#im still gonna use the one i made on the blog url but not my blog icon

[oh-gh0st]

might swap out the jyushi icon... this one's not doing it for me anymore

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[definitelynotshouting]

OUGHHH sorry to be on anon, I need to make a proper tumblr to talk to people in hermitblr but currently I only have a sideblog and am not gonna expose my ten year old main aklsdjhfdklas, but I am the author of the romeo and juliet au tysm you made my heart grow warm and fuzzy and then explode I've never seen my fic mentioned out in te wild before <33333

to fuel ur theatre au brainworms, in the romeo and juliet au: mercutio is bdubs + benvolio is cleo, and jimmy and joel are sampson and gregory (two capulets from the start of the play they're such dumbasses my absolute beloveds), so we've got the design philosophy of the montagues and the capulets mirroring the aesthetics of the family and the bad boysss. (I never came up with a design for bad boy!Ren when he steps in as Tybalt instead of Grian during show week but I feel it's not too hard to imagine hehe)

but also (separately from that au, because I saw other talk of the life series and theatre and plays on ur blog) I constantly think about the life series as a greek tragedy, specifically in relation to the purpose of the series' inevitable tragedy being catharsis for the watchers (with the watchers also being literally the viewers). we love to see them suffer!!! but there's also a bunch of politics surrounding greek tragedies that Plato and Aristotle had discourse about that you can rope into it and tldr; my understanding is catharsis was Aristotle's answer to Plato's concern that tragedies' emotive affect could encourage rebellion against the state, with Aristotle saying that instead the cycle of pity and fear and eventual catharsis felt by the audience has a "purifying" effect that's like an emotional release from those emotions instead. Then with the extra layer of lore the fandom has surrounding Grian running away from the watchers, if Grian designs the life games, to the end of sating the watchers' need to emotionally feed (thank you Martyn for that piece of lore I'm stealing it jkfhdsk), the purpose of the games could be the cleansing of the watchers' discomfort with him running away and being a player and maintaining the status quo where Grian is actually the one in control !!!! even if he makes himself suffer. also different characters "curses" as their harmatia!! And, if we interpret the watchers as a fictional force AND the viewers simultaneously, then the chorus could absolutely be watchers who are vocal in the fandom - removed from the "players" (and OH how I love the dual meaning of minecraft players and players as in actors) but providing additional commentary and insight into what's happening that further feeds the emotional experience of the audience !!

alsooooo if you don't know the show "& Juliet" scar and grian are ALSO romeo and juliet in that to me, it's their last life/early double life era </3

theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre theatre

YOOOOOOOOO HELLO OP YOUR FIC IS AMAZING AND IM GLAD I COULD REC IT BC IT DESERVES RECOGNIZED!!!!! Also all of this is AMAZING im so obsessed with bdubs being mercutio and cleo being benvolio. Thats incredible like HELLO????? based choices tbh thats so fun

Also super obsessed with the meta of plays feeding into the watcher canon (and im STILL not over martyn somehow accidentally canonizing a key element of my au, this is insane, i came up with the idea for watchers feeding on player emotions in SEPTEMBER OF LAST YEAR), thats so fucking neat, i love a good tragedy OUGHHHHH its so compelling.

Also no worries about being on anon!!!! I did that too before i finally cleaned up my main blog so all the posts were privated, and then changed my url to match this one so ppl would recognize me WHEEEEEZE. Smth that helped me was tagging my own sideblog in anon asks i sent, so ppl would know it was me, and i'd get the notif when it got answered. Ofc you might not be comfortable linking your sideblog, but if you ever made one you wanted to sign off with, thats the option i used for a while before using mass post editor to private my entire main blog!!!!

theatre theatre theatre!!! Your ideas are SO pog and cool my dude feel free to ramble to me any time :]

[castielsprostate]

I have a question. You kind of appeared out of nowhere to me so I wonder if you had another url before or if your blog just exploded and you're very active on here

hey! yeah i used to be a different blog completely!! ive gone through 6/7 different blogs since 2012-ish and i made this one at the end of 2020? i think? i do remember having this specific blog on Nov 5th, fun sjonnie trivia fact

