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neowinestainedress · 2 days ago

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this is what i wrote yesterday while talking to myself on twitter lmao tried to keep it normal and sfw because if i spoke my real thoughts... i still have dignity somewhere

no but you're so #REAL like the things he makes me feel i'm complety insane and the thougths are definitely nsfw..

the problem is not only the piercing the whole look is insane when he has his hair like this i lose my mind and the eye makeup??? his golden skin???

yes. the probem IS HIM emo haechan no one will ever get you like me..... what do i need to do to have him i just want ONE (1) chance with him. he's so so pretty and hot literally not fair. GODDDD im thinking of that look once again and im screaming internally i want to eat him (in every sense of the word).

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Hiii! I’m sorry if it took me so long to reply but I’ve been busy and I didn’t want to rush the reply. This was karma telling you to never pull this move again ajsojlks I can’t even say “well at least you didn’t work for almost a month” because you came back to do even more 😭 But hey you had a great time at least!

hii rebs<3 don't worry!! and yes that was my karma but guess what i went to another concert on october 9 (A.C.E) so i had to come up with another lie and i felt so bad cause i literally killed a (nonexistent) family member to go in my defense it was my sisters idea😭 but it was SO worthy like i swear it was the best experience ever, the concert was amazing and the members were so so so so sweet and beautiful upclose even tho the second they looked at me i forgot what i had planned to tell them and blushed like crazy in front of yuchan (my fav) and he laughed at me held my hand and we took pictures together and idk im giggling and smiling like crazy thinking about it (when i wrote this i was alone at the office thank god)

omg that’s so cute!!! I miss making friendship bracelets, I wanted to make some for a concert I was supposed to see but thank god I didn’t have time because the whole tour got cancelled so I would’ve wasted beads and time lmao (I still have so many beads for taylor, I hope that for the next tour we will keep doing this because I don’t know what to do with them lmao)

YES!! i missed doing friendship bracelets so my sister suggested doing it but i dont think i will ever do it again because it was super tiring and time consuming.... noo and im so sorry about your concert :(

okay but second row is such a good position especially since you didn’t arrive super early. I feel you, for taylor I had to be there at 12:00 (before to get in line, but they opened at 14:00 when the concert started at 21 I wanted to die, I literally only survived because I started talking with two girls in line and then we became a small group). Noooo that’s one of my biggest nightmares, not you starting to question if it was you aodoss but lmao that’s what I fear the most in crowded spaces, it doesn’t matter how clean I am I always start thinking that the water didn’t do anything and the perfume just vanished and I smell like shit (also let’s be honest, it’s not so easy to know where the smell comes from so even if it’s not me I’m always afraid people might think it’s me 😭) tall people should be banned from the standing sessions I said what I said!!!

i love when you make new friends at the concert line. yes!! when we arrived back to the airbnb after the concert me and my friend smelled eachother to check if we weren't the smelly ones 😭😭 BAN TALL PEOPLE FROM STANDING SECTIONS!!!!!!

not you studying where they go lmao but could you choose or were you on that side because of the tickets you had?

what can i say i'll do ANYTHING to have haechan in front of me shgfsdjk (a little tmi that it might make me sound like an akgae but i swear im not i love all my neos i just dont play about haechan) but when i went to the link and since haechan didn't come i didn't mind being in third row like of course i would have loved barricade but when i ended up at the third row it was like okayyy and i didn't try to get more close to the stage and i enjoyed it so much especially since i even grabbed a piece of taeyong's shirt sjgjhdks but yes i studied their positions (i even did an excel with haechan and chenles positions so me and my friend could decide which side to go) and for this concert all the vip section (standing floor) was open so you could decide when you entered the venue where to go, unlike the past concerts where you had to buy the side you wanted. originally i wanted the left side ONLY if i was in barricade cause if not i wanted to go the extended stage but when i went inside the venue it was super packed that side so it was a big no (they sold more than 700 soundcheck packages so i think more than half of the people were at that side)

how does the soundcheck work? Did they try all the songs? Or was it mostly talking? I’m sorry if it’s stupid but I don’t know anything about this tour because I was/am so mad I couldn’t go I didn’t watch anything lmao.

to be honest, the whole experience SUCKS. we paid $400 and had the worst experience between all the other sections but i only paid it so i could see them more time and up close (but i wouldn’t recommend it i mean i’d do it again but as i said just to see them more not because it was a good experience). in terms of the actual soundcheck they come out at 5:30 with their "own" clothes (at least in asia they came out without their hair and makeup done and with their own clothes, but in latam and usa they wore the merch and had their makeup and hair done) and they introduced themselves and talked for about 5 minutes then mark asked about what song we wanted to hear (me knowing they took to my first out of the setlist: TO MY FIRST!!!!!) and he pretended we said all night long skhshjkf (cause they always sing anl at the sc), the song started and they went to the extend stage and they just walk and interact with the fans while singing, throwing kisses, reading the signs, doing kyuu, etc. after the song ended they did a little ment again talking about what they did the day before in chile. then they sang yogurt shake, did a short ment, sang sos (they sometimes exchange sos with candy if i remember correctly) and did a final ment then said goodbye (the soundcheck lasts about 20/25 minutes in total)

NOT YOU AND HAECHAN LOST IN YOUR OWN WORLD I LOVE YOUUUU

me and haechan are actually in a 7 year old relationship he just doesn’t know it yet 😁

the only thing I will ever be jealous of the usa is the sitting floor because standing floor is HELL I don’t care I’m used to it, it’s just hell every time and people have no boundaries. When I saw taylor I sat almost all day but then people started getting up before paramore and if you sat down you felt like suffocating (it was summer, in milan where it’s humid af, the sun hit the stage until the speak now set lmaooo I was frying) like there are already two hours to wait WHY ARE YOU STANDING??? the same thing happened with 127, one person RIPPED the signed ball from my hand I was shocked, like… is it really that serious?

yes i CAN'T do standing concerts anymore pleaseee also some people are super rude and ruin the experience 💔 for taylor thank god i bougth numbered? tickets (they were only $6 cheaper than the vip section but i was scared to go to the standing floor with argentinians cause they are WILD) and even tho i only arrived like 2/3 hours early i ended up being SUPER tired so yeah.... BAN STANDING CONCERTS!!!!!!! unfortunely for sabrina (but thank god for me), she wasnt that famous yet back in november so when she came out no one was standing 💔 but for the 127 the dumbass people started standing up like an hour and a half earlier i HATED THEM

gawddd what is wrong with these people how can someone be so rude to rip something from your hand fucking psycho

GIRL OMG AHSOOSO HOW ARE YOU ALIVE???? WAIT HOW DID YOU GET IT BACK OMG??? I fear this keychain doesn’t want to leave you

i am in fact not alive. after the concert ended i went to barricade and started trying to get the attention of one of the staffs because i asked a guard and he said he couldn't talk to anyone from the staff (such a liar because they were only chilean staffs) so i started to scream at whoever staff passed by and a lady guard started kicking me out of the venue and i said no wait i can't go i only want the keychain and i'll leave and she was so not nice but at least she let me but was BESIDE ME trying to check that i didn't do anything else ???? so one male staff was passing by and i said HEYYY FRIEND (what is wrong with me sfhdkfhkdk) could you please grab the little keychain that is on the stage and give it back to me? so he climbed the stage and had to look for it and found it so i got it back and finally left so yeahh that's how i got it back... and to be honest i kinda grew attached to the keychain so i was super hesitant to throwing it to the stage but i said if haechan uses it then it doesn't matter because also that was the only reason i bought it in the first place but thank god i got it back tho cause at some point i thougth i'll never see it again. wish i could buy a second keychain so i could have matching ones with haechan but that was the only one i could find in the world (i wish i was joking 😭)

I can imagine if you didn’t sit for hours straight omg 😭😭 (we talked about the eras tour, right? Didn’t we both get out of the woods as a surprise song or am I making it up? 😭😭)

YESYESYES WE TALKED ABOUT THE ERAS TOUR BUT I COULD TALK ABOUT IT NONSTOP AND YESSSS WE ARE SURPRISE SONG TWINS!!!

I didn’t see the videos but I agree with your friend (let's hope haechan doesn't mind you cheating on him)

i need to come out of the anonymity so i can show you my pics and we can chat NORMALLY and not through asks…. and haechan will have to suck it up!!!

omg? And your friend didn’t say or do anything? I don’t understand people sometime because one thing was if she tried to get to know you and releazied she didn’t like you, but she didn’t even try??? Dind’t even say hello??? Rude as fuck for no reason at all??? Maybe she was jealous of you and your friend?

yeah she was a fucking weirdo and so manipulative thank god my friend dropped her… but i also got kinda annoyed that she didn’t say anything and i mean i can defend myself i really have no problema doing that but she as the mutual friend she should have said something….

WDYM YOU HATE THE BRAIDS??? I LOVE THEM ON HIM

i HATE them so much in fact no words can explain how much i hate long hair on him (and actually on almost every idols it always looks TERRIBLE)

the difference in the length between him and the others is SENDING ME LMAO you don’t even try to hide it (as you should) the way EVERYONE say he’s even prettier irl kills me omg how can it be possible. “mijito rico” in chile 🤝🏽 “sei bellissima/o” in italy. maybe he was more tired back then? Tbh idk because I even if I surely saw videos of tds2 I don’t remember anything lmao but if all you felt it I’m sure it was like this

i tried to write longer paragraphs for the other members but since the haechan tunnel vision was crazy i only watched them for a short period so i don’t have much to say about them 😭😭😭but god i’m just thinking of irl haechan and i’m ascending he’s seriously so so so so so pretty

omgg 🤝🏼 and its so funny cause mijito rico has a song that goes “MIJITO RICO MIJITO RICO LA LA LA LA LALA LALALALALA” and haechan danced to it 😭

i want to think he was tired and not that he hated us especially since i watched lots of videos and it seemed like he only acted that way in chile

from the videos I have the feeling he has an amazing stage presence and it’s super underrated tbh but I wouldn’t know.

i swear his stage presence is no joke and in my opinion at least in live performances he’s the best singer between the 7

I’m so happy it was a great experience and you had fun!!! let's hope next time they will come back as 7 once again

thank you so much rebs i hope you can see 7dream soon too ❤️‍🩹

what merch will you get?

idk i didn’t have a particular one in mind but i saw the merch they sold at the netherlands and it’s kinda ugly i didn’t like anything 😭 so i was thinking maybe buy non official merch outside the venue? but i don’t even know if they sell that in europe so idkkk

I have nothing to say really lmao. I’ve been busy because I took photos for an exhibition I will have in November and I’m super happy with how they came out.

OMGG HELLO??? REBS THAT’S HUGE??? CONGRATULATION ON THE EXHIBITION THAT’S AMAZING IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! i bet all the pictures came amazing and the exhibition will be super successful when is the inauguration??

I was supposed to see one of my favorite singers yesterday but then she postponed the concert to November and then yesterday she cancelled the whole tour so I’m a bit sad about it cause I have been looking forward to it since February. And also since I was already seeing her I decided not to see another singer I like but I couldn’t even get tickets last minute for him because the last cities left were in these days and not close to where I live so I wouldn’t have time to organize a trip rip.

clairo right?:( i’m so sorry for that i don’t listen to her music but i saw a lot of people super bummed about it and i know how much it must suck for you especially since it was firstly postponed and then cancelled:/ sending you lots of hugs bby 🫶🏼

i will put my reply to the other asks in here to not have multiple ones at the same time!

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OMG NOOOO THAT’S LIKE ONE OF MY BIGGEST NIGHTMARES 😭😭😭 can’t you post-pone the vacation? it’s all already paid? (also i’m sorry but i imagined you maybe all dressed up at this party, cheering for the tour and then realizing when he’s coming there and having a breakdown sjdjdj)

i tried but i can’t change the airplane tickets for another day and it’s also already paid 😭 and yesaidjskxks i was hanging out with a lot of friends at the party (they don’t even know i like kpop) and i opened twitter just as an habit and the FIRST thing i saw was the post and i was like WAIT IT SAYS SANTIAGO and i saw the (wrong) date (i saw the mexico one thinking it was for chile) so i was like noo not on january 28th how am i supposed to ask for the day off especially since it’s like 3 days before our vacations but then i closed the app but as the party kept going i kept thinking about what should i say at work so i went to twitter again to make sure it was really on jan 28 and that’s when i realized it was actually february 4 for chile 😭😭😭😭😭 i wanted to scream SO BAD and i just said OMG NO and covered my mouth and my friends asked me what happened and i had to act like it was nothing when in fact i was DYING inside

(this is me if you even care 😞 https://x.com/VideoReacts/status/1742619354426982826/video/1)

i guess your vacation is not in another city where and when he’s playing (this doesn’t make sense so for example, if you’re flying to sao paulo you get tickets for that city instead) i hope you’ll find a solution please let me know if you do 😭

i hate myself so much rn because when my mom asked us where we wanted to go me and my sister immediately replied “NOT to brazil” and we ended choosing argentina cause last time my mom couldn’t go with us plus we didn’t have enough time to go to all the places we wanted but to my bad luck no kpop artist go to argentina but they do go to brazil 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 so i really have no solution and i won’t be able to see him and it angers me so much cause i’ve been waiting for YEARS for him and i almost lost my mind when he was away in the military for more than 21 months and now i can’t even see him i cant do this anymore im killing myself!!!!

soo yeah… sorry for the long spam. hope everything keeps going well for you rebs. have an amazing week love youuuu take care🩷

- 💌

hiiii!

