#im still sad she died tho
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Isabelle shippers: This is an outrage! She was just starting to shine! How could they kill her off?!
Bethyl shippers:
#the walking dead#bethyl#daryl dixon#walking dead#beth x daryl#daryl dixon tboc#twd daryl#isabelle#bethyl forever#im still sad she died tho#beth and daryl#daryl x isabelle#tboc spoilers#give my murder baby his happiness#at least you guys got a kiss#we got handholding an googly eyes
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I'm pretty much done with TOH lol.
A braver and more energetic soul can try giving this show a constructive critique... because I will actually, wholeheartedly lose my humanity while writing out the script.
There is like... a problem this show has that permeates the whole thing: It says its going to do one thing, but then does something completely different. Like how the first two episodes of the series make you believe Luz is going to learn how her inability to separate fantasy from reality is actually inhibiting her growth as a person... only to make her a chosen one and to give her everything she ever wanted without Luz changing the way she treats people.
#TOH critical#Reaching Out is my most hated ep along with the series finale bc of how guiltrippy Luz is in RO#Oh yeah Amity i know you have a very valid reason for hating me rn bc its my fault your abusive dad found out you skipped tryouts...#...but you cant be mad at me bc my dad died on your special day. Also I am jealous of you for having an Alive Dad#even tho i know your father is a horrible person and treats you like dogshit lol.#i can never forgive them for lobotomizing Amity's character#like Luz can lie to her face repeatedly and she'll be like... this is fine im sure it wont happen again...#still crazy to me how Amity gets the female love interest treatment you see with m/f ships... how could you do this to her#i want to see the Amity who actually had a spine and was willing to kill to achieve her goals#but no she gets reduced to ''bad but sad girl''... and i start fighting and killing
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indont understand the appeal of 4chan or thr dark web honestly or even liveleak when it was still up and running ooo speaking of liveleak
#when i was younger#idk how old tho. i just know i was staying in an apartment complex#uhh#okay#so like i have this friends house id go to bc my auntie and her mom were like this i think..?#anyways so yeah i constantly went to her house and one of these days while i was over there her mom was watxhing these bideos of soldiers.#okay how do i explain this without being unnecessarily violent.#well i cant#so the soldiers would be on their knees and people would be behind them and they’d shoot the gun at their head blowing their face meat#or head like clean off#and i watched those with her bc she showed us it#and bro#i was scared and still am about seeing REAL life guns like rifels and stuff bc#it grossed me out how people could do that to others and then i felt sad bc they died#but ueah i had so many nightmares about that and its been lingering im the back of my mind for yearrss#i hope i dont get a headache like earlier for remembering this NONSENSE#brooo thag headache actually had me in SHAMBLES
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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now every doge meme is gonna make me cry l o l
#author makes a speech#i mean im happy she was loved by all and she passed peacefully and had a damn good owner and she lived a long life#but damn...i just get so sad when someone's pet dies#pets are like family members and when you lose one you lost part of your family#it reminds me when my cousin's chihuahua died. i loved him so much and i still miss him to this day even tho its been a decade
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also i loved stella as a kid bc she reminded me of smurfette and im smurfettes number one fan
#i have a umm handmedown stuffed smurfette doll and shes sooo cute her dress is a bunch of the original comics... shes very awesome and i#love her so bad . she was my moms grannys#i never met my moms granny shes one of my plothole relatives#by which i mean. ok. so. on my dads side easy peasy i have my great gran Died in 2015 sad. i had another great grandmother who died ehen i#was like A itsy baby. normal amt of great grandmothers to have.#on my moms side i had my gigi died in 2015 Sad. and i have my grandma Still living yay !#but neither of those r my moms favorite granny who died b4 i was born . so whats going on why 3 of them....#bc im pretty sure gigi was grans mom. bc well my grans brothers were always there for gigi christmas's. and im oretty sure grandma is#grandpas mom bc grans family isnt there at grandmas usually. and also bc they look kinda similar..#but then. who is my moms granny... unless maybe my moms granny is a my grandma situation where you use the like grandma even tho shes a#great grandma. i never considered this.... this would make a lot of sense.
