#im sorry 2 my followers who were not involved in this but i absolutely needed to get this out there

[alstroemerian-dragon]

thinking about the several month period where the survivors (plus the two who are already awake) work to 1) wake up mahiru 2) support her through healing and then 3) wake up peko

and how utterly Miserable that period of time has to be for fuyuhiko

(more under the cut because its another long one babey)

like. okay. heres a couple of disclaimers: this is a repeat, but i have not watched the anime. so if the character dynamics from it are your canon, just know i may not follow that. second, i… dont really think about mahiru that much. shes not really that much of a character to me, given what were given in canon, and the Casual Man Hating Mom Friend Lesbian (and i know she canonically has a crush on hajime so shes definitely bi or pan dont yell at me) trope just does nothing for me im sorry HOWEVER. in contrast to fuyuhiko, and in terms of what, in my brain, she does during the tragedy (which will probably WILDLY contradict literally everyone else’s opinions), there IS something in… her* arc post sim (that * will come back) that DOES interest me. bear with me

fuyuhikos ingrained belief system revolves almost entirely around the phrase ‘There is always a bigger fish.’ there is always going to be someone stronger, bigger, and more dangerous than you, so you have to work to be the strongest, biggest, and most dangerous you can in order to stay alive. along with that, he’s had very strangled views of what it means to be a Man shoved down his throat by most likely his father, so to him, being a man means being Big and Strong and Dangerous. but at the same time… he knows thats all bullshit. hes had other influences in his life, peko, his sister and, in my mind, his mother and other strong women high up in his clan, that have shown him the falsehoods of a lot of those claims. at the same time, he also knows, in the back of his head, that he physically can not meet those expectations for being a man. but… he is one. i think hes Solid in that. so it ends up all conglomerating and fighting in his head in a very confusing mess, which honestly has to be exhausting.

mahiru, by contrast, seems to have this very odd two-part system of beliefs, where being a man means being Confident and Strong and Protective, but at the same time, men are fundamentally Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. women need to be protected by men, but also men are unnecessary. its… yeah its honestly familiar lmao. and some of this is the writers’ beliefs seeping in and some of it is bad writing but at the end of the day its what weve got.

so, to me, it really feels like the two of them would have absolutely hated each others guts during school. fuyuhiko is neither Big and Strong and Caring, nor is he Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. he cares a lot, but not openly, or in a way that mahiru would easily recognize. hes an enigma in her eyes. and to fuyuhiko, mahiru is stuck in a frame of mind hes been fighting since he was a child, and as much as he’d try to be sympathetic, his anger has a tendency to get the better of him.

so… sato’s death would only have made this situation worse.

i dont think any of them knew he was responsible for her death. i dont think fuyuhiko told ANYONE aside from peko, especially since this would have been in their second year, after junko had begun sinking her talons into the entire class. how could he trust any of them? and he has to have known about her connection to mahiru, its the only way he could have found out she was involved in natsumi’s death. he kept it from her in particular, knowing she wouldn’t understand, knowing she would blame him, knowing it would just make things worse.

she probably doesnt realize the full extent of everything until… until after she wakes up.

im not gonna go too much into them as despairs, but lets just say that fuyuhiko… is responsible for a lot of bad things, even ones that happened to his fellow limbs. mahiru also did a lot of shit, but hiko i think is one of the only ones who hurt his so-called allies. and her cheery, fake, influencer-like attitude absolutely grated on him like crazy, resulting in a lot of screaming matches and even physical altercations.

so, when mahiru wakes up, her opinion of fuyuhiko is the lowest it could possibly be. hes an enigma, a stick in the gears, a man who hasnt yet shown his true colors and yet is also a violent, cruel dictator, fulfilling every expectation she has for the kind of man she expects the Ultimate Yakuza to be.

except he isnt. because by the time she wakes up, its been over a year and a half since the program shut down, and fuyuhiko is a very, very different person. and he doesnt have a low opinion of her at all. hes incredibly sympathetic to her situation, understands how much pain shes probably in, understands theres definitely a lot more under her surface beliefs that he doesnt see or know yet. thinks it was incredibly brave of her to stand up to him despite knowing he could be violent and dangerous.

and as the days go by, she sees that. sees him interacting with the others, sees him laugh at one of hajimes stupid jokes, sees him smile and roll his eyes at kazuichi’s physical affection, sees him lean on his cane when his leg flares up, sees him rubbing at the scars around his eye when they ache. sees how much respect he treats her with, how much space he gives her while not avoiding confrontations, because hes done running. hes been running for far too long, and hes done with it.

i think it takes a long time. weeks, maybe. months, possibly. but i think it starts to weigh on her mind, that she cant keep treating him like a criminal. like a weapon. cant keep ignoring his humanity in favor of the label of Violent Man that sits in her brain. and, additionally, interacting with the others, with hajime, with sonia, with kazuichi and sagishi. she starts to realize how utterly stupid the rigid gender structures that exist in her heard really are.

basically what im saying is i think mahiru is a he/him butch bi woman because i love to hit characters with the Cool Ass Gender ray. this is where that * comes back by the way thats why thats there because mahirus not a girl but also he is a girl but also hes not. hope this helps <3 also he and fuyuhiko are Worsties. they should eventually get to a point where they can both make jokes about the fact that fuyuhiko tried to kill him and can also have serious conversations about the sato and natsumi shit without devolving into unproductive arguing.