i never really went to the spnblr side, sometimes id just browse some tags, like some things, but the brainworms didn't get to properly root until earlier this year. i did watch it on and off (aka, when, and im gonna go out on a limb here, and say it was RTL7 ((MeEr vOoR MaNNeN)) was streaming it late at night so it was utterly sporadic and i saw the pilot. many. many. times.) when it was airing, but idk, i was hovering in different fandoms (mainly youtubeblr, 1dverse etc) and being rabid over there hehe <3 i recently left the latter fandom due to some.. things.. and i felt kinda lost :/ and then i saw something in my queue that was destiel related when cleaning it/organising it aaaaaand yeah, then i fell into the spnpit for realsies, rewatched the entire series + the anime (i might've. might've watched this one first i am sorry..?) + a bunch of amvs and then i started rabid posting about it :3 so yeah. i didn't really explode? i don't think so at least.. i just really like this fandom and it's been a while since i actually felt at home in a fandom :v so i went a bit (going still) insane with it tehehe

sorry for this length-y-ish response, but i hope i explained it well enough :3

[smallghostcorner]

so uhh conclusion reached

tw: mental health stuff(/pos) and talking about the future of this blog

We are in fact a system, we're still figuring stuff out and splitting and stuff is still unstable for us but we're learning to live with it and overall i feel better now that im embracing the others.

Our collective name is Sewer as our system name is sewer system (play on words) so you guys may refer to us as that! Nothing is really gonna change on our blog (name, content, url etc.)

I may make a post introducing some of our members and create tags for them if they decide they want to post on here. We're probably going to move away from fandom agere but we will still write fanfic. We're probably going to write more tham ST as it was my hyperfixation for a time and many of us like other things as well.

And if u r wondering who i am when i say "i" and "me" hello! My name is Zerro! I am the host/core(we think) of this system, i am the age of the body(that we do not feel comfortable revealing) and i regress sometimes.

I am the owner of this blog and the one who posted everything up till this point was me(i think) and from now on we will have tags indicating who made the post!

We hope u guys stick around and support us on this journey!

(side note for those who might be concerned no we r not an endo system but we will not be public posting our trauma)

[emma-radfemcanu]

Hi you’re my favourite blog on tumblr and I’m always too scared to message you but I really need a friend for a moment so I’m hoping I can borrow your ear lol

So yesterday was my 25th birthday, it’s also the 15th anniversary of me becoming a Swiftie (I got Fearless on my 10th birthday as a present, instantly fell in love), but instead of being at Taylor’s Eras Tour concert in Sydney (just a state over from where I live) I spent the night at home.

All this because the ticketing company for the Aus leg of the tour is dog shit. Im on a disability pension so I had literally spent years saving up for a chance to one day see her, I didn’t even go to see Harry Styles on tour bc I’ve never seen Taylor live (I’ve never seen Harry live either but Taylor is my priority). I spent 10 hours online trying to get tickets, I didn’t have anyone to help me so I only had one chance. I never once even made it into the online ticket lobby.

I’m actually so crushed. It’s been getting me down for ages but I was hoping that for the actual day of, I might be able to go out with a friend to take my mind off it and hopefully enjoy my birthday but all my friends managed to get tickets and so went to the concert without me. Also just to rub salt in the wound I didn’t get any birthday presents, which like I get it I’m an adult and my family is pretty poor but it still would’ve been nice to at least get a card. My Mum did cook me my favourite dinner which was nice and she and my Dad tried to cheer me up by insisting I watch the SpongeBob movie with them, I used to watch it as a kid whenever I was sick, and it used to work to cheer me up but yesterday it just reminded me of spending my childhood in a hospital and having no friends. So yeah I just feel really shit.

Sorry to dump all this on you but i can’t really talk to any of my irl friends about it bc for some bizarre reason they just say I’m being ungrateful (I don’t get why but that’s just how my friends are lol). I just had to get it out of my system you know? I hope it doesn’t bum you out too much. I spent some time scrolling on your blog and as always it’s cheered me up a great deal so thank you💖

Ok anyway if you read this thank you you’re the best, I’m gonna cry in the shower now lol (btw we have the same name which I think is really cool🥰)

Another rad Emma xxx

Hello! (I am v excited that I can finally answer asks again- I meant to contact tumblr support so many times but was afraid of getting termed, but I saw the beginning of this and it made me finally do it)

I'm sorry that you didn't have a nice birthday :( it sucks when you really look forward to something and then it doesn't work out. It is what it is but you shouldn't feel bad for feeling disappointed- even if your parents did make an effort I get why you would feel sad about it

And unfortunately you definitely weren't the only one who had this experience with Eras tickets- the sales were enough of a shitshow as it was lol, I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be trying to get accessibility tickets. And it was especially crappy timing for you with it being your birthday. I really hope that you'll get to see Taylor (and Harry) someday even if it wasn't to be this time

It was very sweet of you to say that you love my blog 💕 and I am always happy for people to send me stuff so please do if you want to talk!

