#im sure she'd want someone she knows and trusts to have her back!!

[kissingarthurclaus]

Sigh that last post out of my queue reminds me HOW MUCH I LOVE OMEGAAAA 😭😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖 SHE'S SO GOOD I MISS HER SM!!

[orcelito]

Honestly tho it's the "I don't love you" and "every time I said it was just automatic impulse" that's got me the most messed up. Like u couldn't even let me down softly by saying it just wasn't working out? You had to essentially tell me the whole thing was a lie??? After I TOLD you I had trust issues and felt like everyone is just going to leave me in the end???

Way to make me feel unlovable lol

[ivysprophecy]

sharpest tools

warnings: dual POV HAHA so im not saying i know jj or that this is how he thinks or whatever im simply doing it for a change of pace and writing style, wanted to experiment a little so by all means if this isnt your thing pls keep scrolling. mentions of extreme anxiety, mentions of chronic pain meds, over the counter meds

word count: 2299

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masterlist

summary: after your fight blows out of proportion both you and jj are left wondering what just happened? and the poor pogues are caught in the crossfires trying to delegate and reunite the two idiots. because neither of them are the sharpest tools in the shed.

jj's pov

"jj... jj wake up," my eyes open enough to see someone crouching in front of me.

why the hell is sarah waking me up?

i move to sit up forgetting i slept in the hammock last night so i swing and struggle for a second before gaining my balance back.

"whats up?"

she hands me a water and some aspirin she snagged from the kitchen, from the looks of it no one else is awake. "just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"i appreciate it sar but im good. i swear," i take a swig of the water before swallowing the pain killers, "theres absolutely nothing wrong," because really i dont know that the fuck is wrong.

"im guessing you dont wanna talk about what happened last night?"

"honest to god sarah im not even sure what happened- that girl kissed me and before i could get her off me y/n swooped in and exploded."

sarah sits criss cross on the grass next to the hammock looking over at me with an odd look on her face.

"so you didnt mean to kiss her?"

"no- sarah i didnt kiss that girl i swear on my life. she was asking me a question about directions and all of a sudden shes got me pinned against the rocks. honest," i hold my hands up in surrender feeling interrogated, "i'd never do that to y/n"

"im not saying you would- its just that we didnt know until last night so... speaking of that. what the fuck was that about?"

everyone has so many questions and honestly i do too, i dont know half of the answers. feels like i wiped out and i cant find the shore.

i just wish she'd talk to me. like im sure if shed just let me get two words in i could reassure her but i dont know what shes thinking right now and its killing me.

i hate it. i hate that i caused this.

but in my defense it kinda feels like she blew it way out of proportion if she had just let me explain this whole thing would be okay.

"i just... i dont know sar- she had all this anxiety about relationships and whatever- i dont really get it but she said she wanted to keep it between the two of us. who was i to tell her no ya know? i just wanna be with her."

sarah just kinda looks at me with wide eyes.

"what?"

"youre like- down bad arent you? youre totally whipped."

"i wouldnt say that-" she interrupts me.

"jj maybanks got a girlfriend... this is headline news," she chuckles making me roll my eyes. i thought we were having a serious conversation, not that i try to have those often but i could use her advice on the subject.

"sarah seriously- what the hell do i do? i barely know what happened last night how am i supposed to fix what i dont know is fucked up?"

"well from the tid bit you told me? sounds like shes massively overthinking and just saw the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it just so happened to fit into her warped little nightmare."

what the fuck did she just say?

"so youre saying this is just all in her head?"

"no- well- kind of... from the sounds of it shes got a lot of anxiety and trust issues. shes probably trying to self sabotage the relationship."

i let out a frustrated sigh, "can you not talk like a therapist for a minute?"

"jj what im saying is you both dont know how to handle the situation. you need to talk to each other, have a real discussion not just scream in each others faces like last night."

"i tried to talk to her! she wouldnt listen!"

sarah lets out a laugh letting her head hang as her body shook from the laughter. pushing some hair out of her face she turns her body to face me more head on.

"jj- it was the heat of the moment and she was scared and upset. of course she wasnt going to listen... now that shes had time to cool off? you might have a better shot."

"but what if she doesnt believe me?" look i dont like admitting that i get a little insecure sometimes, but id rather do that than fuck my relationship with y/n.

because god ive been trying for so long i dont know what im gonna do if i lose her.

i really need to see her. "is she awake?"

"not yet i dont think... why? what are you gonna do?" i stand up running my hands through my untamed hair trying to wake up a little bit.

"im gonna try to make it up to her- make sure shes up by the time i get home. 'kay?"

"home? what the fuck are you talking about jj? where are you going?" sarah stands up as she sees me walking towards my bike. her voice raising so it will carry enough for me to hear.

"dont worry bout it!"

with those final words i take off down the dirt road...

readers pov

ugh. my head is pounding. i need excedrin.

god last night was a horrible combination for my chronic migraines.

i walk into the kitchen and see john b and pope huddled in the corner making shushing noises before turning around to face me.

"there she is!" i shove my hand in john bs face to shut him up.

"its nine am. wheres the medicine cabinet my head is throbbing." poor sweet pope hands me the bottle of pills and a cold water. god bless him. "thank you," i let out a whine as i tilt my head back to take the medicine. "sorry ive got a killer migraine."

"oh-" they exchange glances with one another before pope speaks up in a hushed tone, "go lay down- let the meds work. and drink your water."

i squint at him, seeing how nervous he is. he wants to say something. they both do.

is this headache bearable enough to get this conversation over with? technically yes. should i use it as an excuse to ignore everything? probably not...

"its okay. we can talk. i can tell you want to."

"thank god" jb expresses before pope hits him in the chest, which leads to john b throwing his arms up in defense "what? you said we needed to talk to her!"

"yea but not force her to!"

"guys- cmon its fine. really. i know its a lot so lets just get this over with. yes jj and i had been dating for a month. yes we didnt tell anyone on purpose, i didnt want the pressure. i dont know if he kissed that girl or not but i freaked out and just wanted to be alone. i didnt mean to hurt his feelings but i was obviously upset so i said things i didnt mean. there. happy?"

both the boys look at me with bug eyes, "a month?!" they exclaim together.

"my god- yes. a month. its really not a big deal-"

"yes it is y/n- thats a huge step for you and jj. i thought the whole casual thing would flame out. this is a huge commitment for the both of you," pope reminds me, as if i wasnt aware. i

i was simply trying to down play it to give myself a reason to care less, seems like thats not happening any time soon.

"what are you my doctor?"

"i think what pope is trying to say is... were a little worried about you y/n/n... what happened last night- you kinda flew off the handle."

i whip my head around so fast i get dizzy, grabbing the counter for stability.

"excuse me? i flew off the handle? jj was the one kissing other girls-"

"y/n i think deep down you know thats not true-"

"no- no you dont get to tell me im crazy and then tell me what im thinking- this is my relationship. this is exactly why i didnt wanna tell everyone because i knew youd all stick your noses in it. what happened is between me and jj. no one else."

pope reaches out to steady me seeing me sway a little, "woah- okay maybe we should put a pause in this convo-"

"im fine pope. i just dont see how this is anyones business."

"we're not saying its our business y/n/n, were just worried about you. youre not acting like yourself. you seem anxious, paranoid, you know- just not normal," pope pleaded with me, making me sit on one of the dining chairs.

"right-" john be interjected, "all were trying to point out is we all know jj would never ever put his whatever you wanna call it with you in jeopardy. hes whipped. theres no way he went and kissed another girl."

i see where theyre coming from. i really do. i want to believe it but there are too many things playing in my head that tell me otherwise.

on one hand, i know jj would never hurt me. not on purpose, and to cheat is definitely with a purpose. hes always reassured me that its just me and since we got serious he hasnt given me a reason to doubt him.

but on the other... just seeing her all over him is so hard to forget. it all happened so fast, i dont know how long theyd been kissing for, maybe i got there just as it happened or maybe itd been going on for a while i have no idea. too many factors.

"y/n if you listen to literally anything we say let it be that we know jj loves you," i look up at the curly haired boy whos basically grown to be my brother.

"thats a big word for elmo-"

pope runs a hand over his face with a sigh, "for the love of god be serious for a minute," 'theyre made for each other' he thinks to himself. "just hear him out. please. for some reason he loves you a lot-"

"hey!"

"-and if were speaking freely youre the one whos put all of this at stake because all the rest of know jj didnt kiss that girl. youre the only one who has doubts. so talk to him. please. were begging you."

"... 'we're?' youve all talked about this?"

"of course we have- it all unraveled in front of us what else did you expect? by the way i was supposed to tell you sarah is siked for you- maybe nows not the time," john be stops himself scratching the back of his head.

honestly it gets a giggle out of me.

"okay.. yea. ill talk to him. where is he? is he here?"

pope looks out the window in the front yard, where he can see sarah peeking in before moving out os sight to pretend she wasnt listening in.

"he was here- he slept outside last night. wanted to give you space since you both normally share the couch."

oh... thats- sweet.

fuck. maybe i am screwing all of this up.

"can i come in now??" i hear sarah yell from the other side of the door.

"get in here!" i raise my voice a little testing my headache, which ironically has somehow gotten a little better.

sarah walks through the door. letting out a rather dramatic sigh, "finally. sorry- jj got some big idea and left on his bike a few minutes ago. said to have y'n awake by the time he gets back so... i dont really know what to do now."

john b looks at his wife and i notice... its like how jj looks at me.

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

"do you know where he went??" i look at sarah with a begging tone and pleading tone.

she shakes her head "sorry honey bun," she teases with a smile. "but since weve got time... john b, pope, and i will go get some breakfast while we wait for jj to get back. you stay here- give you two some space to work it all out."

"what? no its fine- really you dont have to go..."

sarah walks up to me grabbing me by the shoulder with some stupid fucking grin like shes all knowing, "girl. youre gonna be fine. youll talk, kiss, and make up and be the happiest couple ever. it will be sickening, trust me id know. relax. it will be fine. you and jj will be able to work this out, im sure."

and with that john b grabs the keys to the twinkie heading out the door following wifes orders, with pope following in suit with an apologetic shrug.

sarah gives me a teasing kiss on the forehead, "well be back soon sweetie be safe."

"oh fuck off- bring back bacon and coffee please," she salutes me before walking outside with the boys.

"no one ever said she was the sharpest tool in the shed," john b quips as he steps into the twinkie with a sigh before turning the ignition.

pope hops in the back letting out a small laugh "yea thats for sure."

"neither of them are," sarah rebuts looking over at john b as they all laugh. "theyre both as sharp as a dull spoon"

"what the fuck did you just say?" jb looks over at her with a quizzical look on his face.

"just drive routledge."

[theeoriginals]

a Klaus fic with this gem from Ozark “look, I know I kissed you last night but I thought I was gonna fucking die”. Change to fit however you want 😘

the last thing i'd do | klaus mikaelson

author's note; whoever sent this im so sorry it's been in my inbox for seven months

warnings; hybrid!reader, mentions of violence, violence against reader, themes of death, klaus gets crazy :), then there's fluff, a bit of angst still sprinkled in, but there's a happy ending

It's a blood bath, is the thing.

She can't tell what blood is hers anymore, and the ache in her body has done nothing but grow steadily over the past ten minutes. It feels like it's been hours since it all started.

She doesn't remember who threw the first punch, just knows that someone had come at her and she had no choice but to fight back, fight for her life.

There's blood under her nails, and she thinks maybe some in her eyes because they're burning, but it might be the tears shining in them.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Klaus had, for once, been hoping for peace. He was always braced for a fight, but he'd truly been hoping for a painless, quick negotiation.

Of course, it's turned into the worst fight they've had in a while.

She's always been on Klaus's side of things; fights, family, life. She's always had her place here, carved out by none other than the Original Hybrid himself. She's never understood just what he saw in her that earned her this place, but she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Some– most– call her loyalty a form of naivety. Perhaps the sire bond still lingering, despite the fact that she'd broken it years ago. His siblings call it blindness, or ignorance, in their harsher moments. Her friends, the few that happen to be immortal, too, think she's reckless and just asking for him to kill her. Klaus Mikaelson turns on everybody, eventually, they say. The paranoid, hybrid king trusts nothing and no one. He killed his parents, multiple times, and he's kept his siblings in and out of coffins for most of their immortal lives. Why would he ever enjoy the company of one of his sires?

She's never thought he was perfect. That's something people always get wrong. They think she sees no flaws in him, when really she sees them all for what they are, she sees him for who he really is. She still loves him.

Some days she thinks he knows how she feels for him. Sometimes she can't keep it out of her eyes, and he'll catch her looking at him and his eyes will narrow slightly, like he's warning her to contain it.

Other days, she thinks there's no way he knows, because if he knew the capacity of her adoration, he'd surely have to say something. Tell her to move on. Compel the feelings away, possibly. If he were that cruel to her.

She doesn't think he would be. Since that first day he found her in the woods with what was left of her pack, they'd all watched him in fear. Some confused. Angry. But she was mystified. Enraptured by him and the power that radiated off of him.

She spent a long time feeling weak when she was younger. Even after she triggered the curse. But when Klaus told her she could become immortal, be strong, be at his side, she was the first to accept. The only one in her pack to ask him to turn her.

He'd set his eyes on her, something unidentifiably dark gleaming in his blue eyes, and when she latched onto his wrist to drink his blood, he hadn't looked away from her.

When he cupped her cheeks, he'd brushed his thumbs along the curve of her cheekbones and told her he'd make it quick and painless for her, and when she opened her eyes, he'd be there.

He'd kept his word, then. And he'd kept it ever since.

This, though. He'd given her his word, knowing her hesitance to fight, knowing that unless it was life or death, she'd rather avoid conflict. He promised her there would be no bloodshed here today.

It's not his fault, this time. She needs to tell him that. She needs to be at his side to make sure they're still fighting together, like they have for so long, yet so little time.

She throws a vampire off of her, with nothing but his heart in her palm and she quickly drops it to the ground at her feet. Turning, she pushes through the chaos, trying to cross the room to where she last saw him.

"Klaus!"

Her voice echoes over the mess and she sees him turn in the direction of it, and the fire in his blue eyes has her stopping.

He has blood smeared around his mouth and chin and she knows he's torn out more throats than he can count. The numbers are dwindling on both sides, barely anyone left standing, and she goes to close the space between them when a blinding pain stops her in her tracks.

Her choked off grunt is nearly silent amidst the yelling, but to Klaus it's like a gunshot.

He watches the point of the stake stab through her chest and feels his breath stall in his chest, fingers going numb all the way to the tips.

Her hand comes up, trembling as she skims her fingers over the blood blooming on her shirt around the stake. When she looks back up at Klaus, she tries to say his name but it's suffocated by the blood bubbling up in her throat.

Her knees give out from under her and she hears his hoarse voice yell her name as she goes down.

She can't see it, but she feels the pain that refreshes when he rips the stake from her back and throws it into the heart of the vampire that had attacked her.