AND THEN PEKO WAKES UP FUCK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT—

[thisismysecondrodeo]

you wrote a second part to the getting ready blurb. it has dominant ted. and aftercare ted. LIVES WERE CHANGED?????

no joke i do think this man has so many layers. and that those type of moments could really help him with his anxiety, to a degree. he has to really focus on the moment and on who's with him. he can't feel like too much if he's feeling needed.

on this topic, maybe you could give it a try at that dynamic outside of the bedroom? like small day to day decisions that the reader waits for him to make for them, and checking in before making plans, even if he's not involved...working up to him realizing he can have more of that if he wants. fully taking care of someone? (if this sounds weird im sorry and you absolutely don't have to)

AN: LMAO so glad dom!Ted was life-changing!! This request reminds me so much of the dom version of @exuberantocean 's fic Savor which I highly highly recommend and took some inspiration from. I definitely had to do some research on D/S dynamics for this so if it's not quite what you’re into or not what you were picturing I apologize, but I hope you still enjoy! I decided to continue the Getting Ready - Getting Busy universe, let’s call this one Getting Off haha

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Established Relationship, Date Night, Dom!Ted, sub!Reader, dom-sub dynamics and conversation, kink color system, oral sex (male receiving)

Continuation of "Getting Ready" read part 1 & part 2 on tumblr or ao3

Fic masterlist

-

Ted deferred to other people… a lot. It was something you noticed as soon as you started dating and you were suspicious at first that he was just trying to butter you up, until you hung out with him and his friends and he was much the same: always conscientious, always putting others' needs before his own, never wanting to disappoint. 

You, on the other hand, were not much for deferring to other people. For years you’d been called opinionated at best, bossy and demanding at worst. You were fiercely independent but you had gotten a little tired of having to be, of having to do everything yourself. Ted didn’t seem bothered by your driving force, but the more comfortable you got with each other, the more you realized Ted’s seeming submissivness was more tied up in his wanting to please others, not necessarily a fact of his nature. It was easy to explore this in a sexual context, easy to encourage him to tell you exactly what he wanted, to encourage him to take, and to think about himself. But you can tell his dominance wasn’t extending into the rest of his life. His people-pleasing tendencies were weighing him down and stressing him out. He had a panic attack after work one night and you decided it was time for you to start planting some seeds. You caught his attention over breakfast the next morning. 

“Hey, honey,” you tried to keep your voice light and casual. 

“Mmh,” Ted responded, taking a sip of coffee, immediately on alert. 

“You know how I like it sometimes when you're more…dominant? In the bedroom?” Your sentences went up at the end as you tried to plan where the conversation was going even as you were saying it. 

Ted smirked, sitting his coffee down and pulling you towards him so you stood between his legs where he sat at the kitchen table. You draped your arms over his shoulder and smiled down at him as he tightened his grip on your hips just so. 

“Oh is that the mood we’re in this mornin’,” Ted teased, “I do know. Why?” 

“Well, I was just curious…I like when we do that because I get to…let go. I’m only thinking about feeling good, and making you feel good and following instructions. And I spend so much of the rest of my time making decisions and being responsible that it's a nice reprieve. And I guess I was just wondering what it feels like for you? Is it… is it hard for you to be in that headspace?”

Ted tilted his head, letting his hands slip under your pajama top just a few inches so he could stroke his thumbs along the soft skin above your waistband as he thought about your question. “That’s a good question. I think…well, I’m sure you know I worry a lot about other people and making sure they’re happy and it's nice to have a time where the world narrows to just you and me, and making us both happy is well within my control. When we’re… in that space, I don’t worry about being too much because in those moments you really need me.” 

“I always need you, baby. And I rely on you more than you know,” you said before kissing him, smiling as he hummed against your lips. “I think…it could be something we could explore more outside of the bedroom? If you’re interested? I think it could help you feel more in control.”

“Like, when I picked that dress out for you?”

“Yeah, exactly. You’d be making more decisions for us. For me.” 

“This is…you’re not just doing this for me right? Because I’d love to try it and I love taking care of you in every way that I can, but not if I knew you were just letting me…I don’t know, take advantage. Just to quiet this silly lil noggin’ of mine.” 

“I think of it more like making sure you know just how much I need you. That okay? Just to try it?”