(although just for clarification my name is not actually Emma haha, my url is a tennis pun)

[shutup-andletme-go]

thanks for the tag!!! This looks like it's gonna be fun to fill out

Name(s): Jack, Finch and my beloved favourite name Jachary (thank you @antisocialgaycat)

Pronouns: he/they

Star sign: Aquarius woo🥳

Siblings and fun facts?: one younger brother he is fun I just cannot think of any fact about him rn

Pets: two cats and four chickens, two of which are kinda bitchy, one of them pecks the other chickens and the other pecks me.

Fandoms: newsiess! &juliet, bend it like beckham and others but they won't appear almost ever and suddenly you'll get me reblogging 20 posts about it have funnnnn. Also I am the #1 fan for @drinkin-cherryschnapps and mine nutcracker and ballet aus I love them so much

Fav colour: idk man. black? wait I'm doing three fav colours based on how they complement each other. Black, teal and lavender.

Fav song: changes and honestly I haven't been listening to much music lately. But either Don't Start Now or Last Friday Night

Fav author: ehhhmmmm i can't remember author names so I'll pick the queen Alice oseman. hang on also @hypotheticalhore im not sure if they're still active but they used to have the most gorgeous marauders pirate au which made me go absolutely feral in the comments. bro if you somehow see this then please know that reading your fic was genuinely one of the brightest spots in my life and you have IMMENSE writing talent!!

Hobbies: piano sailing football mathematics being on tumblr

Favourite fic type: pirate aus! im a sucker time and time again they draw me in get me hooked and then im flopping about on a table like a caught fish (affectionate) also aus about sports that I do/have done in the past are up there

Favourite holiday: I was confused abt this one so I looked at tays answer and they're answering abt public holidays but I thought it meant like. what Americans would call a "vacation". idk fav public holiday is Matariki, fav "vacation" was going backpacking around europe for a few weeks with my family before covid

Do you have any partners?: noooo bc my mum scarred me when I was 11 by saying "I couldn't let u sleep in the same bed as ur best friend (also crush? I was def slightly in love with him) bc you might have had sex and then you could get pregnant." What the fuck mother im eleven and we were going to be sleeping in my little brothers bedroom. With him in the room. Sex was the LAST thing on my mind ffs I barely knew how it worked other than what they tell you in the "how a baby is made" type books

Fun facts about me: there are So many. how about airports and aeroplanes are my favourite things ever and I get incredibly excited at the mere mention of them. my cat is a sook. battleships, cluedo and connect four are my favourite games.

tags @drinkin-cherryschnapps @antisocialgaycat @pealeii @elemelom @ fuck I know I have more mutuals than this. okay open tag, if u see this do it!! I'm sorry everyone who's blog urls I can't remember ily

I got bored so here's a little get-to-know-you tag game I think could be fun :3

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

────────

Name(s): Loki (highly preferred), Elye

Pronouns : they/them mostly, he/she okay too

Star sign: Pisces

# of siblings: I've got 2! An older sister and a younger sibling. The fun fact about them is that they're also both queer; in fact, my mom is too. The only non-queer person in my immediate family is my dad.

# of pets: 4 cats! Phoebe & Frankie are our girls, Lenny and Murray are our boys :3

Fandoms: MCU (kind of), BSD, OFMD, Ranboo (does his fanbase count as a fandom?)

Fav. color: Don't have one

Fav. song: Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon

Fav. author: Alice Oseman

Hobbies: singing, acting, drawing, writing, procrastinating

Fav. fic type: Fluff, definitely. I am a sucker for well written coffee-shop and flower-shop aus, too. Smut's fine, but only if it's romantic. I can't do angst if there's no comfort.

Fav. Holiday: Hanukkah or Halloween! I love autumn and winter

Partners?: Yes! I have a girlfriend (queerplatonic) who I love very much, and a boyfriend (romantic) who I love very much :]

Fun facts:

- Even though I'm a cat person, I really, really want a dog.

- I actually used to play sports. Because I don't do gendered leagues anymore, I don't play, but I've been looking for mixed/gender-neutral/queer sports teams. Baseball and basketball specifically!

