#im sorry this whole chapter was crazy for me. i enjoyed it so much. i hope they tear each other to pieces

[dokidaikon]

they call each other slurs

[homestylehughes]

do i know you?

coffee girl: part 2

pairings: luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: y/n's first day on the job, after her encounter big spill with luke hughes. her first day's is going as expected, until she locks eyes with luke, the tension begins to unfold.

wc: 1.6k

warnings: nervous and shy reader and luke. cuteness overload, cussing. fluff? nothing too crazy yet! cliffhanger kinda AGAIN

authors note: OMG HI!! i'm so so sorry it took me forever to get this up. college is actually kicking my ass. (someone help me). ANYWAYS this chapter is more of a filler, more reader focused. we will be getting to the good stuff soon, promise!!! thank you for all of your love and support, so so thankful. like and reblog if you enjoy. as always much love.

happy reading <3

Holy shit I got the job. I got the fucking job. The job that I was late to my interview for, because I ran into cute, sweet, day ruining Luke Hughes, spilling coffee on me and now we’re here.

I'm practically skipping out of the prudential Center, a smile on my face that nothing can take off, even the split coffee on my shirt. 

I start the walk back to my apartment, with a pep in my step. opening my door, my little orange baby Moe greeting me at my feet. 

“Hi, little baby” “mommy got her job” I said to him in a whiney pet voice as I lifted him up into my arms, cradling him into my chest. God, I need more friends, I think to myself.

But none of that matters because I got my dream job, that world is on my side right now. I put Moe back on the ground after our cuddle session, picking up my bag and making my way towards the bathroom. 

I take in my state, Luke's hoodie still covering my body, his scent filling my senses. Letting out a deep sigh, I pulled off the hoodie and put it in my laundry basket. Slowly making my way to my closet, pulling on the first things I find, and plopping myself into my bed. 

My eyes began to slowly close, the events of today filling my mind as I drift off to sleep. 

—

Today is the first day of my job. I'm shitting bricks, I'm not ready for this. You can do this y/n I think to myself, this isn't anything you haven't done before. You are more than qualified for this position. You've worked with athletes before, but these are insanely attractive athletes, but most importantly Luke Hughes is one of them. Fuck…Luke Hughes. 

Im quickly pulled out of my day dream, when the elevator door dings open. Swiftly making my way to my office, my office. 

Walking into the office I call my own, seems unreal, looking around once I set the box of my things on my desk, along with setting my purse in one of the chairs in front of it. Walking around the space taking it all. 

I'm quickly pulled out of my daydream again today when I hear a man's voice behind me. 

“I'm guessing youre y/n y/l/n?” turning around quickly, to meet eyes with the nameless man standing in the doorway.

“Hi yes, I'm y/n, nice to meet you?” I say holding out my hand to the man, whose name I still haven't gotten. “Hi, it's lovely to meet you! I'm Tyler but everyone calls me Ty!” Tyler or I guess ty says, shaking my hand with a smile on his face. 

“I'm guessing you like your place?” Tyler says behind me as we both look around the office, “Yes it's great! I love it already '' I smile back at him.

“Great! Hope you're ready, to meet the team, in about… 5 minutes” he says, as he checks his watch. Oh god, in 5 minutes, i haven't even unpacked yet. Oh gosh what if they all hate me. Oh my god, Luke. Will he remember me??

“I can see everything you're thinking on your face, they're going to love you, the whole team is excited to meet you. It's not everyday we get a female athletic trainer.” Ty says to me pulling me out of my thoughts, calming me down slightly.

“Thank you, i needed that” I sigh out back to him 

“Of course, are you ready?” 

“Yes? I think” Ty chuckles in response, as we make our way out of the office. 

“I'll give you a better in depth tour than the one you've had earlier, later. Sound good?” he says from beside me, nodding my head in agreement. As we make our way through the halls of the center. 

We finally make our way to what I think is the Devils locker room, my heartbeat begins to pick up. 

“The boys finished up practice about 45 minutes ago” Ty says as he's going to open the door, his back now turned to me. “I'm going to go in first to make sure they're all dressed and somewhat put together” he chuckles out to me. 

“Okay, I'll be here,” I say before he enters the locker room. 

It feels like 30 minutes goes by, but it's actually probably only been 2. 

I see Ty head pop out, “y/n, are you ready?” 

“Yes!” NO I  want to say, but I'll keep that to myself. Taking a deep breath, I follow Ty into the locker room. 

Walking in the locker room, I instantly feel 40 pairs of eyes on me. Oh gosh this is scarier than I thought, I say to myself. 

“Gentleman, this y/n, our new athletic trainer!” Ty says gesturing to me, our eyes locking briefly, silently asking me to say something. 

“Hi guys! I'm y/n! I'm really excited to work with guys "I say, as I pause to try and think of something else to say. 

“I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure what else to say… you guys make me nervous.” I laugh nervously. The whole room erupted in chuckles. 

They found that funny? I'll take it. 

“I like her already” I hear a few players chuckle out. My nerves are finally beginning to settle, until I lock eyes with him. Luke. 

It feels like my whole world stops, as his eyes lock with mine, our eyes swimming in each other, his gaze is so strong, it's almost like he’s trying to figure out who I am. 

I'm the first to break contact. Turning around to only get pulled into a conversation with the training staff, as they quickly pulled me out of the locker room, to show me around the rest of the building. 

I can't shake the feeling of Luke's eyes on me, as they show me around. My mind is still foggy from our interaction. 

— 

My “first day” was more of a tour and getting the feel of where everything was. I was even able to get my office together. This is beginning to feel like home I think to myself. Im pulled out my thoughts when I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in!” I shout out, from my desk, my face in the paperwork I'm currently filling out, not bothering to raise my head, thinking it's one of trainers. 

“One second, just trying to do this last bit of paperwork” I say, as my pen is quickly moving across the page. 

“You're okay, take your time” says the voice that I know oh so well, the voice that's been stuck in my head for the last 4 days. 

I slowly bring my head up from my desk, my eyes slowly taking over Luke's figure, taking in his appearance. He's just as beautiful as I member

Quickly snapping out of my trance, clearing my throat “Hi Luke, did you need something?” I ask as politely and professionally as I can. 

“Do I know you from somewhere?” Luke quickly says to me.

“Um.” I am trying to figure out a way to continue this conversation.

I feel Luke's eyes run over my face for the second time today. I see his mouth slowly open, as he runs his hand over his face, letting out a sigh. 

“Oh my gosh, you're the girl I spilt her coffee on like a week ago aren't you?” 

“It's actually been four days but, yes that's me.” I say back letting out a breathlily laugh to my desk. 

“Shit, i'm so so sorry” he rambles out quickly. “Its okay, I promise, it was an accident” 

“But I made you cry, oh my gosh. You were on the way to your interview here, weren't you?”

“Yes I was, but it worked out, I still got the job,” I say, gesturing to the room around us. 

“This is so embarrassing, I'm so sorry.” Luke begins to apologize again. 

“Hey hey, i promise it's okay” i say getting up from my desk, walking around to lean up against the front, to stand in front of Luke. 

“We can start off again on a better foot if you'd like?” I say holding out my hand to him, “Hi, I’m y/n” my hand still being held out in front of him, luke's eyes look me up and before he grasps my hand finally shaking it. “Hi, I’m Luke” he says, staring my eyes. 

“It's nice to meet you” I smile out to him, as our hands drop, his touch still lingering. “You're really pretty when you smile” Luke rasps out to me.

My cheeks begin to heat with a blush, lowering my head, now looking at my feet. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“No, you didn't” i say suddenly “it just surprised me, that's all” 

“Good,” he says quietly, our eyes locked in a soft gaze. 

“I-I should probably get going, let you get back to work.” “Yeah of course, thank you for stopping by” I say, for some reason I don't want him to leave. 

“We’re really happy you're here y/n” luke says to me, there's something about the way Luke says my name, that makes my heart stop for a second. 

“I'm really glad, I'm here too.” 

“Have a great day” he says to me as he makes his way to the door. “You too!” I say turning back to behind my desk. 

Luke turned back once more, to take one final glance in my direction, smiling softly at me again, before closing the door behind him.

I released the breath I didn't even know I was holding out, letting my shoulder fall a little bit.

This job is going to much more difficult than i thought, and it's all because, of my stupid coffee and Luke Hughes. 

[notiddygothgf]

5. murderer

��� pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I could devour you . ❞ ❝ Please. ❞

★ c.w.: smoking, smut, lots of filthy dirty talk omg. (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: HEY YALLLLL!!! im back again. its been a hectic week w college move-in and all. I'm a junior now but like I still get so overwhelmed omg. Anyway, as my premed studies will be bombarding me very soon, I wanted to get this chapter out. Sorry I left yall hanging!!!! This chapter follows the movie. Kinda. But I also went my own direction w it. Its SO DETAILED. it took me like two days to write it. PLEASEEE KEEP COMMENTING yall are so fucking funny. mom adores u all <3333. I HOPE YALL ENJOY THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!! MUAHHHH

★ w.c: .7.6k

shameless ; chapter index

IT WAS YOUR WEDDING NIGHT. You stumbled through the door of your honeymoon suite, giggling like school kids. Your husband was in a suit, the tie loosened and his shirt slightly untucked. You were in a white reception gown, the fabric flowing gracefully around you, and your feet ached from hours of dancing.

As the door closed behind you, you leaned against it, your eyes meeting his. "This is really happening," you laughed, still high on the excitement of the day.

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Crazy, right? I've been promoted to "husband"."

You felt a rush of happiness at the sound of your new title, the way it rolled off his tongue. "And I from Miss to Missus," you repeated, savoring it.

He stepped closer, his hands gently cupping your face. "You look beautiful," he whispered, his voice filled with admiration. "I can't wait to get you out of this dress"

You blushed, feeling the warmth of his gaze. "Patience, dearest husband," you teased with a smile, reaching up to kiss him softly, "You have a whole lifetime to do that."

He pulled away, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Sit down," he instructed, gesturing to the edge of the bed.

Confused but intrigued, you did as he said, perching on the bed's edge. He knelt down in front of you, his hands reaching for your feet. 

"What are you doing?" you asked, a laugh bubbling up.

"Your feet must be killing you," he said, his hands carefully unbuckling your white high heels. "Let me take these off for you."

You felt a wave of tenderness as he gently slipped off your shoes, his fingers brushing against your skin. "You're too good to me," you murmured, watching him with soft eyes.

He looked up at you, his expression serious but loving. "You deserve it," he said simply. "I want to take care of you, always."

In a dimly lit room, the air thick with anticipation, Captain Hayakawa sat on the edge of a plush, luxurious bed in your hotel room, his presence commanding and magnetic. The faint aroma of his cologne lingered in the air, ambery, woody, warm, intoxicating. He took his time rolling the sleeves of his white button down up to his elbows.

With his legs spread wide, a subtle display of dominance, he beckoned you to approach him – gaze locked onto yours like a cat cornering a frightened mouse. He took a lazy pull from a cigarette, curling a finger toward you as if to say 'come here'.

You stood before him, a portrait of feminine allure, your small black party dress clinging to your curves. You knew your eyes mirrored the confusing mix of hesitance and excitement coursing through your veins.

This is really happening.

As you approached him, hips swaying gently from side to side, his eyes drank in every inch of you with evident hunger lingering behind his gaze. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of you, you realized. You both came here for one reason – one rotten, depraved reason.

His hand was warm as it glided up your leg and over your knee, stopping just as he reached the skirt of your dress. Nudging your shoe with his much larger one, he patted his chest.

Under his command, you lifted your foot from the floor and placed your heel on his chest. His hands, strong and confident, reached out for your ankle.

With a cigarette pinched between his teeth, he brought his face closer to the cold skin of your leg, warm breath causing your face to flush with heat. Slowly, tantalizingly, his lips made contact with your calf. The delicate graze of his lips against your skin left an imprint on your memory that you knew would never fade.

Your husband smiled up at you, sliding the shoe off of your foot. "This is all mine now, yeah?"

You smiled right back. "All yours."

The Captain's movements were calm and calculated, expert fingertips tracing the contours of the buckle on your heels. He made slow work of it, being sure to drag it out as he heightened the anticipation of what was to come.