I WANT TO EAT HIM IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORLD SO REAL QUEEN!!!

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not your sister being a bad influence too lmao. i don’t know them but i’m happy it was a good experience. also WAIT you MET THEM??? that’s so cool and they were so nice omg (are you on a mission to collect k-pop boys?) yuchan... haechan... do you have a thing for the chans sjaosajo

yeah especially when they break and you have to run after beads, i will make them for taylor next concerts hoping we will keep doing them just to finish the beads

NOT THE EXCEL WITH THE POSITIONS YOU ICON! but tbh there’s nothing wrong with this, it’s only normal to try to be as close as your bias/biases or pick a place where they play a song you like (i did the same for the diamond section at the eras tour just because of august (and also because it’s where you could see her the most)) it’s my MONEY i will get the place I want. taeyong’s shirt you will always be famous. oh so i see that chile’s organization works just like the italian one, tickets that are supposed to have a better view and should be limited turn out to be sold to 700 of people amazing!

my poor to my first defender ☹ i’m just like you, say that the floor sucks and the vips even more but then i always get those tickets (tbh i only ever got the vip for taylor because it was the only ticket the site would let me put in the cart and i was shaking and crying (literally) after days of saying “the floor? not even with a gun at my head”) but i know my limits, one time while seeing little mix I was about to faint BEFORE the concert started and i didn’t push myself (the normal and vip were separated so i wasn’t going to be close to the stage anyway) i stepped back and had the time of my life anyway. so i always but the floor knowing that if i end up close to the stage it’s good but i don’t mind staying in the back. i feel these are the crazy things we can tolerate while we’re still young, in my 30’s i will get seated tickets

me and haechan are actually in a 7 year old relationship he just doesn’t know it yet 😁

please invite me to the wedding

love how we say this knowing damn well we will be at another standing concert when we’ll have the chance. yeah stadiums in latam are PACKED , san siro was sold out but for safety reasons they can’t fully fill the floor so it wasn’t so bad, and many people complained when seeing the videos saying “oh but it wasn’t full, i could’ve gone too,” you dickhead people need space! it’s not safe! (also it’s only normal that when the concert starts everyone tries to get closer to the stage so everyone was around it and there was more space in the back) time is not real because wdym last year sabrina was opening the eras tour and was unknown and now she’s breaking records every two seconds omg

gawddd what is wrong with these people how can someone be so rude to rip something from your hand fucking psycho

it’s french people what do you expect (sorry to my french readers i guess, at least you fight the fascists)

you wanted that keychain back BADLY i love you you’re so chaotic 😭i’m happy that at least one person of the staff was kind enough to give it back to you tho. omg that’s so rare please don’t ever lose it and haechan if you don’t catch it next time!!!

YESYESYES WE TALKED ABOUT THE ERAS TOUR BUT I COULD TALK ABOUT IT NONSTOP AND YESSSS WE ARE SURPRISE SONG TWINS!!!

i can’t ever trust my brain i don’t know if i talk to myself or if i actually had conversations with people lmao glad for once i wasn’t insane

i need to come out of the anonymity so i can show you my pics and we can chat NORMALLY and not through asks…. and haechan will have to suck it up!!!

kinda yes because i try to imagine everything you tell me but i would love to see the videos (no but you don’t have to i have a vivid imagination i will keep using it)

Yeah it’s obvious you can defend yourself but as friend of yours she should’ve said something especially because it was uncalled for

i HATE them so much in fact no words can explain how much i hate long hair on him (and actually on almost every idols it always looks TERRIBLE)

listen… I could take hating on the braids but… WHAT DO YOU MEAN LONG HAIR OMG is this the first thing we disagree on?

no i can’t blame you for that don’t worry i’d do the same

omgg 🤝🏼 and its so funny cause mijito rico has a song that goes “MIJITO RICO MIJITO RICO LA LA LA LA LALA LALALALALA” and haechan danced to it 😭

HE’S A CUTIE I WILL DIE

i want to think he was tired and not that he hated us especially since i watched lots of videos and it seemed like he only acted that way in chile

that’s the only reason also because he had fun this time and it’s not like something happened there for him to hate on the country

i swear his stage presence is no joke and in my opinion at least in live performances he’s the best singer between the 7

after this ask i saw a video on tiktok that asked nctzens “who’s your bias before and after” and EVERYONE talked about how chenle wrecked them after the concert lmao

thank you so much rebs i hope you can see 7dream soon too ❤️‍🩹

thanks love i really hope that but tbh they’re never coming here in italy and i doubt i’ll go to paris again especially alone

in europe there’s non official merch outside but it’s mostly posters and shirts (but i haven’t been to a kpop concerts in ages so idk anymore) the things i got at the 127 concert were fan made (like photocards, fans, and other things, they sold posters outside after the show and my friend got one)

so umh... came back from the inauguration now and lmao people struggle when you don’t show them mountains or sunsets but i’m used to it (am i still sad? yes) i knew this one was going to be even worst than last year to understand but who knows, maybe once it’s over they’ll let me know that someone liked it (last year the inauguration was a flop but my photos ended up being the most appreciated) but what matters is that i love how the pics came out so i’m happy. thank you!!!

no it’s not her, it’s angelina mango, an italian singer. but it’s alright, i can’t do anything to change it so... (i’m still so pissed i haven’t listened to her since lmao) thank you for the hugs love u!

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YOU WERE LITERALLY THIS MEME I'M SCREAMING

(this is me if you even care 😞 https://x.com/VideoReacts/status/1742619354426982826/video/1)

THIS VIDEO KILLS ME LMAO i would’ve had the same reaction tbh

OMG A FAMILY VACATION TOO this was brazil’s karma coming back to bite your ass there’s no other explanation lmao. this sucks but also he’s in a new agency, right? so I’m pretty positive things will be better than with sm and he will come back again in 2026 and you will be able to see him. Please don’t let it ruin your vacation with your mom and sister (and do like me, silence him and every world relating to the concert when the date comes up so you won’t see anything)

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR LONG ASKS I LOVE THEM!!! i'll reply to the other anon in a while! i'm just going to eat. have a great week! love you!!!

#anon answered #💌 anon

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spearxwind · 4 years ago

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A;LKDJAL;KSJSFDKJL; HELLO???????

alright. listen. yes I have read and greatly enjoyed homestuck, you “got” me, this isnt like, top secret classified info i talk about it a lot

however you are dead wrong because I have drawing those kinds of eyes/gremlins way before I even knew about homestuck (though i guess hs might have influenced me?? but if it did it wasnt like, on purpose)

and likewise yeah i have made monster/dragon/toothy ocs way before homestuck x)

as for the bonus question, if you mean favs/non favs from homestuck specifically, here (keep in mind this is also based on when i first read it so. maybe if i read it again now id : favs: karkat (hes got about as bad of a potty mouth as i do and i relate) and uhhh honorable mentions to nepeta, terezi, and dave/davesprite least favs: gamzee (sorry clown apologists but i fucking hate him) and meenah (why did she have so much screen time she was literally so boring)

yeah! uh, I have to go ahead and say, if you got this info from that one viral post, I believe it was rly overblown x) intestines DO wiggle around, but not like, full on worm writhing or anything. same as your heart beats and arteries/veins twitch to accomodate blood flow etc, the things in you are as alive as you are.

and the fact that they put themselves together naturally is the same reason why they have to hang them: not bc of the writhing, but because ur intestines are all connected by a sheet of very thin membrane called the mesentary that basically keeps it together. its not just one super long tube detached of everything!

I can also tell you they dont take all your intestines out during abdominal surgeries bc recently I visited an ER room while they had an abdominal procedure going (why I was in there is undisclosed) and they only had a small chunk of what I assume was lower intestine hanging out but the rest was inside and the docs were just working around that. there were also no hooks. i believe they would only bring out the hooks if it is specifically an intestine procedure and they have to keep track of it’s entire length for ease of working (that’s what I’m logically assuming, I cant fact check this rn) but yeah.

I can also 100% confirm when they DO take ur guts out they also just shove them in unceremoniously and MAYBE wiggle them around but yea they just pull themselves back into shape on their own

sorry I had to go off a bit Im just a little tired of people getting afraid of like, medical procedures and such simply bc a post out there spread misinfo about us being filled with fucking meat eels or something

ooohh man it sounds really cool. I dont really read anymore but if I ever pick up the habit again I will 100% keep this in mind!!

god we loved it so much we watched it twice in a row kljsdhf

and yeah the imagery was all rly well done tbh, my favorite bit was DEFINITELY the POV scene at the start when they check out the pod. that shit had me GRIPPED so hard i was leaning forward in my seat the whole way through

#ask #anon #long post

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

#dp thoughts #danny phantom #sanchoyorambles

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trikxx · 4 years ago

Text

Lookk so to mention this is not just any friends to lovers story my toxic side is screaming friends with benefits type beat so😉 there will be some heartbreaking and Shinsou talking to other girls and you talking to other boys❤️❗️this is also a poc reader sooo read if you want i dont own you🤷🏽‍♀️

Songs for this chapter ⬇️

• B***h dont kill my vibe by kendrick Lamar

• in control nba youngboy

⚠️❗️marijuana use in this chapter❗️⚠️

"Alright we have 569 orders to pack Toshi." You say to Shinsou "ok hold on." Shinsou said licking and blunt to finish rolling it. You grabbed a box of packages and put it in the living room the grabbing your computer to print out labels and receipts.

You light a candle and turn on some music (the song at the top) Shinsou puts the blunt to the side and starts labeling the packages and putting the orders together in this order costumers order, business card, thank you card, and receipt. You do final packaging and stamp for the mail marking each order off the list and putting it in the box of finished orders.

"Hey n/n wanna go get a tattoo tomorrow?"

"Sure but where?"

"You remember Sero and Denki from Highschool?"

"Yea."

"Well they opened a tattoo spot on 58th." Shinsou said "Bet we can go." You respond putting another order in the box.

*DING*

"Who is it?" You ask Shinsou cause he pick up you phone. "Armoni." "What did he say?" "He said can he come over?" Shinsou responded "Are you ok with him coming over?" You say "Yea." "Ok then tell him Its ok."

Armoni⛓💵: Is it ok if i come over?

Y/n🤍🌸| Yea. You spending the night and do you need a ride?

Y/n🤍🌸| Also do ma know?

Armoni⛓💵: yea she know and no dad dropping me off.

Armoni⛓💵: ouu i can spend the night bet. Yea if thats the case.

Y/n🤍🌸: i didn't-

Y/n🤍🌸: Aight.

You and Shinsou start back in the orders soon finishing them. "I'm tired as fuck." You say flopping down on the couch "Get untired sweetheart cause your brother is coming over and we have a blunt to smoke and food to order." Shinsou said while laying across your legs.

Y/n's pov

Shinsou lit the blunt and hit it a few times. I looked at him as he let the smoke move out his mouth softly blowing with his head back. "Like what you see?" Shinsou said looking at me with a cocky smirk thats when I noticed I was staring "shut up and pass the blunt." I say. Shinsou chuckled and gave me the blunt. I did the same thing as Shinsou but blew o's "stop trying to show out n/n." Shinsou said taking the blunt "boy ain't nobody 'showing out'." I say putting up quotation marks with your hands.

We pass the blunt back a forth a few more times until I got a notification from life 360 saying Armoni go to the apartment. Shinsou put out the blunt and put it with the spongebob rolling tray we had. I cracked the window and opened the balcony door a little bit and went in my room to put the orders away.

When I came out the room someone started knocking on the door kinda like the police (strong ass knock✋🏽💀) "Armoni Keith l/n how manys time do I have to tell you stop knocking on my fucking door like that." I say opening the door. " Dang Im sorry you aint gotta cuss at me n/n" Armoni said "Aye Shinsou where the hoes?"

I smack Armoni on the back if the head while walking past him to the living room "Ain't no hoes." I say coldly. "Yea Armoni ain't no hoes.... right now." Shinsou said smirking. "Nigga." I say with a straight face. "Im not finna do this with ya'll tonight." Shinsou and Armoni start laughing "ANYWHOO. Did you eat yet Armoni cause was finna order some food."

"Nah not yet." Armoni said. "What do ya'll want to eat?" I say walking into the kitchen with my phone to grab an water and then lean on the island.

"What about taco bell?"

"Armoni who the fuck."(sorry to the people who like taco bell) I say "ima have to agree with y/n Armoni. Who eats Taco bell?" "Uhh..obviously me." Armoni says.

"Awe naw you gotta go." I say "how about in and out? We can go out and get that." K said "im cool with that" Armoni says. "Ok." I say walking to my room. I got in to my room and pull out a pair of jogging pants and a oversized (fav anime) shirt and took off my bonnet and styled my faux locs

I grabbed my purse and house and car keys. "Yall ready?" I ask putting on my air force ones. "Been ready. We was waiting for you." Shinsou said.

Time skip

I start up my car using my remote start while we were walking to the car in the parking garage.