She can't see it through the blur of her tears, but the sounds of retreat echo in her ears around the waves crashing.

When Klaus speaks again, his voice is closer and she blinks blearily, finding him hovering above her with wide eyes, looking uncharacteristically scared.

Her brows furrow when she sees the look on his face and when his fingers brush hers, she's quick to intertwine them with hers.

He whispers her name, the sound broken with emotion, and she squeezes his hand unconsciously.

"You're alright," He tries, valiantly ignoring the graying color of her skin despite the fact that he got the stake out of her. "You're alright, love. The pain will go away in a minute,"

She frowns, shaking her head against where he has it cupped with the hand that she's not holding. "Doesn't hurt," She whispers, swallowing roughly around the copper in her mouth.

"What?"

She repeats herself. "Doesn't hurt. Can't feel anything,"

Klaus makes a noise that she thinks might be grief. "No, no, it's alright. Here," He rips his hand from hers and his fangs tear into his skin, and he shoves his wrist against her mouth, letting as much blood drip into her mouth as he can before he heals.

She swallows it dutifully, but that numbness doesn't quite go away, and she wonders why he's so worried about it.

"Sit up," He commands her, though his voice is nowhere near as firm as it can get. "Sit up, and I'll help you the rest of the way. We'll go home, and you can rest."

"Klaus," She says his name, smiling around the syllables. "Come here."

He leans down at her request, eyes fluttering shut on a shaky breath when she lifts a blood-smeared hand up to his cheek. He whispers her name and her smile gives way to bloody teeth.

She uses what strength she can to lean up and kiss him, the pads of her fingers pressing into his pale cheek when he inhales sharply but presses back instantly, deepening the kiss.

She lingers as long as she can until she has to pull away, gasping for a full breath that she can't quite reach.

Still, a smile sits on her lips and when she meets Klaus's worried gaze, she doesn't falter. "Thank you,"

Confusion flutters on his face for a moment, but he jostles her when she starts to go limp in his arms, hand falling from his face. "No," He pulls her weight up, lifting her against his chest as her eyes flutter shut. "No. Wake up. Wake up!"

Silence follows his demands, his pleas, and through the blood on her cheek, a single tear falls from his eye, cleaning as it slides down her skin and falls into nothing.

Despite the silence surrounding him, he feels deafened.

────── 

When she opens her eyes again, she can feel her body again in a way she couldn't before. Luckily, she can't feel any pain.

Her eyes go down to her chest where she knows a gaping wound had been, but there's nothing left, not even a scar its wake and she takes a deep breath, relieved that it's not followed by a throttle of blood coming up her throat.

"You're awake,"

The voice startles her, but she isn't scared when she turns her head against the pillow to look at Klaus. A frown sprouts on her face when she sees him sitting in a chair at her side, looking like he hasn't slept in days. It's not always necessary, but they have to take breaks sometimes, and she hasn't seen Klaus look this tired in a long time.

"I am," She says, swallowing a mouthful of spit in an attempt to wet her throat. "I don't think I should be, though."

"I owe many people a great deal of things, so you'd better stay that way."

His voice is dark and she can hear the anger in it, but she's not used to it being focused on her. "You didn't–"

"Do not," He cuts her off, his words nearly a growl that has her eyes widening. "Do not tell me that I shouldn't have saved you."

He leans forward, grabbing her hand in his, and she shrinks with embarrassment when she remembers how she'd touched his cheek and kissed him.

"Klaus," She squeezes her eyes shut, huffing her humiliation out. "I am– so sorry that I–"

"Don't," He cuts her off again, hand pressing pointedly against hers. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

She falls silent for a moment, lost as she looks at him. "I just... I thought I was going to die. And I just– I had to have it at least once."

He visibly swallows and she watches that pretty shine light up his eyes again. "You thought you were dying, and the last thing you wanted to do was kiss me?"

She nods despite the toe-curling embarrassment coursing through her.

He cuts a sharp breath out of his nose, shaking his head.

Before she realizes it, he's hovering above her, cupping her cheeks gently. "Silly little thing," He quietly scolds her, not giving her time to argue before he kisses her, ever so softly, softer than she ever thought he could be. Like she'll break beneath his touch if he doesn't treat her like glass.

When he pulls away and she forces her eyes open, she finds herself fighting off a tingling sensation from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. "What'd you do that for?"

He smiles, small and fond. "The next time you kiss me, you don't have to be dying to do it."

"Oh,"

"Don't ever do that to me again," His voice has a warning in it, but she's already smiling too hard to pay attention to it. "You know how I feel about people disobeying my orders."

Her grin is audible when she responds. "Yeah, I do."

[megalony]

Stay With Me

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by the lovely @klovesreading, I hope you all like it. Feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream

911 Masterlist

Summary: After an argument with Eddie, (Y/n) picks up an extra shift at work. Both of them wish she didn't when she gets shot on duty.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) hauled off Eddie's hoodie that she had been wearing all afternoon and slung it over the back of the dining room chair before she headed through into the kitchen. It felt strange to have the house deathly quiet and barely alive like this. But she had just taken Chris to spend the night with Evan since they hadn't had a lot of time together recently and Chris was starting to miss his uncle Buck.

She loved Chris to death, he had quickly wormed his way into her heart and when he started to call (Y/n) mum, it was the best day of her life. She wasn't used to having the house this quiet without him playing his video games or dancing away to music. But it would be nice to have a night with Eddie without having to worry if Chris could hear them or if he was alright and check what he was doing.

She knew he was with Evan and having the time of his life; whenever her brother came round Chris never wanted him to leave. Last week he went as far as having a meltdown when Evan had to go on shift and leave them. At least he didn't have to be upset this time, he could spend the full night with 'his Buck' and (Y/n) knew Eddie was relieved that Chris's first night away from home- other than being with his grandparents- was with someone they both trusted.

Rounding the kitchen counter, (Y/n) tiredly looked in the fridge, trying to decide if she was actually hungry or not. She had been feeling sick today and the past few days she had no energy, even when she was at work all she wanted to do was go home to bed.

(Y/n) could hear that Eddie had put the tv on in the living room a few minutes ago when he came home and she guessed he would soon be looking for a movie to watch together. With his work pattern, whenever Eddie got an evening or a day off, he binged a few good movies because he didn't have a lot of free time to watch movies. Other than the same five cartoon movies Chris was currently obsessed with.

"When did you get this?"

Pulling away from the fridge, (Y/n) heaved it shut with a sigh and turned on her heels to look over at Eddie.

Her eyes raked over his frame, noticing the way his hair was brushed back on his head and curling up at the ends like he had run it through with wax. He was wearing a dark grey sleeveless shirt and his body was leaning up against the kitchen doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest and for a second, (Y/n) wasn't sure what he was referring to, until her eyes landed on the small box he had put on the counter in front of him.

A pregnancy test.

"Oh, uh, I don't know, last week maybe?" She leaned forward on the counter and arched her back out with her arms folded in front of her.

(Y/n) had bought so many pregnancy tests this last year that she couldn't remember when she got most of them. Usually when she thought she had one in the bathroom cupboard, she went and found she'd already used it and had to go for another. That was probably a spare one she'd bought on the off chance of needing it.

It was a sore subject to talk about at the moment.

A whole year they had been trying. A year of wanting to get pregnant and coming up empty handed with a lot of false positives. Chris had become (Y/n)'s child as much as Eddie's when they got married, he was calling and referring to her as his mum and (Y/n) was in the process of adopting him. But it didn't stop her wanting to have a baby of her own.

She yearned to have a baby and see Eddie with a baby in his arms and Eddie had as much baby fever as (Y/n), but nothing was going to plan. (Y/n) was pregnant two months after they got married but it hadn't been straight forward. (Y/n) thought she might have been pregnant, she had a suspicion but before she could take a test or book a doctor's appointment, she woke in the night with horrid cramps and found out she'd miscarried without really knowing she was pregnant.

That was as close as she came to being pregnant. For the year that they had been trying, nothing had happened and (Y/n) didn't know what to do with herself or how to get out of the slump it was putting her in.

"I thought we agreed not to do any more tests for a while?" Eddie uncrossed his arms and crossed the kitchen to reach her but he hated the glum, broken look in (Y/n)'s eyes when she looked up at him.

Without replying, (Y/n) simply shrugged and started to tangle her fingers together. She didn't acknowledge Eddie's hand on her lower back because she knew where this conversation was going to go. All she did was tilt her head to the right when Eddie's lips merged with her neck and she let herself melt into the feeling, just for a while.

"Mi amor?"

"I wasn't intending on using it, not yet anyway." She didn't remember when she bought it, she had on intentions of sitting and looking at a negative test.

"That's what you said before," Eddie rolled his lips together and took a deep breath when (Y/n) shrugged out of his touch and turned to face him with one elbow leant on the counter.

"That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to joke. We said we wouldn't take any more tests after last time."

Eddie didn't want to come home and find (Y/n) slumped on the floor, staring into the void of a negative test. Unable to move, unsure what to say. If she wanted to do a test Eddie would rather (Y/n) do it when he was home with her but that being said, he didn't want to take any more tests. Not unless they were dead certain they were within a chance of having a positive.

He was sick of seeing the negatives on the test and watching a little piece of (Y/n) break each time they took a test. Eddie would rather forget about tests all together and forget that they were trying for a baby. If they didn't overthink this, then maybe they would have a baby without having to focus and try so hard.

"And we're not." (Y/n) dragged her fingers through her hair, brushing the strands further back on her head and out of her eyes. She moved away from the counter and grabbed the dreaded test that had become her enemy rather than her friend.

"Good."

"Why is that good?" She couldn't drag her eyes away from the test to look over at Eddie. Just this once, (Y/n) wished she could tear it open, try the test and have it come back positive.

Just this once. Was she really asking too much by wanting a baby?

"Because I don't like seeing you break down every time we get a test. Hide the damn thing and forget about it. We might get lucky without all the pressure." Eddie leaned back, using his quick reflexes to catch the test when (Y/n) tossed it his way. If he wanted to hide it, he could go ahead and they would see if his relaxed way would go down well or not.

(Y/n) clamped her hand down on her hip and leaned her other side into the counter. Her eyes watched her husband with intrigue as he tossed the test from one hand to the other like it was burning hot and scolding his skin. But her heart dropped down to her stomach when she noticed him glance towards the bin. It was a quick, swift movement, barely noticeable, but (Y/n) saw. She almost expected him to toss the test in the bin but he settled on throwing it on the top shelf in the medicine cupboard.

"May as well forget about it, we won't need it."

His words were like a knife puncturing through (Y/n)'s stomach and she could feel bile creeping up the back of her throat as her stomach twisted and clenched.

"Why would you say that?" The pain in (Y/n)'s eyes matched the croak in her voice and she furiously rubbed her sleeve against her eyes to stop herself from crying. She had cried enough, she wasn't in the mood to break down about this, again.

It hurt more than Eddie could comprehend that when he and Shannon had Chris, they hadn't been trying for a baby. Chris was the reason they got married, both being Catholics and raised with the installed thought of 'doing the right thing.' Chris was a surprise, the best kind, he and Shannon didn't have to try for a year to have a baby and Shannon took that and the family she had, for granted.

And here (Y/n) was, married to the man who stole her heart from the first moment they met. She loved him and Chris and they had their own little family together, but (Y/n) couldn't seem to catch a break when it came to a baby. They had done things the way Eddie's family would have wanted, marriage first, then children. But none were arriving.

(Y/n)'s teeth started to grind down together when Eddie stared across at her with those big doe eyes that were full of panic and fright.

He hadn't meant to say that outloud.

"No, baby I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't." His hands moved to clamp down on his hips and his head tilted to the side as he looked at her with a hardened, unhappy expression. "We don't need a fucking test right now, we need to stop panicking. We have time and it'll either happen or it won't."

He didn't like the way (Y/n) scoffed and her lips curled into a snarky smile. Why could he not see this from her perspective?

"Why not just give up, hm? Shannon didn't even have to try to have Chris and I've been with you almost five years and all I get is a false positive and then a miscarriage. Clearly it's not happening."

"That's not what I'm saying. Do you think I enjoy seeing you upset like this? I'm sick of seeing you so broken and not being able to do anything about it. At least whenever Shannon did a test she didn't cry when it was negative,"

"Well it's a fucking shame you married me, Edmundo."

Eddie knew he had taken it too far the moment he spoke and hearing his full name from (Y/n) only made him cringe and back up into the counter. He hated the way she said his name. He knew he well and truly fucked up when (Y/n) croaked his name like that and had to fight back tears from his crudeness.

He didn't mean it.

Tears welled up in the corners of Eddie's eyes when (Y/n) bypassed him, moving as far to the counter as she could so even her arm didn't brush his chest an inch. And panic bubbled up in Eddie's chest when he watched his wife barge through the dining room, grab her bag from the table and march towards the front door.

What was she doing? Where was she going? He didn't want her to leave, he wanted to stay and talk and make up for the stupid things he had just said that he well and truly didn't mean.

"Wait- where are you going?" The panic in his voice almost made (Y/n) crumble. Almost.

With her jacket slung over her arm and her bag on her shoulder, (Y/n) grabbed her keys and unlocked the door.

"I'm going to work."

"You're not on shift. Baby don't leave, I'm sorry I didn't mean it-"

"I'll pick up the night shift and pray I won't be such a cry baby by morning." When the door slammed shut behind her, Eddie slumped his back into the wall and let himself slide down to the floor with a thud.

What had he done?

***

"Are you okay?"

(Y/n) slumped down in her seat and leaned her head against the window that felt cold and soothing against her burning temple. Night shifts always caught her off guard, they didn't make her feel great when most of her shifts were day shifts since Eddie did a fair few nights.

Every time she went onto a night shift, (Y/n) felt like she was going to collapse the moment she got home and she could never sleep during the day which made her feel even worse. But being on shift was preferable to being at home with Eddie and either sitting in silence or carrying on the argument.

"Just tired,"

"Hm. Makes sense that you'd pick up the late shift if you're tired." Athena tilted her head to the side and gave (Y/n) a knowing look, sporting her signature, calming smile.

Since moving down to LA with Evan, the siblings both felt like Athena and Bobby had taken them under their wings and become their surrogate parents. Bobby looked out for Evan at the station and was always there for him outside of the station when he needed him. And when (Y/n) became a cop, she had Athena to look out for her and be there when she needed a shoulder to lean on.

"I'd just rather be anywhere else right now." There was no point divuldging why she was here and not back at home on her day off. It was easier to try and forget the reason why she wasn't going home yet and pray that in the morning, the atmosphere would be gone by the time she walked through the door.

A bolt of relief surged through (Y/n) when the radio went off, asking for assistance. She needed something to focus her mind on because she wasn't the one driving tonight. Driving the streets aimlessly was something she and Eddie did when they or Chris couldn't sleep and it was only going to make (Y/n) break down and want to go back home.

"Anyone available to assist in a house call? Neighbours are reporting raised voices and items being thrown."

