#im sure the gay people in my phone will have nice things to say

[fleuranna]

new buzzcut alert!! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🏳️‍🌈🆒

cis men dni pls

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

part - 1

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 4.1k

c/w - language

a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)

“Will you go out with me?”

When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.

“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.

Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”

“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”

“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”

“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”

Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”

“I’m for real.���

Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”

“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”

“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”

Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”

“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.

Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.

So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.

Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.

“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”

Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.

“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”

“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”

“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”

“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.

Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”

Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”

“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”

“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.

“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”

“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.

“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”

“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”

“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”

“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”

“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“

“I get it.”

Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”

“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”

Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.

“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”

This slide is titled ���Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.

“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.

“P, I don’t—“

“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”

Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.

“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”

“Yep.”

“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”

Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”

“And why should I help you?”

Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”

Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.

It sounds like hell.

Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.

Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”

She is so fucking gone for this girl.

————————————-

They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.

It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.

Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”

Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”

Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”

“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.

Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”

Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”

“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”

Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”

Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.

“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”

Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.

“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”

Every bone in Azzi’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”

Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”

“So…”

“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”

Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.

Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”

Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.

“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”

“…Okay?”

“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”

Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”

If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.

“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.

“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”

Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”

Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”

“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”

“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”

Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”

Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”

“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”

“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”

Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.

Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?

“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”

Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.

“I think that’s perfect.”

————————————

One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.

“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.

“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”

They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.

“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”

Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.

Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.

“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.

Almost.

Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.

Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?

Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”

This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.

“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”

It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.

If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.

“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.

“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.

“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?

“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.

Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”

Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?

Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”

KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”

“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”

“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.

“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.

“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”

“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”

“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.

During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”

“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”

At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”

“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”

“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”

Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”

Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?

“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”

Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.

“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.

“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”

Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”

For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.

This might be more complicated than she thought.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

[quodekash]

I could literally fall asleep any minute but im nothing if not sleep deprived and watching my favourite gay little shows!

hey nawa, I see you looking at guy as he struggles in the room on his crutches

you should kiss him

I think that you should absolutely just slam your face into his

give him another injury but its not really an injury it's just a hickey

(we're less than a minute into the episode and im already begging guynawa to make out, we're off to a great start)

we all know this is a complete lie, we've seen the trailers, we know what's gonna happen

but that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt my sad little gay soul

sailom what the hell

no way

no

you are not quitting school

is that a frikin letter of resignation or smth? can you even do that?

I love that solution and I wish it were a possibility but sailom's gonna say no, of course he's gonna say no, because the stupid bastard doesn't like accepting help for free

he doesn't understand the concept of FRIENDSHIP and FAVOURS

BITCH YOU CAN ACCEPT HELP, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO ACCEPT HELP, THEY ARE SO SO WILLING TO HELP AND GIVE YOU MONEY AND SCHOLARSHIPS AND PLATONIC LOVE AND H E L P

O4EKLGHNVWOERISDLGI HE MAKES ME SO ANGRY I HATE HIM

guy's right, and I hate sailom so much for it

BUT THAT'S THE THING, he WONT ask for help, theres no way in HELL that he'll ask for help

which is precisely how he ends up getting shot at, alone on a street corner, and why kang will have to rescue him on his bike, and why sailom will stand in the bathroom with kang holding a blanket over him as he sobs 'I have no one left'

its not that you have no one left. it's that you wont accept the help from the people who love you

(and also your brother kind of abandoned you and your parents are dead and your boyfriend also kind of abandoned you and yeah anyone would definitely feel alone in that situation so he's perfectly valid, but also ALL of his friends are offering help, his teacher is offering help, and he's accepting NONE of it)

HUG TIME

OH MAN IM ALREADY SOBBING

I LOVE MEANINGFUL GROUP HUGS SO MUCH

this could be one of the last times that they see sailom for a really long time. theres no way I could possibly be sadder holy frick

I SPOKE TOO SOON

WHY MUST THERE BE FLASHBACKS

WHY

I HATE EVERYTHING

y'know, I really thought he might hug him. but nope. he wrenched that pin off his shirt and took my heart in the process.

OMG

YES

THE PERFECT THING TO MAKE ME REMEMBER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE HAPPY

GUYNAWA TIME PLEASE GUYNAWA TIME

NOOOOO THE SCENE CUT BEFORE NAWA WALKED INTO THE LITTLE ROOM THINGY TO TALK TO GUY IM SO MAD

well, not really mad

mostly just sad

bitch wth

of COURSE he's not frikin doing alright

omg he's here too?

go talk to your boyfriendddd

and also ANSWER MY QUESTIONS PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU IM SO CONFUSED GIVE ME ANSWERS

awh :(

thank you krup ;-;

this man is lovely

not just for this but also just in general

but also his actor is the freaking DIRECTOR who is RESPONSIBLE for a LOT of my anguish so we can't be too nice to this guy

oh look at that. the shooting scene is right about to happen

I was expecting it to come later on in the episode but this works too I guess

who the hell are these guys???

they dont say a word

what the hell is going on

thank you kanggg

where did he come from tho

how'd he know where sailom was and that that was happening? did he just HAPPEN to be in the area?

or is he tracking sailom's phone just to make sure he's safe cos like he already got drugged once

hey man, have you ever heard of a little thing called dodgeball?

shocking, I know, but it IS possible for a gun to have been fired, and for the person being fired at to not actually get shot

I can't think of a single reason why sailom would make up this story. like sure you could argue that hes just trying to get an enemy/rival convicted, but he very explicitly stated that he has no idea who tried to shoot him, so it can't be that.

why the hell are you suspicious my guy?

acab is real man, holy frick

how do you know they're all fake tho?

maybe all of them were real reports and you're just an ignorant arrogant piece of shit who doesn't think people under the age of 20 are capable of being truthful

I hate this guy so much

OH MY-

NOW HES STARTING TO SOUND LIKE FRIKIN UMBRIDGE

I WAS IRRITATED BEFORE, BUT NOW IM ANGRY

deep breaths, deep breaths, in and out in and out, lets not destroy our laptop today

thATS WHAT I SAID!

I feel that

:(

im so sad man

oh would you look at that. ive been impaled.

yeah that whole scene was a trainwreck for me. I am very much not even slightly okay but its fine

OHHHHHHH

that makes sense

WHAT

ANSWER MY QUESTIONS BITCH

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED THAT NIGHT CMON MAN IM SO CONFUSED

the way they fall back into old habits, kang's arm draped over sailom ;-;

I ran out of images as per usual, BUT im halfway through the episode when it happened, as opposed to like ten minutes through, so that's a nice change of pace

[auraofbrightgreenandgold]

black/rosier family incorrect quotes

i have bronchitis and im bored so here yall go [also going into this, you have to be operating under the assumption that pandora is evan’s sister] [and i included lucius cuz i wanted to]

Lucius: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Narcissa: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Bellatrix: Waking up in the morning. Regulus: Waking up.

Sirius: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Evan: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Narcissa: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka. Narcissa: *upends the bottle*

Evan & Pandora in the back of Lucius's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Narcissa: We have food at home. Lucius: *pulls into the McDonald's drive through* Evan & Pandora: YAYYYYYY! Lucius: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Pandora: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Sirius: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Andromeda: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Narcissa: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Lucius: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Evan: Mental stability, my old friend! Pandora: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword* Sirius: Rude. Lucius: That's fair. Bellatrix: Not again. Regulus: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Regulus: Evan, why are you crying? Evan: This book is so sad!! Regulus, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Bellatrix: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Regulus: Is that a picture of you? Bellatrix: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Evan: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Sirius: No. Regulus: No. Evan: Didn't think so.

Bellatrix: What? I'm not aggressive! Andromeda: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? Bellatrix: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

Sirius: I’ve organized your messages into three categories. Sirius: “From Bellatrix” Sirius: “Death Threats” Sirius: and “Death Threats From Bellatrix”

Sirius: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Andromeda & Sirius: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Andromeda: We need an adult! Sirius: Andy, you are an adult! Andromeda: We need an adultier adult! Get Narcissa!