Your skin was ablaze with the fire of your passion, your guilt.

As he slid the shoe off of your foot, his touch was gentle, yet possessive. His fingers lingered over the skin of your ankle just as the heel slipped off. He pressed another hot kiss to the inside of your shin.

Though your breath appeared to have been caught in your throat, you switched feet, allowing your inhibitions to fall away ever-so-slightly as you put your shoe against the fabric of his white dress shirt. Your heel hooked beneath the V-line he had left unbuttoned by mere coincidence, black leather standing out against his pale skin.

He repeated the same process, placing a gentle smooch to your tingling skin. With each searing kiss, he worked his way upward along your thigh, expertly navigating the fine line between temptation and restraint. The room was filled with a palpable tension, the air heavy with unspoken desires and the intoxicating scent of forbidden pleasure. He continued his ascent, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

He's the fucking devil, you thought.

The connection between the two of you was both electric and dangerous, a dance of seduction that blurred the lines between right and wrong.

No, you had long since crossed that line.

As the second heel slipped off, the air grew denser.

In that moment, he took a pause, his hands gliding smoothly over your thighs, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. The sensation sent a surge of electricity through you, heightening your senses.

"Come sit on my lap," Aki breathed, his words carrying a subtle invitation that held a promise of pleasure, cigarette dangling sinfully from his lip.

Feeling your core boil with arousal at the mere prospect of that alone, you knew better than to keep him waiting. So carefully, gracefully, you followed his instruction. You positioned yourself over his lap, lowering yourself down until his thighs met the back of yours.

He slid his hands over the small of your back, pulling you closer until your hips were flush against his. You gasped, breath caught in your throat, as you looked at him up close.

He was breathtaking. He had sultry, downturned eyes with dark lashes that feathered over his pale skin. His dark hair was disheveled, frizzy, messy from the rain and your fingers. You were drawn to the pink, plush, pillow of his lips – the subtle curve of his cupid's bow.

He was showing a remarkable amount of self-restraint.

For a moment, you doubted yourself, doubted if all of this was real. If you really were in a hotel room right now, sitting on another man's lap while your husband waited at home – some few hours away.

But the puff of smoke he breathed out in your face was anything but a figment of the imagination, pulling a cough from your lungs. You could get high off of him alone – his scent, his taste.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" He mused, eyes scanning your flustered face.

Slowly, rather than awaiting an answer from you, he pulled the cigarette out from between his lips, popping it between yours.

You knew it was wrong.

But, still, you couldn't resist the temptation as you wrapped your lips around the stick and breathed in.

And you only coughed once, this time.

With a quiet laugh, he flicked the cigarette onto the floor below the two of you, smushing it into the carpet with the toe of his shoe. He was dangerous – just as drunk as you were, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

"Himeno told me to stay away from you," He smiled softly, slowly, like he was in a daze.

"You never have been good at listening, have you?" You teased. Your legs didn't touch the ground when they were thrown around him like this. He was so much bigger than you. "Why me? Why not someone your own age? Why not... I don't know... Himeno? She'd throw everything away for you."

Cupping a warm hand over your cheek, he pulled your face closer to his, breathing sin unto your lips, eyes burning holes into your soul.

"I don't want Himeno," Slowly, he leaned into you. His lips ghosted over yours, tempting you to breach the gap between the two of you – you submitted to his desires, allowing him to tilt your chin up and press your noses together. "I want you. More than I've ever wanted anything, I think – anyone."

His presence was intoxicating.

"And I've had my fair share," He mused. "You may have a few years on me, but I'm nowhere near as innocent as you think."

You shivered at his touch, which lingered at the base of your back. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," He spoke gently, voice teetering on the edge of a whisper, "But I know actions speak louder than words," His eyes, half-lidded and hazy, dropped down to your lips. "Want me to show you?"

"More than anything," You breathed.

He laughed softly, eyes creasing at the corners. "Think you can handle me?"

Ignoring the warmth that churned in your gut, you flipped the question around on him. "I could ask you the same thing," you teased again.

You were barking a lot for someone who was most definitely not going to bite.

"I know I can. And I will," Was his response. His thumb had begun toying with your lower lip, tugging on the soft pink skin like he was testing his limits. His eyes weren't on you as he spoke – they were trained on the flushed skin of your nose, the parted valley between your plush lips. "And I can tell you exactly how I plan on doing it."

"Tell me, then," you humored him.  You found yourself lost in this little game of cat-and-mouse that the two of you were playing, eyes dancing with desire.

He was close. So close, you could almost taste his lips as they hovered over yours.

"I'd lay you down real gently first... start kissing up and down your thighs," He purred. On cue, his thumb began to stroke the soft skin of your thigh. His eyes never left you, stirring up something you had never felt before. "Tease you 'till you're begging for me, dripping for me."

Your mouth was watering just thinking about it. Thinking about the way his lips would feel against your mouth, your neck, your thighs, your...

"Yeah?" You swallowed, suddenly feeling very small now that he was backing you into a corner like that. "Then what?"

"I'd eat you for dessert. Make you cum once for every time you walked away from me," His tone was absolute. You believed every word he was saying. "Wanna put those pretty legs of yours around my neck 'n fuck that attitude right out of you. You want that?"

"Mhm," You pleaded, mind a hazy mess. Your eyes practically had hearts in them.

This was going to be a very bad decision.

He smiled softly, though his words bore a sharp edge. "Not gonna run from me this time, are you?"

You felt your cheeks burn at his provocative inquiry, desperately trying to ignore the warmth that throbbed between your legs – a warmth that was pressing right up against him. Your words came as a quiet murmur into the small gap between your lips and his, "Promise."

And it was as if, for a brief moment, everything fit into place.

The air was charged with the weight of your words. A smile danced across his lips very briefly before he finally closed the gap between the two of you, lips meeting in a sinful dance that was gentle... at first.

His hands explored the low of your back, holding you by the curve of your waist and holding you close to him. He tasted like nicotine and mint, a flavor you wouldn't forget, tongue exploring you like he knew what would have you fiending for him.

The room seemed to fade away as you melted into him. There was no suite, no bed, no clothes between the two of you. In that moment, it was just you, him, and the dim light from the lamp on the dresser behind you.

He nipped playfully at your lower lip, a sensation that made your shudder against him. His touch on your back was warm, tender, possessive. You never wanted him to let you go.

He deepened the kiss ever-so-slightly. You responded in kind by moving your fingers from his shoulders to his neck, to his razor-sharp jaw. Up to his head, to tangle them into his topknot, to pull the hair tie out and let his hair fall down to his shoulders.

The kiss was slow, tantalizing, pulling you apart at the seams until you were begging for more.

He departed from your face to press kisses to your jaw. They were hot, wet, just enough to make you arch into his touch. He took your responsiveness as a sign to continue his onslaught, warm kisses cascading down the valley of your neck, pausing only when your lips parted to release a quiet whimper. His lips formed a light suction, tugging at your sweet spot until you were clawing at his back.

He huffed out a short laugh against your hot skin, "Getting sensitive already?"

You grumbled embarrassedly, keeping your face buried in the warm crook of his neck and breathing in more of that intoxicating scent of his.

Before you knew it, he stood up, hooking your legs around his waist. With a gasp, you threw your arms around his neck. He turned the two of you around. Slowly, he set your body onto the mattress, as if he were scared he would break you.

"Hayakawa," You breathed, allowing him to continue pressing kisses against your skin.

He chuckled, the sound surprisingly deep, "I thought we were past first-name basis."

"Aki," You repeated with the slightest smile.

"Mmh," He hummed, placing his lips over the junction between your neck and your clavicle and sucking on the sensitive skin. He paused – only briefly – to mutter, "Sounds pretty when you say it."

It was getting hard to focus; his words had become hazy, distant. All you could think of was the feeling of his mouth on your neck. The tight seal he had formed over it, touch blistering hot against the bare skin of your thighs.

"Mm... Aki," You sighed blissfully. Quietly, you hiked the hem of your dress a little further up your thighs, granting his curious hands access to a little more of you. In response, he sucked harshly on your neck.

It hurt so good. You arched up into him. "Aki," You whined. "Please."

In an instant, he pulled away, leaving you cold and vulnerable. He stood above you, an image of lust, cheeks dusted with rose, the same color he wore on his parted lips. His hair hung in his face, just barely obstructing his pretty eyes from you.

You wanted him to tie you down and command you, to tell you what you needed to do. You wanted him to dominate you until you didn't have another thought. You wanted all sorts of things that you knew you had no right to want.

"We can change it up, if you want, too," He purred, voice low and daring. "'Sir' works just fine."

"Mhm," You pleaded, mind a hazy mess.

"You like that better?" He smiled softly down at you, words bearing a sharp edge despite his outward appearance. "What do we say when we want something?"

"Yes, please," Your face burned with the heat of your embarrassment. You didn't care. You loved the feeling of giving up control for a moment, letting him take the reins. "...Sir."

The nickname made you flush with embarrassment.

"You know, I hear people call me that all the fucking time," He said, shaking his head. He walked towards the bed, kicking your legs open with his heel. He licked his lips, raking his hungry eyes over your trembling body. "But it never sounded as good as it does now, coming from you."

You were literally going to explode and melt into the carpet.

"Back that ass up on the bed. I want you to get yourself ready for me," He asked. His tone was so soft, so polite, that you almost mistook it as a question rather than a command. "Want you to show me how you wanna be pleased. Can you do that for me?"

You crawled back onto the bed, keeping your head down to shield yourself from his eyes, and gently running your hands up your smooth legs. "Okay," You breathed, words a notch below a whisper. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" He asked, watching you reach beneath your lacy black panties and collect some slick onto your fingers, reaching up to palm your tender breasts with the other hand. On the outside, he was composed, calm, as if he had been looking down at a stack of papers instead of you. You could see right through his disguise, a hungry animal clawing for release behind his pretty blue hues. He looked like he wanted to eat you up.

You knew what he wanted. You didn't keep him waiting.

"Yes, sir," You licked your lips.

For a moment, you relished in the way he melted at your words.

He sat on the edge of the bed to watch you, reaching up to loosen his tie. "So fuckin' perfect," He purred, voice a symphony of sin. "So well-behaved. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to see you like this."

His praise was turning you on like crazy. You shuddered, sliding a finger through your warmth and putting pressure on your aching bud. You rolled your thumb over your clit in a slow, steady, circular motion.

He looked like he had been hypnotized.

He crawled over you, caging you in, pressing a kiss to your neck. Then to your clavicle, then to your sternum, your ribs, your stomach...

"I want you so fucking badly," He murmurred against your skin. "I could devour you."

You whined, "Please."

He lowered himself down a little more, kisses trailing down a little further. Finally, he came back up for air, sealing your fate with an open-mouthed kiss.

His lips fit perfectly against yours, smearing your lipstick down your chin and across your face. It was Heaven. It was Hell. It felt like a daydream. It was raw, primal, borderlining on animalistic, but you would be lying if you claimed you weren't panting against him like a bitch in heat.

He shifted his knee between your thighs. It chafed against your sodden panties, eliciting a quiet whimper. It was so quiet that you had been foolish enough to hope he hadn't heard it.

"Fuck me," he panted. An idiom, of course, but at that point you would have taken him up on his offer. He glanced up at you, eyes dark and pupils dilated.

Without another word or a warning, he went in for your neck again, this time biting the flesh and sucking on it – right where he knew you liked it.

"Tell me to stop," He detached himself from your neck for a moment to groan at the sight of you, desperate for his touch. He was losing himself, you could tell. His breath trembled under the weight of his arousal. "Fuck, tell me to stop right now, or I won't be able to stop myself."

Aki rested his forehead against yours, practically panting against your face. "Tell me you don't want me the way I've been craving you."

You knew you should refuse him. You knew you had to. But for some inexplicable reason, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. To claim you didn't want any of this would have been lying to yourself. But at the same time, it wouldn't be right to cheat on your husband.

The same husband who had taken you away from your ambitions so early to hide you away behind his white-picket-fence dreams?

