#im starting to calm down now so that's good
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
animeshotsh · 2 days ago
Text
Parenting | Viktor x Jayce x Kid!Reader | Arcane ¤
Tumblr media
Reader is nicknamed Spark! (I think is pretty gn).
Warnings: PLATONIC - Mentions of trauma - Reader cries - Jayce gets called mom - SFW - Reader is a kid so their speech is not developed - OFF CANON EVENTS -
Now Jayce did think this was not going to be easy.
But how do you explain a kid that no, their parents are not fighting and no, Dad is not leaving forever.
He has no idea.
It started well, just an evening at his house with you and Viktor. Just seeing how all of this would work, and it was going well. Jayce had let you take his bed till they figured something about it. Made dinner and gave you some toys (blue ot course) to play with.
Now, they were not living together yet. It was something that was going to happen eventually but work was always first and honestly? They were used to just stay at each other places. It was like having two homes.
Home is were the peopel you love are.
But now, you are here. And after a long play session Viktor said how he needed to go back home to read some notes for tomorrow's work and also get some clean clothes.
When Jayce asked him to stay since it was too late Viktor just scoffed and told him it was fine. Nothing would happen.
Yes, his tone was a bit cold but he was tired, Jayce did not take it at heart but you....
"Dad...leaving?" You asked in your hand a odd plush Jayce had decided to get you.
"Yes, i need to go home" Viktor have said without thinking much.
Then he hear it, the slow but raising cries.
"Nono! Dad not leave" You said going to him and hugging his leg. "Mom need dad!"
Viktor felt his world go upside down, he had seen kids cries but never once he had a situation like this one.
"Now now Spark, Dad is not leaving forever" Jayce said taking you to put you at eye level with Viktor ending in you hugging now Viktor's neck.
"He is going to go and get something, you will see him again tomorrow" Jayce tried to explain pulling you away from Viktor but you just hugged him more.
"NO!! Dad stay" its was a scream now and a demand. You were looking at Viktor like he was your world.
"I cant little Spark" Viktor said softly pulling you away but taking you from Jayce arms. "Dad needs to get work done"
"N-no!! I will be good, i dont bother. Im good" you said between sobs. That was an indicator that something had happened in your past for you to react this way and it made Viktor's soul shatter.
"Listen, how about we play some more and then sleep?" He tried this time
"You stay?" You asked and Viktor looked at Jayce for help who was very much lost in all of this.
"I will stay, I promise" Viktor agreed kissing your head.
~~~~~~~~~
Once you were finally asleep Viktor and Jayce let themselfs fall on the livingroom, both mentally tired.
"I told you this was not going to be easy" Viktor said checking the hour then letting out a displeased sound "And now is too dam late"
"Hey, we can pass for your notes tomorrow morning" Jayce tried to calm down his boyfriend. "Besides this may be a sign" He added getting a look from Viktor.
"I mean-" Jayce started blushing "We did say we were going to move together and now with our little Spark..." Jayce said getting quiet when Viktor did not respond
"Well, I believe its true. And now we know how big the place needs to be" Viktor finally said. "We need four rooms, one for us, one for (Y/N), one for our lab at home and one for...storage" Viktor counted with his fingers then looked at Jayce. "Maybe keep one of hour homes too, since we do have lots ot things, and i would prefer to get dangerous things away from (Y/N)"
"So....yeah thats seems to be right" Jayce said thinking "It will cost...a lot" he added getting a nod from Viktor.
"Yes it will, but its not like we are short on it" He added
"Then its decided! I will start to look tomorrow right away, do you think we should get a garden? Or backyard? Would Spark like it?" Jayce asked more and more ecxited and imagining you running around.
"Just...lets start looking at a four room house, we will see about details" Viktor finally said calming Jayce down.
"Mom? Dad?" A sleepy you appeared making them look in worry
"Nightmare?" Jayce asked getting up as you nodded
"Come here little Spark, lets get you back to bed, mom will read you a story"
"Can Dad come too?" You asked looking at Viktor who despite being tired as hell got up with his cane.