Regulus: Yesterday, I overheard Pandora saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Evan replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

[mooifyourecows]

moo i need advice. i’m gonna talk to my therapist n some other people ab it too but i’m taking all the help i can get.

there is a Situation at my work. i am a female presenting human at work and i have this coworker (we’ll call him A for simplicity’s sake) my age who was hired last month or the month before. he used to work at this coffee place in the same parking lot and spent his lunch breaks in my store sometimes so i knew him and we talked a bit before he was hired. i considered him an acquaintance bordering friend when he was hired. but some of my closer coworker friends told me last week that he said something like “i only applied here because i thought she was interested in me.”

i have been literally nothing but nice to him. i have never ever ever flirted with him or have done anything on my end other than just general customer service and coworker banter and conversation. i have had a serious long distance partner for over a year, best friends for 7 years before we even started dating. so when i heard he said that, after i clocked out and was waiting for my ride, i made it GLARINGLY obvious that i was taken in front of him (showed a pic of my partner to a coworker nearby him and did all my fun little gay jokes). it wasn’t directly at him but it was enough that he got the message. he knew i had a partner before this, but i just figured this would drive it home yk?

then after i left one of my coworkers texted me and said A was saying some MORE shit along the lines of “i dont care that she has a partner because they’re long distance and i want to take things slow anyway.” after i heard this i immediately went to my store manager to let her know and tell her that A makes me extremely uncomfortable and if it didn’t stop i was going to go to HR about it. none of this was said directly TO me, to my face, so that’s why i went in that direction. also this way there was a record of it and if my SM needed someone to vouch, she could ask the coworkers who he said this in front of. the night shift manager is now keeping him busy away from me when i work register whenever our schedules have an overlap which is good and the SM said she would talk to him and that if she heard (or heard about) anything else come out of his mouth like that, he’d be fired. i asked her to leave my name out of it, to not let him know that i said anything (ie, word it so it sounds like someone ELSE made the complaint because i don’t feel safe) and she agreed.

but last night he sent me a text saying that he wasn’t sure what he did wrong but he was told he did something to make me uncomfortable and apologized, explicitly telling me i didn’t need to respond to it because it was late and he had made me uncomfortable anyway (i blocked his number after that, i only had it for work related reasons in the first place but i realized i could use the store phone to call him if needed so it didn’t really matter).

now i have a couple options im juggling atm. one, show my SM the text and ask her what exactly she said to him to make him believe sending an “apology” text was okay. two, skip showing my SM and go directly to HR (which i really dont know how to do, id need help with that for sure). or three, talk to A directly (likely through text or in person with a witness) and see if i can get it figured out that way (only problem with this is that he got fired from his last job for yelling at THEIR store manager, so i’m a little spooked about what he would do if i confronted him at all about this).

again, im asking a bunch of people their opinions, especially my therapist about what to do because im totally fuckin clueless on the steps i need to take about anything. but u seem knowledgeable in dealing w assholery so it’s worth a shot to get your opinion too. idk. shit freaks me out and i would like to kick him very hard in the shins

Sounds like quite the predicament! First of all, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and taking precautions to ensure your safety. It sounds to me like you've made all the right choices so far, especially letting your managers know your feelings so that they can have it on record and also take steps to protect you.

I know its difficult understanding what is right in situations like this. Maybe your coworker doesn't have any bad intentions and just genuinely has a crush on you. We can't fault people for their feelings but we CAN establish our boundaries and recognize when actions overstep those boundaries.

The fact that he took your politeness for interest is not your responsibility. It's his and his alone. The fact that feminine presenting individuals have to literally put on a cold and distant facade to protect themselves from unwanted advances from men who can't tell the difference between friendliness and flirting is tiresome and unfair. And it's not your fault that he's decided to misinterpret your actions and words.

Again, MAYBE his intentions hold no malice but the things he's said and done make you uncomfortable and that's completely understandable. Specifically getting a job in order to pursue you based off his misconceptions is predatory behavior! Maintaining his intentions to pursue you after you made it clear you are not single and not interested is predatory behavior. Him not realizing that it is doesn't make it any less exactly that.

Good job reaching out to your bosses! Seeing as this is a workplace problem, it SHOULD be on their radar. It is up to them to protect you in these situations. I would advise against confronting him on your own because your safety is the most important thing and its not your responsibility to explain to him what hes done wrong. Even if he wouldn't try to cause you harm and this IS all a misunderstanding on his part, he needs to understand that his actions are inappropriate. No hand holding. Leniency leaves room for hope. He cannot think that it's all just a little "oopsies, better luck next time" type of situation rather than the literal workplace violation it is. If he thinks that this is a problem only because you dont like him back, he could possibly move on from you to try doing the same thing to someone new in the future.

He needs to understand that he CANNOT act this way with his coworkers. It's not just disrespectful and inappropriate, but it's literally against the rules, and to some degree, against the law. Sexual harassment comes in all shapes and sizes and the sooner he understands that, the better! Letting men get away with stuff like this breeds more and more audacity which results in more and more uncomfortable and unsafe women. It could even advance to literal assault.

My advice is to inform your managers about the text and see what they think about it. If you feel like they are too lenient with their response, then absolutely go to HR. in fact, it might be good to fill HR in on the situation anyway, just in case. I'm not super well versed in workplace rules but I think just letting them know what is happening now before it escalates could be beneficial. They might even take the time to reach out to A and educate him on the rules and explain to him how his actions are inappropriate. I understand if you're worried about him getting fired or getting angry at you, but I dont think they'd outright punish or fire him on this one offense unless he did something much more extreme.

If you're scared to contact HR on your own, you can ask your managers to do it for you. I'm sure they would be willing to do so. It'd be beneficial for them too, honestly, to inform HR of the situation before it progresses because them knowing and not taking the necessary steps to protect you could make them look bad.

Overall, don't worry about this guy's feelings. If he really intended no malice, then yeah it might be embarrassing for him, but your safety and the safety of potential future victims is more important than his male fragility! It's best for him to learn now when he still has time to correct his mistakes than later when he's already deemed his behavior to be normal and acceptable!

Keep your friends and coworkers updated so they can keep their eye on the situation and take necessary steps to protect you. Don't let A pressure you into speaking to him, especially without other people around. If he wants to apologize, he can do so with multiple witnesses, and then move on and do his work without pestering you again.

I hope that he learns from this experience and doesn't try it again with you or anybody else! He needs to pursue romance in acceptable environments, not at work.

Good luck and stay safe! 🖤 I'm hoping it all goes smoothly and you can put your concerns to rest soon 🌈

[beelatsstuff]

hi, so i made a story back in 2020-ish I think; it’s a story that i wanted to transcend to something more than me, more than itself… but I ended up not finishing it because i was embarrassed of the fact that i was “dreaming” of making it as a novel or such

im also not really open to sharing it to my friends because some of them can be pretty condescending and I don’t want them to give uh weird faces or grimace when they read my stuff (so it means they’re really not my friends. ?)

and this is where i thought i’d share the story i made

*please be nice*

here it is, please leave a review or feedback to what you think about it!

*first page

PERSONALITY #3

.G. A. N. Y

*first page

She wasn't always like this; no one knows exactly what happened to her. She was an angel sent, a well-nourished child, a dreamer. She was happy. It wasn't anyone's fault but hers. She turned into this half-dead creature, forcing everything to connect on her side. She did this to herself. And there she was, broken into chunks of glass, with an unarmed wound. will take a long time to heal, but will or will not.

CHAPTER 1 “Highschool”

10:00 am *alarm phone rings buzzes*

Gany: oh man, son of a hot fudge eater I don’t want to go to school AARRRRGGHHHHHHH

imessage

Lei: dude, did u finish ass on ap

gany: what ass… N O ?!?

Lei: BRUH alr im not doing mine lol

*@ SCHOOL*

Gany: Man, this shitty high school is filled with dumb teenagers. You can do this; you can walk alone and come in; it's not that hard.

Lei: Oh shit Gany, please shut the fuck up. People are starting to stare at you. Stop talking to yourself, dumbass.

Gany: Lei I can't help it, okay. I know that we're walking together to class. But sometimes I just feel really closed and alone. I can't control it.

Lei: Okay, chill. I'm here with you. I'm going to squeeze my arms into yours. You can stop shaking now.

Lei: Geez Gany, your palms are wet as a pussy.

Gany: SHUT UP let's go, were gonna be late.

Unfortunately, me and Lei don't have classes together, but he keeps me company. He is all I have after all.

Oh well, fuck life. always fucking me hard.

My favorite color is dark red; it reminds me of my blood. It's the only thing I like about myself. I have at least 10 liters inside of me, which is very convenient for vampires.

"Gany, Gany? Hello? Earth-a-Gany, are you there?" I heard Ady screaming his lungs out because I was daydreaming.

Ady is my seatmate in class, and he's gay

"Jesus Christ, Ady, it's 11:00 in the morning let me be, and besides the teacher is not here yet." I said. People always tend to watch me like how they would watch their pet. It annoys my soul, truly. I would love to be a shadow. They can see me, but they wouldn't do anything about it. I don't know why, but I always loved the idea of being known but having this barrier of privacy; unfortunately, this doesn't exist in the real world.

*bell rings* "Gany!" I heard someone yelling my name outside and it was Lei "Ayo bitch what's up" I said, "what you mean what's up?, Uh we're going to the cafeteria right at this moment." Lei insisting "bruh I'm not that hungry maybe I'll just stay here." "Oh please Gany, I know you've been waiting for my shadow to come up in your room so you could escape hell even just for 45 minutes" "Alright fine! Let's go, and after we eat we should go to the library," she says. "Sure, Gany" lei agrees.