"I..." you paused. It was hard to think. The scent of his cologne combined with the feeling of his body pressed right up against yours was driving you up the fucking wall. Your head was getting foggy, and it wasn't long before you felt your resolve crumble. You snaked your hand around his tie, fiddling with it and bringing your eyes to meet his gaze.

"Do you take this man to be  your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, until death do you part?"

"I do."

He awaited your response, awestruck blue eyes glazing over with the haze of his own need. He never proceeded without your consent.

"I do," you finally admitted. "I want you."

You had never seen him like this before. He had lost his composure altogether. The man before you — shuddering against your body — was not the same man you thought you had known. He was depraved and sinful and a complete 180 from the Captain Hayakawa you'd been introduced to on the train — a man so calm and composed.

"What are you waiting for, then?" You dared to ask.

A mere two seconds later, he made you eat your words. He nudged your legs apart before smoothly slipping between them. He never once broke eye contact, not until he stopped to hoist your legs over his hip and slide you closer to him. He was right up against you at this angle, and you found yourself instinctively grinding your hips against his, desperately seeking some semblance of friction. It had been years since you were last touched like this.

He leaned back, undoing the rest of his shirt buttons. You held your breath as the fabric slid off of his broad shoulders, pooled at his knees on the bed. His skin revealed years of experience, chiseled physique marred with pink scars. His muscular arms tensed, rippling when he replaced his arms on either side of your head, caging you in.

Your mouth was practically watering at the sight of him. One night. One night wasn't nearly enough for you to do everything you wanted with him.

It seemed it wouldn't be enough for him, either. The moment he had wrangled the tie off of his neck and tossed it onto the sheets, his lips were back on yours.

His hands worked on your dress – one sliding gently beneath your back to tug the zipper down while the other peeled the straps off your shoulders. Once he had the dress pooled around your waist, he sat back, slipping it the rest of the way off of your legs. The sudden chill of the cold air against your now bare breasts, your stomach, your legs, made you shiver.

For a moment, you were staring up at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath. In a moment's width, he stepped between your legs and ran his hands up and down your exposed legs. They stopped around your hips. His eyes traced the curves of your body right down to the heat between your thighs.

"You look divine," He hummed, stopping to just stand there and take you all in. He wasted no time in tracing his thumb over the damp fabric at the apex of your heat, "I'm gonna take these off, okay?"

Then he was pulling them down, away from your warmth, down your legs, over your toes – he tossed them behind him. Hooking one of your legs over his shoulder, he asked you, "Ready, baby?"

"Yeah," You giggled. There was another man between your legs, and you were giggling, "Ready as I'll ever– Oh!"

During your attempt to humble yourself, Aki slid his middle finger inside of you. He curled it upward, feeling around you in a way that had you keening for more. In another movement, the finger was gone, leaving you feeling empty and needing more.

You raised your head off of the bed, resting your weight on your elbows while you struggled to get a good look at him.

He brought his finger up to his mouth and then licked it clean. "So sensitive," He hummed in satisfaction, hardly giving you any time to recover before teasing it over your entrance. "Poor thing. Trembling after just one finger. I wonder if you'll even be able to hold up long enough for me to eat you out."

You were embarrassed, oddly enough, and dropped your head down to cover your face with your hands. He couldn't be real. There was no way this was real. It was too good to be true.

"Fuck, " you stammered. It was getting hard to form coherent sentences when he was teasing you so languidly. "It's been a while– hah–"

Aki dipped his finger into your waters, sucking in a sharp breath at the way you gripped him. He was only one knuckle deep. All things considered, his fingers were pretty long.

"I wonder how much you can take, hmm?" He teased, pressing them further into your heat, massaging your walls, fucking you open slowly.

You raised a worried brow at him. "What do you–" Your sentence was broken by a startled gasp as he bent down, ran his flattened tongue across your cunt. "Oh fuck, Aki."

"That's not my name, is'it?" Aki groaned, although the sound was muffled due to the fact that he was buried nose-deep in your pussy. From here, you couldn't see much more than the crown of his head, the black locks that brushed over his face.

He sucked gently on your clit, a sensation that made you arch your back off of the bed. His tongue was long and pointed, and was just the right size to slide sinfully into you like it was meant to be there all along.

"Ah! Sir, please, I–" You pleaded with the man. Your hand found its way to his head, gripping his inky locks like your life depended on it. In a matter of seconds, he had single handedly reduced you to a babbling mess. "Mnnnh-"

He was answered with a gasp and a desperate rut of your hips against his mouth, against the vibrations of his satisfied hums, and did nothing to stop you. Instead, he allowed you to shamelessly ride his face.  Your legs clamped shut around his ears. He huffed a satisfied little laugh before prying them apart and continuing to make a ruin of you.

Although he had to pull away for some air – replacing his tongue with two digits – he continued lapping at your clit. He ate you up like he was a starving man, obscene sucking and slurping noises filling the room soon thereafter.

You could hardly breathe, but fuck, you wouldn't mind dying like this: with a pretty Devil Hunter squished between your thighs, your juices smearing all over his face while you forced his tongue deeper inside.

"Fuck," he breathed, and you knew he shared the sentiment. "You're purring like a fuckin' kitten for me."

You pulled his hair, and were shocked to find him arching into it. One more experimental tug, and you knew you hadn't been hallucinating. The sinful little moan he let slip out was by no means a coincidence. You wanted to comment on it, but what came out after he slipped a third finger in and curled it up against your sweet spot was a string of broken moans. "Please!"

"Please what?" He paused his desperate licking to ask. His fingers never stopped, plunging themselves deeper within you and curling up against that spot he knew drove you crazy. He was in perfect tune with the rhythm of your body. Every arch, buck, or stutter of your hips spurred him on. Teasingly, he rubbed your sweet spot with his fingers. "You want more, pretty mama?"

His fingers were so long – so much larger than yours, than your husbands, even, and you felt your eyes rolling into the back of your head before you knew any better.

The coil in your gut was drawing tighter and tighter. He was reaching deep inside of you and undoing you from the inside out like the lace strands of a tightly wound corset. You wanted more. No, fuck, you needed more. But in all honesty, you weren't sure you could take any more. If he got any more creative, you would undoubtedly end this fantasy too early. The brutal pace of his long, slender fingers was making your mind go blissfully blank, slurred words and broken moans pouring out of your mouth a mile a minute as you struggled to hold on.

Aki kissed his way back down to your thighs. In a moment's width, his tongue had joined his fingers once more in making a mess of you.

You gasped. "Fuck, please, 'm gonna cum."

His lips departed from your dripping wet pussy, but only to roughly slide your ass closer to his face. Then, completely disregarding your previous pleas, he quickened his pace. His hair was beyond disheveled, tangled in your fist while the rest hung, dampened with sweat, around his face. "Beg for me again," He groaned, the sound muffled by your trembling thighs. You were shaking like a leaf in an autumn breeze and he was relishing in it. "Keep begging for me just like that, baby."

"Please..." You gasped. You yanked his hair, and then trapped his head between your thighs. The moans – increasing in pitch – were falling out of your mouth uncontrollably now.

Call me the Phantom of the Opera. He had taken you past the point of no return, to the point where broken pleas of his name were the only thing coming from your lips. "Please, sir–"

Aki moaned against your clit, drunk off of the taste of you.

What would your husband think? What would he think if he knew that his wife was letting herself be devoured by a man in uniform (well, he was out of uniform now.) – begging for his fingers, his mouth.

He gasped at the sensation of your fingers gripping his tresses. Your guts were clenching around his tongue like you wanted more.

The sheer power this man had over you was near absurd. In a span of a few hours, he had gotten you to completely abandon your morals. Not only that, but he had you rocking your hips back on his fingers like a desperate whore, chasing that sweet sweet release you so desperately craved. But you couldn't. Something in the back of your head – the more sensible voice, undoubtedly – refused to allow you such satisfaction.

When you slapped your hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet, he grabbed your wrists, pinning them to the bed above your head. He reached for the tie at his foot, pulling it taut, then using it to bind your wrists together.

Fuck me.

"Much better," He tutted, glancing at you with such feverish hunger that it made you squirm. "Let me see that pretty face. Tell me who's making you feel good, baby."

You needed to stop this before it was too late. Desperately, you stumbled to find the right words. What came out, whatever, was a broken cry of  "You."

"Who's You?" He hummed.

It slipped out. Truly, you had never intended to let it slip. Yet, still, when his fingers curled up against a particularly sensitive spot with all of the ease of a harpist plucking at the strings of your core, your lips spilled praise of his name, digging your nails into the skin of your palms, "Aki–!"

"That's it. Such a good girl for me." He knew it would only be a matter of time before he got what he wanted from you, so he removed his lips from your clit, allowing his fingers to work you open while he smiled breathlessly – an obscene mix of your juices and his spit glistening as it ran down his chin. "G'nna cum for me?"

"Wait– no," You gasped. "I–"

"What's the matter?" He asked. The drag of each of his knuckles against your hypersensitive walls as he fucked you – albeit much gentler than before, as if easing you down from your high – made you clench around him, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," You panted. Not knowing how else to sugar coat the words – and being, frankly, too exhausted for formalities, you cut to the chase. "I need you to fuck me, Aki."

He froze suddenly, wild eyes peering into yours like he thought you would never ask. "Yeah?" He replied, breathless. "Right now?"

"Please, sir..." You teased him. "You won't keep a needy woman waiting, will you?"

He slid his fingers out of you slowly, savoring the way you clenched around them one last time before pulling out. He sucked the slick of your arousal off of his fingers. God, you would never forget how he looked right now. His face was messy, as was his hair. His eyes, wild with hunger, never broke contact with yours while he lapped up your juices like they were fresh fucking honey.

"Wouldn't dream of it," He shuddered, pushing himself onto his knees and then reaching for the buckle of his pants. You knew where this was going, yet you didn't stop him. "Thought you'd wanna take it slow, is all."

You grinned, sitting up just enough to slide your bound hands over his thighs, over the prominent tent in his black slacks, "How about you think about taking these off."

He huffed out a laugh, but removed his hands, allowing you to fiddle with the buckle of his belt until it came undone, allow you to pause for a moment – peering up at him with nothing but the purest form of adoration – before pulling them down with his boxers.

It was a real talent, being able to do that with your hands tied.

His body was the image of perfection – lean, sharp-cut, with washboard abs. To top it all off, he was big. By far the biggest you'd been with thus far.

I knew he was hiding something, You traced your finger mindlessly over his navel. The man twitched beneath your touch.

When you grazed your knuckles over his erection, he let out a pent-up gasp that turned into a breathy chuckle. "Ah, fuck– hah."

"Do you..." He trailed off, "Do you have protection?"

You thought back to the grocery store, when you had passed the wall of condoms and thought to yourself, There's no way I'll be needing those anytime soon.

And you mentally kicked yourself.

"No," You sighed. "But it's okay, I'm on birth control."

You said nothing more. There was nothing left to be said. Instead, you threw your tied wrists over his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. There was something different about it, this time, as he positioned himself over you – something far more serious. This was really happening.

He pressed a kiss to your neck, to the shell of your ear, "Tap me if it hurts, okay?"

You nodded, bracing for the worst. You could feel him throbbing against your entrance, gathering slick onto the head of his dick like he was trying to prepare himself.

Then, without another warning, the tip pushed in, and you gasped – wrapping your legs around his back on instinct. There was only the slightest amount of restriction before the new angle had him slipping the rest of the way inside.

"Easy, baby," He warned you, not even daring to move. He gave you a moment to adjust to him, even if you know the temptation was chewing him up inside. "Easy."

Once he was fully seated inside of you – leaving you feeling deliciously full, the both of you sighed in tandem, pressing your sweaty foreheads together.

After a moment of recollection, he looked down at you inquisitively, as if to say, 'Can I move?'

You nodded slowly, nerves still on fire with the ache of having him in you – the stretch of it all. But the moment he drew his hips back ever-so-slightly, and then slid back in, you felt it begin to subside. The pain was replaced with a pleasure so warm that it made your legs tremble.

If this is wrong, you thought to yourself, gasping as he repeated the shallow thrust a few more times. Why does it feel so good?