Ted took a deep breath and you tried to imbue every emotion in your gaze so he’d know how serious you were, how much you wanted it.

“Okay, but you’ll have to…show me.” 

You nodded, knowing there’d need to be more conversations, more boundaries. For now, you just climbed into his lap and kissed him hard, before he lifted you up onto the kitchen table, hooking his fingers under the waistband of your shorts and underwear and sliding them down as he sank to his knees in front of you. 

-

“Hey sweetheart,” Ted called, slinging his backpack off into its place next to the closet and then toeing off his sneakers. You got up from the couch and greeted him with a kiss, unzipping his jacket and helping him out of it. “The gang’s meeting down at the Crown & Anchor for dinner, I figured I’d ask if you want to go.” 

You looked Ted over, at the tiredness in his face, the tense line of his shoulder, “Is that what you want to do?”

“Honestly, I’m a little tired, but if you want to—” 

“Great, we’ll stay home!” You kissed him on the cheek and took his hand, leading him back towards the living room and letting him flop down, pleased when you heard the sigh he released, stroking a hand down his thigh as he sank into the cushions. He smiled, his eyes closed, as he felt your hand movements become more deliberate. 

“You startin’ somethin’?” 

You didn’t respond right away, kissing him instead, satisfied when he easily slid his tongue between your lips, knotted his hand firmly in your hair to hold you steady. 

The two of you separated for a breather, “Well what else would we do with all this extra time?”

-

You and Ted had discussed hard and soft limits, the nuance of directness and domination vs demands.  The two of you agreed to start slowly and you started bringing things up to him more often. You both knew you could go beyond him picking out your outfits and nail colors or telling you if you could go out with friends, but the little surge of arousal you got when he did those things, the way you kissed him after like a reward for a job, well done encouraged your patience. And Ted had seemed calmer, freer than he seemed since the two of you had started dating. The panic attacks weren’t gone, but when he came home he was centered and present and focused on you. 

Each decision you placed in Ted’s hands was a little piece of control you could easily give over to him. But you wanted to kick it up a notch now that the two of you had been in a number of scenes and situations you could point to to say, I really liked that. You wanted to encourage Ted not just to decide for you but to ask for things from you.  You texted Ted to ask if he’d be okay with that, experimenting with asking for more. 

Ted: What did you have in mind, honey?

You: Can I surprise you? And you give me a color if you’re not into it?

Ted: Sure, I think I’d like that :)

-

You gave Ted some time to settle in after work, but couldn’t help but sidle up to him, drag your hands along his back and sides, play with the hem of his shirt. 

“Can we order in?” 

“Well, with Henry visitin’ I figured we’d keep eatin’ out to a minimum, but—”

“Oh, so you want me to cook for you,” you teased lightly, clinging to Ted as he poked through the refrigerator for something that he could make. 

“No, it was my decision, I can—” 

“You want me to cook for you.” You repeated in a sultry tone, stepping between Ted and the refrigerator. He looked at you confused, but let the refrigerator close behind you as you slipped your fingers into the belt loops of his khakis. 

‘I mean, if you don’t mind, I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to—” 

“You want me,” you said slowly, sinking to your knees in front of him, and looking up into his wide eyes, watched his pupils blow with lust, “to cook for you.” 

“Are we still talkin’ about cookin’ or…?” 

You ran your hands up Ted’s thighs, watching the gears in his head turn as he tried to understand what was happening. You thumbed open the button of his pants and slowly tugged down the zipper. Despite his confusion, he was clearly interested in what was happening. You wouldn’t actually make a move until he understood. 

“You want me to cook for you.” You stated simply, nodding after so he’d take the cue to repeat after you. 

“I want you to cook for me?” 

You smiled broadly, and nodded with enthusiasm before hooking your fingers into the waist of his boxer briefs. “This okay?”

Ted nodded, “Sure. Yes, but why…?” You released him from his underwear, kissing up his thighs before pulling away slightly. 

“Color?”

You could see the pieces click as Ted’s gaze turned resolute, “Green. Very, very green.”

“Then say it again,” you said softly, “please, sir.” Ted groaned, a low, guttural sound that shot straight to your core, quickly dampening the fabric between your legs. 

“I want you to cook for me,” Ted stated, looking down at you as you whimpered and wrapped your lips around him, running your tongue up the underside of him and hollowing your cheeks. “Fuck me, God, you’re so good, darlin’. You’re going to suck my dick and then cook dinner like a good girl, aren’t you?” 

You moaned around him, and tugged his thighs toward you, encouraging him to thrust forward and it didn’t take long before he was coming down your throat. Before you knew it you were on the kitchen table, back arching. Ted’s face was between your thighs, his fingers and tongue working you up expertly until he pushed you over the edge.  

Ted ordered in anyway, which you had a feeling would happen after the two of you curled into each other, sated and content on the couch. 