- I started questioning my identity in 2019; I'm no closer to finding a label now than I was then. The difference is, now I don't want a label. I just am. :]

tags: @neonganymede @cha0ticlesbian @x-chiara @exceleo @brinnybee @autistic-katara @gandalfthemorallygrey @ohboyanotherlokiblog @roachandrenfri @ourflagmeanslokius @exceleo @edettethegreat @swiftlyspidey

[lesbianbonbon]

Funny thing is I was reminiscing about this time in my life recently because I was sleep deprived and fixated on my later teen years. And as it turns out I've said this phrase plenty of times, but it sure has been a long time since I posted on this blog!!!! I'm kind of glad I didn't delete it (im generally bad about deleting blogs I abandon. You should see my list of side blogs lol)... scrolling through old takes and yeah some of them are probably lacking in nuance that comes with more experience and age (and has come with more experience and age now that I'm like. A full adult lol), but at the core of things I still hold p firm on things. It's a little crazy seeing all the old deactivated urls from people I used to regularly reblog from/chat with. Many of which I considered friends (for better or for worse...). Now I don't even remember most their names and we haven't spoken in years!!! Still follow sheepsbian though for those good vegan opinions they'll always have a place in my heart.

Retrospectively I as a teenager probably had no business posting on any kind of discourse blog (specifically because I had a weird anxiety about confrontation though tbf the ye olden days of this kind of discourse were Brutal and there were people on both sides could be totally merciless. I fully remember young gays being outed to their homophobic parents over aphobia accusations. So honestly it was just good sense to be careful in general). Though I do still believe a lot of the things teen me was posting about, as I said it comes with more nuance than I was putting into it as a traumatized teenager that subjected myself daily to some of the Internets Most Vile.

One thing that especially hit as I was scrolling posts from years ago was one I reblogged (and one I made myself) about no longer identifying as queer/a queer person due to x set of circumstances related to whatever discourse and it still rings true for me today. Like I still feel this way after all these years and idk exactly how to put it into words but it's like. Dang things really just don't change. The rise of lesbophobia within the lgbtq+ community that I witnessed then is still happening and is perpetuated by those who claim to be the queerest people on earth. People who claim queer identity but can't at all empathize or relate to lesbians beyond scavenging at our language and idk... anyway this is a little incomprehensible but I'm gonna try to start posting on here again! Could be fun to keep up as an actual side blog. Idk if anyone actually even still follows this blog (on a blog that is active at least) but! We'll see.

[shivroyslut]

hello, so i am shifting accounts, woo! well, partially shifting. (if you want to reblog this post, go ahead) long post follows below cut, so a TLDR: i am leaving because i am starting to feel uncomfortable in the cule (reason for discomfort explained below cut). i will still keep this account for reblogging destiel and creative content, but everything else will be in the new account. im not saying the account's name but it isnt too hard to find. please tag @castinkywinky in your creative posts (edits, amvs, art, webweaves, gifs, etc.) or DM them to me. i really do not want to miss them. feel free to DM me other people's posts you find cool as well!! --

the primary reason why i am leaving is because the environment in cule tumblr right now is starting to get hostile. idk if i should, but im just gonna talk about what i am seeing on here that has made me uncomfortable, cause i dont want to be silent:

biphobia, acephobia, people talking over neurodivergent people, people invalidating other people's triggers and being unwilling to cooperate by tagging their posts with warnings, vaguing and ganging up on mutuals (i have seen none of my mutuals partake in these, but i am not online all the time so i cant be sure what happens when i'm offline), and just people being rude and mean. definitely didn't help that a lot of the victims were poc and/or neurodivergent people.

i’ve been lucky to not have directly been involved in any of the conflict that arose, but it is really tough and upsetting to see mutuals’ names get dragged under just for having different and valid opinions on a tv show that ended in 2020. all of this while blogs who purposely started the hate and discourse are getting support, praises, and tractions, and i'm just gonna say it, its because they are very popular among the cule and have a lot of followers. i am unsure if they are unable to grasp the influence they hold or are purposely using it to bully others but idk. also the anonymity of discord channels makes things harder.

i'm not saying i'm a perfect person and i have definitely made mistakes on this account, which i am regretful of. but i am learning and growing and a lot of these people i see seem fixed in their ways. i also do understand that it is human nature that in a power struggle people will most likely stand with the bully, often without even realising that that's what they are doing. really the only option i have in this scenario is to walk away because the rest of us are powerless (i know whatever i say here wont have an impact either, considering i blocked some of the blogs too). i know i can just block and unfollow people, but that hasnt been enough for me. and frankly after spending majority of the day on my new account, my mental health feels much better. (hoping it doesnt get worse after i post this)

anyways, i still want to support everyone's creations so if you make a new amv, art, webweave, etc. feel free to add me to your tag list or DM them to me, cause honestly my prime reason for not deactivating this account is to see creative work in the cule and the fandom. cause you guys are so fucking talented. i still do have a decent following size here, so hopefully reblogging the posts here instead of my new account will bring more traction to the posts.