"This is Seven-two-seven-L-thirty, responding."

(Y/n) looked across at Athena as she shimmied up and sat up straight in her seat to try and liven herself up. It was strange to see Athena without her usual sunglasses she always wore when she was on shift, but she didn't wear them out on a night shift. It tended to give people the wrong impression and they didn't exactly help.

"Off we go," (Y/n) heaved herself out the car and stretched, clicking her back into place as she shut the door behind her.

As soon as she was on her feet, (Y/n) felt like the cold air was wrapping her up and suffocating her. Her stomach was still churning from earlier and she was sweating despite the cool midnight breeze.

"The side gates open, I'll take a look."

(Y/n) nodded and watched Athena move away from the path towards the right side of the house. The gate was swinging open in the wind, creaking back and forth which wasn't alarming but it could be something to worry about.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) followed the narrow path up to the front door and tried to peek into the window to see if there were any lights on or any sound of noise. The neighbours called in raised voices and items being thrown about but the house was deadly quiet right now.

"Police, could you open the door please? We're here for a welfare check." (Y/n) knocked on the door three times before she leaned towards the window when she heard some movement. "Open the door please." She tried again with another round of knocking but whoever was inside was now rummaging around. They weren't going to open up.

A sigh passed her lips as she took a few steps away from the door and moved back onto the path. Her hand curled around her radio and she did a sweep around the quiet street.

"Athena, any luck round back? I might check in with the neighbours- oh, someone's opening up."

When the door unlocked and creaked open, (Y/n) walked back up the steps but she stopped short when a woman shot out the door. She collided into (Y/n)'s shoulder, pushing her back and causing her to twist on her feet as she regained her balance. Falling on the pavement wasn't going to do her any favours tonight.

"Miss- miss wait-"

(Y/n) scrunched her hand around the girl's sleeve and tried in vain to stop her bolting away and rushing down the empty street. But just as her hand left the girl's shoulder, everything seemed to stop when a shot rang through the air.

At first, she thought Athena had come through the house and was trying to apprehend someone. It didn't dawn on (Y/n) that it was someone else in the house shooting until a blinding, horrifying pain coursed through her left shoulder.

Her body tilted backwards and she managed to stay upright for three wobbling steps back while her right hand moved to press to her shoulder without thinking. Blood soaked into her palm. The touch on her shoulder made it ignite in white hot pain. No air went in or out of her lungs and her knees caved in on her.

She didn't reach the floor before another shot imbedded in her left thigh just before her back hit the ground.

Her head smashed into the pavement, sending her vision black with little white spots like the stars had fell down to Earth and were dancing in front of her eyes.

The collision seemed to act as a button that turned her hearing off. All (Y/n) could hear was static. It was buzzing in her ears, ringing around in her head and worsening the way her body was shaking when she couldn't hear what was going on. Her eyes wouldn't focus on anything but the flashing stars blinking in front of her. How could she protect herself if all she could see were stars and all she could hear was blinding, buzzing background static.

(Y/n) couldn't help herself if the gunman came outside and tried to shoot at her or the civilian who most probably had fled the street by now. She couldn't protect Athena if she didn't know what was going on or where (Y/n) and the shooter were.

All she could do was lie there like prey, giving in and ready to be killed for sport.

"Shots fired! Officer down I need immediate back up and an ambulance to my location now!" Athena slumped down on her knees, dragging her eyes over (Y/n)'s frame. She had handcuffed the shooter to the radiator in the doorway after she entered the house through the open back door.

She could feel Athena's hand briefly grab hers to let her know who it was beside her and that she was safe.

"(Y/n), can you hear me? You just stay with me, help is on the way."

Something akin to a gurgling scream burned at the back of (Y/n)'s throat when she felt something tight strap around her thigh somewhere near the wounded area. She couldn't pinpoint where she had been shot. Her leg was tingling from her hip bone all the way down to her toes that were cold and numb in her boots.

Her head turned to the side and her hands blindly reached out while her vision slowly started to come back to her. She could just about see Athena hovering over her and she soon realised Athena had used her belt as a turniquet around her thigh to prevent the blood loss. As soon as she pulled it tighter, (Y/n) screamed and thrashed her upper body down against the concrete.

Everything started to shake. Each breath she took made her chest shudder and spit foamed at her mouth as she pushed her breaths through gritted teeth that were puncturing down into her tongue.

Everything burned. Everything hurt. She was trapped in a body that was on fire and tearing itself apart.

Why did she bother coming on shift tonight? Why didn't she stay home with Eddie? An argument wasn't worth getting shot at, she should have talked things out with him.

He begged her to stay, why didn't she stay?

"Stay with me, sweetie, stay with me."

Tears stained (Y/n)'s face and burned into her skin like acid when both Athena's hands pressed down on her shoulder. She couldn't tie anything around her arm or chest as a turniquet, all Athena could do was apply as much pressure as she could to slow down the bleeding until paramedics came to help.

The pressure made (Y/n) choke and she reached a hand out, fumbling around until she could curl her fingers around Athena's wrist.

"Eddie. Eddie."

"Sweetie let's focus on getting some medics here-"

"Eddie!"

She screamed her husband's name at the top of her lungs until she saw Athena grapple with one hand to fish her phone out of her pocket. She had to keep (Y/n) calm or else she was going to go into shock and that wouldn't do her any favours when she had two gunshot wounds.

Blood smeared onto her phone when she swiped a shaky finger across the screen and scrolled down to Eddie's contact. As soon as she clicked on his name, she returned both hands to (Y/n)'s shoulder and pushed down as hard as she could until it felt like her hands were going to burst through (Y/n)'s body.

"Athena? Everything okay?" Eddie's confused voice came through the speaker and just the tone of his voice made (Y/n)'s head loll to the right towards the phone, wishing he was here instead of on the other end of the line.

Sirens wailed in the distance before she could answer and it made her jaw clench. She shouldn't be calling Eddie yet, it was too early when all the attention needed to be focused on (Y/n), but if she didn't, she had a feeling (Y/n) would become very hard to calm and control.

"Eddie I need you to listen carefully. (Y/n)'s been involved in an accident, you need to meet us at Mercy hospital."

"No, no what kind of accident? Is she okay?!"

"Eddie," (Y/n)'s eyes dazed around in circles, unable to focus on anything except the sound of her husband's panicked voice. His name slipped past her lips again, but much quieter this time and (Y/n) found she couldn't hear his response, or anything Athena was trying to shout at her.

"(Y/n), honey you stay with me now, help is here. Eddie meet us at the hospital." She ended the call, swallowing down the guilt consuming every inch of her being when the last thing she heard was Eddie's scream of protest. She couldn't have him on the phone when she could feel (Y/n)'s pulse was starting to fade. They had to get her to the hospital and Eddie would have to drown in the same panic as Athena until he got there.

***

This had to be the one. This was the third ambulance Eddie had seen pull into the parking bay just at the side of the emergency room entrance. He hastily parked his car as close as he could get and stood to the side of the ambulance entrance to the hospital. Eddie knew if he went through the reception in the emergency room he would be pushed to the side and would have to wait for hours in agony.

Whereas if he waited here, he could see Athena and (Y/n) come through the emergency room and he could stay with them that way.

Two ambulances had parked up since Eddie got here and neither of them had brought in his wife. He was starting to lose the feeling in his fingers and feet and at any moment he was sure he would throw up. If he hadn't of started the argument, (Y/n) wouldn't have gone on shift and she wouldn't have been hurt somehow.

The only silver lining here was that Chris was staying with Evan for the night. Eddie didn't have to panic and flutter about finding someone to look after Chris and waste time driving around. He had been able to get straight in the car and drive down to the hospital.

Eddie looked down to his phone again, desperate to call Athena but he knew better. His eyes flitted between his phone and the latest ambulance and he took two steps closer when the back doors opened.

Bingo.

"Athena!" He slipped his phone back into his pocket and skidded across the path to reach them, growling when one of the medics tried to push him back.

"Sir stand back-"

"That's my wife!" Both Eddie's hands moved to tangle in his hair and he started to yank harshly on the strands, feeling a few hairs coming loose between his fingers. His elbows pressed out at his sides and each breath started to run away from him when he realised what they were doing.

One of the medics was stood on the side of the stretcher, hands interlocked, arms straight, pushing compressions down on (Y/n)'s chest. Her heart had stopped.

There was an airbag attached to her mouth and nose, pushing each breath she needed through her system. Eddie spied a turniquet on her left leg and a bundle of gauze and rolls of bandage wrapped around her upper thigh that were starting to turn crimson. Another medic was stood on the other side, applying pressure and a large wad of gauze down onto (Y/n)'s left shoulder but the blood was everywhere. Soaked into her shirt, smeared up her neck, lathering the medic's hands and wrists.

Blood was splattered all over Athena. Her shirt, her hands all the way upto her elbows. A few droplets were even dotted on her cheek from back splash when she tried to stem the bleeding.

Eddie's feet were moving before he could comprehend what was happening and suddenly he and Athena were bolting inside down the hall after the gurney. They stopped only when the gurney travelled down a restricted corridor and the pair of them were left waiting, helpless in an empty corridor.

"What happened?"

"We were doing a welfare check… a woman fled the house and the husband open fired on the lawn. We didn't know he had a gun, there was nothing we could do."

"S-someone, shot her?"

He wasn't sure why, but gunshots didn't cross his mind when he saw the blood and the gauze padded onto his wife. He thought of knife wounds or a car accident. Eddie was married to a cop and a gunshot didn't even cross his mind.

He had to call Evan. And Maddie. He needed to find someone who would be able to watch Chris so Evan could come down to the hospital, he wouldn't be persuaded otherwise once Eddie called him and told him the news. (Y/n)'s siblings were the closest people to her, they were her world, the people who raised her when their parents couldn't. They would want to be here, waiting with Eddie for news.

What had he done? Why did he let her leave?

***

A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he slowly brought a hand up to his eyes, rubbing forcefully to try and wake himself up and take a look around. He could of cried when he realised he was in the same spot he had been hours ago. He wasn't waking up from this nightmare, he was trapped.

The moment he tilted his head up, his neck clicked into place and sent a shudder running down the base of his spine. His legs were numb and tingling, stretched out in front of him and his back was aching from falling asleep on the floor, leant up against the wall.

The chairs had been too uncomfy to sit on for long and when a panic attack took over him, Eddie curled up on the floor and hadn't moved since.

He stretched his arms above his head but when his eyes locked on a doctor aiming his way, Eddie jumped to attention. He stood up on wobbling legs and braced himself back against the wall with his hands clasped together in front of him. In the time it took the doctor to walk across the corridor to him, Eddie's hands were dripping with sweat and the back of his neck prickled with heat and goosebumps.

"Mr Diaz?"

His throat was too tight to speak so he settled for nodding his head and moved across with the doctor to sit on the chairs a few feet away.

Suddenly, Eddie was glad he was alone. If this conversation went the wrong way, Eddie didn't want to be around friends and family when he had a break down. Evan and Maddie were on their way here as soon as they could drop Chris off with Hen and Karen. Athena had gone to get changed after her interview with the chief of police and she would be back later with Bobby.

That left Eddie to sit and panic in the corridor for the last three hours, riding out the early morning in a state of perpetual fear he had never felt before.

"Your wife is out of surgery, it went very well."

Relief washed over Eddie like the tide claiming the sand and he let his body slump forward to land his head in his hands.

Thank God. It worked. She was okay.

"We removed both bullets, the one in her thigh was less severe. I'm afraid the shot to the shoulder managed to fracture into the joint. It will take longer to heal and your wife will need physiotherapy."

"She… she coded when she arrived…" Eddie wasn't sure what he was asking but he could feel the panic swirling around in his head. (Y/n) had stopped breathing when the ambulance pulled up. She had CPR on her way into theatre, that could have had a lot of adverse affects and cause lasting problems, depending on how long she was not breathing.

"We restarted her heart upon arrival, she's had normal rhythm since then and two blood transfusions. We were rather worried surgery would push her body into a miscarriage, but so far the fetus seems fine. We will keep doing daily observations just to make sure."

"What are you talking about?"

Her expression faltered and Eddie watched the way she fiddled with her hands on her lap, grimacing at her mistake. She should have eased into that conversation and tied to gage whether Eddie had any inkling about this or not. Now she had put her foot right in it.

"I'm very sorry, I presumed you would have known. Your wife is pregnant, congratulations, you are both very lucky under the circumstances."

Eddie's hands clamped together and he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against the side of his hand with a sudden desire to bite down into the flesh and rip it apart.

What had he done?

Their argument earlier in the night had been futile and pointless and he should have stopped her from leaving. If they took the test the night would have gone very differently. If they had worked things out and stayed home together, they would have found out this news in a few weeks and everything would have been better. (Y/n) wouldn't need to be pent up on bed rest and undergoing surgery and physio and cardiac arrest. She wouldn't have gone through all of this and ended up being shot if they didn't argue.

"I want to see her."

"Of course, this way."

Eddie could barely feel his legs when he stood up. He was trembling all over and he raked his nails over his thighs to try and ward off the sudden energy and adrenaline fuelling through his system.

"Eddie," The way she said his name when he bolted through the door made him shiver. He couldn't get her voice out of his head. When he closed his eyes, he could still hear her crying out for him while he sat motionless and powerless to do anything to help his wife. He was never going to get that shrill cry out of his head, no matter what he did to try and forget.

Tears were already streaming down his face by the time he stumbled over to the bed and reached out for her.

He could see the way her eyes blinked rapidly and how she tilted her head groggily to the side to try and lock her gaze onto him. She had only just started to come round from the anaesthetic.

Eddie let himself slump down on the side of the bed and he took a second to rake his eyes over his wife's frame. Her left arm was wrapped up in a sling, bound to her chest which she seemed rather put out and confused about. And he didn't dare look under the blanket to see how badly her leg would look. He could only imagine how discoloured, swollen and sore it was going to be. Eddie had had his fair share of bullet wounds in the past.

When her fingers curled around his bicep, Eddie slipped his hands beneath her back as carefully as he could and gently pulled (Y/n) up when she tried to lean over for him. Her right arm curled around his neck, scratching her nails into his skin and her face slumped forward onto his shoulder. While Eddie wrapped one arm around her lower waist to keep her pinned into his chest and his other hand cupped the back of her neck.

He buried his nose into her hair and sighed against the side of her temple, pressing as many kisses to her skin as he could manage.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

(Y/n) turned her head until she could press a butterfly kiss against the underside of Eddie's jaw and her hazy eyes tried to focus on him when he pulled his head back to look down at her.

"Hm?" What was he sorry for? From what (Y/n) could recall, Eddie hadn't been the one to shoot her. He hadn't done anything wrong, he didn't force her out the house or make her pick up that shift. She should have gone for a drive to clear her head instead of pushing herself to go on shift when she didn't need to. It was stupid of her.

