#im sorry there's no reddie in this chap

[mitchmarnier]

BLOOD IN THE WATER

summary: “That’s ridiculous,” Ben said, feeling his hands shake around the pen he was using. The accusation made the back of Ben’s neck break into a sweat though his body had never felt so cold. “We’re not at war.”

Tozier looked up from underneath his messy fringe, a humourless smirk sliding across his face. “You’re a fool if you believe that.”

[or: after the gruesome murder of his younger brother, Bill Denbrough is determined to bring about the end of the string of crimes in Derry no matter the cost. As stories unwind and fall apart, there's only more questions as everybody's lives hang in the balance.]

chapter count: 1/19

chapter warnings: mentions of murder, minor character death

[Read Full Story on AO3] [Playlist] 

Taglist: @honkhonkrichard @hufflepuffkaspbrak @reddie-for-anything @saddhippie @reddiesetrichie @wowdidiask @emmieliabedelia @beepbeepbitchard @lemonadeandrice (if you want to be added, message me off anon!) 

“You know that taste?” Audra Phillips asked from her place in her boyfriend, Bill Denbrough’s arms. She held the blue plastic bowl of popcorn in front of her face and narrowed her eyes at it. “When it’s like… you can’t decide if it’s sweet or salty?”

Bill tilted his head and closed his arms a little more tightly around his girlfriend. “No, can’t say I’m familiar with that one?”

“It’s literally what this popcorn tastes like!” Audra shook the bowl a little bit and giggled. “They can trick us into believing that it’s real movie theatre taste but this isn’t even close. They didn’t try at all.”

“Baby girl, I know you wanted to go out tonight,” Bill said, heart thrumming in his chest with guilt. He’d have done anything Audra asked of him, so long as he could keep the girl he loved happy and safe. The problem being, of course, that sometimes doing the things she wanted to be happy weren’t going to keep her safe. “It’s just-“

“I know,” Audra patted his stomach and smiled up at him. “With all that’s been happening lately, it’s way better to just stay in. I just wish we had better popcorn.”

Bill chuckled and cuddled Audra closer. Bill Denbrough had lived in Derry, Maine his entire life, and his family had been residents of Derry for many generations. He’d grown up on stories of the town’s legacy- while being small, also being beautiful and a wonderful place to live. When Bill had been thirteen, his father had run for Mayor and won and Bill could barely remember what it had been like before. Their house was large and airy and Bill loved every single room in it. Bill had his father’s political career to thank for the bright, bright future he had ahead of him. His mother would often lightly joke about Zack running for senate someday in the near future, and though Zack always laughed it off, but Bill thought it was a wonderful idea. He knew his father would be wonderful at it.

Derry, though, hadn’t been the same town that it had been when Bill was child though, the past couple of months. There had begun a string murders back in the spring, none too close together, but slowly growing more and more frequent. It had taken three deaths for the police department to come to take it as seriously as people had wished it would. Sheriff Butch Bowers hadn’t believed it the act of the same person until the deaths of Eddie Conchran and his little brother less than a month earlier. Since then, a mandatory 7pm curfew had been implanted on the town for adults and youths a like, and things had seemed calm.

Loud thumps came down the stairs and Bill’s fourteen year old brother, Georgie, came bouncing into the front entrance. “Where are you going?” Bill called out, shifting into a sitting position. Once upon a time, Bill and Georgie had been so closer they’d practically been inseparable. The kind of brothers that parents dreamed of having. Around the time Georgie turned thirteen and started demanding to called “George”, something had changed. It had been nearly a year since then, since Georgie had changed without warning, and it didn’t feel any more normal to Bill. Georgie kept so many secrets now and he was so sarcastic it sometimes gave Bill whiplash. His parents didn’t seem concerned about it, going as far as to say that Bill had been an abnormality in the teenage would and most people could be expected to behave and darken as Georgie was. Didn’t make Bill like it anymore.  

“Out.” Georgie said coldly, grabbing his yellow sweater off the coat hanger in the front foyer. Bill sat up fully, Audra twisting at his side to glance nervously between the two brothers.

“There’s a curfew, George.” Bill said, notably deepening his voice in way that resembled his father so greatly that Audra couldn’t deny that she was impressed by it. “You can’t be running around at all hours of the night.”

“Come on, Bill,” Georgie rolled his eyes, shrugging the hoodie over his shoulders. “Nothing had happened in weeks! There’s no reason for the stupid curfew anymore.”

“The reason nothing has happened in weeks in because of the curfew, Georgie.” Bill stood up, crossing his arms angrily. Georgie’s burning desire to disobey as many rules and orders as he possibly could was starting to become a serious issue, even if Bill’s parent didn’t seem to think so. “It’s keeping people safe! Dad authorized the curfew himself and-“

Georgie started flapping his hand in a mimic of his brother talking, and Bill felt the back of his neck grow hot. “You really are just the perfect son, aren’t you?” Georgie laughed with an eye roll as he pocketed his house keys. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe not doing what your mom and dad say is way more fun?”