"Of course, how does Introduction to Physics sound?" Viktor joked as you quickly moved your head saying no.
"No! I hate that one"
"A shame, its fine literature" Viktor responded getting a laught from Jayce.
80 notes · View notes
lillydoobiddle · 18 hours ago
Text
Pairing: Husband!Heeseung x Wife!(f)Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Genre: fluff, marriage life, romance
synopsis: It just how you and heeseung as a family spent your weekend together with both of your one and only daughter.
Warning: broken english and there might be a typo since i wrote this in the middle of the night (pls understand:D)
This morning wasnt very bright like usually it was. The rain keep pouring down, wetting the street and trees since the night before. You wake up because how loud the storm is. The loud sound from the storm got you a little bit terrified. Since kid, you always scared with loud voices but you forced yourself always to pretend like it was fine until you grew up.
Slowly, you open your eyes, pull the blanket to cover all your body and leaving only your head. You try to sleep again, try to enjoy the sound of the rain but the storm make it harder. Suddenly, you feel a hands wrapped around your waist. A soft kisses lean on your ear. “Im here baby.. im here” it was heeseung voice.
since the first time you awake and tried to get back to your sleep, heeseung also awake and already notice your movement that seems something like has bothering you. He just realize it was the storm and he knows you hate it.
Gladly when he calms you like this, you became even calmer and your breath get more slower.. giving him a sign you already relax. Both of you get back to sleep, change both of your position to start cuddle before you burried your face in his chest while his hand covering your ears. Few hour passed when both of you already in your two own dreams, suddenly a small sounds of someone open the bedroom door echo in the room.
A gentle and slow stepped sounds getting closer towards the bed. The one who notice the strange sounds at first was heeseung, since he’s very sensitive with small sounds near him. He sat himself back on the bed as he picked up ji-a small body when she try so hard to get up on the kingsize bed. “Sweetpie.. what are you doing here?” He asked. He still very sleepy “cannot sleep daddy.. the storm was loud. Im scared” ji-a voice sounds very innocent. She just like you, scared of storm
“Okay okay.. then sleep with us. Daddy and mommy here for you” Heeseung put her to lay on the middle as you still in your dream. Didnt realize ji-a already with both of you.
The clock showed up 9:45 AM and your eyes finally open. But the kingsize bed already have no one on it besides you. “Where did hee go?” You mumbled to yourself. You think he might in the bathroom right now so you decide to went down stairs towards the kitchen. In your way, your mind full with the idea of breakfast for this morning. Being a mother, wife, and also business woman makes you very exhausted lately. It makes you pretty lazier then usual
When you stepped your foot in the kitchen, your eyes widen. You can see ji-a was making a pancakes with heeseung. Heeseung pick ji-a up with one arm while she begin to pour the pancakes batter onto the hot pan. Both of them notice your appearance and suddenly heeseung put ji-a down, ji-a took a plate of pancakes on the counter top and ran pretty fast to you
“Mommy…Good morningg!! I made you pancakes with daddy” ji-a said while giggles. She show you the pancakes she made with your favorite chocolate syrup and strawberry pieces as the topping. “Awww baby..” you kneeled in front of her and kiss her cheeks as much as you can. Your heart full now with the sign of your 5 years daughter cook this for you. Heeseung cannot stop smiling watching both of your interaction that makes his heart warm
“You are such a talented girl! I love you.. mommy will eat it okay?” Ji-a smile and nodded her head excitedly before you took the plate from her tiny hand. “Ji-a.. dont you wanna help daddy making the rest of the pancakes too?” Heeseung finally speak again making that little girl ran back to him
All of you, finally having breakfast together with pancakes that your 5 y.o daughter made. After the breakfast, it was a usual weekend day. Heeseung, you, and ji-a mostly spent the day with playing in the living room. Maybe you guys watch some movies, have karaoke in the living room together, or heeseung will invited his two princess to dance like a castle people with disney song
4 hours family time together feels like 4 minutes only and now its time for ji-a to have a little nap. “Come onn sweetie! Arent you tired already?” You ask “but mommy.. can i have few minutes again? I still want to play with daddy and you!!” She whined, her gaze turned to heeseung with her boba eyes
“We can play later ji-a.. now its time for you to have nap okay? Be good and listen your mommy” Heeseung speak gently but his words was stern to make his only daughter disipline about time “okayyy.. im gonna go to sleep” She quickly went to her bedroom followed by both of you. Heeseung and you gonna be by her side till she fall asleep.