"I shouldn't have let you walk out the door. If I didn't say all those things, you wouldn't have been hurt." Eddie tilted his head to the side and swiped his cheek against his shoulder to rid the tears from his eyes. words were never going to be enough to explain how horrid and idiotic and ruthless he felt for what had happened tonight.

"Baby, I walked out… I k- I knew going to work would be a bad idea," (Y/n) leaned forward again and buried her face into Eddie's neck, groaning into his shoulder when it felt like a storm was rolling into her mind.

"We should have taken the test,"

"Hm?"

(Y/n)'s lips twitched against Eddie's neck and she curled her hand against his back and nuzzled her nose into his neck. She couldn't see what he meant by that, unless there was some secret undertone she was missing. Her eyes soon opened and her lips parted when Eddie's arms suddenly unravelled from her skin and moved to cup her face instead. He smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks and gently lifted her head up from his neck so he could look down at her.

The hazy look in her eyes made his heart melt and when she tried to smile so sweetly up at him, Eddie shivered. She had been shot, twice, and had been on the brink of death and here she was trying to smile to calm him down.

"Mi amor, you're pregnant."

Confusion flooded her face and her eyes narrowed while her smile morphed into something closer to unsettling panic.

If this was some sort of joke, it was in very poor taste and it wasn't funny in the least. But the longer (Y/n) stared up at Eddie, the sooner she realised he wasn't trying to play some sick joke on her or guilt trip her. A cry burned at the back of her throat and she choked on her breath as her head started to shake.

"But… I," (Y/n)'s hand fumbled towards her shoulder and her leg twitched at the memory of being hurt. If she was pregnant, she had put herself and the baby in danger by going on shift tonight. She had been shot, how could the baby be okay after that?

"Shh, it's okay, you're both okay." Eddie's fingers brushed across her cheeks, wiping away the tears falling down her face before he leaned down to kiss her. "And I'm gonna make sure nothing else happens to you. I swear."

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Walls Are Crumbling: Part 2

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader

Summary: You and Benedict announce your engagement to the rest of the Bridgerton family. They're ecstatic for you, as Benedict told you they'd be. But you still can't help but feel guilty for bringing Benedict into your mess.

A/N: oh no. i guess im gonna turn this into a mini series...

Part 1

Everyone in the sitting room cheers after you and Benedict announce your engagement. Anthony and Kate give the pair of you soft smiles and knowing looks. Of course Anthony told his wife. He could never hide anything from her.

"Well, I must say this isn't too much of a surprise," Violet Bridgerton stands from her spot and walks towards you, "We all had a feeling this was going to happen eventually."

You smile at the woman you saw as another mother, "Trust me, Violet, I'm just as surprised as you are."

Benedict gives you a nudge, silently telling you to shush. He then speaks up, "Yes, it seemed that both of us had been harboring feelings for each other for a long time. Didn't see a reason as to why we needed to prolong marriage. Therefore, in month's time, we seek to marry."

Eloise grimaces, "But that's so soon."

Benedict's hand intertwines in yours, "Well, Eloise, I've waited too long to have Y/N as mine, so the sooner we wed, the better."

"But not too soon," you pointedly say, "which is why we decided in month's time," you add, just in case someone else suggests you two marry today, like Anthony did last night.

"Did you tell your mother already, Y/N, dear?" Violet asks curiously.

You nod, "Yes, and it went as you'd expect it to."

The dowager viscountess gives you a tight lip look. She wasn't fond of your mother and how she treats you. She especially doesn't like how she viewed your friendship with Benedict as a waste.

"Second sons have nothing to offer," she's said often.

Kate approaches you, arm looping through yours, "Sorry, brother-in-law, may I steal her for a moment?"

Benedict cocks a brow at you, silently asking if you'll be okay. You nod, "I'll be back," you let go of his hand and follow Kate, whom is guiding you outside of the sitting room and into the hall. There, she asks you to tell her everything, since Anthony only gave her bits and pieces.

While you and the Viscountess talk, Anthony joins his younger brother, "Do you really think you should do this?"

Benedict looks at his brother with annoyance on his face, "If I don't, she'd be left off to her own. I can't let that happen, especially with a child on the way."

"A child that isn't even yours, brother."

He shakes his head and shrugs, "I don't care. I will love them as my own. They are part Y/N, so surely, I'd love them." He then scowls, "Lord Mattias is a coward for this."

"I'd argue that you're just as cowardly," Anthony murmurs, a hint of a smirk on his lips, "Marrying the woman you love and yet not even telling her how you feel."

Benedict scoffs, "As if I should be taking advice from you on how to handle love," he cocks a brow at his older brother, knowing the debacle between him, Kate, and Edwina.

Anthony's jaw clenches and he doesn't say another word, which leaves Benedict to chuckle. He pats his brother on the shoulder, "I'll tell her...eventually. Things are going to be chaotic for her already. I don't want to cause her any more stress. It'll be bad for her and the baby."

Anthony hums and walks away from Benedict, deciding to stand beside Colin, whom is sitting on chaise lounge chair.

__________________________

1 Month Later

You managed to have wedding dress made fairly quickly. Well, Lady Danbury definitely put in a good word for you that helped speed up the process. Your wedding, albeit not ideal, was still perfect. Although your words of love to Benedict during the ceremony were....not completely true, you still found yourself tearing up when Benedict repeated his vows to you. You thought marrying your closest friend would be weird, but throughout the duration of the month leading up to the wedding, it became less of that and more comforting.

Time and time again did Benedict reassure he wasn't going to leave you behind for the wolves, that he'd be there for you and for the baby. That you'd be well taken care of.

Post-wedding, the dinner was a bit overwhelming. So many people were congratulating you, echoing the same words everyone else had "We all knew this would happen eventually". But what exactly did that mean? Sure, a few years ago, you harbored feelings for Benedict, but did everyone see it? Benedict couldn't have seen it too, right?

"Y/N?" he squeezes your hand and you didn't even realize he was holding it.

You look up from your plate, "Hm? Sorry."

"Are you alright?"

"I-I think I'd like some air," you whisper back to him.

"Would you like me to come with you?"

You're hesitant to say yes, but your head moves before your mouth does. You're nodding and Benedict is immediately on his feet and excuses the both of you. Everyone watches the two of you exit the dining room, the chatter continues as you leave.

Benedict silently follows you to the tree that has the swings you two used to play on when you were young. once sat on one of the swings, your hand immediately going to your belly. You've been doing that a lot in these past weeks, just not in front of others beside Anthony and Benedict.

"Is something wrong?" he nods to your hand on your belly.

You shake your head, "Not with the baby, no. But I just-" you let out another deep breath, "This is all so much. I-I-" your eyes are tearing up, "I don't like that I've brought you into my mess."

Benedict kneels before you and grabs your hands into his, "Y/N, listen to me, you did not force me to do this. I offered to marry you because I care about you and I'd hate for anything bad to happen to you. You are my dearest friend. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Ever. Do you understand me?" thumbs away your tears as you nod, "Good." He stands up and kisses your head, "Do you want to go back?"

"Can we stay here for a little longer?"

"Whatever my wife wants."

"I have to get used to hearing that," you mumble as you start to slowly move yourself back and forth on the swing.

Benedict watches you with soft eyes, eventually moving himself on the swing.

[sentience-if]

#i'm a bit surprised no one's been upset at val

oh i can talk about how mine for sure is

Val leaving Io made my MC feel so hurt, especially since she also doesn't like the Religious and didn't want to come here but made to anyway. she doesnt see why he could not have ran out with her hand in his. as a result, once she found him and got say her accusatory "You left me", she left. and she wanted to Val to follow her or stop her or something, but Val didn't (for justified reasons, i wouldnt have stopped Io in Val's place either)

i think something between them has been broken now, likely irreversibly. she might grow to like him again and even have some trust, eventually, but i think Val has been labeled as "would leave you" forever in her mind. i dont think she'd trust Val with her life anymore. i think anytime Val might joke "Have I steered you wrong before?" that there will be a sour, accusatory silence. my Io went from "shame there's no Connie-Val poly in addition to the Klaus-Val poly, because i camt imagine her ever NOT loving Val" into, "well, it's a good thing theres a Klaus-solo route and also that Connie's route never had an option to be poly with Val, bc idk if Val can get Io to that point of love again"

which i do wonder if that makes my Io especially vulnerable, in the sense that someone else can now step into Val's "place" and be a lot less good-intentioned about it. bc my Io had been nigh co-dependent, had been "I don't exist without Val", and now something has just shattered where my Io has now very rapidly developed abandonment issues

and the realization that Val does know where Io came from in the sense of the ending revealing Val saw who Io was before Io's current form?? that is not helping. that is making things actively worse. that is now "oh. so you didnt tell me, so you kept me at arm's length in a way i didnt see that you were, because you were scared of me. you didnt take me with you because you were scared of me. like all the stuff in-between where i was Becoming A Human Being didnt matter, even when i didnt remember what i used to be, because you DID remember. and you kept it from me. because you were scared of me." in a very.......... uhhhhhhhh

have you ever seen Fruits Basket?? im internally comparing Val to Kyo's mom. that's how my Io sees Val now, basically. albeit Val is less extreme than Kyo's mom, obviously

if youve never seen Fruits Basket, this is a spoiler, for sure, but it would also give context(?). Fruits Basket has a scene where Kyo can turn into this monstrous creature anytime he takes off this bracelet. and his mom was ashamed that he could do that, that he could transform like that, but she didnt want him to know that (but he did) so she kept saying stuff like "You're so adorable, I have to keep you all to myself" and "It's okay. It'll all be okay because I love you. That's why I don't want anyone else to see you, to look at you. Nobody look at my son, he's all mine. You're just so cute. I can't help it" and "I'm so proud to have you as my son" while also never letting him go outside or be around others, and even said "No, honey, you're as human as anyone else. You turn into the form sometimes because of evil magic. Not because there's anything wrong with you. You turn back to normal soon after, right? That proves you aren't a monster. It's okay, I promise, I'm not scared at all" and he would think back in recollection and go "Liar. You were scared, weren't you? That's why you checked dozens of times a day to make sure my bracelet was still on". she used love to be in denial of what was happening. eventually, the denial and unspoken shame and self-silenced fear and whatnot became so bad, she "unalived herself". and Kyo's dad blamed Kyo for that (like a dickhead) while also saying "She loved you. Your mother loved you more than anything else in the world". Kyo would come to say (to himself, to the memories of this) "Stop it! Stop it, you're wrong! Don't force that kind of 'love' on me, I don't need it, I don't!". and when he remembered that his mom would say "Sweetheart, I love you. I would die for you, you know that, right?" his internal response to that memory was "Why did you always say stuff like that? How can you love someone when you never acknowledge who they really are?"

now, years later, this gets further addressed via Tohru. as Kyo meets this girl named Tohru, and has a real connection with her but is hesitant about getting closer even though they already are close. because Tohru doesnt know about Kyo's monstrous form. his mother's death impacts his need to keep Tohru in the dark, but other people know Kyo's secret form and force him to reveal it to Tohru without her havung any idea of what is happening and without his consent. he runs away, and Tohru ends up following him. he tries to push her away, even causing her shoulder to bleed because of his claws, and she does initially walk away before realizing, if Kyo didn't come back with her, she'd probably never see or hear from him again; and then turning around and hugging his arm as he thrashes around for her to let go and run already. she begs him "Let's go home, please! We have to go home, right now!" to which he replies "No! Just go away!" and she says "No!" back and he yells "Don't you get it?!" and she says "No, I don't!". she continues, "I'm scared. Even though I know that's your voice, it doesn't sound like you. You're in a form I've never seen before. It scares me. But scared or not, I want to understand. If you need to talk, I'll listen. If you need to be selfish, I'll let you. I want to help you, the way you've helped me. If you're feeling hurt or scared or weak, tell me. I want you to tell me so I can face it with you. Because I want us to keep living together. I want to eat with you, study with you, worry with you. I just want to stay with you, Kyo." to which Kyo replied, transformed back to his human self again, in a mix of words to Tohru and internal monolog "The thing is, if she didn't love all of me, my mom, that would've been fine. Or, even if she were scared, I would get that. Because being scared would've meant she was looking at the ugly part of me. But she never did. My mom used 'love' as a way of avoiding seeing the truth, to avoid even thinking about it. But, I wanted her to understand. I just wanted her to say 'We'd face it together', I just wanted her to say she wanted to stay. Even back then, I knew it was stupid. A kid's dream that would never come true. Because who would ever say something like that to me? That's what I thought, until... Tohru." and he goes back home with Tohru to face everyone again, and keeps Tohru a close part of his life

so, my Io sees Val now as more of a Kyo's mom than she does a Tohru. obviously Val isn't AS BAD as Kyo's mom, vut i think you see my point?? and so now my Io is looking for "her Tohru", so to speak, albeit not conciously. and she no longer sees Val capable of being that. so her love for Val can only go as far as, well, as far as Val can, really. it doesn't bridge the gap between them. no matter how badly Val might insist their own love can bridge it (but it isn't, maybe it can't) or how much Val wishes my Io's love could bridge it (but it won't. it used to. but now she's too scared of being abandoned again after getting her hopes up). and so my Io's every route has Io and Val being "almost"-in a relationship, as close to being in love as two people refusing to label it can be, before this effectively ends the romantic side of their relationship. i guess that means Val is her situationship? that feels weird to put on Val, but yeah. and maybe Val can turn this into a "second chance romance" and "be her Tohru" and bridge the gap, in the sense that idk how you plan to progress and am not a mind-reader and therefore cannot say "never again" because "never say never" and whatnot

but yeah. that's where my Io is right now. very upset and feeling very unlovable. and maybe Connie or Klaus can fix that (i do also love Kat and Ira, but i dont think my Io does, so im currently not playing either's route but maybe that'll change! thatd be nice!!) or maybe Val can fix it. but not right away

but yeah!! cant wait to see how the story goes. im in shock at how damaged my Io and Val's relationship is, how my Io is basically scared of Val and sees them as.... "a flake" feels inaccurate but that kind of same "dont buy into Val's promises so much, you'll only get disappointed. Val means well. but Val still left me behind when push came to shove, Val still omitted all this from me" of self-restraint. she feels very much like a kid who got her hopes up only to be let down, kind of like a kid with a deadbeat dad who promised Disneyland but he never shows up to take her and instead he stays at the bar(?) but not quite. but does that make sense?? not angry, not resentful, just feeling very stupid

but, yeah, add another tally in the "Ios who are upset with Val" box for me lol

ohoho the ANGST the DRAMA this is good food thank you. I've seen parts of Fruits Basket in that I had a roommate that watched it a lot but yeah I can definitely see the parallels

Val will get a chance to fix it but I think I'm definitely going to have to write a route where Io does not forgive them. And for an Io who turns to Connie or Klaus instead- that would sting Val so much, in equal but opposite ways. It's probably a very good thing that Klaus wouldn't want to hurt Val because you're right, it would be really easy to take advantage of Io's emotions right now, and I wouldn't put it past him

oh and as to your second ask re: not gendering Val- genuinely don't worry about it haha. I just use they/them for Val (and Connie) in asks because i don't want one to seem more canon than the others. I don't mind if readers pick one

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Another Day, Another Fanny Chapter...