With that, before Bill could say another word, Georgie was slipping out of the front door and disappearing into the rain. Bill let out an angry huff of breath and dropped back down onto the couch. Audra wrapped her arms around his mid-section. “He’s just going through a phase.” She promised him.

“I know,” Bill sighed sadly. “But if he keeps acting like this, he’s going to get himself killed.”

xxx

Georgie shook his wet bangs out his eyes as the hooded girl stepped out from behind the house. The empty house on Neibolt street was the well known place where North side and the South side of town came to meet. So it was, of course, the perfect place for one Georgie Denbrough, son of proud and prosperous town mayor, to meet up with Janie Tozier, daughter of one of Derry’s most notorious criminals.

Janie didn’t look like the kind of person whose family was rumoured to actually kill people for a living. Not that Georgie believed that, but looking at Janie you wouldn’t expect her to involved in any sort of gang activity. Fourteen years old, and yet to look as though puberty had hit her at all. In the maximum of her height, she still stood underneath Georgie’s chin and wore her hair in two thick brown braids.

“About time!” Janie called out to him, lowering her hood. She smiled out a Georgie and he felt his heart skip inside his chest just a little. Maybe Janie wasn’t his girlfriend, she couldn’t be in a town like this where they were barely allowed to be friends, but she would always be something to him even if the other Denbrough now pretended they had never known the Toziers. His best friend. His sunshine. “I thought you were going bail on you?”

“Bail on you? Why I would never, my darling.” George said and Janie burst out laughing. She stepped forward and linked her fingers in with his.

“Don’t talk like that,” Janie giggled. Georgie stepped forward and smiled down at her. “Soon enough you’re going to be doing those terrible accents like my brother.”

“Better than sounding anything like my brother,” Georgie said, voice dim and almost sad.

Janie frowned at him. “I don’t think you give Bill enough credit. He’s a good guy he’s just a circumstance of his birth.”

“He’s a what?” Georgie laughed, all trace of his previous discontent vanished. “What does that even mean?”

Janie shrugged, grinning slightly. “It’s just something my dad says. I’m pretty sure it’s the nice way of saying his the son of a capitalist bastard.”

“Am I the son of a capitalist bastard, too, then?”

Janie smiled sadly and gave no reply. The pair continued their walk through the South Side with their hands tangled together until the sound of deep, heavy footsteps brought them to a halt. Georgie’s felt as though every hair on his entire body was standing straight up as he turned to see who’d been following them.

“What are you doing here?” Georgie asked them, trying to subtly push Janie behind him. He felt her hand tangle up in the back of his yellow hoodie. His heart felt as though it had been slapped on a frying pan and made into breakfast. “Hello?”

The person smiled and lunged. Georgie didn’t even have a chance to process his fear. The cold rainy night’s peaceful silent was broken off with the sound of Janie Tozier’s screams, cut off abruptly.

[acrylic-paint-on-my-fingers]

Hell yes, I watch It chapter 2 for the Plot.

The (su)P(er gay )LO(ve s)T(ory).

[chemicalprince]

It was mentioned that Richie liked Buddy Holly bc he made good music wearing the same disgusting glasses that Richie hated

Crying, waiting, hoping, that you'll come back

I just can't seem to get you off my mind

Crying, waiting, hoping, that you'll come back

You're the one I love and I think about you all the time

Crying, my tears keep fallin' all night long

Waiting, I feel so useless, I know it's wrong

To keep crying, waiting, hoping, that you'll come back

Buddy Holly - crying, waiting, hoping

(Just think of Richie sitting in his fuckin huge house, drinking a lot and listening to Buddy Holly, praying that Eddie would come back. To come to life)

[princecupcakee]

I made this because I didn’t wanna write the article and I saw an opportunity. I’m sorry. 

[thaliasthunder]

Haven't u thought about how would it have been if Richie had told his feelings to Eddie? I mean, Eddie grew up thinking control and over protection was love, people that were supposed to love him made him believe he was weak and delicate, but Richie saw in this small boy all that strenght and kindness hiding behind all of that stuff.

Haven't you thought about... how would it have been if Richie had the opportunity to show Eddie what real love was...

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

Ok I have to say...(Spoiler)

The scene where Eddie was being obnoxious in the clubhouse w/ Stan....THAT'S NOT RICHIE ENERGY. Eddie is ALSO really obnoxious and hyperactive!!!!!!!!!!