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GUYS SORRY IF U SAW MY MELTDOWN EARLIER I was wrong the crown princess scandal didn't have an incest subplot THANK GOD... it was a false alarm... IM TAKING BACK TAKING BACK MY REC AKA IM RECCING IT AGAIN LMFAO🤧🫡 🥳
UPDATE: just finished the backstory arc and :((( THAT WAS SO SAD.... also this is a good comic... 🤧
#im still reading the backstory arc and its rly sad actually#i mean i knew it was gonna be bc someone died but#it being her twin brother and not her ex like i thought hurts a lot more actually kdjfjd#but this means the prince would be hwa-yeong's first love...🫣 kyaa...#@ 1 of my followers ur prediction was right dnfbdnf#ANYWAY WE ARE SO BACK LETS GO MY HETTIESSS#MY HEART HURTS RN BC I JUST READ SOME SAD STUFF BUT#GONNA GO BACK TO KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING SOON🫡#also i love hwa-yeong sm. shes da best...#posting this in another post bc i deleted the other posts now and idk if the ppl who saw those posts have seen this update yet🫡#UPDATE: just finished the backstory arc and :((( THAT WAS SO SAD.... also this is a good comic... 🤧#i havent seen prince shinyeong in like 7 eps tho i miss him... cringefail rapunzel#I WAS GONNA STOP BUT I SEE A BLUSH IN THE NEXT THUMBNAIL LETS GO
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Uhhh for blorbo bingo athos?
misogyny wins! i love this guy!
#i love it when bad things happen to him and he just sighs and then dies#also love how he was the coolest baddest hottest most sarcastic bitch in paris when he was at his worst and lowkey suicidal#and the moment he finds some inner peace he immediately turns into the lamest boring useless tired stinky old man#(everyone is still obsessed with him tho) but he's still hot so at least there's that.#love this guy#the three musketeers#why are you gay#still obsessed with the fact that the only time he has sex with a woman (sans milady ig? who knows tho. maybe they never fucked)#its because she is dressed as a man (and im 100% sure he didnt realise until his sad old dick was already past the point of no return)#thanks pizzaaaa uwu#ask game
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one thing i love to do is read meme/confession pages of schools i do not attend. i’ll be months deep in an instagram account for some school in a whole other country
#im nosy! i love gossip!#i follow one for uoft but i feel like that’s different cause even tho i dont go there i still know the campus/culture/etc#cause its still like. in my city. im on that campus all the time always passing by whatever buildings#my school doesnt have one and im so sad about that#well we used to! n then it just kinda died#we had a slew of confession pages last year but they kept getting deleted#but honestly they were all just harassing this one girl who was also my coworker lol and she was real nice so i stopped following them#i think they died off eventually#anyways yeah i miss school meme accounts cause i dont have any friends or emotional connection or anything to this school#so it makes me feel like im still a part of it#anyways yeah baby having a wonderful time rn on this random one i found#edit well also i need to apply to post secondaries n meme pages r a good way to get the vibes#edit 2 nooo my current ideal school’s confession page is privateeeee sad!!