Well that sure was fucking something huh? I promised I'd at least start talking about IM chapters on here instead of keeping it strictly to the discord server so here I am. Though most of this I already said, I don't mind going over it again, since I feel like I can better organize my thoughts on this.

Also there's no word limit, which is also great.

MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 348: RABBIT REFLECTIONS

So to start, let's rip the bandaid off and just say that everything Fanny said to Vicious in this chapter was bullshit.

At this point in the story with how Fanny has been acting around Cuphead I hope I don't need to specify how Fanny is in love with Cuphead when there's just too much evidence to support it. She kissed him because she wanted to kiss him, not because she was trying to see what kind of lowdown man he was. If Fanny had truly believed that, she would have confronted him about it long ago, but she didn't and we know why. And on some level, I think she knows why, too.

I think it's much easier for a reader to imagine this chapter as a conversation Fanny is having with her conscious. Saying something like this:

Is not her responding to Vicious but to her own thoughts that weigh on her. That kiss has been on her mind for about a week. And her reasoning behind it has changed even moreso. This is her settling on a final conclusion. This is her convincing herself of her own convictions. Of her worldview. That what she did was right, that she didn't ruin something good because it was never good to begin with. So that she doesn't have to confront that ugly realization in the pit of her stomach.

That Cuphead doesn't love her the way she loves him.

That last part specifically. Let's look back at the screenshot yeah?

-"She could almost see Oswald's glare. It was all the same dance. A carousel of pain and betrayal, around and around."

It's a strange thing, isn't it? To bring up Oswald. To equate Oswald to her current situation with Cuphead. Because that is essentially what she's doing, isn't it? It may seem odd, but I do have a reason for why she's thinking that.

Rejection.

Oswald broke up with her and moved on with his life, and Cuphead literally ran from her. Literally the only thing they have in common here, is the fact that they rejected her. But there's another thing too.

"No, she shouldn’t complain. She was lucky she’d found a man with a decent job. Little fights like these weren’t going to end it all for them. Besides, it wasn’t like marriage was about love and all that stardust. She had tried that avenue, and it had ended in heartbreak. Definitely not worth it. Dumb rabbit." (Chapter 74)

The bold is obviously about Oswald. Now compare that to now. Do you see what I mean? She fell in love again, and she got hurt in the process. Nevermind that in both these scenarios the men were also hurt. Especially Cuphead who trusted her and from his perspective, probably assumed she planned on using him for her own needs. Just like Meg. Just like Natasha. And in that way it's very interesting the wording she's using to describe Cuphead, and also Oswald for that matter, rejecting her.

Pain and betrayal. Very edgy, it's giving listening to that one slowed down piano version of Numb that everybody made fandom AMVs to back in the 2000s.

But seriously, why those words? It's a betrayal that Cuphead wasn't interested in the same way she is? Painful sure, that's kind of how rejection works, but betrayal really?

Or.

Is it a betrayal to herself? Thinking of certain aspects of this chapter as Fanny talking to her conscious would definitely lead me to believe that that's partially what it is. She'd already tried the avenue of love twice and it's ended poorly for her, so why did she do it again when she said she wouldn't. Why now, and why with someone like...like him? Like Cuphead? It's absurd in her head. It's something she can't make sense of. Doesn't want to make sense of it either.

So the betrayal could be referring to herself. But, I also think it could be something else, too. But for me to talk about that I have to talk about Oswald and Fanny's relationship because even after a disastrous break up they just can't stay away from each other~

So even though we don't have a lot of context for their relationship, I'm going to go off on a hypothetical that the "betrayal" in regards to Oz is that he offered Fanny (either literally or just like, the idea of the relationship with him gave her that impression) a way out of the dark. From chapter 327 that her home life wasn't great, and she doesn't seem to have any high opinion of her parents at all. Even the mere suggestion of going back home after her break up with Oswald seemed like a worse fate to Fanny than being homeless.

Oswald betrayed her because he was her first love, and also because she was supposed to be living the good life with him. They were supposed to be together forever, but then he broke up with her and next thing Fanny's hearing he's got a successful career and a beautiful wife and kids. She left everything behind for this man only for it to turn out like this. In some ways I can kind of understand what she means. But then she applies this to Cuphead and it's a bit stranger.

Because Cuphead never did anything other than offer her friendship and nothing more. Of course, at the beginning, Cuphead did have a crush on her, but by the end of the Wonderful Winter book he's basically over it. But then I think back to that book specifically, and I think about their interactions throughout and wonder if the betrayal is because Fanny misconstrued everything about their relationship because of how he'd previously acted. Is it the case, that Fanny thought they were both in the same boat, using each other as a form of escapism. She even calls Cuphead out for this at one point and makes an observation about it. Did she think it was the same for him as it was for her? That the feelings were mutual?

And, okay I actually can't blame her for that part. Look, no matter how you slice it, Fanny and Cuphead were just straight up flirting with each other in the early chapters. Not to mention Cuphead asking to take Fanny out to dinner? The Christmas group date? The aftermath?

At the beginning, there may have been mutual feelings of attraction sure but things have changed since then. And even though Cuphead put aside his feelings for her for good, if Fanny had shown any form of reciprocity then maybe things could have changed, but she didn't. But even still it doesn't really explain how Cup could have betrayed her. It stumps me and I've had a good nap to think it through and it's still confusing.

[bulbabutt]

does anyone want to hear my funniest retail story

i had a lady come in to the halloween store. peak 2020 okay, september 2020. she wanted to return a ouija board. like a hasbro brand ouija board, so like a board game box. it was opened and out of its plastic wrap in 2020, so i was staring at that thing in 2020 thinking to myself 'i cannot fucking rewrap this cuz we dont have plastic wrap and even then no one will fucking buy it when a stranger has touched it'

so you might be asking... why? why did she want to return a ouija board?

well i asked her if something was wrong with it. and she responded "it didnt do anything"

which um. its so hard not to laugh sometimes so thank god for masking cuz im sure i had a fucking grin on my face as i was trying to speak to her I CANT CONTROL THAT SOMETIMES. and i had like 2 coworkers with me at the time who were side eyeing us in the same boat of 'is she stupid??'

so i looked at this woman and i was like. "oh... well you see... uh. ouija board dont do anything..."

and she was like "NO! thats NOT true! i had one as a CHILD and it DID do something!"

and then i was just like....... "ok i need to get my manager..." then looped the store rushing around trying to find her with such desperation NOT BECAUSE i thought she would take the ouija board back. but so i could let HER witness this conversation because i was cracking up. because. um. how do you explain to a 40 yr old woman that the reason she THINKS the ouija board she had as a kid worked was because SOMEONE WAS MOVING IT.... i felt like i was about to tell a grown woman that her parents ate santas cookies yk??

so manager was like. "sorry does she not know??" and i was like "NO MAN SHE DOES NOT PLEASE HELP OR IM GOING TO LAUGH AT HER..." so she goes up ever the professional manager she was and tries to tell this woman "well have you seen like youtube tutorials on how these things work?" WE ARE TRYING TO BE SO PROFESSIONAL.... TRUST ME WE WERE BEING SO ADULT. customer was not pleased. arguing that ouija boards move on their own!!!

anyway turns out she had ALREADY DONE THIS at ANOTHER STORE.... the answer there was ALSO clearly NO cuz it was TWENTY TWENTY... AND SHE HAD HAD HER HANDS ALL OVER THE THING SO.... yeah this was at least the SECOND time she'd tried to take it back to a store and argue that they sHOULD MOVE ON THEIR OWN....

but uh. basically she left and as soon as she did everyone fucking burst out laughing trying to think of what advice we should have given her. the advice would have had to go "did you go to a graveyard" "did you turn off the lights" "well, you werent somewhere haunted" YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN??? like MAAM... EITHER YOU WERE HAUNTED AS A CHILD OR YOUR DAD MOVED THE THING!!! IM SO SORRY!!!

[numberonetacostan]

heh.. doom music starts playing as I enter the room…

HEADCANONS I HAVE THAT YOU CAN USE AND PROBABLY SHOULD KNOW BC IM NICE:3

Ok I have two ships for these, tacomic and tacopad.. (Tacopad is angst brace yourself)

for tacomic : Microphone would hold Tacos hand when she talks to someone, if Taco isn’t saying the right things(like rude words n such) she squeezes her hand two times. If she’s close to saying something rude, she squeezes her hand once. (This one is inspired by a fic I read:3)

Taco would admire Microphone whenever she stands up for her, she’s delusional for her trust

MICROPHONE WOULD HIDE TACO IN HER JACKET AND TACO JUST PEEPS HER HEAD OUT LIKE A LITTLE CAT AUGH

now for tacopad:D(some r angst some r fluff ill be nice)

Whenever taco is sad or stress mepad makes a whole spa day for her with her favorite snacks, drinks, flowers and wine:3

Uh uh err When Taco feels scared of someone, mepad goes in front of her like a shield and makes sure she feels safe behind him!!!

Whenever taco thinks about mepad she plays fukouna girl or any type of sad song and thinks about the fun times she had with him (PLEAEE LISTEN TO FUKOUNA GIRL IF U HAVENT ITS ON YT MAKE SURE TO PUT SONG AFTER IT…,..)

Taco thinks about a bunch of stuff, mostly that if Mepad never knew about her backstory, he would’ve ran away and never helped her, so she regrets stealing the million even more..,,

fluff and angst for tacopad were by my friends, the last one was by me <33

OKAY MY HANDS HURT IM DONE BYEBYEEE

-nori🐬

Hello Nori!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for sending in your hcs!!! ESPECIALLY THE TACOPAD BECAUSE I LOVE TACOPAD!!!!!!!! I love talking about tacomic with everyone of course of course but I also love talking about my main man Mepad!!!!!!!! :D

That would be such a good system, I think!!! Taco and Mic get to hold hands with each other, which is already wonderful, but it can help Taco when interacting with others!!!!^^ I can see her being unintentionally rude after all the time she went without interacting with people, and also I can see her being intentionally rude because she wants to be lol.

She WOULD!!!! There aren't a lot of people willing to stand up for Taco due to her past, she'd really respect and cherish the people who stand up for her <3

ANDJKANJDJSKDNASJK SECRET TACO POPPING OUT OF HER JACKET!!!!!!!! I can imagine her sneaking Taco into the hotel like this nfeuwfhuewihuewihfuew XD.

OH BOY TACOPAD!!!!!! :D MEPAD WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THAT HE'S A KING AN ICON AND A GENTLEMAN!!!!!!!!!!! Really though he would make so sure Taco was well taken care of even if she struggles with self-care!!!! He is so very kind and gentle with her which is exactly what she needs <3.

Yeah Taco has times in which she needs to lay face down and listen to sad music and think about Mepad. It's healthy to let yourself grieve!!!! I listened to the song- it was nice!! I liked it, thanks :3

AUGH she might think that!!! I hope not though!!! Mepad was sticking around either way!!!^^ He cared so so very deeply about all the contestants, he wouldn't have just left them. We see him teleport back out to where they all are before Taco kidnaps him- he was going to watch over and/or help them.

Thank you to you and your friends!!!

[cheshirecatuniverse]

If Rocky had a baby sister

notes: this may be off canon a little!! im making rocky late twenties-ish. featuring: white rascals

The most important thing for Rocky is for his little sister to be able to sleep safely under a roof. From the moment he finished the last meal his mother ever made for him, he had went to the portable crib that she was sleeping soundly in, carried her carefully, and never looked back.

He lived paycheck to paycheck until he opened Club Heaven. Do you know how expensive formula is?? Rocky had to learn, and learn how to raise a baby all together.

White Rascals wouldn't know about Rocky's sister until he would allow them to know.

Koo, however, would slowly learn about it due to the odd errands he gets every so often. Like buying $3 watercolors and disney princess cups.

Then, finally, during the daytime, Rocky walks in Club Heaven with a small child holding his hand.

Kizzy was the most offended from the secret while Kaito was indifferent.

Koo was the most nonchalant and was silently patting himself in back for being a good detective.

"Well, what is she doing here then?" Kizzy says as she looks across the room. His sister sitting on one of the white couches, swinging her feet happily as she goes through her backpack.

"The nanny is sick," Rocky sighs, not entirely convinced this is the best idea. Little did he know this wouldn't be the last time.

His sister would be shy at overwhelming new faces. Hiding or revolving near her big brother for some time.

Koo would be the most patient with her, kneeling down with a warm expression and asking if she was hungry, thirsty, or wanted to watch something on one of the Club Heaven TVs.

Sometimes, when the Club Heaven dancers come in way early before opening hours, they like to coo and awe at how adorable Rocky's little sister is.

Kizzy is quick to spoil her, making sure she gets lollipops from Rocky's stash. Brushing her hair or playing games while Rocky's busy.

"Kizzy, Kizzy, Kizzy," She heard little footsteps running at her, tugging at her jacket. "It's ballerina time!"

Kaito watched as the two posed and twirled around for a good 10 minutes.

At the start of the school year, Rocky made sure to walk his sister inside. As soon as she saw where she was supposed to go, she turned around and nudged Rocky away with her small hands.

In her little voice, she looked up to him and said, "I don't need you now, Rocky. Byebye."

He locked himself in his lounge at Club Heaven for a good hour. Koo, standing by the entrance, could hear sniffling.

Rocky cooks like a michelin chef, no one will ever compare to her big brother's cooking.

Rocky tries to give her the very best of anything and everything. She spoiled in toys, clothing, and most importantly, love.

Rocky always, always, reminds her that if anyone tries to hurt her or she feels uncomfortable with someone that she should tell him. He thinks it's important to have her trust at an early age, wanting to protect his little sister always.

She would want to have tea parties, with Rocky, and of course, he would do what she asked.

At random times, she'd run up to him and drag him to the living room so that they could build the worlds biggest pillow fort.

One time, she'd asked to put sticker rhinestones on his grill, and he has a problem of not saying no to her, so he lets it happen.

After she stuck a bunch of those plastic rhinestones on his teeth, she turned off the lights to the room. Rocky was confused until a flashlight was aimed at his teeth.

She cheered, "Party time!"

Rocky was a walking disco ball.

Once a week, she'd want a night where she and Rocky would wear face masks and make him paint her nails, and Rocky honestly has no idea where she got the idea from?? But he very quickly learned how to paint her little nails, the bright pink she'd like, without messing up.

He has five albums worth of baby pictures. (He's the 'BITCH I'M A MOTHER, NO DRAMA'.)

Obviously, Rocky has been getting into fights his whole life. But when his sister was old enough to notice the scratches and bruises she'd care a lot.

"Shhh, Shhh," Rocky would gently call her name as she cried at the sight. She was scared. He had knelt down, wiping her tears with his sleeve. "I'm okay. I promise I'm okay."