[breathing-in-waves]

Ben Hanscom | Aesthetic Board

[toholdyourhand]

that “how to write an alt-j song” youtube vid has such strong reddie vibes you can’t change my mind

[quiche-inoya]

Place Ur Bets

Chapter 11 - thats a problem for Future Y/n

Ch.10 || Masterlist || Ch.12

taglist: open!

a/n: ive been so bad at posting im so sorry ;-;

fun fact: before this chap, yachi had apologized over and over to y/n (her phone overheated from all of the messages she was getting from her bsf and her brother)

Taglist: @qpollos​ @mclkbread @artsamber​​ @decaffeinatedtealover​​ @a-moon-fairy​​ @sxrensxngwrites​​ @ilovesupersoldiers​​ @vanilla-beanzz​​ @alexthe80swhore​ @semiathleticnerdykid​​ @mirikusashes​​ @keijikunn​​ @strawhatshepard​​ @gigiglas​​ @lovinnoya​​ @sunaschupet @mariachiii​​ @krynnza​​ @hobobob38-blog​​ @angrylittlezizi​​ @creativedogs​​​ @alienvarmint​​​ @shigarakiskitten​​ @elianetsantana​​ @b0ba-chan​​​ @kagebunshiin​ @lizard-theamazing-wizard​ @mileven-reddie​

[chuckaliclous]

Awkward//Reddie

CH 4

CH 1 CH 2 CH 3

Tag list: @eddie-kaspjack @plsshutuprichie @eggosoutfor011 @t-rash-m-outh @strangerthoughts @stenbroughreddie @greywatertrashmouth @second-fannypack

okay folks this is the angsty chapter and i would say im sorry but im just not here we go fellas

Chapter Four: Unfaithful

Richie sat in his living room, gazing out the window at the melting snow on the sidewalk that he would have to shovel later for the buck his dad had promised him. He sighed, returning his attention to his homework on his lap, only wishing Eddie was here to play with his hair as he did the work.

A small crash on the front lawn startled Richie back to reality and he snapped his head up to look out the window, only to see the one and only Stanley Uris throwing his bike down and running to the door. Confused, he went to answer the rapping at the door from his best friend. He flung the door open to discover Stan’s face red and blotchy, tear tracks stained on his cheeks.

“Stan?” Richie questioned. It wasn’t odd for Stan to show up at the Tozier household, but he usually calls first, letting Richie know that he’d be there in exactly seven minutes, as always. And he never left his bike on the grass like that, he always has to use the kickstand or his OCD goes crazy.

“C-Can I come in?” He pleaded. He resembled a sad puppy dog that desperately needed attention at the moment. Richie nodded and Stan threw himself on the couch, trying so hard to hold back tears they both knew were coming.

Richie awkwardly took a seat by him and placed his hand on Stan’s back. “What’s going on, Stan?” He asked, concern lining his face as he looked Stan in the eyes. Richie wasn’t the best with friendly affection in times like these; he only knew how to be with Eddie in his vulnerable times. Even if Stan was his best friend, he’d never seen his guard let down his guard this much. “Oh c’mon now, Stanny boy you can’t start crying or we’ll both be crying.” He smiled lightly, trying to make Stan reciprocate but getting nothing.

“Bowers…” He breathed, then began to cry again.

Richie jumped up, prepared to grab the first aid kit Eddie kept here. Not that he’d know what to do with it, but he could always try. “Shit. Are you hurt?” Stan shook his head and Richie sat back down, trying his best to comfort him. “What happened?” He asked in the most soothing and sympathetic voice Trashmouth Tozier could possibly choke out.

Stan took in a deep watery breath. “He called me a queer… and a fag. And told me I deserved to die like Adrian Mellon.”

“Mellon?” He asked.

“You know… the gay guy that got murdered.”

Richie gulped. “I’m sorry, Stan… but I mean, you’re obviously not, right?” He chuckled a little at the thought, before turning to see Stan’s completely stoic face. Richie wiped the smile off his own face very quickly. “Stan…, w-why didn’t you tell us?” Richie was completely shell-shocked. His own best friend couldn’t say what Richie hadn’t even had to to the Losers. Richie just showed up holding Eddie’s hand one day and never let go, telling anyone who had a problem with it to suck his dick.

“I don’t know,” He confessed, looking down at his hands. “I… was afraid.”

Richie laughed out loud without meaning to. “Stanley, do you even know how gay Eddie and I are? C’mon now. The only problem we’d have is competing to out-gay each other.”

Stan let out a small giggle under his breath, a rarity for whenever Richie made a joke around him. “You know what? You’re not so bad, Tozier.”

Richie felt a pang of anxiousness and guilt in his chest as he realized he was smiling at Stan the way he smiled at Eddie. He quickly  shoved the thought away. “You aren’t so bad yourself, Stanley Urine.” He found himself saying, causing the boys to crack up.

Stan looked up at Richie with huge blue eyes, not expressing sadness anymore. No, it was something more… something Richie was used to seeing in Eddie’s big brown eyes. But Richie wasn’t thinking about Eddie.

In one swift motion, Richie swooped in and his lips were suddenly on Stanley’s. Stan’s heart was beating out of his chest as his lips collided with Richie’s over and over again. Richie felt a wave of guilt overcome him, only to be replaced by excitement. He knew how Eddie’s lips tasted, how his body wriggled beneath him, how his gasps and moans would sound in his ear. But he didn’t know any of this about Stan. He’d never imagined it before, but now he kind of wished he had.

