking cute

you wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

you best friend?? awww connor!!!

connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah yeah you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you you’re my best friend too!! i really wish i could meet you…

connor-fvckng-mvrphy  me too…hold on a sec

you connor??? you okay???

connor-fvckng-mvrphy my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer. i fucking hate her sometimes

you do you?

connor-fvckng-mvrphy …no but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

you *internet hug*

connor-fvckng-mvrphy Fuck…that’s cute.

 As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired. 

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily. 

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

you i love you too!!!!

[r-o-se]

BASICALLY 101 comments/thoughts/things on Produce 101 S2E2

So we are BACK TOPOFTHEMORNINGTOYALADDIES AND WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF p101 live commentary

1.      The kids are watching the last ep

2.      The first vote results, Bae Jinyoung first, Wang Minhyuk last. Poor kid. Stop naming kids Minhyuk theres 6 of them on the field already it’s like Michael in America lol

3.      Back to the evaluations

4.      Woojin goes up, Daniel is like ’He’s rly cute I hugged him already’ tbh everyone call him cute lol

5.      Does JB Baby, what a classic lol. Got a B and praised for his pronunciation

6.      Aaahahahah lmao he asked for water and has to choose between two judges. Chooses Cheetah and she looks blessed af

7.      Kid has problems with opening stickers lol

8.      YGk+ performance, everyone are shook about their legs

9.      Their performance isn’t that good though, poor dudes. One D, other three F

10.   Roll yet ANOTHER compilation of the hottest kids this season

11.   Yongbin aka the dude with a nose bridge straighter and higher than my will to live

12.   Dongsoo and Namhyung from S.How do an AMAZING self composed song, are cute and talented as fuck. Namhyung got an A and Dongsoo got a B. Cheetah loves them ME TOO ME TOO

13.   Compilation of rappers, the overall comment on teachers is ‘Cheetah is cute omg but Dunmill is scary’

14.   Editing: aw cheetah is cute now with longer hair

15.   Cheetah: does the snoop dogg dance yno the smoke weed everyday one

16.   ‘Boys are calmer’ no they are more desperate and scared of failure

17.   Jung Jungji prepared a SHITTON for EXO Growl, a bajillion vids of it. But sadly I guess his nerves got to him, he didn’t do well aaaaaaaaaaaand got an F. Stop fucking laughing at him. Most of the audience is dancing along though such an iconic song

18.   He looks dead inside but says “I’m glad because I made BoA laugh”

19.   HOTSHOT HOTSHOT HOTSHOT SUNGWOON TAEHYUN SUNGWOON TAEHYUN

20.   Do Block B Very Good, MURDER IT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, AMAZING energy, everyone love it, first and only all company A rank

21.   Who am I fooling I actually watched their performance like 4 times before this on youtube just because of how much I love it the energy is so good

22.   Taehyun’s freestyle krump was on POINT tru kid monster right there. His expressions are soooooo good

23.   Now the kids are writing their future wishes or something like that to a huge whiteboard

24.   Kim Dongbin from kiwi ent looks sooooo nervous save that kid

25.   He’s doing chewing gum and stopped in the middle for some x reason?

26.   He stopped bc one of the judges pulled out his in-ear in a weird way and he thought that meant he needs to stop

27.   HES CRYING OUT OF NERVES RESCUE THAT POOR KID OMG

28.   Everyone are cheering for him  to continue THIS IS SO SWEET AAAHHHHHH EVEN JINWOO MOVED HIS HANDS AND CLAPPED

29.   And he finished his performance w a cute smile and………. got an F

30.   ’My level should be lower than F. I’m grateful for F’

31.   FNC Hwiseung comes out DOES SHINEE REPLAY GOT MY VOTE

32.   JELLY HEESEOK DOES CHAINED UP ALSO GOT MY VOTE

33.   Judges don’t like either and say both feel rushed… Hwiseung got a D and Heeseok got an F… damn

34.   Starship Sewoon and Kwanghyun come in, everyone get hype. One of them hates dancing and individ. trainee Jaehwan went to the same school as Sewoon. They Maroon 5 Sugar, everyone loves it

35.   Sewoon plays guitar and composes, everyone STILL loves it and for a very good reason

36.   BoA: So do u wanna be an idol or a singer?

        Sewoon: CEO

37.   Starship gets a double B

38.   RYTHM TA COVER, amazing vocals, acrobatics, taekwondo (is this the K-Tiger trainee?) basically just a compilation of the coolest kids this season

39.   Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Jang Moonbok clip again

40.   He’s doing BTS Boy In Luv and…. It isn’t too good poor dude

41.   Seriously Mnet’s son bc his singing isn’t good yet the only reactions they are showing from crowd are the most positive ones

42.   He got an F

43.   Brand New come up, roll clip of the absolute snake team San E and Jint ent company lol kids are cute tho

44.   Do a song composed by Daehwi, choreo made by Woojin that sounds eerily like a GOT7 Hard Carry  

45.   Daehwi's vocals are good but his range isn’t too high rip. One of the kids did a bboy pose thing on one hand. Someone in the crowd dabbed

46.   Daehwi and Woojin got an A, Youngmin and Donghyun got B’s

47.   End of the evaluation, 7 A rank trainees, 17 B rank, 21 C rank, 25 D rank and 31 F rank. Last season there was like….. 20 something A rank holy shit

48.   Revealing the high pitched as hell song and the difficult ass choreo

49.   The best can go to M Countdown with it, A gets center and the ult center gets a solo part

50.   The one who has an A rank is basically a god and the one who gets the center position is literally the definition of ’what’s a god to a non-believer’