speaking of my new account, it will not have any destiel content. destiel content shall remain in here alongside fandom creations. but on the new account i will be posting individual character content and content of other ships, including any and all rarepairs (well, within reason). also succession, watcher, muppets, and my other special interests.

i'm not going to link my new account here, just going to say that i'm using the same email for it as the one i use for my jail account, and that the url is also linked in the description of my jail. i have followed some of my mutuals on there already. you are free to ask me for the account name, but just know if you're primarily a destiel account, i may not be following back. we can remain mutuals on this account

i will also still be doing the daily cas posts so follow me @dailycasposts. the post usually come around 10-11am EST (unless i forgot or a mutual asks to post earlier) and i will still be active on discord, so DM me if you want my discord ID. or really, just DM me here if you want to talk, since i have to log on every night to cas post anyways.

that's all i have. so take care everyone, it was fun being active on this account while it lasted. all of you made it so fun and i definitely would not have survived 2021 without this account and the mutuals and friends i have made along the way. i hope to keep in touch with most of you and last reminder to add me (this account) to your tag lists and/or DM me your creative posts !! <33 Mx Stinkywinky

[scarasun]

give your mutuals a color and genshin boy/ girl you think would go well with them, or or, if this is easier, say what genshin character reminds you of them the most!

buckle up, moots! you're in for a wild ride! i've used a hex code color picker to choose your colors (and to kind of make it a surprise), so you can go to this website here, and plug in your codes!

🌹🌹🌹 @ataraxyystories : color: (B4EECD) genshin character: in terms of general vibes, probably sucrose or collei! although you remind me more of collei in terms of personality now that i think about it, because you're fun to be around and very passionate about the things you like! :3

@radishsoups : color: (EFD0FF) genshin character: kokomi! i think one of your earliest themes on your blog was kokomi-inspired. in terms of who i think your personality reminds me of,,,probably yunjin! i feel like you're very graceful and polite, but you have a cheeky side.

@kaneaken : color: (A149CE) genshin character: sucrose for sure!!! i feel like you're kind of shy (in an endearing way) but still very lovable! you also remind me of ei!!! for some reason i feel like you love sweets(??) correct me if im wrong

@albenyx : color: (F8D78D) genshin character: ALBEDOOOO because he's your entire theme. i actually sat for a while trying to remember what your theme was before you changed it (it was kazuha right??). in terms of personality,,,hu tao?? you give me prankster vibes (in a good way) and i think you know how to vibe with just about anyone.

@chamomileteahouse : color: (FF8364) genshin character: so we haven't talked much but kazuha!!! mostly because your whole theme is about him. i also feel like you remind me of thoma??? it's a long drawn out explanation i've made up in my head but i feel like since your theme is based on a tea house, and thoma is a great chef,,,it kind of just clicks, you know? plus his color scheme is red so i think it works.

@scarahours : color: (2A5BBF) genshin character: so we haven't talked much either but i instantly knew who i was gonna pick for you: scaramouche. literally because of the url. but personality-wise, i think you might be a chill person, but you don't like being provoked?? so because of that i think you might fit yelan really well.

🌹🌹🌹

it's late here but hopefully i did everyone justice! love yall!

[boopeth]

I was tagged by @sebfreak . Thank youuu.

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's a long story that i've shared before, but basically video games and brainrot.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. lewdeth, its a nsfw blog so that this one doesn't ever lose the avatar like my old blog did in 2018 purge.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? 2012

4. do you have a queue tag? uhh yeah i think i used to have like a special tag, but right now i just do q

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? i honestly cannot remember at all. i was bored, facebook sucked, myspace was gone, reddit was boring, twitter was annoying, i think it was just the only place left.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? looked cool, planning on changing it again soon

7. why did you choose your header? looks cool, if part of my header is the like title it's an elden ring reference from the best guy in the dlc.

8. what’s your post with the most notes? had to check cause i didn't know but it seems to be an anime cap from tsukimichi that says cats are great.

9. how many mutuals do you have? idk lots im not gonna count . i generally check out all the people who follow me. if i like their blog i follow back,

10. how many followers do you have? 1835

11. how many people do you follow? 1091

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes, frequently.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? really depends on the day. lots of days i don't even get on, and other times im on every few minutes in between doing stuff.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? not really, at least not for the purpose of tumblr. there has been people that i've gotten close to that we argued about random stuff but had nothing to do with tumblr.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i really don't care for it. im nihilistic as fuck me reblogging that shit isn't gonna fix anything. it's not what im here for, and it's why i don't like twitter. i just wanna see cool pics, anime tiddies, and horror aesthetic stuff.