Everyone gets in the car. "LET ME PLAY THE MUSIC!" Armoni yells "STOP FUCKING YELLING." And it depends on what you finna play." I say turning around to look at Armoni. "Come on n/n let him play the music." Shinsou said looking at me tilting his head with puppy dog eyes. "I guess." I say rolling my eyes. "Just dont play no trash shit." I said looking at him through the rear view mirror. "Ok ok and i was going to say yall had to cause yall smoked with out me." He said making this face '😌' "boy.."

Play in control by nba youngboy

"shhhhhhhh" Shinsou said putting his finger up to your mouth and pointing to the steering wheel. "Food." I side eyed him and started backing out the parking spot and driving out the garage. Armoni start playing Nba youngboy. As much as I wanted to turn it off Shinsou wouldn't let me so we had to flow with it.

"Sk machine guns its two of us wit four nines!" Armoni rapped with the song (in control-nba young boy only song i can get down to🙌🏽 edit- i put the wrong song🙂 if you listen to yb just ignore that🧍🏽‍♀️) I turned down the radio. "What do yall want from here?" I asked they both said what they wanted and i went inside and ordered the food. As im waiting a guy comes up to me "Damn, what a fine girl like you doing out by yourself." He says "ahaha" I said sarcastically "getting food." I say still looking down at my phone. "You should me get your number." He says "you should let me get your name." I respond dodging the request. " My name is Shindo and you?" "Y/n" i say

"Order number (blah blah blah)!" The cashier says "welp thats me." I said not wanting to talk to him anymore. "Here you go ma'am." R/n says handing my bag "Thank you, have a good night" i say walking towards the door. "Hey! Uhh.. y/n you said it was!" I heard the guy from before right when I walked out the door "Hey" I said putting on a fake smile. "Can I get your number?" He asked "yea sure" I say pulling out my phone to put his number in.

Shinsou's pov

As me and Armoni are just chilling the car I see y/n coming out on in and out but she getting stopped by someone "who the fuck.." I say "what wron... oh shit" Armoni says. "You know who that is?" Armoni asks me. "Not at all." I tell him. Im not gonna lie i was jealous. But like fr who is that. I see y/n put her phone back the guy tried to hug her but she away "she dont want em" me and Armoni said at the same time and busted out laughing

"What are yall laughing at?" Y/n said opening the back door putting the food in the car. "You petty for doing that to that dude." Armoni said trying to stop laughing. "Awe well he was the on that didn't realize." Y/n said " But you still gave him your number though ." I said. "Yea Im finna block his number rn." Y/n said pulling her phone back out.

Y/n's pov

"Aye. Disconnect from my car now." I said to Armoni "whyyyy?" Armoni whined. " Disconnect or get out. Either way your still disconnecting just the second one your walking." I said smiling at him "ok ok"

I started playing my playlist.

~Time skip~

Shinsou's pov

We got back to the apartment and everybody got comfortable and we ate and watched movies Armoni went into his room and got in the bed around 3 am. Me and y/n were still in the living room. Y/n was laying on me and I was laying on the couch.

~30 minutes later~

"Hey y/n..." she fell asleep on me. 'How cute' I chuckled and just stayed there not wanting to wake her up to put her in her bed. I kept watching f/a that Y/n had put on after Armoni went to bed.

*DING*

Kami💀⚡️: Yoooo are yall coming through to the shop tmrw

Hitoshi☄️: yea why wouldn't we😃.

Kami💀⚡️: just asking cause you guys change up plans really quick if ya know what i mean😉

Hitoshi☄️: stfu. It was only once.

Kami💀⚡️: if you say soo Hitoshi😌

Hitoshi☄️: stop fucking texting me.

It was only once we only did it once. Me and Y/n were supposed to go to their shop the other day but thing between me and y/n go heated and we ended up in bed together but thats besides the point. "Yo Hitoshi your still woke?" Armoni said walking into the living room. "Just up to get som..."Armoni stopped and look at me then down. "Uhmmm..." Armoni went back to his room and got his phone.

"Moms is gonna love this." Armoni said taking a picture. "Why you take a.... fuck Armoni delete it now." I whisper yelled still trying not wake up y/n

"Why should I delete it? Why ya'll ain't tell nobody you guys were a 'thing'?" Armoni shot back. "Cause we're not. Bruh delete the pic and we stay safe. You know your sister is crazy and if she finds out thats the end of our lives." I say slightly sitting up causing y/n to move around a little bit. "Valid point I'll delete it on one case." I was over joyed til the last part.

"Let me drive the car tomorrow." Armoni said. I sighed knowing either way this might be my last week on earth. "Ok." "Anddd deleted thank you for your service." Armoni said taking his water and going back to his room.

I layed back down trying to comprehend what just happened.

*DING*

"What the fuckkkk." I say reaching over to y/n's phone.

*New message from (***)-***-****

(***)-***-****: Hey y/n this Shindo😉.

*read*

I looked at the phone for a little bit 'who is Shindo'

(***)-***-****: from In&out we met there just yesterday.

(***)-***-****: shit. My bad for blowing up your phone just realized how late it is. Text me back when you see this👋🏽.

'Wow' I think to myself bro really is blind. Would this be considered harassment. Maybe I'm tripping... im still high as fuck. Maybe I should go to sleep. I cut on another show to try and fall asleep on but I couldn't. I kept thinking what if she falls for him?

"Y/n." I say shaking her a little bit "come on" Motioning her to wrap her legs and arms around me so I can put her in her bed. "Can I sleep in here?" I ask "Bruh your room is down the hall go there." She said in a sleepy voice. "I dont feel like ittttt" i say.

Y/n slow turned over to face me. "I dont have the energy to argue with you." She said "I take that as a yes." I say getting into her bed.

I felt y/n snuggle under me trying to find warmth so I grabbed and held her close to me. "Goodnight." I say. No response so I start to let go "ok ok night." I heard y/n say. "Mhm thats what I thought." After a while I was able to fall asleep.

2062

This chapter took 5 ever to write but it was worth it I really hope you guys liked this chapter.

🌸L O V E Y A B E B E S🌸

#mha x reader #bnha shinsou #shinsou x y/n #shinsou x you #x reader

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pocandkpop · 6 years ago

Text

i’m sorry!got7 x reader(poly)

Not my gif

Themes: angst to fluff

Words: 4.3k

Proofread to the best of my ability

This has to happen. There's no way she could honestly stay with them. Those seven boys who showed their love to her almost ruthlessly. They made her heart swell with gratitude and appreciation every second she was around them. She knew what it felt like to feel unappreciated. She was the most underappreciated person she knew. She gave and gave, not wanting to receive anything back, but it does feel good to be appreciated. It feels good to know that you're wanted and that you are an intricate part of someone's life, to know that you aren't wasting your time. She felt like she she was wasting her time. There were seven of them for Gods sakes! They didn't need her. When it came down to it, she wasn't an intricate part of their life and routine. She wasn't important to them. She didn't know what she did to deserve their friendship, attention, or time, but all she could say was that she was eternally grateful.

my favs and me💖

bambam: y/n! coming over today right?

yugyeom: she said she would

jackson: you do that bomb ass braid out bc girrrrrlllll!

jb: jackson chill

jb: but did you tho?

mark: ha! JB a weirdo acting like he doesn't wanna know too

jinyoung: yo crackheads...stfu

youngjae: y/n!!!!! im excited to see youuu

I'm excited to see y'all too!! See you 💓💓

jackson: HEARTS AAAAHHHHH

yugyeom: KAYUTEEEE

y/n was trying not to cry. She had to be strong or else this wasn't going to be easy for anyone. Sending that text was one of the hardest things she has ever had to do in her life.

"You can do this, y/n. Like a bandaid, girl, just like a bandaid." She tried to coax herself as she grabbed her keys, putting her phone in her back pocket. She walked outside her apartment, locked her door, and went to her best friend, Amika Ravenloc's car. She got inside. "You sure about this y/n?" She asked, turning to look at her. "No, but I know that I have to do this. I feel myself just falling for them more and more everyday and that shit is scary. I'm gonna end it before they can... Amika, I'm scared." Y/n confessed, her nerves finally getting to her. She started shaking. "I know, hun. I know." Amika patted her knee. "If this is what you want to do, then do it. I'll be there for you afterwards. You can cry all you want and we'll have a movie night, all the stuff you like. You got this." Amika pepped her up. She started driving. "I'll stay parked, like, down the street so you can just come to the car when you're done and I'll, just, zoom off. They won't catch me." She explained. Y/n nodded. "I got you." She agreed.

Amika got to their place pretty quick which meant the two girls would get out of there even faster. "I'm right here. You got this, girl." She told y/n. Y/n took a deep breath. She fiddled with Jaebum's hoodie that she decided to wear. Was it a smart decision? No, not really. It only makes things harder. She opened the door and walked to the boys' house. She got to their doorstep. She went to knock but hesitated. Was she really doing this? Was she really about to end this beautiful friendship? "It's best for all of us y/n. You can do this." She coaxed herself to knock on the door.

"Y/n!!" Jackson shouted, swinging the door open. She almost broke down right then and there. She couldn't help but burst out laughing as she hugged him. "Jackson!" She exclaim. The two of them headed to the living room area after Jackson locked the door. "I missed you!" He held y/n close. "Guys, look who's here!" He announced. The room erupted in shouts of happy greetings. Yugyeom tackled her with a big hug. They both almost went down. "You have socks on dummy!" Y/n laughed. "I missed you y/n!"He cupped her face, gushing at her. "Stop hogging her Yugyeom!" Mark exclaimed from the couch. Y/n couldn't stop smiling.

"What were y'all doing?" She asked. "We were just talking about random stuff." Mark answered. "Y/n, come here." Jaebum patted his lap. Y/n's heart started beating triple in speed. This is what she was talking about. They were getting too close. "Nah, I'm okay." She waved it off, sitting in a chair by the doorway. Jaebum looked at her confused. "Come. Here." He said again. Damnit. She just couldn't say no to him. Y/n stood up, lips pursed, and went to Jaebum. He pulled her to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "JB hyung at it again!" BamBam laughed. "He stay on y/n." Youngjae joked. "This my baby, what y'all mean?" Jaebum laid his head on her shoulder. "You did do that braid out! I'm dead." Jackson over dramatically died. "She looks so good!" Yugyeom made weird noises.

"Um, hi Jinyoung! You weren't gonna say something to me?" Y/n joked with him. "Don't start." Jinyoung laughed. Y/n mimicked his laugh making everyone else laugh. Jinyoung stood up, moving towards her. "You think you funny, huh?" He held her chin with one hand, making her look at him. "Oh, I know I'm funny." She stuck her tongue out at him. He couldn't help the smile that spread on his face, letting her go and went back to his seat. "You wanna watch a movie? We haven't had a movie night in forever." Youngjae suggested. "That sounds like a great idea!" Mark clapped his hands. "I'll go make the popcorn!" Yugyeom ran to the kitchen. "Bust yo ass, see if we don't laugh!" Y/n shouted. Bambam laughed out loud, following Yugyeom. "I'll go get the movies! Cmon Youngjae!" Jackson exclaimed, pulling a protesting Youngjae along. "Cute." Mark commented, bopping y/n's nose. He went to go get blankets. This was getting way out of hand.

"Guys-" "Sit by me y/n!" Jackson exclaimed. "No, me!" Youngjae argued. "She's staying in my lap so yall gonna have to sit by me." Jaebum pointed out. "Hyung!" Yugyeom whined from the kitchen. Bambam came into the room. "You guys-" "Animated movie or action movie?" Jackson asked. "Animated." Jinyoung answered. "No, action." Mark shook his head. "Both!" Yugyeom walked in with the popcorn. "Y'ALL!" Y/n shouted, forcing Jaebum's arms off from around her. Everyone focused on her. She backed up to the doorway. "I-I have to go. Like, forever." She stuttered. She never stuttered. Smart transition y/n! She scolded herself. "Why? Is something wrong?" Jaebum questioned. "Yes. This..us..I can't be friends with you guys anymore. It won't work. I'm sorry." She turned to leave but Jaebum's booming voice made her freeze. "Explanation please."

Y/n took a deep breath. "Where is this coming from?" Mark asked. "I just can't, okay?! I don't want to be friends with you guys anymore. There shouldn't need to be an explanation. It's just gonna hurt more later. It's gotta stop now." She started crying. "No the fuck it doesn't. Y/n, you're not making sense-" "Yugyeom." "No, hyung! She can't just up and leave us without reason! I won't let her." Jinyoung held his shoulder. "Sunshine. Are you sure you want to leave?" Youngjae asked. She bit her lip. "We can talk it out. We'll listen to you. We can figure this out." Jackson said, voice full of concern and understanding. "No. I'm not your sunshine! I don't..I don't..I just don't!" Y/n broke down even harder, almost doubling over. She took off the hoodie, looking at it sullenly. She threw it to the ground out of a mix of emotions. "Y/n, just have a seat and we can-" "Don't touch me, Jaebum. Just let me, just, just, let me alone!" Y/n ran to the front door, unlocked it as fast as she could, then ran to Amika's car. Shouts could be heard from the boys and feet pelted the ground, meaning they were chasing her.

"Go, go, go!" She screamed, jumping in through the window, something she never thought she would ever do in her life. The situation was so terrible, she literally leapt at the opportunity to get out as fast as she could. The car took off. The boys looked exasperated as they stopped running after her. They were too confused.