51.   They’re moving in now and get their ugly colour coded sweaters lol

52.   F rank trying to cope ’I actually rly like gray clothes… Still want pink tho’

53.   Why is korea so obsessed with ages lol

54.   Sungwoon took like an air humidifier and candles and an electric mat and whatnot lmaoooo

55.   Goblin parody ensue. Some trainee, Yoo Jinwon looks just like male Eun Tak (The female lead of goblin)

56.   Group practice is soooooo unbalanced holy SHIT

57.   The song is so high pitched they are all dying inside

58.   JINWOO IS TALKING my dude…. In F rank…. Depressing

59.   Daehwi is a sad boy bc the entire B team belted out the high notes like no joke

60.   Two dance black holes make slow mo eye contact if im not incorrect its the Cube F rank and one of the YGk+ F ones with a haircut idk how to describe.. like… its black…  sure is black

61.   Within 10 minutes A rank fucking aces the dance as a whole, sure its not perfect but it looks GREAT

62.   F is a… Mess sighs. At least that’s how they’re portrayed. In group shots at least half of the kids can do the dance just GREAT but sure obvs mnet isnt gonna show them

63.   Daehwi has problems with the high notes poor lil kid

64.   Namhyun, Sungwoo and Sungwoon have no problems hitting it though

65.   I fucking hate this system because rappers need to excel in vocals too which is fucking unfair and they just humiliated BNM Woojin who cant reach the notes and the trainer is NO FUCKING HELP and doesn’t guide him or anything just looks at him judgingly just fuck off dude seriously

66.   Sungwoo is just like Sejeong, got everyone shook during first evaluation, sings like an angel and CAN actually dance but has small problems while adapting to the choreo

67.   Now to the D group training KAHI MY MOTHER

68.   Baekho has problems concentrating to the dance and they only show him obviously thanks Mnet for nothing like he is not the type of person for p101 hes literally the furthest away from the p101 type why did pledis force them there Im so fucking angry dude

69.   Another poor black hole cutie is Cube Guanlin ugh im so sad about him DON’T CRY

70.   But others are helping him which makes me happy thank god for that

71.   C group get compared to chicks and vitamin C lol

72.   The C group vocal trainer is pretty af and everyone are in love including me

73.   ‘Age is just a number’ BOI

74.   Bae Jinyoung keeps looking at the ground SHY BOY but he also messed up his singing poor kiddo

75.   B team has the same vocal coach as A and I think D has the same dude

76.   Honestly I fucking hate that dude he’s so rude to rapper kids and doesn’t even help him and Mnet tries to play it off like ‘haha tsundere’ but no he’s just an asshole

77.   One of the rappers does adlibs lol

78.   But everyone else are just in pain I fucking hate this system so much

79.   Woojin is a small baby but sings like gold

80.   AND D TEAM HAS THE SAME ASSHOLE COACH

81.   He picks out NU’EST right away ugh but MY DUDE REN DOES SO WELL

82.   RBW GUNHEE MY B O I HOLY HELL SINGS SO WELL WHYS HE IN D even the coach said he did the best out of the grades he coaches ( A B and D)

83.   That coach is so much nicer in D

84.   I take everything back he just fucking destroyed my baby Hyungseob I’m so fucking done with everything

85.   B team dance class que

86.   Kang Daniel feels a bit full of himself but tbh he is literally perfect at everything and has the dance clean already

87.   Kim Jaehwan has problems with dance this is like with Juna last season lol

88.   JAEHWAN IS PRACTICING ALONE AS THE LAST ONE THERE POOR KID

89.   The dorm clips, everyone are practicing

90.   Aaaaaaaaand now they’re doing the reevaluation filming

91.   B grade Kim Sangbin danced really well and even sang well even though hes a rapper and then dabbed lmao hope lost

92.   MY LIL JUSTIN KIDDO IS UP but holy shit his singing is really bad I’m sad

93.   Everyone are saying they are anticipating Minhyun to move up by a rank but his clip is awful I’m so fucking sad dude I don’t have any words to express my absolute misery he looks so beaten up and other trainees are trying to console him I’m so fucking sad

94.   Now it’s Baekho’s turn, he doesn’t do too well either but it def isn’t THAT bad and mnet is just trying to make NU’EST look bad because they aren’t showing JR’s clip even though he was good enough to move up to B grade

95.   The dude with the best singing voice, Gunhee, his singing voice broke rip

96.   Moonbok’s clip wasn’t good and everyone are sad bc he practiced a lot

97.   Kwon Hyunbin from YGk+ does really shit and I feel soooooooooooo sorry because he isn’t doing good and people aren’t vvoting for him either but it just won’t come out right and im SO SORRY FOR HIM AAAAAAAGHHHHHH and like YGk+ is a modelling company so he wont debut and then theres this kid Ha Minho who I like too and his rank is like what 94 rn hes gonna fucking die. I hate this show why is it so addicting

98.   Calls to family ft. a lot of tears from everyone but Jisung’s sister has the same sense of humor as Jisung does its gr8 why isn’t he in top 11 vote for him jesus fuck

99.   Judges are gonna watch the reevaluation things now time to Get Sad Bois

100.  Daehwi and Samuel get praised and JAEHWAN MY LIL BOY FIXED HIS DANCE IM SO PROUD

101.  Oh no now theyre gonna watch Minhyuns catastrophe clip I want to fucking die

102. Kahi said that Min gets pressured when competing with other people I’m so fucking sad my boy is so stable and talented if anyone wants good NU’EST lives just fucking hit me up he is sooooo high quality stop bullying him @mnet  @pledis

103. Why do they only show bad clips I’m so sad and the trainers all laugh at them this just… it’s so ugly leave the kids alone they are under such immense pressure with such a difficult song and choreo

104. Finally they are showing the good trainees I’m so glad give them that ATTENTION and MY KID HYUNGSEOB IS THERE WITH A PEACE SIGN

105. And to end it now they’re getting the reevaluation grades and a bunch of kids are moving up I’m glad but they aren’t showing anyone’s new grades

And now, also good  screencaps that didn’t make it into the top 9, some funny, some depressing, Also I’m ready to stab anyone who came up with the goddamn food and bathroom break ration they’re doing by rank like what is this u cant dance u cant eat?? well hello there stalin 

[lostandbrokenshell]

Darkest Before Dawn. Part 2

Farcry 5 fanfic. Rated M for Mature language and sexual reference. No pairing or plans for smutt.