“We should…talk about earlier,” you said, setting your plate of curry aside and turning to face Ted. 

“Yeah, it seemed you were very into cookin’ dinner all of a sudden,” Ted chuckled, reaching for your hand and stroking his thumb across your knuckles, but you could see the anxiety in his brow. 

“You know, we talked about amping things up before, how I like submitting to you and what it does for you to be able to have control... That was kind of the idea. If that was okay for you?” 

Ted looked at you thoughtfully, “The problem wasn’t that it wasn’t okay, that it didn’t feel good…Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard. But I guess I’m just worried, personally, that I get off on…bossing you around? I don’t know, sweet pea, I mean that was very fun, don’t get me wrong but…”

You stood up and started pacing, “I know how it sounds, but I LIKE needing you. I like relying on you. And you said you like being needed, like being able to focus in. It doesn’t have to be an all the time thing, there are certain, you know phrases we can use or even just certain days or times, and there doesn’t have to be, like, punishment, though that could also be fun, but—”

Ted interrupted quickly, noticing that you were spiraling. “Hey, hey, that’s all I wanted to hear. I just want to know that we’re both getting something out of this.”

“Oh it was more than just something,” you smirked, finally standing still again.  

Ted smiled, reaching for you again, “Alright, so it sounds like we can do a little bit more of that. Why don’t you come sit down and we’ll talk about it?”

You grinned, winking at Ted as you followed his instructions. “Yes sir.” 

[quit-125]

Moodboard💗

Congratulations, @shuuuuush, for getting over 100 followers I'm so proud of you!!🥳

This fic honestly gives me enchanted by taylor Swift vibes😭😅

This is a special fic jst for you and i hope you like it!🥰

Word count: i honestly dont know💀

Paragraphs:31?

Warnings:Strong language, detailed kissing(is that even a thing?😭)

(Not using Y/N)!

Marly and Kenny met in New york, and they instantly caught feelings for each other,but what troubles will they have to face? Will they end up together? Or will someone try to get in between them?

Taylor-your best friend

Kenny- Stranger

to lover

Aj- your friend

Niko-your friend

Chunkz-Your friend

Sharky-your friend

The first time i laid eyes on you-Kenny

Chapter 1 out of 5🫶🏻

I felt the warm water hitting my body as i washed my hair. I truly needed a warm shower after a long day. I grabbed a dry towel and stepped out of the shower. I dried my hair and body and put on my clothes. Just before i could lay down, i got a call from taylor."Marly? Where the hell are you? I asked you to come over 20 minutes ago. Did you seriously forget?" Said taylor. "Oh shit im so sorry. I'll be there soon!"i said. "Yeah.. okay." taylor said. I grabbed my keys and unlocked my front door.

Kennys POV:

"Hey guys! Today we'll see who can make the most money in New york in just 24 hours!" Said niko. I honestly hated these challenges. We had to do stupid things for money. But this time it wasn't as bad since New york was absolutely beautiful! I was looking forward to spending time here. "Kenny?Bro?You good?" I heard aj say. "What? Oh yeah, im good." I said. "Yeah, if you say so." Said aj. There we're 2 teams, me,Aj and niko. Chunkz and sharky. Since we had more people, Chunkz and sharky got a headstart. As i walked through the streets of New York, i could hear chatter and laughter all around me. Most of it was from my friends. I didn't like to get involved in many conversations,im more of a quiet person. Dont get me wrong,i love hanging out with my friends, of course, but sometimes i prefer to be lost in my own thoughts.

Marlys POV:

I was in a hurry. i didn't want Taylor to get even more mad at me..well, that's what i thought. I was about to cross the road when i saw 3 extremely familiar boys. "No fucking way..." i whispered to myself. It was no other than the beta squad! And kenny was there.. he was my BIGGEST crush, and i was his #1 fan...well, that's what i think, at least. I just stopped and stared at Kenny, and i couldn't help but blush. Just before i was going to talk to them, i saw kenny looking at me, and we made eye contact. My stomach was filled with butterflies. i gave an awkward smile and waved as he did the same. I felt like a complete idiot. I digged my face into my hands in embarrassment.

Kennys POV:

I could feel a pair of eyes looking at me, i looked to my left to see the most beautiful girl ever,my heart was beating like crazy. I smiled at her, and we made eye contact. She was gorgeous.. We instantly clicked.

Marlys POV:

I saw them crossing the road, so i thought it was a perfect opportunity to go talk to them. They were getting closer and closer,multiple thoughts ran threw my head. i stood there, not knowing what to do as he approached me.

Kennys POV:

i got closer and closer towards her as she just stood there. "Hey, my name is kenny. What about yours?" That was so stupid of me..i said under my breath. "Huh? What did you say?" She said. "Oh! Nothing, dont worry."i said. "Okay! Uhm, well, my name is marly. Well, im a huge fan of you three and the rest, by the way!" said Marly.

