#im sorry if me venting is annoying to hear rn. everything just is bad and i am finding it

[arcadequeerz]

Genuinely I have no motivation to keep Going anymore.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi I am so sorry for dumping things on you but you talk about mental health on here quite a lot and I’m just having such an awful time lately, it’s getting really hard to get out of bed again and keep up with basic hygiene and I used to just cope by imagining that I could just talk to matty about it and now I can’t help but feel like he would be disgusted by me in my current state so there’s that and just reaching out to friends feels like a chore and makes me feel like I’m being a burden. I’m so sorry this is incoherent and I’m so sorry I’m just rambling in your asks but finding coping mechanisms is getting so hard. Im really sorry if this has made you uncomfortable, feel free to delete it if it has, I really mean it

Hello, my dear 💝

I want to say thank you so much for reaching out. It means a lot to me to have these sometimes difficult conversations on here, so I appreciate your vulnerability. Especially because I know from personal experience how hard it is to open up and not feel like you’re going to annoy people and stuff.

You can always come on here and vent to me, alright?

Also, I wanna point out that Matty MOST DEFINITELY WOULDN’T be disgusted with you! I bet he has experienced this first hand. What you describe here are very common symptoms of depression. Ones that I (and so many people I know) struggle with as well. Hygiene and appetite are the first things to take a hit for me, when my depression worsens. I bet Matty has felt it too. I mean, from Nothing Revealed/ Everything Denied, I’m guessing yeah he knows what that’s like. Which, I think, would make him uniquely equipped at understanding and helping you through it. It’s always easier to talk to someone who knows what it’s like.

Take care of yourself, alright, hun? 💗 this means doing what you can, when you can, and without judgment. None of that telling yourself that you’re bad or incapable or a loser because you can’t get your health and environment in control rn. None of it is true. You’re battling a real illness. The equivalent of carrying heavy rocks, strapped to your shoulders at all times. Do you think that it would be easy for the average person to cook, clean, go out and about, if they had several tons of rocks attached to them all day everyday? Mental illness is PHYSICALLY and emotionally draining. Be patient with yourself and remember that you’ll get better soon. It’ll pass. I promise.

Wanna hear from you again soon! Please keep me posted on how you’re doing. Even if you’re not doing any better. I would like to know, please. I’ll be thinking of you and sending you all my love.

[worksby-d]

Hey Destinee. I hope you’re doing well. I just have to vent about something real quick to someone. So, my grandmother passed away 2 days ago, not to trauma dump or make things awkward, but it’s relative to what im sharing. And the day I found out, I ended up having to cancel some plans and consequently tell my friends about it, since I had to cancel some stuff. Anyway, most of my friends have been super supportive and sweet, reaching out to me and seeing if I needed anything. Except for this one girl. The day it happened, she said she was sorry, and then went right back to normal conversation. Like she’s been texting me about being excited about moving into her new apartment and she’s pissed about stuff that she has to do for her apartment and I’m like…hello?? Are you tone-deaf? Do you really think I care about or wanna hear about this shit right now? She hasn’t even asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. It’s not like I expect her to send me a box of fucking chocolates or come to my house while I cry…but talking about all the stuff that’s going on in your life after I JUST shared that my close relative died?? Cmon now. And it’s not that I think she’s a bad person or a bad friend, she can just be extremely ignorant and sometimes selfish. She was raised as an only child and had pretty ‘well off’ parents and sort of had everything handed to her I guess. But she’s a genuinely sweet person and I honestly believe that if she knew she was upsetting me, she’d feel terrible about it and apologize. I just don’t want to bring it up bc I don’t want to make things awkward and I have too much going on rn to worry about arguing with a friend. You know? Anyway, it’s just annoying cause I honestly think I’m a pretty good friend and I pride myself on how I treat my friends, and it’s frustrating when you don’t get the same treatment back that you would give to others. But thanks for your time and letting me vent to this weird tumblr void haha❤️

hi!! oh my, first off, i'm so sorry to hear that :( my grandma passed away last month and it was the hardest thing i've ever gone through, so i hope you're taking care of yourself and continue having good support <3 but that's very strange your friend is doing that. but i think i agree, she probably doesn't realize :(((( i think if it's something you haven't gone through it's kinda hard to comprehend. i've probably done that to people if i think back lol :/ but it's super draining and you're valid for feeling upset about it :(

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

[tayegi]

Hey Lu! I'm sorry you have to deal with such bullshit, like you are an amazing writer and hearing that your work is being stolen really breaks my heart. Props to you for being nice the first time around, because as someone that's dabbling in writing myself, i might've lost my shit the first time around if i saw my work being stolen

Anonymous said:Honestly I admire you so much for not deleting everything you have ever written because of people like the wattpad author.... that’s fucking crazy.