After she fall asleep, Its time to spend time with your libra husband. You lay on the living room couch but your head was on his lap. He softly caressing your hair, and asked something to open the conversation between both of you “I see your face lately getting prettier.. but it seems like you hide something” He said and look down at you
“Huh? I dont hide anything” You look confused or maybe pretend to look confused “Nah.. you did. I saw your face lately seems very tired. You often wake up late too. It dosent matter what time you should wake up because i can take care of the house and ji-a too but it was a very uncommon thing for you to wakeup late” He explain “You just wakeup late everytime you are tired.. what’s wrong? What makes you tired?” he asked. This time he was curious
“Im just… very very tired. I should take care of the house, child, my bakery” You let out a heavy sigh “I dont mind doing all of it.. but im a human and i can feel tired”
“Ahh.. i get it. I understand that baby” Hee said as he slowly massage your head “That’s normal and that’s okay. Now just close your eyes and let me help you relax” He said that and you begin to giggles because he always treats you right no matter what.
“Awww you massage my head too hard!”
“Really? Im sorry.. is it good enough?”
“Nahh.. still too hard~”
“Really? You ask too much”
“You are the one that offer this massage.. im just complaining”
“I think i will kiss you if you keep complaining”
and that’s how your family spent a weekend day together
40 notes · View notes
manticore-fangs · 1 day ago
Note
Ram hybrid Schlatt x sheep hybrid reader knotting/omegaverse smut would go so hard 💕💕💕
hghhh, i wanna do this justice but my writing has been horrible lately.. i hope you enjoy this though! :3
cw: knotting, biting, breeding, possible praise?
schlatt has you in full nelson, shoving his cock into you, his thighs smacking against your own as you let out loud moans in pleasure. you lean your head back and rest it against his shoulder, schlatt plants sticky kisses against your shoulder and continues thrusting roughly up.
"f-fuck s-schlatt- feels t- too good." you moan, your tail slightly wagging even if its stuck between you and schlatts body, though his tail goes back and forth swiftly.
your ears bounce each thrust, schlatt has the urge to bite them but tries to hold back. "fuck doll. pussy's too fuckin' good for me. jesus, jesus-" he slightly chomps down on your ear and you yelp, your eyes widening before slightly shutting them again.
"schlatt!! that was my ear!" you whine, though you do enjoy the slight sting. your ears pulses as it starts to bruise. your head is pounding and every single cell in your body is yelling you to get bred by the ram behind you.
"what do you want lil sheep. what do you want me to do?" schlatt ask's between huffs of breath, the ramming of his hips starting to get more intense.
you lean in close to his droopy ear and whisper. "want you to breed me schlatt- please." you slightly put your hands together like your praying and start moving them back and forth almost like in a praying motion.
"holy fuck- yeah- okay doll. okay." he grips your thighs with bruising force and starts licking at your scent glands, sucking on them even. he needs you to be marked with him. every single cell of yours needs to be marked by him and only him.
"gonna fuck you full with my cubs, filling up your womb with them. i know its what you want, so ill deliver, ill fill you with cubs and force you to take every drop of my cum." he speaks. you bleat right after and start trying to grind your hips into his cock, even though he sets a rough pace already.
he catches the grinding of your hips and tsks. "i know toots i know." he shushes you every time you let out a whine of need. "im gonna fill you up, i promise- gonna knot you very soon. gonna plug you up with my cubs and lambs." he starts tracing your unmarked scent gland with his sharp teeth.