It was even better that she was a fan.The rest of the beta squad introduced themselves to her,im so glad that she at least knows me."Ay Kennys got a gyal," i heard aj say. I gave him an annoyed look. "She's not my "gyal, " i said. There was awkward silence for a few seconds,i could feel the tension between us. "So, uhm, could i get ur number or something?" I asked her. "Yeah, sure, of course!" I gave her a smile, and we exchanged numbers. "I'll call you later today?" I said. I honestly was so happy on the inside that she actually gave me her number. Most girls dont. "Sure! I'll see you around, " I heard her say. "This is great content," said niko. "Bro, cut it out," i told him.

Time skip

Marlys POV:

I just came back from taylors house, i told her everything that happened on the way there. I was honestly shocked that Kenny wanted my number! I flopped onto my bed and put on my headphones.Maybe i was wrong.. What if he doesn't actually like me?What if he's just joking? I thought to myself. I sighed and picked up my phone. Just then, i got a message from kenny.

Kenny:Hey, Marly! Do you maybe wanna hang out tomorrow if you're free?

Marly: sure!❤️

Kenny:Great! I'll pick you up tomorrow at 5pm? We can go watch a movie together if you'd like?

Marly: Okay, sounds amazing!

Kenny: i have to go, but I'll talk to you later, marly! :)

Marly: alright no worrys!

I squeeled in excitement. i couldn't believe what just happened. i was so excited! I called up taylor to tell her what happened. "Omg girl, you won't believe who i was texting!" I said. "OMG! who??" I hear taylor say. "Kenny!! He asked if he wanted to hang out, and i obviously said yes!" I said in an over excited voice. "EEKK, im so happy for you!"i heard her say. "Thank you!!! I'll keep you updated!" I said before hanging up the phone.

Time skip:

Kennys POV:

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing." Why the fuck is someone calling me at 11am."i said to myself. I groaned and sat up and picked up my phone,it was niko. "Bro you better have a good fucking reason for waking me up."i said. "Jeez.. someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed... It's not my fault you wake up at 11 a.m. Anyways, our latest video went viral because of you and marly. Everyone says that you guys should be together. "So? Who cares? It's not like we are together." I said. "Yeah, i know, but it's kinda obvious that you like her..." said niko. "Yeah, okay, maybe i do like her, but it has nothing to do with you, does it?" I said slightly, embarrassed.

"Yeah okay chill its just a question. There's no need to get so worked up about it.." niko said. "Yeah, sorry..im not in a good mood." I told him. "It's all good,I'll call you back later," niko said. "Alright." I told him. I put my phone back on my desk and tried going back to sleep, but i just couldn't. "Maybe i should tell Marly how i feel.." i said to myself . Part of me wanted to tell her, but part of me didn't. i wasn't sure if she liked me back. I sighed and got out of bed.

Marlys POV:

I woke up to the sunlight shining threw my window, i lifted my head from my pillow and rubbed my eyes. I slowly got up from my bed and made my way to the kitchen. I made breakfast.

I was still over the moon that kenny wanted to hang out. I wasn't sure what to wear. i never really went out on many dates, but i had a few ideas in mind.

Time skip-

it was almost 5, i was kinda panicking since I wasn't sure where kenny was. Lucky i already picked out an outfit..

Just before i could say another word, i heard a loud knock on the door. A huge smile emerged on my face as i went to unlock the front door.

There stood kenny, i was so excited to see him. "Hey Kenny! You look great." I said. "Same goes for you Marly you look gorgeous." He said. His words were enough to make me blush. He handed me a bouquet of red roses.

"There, beautiful! Thank you so much, " i said. "Glad you like them. Shall we?" Said kenny. I nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.He opened the front door of his car as i got in. I gave him a smile as he started the car. I looked out the window and enjoyed the view.

Most of the car ride was slient,but it wasn't awkward at all...it was surprisingly comforting. I didn't want anything more than to be in Kennys presence. I liked him, but i didn't know how to tell him. I felt stupid for liking someone like him...afterall, he was basically a celebrity, and i was just an ordinary girl. I turned my head to face him,his beautiful brown eyes shining in the sun. "We're here, marly," he said, smiling. He got out of his car and offered me a hand. I smiled back and held onto his hand.

Time skip

The movie was finished, and we made our way back to the car. "If you like, i could take you home?" He said, not making eye contact. "That would be great," i told him. Before i knew it, we were already half way threw the journey back home. I hadn't had this much fun with someone in a long time..and i was happy that i got to spend it with Kenny.