Your head hurt fiercely slowly you open your eyes there was a man sitting not far from you, your hands where zap strapped to a post.

“Good your awake, you people really kicked the hornets nest.” He said staring you down.

“Sir im a lonely red head.”

“Im reffering to the shit job you deputies and that dumb ass marshal did.”

“Well it was my first day, i skipped the tutorial. Probably a my bad.” You reply as you close your eyes. Fuck did your head hurt.

“Is this a joke to you? Because those peggies are out there murdering people and burning their homes to the ground. They where waiting for some dumb ass to start their holy war and you ass holes just did it. Now good folks are dying and im trying to figure out this mess you made.”

“No this isnt a fucking joke, i was literally blown off a bridge. I went to see what happened to the dumb asses when we lost contact and another deputy split. I have no fucking clue whats going on i arrived in this town yesterday to start my job today. I went from being a fucking paramedic to this shit? Fuck. Fuck this is fucked. Am i going to make jokes? Yes, why? BECAUSE I WAS BLOWN OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE! Worst first day ever and now im tied up in what looks like is some old dudes basement. Sorry if im not taking it to seriously right now i have had a doozy of a time trying to figure this shit out.” You say while glaring at him, he studied your face for a few minutes before sighing deeply and pulling out a knife and cut you loose.

“Theres clothes in there, get changed burn the uniform meet me down the hall.” He said as he walked away. You pick out a flannel red shirt and jeans and go see the old man. There was one wall dedicated to your family and another woman. Clippings about disappearing people,a cult, people being strong armed out of their properties and homes. Your family was the centre of it all.

“Jeez” you whisper and you hand traces the wall. You look at “Faith” and the flower named bliss it was some serious chemistry compound drug work.

“Near as i can tell, shes a replacement for the sister they couldn’t find. Call her Faith because they believe that their sister will come back, and that “Faith” will help harrold her into a new beginning.” He said from behind you. “Names Dutch. I get you didn’t kick this hornets nest, but your involved non the less deputy. Help me, help the folks out there in this mess and maybe we can fix it.” You turn to face him, his face was stern and fixed on you for your reply.

“They’re killing people?” You ask and he nodded.

“If not themselves, they order it.”

“Im in.” You say with a small nod. Your heart had sunk. Blind leap of faith was a bad idea. Should of looked up everything, is that why the house was so cheap? People cutting losses and getting the fuck out of town? Dutch talked with you for a while catching you up on Edens Gate and “Peggies”. He helped you get a good lay of the land and where to find some things and even gave you few guns to leave with.

“Other than your, brief training as a deputy what else do you have in your bag of tricks. Because you cant underestimate these peggies.” Dutch asked as you where heading to the bunker door. “ These peggies dont mess around.”

“Fair enough, i was in air cadets until i was 18 got my pilots license through them, learned to shoot to. Im a ace shot actually.” You say with a smirk. “I also volunteered as a firefighter at 16 did that for a few years to, become a paramedic and did that until I moved here. I have lots of experience saving lives, this is the first time i get to use guns to do so.” You say with a smile.

Duth noded “Good dont die then.”

Securing falls end wasnt easy, you had to wait for a group of peggies to take off and act, strike fast and once they had the opportunity the rest of the town fought with you. Mary May put a shot and beer in front of you.

“You earned it darling.” She said with a smile “You really shoved it to those peggies! And it was beautiful.” Before you could answer the tv flickered and started showing an image of John, he had Hudson and was talking. You couldn’t hear what he was saying your mind tuned it out. You where lost, it really is your family and they are fully aware of what they are doing. The video started over again it was on a loop you realize you where holding your breath and exhale. You take the shot and put your head on the counter. This is fucked.

“Dep-you-tee” the radio crackled “You must have a radio from my men enough of them had one.” You look at the radio beside you Mary May was glaring at it. If looks could kill.

“Hello John.” You say slowly your mouth was dry, your heart pounding.

“Ah, there she is! I was wondering if I would get to hear your voice. I wonder when we get to meet? Will it be at your baptism maybe?”

“Not surprised you don’t recognize my voice John, but we met.” The bar was silent probably the quietest its even been you didn’t know.

“Oh? An old conquest maybe? Did you have a habit? Lots of possibilities. But none that matter. We maybe short what was promised but reaping day is here.”

“Where you promised another person?” You ask remembering Dutchs words about how they believed you would be back.” Laughter erupted on the other end.

“Dont you worry about that dep-you-tee, Joseph hasn’t been wrong yet, see you around John out.”

“Looking forward to the reunion, kind of its conflicting now... Joanne Hope out.” You didn’t add your last name, you didn’t go by Seed anymore but you think that was enough for him to get the picture. Everyone in the bar was fixed on you and the radio. There was a long silence before it was broken surprisingly by the radio.

“You’re top priority Dep-you-tee, your marked now. Lets see if you are, who you say you are hm?”

“Nothing like a good ole sibling rivalry John, in the midst of a hostile cult takeover. Lookin forward to it, because im not turning my back on these people. Ive dedicated my life to saving lives im not going to stop now.” You slide the radio away and the pastor sat down beside you everyone went tense watching you. “Im not like my brothers.” You say quietly as you sip at your beer.

“I certainly dont think that you are. Im pastor Jerom” he said warmly has he put his hand on your back. “Thank you for saving us.”

“Seeds arent welcome here” someone angrily yelled

“Then i guess its a good thing my last name is Knight. After my parents that raised me.” You say as you turn around to face the people. “I dont know what shit show i walked into, but this certainly isnt what i was expecting. Finding long lost homicidal siblings running a cult that almost killed me multiple times since i came to town. Fucking great. Just fucking great. I didn’t look into shit moving to this town because i wanted to be surprised. Looked beautiful seemed like a great job everything just seemed to fit so i thought it did. Should of stayed in Canada, paramedics dont deal militant cults.” It looked like a couple people where going to say something and you where getting ready to leave. Mary May slammed her hands on the bar.