[lifeinthegladhouse]

sometimes when im scared of being too effeminate and 'not passing', I think about all the wonderful gay men of LGBT history's past who were fruity pansy faggots and then i relish in the faggotry i once embraced when i was pre-transition, it would confuse and offend people who saw i was a "woman" and they'd PEARL CLUTCH, "b-b-but you're not a fag!" which was even more insulting but also slightly delightful. now i can lean into it again in a way which is nice. i often miss the boldness and confidence of my pre-T self. a lot of people say testosterone gives them more confidence, and maybe it could have, but transition has coincided with one of the weirdest most codependent times of my life... so for me I have withdrawn into my shell a lot, but I mean, I also moved states twice in two years and covid is still happening and ive been off and on employed and not had the money/resources for shit, so, hell, idk.

i still get misgendered, even on the phone, and a lot of times i forget that when people aggressively card me (im almost 30), it's because they can't tell my age for trans reasons also (and i have baby face and so do a lot of my family), and then they see my un-updated ID and kind of stare at me. this happened recently at a bar were I'm pretty sure the bartender was nb or transfem of some kind (and if she WASN'T well I sure as hell called it lol), and I didn't feel her judging at all, maybe just kinda realizing, but it was pretty funny to me.

Also recently a troll yelled at me that I was worthless because I was an effeminate man and I thought, finally, the iconic trans troll thing that happens where they cant tell, after 16 months, has happened! lmao

like thanks doll now with your validation i can be as cunty as i want

also i love tumblr bc i can still say faggot and shit i am SO tired of being censored, for the love of god, even the other day on reddit a gay man tried to tell me that 'butthurt' was a slur, i was like, it isnt, it never has been, and for the love of god, not only did i never think of what it meant originally lol, ITS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY STATE OF BEING...including me bc i often have ibs...

[askuemki]

Maybe i shouldnt of insulted it, realizing it it kinda looked like one of the tiny dinosaurs i have.. or gave out

Mann to have what they have tbh Good you aren't where I am then, it happens often here, to which I'd assume more newer drivers (or younger) would hit them tbh never thought of those, don't think i can think of any other ones If you have time to watch it, I'd say totally watch it!! Yeah Dina is Ellie's gf, love their chemistry together They can be interesting, but wouldn't want one as a pet or companion It's kinda nice to have smth to make stuff for myself, least most-ish of the time I'm content w/ the final product Glad you like it !! ugh I wanna go back to the idea some time and do a full scene w/ it (maybe w/ a few other ideas, I'd love to see people using my stuff as banners for their fanficion or smth) I FORGOT MY PHONE (app center thing) IS THEMED AFTER THE MOVIE AAAAAA yes ugh i love that song sm, I can never stop imagining two people (me and who) dancing and twirling around to that song Usually Im not a dog person.. but if I meet a dog that calm and friendly, I'd probably be willing to ask to pet it tbh yolo He said smth like the signs were obviously there (when i asked abt it i think), how i look at women, how i dress and stuff I was really giggly at the time since most of the time I do like hearing what other people think abt me, or notice I think I do...?? shorthair cut w/ earrings seems pretty gay to me When I had longer hair, I guess I didn't really look like I was gay, usually my hair was tied up in a clawclip someone did call me a mean lunch lady once, Im kinda bitter abt it thinking over it Jesus I hope men stop assuming people want them, and actually look for signs ugh.. I remember hearing stories abt how people were working at their retail jobs, and men kept unnecessarily flirting with them poor gals She does have a wife, so I'd assume so, wonder if I could get in contact with her but at the same time its a bit frightening... would teeny one-up it? Or would it just be better as a teeny tiny duo And abt the audio thing, did figure out how to upload it! There's just another voice there, and I wanna make sure the other gal is fine w/ me sharing it

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[fxckin-polkadots]

Hello! I don't know if you accept requests right now, but since Alphonso supposedly likes guys like canonically, can we have a any ideas you have for him in an mlm relationship?

i still do take requests yeah!!! and i didn’t actually know he was supposedly gay/bi i just thought he was gay coded 😭 but i do have a few!!! (since i’m a gay man who’s in love w/ him) and this request has made my day like oh my god you have no idea how insane i am over this man

An MLM Relationship with Alphonso Hargreeves // TUA

Master List

Warnings: mild body insecurities / Not proof read

A/N: I kinda strayed slightly from the ask; but not rlly pff, also i couldn’t help but add some angst im sorry 😭

Pairing: Alphonso x Male!reader

Synopsis: Relationship specifics - Y/N alluding to meeting Alphonso’s family one day

—————————————————————————

Alphonso has only ever had interaction with the outside world for about, what…5 ish years? sure he’s spent most of his life saving other people but he’s never actually spoken to them more than an “are you okay?” when he saves them from either a robbery or something like that, and his only actual friend in the academy had been his sister, Jayme.

This all changed however, when he got a boyfriend. Alphonso has never been in a romantic relationship before, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try his best to make sure you know how much he loves you.

He mostly shows love through poking fun/light teasing, snarky little remarks here and there. This is always usually followed by an equally quick comeback from you, which is a prelude to the banter that will go on for hours. In public he’s not physically affectionate, except for maybe holding hands. It’s not that he’d mind letting the world know that you were everything to him, but mostly that he’s afraid of what people would say to you about him.

The world isn’t nice to people like him, and he’s used to peoples comments on his appearance, being Reggie’s kid he has to have thick skin right? But it’ll never get easier being stared or pointed at. Even if it’ll never erase how the media keeps him under a microscope, always bringing up his scarring, the soft compliments he gets from you melts away the pain even for a moment. “You’re so handsome ‘Fonz,” “I love everything about you, y’know?” hearing this coming from his boyfriend - someone he never expected to have in his life- well, maybe he starts to believe it just a little bit.

When you do hang out in public, he takes you to his favourite locations in the city, and if you have some you want to show him, he’s more than enthusiastic to let you take him there. He also enjoys cheesy movie dates it he’s able to rent out the whole theater, he doesn’t want people interrupting his movie night with you. You’ve definitely helped him experience things he’d never thought he’d ever have (like having a playlist on spotify dedicated to him, he didn’t even know what spotify was until he met you actually)

However in private, he can’t get enough of you. You can expect a few pecks on the cheek, or a warm hug from behind while you’re checking you phone, his head resting on the back of yours slightly as he tells you he loves you. When you’re alone with him in his room, cuddles are definitely a must too, you are either resting on his chest, his arm wrapped around you, or he’s laying on yours, your fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. He’d never tell you this, but he appreciates the softer side of your relationship, where he can just relax for once.

For anniversaries he definitely spends a shit ton of money on you, like his dad’s loaded so he might as well use the old man’s money to make someone happy, however he doesn’t actually know what to get you. Since he’s never had an anniversary to look forward too, but you always tell him anything he gets you will mean more than the world to you.

Speaking of relaxing, most of that was spent at your place. Alphonso was much too cautious of his family to bring you over, and he knew that sneaking you in would be too risky, and as laid back as he could be, the thought of accidentally putting his boyfriend in harms way made his stomach turn. But he knew they had to know at some point, especially Jayme. And she’d figure it out whether or not Alphonso was ready to talk about you.

Luckily for Alphonso (or maybe unluckily) Fei had been keeping an eye on him, Jayme had made the point it was odd he was leaving more, especially without her. So Fei and Jayme decided that a few of her birds could follow him to see what he was up to. They didn’t know what to expect really, but him having a secret lover they didn’t know about was definitely not a possibility they had thought of.

So when ‘Fonz decided to tell Jayme, was then told she had always known and so did Fei because her birds had been watching him, Alphonso’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He made Jayme promise to not tell anyone and make sure Fei didn’t either.

“Too late fuck face literally everyone knows, plus why would it be that big of a deal? Ben goes through girls like clockwork, just because you have a boyfriend doesn’t mean we’re gonna dog pile you with questions”

When relaying this all to you over dinner at your place, you can’t help but giggle and suggest to Alphonso that you should probably meet his siblings personally sometime. He agrees, and now he has to think of a way to actually do that, but right now, he thinks he’ll just enjoy the food and your company first.

—————————————————————————

There was so much more i wanted to put into this but i literally do not know how to put it properly into words i am so in love with this goob

I HOPE THIS OKAY ANON !!! i’m glad there are other alphonso lovers out there <3

[fandomlit]

hotch’s daughter (various!criminal minds x reader)

requested by anon “Hi lovey I loved your thing w/ the team and Rossi’s daughter and was wondering if you could do something like that but w/ Hotch’s daughter and they all try to flirt w/ her (girls included)? Thanks if you do”

summary hotch finally brings his oldest child in to meet the team, which starts a small rivalry for your affections throughout the day. but little did they know...

a/n for sure one of the longer things i’ve written but i promise, the end is worth it ;))

gif cred belongs to @toyboxboy​

rossi had been getting his ear talked off by spencer at the doctor’s desk when you walked in. he had been looking for an escape the last fifteen minutes without being too rude to the kid. then, he looked up and found the easy way out.

“hey, mrs. y/n,” he said, leaning away from the doctor to give you a smile. when the rest of the team looked up, they were met with the gorgeous sight of you balancing jack on your hip, your smile graceful and polite and stunning. 