Y/n laid in the backseat of the car, covering her face with her hands. She sobbed and sobbed till she was too tired to keep going and let the tears fall silently. "Did I just fuck up Amika?" She asked, voice hoarse and cracking. "That's up to you to decide. You broke it off with them so this would happen now instead of later, right? You accomplished your goal. You're free. That's what you wanted." Amika answered. "Yeah..what I wanted." Y/n sighed. Tears for now instead of later. Hurt them before they can hurt you. That was the goal, right?

"What just happened?" Youngjae asked as Mark, Jaebum, Jackson and Yugyeom walked back into the living room. "She has to be joking. There's no way she really just ended our friendship like she just did. It doesn't make sense." Mark looked at the boys confused, sullen, and scared faces. "Without an explanation, too. I don't know about you guys, but I'm pissed right now." Jackson said, tapping his foot. His expression was stone cold and his arms were crossed. "How about we just text her? See if she'll tell us in the group chat." BamBam suggested. "We can try." Youngjae shrugged.

Jaebum went to pick up his jacket from off of the floor. He sighed. "Looks like I'm going to her house." He said. "Don't do that." Jinyoung shook his head. "Why not?" Jaebum questioned "You see how hard she was crying. It must have taken a lot to do what she just did. I think we are the last people she wants to communicate with." Jinyoung answered. "What did we do wrong?" All eyes turned to Yugyeom who was sitting on the floor, staring at his hands. "We didn't do anything wrong to hurt her did we? I could've swore we were, we, we made her so happy, but she still left. Why did she leave, hyungs? What did we do?" The poor maknae was so confused and hurt that he started to cry. "Yugyeom, don't, please." Jaebum went to hug him. "She's the best, hyung! She's pretty and funny and she fits in perfectly, so why?" Yugyeom allowed himself to cry in his hyungs arms. "I don't know. I don't know." Jaebum stroked his hair.

"We're here." Amika said, pulling into her driveway. Y/n sat up, her head pounding. Amika went to go unlock her front door. Y/n shortly followed. Amika locked her car then her front door and the two girls settled down on the couch. "I'm going to order some pizza and we'll get this sleepover started!" She cheered. Y/n cracked a smile. She turned on the tv, turning it to her favorite channel. Watching her favorite TV show always cheered her up. "Let's watch-" y/n's phone went off. "I didn't know it was..oh wait." She stopped when she realized it was a special ringtone she set for just the boys. Her phone buzzed relentlessly. She wanted to check it but Amika beat her to it. She turned off her phone and set it down in the kitchen. "They won't ruin our night, right? Let's have some fun!!" Amika cheered. Y/n smiled and joined it, her spirits being lifted with the sheer excitement her best friend radiated. Tonight was about her and her best friend, not those seven boys who aren't in her life anymore, despite what her heart says.

It's been a few weeks and everything has been going smoothly. Y/n has been getting better as time progressed. She took a break from her phone, knowing the hundreds of texts they've sent her would be there. Missed calls, emails even, that she knew were awaiting for her. She decided to focus on working. She worked at a cafe that was, thankfully, unknown to the boys. She knew it would be a good idea to not tell them because she knew they would be a public disturbance. BamBam trying his best to bust a move to the chill music, Youngjae's loud laugh, Jackson screaming and being the extra person he was, Mark joining in on the antics, Yugyeom whining and bothering her, all the while, Jaebum and Jinyoung, defeatedly, sat back and watched the chaos unfold. Y/n caught herself smiling at the vision and her nose started burning while her eyes started welling up with tears. "Be right back." She told her coworker, Edyn, a dark skinned woman with short 4c hair. Y/n went to the bathroom.

"Pull yourself together. This was the right decision. You don't need them. You just want them. Need and want are two different things. Get it together, girl. Get it together." Y/n took a deep breath and fixed her face. Random waves of emotion weren't a surprise anymore. It was all apart of the process. She knew that she would get over it eventually. However long eventually was. She went back out behind the counter. "Sorry about that." She apologized. "Girl, are you sure you're okay? You've been going to the bathroom to cry for weeks now. Did something happen?" Edyn asked. She could read y/n like an open book. "I just ended a friendship is all." Y/n answered. "Ending things should be a joyous occasion. You should feel free of whatever that friendship had. Was it toxic?" Edyn questioned. "No. It was perfect actually. Too perfect, and I had to end it before it hurt me." Y/n rubbed her arm, moving to look at the cookies. "Before it hurt you? Honey, you're going to get hurt a lot in your life. Avoiding it and being scared of it is no way to live. Your mindset wasn't in the right place when you made the decision to end that friendship. You were playing to your own delusion, thinking of only yourself. I know you're not a selfish person. Whoever was apart of that friendship is probably the best ever and you let your mind trick you into thinking otherwise. Now, I know you don't like being told what you already know, but you should go talk to whoever it was. They probably want to hear from you, too." Edyn hugged the melanin infused girl. The bell rang, signaling another customer. "There goes another one. Take the rest of the day off. I'll cover for you." She winked at y/n. She couldn't have been more thankful for Edyn in that moment. Y/n went home as soon as possible.

"Go back to them? There's no way I could. I ended it and that's final. What kind of person would I be to end a friendship then go back to them like nothing ever happened? I'd be a joke." She sighed, sitting on her couch, watching TV. "They wouldn't want anything to do with me. I couldn't go back even if I wanted to." Three loud knocks came from her front door. She jumped, startled.

"Y/n? Are you home?" It was Jackson's voice. "Open up. We really want to talk." Mark shouted. "You haven't answered any of our texts or calls or voicemails. We're really worried." BamBam revealed. "Maybe she isn't home." Jinyoung said. "Her car is here, she has to be home." Jackson clicked his tongue. "She doesn't have to be home. She could've gotten an Uber. You never know. In any case, we should leave." Jinyoung sighed. "I'm not leaving. I'm going to see her. She can't stay in there forever." Yugyeom put his back against the door. "This again, Yugyeom, cmon." "Don't touch me, hyung!" "Both of you stop!" Jaebum's booming voice yelled. Y/n jumped. "Let's just go." He stormed off. "Hyung.." "Sunshine. If you're really in there this time, please open the door. We need you right now." Youngjae cried. After a few minutes of silence, there was a shout, the sound of car doors slamming shut, and a tire screech with a roaring engine, signaling the boy's departure. That was when y/n let it all out.

They needed her yet she still stayed put. She didn't do anything when she should have. If that wasn't an indication that she was wrong to end the friendship, then she didn't what was the truth anymore. She wanted desperatly to convince herself that she did the right thing, but the way her heart hurt with every beat, she knew that she was wrong to leave. She blew her nose then went to her front door. She opened it, seeing a note on her door and a box. It was the box of jackets and other clothes she sent to return to the boys. She didn't have it in her to personally deliver them.

Keep them. They're yours. Don't forget us and please check your phone. We hope for happiness and health to be the only thing you receive for the rest of your life. We love you, sunshine. - JB

That sent her into another fit of hysterical tears. She ripped the box open, grabbing a hoodie, it was Mark's, and clutched it. She held it so, so tight. This was suppose to prevent this from happening but it hurt way more than them breaking her heart like she thought. She was being so stubborn and for what? She just needs to face reality and go back to them. Admit that she was wrong because she was. There was no positive outcome for any of this.

Y/n took the box inside and closed her door, relocking it. She sent the note down on her coffee table and turned on her phone for the first time in weeks. She knew there would be a lot of missed texts and calls but this was ridiculous.

My favs and me💖

yugyeom: please pick up

yugyeom: im desperate to hear your voice

yugyeom: let me know you're okay

mark: jackson and jb argued again..

jackson: i punched jb hyung. I didn't mean it

youngjae: coco misses you so much. she wants her mommy back

mark: she hasn't been eating. im scared for her

youngjae: all she does now is mope around. I try to take her out but all she does is lead me to your house...

bambam: come dab with me again

jinyoung: come dab with everyone again.

jb: youngjae cried again. there was almost no calming him down this time. he misses his sunshine. we all miss our sunshine. please come brighten our lives again. i beg you

mark: i almost broke my phone from throwing it when i saw no reply. i miss you hun. i rly do

jackson: come home to us. i swear we'll be on our best behavior just come back please

jinyoung: i almost put jackson out. he keeps getting an attitude with everyone. he's just hurting but it's too much sometimes

jb: Lord, I pray that you bring our sunshine back into our lives. Amen.

There were many more texts saying the same thing. It was a shock that they actually fought each other. Sure, they argued here and there but physically punching was something y/n never witnessed. That was all it took for her to make up her mind. She was going to go back, explain everything, and make everything better. She decided to go after work the next day.

She went to work early in the morning the next day to fully plan out everything she would say. She had the next seven hours to figure out her game plan. "It is too early in the morning to be looking like that. What's got you so happy?" Edyn joked, wiping down the counter. "You were right. I'm going back to the friendship after work today. I haven't seen them in, like, three months. Needless to say that I'm excited." Y/n beamed. "I'm glad." Edyn smiled proudly at the girl. "Time to open." She went to go turn the sign to open.

Business was going smooth as ever. Y/n was currently calculating a customer's reciept. The bell rang and she handed the receipt to the customer. She went to get a small menu of the specials for the day. "Hello! How may I help you..." Her scentence trailed off when she realized that Jaebum was the one standing in front of her. "Oh, um, hey..I can get you the, um.." Y/n's brain short circuited. "When's your break?" He asked. "In, like, an hour." She answered. "Well, you're off work now." Jaebum grabbed her hand and lead her from behind the counter. "Edyn! My friend is taking me away! Will you be okay?" She shouted. "You didn't tell me your friend was fine! Go on!" Edyn waved. Y/n smiled. Edyn was the best.

"Where are we going?" Y/n questioned as Jaebum stopped in front of the passenger side of his car. Jaebum looked at her then cupped her face and kissed her. "We're going home." He answered. He unlocked the car, making her get in. He ran to the drivers side and hopped in. Y/n was at a lost for words the whole car ride. Jaebum kissed her like it was nothing. His lips were soft and moisturized. Did he know he was going to see her? Y/n would never know.

"We're here." He announced. He wasted no time getting out of the car and y/n followed. Jaebum grabbed her hand, almost dragging her to their house. He quickly unlocked the door. "Hyung, did you get the coffee that quick?" BamBam asked. "I got one better." Jaebum stated. He walked with y/n into the living room. "Hi, guys." She greeted them with tears in her eyes.

"Y/N!!!!!"

After thirty minutes of greetings, long, tight hugs, and crying, everyone was sitting down. Y/n sat in the love seat by herself, facing the boys. "Why did you leave for three months?" Jackson asked, getting straight to the point. Y/n took a deep breath. "I was scared and I was wrong. I felt that you guys didn't want to have me around. You guys are so amazing and wonderful and I didn't feel worthy of that. All my life, I was someone else's second choice so to be you guys' first and only choice felt so weird. I wouldn't allow myself to even think that your feelings were genuine. I was so scared of getting hurt again that I thought if I ended it before you guys did that it would be the best for everyone. I was so wrong. I'm so, so sorry I did that to you guys without warning. I was selfish and I really don't deserve your friendship after the bullshit I pulled. I..I.." She started shedding tears. She tried her best to keep it in, sniffling and such. Yugyeom got up to hug her. "We never knew that. I'm happy that you shared that with us. We're scared too. This does seem too good to be true for us as well." Mark said. "Really? Why?" Y/n questioned. "Because we love you." Yugyeom answered. "I love you guys, too." She held Yugyeom closer.

"No, y/n. We have feelings for you. All seven of us." Jinyoung confirmed. "What?" Y/n asked, wiping her tears. Yugyeom sat down beside her, pulling her into his lap. He held her close. "We realized this when you were gone. Yugyeom was crying one day and he just blurted it out and we all agreed. We didn't want to admit it to ourselves but we all have equally fallen for you. Please, don't think that this is weird or anything. We are so genuine, it's crazy." Jinyoung pleaded. "I don't think it's weird at all. I thought I was the weird one! I even told Amika that I felt like I was falling more and more for you guys. I thought I was just being greedy and shit like that but it can't get anymore genuine than these tears right here." Y/n smiled at the boys.

"Well, since this went much more smoothly than we thought, y/n, would you do us the honor of being our sunshine for good?" BamBam asked. "Yes!" She exclaimed. There was a mix of relief and excited cheers. "I've been waiting a long time to do this!" Yugyeom exclaimed, dipping her in his lap, kissing her to oblivion. Y/n couldn't stop smiling. "Coco!" She cooed at the little dog. She held her close, petting her. She licked her face with her little doggy tongue. Jackson walked over and held her chin, guiding her face to his and gave her a deep kiss. "Um, don't start something you can't finish." Y/n warned, looking up at him with a different kind of look in her eye. "Maybe I want to." He winked at her. "Hey! Keep it pg-13!" Jinyoung joked. Everyone laughed. The rest of the evening was spent having the movie night that should've happened three months ago. It was filled with kisses, laughs, screams, tears, and much more. These seven boys showed y/n that you'll always come back to where you belong, no matter how far away you may go.