16. do you like tag games? i like the fact that people tag me in stuff cause it makes it seem like they're either interested in getting to know me more, or that they think im a cool mutual who they wish to tag.

17. do you like ask games? yeah, it's fun to have people interested in you by asking stuff about you, i feed on the validation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i don't think anyone. tumblr seems to be this weird place where even if you're a 10k+ followers blog, you're still the same kind of internet degen that a smaller blog is. like people are mostly here to see your reblogs which most blogs don't create.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? not particularly. but all my moots are hot af so all of them.

20. what is the last song you listened to? Baddadan(feat. IRAH, Flowdan, Trigga & Takura) by Chase & Status.

21. what are you currently watching? oshi no ko s2, nokotan brainrot, TOG s2, slime S3, and other anime from this season.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i like all. major sweet tooth but i have an obsession with hot cheetos so spicy?

23. what is your current relationship status? dead inside

24. what is your current obsession? uhh nothing in particular? still do gacha games, league swarm has been fun. always obsessed with music. energy drinks lately.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you’ve been listening to lately?

songs cause albums would be too hard, gonna hit shuffle on my liked song and put them on here, indecision. prepare for the roller coaster

Ew - Joji

Man on the run - Dash Berlin

Drowning - A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie.

The hand that feeds - Nine Inch Nails

Magnetic - ILLIT

HP - Maluma

Shame - 2Chainz, Lil Wayne

Dead Talk - Wind Walkers

it's my fault - Willow if you actually listen to these 9 songs my bad

i tag : @dreamweazel (got it right this time), @grimmscythe , @ghvsts, @creepingkyofu,

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

[1028s]

me and i do this again when im 20

nickname(s): hanna!!! jus hanna is fine lmao yeah im not a nickname girl fr T_T just hanna

gender: female yupppp im a girl

zodiac: virgo!!! yes still virgo

height: 5′1 5′3 yay

sexual orientation: who knos @ this point tbh i like girls . but i keep ending up with boy sorry guys this comphet shit really addictive

time rn: 7:39pm :o!!! 6:30pm

hogwarts house: hufflepuff!!! dont ask me this LMFAO

favourite colour: i say i like green a lot but ive been leaning towards blue these days yellow is so cute but . idk all is cool

favorite animal: dogs r nice yes i literally dont care sorry but i like ants

average hours of sleep: like seven maybe six

cat or dog person: “dogs r nice yes” cats r nice too tho but i like dogs god neither

last thing i googled: “attention thank you for your attention” bc i want 2 make a version of the poster abt yuto but i cant find the meme “modern irish names”

favourite fictional character(s): u kno levi from fangirl… hes bf (best friend/boyfriend) material… ummm . . .  chen xiaoxi from a love so beautiful i kin her . and hamlet omg i LOVE him

blankets i sleep with: i used 2 sleep w two but i kept kicking one of them off so i jus use one these days two actually

favourite bands/artists: (kpop) sf9 exo gfriend twice and svt // (non kpop) one direction michael buble frankie valli + the four seasons and the beach boys lmao awwwww . . . carly rae jepsen , twice , gfriend , and sum 41

dream trip: lets go 2 south korea hell yea or or or i want 2 go back to africa or the philippines i need to go back to china or visit ireland

dream job: baker, newspaper editor, early childhood educator, asl interpreter, or jus like general translator for another language idk so cute . i think im gonna be a neuropsychologist hopefully if i get into grad school LMFAO

wearing: radiology sweater and pj shorts! shirt and shortz

age of blog: almost two years bc i made this march 19th 2015 oh my fucking god

url because…: bruh i miss na jaemin so much u have no idea he makes me so happy jus seeing him smile and like i havent seen a recent pic of him in ages like im real sad abt it :( when he comes back idk if i will go back 2 coolboyrenjun or like change to coolboyjaemin lmao i love winwin

go-to ssbb character: idk ive been trying 2 branch out from kirby so i play as the naked ross lynch looking guy sometimes (shelk or smth… shulk i think idk) i still love him

fictional character i’d date: levi from fangirl ok good answer . but i would choose zuo ran from tears of themis LMFAO 

how many blogs do i follow: 568 lmao its like 238 or something and only like twenty are active i think KSDHJDHS

what do i post about: nct and memes idk nothing much just doing my monthly roundz

do i get asks on a regular basis: no lmao only for ask games but regular basis asks seem fun no SLJHSJDHJLS

aesthetic: late night type stuff??? homey thingy sometimes too. like suburban houses w fog and then a pop of smth colorful… idk man what . . . . im a girl who likes kandi and yeah