“hello, rossi,” you greeted as he walked up to give you a kiss on the cheek. “any chance you can guide me to my dad?”

“of course,” rossi nodded, and you hooked your free arm with his as he started leading you up to hotch’s office while engaging in some small conversation.

“that’s hotch’s daughter?” emily said in partial shock, eyebrows raised.

“i didn’t know hotch had a daughter,” derek scoffed, eyes never leaving you.

they all watched you and rossi walk to your father’s office. you entered without knocking, giving your father a smile as rossi walked to his own office. “she’s incredibly beautiful,” spencer commented.

“that’s an understatement,” derek contributed.

“no doubt,” jj added. emily was still staring at the door with her mouth agape. jj looked over and scanned her friend’s expression. “you okay, emily?”

“i didn’t have enough time to profile her,” emily hummed to herself. “if i had a little more, i’d know if she was gay.” jj chuckled.

“well, let me know if you find out.”

after about thirty minutes of trying to get work done, the team all perked up when hotch’s door opened. he was chuckling at something you were saying, him now holding jack in his arms.

“team, this is my daughter, y/n,” hotch introduced finally. “and you all know jack.” you gave them a wave and a smile. “y/n, this is derek,” the man gave you a charming smirk, “jj,” the blonde smiled politely, “emily,” the girl wasn’t even attempting to hide her checking you out anymore, “and spencer,” the doctor gave you a shy wave.

“it’s lovely to meet you all,” you nodded. “good to know my father’s in good hands.” they chuckled as you gave them another smile. hotch’s phone rang and he sighed, giving you and them a nod before taking off down the hall with jack to a more private place.

“so, y/n,” you looked up to see jj had spoken, “why haven’t we met you yet?”

you gave them all a smile and leaned against an empty desk. “i moved out the second i turned eighteen and went to med school in california.” they gave you impressed looks. “yeah, full ride.” you gave them a wink that they couldn’t help but melt at. “but uh, after that i took an internship in san diego and didn’t move back until a month or two ago when i heard about the divorce.” they nodded with sympathy, but you simply shrugged in response.

“do you have a job up here yet?” derek asked politely.

you nodded. “oh, yeah. im a local m.a., not too far from where my dad lives. i figured it would be nice to be a part of my little brother’s life, you know?” they all nodded.

“how are you liking quantico?” emily asked, still giving you that flirtatious look that made you blush and smile shyly.

“it’s a beautiful town,” you nodded. “admittedly, i haven’t gotten to see too much of it yet, what with work and jack. but there’s plenty of time for that.”

“i’d love to show you around some time, if you’d like,” emily smiled. you blushed again, but before you could answer, hotch came back.

“all introduced?” he asked with a sigh. they all nodded. “great. get back to work.” he lead you back up to his office, where you gave emily a quick glance before shutting the door. the girl was biting her lip with a smile. she looked around to see the team all giving her incredulous looks.

“what? she’s cute.”

later that day, derek found you making two cups of coffee in the break room.

“someone’s got a sweet tooth,” he said, watching you pour a third packet of sugar in one of the mugs.

you giggled, looking up with a smile that he easily returned. “and that someone’s my dad.” he chuckled as you stirred the steaming liquid.

“so what was it like, growing up with aaron hotchner as your dad?” he asked, getting out a mug to make himself a cup. 

you shrugged, moving to pour some coffee in his cup without saying a word. he gave you a smile as thanks as you said, “he’s a good dad. little strict with all my high school boyfriends, of course, but otherwise he was comforting and very loving.”

“bet you had a lot of boyfriends in high school,” derek chuckled, taking a sip from his mug.

you gave him a smile. “bet you had a lot of girlfriends, derek.” something about the way you said his name made him feel cocky.

he shrugged. “what can i say?” you laughed with him before going to take your father his coffee.

“emily, right?” prentiss turned around to see you standing behind her desk with a small smile. she gave you a grin and nodded.

“prentiss.”

“emily prentiss,” you tried, walking closer to her. “i like it.”

she gave you a smile, leaning back in her chair as you perched on her desk. “has anyone told you you have very pretty eyes?” she inquired. you flushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears. “i’ll be the first to admit, im a little curious of you, y/n.” you tilted your head. “i just think there’s a lot i could get to know about you.”

“well,” you drawled, “you are a profiler.” she let out a small laugh. “profile me, emily.”

she looked you over with a smile. “you wear a ring on your right ring finger. at passing glance, someone may think ‘sure, she’s taken’ but in reality, it’s common in people who are dedicated to their jobs.” you looked down at the small silver band as she continued, “and speaking of your job, i get the sense that you went into the medical profession because of your dad, right?”

“yeah,” you confirmed, still smiling gently. “got sick and tired of seeing him all beat up.”

“so when you felt powerless over that as a child, you wanted to make sure you weren’t powerless when you were an adult,” she concluded. she gave you a look. “good enough?”

“perfect,” you complimented. she was about to propose that date again when your father called you over.

“y/n, can you come watch jack?”

“yeah,” you said, standing from emily’s desk and smoothing out your skirt. “i’ll talk to you later, emily.”

she watched you walk away with a confident smile.

you had been sitting in hotch’s office with the door cracked, holding jack as he slept in your arms. you had a book in one hand and your other supporting your sleeping brother whehn jj had peeked in to give hotch some paperwork. with your father nowhere in sight, she was greeted by that pure sight instead.

“you know,” jj started, walking into the room and grabbing your attention, “they say there’s something to be said about women who are good with children.”

“do they?” you hummed as she placed a stack of papers onto hotch’s desk. she gave you a smile and a nod. “then im sure there’s something to be said about women who are communication liaisons, no?”

“im sure there is,” she hummed as she walked out of the room, leaving you with a smile as you returned to your book.

“i think im gonna ask her out,” derek nodded, sitting on the edge of jj’s desk near the end of the day.

“like hell,” emily scoffed, sauntering over with her arms crossed. “remember when i already did this morning?”

“and did she give you an answer?” derek shot back. “yeah, that’s what i thought.”

“maybe we shouldn’t be trying to go for our boss’s daughter at all,” jj proposed. they all considered as penelope came walking up, a file in her hands.

“who? y/n?” the computer tech questioned. they all confirmed. penelope shrugged, “well, it’s too late for that.” they all gave her a questioning look. she simply pointed toward hotch’s office. they all followed her finger.

they watched reid walk up and give you a quick kiss and smile. their jaws dropped as he slid an arm around your waist and you lifted your purse onto your shoulder. you both started down toward the doors, where you would have to pass the team in the process.

“thanks for the warm welcome today, guys,” you said, giving them all smiles. spencer smirked unbearably at your side, absorbing the glares and shocked looks of his coworkers and friends. “i really appreciate it.”

they all nodded and muttered. spencer stopped right after you had walked past them. “oh, here, i forgot something.” he handed you the keys to the car. “you go start the car, i’ll be out in a second.” you nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

spencer turned around and quickly went to his desk, opening a drawer and taking out a small jewelry box, which they saw was fit for a nice necklace. as he walked past the team he said, “night, guys.” they were no longer looking at him. just as he passed them, he turned again, “oh, and one last thing.” they looked up to meet his smirk. “checkmate.”

[organic-guacamole]

this is a dumb excuse but last night I was showing my sister how to type with a Korean 10 key keyboard and then hit my phone stuck on it and that's why I'm late...

HSMTMTS SEASON 3 EPISODE 8 REACTION

yay jet doing the recap

before this disaster begins I just gotta say I love the background music at the start. the stringy rendition of shallow lake is so nice.

ON 3 OR AFTER 3!!!!! if this finale has any more callbacks I will not stop screaming

imagine if ricky did get a heart attack though...🤔

not saying he should but like, it would be original (unlike a certain recycled love triangle plot)

my best friend is old enough to vote now too and it's actually insane

but this isn't about me, BIG RED YESSSSS

how'd he come though, Ricky stole his car 🤨🤨🤨

JET

idk what's happening now, it would be cool if they fleshed out Jet and Ricky some more but they didn't so now it's awkward the way Jet is asking Red.

AND ASHLYN IS STILL JUST STANDING THERE? HUH? MOVE GIRL

EJ I love you.

"where's Gina" *punches pillow, mattress, wall, door-*

no wonder EJ his busting his ass to make sure the show is perfect. Ricky is the male lead and doesn't know the name of the kingdom in frozen? chile please

miss Jenn? do people not have other things to do in this show (me being petty about every little thing because I'm pissed about the storylines of this season)

why are all these elders jumping in the kid's solo smh smh

GO ASHLYN WEEEE

Channing showed up with like 20x more gay and he's so cute

why would they livestream this wth

shut up Richard, I'm so tired of his snarky comments this whole time

DUDE THE WAY THEY ALL TURNED ON EJ IMMEDIATELY I CANNOT STAND THIS SHOW

and then don't apologize for assuming he'd throw them all under the bus after the 2 weeks of him working so hard to make sure they excel I'm so angry I'm gonna cry

Nini? I'm not even surprised atp

she's not coming back.