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me reading one salt sea: oh my god connor go away
connor: *fucking dies*
me: oh no im--that’s not what i meant
#ok hot take: connor didnt deserve to die and he also didnt deserve the weight of ''important character dying''#he isn't important To Me like genuinely i tried so hard to care about connor but i never did. possibly because he has no personality#beyond ''was in love with toby and still is''#and then he dies and toby's sad and im ike ok well.....moving on now#i feel very uncharitable about this but i cant help it sorryyyyyyyy#lol the ludaig really told toby ''he isn't worth your tears'' and im like SHE IS SO RIGHT THO HE REALLY ISN'T#ALSO DID CONNOR REALLY HAVE TO DIE TO MAKE WAY FOR TYBALT TIME AS IF HE WASN#'T THE MOST OBVIOUS CHOICE OF LOVE INTEREST THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN TIME HELLO?#I HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS#it sucks actually like thanks i hate it#in the meantime toby and tybalt have kissed twice (i think? maybe 3 idk) both of which were initiated without toby consenting or whatever#which i think is because author ma'am wants tybalt to be a bad boy but he actually isn't?? and he's such a gentleman in every other regard#what the hell is up with that mcguire? it sucks! it sucks#like its fine its played off as hot or whatever and she's into it because she's in love with him and has been since book 2 but it sucks#and this is the hill im willing to die on
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you love them...... 0(-(
#today you're happy .#oh boy i gotta run thru the whole house this way. time to 100% this shit i guess#unless i can loop forward . hopefully#woageoahwoahwoah woah. hey. siffrin my buddy???????? are u good. holy shit dude#WOAH. okay. thats. hm. YOUR ATTACK LOWERED?#theyre literally nerfing themself so they dont scare the shit out of everyone. well#SADNESS WILL FLEE FROM YOU. OK#things are gettin weird today#ooo his title changed.. when did that happen..#HEY !! ANOTHER SIFFRIN AGAIN. is spacetime getting fucked over by all these loops. not that ive had too many.... this is loop 20-something#oh. oopsie. looked at too many things and Odile is onto me. uh oh#surely that wont come back to get me later right. right#that is actually a bit scary tho. tbh#oh shit bonnie WAS listening to that conversation huh#man it would suck if i lost this loop. but i dont think i could stomach doing that on purpose lmao#it would also be hilarious if i died to pineapple right now. which im assuming is a thing bc of Loops warning earlier#omg i love bonnies interactions when theyre not being mean to sif theyre so silly#why is everyone treating him like a puppy today.. except for odile . who is still suspicious.#even if she figures it out somehow i dont know how she'll like. bring it to light? or do anything abt it??#will she react badly to it at all ???? i mean its Weird but half of the evidence shows that sif did it to help more than anything#tho she could draw different conclusions..#isat#isat spoilers#'you feel happy???' 'even though youre not friends.' hey dont do that.
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hmm. well i dont like how little blue fabric i have left !
#also my dark blue is Gone ??? she died#oh well so sad#im. not having the time of my life figuring out the colour palette 4 this. i really wish i had my dark blue 4 accents#but oh well ! i can fit everything on the light blue if i try nd i can pick a different accent colour. we ball#i am gonna need to cut all the blue parts out today tho or else ill get scared and die in my sleep . and rn im still like#barely halfway thru adjusting the patterns . i still havent fixed the legs yet and thats gonna take the most time i fear#liveblogging my plushie making project hiii guys look at me. and hiiiiiiiii ( slutty amount of ''i''s ) love this is the one im making 4 u#voidcore.txt
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lets talk: agatha all along finale
ahead: spoilers obvi, and my VERY annoyed thoughts read at your own risk. and remember something VERY important: these are MY thoughts, MY opinions on MY page.
before i get into the bad, which there was a lot of imo, lets talk about what i loved
☆ i loved that jen got away and got her powers back. i really love her character and i hope we see her again. still crazy how agatha is the one who bound her like omg ???? good for her love that diva
☆ i love the agatha and nicky scenes. and then creating the ballad together, soooo sweet. she was such a good mom im so sad
☆ i love the alice part as heartbreaking as it was
☆ the part where billy created the makeshift grave for alice, lilia, and sharon
☆ "MY LOVE" "YOU LOVE ME" "WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME" im sickkkk they're absolutely insane and i love them so so much
☆ rio planting the flowers over agatha's grave, im sickkkk
☆ AGATHARIO KISS !!! was so so beautiful and passionate i love them.
☆ ghost agatha is sexy, don't know how i feel about her hair tho. some angles i like it, some angles i dont
now what did i hate, just about everything else.
☆ i hate how the first time we get a lesbian kiss in marvel, one of them dies. the bury your gays trope is so fucking tired. wrap it up. i don't care about male gay rep because they already had it in the mcu with eternals, it's not fair that when lesbians finally get rep, we don't get to keep it.
☆ not only do i just not fucking like billy, i hate how so much of this show centered around him, like if this was supposed to get me excited and into billy, it failed drastically. FUCK BILLY ??? WHO CARES ??? the show is called agatha all along and i feel like it was billy all along in too many parts. we didnt even get to see too much of her because of HIM. ALSO her sacrificing herself just to end up basically being his ghost side kick is also stupid. because while i get agatha not being able to face her son again, then why kill her ? why not let her live, what because he's a maximoff that we're supposed to see in later projects ??? like who gives a shit.