August 27th, 2018 // 2:00am

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sicklylittlesnowflake · 7 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm sorry this might be a little strange but I remember you said you've done some theatre and I really love the setting. I wondered if you'd be up for a LesMis theatre AU sickfic? I love the Ida of E nearly losing his voice and R forcing tea on him to get through the show. Then E crashing when it's over and R taking him home and E feeling like he late every one down and R having done of it. Thank you sweetie ❤️

(Strange?! This is not strange at all anon I lowkey wanted to write this and I’m so glad I have the excuse to lmao..theatre au les mis is my fav and the multi part fic I’m working on is actually an actor!e and struggling musician!r so..YES. I LOVE THIS. HMU WITH ALL UR THEATRE AUS. Ok so for background the Les Amis are doing a production of Next to Normal and E is Gabe and R is the head of the tech department!! Tbh R is on tech bc it reminds me of that tech girl I had a crush on when I did Les Mis :“) )

Theatre was the art of losing yourself and taking on a new soul.

Enjolras loved theatre and acting since he was a child. There was something so enthralling to him about taking on somebody else’s skin and becoming a whole new person with their own individual thoughts and perspectives.

Enjolras finds human beings fascinating, at awe with how complex they were and how each person to exist had their own vastly different thoughts and a whole new perspective to his own. It is such a wonderful experience to see the world from different eyes.

He isn’t comfortable in his own skin. He can never feel like he is good enough, he always feels like something is missing inside of him, he doesn’t feel at one with himself and like he’s detached from his own body, hovering over it and wondering how he’s supposed to get in and understand himself. Enjolras plays other characters so he can learn from them, hoping that he can begin to understand himself by understanding others. It’s a euphoric escape to be someone else and get away from himself for once. Enjolras is pretty tired of himself.

That being said as Enjolras pours his heart and soul into bringing these characters alive, in the process he neglects himself. Sometimes he forgets he’s real.

Enjolras blends away at his stage makeup tiredly, feeling exhaustion basically seeping into his bones. The lights fade in and out of his vision, he feels heavy, and too weak, and fevered. He sniffles, and continues to pat the concealer on top his darkly coloured under-eyes, trying to hide his true state beneath all this makeup.

His throat itches, and he turns away from his mirror and coughs violently into his shirt sleeve, tearing up as his chest aches from his chesty coughs, spluttering. He blindly grabs for a glass of water, and gulps the little that remains down hungrily. He groans, looking back to see his watery, red eyes and reddened nose.

He rolls his eyes at himself as he tries to carefully dab away at the wetness of his face, as not to ruin the makeup that’s already there, and nearly messes up the whole thing as he jumps when someone suddenly bursts through the door.

"Fuck!” Enjolras croaks, his voice raspy and all sorts of husky. He cringes, and clears his throat to fix his horrendous voice.

“Didn’t know Gabe was a heavy chain smoker,” Grantaire teases, a mug of tea and strepsils in his hands.

He’s a pain in the ass, but Grantaire is one of the reasons Enjolras wants to be comfortable with himself, because in this world, Grantaire is in it. It’s the only bad thing about theatre, because despite how amazing being in a different world is, Grantaire isn’t in it. That is a world Enjolras doesn’t want to live in, a world without his sunny, shining smile is already a little bit darker.

Enjolras rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to shoot back a snide remark when his nose is suddenly twitching and he’s turning away from Grantaire and retreating into the crook of his arm to sneeze twice.

Slightly embarrassed and not wanting Grantaire to worry about him, he clears his throat and bounces back, “Sorry, I’m just allergic to your bullshit, ‘Taire.”

Grantaire searches for a comeback, but he comes empty and he sighs in defeat, “Okay, that was a good one.”

Enjolras smirks in victory as Grantaire shuffles towards him and shoves the mug of tea into his hands, and presses a sweet little kiss on to Enjolras’s nose.

“You’re losing your voice, dear,” Grantaire frowns as Enjolras slowly takes sips of the hot tea mixed with lemon and honey. He lets out a small sigh of relief as the warm liquid soothes his throat a little.

“No I’m not,” Enjolras insists, although he’s not really sure if he’s trying to convince Grantaire or himself. He knows deep down it’s for himself, but Enjolras can’t let this bring him down, and all his friends.

The Les Amis have worked to the bone for this little off-broadway show. This show that spoke so beautifully about mental illnesses, and Enjolras was honoured with the opportunity to portray a personification of mental illness and perform to the best of his ability, and beyond that. He needed to be able to convey how it was like, to connect to other people through his performance so that they can begin to understand those with mental illnesses. Then he will be closer to helping create a kinder world.

Every show counted.

Each person in that crowd meant something, and if someone was out there and was touched by it, and felt a little less alone, or came out of it a kinder person, any sickness was worth pushing through. This was much bigger than him.

“Hm,” Grantaire huffs, clearly not believing a word he was saying.

“Don’t worry–"His words come out in a strangled noise that strains and pulls at the muscles in his throat. Enjolras turns away from his boyfriend and raises his elbow up to his face where he coughs harshly, the sounds resonating from his chest.

Grantaire frowns and leans in to rub his back and coax the coughs out of him, and when Enjolras finishes he’s exhausted. He leans back against his chair and wipes away at tears, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

"That doesn’t sound too good,” Grantaire points out worriedly.

Enjolras opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out of his throat. There is only a light, raspy wheeze that escapes his mouth. His eyes widen, his blood running cold as he freezes in panic. He shakes slightly, his breathing picking up ever so slightly. He clears his throat aggressively.

Grantaire notices this, and he is just as alarmed and fearful as Enjolras but somehow he manages to keep a level head. He wraps his hands around Enjolras’s and intertwines his fingers with his, to keep Enjolras here with him and grounded. So he doesn’t float away.

“Enj, don’t panic. Have some more sips of this tea,”

Enjolras nods frantically and begins to drink more of the hot tea, and when he’s done he puts down the mug on his dresser. He clears his throat.

“Hi, is my voice back,” Enjolras croaks out, his voice is rough and husky but its there.

He clears his throat again, popping a strepsil into his mouth and lets out a shaky sigh, “That’s better, I guess.”

Grantaire looks a little more at ease at that, Enjolras’s voice is better then, with a rough edge to it.

There is a small silence that begins afterwards. It is calm, but suddenly Enjolras says quietly, sounding so small and afraid.

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

Grantaire softens, cupping Enjolras’s face and then presses a loving kiss against his cheek, “You won’t, baby. You never do.”

Enjolras manages a weak smile at him, “I love you.”

A blush dusts Grantaire’s face and a smitten smile spreads across it. They use the word sparingly, not rarely, but not excessively. It’s more special this way.

“I love you too,” Grantaire says softly, and then his radio is crackling to life, Bahorel’s voice calling Grantaire over.

Grantaire chuckles and confirms that he is coming, and looks back at Enjolras, “Bossuet probably fucked something up again. I’ve gotta go save their asses now–but good luck baby, drink up. You’re going to be okay.”

With that, Grantaire leaves the door and Enjolras is left staring at the door, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

“All cast members please report to Val Jean’s dressing room for a warm up in 10 minutes, you have 10 minutes,” He hears Feuilly say over the intercom.

Enjolras nods, letting out a small sigh before he finishes up his makeup and hair.

When Enjolras walks into Val Jean’s dressing room, everyone’s eyes widen and jaws drop like they’ve seen a ghost.

He smirks, and sings softly, “I’m alive I’m alive I am so alive~”

He clears his throat and smiles at them reassuringly, “’Im fine. My point is I’m not dead, because you’re all staring at me like I am.”

Marius shakes his head, “Your voice is as angelic as ever, it’s just..”

Eponine clears her throat, “You look like shit, E.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes and laughs, “Oh well, the show must go on, as they say.”

Fantine frowns and walks up to him, and before Enjolras can even decipher what she’s doing her hand is placed gently on his forehead. He tries to squirm away, but she’s strong.

“You’ve got quite a fever, sweetheart,” She says gently. She is just as motherly to him on stage as she is off stage. Hopefully, off stage he’s a slightly better person than Gabe.

“It’ll be fine,” Enjolras says coolly, but Marius is trying to secretly text someone. He raises an eyebrow at the younger boy, slightly amused as Marius seems so sure no one is noticing him.

“Pontmercy, what are you doing?” Enjolras sighs.

“..Uh…” He says awkwardly.

Combeferre bursts through the door shortly after, and crosses his arms, clearly not very happy.

Enjolras turns white, “..uh..”

Combeferre basically slaps his hand onto Enjolras’ forehead and his frown is further deepened, and a few various pills are being shoved into his palm, as well as some more tea.

Enjolras groans, “I am drowning in tea, Ferre, I–”

The way Combeferre is glaring at him shuts him up and he’s popping the pills into his mouth and downing them with the tea.

Enjolras coughs, and he thinks it’s just a single, one off thing but the next comes spilling out of him, and the next, and the next. He’s coughing and he can’t stop, and it stabs at his chest and at his lungs. He’s expelling so much he’s not taking anything in, he can’t breathe and his body needs to. He feels faint, his vision darkening as the coughs force their way out of his chest.

He feels weak and faint, trying to reach for a wall or anything so his body doesn’t collapse in on itself, but he one powerful cough sends him toppling over, his body light as it free falls.

But thankfully Valjean is quick and there’s a strong arm around his waist, supporting him, and lifting him back to ground. When Enjolras looks up from his feverish, blearily haze there is a soft, concerned gaze looking down on him.

“Are you sure you’re up to this, kiddo? You don’t have to if you’re not feeling well,” Jean says worriedly, as he balances Enjolras back on his feet.

Enjolras rubs at his nose, stifling two sneezes before he responds, “I’m fine. Tonight is important. I can’t miss it.”

Everyone in the room looks extremely concerned, but when Combeferre sighs, not pleased but approving, they all straighten up to start working on warmups. As he turns around to leave, he suddenly leans forward and gives Enjolras a hug, rubbing his back lovingly and ruffling his golden hair.

When Combeferre pulls away his gaze is kind and caring, “You’re going to be amazing, E. You always are, please take care of yourself out there. Gabe is cool, but so are you, okay? I feel like you forget that sometimes.”

Enjolras’s eyes prick with touched tears, and he bites his lip to stop himself from crying any more. He smiles weakly at him, letting out a shaky exhale, “Fuck off, Ferre, you’re ruining my makeup.”

Combeferre can only laugh at that and ruffle his hair, before turning to leave through the door. He can’t help but spare a glance at Enjolras worriedly, wishing and praying that he would be okay, and he leaves through the door.

“Are we all ready?” Javert asks.

Everyone nods in agreement, and Marius starts to play the piano as they all harmonise and warm up their voices.

Grantaire finishes his double checks on all of the sound tech, and he sighs in relief. He’s done all he could possibly do. All he can do now, is relax and hope to whatever higher being out there that everything goes well.

He keeps his headphones in his ears and picks up a small cup of tea and makes his way to the left wing, where Enjolras is waiting at his five minute call to start the show. Fantine is already on stage in the dark, curtains still close. Grantaire is not an actor, but he is still always so fascinated with how when an actor steps onto stage, they are immediately a different person.

Grantaire carefully makes his way past and finds himself in the wings, and he finds Enjolras standing in the wings. He looks tired, sick, worried.

He approaches him slowly, gently tapping him on the shoulder, “Hey baby.”

Enjolras whips around and smiled at him, but a chesty little cough escapes him. He clears his throat, and he’s shaking ever so slightly and Grantaire doesn’t know if he’s nervous or just feverish.

“Hi,” Enjolras croaks out quietly, he looks down at Grantaire’s hands and takes the small cup of tea from Grantaire and sips at it slowly. He looks a little more relieved.

“Better?” Grantaire says softly.

Enjolras nods lightly, and tiptoes to kiss Grantaire’s cheek. Grantaire thinks this is the cutest thing.

“I’m scared,” Enjolras admits, his voice low and shaky. He’s trembling slightly, his voice cracking with vulnerability. He looks a lot younger like this. It breaks Grantaire’s heart. Enjolras is rarely ever this vulnerable.

“I can’t mess this up, you know that there are–”

“Yeah, there are important people here tonight but you are going to kill it. I know you will, baby.”

Enjolras can only manage a weak smile.

“Mics are turning on,” He hears Bossuet through his headphones.

Grantaire nods, and whispers softly, “Mic is on, E.”

Silence.

“Curtains are opening. You are going to be amazing, E. Remember that. Good luck, baby. And you are on stage in 1..2..”

Enjolras closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. When he opens his eyes the light in them is different, shifting. He steps onto stage and when the light hits his face he’s a new person.

Any trace of Enjolras is gone, he has somebody else’s skin on and everything is fine.

Grantaire never doubted that for one second.

Every hair on Grantaire’s body stands with excitement and adrenaline, a exhilarating buzz boiling in his blood as Enjolras’s powerful voice booms across the theatre. His belt is as strong as ever, his voice so wonderful and satisfying, like the cold side of your pillow that feels amazing in the dead of night.

Enjolras is Gabe. He is perfectly portraying this complex character, the perfect embodiment. He has become this character, the way he looks at things is completely different. There is so much detail and depth behind every step he takes. He plays this character with this fresh nuance, played so lovingly and obviously painstakingly crafted. There is so much depth he embodies, a chilling performance that leaves Grantaire moved. Grantaire is unbelievably proud, it swells in his heart.

The act is coming to a close, and Enjolras sings. He’s so angelic and lovely, the light shining and framing him perfectly. But it is so chilling and eerie, his gaze is intense and bone chilling. His voice is this beautiful lyrical tenor and his vibrato is clear and satisfying, his voice steady and melodic in this incredibly angelic way.