"these things don't go away in a night" THANK YOU KOURTNEY

why is the crowd laughing so hard I do not understand (nitpicking)

thanks Channing 🧍🏽‍♀️

I know redlyn won't break up but it's scaring me.

not the sign saying no spitting in the middle of the emotional scene between Alex and Kourtney

SUPERNOVA GSHEGSHSHSAJBA I LOVE THEM

no Channing not now

why does Nini have to stand there, isn't it more conspicuous than sitting in the audience?

yes Gina beat that man to the ground

I LOVE KOURTNEY SO MUCH

I'm so happy rn.

bORN TI BE BRAVEEWE I KNOW WHO I AM INSIDE AND I WONT APOLOGIZE WOOOOOO

"we missed you so much this summer" literally no one thought about her (petty guac is back)

Channing is such a fun character, his dialogue is almost always hilarious

and now EJ has to witness THIS. seriously just twist the knife in his heart atp

I love Val why isn't she in season 4😔 (Actually no cuz then they'd ruin her character)

*marches down the path with lanterns and pitchforks* KILL CASH CASWELL KILL CASH CASWELL

EJ deserves so much more than they give him and I'm so upset that not only did he lose the girl he really liked, but also can't even get his dad to say something as simple as "you're not a disappointment"

seriously. born to be brave is just making me nostalgic for s1 and I can't handle that rn

Not Ms Jenn actually being in hsm, didn't Mr Mazzara prove that she wasn't? anyways um

just like that? Corbin switches sides? redemption?

why is miss Jenn pulling every 40 something man in this show

is it just me or does Ashlyn have the bi colours in her hair

EJ SIGNED AS ELTON IM SCREAMING

I hate the last day of camps like this, I've been to 2 and I cried so hard whole waiting for my ride, like those people you just spent days and nights with you might never see again but the bond is just so ✨

BRO LOOK AT THIS? WHEN THEY FOUND OUT NINI WAS THERE DID YALL SEE RICKYS FACE? HES NOT OVER HER (not in the sense of wanting to be with her still, but just not over that relationship and probably craving that feeling again. hence lily and now Gina? why why why should they be the rebounds for him and why is the narrative making it seem like a good thing.)

like this guy that has had his eyes on Gina and only Gina for months is not right for her! fine! but does that automatically make Ricky, the guy who is like the opposite of boyfriend material bc of where he is in life rn any better? no???

NOT THE TIME SKIP

I also just realized this is the longest hsmtmts episode to date, that's cool, literally what we've been begging for since s2 but sure.

no stop. that documentary is not complete within 1 month, no way. especially not after what they said about in a month the trailer will come out.

BRO CARLOS' DRESS??????

and can we talk about the meta-ness of this? what show am I even watching rn? hsmtmtsftmtd?

OMG EVERYONE IS SO HOT

"ok Ricky Bowen and you're watching Disney plus" *does the wand movement* ain't no way son

oh no it's gonna have the Ricky confession scene isn't it

oh jeez not the reality show edits

OMG WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO CARLOS IM CRYING

love how jet's own can't even be excused by some editing

this show has gone off the rails but the documentary trailer is killing me

the awkward shots of Ricky grinning at the camera while Gina says that she wants one thing I'm dying I'm deceased yes.

BIG RED IS BI WE KNEW THIS BUT ITS CANON NOW WOOHOOO (why he got an interview segment? no idea)

"good for him" so true

EJ my man... *shoulder pat*

oh Rina is still gonna happen?

hm

no jeez why is it always the girl confessing to Ricky

SHE DID NOT JUST USE PART OF HER BREAK UP WITH EJ TO CONFESS TO RICKY. IM BACK TO HATING THIS SHOW.

SHE ALREADY CONFESSED DURING THAT FLASHBACK SCENE AT THE S1 CLOSING WHAT WHAT WHAT

HES 18 TOO HOW COULD SHE USE THE FACT THAT EJ'S AN ADULT AND MOVING FORWARD AGAINST HIM WHEN RICKYS ABOUT TO DO THE SAME?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG

NO STOP ICKY EW GO AWAY

nonono, don't get me started

[cator99]

We went to a pool party at some guy's apartment afterwards and I invited my gaycel friend to join us so he could finally make friends with some other gay men or at least get used to their company (he has literally never been friends with another gay man. Or any men period. He doesn't know how to act around them. I thought it was just the starstruckness of it all the other night and that was absolutely a large part of it but its dawning on me just how dire the situation is... he doesn't really know how to socialize with men at all, period, without acting weird or looking like he's fearing for his life and I get it literally like lol but when we're alone he talks a lot about how he wants a relationship and love... and that requires learning how to interact with other gay men who statistically really aren't the ones u have to worry about assaulting u... especially if u only hang around the ones who ppl can vouch for ykwim... there are solutions)... he showed up lookin all fucked up and wearing an ill-fitting camo tank top, tie dyed blouse, shiny navy basketball shorts, a bass pro shop hat, and a brown fanny pack. He frequently does this thing where, because he is fem but is insecure about it, he tries to drown it out with this irrideemably tacky bullshit like im sure he knows he has a pretty face and maybe he doesnt want people to see that or notice that his mannerisms are "dainty" but my god please just accept yourself and stop dressing so disorienting... like he "jokes" about being a closeted trans woman and like ok do what u want i don't give a shit but if u think the only options you have are either to transition in order to feel confident wearing dresses and makeup, like I know he does, or to reject your desires to look a certain way by making yourself look so ridiculous and tragic and ugly... those are not the only choices u have jesus fucking christ... so defeatist... he is very much the archetypal "closeted trans woman" in that way but I don't think he will ever cross the line at least not until he gains more confidence. Anyways I told them a bit about him prior to his arrival and they were sympathetic because yeah its hard being an "obvious gay" (the type who never had to come out... ykwim) since childhood and from a place where there are literally no out gay people... but when he showed up lookin like that.......he turned away and one of the queens looked at him and then looked at me like "what the fucking hell is this!!?!" and i literally had to mouth "BE NICE" to her like omfg yes she had every right to judge but listen... I help because it personally offends me to see a gay who isn't slaying. He then proceeded to sit down, not introduce himself to anyone, and play on his phone. Like.... ok.........I went in the pool to hang with my friends, but after a bit I put him on the spot for coming all the way out here just to play on his phone and convinced him to join us, but when he got in he just stood there staring like 😐 Girl..... at least say hi tell them your name ask how they're doing they don't bite in fact they're very nice... he looked about ready to piss himself... he didn't stay for very long at all..... but then we went out clubbing lol 😋💅

[bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare]

It Doesn’t Matter What They say [Corpse Husband]

Hey! This is my first time doing something on Tumblr. If you’d like, go to my Wattpad because thats where this story comes from! Also, sorry if its not accurate. Im still knew to the Corpse_Husband fanbase and the people the people he is seen playing with (-Cr1tiKal and Pewdiepie] and im not familiar with personalities 

Summary: No one knew of Corpse and Y/Ns relationship. Until Corpse thought it was a good time to reveal it and maybe to make the people who simp way too much over him calm down a bit. he thought it was a good idea, so did Y/N. But the fans were not happy..

-------------------------------------------

Corpse really loved Y/N. He loved her so much that he let her see his face- a week after they met. They met online through Twitter and became best friends, and they totally hit it off. Y/N made Corpse happy, and he trusted her with all his life. Y/N was small, cute, and innocent. She had a soft high pitched voice and was short. She was the exact opposite of Corpse, and that's what he loved about her. He loved when she wore his hoodies, they were always way bigger on her and the sleeves went over her hands. He loved how kind she was. Y/N was a sweetheart, and Corpse didn't know how he was able to score this hard.

Y/N really loved Corpse. He loves so damn much it might kill her. She was happy she got her phone fixed after it stopped charging, if she didn't this wouldn't have happened. They became best friends and hit it off, and she loved when she made Corpse smile. She knows his real name- but calls him Corpse because that's what he prefers. She knows his birthday, his favorite foods, his favorite songs, his personality, how to cheer him up, she knows everything. She loved Corpses deep voice and how it soothed her to sleep. She loved how tall he was compared to her. She loved sitting on his lap while he made his videos and did his streams. He loved wearing his warm hoodies and snuggling up to his chest after long days. Corpse was the best, and Y/N didn't how she was able to score this hard.

Corpse and Y/N thought it would be a good idea to reveal their relationship to the world.

So they did.

In his last stream, he was playing Among Us and decided to tell everyone about Y/N. His exact words were "Guys by the way, I think it's pretty important to tell you guys that I now have a girlfriend. Her names Y/N, and shes the sweetest little thing."

"I'm not little!" Y/Ns voice rung out from behind him. She was sitting on his bed watching him play. Everyone he was playing with freaked out at how soft and high pitched her voice was.

"Her voice is the exact opposite of Corpses, how is this possible?" Felix said with a laugh.