✧ they put entirely too much of this show on wiccan / joe's popularity and it didnt work nor make sense.
☆ also, on the topic of billy, i don't get why agatha just didnt drain his power and kill him. i know she made the deal with rio and stuff but he could've reincarnated into another body and they could continue wiccan's journey like that but in a different body. it honestly just seems like marvel sacrificed agatha to keep joe locke and its like who fucking cares.
☆ i hate how im left with more questions than answers.
✧ how and why did rio and agatha get married? agatha has been killing witches for so long, and im assuming rio appeared everytime, when did they get together?
✧ rio referes to nicholas as nicky, why? from what we saw in those 6 years agatha and nicky were together, she wasn't there.
✧ why did they make it seem like we would see them raising nicky together?
✧ they described agathario's history as "long and complicated", yet we never saw that or the aftermath of their relationship after rio took nicky? did rio and nicky meet before? because he seemed to know her or at least not be scared enough to feel "stranger danger" like what happened.
✧ in episode 4, we get agathario almost kiss and hat seemed like a healing moment for them and in the end we get agatha never wanting to see rio again ? why ? what happened that we didn't see for this seemingly drastic change.
✧ in ep 5, rio very clearly hates agatha's mother and refuses to let agatha go with her, and obviously we as an audience can infer the reason why, agatha told her what happened but still.
✧ how did the agatha trading nicky for the darkhold rumor even start ? agatha gave birth alone in the woods and gave him a completely different name, who knew about her son ? how did they find out ? im sooo confused by all of this
i love this show, or at least the concept, but i don't love the execution. it was supposed to be about us learning and getting to know agatha and i honestly feel like i don't know her at all. i loved eps 1-4 and ep 7, everything else, eh.
thanks for coming to my ted talk !
#༺ z speaks#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along#agatha harkness rio vidal#agathario#aaa spoilers#agatha spoilers#agatha harkness#jennifer kale#rio vidal#alice wu gulliver#lilia calderu#billy maximoff#jac schaeffer we got beef#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#sasheer zamata#ali ahn#patti lupone#nicholas scratch#agatha x rio#joe locke#lesbians#wiccan#marvel cinematic universe#mcu
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Painland Week Day 2: Myths/Legends
@ deathsankh: lmao does Edwin Payne rly think i cant see him 😂
@ deathsankh: poor kid’s been in hell for 73 years and he comes right back to school? NERD
@ deathsankh: omg he made a friend, i love this for him
@ deathsankh: his lil friend is cute but imma let them cook 🙏
@ deathsankh: bumped into the boys again today, they brought me an offering
@ deathsankh: little girl didnt know she was dead, poor thing
@ deathsankh: i can’t share deets (thanks hipaa) but she died in her apartment and she’s been stuck there for decades
@ deathsankh: they played a game with her and suddenly her soul is calling to me??? okay boys, go offff
@ deathsankh: they thought i couldnt see them BEHIND A DESK lmaooooo
@ deathsankh: these new kids crack me up
@ deathsankh: the dead boys are still in that apartment, they can’t hide for shit
@ deathsankh: 🏅 congrats to the worst to ever do it 🏅
@ deathsankh: they sent me two more souls in the past month and they’re still scared of me
@deathsankh: we’re colleagues now darlings, have fun out there 💅
@ deathsankh: stop, the little dead boys
@ deathsankh: im obsessed
@ deathsankh: they started a “detective agency” and ive gotten like 16 tributes from them so far
@ deathsankh: and get this
@ deathsankh: they’re calling it
@ deathsankh: THE DEAD BOYS DETECTIVE AGENCY 😂😂
@ deathsankh: like that’s not gunna attract attention from the afterlife
@ deathsankh: i put my contacts on notice, hands off unless they go thru me
@ deathsankh: the night nurse could be a problem but who’s gunna say no to me 💅
@ deathsankh: these boys are lucky i like they, they literally freed a ghost IN THEIR OFFICE tonight
@ deathsankh: like im not gunna sense them hiding on the windowsill 🙄
@ deathsankh: i should have said BOO right before i took Wilfred 😂 but u know im too profesh
@ deathsankh: i guess the dead boy detectives got spooked bc now they’re in port townsend???