“The deputy stays. She chased those peggies out of town, she freed us and gave me my bar back. Got a problem with that then walk.” She said as she nodded towards the door everyone looked down and walked away. “You got balls. I like that.” She said to you with a smile “Have another shot, we cant pick family.” She slid another shot to you and Jerom and poured one for herself. “Cheers” you all raised your shot glasses.

The next day you start driving up to the jail Jerom thought that maybe some space between you and the men looking for you might be best. You where not ready to deal with Jacob yet either so you decided on Faiths region. Besides should probably check in at the office so the know your alive, if they haven’t heard already. It was easy to zone out driving no one one the roads. Just tree, tree, tree, sign, tree, tree, tree, flaming person, tree, tree. Shit! Flaming person? You slam on the breaks and look back a peggie was on fire while it looked like Sharky assisting in the lighting of the fire. You put it in park and hop out.

“Sharky my man! Safer to travel in numbers want to come?” You ask as you to nod to your stolen truck.

“Hang out with the coolest deputy ever bashin peggie heads? Hells yes im in! Your like the coolest bro ever, i mean dude, dudette? You know. Uhh, yeah.” He said with a nod.

“Great, I remember something about a flamethrower? That would be great in times like this.” You say as you both get in “I mean if the worlds going to burn, might as well help it.”

“Seriously your like, the fucking coolest how did you end up with the popo?or this shit hole town for that matter”

“An absolutely terrible judgement call.” You reply With a laugh. “When my parents passed and left me everything i saw an opportunity to try something new. I had money to sit on while i did training and that for some reason i thought law enforcement. I mean i did some firefighting, was a paramedic and thought why not law. It ended up the town i had long lost family in, needed someone of my position i went for and got it.” You say the jail was close by now. “I wasn’t expecting a crazy cultists hostil take over on day one of the job.”

“No one ever expects the crazies, you just cant know how crazy they are untill its to late. Like we all knew they where crazy but not likeTHIS crazy. This is set your house on fire with you trapped inside crazy. Because thats what they’re doing ya know, litterly what they’re doing.” Sharky said with a nod “I feel bad because i may of shown one or two peggies how to make a flamethrower before i knew they where crazy peggies.”

“Dont worry Sharky, i wont blame you for that... If you dont blame me for my long lost family. Im, uh.. My last name was Seed a long time ago, before i was adopted.” You say stiffly not sure how he would react he looked surprised for a minute then nodded.

“No worries bro, we’re on the same team!” He said as he patted you on the shoulder. The prison came into view and it looked like it was through a war.

[tdrcycle09]

Mini Challenge #6 - Left To Your Own (De)Vices

For this week’s mini challenge, our sickening seven gave us makeup inspired by things that they indulged in. Here’s what they did!

Analyse Thropic | Alcohol

Hey jufgess its meeee analyze Thropicv and mY vice mjni chalemnhe i chose aclohol becaus it s v on brand for me and i also wantefd to drinkk to make thesre accesorise but i think i deank to much because thenb i starteed seeing douvble and i didnt kno wherre to put my makeuvpo on my facer n i was taking my picvitrs for the submissoin and i had to trhow up but i madde it in tim and tookk anothers selfie fro youuu i m gonna go textt my exes now byeeee

Lila: Ugh, I feel sick when I look at you, all those bottles and wine corks are making me think of all the days after hungover and being ill in bed. I think this is such a creative makeup honestly, i get that seeing double, beer-goggle like idea and its really fun and totally works with the connotation of drinking - a vice indeed! You did put a second brow next to the amazingly snatched on in the middle of your forehead, however your accessory kind of clunkily covers it. I do wish you made your pupils a little bigger as it kind of gets more of that wicked detail in there that when people get drunk, their pupils dilate a larger amount - however, I’m not pressed at this concept at all! Great job!

Letha: This is really cool, Analyse. You really created a concept and commited to its execution. You’ve got accessories, an outfit, even a toilet. I will say the technical aspects of the makeup sort of blunder for me. The doubled features mostly work (one of the lashes on the lower eyes is a bit wonky), but it just gets a bit too muddy/blurry in some areas for for me personally. That being said, it’s a really fun and creative look, good job! 

Toni: To start off I think this is a better optical illusion makeup than the actual optical illusion makeup you did before, because the extra parts or doubles seem so well done. I don't know how but the colors on the fake eye makeup seem so much more brighter than they do on your actual eye so I’d love to figure out how to make it the same. I like the accessories I think a little bit more time could have been used on them to really make them look a bit more interesting like you could have filled the bottled with dyed water just to add pops of color.

Avana Noir | Ice Cream

Hello judges and tdr community bitches! lets jump right into this! so for this challenge my vices that i usually have aren't rally physcial except for one...ICE CREAM. let me tell yall. I love ice cream so much. like bruh, Its so bad for me but A BITCH IS STILL GONNA EAT IT. so for this lewk I wanted to go for like a thing where I love ice cream so much that I have become ice cream ! This was really fun to do! 

Lila: HOLY SHIT. Coming from last week, I was coming into this mini expecting very little, but you proved my gay ass wrong - I love it. It’s giving me KAWS artist vibes with old school grafitti and honestly, without your heavy makeup around the eyes you look so damn beautiful. The outline of the cream on the white kind of spurred me to think you could’ve blended this out way, way more than you did, and I would’ve either painted your ears or even added some cones on your ears, get all Katamari Damacy with it because it’s super true to your aesthetic, just push it a lot futher than this. Overall, I love this, great work this week!

Letha:  Avana, this is such a fun look! It’s drippy, messy, and really makes sense with the vice you chose. The neckpiece is a fun addition, as are the ice cream cones. I’m not loving the plain boy hair, though. I wish you had either slicked it back and covered it in chocolate sauce or found some other way to incorporate it into the paint. But other than that, I really do like it, great job!

