#im sorry i cannot answer your asks like a normal person.

[sieglinde-freud]

Wyvern Riders & their 5heads goddamn

they are the same. same guy

[sternbilder]

ok so today I had one of the most fascinating and enlightening discussions maybe of my life and I need to share bc it blew my MIND (warning: long)

here's the context. there is a friend I have. they are a pretty good friend of mine that I've known for many years now and I appreciate them as a person very much. lately I have noticed that they've been texting me fairly frequently. which, from my point of view, is once every couple of days. not because they had something specific to say, but just saying hello or asking how my day was.

I'm sure this was well-intentioned, but this was starting to get a tiny bit grating for me. we just met up in person literally two days ago! and you had texted me not long before that, too! nothing new has happened since then! my day has been quite boring, actually! I thought, in my mind, as I swiped away the notification—and immediately felt like an awful friend.

I knew from past experience that responding to the message would invite an immediate and not easily escapable conversation that, due to my poor multitasking skills, would distract me from work or require me to context switch away from whatever else it was I was doing at the moment—cooking, doing chores, watching TV—and worse, amount to little more than idle chit-chat about the same boring quotidian complaints as usual. I am not one of those people who thinks they're above small talk or don't see its social value, but I found myself thinking, am I the one who is being not normal here in not enjoying having this specific kind of interaction MULTIPLE times a week with the SAME person?

so recently, I've been finding myself routinely avoiding opening this particular friend's messages for fear of hurting their feelings if they saw that I had left them on read for a prolonged period of time. I had even gone so far as to avoid posting in a group chat in which we're both participants so that they don't realize that I have, in fact, been online, just not responding to them, specifically. my hope was that after enough slow responses, this friend would eventually get the hint and give up on trying to maintain a steady steam of conversation, but somehow this has not worked so far.

this was starting to weigh on my conscience. I realized that I will have to eventually fight my conflict-avoidant tendencies and just confront this friend directly, for the sake of both my sanity and our friendship. but how to do this gently? tactfully? without implying that I don't value their friendship or that I perceive them as needy or annoying? that was the tricky question. because I know that my friend isn't doing anything wrong! if anything it is probably me that is weird and antisocial and I probably just need to work on my social skills!

but not wanting to feel like a total asshole and hoping to go in with an informed and reasonable mindset (knowing full well that my understanding of social norms isn't always the keenest), I asked a different group chat for their opinion, hoping to gain some perspective on what boundaries they generally considered normal and acceptable to exercise. I phrased my question thusly:

how many friends* would you say you have where you text on a regular basis (say, multiple times a week) 1:1 just to say hi, about nothing in particular *explicitly a friend, not a family member or SO

y'all. the responses were eye-opening.

there were four people who participated in this discussion, all four of whom were in different camps and had wildly different experiences:

0, and assumed most others were the same

0, but assumed most others were not the same

multiple, and assumed most others were the same

multiple, but assumed most others were not the same

1 was me; in retrospect, I am realizing that because I had assumed that these kinds of interactions were not typical, I had interpreted my friend's gesture as something much more significant than it probably was in their mind, which is to say something that they just happen to do with everyone they know and like—which created a sort of pressure in my mind not to let them down and caused a sense of intense anxiety when I found myself struggling to reciprocate. I am absolutely floored at the revelation that it is apparently normal and common for people to have MULTIPLE friends (not even partners!!! or family!!!) that they are talking to on a constant ongoing basis at any given time, and at the possibility that I was treating my friend's feelings with kid gloves when it REALLY wasn't that hashtag deep for them.

2 clarified that they never initiate these kinds of chats, but when others initiate with them, they're fairly comfortable with simply letting these kinds of pings go unanswered, assuming the other person will just move on to someone else without taking it personally.

3 confessed to me that they once tried to do something similar with me, and eventually gave up, but had felt a bit hurt and rejected at my lack of enthusiasm, because they assumed that I was doing this with other people, just not them specifically. they sympathized very strongly with my friend.

4 also recalled that they had at one point tried something similar with me, but sort of got that I wasn't one of those people who would be receptive to this style of communication and wasn't particularly bothered by this, agreeing with 2 that the expectation is not that the recipient HAS to respond, and that my friend should probably pay closer attention to the face-saving social cues I was sending by not responding or responding slowly.

but yeah, the takeaway from this conversation is that people's preferences and experiences and expectations when it comes to digital communication are WILDLY varied, and because both communication technology and the social conventions surrounding them are changing CONSTANTLY (just a few examples: are read receipts good or bad? what about typing indicators? online status? are emoji reacts or gifs/stickers an acceptable substitute for an actual reply? group chats vs. 1:1 DMs? synchronicity and formality of various communication methods like email and chat and video? are phone calls are still socially acceptable?) there are either no agreed-on norms or different camps of people have vastly different understandings of what the norms are

among the other highlights/a-ha moments of this discussion:

Friend 4 asked another friend who is even MORE extraverted than they are what their # was and they reported somewhere in the ballpark of 20-40 people in any given week which is absolutely buckwild to me (importantly, all four of us in the original group happen to be software engineers, a class of people notorious for their lack of sociability, so I have no confidence that I have captured a representative sample size even within this particular group—the numbers both 3 and 4 gave were still both in the single digits, though they are definitely the warmest and friendliest of the bunch)

I realized that one difference between me and 3/4 was that we fulfill our social needs quite differently? specifically, I mostly connect with friends over group chats, of which I have a handful that are quite chatty and at least one or two that I'm actively posting in on any given day. I also typically have at least one, often multiple, real-life social plans every week! I am, in fact, very satisfied with my social life, to the point where it is almost maxing out my social quota (especially recently now that I've started dating someone)! but anyway—I find group chats to be my ideal form of day-to-day communication because there's less urgency and pressure for any individual person to contribute if they're not feeling up for it, and ALSO in the case of group chats where at least one member is a straight man (which is the majority of them for me, and I call out straight men only because they are the only demographic I have historically had this issue with) there is less room for platonic interactions to be undesirably misinterpreted as romantic

3/4 expressed that they prefer 1:1 conversations because they feel more personal and they can be more vulnerable about sensitive topics, which I would generally agree with—though in several of my group chats, I personally do feel comfortable enough with all the members to share things about myself with the entire group just by virtue of having known everyone for a long time and having built group camaraderie, but they seemed to not be comfortable with this without having previously established a consistent 1:1 pattern of day-to-day communication (or maybe they meant they were uncomfortable with the group forum itself, even if they were cool with sharing with everyone individually)?

they also expressed that for them, frequent unsolicited checkins and 1:1 attention from a friend would feel exciting/flattering/validating for them, whereas for me it would feel overwhelming, especially if we weren't THAT close

I do use 1:1 DMs also, but for a very different set of use cases: 1) if I haven't caught up with someone in a while (read: weeks or months), in which case we'll often just not text super long and make plans to call or meet in person instead, or 2) if I have something specific to say, like "here's this meme/song/piece of news I think you'd like to see" or "I need advice on X" or "guess what happened that made me think of you" or "I heard X happened, are you OK?"

I found that whereas I have a very clear distinction between communication preferences with a friend (someone I talk to on a regular basis but don't have a constant line of individual communication with) vs. a significant other (more or less willing to do this, unless they preferred not to), such a boundary between a platonic and romantic relationship does NOT exist for all people which boggled my mind

but yes anyway. I am learning so much about the way people view socializing in the digital age and I am so curious to know more and I kind of wish more people talked about this more openly (specifically among friends! because in my experience this is something that is fairly common to sort out explicitly in a romantic context) because I think this is probably the kind of thing that no one talks about because people are either afraid of potentially hurting feelings or everyone is just kind of assuming by default that their takes are universal without realizing that no actually, many people have strong opinions on this that are the polar opposite of theirs

but my gut feeling is that there is a lot of completely unnecessary friction that could just be resolved if only we could agree that it's cool to be more upfront about what our communication preferences are without worrying about that being taken extremely personally by the other party? bc idk, every single person I talked to about this today was like holy shit this was a whole fucking revelation actually, I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before thank you for bringing this up

[pasdasin]

Wicked Game

wolverine x vampire!reader

an: can u guys tell im not working rn with the amount uploading! also currently working on ch 4! if you guys have any ideas feel free to send me stuff!! i <3 vampire!reader and wanna write more about her :3... also sorry if pacing is weird lol

ch 3

warnings: SMUT!!! fingering, erotic blood drinking, angst lol, prob like cussing lol, im sure there is more so just be warned in general, mdni lol