@ deathsankh: BITCH IM EVERYWHERE 😂😂
@ deathsankh: i gotta call my girl Lilith, she was out there last time we spoke and it’s been too long
@ deathsankh: their little friend kinda reminds me of her
@ deathsankh: these boys stay getting themselves into situations ong
@ deathsankh: i cant talk specifics but that dad was a piece of work
@ deathsankh: im only sorry i couldnt get to him myself.
@ deathsankh: Lilith is Not Doing Well, please reach out if you have her info 🙏
@ deathsankh: shit is POPPING OFF in port townsend
@ deathsankh: why cant these kids take a proper holiday
@ deathsankh: night nurse is ON MY ASS like i don’t already know about this
@ deathsankh: she takes this shit too seriously lmao
@ deathsankh: YO
@ deathsankh: HELL????
@ deathsankh: HITTING UP MY CONTACTS ASAP @DESPAIR KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR A SAD NERDY KID IN UNDERWEAR YOU’LL KNOW THE ONE
@ deathsankh: oh shit what up @simonpages
@ deathsankh: Thank you to everyone who reached out to Lilith, including the dead boy’s little friend! She’s doing much better now and hell has a new resident :)
@ deathsankh: NOT LILITH lmao my bad 😂
@ deathsankh: the boys are out of hell but everyone is still sad??? they said their neighbor died but i didnt hear anything? mods????????????????????????????????????
@ deathsankh: this one is out of my jurisdiction gl out there boys 🫡
@ deathsankh: whole squad is back in London
@ deathsankh: the medium’s parents are annoying i need to give them a buzz…
@ deathsankh: NOT LIKE THAT u know i can’t take ppl before their time, but like…
@ deathsankh: they need a lil reminder that im coming :)
@ deathsankh: i gotta take the night nurse out for drinks bc she is STRUGGLING @ThePrincipal u crazy for this one queen 😂😂 girls night soon?
@ deathsankh: fr tho does nn think i look at all that paperwork bc LMAO
@ deathsankh: the tweedy one loves it tho have fun king
@ deathsankh: like im not gunna approve the asylum paperwork sksksksks
@ deathsankh: omg they got the news and the whole squad is crying in the club
@ deathsankh: even the night nurse lmao im never letting her live this down
@ deathsankh: maybe i shouldnt have delivered the news personally, i think i almost killed the boys again 😬 my bad yall
@ deathsankh: was anyone surprised the curly one kissed the tweedy one when i told them 😂
@ deathsankh: took them long enough tbh 😻
#season 1 from death's perspective#she's funny#painland week#dead boy detectives#payneland at the very end#this is my first fic ever#after 20 years of reading im finally starting to produce#or trying#this was inspired by a post i will link when i find it#that basically said what if death knows they're there the whole time#and is constantly updating the groupchat about their antics#but i dont know enough about the endless for all that#this piece is like if twitter was still cool#op#my writing
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in conclusion. Sweetheart is Prices princess, Soaps handler/gossip buddy, Gaz therapist, and Ghost cuddle buddy (people doesnt need to know wbout that tho)
You gyat damn right. 100%
Totally didn't forget that this was in my asks no no nope I'm so sorry
Even tho she's everyone's princess, Price is the KIINNGGGG of princess treatment (🤭) Always complimenting her, praising her, touching her, buying her gifts, touchinggggg hheerrrrr, always helping her out of cars, down the stairs and helicopters. Sweetheart is his princess. He wants to make her his Queen tho
Soap and Sweetheart are definitely best friends first, and romantic feelings last (only Soap feels this tho LMAO) Like omg they do so many things together, but his favorite is tea and gossip time. Like they'd just be having a tea party in Soaps room, drinking hot tea and Sweetheart would tell Soap the deets everytime 💀
Sweetheart: Bitch, did you know that the janitor DIED
Soap: BITCH NO WAY HOW
Sweetheart: He slipped and his mop WENT UP HIS ASS AND SPEARED HIM THROUGH HIS STOMACH
Soap, spitting out his tea: OMMGGGGG YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN LYIN
Sweetheart: BITCH IM NOOOTTTT