"im gonna cum schlatt- i-" you start to loose your voice with your bleating and moaning, schlatts knot starts to form at the base of his cock and starts catching at your entrance. you feel the intensity of your orgasm coming with each of schlatts thrusts.
"cum for me toots, i know you want it. its alright- ill knot ya'." he says between rumbles and finally, he pushes you over the edge. he fucks himself up into you three more times before his knot fully enters in you, the both of you let out loud groans; even though yours is more like a screech than it is a groan.
your relax your body after the tensing, leaning against schlatt as he starts to suck at the gland, cleaning up the blood as he marked you fully. leaving a deep crimson bite on your neck.
schlatt licks up the blood, swallowing down the slight droplets of it. the both of you in the position, schlatt is too worried to move and you are too weak to even relent.
schlatts knot starts to deflate, the cum surprisingly sticking deep inside you after the deepness. but just in case he moves a pillow underneath you hips, looking at your hole to make sure no liquid seeps out. he seems satisfied with how gravity works and gets up to grab a rag with warm water.
he comes back and starts dabbing the bloodied mark, shushing you every time you whined, letting out small. "i know doll, i know.. its okay." so he can calm you down with his voice. he does notice the wag of your tail when he talks, hoping he can soothe you down with his voice.
he is your mate now, forever until then.
46 notes · View notes
the-s1lly-corner · 2 days ago
Text
A Rock (Hoodie x Reader) (Ending 6)
It took a few extra days but it's done! Sorry if this is a little off, Ive been in a bit of a funk lately and im only just getting back into writing fics so this may be iffy grrr as usual, there will be a poll at the bottom to determine the next ending hooray notes: reader is gn, nonverbal hoodie, he uses sign language, you are learning sign but arent very good yet, asl is used here cws: none word count: 2.1k
Tumblr media
You reach your hand into the hat and pull out…
A rock. The kind you can find just anywhere, it was nothing special. If anything it was heavy in your hand as you curled your fingers around it and displayed it to everyone in the room. You glanced at Jeff for an answer, and even he seemed to be at a loss for who put it in. At least, that was until a tall figure stepped closer and stood over his shoulder.
Hoodie.
Jeff didn’t even notice him until the taller man pointed at you- or perhaps the rock- from over Jeff’s shoulder. “Christ-” Jeff barked as he spun around and glared up to the proxy. Hoodie gave no response, his gaze seemingly fixed right onto you. His mask made him impossible to read, but you couldn’t help but fight the need to squirm under his eyes. You slowly rise to your feet and circle around the couch. By the time you joined the pair Jeff had calmed himself enough to attempt to drag you down the hall to the closet you’d spend the next seven minutes in. 
“Seven minutes,” Jeff huffed, still clearly miffed from being startled. 
You give him one last glance as you back up into the closet, your back making contact with the wall of flesh behind you right as the door closes. You jolt, and spin around to face the proxy in front of you. He was so much taller than Masky or Toby, and he nearly took up all of the free space in the closet. You push yourself against the door and cane your neck awkwardly to him as he tried to hunch himself to fit under the shelf above his head… the sight slightly undoing some of the nerves eating away at you. 
“I guess the closet is too small, huh?” You ask in an attempt to break the silence. The words felt stupid as they left your mouth, but you couldn’t take them back now. Hoodie paused in his struggle, and stared at you. The red frowny face on his mask was nearly impossible to see in the dark… you weren’t sure if he looked more intimidating with or without it. 
He didn’t say anything, and for a moment you thought he hadn’t heard you- until he raised his hand and made a motion. Multiple motions with both hands, actually. 
He was signing. 
How could you forget? You’ve seen him signing to some of the others before. 
Yet that didn’t aid you in trying to decipher what he was saying, the limited studying of sign language only barely aiding you. 
“Wait-” Your eyes darted from his hands to his face. “I’m not… the best at sign,” 
Hoodie’s hands pause in mid air for a few seconds, before signing once more.
This batch of signs you could understand.
He was tall, and the closet was small. You being here did nothing to help- though with the way he conveyed his body language he didn’t sound accusatory. At least, you think so.