She jumped in for a hug and he continued to soothe her.

"You pinky promise?"

"I pinky promise."

When she was learning to speak, his favorite thing to that she would repeat was, "I love you." Before he'd leave the house, he would call to her and he'd say it, and then she would with a hug. He'd wondered how such a small human being could give the world's biggest hugs.

As a toddler, she'd wake up at random hours of the night. When he saw her up from her crib, he'd sit right next to it and sing her something so she'd fall asleep. Sometimes, she would even hum along, which was the most adorable thing imaginable.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," Rocky would sing.

"Aaaaa, Aaaaa, Aaaa," She would blabber with him.

Moments like those reminded him he still had a family. She was her family, and that could be enough for him.

[jjcocker]

guhguh ghuh Ok random thought agaaai n.. Yes uts rockers and for once i Wont be traumatizing jj more than I already do. Bc this time its cc babyyyy

I onlh add content warnings when im mid typing thepost. But still. cws for mentions/sorta descriptions of parental abuse (mainly verbal. but i mention physical too)

so this isss more bc I wana imagine a deftones animatic (again its w rhe song i mentioned; be quiet and drive)

uhh ok. So umm

cecil (I'm not gonna be super decisive in names. I like to call him cecil toooo but I wnna hold on tocalling him satoshi i donr KNOW) is the youngest of his family

I hc his family to be. A lot of people. (from youngest to oldest; him, pitcher, tj snappers girlfriend, megamix soshi, fever cd soshi, tengoku soshi (yes i think theyre all different soshis,. Srocker himself counts as one), pierce/pcg)

and he was also the last person to still live with his parents. Mainly bc he's the youngest yes . And he was. Definitely not seen as like. successful by his parebts standards? Idk what I mean I treid to sleep rn But yhen i thiught of thsi post and then. And then ySha)... he Needs like some support. Support that his pparents dont entirely give (read: DONT GIVE AT ALL). So he'd really struggle. and he was treated like shit for most of jis lifetime. He was always seen as a slob bc. OH OOH what if all his oldet siblings were like "prodigies" n stuff. and for a moment he was set up to be one (idk maybe. go ona whole different career) but idk Something took a toll on him and he just. started falling back while everyone else was out there Making It In Life. and his mom used Everyone Else to compare w him. sometimes even in front of the person hes comparing him with which would only make stuff. More awkward ( pierce as an example. Imagine ur mom is berating ur like 13 year old brother and comparing him to you (you are 27 years old with a job))(ages are just a randim throwaround I'm not sure just hwo okd I'll make all of them be but. yeahh its Like That)

he was constantly treated like a lazy couch potato guy. Oh yea also his mom did Not like when hed do guitar lessons. idk she just didnt see him making music as something worth anything. after all he's falling behind so Hard compared to his siblings ..

shed call him a lost cause- because "how can you Still Live with your mother, youre 20! you couldve been like pierce! or like sou! or like-" ok yeah u get itt... idk I think his mom jsut sees him as wasted talent. someone with so much potential only to waste it all on uh. *checks notes*. His hobbies. so everyday it was just getting insulted, feeling like a dead weight and burden 2 his mom (bc the way she'd talk and act to him was . Like that? yk) bc he couldve gotten out of that place quicker had he not been A Slob™. (he is 22 and is medium support needs)

i uh. Okay this will be a bit more extreme.

uh ever since he was .. like 9 he'd get Hit for not doing things right.

somethibg that would still happen sometimes even as he reached adulthood bc. I dont know actually his mom's just A Bitch.

idk howw exactly but uh eventually he has a big argument w her which ends w him like. really battered and bruised. and he gets kicked out of the house. the only thing he was allowed to take though was his guitar (which she Ruined) and the clothes he was wearing.

he calls jj (theyre Friends by here) and asks to stay @ his place. not revealing the reason why bc he didnt wanna worry her. Which she goes "yea sure I'm actually Drivin' (like the kk slider song HEEHEE) rn so I can pick you up there !"

so hes like. SHITSHITAHITSHITHSIT bc then he'd have to explain everything to jj but can't really. do anything. so she comes there and ahes like. "hii ccHOLY SHIT? ARE YOU ALRIHJT" .. when hte last thing cc wanted was for jj to worry about himm so je only felt Guilt. he just lies "yea I ummm.... Got too silly ^_^". she doesnt pressure him to like say much but like. idk they trust eachotuer enough to like. truly open up about stuff. which he does.

"...and,, yeha thats all! and thatsss how I just. kinda lost my home :P"

"Can i kill your mom"

"WHUH"

and yeah.. she drives off and hes finally far away from everything. Okay thats it!!! sorry for all this

[aladaylessecondblog]

Lil Nerevar

Author's Note: Haj-deek is discovered much earlier and is taken to Red Mountain along with Im-Kilaya.

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There was no mistaking the little face; they had all seen it before it pressed shyly back into Im-Kilaya's neck. Lord Dagoth's blood, and no mistake. The ring she wore on two fingers was the final clue.

"Where did you get that?" she had been asked.

"It was my mama's. She's gone now."

After a lengthy pause Haj-deek spoke again.

"I'm scared," she mumbled against Im-Kilaya's scales, "They look scary. They gonna eat us?"

"No, child, they're not going to eat us. They think...they think you are someone very important to Dagoth Ur."

She gasped.

"Everything is going to be alright."

They'd been placed in a side room, the door of which was being guarded by an ascended sleeper. He seemed to hear their conversation and floated forward.

"We have no plans to eat you, child. The Sixth House is not a house of barbarians. We are simply unprepared to receive you."

"What's dat mean?"

"It means that Lord Dagoth did not know of you."

"Why the vol-cano man care?" Haj-deek seemed unsure of where to look.

"Does she not know?" the sleeper looked to Im-Kilaya, who though frightened was masking it well enough.

"We hadn't yet told her, no," Im-Kilaya said, "Because we were afraid she might let it slip...and even in an Imperialist town like Ebonheart..."

"Im-kiwaya says the temple doesn't like me! Or my mama!" she said. "Or my mama's ring."

"And where is your mother?"

A new voice rang out now, one stronger than that of the sleeper, who immediately dropped into a bow at the new entrant's feet.

Haj-deek looked at Im-kilaya, a question in her little red eyes.

"I'll talk to him, little one."

Then she hid her face against his neck again.

"Her mother is dead," Im-Kilaya said, "She passed birthing Haj-deek, and asked us to care for her."

Silence. The taller figure drew closer, and now Haj-deek actually turned to look at him.

------------------------------

The stranger was wearing a big golden mask.

"That...IS...a very pretty ring," he said, gesturing to it. "It was your mother's, you said?"

"Yes," Haj-deek nodded, "Yes, it was my mama's. She gave it to me when I was born."

"She does not know all," Im-Kilaya said, repeating what he had to the sleeper, "A chattering child may share news to the wrong person by accident, you understand."

"You should be kneeling right now," the strange man said, "Why are you not? Do you think yourself my equal?"

"I stand on my feet before you because without me she would not be here either," Im-Kilaya said. He was shaking, still holding closely to Haj-deek, "Because without me, and the others of the mission, her mother would not have made it far enough to birth her."

"I am a xal-toh!" Haj-deek spoke up suddenly, "It means say-kred secret."

"They gave you THAT as a name?"

"No, no. My name is Haj-deek. Im-kilaya says it means I hidden child!" She paused and looked over the mask again. It felt familiar. She felt like she'd seen it before.

"Yes," Im-Kilaya said, speaking to her now, "Because your mother loved you very much, and wanted you to be safe from the Tribunal faithful."

"Surely her mother would have known she was safe with me, and the rest of her House," the stranger said.

Haj-deek was put on her feet, and told to go play with the tentacle-face man. He seemed like fun - he said he used to have a daughter, and so he suggested a tea-party, the supplies for which were soon gathered in a corner. Im-Kilaya was telling her it was alright, so it must be.

------------------------

"Her mother," Im-Kilaya finally said, "Never told us it was you herself...we learned that from the journal she kept after she died. She was weak, you understand - her wounds would not heal by spell or potion, and she did not dare make the attempt to leave Ebonheart in her delicate condition."

"And she trusted you?"

"As much as her daughter does." The fear seemed to be leaving the lizard, as he now stood a bit taller, and wasn't shaking as much. "That business you had the Dren slaver - all but kidnapping us, that scared her. If I were to meet with an unfortunate end, I have no doubt you will not find what you seek here."

There was a pause.

(The Hist had told him it would be so.)

"I would like to propose a trade," Im-Kilaya finally said, "I can give you several things, but I want some in return as well."

"I should smite you where you stand. Would you like that, lizard?" The golden mask held no emotion but his voice certainly made up for it. "What more could you give me that I do not now have?"

"Her mother's ashes. I guarantee that should I meet an unfortunate end, those of the Mission would not be inclined to cooperate with you. And without their help you would never be able to find her ashes on your own. Undoubtedly you want your daughter to see you as what you are to her - I can help you there as well."

"And in return I suppose you wish the end of slavery? For the beastfolk to rise above their--"

"That and more," Im-Kilaya said, "But I must remind you that in her mother's darkest hour it was not Sadara's fellow Dunmer to save her, but the beastfolk you so despise."

He looked at Haj-deek, engaged in her mock tea party with the sleeper, who seemed to be quite enjoying himself.

"We only wish you to remember that."

[conanssummerchild]

i finally gave in and im making some rick and morty oc's >:))

we have:

Rick Sanchez A-26M

Morty Smith L9-DD

Summer Sanchez X-1217 (she changed her surname to sanchez after escaping her dimension. maybe her jerry was abusive or something. in reality i just want her to be summer sanchez. might find a way to make morty morty sanchez too.)

Beth Smith N0T (thats a zero but it is reffered to as dimension not or the not dimension or smth)

Jerry Smith N0T

and they all live on Earth dimension N0T

backstory:

(ignore that i refer to summer as summer x-22 in the ss, i changed my mind or her dimensional code, it is x-1217)

ive never made an oc before literally ever in my life (let alone 5) but im working on the lore rn and maybe sometime this month i'll do character designs but im really busy rn. definitely by the end of summer tho

additional info:

rick has paranoia depression anxiety adhd and autism (but he refuses to go to therapy so most of these arent actually diagnosed, but im literally his creator so i know, with the exception of paranoia (due to his psycotic break he was briefly forced into citadel therapy or whatever) and depression. i dont think he knows about the anxiety/he refuses to acknowledge it and he self medicates his adhd. he knows about the autism) hes also still an alcoholic (like most ricks i think) his beth jerry and summer's whereabouts are unknown (at least until i think of smth better 😭)

morty's rick is dead but when he was alive he was lowkey kinda nice (if overly and unhealthily dependant on morty) so morty misses him dearly :( morty tried to help his rick recover from dianes death and stop him from destroying himself finding rick prime but he couldnt and he blames himself for ricks death, he has a lot of abandonment issues and maybe some ptsd too. hes a bit more prickly than your standard morty until he really gets close to someone, hes less immediately trusting. after his rick died he ran away from home to the citadel, trying to find another rick but after a few years and about 5 ricks he realised it was useless and he would never be able to really replace his rick. his family was assigned another morty after he split and they're fine. he hung around the morty town locos for a while until finding summer x-22

summer's whole family is alive still but she ran away from home due to her jerry being abusive, as i mentioned earlier. she stole ricks portal gun and portalled over to the citadel, but the portal gun was damaged and she couldnt go anywhere else. morty l9-dd found her crying behind the creepy morty and tried to steal her portal gun (bcs the morty town locos fw portal fluid) but she pinned him against a wall and told him she'd slit his throat out if he didnt help her so he agreed. they bonded after that and became pretty much inseparable.

summer confided that she hadnt had a good relationship with her morty bcs he always turned a blind eye to the abuse and excused jerry. morty told her he spent so much time trying to keep his rick from spiralling that he never formed much of a relationship with his summer

when they get to dimension N0T beth and jerry seem perfect but they soon find out that the rick of this dimension was dead of suicide or smth and that beth tried to commit to after his death maybe. beth here is also an alcoholic, like c-131 is and jerry is in charge of keeping up appearances, which is harder once you have 3 new people living in your broken home.

im not sure a lot of this still might change it needs a lot of work

defining traits (both personality and physical):

rick: more quiet, often zones out and seems like hes not even there, but still bitchy when he does talk. when they first get to N0T he barely leaves his room for 2 months and beth keeps panicking bcs shes worried he'll kill himself like her rick. even tho she doesnt know him he looks so much like her rick did (bcs theyre both ricks duh) and its just stirring back up some stuff for her. his hair is a little flatter than c-137. perhaps he has a fringe. maybe he wears a soft wool jumper. je has self harm scars but always wears long sleeves, so theyre not visible

morty: his tones a bit sharper, hes more skeptical of ppl than morty prime is. hates rick prime almost as much as a-26m does. darker yellow t shirt (like the mortys in mortytown) scars across his eye (I KNOW IM NOT ORIGINAL OK i didnt want to put the scar down his lip bcs i didnt want to assosciate him with evil rick and morty, he has nothing to do with them) maybe the scar is across his cheek idk

summer: always a bit on edge, carries a knife on her at all times. incredibly mistrusting of jerry N0T when they got there. still weary of him and doesnt let him get too close. jerry is too tired trying to keep up appearances to really do much to try and ease summers mistrust of him. black tank top instead of pink. hot pink belt on her jeans tho maybe. loose hair bcs a ponytail is too easy to grab, sharp nails, painted pink. bruises on her arms that start to fade in the beginning of her time on the citadel with morty

beth: often out of it or drunk, more so the more time rick morty and summer stay bcs she cares less and less about keeping how shitty shes doing from them. at the beginning she seems like a perfect housewife, or someone putting on a performance of one. looks pretty much the same if not a little more disheveled, in the beginning wears one of those fancy white frilly aprons with a red heart embroidered. drops the apron as she drops the act

jerry: tired, dark circles maybe (rick and morty also have these, summer and jerry wear makeup to cover them, beth and rick have eyebags also) starts wearing the apron when beth stops lol, defeated demeanour, kinda depressed a lot of the time. lonely

anyway a lot of this is probably gonna be changed idkkkk

ooh also how long it took for a bond to form between characters:

rick and morty: about 2-3 months. both desperately missed their old partners which sped it up a bit but morty was scared of getting attached and rick at the start was too out of it most days to really form any kind of connection also he was scared of getting attatched too but for different reasons (morty was scared he'd lose another rick, rick felt like everyone he got close to ended up worse off (diane, his prev morty))

rick and summer: like maybe 5 months, they didnt interact much at first, like i said rick was too out of it and summer didnt really trust rick and saw him as unstable, but as rick grew closer to morty, summer slowly became a little less suspicious and maybe rick helped her with smth and they bonded over that idk

rick and beth: their initial relationship was not healthy, beth trying desperately to prevent rick from killing himself and rick not being willing to work on himself healthily, causing beth great panic and anxiety, but after like 6 months or so they become drinking buddies, still not the healthiest father-daughter relationship but it eases beths mind and makes rick feel less alone

rick and jerry: even after like 10 months living at the smith house rick and jerry dont have much of a relationship, both are too caught up in their own exhaustion to make an effort to bond, may change at some point

morty and summer: started to form a relationship within the first week of meeting eachother, maybe 7 or so months before they encountered rick (i need to make a timeline) probably the strongest relationship of all of these listed

morty and beth: surprisingly quickly, within the first 1 or 2 months, morty misses his mum and he wants to try and help beth a bit

morty and jerry: mutual respect for eachother, morty helps jerry out around the house and with things, started like this after anytime between a few weeks and 2 months

summer and beth: 4 months, took a while but eventually they formed a bond, its easier for summer to relax around beth and beth likes having a daughter

summer and jerry: still distrust after 10 months, will likely take a long time for any kind of relationship to form, no matter how minor

beth and jerry: pre established relationship obviously but its not a very good or happy one, maybe after 9 months they start trying to work on it again

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

YOYOYOYO DYSTOPIA AU / OC LORE DROP!!!

i decided that im gonna do it out of order because it makes it a lot funner for me to put things together and stuff!! but yeah yeah this is a chunky read, abt ~5600 words give or take? and tumblr kept posting it when i wasn't done fixing the formatting and it was so horrid😭😭 but it's good now!!

im gonna probably reblog this or edit it later with an ao3 link to make it easier to read

but yes yes i hope someone in this world enjoys this au a fraction as much as i do because that would have made all this struggle to getting it out worth it :)

reblog / reply with literally anything you thought about this i am in desperate need for someone to know about this in the way i do sososoososo that being said have fun

SEPTEMBER 7, 2024

DYSTOPIA, [UNIDENTIFIED]

2:26 AM

"Are you mad at me?" Ollie asks as he's following his friend down a dark alley behind Mallory's Community Center. Yara looked a bit off-putting right now— walking with an indignation that sort of scared him. If Ollie wasn't her friend, he'd avoid her.