Then the act closes, the curtains falling and the audience roars with claps and screams, whistling. Grantaire can’t help but try and peek through to see, and he can see people standing up as they cheer.

Grantaire awaits his star by the wings, and the moment the curtain falls he’s transported back into this world. He’s Enjolras, and he’s so weak. So sick.

He staggers weakly offstage, looking so weary and unwell that the moment Grantaire is in reach he collapses into his arms with exhaustion.

“Enjolras!” He exclaims as his boyfriend falls into his arms. Grantaire steadies him with some strength and pulls him into his arms. The younger boy weakly buries his face into Grantaire’s chest. He coughs harshly and sharply, his face scrunched in pain as he coughs.

Frantically, he feels his forehead and gasps at the intense heat radiating off of it.

“Fuck, E!” Grantaire hisses worriedly.

“Courf! Over here!” Grantaire calls over, and once Courfeyrac can see them his eyes widen and he’s running towards them. With his help, they manage to get Enjolras back to his dressing room.

“I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid,” Enjolras hisses to himself in self loathing, tears pricking at his eyes.

“No you’re not, E,” Courfeyrac reassures softly, trying to mask the worry in his voice.

Combeferre arrived shortly after with a damp towel and drapes it over his forehead. He is clearly shaken, very nervous and frantic.

“I failed you all,” Enjolras whimpers.

“What?! No you didn’t!” Courfeyrac insists.

“I can still perform, I promise. Just one more hour. I can do this. I promise, please,” Enjolras begs tearfully, stopping as Grantaire helps him drink more tea. He pushes Grantaire away shortly, to hack and cough powerfully, tearing up. He clearly looks like he is in a lot pain, and the sound of his coughing is awfully chesty and congested. It sounds horrible.

No one wants Enjolras to do this, but they all know Enjolras would never forgive himself if he couldn’t. They don’t want to see him in such a state. Courfeyrac and Grantaire look over at Combeferre for answers.

Combeferre looks conflicted, staring at Enjolras for a long time and sighs exhaustedly, “He can do it. But Grantaire, once you two get home you have to extensively take care of him.”

Grantaire nods determinedly, “Of course.”

The bright smile Enjolras gives them is undeniably precious.

Combeferre and Courfeyrac leave them alone, to which Grantaire sighs fondly and helps Enjolras drink more tea.

“You are a mess.”

Enjolras grins feverishly, “Your mess, though.”

Grantaire chuckles, and kisses his forehead, “Unfortunately. You are going to give me an ulcer, one day, you know?”

Grantaire doesn’t understand it–he believes it’s some type of magic or sorcery or witchcraft, the like–but when Enjolras is back on stage his symptoms disappear completely. He is energised and alive again.

Enjolras is so good that Grantaire forgets that just a short while ago Enjolras was breaking down backstage, sick as a dog. On stage Enjolras is at the best state he’s ever been. The audience could never have guessed he was running a borderline dangerous fever and what surely could become a chest infection.

The show comes to a close, and one of the last songs is this extremely powerful and moving exchange between Val Jean and Enjolras. They are both talents, revelations, incredibly passionate. They are delivering a performance of a lifetime, pouring their hearts out to many. Grantaire can faintly hear soft sobbing from the audience. When they finish, the audience explodes into a series of claps, so touched and moved.

When the show closes, the entire theatre stands up and claps loudly. The theatre is exploding with cheering and whistling and clapping. Grantaire can’t hear anything but cheers. They can’t even start bowing because the cheering is lasting so long.

The small cast begins to bow, and Grantaire can’t help but start cheering too when Enjolras steps to the centre for his bows. He starts to tear up as the crowd goes wild for him.

When the curtains fall and the cast come out, they are bombarded by hugs by everyone backstage.

“You were amazing, 'Jolras! You’ve brought our show to life,” Courfeyrac cries, tears steaming down his face as he hugs Enjolras.

“You killed it!” Combeferre says proudly as he joins in the hugs.

But when Enjolras starts coughing again, bent over by the waist. His powerful coughs take what is left of his energy and he starts to tip slightly, and he’s leaning forwards too much and Courfeyrac is swooping in to catch him. That is when when everyone remembers that Enjolras is sick and needs to go home.

“We should go home,” Grantaire steps in, approaching his boyfriend and taking him from Courfeyrac.

“You’re right. You’ll inform us on how he’s doing, right?” Combeferre asks anxiously.

“Of course.”

“But Stage Door,” Enjolras says weakly.

“Oh my god, Enjolras. You are not in the state, everyone will understand. You need to go home,” Grantaire insists.

Enjolras becomes quiet and looks so miserable. Grantaire sighs and feels a bit guilty, helping him back to the car.

Enjolras sleeps the whole way back to their apartment. Grantaire’s glad, because Enjolras needs to recharge. Once he parks, he picks Enjolras up and starts to carry him up to the elevator. He finally makes it to their apartment, and immediately puts Enjolras down on their bed.

He is about to leave to get some supplies when Enjolras stirs and grabs for Grantaire’s arm.

“Grantaire,” Enjolras whimpers, his voice teary and obviously upset.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” Grantaire coos as he sits at the edge of the bed to speak to him.

“I failed everyone, I did so badly, we’re going to get bad reviews and close early,” Enjolras chokes, a few tears beginning to spill from his eyes.

“What?! No! You were absolutely brilliant, baby. People were crying. Did you not see the standing fucking ovation at the end of the show? Fuck, there was one during your act closer! People loved it, Enjolras. Our message is getting out there thanks to you. So don’t you dare fucking tell me that you failed us. You’ve made us.”

Enjolras sniffled, inhaling sharply to sneeze harshly, then rubbing at his eye weakly, "I don’t believe you.”

Grantaire opens his mouth to bless him and to reassure him but his phone is beeping. Then again. And his phone is going crazy.

He pulls his phone out and quickly scans through the gibberish that is Courfeyrac’s recent texts, and when he scrolls to the original text his heart drops. Then it swells.

“Enjolras, do you want proof that you did not disappoint tonight?”

Enjolras only huffs.

“Enj, we’re going on Broadway.”

Enjolras eyes widen, and he starts crying again. He’s crying even more–but this time he’s happy. Enjolras forces himself up and throws himself over Grantaire and holds him close, hugging him tightly and continuing to cry. Grantaire presses a kiss onto the top of his head.

“We’re going on Broadway thanks to you, Enjolras. And I mean you. Not just the character you play. You. You made this all happen, and I know you aren’t always very happy with yourself and I hope this can help you start to see what I see in. I am so proud of you, and I love you so much.”

“It takes two, I thought one was enough, It’s not true, It takes two of us, You came through, when the journey was rough it took you..” Enjolras sings softly.

“It took two of us. It takes care. It takes patience and fear and despair. To change.” Grantaire sings back. He’s a bit awkward, a little offkey, but to Enjolras it couldn’t have been more perfect.

#enjolras #grantaire #les mis #enjoltaire #exr #les miserables #theater au #Combeferre #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #eponine thernadier #jean val jean #fantine #sickfic #fever #prompts #y'all i loved this prompt so much the fuck

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swearronchanel · 8 years ago

Text

I rewatched 5.09 aka The 2016 Christmas Special

I officially have done nothing productive all day. I did finish rewatching The Nanny though if that counts 😂😂 I forgot how much it made me laugh. Anyway I’m randomly in the mood to watch the 2016 Christmas special so why not post? Btw this will be long af this IS incredibly long but I just had so many thoughts ya’ know?

Ah I’m excited again, this was such a great special don’t @ me

The Turners! ANGELA’S LITTLE NURSE UNIFORM 😭💕 SO PRECIOUS

SHELAGH LOOKING LIKE A BABE😍

TRIXIE looking a babe 😍 she assisted in the cesarean.. later she’ll do it herself ahh

I want to have Christmas dinner at Nonnatus aww

“To absent friends"💔 my freaking heart breaks, sister MJ’s face! ugh she misses sister Evangelina. But don’t we all?

More cute Angela not talking as usual (still waiting for a word)

I want Trixie’s Christmas outfit, I want all her clothes though 😍

WE OUT TO SOUTH AFRICA

# LETS GET IT 1962

rip to sister felicity tho

More Shelagh being flawless, like yes Laura Main is so gorgeous don’t sleep on it

”God moves in a mysterious manner" lol shelagh I just love u don’t ever change

“Our own son had polio once” yes use guilt to make your point & get ur way

take notes people

“What you did I did, where you go I go..” excuse me while my heart fucking melts 😭😭

I remember watching this Christmas Day & my mom and I did the same sigh and “aww” expression at that line

She loves the show and is going to be shook when she watches series 6 lol

Also like Shelagh’s dress is so cute I’m here for it

Lmaoo I was wondering for so long beforehand why tf they brought Fred?? They Need those engineering skills apparently

CMON BABY DO THE LOCOMOTION 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

Yess the music is lit

Trixie’s turquoise dress 👌🏻👌🏻 I want it

Tims leg braces! I actually noticed them and was lowkey proud because I rarely notice shit in the background

More Shelagh being adorable, as always

Get those vaccinations💉💉 f*ck shots though lmao I hate them

What is Patrick whispering to Shelagh? 👀👀

That’s almost right up there with what in the actual fuck did he write in those letters to get her to ditch the habit and wimple 😉😏😉 NO BUT FOR REAL WHAT DID HE SAY? We’ll never know *sigh*

I’m here for everything Trixie wears lets be real

LOL SISTER JULIENNE BASICALLY TELLING BABS SHE CANT BE FOOLING AROUND WITH HER MAN OVERSEAS

don’t even argue that she’s making a big deal with any of that “he’s a vicar, she’s a vicar’s daughter, they don’t believe in premarital sex” either cause they were making out in public before and he was grabbing her ass in a CONVENT Lmaooo (good for him he’s not letting god stop him😂) jk I’m going to hell for all the jokes I’ve made through out this show anyway

I feel though, so im letting them live

But still the married couple barely touch each other 😂 so I’m a little salty *pretend there’s a salt shaker emoji* Fu*k it though

Also Patsy and Delia have been together for a while and haven’t kissed either as far as I remember

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING AS ALWAYS 😍😍 love her coat and glasses and everything she is

And yikes that swimsuit babs lol

There’s Patsy! With the horrible horrible wig :/

Sister MJ with the Christmas cake 😭😭 aye bendito she just wants to share it

How rich with alcohol is it sister? Pass it over

By guys🙋🏼 we out this Bitch ✈️🚢

The music makes me so happy 😭❣️

“Look at you Barbara! brussel sprout green” Lmaoo ew I hate Brussel sprouts and also throwing up in general😂 sorry babs you’re gross rn

Legit I have not thrown up since I was like 8, I refuse to let myself 😭😂and 3 semesters in to university and lots of parties and drinks I’ve never actually thrown up (been pretty close though haha) *knocks on wood so I don’t jinx it*

I love Phyllis. Have I said that yet??

“..do you have anything to stop my mascara from running” lol I am Trixie

but was there no waterproof mascara yet?

uh oh here comes the asshole sergeant (I think it’s the same guy as later on?), and Tom is so reasonable lol

Shelagh’s hat with the flowers lol, but yes her cute summer dress love it, glad she only took one cardigan 😂

Lol when the sergeant tells Trixie don’t smile 😂😂

yes Dr Myra pulled up, I thought she was kinda bitchy at first and still kinda do but she’s tough and badass so I’m here for it

“I can see the caption now, English Roses dash African Skies exclamation mark!” .. “this is a new camera” LOL AGAIN PHYLLIS IS A GEM I LOVE HER SHE’S SO FUNNY

And again Trixie’s dress, it’s so pretty I want it😭😭

And again I’m Trixie, talking about needing a face mask 😂

lol Babs you smell like grajo 😂

Phyllis sniffing her 😂 “you’ve had enough barley sugar and sympathy”

The spider 😂 I don’t like spiders so I relate lol & Barbara killing it and coming at Phyllis with the clapback “there’s venom on it and some backbone”

Why do I find the linen habits funny?

Aw Shelagh “it’s at times like this I wonder what would Sister Evangelina do” I’m so glad she brought her up

Rip sister E 😰

I feel like Patrick would still feel hot in that linen suit, like it’s still a suit lol? same with the nuns but like they have no other choice

Alright I’ll give Dr Myra that though asking about radium treatment was naive of Patrick

Fred is so funny though 😂 leaving his mark by shaving lol

Throwback to Shelagh’s og bri nylon nightgown’s first appearance 😉

“What’s all this” LOL about to be the cause of this miraculous conception that’s what 😂

“It’s made of a new material called bri nylon..” Shelagh is so cute and genuinely wanting to explain 💕

Lol like cmon u know Patrick probably doesn’t give a fuck and is gonna take it off

Of course Trixie would be mad she didn’t get to set her hair

“That hat covers a multitude of sins” that’s legit one of my fav Barbara lines 😂😂

Shelagh is the only one who brought the belt to her uniform because she’s Shelagh & has to look calm, cool, collected and professional lol

Phyllis’s kink: rolodex systems 📇

lol I really do like Dr Myra, making Patrick feel dumb and I don’t care

“..and they live in a society that is gradually stripping them of any dignity or freedoms they ever had..” again I like Dr Myra a lot. I didn’t really think she had a white savior complex as some people thought because she wasn’t trying to change anything just to help. She even says later on she does it for their need not her beliefs

Proud of Babs for learning xhosa phrases

Just watching this man run makes me tired & he has like tb right? yup

LOL PHYLLIS IS LIKE DO I LOOK SCARED? kicking Fred out the drivers side 😂

“I’m all for persistence in the face of adversity” I loved this scene between Trixie and Roza 😭💕 too bad I didn’t know I was gonna end up sobbing later

Did the nurses and everyone know how bad Apartheid was?