previous -- next

~~~~~

The proposition weighed heavily on your mind. A chance to return where it all started? You couldn’t stomach the thought. You’d have to ask Logan what he thought. He always knew what to say. You couldn’t dwell on it now, another task was at hand. You smoothed out your denim skirt for the millionth time and stared at your reflection. Nothing seemed appropriate enough. Nothing seemed right when it came to talking about your past. Two hundred and seventy-five years old and this was most nerve racking thing you’ve ever done.

talk in front of teenagers. 

Sighing you turned back to your closest when the door of your room slowly opened.

“y/n? Are you ready yet? My class is waiting” Storm entered your room. “Damn you look good! Honestly expected a full Bela Lugosi get up.”

“Very funny, but I am not a vampire.” You said, turning to her. 

“Okay yeah, and I don’t control the weather.” She snickered at you. She held out her hand and you grabbed it tightly, allowing yourself to be pulled through the halls of the mansion as the two of you giggled and talked friday night plans. 

The two of you reached her classroom and it seemed fuller than normal. You glanced around the room and noticed Logan standing near one of the walls closer to where you’d be presenting. You shot him a smile smile and he nodded back at you, causing your heart to race. You approached the desk at the front of the room and took a deep breath in. You could not only hear your heart pumping, but also every single person in that room. 

Turning around you smiled at everyone and sat sheepishly on the desk. You felt Logan’s eyes on you as you listened to Storm start her lecture. You glanced towards him and watched as he sent you a silent message.

You’ll be okay bub. I’m right here.

You turned back to the class and scanned the crowd. It seemed as though every single person was there, even though it was physically impossible. Your eyes zeroed in on Scott and Alex. Alex. Your mind wandered back to what Charles asked of you the previous night.

“I know you don’t do missions since the incident, but you could really benefit Alex.”

“I dedicated my life to medicine, and helping others. I cannot just leave that.”

“Just think about it okay? Its London afterall. Don’t think I don’t know about what the two of you did there”

You quickly glanced away and turned your full attention back to Storm. She was just about finished with her recap of the lesson plan. Her eyes met yours and she winked down at you. 

“Now that we have finished Dracula, I thought as a treat instead of a movie, we could hear about the real events from the person who inspired the book herself. This is y/n, your school nurse.” A small round of applause broke out as you stood up from the desk.

“Hi everyone! So yes I inspired Dracula, so please ask me any questions.” Immediately questions rang out towards you. Are you a vampire? How come you don’t sparkle? I thought vampires drink blood!

Typical questions that you usually got from new students that visited your office. You quickly answered them without even thinking about it. Alex raised his hand jokingly before asking you the question you dreaded the most.

“How exactly did you inspire the book?” You paused, silently remembering the events of the night. You felt a knot in your throat before you began.

“In 1895, I met Bram Stoker in a pub. He was strange but endearing. A flirt really, and I knew I was done for. In 1896 I confessed to him my mutation and how at that point I was twenty-five for fifty years at that point. He didn’t believe me of course and when I showed him my true nature, the book was born.” You paused, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. “The dedication was for me, and one of the brides had my name at the time and my description. I left Ireland and headed for London after the town found out about it. That’s actually where I met Logan.” 

The rest of the class period was full of laughter and more questions about your life in general, but you easily avoided those. As your presentation ended, you thanked Storm for the chance she gave you and promised to get drinks in the future. She walked away from you as Logan approached, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“Good job bub. I knew you could do it.” You pushed his arm jokingly as the two of you started to walk out of the room, as Alex walked up to the two of you. Logan’s grip on your waist tightened.

“To my ever lasting beauty, an ageless angel, my queen of the dark. A book for your life. Wow you really made an impression on this dude. I didn’t realize you only dated what? Tall, dark and handsome. I’ll dye my hair ya know”

“Watch it Alex” Logan muttered, his claws starting to breach his knuckles.

“Woah big guy, I am just teasin. Anyways, y/n I heard the professor talked to you about Europe. What did ya think?” You made a face as you heard Logan’s blood race faster.

“I’m not too sure yet. I am still thinking about everything.” He nodded at your words before wishing you well and ignoring Logan. The two of you watched him walk away. 

“What the hell is he talking about?” Logan looked down at you, his face mixing into anger and confusion. 

“Lets go to my room okay?”

___

“What the hell do you mean a mission to London? And with him!” Logan snarled at you. You stared him down, not afraid of what he would do to you. 

“Calm down Logan! Its not a big deal I haven’t even decided yet!”

“Yeah I’m deciding for you. NO” He paced the left side of the bed as he muttered to himself.

“You don’t control me! I am my own person and I can’t die! Why don’t you trust me?” You felt your fangs push downwards in anger. If you weren’t careful you weren’t sure what would happen. 

“I don’t trust him. You won’t go and thats final.” His claws started to extend as he turned towards you. Fuck it.

The two of you lunged at each other and embraced as a tangle of limbs. Your lips crashed onto every piece of skin it met before you finally met his lips. He held you close to his chest and he messily made out with you, somehow managing to rip off your shirt, leaving in just the skirt and bra. His breath reeked of alcohol and his cologne filled your nose. The tobacco residue from an earlier cigar danced on his tongue as you deepened the kiss. You turned to straddle his lap, you pushed him down on the bed and, without thinking, you leaned down and sunk your fangs into his neck.

The warmth of his blood entered your mouth and the taste was euphoric. You continued your frenzy as you started to grind down on his growing erection. He groaned and panted as you nuzzled deeper into his vein. Your hot breath created a layer of pleasure to the holes in his neck and you pushed down harder on his clothed cock. 

“Please, fuck, don’t stop.” He choked out, moaning the last word. You didn’t think you could if you even wanted too. The taste of his blood made you whine in his ears as you picked up the pace of your hips, desperate for friction. His hand snaked down to your pussy, fingers slipping into your underwear and onto your clit. Your fangs sunk in deeper as he rubbed circles. “You’re so fucking wet for me.” He picked up the pace making you squeal from pleasure.

“Pl-ee-se-” You couldn’t think. The friction, his fingers, his blood. Without warning, you came hard on his fingers, allowing yourself to get lost in the heat of the moment.

Eyes half lidded you removed your fang from his neck and you looked down at the mess created. Blood stained the sheets, pillows, his shirt, and most likely everything else on the bed. Your mouth and neck was covered in a sheer layer of his blood. 

You snapped back to reality and realized what you had done. 

“Logan I’m- I can’t. I have to go.” Quickly you threw on a random shirt and left as quickly as you came, leaving Logan in the mess.

His neck already healing, his lifted his pants to stare at the mess left. Cuming in his pants was so middle school, but it wouldn’t be the first time this happened. Before being forced into the weapon x program, you fed on him regularly. Back then, your insatiable bloodlust wasn’t controlled, and he loved it. 

Trapped in the trance of euphoria, he didn’t realize you had gone. Slowly succumbing to sleep, Logan wouldn’t realize until the morning that you had gone. He ran through the mansion praying you’d still be in the confines of the walls. It was too late when he finally reached you. 

Watching as you left with Alex Summers to a mission to Europe. 

~~~~~

tag list: @captain039 @twinky-wink @fuckmachine42069 @honeybeedrabble

an: omg the drama!! also thank yall so much for ur support :3

[soursturniolo]

𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚔, 𝚌𝚑. 𝚘𝚗𝚎

- a wizarding world!au ft the sturniolo triplets

- intro post here

main pairing: unspeakable!slytherin!nick x tea shop owner! hufflepufflex-quidditch player!oc

A biting late autumn breeze felt as if it cut down to Nick’s bones as he hustled down the dark winding street. It had been a long work day, he had clocked in promptly at eight in the morning for his shift. Due to some mysterious circumstances that puzzled even his superiors, he had been forced to work overtime. The time was now nearing eleven at night, but he was walking at a brisk pace to get to the one thing he’d been craving all day: his favorite latte from a quaint little coffee shop he had visited a couple times since they opened. After a few more quick steps, he finally arrived in front of Teetering Teas & Apothecary; an unassuming little place that Nick firmly believed to be a small slice of heaven on earth.

As he pulled the shop door open, he was greeted by a warm golden glow of light and the heady smell of cinnamon, coffee grounds, and herbs. A rare soft smile painted his features as he stepped inside, a sigh of relief leaving his lips from making it to the shop before they closed.

“Hey, made it just before I locked the door to close,” an unfamiliar but warm and deep voice called out from the counter, “what can I get you?” the stranger asked.

Nick found himself frowning in confusion, where was the young girl who usually was working at this hour, he wondered to himself. But as he looked up at the sound of the voice, he was struck by the beautiful person in front of him. Short and curly hair, warm and tan skin, tall and strong with obvious muscles under the warm yellow sweater the man was wearing. He was gorgeous. He looked oddly familiar in a way, but Nick knew they had never met before.

“Hi, um, sorry im stopping in right before you close, work was a nightmare today,” Nick stuttered a bit, “where’s the girl who normally is here? I think her name is Quinn?”

“Quinn had to take tonight off, she’s not feeling well. Are you one of her regulars?” The taller man asked as he finished wiping down the counter with a damp cloth.

“Yeah,” Nick found himself chuckling lightly, “I guess you could say I am.”

“Well, what’s your usual? I’ll give it my best shot,” he said with a smile.

“I usually get a caramel macchiato,” Nick said, “are you new here?”

“No,” the man chuckled as he turned towards the coffee machines to begin making the drink requested, “I’m actually the owner of this place,” he said with a smile, hands working over the coffee machinery with an ease and skill showing he had plenty of experience.

Nick felt himself flush a bit in embarrassment at unknowingly asking the owner of one of his favorite shops if they were a new employee. He looked down at his loafers, dull and black like the rest of his work attire. He was a stark contrast from the bright and warm shop, full of color and life. There were plants all over, various herbs in different states of growth. There were cozy seating options, a few tables with comfy chairs on either side, and a few large booths along the left wall. Along the back wall was Nick’s favorite aspect of the shop, all the various homegrown and sustainably sourced potion ingredients.

“Hey, I remember you said work was a nightmare,” the kind owner remarked as he watched the espresso brew out into the small glass, “what do you do?”

Hearing this question, Nick had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. There it was, the question he dreaded most in life.

“I cant say, I work as an Unspeakable,” Nick explained, somewhat dryly. Usually, this brought on a gamut of questions, all of which Nick was clearly forbidden to answer. It was always irritating, not only because he was unable to answer, but also due to the sheer fact that even if he wanted to talk about his work, he cannot.

“Oh,” the shop owner responded, sounding thoughtful, “that must be a hard thing, not being able to talk about work and having to keep everything secret,” the owner sympathized as he poured Nick’s drink into a to-go cup before offering it to him.

“Yeah,” Nick responded, stunned by the owners thoughtfulness towards him, as he reached into his pocket under his work robes to pay.

“Oh, no, its on me tonight, no worries,” he says, placing the warm to-go cup into Nicks hand with a beaming smile.

“Are you sure? I’ve got it,” Nick questions, surprised by the generosity.

“Yeah, take it as a gift. All I ask is that you come back soon,” the owner smiled.

Nick found himself softly smiling again for the second time of the night, this time at the owner instead of the ground.

“Sure, I can do that. By the way, I never got your name?” Nick inquired softly.

“Thomas,” he says with a bright smile once again, brown eyes twinkling in the candescent light of the homey shop.

“I’m Nick, its really nice to meet you,” he responds, “hey, would you happen to be working again tomorrow sometime? I had some potion ingredient shopping to do, my list is at home but I wanted to ask some questions about some of your inventory, if that's alright?”

“I’ll be working from ten to two in the afternoon tomorrow, feel free to stop in any time, I’ll be glad to help,” Thomas cheerfully responds.

“Okay, I’ll see you then, have a good night,” Nick responds as he turns to head out.

“Have a good night! Be safe out there!” Thomas gleams with another infectious smile, giving a small wave.

As he stepped back out into the cold and unforgiving night, Nick found himself grinning to himself as he walked back to his apartment down the block. He took a small sips of his coffee as he walked, the warm and sweet drink seemingly warming him from the inside out even in the biting cold air. After a few minutes of walking, Nick arrived back at the large apartment which he, along with his two triplet brothers, called home. As he stepped inside, he was greeted by the laughter of his two brothers coming from down the hall, along with the comforting smell of laundry that was doing itself magically down the hall.

Shutting the door behind himself, Nick took off his robe and hung it up next to Chris’s Auror robe. The two were a stark contrast from each other; warm, scarlet red next to the dull and sharp black that Nick wore. Walking down the hall past the laundry room, Nick entered his brothers bedroom, leaning up against the doorway as he watched his two brothers sit at Matt’s desk, playing a muggle video game. Nick quickly found himself laughing as he watched Chris step the wrong way in the game, causing their characters on the game to fall to their deaths.

“CHRIS SERIOUSLY” Matt bellowed, angrily slamming the controller down on the desk.

“IM SORRY I GOT CONFUSED” Chris hollered back, just then noticing Nick in the doorway.

“Hey, how was work?” Chris asked, causing Matt to turn and look at Nick too.

“Must've been a good day, look how smiley he looks, usually he looks ready to kill someone” Matt commented with a slight smirk, which caused Nick to roll his eyes and turn to walk up the stairs to his own bedroom.

“Goodnight guys,” Nick called as he reached his bedroom door.

“Goodnight!” his two brothers chorused back, as they quickly engrossed themselves back into their video game.