Toni: I wanna li li li li lick you from your head to your toes. Oh this is such a sweet look….get it….sweet? I really like this and I think this is a really nice step outside the box for you and such a creative paint. I do have issues with it thought. I wish that the colors were more pigmented, and that the lines were more defined and darker as well. I like the sprinkles, they were cute. I think instead 3 cones you could have rolled up paper and made one large cone and I wish you had a wig on or something other than just your boy hair.

Lexi Lamour

A vice, by definition, is an immoral or wicked behavior or personality trait. For this challenge I went with the latter and picked my competitive pride. Competition can sometimes get the best of me and I greatly apologize to anyone or any relationships that I have that I've let it effect in this race. It's something that I'm really trying to work on and grow from moving forward. One image shows my softer side/attitude trying to resist the competitiveness coming out, and the other shows the attitude of someone consumed by competitive drive.

Lila: This is such a beautiful makeup honestly - it’s simplistic in design, yes, but it hits home quite a lot. Vulnerability is a powerful state of mind that not many people get an opportunity to express, let alone express it too. I love the gold accents, really exciting and it got me twisting my head because I thought the coin was some sort of lense from a pair of sunglasses - it’s a coin! For me, your brow could be a lot sharper than it is. It’s getting a little blurred in this makeup, just throwing a little bit of concealer in a lighter colour and fix that up, but never the less, great job!

Letha: Heya Lexi! So this look is very interesting. I can see competitiveness as a vice so it makes sense, it’s out of the box and not one I would immediately think of. I really like the eye patch thingy you constructed on the right, it’s really fun and is easily my favorite part of the look. The hair is fierce for sure, it’s great drag hair. The other eye makeup is pretty good too, and the nails/accessories help tie the look together. The lip throws me off a bit, I think, it’s very shiny and not well defined. All in all, I like it, but I wish it had been pushed a little farther creatively. 

Toni: To start im glad you do have self awareness because sometimes the competition can get the best of everyone. I think this is a very pretty look but I think there's a lot more that could have been done. I would have liked to see the gold stars maybe dot off into your wig on that side even if they aren't stuck on but held on using bobby pins. I would have loved to see you try something like making a star shape out of the other eye with makeup to add a level of creative makeup and I don't think that lip is working at all, my suggestion for a gold lip would be to do a base color of a matte lip, maybe black,and then go over with a hold shadow to have the color there but still mask your natural lip shape.

Marcella Fox | Reading

Marcella has a lot of vices: red hair, metallics, triangles… But if there’s one thing Marcella can’t truly resist, it’s READING. I was so disappointed this mini wasn’t the reading challenge that I knew it had to form the basis of my look (Also, the real life male human who plays Marcella does have a bit of a book vice going on currently). I’m giving SHADY smokey eyes and COLD metallic lips, and my HARSH expression is saying “Everything about me is better than you”. Brows, earrings, fascinator and boa provided curtesy of Aldous Huxley.

Lila: W o w. Breathtaking and absolutely clever, just call yourself Matilda henny because you psyched me up for this. It’s giving me like Elizabethan era which is probably the elements of your signature ginger wig and the ruffling of the paper pages from your books. Your face is just stunning and you capture such perfect conceptual images, so dynamic and graceful. ONE tiny *tiny* problem I have is something that was brought up with me last cycle - using glossy or satin lipsticks to overdraw always produce this visible crease where your natural lip ends - the way to overcome this is to dab a smidgin of highlight on this area to kind of hide the crease created by the lip and the skin. Overall, however, Excellent work!

Letha: This look is total high fashion, Marcella. I think the accessories, hair, and makeup really tell a story, wink wink nudge nudge. The metallic lip prominently displays your real lip line, which works from these angles as a sort of highlight, but I’m not sure it’d be the look from other points of view. The eyes are well blended, and you know how much I love blush so that works for me. I suppose my only main hurdle with this look is viewing reading as a vice. I think you were going for shade/reading as your vice, which I’m not so sure that even that’s a vice, but the wires sort of get crossed once you made it literary. I do still love the look, though!

Toni: Hello dear, let me start off by saying the shape you have created is very interesting and pleasing to my eyes and I do like your use of paper not only in acessories but as well as on your brows. I do wish the brows were placed a bit higher so it doesn’t look like you have garage doors because its throwing me off a bit and I wish you had maybe found a way to make it look like there were words (even if you made or got like a scroll work/ cursive stencil) and done that over your forhead or your chest, somewhere so it looks like theres writing on you, i think that would have been a cool extra deminison to add to the look.

Paprika

So I took a little more of a conceptual route to this challenge, and my vice was vanity cause im a cocky bitch. I made a lil planchette headpiece thing with a smashed compact mirror (6 years bad luck or some shit ik ik) and went for an almost demonic feel with the mug because I feel like the idea of vices and vanity itself is really dark and i wanted to give the like, “sinful” vibe bc vanity IS one of the seven sins. But yeah thats my look xoxo pap

Lila: I love how editorial you are. You give me such an Adore Delano vibe in this challenge and you remind me of like the anti-Virgin Mary? While it’s quite an effortless looking piece, it’s just so capitvating to look at. One thing I want you to work on is trying different lip shapes. Your lips are always one and one, there’s no cupid’s bow! Try experimenting with this and I’m sure you’ll find one that you’re attracted to. Overall, great job with this!

Letha: Paprika, this is a pretty look, and I can see “vanity”, but it’s not really the strongest for me, creatively. I think the headpeice is cool, but I wish you had brought the reflective elements more cohesively thoughout your makeup. I see you did a lighter color on the lid, imagine if that had been in the shape of a mirror, with your eyeliner being the handle with some filligree added? A highlight on the lips could have been cool as well. Things like that would have really helped elevate the look, which isn’t bad by any means, it’s just pretty simple. Your paint is getting better all the time, just remember to push yourself creatively!