“We have to bloom where we are planted” VANESSA REDGRAVE SAID A VARIATION OF THIS IN THE SERIES 2 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WHEN MY BBY SHELAGH WAS GETTING READY BEFORE THE WEDDING I REMEMBER

Damn tho Dr Myra didn’t have to yell at the lady :/

THE SCENERY THOUGH, I WANT TO GO TO SOUTH AFRICA

Phyllis learned some xhosa too and im not surprised, she does it all

“Do you have the means to protect this mother and myself” no, “Then I don’t wish to hear anymore about it” PHYLLIS IS HARDCORE SHE DOES NOT GIVE ANY SHITS I LOVE IT

Aw Tom watching babs with the baby

lol I’m not ready for them to have a kid so I hope they wait a series at least

“NURSE BUCKLE” im cryin laughing 😂 I need more of the Phyllis and Fred dynamic

She just had a baby IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE, YES THE MOTHERS ARE HEROINES

“Hells teeth” lol Patrick tried to make hells bells a thing but we know it can’t compare

Trixie serving another look, but whats new? But yes girl you watch those c-sections you’re up to the plate soon!

Haha she’s gonna teach Babs how to smoke

“They aren’t good for you, and the pair of you should know that” YES PHYLLIS WHY DOESNT TRIXIE KNOW OR CARE?

LOL SISTER WINIFRED we know you’re a red head

Idc, sister W used to smoke. I know it 😂 she was living it up before joining the order and lowkey while she’s been a nun, I just want to know her real name?

Of course Shelagh is worried about the lack of records but aye there’s the dress from 6.03 that magically fit even though her uniform didn’t 🙃?

“Typhoo, we brought it with us” YES I HAVE IT & I KNOW WHAT IT IS NOW & CAN RELATE

This scene with Roza & Constance & the nurses + sister W was so sweet I loved it 💕

“Why you should never be sorry, just be glad” 😭😭 there must be something in my eye that’s why it’s watery

Lol aw Trixie saying sister Winifred don’t go yet

Sister Winifred dancing 😂 go to compline

I lowkey have the sister Bernadette unhappy with being a nun vibes from sister Winifred except she’s never really unhappy? You get me? Like she’s annoyingly enthusiastic (in a cute way) most of the time but you can tell she wants to do thing nuns can’t do

“I just want to get it started so I can run him over” DO IT FRED ILL GIVE U $5

“I’m here on a missionary basis, I’m trying not to think uncharitable thoughts” LOL DONT WORRY TOM, SHELAGH’s GOT YOU COVERED

“I’m perfectly happy to think them for you” and she pushes her glasses up 😂 I LOVE The sas. I love her. & then Patrick is like “that’s my girl” & it’s cute af

Dr Myra you’re in pain, I see you

LMAO SHE MAD THAT SISTER FELICITY DIED LIKE SHE MADE THE CHOICE?

“I don’t believe in any of that” how do you tell a nun you don’t believe in God lol?

CHURCH LIT 💃🏼👏🏼

SHELAGH & SISTER WINIFRED TRYING TO COPY THEIR DANCE IS THE CUTEST THING 😭

All of them in the back of the truck is the second cutest thing 😭✨

I cherish the two seconds Shelagh and Trixie sat next to each other 😭 I just want them to be friends!! give me a cute scene between them pls, I won’t stop asking till I get one

yikes @ the water, STILL RELEVANT IN 2017! even in the US in flint

THE ELEPHANTS! ah love it. I want to go on an African safari 😭 guess I have to settle for the fake on in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.. it’s lit though I won’t lie

Mathias and Able 💔💔 and Patrick explaining “man to man”

“All medicine is good, usually” UGH THE THALIDOMIDE

No Dr Myra!!

It’s not liver cancer!! Ah now to wait till they realize

“There’s never no hope at all Patrick, it’s 1962” YES SHELAGH, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. ESPECIALLY CAUSE YOU’RE HAVING A FREAKING BABY, #LETSGETIT1962

Don’t worry Tom, leave it to the pros. Sister Julienne is gonna handle Mr Stark(e)?

SHELAGH WITH THE GOATS IM DEAD, why is she scared of goats but delivered fucking piglets in series 1? I’d be more scared of pigs?

Shelagh talking to sister MJ on the phone 😭💕 THEYRE BOTH PRECIOUS

fuck it’s Roza, brb im gonna cry now

😰😰💔💔 phantom pregnancy

Trixie hurting me more

beach time 🌞🌞

SHELAGH TURNER AKA SISTER BERNADETTE SERVING LOOKS ON THE BEACH. I’ve seen this 3 times and I’m still shook like The hat, the swimsuit, the sunglasses, I am d e a d once again😍😍 when will your fav ever?? She’s sunburnt and still killing it

LOL spicy sausage..

Phyllis in trousers >>

Also Phyllis had her camera where are the photos when they get back?

BEATRIX FRANKLIN SLAYING IN the black two piece and clubmasters AGAIN, when will your fav ever?

HOW DO I GET TO LOOK LIKE THAT? 😭😭😍😍

How am I so attached to Trixie and Shelagh’s characters like wtf?? Everything they do and say and wear, I’m just shook all the time. It’s not normal

Like Laura Main and Helen George could literally punch me in the face and I’d thank them

Why did Barbara get so mad on the beach with Tom? I feel the stress was real but damn

lol shoutout to everyone on Tumblr for pointing out that Shelagh and Patrick were being cute in the corner watching the sunset or whatever

I loved this scene between Tom and Trixie💕

MY BBY HAS COME SO FAR, SHE’S GROWN AND SHE IS THRIVING. LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO PERFORM A DAMN C-SECTION 😭

also she looks so beautiful, I want to look like that ah😍

Shelagh with the picture of Tim and Angela 😭💔💔

THEN SHE TOOK IS TO THE HOSPITAL UGH, so glad that is over it was too much

“I knew that yearning once, I was lucky because it left me when we adopted our daughter..” UGH CRYIN AND NOW SHE’S HAVING A BABY ANYWAY

BUT I LOVED THIS SCENE AS WELL

Shelagh is understanding & not judgmental of Dr Myra and I just love seeing her nursing & well I love everything she does but I’m so glad she had such great screen time

FRED DOING THE HAND MOTIONS FOR WHAT TOM WAS SAYING LMAO

“Medicine isn’t about doing what’s easy, it’s about doing what’s essential” yes Patrick, we have come full circle

there’s always a moment when I watch ctm and I’m like “I should’ve tried to become a nurse” then I’m like LOL NAH. The nursing program is so intense at my university I wouldn’t pass it anyway 😂

my mother’s a nurse though, I’ll leave it to her. After watching this episode it reminded her of how she always wanted to do a mission trip or like nurses without boarders and was trying to tell my dad she still wants to go 😂

too bad I’ve ruined her plans because my university’s tuition is ungodly & I didn’t get one damn scholarship

“No anesthesia” DR MYRA IS NO JOKE, kick ass woman.

Patrick, Shelagh and Sister J aka the dream team

How did they fake this? So crazy

“When people have no love to live for, it’s so very easy to fill that void with hate” 💔💔 something is in my eye again😭

“ Look where we ended up” “WE HAVEN’T ENDED UP ANYWHERE..and I’m not going to say anything else because I’m afraid I may speak sharply and no matter how high the stakes you don’t deserve that” HELL YEA SHELAGH, I’m so proud.

Sister W casually trying to not look at the handsome but sweaty Tom

Oh shit Dr Myra’s down

CORRA SHELAGH

Shelagh holding the umbrella and laying in the back with Dr Myra >>

Now Constance’s going into labor

Mr Stark I know you think you have a reason to be an asshole but wtf she’s a nun? Like you don’t even feel slightly disrespectful?

“I know what is it to have nothing but a photograph or two..” UGH THAT EPISODE WITH SISTED J’S OLD BOYFRIEND KILLED ME

I love Sister Julienne, I hope we can see hear more of her past.

Lol pbs cut that scene of Babs singing but why?

“Then we have no choice. We have to operate ourselves.” YOU CAN DO IT TRIXIE

the first time watching this my anxiety was on 1000

Phyllis tying up Trixie’s gown up like they’re suiting up for battle

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND IM STILL NERVOUS

THE BABY IS STUCK LIKE I WOULDVE FREAKED TF OUT

this is also why I won’t be a nurse or doctor lol, I’m always panicking

BABS PUSH THE BABY BACK UP

AYE GRACIAS DIOS, ALL IS WELL

“Well done Trixie, I couldn’t be more proud of you” 😭💕 me either

Yea I say you earned a cigarette

Better late than never to make amends I guess, but get that clean water going asap no rocky

The Turners are back 👏🏼

THE CAKE TIN 😭😭

& Able and Mathias 😭😭

Aw Tom proposing ☺️ I don’t really feel anything for them as a couple but this was a cute moment 😭

SHELAGH AND PATRICK GIVING TIM’S LEG BRACES TO MATHIAS AH MY HEART

And they got the water 😭

I LIED BEFORE EVERYONE JUMPING UNDER THE WATER PUMP IS THE CUTEST THING😭💕👏🏼✨

“Not all gifts come tied in ribbons, or at a special time of year. Some blessings surprise us arriving unlabeled and we embrace them in a blaze of joy” DAMN IT VANNESSA IM CRYIN THANKS (also now it seems like foreshadow for baby Turner)

Roza as secretary!! My heart again

I bet Trixie took over like a badass while Dr Myra was recovering

THE GOATS HAHA

PHYLLIS TAKING ALL THOSE PHOTO’S AT THE END IS THE GREATEST PART 😭💖 IM SO HAPPY AND MY HEART GROWS LIKE THE GRINCH EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS SHOW

LOL THE NUNS GOT PHOTOBOMBED BY A CHICKEN

AND CUE REDGRAVE

“But though they’d given their labor and their love, they also took and they learned and they went home wiser, enriched in ways they could not count”

The End 😭😭💕💕😰😰

Ugh I don’t care, that special was spectacular and I loved every minute.

#call the midwife #I'm TRASH FOR THIS SHOW #lets get it 1962 #am I still cryin?#yes #I'm still not over it #my commentaries™

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survivormyanmar-blog · 8 years ago

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Ep. #9 - “Liars and Snakes” - Keegan

Returning from Tribal Council, where Brett was blindsided, Keegan and Tommy were left on the bottom. The Immunity challenge was announced it would be Crack the Code. Tommy ended up solving his code in an impressive 3 guesses and won Immunity for the second straight round. In The Cave, Ashley was able to find the Hidden Immunity Idol and Jay found a challenge advantage. The girls alliance started planning a split vote, with the help of Linus and Sam, to take out Keegan with the plan being to split the votes 5-3-2 with 5 on Keegan, 3 on Sam, and 2 from the minority on Christian. Sam and Ting Ting had other plans though. They wanted to use this split vote to their advantage and team up with Tommy and Keegan to take out Christian bringing the vote to 4-3-3 and theoretically send Christian home. Their plan would have succeeded but Leah accidentally voted for Keegan instead of Sam like she was supposed to. The vote ended up with a tie of 4-4-2 between Keegan and Christian with Keegan being sent home on the live revote.

There’s some snakes in this game.

LOOK WHAT WE JUST PULLED OFF. Saved Christian AND got rid of freaking Brett. This is great. Keegan going around saying we got some snakes… yeah you, buddy. Byeeeeee

hmmmmmmmm there’s some fishy business in the leftover ladies. not so leftover anymore huh. time to #staywoke

stop talking keegan like sometimes the vote doesn’t go your way

ANYWAY i am READY for this challenge i’m gonna get it DONE.

I’m not liking my chances anymore. With Jay and Linus (supposedly) flipping, that leaves Tommy, Sam and myself on the outs. Wow. Liars and snakes.

I’m so disappointed in Linus. Jay is still a lying skeeze but she wasn’t always on my side so whatever I guess. Linus flipping made me lose every bit of respect I had for him.

you know this is just a time where a winner shows what they’re made of. i’m just gonna have to put my head down and be more social.

If Jay wanted to flip, I don’t get why she’d take Linus with her? Like it was fine numbers wise for one person to do that. Maybe I’m underestimating Jay and Linus’s relationship. Maybe I’ll need to get rid of it sooner.

Okay, hold up. CAN WE DISCUSS HOW TOMMY IS GOING TO GET IMMUNITY YET A FUCKING GAIN? Literally all that boy is good at is getting lucky. I am so annoyed. I took 15 freaking moves to get those colors in order and he comes hopping up in my PMs like “ Oh I did it in 4, Trevor and Owen freaked out” YEAH CUZ YOU GOT LUCKY BETCH. Literally if we have an immunity that actually has to do with skills coming up he is going down. Because sweetie, yo luck about to run out.

Well, today sucks. As expected, I woke up with people being pissed at me. Keegan and Tommy are giving me the third degree about flipping and Sam is either ignoring me or not on. Not entirely sure. Hopefully I’ll be able to patch things up and keep my game moving forward. Only two more votes until I’ll have advanced my placement. I just want to survive until then.