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, I've never sent you a message because you're already inundated with so many. But I wanted to send some support after what happened with that anencephalic rat who blatantly plagiarized your work. I'm a TA in my uni's computer science department and I posted some of my code online as a reference for my students in lab, until one student pulled all my code from github and submitted it as their own. Safe to say I don't provide code samples anymore. (1)

Anonymous said:Whatever you decide to do with your writing from now on, I just want to say I really enjoy all your work and I'm so sorry that you had your work stolen like this. Looooove you (hehe love LU) (2)

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, I’ve always been a quiet follower of yours, but after this plagiarism incident, I had to send something. I’m sorry you have to deal with ignorant and immature people like her. I legit understand why you would want to stop writing after something like this. You gave her a warning and she’s just not understanding how polite you’ve been about it (imagine once she gets to college, yikes). Anyways, we’re always here to love and support you. We can get through this!!! ❤️❤️❤️

peachyguki said:This is so bs. People dont understand that THIS IS ILLEGAL. SUCH DUMBASSES. I feel so fucking bad for you Lu...jfc she better comprehend what she did was wrong.

taebunsuga said:Fuuccckkk I knew it abt the plagiarizing thing but I wasn’t sure,, I was reading Pour Up and thought it seemed awfully familiar and was like is this new rules, but then thought maybe I was just reading a fic, but then she mentioned the office hoes theme part and I’m like shit omi this is new rules and then next thing I asked her abt it and so she posts this whole ass chapter abt how her plagiarism wasn’t intentional 🤧🤧💀💀

Anonymous said:This! Entire! Situation! Is! Whack! Srsly she's so dumb thinking she wouldn't face repercussions at some point. If it means anything tho her writing isn't great and I think it's safe to say we all know you're superior here. I really hope this gets sorted out and she faces some type of consequences

Anonymous said:There's nothing I hate more than a theif and I'm so sorry you have to experience this.

lucielux said:I wasn't on tumblr much today so I just saw this whole plagiarism thing and I'm soooo sorry this is happening to you :( idgaf if I can't report her for ripping off your fic, I'm reporting her for hate or something else then but Wattpad won't stop me from reporting her this is just not okay fam. Anyway hope you're okay girl ❤️

lucielux said:Lu I know you're off the internet for today, but just in case this is still an issue when you come back, when you report for hate Wattpad will send you an email asking you to complete a form. In the form you should include what point of the "Code of Conduct" was violated, and one of them is "Don't share stories that aren't yours". SO what I'm getting at is y'all can't repot plagiarism but you can repot for hate and then add that plagiarism happened. In any case, hope you're feeling better 💖

Anonymous said:I'm so sorry Lu. You definitely don't deserve this shit. She's being two faced and doesn't understand consequences. Honestly, I don't think she will understand unless you file a formal complaint. Her behaviour is shameful to say it lightly.... All my love you Lu!! I hope this bullshit ends soon.

Anonymous said:I don't get why people want her to send them the pdf files of her rip off??? why don't thy just like, read the original one here??? Instead of supporting plagiarism??? like what

Anonymous said:how is she so dedicated to plagiarizing, willing to send pdfs'? rather than spending time just trying to write herself.. 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said:why don't you do the same? send us all pdf files of your writing and let's see if she'll continue to write "her original story" HA! her fans will realize that she's not so innocent and original when in a few weeks she still doesn't have any more additions to "her story"

Anonymous said:It looks like people don't like going back on their opinions, like: I like this author and I'll keep liking it no matter what, oh look she was accused of of plagiarism, but i said I like her I can't go back, I won't even see the original story, I'm just gonna say I don't believe in it" IT'S OK, to like an author and then if this author do shit you can and SHOULD be disappointed and stop supporting this bad thing they done, this actually apply to any artist,actor,musician+

latebloomer19

submitted:

I’m so sad and angry at the same time that the plot was originally yours and it was plagiarized by this author on wattpad. Honestly that became my fave fic tho because of the girl mc’s attitude and character. Now that I have found the real author I’m going to support the story so much💕💕💕 I downloaded the tumblr app just because I want to read your other fics hahaha 💕💕💕

littlekookieboy said:Omg I’m so outraged and the fact she’s trying to play victim with everything is even worse! I really hope she gets reported and she learns not to do plagiarism anymore. Seriously ur one the first writers I’ve ever read from here and seeing as how she has the audacity to do something like this is disgusting. Anyways I hope all goes well!!!!

canadiankae said:smh kids these days. I am actually astounded at her stupidity for announcing that she straight up stole your work and then tried to play victim. She'll get what's coming to her when she forgets to source for her assignments in school... then try to say she came up with it lol. If she keeps it up we'll help you take care of it. No way i'm letting my favorite writer go through this again

Anonymous said:im rly sorry all of this is happening to you. i wish i could do something to make u feel better and reassure you that we all care about you and hate seeing people do this shit to you. big hugs

Anonymous said:Lu, have you ever tried any online plagiarism check? I think it would be fun if you showed her the 99% similarity with New Rules. But I don't get it. Doesn't she feel embarrassed? I think its so sad.

Anonymous said:hoenstly the whole 'i spent hours on it tho' bs shes trying to pull is so annoying cause like if you were really willing to spend that much time plagiarizing someone elses work, why couldn't you have just written your own stuff during that time??? i just ugh im like mad for you if that makes any sense just urgghh

Anonymous said:I'm sorry you're having to deal with this shit. You are much more talented and well thought out than someone who cant think of their own ideas. and I've genuinely loved a lot of your fics. New rules is an amazing story that I always check for updates on and I love what you try to convey through your stories. It's disgusting that someone would do that to your work but I just want to remind you how appreciated your work is by actual fans. Love you!!!! I hope you feel better!

Anonymous said:Tbh i am so sorry that you have to deal with this situation now... you deserve so much better. I hope this thing ends quickly before upsetting you any further..

Anonymous said:Do it, file the report. If you don't you're letting her win. She has to learn her lesson and realize that she's in the wrong

Anonymous said:Ah! I sent the whole pour up ordeal and i’m so sorry i mistyped and put Tumblr instead of Wattpad because I was rushing to let you know! I’m glad it’s sorted because I became so angry that she plagiarised your work so blatantly! 💜

tywriteskpop said:I hope this thievery issue is resolved soon! I know I’d be devastated if my hard work was taken like that. Hopefully all of the support from your readers and many others will help convince her she is in the wrong. Please don’t stress too much about it. 🙏🏻 You have many people backing you up on this, and the option to report her for plagiarism is there when you’re ready, should she not cooperate. I wish many blessings to you, friend.

Anonymous said:Ok but like plagiarism on Wattpad is such a problem??? I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this rn 💕💕💕

sheridandwyer said:I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this! As a fellow writer, it breaks my heart to see a story that you've worked your ass off to craft and make original just stolen like this! I will DEFINITELY be leaving a comment venting my frustrations)in a respectful way, of course.) We've got your back and your followers will fight for you. Please know you're not in this fight alone!

Anonymous said:Lu! I'm so sorry about this whole problem! I went on wattpad to see the story and your comment is there. I cannot even fathom how much you work for your fics, but I do know how much it means to you. We will help you out any way we can and take that story down. It's not acceptable this person continues to get credit fot it. We love you, Lu!

Anonymous said:hey hon!!! i read her story before reading yours (after finding out her irresponsible actions) & i really want to say, yours is wayyyyyy better

acucarebiscoito said:Omg Lu this wattpad plagiarism thing is really annoying, what can we do to help? I love your work and I'm so angry and sad that they are disrespecting you this way ):

awkward-kooks said:Oh babe :( people are awful, stealing works is exactly why I'm scared to write on sns :/ hope they come to the realization that what they're doing is wrong and remove the story.

thank you guys so much for all of your love and support. Seriously, without you guys, I wouldve been so upset and frustrated right now. But it’s only because of this incredible outpouring of love and all of your support in talking to her, reporting her, etc. that we’ve gotten through this. And all of your suggestions are so hilarious and creative! I cracked up reading this alsjdfklsdfj i love you guys so much