You clasp your hands together and look away once he finishes. You scrape your brain in order to find something to say, anything to start a conversation. You weren’t sure if you could handle seven minutes in absolutely silence- with nothing being said or signed.
“You know, maybe when we’re out of here you can give me some pointers on how I’m doing- I mean, with the signing. I’ve been trying to figure it out so you have someone else to talk to asides Masky, and uh… Toby… and I guess Slenderman…” You mutter, trailing off as Hoodie lightly waved his hand to get your attention.
“You were learning for me?” Was what you picked up, you hoped you were correct. 
You nod and swallow the uncomfortable lump in your throat. “Yeah, I mean… I’m not very good at it but I know how to finger spell and I know some of the bare basic signs, still trying to figure out full sentences and… stuff…” You offer a shrug. 
He grows still for a long moment. 
A very long moment. 
You drum your fingers along the back of the door. “Do… you want to switch spots? Being scrunched up like that can’t be comfortable,” 
That seems to bring him back, and he nods. He’s the first to start moving first, shuffling against the wall in order to not squish you while also not tripping on anything unseen on the floor. You’d think that they’d sweep through the closet before using it for a game played in the dark, however that… did not seem to be the case as Hoodie’s feet gets caught on something on the floor- a spare jacket or something of the like. The sudden shift sends him falling forward, and if he hadn’t slammed his hands on either side of you he would have crushed you against the door with his entire weight. His face came to a stop next to yours, you couldn’t feel his breath on you but you could most certainly hear it as he tried to regain him composure. This was quite possibly the most noise you’ve heard from him from the entire time you’ve known him. 
You hear footsteps outside before they pause. Then;
“You alright-t?” 
It was Toby. 
You try to steady your breath, which only proved to be near impossible as Hoodie kept you trapped between him and the door. “We’re..” You start, only now aware that the fall and scramble had slightly pushed Hoodie’s mask up to reveal his lower jaw.
You never took him for one to have some facial hair…
“We’re fine, Hoodie just slipped on something,” You finally draw out. You bring your hands to the man’s wrists and try to help him up. He continues to slip on whatever has been left on the floor. 
Toby only gives a soft okay, before walking away after a moment of lingering. 
He finally manages to get to his feet- not only that but he quickly switches positions in an instant before he has the chance to slip once more. It happens so fast that you hardly have time to register it before the force of movement has you tugged right against his chest. It’s a few seconds later that he releases your wrists. 
And of course, he slammed loud into the door for a second time… what were the others thinking was happening? You didn’t want to think about it. 
You could feel his heart beating in his chest as you shifted your face around to look up at him. Despite being released, you remained in the pose you landed in against him… you finally let your hands fall to a rest at your sides. 
With a mask covered face, it made it easy for you to stare at him for a little longer than you would like to admit. No visible eyes made you feel too comfortable remaining pressed deep against him. Though, he didn’t make any attempt to remove you from him. In fact, he remained entirely still under you. 
When he did budge, it was to raise his hands to the edges of his mask and pull it back down to cover the parts that were exposed to you. You… weren’t sure what came over you, but your hands found themselves back around his wrists- holding them in place as his fingers hooked on his mask.
“Wait…” You say, half muffled as you shift your mouth away from the fabric of his jacket. “Can…” 
His hands twitched in your grasp.
“Can I see?” You asked softly. 
Hoodie’s hands remained still as he turned your request over in his head. Enough of his face was visible that you could see dimples forming and unforming on his jaw as he seemingly worked unspoken words in his mouth. 
…then he slowly started to raise his hands, slowly revealing his face.
You… actually weren’t expecting him to be so quick to show you…
As it rised, you could see the facial hair lining his jaw clearly now, he seemed to be a few days past a shave- nothing too much, faint nonetheless. Your eyes raked across each feature as they revealed themselves- first his mouth, then his nose and cheeks, and finally his eyes. They were tired, but there was something intense in them that shot warmth through you. 
He let the mask rest scrunched up at his hairline, pushing back any hair he might have had- keeping it out of sight. He must have had short hair. 