We were almost home, i wasn't sure if i should tell kenny how i felt yet. Right then, i heard the car stop. "We're here," said kenny. "Thank you again, im looking forward to hanging out with you again, Kenny!" I said. Just before i could open the car door. I felt kennys hand on mine. "I had a lot of fun with you as well

.." he said. There was a few seconds of complete silence before he pulled me into a kiss. His hand carresed my cheek as he pulled me in closer into his grip. I was shocked,my eyes widened as he pulled away. "Im so sorry, i dont know what got into me i shouldn't have done that. im sorry." Said kenny. "nono, it's not that...its just i didn't expect it, that's all.." i told him. "Right..ill be on my way, then I'll talk to you later once again. im sorry." Kenny said.

I exited the car as i watched him drive off. I felt like a complete fool. The guy i had a crush on just kissed me, and i didn't kiss back. I felt guitly, but i wasn't sure how to react. I unlocked the front door and went inside. I sighed and sat down on the sofa and picked up the bouquet of roses. I didn't feel like doing anything and headed straight to bed.

Time skip

I woke up later than usual, i rubbed my eyes and lifted my head up from my pillow. I got dressed and headed downstairs to make breakfast. I was still in shock from yesterday, but i had to move on. I picked up my phone to see several messages from Kenny.

Kenny:

Hello Marly? 9:50 pm

Are you awake? 9:50 pm

I need to talk to you. 10:00 pm

Text me when you're awake.10:20 pm

Marly:

Sorry, i was sleeping! 10:48pm

Kenny:

It's all good, i was wondering if you could come over to my place? I was hoping we could talk. 10:50 pm

Marly:

Sure, what time? 10:52pm

Kenny:

I was thinking maybe you could come over in 30 minutes?10:52 pm

Marly:

Sure, see you soon!10:52 pm

I was a bit nervous since i wasn't sure why he wanted to talk to me so badly..i didnt question it too much and got ready.

Time skip:

I arrived outside his house as i knocked on the front door. I was anxiously waiting for him to unlock the door. "Hey, marly, come in!" He told me. "So i needed to tell you something that has been on my mind for a while." Kenny said. "Sure, go ahead. You can tell me anything." I told him.

"Well, ever since i met you, I knew there was something about you that was different..in a good way, of course. I wanted to tell you this for such a long time, but i wasn't sure if you liked me back. After yesterday, i was sure how you felt about me, but i figured I'd tell you anyway." Said kenny. I was waiting forever for those words. I was too stunned to speak. "Say something, please," he said. "I never thought you felt the same way i did! Im sorry for yesterday as well.

i didn't know how to react!" I said. "So i can kiss you again..for real this time?" He said with a smirk on his face. I nodded and blushed at the same time. He pulled me in closer, putting his cold hands on my waist as he carresed my cheek, his soft lips pressed onto mine, pulling our bodies closer together.

I put my hands around his neck and pulled away for a second for a gasp of air. Our lips once again pressed against each other, this time more passionate and longer. We both pulled away,"So does this make me your boyfriend?" He said. "Of course idiot" i said playfully as i let out a chuckle. "It's getting late, i think I'll head home now, but we can finish this later," i said as i winked at him. "Okay, darling, whatever you say,"he said. His words were enough to make my heart flutter. I was so excited to tell Taylor the good news, i know she'll be just as happy as i am.

Taylors POV:

I was just about to head out when i received a text from marly

Marly:

Me and kenny are dating now! There's so much you need to catch up on!12:55pm

I was fuming in rage. I've liked marly for longer than i can remember, and just before i could tell her, she suddenly gets a boyfriend.

Taylor:

Wow, that's great! 12:57pm

I want marly to be happy, of course, but with me. I just dont get what she sees in him. For the longest time, i had to pretend that i was happy that she met Kenny when all i wanted was to be with her. I'll make sure that I'll we'll be together no matter what it takes....

Ahh! FINALLYY CHAPTER 1 IS DONE!! I hope you like it, marly!

Chapter 2 coming soon!

@vctrvn-ls @shuuuuush @b4tasquad @allygatcr

[be-themessenger]

1, 2, 27, 38?

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

um good start. this one is tough !!

first thing id say the different approach that my mother and father used w me growing up. mother was cold, harsh and most times violent, dad was kind, funny and playful always. this made me one who sees love, tries to be grateful for it, and then is followed by a harrowing voice telling them they do not deserve it, just like when as a child, one is asked to leave the toy on the shelf where they took it. but it also taught me to be patient and mild even when you're feeling emotions that range from uh-oh-disappointed to world-destructive rage i guess.

then i have to mention the latest 5 years of growing awareness on social media, where people finally got to louder w their disgust at absolutely unfunny jabs and jokes and situations involving minorities. i tried to learn what can i do to become a better person in general. i also learned more on traits that are characteristic of depression and were problematic within my past friendships. it made me realise i was/am just ill and seeking to protect myself from normal things that were unfamiliar and risky as they wouldve brought conflict between me and mother.

third thing is a huge fear of loss. i am scared of losing everything. my phone, my bag, my cards, friends, home, my dearest memories, artistic touch, people's approval and support. i have lost most of this and i will continue to lose as i do not know how to hold my hands tight.

i'm sorry rana, this one question went towards a very miserable direction as I cannot think of anything positive abt me at the moment :// i guess i still need time 🖤

2. show us a picture of your handwriting

lyrics from omd's 2nd thought + a bit of johnny's hand w his jag !