Toni: I like your choice of vice because I think its one as drag queens most of us have. I think that the choice to do a darker look works in your favor because its something tht you haven’t shown us but over all this reads as lacking for me, i think a way you could have really amped it up would be to have covered parts of your face in the mirror bits so it looks like youre reflecting back at yourself and its kinda meta if that makes sense.

Phoebe St. Jefferson

Hi judges! For my mini I decided to do Survivor as my vice since I just can't get enough of trashy reality tv! I decided to incorporate the jungle into my face, and try to really sell my expression. I'm wearing my survivor buff and holding my huge ass immunity idol! Phoebe! She voted out her mom!

Lila: UGH. I wanted to win this season of Blood Vs Water how dare you ya little game changer. I love your props, it’s extremely cute and i love that this is your vice, however there’s not much creative makeup going on here. Your natural face is really shining here, however I wanted to see some sort of 3-D aspect in here on your face - look at your competition’s, a little bit of foliage you could steal from your university’s trees or flowers - just to kind of bring that little POP to your look. You know? The tribe has spoken, and it’s a good job at best.

Letha: Pheebs, when you were talking to the judges about your concept and you listed your plan of elements to include, I was really excited because there was so much that you could have gone over the top with. With the look as it stands, I’m getting more… “camp counselor” than “Survior”.  I think the hair and the makeup could have been wilder/rattier to more tell the story, which right now both are just a bit too tame/clean. Overall, it’s okay for me.

Toni: Phoebe… i’m not really impressed with this look to be honest. I think the issue here seems to be you focused to much on the survivor aspect of it, i think if you had just done “reality tv” or even “tv” you would have given yourself to get a much more conceptual and interesting makeup. Your eyemakeup and brow is pretty and constantly getting better but the vines seem to be a bit faded and the white could do with a bit out black outlining and I also think you could have done a wig so it has fake leaves and sticks in it to make it look a bit more wild rather than jsut using boy hair.

Sugar Monroe | Smoking

Hiiiiieeeeeee! :3 so, for this mini, we had to be inspired by our vices. Well, mine isn’t really a “good” one, per se. I smoke. A lot. And so I took inspiration from that to create this ashy, burned cigarette look.

*Sugar Monroe does not condone smoking children. It’s a filthy habit. Don’t start.*

Lila: Hello, Ms. Monroe! First off, a step in the right direction for me is the burn marks and scarring - really exciting and your makeup is always such a beautiful clean look. For me, personally, I think you could’ve draped some of the texture over the cigarette carton or something, just to make it more grotesque essentially. Loving the cleanliness of this, despite its punk-eqsue roots, and the black pigment on your neck gradiating out really adds so much to this concept. For me, more cigarettes in the hair would’ve pushed this a lot further and watching your colouration on the scar, but for me, great work this week!

Letha: Sugar, this look is…. Smokin’. Hahahaha bad jokes aside, I really do like the makeup. The elements you have, like the smoky eye and the classic lip, make sense with your vice, and I really enjoy the hair and the bitch brow. The cigarette eyepatch is o-kayyyy, not my fave part of the look, as it sort of covers up your burn makeup, which is pretty good, from what I can see.  Overall, good work on this, girl!

Toni: I’ll start by saying I like this a lot more than the first one you showed us because I think this one is a lot more conceptual. I’m glad you added accessories and I think they all make sense and really show the idea, I do wish there was a bit more of an ash aspect because if youre gonna paint it as a bad vice I wanna see the “bad to it”. I think the burns are a nice step into the pool of new and creative techniques and ideas from you but i need to see you diving head first into the pool for the main.

[maliciousunicorn]

hi i dont know why but i love being annoying so if you wanna see me expand on my tag rant from earlier and talk about fat characters please click under the cut. skinny or even average weight writers take a look, it aint personal but please,

[also im going to be using the word ‘fat’ quite liberally, a word i dont love but its easiest to apply. in this post its referring to all body types that are heavier (have more room for love ❤︎ ) than average]

holy fuck im gonna make this  a Big Deal because i just downed a whole mug of coffee in about two minutes so heres some things that need to be destroyed

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, rude demeanor, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the fat one

Big hulking powerhouse

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

y’all know i’ll add more if i think of it but lets just start because i have literally nothing better to do with my time

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

holy fuck....hoooooollyy fuck!! this whole??? thing!! where fat characters are the dumb sidekick needs to STOP!!! i mean, you’ll never see a main character thats not either skinny or buff anyway(usually, female and male, respectively) ((also steven universe is the exception to pretty much this entire post because they do multiple fat characters well, with diverse personalities and interests. crazy.)) and they usually just slap a sidekick on for a supporting role, comic relief and The Obligatory Weight Representation all in one for simplicity but. thats can stop any day now. constantly the Main goes off on some big quest to a magic world where the Sidekick can’t follow, and more than often they are, to use a particularly relevant phrase, ‘fat and happy’ and rarely question it. if they do, its a one-episode arc.

i mean i understand if theres only supposed to be one main character, but at least present it that way. dont kind of tease at a partnership if you arent going to develop the partner, fuckass. dont have fights and then make-ups where they bump fists and go “partners???(/equals/bros/team,etc)” “yeah, partners! :) (etc etc etc)”

its worth noting that this dynamic is mostly in male&male friendships because a girl who isnt pixie thin, heaven forbid, and a girl who has one best friend but not, also, a group of 2-4 other, less close but still “besties!!!” friends, ever comes to exist.

and then, in the same lines, we have

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

where, whoops, and a ha-ha, the Fat Sidekick drops their Food Item!! and, haha, oh look, ew, haha GROSS !! theyre still gonna try to get it back!! but? whats this, by accidentally throwing/grabbing at the Food Item, they defeat the Villain of The Hour and save the day!!!!! ahhah what wacky hijinks!

yeah, im sure you’ve seen it, or minor variations of. and can i just say? fuck this trope with a red-hot iron poker. seriously. its disgusting. theres other ways the Fat Sidekick Accidentally Helps, but its mostly by knocking something over, or sleeping. so, moving on,

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, questionable social skills, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the 'uncool’ uncool (fat) one

i pretty much wrote all of this in the title. don’t do it.