The forbidden fruit in question squeezed his eyes shut on top of you, forehead wrinkled, pretty, swollen lips parted to release the most delicious groan of, "Shittt–"

You could feel him. All of him. You ached at the sensation of him splitting you open so suddenly, pussy clenching down on him for dear life. You could feel the way his length stretched your walls, the tantalizing burn bringing your eyes to a water while you threw your head back.

"Aki," You sighed weakly.

"I'm here," He replied. "I got you."

Then he was slipping in a little deeper, thrusting a little harder, sheathing his dick in the entirety of your warmth. You tried without success to wrangle your hands out of their confines, eventually settling for digging your nails into the skin on his back.

"Fu-uck," He sighed, like he had been waiting his whole life to be buried so deep inside of you. He leaned forward, into the temptation of your soft body, rolling his hips downward. "Feels so fuckin' good, baby."

"Mmmh," You laid your cheek on the bed. You felt your eyes roll back when he slid even deeper into you – You could feel him deep in your guts.

This is bliss, you thought.

Then, suddenly, he leaned back, pulling your hips flush against his abs while he thrust into you. The new angle had you trembling, gasping as you fumbled for his hand (again, in vain, as you were bound). You could do nothing but wrap your arms around him, curl your toes, press kisses onto his shoulders and the back of his neck.

Your mind was blank, legs trembling, chest heaving.

"Yes–" you breathed, gripping onto his thigh for support. With him moving so deep inside of you, it was hard to think about anything else but him. "Fuck, right there."

He rolled his hips into you, the new motion sending stars shooting behind your eyelids. Before you could even make sense of what you were feeling, you arched into his touch.

He laughed – though it was something between a chuckle and a groan – as he pressed a kiss to the crook of your neck. His hand slid up the front of your torso, up over the curve of your breasts and pressed into your throat, holding you still while he fucked into you good and hard.

He pulled back to look at you, to really look at you, deep blue hues raking over your bare skin, over your curves and edges and imperfections.

You wished you could paint him like this, burn the image of him into your head so that, upon your return home, you would never forget about him, about this night.

He looked prettier than sin.

He pushed in again, and you gasped, clawing at his back desperately. Your heart was racing a mile a minute – any moment now, it felt as if it would explode. Your stomach did somersaults, face burning up.

His palms slid over the back of your thighs. He gripped them, throwing your legs over his shoulders. Then he leaned over, pressing into you until your legs were pinned against the sides of your head. His hips drove into you, deeper this time, like his life depended on it – like he would die if he pulled out.

Over, and over, and over again.

"Fuck me!" You cried. Your grip on his shoulders was unwavering, nails biting into his skin and dragging down with every thrust.

He licked his lips with a deep, guttural moan that went right to your core. "So good. Shit– so fuckin' good."

It felt so mind-bogglingly good. You didn't even know how to make sense of it. Your mind was so full of him – as you were, quite literally – that you couldn't think of anyone else.

"Too much, too much," You panted. Still, you did nothing to stop him. It hurt real good, made your back arch off of the bed. "Fuck, 's good–"

And your words seemed to spur him on, pinning your legs down while he pounded you into the bed. You could do nothing but scream for him, cry for him, beg for more with drunken, mindless babbles.

He leaned down, soft hair tickling your face, and licked your lips. You opened up for him immediately, tongue slipping against his.

You weren't only imagining the feeling of him massaging your g-spot, driving his hips deeper and deeper until your voice was hoarse from all of the screaming. It was real.

He pulled away from you to breathe, and he didn't even seem to care that you were scraping his back red. His brows were drawn close together, eyes squeezed shut like it was taking everything he had not to cum.

He gripped you by your chin, fingers digging into your cheeks, and turned your attention back to him.

"F-Fuck, Fuck," You whined, head dropping back onto the pillow.

"Taking me so well," He moaned, pulling away to sit back on his knees, using your legs to drag you closer to him. Though he was speaking to you, his eyes never left the junction between your body and his – the place where he disappeared inside of you over and over and fucking over again.

He sat you upright in his lap, throwing your legs around his waist. From there, he gripped the meat of your ass, thrusting up into you from a new angle.

You practically sobbed for him, gasping and heaving like a wild animal.

"Oh, God, I've done it," You cried out against his lips, "I can't turn back now. You're all I've got left."

"Yes," He answered, pitch teetering on a whine.

"You murdered my happiness– our happiness," You added, breathlessly, of course. "This is the end of everything, isn't it? Murderer."

"You are my happiness," He panted, licking a stripe from your clavicle to your jaw.

"Oh, fuck–" You arched your back, eyes rolling with bliss. "Murderer–" You moaned, "Murderer!"

The knot in your stomach was about to snap. You could feel it.

"Murderer!"

"Yes–" He breathed.

You were gasping for air, gasping into his mouth in between those sinful, messy, open-mouthed kisses. You didn't know what to focus on – it was all too much. Your arms, bound behind his back, prohibited you from holding him close.

"Don't stop–"

"I won't."

Still, the sensation of him having your whole life in his hands...

It was something you never would have entrusted your husband with.

You tangled your fist in his hair to the best of your ability.

"Ah–!" He whimpered – it seemed as if he wouldn't be far behind you in your journey, "Fuck, yes!"

"Don't stop," You cried, gripping his shoulders a little harder and gasping into his mouth. You bounced on his lap, meeting his thrusts to the best of your ability, desperately chasing after the second release you desperately sought. "Mur– Mmh, Aki– fuck– cumming!"

All it took was a few more thrusts, a few more kisses to your sore lips, and you were toppling off the edge.

And you came. Came so hard you saw stars, so hard your vision blacked out for a moment. You could feel your walls spasming and contracting around him like they never wanted to let him go.

You could tell he was close by the way he was breathing – his chest rose and fell rapidly, and his breath trembled as he continued to fuck you through it.

He made the prettiest noises when he was close – the deep, velvety groans had grown into breathy, high-pitched 'ah's and 'hah's. You tried to commit them to memory.

"You feel so fuckin' good inside 'a me," You whined,

His hips stuttered the moment the words left your lips, like you had pushed him that much close to the edge.

"So perfect," He cried, thrusts slowing slightly. He squeezed his eyes shut, licking his lips, and then diving in for another kiss. He panted into your mouth, "Makin' me feel so fuckin' good, shit."

You gripped his warm face in your hands, forcing him to look up at you. Every time your abused clit would drag against his navel, you saw colors.

"Cum for me," You told him. "Sir, Please, Cum for me. I need it."

That was all that it took. Not a second later, he faltered, burying his head in the crook of your neck while his hips stuttered. A long, drawn out whine of your name left his lips, then he did it. It was a burst of warmth inside of you, a searing, white-hot pleasure as he emptied himself inside.

"So perfect," He murmured weakly against your lips, rolling into you – slowly – a few more times before stilling completely.

In the few years you had been with your husband, you had never felt so close to another human being – so close as you were with Aki in that moment.

You kissed him with every bit of strength you had left (which wasn't a lot). He hummed, still sensitive, grabbing you by the jaw to deepen the kiss. They were different from the ones previously shared – held a different emotion, a different meaning.

It was a meaning you weren't sure you wanted to know. It was dangerous.

It was everything. Everything you'd been wanting. Everything you'd needed.

He was everything you needed. So, then, why did it feel so wrong?

I really just did that, you told yourself. The obscene mix of your juices and his leaking out of you was a testament to that.

You had officially, without a fragment of a doubt (no excuses this time), cheated on your husband.

a/n: ARRRGGRGAGAGRGR GRAAHHHH RAHHH RAHGRGAHR GAR... sorry. can yall tell im feral for aki. omg ive never written smut this detailed (i think) so i really tried to step out of my comfort zone (but go read my other shit if u like the way my smut reads teehee). as you can see the description of aki got a little out of hand. in my defense, i was ovulating and it was 3am.... anyway! i hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. the "murderer!" part was in the anna karenina movie, and at first i kinda debated whether or not i should leave it in, but eventually i was like man fuck it i think its sexy idc idc. ofc it probably plays out better in a period drama than it does in a chainsaw man fanfic but i digress. talk to me yall! Lmk what yall thought, what yall want to see, and what you think is gonna go down -- say hi, wtv.  question of the day: i just thrifted some books today. have yall seen/read the phantom of the opera? if so, would you have picked the phantom or Raoul? For me? The Phantom. in a heartbeat, too, and shamelessly. Take care and drink lots of water. muah x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[lustlovehart]

I usually struggle with writing/commenting on anything, but I gotta. The monster!AU, that Malleus piece? Fucking gold. I absolutely loved it. I don't know how often I reread it. Likely seriously. It's so good. I love your writing style, I love how you portrait Malleus as absolutely infatuated but still as a (powerful) monster who, well, does monster things. En mass, since he's so powerful.

I'd love to see more of the Monster!AU (especially Diasomnia, I'm a sucker for them), but I also just wanna say I'm gonna read whatever you post anyway.

Love your work, I hope you're doing well and have a fun spooky month ahead of you!

People really reread my stuff that much?!?! IM HONORED.

Honestly, I really thought the Malleus piece would only get like, 100 notes as it was on the older side. I did go back and add more to it though, so that might be why it got more traction than expected 😭.

My writing style for Monster!Twst is basically just a constant, “How do I make it sound romantic enough for everyone to understand their interest“ and “how do I make them crazy murderers?“

Malleus and Readers dance was probably one of my favorite ways to show it! (There was also something simialr to it in the Incubus!Vil piece, but its a bit more subtle compared to Malleus. This next paragraph is just gonna be me blabbing about Hard Stoned Gallery Dance guys!)

I tried to show MH!Darling’s lack of awaraness of the danger he imposes in the dance! Throughout the whole thing they’re sloppy, essentially relaxed as each step they take is messy, but still lands where they’re meant to. Menwhile, in the complete opposite of the spectrum is Malleus, who is quite literally serandaing you with praise and kisses, while performing the dance with perfection.

It shows how oblivous reader can be about the danger they let run rampant into the world, and said danger lovingly holding them in his arms.

Until you smell the foul stentch, and the disposition changes immediately. You become rigid with worry, while Malleus’s gentle grip becomes harsh, movments becoming swift amd sharp with no time to reciporocate.

I’m sorry about that ramble, but i wanted to gush about the one part I liked about the fic (≧◡≦) ♡

Don’t worry! Ive stated before there will be a lot more Monster!Twst to come, especially with it being halloween season (￣▽￣) (I have like 3 requests for the Au, The Heartslaybul chapter, and one extra post with a potential thought of Fellow and Skully!)

Speaking of Diasmonia, all the dorms play a heavy part in the story, but! They’re actually a bit more of special case! similar to the actually storyline in twst, I wanted to make it so Diasmonia was basically a mystery factor within the plot, so, they may or may not be some parts where they’re mentioned, or possibly, even there...!

Whether you read only Monster!Twst or my other stuff, i’m happy you spend time out of your day enjoying my writing! Thank you for your kinds words, and I hope you have a very sppoky october too!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

[ginsengkitten]

༺ Beautiful Dangerous ༻

༺☆༻

Chapter Eleven

Written in Plain Sight

A/N:

Tysm for your patience with this one. May is a difficult month for me for personal reasons. I’m still writing and I’m so excited for you guys see where this heads. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Dear Slash,

Im sorry I didn't write you sooner. Things have been a little crazy since I got home. Well, not home actually. My parents have turned me in to this special all girls Christian school that specializes in "troubled young women". Apparently they can legally do that even though I've just turned 18! I never agreed to it, they just left me here. In the middle of nowhere- with these weird nuns. They haven't told me how often mail is sent out so I'm not sure how often I'll write, but I promise I will.

I'm sorry how I left things. I didn't know they were coming to take me home. I tried to say goodbye but they gave me no chance. Please forgive me. This summer was the best time of my whole life. Because I met you.

I know letters are a little prehistoric these days, but I've no access to a phone here. Again, I promise to write often. I'll call you as soon as I'm out.

Love, Foxey.