27. any nicknames?

lots of them. i dont really have a name i want to go by yet but my dearest @heartbeatkitty finds a different cute nick for me everytime we talk 🤍

38. fave song at the moment?

this song is basically telling me i must Eject myself out of this body as soon as i can 'because it dont suit me' and as it ends im like 'yeah noel i wish man i just dont have the time to u know'

thank u so much for asking ! 🤍

[linuxmints-archive]

warning post regarding tumblr users vasoconstriction and 2ruru

TW: non-con mention, lolicon mention, ncov mention.

i currently mod over on a discord server that user marko (vasoconstriction) was briefly apart of, and liam (2ruru) who joined but was subsequently banned the same day, along with marko.

this is not specifically a callout post, moreso a warning post because marko is incredibly hypocritical and the people hes friends with are worrying.

preface

marko had said he was allowed to joke about a minor because he was almost their age (15 vs 18), stated he was excited about ncov and the subsequent crashing of the stock market (this is more towards a post he reblogged post-banning) and says he hates lolicon but follows a friend who posts borderline lolicon; (UPDATE 4/8 — posted an image from a lolicon visual novel) and has posted naked, presumed underage, anime girls.

minor joking

i will admit when i found a screenshot of the "hamilton miku binder" user i posted it to make fun of, until i realized that op was a minor. as an adult i do not feel right making fun of minors so i deleted the message and said i did not want to continue joking. another user, 18, said they were also not comfortable joking about a minor so the conversation was ended. marko then came on maybe 2 or so hours later.

screenshots from 03/09/2020

stating at 18 years old hes allowed to make fun of a 15 year old. while this isnt the worst of the interactions, it shows markos character; where hes looking to actively make fun of a minors mistakes.

komaeda mouse pad

screenshots from 3/10/2020

for further context: nagito komaeda is cited to be in his early twenties for only a minor portion of the game, danganronpa 2: goodbye despair. his neo world avatar, which is the ingame simulation that takes up almost the entirety of dr2, is at best 16 or 17 years old, and that is who we see a majority of the time.

additionally, another mod took the liberty of looking up the mousepad in question, and it does in fact depict his teen self.

ncov

our server has a sensitive topics channel which users can opt into. these were posted in said channel. at the time i kept it muted so these are not my screenshots, but another users.

while everyone is anxious about ncov and openly post their anxities and fears, marko enters the chat and states this 

screenshot from 03/12/2020

marko states hes feeding off this chaos. while this is alarming, i wasnt entirely surprised considering his political leaning.

but its funny when you realize marko reblogged this just recently

screenshot from 04/01/2020

marko made it seemed like he was excited for people to die in his messages but this one shows another side.

friends + 2ruru

marko has two friends. tumblr user liam 2ruru and another named rami.

on 03/12/2020 marko asked if he could invite his friends. the admin, K (who asked to be censored in the screenshots) agreed and two people were added to the server.

rami was immediately banned due to their killing stalking icon. pretty much everyone was upset over the fact this person was basically promoting a story where rape, abuse and homophobia are glorified. stating this because K asked marko first about the icon and he replied he knew nothing about it, which is odd considering these are his friends. you tend to know whats going on with your friends, especially if they happen to be apart of a disgusting series like killing stalking.

we were very much on edge at this point, and in our moderator exclusive channels, decided to view liams blog 2ruru, which he publically posted in the introduction

screenshot is relevant to only connect names and accounts

we found some posts which made us very uncomfortable in our moderation channels. our admin sent a message to liam.

screenshot from 03/12/20

nekopara is a nsfw visual novel involving catgirls who are "1 year (or younger) in "cat years""

here is rule 4 of our server

blog content + 2ruru

as of 04/03/2020 marko has reblogged an image of two naked anime girls on a teeshirt as "aesthetic" while odd, its the fact that these girls do not look like adults and its interesting because marko states in his BYF

screenshot from 04/08/2020

no pedo/map, which SHOULD also cover lolicon. along with the fetishize gay love and gay sex, while markos "friend" rami had a killing stalking icon, which is promotes rape and abuse between two men.

what prompted me to finish this post is the fact that of 04/08/20, liam had reblogged a screenshot from a visual novel. while that isnt very weird in animecore, its the fact the main girl on the screen does not look of age and also does not look fully clothed.

while you cannot know the source of everything ever, it took me 30 seconds to reverse image search and find the source material. which is a visual novel called "sleeping sister" and whole story is about a brother who touches his adoptive sister while she sleeps. if it took me 30 seconds to find the source, itll take you 30 seconds to make sure youre not reblogging awful content.

as no pedos/maps should cover lolicon, it's interesting markos friend liam posts such stuff and marko continues to follow him.

as stated this is a hesitant callout post because while none of these are extreme acts, its very unnerving to see how hypocritical these two are.