Big hulking powerhouse

fat people can be nimble, fluid, and elegant. thank you. goodnight. *drops mic*

*runs back to pick up mic* on a side note, skinny people can be clumsy but stop the trope where the clumsiness is cute and only lands them in the arms of their crush. clumsiness knocks shit over. clumsiness can cause damage and hurt feelings resulting from honest mistakes *sets mic gently down on the floor this time*

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

obviously, cooking/food talent is an applicable trait that can come from their background. say a parent was a chef, or they grew up having to cook for themselves. if you give reason and background as to why they talented in this area (which, frankly, you should do with every quality), it can be fine! but when your Fat Character (i mean, if you;re writing the trope im discussing rn, im assuming you’re dull enough to only have one chubby/fat character) is just, good with food. when your fat character is just, a good cook. when your fat character is just, able to tell ingredients by smelling something, FOR NO REASON, then you need to back up and fucking stop.

we may eat more than average but that doesnt mean it comes from just, wanting to eat. for me personally i eat when im stressed, bored, or sad, which i am almost always one of. its different with everyone though. many lorge people wont mind if you message them asking for advice on why they eat the way they do. some will. please just be sensitive.

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

this is. probably the worst. i see it most in younger audience targeted shows, granted, but the fact remains that when some character needs to make a crude remark for the sake of the plot, 90% of the time or more its the fat one.

and to the second part of this trope, fat characters are overused so much for dumb jokes they get abused to the point of disuse, to which the show/book writers respond with a single episode/scene/whatever where they show Real Depth™️ (usually over the loss of a burrito or some fuckery, but its connected to dead relative or some shit so they can be emotional without losing that Important Quality Where Food Is King), which is the equivalent of the writers picking up a dropped piece of steak that the dog licked, rinsing it off in the sink, and putting it back on your plate with a smile and a “here, kiddo. ready to eat again.” but if you were paying even a smidgen on attention you can see all the hair and dust still on it. and it looks thoroughly unappetizing. as it should.

here are some fun tips!!!!!!!

---fat people can have interests in athletics. like. jesus christ. i know this might blow some of your minds, but fat people can enjoy sports. and, even crazier, you dont absolutely have to make a joke about their being out of shape every time they take a step

try this: FUCKING SUBTLETY. if your characters go to a high school, maybe the fat character(s) and their friends all walk together when they technically should be running laps, and you dont make it look like an act of pity. (I.e., instead of ‘oh, F.C., want me to slow down and walk with you? :)’ try ‘oh man, F.C., running sucks and i dont wanna. may i walk with you?’)

---fat people can obviously also have sedentary interests. sewing, drawing, math, board games, i can go on. they can have all the interests all people have in real life

---fat characters dont always have to be motherly, give big soft warm flab hugs (though those are nice) and be protective. fat characters can be upfront, a bit mean, but still a good person/liked.

---fat people can be wanted!!! a character can have a crush on a fat person and have it not just be a comedy joke thing!! crazy i know!!!!! fat people can be involved in real romance where the arc doesn’t center around how great the skinny one is for loving them *despite* their body!!!!!!!! i fucking hate when it implies a fat character is loved *despite* their body!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

---ideally, their eating habits can be subtlely portrayed as part of their character. maybe they have a little more for lunch, or take two dessert. maybe in the background of their room theres a few extra food wrappers than their friends. (note these are things i, personally would support). If you’re feeling nervous about it, its better to not write any ‘signs’ of it than overdo it, but 99% of the time the key is it existing, but no one comments on it in the story,

---seriously, stop making every kind interaction about FC’s weight from a skinny character an act of pity. i think this is one i react especially strongly too because of my personality, but its important overall.

here are some horrible Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed disgustingly overall, maybe there’s a scene or two exception, but mostly. these fuckin suck.

Howard (Randy Cunningham, 9th Grade Ninja) <this show is pretty garbage overall tho so

Toby (Trollhunters)<this show is actually worth a watch, if you can stomach his portrayal at certain times

here are some lovely Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed pretty darn well to end this post on a good note

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

Hunk (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Steven (Steven Universe)

<<yeah there’s not a lot to go on for either side because fat characters that are actually relevant to the story are a rare find indeed>>

TL; DR!!!! FAT PEOPLE CAN BE LITERALLY ANYTHING!!! THEIR BODY TYPE IN NO WAY RESTRICTS THEIR INTERESTS, TALENTS, OR CHARACTER TRAITS

[pangkatze]

general thoughts and notes on vld s7

yeah im no expert man, i aint no storyteller either. im just writing down the thoughts and fix-it notes me and my friend thought up after watching everything within 5 hours.

some episodes are untouched tho, mostly from ep 6 onwards, but you can see for yourself under keep reading.

okay sO,

EPISODE 1: a little adventure

we can probably agree it was a mess? shiro was on the verge of possibly dying again, and we got this weird and unnecessary side skit with coran, hunk, lance, romelle and pidge looking for,,, whatever it was actually. them having this thumbelina like adventure was so out of place???? i mean, we got a dying man here folks, why was that a thing. the flashbacks from keith were appreciated though. i just really got a lot of whiplash from the conflicting story of side a and b in this ep.