Your eyes flick across each part of his face before settling somewhere away from the look his eyes were giving you. 
“You look…”
He tilts his head to the side.
“..Nice…” you manage to get out, and offer him a smile. He matches it. He lightly shakes his hands, reminding you that they were still held captive by yours- did you help him lift the mask, or was he simply letting you keep your hands there? 
Regardless you tug your hands away and place them somewhere on his upper arms. “You should take your mask off more often, at least around the mansion,” 
Hoodie shakes his face, but does not elaborate. You decide not to push him.
Besides, this was nice, wasn’t it? How many people could say that they’ve seen what he’s got hidden away? Not a lot, you were sure.
A secret shared between the two of you. 
You open your mouth only to screw it shut as someone knocked on the door. 
“One minute!” Jeff called out from the otherside. 
One minute? Already? 
Your eyes dart from Hoodie’s face to the door behind him, then back to his face. 
“Alright-” Jeff keeps knocking. “Alright! We heard!” 
Jeff gave one last knock before ceasing.
“You know…” You rest your head on Hoodie’s chest. “My doors always open if you want to come help me learn my signs, that offer is still open,” You smile. 
He… actually returns it.
His hands find themselves to your shoulders and gently push you off of him. His hands remain as he stares hard at you. 
“What? Do you need a payment for your time?” You tease. He shakes his head, but you find enough boldness inside you to tug him down to your height. “You know for a game about kissing and other things, we didn’t do anything,” 
You felt him warm under your touch as he picked up on what you were saying. 
A kiss for his time, if he wanted it. 
He seemed to weigh his options, fully aware that whatever happened next wouldn’t affect the offer to teach you later. 
He leaned in quick and pressed his lips against yours. It was hardly a peck, it was over as quick as it started. It took nothing for him to pull himself out of your grasp and rise to his full height. He tugged his mask down over his face just mere seconds before the door opened- but you caught the smirk tugging across his face before it was hidden away.
“You-” You hiss playfully, only to cut yourself off as the light blinded you. 
“Alright, both of you out!” Jeff stood to the side, tilting his head to the side to try to get a good look at the two of you. Asides from the stumbling, neither of you looked particularly roughed up. That… did not seem to stop the “knowing” look Jeff gave you as you shuffled out into the hallway, still reeling from the peck Hoodie had given you. “Man he really fucked you up didn’t he,” Jeff teased. You shoot him a glare that he only waves off, he tells you don’t need to play another round if you’re too spent.
You glare holes into the back of his head as he walked back to the living room where everyone else was… until Hoodie taps on your shoulder. You spin on your heel to face him, quickly softening your face. 
He points at you, and swirls his pointer fingers around in a loose circle. He then points his index finger to the ceiling…
No, he’s asking if you want to go upstairs and start your signing lessons.
You smile, and nod. “I didn’t think you’d want to start so soon,”
Not that you were complaining. 
“You’ll have to go easy on me, though, not at all a quick learner…” You mutter as you walked with him down the hall and towards the stairs. You ignore the looks some of the others gave the two of you as you both passed by.
24 notes · View notes
mieczyhale · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
milkbreadtoast · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
OH GOD OH FUCK
Tumblr media
169 notes · View notes
opheliac · 14 days ago
Text
starting to really recognize when i'm overstimulated and what actually helps. based on how often it's happened lately, i see i really require complete silence + alone time for my health and proper functioning.