I can’t trust any of these snake mothafuckas NOBODY LIKES SUSHI?! uh uh. not on my watch. guess it’s just me and ting ting against the world right now.

Well I just found an immunity idol everyone…. This is rather exciting. Last time I had one of these I never got to use it. I am hoping to literally not tell anyone and keep it to myself. When my gut tells me I will use it. I just hope I dont fuck this up.

Me when Tommy got 4 moves and i had 6: http://68.media.tumblr.com/bc124db1202342df51aada860dbc837a/tumblr_o2ckgbOV6I1uwwhj6o2_400.gif

Oh shit waddup I got an advantage in the cave. I’m hoping the ‘oh shit waddup’ meme will be dead by the time everyone’s reading this, but just remember that it’s still relevant now and I have an advantage. It’s just a generic challenge advantage, but I’m hoping it’ll help me survive next tribal and advance my placement in the game. I’m kind of nervous at this point because nobody has said anything about the vote to me, but it’s only, like 10:00am my time, so maybe it’s okay. Paranoia is just my only way to live.

okay so it might be time for myself and tommy to part ways, but he doesn’t need to know that yet. it’s just a very big gamble to take because i might swing over with the girls to take out keegan as a set-up for tommy next round. but at the same time, if it’s a flashy move, then tommy might be on to us and do all he can to keep his ass off the block because I know that he’s a savvy player. if i stay with tommy he’s just going to make the target on me bigger, as he’s stuck up for me more than once and people might get sus about it. i said earlier that i needed to play the game fore me and now it’s my chance.

That’s right, another confession .8 seconds later. Sam came to me this morning because a couple of the girls were, in his words, 'sussed out’ that him and Tommy were getting close and he basically threw Tommy under the bus as hard as a person can physically be thrown under a bus. He said that his relationship with Tommy was totally one-sided and proceeded to lay out Tommy’s entire plan to get me back for voting out Brett last round. He wants to make me paranoid enough to flip on the girl’s alliance and piss them off, then get me next round. Which would be the same placement as I got in Transylvania. Dick move, Tommy. I’m not going to be a ninth place flop again. Fuck that and fuck you. I’m hoping that by the time episodes are getting released, we’ll be alright and at least on speaking terms because this is just a game, but for now I’m here to fucking win it and nobody is standing in my way.

Ok let’s just talk about the girls alliance for a sec because it’s going to blow soon and i don’t want to be caught in the aftermath of it. Like these girls are good at the game, most of them are actual favs, which makes me super nervous. and this vote is either going to be a total flip/ blindside or it’s going to go badly and this game will be fucked. Amanda: ok literally haven’t talked to her that much so i’m not sure how much i can trust her right now. like with the steffen vote it got super flipped and she had a part in that. Ashley: idk about her right now. tbh i haven’t talked with her a bunch since the steffen vote but i feel like i can trust her. a lot of people apparently think that i’m funneling info to her (which i’m not) so like wtf… Christian: sorry but she needs to go. this sounds bitchy but i know that she cheated and i just feel uncomfortable with her still in the game. and truthfully i haven’t talked with her like at all so there’s basically no trust there Jay: i trust her enough right now. which is something. i hope that she doesn’t totally blindside me but we’ll see Keegan: ok i feel really bad for keegan. like his closest ally was voted out and i frankly don’t know either him or brett so it’s difficult for me to vote for him. tommy, keegan, and i are trying to flip the vote this tribal to actually keep this game somewhat fair and fun to play. Leah: truthfully i haven’t talked to her a bunch but the time i did she was hilarious and i want some trust there but idk Linus: ok linus. his decision making skills are a little off. like can he not see that the all girls alliance is targeting guys. he is probably going to voted out soon if he doesn’t wake up like seriously. Sam: i know you’re saving yourself but seriously…. ^^^ look at what i wrote for linus Tommy: let’s make it to the end. Owen: fuck the cave Trevor: fuck you and the cave

I’m about 95% sure I’m the vote tonight. Ting Ting told me that Linus and Sam have jumped ship and that I’m the target. She said she’d maybe work with me and flip the vote, but im not getting my hopes up. Tommy and I are doing everything we can to shift the votes onto someone else. He’s my closest ally now, and the only person I fully trust.

Last tribal I deadass thought I was gone. But when Amanda messaged me and let me know that my name was going around for the vote that night, and then the girls decided to band together with Linus and I ended up staying 7-4? Whew. When the votes were read and Brett left? https://68.media.tumblr.com/7eff5ed231e3df9d02c9b91e458b220b/tumblr_oiib4pQ8wh1ulaj3eo1_400.gif

Side note: never should have called me a goat, because now I have a fire lit under my ass. :) I’m woke and playing the game like I said I would. Lay low and seem nonthreatening then at merge start making moves. Tommy messaged me today for the first time in over a month, and we’ve been having a really nice convo. But why now? Why not try to message me before you decided to write my name down last tribal. Funny thing is, I’m actually glad he decided to come to me first and not me coming to him. It would look better towards the girls alliance, making it seem like he’s messaging me in case he doesn’t win immunity the next round and just to save his ass in general. Because honestly, I kind of need Tommy in this game. I want to make a move(yes I would actually flip on the girls alliance, because there are a couple threats *cough* Jay *cough* Ashley), and I can use Tommy as a number to take one or both of them out. I’m thinking next tribal or the tribal after. Stay tuned. ;) https://68.media.tumblr.com/538035f57e848c860abf66afdadf716e/tumblr_oiib4pQ8wh1ulaj3eo2_r1_400.gif

Tommy, Sam, Ting Ting, Linus and myself might be working together. We might be tying the vote. I really hope I can count on everyone and that this plan works out. I need some kind of plan to work out, statistically it has to happen, right?

I’ve been wrong on so many things today. The girls are splitting the votes, 5 for me, 3 for Sam. However, Sam and Ting Ting, who both have said they’d vote with, are supposed to be writing my name down. If they both keep their word, Christian will be voted out instead. I hope this plan works. I’m not ready to go yet.

I’M AN EMOTIONAL BEAN. I’m a wreck, I’m on the bottom. I literally cried on call with Sam and then Linus. I just feel really tired it has been a stressful day and I don’t feel like talking much. I’m just taking a backseat on this and relaxing with my second immunity necklace <3. I’m gonna just pray.

okay so here’s what happened today i woke up i ate breakfast i talked to jay about securing my spot, went very well i called tommy to kind of put him off, but i really wanted to gun for him the next vote i went to practice I WENT TO THE BEACH i ate 2 hot dogs and 3 cheeseburgers while talking to a crackedt keegan about a plan, when i really wanted to vote for him i came back from the beach i called with tommy and found out he was upset because some of the girls were calling him annoying (which actually fuckin sucks by the way like even if you don’t wanna play with someone lay off the personal stuff) ting ting tells me she wants to flip the vote TING TING WANTS TO FLIP THE VOTE?! so yeah. she actually does, and since the girls are planning to split, it could end up being a 4-3-3 vote for christian. and in that case, jay gets #shook and the girls alliance could be on its way to crumbling. the best part is i’m still in the game, and so is tommy. if it works, though. i need for this to work like there is so so so so so much riding on this please make it work

Calmish round. We are splitting the vote. Sam is jumping. (Important notes that dont really need a writeup and are self explanitory) I’ve actually realized I may just be in about the perfect position (Hopefully haha). Basically Im on the outside of the majority alliance, but Im in the affiliate position where they arent going to vote me out since Im voting with them. An alliance always turns on its self before cutting everybody on the outside, which means if I lay low I should be relatively safe until the girls alliance cannibalizes, and at that point I will have some control in the game ^_^. Tommy and Keegan tried to flip me back over, which would have been something to consider but their story of how the vote would work was completely ridiculous and basically boiled down to “just vote with us…. It will work out…. Trust… We cant tell you how but it will work…” Ooops :P . As always wish my luck at tribal, and hopefully Im not a complete moron in the assumption that eventually the girls alliance will turn on itself and if they do and I do get the the end, Ill be able to make a serious case of a utr game :D .

Keegan came to me wanting me to flip and vote Jay and its SOOOOOO tempting omg but i cant do it this week. I lowkey hope he somehow stays and Sam leaves and then we can vote out Jay next week or the week after cause honestly at that point id prob be down. I just cant this week the numbers would be off too much. But she def needs to leave soon

#mustlearntoadapt #confessionals

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natasha-talks · 6 years ago

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Gone-

There’s a part of me that i can’t get back. No matter how hard i try, it’s never coming back. It’s gone. It’s my fault. My fault for trusting people. My fault for falling for the wrong person. My fault for being too childish. My fault for being too stubborn. My fault for being so stupid. My fault for being too nice. It’s all my fault. Shit is getting real. I thought i was about to recover but no. I need help. I need a few good words to carry on. I need people to remind me that life is worth living and i need someone to remind me that i am useful because the truth is, i feel so shitty about myself with everyone around me making me feel like one ugh i’m tired. Too tired. I stopped taking my meds. I hate that my mood is unstable and my skin is breaking out and everything is falling apart. I am down to the very core. I am sorry for myself. I will end this because i don’t think there will be a good end for me. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to survive but i failed. You have no idea what its like to wake up every single day and say “Today is going to be a good day! I’m gonna be okay”, get out from bed and pass by the mirror inside your room and damn, you hate every single thing that you see in the mirror. You keep on smiling and tell yourself again that its going to be okay even though you know that you’re lying to yourself. You have no idea what its like to step into your bathroom and ask yourself “Is today going to be the day?” whenever you look at the cutter. You have no idea what its like to live every single day knowing the fact that nobody understands you’re in pain, mentally and physically. You have no idea what its like to know that boys are looking at your body and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have no idea what you really have until it’s gone. You have no idea what its like to know that there’s nobody there for you when you’re about to cry in college and the toilet is the only place you could think of (Or maybe the rooftop). Yes, i’m an overthinker. I’ll create situations in my head in order for me to prepare for the worst. Why? That’s because i hate surprises. To my parents; I’m sorry. I am truly sorry. I’m toxic as fuck. You have no idea what its like to get panic attacks at 3am when everyone else is sleeping. You have no idea how painful it is not knowing who to call because your parents wont see the pain and they will never understand. A part of me misses him because he was there to answer my calls no matter what. My friends kept on telling me to go back to him. Why wont they fucking understand that i will never go back to him after everything that he did to me. I am traumatised. Still. Every time i heard his name, it brings me back to 19th January. I can still see his face shouting at me. I can still see him raising his hands and pulled my hijab. I can still see him hit my head. I can still see him pulling me back into the car when i wanted to jump off from the car. I can still see him chasing me in the parking lot and pushed me. I can still see him shouting “Perempuan sundal” at the main entrance of my college and everyone looked at me. I can still see him pushing me to the ground and shouted “Get back in the car la sial”. I can still see his looks when he kicked my womb. Now you tell me, how am i supposed to forgive and forget? You tell me how am i supposed to go back to the person who claimed he loves me when the truth? He put me in so much pain. The reason why im here is because i promised myself not to share anything with people unless if they wanna know. I just need a few good people to love me when i dont even know how to love myself. The last person who said “I love you” randomly to me was Najaa. It felt so good to have someone to remind you that you are loved without you doing anything for him/her. Yes, i feel so insignificant most of the time. I stopped talking to everyone in class. Now it all make sense. When you’re smart, everybody wants to be your friend. But when youre dumb, nobody wants to be with you. A and R, you guys won. Congratulations. I crave for the crazy kind of love. When i am not afraid to be myself around you because no matter what, i know that you love me for me. I want my lover to be my bestfriend, my brother and also my partner in crime. I just need someone who is down for long night drives, a day at the museum, impromptu roadtrips, rollercoaster rides (MY FAV!!), food hunting and so many more. I did all of these before with someone i never truly loved. It felt different. I want to have someone who can grab my hand and cuddle me. Someone who understands my likes and dislikes. Someone who will not control me because there’s nothing to control since I don’t even talk to guys. Someone who will just hug me when i’m scared or mad because istg, hugs can heal everything. But i dont know what i want anymore. I don’t see my future. I dont see myself graduating, i dont see myself having real friends except for 1 or 2. I dont see myself getting married. I dont see myself having a family. I don’t see myself having kids. I used to work my ass off because i had my future planned out with him. We did our very best because we wanted to provide the best for our kids so that they will be proud of having us as their parents. Yes. that’s why. Cringe all u want but that’s the fucking truth. I dont see myself being supportive anymore. I dont see myself laughing out loud, i dont see myself studying abroad. Useless as fuck. Tell me what’s the point of living? Somebody just please tell me. Tell me whats the point of living when you’re useless? Nobody likes having you around. Youre ugly, fat, stupid and everything negative = to you, Natasha. It’s all your fault. I’m tired. I am so so tired. I’m tired of seeing the doctor too when i know he will say the same damn thing every fucking time. “Don’t stress yourself too much yea. We don’t want you to snap then u tahu everything will be over kan?” Wtf are u talking about? How am i supposed to choose? It’s not like i’m the one who is asking for it. Shit. Then snap the shit outta me. Let me die since everyone wants that to happen right? I’m tired of dragging people into my problems. They deserve to be happy. I want to watch people happy and i never want them to feel what im feeling because istg its fucking painful. I’m done. Perhaps, people will start appreciating me once i’m gone.

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