[pinkandgreenroom]

I was tagged by @mona-liar, thank you so much!!!! ❤❤❤

I tag @im-not-a-monster, @ojibways, @brrave-face, @soullessminyard, @pinktop-s, @thottiehardy, @acelucky

1. Why did you choose your url? I was 16 when I started this blog and I wanted to make sure no one in real life could find it so I somehow went with that name? Idk, I have always liked the pink and green colour combination I guess and this was the only good thing I could come up with (and tbh, I never found a better name so it stays) 2. Any side blogs? Nope 3. How long have you been on tumblr? Too long, since November 2011....UGH...it's gonna be 10 damn years in a few months.... 4. Do you have a queue tag? No, either I am online and go on reblog sprees or I am not and there is silence 5. Why did you start this blog in the first place? A friend of mine showed me this site and her blog and I thought it was interesting and half a year later I made myself a blog as well...tbh I started because I wanted to reblog pretty pictures and maybe use this a bit as a diary? And guess what I am still using this as. 6. Why did you choose your icon? Because the song slaps and their performance was so good, I am still grinning like an idiot when I think of it. 7. Why did you choose your header? Because that is a mood tbh and because he is drinking beer. Also I just happen to love this dude very very much 8. How many mutuals do you have? I have no idea...probably a lot but I only talk to a handful and with the rest it's just silently following each other and occasionally reblogging some stuff from each other 9. How many followers do you have? I don't know tbh? Like I never really check the number, I just see whenever someone new follows but that's it 10. How many do you follow? I literally have no idea, maybe around 300 people? But like half of them are probably inactive and I only follow them cause we're mutuals 11. Have you ever made a shitpost? Yes and they are my most popular posts for some reason -_- 12. How often do you use tumblr a day? Nearly every day for several hours....too much, I am trying to reduce it though 13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Yes, some years ago...and it was super stupid and not really a fight but unpleasant nontheless...and yes it was my fault because I was a) incredibly stupid and b) unnecessarly hateful...but well, that is long in the past, now I can vagueblog better 14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? I hate them so much and I usually try to ignore them 15. Do you like tag games? YES!!!! I love them!! 16. Do you like ask games? YES, I like to ask someone something and shower them with love and to recieve love in return!!! 17. Which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous? I can think of a few, mainly because their posts blew up or they are getting weird replies but tbh I have no idea 18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? No. I never had a crush on anyone so I wouldn't know tbh. But I know they are incredibly beautiful <3

[halorocks1214]

Hey, could I request more of that ‘Alan has cancer’ fic please? With Scott looking after Alan when he’s not feeling well, like a really tender moment?

sure! i hope you dont mind me nabbing prompt number 4. “Please stay with me.” for this. its based on the number in your URL :] (i would have also grabbed 7 for fun but theres no way im fitting that sentence in lol)

ill be accepting prompts until tomorrow morning, so get them submitted within the next 7 ish hours if you haven't yet and want to! the prompts are pinned at the top of my blog <3 (im going to bed snnnzzzz)

cw for mentions of cancer/cancer symptoms as well as chemotherapy

technical first part to this story but you don't have to read to understand

Scott vividly remembered a memory of both John and Virgil banning him from the kitchen. They already had Grandma to start fires for them, they don't need Scott helping.

But even they would have to be willing to forgive him for dabbling with their janky pancake maker considering the circumstances.

"It's started," Virgil plainly stated while standing on the other side of Scott's desk.

The brunet could only look up confused, the paper he was reading previously loosely gripped in his hand with one of his favorite pens in the other, "What started?"

Virgil sighed, but not at Scott, just at the situation in general, "I was helping Alan get ready this morning and started brushing his hair. I got about four brushes in before a clump of hair fell out."

Well, what great news to start the day off with.

"Jesus," Scott could only lightly slam the paper and pen he was holding down onto the table to push his wrists into his eyes. "Jesus Christ."

They were all expecting it to happen sooner rather than later, still didn't suck any less.

Virgil walked around to place a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder, rhythmic with his comforting rubs as much as possible, "Yep."

Scott left a hand on the side of his face as he looked out over their house with a shake of his head, staring off into space as a million thoughts raced behind his eyes, "God, why Alan out of all people, out of us? What has he done in his life to deserve this?"