And Gaz-- omg Gaz... He's so baby to me when it comes to Sweetheart 🥹 especially asking for help. He would peek in her dorm and knock on her wall. "Gaz? Hey, what's wrong?" She asks. His eyes would be soft and his brows would crease a bit, like a sad nervous puppy. "Uhm," he would start. And Sweetheart knew immediately what he needed. "Can I chat with you? Just for a bit" He would say with a soft voice. JUST-- PLEASE and she would smile and say "Of course, honey." And she would hold him while he talks out what he was feeling and just-- FFFFUCK IT MAKES ME MELT
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAKES ME MELT?? GHOST AND SWEETHEART-- BEING CUDDLE BUDDIES like she would sneak to his dorm and do their special knock that they have for cuddle sessions (EHEHEHE) and he would open it and yank her in. She would always snort cause he's so needy for her cuddles. Like he would just hug her close and nuzzle into her neck, smelling her and that just puts him at ease. He waddles, Sweets still I'm his arms, and they fall on his bed. They get comfortable in each other and Simon knocks tf OUT. OUT LIKE A LIGHT (and no one knows cause Sweetheart wakes up early and goes back to her own room HA)
#I LOVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCH#WAHH#x reader#mw2 headcanons#cod modern warfare#modern warfare headcanons#cod headcanons#black fem reader#black!fem!reader#x fem!reader#ghost mw2#mw2 soap#gaz mw2#price mw2#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 headcanons#taskforce 141#tf 141#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#john soap mactavish#john price#cod x y/n#cod oc#141 sweetheart#hunter's ask lounge ☕️
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💛💛
Under the cut to read on Tumblr, here to read on Ao3 ch1; ch2; ch3; ch4
Les fleurs du mal ch.5 rosquez, 2.1k words
It’s nine in the morning of a beautiful Sunday, he finally got all the truth Uccio for God knows what reason had chosen to change, corrupt, modify for him to see a distorted version of reality.
The telemetry, that shit was just made up, by a jealous? angry? Uccio, who chose to ruin the one good relationship in forever like that, like it had just been a flash, instead of the sun in his life.
He wanted to call Marc, hell no drive until Cervera and say he was sorry, that he had been an asshole, a terrible person, but to please forgive him because he had been shielded from the reality and couldn’t see.
That now tho he sees the love Marc always reserved for him, he sees how much Marc is willing to sacrifice for them, for the love they share.
There’s a voice note in his notifications, along with two missed calls, from Marc.
And a text from Lorenzo.
“Vale?”
“Mh?”
They’re laying in bed, at Vale’s house, softly surrounded by pearly colored sheets, the sound of the town filling the outside world.
“Do you ever think about like, the future?”
“In general or us?”
“Both”
“Well of course amore, I think of my racing career and more titles and of the time when I’ll inevitably have to retire.
And I think about us, free from the media attention, in a beautiful house near the see.
No neighbours, just us, and you are sunbathing naked next our pool and then I-“
Marc blushes, hiding his face more in the crook of Vale’s neck
“What amore? It wouldn’t be the first time I see you naked eh. I think I saw you pretty clearly last night”
“Vale! This was supposed to be romantic!”
“Is it not romantic? Making love to you in a house we share?”
“I - yeah it is”
“See? And you? You think about the future?”
“Yeah. I see us in a house in the middle of the countryside tho, with animals.
Dogs, a lot of dogs, and your strange red cat too”
“Rossano is not strange!”
“He looks at me funny whenever I’m here.
But anyway, a cute house in the countryside, just the two of us, it’s peaceful”
“But? I feel like there’s a but”
“But I also think about the sport and the danger and - Vale are you scared of death? I am terrified by it. It’s just - one day you just cease to be and I cannot think the universe is so cruel to do this”
“Amore, of course i’m scared of it, and it. In our sport it can happen. It took me years to get over the fact Marco was gone. But life ends in death no matter what we do, we have to live it at our fullest still”
“Im scared thought, I don’t like the idea of it. It’s cold you think? When you”
“I don’t know. It could be. Or it could be warm like drifting asleep with a blanket on and just - sleep”
For Marc it’s cold when he dies.