"How can a demon score with an angel?" Charlie commented.

"She sounds so cuuuute!" Poki said, already falling in love with Y/N even she never heard her voice.

"Awwe now I feel lonely." Sykkuno said, sending a sad face in the chat which made them all laugh.

"Nice to meet you all!" Y/N said, walking over to sit on Corpses lap. She was wearing a familiar black hoodie that was way too big on her. Hmm.. wonder whose it is.

"Wha- are you wearing my hoodie again? I was looking for it all over." Corpse had a smirk plastered on his face and looked Y/N over. She was wasn't wearing any pants- but she knew that smirk meant he was just teasing her, they don't make love very often. They just have late night cuddle sessions and kisses.

"I hid it from you so I can wear it." Y/N said a little sheepishly. She was a little awkward talking to Corpse like this infront of everybody. But by how his friends greeted her, she knew they liked her. She was sure the fans would like her as well.

"Wow. You know I was very cold without that hoodie. I had to wear this plain white t-shirt that made me even more cold." Corpse shook his head in a teasing way. Though Y/N was very soft and innocent, so she thought he was being serious for a second.

She frowned, "I'm sorry! I'll give it to you now-" She started to take it off but was stopped by Corpse.

"Ay ay ay ay- no no no, it's fine I was just joking Y/N." He chuckled, hugging her tightly.

"How is she so pure?" Toast muttered, sitting there in disbelief.

"Shes so innocent." Aoc chuckled, already liking this Y/N girl. She really wanted to play a game of Among Us with her, she seemed like such a nice girl to play with.

"Corpse you better treat her like a queen or I swear to god I will-" Charlie was cut off by Sean.

"SHe sound so perfect for Corpse, I'm for ya dude." Sean said, knowing what to come with that sentence.

"Oh how dare you cut me off. I was about to speaks of wisdom!" Charlie said.

"You were about to say profanity. We need to protect this bean we know as Y/N" Poki said.

Charlie sighed, "Fine. But you better expect a fucking DM Corpse!"

Y/N decided to play along with this, She looked curiously at Corpse and said "Babe? Whats fucking?"

There was audible gasps, and Corpse looked at her in complete and utter disbelief. His little innocent bean just said the no no word, it was forbidden in her vocab.

"CHARLIE!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"NOOOooOOOOOOO!"

"DON'T TAKE HER INNOCENCE!!"

"pretty sure Corpse already took it if you know what I mean."

"Ew what the f--feck?"

--------

It was a fun night for Y/N and Corpse. Y/N enjoyed her time talking to the others and studying Corpses strategies as an imposter. She was excited for when she was gonna be able to play with them, she really looked forward to it. After the stream, Corpse went to record a video reading some more fan written horror stories. Y/N went and laid on the couch, waiting patiently for her boyfriend to finish up his recording- which was going to be a while. She scrolled through her phone, watching a few of Corpses videos and looking at photos of them on her camera roll.

But she made a mistake by going on Twitter.

"Corpses gf is so fake lmao"

"Y/N does not deserve Corpse! Shes sounds like such a bitch"

"I hope @T/N and @Corpse_Husband break up. I hate their relationship already 😭"

"Y/N sounds like a hoe and isn't worthy of Corpses time."

"I bet Corpse is so tired of @T/N lmao. its obvious in his voice loooooooool"

"I hope Y/N dies so i can get a piece of deep daddy 🤩🥰"

"I already hate Y/N and I haven't even seen her in any other vids XD"

"Yoo they sound like they hate her lol. I bet they're just putting on an act to make her feel better about herself."

The DMs, messages, and comments on her posts were even worse..

"You don't deserve Corpse. Fuck off hoe."

"You aren't worry of Corpses time."

"You're such a user."

"Bitch"

"User"

"I bet Corpse really hates you."

"I hope you fucking because Corpse doesn't need an ugly hoe like you in his life"

And they just got worse and worse. Y/N was shocked, why are they hating on her so fast? Does Corpse really not like her..? Is she really not worthy of his time..? NO! She pushed them away, Corpse loves you, and that's truth.

But even so, Y/N couldn't stop reading the messages. They were all so mean.. Only a few people stood up for her. She felt her heart break, everyone hates her... Just despises her! She felt tears run down her face. She cuddled into the hoodie, pulling the oversized hoodie her H/C hair. She felt hurt and hated, like no one wanted her, not even Corpse- the person who loved her the most.

--------

After an hour, Corpse decided to take a little break from recording and check on Y/N. He missed her soft voice and her cuddles, so he was on a mission to get just that thing. He stood up from his gaming chair and gave a nice long stretch and ran a hand through his black hair. He walked to his door, slowly opening it and quietly walking through the hallway. He planned to scare Y/N, and sense it usually takes him hours to finish his recording she wouldn't suspect a thing.

But when he got closer to the living room, he felt worry and concern overwhelm him. He heard the soft sobs and cries of his beloved girlfriend. He rushed into the living room, sitting on the couch and picking her up to hold her in his arms. "Hey babe- are you ok? Whats wrong?"

Y/N didn't say anything, she just snuggled into Corpses chest and hugged him tightly as she sobbed.

"Babe, you can tell me anything, you know that? What's wrong? Did someone say something that hurt you on stream? Wait- is it what Sykkuno said? Baby I'm not gay he's just a friend and you know that, it's just a joke that we're-"

"I-i-its not that.." Y/N muttered out.

"Then whats wrong?" Corpse asked, his voice full of nothing but worry and concern.

Y/N grabbed her phone and turned it on. She went on Twitter on looked up the hashtag 'HateY/N' and told Corpse to scroll through.

She watched as he scrolled through the tweets, and his expression twisted into one Y/N has never really seen before, anger. Oh he was livid. How could they say those things at his beautiful, sweet, and happy girlfriend? He thought his fans would support him and Y/Ns relationship. Why didn't they care?

He read some of the battles, some people loved Y/N.

"Bro stfu. Y/N is perfect for Corpse."

"lmao what? Shes ugly asf"

"Seriously? If you really cared about Corpse you would support him. Now fuck off."

Corpse pulled his own phone out and hopped on Twitter,  instantly typing a response to everyone who has been hating on Y/N.

He said "To everybody who has been hating on @T/N, my girlfriend. I love her with all my life and I do not like how some of you guys have been treating her. She has changed my goddamn life, and all this bullshit you guys have been spitting has made Y/N cry. So please.. just please stop."

After that, Corpse threw his phone onto the carpet and hugged Y/N tightly, kissing her temple softly. "It doesn't matter what they say, I will always love you Y/N."

[yikesharringrove]

Show Pony

Chapter 2: Legends Never Die

Read on Ao3

-

Billy was watching porn when Steve texted.

He’s never clicked out of a video so fucking fast in his life.

The message just read hey, this is steve :) which like, of course, the fucker uses little emoticons. Of course , he types out little smiley faces. It’s so dumb. It’s so cute.

And Billy just stared at it. One hand still on his dick, the other hovering over the keyboard.

What the fuck does he reply?

Obviously, Steve knows it’s Billy. Like. Duh.

So he just tapped out a little Hey.

Steve texted back almost immediately.

you have a good day? Billy found himself grinning maniacally, so he rolled over to hold his pillow close to his chest, burying his chin into it. He didn’t wanna deal with the fact that this stupid adorable cowboy was making him smile and flush. Stupid.

Yeah, it was nice. Way too hot, but nice.

lol try wearing jeans in that heat. sweatin through my damn saddle. Billy laughed into his pillow.

Jesus, you’re such a fuckin hick. Billy bit his tongue when he pressed send.

And Steve just sent back >:(. And God. He’s so cute. Billy. Hates him.

And then Billy’s phone buzzed twice, another brand new text from Steve.

One that made Billy’s heart fucking stop.

i have the day off tomorrow. no tiedown on the schedule. you should come by and we could hang

Which sounded like. A date. It sounded like a fucking date. And Billy wanted to ask. If Steve’s invitation was for a goddamn date.

But like, he can’t just ask. Can he? Is that weird? Okay, maybe he’ll just-

Should I bring Max?

Right? Like if Steve says to bring his little sister, then there’s no way it’s a date. Because, who would want their date to bring their little sister? People who are just hanging out as friends, that’s who.

was hoping it'd just be you and me

And hoo boy. Hoo boy. That’s. That’s a fucking. That’s a date.

Then yeah. Just you and me.

And Steve sent him another little :) because the fucker loves his emoticon smiley faces. They’re not even, like, actual emojis. Steve doesn’t take the time to use fucking apostrophes, but he does type out little faces.

And maybe Billy’s spending too much time thinking about the smiley little shits.

But, like. It’s just. It’s Steve. And it’s a cute fucking thing that Steve does.

Billy’s pretty much obsessed with him by now.

And maybe Billy should ask for, like, a time to meet. But he was halfway through a video and his cock’s still hard and kinda starting to ache, pressed against the mattress where it was. He rolled over, slid his hand back into his shorts, and wrapped his fingers around the base of himself.