Nick sighed softly and contently to himself as he shut his bedroom door, moving to quickly get ready for bed. He quickly jumped in the shower before bed, his thoughts drifting a few times to the sweet shop owner he had met, and the prospect of talking to him again tomorrow. As he finished his shower, changed into pjs, and got into bed, Nick found himself almost giddy at the thought of what tomorrow might bring.

thank you for reading! likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated 🖤

[shinakazami1]

Transcript of IGN Handsome Jack QnA

This thing doesn't have the whole text but - questions and some of my fav Meg-Jack interactions :^] I tried to write their speech patterns as close as possible

Transcript under the cut:

0:30: Question: Is Buttstallion the best horse ever Jack : Well it’s my horse. That I made her ( <- FACT CHECK: he bought her) out-out of diamonds, so…

0:45 Q: What it’s like wearing a face (mask - though in video it's funnily shown) J: It’s not a mask, it’s a freaking face! Do people think I’m wearing a freaking mask on my face? MEG!! I’m kidding. You’re cute tho. You know what it’s like—do you ever put a onesie on right out of the dryer? (whisper) it’s like that. (normal volume) It’s cosy. It just feels right. And a cool thing about wearing a face is – you can swap them out with however many people you kill in course of an afternoon or a week or whatever. You get off that face – you put on another one! (laughs mid-sentence) It’s fantastic. I can look at whoever. I could look like you Meg if I wanted to. I might later. Wear your face.

1:43 Q: Boxers or briefs? J: Commando!

1:50 Q: What dead celebrity would you bring back? J: Tom Cruise. (learning he is still alive) He’s not dead. Oh. Well-well let’s kill him and then I can bring him back to life or whatever.

2:10 -2:52 (Off top) J: Where did you get these pretzels Meg: From the Hyperion vending machine J: They’re delicious. (long silence) They’re good. (longer) I promise someone will clean it up – my God that’s what happens If you drink beer at lunch, people!

(….) J: Pandorian, people are dumb but loyal. M: I’m loyal sir. I’m very, very very- J: Nah, so much of this. M: Oh yes, sir.

2:15 (Answer 3:25) Q: Do people recognise your voice in public? J: I’m all over the fucking place. I’m in megaphones, I’m in-in like convenience store, vending machines so—yeah. Yeah uh, I have to say. Yeah.

3:48 Q: Favourite type of weapon? J: What do you think, Meg? M: Uhh-anything that kills, sir. J: Well, I would say Hyperion would be a good start, wouldn’t you. M: (louder, nervously) That would be a very good start. J: There you go. Smart… uh. (Awkward horrible silence he prob wanted to say ‘smart girl’ and im glad he didn’t say it cus Jesus Christ man how much cringe can you spout out of your mouth). Anything made by Hyperion and anything that and anything that inflicts, like you said. Fairness to you. The most damage possible.

4:09 Q: (person wanted a greeting for her cat Tunses) J: Hey Tunses.

4:30 Q: Which Vault Hunter do you hate the least and which the most? J: I try not to play favourites. I hate them all the same. M: They’re all pretty terribl- J: (growling) They’re all equally hateable. M: They’re all pretty terrible. (you go girl say your lines) J: Each and every one of them. M: They all want to kill you, sir. J: God I hate them so much.

(Off top) J: (soft laugh) I enjoy your company M: You would make a great voice actor, sir. J: You know I’ve heard that! Yeah yeah yeah – people tell me sh# t all the time. You know. Like : , uh- I (chuckles) get that you, babe- M: You can cook, sir?! J: I- uh, um, I, uh – yeah. I'm really quite handy in the kitchen. M: Yeah? J: Yeah. M: What do you like to make sir. J: I find it- I find it z-zens me out after coming home and washing all the blood out of my clothes.

5:25 Q: Why are you so perfect? J: I don’t know, ask my mom. (pause) You can’t – you can’t because she’s dead, I killed her – but if she was alive, you could ask my mom.

(offtop) J: (playing the game) Where is my oxygen level? M: So, your oxygen level isssss – where the hell is it? J; Come on Meg – I cannot with your (Meg breaks out laughing) you stupid little sh#t like this (they both laugh) and you’re letting me dooown. M: Oh my God I’m the worst!! J: No it’s right over (chin upfront sounding voice idk how else to call him becoming a goblin) it’s right over there, did your little brain fall out of your head, Meg? M: Sorry, should be on your map. J: (genuine soft sounding) Why am I so mean to you? M: I don’t know, sir. J: (still soft, but cool persona) AAA that’s cus of what- that’s what I do.

J: How does Handsome Jack butt slam? M: I think youuuu- J: Anyway he likes (laughs) M: (chuckles) Yes, yes, exactly- J: Joke right there. Welcome

(…) J: That’s what the hip kid say. Instead of , they say (he becomes sonic and laughs like him). Did you know that? M: No, sir J: Yeah. That’s what they do.

(…) M: (after Jack killed a few monsters) Good job! J: Thank you Meg! Thank you for being such a loyal supporter. M: Absolutely sir: J: Really appreciate you, Meg. M: You do sir??? J: Claptrap (HEEEELP THE TIMING??? WHY DOES HE SAY THIS) M: That’s great. Oh- J: I appreciate you Claptrap.

(…) J: Gotta get some things- M: Yes. J: Gotta get some uh- hopefully some grenades. I love- I love the grenades! I got to say, I’m a huge fan (starts chuckling) blowing sh#t up.

7:25 Q: Is Handsome Jack happy? J: (laughs) That’s a great question. It’s deep, isn’t it? Um, there’s a lot of smiling going on here (chuckle) but really, I’m dead inside. It seems like everything I say has just a weird connotation to it. Some kind of inappropriate connotation to it. (sincere) Did you- did you ever noticed that? M: No, sir. J: Good answer! (laughs)

(Offtop) J: Ah for f#ck sake (kills a skag) M: That’s where you’re supposed to go. J: That’s – so I got to go outside. M: Yeah, you have to go outside. J: So you were right. Before. First time for everything, Claptrap. M: Yes. Yes sir. J: Yes siiiir.

(…) M: You’re doing great, sir. J: Atta girl. (pause) I got- I got to stop saying that. (laughs) Okay (nervous chuckles continue) M: And you got another badass rank so you can use that as well. J: Oh, okay – that’s see- now that is some useful information. M: (joyful and surprised) Really?? J: Yeah!

(…) J: (Asks about a game feature. Ben, someone out of the mic, answers before Meg in a monotone voice) Why is Ben so much smarter than you. Ummm- (nervous chuckle turning into silent cry-laugh between Meg and him) M: I’m doing my best sir. J: Ay-ay.

(…) J: What the f that just happened here. That just- I just picked that and now I can-okay. M: You have- you have- you have multiple. So it-do-does it— J: Oh, you’re God, how do you make so much sense when you say things. (…) J: (talking about enemy name pronounciation) Had to do an r-roll with that criiiticic crrrretin (??? im sorry I cant hear it well 9:15 pls help ) M: That’s very – that’s very fancy, sir. J: Mmm. You know what I am? M: What are you? J: I’m so fancy. M: You’re- J: I’m schmancy. (Meg snickers) You cut that one out too, Ben. That was- that was some bullsh#t (laughs) M: You’re so fancy, we already know.

(…) J: (About game dialogue) I don’t know who that is but I find them (emphasis) extrrrRRREMELY annoying. M: Oh they are the Vault Hunters si- J: (immediately) God they’re f#cking annoying, aren’t they. M: They are really, really annoyin- J: I feel like they’re trying too hard, that’s the thing. That’s the thing that’s standing out for me here. M: Yes, I think you should kill them. J: It’s one thing to be naturally funny and then there’s another – it’s another thing to- to be like – you know what I mean like – put yourself out there too much, feel like you’re overcompensating is the world I’m looking for. M: Don’t think you have to worry about that at all. J: (smooth convo swap) You know what I’m liking the most about this game? M: What do you like- J: The lack of Claptrap. M: Oh-uh, well, he is, he’s in here, if you want to- J: Listen, that’s fine – I’m in a good mood run right now, you don’t have to ruin it byyy talking about how I’m going to run into Claptrap. M: (silence) Okay sir. I’ll be quiet, sir. (pause) Yes. (pause) OH!! There’s Claptrap (in-game) Claptrap: HELLOOO- J: Oh you little son of a b#tch. Welcome to the pit of pseudo-solid sorrows, that is some alliteration. That’s a literary term for (long sign) all you people that didn’t finish school. Meg. Arena – of, partially see-through Triumph, the Hippodrome of marginally tangible everything else. (quieter) Do that make any sense to you? M: (joyful) No sir.

(…) Axton (in-game): Is it going to be a LONG story? Gaige (in-game): Yeah, just give us the Bluff’s Notes. J: (Jack is mimicking Axton’s voice) Wait, is it going to be a loooooong story? M: Yeah, they just keep talking- J: Axton is a handsome guy. M: Kinda looks like you sir- J: A little TOO handsome, if you ask me. M: He’s not as handsome as you. J: Well- I mean (chuckles) good luck with that, right. M: I mean, he might sort of be but- J: Oi! (pause) Slow your roll, sister. All right – wait, I was too busy talking, cus I love the sound of my own voice, now the f#ck am I doing? Am I loaded for bear? (Meg is trying to talk) Oh wait- M: I feel you are. No, you’re full (on amo), oh- J: Oh yeah, okay. That’s what she said. (immediately quickly nervously) Joking there. Okay if you want to, TAKE IT MAG feel free take it. M: No, that’s- J: (forceful) TAKE the joke, MAAG. M: I-I- J: Take the joke or you’re fired, Mag – or wait actually – take the joke or I’ll set you on fire, Meg. M: (playful) That’s what she said, yeah? J: God it just-it just sounds so much better coming from you for some reason.

(…) J: I think living on the moon would kind of suck. M: Why? J: I mean uh- I mean if you had to run like this all the time, you’d think it would be more advantageous or better than uhh, running –uh, say with like, uh, gravity? M: (smacks lips) Yeah, but you can do- J: Yeah but gravity Meg, is something it’s-it’s a force of energy that keeps the- it’s the Earth and the moon create, and it keeps things on the… neverm- ff, M: That was a great explanation, sir. J: (defeated) That’s fine. M: I have no idea what the hell you just said. J: (chuckles) It’s really – it was really scientific, wasn’t it? - M: It’s a thing! J: It’s a thing with the… M: I think it’s a good place to wrap this up.

(….) J: You want to do another-another thing? M: Uhh, I don’t, I don’t think we have time to do another thing, sir. J: Is that because I’m so busy and important that I have to go do stuff that is, I have people to do, and places to see- M: You’re- J: Places to see and people- I mean, places to go, people to see, things to do. M: All that. J: Yeah. M: All that more. J: Correct (laugh) Well listen, kids, first of all – you’re welcome, because this has been a real treat. Sorry about- what was your name again? M: Meg. J: Yeah, she tries real hard but uhh- let’s face it. Uhhh I don’t know. We will see. M: Thanks. J: You still might get a retirement package out of this. M: Oh- that’s great. That’s uhh- J: But it’s been a lot of fun, will go to build homeless shelters, and, (pause and rapid speech) dig wells. M: In Africa. J: Yep. M: And by Africa, we mean Africa on Pandora. J: (giggle) Yes.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Im sorry but what about pro-ship? ...You would also cheer people who create it?

And by pro-ship i mean incest, pedophilia, rape, abuse and glorifying all of these things.

I just want to know, no vitriol, no hate.