They were horizontal on the living room couch, Richie on top of Stan, Stan’s fingers running wildly through Richie’s knotted hair. Richie didn’t care if he left hickeys on Stan’s ivory neck; it was just begging to be stained by Richie’s chapped lips. Wait, what am I doing? Richie thought urgently, remembering the boy at home, probably puffing on his aspirator and waiting for Richie to call anxiously.

He broke away from Stan and tore himself off of him, standing up. “Holy fuck! This is bad. This is really bad. We did not just fucking do that shit!” Richie started pacing, his thoughts racing and not slowing down anytime soon.

Stan stood up and put his arms around Richie, causing him to recoil at Stanley’s gentle touch. “Hey,” He said softly. “It’s okay.”

Richie looked him in the eyes, as if for confirmation that he wasn’t the world’s biggest asshole at the moment. Somehow, against all the goddamn odds, he found it in Stan’s eyes.

“What Eddie doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

So this continued. For days. For weeks. For months on end. Richie would ditch Eddie at study hall for Stan, finding an empty classroom where he could leave even more hickeys on his neck, which none of the Losers suspected the culprit to even be a boy, let alone Richie. They didn’t ask many questions, they just laughed about it once in a while when a new hickey would appear, which was often.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Richie would breathe between kisses.

“Then why do your lips keep finding their way back to mine?” Stan would smirk back, causing them to lunge into even more hungry kisses.

Richie caught himself smiling between kisses. He never did that with Eddie anymore. Yes, he loved Eddie. He loved Eddie more than anything, that was true. But there was something about Stanley that Richie just couldn’t resist.

He loved it. He loved the rush of almost getting caught, the small flutter in his heart when the Losers mentioned to Stan whoever she was was a lucky girl, or when Eddie asked where Richie had been and Richie makes up some story and Eddie looks as if he almost doesn’t believe him. Richie loved the excitement.

Eddie had noticed something was… off. Something was wrong with his boyfriend, but he couldn’t tell you exactly what it was. Eddie noticed how he stopped meeting him behind the gym during study hall, and how he gave Stan a ride home after school instead of smoking with Beverly after he drove Eddie home. Which was fine, Eddie knew Richie had his own life and was allowed to have friends, and Eddie thought it was great that him and Stan were keeping up their best friendship status. That is, until he knew the truth.

It was a cool April day in Derry, and Richie drove Eddie home today, which made Eddie very happy since it was a seldom occurrence nowadays. Beverly was doing homework in the library with Ben so Richie wasn’t going to smoke today, which made Eddie even happier. All he cared about was making sure Richie was happy and healthy; which made Richie feel like even more of a jackass.

“I’ll call you when I’m done with homework, okay baby?” Richie smiled sweetly, kissing Eddie on the cheek tenderly as Eddie grabbed his things and opened the door to get out of the beaten up car.

“Okay.” Eddie smiled brightly at his boyfriend, the butterflies in his stomach still raging as always when Richie did so much as to touch him.

Richie drove the rest of the way home with a guilty conscience, in complete silence. No, he was not going to do homework. Instead, he was gonna do a little Jewish boy and lie to his boyfriend who loved no one but him. Richie hated himself. But he couldn’t help himself, either.

“Richie!” Stan waved from the lawn, his bike propped up beside him on the grass.

A smile spread across Richie’s face as he turned the car off and ran to embrace Stanley. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

They plopped down on the couch, their usual place, and began doing what they always do. Stan’s body was on Richie’s, the body heat making sweat drip down Richie’s shoulders. Stan used to think it was gross, but oddly enough, he liked the smell of it. Only when it came from Richie though. But it wasn’t like he’d ever had that with anyone else.

Stan thought maybe he might be in love with Richie Tozier. Which made him anxious. Stanley struggled with anxiety his entire life, as well as depression that popped up when he was about 13, and decided to stay. He didn’t talk about it, but everyone knew about it. Just like everyone knew Eddie was gay before he even hinted at it, or how Beverly was a child of abuse, or even Richie and his parent issues. Stan always wanted to feel wanted, and needed, and loved. Stanley Uris always wanted to belong to someone, and have them kiss away the pain and whisper that it was all gonna be okay.

Meet me in the middle of the day, let me hear you say everything’s okay. Bring me southern kisses from your room. Meet me in the middle of the night, let me hear you say everything’s alright. Let me smell the moon on your perfume… The song echoed in Stan’s head as he felt the other boy’s lips give him confirmation that Stanley was capable of feeling happiness, which he hadn’t previously believed for a long time.

I can and I will be happy, He thought. With Richie.

But no, he couldn’t. Of course not. Because Richie was in love with Eddie, everyone could see how in love they always had been, even before they could see it themselves. Stan was hopelessly falling for Richie, and he knew he couldn’t have him. This isn’t a movie, Stanley. No matter how this ends, it’s gonna be bad. Probably for you.