So it’s easy just to, slide it up. Run his fingers along his length. Pretend his rough hand is Steve’s rough hand. Pretend the tight vice grip is Steve’s mouth. Hot and slick around him.

He could picture Steve, on his knees in the dirt, those tight fucking jeans beginning to stain at the knees, those big pretty eyes looking at him so reverently, so softly.

And he came all over his hand, pictured those pink pretty lips covered with cum. Imagined scooping it on his fingers, pressing them into Steve’s mouth, making him lick them clean.

It wasn’t even the most depraved fantasy Billy’s ever had. But it was for sure in his top five best orgasms. No doubt about it.

He wiped his hand on the sheets, turning onto his side, staring at the short little conversation with Steve.

Thinking about their fucking date tomorrow.

Max was on his ass the second he woke up.

She cornered him as he was coming out of the bathroom, making him startle and nearly smack her.

“The fuck you doing out here, Shitbrid?”

“What are we doing today?”

“ We aren’t doing shit all. I will be heading out. Soon.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, jutting her jaw in a way he absolutely knows she learned from him.

“Are you going to the rodeo?” she hissed through her teeth at him. “Are you going to see-”

“That’s none ‘a your fuckin’ business.” He pushed past her, lumbering down the hall, almost making it into his bedroom before she slipped inside with him, slapping his elbow and kicking the door closed.

“Are you going on a date ?”

Billy glared at her. He clenched his jaw, speaking through gritted teeth.

“Pretty sure we agreed not to fucking talk about this shit here.”

She pursed her lips, shifting her jaw.

“Just nod or shake your head.”

Billy kept his head very still.

She kicked him once in the shin before stomping out of his room, nearly slamming the door, catching it at the last minute, and closing it quietly.

Neil didn’t approve of doors slamming in his house.

It was rule number. Three probably. First rule was don’t be a smartass. Second rule was don’t be Billy. That was kind of an unspoken rule. But it was there.

And Billy was faced with his newest dilemma.

What does he wear?

Because it’s gonna be another hot fucking day, and his typical date outfits have more, more.

He’s got one clean pair of cut-offs left. Okay. Yes. And he puts on a printed button-up shirt. Leaves it almost all the way unbuttoned, because, like, of course, he does. He’s got a good body. He wants Steve to see it.

He’ll be mostly cool, and he looks better than he did last time he saw Steve.

Black Converse complete the look, and he maybe spends more time than he usually would putting his hair into a ponytail, using one of Max’s bright scrunchies.

She’ll get pissed if she notices it but. Whatever. He steals them from her all the fucking time.

He hasn’t looked at his phone all morning, figured he could head over to the rodeo, and whenever Steve texted, he’d play it cool and act like he wasn’t already there.

But, cowboy hick Steve was obviously an early riser. As the most recent text Billy has is from that cowboy hick Steve. At six. In the morning.

you wanna meet up around ten?

It was currently just past nine.

Does Billy head up there now and wander around the grounds for a bit?

Yes. Yes, he does. Because frankly, he looks gay as fuck in this outfit and he should probably dip before his dad sees.

He sends Steve a thumbs up and the three dots show up almost immediately, showing Steve typing.

you got a car right? can you pick me up outside of the parking lot? i gotta get outta here

And Fuck. Billy knows that feeling.

No problem. You wanna get breakfast? I know a good diner if you’re into that kinda thing.

hell yeah im into that :)

Ah, yes. There was that little happy face just in time to give Billy lots of nice heart palpitations.

Great. That’s what he needs. To get sappy and gross over Steve’s emoticons. Again.

He slipped out of his house without interference, taking a lap around the block just to kill time before setting off to the fairgrounds.

He was trying to make his car look presentable, shoving the few gum wrappers Max left by the gear shift into his pocket, brushing off any stray cigarette ash with one of the baby wipes in the glove box.

And by the time he reached the fairgrounds, he saw Steve skulking along the front of the parking lot, hopping over cracks in the sidewalk like the cutest little bunny.

It was the most adorable thing in the fucking world.

Billy pulled up next to him, blaring the horn and watching Steve startle at the sound.

He was wearing cut-off denim shorts like Billy’s, and a goddamn crop top. It had the silhouette of a horse on its hind legs, its mane flowing in the wind behind it, and Harrington American Rodeo brandished across his chest. It was cut just at his waistline, where his body nipped in right above his hips.

Steve smiled his pretty smile at Billy, just about skipping around the front of the car to slide into the passenger seat.

And Billy tried not to think about how fucking good Steve looked in the passenger seat of his car, those long fucking legs all on display, his thighs, thick and pale, covered in dark hair.

“Hi,” Steve was leaning with one elbow on the center console, putting himself in Billy’s space, and Billy was thankful for his dark aviator sunglasses, as his eyes went wide and probably panicked with Steve moving in so close.

Because if Steve was leaning in to kiss him, that kinda feels like a lot. And Billy’s not a prude, not by any means but he's, he’s got lines, and rules, and-

Steve just knocked his head into Billy’s shoulder, leaning back to buckle his seatbelt, like headbutting Billy’s shoulder was casual and normal.

And fuck.

Billy’s in so deep for this guy he barely fucking knows.

All he could do was push the car forward, and will away the flush on his cheeks. And pretend like he hadn’t jerked off to the person sitting next to him less than twelve hours ago.

“So. Billy. Tell me about yourself.” Steve shifted in his seat, turning to look right at Billy. “All I know is that you’ve got a kid sister, a cool car, and that you’re really hot.”

Billy smirked, turning to look at Steve over his glasses, found Steve biting his bottom lip demurely.

“Well, there’s not much else to know .”

“Oh, come on. Where are you from? How old are you? Shit, probably shoulda asked that sooner. Please, tell me you’re not fifteen or something.”

“I’m literally driving, right now. And relax, Pretty Boy. I’m eighteen next month.”

“Okay. Okay, good. I’m eighteen, by the way. Just so you know, that I’m not fifteen.” Billy shook his head, rolling his eyes with a smile. “But I still want answers to the other questions.”

“Well, I’m from here. Born and raised in San Diego. Uh, I graduated high school in May. And I work at the diner I’m about to take you to, which might be the lamest shit in the world, but they have good pancakes.”

“I like pancakes.” Steve was fiddling with some of the knobs in the car, turning the air conditioner up and down. Billy was just resisting slapping his hand away.

And then he reached for the volume knob on the radio, turning up the Ratt Billy had playing, and audibly scoffed.

“God, I should’ve known you liked this .”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Just, you know. Sex charged drug-fueled hair metal.”

“Oh my God. What in the fuck ?” He gave Steve as incredulous a look as he could muster. “Are you a housewife from the fifties?”

Steve gave one of his excellent bright laughs at Billy, and Billy’s gut got a little bit gay and a little bit fluttery.

“Alright, Stevie. I’ll bite. What kinda music are you into? And if you say country I’m blowing my fuckin’ brains out.”

“Well, unfortunate then because, yeah. Fuckin’ country, man. Although, I prefer folk.”

“See, you call my music sex-charged and drug-fueled, at least I’m not listening to posers rant about their tractors.”

“Oh, no. I hate that shit as much as you do. I mean like, Johnny Cash. Willie Nelson, you know? Emmylou Harris, Marty Robbins, Miss Dolly. The good stuff. There’s like, a few modern artists that are doing the same kinda thing that I like. It’s all just stories and good music.”

“That’s all my music is. Stories set to music. And, you say my shit is drug-fueled, you do know that Willie Nelson is famous for being a stoner? And that Johnny Cash publicly dealt with addiction and all that?”

“Well, yeah, but they’ve got class.”

“Okay, Cowboy. I’ll let you die on that fuckin’ hill while I party it up on mine to some eighties metal.”

And Steve reached out to shove Billy lightly, laughing while he did it.

“Agree to fucking disagree then. Just take me to pancakes and don’t try to reason with me about shitty music.”

“Then change the subject. Tell me other things about you besides your terrible music taste.”

Steve leaned back in his seat, blowing out a puff of air.

“Uh, I mean. Jeez. I don’t do much besides the rodeo, you know? Just movin’ all over the country.”

“That must be. Exhausting.”

Steve reached out to brush his fingers against the dashboard mindlessly.

“It’s not so bad. I try to make friends in the towns, you know? Makes it kinda fun.”

“Where were you born?”

“Indiana. Really small town. My mom and I stayed there for three years while my father traveled around. I’ve been on the road since.”

“Holy shit. Since you were three? Did you, like, go to school?”

“No. Uh, I actually have a tutor that’s on the road with us, and I’m. You know. Supposed to get my high school diploma soon. I’m behind schedule since,” he waved his hand flippantly. He was staring at his lap, playing with the frayed hem of his shorts. And Billy was grasping for another subject as Steve’s cheeks went red. Because obviously school, had struck a nerve.

“What kinda horse is June?”