Okay, so, this is a MASSIVE topic and my thoughts are complex. So, just for the purpose of answering this ask, I'm gonna focus on the biggy here - fictional depictions of pedophilia.

Under a cut because this got long!

I don't wanna read anything that glorifies fictional child sexual abuse in a completely played-straight way. That's a big ol' nope.

But there is a world of difference between depiction and glorification. And I don't think people writing about a horrific situation have to constantly shove it down your throat that Pedophilia Is Bad? This sort of thinking leads to incredibly cringey moralistic fiction that is, frankly, dull.

I love dark fiction! I love gothic novels, and horror, which include rape and incest and abuse and child sexual abuse and all sorts - not all of which is demonised! Some of which is wholeheartedly glorified in order to disgust you!

Some content is meant to disturb you and gross you out and make you look at your own internal 'ick' reactions! Or it's designed to give you the 'fascinated horror' people often get from looking at a car crash with multiple fatalities. That sense of intrigue when faced with taboos is a natural part of the human experience. So long as it is only engaged with in a fictional setting, it's a helluva lot less harmful than rubbernecking out the window of your car at a crash site and causing another accident.

Playing with people's disgust can be very interesting and fun, from a writerly perspective! You can create all sorts of really disturbing horror for the precise purpose of making your audience uncomfortable, and no one is actually being hurt!

Art isn't just about happy emotions, y'know? Lolita isn't pro-child-sexual-abuse despite being written from the perspective of a pedophile, and I'd wager that very, very few people who paid to watch The Human Centipede actually have a scat fetish. They're drawn in by their disgust and revulsion - like many people are to darkfic!

Now, if someone is legitimately creating content that seems to be glorifying fictional child sexual abuse, I won't interact with them for personal trigger reasons. But at the end of the day.... I don't know their story? I don't know why they're doing that.

What I know is: when I went through the worst, most traumatic experiences in my life (which, no, I will not be discussing further x) reading about the same horrible stuff happening to my blorbos legit helped. And not just the stuff where it was depicted realistically, as a horrible traumatic experience, but the stuff where it was 'glorified' too, because it made me feel less alone and awful for having lived in that situation and for having told myself it was normal and healthy.

When you're in a situation like that, sometimes you legitimately cannot tell you are in deep shit. Fics that try to point out that you are in deep shit, invariably feel like they're preaching. A balance of fics that try to point out that, y'know, Abuse And Pedophilia Are Bad - delivered alongside fics that depict that sort of relationshp as ay-okay, actually helped me come to terms with some of the shit in my life. Reading both sorts of fic together, it didn't feel like I was being constantly told I was a Victim.

I think, at the end of the day, fiction affects reality. Just look at propaganda and the affects of white supremacy and homophobia on Western Canon! But it's not a 1:1 impact.

It's more important to encourage readers to use critical thinking when engaging with fiction, than it is to harass writers who have created content that disgusts you.

You don't know why they're creating that content, and you don't know how many people it's helped - and, so long as it's properly tagged, people who need to avoid that content due to triggers can do so!

Obligatory: if someone uses a fic with an underage pairing to groom someone, that is incredibly fucked up and disgusting. But literally anything can be used to groom kids, sadly. You could point at literally anything, and at some point, it will have been used to further a child's horrific and very real abuse.

Overall, if you actually give a shit about protecting kids, I think there are far more important things to focus on. Such as:

Educating communities about how the vast majority of child sexual abuse comes from close family friends and family members, not strangers sending kids fanfic on the internet.

Educating communities about how the word 'pedophile' has been purposefully corrupted by right wingers to demonize completely innocent queer people because think of the children. This isn't to say there isn't a very real problem with child sexual exploitation & abuse, but we should perhaps be a little wary about throwing around a word grounded in serious reality to refer to fictional scenarios, and enforcing the very Right-Wing idea that 'thinking about [x] act is the same as doing [x] act'.

Focusing on children themselves. We should support good sex & relationship education, so children know their bodies and understand appropriate cultural norms. We should educate children about their rights, and give children broader community support structures so that they feel empowered to disclose abuse. Offering time or money to shelters is a great way to actually support survivors.

Ensuring there are safe and free refuges for children who are being abused IRL, places where they can stay away from family & other potential abusers - i.e., public libraries, community centres, etc. - or at least know there are other witnesses. Volunteering at your local library and donating can genuinely make a difference to abused kids - and all kids in general!

Dismantling cultures of silence around abuse in your personal community. Do not just tell the women in the group to avoid Joe because he has wandering hands. Tell Joe that his behaviour is inappropriate and will no longer be tolerated.

TL;DR - personally, please keep any/all sexual content involving fictional underage people FAR away from me, and do not send me any rape or abuse scenarios (unless we're brainstorming whump as friends, in which case, you can just gimme a warning).

But I am also against harassing artists and creators unless they are harming real children in measurable ways.

[hms-no-fun]

so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)

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so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once

FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!

i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.

i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.

this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!

like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.

i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.

that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.

so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.

the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.

what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.

as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.

as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways

[husbandohunter]

hello!! this is my first time requesting something ever so if i did something wrong im so sorry 😭

but i’d really like to request something with xiao where reader really wants to go to the festival with him but obviously he can’t/doesn’t want to so he rejects them :’) and reader ends up not going and just watches the fireworks alone from afar untilllll xiao comes and sits next to them and it’s just the two of them enjoying each other’s company 🙊🙊 and maybe like an angst to fluff/comfort typa moment

idk idk AHH if u aren’t comfy writing that it’s all good! this scenario just been stuck in my head for a while.

The Lights Bring me to my Qixin [Xiao x Reader]

Synopsis: He was hard to love, you were easy to love

Genre: angst/comfort, gender neutral reader, You fell first but Xiao fell harder and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!!

(A/n): tldr; Xiao needs to love himself 😤 also I'm so sorry it took this long anon. And you didn't do anything wrong! Thank you for sucha cute prompt :)

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Xiao materializes himself on a bridge, a gust of wind fading beneath his feet. He doesn't move for a certain time, standing still as if he had no presence and just stares quietly. Only the moon was present tonight. No stars. A lone glow emitted right above where he remained and briefly he imagined, there was something melancholic about it. How the scenery made the lights in Liyue Harbor more apparent.

You would have loved to see this.

The adeptus recoils immediately and shakes away from those impending thoughts. No, he musn't dwell too much. He already made his decision. When you asked him to spend the lantern rite together, a voice inside his head acted before he even realized.

"No."

That was what he told you. It came out far more blunt than intended, followed by the poor choice of teleporting away. The pain on your face was something Xiao didn't want to think about. Because to him, you were like the city he gazed upon. Best admired from a distance. What affected the adeptus at the cost of what he wanted didn't matter.

His heart tightens. It's better this way.

"Why hello there! Care to join me for a drink this fine evening?"

Xiao spun around and saw Venti crouched on the handle while holding out a ceramic cup. Was he there the whole time or had his senses been dulled? It was hard to tell coming from an Archon.

Normally, he would refuse just as he would with anybody. But a part of him wanted to. Part of him wanted something that would help him take off his mind from those bothering emotions.

The two anemo users share a glass of rice wine pudding under the sky. Venti downs his fourth drink and Xiao glances at the watery reflection held by the glossy rim.

"If I recall, festivals are meant to be celebrated with wine and laughter. Maybe more of the former but it can't be complete without the other!" The bard cheers, his voice echoing around them, "Is the taste not to your liking?"

Xiao frowns, "No."

"No? Hmmm," Venti hums and taps his chin, "That's a shame. You were the second person who told me that."

As if he waited for Xiao to ask him who exactly, Venti proceeded to answer anyways, "As a travelling bard, I like to spread tales of heroic stories far and wide. Just so happened I landed a spot at the Teahouse yesterday. This good fellow sat in a corner, not even reacting to a single word I spoke, hmph!"

The teahouse? Wasn't that the place you always told him about? Repeating exaggerated stories about the mighty Yakshas who fought beside Rex Lapis during the Archon war?

"Ridiculous. Adepti cannot transform to anything but what they're already given. Mortal imagination are incomprehensible these days."

"Though you gotta admit, Bosacious with a serpent guardian sounds pretty cool...hold on, are you...laughing?"

"...Ridiculous."

"Did they say anything in particular?"

"Let me think, aha!" The bard snaps his fingers and looks upwards, "They said my interpretation of the story brought back good memories. That it reminded them of someone, which, they didn't tell me the name. But poor thing looked as if they were about to cry."

"...I see," he downs the drink in one gulp.

"Not even curious about who this mysterious person may be?" Venti insisted.

The adeptus huffs quietly and turns his head, "I have no recollection of such events. I must have mistakened them for someone else."

That's right. Whether you were happy or sad doesn't affect him in any way. Xiao knew where he stood. Karmic debt was a heavy burden to bear, it could be contagious and destructive if he wasn't too careful. Although you didn't like whenever he mentioned this, he truly believed that soon the curse will consume him completely. The yaksha's sole duty exists primarily for Liyue and to serve Rex Lapis whenever needed. Everything else becomes insignificant.

It's better this way. Xiao tells himself again. Mortal desires have no substance to him and neither does his own. I really don't care.

Settling down the glass, the adeptus walks toward the opposite direction, his back facing Venti away from the Harbor they watched.

"Leaving just when the celebration started? Someone's in a hurry," Venti chirped.

Xiao looks with downcasted eyes, stopping right at the edge. The trees rustle and a soft breeze picks up, brushing against his skin. It was colder now.

"Sorry," he breathes out, "Tonight, I just want to rest."

•••

You headed home through your usual route, sword in hand, except now there were no monsters to be dealt with.

How strange. Surely the landlord didn't suddenly commission members from the adventurer's guild, at least not regularly. It had been reoccuring for the past couple of days. Hilichurl masks sprawl across the field and whoever left this mess surely wasn't the type to play gently. Judging by how it looks, they were probably an aggressive fighter. A very powerful and aggressive fighter.

"Totally not complaining, though..." you mumbled, still perplex. It would be nice to know who did all this.

...

Xiao pierces the eye of a ruin guard and grunts as he retrieved his spear forcefully.

Just how many lives does he need to keep taking until he can finally rest? The question occasionally pops into his mind. Though seeing that he was fighting another day is proof enough. These hands were meant for war and destruction. Whatever comes near him, whatever he touches, would wither like a Qixin affected by poison.

When Rex Lapis appointed him, the adeptus said to be treated at his disposal. Xiao was a tool for battle. An extension of his blade and a mind equivalent to the vigor of any weapon. If he was ordered to throw his life away by facing the gods of Celestia, then there would be no hesitation.

But really, Xiao was more of a shield than a blade. He took every blow without complaining and did so for many years. Even if his achievements resulted in no glory, Xiao would remain in the shadows, exactly where he belongs. Just as you would one day come to hate him for hurting you that day, despise him for his silence, and see him as untrustworthy, Xiao would never leave his post. Because...that was his duty. The guardian yaksha.

Yes he'd rather had you hate him. Yes, he distanced himself without explanation and left things unsaid in more instances than one. Yes, it was better this way.

What am I even doing?