Eddie thought it was a little weird that Richie didn’t want to do homework together like they always did. He seemed to want to be alone a lot lately, if he wasn’t with Stan. He was worried. Maybe his dad had said something that got to him, or maybe his suicidal thoughts had come back, or maybe he was hurting himself again, or maybe-

“Maybe I’ll just give him a call,” He whispered to himself and the empty kitchen, picking up the phone and dialing the Tozier household.

The ringing of the phone interrupted Stan and Richie, and Stan pulled away for a brief moment. “Let it ring,” Richie whispered seductively, grabbing Stan’s face eagerly and yanking it down to kiss him once more.

Eddie waited until he couldn’t just let it go on anymore and sighed to himself. Worrying was what Eddie Kaspbrak did best, and of course he was worried about Richie. He decided to pack up his school bag and head over to Richie’s anyway, maybe he’d be able to study with him a little.

Richie and Stan continued on the couch, unbothered. Richie had torn Stan’s shirt off, a little too eagerly, Stan thought, and Richie was down to his boxers. They didn’t think twice about Stan’s bike plainly left on the front lawn, nor about the door being unlocked. Until Eddie walked in.

“R-Richie? Stan?” Eddie’s incredulous voice rose from the silence.

The boys broke apart instantaneously, Stan shooting up so fast it made his head spin. Richie ran up to Eddie, who backed away from him. “Eddie! It’s not-”

“Not what it looks like?” Eddie finished for him. Hot tears welled up in his eyes now and threatened to stream down his face. “Of course it’s what it fucking looks like! Of course it is, Richie!” He turned to Stan, mortified. “And you, Stan? I thought we were friends!”

“We are friends, Eddie!” Stan’s voice cracked as he rushed to put his shirt back on.

“No! Friends don’t fucking do this to each other!” He finally broke, falling to the floor on his knees and covering his face in his hands as he sobbed. “How long?” He spat out in a defeated voice.

“What?” Richie whimpered, tears rolling down his face as well.

“How fucking long, Richie? How long have you been fucking him?” Eddie screamed, his face turning redder by the second.

The two boys stayed silent as Eddie wept. There was nothing to say. They all knew the unspoken answer, clear as day. Eddie just had never dreamed that’s what they spent all their time together doing. Because Richie would never hurt him; no, not his Richie.

“I don’t even know who you are, anymore.” Eddie regained his breath solidly and stood up, pointing an angry finger at Richie. “You’re not the fucking person I fell in love with. Not even fucking close.”

Richie gulped audibly, trying to come up with anything to say. All Richie knew was that now was not a time for jokes. “I-I’m sor-” He started, his voice cracking.

“You’re sorry?” Eddie huffed. “Sorry? You just broke my fucking heart, Richie! Just fucking smashed it to pieces!” Eddie began to cry again, and Richie inched closer to put his arm around him.

Eddie smacked his arm away. “No!” He shrieked, tears overflowing his tear ducts and dropping generously to the floor. “Do not fucking touch me!”

“But Eddie, I love you!” Richie shouted, lunging forward to pull Eddie into a hug.

Eddie then did the very thing he swore he’d never do. He slapped Richie Tozier straight across the face, and the three gasped as they heard the sickening smack that echoed throughout the empty house. Richie clutched his now burning red cheek with his hand, and Eddie leaned down to whisper, “Yeah, I used to love you too, Trashmouth.”

With that, Eddie was gone.

[chemicalprince]

Richie is the only one who came to Stan's congregate, but Stanley and Eddie were taken from him. Richie took the place of Bill.

Bill loved Georgie and G loved him back. And Bill lost what he loved. Richie... Stan was a great friend to everyone, and Eddie will forever remain in R's heart.

But I’m thinking about the fact that Bill at least had Georgie’s cloak, but Richie only had Eddie’s drops of blood on the glasses that he had lost. Kill me Jeez wtf-- UGH

After all, Richie came to the church to Stan. Perhaps it was Stan who was his best friend.

And Eddie... We all know.

Not fair NOT FAIR NOT FUCKIN FAIR why did he lose two?

[princecupcakee]

Reddie, It Chapter 2

Joyride - Adam Melchor // Older - ben platt // Somebody to die for - hurts // Medicine - daughter // Somewhere only we know - Keane // Just one yesterday - Fall out buy, Foxes // How to save a life - the fray // March To The Sea - Twenty One Pilots // Jamie All Over - Mayday Parade

[princecupcakee]

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,320

Chapter: 7/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3), Chapter 3 (AO3), Chapter 4 (AO3), Chapter 5 (AO3), Chapter 6 (AO3)

Next Chapters: 

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 7: Richie Tozier Waits, Richie Tozier Looks For Eddie Kaspbrak & Eddie Kaspbrak Gives A Vinyl 

Tag-list: @richietoaster​ , @s-s-georgie​ , @mikeuris​ , @gazebobullshit​ , @that-weird-girls-blog​ , @tozierking​ , @thoughtfullyyoungduck​ , @s-onora​ , @bellarosewrites​ , @lermanslogan​ , @ambitiousskychild​ , @ghostnebula​ , @vanillaredvelvet​ ,

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 7

Richie Tozier Waits

Eddie was released from the hospital four days after his injury. It happened that morning, Richie couldn’t be there though. He almost fired his manager for not being able to move the meeting to later that day when he knew that Eddie was at home and healthy. (At home, Richie was really happy with the thought. Eddie at home.) It was Saturday now, and his plan was fitting into place. He held all the records in his hands, grinning. On the back of every vinyl was, ‘Eddie. I love you. Meet me at the park bench at three. -Richie.’