Freezing even, and so so lonely.
When Roser finds him, curled beside his bed, clutching in his arms the helmet signed by that man, it’s like being shot in the heart.
She tries to wake him, tries to call him, but he’s cold.
Unmoving.
Still like the moment she finds herself in.
Marc is holding onto that one piece of his heart like he’s still alive, the strong grip seemingly coming from a strong person.
But when she looks at him all she can see is her little boy, her son.
Pale and tired and sad.
He looks like he’s having a bad dream, the unsettling kind of dreams where you don’t precisely know where you are and can’t get out.
There’s petals on the ground.
Yellow.
So much yellow and she just wants to burn it all away.
She cries more, calling for Marc again, trying to get him back.
But Marc can’t hear her, the only sounds in the room are Roser’s sobs and the repetitive buzz of Marc’s phone.
When Marc wakes up in the middle
of the night he’s cold, shivering.
The fever is taking over, he’s hallucinating again.
He reaches out for Vale, why is he not in bed?
Oh right, he’s still not back yet.
But it doesn’t matter.
Because they have time.
The scratch in the back of his throat seems to be less excruciating too, like it’s being kept at bay.
Well this just means Vale is close right?
He’s coming, finally he’s coming home to tell him he still loves him, and - and the roots will go away the same way they arrived.
“Oh I need to set the room up, Vale has to see my collection has improved, yes, he needs to see it”
Marc unpacks the two boxes Roser had stuffed full, carefully taking out the items in them.
The cap and the picture first, he places them on the shelf next to his bed, close, so close the cap covers half the picture, the half where Marc is.
Then it’s the bikes turn.
Slowly, methodically, precisely, Marc takes them out the box one by one, placing them in the same exact order he had bought them.
He sees Alex in his room, he’s not happy.
“Marc come on stop you look ridiculous”
“Ah Alex stop it, you’ve just never been in love, when you’ll be you’ll get it”
He’s standing on his bed, mattress dipping under his rapidly decreasing weight.
“You see, Vale is coming and the room has to be nice for him, I want it to be more beautiful than ever, he deserves the best”
Marc is smiling, like a kid on his birthday, waiting to blow the candles.
“Oh he’ll want the 2004 Yamaha to be the most visible for sure, he loves that bike God how he loves it”
He keeps talking to a non existing Alex, while he feels colder and colder.
“I better put on a hoodie, don’t want to catch a cold before Vale arrives for sure”
He goes pick up the one hoodie Vale left there, in his home.
It still smells like him.
He sits on the bed, legs crossed with his phone beside him, facing the door.
He stays there for minutes, maybe an hour even.
There’s no sudden buzzing of the phone, no sound of a car parking outside, no knocking on the door signaling Vale is there.
Well not yet, maybe he just doesn’t like to travel with the dark.
Yeah it - it must be that.
Because it’s either that or.
Or Vale isn’t coming.
Not now, not in a million years he’s gonna spend tidying up his room to welcome Vale back in it.
When the fever lets go of him and he sees clearly again it hurts.
Physically, mentally, emotionally it all hurts like it’s been crushed by tons and tons of rocks thrown on top of him.
Hot big tears fall from his eyes, follow the now slim outline of his cheekbones, and collect under Marc’s chin.
“He is coming. He is coming. I know he’s coming”
He tries to convince himself of this, even with the hallucination gone, he gets up and sets up the room.
It has to look exactly like it did when Vale came here last time, little bikes in their precise fragile order.
The last thing he takes out the boxes is the helmet.
Signed, a little note left for him by Vale, unmistakable messy handwriting on the clean visor.
He takes his phone, it’s stupid, childish but he can’t do otherwise.
He calls him.
Twenty, twenty five seconds of his phone ringing. No answer.
He tries again. And once again there’s no answer on the other side.
He opens their chat, it’s still on hold since the last text Vale sent.