Regardless, in this year's lantern rite, he wanted you to enjoy the festival as you did the last. It was the least he could do. Xiao thought by eliminating the monsters that crowded your path would somehow alleviate the trouble he had caused. So he tosses blow after blow, harder than the last, trying to eradicate that pain and these unecessary emotions.

And right before the final strike, he stops. Within the adeptus a Qixin flower sprouted alone amongst the depths of his withered heart. Something that had already been planted during last year's lantern rite. Xiao made his decision. But he hesitated, unable to gather the strength and remove the thorn that bothered him incessantly.

"Adeptus Xiao."

The yaksha's breath races. Your voice. Thankfully he didn't sense any danger and concluded you made your way home safely. Did you eat yet? What were you doing out this late? Xiao waits and listens, once more, watching from a distance.

"Nevermind. I just missed saying your name, that's all."

The hard line of his mouth opens halfway as he tried not to make a single sound. He camaflouges himself among the trees, your back in his view while you hugged your knees close. Xiao leans against the bark, a shadow casting over his features.

He really shouldn't be here. An adeptus has no right to traverse into the realm he does not belong in. Xiao knows better than anyone exactly how the events will turn out between god and humanity. Like dark and light, made to balance the other, but too close would result in one's destruction, and the thought of that terrifies him to the core.

"I wonder if I said something wrong back then," you softly said, "He always did how much of a nag I could be. What if he...was fed up with everything I did...?"

Xiao caught his breath on hold, almost saying something he shouldn't. That's not true! Those words are clawing on his throat. You have no idea how hard it was for him to reject you over and over again. He pushed you away because he was afraid he would hurt you in more ways than one. Do you realize these feelings have been torturing him? Seeing you hurt, on the verge of tears, why can't you just understand that all he wanted was for you to be happy?

"I'm sorry. I had no idea that my actions affected you so much."

Yes. Yes they have, and he was forever grateful for it.

"Are you...happier though? If you're out there."

Silence passes through between the mortal and yaksha, accompanied by the chilly touch of a sky's breathly sigh. Bright rays thinned across the plains built upon Wuwang hills as the sun sets and around your small form. A golden reflection mirrored in the adpetus' eyes. 

He could never.

You hear a thump and the sound of leaves falling down as Xiao unmounted himself from the branches. Seeing him was like a dream, you hardly believed it was real. The man wore an unreadable expression, often carrying the hard edge in every part of his features. However perhaps it was the sunset which hindered your perception. There was something different this time, something you haven't seen before and you were oblivious to.

"You called?"

Even until now the shock hasn't left you completely and you struggled on what to do next, "I did, but," still seated where you were previously, you dared not to blink, "Why are you here?"

Xiao casted his gaze to the side as if unable to look at you any longer, "I should be asking you that question. Didn't you want to see the lantern rite?"

What a silly statement. Of course you wanted to watch the lanterns, and most of all, with him by your side.

You stood up and dusted the grass of your sides, "It's not the same without you, Xiao."

"They're just lights," he dismisses.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, there really are just a bunch of floating lanterns," you shrugged your shoulders, "But not for me. When my siblings passed away, I thought nothing would ever be the same again. We used to make lanterns every year. I didn't have the courage to do them on my own because I just thought there was no point."

For the first time in a while, Xiao stays instead of leaving, "Is that so?"

The adeptus has observed the changes Liyue had gone through. If there is one thing in this world which can carve the core of every human, it was loss. He has known many who were victims to it or were the cause of each grief. An emotion that can warp a man, to something more darker, more distant.

"I was right. Things won't be the same," you parroted, yet grinning from ear to ear, "When we watched the festival with you last year, I realized just because you've lost something good doesn't necissarily mean you won't find it again."

"Don't ever change," his gaze on you was softer now.

"I didn't but you did," stomping up to him, you puffed out your cheeks with an angry look, "What has gotten into you? If I did something to upsetting, don't just get up and leave me hanging! Here I thought I made you so angry which caused you to he in a bad mood around everyone else."

"I-- I apologize..." Xiao nears himself to you, little by little, he examines your countenance, "It wasn't my intention."

"I was worried, you know?"

Although you were showing signs of relief, you continued to bring forth your hands and wipe away the tears building up at the corner of your eyes. What an emotional creature. His Qixin. While you slowly recovered, Xiao waits patiently, with every passing moment filling his withered heart. And then things became clear to him.

It was impossible for the adeptus to severe his bond with this human.

"You can be such a fool sometimes," you meekly stated, sniffling from the cold, "The worry you cause others. Always putting up a mask when you obviously don't want to."

"I know."

"And going off on your own without considering how they feel."

"I know."

He wasn't going to argue against your words and admittedly, well deserved. You let out a breath and the two of you stayed there in comfortable nothingness. No exchanges but the gap mended itself somehow. Xiao hadn't moved all that much even when you were in arm's reach. This man was always so careful and you knew he wouldn't hurt anyone out of his own selflessness.

You took a hold of both his hands and brought them to your face.

"What are you doing?" Xiao retorts, desperately, "You can't touch me."

The nudge indicates that he wanted to pull away, but when you squeezed them a little tighter, his tugs have grown weaker.

"You're saying they do nothing but kill and destroy," whispering, you closed your eyes and reveled in his warmth, "They're rough from years of use but so soft. I can't help think about those horrible things you said about yourself, weren't true at all."

Xiao feels as if he was being washed away in a current he couldn't control. It brings him from his own sense, watching you fondly speak of him with words he didn't think was very fitting. Not a single drop of urge from the adeptus wanted to remove your touch. Like water to the Qixin growing in his heart, a healing balm to his tattered soul, he revels in it.

"Stay with me," you whispered.

How could he refuse?

In the sky, a thousand lanterns lit up among the stars. Xiao wonders to himself, if it would be selfish for an adeptus to dwell in human feelings. The battles he fought over a milennia was enough to make him solidify his identity as a warrior. Yet the new emotions he have come across, Xiao doesn't know when he will ever have the courage to give it a name.

Time. He has plenty.

Whatever the future may bring, Xiao will accept it as long as he can see you flourish into the beautiful Qixin he'd come to cherish.

[huntershowl-moving]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

i don't have one particular otp — big ships change depending on the Era hellhound is in!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

nothing illegal obviously — other than that, aside from long-lifespan characters whose mental maturation is slower, i generally stay away from with 10+ year age gaps when the younger muse is under 20. just feels like a weird power dynamic i guess?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

yes! ships on this blog cannot be pre-established — i tend to lose interest fast if they don't build up naturally, either through lots of ooc plotting or through writing. on top of that, seph is ... piiiiicky. she has very specific Types. generally, ships with very gentle, soft, mentally well-adjusted characters are possible, but transient — seph falls out of love after a point, but remains staunchly protective of them.

the long and short of the matter is she's a freak, and you kind of have to match that to be compatible as a long-term partner. but even then they don't always line up perfectly! idk. seph's weird. simultaneously very easy to ship with and very hard to ship with.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

oh i've got lots of good ones going on right now!! pls forgive me for gushing. focusing on currently heavily-plotted and/or written ones for this bit bc otherwise it will be pages and pages!! if i forgot someone you have full permission to impale me on a pike i am SO SORRY. (all of these will be under a readmore at the end of the post for length!)

there are more sort of beginnings/potentials for ships that haven't been explored yet which i haven't included here, but i'm truly excited to see where each and every one of them goes!!!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

yes absolutely hahaha — at least communicating ooc about it is necessary! i'm much more comfortable shipping with partners i mesh well with as a mun and have an easy time talking to.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

LOOK I. LISTEN. LISTEN... IM FERAL FOR SHIPS. FERAL. even though seph is picky about them — and i promise it's not personal if it doesnt work, it truly is just her dumb creature ass being unable to normal.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

N/A for this blog, but as a fun trivia fact, i'm deep in satosugu hell rn

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

it's all vibes babey. we just start writing their non-romantic dynamic buildup, and if it clicks (or even if u just think ur character would have a crush!) we talk about it ooc and plot some more, then plot some more and before u know it, the angst hammer looms over ur head

Tagged by: @bearratic (thank youuuu!!) Tagging: (points) do it

ship gushing below. <3

@vsagis' villain izuku— i had to put u first bc u kickstarted this shipping renaissance. seph and izuku clicked instantly and started a long-term trajectory that i don't think either of us writers expected. they're just freak enough to match each other, just soft enough to genuinely care. we're really putting these two through the horrors(tm) and watching them fall hopelessly, horribly in love. <3

@spiritcrown's pasha — how could i not mention pasha!! i was so happy to see you back, because pasha and seph's relationship was soooo formative for seph's development wrt romance. seph is absolutely, completely and utterly devoted to pasha. they worship at the altar of her. they would bend heaven and raise hell for her.

@crowshoots' jesper — UAHGHGBBHBH INCOHERENT CRYING NOISES. the first thing seph noticed about jesper was extremely respectable fighting skills, but even then they were definitely uhhhh touch and go for a while there before they started to simmer down and. pin each other down and — one thing led to another and jesper's being antagonized by her antagonists and they're too deeply in love to go back!! i love them. i l

@crowgreeds' kaz — HHHHHHHHH god. hi siri i know ur not around the dash much but idc im writing u into this. kaz and seph both have such a darkness in them that the other recognizes and not only feeds, but when necessary, balances. they're ruthless and violent and mean but at the same time, they have such a softness for each other that they both thought was dead. also, you're the recipient of probably the best rp reply i've ever written (that fucking. hellhound kill description. my GOD im feral for seph protecting him)

@tewwor.... goose is2g we really have the creatures ever. litho — FIRST SHIP!!!! FIRST SHIIIP i still cant believe it took 4 irl years for them to finally admit their stupid feelings. now they're soulmates and there's no turning back. he's the reason seph likes poetry in every verse. the softest snarkiest ship. probably the closest to a true YA-style soulmate seph has. she hasn't forgiven him for all the twilight jokes though tough luck jie & ricochet — the boys... the absolute chaos trio... i never expected seph and jie to fall for each other but honestly i should have. he falls so neatly into her "equally feral" type. ricochet is so calm and seph is kind of intoxicated by that. sheathed claws kind of vibe. just love these three their dynamic balances itself so well

@spungolden's dio — two femmes raised as weapons with deeply suppressed emotions, chillin in a murder alley, five feet apart cause theyre not g— (theyre gay. theyre so gay) these two are so sweet they sometimes make me tear up. they skipped the trauma stage and went straight into lesbian domestic fantasy with only occasional murder.