He grinned. He was able to learn the route Eddie takes on his way to work from Bev. Eddie wasn’t going to work that day of course, but the pharmacy he goes to was very close to his office, so he, Mike, and Bill were going to buy some pills from the doctor’s prescription. Richie was supposed to take the same train on his way to the meeting anyway, so he had just dropped the records on his way there. He tried his best to pay attention to the meeting; it didn’t work that well. How could you pay attention to a meeting when you’re about to propose to the love of your life? (Richie liked to use that; ‘love of my life’ it made his heartache in the best way possible.)

He got the rundown from Jackie when they had lunch that noon, right before he was heading back. Something about a show next week in some big, popular stage. She said she’d handle it so Richie just left it to her. He got on a train to the park after that, grabbing ice cream on his way there. He was far more than excited, but still a fair amount of fear. That was normal though, right?

It scared him a bit if he was feeling the right way. This felt so much calmer than what he had felt with Connor. Everything felt calm and sweet and right. He felt like he could finally stop holding his breath and smile without something in the back of his head telling him this is a lie. That this was a lie that you created in your head because you're so desperate. This was something that he could trust. Just being able to admit that meant more to him than anything he and Connor ever had. Eddie never lied to him, no suspicions because he’s always there. Always want to be there.

He was seated on the bench now. The ring in a box in his back pocket, turning his phone off the moment he unlocks it. It was only 2:15, he overestimated the time a bit. It would be fine though, Eddie’s early most of the time. He could keep himself busy.

The first fifteen minutes were boring. He just sat and stared and thought. He was productive, but that didn’t mean it was interesting. He plotted out a speech. He wouldn’t stand on the bench (though, he thought of it) it was going to be simple. Holding Eddie’s hands, he would thank him. All the thoughts he changed, all the things learned, the things that made him smile. Stating all of them would take them to the next day, of course, so just a few that their relationship was built on.

The next fifteen minutes were spent with a little girl who asked him what he was doing there. His answer was that he was going to propose to someone.

“Who?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Why?”

“Because I love him.”

“I love this girl. She lives across the street from me. She doesn’t like girls. I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“For a girl who likes girls, or if she would like girls. Or me,” the child cocked her head to the side. They kept on with that until another girl came up behind her and gave her some flowers from the flower patch a few ways down the path. She had bid him goodbye and asked him if he could tell his husband she said hello.

The next fifteen minutes were spent talking to an old woman who’s husband was overseas. They hadn’t seen each other in a while but they had been talking over the phone. He had dialed the wrong number 53 years ago and they fell in love. The next few topics revolved around his love story (he never knew it was so fun to tell.) “I’m proposing to him today.”

“Thats wonderful. Be sure to take care of him and treasure him.”

“I really do.”

“Then your love is sure to live on for years. Just look at mine!” Unbeknownst to her, her husband was standing a few steps away from the park bench they were seated. The lady had bid Richie goodbye and went off with her husband.

The next fifteen minutes were spent with a middle-aged lawyer who feels as if his marriage is losing what it had before. He and his partner had been together for years as he says, it just feels as if they were drifting apart. They had gone back and forth with why he could be feeling that way, but nothing seemed to work out for him.

It was truly sad to see, you could see just how much the man loved them. Richie didn’t really think of this applying to himself, one because he wanted to help and, two, he didn’t really want to. It wouldn’t, anyway. They had talked about what could have made this happen, the man, close to tears, just shook his head. “You can always try. Be with them more, show them you love them,” Richie tried.

“How? We’ve been married for years, I don’t even know how.”

“Do something for them; what’s something they love?”

“Uh, flowers?”

“Give them a garden.”

The man thought about it intensely for a while, silently kicking a pebble. His stiffness lessened and he smiled, “I can try.”

“The effort would be enough to show it,” Richie smiles.

“Thank you,” the man smiled, off to the flower shop.

“Today is a good day for love,” Richie said to himself, watching as tiny droplets make little ripples in the water of the lake in front of him.

Richie Tozier Looks For Eddie Kaspbrak

He had waited for Eddie for three hours. The sun had set, the people were gone, the rain was so heavy to a point where it would hurt when it hit him. He stayed there though, waiting. By the time it was 6 o’clock, all of his phone calls without reply, all of his texts seen but unanswered, he was worried. He had run to his car, drenched in rain and eyes puffy from crying and heart beating faster than it ever has before from worry.