Virgil shrugged his shoulders, swallowing the spit in his mouth as he proceeded to look out over the room just like Scott, "Nothing, absolutely nothing, which is why cancer sucks so much. People who get it never deserve all the pain it brings with it."

John mentioned something about eating lots of healthy things during treatment, didn't he?

Scott grabbed a cup from one of the cabinets before heading over to the fridge. Filling the plastic container to the top with some grapes, pineapple, and carrots (Alan's favorites), Scott went back to the tray to place it on there and leaned away a little bit to make sure everything on it looked presentable.

A few pancakes, a cup of juice, utensils, and now a cup of fruits and veggies.

Scott sighed while carefully grabbing the edges of the whole thing, hoping it would be enough (would anything be enough right now?).

Making his way to Alan's room quietly, he used one of his feet to prod the door open to the kid's room, leaning over the tray in his hands to peek inside. With the sun rising over the horizon and peering in from the window, the room was lit up just enough to make Alan's outline on the bed, IV and all.

For the most part, patients tended to receive their treatment in a clinic or hospital, but occasionally, with the help of an on-site nurse, chemotherapy can be given at a person's own home. With both Brains' and Virgil's expertise, it wasn't that hard convincing the staff to release Alan and to let him stay with his own family.

They weren't dumb with it, and anything they were even slightly unsure about involved inviting a private doctor to the island to help them out, but for the most part, they knew the best thing they could do for the kid was letting him be in a familiar environment he felt safe at.

With a soft 'click', the door was pushed back shut with the same foot he used to open it. Scott took a deep breath, "Alan?"

He thought he would need to speak again before the youngest finally stirred and rotated himself around to look at the door. Once he noticed who was in his room and what that person was carrying, he sat up on his hands and knees with an ear-to-ear grin, "Scott!"

Scott was sure to hide the way he wanted to grimace at how Alan sounded, "Hey Allie, I got something for ya."

Walking over to the bed, Scott leaned down to place the food on Alan's lap, grinning at how happy the smile on his face was. Sitting down on the edge of the covers, Scott crossed his arms as he stayed to make sure nothing went wrong.

Ignoring how Alan's hand trembled while holding the fork, Scott watched Alan take a bite of pancake. He hummed around the utensil in his mouth, words mumbled as he spoke with food in his mouth, "Wow, this is great! Did Virgil make this?"

Scott laughed, though it had a hint of unsureness behind it, "Um, thank you, but no, I made it."

Alan moved to munch on some grapes as he absorbed the words, "But John said you weren't allowed to use the kitchen any more?"

Dirty snitches the lot of his brothers were, sometimes. With a fond sigh, Scott reached forward and ruffled Alan's hair the softest he ever had, "Well, he can take it up with me later if it bothers him so much."

Alan giggled before continuing on and finishing the breakfast Scott made for him. Nothing else needed to be said, everything the two of them needed could be achieved by just being in each other's presence. It almost felt like an eternity, with how slowly Alan was eating, but eternity was exactly how much time Scott had for his brothers anyway.

Setting the fork down, Alan leaned back with a blissed-out sigh, "That hit the spot. Thanks again Scooter."

Scott nodded, "Of course, it was my pleasure."

The brunet stood up and stretched his arms above his head to get the knots out of his back. Before he could fully reach down to grab the tray for when he left the room, Alan shot forward and wrapped his hand around his older brother's wrist.

The grip laughably weak, yet it still tugged on Scott's heart all the same. Despite it all, Alan still had the ability to whip out an absolutely stellar pair of puppy-dog eyes, "Please stay with me."

Scott had a lot to do today. He had to sign a bunch of papers, make a few phone calls, and he still wasn't sure whether or not he needed to go to the mainland for an in-person meeting. Still, "Sure thing, bub."

As gently as he could, Scott lowered himself back onto the bed next to Alan, grabbing the now-free-of-food tray and setting it onto the table next to them. Worming his way closer to the headboard to be more comfortable, Scott had all of two seconds before Alan's head was on his shoulder and the kid's arms were wrapped around his right one.

With a fond sigh, Scott pulled out his phone, content with the idea that he'd probably be hunkering down for a while. After a few rings, he held it horizontal as John's hologram appeared before him.

He spoke quietly, "Hey John, do you mind rescheduling anything I have for today for later in the week? Something came up, I'm gonna be kind of busy."

Noticing the tuft of blond in the corner of Scott's hologram, John didn't need to be told twice, "Sure thing, Scott."