@chaoslulled oh boy(s). toji — brutally in love. they saw and embraced each other's monster, refused to shy away, and now they somehow revolve in this strange orbit of violent and incredibly soft with each other. i think he's the first of the current ship lineup that seph has in-thread said the L-word to. this ship was so easy to jump right into, the chemistry was like lightning in a bottle. satoru — one of the most genuinely unexpected slowburn ships i've stumbled into. these two read each other for filth INSTANTLY as lonely motherfuckers who, in some way or another, had loved and lost. they haven't even gotten to the oh-shit moment in the slowburn yet but i'm lookin forward to it yakuza sukuna — THE PAIN. THE SUFFERING. AUHHHGHGGGG HOL YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING MEEEE. these two are mirrors in the worst possible way. they've got their throats stuck under their boss' boot heels; they've been disfigured, they've had their siblings used as leverage, they've been made into muzzled dogs. despite hating each other at the start, they can't not recognize that, and it's led to this fierce protectiveness that isssss whoops evolving into feelings. i'm sure nothing will go wrong

@eraserisms' shota — AHHHHHHH god okay most of this ship has been pure plotting vibes and responses to memes, but i truly cannot wait to get into writing more of them because they own my heart and soul. i think they know each other to the marrow in a way that's not super common for seph, and the gentleness and caution with which they're starting to explore revisiting their care for each other is heartbreaking in the best way

@sasouken BEE!!!! ok chronologically(??): deku — so precious and wholesome from the start. your honor he's just a little guy with a big dumb crush. when i tell uuuuuu some of our plotting has literally made me tear up a little??? the absolute bleeding heart on this boy??? HURTS ME??? one day they'll hold hands casper — slated to be our angstiest dynamic, i just Know it. two motherfuckers who love their siblings, inextricably involved in a tangled web of crime and violence. two people who have lost so much and don't want to lose anyone ever again. i will die i WILL satoru — such... a different vibe than i was expecting in an amazing way?? his dynamic with seph is so fuckin sweet? so much physical touch born of trust and comfort. also again: her first ever fwb (for now), which is truly a wild thing to experience. sukuna — i .. . dont even know what to say about this one. (affectionate). he unlocked an entirely new dimension of freak in seph's psyche and attraction style that i couldn't comprehend before we started writing them but retrospectively makes so much sense. what the fuck is going on with these two i have no idea but i am OBSESSED with it. also writing them getting down nasty has been extremely fun, i'm enjoying it a lot

[pixlpxie]

Heeeyyy. I have a question. (SA trigger warning)

Do you think the desire for cnc stems from previous sexual trauma? I've seen an anon here say that she wanted to be full on tortured and held down by, was it Yunho or Hwa, I don't remember. I didn't even sense the consent in her ask. And I was like, I'd be down, and then I was like huhhh???? I would?????

I was almost sexually assaulted by an agemate when I was 14. Back then, I felt horrible. Like, I really went through it. Asking myself why I was even there in the first place yk? Blaming myself, and so on. I was also sooo against any form of non-consent, even if it was consensual. But now that I look back, I'm like, ugh I was over reacting and if I went back in time to that moment I would just tell my young self to shut up like it wasn't even that bad. (My morals do prevail and I know that any kind of SA is not acceptable. If it were anyone else, I would NEVER say this.)

But now I am so very willing to participate in cnc, 100%. Even take part in various kinks. I think I just grew up and became more self aware and honest with myself, but I would like to know if you think my previous experience contributed to this.

Also, you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable. I love love love your page, like it constantly reminds me that I'm not odd for liking the things I do😭🫶🫶. Thank you so much. You're a blessing to many of us, and some hATERS (cue annoying people) cannot even seem to understand that. Talking about lists and all that. Ew

Such topics do not make me uncomfortable, don't worry🤭its literally my job atp (im a psychologist now so I mean it)

First of all before I get into it, I want you to know that you were never the blame. Its not your fault that you had to go through something like that. I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope you are better now. And you feeling bad about non consensual plays for some time is totally normal, don't think that you had to enjoy this kink right away.

Honestly I had to research quite a lot on this topic before because even though I knew it was a perfectly normal kink, the reality of r*pe makes you doubt yourself. So I wanted to find out if there was something wrong with me or not because no one around me irl likes cnc. They think its extremely weird. It turns out nothing's wrong.

There are many reasons why a person can be into cnc, involving extreme versions of it. You can already guess some of them, which is that it's a really strong roleplay for power dynamics. Whether you are the agressor or the victim, you give in to the most extreme level of domination or submission. It's also primal. It can easily bring out your animalistic sides. Many people enjoy this. So for example if you like being the victim it can simply mean that you like not having control. Its a good way to relieve stress and release adrenalin too.

The other reason is that CNC can actually work as a coping mechanism. In fact, kinks and role plays are important for human psychology. They can help you resolve or at least deal with unresolved issues in two main ways. The first is that you might have experienced something related to the said kink/rp. In this example, you might have actually experienced SA. It's not easy to accept a reality like this and it can easily damage a person's identity and self-perception. It can take so long to get better. So you need to find a way to cope with this and resolve it. So over time you can start enjoying CNC as it would give you a sense of control that you couldn't have during the bad experience. You can control, change and alter the way the role play can go. This can help you to accept what's happened in a less damaging way, assuring that you are in control. It can also help you relive the experience over again, although this can sound bad, you can become insensitized to the situation.

The second way is that these unresolved issues don't have to be anything related to the roleplay. Meaning you don't have to experience SA to enjoy CNC. Such symbolic roleplays can help you deal with repressed emotions and help your subconscious to process the material there. As such roleplays also have clear cut archetypal figures, they can help you deal with deep-seated symbols, personas or narratives. Do you know why they say people with daddy kinks don't have a healthy relationship with their dad? Its not true all the time obviously (bc its so common now) but it's a good way to show you what I mean.

So no, not all people who enjoy CNC experience SA or similar events. But if you had, it can help you cope too. But kinks and fetishes are way too deeply rooted in your subconscious and they are madly complicated. Most of the time you will end up feeling so lost when you try to find out why you have a certain kink/fetish. So you're not really supposed to know why you like the things you like. You should let your psyche and subconscious deal with them. As long as theres constent and they dont hurt other people, you can enjoy anything. Its ok. Don't let people make you feel bad for enjoying CNC. Trust me, people who like this kink are actually really nice and care so much about their partner's well being. Meaning the agressor roleplayer don't actually want to r*pe anyone irl. That's what I've seen.

Overall, in your case, it might have contributed. And it's ok. Keep enjoying your roleplay and let it help you resolve your trauma.

And thank you so much I hope youll keep enjoying my blog and i was able to help 🥺🥹💖💖

[inkdrinkerworld]

Hello my love <3 I had an idea so I thought I’d request it! Bradley Bradshaw being so in love with you but cannot for the life of him talk to you normally. He’s a stuttering blushing mess. He finally convinced himself to ask you out but reader thinks he’s sick with a fever or something. He just goes with it and adventually spits it out that he wants to take you on a date (im sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense i don’t request very often and it’s hard to get my thoughts out clearly 😅) Xx

my lucky

cw: bradley is a bit shy, reader teases him, hangman being hangman, a supportive dagger squad, fluff

wc: 1.3k

Bradley is anything but subtle. The entire Hard Deck can see his desperate adoration for you, especially the Dagger Squad.

The only problem, when Bradley saw you twirling around the Hard Deck with drinks in your hand, and moving between tables with the breeze under your skirt and a little sheen of sweat on your skin he lost all ability to speak.

He wasn’t quite sure how it was that you made him so speechless, but he could never get out more than a, “Hey could I get six beers, Lucky?”

Phoenix, Jake and Bob had bets on how long it would take Bradley to introduce himself to you and so far, Jake and Bob were still in the range of their bets.

Tonight, the Hard Deck is full of some newer pilots and to say the least, you’re over them.

You’ll be the first to admit that there’s an unnatural appeal to men in their dress whites, but this group of pilots seem different.

You’re not in your typical outfit today- instead you’ve opted for a crocheted top on the balmy night, and a pair of jean shorts that you’ve embroidered with little beakers filled with red and pink hearts along the pockets and hem.

When you step behind the bar Penny whistles at you and smacks your ass making you laugh.

“You tryna catch the attention of a pilot tonight Lucky?”

You’re not entirely sure why she’s given you that nickname, but you love it.

“None of the newer ones, that’s for sure.” you say and she laughs.

Penny isn’t too fond of the newer pilots either, they’re rowdy, rude and just so full of themselves that they all rival Hangman.

You’re wiping glasses when the doors open, Maverick comes in and Penny blushes as he blows her a kiss making you roll your eyes.

They’re so in love it’s sickening in a good way.

Behind him is Jake, Phoenix, Bob and Coyote.

You’ve taken a liking to Phoenix and Bob, but the one you’ve really got your eye on is Bradley and recently he hasn’t been in as much.

You’re not sure why, but something about the way he can’t stop tripping over his words or looking down at his hands when he orders his drinks is endearing.

And it also helps that he’s always made you feel like a person and not a piece of meat.

“God damn sugar, you might be all I need tonight!” Jake shouts as he comes to the bar and you shake your head.

“Do you always try to sleep with pretty girls Jake?” you don’t ever really call them by their call signs; in your head that’s an extension of their work and they come to the Hard Deck to get away from that.

“Only the prettiest sugar,” he winks and Coyote pushes his shoulder.

“Leave the girl alone Bagman, you want Rooster to kick your ass?”

Bob shakes his as you set the beers down on the counter.

You gaze up at Phoenix who just shakes her head and mutters, ‘Coyote’s just being a dick.’

“How is he by the way? I heard Pen saying that he wasn’t too hot last time you guys were flying.”

Jake grins in his little impish way and it makes you nervous.

“You worried ‘bout the chicken sugar?”

“Jake,” you say and he puts his hands up. “He’s just not been coming in with you guys for a while.”

“You been looking out for him?” Jake pouts dramatically but before he can answer, the doors push open with a rush and in come the new flyers and you groan.

“Great, mini Hangman’s.” you mumble making everyone laugh besides Jake.

He mutters softly, “Ain’t nothing mini about me sugar.”

But your attention is stolen by Bradley who comes in dressed in his Hawaiian shirt and a pair of cargo pants and boots looking hotter than hell.

Maverick and Penny share a secret smile and Bob looks between you and Bradley and says to Phoenix, “Maybe I’ll actually win the bet.”

The disperse before Bradley makes his way to bar and when he stops you notice a harsh blush to his cheeks.

“Hey Bradley,” you say casually, trying to calm your racing heart. He smells heavily of eucalyptus and lavender and the scent reminds you of the ocean early in the morning.

“H-Hey,” he stammers and you give him a gentle smile. “Could I get a beer?”

You nod and as you bend to get the beer you hear him muttering to himself.

It’s too soft to make out but Bradley’s trying to hype himself up to asking you out.

He needs to get it done before he loses his edge, he’s only stammered once so far.

“Here you go,” you slide the bottle into his hand and hazard the comment, “You’ve been pretty mia ‘round here Bradshaw.”

It’s playful enough that Bradley’s stance softens and he gives an almost guilty smile.

“Yeah, I have,” he takes a swig of the beer. “Did you miss me?”

It’s your turn to smile and when you give him a nod, Bradley has all the courage to blurt,

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Bradley freaking Bradshaw just asked you on a date and your mouth has never felt drier but you’ve also never wanted to say yes more in your life.

But you also know pilots and you don’t want this to be just some little ‘date’ that ends with you just sleeping together.

You want something more with Bradley.

“A date with me Bradshaw?” you ask and he nods, eyes wide with panic.

He really hopes you don’t shut him down and report him to Penny.

You reach for his beer, Bradley’s eyes track your every move.

“What if you just wanna have sex?”

His eyes go even wider and you feel bad for dragging his chain.

He swallows just as you drain his beer.