The thoughts chased him as he drove at a speed that seemed unimaginable. It probably wasn’t unimaginable, it was probably just the fact that his eyesight was horrible and the hard and heavy rain hitting his windshield didn’t make anything better.  He was dizzy, he was cold, what happened?

He should’ve left hours ago. He should’ve guessed that Eddie wouldn’t be there after only being released from the hospital. What was he thinking? Almost crashing into a tree when he turned left to the Marsh Mansion, the closest house to the park, and all the lights seemed to be spilling. He thought he might pass out. If he didn’t get someone, anyone, with him, he was probably going to die. He ran onto the brightly lit porch by the time it was 6:15, covered in what might as well just been his tears.

“Richie? What happened to you? I-“ Beverly cut her own words short. ‘he was proposing today,’ she thought, her heart aching at how pained Richie looked.

“I-I’m worried, Bev. Do you know where he is?”

“I’m- I’m so sorry Rich. I don’t know where he is. Wait here, I’ll call Ben, explain in the car okay?”

“I don’t know where he is Beverly,” he choked out loosely wrapping his arms around himself and resting his head on the door frame.

Instead of asking questions, she holds the side of his arms and goes back in to call Ben. Richie sunk down leaning almost fully onto the door frame. He can barely talk, too tired to let out an effort. It surprised him, mildly. When talking it was always so easy to let the words out, it barely hurts your throat, but when your scared, worried, anxious, tired, it takes up almost all your energy, even to just say ‘hi.’  

All three of them in the car, Ben driving, Beverly in the passengers and Richie seated in the back, his hands and legs moving around almost uncontrollably. He didn’t know if he was gonna panic, he didn’t know if he could see. Everything seemed to be spinning at such a fast pace, but he could see everything so clearly it was almost not moving. He didn’t understand and, frankly, he didn’t care to.

Maybe Eddie just didn’t leave the house. Maybe he was just asleep in his bed, his medication is there because Bill and Mike got it for him without Eddie needing to be there, and everything was fine. It was very likely that he was only making things worse in his head, and he dragged Ben and Bev, who knew nothing of what happened, into a slight panic for no reason at all. But he felt like he was going to choke, going to vomit his guts and lay limp on the ground. He felt like something was wrong, something isn’t the way its supposed to be. It was still probably just an overreaction, but fear is such a strong emotion.

By the time they had reached Richie’s apartment, his fear had subsided a fair amount. But when he opened his apartment door and all that was there was a vinyl and a letter on the table, his fear came back in a rush.

Eddie Kaspbrak Gives A Vinyl

He sat in Richie’s bed (he felt uncomfortable calling it his own) trying to compose himself.  It would be fine. The tear stains on the pillows would dry. The turtle will be fine. Anything he might’ve left would be thrown away. Everything would be as fine as it was in the beginning. But was it fine in the beginning? He was sure he wasn’t but Richie seemed to be doing good, he had his vinyl thing, he had his friends, his job, his new job, his house, his turtle. Richie would be fine without him.

But Eddie was wrapped in his selfishness, as he described it, and was scared of that exactly. That Richie would be fine without him, and that he wouldn’t be. That whatever he thought was pulling them together, was just something he made up in his head. He thought to himself that is was probably likely, he’s done it before: with his mother and his wife.

He took a deep breath, trying to push everything back inside, trying to stop the tears from falling again. This time, it worked. He picked himself back up and walked over to the living room. He just stood there for a while, feeling too guilty to even just walk around the apartment. Yet, he did. He walked over to the phonograph, something he’d wish he’d forget (or just never learned) and played whatever was on it. ‘He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes’ sung the player.

Eddie wondered what song it was, slow, deep, and the lyrics tugged at his heart. Maybe it was just his mood but something about this song felt wrong. Something about this song brought the best and the worst upon… something. That whats probably stupid, though.

The song carried him around as he listened, “Forgive me I’m trying to find, my calling, I’m calling at night. I don’t mean to be a bother but have you seen this girl?”  Eddie sat down on the sofa, pulling his legs close together and his hands on his lap, feeling too foreign, too unwelcome to take up more space than he has. The lyrics took him strongly, his heart tight and loose at the same time, feeling each beat. He drums his fingers on the sofa, following the beats, “She’s been running through my dreams. And its driving me crazy it seems. I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

He laughed. If only his story had the same plot. If Richie asked him to marry him, he would’ve definitely said yes. He would be horrified, his past would be screaming at him no but he would’ve said yes. ‘But Richie wouldn’t do that,’ he thinks. The song went on, and it seemed as if every lyric narrated something so familiar. It was a story in the form of a song, of course, it had narrated something. But that didn’t explain why it felt like the lyrics sung something he knew. He dismissed it, thinking it was probably just a fairytale from his childhood.