-

Dear Slash,

I'm not sure if you are receiving my letters. If you are and just don't want to speak to me, I understand that. I know mail can take a while... anyways. I figured writing to you helps me pass the time here. This place is awful. It's been 2 weeks of hell. I was forced to detox from everything. It's been so hard. I hardly sleep at night. But when I do, I am so happy because I dream of you. I also daydream a lot. It helps me get through the day. The days are long and boring. There's not really a curriculum here. Even though they call it a school. The nuns are mean. They took away all my clothing and I have to wear a white dress everyday and every night. It's cold and uncomfortable. Each day consists of the same thing. They wake you up at 6 am every fucking morning. It's barely light out. Then you have to clean your room. If you can only eat breakfast if you pass morning room inspection. I've failed 5 times so far...

Anyways. Sorry. I don't mean to complain to you. I don't have anything exciting to write about. I hope you have having very exciting experiences in LA still. Please write me when you can... I want to know how you are!

Love, Foxey

-

Slash,

Today was horrible. Just horrible. I'm sorry to write you only my miseries, but it feels like that's all I have left lately. Turns out, if you don't comply with every single whim and precision- even making the wrong face, or the tone of your voice, the nuns will be violent with you. They carry rulers, books and at times, even their bare hands- are weapons. I can't exactly remember what I did first to step out of line, all I remember was sister Agatha (she's a total bitch) slapping me so hard across the face, the stinging lasted for hours. I cried a little but only in private. I don't think I want to let them see me cry. I don't want them to know they have that power!

I still wait for your reply. I hope you are well.

Love, Foxey.

-

Hi There,

It's been a while. Sorry for that. I don't have much different to say to you. Or much at all. I think I get your message from your silence. If it all meant nothing to you after all, then so be it. I think maybe I belong here anyways. It's best for everyone. I want to let you know it really hurts me to accept that you are done with me. With us. Just like that. But I respect your decision- even if it's shitty. Maybe that's all rockstars are is shitty. So there. You're shitty and I wish we never met. I hope you're happy.

Best of luck with everything. I love you.

Y/N.

-

And just like that. It was over. The silence from Slash over the past two months was only an added pain to the hell you already endured. For your own sanity, hope was crushing you and you had to give it up. Your parents had called once, but the nuns ensured you weren’t telling them the truth of what it was like there. As quickly as it all unraveled, you sank into your new reality. Pushing out thoughts of escape as the former attempts were futile and had only ended in harsher and harsher punishment .

It was colder now into early November. Other girls had come and gone periodically, none staying long enough for it to be worth harboring any sort of relationship. You spent your days in the day room, a dim, sulky living room type space in the center of the building. Empty tables with broken chess pieces and puzzles with missing pieces scattered. You took throne to an old green chair by the large window.

One person you had managed to form any sort of connection with was the oldest nun in the practice, Sister Graham. She seemed worn down and tired of it all, due to her age, and lack of violence and stern, she’d been demoted down to a secretarial duty. She’d find reasons to come and talk to you when she could. Small but meaningful conversations. The two of you formed a secret bond of hatred for this place. A mutual understanding that this was all that was left for both of you. She’d share bits of her life before she became a nun. She had been sent away at the age of 16 after running away from an arranged marriage to a man 20 years her senior at the time. You felt sad for her, sorry for her, confused as to why she remained here. You told her about your past, how you ended up there. You even opened up to her about Slash and the magical summer you had. She seemed to appreciate the glimmer that became of you when you spoke of it all. Like she understood what it meant to feel young and in love. What it felt like to feel misunderstood and suffocated by the normalcy of the world. She made you feel special amidst it all. And then, one day, she was gone. You waited all week for her to show.

You prodded at nuns all morning as to where she was, “did she die?” “Did she retire?” “Is she sick?” You skipped around. Each question was met with harsh and rude snaps of silence and threatening looks. The confusion and hurt flatlined you again. Back to nothingness. You shifted in bed, staring at the ceiling, images of Slash, summer, everything, bleeding through your mind like a movie. The anger of his silence, the hurt, the betrayal, all of it stung within you so badly. Allowing it to get to you, you angrily chuck your pillow to the other side of the room with a frustrated sob. Feathers bust out of the pillow, completely ruining it. You came to your senses quickly with regret and knelt over the pillow to pick up the discarded feathers. You hadn’t changed your pillow case this week, and now you’ve broken the pillow altogether. Great. It was sure you’d get punished for this in the morning. Your hand brushes against a piece of paper as you sift through the feathers. That’s odd- where did this come from? You pick it up and it appears to be a small folded note. You take a precautious look at your door before unfolding it.

“R. 308

Nov. 21. 8pm to west wing parking lot.”

What the hell? You don’t recall writing this down. This was clearly stuffed in your pillow case. When? Why? What does it mean? Did someone put this here? Your heart beat with confusion, apprehensive to feel any sort of excitement at fear of being disappointed again. It was late, and there was seldom to do with this new information except to sleep on it. So you did.

Surely enough, as you had predicted, the nuns took notice of your destroyed pillow and sentenced you to janitorial duties for the entire day. You scrubbed away at the hallway at the end of the wing. Dragging your bucket of dirty water like a gross companion. You grumbled to yourself as you mopped. Suddenly a sister enters the hallway from out of a room and almost slips on the fresh wet floor. She gives a stabbing glare.

“Well hurry it up and get it finished so you’re not such a hazard girl.” She snarks as she walks away. You want to bark back but you know better. The room she had left was left cracked. You stared at the door with curiosity before noticing the room number plaque before you .

“Room 308”.

Wait a minute. R308? Like the note? You take yet another precautious glance behind you to the empty hall to ensure no one would see you now sneak yourself into the room.

Surely there’s something of importance in here? It appeared to be some sort of administrative office. Piles of papers decorated the entire room. You strolled around carefully eying everything. This is a mail room, this is all mail? This is all patient mail, no? It is. How interesting? Why’s there so much in here? Your eyes scan and roll over a large stack prominently sticking out of a box on the desk. You recognize the stationary and realize it to be some of your own letters to slash. What the hell? You start shuffling through the box in a greater panic and confusion. These were all supposed to be sent out, sent to Slash! Were none of them ever mailed?! Your heart dropped to your stomach and your chest tightened.

You wanted to stay longer, to further examine and investigate this, but the reality was clear. No letters written had been sent to anyone. They lied. You hurriedly skimmed through the pile to see if any had come in from Slash but you only saw the ones you wrote. All of them opened too. They’ve just been reading them and keeping them….

Before you could sulk, you quietly exited the room to ensure no one saw you sneaking in there. Clearly you were not supposed to know this. Rage, Hurt, Confusion, coiled inside you once more. All this time? Out of all the emotions rushing through you at that moment, the scariest one was now hope. Hope again filtered into you. Maybe Slash had never ignored you. Maybe he just didn’t know where to write!

After returning to your room that evening, you re read the obscure note once more.

“Nov 21”

That’s tomorrow. Nov 21st is tomorrow. Someone wants me to go to the west parking lot at 8pm tomorrow. But who? And why?

[dirtysvthoughts]

𝓟 𝓡 𝓘 𝓥 𝓐 𝓣 𝓔 𝓓 𝓐 𝓝 𝓒 𝓔 𝓡 - CHAPTER THREE

pairing: prospective club owner! joshua x stripper! reader

word count: 2.2k

general tags/warnings: smut, pwp, worldbuilding before the dirty stuff (be patient 😉), female! reader, mildly cocky! shua, dom! shua, power play/brat! reader, full nudity for reader, use of pet names (love, baby, sweetheart), shua tries to get reader to fall for him but to no avail (or yes avail?)

playlist songs: special affair - the internet, give me head - sweet the kid, na na - trey songz

notes: chapter 3 baybeeeee! sorry this took so long, but it’s finally here! i’m gonna start working on chapter 4 and that should be done vv soon! hope you enjoy besties!

taglist: @im-gemmy @enhacolor @hooniewnderland @svtup @kawaiikels @weeevrse @diorsfxck @kyexvly @woozarts @ifuckcheol @marsstarxhwa @haoxiaoba

“and i’m telling you, i don’t need any help, take your service elsewhere,” your boss, mia, says over the phone, curtly hanging it up afterwards. “fucking nuisance,” she mumbles under her breath as you enter her office.

“somethin’ happen?” you say as you shut the door behind you, away from prying eyes and listening ears.

“shouldn’t you be getting ready, sage?” mia says not even looking in your direction, fiddling with whatever paperwork is in front of her.

you roll your eyes, “it’s 5 PM, i only came here early to practice my new routine. plus, i needed to ask you something, but then i overheard you. you know i’m one of the few people you actually trust here. so seriously, what was that all about?”

she stops messing with the papers and finally directs her eyes towards you, breathing a heavy sigh. “okay, so you know the club has a few more debt payments before i can solely own this place right? well, this man i was on the phone with can more than likely wipe away the rest of the debt with a snap of a finger.”

“so if he can do that, why would you tell him to fuck off? i don’t get it.”

“because he wants to own majority of the business! all of the creative decisions, finances, even down to the dancers’ employment would be his decision. i’m not doing that! i’ve worked way too hard to get to where illusion is today. and do you know how many strip club owners are women? not a whole lot. this is my pride.”

you both sit in a minute of silence, her words repeating in your mind. she was right, so much went into this club and those who weren’t on the pole proved that a club could run without a man’s help or approval. and you knew your boss wasn’t desperate enough to give in just yet.

“well no one but you is gonna run club illusion. fuck another owner or a co-owner,” you firmly say as mia shakes her head and smiles, now directing her attention at her desktop, moving her mouse around.

“why do i like you so much, sage?”

“i dunno, i guess i have that effect on people,” you smile as you push your hair back, opening the door so you could start getting ready.

“by the way,” you say with one foot out the door, “what was the guy’s name?”

“somethin’ hong, i kept forgetting the name, why? does it ring a bell?”

“nah, just wanna have a name in mind just in case he shows up, you know they like doing that.”

“well let’s hope not,” she groans as she stretches her arms out. “i really don’t need the extra stress - i can already tell tonight’s gonna be extra for no reason.”

and crazy enough, your boss was right. security had to break up two fights, one of the dancers ended up getting sent home (she was overly drunk), and a bartender ended up quitting - all in the span of four hours.

you look at the clock on the wall, readjusting your bodysuit straps and making sure your makeup was still intact. it was finally midnight, which hopefully meant the rest of the night would be better until it was time for the club to close.

“crazy ass night huh?” your closest friend and fellow dancer, hana (also known as chardonnay) approaches you. she finds her makeup kit and grabs a brush, dolling up her face.

“who are you tellin? and it’s only thursday! if heads into the weekend,” you say but hana finishes your thoughts.

“oh hello no, do not manifest that energy. this weekend can be busy, but not crazy,” she puts her kit back in her corner and checks herself out.

min then walks into the dressing room, hastily scanning the area for one person. “hana!” she calls out, slightly panicking. “you have a whole party waiting for you and you’re talking in the dressing room?”

“i know min, i just had to make sure i was ready, sheesh,” hana rolls her eyes. “gimme five and i’ll be out. they can wait.”

“you better hurry up,” min says walking away, “mia already has had to deal with a lot of shit and i’m pretty sure the last thing she wants to deal with is y’all acting out.” she closes the door behind her and the music becomes muffled again.

“lemme head out there before even more hell gets raised,” hana sighs as she switches her clear heels for her champagne-colored ones. “i guess i’ll see you out there in a bit.” she and a few others leave the room, leaving the space nearly empty.

——

after checking yourself out, you finally head back on to the scene, deciding to walk around and look for clientele since you already performed on the main stage for tonight.

as you get deeper into the center, you notice a figure at one of the small, standing tables. intrigued, you walked closer and your body can’t deny it’s reaction when you see how handsome he is. his dress white shirt had a few buttons opened, his black hair styled to where not all of it was in his face, and his eyes? oh you felt like you could melt in them.

when you finally get close enough, you place your hand on his shoulder and he looks up at you, putting his glass of whiskey down. “hey there,” you smile flirty at him, and he responds by smiling back at you.

“hey beautiful,” he says in the most soft, yet incredibly sexy tone. “i haven’t seen you around before, are you new here?”

“oh, so you’ve been here before,” you say going to the opposite side of the table, your eyes not leaving is. “that’s interesting, considering i’ve never seen you, i practically have a sixth sense when it comes to this place.”