“She’s an American quarter horse. That’s the usual type for most rodeo events. They’re good ranch horses because they’re a little more compact. I’ve been with June for five years now, and she’s a beast. I’ve got two others with me, on rotation so that none of them get too tired doing the shows over and over. June, Patsy, and Loretta. They’re all quarter horses, and each one is only about fourteen and a half hands tall. I like my horses a bit smaller for tie-down.”

“I understood, honestly, like, nothing of what you just said.”

Steve tossed his head back, laughing loudly over the radio at Billy’s confusion.

He laughed a lot.

Billy liked it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you rodeo slang. You’ll be a natural,” Steve said, reaching out to where Billy’s right hand was resting on the gearshift, wrapping his finger’s around Billy’s wrist.

“What about their names?”

“All ladies of country. Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, and June Carter. Carter-Cash, I guess. She married Johnny but had a career in her own right.”

“Jesus, you’re a fuckin’ hick.”

“You’ve said that before. Just because I’m in the rodeo-”

“No, it’s because you’re in the rodeo, and listen to country music, and wear fucking cowboy boots -”

“They are literally made for riding horses, okay? That’s why they were invented .”

Billy rolled his eyes again, but he was smiling brightly as he pulled into the diner parking lot.

It wasn’t too busy for a Sunday morning. Billy bets it’ll pick up in an hour or so for the brunch crowd.

He began working at the diner three years ago, bussing tables and washing dishes, getting paid under the table because technically, he was too young to work. He was a server now, usually taking the evening dinner shifts to miss that time when his dad was home from work.

The bell jingled above their heads as Billy held the door open for Steve, and Billy stuck his tongue out at the kitchen staff, leaning over the counter to swipe a few menus from the stack.

He led Steve to a booth in the back corner, waving at Lorraine, the older woman who was working their section, gesturing to the booth for Steve to take a seat.

“Wow. You’ve totally got this place on lock.”

Billy grinned at him, leaning against the wall to stretch his legs up on the booth next to him.

“I’ve worked here a few years. Kinda done all the staff positions. It’s a nice place.”

“Well, then what do you recommend?” Steve carefully opened the laminated menu, his big eyes flicking over the pictures on the side of every dish.

“Pancakes are good, so are the waffles though, if you’re into that. I like the full breakfast. Eggs, bacon or sausage, hash browns, pancakes, or toast. Kinda the best of everything.”

Steve snapped his menu shut, smiling softly at Billy.

“I’m trusting you with my breakfast here. It better be good .”

Lorraine approached their table, already pouring Billy a cup of coffee and sliding it to him along the table.

“You really love us that much you find your way in here on your day off?”

“Only you, Lorraine. Everybody else can fuck off for all I care.”

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at Billy.

“You want the usual cook-up?”

“Yes, please.”

She took his unopened menu, turning and smiling brightly at Steve.

“What can I get for you, Darling.”

Steve’s eyes were wide when he looked up at her, his cheeks starting to flush.

“Uh, just, the same as Billy, please.”

“You want a coffee?”

“No, Ma’am. Just a water for me please.” He handed his menu back, giving her a bright smile, his cheeks a soft rosy red.

Lorraine winked at Billy, nodding her head once in Steve’s general direction. Billy waved her off before she could say something embarrassing.

“Sorry, I get kinda weird sometimes.” Steve had pulled a napkin out of the dispenser on their table and was looking down at it, tearing off little chunks and rolling them into balls.

“That’s okay. Lorraine gets it. Plus, you were polite, and that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t be caught dead with you if you were an ass to servers.”

“Oh, God. My dad is such an ass when it comes to, really any staff. Like, servers, or, frankly, most of the people that work for him. Don’t even get me started on the animal carers. I mean, that’s probably the most important job at the whole rodeo, and he’s been trying to dock pay left, right, and fucking center.” Steve rolled his big eyes, huffing like Max.

“Wait, so your dad is like, the head of the whole operation?”

“My name is Steve Harrington,” and Steve pointed at his shirt, the name Harrington emblazoned over the horse.

“Oh damn. I thought that name was familiar when I saw the shirt. Figured I had just seen the rodeo name or something.”

“Nope. That’s me. A whole Harrington. My great-grandpa started the rodeo. He was, like, an actual ranch hand. Started one in the town we’re from. My grandpa was the one who got the idea to take it on the road. My dad came up through it like I did. He was in steer roping. And basically, his end goal is that I start running the whole show in a few years. Take over for him.”

“And, you don’t want to?”

“Nah. I don’t really have a brain for business. Don’t have a brain for much other than riding and tie-down, honestly. Don’t know the first thing about how to run a traveling rodeo.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

Steve smiled at him, but his eyes seemed sad, and his smile was tight.

“You got plans for next year? College or anything?”

“Nah. I think college is, on the horizon, but I’m taking a gap year. Saving up to move out and pay for school and everything. Probably gonna go to community college to save some money. And then maybe grad school?”

“That’s smart, you know? Finding ways to save up. My dad is debating pushing college on me. Like, if I do run the business, there’s some shit I should know going into it, right? But I think he also sees that I’m way too dumb for college, and, like, I don’t need a degree to get hired. I’ll just,” Steve made an upwards sweeping gesture with his right hand. A gesture that Billy understood to vaguely mean nepotism.

“What would you rather do? If not run the thing.”

“I like tie-down, and I could feasibly do it for a long time. I could branch into other events, too, like steer roping and all that. Same idea as calf roping but a different animal. Literally. It’s a steer. But I’d be content just doing the events until I croak. I have absolutely no desire to rise through the ranks, or whatever.” Steve rolled his eyes, balling up the little napkin wads he had made into another napkin from the dispenser. Billy appreciated it. He’s had to clean up crap like that from this very floor. “I just love being around the rodeo. The animals and all the people. I don’t really wanna be anywhere else.”

“At least you have something you love. Like, you’d be happy to do that for the rest of your life, and not in an I’ve got nothing better to do way, but in an, I’m passionate about this way. A lot of people don’t really. Get that.” Billy included.

It’s not that he doesn’t have passions, it’s just that they’re not necessarily sustainable to him.

He knows he’s dangling by a thread with his father. Knows after his eighteenth birthday, he should be ready to be kicked out or asked to pay rent at any time. He needs a career that’ll get him some fucking money if he wants to get out and cut off his dad entirely. He can’t be forced to go crawling back to him because he wanted to self-publish his gay ass poetry that never took off or drum in a rock band that went nowhere.

To name a few.

“Yeah, I mean. Sometimes I think that I probably would’ve never set foot in a rodeo if I wasn’t literally born into one, so I kinda wonder who I’d be if this wasn’t everything I knew, but I still really love doing it, and it’s something that I’m actually good at, which speaks volumes.”

They were interrupted by Lorraine returning, placing two identical plates in front of them, a glass of water for Steve, and pulling hot sauce and ketchup out of her apron pocket.

“You two let me know if you need anything else.”

Steve beamed at her, thanking her softly and Billy’s heart fluttered like a stupid idiot.

They tucked in, Steve shoving food into his mouth until his cheeks were bulging, chewing aggressively. It made Billy laugh and nearly spew coffee all over the table.

“I figured you’d have better manners, being the heir to a rodeo dynasty or whatever.”

Steve pulled a face, showing Billy the chewed-up food in his mouth.

“How’s that for manners?”

It was actually fucking funny watching him try to swallow everything stuffed in his mouth.

“It’s borderline painful watching you eat.”

Billy laughed as Steve flicked a piece of scrambled egg at him. It landed on his shoulder. Billy slurped it right off his shirt.

“See! Now, who's the one with no table manners?”

“Still you, Sugar. Still you.”

Breakfast was, like, actually fun.

Not that Billy was expecting it to be shitty, but he wasn’t expecting it to be as carefree, as easy, as it was. He and Steve just, kinda, clicked.

Steve was easy to talk to. He was easy to listen to, easy to laugh with, and even easier to look at.

He’s kinda, everything Billy has ever wanted in a person.

He slid his hand into Billy’s as they were leaving the diner, smiling shyly at Billy when he looked over at him.

And Billy stopped in his tracks, right there in broad daylight, tugging Steve by his hand closer to Billy’s body, sliding his hands up his arms, feeling over Steve’s shoulders, and down his back to settle on his hips. Steve wrapped both arms around Billy’s shoulders, leaning closer to him, almost pressing his whole body against Billy’s.

And it was easy. Kissing Steve was just as easy as talking to him, as laughing with him, as looking at him. It was simple and nice and made Billy feel something he really didn’t want to put too much thought into.

Something that was decidedly not easy.

They pulled away from one another, both their lips red and slick.

Billy opened the passenger door, and Steve folded himself into the seat with a ridiculous amount of grace.

And as Billy drove them aimlessly through the city, he tried not to think of the expiration date on this whole thing, on the dates listed on the back of Steve’s t-shirt.

They’ve got a little under a month together.

And Billy was determined to make that the best goddamn month of both of their natural lives.