"No," she responded, voice soft. Kind.

In this entire operation, Yara was the only thing Ollie trusted. She was the only thing Ollie stayed for. He didn't trust anything here. This was a cult, and sure, he was currently best friends with a girl in a cult, but she was kind. She was different than them. Ollie knew that if he could take her out of Dystopia, if he could take her to Swellview and on boat trips and hold her hand in his room while they did each other's hair (platonically, of course— his heart had always been set on that boy who'd stayed in Swellview after he'd left), she'd be a different person.

She'd do better.

"What is this, then?"

She didn't respond. It kind of scared Ollie. She'd broken into the house in the middle of the night, she'd opened his window and told him to pack everything he wanted to keep into a bag and leave with him. It was fucking creepy. Nay, it was terrifying. Ollie hadn't thought the operation would reach the lengths of his own home. But Henry had said he could go, he'd put a tracker on him just in case. Just to make sure he'd never be far.

And like that, he'd followed Yara. And over these weeks of getting to know her, he knew he'd follow her pretty much anywhere. But right now, he doubted if that was even a smart choice to begin with.

They turned a corner, getting further from Mallory's Community Center and closer to places Henry had banned the group as a whole from going to. Everyone except himself, of course, because he was always an exception. Ollie could scoff at it. But he'd said it was one of the more dangerous corners that Dystopia had to offer— big league villains with objectives and goals bigger than them. Things not even Henry considered himself ready for.

"Yara, what is this?" he repeated, hoping to get through to her. To get some kind of information, because this was freaking him the fuck out.

Silence.

"I'm not mad at you."

Yara looked back at Ollie, sort of slowing her pace to a stop. She looked at Ollie— he looked nervous. Scared. Her brows furrowed, and she took his hand, squeezing it. It was dark, the light of a single street lamp that flickered in and out illuminating Ollie's view of her. He could have sworn he'd seen her blush, but the light wasn't steady enough to make it out.

"I'm not mad at you at all."

"Are we in danger?"

"No!"

Yara laughed a bit, like the idea was absurd. It forced Ollie to give a half-hearted chuckle too, just to try to match the energy. His hands were cold as he held hers tighter— warm and soft and safe. Even if he didn't understand a thing right now.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, still laughing a tiny bit.

"I don't know- I don't- I mean-- look at this!"

Ollie let go of one of Yara's hands to gesture around them. To the abandoned buildings, broken windows and a desolate environment. Hollow. His voice sounded a bit annoyed, somewhere between frustrated and concerned.

"You- I was sleeping and you just broke into my place, told me to pack all my stuff into your backpack, and told me to come with you! And the stupider thing is that I did! And now you won't even tell me where we are, or what we're going to do, and you've taken me to this place--"

"Orion," Yara began, as if she was trying to soothe Ollie. Or shut him up. One of the two.

"It's fine. You're not in trouble or anything, but-"

"Are you in trouble? Yara, we can leave."

Ollie scoffed a bit, taking Yara's hand again.

"Do you think we're trapped here or something? We can leave Dystopia if you want. We can go wherever if you're in trouble!-"

"Why would I want to leave Dystopia?" she asked incredulously, and Ollie stopped. Gh. Why wouldn't you want to leave Dystopia?

"I'm not in trouble, and neither are you. We're fine. In fact, we're more than fine."

"If we're more than fine, why did you pull me out of my room at three in the morning?"

"Will you just walk with me?"

Ollie paused for a second, thinking it over. He could just leave right now. He could just walk away and go back home. He didn't _have_ to walk with her. But she had his most prized possessions on her back, and she looked so... off. Ollie almost didn't want to leave her alone. The curiosity to know what was going on was stronger than his drive to be left alone and go to sleep.

He let her hands go and began walking.

The silence was almost threatening, and Ollie got an incredibly bad feeling about this. He felt like right now was the right moment, maybe last moment, to turn back and go home. Like a notion that he was about to walk right into something horrible. Just then, before Ollie could really think any deeper about it, Yara spoke.

"Mallory and I have been thinking about you," she began. Ollie felt a bit grossed out— he'd never felt good about Mallory. Besides the fact he was a literal cult leader, he just had a bad air to him. Ollie tensed for a second. Had they found out about the mission?

"and we think you've been... great, really."

Ollie let out a sigh of relief.

"I mean, helping Alex out with orders and stuff. Helping Mel with the kids. Advocating for the truth at the meets Mallory does. You're really an exemplary child of Osiris. You have balls— new club members aren't really all for that, and you are."

"Thanks," Ollie responded, giving a bit of a smile. It wavered as a gust of wind brushed his skin— he wasn't really wearing anything adequate for the weather. An old shirt and gym shorts from his freshman year in highschool that he surprisingly never grew out. Maybe if he'd been given some sort of warning in advance, he'd be dressed for the occasion.

A murder of crows flew by them as Yara started speaking again— Ollie counted seven.

"We wanted to... give you a formal welcome into the Harbingers," she started up again, making Ollie raise a brow. They turned another corner, into some kind of warehouse. It didn't have doors, and felt more like a parking lot than a warehouse now that Ollie paid a bit more attention to it. His mind was racing; what does that mean, what the fuck does that mean?

"You've done well with your initiation. Passed with flying colors, even. This is just a sort of final thing, yknow? Just to make sure you're with us."

"Do you doubt it?" Ollie asked back quickly. Seriously, what is this place?

"No, not at all! I'd never doubt your loyalty. None of us would. If we did, why would I bring you here?"

She smiled as she led Ollie across the abandoned parking lot, into a sort of sector that looked like it could be a store. A mall, it hits Ollie. This used to be a mall. Eugh, he does not like the sound of that. Malls are big, with a lot of rooms to hide things in. They're echoey, sure, but who goes to an abandoned mall? Who'd look for anything in an abandoned mall in a place as big and as technologically ahead as Dystopia?

If he went missing right now, who'd look for him here?

Was Henry even checking the tracker?

Ollie kept his quiet as he was led into a smaller area— it looked like it could be the lounge area before a bathroom. Or a changing room, or a lounge room. It was way too dark to tell. The room was barely lit, the only thing being a muffled light in the corner that wasn't strong enough to really help anything, and he could barely see Yara. She had taken his hand to guide him, and right now, Ollie was holding it tight enough to break it.

"You don't have to be afraid," someone spoke in front of him. Too close to him. Ollie yelped, taking a frightened step back and dragging Yara with him.

The sound of a match lighting could be heard, the fire sparking and illuminating the room a tiny bit. Whoever held the match was the person that had spoken, holding the fire to the candle he held in another hand.

Mallory.

Ollie could vomit.

He and Yara were laughing a tiny bit at Ollie's reaction, shaking his head.

"We're so sorry for scaring you, Orion," he began, passing the candle to someone Ollie could recognize as Alex. He took the candle around the room, lighting each one that was on the wall— held by a candle holder. Ollie furrowed his brows a bit as he watched it.

"We did not mean for it to be so dark in here, but the draft from outside kept coming in and putting the candles out— we kept the door open for Yara and you, but now that you're both here, we can keep the light on."

"... why not use lightbulbs?" Ollie deadpanned, as if the question was obvious. Mallory blinked, and spoke with a tone of genuine confusion.

"Excuse you?"

"Lightbulbs," he repeated. "Aren't lightbulbs a lot easier to use? Especially cause it's windy?"

"Candles are more natural. They come from the ground's natural materials, hydrocarbons that give more of an earthy feel--"

"They look a lot cooler than a lightbulb," Yara cut Mallory off, looking at Ollie. Mallory nodded.

"... yeah, they look a lot cooler than a lightbulb."

Ollie just sort of stared between them. That was so stupid.

"So, what is this?" he asked, looking around the room. Definitely an old lounge room. There were a good two or three other members of the Harbingers standing behind Mallory, in the back corners of the room. There was some sort of barrel next to one of them, with something inside of it, and in the middle of the room was a chair. With... straps? Rope?

Ollie shuddered.

"Well, Yara has told you about this being the final step to your initiation, no?" Mallory asked, and Ollie nodded. He swallowed, and it felt like swallowing a rock.

"She wasn't wrong— do you, by any chance, know what the final step might be?"

He hated how Mallory spoke to him like he was in kindergarten. He hated the way he looked, that stupid cloak. He wanted to beat up everyone in this room and go back home. He didn't know what stopped him. Maybe it was Henry's voice in the back of his head telling him he'd jeopardize the mission. Maybe it was Charlotte's, telling him it'd be better to just see it out for everything it was. He couldn't really hear his own voice between the fear and everyone in his head telling him what to do.

Maybe that was the most important part.

"I- don't?" Ollie responds meekly. "But it looks kind of scary, if it has to be done here-"

"It's not scary," Mallory reassured, putting a hand on Ollie's back. Ollie pulled away from it, but Mallory was persistent on keeping him close. Walking him over to the chair. "It's a way to connect you to Osiris, to unite Its followers under one common-"

"What is it?" Ollie insisted through gritted teeth, backing away from Mallory and from all of this. Closer to Yara, and closer to the exit.

Yara put a hand on Ollie's shoulder, making him look back at her.

"Calm down, Orion," she said, and it somehow found a way to make Ollie's shoulders drop a bit— less tense. She had a way of doing that. It made Ollie feel safe. She took her jacket off as she began speaking, tying it around her waist.

"Remember that time when we were on that truck?" she asked. "And you started pointing out all our scars and stuff?"

Of course he did, how could he forget?

A full night. They'd spent a full night in the back of Yara's old truck, 12 miles out from Dystopia in a field to get away from the heavy pollution of the city. They'd set out to see the stars and do the drugs that were left over from the transportation that night. It was early into the mission, a few days after he'd first signed up for it. It was stuff Mallory didn't need, so Yara thought they'd be able to just have fun with it while they stargaze, away from Dystopia and away from the world at large

Ollie remembers it as the first time he's ever used. It was great, but it was also kind of confusing— he didn't even know what it was, but he knew that it felt great. He found out he gets really fucking giggly and clingy when he's high, and he'd laid down in the back of the truck with Yara and started counting her freckles. Counting the scars on her arms and asking for their stories, landing on a weird looking one on her upper right arm.

It was what she showed Ollie once she took off her jacket, and it only settled in now what it actually was.

The Harbingers logo.

"No," Ollie said almost immediately, beating Yara to the punch as she had almost started to explain for herself why she'd brought up the memory. The idea of what they wanted to do to him was starting to settle in. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest— this is absolutely fucking insane. No. They're not- he's not going to let this happen.

"You're not doing that to me."

"Come here, Orion," Mallory cooed, grabbing onto Ollie's hand, to which he quickly jerked away.

"No! I'm not letting you brand me!"

"It's not just a branding," Yara said, moving towards the door as she looked into Ollie's eyes. Blocking his only way out.

"It's a way to connect to the God above. To show your unity and faith."

"I- I am faithful!" Ollie began, stumbling over his words as Mallory stepped towards him. He sounded a bit desperate, as if pleading with the people around him. The silence was deafening, and he felt like a cornered dog.

"I'm faithful! You said you didn't doubt that!"

"Then why won't you let us do this?" Mallory asked, getting more insistent. A bit closer to Ollie, too, like an animal trainer. Or a capturer.

"Because I don't want to be branded, dude- who-- who wants to be branded?!"

"Orion, just-" Yara began, but she was cut off.

"I'm not letting you guys do this. I'll do- I'll go to the masses, I'll wear the cloaks, I'll do whatever you want, but not--"

"You're condemning yourself."

"No, I'm not!"

Ollie began to try to start for the door, push Yara out of the way and run, but he felt someone grab him from behind. Yanking on the back of his shirt, pulling him in and grabbing his torso, raising him up and off the floor. Ollie turned his head, turned to see who's face he'd be pounding in.

Alex.

"Fuck, dude, don't- no! I don't want this, let me go!"

Ollie felt so fucking stupid for not being able to get out of his grasp. He thrashed, kicking his legs and clawing at Alex's arms, biting his hands trying to make him let go, but he didn't budge. Had he paid more attention to Henry when he teaches stuff, or been a better fighter, or gone on more missions, or anything, he might've been able to get out of this. He knew Sovi would. He knew Henry would. Fuck, even Piper would probably do better than this pathetic squirming thing Ollie was doing. He was too focused on surviving to think about practical ways to do it, and as he began yelling at his once-friend for restraining him like this, Mallory began speaking.

"Calm down," he began, and Ollie wanted to spit on him.

"You really shouldn't be put off by your initiation! This is all just a part of the process, and I promise you that everyone you love here has done it. Myself included!"

"I don't love you," Ollie spat as he was pushed down into the chair, the other Harbingers in the room coming from behind to tie him down. Yara gave a surprised look at the comment. Ollie didn't notice it, too focused on trying to get these people off of him.

"That is truly a shame," Mallory said, coming closer to Ollie and kneeling himself down in front of him.