“N-no! I wanna take you out on a date. Maybe to that music festival that’s coming up, I know your favourite artist is gonna perform and I was thinking maybe we could go,” he takes a breath, “together.”

His cheeks are rosy and you set the bottle back on the counter and smile.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous Bradley,” he goes a deeper red and you giggle. “I’d love to go out with you.” you say finally and he lets out a deep breath.

“You won’t regret it,” he leans into your space a little, “I promise you a great time.” His lips smack to your cheek and you gasp. A dimple pops in his cheek at the sound and you narrow your eyes.

“Is the shy Bradley a front?”

He shakes his head, “No, you still make me nervous, but now I’ve got a foot in the game so I’m a little less nervous.”

You laugh when Jake swears across the bar and hollers, “You couldn’t wait a fucking week Bradshaw? A week?”

Bob takes the money that Jake has in his open palm and Bradley turns to flip them both off.

“Be ready, Friday at eleven. The festival starts at 6 so we’re going for brunch.” He begins to walk over to his friends, when you call,

“Where are you picking me up, Big shot?”

He jogs back towards you with a bashful smile and offers his phone for your number.

Coyote yells out, “Damn! We could’ve had a shot if you didn’t say nothing sugar!”

“They don’t have a shot,” you whisper to Bradley who smiles. “You’ve got the best odds.”

He walks over to them with an extra pep in his step and smiles when you text him and see you’ve saved yourself as, ‘lucky,’ he sneakily adds ‘my’ in front of it and pockets his phone after responding.

[mama-vaggie]

Hi! Please feel free to ignore this, I am not trying to hate at all! Just curious!/gen Why do you tak care of Rhea but not other vent littles?/lh /gen /curious I know your mental health isn't the best, so I now that could be reason, I just thought that if it was, you would take a step back form Rhea too. Again no hate what so ever!/gen sending lots of love Sorry if this came off as rude or offensive!/gen

Dear Anon

I am Mod E, I dont normally answer asks in anyway on Vaggie's blog. Im just here to monitor the inbox, make special announcements, and block problematic blogs, however, Mod Ocean (aka Vaggie) and I agreed that its probably best that I handle your ask in particular in order to allow you to help you get a better understanding of what actually is going on here.

We know you meant nothing offensive in your ask and that you are genuinely concerned about Mod Ocean and her mental health. However 'stepping back' from Rhea is not possible. This is because Mod Ocean and Rhea are the same person. 

Now its a little hard for me to explain. Im going to be using terms generally used by systems (I myself am part of a system) but I want to make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR:

MOD OCEAN DOES NOT HAVE DID AND IS NOT A SYSTEM NOR IS SHE CLAIMING TO BE A SYSTEM!

IT IS JUST EASIER FOR MYSELF (MOD E, A MEDICALLY RECOGNIZED SYSTEM) TO EXPLAIN THIS USING SYSTEM TERMINOLOGIES!

Mod Ocean has a diagnosis of BPD. One of the effects of BPD is (quote taken from the NHS website) "disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – "cognitive distortions" or "perceptual distortions" " I personally dont like the use of the term 'disturbed' here but that is straight from this website: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms/

There isnt a lot of research into BPD and how these distortions manifest in individuals but for Mod Ocean, it manifests in almost alter-like personalities that have taken on an appearance and have histories all their own. They tend to 'come to front' to help Mod Ocean process the extreme emotional disregulation that comes with BPD.

Mod Ocean is my best friend, she has been a massive support in my own journey of discovering that im part of a system and encouraging me to speak to a therapist. Rhea is real. She has her own thoughts and feelings that can be hurt. I can always tell there is a massive difference when im talking to Ocean vs when Im talking to Rhea or Jadie vs when im talking to Vaggie. 

So your ask was sent with good intentions, yes. But you also sent it under an incorrect assumption. Vaggie cannot take a step back from Rhea. 

This is also part of the reason why Mod Ocean isnt always comfortable handling other vent regressors. They are always welcome to reach out to her, vent and cry and that but when they start getting violent/aggressive towards themselves or her is when she has to step back. 

I hope this makes sense and helps explain the situation a bit better. If you have any further questions please reach out to me on my blog @the-hellion-collective and ill answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability.

~Mod E 👾

[uniquely-plural]

I am pretty sure I'm a traumagenic system (undiagnised because my parents just think im "moody" amd dont belive i have other people in my head) but I have so many questions.

Is it OK that I still think of me as me and my alters as other people? I see alot of people who say "us" and "we" but I feel like I can't speak for them.

Is it normal for, when another alter fronts, me to still see through my eyes and know what's happening, but not ve able to control or stop it? It's like my consciousness is only in the alter I consider "me" and then there are other non-me people in my head, is that weird?

Would it be weird for me to say that at some points I've had conversations with my alter out loud, and it was like i could feel a vertical split in my physical body as to which alter was where? They were sort of like a caretaker whenever I was at my darker points, so they would talk to me and I'd talk back and it allowed for physical contact like hugs, ect, but I've never seen anyone describe something similar

Also, how on earth do people figure out what alter is what? It's like my consciousness (me) is in the front park of a semi truck abd the rest are all in the back so I can't see them but I am really sure that they're there.

I havr so many questions and no one to ask T T sorry if this is too much

It's always okay to ask questions! We can do our best to answer.

There are a lot of frameworks we use to understand plurality, and I don't believe any one of them is inherently superior to another. So when you're asking yourself, 'is this okay?' - I would try to ask yourself, 'does this feel right to me? Does framing things in this way help me function better and be happier?'

One person, just as an example, could have DID and figure out that understanding their alters as completely separate people from him was holding back his trauma recovery. Understanding his alters as part of himself and developing compassion and acceptance for them could be therapeutic.

For another system, knowing they are completely separate people who just happen to share a body is the understanding they need to be respectful towards each other and work together.

So yes, in your case? It's totally okay, normal, and common to feel like your alters are other people and you cannot speak for them. Some people always feel this way, and then some people feel like that at the beginning, but their understanding changes once they get to know their system more, or if they work on improving disordered dissociate barriers.

We can speak as an unit because we have a monoconscious, median system core. In other systems, each member prefers to speak only for themselves. That's also perfectly fine.

As for still seeing through your eyes while another alter fronts, that does sound possible if you have no amnesia barriers and possibly co-fronting, in the sense someone else is fronting as in 'control of the body' while you are still in front as in 'awareness of the outside world'. You could look into possession and possession style switches.

In polyconscious systems, members have their own individual consciousness.

It's not weird to have conversations out loud, if that's what helps you communicate. And that link to the possession entry mentions how it can also be experienced as an alter taking control of part of the body, so it sounds like you might have been in control of one half and your alter was in control of the other one, which makes sense to me. I'm very glad to hear they took care of you.

Not being aware of a lot of information about your alters or system is very common. Developing a better understanding is often a process of trying things and finding what works for your system, and it can vary a lot depending on things like level of internal communication, what barriers are present, etc. This post on Mapping your system could point you towards some possibilities.

I hope you found that helpful, and thank you for sharing your experiences.

[kani-miso]

mini fugue es and fugue jackalope character design analysis

tw: mention of uncomfortable topics such as child neglect and child abuse

appreciate @hectorthedoggo for making this series and also please appreciate the illustrator!!! (im not sure if they have any socials yet)

ngl i sound like an english teacher when analyzing , also idk if i over analyzed some parts so sorry if did (i know the ties shape isn't important but i just needed to include it)

note: some will be copy pasted from a previous analysis!

fugue es

starts from top to bottom

hat : omg!! i love the hat so much!! ok, anyways. their hat is presumably a peaked hat. peaked hats are usually used by soldiers or armed forces, their hat is blue so they're a part of the air forces (referencing the fact that their room is on top of the tower, in air?). peaked hats have embroidery on their crown that are usually called scrambled egg(s). the scrambled egg is supposed to determine their ranks and/or organization, their scrambled egg is a key hole. that perticular shape can possibly fit all kinds of keys, referencing how naive and how easy it is for the abusers come to their life to abuse them < if the keys symbolize the abusers. (also i think its silly to think they're in any organization). the ropes connecting to the keyhole,,,, you murdered me with this one,,, ropes symbolize tangibility of physical or emotional capture in the embodiment of a rope or lasso. even worse that the rope is given by jackalope (the rope is possibly brighter and more saturated than the one given by the past abusers because jackalope acts as the light in es' life).

keyring : haha, theres alot to say. lets talk about what the keys represent first. the individual keys represent past abusers, and the keyring as a whole represents jackalope (also everytime es thinks negatively about abuse and jackalope, their head starts to ache in pain. are their thoughts controlled by jackalope so they wont have a negative view on him?). why would jackalope be the whole keyring you may ask, i have the answer for you curious creatures. jackalope has abused es in many ways, such as verbal abuse, neglect, physical abuse (?), possibly domestic abuse based off the 10 chairs in dining room, emotional/psychological abuse, being toxically overprotective and possibly child exploitation. since all the keys represent past abusers, jackalope is just all of them as a single entity. well, which key represent which abuser? this is from left to right btw. -key n1/ household mortice key, mortice keys are normally used on internal doors to improve security. personally, i think this is symbolism for toxically overprotective parenting, they are locking the internal doors of a child to improve the security they have around them. -key n2/patio double glazing key, patio double glazing keys are used to lock windows, these locks are strong and cannot be opened once locked. personally, i think this is symbolism for physical abuse. once they are with the abusers, they're locked with them forever until someone opens the lock. -key n3/master key, master keys are used to unlock several locks. personally i think this is symbolism for domestic abuse. once your abuser finds out about your partners, friends, family, they will unlock that lock to continue their abuse. -key n4/first level security key, first level security keys are used to secure a lock shut. personally i think this is symbolism for neglect. once you're with your abuser, there's no other place to go. you stay with your abuser or rot in the streets.