[cloneslugs]

please king send me ANY sniper headcanons

(idk why im so tired and everything feels so funny rn but i’ll throw you a bone)

actually i’ll edit it here

trans. (pre/no op) he wears a binder on the job but only if he’s in a sufficient sniper nest but even then he’ll take it off bc thats self care baby !! if he knows he’s gonna be running around he’s usually fine w/ his thick ass vest + baggy shirt + undershirt combo :)

he. gay =___= + mostly just. sleeps around but is a romantic at heart but also. not really. he just kinda ? minds his business and like doesnt think too hard about things that require lots of thinking

mama’s boy!!!!!!!!! but tries to emulate his papa (sunglasses B) )

hes not stupid but he prefers simplicity 

POOR HYGIENE he brushes his teeth sometimes and maybe brushes his hair but. he pees in jars + the sink of HQ if there are none available and listen,, that camper dont exactly have running water

he doesnt know how to start conversations at all and actually doesnt. care for talking too much (which is funny bc he hangs out w/ scout a lot,,, but ig scout does all the talking) he jumps in convos if he has a decent/funny enough point but mostly minds his business

he wears a hat for added height + actually all his wardrobe is planned for his utmost social comfort

he flusters easily + hates it, like if you like corner him in a conversation + he cant figure out what to say he just =/////= + he doesnt know how to flirt easily if u flirt w/ him he’ll like stammer out something stupid or just pretend he didnt hear and like. clean his knife or something

he gets super twitchy/fidgety under pressure like above or if you annoy him, he like. flicks his bobblehead or chews on his glasses/fingernails/anything and gets tappy with his hands, he’s pretty good at sitting still most of the time so these are his Tells for irritation/that he’s bothered

he visits home when he can but usually its just screaming matches and he just storms out of the house and does some farm chores bc he still loves them

he’s really bad at like reading/pronunciation (i mean. he can read) he’s bad at spelling

he has a weird relationship w/ ms pauling like they obvs get along but they dont really talk much + she just gets uncomfy in long silences sometimes but they swap recipes and killing tips, he trust her to make calls most of the time and will just listen to her and let the others compromise it out if need be but he’ll interject if he thinks its serious enough(extra info: he just calls her “pauling” unless he’s being really super serious or feels a little snarky)  

he kinda wants a dog but they cant climb into sniper nests and what if it gets hurt

he’s. squirrelier than he lets off and likes to climb on things + also he has good aim with just throwing things

not to veer off canon but he knew he was adopted since he was little

he’s good at falling asleep anywhere in any position + can nod off w/ a sniper in his hand (sometimes thats not the best when youre waiting for a target)

he tries to call his parents at least 3 times a week / every other day if he can manage that

he likes his sunglasses for another reason bc he can snooze a little if theyre having a meeting a nobody can really tell (okay some of them can but listen)

he loves being up high !! no matter the weather he loves it thunderstorms or heavy snow or sunny days its a blast !! and he likes to drive around w/ the windows down and the breeze in his face its :)

listen ik this is canon but the boy is Mentally Ill but brushes it off around people and hates talking about it and gets all clammed up when its brought up by like. anyone strangers or people close to him (see: meet the director/meet the sniper(w/ his dad))

he loves seeing new places but he doesnt care much for like. trudging around the wilderness like?? mucking around in swamps or something like that, he’s there for the view and doesnt need the big exploration + running around that some of the others do

he’s self taught at bow and arrow + picked it up when he was way younger bc he used to think it was cool + sexy now he doesnt really. give it a 2nd thought

he’s actually big emo + has a big heart esp for loved ones but he’s good at hiding if things hurt him outside of his initial response(idk if that makes sense, like if his dad said he hated him he’d like visibly :O at first but after the shock he’d be B/ and maybe just go cry in his camper hfdhsjfk) 

he’s pretty blunt and isnt afraid to just ? point things out to people point blank and he doesnt really get?? why people get pissy

he like. snipes + all but he doesnt really believe in hunting all that much (like outside of the necessities for it, but even then he wouldnt participate)

i think he’s defo the most ?? standoffish out of the group like even spy hangs out w/ scout but he just doesnt feel a need to jump into convos and doesnt consider how much you talk to someone to be equal to the value of how good of friends you are like maybe everyone feels all “oh he doesnt talk much so we arent close” but he doesnt see that he just thinks “we sit in a room together + they talk/we do crazy shit together, ergo we are close” he does genuinely care for their well being most of the time

he’s not very touchy and prefers when people keep a distance + he’s just. awkward