“mmm, different days, different times, maybe,” he picks up his glass and takes a sip and when he puts it down, you reach for his hand and take hold of it.

“well that can’t stop us from getting to know each other better,” you rub his hands softly. “what’s your name?”

“hong. joshua hong, to be more specific,” he says. “and yours?”

you try to keep a poker face, but you fail drastically as your expression changes. “hong?” you think to yourself. “hong.. why does it sound so familiar?”

you mind then recalls the conversation with mia, and you slowly remove your hand from his. “w-wait a minute, hong? are you a club owner or something?”

“actually i am, how did-” you interrupt him by scoffing and shaking your head, not believing what could’ve happened.

“no fucking way.. you’re the man that called my boss earlier today weren’t you? about wanting to own this place?”

“yeah, that was me,” he says with all the pride he can muster and it made you a little annoyed. “this place has so much potential, and it’s becoming one of the most popular clubs in the area. with my help, it can reach that and more! everyone would benefit.”

“look, hong - whoever you are, this club is doing fine. mia didn’t need a savior before and she doesn’t need one now, especially from some cocky motherfucker who he thinks he can change everything just by walking into the room.” you walk away ready to find another customer, but he comes in front of and stops you.

“you’re bold as hell.. i love that in a partner,” joshus says grinning as he begins to kiss the side of your neck teasingly, his lips feeling like a soft pillow. your body and your mind are now drastically confused. yes, he was trying to take over the club and you didn’t want that, but you couldn’t deny your physical attraction to him either.

after a few more seconds, joshua pulls away and smirks at you, clearly enjoying the fact that you were starting to break down your walls. he takes something out of his pocket and slides it into your hand, and when you feel it - it’s a thick wad of cash.

“let’s go upstairs baby,” joshua says as he pulls you towards him, having you lead the way. watching your surroundings, you firmly grab his hand and you lead him to the vip rooms, walking up the steps and then finding the closest, empty room.

unable to hold back anymore (and away from any other eyes), you sharply pull him closer to you and smash your mouth against his, hands roaming his hair as he walks backwards. when he reaches the edge of the couch, joshua gently sits down and pulls you onto his lap, his hands now palming your ass. you lowly moan at the feeling as you begin to roll your hips into him, his touches becoming more firmer as he squeezes your cheeks.

“you couldn’t resist me, could you?” joshua laughs to himself. “just a second ago you were telling me off, and now you’re like putty in my hands.”

“fuck you,” you moan out when he starts playing with the crotch of your bodysuit, dragging two fingers over the cloth. he continues the motion until he can start to feel a familiar dampness.

“awww cute, you wanna fuck me,” he gloats, dragging his fingers into your bodysuit, playing with your inside lips. he continues the motion for a few moments and then you muster every good bone left in your body, to pry his fingers away from your now dripping core.

“fuck, i shouldn’t be doing this.. i really shouldn’t be doing this,” you say hesitantly.

“well why not? we’re already here aren’t we? no one has to know, baby. this’ll be our little secret, m’kay?”

and that was all you needed to hear. this was definitely something you’d be carrying with you to the grave.

“fine. one round and then that’s it-” you can’t even finish your sentence before joshua slams his lips once again on yours, this time with more vigor and fever.

——

for the millionth time tonight, your body and your mind are in two conflicting states. how could something this bad be so incredibly good?

“m-mmm, sh-shua,” you moan into his ear as he thrusts into you, your bodysuit completely off and his pants pooling down at his ankles. “you feel amazing,” you continue to feel him up, pressing down on his shoulders. joshua hisses at the feeling, guiding your hands down to his waist so you can see and feel what he was doing to you.

“that’s all you,” he smiles as you move a bit to match his pace, almost moaning with you at the new intensity you both set. “with me here, you could have this every night, hmmm, maybe even more than that to be real with you.”

he was really trying to get you over, but for your sake - it couldn’t happen.

“and with you here, you’d probably take out 20% of my pay,” you chuckle but it’s immediately cut off when joshua thrusts sharply into you, causing you to hunch over and moan, almost loud enough to where someone could hear you.

“i thought you needed to be quiet? you’re fucking the new potential owner, can’t have everyone finding out, right?”

“fuck, fuck, f-fuck,” you whisper, joshua not sure if that was from the sex or if you were still frustrated that your morals have gone out the window.

you feel a tightening in your core, and you knew any minute that you were about to come. as he continues to thrust into you, the coils in your become smaller and more detailed.

“joshua, shua, i- mmmm, i-!” you call out for him and moments later, you juices leak on him. you relax into his chest, regulating your breathing to a slower pace.

——

“this doesn’t mean anything you know,” your back facing him as he helps you fix the strings on your bodysuit. “i’ve already crossed some lines that i can’t return from.”

“i keep telling you sweetheart, no one has to know. you’re making it seem like you have to tell the whole world.”

several thoughts run through your mind, including ones of him railing you from behind in one of the secluded vip rooms. you try and push them out of your head when you finally speak.

“and if i did want to see you again, how would i go about that?” joshua then hands you a business card and pats your back, signifying that he was done.

“just gimme a call love.”

you both walk out the room, and he turns to face you again, leaving a kiss on your forehead. “see you soon, baby.” he walks away, leaving you dazed and in suspended motion. you almost don’t hear your name being called out.

“sage!” hana calls out to you and you walk over to her.

“who was that? he’s so fucking hot! how’d you bag him?”

you sigh as you lie through your teeth, “he’s no one special. just another customer.”

[drhighhopess]

Similarities

A Claire x Leon fanfiction

Word count : 2.6k

Chapter : 1/1

Type : sfw

a/n : this was made for cleon week (may not be on theme.. but im still wanting of participation) currently i'll try to squeeze in a fic or two. If so they'll probably less in length. for this fanfiction my whole idea was to show how Leon and Claire relate to one another with past, with trying add who they are today with it! Advice is always appreciated <3, also if enjoyed leave a kudo on ao3. (All pictures from pinterest)

A few footsteps could be heard from the otherside of the door. Practically like a broken record, was he going crazy? Not like anyone could blame the blonde. Each time he went onto a plane just to know he may not come back. Why risk it all?

Only if I decided to not go to the RPD.

Those words ran in his mind more than he'd like to admit.

Maybe it was wrong, all of it. It wasn't like anyone cared. Since Leon was little he was alone. No five year old expected seeing the person who they looked up to killed in front of his eyes. He was only a kid, and didn't even start kindergarten yet. People took him, barely could even process what happened. Speaking to him in a language he couldn't understand. Where was his mom? The woman he loved dearly. He was always a mama’s boy since he could remember. He has a good memory of his childhood inside of Italy from how quickly it changed. There wasn’t even a full concept of life and death to him yet. Especially not at the ripe five.

He remembers his mom, his dad.

Would they be proud of what their son became?

It wasn’t his concern, at least wasn't for now. Why ask a question for a non existent answer. Or he was just meant to be selfish. He couldn’t see all he gave to everyone. If he had the choice to never plan to move to the RPD and stay in Pennsylvania. Simply take a job opportunity out there, never know the fucked up shit he does. He would take it, he hated that he knew how selfish it would be. Even knowing he would never meet Sherry or Claire. Maybe he only thinks like this when he thinks about his situation. Even then when he sees the smile on either girl's faces. He surely doesn’t regret it, or at least as much. Why lie, he's sure they both hate how they ended up in the past six years. He is sure they'd be perfectly fine without him. Who wasn’t anyway?

The apartment door opened, revealing a certain redheaded girl. The bags in her hands pushed against one another. Her back pressed against the door to close it.

“You still up for movie night?” Claire asked, the look on her face said everything. The small smile that crept on her lips. The gentle way they curved in his sight. A soft giggle left her mouth. placing the bags filled with snacks she picked up on her way on the counter of his apartment, before going to lock the front door.

“I'm not taking no for an answer, Kennedy” Claire made clear, her voice firm. Leon knew there was no way he'd get to convince her another night. Just for them to cuddle to sleep instead.

“..Assumed so,” He muttered, leaning his head against the couch. He sat onto the couch, his legs spread apart.

“What's up?” Claire asked, moving over to forget about the bags. She went to Leon on the couch. Moving over to him to take a seat.

“Sorry, just a shitty day.. my mood is fucked up.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Rather wouldn't”

Claire sat there, she looked into his eyes but it didn't even feel like she was inside the same room as him. He practically didn't include her in his space. Like being in an alone room. Just.. he was sitting right next to her.

“Can you not do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel like I'm unimportant”

“Claire you're not, you know this.”

Claire paused, she usually didn't hear him say her actual name. Unless she's being difficult or something. There were a few exceptions, “So we're throwing Red out the window?”

“No, I never said that”

There was absolutely no need for a reply. The redhead couldn't even be bothered. He randomly wanted to treat her like this so be it. She gently got up from the couch. Moving over to their bedroom. Ignoring the bags on the table, meant for them to have some snacks. Lightly pressed the door shut, letting go of the door handle. Pulling her pants off, moving over to her side of the dresser. Finding a pair of shorts to wear. Then a drawer down there was a tank top she wouldn't mind using as pajamas.

.

A couple of hours passed, and a light but delicate knock could be heard. The blonde wasn't in his mood anymore. He felt slightly guilty for pushing his feelings onto her. She just wanted to hang out with him, isn't that what girlfriends do?

Sometimes it was mind blowing to Kennedy she actually loved him. Considering we were talking about Claire Elizabeth Redfield, he couldn't truly believe it. More so because everything he sees in her. A year ago that would have been his best friend living somewhere in California. Recently, it has been rocky. Claire at first was hesitant on moving to the other side of the country. It's a huge change, not to forget with the humidity in the east. Even then she was willing to make that sacrifice for Leon. She didn't expect for the change to hit her as hard as it did. She grew up in the east, inside New York. It wasn't much different from humidity wise.

Leon came from a mission a couple weeks ago, it's the main reason why he's so irritable. She knew he meant no harm, he's just isolating himself. It's a natural tactic they both use every once in a while. It's just.. hard. She just made a big change, now she's living with him. Plus she transferred departments.

Leon entered their room, after knocking, just to make her aware he'd be entering. She seemed awake, just faking being asleep. If anything, at least trying to actually go to bed. He slipped his way under the covers. Wrapping his arms around her waist from behind the woman. Her heat radiated to him. He didn't have to dream or fantasize Claire being his.

She was his.

Just like he is hers.

Leon had no idea that he'd be in a relationship again. He had hookups occasionally. If he was honest not many, he didn't like sex without emotional connection.

His breath caressed her neck, moving his lips to release a gentle whisper, “You up?”

“Yeah” Claire replied, her voice didn't seem sleepy if anything. The emotion coming from it was more hurt than anything.

“I'm sorry, for being difficult”

“Don’t worry about it” Claire mumbled, turning her body around to face him. Leaning over his frame, before going in for a soft peck. His hands moved over to her waist. Leons fingers rested on the soft skin they possessed under them. His hands guided her onto his hips, the movement encouraging the blonde to sit up against the headboard. Feeling her thighs wrapped around him, Claire remained in a straddling position. Her hand rested on his face, leaning in to kiss him once more.

First it was one kiss.

Then two.

And then three.

A soft groan left Leon's mouth. Any of the stress he built up from the couple past weeks was gone. The woman broke the kiss, moving over to pull off her shirt. The piece of clothing was discarded onto the floor with no ounce of regret.

She looked amazing with it, but even better without it

.

The thin piece of sheet that covered Claire’s body felt comforting in a sense. The feeling of being protected and held safe. It wasn’t something she got, since late childhood she was practically alone. When her parents passed away Chris made the choice at seventeen to go to the air force since he knew he had to be the one to support his little sister. In the meantime Claire was only in the 6th grade. The day before she had her mom and dad, she had her parents. They loved each other, and in one night it was taken away. At first she had denial, it was like a situation you'd see in movies. My mom and dad are dead? No way. They were just alive this morning. Once it hit that she’d never see either of them again it sunk. That she really was moving in with her aunt. At first it wasn’t a problem, she loved her aunt. Even then everything was different, so different it hurt and wasn’t fair. Waking up, not seeing her dad sitting on the couch. Neither could have seen her mom cooking breakfast once more. It was a memory she could have never imagined to be taken away so quickly. Afterwards she became angry, upset, mad, jealous, envious.