"because I love you. And I love Yara, and I love Alex, and I love all our members. You're all equal and so, so important to me. This is why I'm doing this, do you not understand?"

Mallory put his hands on Ollie's balled fist, almost holding it. The worst part was that the hold felt loving. Like he was truly trying to comfort him, even through the disgust and rage Ollie was feeling. It was a gentle hold that felt fueled with nothing but care, even if this man meant nothing close to it. This man was nothing close to it.

He wanted to cry.

"I'm doing this because I love you. Because I truly want you to survive through The Final Abolishment. You will be recognized as a child of Osiris, and it will be... wonderful. It will feel like waking up for the first time."

He breathed it out like he truly believed it. Ollie hated himself for ever following Yara right about now. Mallory rubbed a thumb against his hand as tears pricked Ollie's eyes, and Ollie took a deep breath to compose himself. His jaw was clenched, hackles raised— he was furious and emotional and yet, Mallory soothed him like he was soothing a child. Ollie felt like anything but right now— he felt too grown for his own good, and he wanted to go home. And as stupid as it might sound, he wanted to sink into Sovilo's arms and cry, because this whole mission was just more than he ever knew he could take on.

Maybe that's why Mallory was treating him that way.

"Don't cry. People feel like this when they first sit here, too, did you know? I felt like you, too, when it was my first time branding myself. Because I was unsure. Because I wasn't fully devoted. I promise you that this is it, Orion, this is the turning point. You will never feel more connected to Osiris than now, okay? Do you trust me?"

'Not even with the time,' Ollie wanted to snap, but felt the last rope tighten around his leg and knew he was at this dude's full disposal. He didn't have any powers like Sovi or Henry— he couldn't use brute force to get out of the chair, he couldn't 'forcefield' these dudes away from him. He wasn't indestructible. It was just him and his words and his wits and that was it— and he wasn't even that smart! He just thought this would be a drug op! This wasn't the mission he signed up for!

Henry had promised him it wouldn't ever get physical against Ollie, not until he was ending the mission entirely. This didn't feel like the end at all, and it felt so far from the beginning. He couldn't out himself now, because that meant so much worse for everyone else he loved. If they branded the people they loved in this cult, what would they do to the people that betrayed them?

"... I trust you," Ollie breathed out, heart pounding in his ears. He could faint. Mallory, however, was satisfied with the answer and stood up.

"Then let us do this."

The moments between Mallory getting up and the branding iron being pushed against his upper arm were a blur. He could hear Yara sort of come closer to him, feel her grab onto his hand tight as if to help ground him. He didn't know what he was supposed to do about this— he was literally about to be fucking branded. And he didn't want anything to do with it.

He could hear the barrel open, could hear hot coals shift around in it as Mallory used a glove to grab the branding iron. The stick wasn't as hot as the logo itself that was attached onto the end of it; the glove looked more like a precautionary measure more that anything. And as Mallory approached with it, Ollie could see it. Red hot. Smoking.

Ollie could hear himself plead with Mallory for a second. "Please, don't do this, you don't have to do this, I'm a true follower, I swear!" he could hear himself beg from a second entity, from a glass wall outside of himself and far, far from here.

None of it worked—how could it have?—because the iron was pressed against his arm anyway.

To say it hurt was an understatement. It was only a good four seconds the iron had made contact with Ollie's skin, but it felt like a lifetime. He yelped at the first contact— the first contact was the worst part, making a pop sound as he yelled and brought tears to his eyes— and when he gripped Yara's hand with a death grip, flinching around a bit at it, the pain went away. Frying the nerve endings in that part of his arm, he knew and heard. Like the sound of something sizzling on a pan. That's what happens when you get burned like that.

The smell was the worst part. Ollie would never forget the smell of his burning flesh. It was one of those things that would be forever seared into his mind, irreparable.

It was so bad it was almost a taste. He could never find anything to compare it with. Like a smell of blood, or rotting meat, or burnt hair, or burning plastic— all mixed together, all trying to form some horrid fucking scent he'd never forget again in his life. Ollie was sure that the fear and heightened fight-or-flight was what made it hurt so much more than it actually did, because after those few seconds, it was over. Ollie was left with erratic breathing and tears streaming down his cheeks, making this whimpering sort of cry as he did. His lip quivered, and Yara was there soothing him, holding his hand and whispering to him.

Ollie didn't look down at it. He shut his eyes tight, he didn't want to process or accept at all what had just been done to him. He could feel Mallory apply something to the new wound as it secreted a gross plasma, putting on some kind of salve or something, and wrap it in cling wrap. And that was it.

It didn't feel like enough. Everything that had been done for the experience Ollie had just gone through felt so... little. Everything was still living, and breathing, and moving, and Ollie hadn't even processed any of it yet.

Why did everything get to keep going right now?

"You did so good," Mallory praised as he watched Ollie cry— out of pain, but also mostly frustration. He hated how he let this happen to himself. This was horrible, this was inhumane. He just wanted to go see Jasper right now, or Henry. He'd say Sovi, but he knew it wasn't an option. He wanted to melt into their arms, spill everything and make them accept the fact he couldn't do this anymore. That he just needed to go home.

How disappointed would the people he loved be if they saw Ollie like this?

Saw Ollie letting it happen?

"Yara, untie him," Mallory muttered as he kneeled in front of Ollie the same way he had earlier. Stop it, he wanted to seeth. Yell, scream. Stop doing that, stop trying to help me. Look at me, look at me truly, what have you done to me? What have you done?

"I am so proud of you, Orion," Mallory soothed, cupping Ollie's face in his hands and wiping a tear away with his thumb. Ollie wanted to spit in his face.

"You don't see it now, but you are a true child of Osiris."

Like fuck I am.

"You don't see it, but so many would kill to be in the position you are in right now. To be so connected and interlinked with those above. You have been reborn into a new person, a Next Life awaits you. And I promise you, it's worth it. You're a true believer— it will all be worth it for you.

Ollie nodded, sniffling a bit and trying to overcome to overwhelming urge to bitchslap this man now that his hands were free. He did take the opportunity to move Mallory's hands down from his face—fuck, it hurt to move that arm—and hold them, squeezing them tight and feigning affection.

"Thank you," he whispered through the tears, and Mallory smiled. A look Ollie wished he could get rid of so bad— a look that told Ollie he had no remorse. That this wasn't even remotely bad to him. This was just a step to Ollie's better connection with his newfound God and if it were by Ollie, he'd send himself to eternal damnation by now.

Even when everything was so spinning and confusing, he knew one thing for certain; this was fucking revolting.

It was all he could think about as Yara untied him and got him out of the lounge room. It felt like leaving as a different person. Even if everything Mallory had said was wrong, he was right about one thing; he had been reborn in that room tonight. A new person, but not in the way he would have ever wanted.

The walk with Yara was horrid. She'd lent him her jacket—a sage green zip-up with a rhinestone cross outlined on the chest—and under any other circumstances, Ollie might have appreciated it. Now, it just made him feel alone.

As they walked, Yara didn't really dare to say anything. She'd just seen her new friend in one of his most vulnerable moments since she's known him— fuck, one of the most vulnerable moments of his entire life. How was she even supposed to soothe him? Even if it was for the greater good, even if it was for the better, what was she meant to say to him? What was supposed to be said to aid him through it all?

"You turned the wrong corner," Ollie mumbled after a long bout of silence, making Yara turn to look at him. He hoped he didn't have to repeat it.

"Huh?"

"The corner," he repeated, not looking up at her. The taste of his flesh still sat foul in his mouth. Even if he certainly hadn't eaten any of that bullshit, it had been so strong that the oxygen intake only reminded him worse of how the smell lingered on his tongue. Reminiscent of what bit he'd let himself lose for this mission.

He stopped for a second, as if waiting for Yara to turn back with him. Yara stopped with him.

"You're supposed to turn right."

...?

What?

Oh!

Yara smiled a bit as she came to the realization of what Ollie was trying to say, giving a huff of laughter. Ollie gave a confused expression.

"We're not going to your place," she said, still with that look on her face. "We're going to mine."

"But- my place-- I mean, Henry-"

"I can explain to him where you've been."

*Huh?*

Ollie's brows furrowed a bit more now, genuinely conflicted. Almost angry. He wanted to be home— he needed to be home right now. That was the only safe place right now. His things, his family, his kid—

"You're just gonna... explain?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to explain to them how you let Mallory brand me while you watched," he deadpanned. "You think they're gonna be fucking fine with that?"

"Calm down.-"

"You don't get to tell me to calm down right now- you just let them fucking brand me!" Ollie exclaimed, tears stinging his eyes as he gestured somewhere further behind them, referencing the mall.

"And you stood there and watched, and it happened because I trusted you! I came with you because you said I'd be safe! You said I'd be safe with you, and now I'm really starting to doubt th—"

"Orion!"

Ollie paused at being cut off like that, fists curling. Yara stared at Ollie for a second, looking completely mad yet also... concerned for him. Like Ollie was saying something so wrong it was crazy, and that's exactly what she thought. It made him feel stupid, almost.

"Do you think they're going to be the ones to keep you safe after this?" She snapped, gesturing to the right— to Ollie's home.

"Do you think they're going to accept you now? Accept us?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because the outsiders don't understand like we do! They don't fucking get it! They don't get you, and they don't get me, or Mallory, or anyone. Because people think we're crazy and honestly, I don't want to go back to that. I don't think I can go back to that!"

"You don't know them like I do," Ollie spat. "You don't know my family like I do."

"I used to think that too. I used to think that all I ever wanted was to keep my family safe in this godforsaken city. And I found Mallory, and I knew this was it. This was my key to helping them with anything they might need, because I knew them, right? I knew them better than anyone else! And then they fucking kicked me out for this. Called me crazy. Said there wasn't such thing as a Final Abolishment, that I was just gonna drag them under."

Yara took a breath. If Ollie had known better, he'd tell her that her parents were right.

"You don't- people don't like us out there, okay? People aren't like us. If they see that on your arm, if they see who you really are, they're going to ostracize you. And living on the streets in this city is bad, Orion. I'm saving you. I'm keeping you safe. That's why I asked you to pack your shit— trust me, they don't want you back."

Ollie paused. He contemplated the whole monologue— it's what Henry would do. It's what Henry would have wanted of him. To keep the mission alive, he could practically hear in the back of his head. Whatever it takes to keep this mission alive.

He nodded.

"What about Charlie?" he asked, and Yara gave a confused look.

"Who?"

"Charlie. My kid."

A silence.

"You have a-"

"I adopted her?"

More silence.

"Yara, my- she went to the Community Center? It's why I started going? Because she did??"

"Ooohh! Oh, I'll take care of it, don't worry."

Ollie's brows furrowed a bit, and he took a step forward.

"You're not going to just 'take care of it,'" he began, making Yara sort of look at him.

"You're going to bring her to me. If I'm really going to stay with you and not look back, if I'm really going to trust you in my Next Life, you're going to bring me my fucking kid."

"Okay. Okay, I'll bring you Charlie. But you have to come with me. Deal?"

He contemplated it. Something in the back of his head told him this wasn't the right choice. This was the worst possible option, this was walking into a series of traps upon traps— he had to call Sovi. Right now, the move was to call Sovilo and go home. There was a way out of this, and the way out was right now.

Still, Ollie shook Yara's hand.

"Deal."

It might have been the worst decision he's made in his entire life.

[halfmoth-halfman]

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN, EXCEPT THE BUILDING IS 141!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOO BABY!!!

At first when I saw Canary had no gun wound, I was like - Did she not get shot??? Did someone else take the bullet for her??? (my memory do be bad, my bad - but the angst potential of someone else getting hurt in Canary's place...yummy) And then I was like, is she dead?? How's she gonna get her revenge on Graves and Makarov and Makarov's bratty daughter???😧

I'm glad you kept me on my toes with that lol.

Finally had an interaction with Adler.....in heaven. That talk was necessary for Canary, I think. I think nothing can motivate a jilted kid as much as their desire to enrage and spite their estranged parents. (Too relatable for me, cuz I'd have done the same lol) Even tho a lot of shit Adler said was unfounded, it did fuel the fire Canary needs to keep going, especially if she wishes to enact revenge on those who wronged her. And you wrote this scene beautifully! (but I also wonder if this talk, esp with Adler being all "Trust no one" would make Canary paranoid af and refuse any help from 141. Or maybe she'd accept their help in taking down Price/Makarov, but would be hella distant and try to remove herself from the entire '141 is family' thing they've got going on?)

And Price is now in jail cuz Graves framed him for attempted murder????? Oh hell to the nah!

Like idek what Price and Canary are now, after everything that has happened. But if Graves goes around framing my Price for something he did, they'd be hell to pay. I'd raise a fucking riot, bitch!

As always, amazing chapter. And I can only wait for what would happen next. Does Canary recover? Does she get Price out of jail? Does she have a run in with Makarov, or Graves? What would Shephard say to her if she just barged into the police station and demand him to release Price as he did not murder her, since she's standing in front of him....alive? So many questions and theories to ponder over, hm....Can hardly wait for where the story goes! Have a great weekend, Moth. You deserve it after serving us with such delicious fic updates <3333

- 🍄 anon

alskdjasdlas i'm sorry all i could think about from that first sentence is canary coming back from the dead and just being like:

eggman voice: "i've come to make an announcement. phillip graves is a bitch ass motherfucker!"

ok so before i decided canary was going to get shot, i toyed with the idea of someone take a bullet for her instead. there was a very brief moment, where this chapter was going to end in either price or ghost's death, but i love them both too much and they need to have their redemption so i couldn't do that to them LOL

i agree, i think it was necessary for canary. she needed that push from adler, someone to light that fire in her in a way that only he really knew how to do. he knows how to push her buttons, how to get under her skin in just the right way to get her to act, but this time she's taking things into her own hands. and like, of course, she wants to get revenge of graves for her own reasons but choosing to go back and break down her father's golden child just to spite him? if there's one thing the adler family is good at, it's being petty.

adler definitely left a lasting mark of paranoia on her, and i think she'd be hesitant to trust the 141 even if he didn't just because of the events of the past five months. however, she does know she's going to need their help at least while she recovers, so i don't think she'd immediately burn that bridge. though who's to say what she might do once she's back on her feet. i guess it would depend on if the 141 tries to make it up to her, and if she wants to be in a more forgiving mood 👀

price sure is in jail, i wonder what's going to happen there. the rest of the 141 seemed stressed and surprised to see canary awake, imagine price sitting in a cell for however many weeks thinking she's dead and it's all his fault. :)

i don't think even price and canary know what they are. they certainly know they aren't together, but i imagine price still has major feelings for her (now paired with a lovely glass of guilt) so it would probably be up to canary whether to try and rebuild that relationship or not.

it'll be interesting to see what graves tries to do, esp now that canary is def not dead and actively trying to take him down. even more, it'll be interesting to see what shepherd does in light of this new information.

so many questions and theories!!! i'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with in the time between chapters omg

thank you so much, and i hope you have an amazing day and week!! 💜