“Good luck for the race babychamp”
He presses the button to send the voice note, the first few seconds just of silence.
“Vale. It’s me. I - please Vale it hurts so much, I can’t breathe I need you to come here quick I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry for what I did, all of it, I’m sorry I didn’t want you to lose, I didn’t want to do anything against you. I never - I never went to him, I would never cheat on you, I only ever had you please believe me Vale. Vale I love you. I’m home and, and it hurts so much. Please I need to see you. Please. I need to feel your hugs again. I’m cold Vale so cold”
The voice note sends, but there’s no blue ticks to signal it’s been read.
Marc climbs off the bed, his phone beside him, holding the helmet between his arms like it’s the most prized possession of his, he fears it may scratch, or get ruined if he accidentally bumps into the shelf he usually laid it on.
All his words now barely a whisper, he’s trying to stay anchored to reality by clutching at that damn helmet, it’s almost sunrise, almost sunrise and there’s no sign of Vale.
He abandoned him.
Vale abandoned him.
He truly hates him, he truly wants Marc to not represent a menace at all.
That’s fine. Vale will be fine without him too, he was fine before meeting him, there’s no need for Marc to exist in Vale’s life.
Maybe he’s gonna be a weight less, he will just go away, like he came in.
A breeze.
Marc can feel himself getting colder, and the petals in his throat now make it impossible to breathe.
He vomits them rather than coughing, a sea of yellow hollowness making its way out of his body, the everlasting presence of Valentino beside him even right now.
“you promised it was going to be warm like falling asleep with a blanket, but it’s cold, it’s so cold”
He’s still waiting there, looking at the door like a dog waiting for his owner does.
Argo had waited for Ulysses for years before he came back, and had died right in his arms.
But Marc knows his Ulysses won’t arrive, not even to hold him as he leaves behind the ugly and hurt of the mortal world.
He’s an abandoned dog. Even if he was loyal. He’s been abandoned.
He cries on the helmet, the last tears he can still produce, before his life abandons him too, the last breath used to hope, to call Vale’s name.
When Roser finally looks at the ID of the caller on her son’s phone she is angry.
She wants to smash that phone against a wall, make it shut up once and for all.
“Vale💛💙” identifies the person calling, the rage she feels is unexplainable through words.
She doesn’t answer. He doesn’t deserve to know from her what happened to her sweet boy, he will forever live with the guilt of having killed him.
She only manages to call Alex and their father two hours later.
She tells them to come there, that Marc has gone to sleep the night but hasn’t woken up now.
When Alex barges in he’s red in the face, crying and cursing.
He runs to the room they used to share, and sees how Marc has set it up once again, memories of Vale on all the shelves.
He also sees the many yellow petals littering the ground of the bedroom, a dark feeling taking residence in his chest.
“Marc? Marc it’s me, it’s Alex, I know you can hear me, you’re just sleeping, but you have to wake up, mom is getting worried. You need to wake up Marc please, I don’t know what to do without you”
“Alex he’s not-“
“HE’S ALIVE HE’S JUST - he’s just making a joke mom he - he can’t be dead mom he can’t be”
“Alex come here”
“No. No he - it’s not right. It’s not right he shouldn’t be, it shouldn’t end like this, he promised me we would’ve been together on the podium one day, he promised”
Roser has to drag Alex away from Marc, he doesn’t want to let go, he wants to save him.
“Alex. Look at me. You have to think of what Marc wanted ok?”
“Marc wanted to live! He wanted to race and win and - he wanted so many things! He’s scared of death, terrified of being alone! AND HE WAS ALONE!”
“But he wanted you to live too, he wanted you to be there on track, to be here with us. Please don’t - don’t make me lose you too Alex”
“No no i’m not going anywhere mom I promise. I’m not going away, sorry sorry sorry mom I’m staying here”
“Can you? I can’t call anyone to tell”
“Yeah yeah i I’ll uh ill call people”
“Be kind with yourself, as kind as your brother was with you ok?”
“Ok”
They think about removing everything from the room.
Putting it back in boxes.
But Marc’s last wish was probably for the room to be like this, and they couldn’t go against his wish.
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