outfit (top) : not much to say about this but i'll try to make something out of it. their outfit heavily resembles a uniform. uniforms are distinctive clothing worn by members of the same organization or body or by children attending certain schools. i find it suspicious they're wearing a uniform instead of normal clothing (< its even mentioned in the fic itself) when they're not even in any organization, especially that jackalope gave it to them made it even more suspicious. but what type of uniform are they wearing exactly? i think it might be a waitress uniform, that's the closest i can get to identifying their uniform. it hurts that they're wearing a waitress uniform,,,

belt and tie : the main point is analyzing the tie so here we go. tie shape = (copy pasted from prev analysis with additional notes) 'who gave this to them?' i suspect it might be from their past abusers(i have a theory that there are 4 past abusers by the number of keys on their keyring). 'what's the purpose of it?' the tie on their waist is tied into a knot. many cultures including japan use knots to symbolize unity. es and their past abuser will always be tied into a knot together because no matter where they go, the abuse stays. it either continues from another person, or the previous scars of abuse never heal (both physically and mentally). the knot also seems tight, a tight knot means to maintain a close and secure hold on something. it can be used figuratively or literally. in a literal sense, the phrase can refer to tying a knot that is difficult to undo. you can think of it as es being a rope that has been tied tightly to their abusers, because of that its hard to undo/untie them from their abusers because of how close they've become to them. 'the tie has 2 ends, what's the meaning?' : the number 2 usually symbolize the duality of two subjects, the ones that are important to note are : yes/no, true/false, and yin/yang. yes/no, true/false are self explanatory, yin/yang on the other hand. 'yin' represents coldness and darkness (< es' uniform overall colorscheme is cold representing yin, mind you this is give by jackalope). and 'yang' represents light and warmth (< es' tie on their waist is a warm color, this is given by their past abusers). i wonder if this is implying that es still cares and resonate warmth from their past abusers and feels coldness and a sense of darkness when getting taken care of by jackalope..(no wonder pain is nostalgic for them) also, in japan, 二 (ni). It represents creation, time (past, present, and future). 'why does the end of their tie look like a teru teru bozu?' a teru teru bozu is a traditional japanese talisman used to bring good weathers and to stop or prevent rainy days. rain is essential when growing crops, so it symbolizes the growth of a new family (found family and biological). the fact that they are using a teru teru bozu that prevents rain implies that they are being held back in finding a "new family" :( (also this might not be important but teru teru bozu's are dolls that are hung by the neck). tie color= the color gold is the symbol of the sun and of the god's power and mercy. gold is often used in temples and shrines. due to the desaturation and discolorment of the tie, it has a different meaning. desaturated colors or dull colors are usually associated with poverty and aging. seems like that tie was given from a long time ago (more material for the past abuser theory) especially that seems like the edges of the end already looks like it's semi-decaying. if we still use the gold symbolize the sun and of god's power and mercy, then they are barely at god's mercy, it sort of references what abuse victims go through if they speak out their voice. if you speak out, some god's will respect you, some god's wont (god's as in people in society). perhaps they're in a world where abuse victims more often get shunned away, they are barely at god's mercy.

cape : their cape is just normal imo, the thing that interested me is the galaxy in their cape. a galaxy can symbolize aspirations and the patterns of tomorrow you are shaping through your beliefs. their beliefs are specifically centered around their abusers and abusers only. the tomorrow they're going to shape is just the same as yesterday, they wont stop the cycle of abuse because to their "own" beliefs what they're enduring is not abuse, but discipline. their cape is most visible on the left side of their body. the left side usually represents femininity, they embrace the traditional femininity by being vulnerable and having puffy cheeks

boots : their boots have more of those rope thingys. those ropes are the ones given by jackalope, not the past abusers. the rope that is given by jackalope is thin and easily broken, meaning they could just be "re-sheltered" by someone else. thats why there's little restraints on their boots. there are 2 restraints on each boot, which again symbolizes duals/duos. the duo being es and jackalope. also, on the top of their boots, there's a gold colored leg warmer (< that are on boots). the thought of their abusers keeps them warm, thats why their keyring warms up whenever they think about them.

fugue jackalope

starts from top to bottom

antlers : oh my. his antlers are just his usual antlers, the only difference being that there's ropes wrapped around it. i want to point out that the ropes warp comfortably, and not made into a tight knot (< like es). i find it interesting that there are 4 parts that are branching out of the base antler, because es has 4 keys on their neck and jackalope has 4 secondary antler parts (idk what they're called). every rope on the branched out antlers connect to each other, it makes me have a suspicion that all of the abusers knew each other. they're all not tied in a knot together because they are simply lurking and not uniting together. also i think, gold is being used as the color of the abusers because they're supposed to feel grandeur, luxurious, rich, and sort of unbearable is smart. gold is treated like the superior color, the one everyone loves and likes. es color is presumably dull navy blue which is associated with trust and loyalty. dull colors are also treated as poor colors so es has to cling to their abusers to seem presentable to the world.

hat : AUGH the symbol,, his hat is just like es' hat, its a peaked hat. the only difference is his scrambled egg. his scrambled egg symbol is an eye, referencing that he sees all. eyes usually are associated with clairvoyance, omniscience, and a gateway to the soul. the eye symbol has a dull orange color which shows his lifelessness. eyes can also mean vigilance, intelligence, moral conscience and truth. it hurts because in this situation it's a total lie. he's literally trying to brainwash them into thinking all he says is only truth, making them base all adults off of him.

sash : this wasn't really important but i just had to. the sash he's wearing doesn't really look like a sash, it just looks like es' keyring without the keys, although there's a difference in length and width. i think jackalope has not been involved with the past abusers because he doesnt have any keys, anywhere. also his sash looks lifeless.

cape : i think i got a heart attack. the only thing im analyzing is the symbol btw. i cant find anything similiar with that symbol anywhere so the closest i can get is the Illuminati symbol. if im not mistaken, the Illuminati symbol can be found on the all-seeing eye/eye of providence. the all-seeing eye is supposed to represent god. this references the fact es sees and treats jackalope like their god no matter what they endure because of him, they must bow down as he is the all knowing all seeing man. and i might be crazy, but i think there's no symbol on the left side of his cape, what does it mean? the right side is the masculine side, he embraces the masculinity by assertive, controlling, and aggressive behavior. also it might be a play of words, right side, right=correct. (maybe its just because the symbol is hidden idk) with es leaning more to the feminine spectrum and jackalope to toxic masculinity, it shows the huge power imbalance in their relationship.

thanks for reading, i will go back to yappington. have a reward for staying alive

[marylily-my-beloved]

Hi, I'm actually so nervous and unsure about interacting with anyone online so please forgive me if I sound too awkward.

I'd like to ask, what's your favorite ship and is there any specific reason why you love that ship? If you don't want to share the reason, it's alright. I'm curious and I'd love to talk about fanfics and everything related to anyone who doesn't judge.

My favourite ship..... Ok since I cannot pick one, I will pick a decent, good, normal human amount of like 3.... thanks for the ask btw

(these aren't in order at all sorry abt that :() (im also rlly sorry it took me soooooooo long to answer this :() (and sorry abt the typos I know there are a lot)

MARYLILY GRRRRR. I love marylily with my whole being, because #1 lily is such a baddie, I'm such a simp for her. I also really love Mary, but now on to the real stuff. I really love marylily because it was one of the first sapphic marauders ship I found (second to Dorlene), and I feel like it really resonates with me, especially in a canon sense. I really love it because they were like best friends in a way, and they definitly knew each other. I feel like it would start out with Mary being super jealous of everybody who got too close to Lily, thinking it just being her gut instinct to protect her friends, but eventually it devolps into something more. I also love unrequited marylily, especially from Lily's side at some point. I love the angst that comes with canon marylily, but I also love like non canon au marylily, like I love all MARYLILY. I also love them both, and the dynamic.

WOLFSTAR IDSHLFHISDFSDKLF. I love wolfstar with my whole heart and soul. It is the reason I got into the fandom, because I read ATYD, and then tcoptp and that is probably like my favourite wolfstar fic ever. I rlly like wolfstar bc to me I feel like its the og best friends to lovers and also like the mutual pining! the angst! Sirius in azkaban, the way they were in the first war? I eat up anything wolfstar, and personally I feel like romantically this is the ship I love the most with Remus and Sirius. I love the dynamic between them, like literally especially when Sirius like runs away from home and then like DLHDKLJFKLJLKFD.

Dorlily (bc I'm a sapphic lover FIRST AND FOREMOST) (and also I love almost any ship with lily... I'm a simp) I love dorlily because they are one of The Power Couples™ and they're both so powerful, in canon and fanon. I also really love it bc I feel like it would start with Academic rivals, and Dorcas staring to fall for Lily, and then Lily seeing one of the quidditch games and starting to fall for Dorcas? I personally hc Dorcas as one of the prefects in fifth (? or sixth?) year and they started dating during that time, when they had to patrol something together, and also like they would get together they would keep it a secret until they're friend groups kind of blended together (in fanon) and in canon honestly, when Dorcas joins TOFTP (the order of the phoenix?) and they would live together until they break up. I also love the angst that would come with unrequited dorlily, where when Dorcas dies, and Lily mourns her first love until she also dies.

sorry this took me forever @wolfstaranddrarry <3 thanks for the ask btw

[redux-iterum]

i am aware you can't answer this right now, but! as a patron, your Tigerclaw. ough. it's been a good couple months(?) since i read his death scene and i am still reeling from the impact (in a positive way). just. everything. i am lacking in words tonight but just how emotionally charged it is, from every angle, in every way......... man. thats the kind of shit i hope to write one day. "emotional impact that feels like being beaten with a really heavy pillow (in a good way)" my beloved <3

OH same patron anon from like 2 minutes ago with the Spoiler Comment Question, here with a Hopefully-Not-Spoiler Comment Question. Once again; I love how you write Tigerclaw!!! the fact that I was, in the moment, disappointed and a little upset that Lionface was chosen as deputy over him, the fact that, on more than one occasion, I found myself wondering-slash-hoping that he was somehow, in some way, a red herring and not. y'know. responsible for the deaths that have ALWAYS been his fault in every rewrite and retelling. as if I didn't already know. as if it wasn't a fact I've known since I was a small child reading WC for the first time. damn. as i said before: many thoughts no words to express them But I Love, patron anon back for round 3. sorry that im spamming you with messages i just keep having More Thoughts and apparently no filter. I love how you write Tigerclaw as, like..... not a grand cunning mastermind, possibly not even in his own eyes. Prideful, yes, but there's this element of.... i don't quite know how to put it. He's just a guy. He's just a guy who loves his mate and his son, and is excited for the kits his mate is expecting, if a little apprehensive. Just a guy who is dangerous and terrible because he is so, so very certain that he knows what The Right Thing To Do is, and is willing to do whatever it takes to reach that ideal, but his idea of The Right Thing To Do is so horrible and skewed and dangerous. He does what he has to do, or what he thinks he has to. Does he see it as self-sacrifice, in a way? stooping so low for the sake of those he cares about? sorry again for the multiple asks but i'm obsessed with villains like this and have only just now managed to put the words together. cause like.... a lot of truly awful people aren't masterminds. They're people who are so very certain that they're in the right, and are so very wrong about that. i do love flamboyant, Evil-with-a-capital-E cartoon villains a lot (when done right), but there's something about having a villain be so normal, so clearly An Average(ish) Person, someone who may not even see how horrific their actions are. NOT THAT ANY OF THIS IS AN EXCUSE, it's not that they're misdirected or confused. it's like... the dead certainty that they are Correct and other people are Wrong. There's something very..... tactile? about it. "Real" might be the right word but it doesn't feel exactly right. It's like, this is a person you could meet. A person you could know. And they're just quietly (or not-so-quietly) abhorrent in so many ways. sorry for rambling my head is full of thoughts tonight and i apparently cannot shut up </3

Much gratitude and flustering for these asks, man, golly. I've hoped that I've improved in writing over time, and asks like these make me more confident. Thank you for reading along! (And for pledging on Patreon, an absolute of course.) Apologies for not getting to these sooner, I was saving them for today.

Your assessment of Tigerclaw is spot-on. I would say he THINKS he thinks of himself as a normal, good husband and warrior who's doing his best and having a humble life. There's only so real that can be when he also has the constant thought of "I am the only one who sees the truth and I need to Fix Things because no one else can". He thinks he's so much more honest and realistic than he is. You know people like that. I know people like that. The most dangerous person is one that can fool themselves.