2 notes · View notes
carcarrot · 1 month ago
Text
dream time
#have to get this down before i forget it#been having weird/not good dreams lately until last night (mere hours ago bc its still dark out this morning)#writing this on my way to work and in the dream i was on the bus to work. however an important difference between reality and the dream is#that in the dream i was sharing my bus ride w mr larroquette. as one does#this was like mouse bites era john im sorry thats the best way i can describe how he looked#and i guess it was like we kinda knew each other?? and we ended up talking about poetry writing and stuff#wish i could remember the specifics of that#at some point we got off the bus and got onto another one unfortunately a common theme in my dreams is going somewhere in a complicated way#and on that bus ride i sat next to him again and he was like oh i normally listen to music for this part of my trip#and i was like ope don't wanna keep you from that! but he didnt mind talking for a bit more and we talked abt music#bc apparently id recommended he listen to the album big world by joe jackson and he said he didn't like it on first listen but hed try again#when we got off this bus and were walkin to where i worked (i guess he worked around there too???)#we went back to talking abt writing and i was talking abt my old poetry writing class and the kind of things i wrote#and he expressed an interest in reading those old poems and i was like oh ok i guess ill look for em#but i was thinking to myself noooo those arent good i wrote those in high school you dont wanna read themmm#and then it became like hard to get down the street bc people were moving slow on the sidewalk (classic new york moment)#so we went out into the street to like cut around#and there was some truck like causing things to get backed up#and so john started like yelling at the truck driver to move out of there LMAO#and i think thats all i remember w him. but i just remember talking w him was very calming and comforting#come on man. what are you doing in my dreams#later in my dream i just remember telling people about this so im telling you all now#anyway .
4 notes · View notes
carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
Note
oof i'm so sorry you're having a rough time right now. sending you all the good vibes i got your way, homie ⭐⭐
thanks my guy, i Appreciate it <3<3<3
23 notes · View notes
nabaath-areng · 5 months ago
Text
It's funny how my psychiatrist and psych nurses are all so supportive about my as of yet undiagnosed physical issues and do their best to keep those in mind when we discuss my care. Meanwhile GP and qualified doctors either tell me to "not compare my googling to their medical degree" or go all "yeah EDS sounds quite likely actually but there's no point diagnosing that since it cannot be cured anyway"
4 notes · View notes
aropride · 1 year ago
Text
i am literally the bravest little guy in the world no contest. i have been so brave about it so many times. i will continue to do this forever
9 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
Text
...
#listen. sometimes. when i get emails pertaining to a specific project i worked on that nearly broke my brain. i just stop what im doing#and start playing Losing My Religion by REM. and i wish the person emailing me could see me face down at a table listening to thay song#mostly its fine. its just when someones trying to manage the data files so i kno im gonna have to go back thru and update my code#for a bunch of tiny stuff and its like: does this sound ok? and i just dont care so much that i want to start screaming#and then at the end of the day i hike up a fucking mountain going over what im gonna tell a therapist when my insurance switches#and im gonna say it in a way thats v calm and agreeable but i want to scream and tear my hair out. or maybe i wont b agreeable. i wasnt#last time i was in a therapist office but that guy deserved it and i wasn't being that bad#ugh. im just mad bc working on my stuff makes me so miserable that when i stop its like wow im no longer in agony. cool#coool. fun times. becoming increasingly apprehensive abt how im gonna try to b more healthy abt working while taking on triple#the responsibility with a phd project and being a student and being a TA. i mean. ill try but its gonna b fucking interesting#ugh. had to bust out the burnout playlist. which like. when u try to look at other ppls burnout playlists they all suck#theyre all like former gifted kid burnout Playlists and im like fuckkk offfff. why do u not have the incredibly specific vibes that im#looking for? i just demand the perfect burnout playlist and somehow nobody puts No Surprises on there#like what??? y not? its a song abt being so totally saturated that youve had enough. a heart thats full up like a landfill. a job that#slowly kills u. bruises that wont heal. how is it not THE burnout song? but whatever. i listen to too much radi0head.#ugh. but now my burnout playlist is becoming too much like my My Brain Doesnt Feel Too Good playlist#listen. i just need to curate playlist so that they can express the feelings for me#unrelated
8 notes · View notes
waheedawolf · 8 months ago
Text
.
#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over#stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that#the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no#way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try#to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying#things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she#just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was#spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she#didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively#asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a#bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i#didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to#embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going#to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave#she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this#i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad#delete later
2 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
Text
love my right-hand rgg men deranged. a little blood splattered even.