he gets irritated easily in social situations/when talking, he’s easy to talk over, he gets more annoyed w/ what people say over what they do, he hates talking to strangers, he doesnt like when people pester him about his personal life, he generally doesnt give a shit about gossip + all + doesnt nose about in other people’s business like i said he just kinda minds his own and stays in his own lane and defo gets involved in the least amount of drama

he hangs out w/ the others but he spends most of his time on his own if he can, if he does hang out w/ them he’s kinda a wall flower and just watches the rest of them + has his fun that way besides interjecting a little quip here and there (sorry i feel like im repeating myself w/ some of these)

sometimes he gets broody and moody 

he talks about his job w/ really high esteem and he honestly thinks what he does is pretty great and he definitely doesnt think the others are below him but he likes to say what he does isnt mindless merc work its assassination just bc it makes him feel better about himself + its a good argument against his dad

he. hangs out w/ scout and just listens to the kid ramble about whatever + maybe nods or Mhmms along when needed but keeps his mouth shut but maybe gives Big Adult Advise thats maybe not always that great but it sounds smart, sometimes he vents to him bc scouts dumb and wont get it/remember it and his naive/dummy advise sometimes cheers him and actually helps 

i can probably come up w more but this is super long and repetitive F

[smuttyfairy]

i am so fucking frustrated rn because my dad arrived here from the us with his new wife after seven years. i'm still mad at him for neglecting his responsibilities to us and what he did to my mom but i hate how everyone is so against to us seeing him. i missed him so much. i love my dad a lot. i haven't seen him since i was in elementary and i dont know what to do anymore. im just really really sad about the whole thing bc my mom's ok with meeting him but my dad insists on bringing his new wife+

his new wife is nice and i get why my dad fell in love with her. shes nice and calm and shes takes care of my dad dearly. shes very supportive of him and maybe thats why dad liked her. my mom is nice too but when my dad went overseas to work he cheated on my mom a couple times. i get why my mom hated my dad. i hate him too for it and i will never forgive him for the terrible things he put us through but no matter what happens. hes still my dad. i havent talked to him properly for the past+

6yrs (and maybe a couple months) that he wasnt with us. ive only recently talked to him and i just really wanna see my dad you know. my mom wont let me and i understand where shes coming from. but i hate how controlling she is of everything. she kinda hates me right now for always talking to my dad and getting excited for his arrival here. im just torn between everything. everything makes me wanna runaway or hurt myself because this is all too much for me. even my relatives are not helping my+

mom get over the whole thing. they're provoking her and drilling her head with bad thoughts instead of telling her to let go of thing. i know it's hard and maybe a little insensitive of me to tell my mom to just let it go and be happy and i should never get tired of comforting her but it's so hard for me you know. im only human and im 17 yrs old. ive been dealing with this ever since my early elementary years. im so done and fed up with everything. it's kinda ungrateful of me to say that i hate+

my life because we're pretty well off but yes i do hate my life because i want a whole family. i would sound like a total hypocrite if i say that the material things in life doesnt make me happy. it only gives me temporary joy & what i want is permanent happiness. im sorry if this is too long i just needed to vent out & i didnt want to bug my best friends because their vacation has just started & i want them to not worry about me. thank you & i hope i didnt annoy u guys for this long ass message

Hey love! So sorry for the late reply I really wanted to sit down and reply to this since its a personal problem. I’m so sorry to hear about the relationship you have with your parents and that it must be rough :/ I can understand where your mother is coming from although there is no need for her to be so controlling of your life as you are 17 years old, almost an adult (in the US at least). Your father messed up and ruined his relationship with your mother and family and while he did make a mistake or two, it is true; he is still your father. As a father’s daughter its perfectly fine and natural to feel excited to see your dad even though he has hurt your mother. He is your dad, and you still love him im sure. Forgiveness doesn’t come too easily and perhaps your mother has crossed that just yet so she may still have those spiteful feelings toward him. Maybe that is why she doesn’t want you seeing him too. Though soon enough, when you become a legal adult, your mom will have no so in what you do and what you want to do and who you want to see. Talk it out with your mother and tell her how you feel and just try to have her understand how you see it in your eyes. You love them both, and hopefully equally. If you have done this already, then I’m sorry hun, I’m not sure what else to tell you other than sorry :c No one could possibly be happy when they’re in a situation like this. I hope things will work out for you soon and that you overcome this issue and try to feel better

-Love, 

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