As the song continued to the end, he wondered if maybe it wasn’t a fairytale. Maybe his story did have the same plot. He picked up the record, put it back in its box, and picked up a pen.

~~~

Eddie took the subway. It was faster than having to go through the L.A. traffic and missing his flight, plus, he didn’t want to spend any more time in this city than he needs to. Any more time in this state, actually. Bill and Mike were staying in L.A. (maybe for good) while Eddie would be back where he belongs: in New York City. They had told him, multiple times, that he could go back. That he didn’t have to do this, but Eddie only insisted. It didn’t take long for them to drop the argument.

Eddie regrets not using the car the moment he walked over the platform gap. There, right in front of him, was Hot Fuss, once again. He breathed in, trying to push the tears back in and looked away swiftly. Bill must’ve caught the action, as he put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, who quickly shrugged it off. They took a seat far from the vinyl, not anywhere close to their field of vision.

Despite that, he still tried to watch it closely. It bothered him how much he needed it, to even see it would let him feel calmer. He picked up his bag, smiled at Mike and Bill saying that he had dropped something earlier, and walked over to where they were in the beginning. Bill and Mike knew what he was doing, it wasn’t that hard to spot, but they had let him be. If this was the last time, then, they supposed he might as well have it while its there.

Eddie sat beside the vinyl looking at it intensely. It was an argument that no one would win, he was arguing with himself. Not knowing if he should just leave it, take it with him or simply just take it in his hands. It lasted while he thought he probably looked weird just staring at a record on the seat beside him. He took it in his hands though, carefully tracing the letters on the front of it. He wished he didn’t take it at all. Because there, written almost illegibly in thick black sharpie was: ‘Eddie. I love you. Meet me at the park bench at three. -Richie.’

Unsurprisingly, though, as much as Eddie didn’t want to, he checked the watch on his phone. It was 2:30. He could still be there. He could still meet Richie and the park bench where they kissed. He could still take back all that he was letting go and- but he shook his head lightly, put the vinyl down, and walked back over to Bill and Mike, ignoring the vinyl for the rest of the ride.

~~~

The plane hadn’t started moving yet. He was looking out the window now, breathing in, breathing out. It was hard to not break into tears when you’re on a plane leaving the place you fell in love with someone for the first time. There was nothing in his headphones this time, no Hot Fuss, no All Time Low or Lucinda Williams, just white noise. Sometimes, when there was no sound, he would hear a ringing in his ears, something that sounded like a flatline, he hated it. It sounded like death. Silence sounded like death. He was listening to silence, so maybe it meant the plane would crash, maybe it meant something had died. Who knew what did, though?

He hit the play button on his earphones and waited, ‘Remember all the things we wanted,’ he heard. What is this song? He picked up his phone to change it, but something about this made him think. He laughed joylessly, this is exactly it. He pulled out his phone. Create a playlist, name playlist: richie. He smiled down at his phone, adding all the songs that reminded him of Richie, of their short-lived romance.

He was presented with a box, ‘Add a description’  written inside of it. He took a deep breath, how would he want to remember this? Then, with a painful thought, he typed what he wrote to Richie.

‘Richie,

I should be on a plane to New York City by the time you come home. My clothes would be gone, Maturin would be been fed, and you would be back with a schedule for your next great performance.

I love you. I don’t know what else to say besides that. I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love before you. My marriage didn’t feel the way this does, my flings never even coming close. You bring the chaos thats mandatory in love. The unsteady heartbeats, the unexplainable smiling, the uncontrollable need to be together. Thats how people describe love, right? This is how I feel about you Richie, never thin I left because I don’t want you because I would do anything to be able to. But I can’t stay. But, you’ll find someone new, you’ll be famous, you’ll have the life you were supposed to have. Its just that, that life doesn’t have me in it.

I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be there when you came home. I didn’t want you to see me and I didn’t wanna make the mistake of staying. I wish I could’ve had you, Richie. I wish I didn’t do the things I did so that there was nothing to risk so that I could be there with you. I’ve done so many things to hurt people, I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re too important to me. I don’t know if they really were hurt, or if they just wanted to manipulate me, but I couldn’t take any chances, especially on you.

Thank you. I guess love isn’t as bad as I thought it was, it wasn’t as guilty and as scary and as plain. I would stay if I could. Anyone who would leave you and hurt you doesn’t deserve what you give. I don’t deserve it, Richie. I’m glad I had it for a little while, but you need someone who can love you the way you're supposed to be loved. I don’t even trust myself, why should you trust me? I can’t fall in love again. Its only you. Thanks for changing my life and making it better. Sorry, I couldn’t do anything for you, but I hope you can find someone who can do what you did to me.

Fear is horrible, Richie. Don’t let it get in the way of you as it did to me.

I love you.

-Eddie’

[princecupcakee]

Funny how one of the most iconic scenes of my otp is “you’re braver than you think” but I still can’t tell my straight best friend I like her. ha

[princecupcakee]

Ok but what if eddie was in love with richie the whole time and said his name after being stabbed bc he was worried richie was hurt and he looked down to the claw thing to check if richie was touched and thats why he was still kinda happy and smiling when he died bc the person hes been protecting since he was a kid is fine and also bc richie isnt hurt and he feels better bc hes making up for not doing anything with spider stan but hes still happy bc the love of his life is ok