#snap chats#this post is about yoshitaka mine and jo sawashiro do NOT reblg and put anyone else in the tag or im egging your house#one of you rebellious bitches are gonna do that cause i said it now... unless we keep playin uno and we go#'oh but now that you said that i wont touch this post' OK WELL GOOD IM RAMBLING IN HERE !!!!! GET OUT !!!!!#dont get out. stay if you want. its dark down here i have two (2) candles burning this time and i feel like im summoning the devil#yeah i am summoning the devil the motherfucker that lives in my mind#im never getting to the point of this post. btw. im stringing all of you along. im cold. literally and figuratively.#mine never even got to be blood splattered..... hate this franchise..... unless we talkin ishin but ishin was a blood bath it dont count#anyway sorry (<- not) someone reminded me of majima being fake crazy about kandas head in the box#call that a dick in a box GOTTEM. fuck kanda all my homies hate kanda#and yeah...... sat here and started thinking and giggling and kicking my feet 🥰#sorry i mention the eye scene once a month but no other scene compares to it for me. it has everything i could ever want#🏳️‍🌈❓❓ behavior and raw gore and nothings more brutal then personally taking your thumb and sticking it in someones eye#always reminds me of that slipknot song.. Duality... and not the song called Eyeless.... hate this band....#like please its my crack its my meth its my drug of choice#knife scene good too for similar reasons....... but i do like the eye scene just .2% more... sorry... i like how gorier it is...#knife scene still raw as hell tho like UGH sorry love them. i love jo and mine cause they Seem calm for like .2 seconds and then theyre ill#their demeanors are so funny to me tho like mine's like Thoroughly professional near all the time but jo is just Slightly more vulgar#like jo more typically says crass/aggressive things while mine Genuinely most of the time is just 🧍‍♂️#very funny... love them all the same... <- said he was gonna draw but hasnt drawn shit#I SAW THE FIRST EPISODE OF KYOUEN (jdrama starring nakai) AND NOOO IT LOOKS SO SPICY I WANNA WATCH THE REST#but i made a promise..... so i'll save that binge session for the morn i suppose....#anyway dont look at me im giggling and twirling my hair at the thought of my Real Crazy bitches#i love them <- cant say this enough my heart will literally explode if i try to#stream chat got me thinkin a jo.... oopsie..... i refuse to say anything heinous Respect Your Elders etc etc#ok bye. im normal <- is going to go watch the eye scene again
14 notes · View notes
blackvelvetofnight · 10 months ago
Text
coworkers who you'd hang with outside of work but on shift you need to kill with hammers
#so many of our part time people are incredible but there are a few that make me homicidal#one of our people is so sweet but has that flaky hippie energy that Does Not Work in this field#one morning she came in and i was like ok i need you to stay with this person while i get literally all of this shift done#and she was like okay! 😃 and not even five minutes later i looked up from the eight tasks i was juggling#and she was wandering over to the coffee maker meanwhile the person was losing their fucking mind while she was pouring her coffee#like la la la tee hee !#like with love and light meet me outside i just want to talk#a different day i had gotten everything done and had all my residents ready to go. meanwhile there was ONE resident left upstairs with her#and i heard screaming and pounding and was like christ ok and came up to check in with her and she was like haha yeah theyre really mad#and started going aww i bet you want to calm down right now wow youre going to regret being this mad later!#and i had to be like i need you to switch with me RIGHT NOW and shes all surprised like ok if you say so lol#i miraculously got everyone calm enough to get out the door and pulled her aside like HEY person who has worked here for nearly two years#when someone is not only upset but so escalated theyre trying to KICK DOWN A DOOR#you should not be like haha i bet you want to calm down sooo bad rn#and she was like lol thats a good point! 😃👆#like im going to throw you down a well
2 notes · View notes
lesbiacnh · 10 months ago
Text
omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still 🫨🫨🫨 mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like ‘i need to take better care of myself’ and then ends badly. lol#tiktok ‘everything shower’ joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe i’ll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to school…….#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im not‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ it’s fine‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
3 notes · View notes