It wasn’t fair

Nothing is fair, Claire

Throughout the years she learned no one really cared. She only had herself to depend on. She liked taking care of herself. It made her feel powerful with an advantage. No one had the right to tell her what to do and what she should do. Picked the wrong group of friends, learned habits she wished she didn’t. It made her feel… better. She had a place to finally fit in, even if it meant at fifteen constantly being caught with alcohol.

I'm practically grown. Who cares?

Now she's a decade older and realizes how young she truly was to be fifteen. How she was making so many ridiculous choices for what? She had all the time in the world. She learned how much she truly was just a kid.

How she gave her aunt a hard time, she could tell the woman didn’t like her as much throughout the time she lived with her. In full honesty, shocked she held out until Chris came back. Allowing her to live inside her house until Chris arrived home. To Claire's surprise, he wasn’t even there his full time. They discharged him. There was no more back in forth notes. She would miss them in full honesty. Notes were like the one thing that kept her feeling like she had someone that cared for her. Still she knew there was no missing the letters if it meant seeing Chris again.

Claire noticed the absence of space next to her in the bed. Before sitting up, looking at the floor to find her clothes.

Weird, Leon's must've already got dressed.

Her feet hit the cold hardwood tile. Standing up from the bed. Picking up her clothes, before moving over to her closet. Putting them in the dirty clothes basket. Looking over to the bathroom. Opening the door, before turning on the turning the switch up. The light filled up the room. Before turning on the shower, waiting a couple of seconds for it to get warm. Moving over to grab her towel. Setting it on the bathroom counter.

After she got into the shower she closed the curtain. The redheaded girl felt the warm water on skin. She tilted her head back, letting her hair get wet in the process. A breath of air left her mouth. Showering was probably her favorite part of the day. The water caressing her skin, each drop ran down her whole entire body. Giving a sense of comfort, the action made her feel better each time. After fifteen minutes her hand went to turn off the water, each drop hit the tub. Before she grabbed her towel and stepped out of the bathroom. Putting on the clothes she set out for herself prior to taking a shower. Once dressed Claire went back into the bathroom do to what she usually did,

Brush her teeth.

Wash her face,

And put on deodorant.

This time she felt like straightening her hair. She's always had loose curls. It became a normal habit to straighten her hair. Even if she didn’t do it much for work. At least when she was on missions, there was not a need for her to just sweat her hair out. If there was an event or possibly a meeting she liked having her hair straightened, it made her look prettier in her own opinion.

Obviously Leon would have disagreed.

She was beautiful no matter what, one of the prettiest women he knew.

“You know what.. I'm still up for that movie?” Claire turned around, her body now covered in clothes. The tank top that stuck to her skin like glue, then the pair of shorts she put on.

“Really?”

“Yeah, your pick”

“..Okay there's this movie that came out a couple of months ago and I wanted to watch it with you.”

Claire smiled, before continuing, “Did you get the chance to see The Notebook?”

.

All the lights were turned off, the blinds were closed. Everything except the light from the TV. Including the reminder of daylight with the small bits of light seeping from the window. They sat together looking at the screen, having a moment just purely with one another. Leon was less focused on the movie itself, if anything he was focused on the woman next to him. Taking subtle glances at her face. Even if he wasn't a total big fan of romance he'd watch it if it meant making her smile. Just getting to spend some time with the woman he loved was enough, and truly all he could've asked for. Especially with how much he knew she loved spending time with someone. Not just that, but the people in her life she genuinely cared for intensely.

The redhead had her head on his shoulder, his arm rested around her waist. The blanket carefully draped around both of them. Every moment she was with Leon she learned how much they could relate to one another. Not only from the past, the feeling of losing a parent so young. Being failed by everything you knew and having to be there for yourself. Knowing the struggle mentally and emotionally. It wasn't an experience many could relate to.

As well with how they met, meeting in a time in life where everything went upside down. It was where they both needed someone to rely on and trust.

That there was a sense of trust they gave each other.

Leon would be lying if he said he didn't wonder how he would've met her, if not Raccoon City. There wasn't a doubt he wouldn't have met the woman he fell in love with. The same feeling he's never felt so intensely, the same one he never thought he could feel like he did today.

She made it possible.

He knew she could relate to him with childhood, the pain they both faced at the time. Not only that but understand how the Raccoon City Incident affected them both. How they went through it together. The emotional roller-coaster was difficult, but having someone else by your side makes it better.

Leon turned his head to the side to look at her face, shifting his body slightly so Claire would look up at him. Moving her head from his shoulder, her eyes moved to his face, curious.

“You alright?” The redhead asked, before being met with a warm feeling against her lips. Leon pressed his lips on hers once more, before letting go.

“Yeah, I'm fine.. I love you, Red.”

“Love you too, hotshot”

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

hi there! im wondering if you have any fics recs for an au where peter doesnt get blipped? or also any OP/insanely strong peter fics you enjoy? i’m fairly new to reading spiderman fics and would love any recs! thanks!! 💖

Hi!! Sorry it took so long to respond. It's been a busy couple of weeks!! But I totally have a few BAMF Peter Parker fics in my bookmarks! And one very good fic where neither Tony nor Peter blipped.

🕸 to fear and to fly by idyllic_dae Rated T

“You’ll come to learn that there’s only one thing worse than having nothing.” Trying to hold onto his fight, Peter shoots back, “Yeah? And what’s that?” “To have nothing, after being able to believe you could have everything.”

The streets are dirty, crowded, and the jagged bumps in the asphalt are hardly comfortable to sleep on. They’re home, though.

Peter is just about finished with New York City. It’s gotten impossibly harder to find even a scrap of food, and what little belongings he does have are unlikely to keep him alive through the winter. And the memories. God, the painful memories here.

So he saves up. Makes a plan to get out of there.

Then, somehow, he accidentally saves Tony fucking Stark from a gang of eight mercenaries, and the majestic plan disintegrates into ash.

The worst part about it, he knows, isn’t even that he met Tony. It’s that Tony met him.

^^ This one is incomplete still but it is SO VERY GOOD.

🕸 Trojan Teenager by Sara (ctrsara) @ctrsara Rated T

Tony, Peter, Happy, and Daren make a trip to California during Peter's Spring Break, both to get some business done at SI-Malibu, and to look into another hotspot for the human trafficking ring they've been trying to break down. As it often does when self-sacrificial Spider-kids are involved, things go a little off the rails.

^^ This one is part of a series but can be read alone. However, I highly recommend the whole series! It's crazy creative and super well-written.

🕸 turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea @madasthesea Rated T

Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.

And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.

^^ This fic has me on the edge of my seat every time I read it, I swear

🕸 The Worst Field Trip by mak5258 Rated G

Peter's kidnapping (Before You Go, chapter 40) from other POVs.

^^ This is part of a much larger series but can be read alone. It's sooo good! If you're looking for a longer read, it's parent fic, Before You Go , is also great.

🕸Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spider by Bergen Rated T

“Tony fucking Stark,” Clint says, and he points at the black smoke. “Did you blow up that base, you piece of shit?” “Absolutely not. I almost got blown up with it.” Clint is not alone. A few yards behind him, a scrawny figure halts and squints at Tony from underneath a frayed baseball cap. Sunken eyes. Dressed in a black undershirt and cargo pants. Can’t be older than eighteen. “What are you doing here?” Clint jerks his head at the boy behind him. “SHIELD mission. Extracting a hostage.” Tony glances back at the teenager, whose face has now morphed into something entirely impassive. “He seems thrilled about his rescue.” — Tony is roped into a mission to transport a teenager to safety. But when things go south, it soon becomes more and more puzzling who the teenager is and what ‘safety’ means for him.

^^ Oh my goodness. This one has a super strong stoic Peter, who also manages to (eventually) be so super soft. I love everything by the writer, honestly.

🕸 Peter Protection Protocol by JAWorley Rated T

"The hell?" Knife guy breathes. He looks at Tony, and then back at the suit. Ned can hear the wheels spinning in his mind. If I have Iron Man, then who is in the suit?

There’s silence for a second, then another. Everyone waits with baited breath until Peter’s tinny voice comes out of the suit. “Give me back my Tony.”

OR

Peter’s class barely makes it in the door to Stark Industries for their field trip when they find themselves in a hostage situation. Peter and Ned know exactly what they have to do to save Mr. Stark from the bad guys. A short fic that’s supposed to be fun and easy to read. Not crack, just fun. Minor angst near the end.

^^ This author has SO MANY super fun and amazing fics, but this one definitely fits the BAMF Peter Parker bill.

Insane Mistakes Everybody Makes by Fluencca Rated T

The Avengers' kids are kidnapped for leverage and ransom. Tony tries to find them, while Peter--who somehow is part of this mess--tries to keep the kids safe.

^^ Love this one so much. It has all the amazing BAMF Peter.

🕸 Survivor's Guide to The Galaxy by fanfic1892 Rated T

Space rock crunched under Peter’s armor-clad feet and he dropped his hand from his eyes, turning to Tony. "Mister Stark," he said softly. "What do we do now?”

The question was entirely reasonable, Tony supposed, but being the one expected to answer it was like an infinity gauntlet punch to the gut. (Now there was a unit of measurement he could submit to the CGPM.)

Or: In a billion-to-one cosmic fluke, Tony and Peter both survive the snap and are left alone on Titan with an alien spaceship and no plan in sight. Peter’s presence brings Tony to make a tough call: diverting their course away from Earth in search of food and fuel. With the galaxy in shambles and no clear route home, the two survivors must carve out a path of their own somewhere in the great infinity.

^^ This is one of my favorite fics of all time.

As usual, I could go on for days with fics I love and would love to share with others. But we'll stop here for now. lol. And look! I didn't even self-promote this time! Thank you so much for asking. Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!!

[ashe-stxr]

RIDDLEBIRD VN CGS 6/16

Edward has taken to letting off some steam by endlessly complaining about the other guests, tearing them apart by insulting every little thing about them that annoyed him.

Oswald's too tired to do much else but listen, amusedly watching him as he gesticulates wildly, only cutting in whenever Edward manages to miss something.

i am so so SO sorry for disappearing for a couple weeks,, between gaining a cherik hyperfixation, stressing about the election results, and losing power for several days, i havent exactly been in the creative mood lately 😭(lowkey i also kinda forgot about this blog whoops) i believe i said somewhere that i was planning on having the CGs done by the end of november, but its looking like the end of the year now (i sure fucking hope so at least, seeing as i have the month of december off from work for the holidays)

however, on the good news side of things: i think i have someone who will be doing the music for the visual novel !!! which, quite frankly was the thing that gave me the push to start working on the cgs again, because that is a HUGE weight taken off of my shoulders. dont get me wrong, ive enjoyed making music in the past, but i would have to learn a whole new program in order to do the things i want. and at this point i think it would be better both for me and everyone who plays this game if i just got the help of my friend who literally went to college for music instead of just stumbling through making amateur songs

(anyways, now its time to talk about the CGs lmao)

this is the last CG of the confession route !! which means that not only is this the first of the 4 routes that has all the lineart done for it, but this is also one of the last super romantic CGs thats in chapter 1... im gonna miss drawing them happy and in love 😭 but thats what i get for prioritizing the confession route

fun fact: this CG set is the 3rd largest one with a total of 23 pictures ! although thats going to change in the final product cause 8 of them are placeholders for the animation im planning on making. also the 1st and 2nd largest sets have 28 and 25(?) because for some reason i decided to make them the most complicated they could be LMAOO

and since im posting this the day after thanksgiving, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has taken an interest in this project so far <33 i never thought i would get this far along in this project and i hope people enjoy playing it when i release it for playtesting. ive wanted to make a visual novel for years now, so the fact that im actually doing it now (even if its going slower then i wanted) is just absolutely crazy to me :]]

[hangup119]

Hi! I wanted to talk about join game the smau 😭 ive been reading it from the start and ive been crying you're so so funny. You've captured their personalities and growth so well, plus i love how you've included random twt users it makes the experience very engaging (and youve shown the brainrot+ delusion of twt incredibly 😍). I can NOT wait for them to meet irl like each chapter is the highlight of my day! Thank you sm for creating this smau and for your hard work. Smaus are NAWT easy to make so thank you so much for your work and contributing to riize content :( theres too little love for the boys. I dont think mc knows that anton knows how she looks 🤨 (im giggling) AND the running gags are so FUNNY 😭 the way shes the only one who understands soul, i love ynton's crazy, fun and natural dynamic really their relationship dev was soo natural! meant for each other im with seunghan on this one. I should stop talking now sorry for rambling but this was long over due. I was on a trip with shaky internet so i had been gathering thoughts about it in my brain. thank you have a great day!! 💘💘

hello hi! thank you so much for this message, sorry it took me so long to reply orz...

i'm so glad you're enjoying join game, it means so so so much! im not the most confident in depicting humor outside of repeating brainrot terminology like a chronically online eight year old on the internet, but comments like these genuinely make my day! im so happy you guys find me a little funny because half of the time i dont even know what im doing when im making the chapters LMAO (i don't plan my stories or anything i kind of just let the ideas marinate in my mind until i have the motivation to put it out into reality T_T)

honestly special thanks to @shoberi for the soul/yn running gag LOL she's the one who came up with adding someone who'd only reply with kaomojis, and she was also the one who came up with the whole plot of join game LMAO i was just the one who took it further and made it to what it currently is. thank you for liking join game!