EPISODE 2: the road home

i dont have much of an impression of this ep, which is better than a bad one i guess? the whole passenger bit was a little funny, and we got to see these odd dynamics. when things got more serious the transition didnt give me a headache either, so thats a bonus. (theres a little ‘chekhovs gun’ scene i liked where lance mentions elephants to the alteans and, lo and behold, you see elephants in episode 8 when galran fleets enter earths atmosphere) (im sure there were more things like this that i spotted, but im too tired to look for them)

EPISODE 3: the way forward

coran, coran, my gorgeous man, what the fuck did they do to you? you went from eccentric but seemingly capable to,,,, whatever the fuck you were in this ep. what happened to s1 coran that defended the princess with a fucking ladle and food goo, or the coran from s6 where he was able to temporarily fix the castles issue with a fuckin alien molotov cocktail. whatever happened, it ended up fucking over coran and made him into this, which is a huge shame honestly.

ezor and zethrid serving up unexpected sapphic vibes came from left field though. i love it. keep going, you funky evil lesbians. on the other hand, axca also got to serve something content-wise, and pointing out the fact she seemed to unconsciously orbit keith after he saved her was something i wanted pinned out and solved but not like this, honestly. i mean, the whole ‘true love’ joke was a step to far, really. either way, at least she explained her motives. but where did she go afterwards? (another note: its kinda weird that, with the time skip, in a sense keith was the least affected, since hes 20 and all that. its not a bad thing though, personally.)

EPISODE 4: the feud!

yeah, uhhhhhhh, fuck this episode????

almost absolutely nothing spared me from hating this episode besides keiths drawing efforts, and maybe the final round confessions, but good GOD thats all it had for itself. the only joy i felt in this episode besides that too was seeing pidge pull a front and murk bob from his bootleg scooby-doo doughnut floatie. 

fuck bob in particular

i mean, i know it was a filler episode, but dammit it couldve been something else entirely if it ended with pidges scene. you can call me biased with this idea since i avoid shows like family feud for the sake of saving myself from second-hand embarrassment, or maybe from the fact that i used to relate to an aspect of lance (that personally think got too blown up), but maybe if they got out sooner (possibly as a result of katie decking shitstain floaty-pants off his high ground) theyd follow the linear part of waking up in their lions and finding out,with courtesy from coran, that instead of some omnipotent asshole judge of ancient heroes, it was some deep-space intergalactic sentient-miasma or something that does weird mind games with heroic prey, and chose the paladins specifically for one reason or another. better than making him seem like an ally when all i wanna do when i see is face is shank him.

and with the time thats left in the ep after, our non-paladin passengers are updated by the team of this weird ass incident , before keith notices lance seems less responsive. (i was personally thinking shiro at first but then i realized hes in pidges lion, and it might not work for this next sequence) after opening a private connection to the red lion and asking whats the sitch, lance reluctantly admits to being a bit more hurt with that whole ”idiot” shtick in the feud sequence than he let on. recalling the moment from s3 with lance willing to step down for the sake of the team, keith, (albeit awkwardly, remember his and hunks talk this season) assures lance of his place and value in the team as a paladin and friend, which gets further bolstered by hunk, pidge and allura dragging both of them back into the conversation, maybe with light teasing and an (seemingly unnecessary) apology from allura for her ’rudeness’ from earlier. seems like a sweeter deal right? idk.

i just really hate bob dont mind me.

EPISODE 5: the ruins

[ill be breaking my streak of complaints for this small section of compliments so here it is.]

oh man, i actually enjoyed the beginning part of this ep, for once. i forget how big the lions actually are, so this was a pleasant reminder. the training sequence krolia made had, in a way, also eased me into the more battle driven part of the episode too so, while most likely unintentional, i liked it. hunk and kosmo interacting was really cool too and im so glad that was a thing, holy shit. and finding out kosmo wasnt even kosmo until now, and that keith didnt name him until the others did it for him seemed, pretty in character, actually.

now, the whole planet sequence wasnt as bad either i guess. kosmo couldve zapped away with more than one person (as shown before) , so why only keith? why not krolia too, if i recall, since she seemed to be next to him too, but i can be sure. side-boss diversion trope was a thing here with that druid ngl. allura’s deus-ex-machina powers dont get explained, just like a lot of other things she does, which im sad over, and think its too convenient sometimes. actually, now that i think of it, maybe im forgetting crucial info about her powers that have been stated before, cant be sure. (but hey it saved shiro and the other many times though, so i try not to be fed up with it much.) 

yes, i did in fact cry over krolia and keith separating, with the hefty L word, even, thank you for asking.

and thats about it. the rest of the episodes speak for themselves, though i do have to pick on the whole adam situation before ending this since, honestly im rather upset at that. a lot of people are. hell, i guess almost a good chunk of the fandom just done and dropped the series after that. i mean. it was so.... empty?we didnt learn jack shit about him, or his relationship to shiro. he just up and went.

 so. how about another restructure?

so base defenses are getting culled, not looking great. we know adam was the last one to die, so maybe in an attempt to save his own skin, he retreats. (maybe he does it in remembering the fact that shiro is alive and somewhere out there, that makes him change his mind. in the end he wants to see him again.) whether he gets back to the base, but gets seized for defying admirals orders, or whether he hides out and somehow survives long enough to be part of the small resistance, i have yet to think through. but either way, he doesnt get chewed out as badly thanks to commander holt, whos aware of his relationship to our (re)tired space dad. this is where sam and adam talk about the situation, then shiro. (this would be an opportune time to do flashbacks of them, from adams view.) 

then shiro comes back with the others, and things play out the same with the exception that they both are alive and talking, instead of shiro facing a slap of wall dedicated to those who've passed. this is where the end results in them either breaking up amicably or reconciling their relationship, and they part either permanently or not, since shiro joins the debriefing and adam would do other things depending on him either being part of the resistance or a part of the garrison.

see? not perfect, but better than  being dead, id imagine.

i guess that about as much thoughts as i can regurgitate tonight. if you read everything, ill give you kudos for reading a strangers ramblings over a show.

but, honestly i wouldnt give too much grief to dreamworks for this. they tried, and it wasnt a purposeful offense, i hope, not to mention we’re a season away from closing this story. and im losing my train of thought so ill stop it here, but feel free to keep talking to me abt anything i missed either here, my ask or privately.