[ssreeder]

Hi, genuine question for Ur well being

Since this Is the last part/book of the Fanfiction i wanted to ask if u would be 'retelling' the whole series like if u would have to rewrite the whole season (cuz that would be SO MUCH WORK ITS CRAZY😭) or if u will like stop at some point of thr 'og timeline' bcuz from there on its almost thr same as the original (ex: aang's final battlr w ozai or the last agni kai of Zuko n Azula)

If u had to rewrite the og-show w a new timeline' how will the povs work? Like will u write aang's pov in the final Battle against ozai (cuz if u do ESP the part where he Is in the A.S the Kyoshi novels DID a pretty good job explaining It when Kyoshi entrrs It)

This Is Just for pure boredom 😭 cuz im so curious abt how u will write EVERYTHING (cuz its a LOT. Especially rewritin S3 tbfh)

LIKE thats ACTUALLY a LOT of work and i dont know if u have the sanity for that 😭😭 (NOT IN A NEGATIVE WAY IM JUST ADMIRINF UR MOTIVATION🙏🙏)

antways i LOVED the new chapter SM It was SUCH A chill n cozy One that now im so scared abt the next cuz Ur... EVIL(/j)

I also expected the cliffhanger to be DEVASTATING SND CRY ONCE AGAIN 4 THIS FIC but It wasnt ACTUALLY so bad but NOW U MADE ME CURIOUSSSSS

(will We get to see the Fire NATION Boys flashbacks back when they we're on the ship e zuko? Im still waiting to find out if IROH know abt jee.)

Now im even more frightened abt the next haha

Ok im done lol, love Ur work and KEEP UP (Sorry u had to read alltat:P)

Olllooooo!

ok anon so I’m not sure if you’re asking me if I plan to rewrite season 3 and the shows canon ending? But if you are, let me reassure you that I am absolutely not going to do that haha. LIAB won’t even end the same way the show ended so it wouldn’t even be possible for me to do that anyway

I love that you assume they’re gunna win the battle in BSS and go on to fight ozai -

what if they lose? Maybe the city falls and they have to leave it all behind and hide from the FN? Regroup, care for the injured, mourn the dead…

Speaking of dead. Fuck if what if Aang dies? Can’t fight ozai if he’s dead.

Azula loves to throw lighting & hates to lose so anything’s possible when you believe in yourself that much.

or maybe everything will be fine?! They will all be ALRIGHT because it’s liab and nothing bad ever happens in LIAB :D :D

sorry anon I won’t say what happens but I can promise you one thing FOR SURE - I will not be rewriting canon season 3 haha.

YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAAAA I’m super happy you enjoyed the last chapter haha the plot is beginning to move and we are headed towards the battle!!

as for flashbacks, the iroh zuko talk is an iroh pov and he’s super focused on the convo so unfortunately there won’t be much “flash-backing” but the ship will be mentioned so you never know haha.

thanks for the ask anon!!!

[meridiansdominoes]

holy crap!!!! i can't believe it's been three whole years since i found Dominoes :00000

it feels like just yesterday i first read it... the excitement, the adrenaline, the FEAR haha. i've read it almost sixteen times over since the first time (if i'm counting correctly) and it's still just as good every time, if not better. it's been amazing being on this ride with you meridian, and i can't wait to see what happens next! i eagerly await every new chapter, no matter how long they take, and i hope you enjoy writing them just as much as i enjoy reading them (over and over and over again lol). i might reread it yet again just so i can come back here and recount to you all my favourite parts....

it's truly been an honour watching you grow as a writer and as a person, and i sincerely wish you the best in everything you do and dream of doing. you're an inspiration to me and many others. good luck on writing! <3

OH MY THIS IS SUCH AN OLD ASK. IM SO SORRY EITHER THE ASK BOX ATE IT AND/OR I SUCK AND RESPONDING AND/OR I KEPT LOOKING AT IT AND BEING HAPPY AND THEN FORGETTING TO RESPOND.

Three years is crazy!!! Thanks for sticking with me for so long! I'm grateful for your patience and your friendship!!! <3<3<3

[scarlettwriter91]

Hii! I have a lot to say: As Potter is to Snape was my first proper fic i read and now i saw you wrote a second part im rereading it. I was planning to anyway haha but yeah. Its fucking amazing, everything is so amazingly well-written, i was a bit skeptical about the whole snape and remus are albus and minnies children but i really dont mind! Its one of the best mentor/father figure fic i have read so far and im constantly dissapointed by other fics honestly snape is so amazingly in character and is not the cute uwu softie i see in most Severitus fics. I love your writing style and honestly i would love for you to write more bc i would read literally anything by you but anyway i thank you so much for this because this fic is literally what got me into fanfic and inspired me for so many of my stuff haha! I wish you good luck with any other stuff you decide to do and also i was so surprised you put this on Ao3 bc i read it on ffnet and honestly i prefer this format more so ty for that too! Sorry for the super long message btw its 1000+ characters anyway have a great dayy

Oh my gosh!! Excuse me while I pass out from sheer happiness!!!!!! I'm so glad you loved the fic!!! I swear, everytime I think I'm giving up on finishing the second part, I get a message like this and it just makes me want to try and write it all in one day lol.

Albus and Minerva being together, plus being adoptive parents to Snape and Remus, was something that I needed in my life and couldn't find it anywhere else. (It could have been out there somewhere, but I never found it lol) And then obviously I wanted Snape to mentor/adopt Harry, but I wanted to keep his grumpiness and all the things that make him Snape even after he began to care for Harry, which I feel like a lot of other fics change.

And the crazy thing for me is that the entire thing was supposed to be a short little ten chapter thing that didn't go past summer before third year. But then it sort of just took a life of it's own and ended up over 200K words lol.

Anyway! Thank you so much for the wonderful message!! I'm so glad you like it and I hope you enjoy the reread! I'm really hoping to have another chapter of part 2 up soon! *Fingers crossed*

[bunkernine]

hi pls ignore this if i have mistaken you for someone else and am making a fool out of myself but are you the person who wrote isosceles?? because that fic altered my brain on an abnormal and chemical level way back when and i just remembered it the other day and binged it all again and i feel like i remember there being a few other fics in that universe (one from travis’s pov iirc) and i wanted to know where they are. of course if you are not the person who wrote isosceles i am a fool and feel free to ignore this ❤️

I did, yeah.

I wrote it when i was 14 so at a certain point i didn't want to be associated with it because it didn't reflect me as much anymore. It was my big baby at the time!!! But i divorced from that a few years ago. As for the other universe fics, if i remember correctly: connor, drew, a vers where jason admits to liking him back (some point isos implied that jason DID like leo back but was too confused to do anything).... But i deleted those first because they just weren't as fun, and my own friend group was falling apart so it felt too close.

But yes, you have found me LOLOL. Isos is orphaned, but unfortunately the other fics are deleted fr. Sorry :( but thanks for enjoying it!!! 💖

(ramblings under the cut)

The reason why i didnt delete isos too was because so many people were saying what you are now. If i could, id rewrite it (both with style and plot differences) and do a whole new remastered version. Im not sure why i decided to write his senior year when i was a freshman/sophomore LOL so I always figured I would've came back to it when I was older.... Clearly I did not.

I WAS miserable in high school, at least socially. So Leo was a little TOO personal and it made me mad when i basically did what he did towards the end. I spent some time just doing some random apolleo fics. Capolleo series, so my name should've been capolleon by then? LOLOLOL i had been majorly influenced by some now-deleted fic which is why apollo is even there 💀 but now im apollos age in the fic and im like 'hmm. Yeah maybe not...'

Then there was a fic that was coming out towards the end of isos that i felt was copying me 😭😭😭 ← 14/15 yr old feelings. Who cares! But i would update and then they would update and i was so paranoid 😭😭😭 honestly, the vibe in general for valgrace in 2018 is much different than right now, and it was much more open and varied in topics. This is not to discredit the current valgrace leaders or whatever the fuck, but the vibe is just ... Pretty different.

But yeah. Im sort of using this ask as an excuse to talk about it, but isos was SO big and what i was known for within the small vg circle (outside of the text fic at the same time 💀) so i was constantly reminded of it. And dont get me wrong, i ADORED that fic when i was writing it. I was upset whenever my life was too messy for me to drop the chapter of the month. Double updates felt so ... Um. Mature and awesome, like i was a professional 💀 i wrote leo as bisexual but he had a pretty strong inclination to men because i was figuring I'm out that I wasn't bisexual but a lesbian, but I couldn't really articulate that, especially as I was dating a guy through that fic. That was some cute little endpoint i was gonna have but its reality frightened me so it was dropped... The complexities of piperleojason were insane to think about when i was like, crying at lunch in my bf's car 😭 When it was posting, i left some really crazy A/N's showing how volatile i was at the time, that i eventually deleted. But i was so proud of it and it was a comfort to write. I think the drafts were a lot more raw but people loved it anyway.

Anyway. It's been a while since I've been able to talk about this fic. People have left the most loving comments in the world and it connected with a lot of readers. Its also my only fic that had fanart and playlists and such made for it! I was so proud of that! I dont think people understand how incredible that is and it truly is the dream for fic writers!!! I have other fics that inspired ppl, but isos was the one ppl constantly flocked to or appreciated :)

I used to cry writing some parts of it and now it just feels like an old diary entry. I haven't read it in a while and thought about remaking it (probs... As college kids though) but haven't bothered. Technical-wise, theres so many things that are dropped or forgotten or are just clumsy but thats really just a maturity thing.

Anyway THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!!!!!!! Ppl dont ask me about my fics like they used to which was the whole reason why i made this account :(((( among other things, lack of interactions in fandom have decreased so much :((((

Love love love uuuuuuuuu

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.

1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?

2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?

3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.

4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?

5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?

6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)

omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌

i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??

i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.

i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶

my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.

i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,

ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)

again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!

[wanderingcas]

Ahhh! Just finished the new chapter and I'm so anxious!! You really know how to weave a good story, holy crap! You're seriously better than half the authors on my bookshelf. Man, I hope things don't get worse before they get better...lol

Also 'Dying isn’t a luxury that I possess.'  Are you kidding me with this!? I was wondering what that meant and now...ugh! Brilliant. Genius. Can't wait for the next chapter!

HI!!! i'm so sorry i've been slow on replying to your chapter reviews - i log onto tumblr and forget i even have an inbox. it's a whole thing.

anyway! firstly, thank you for reading each chapter as it comes out still even with all the crazy life stuff that's been happening<3 i'm really honored. AND i wish i could promise it'll get better before it gets worse but im working on the second to last chapter today and... no promises 🤣 but it does have a happy ending i can guarantee that!

I'M SO GLAD YOU REMEMBER THAT LINE! i was hoping someone would because it was major foreshadowing:) i hope that you enjoy the next chapter just as much when i post it today!!