UPDATE 05/03/2020:

liam 2ruru is still posting lolicon. in fact, he changed his theme on desktop, making his sidebar image a picture which was previously brought up in the discussion to ban him.

The full image, which he previously reblogged, is linked below. Viewer discretion advised.

(link) (archived link)

apologies for the messy edit

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[saintobio]

Saint, as someone who has been reading and following your work avidly since UFC back in January, i’m so happy you’re receiving the attention you rightfully deserve, your writing is and will always be one of the very few things on this hellsite that enjoy and Sincerely Not was honest to go such respectfully a beautiful, tragic mess to read from the moment you uploaded the first chapter it already had us on the edge of our seats for the next upload. You once again managed to write such an amazing story despite some negativity that you received in the beginning about the MC being “weak”. I also stopped making memes after a while because honestly i couldn’t make light of the situation anymore to make a joke about what they were going through, however you beat believe that once season 2 starts i’ll be back on my bullshit as always.

I cant lie and say that I didn’t hate Satoru in the beginning and wanted better for the MC but as the chapters went on, your once again proved most of us wrong on Satoru being cold hearted and as someone who refuses the change their ways by providing such well written character development on his behalf. As much as I was rooting for the MC and Toji to finally be together bc yunno toji <3 I can’t help but to feel so much remorse for Satoru at the end, every wrong doing he caused was inexcusable and the MC had every right to do what she did because she has shown from the start that she put Satoru almost always first when they were married and i’m genuinely happy that she put herself first for the first time in almost a year.

The final chapter of Sincerely Not: s1 specifically the MC and Satoru’s conversation before the wedding has been something that I didn’t know that i needed, I really do feel that MC deserved the closure she now rightfully deserves but not executed the way Satoru did, sure he got his feelings very much involved but even then it was so indulging the more I read; the dialogue between them and interactions in that scene was so compelling to read that I couldn’t stop but to feel my own heart break as Satoru voiced his wrongs, admiring that he was always in the wrong and expressing how much he truly did and does care for the MC in the end after everything they have gone through.

I absolutely cannot wait until season 2 and what you have in store for it because let’s be honest, all your works have been a god sent with your talented writing and I really hope you take some time between now and when you upload it because you deserve to take a break!

I hope you’re well, drinking enough water and getting the proper amount of sleep and i’ll be here for season 2 ready to either cry my eyes out and rant about it in my groupchat or make memes about it at degenerate hours!

yuliiii i’m sorry it took me ages to reply. and yeah, you’ve been here w me since ufc era n you still stayed w me until now. that’s so amazing ?? i can’t thank u enough for the support you’re giving my fics 🥺 and don’t worry abt not making memes. i enjoy hearing ur thoughts as well too. ilysm and i hope you’ve been well

@rinstars said

SOBBING PUKING CRYING SCREAMING DYING JUNPING ROLLING YELLING SULKING PEEING CRYIBG SJDKHWOWBSOE SAINT I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL ENDING TO S1 I WAS HEARTBROKEN BUT NOW IM SO READY TO FACE S2 AND IT WAS SUCH A SATISFYING END IN SUCH A HEARTBREAKING WAY BUT THOSE LITTLE GLIMMER OF HOPE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE LINES MAKE IT ALL BETTER ILY IM SO PROUD OF HOW U FINISHED SUCH AN AMAZING LONG SERIES I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OFF CAPSLOCK A WHILE AGO BUT IM TYPING THIS LITERALLY WITHOUT BREAKBRJEJWODHIR I WOKE UP AND CRIED BEFORE GOING YO CLASS YOU. WILL. PAY. 😭😭 WOWWWW GOJO NEXT SEASON WE GOT U BAE WE GOT UUUUU WHEN SHE SAID JUST FORGET ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE OH WOW THE FORUPWHSLWHROEJOW CANT EVEN TYPE ANYMORE LORDDDD

risa HELPJBD you’re always screaming under the replies and i love that !! thank u for finding the time to read sn even though you’re busy w life and w writing ur suna series <33 🥺 sending u all my love !!

@sunasbabie said

ily and ur blog more :’)

hi ily and ur writing <33

@shintin said

your story was a masterpiece. i don't remember liking a story like yours 😍 i don't hace a question about story, i'll just wait untill sincierly yours first chapter 😍😍 when do you plan to publish it?

and i also i want to ask you a favor, i have written a story about Gojo x Reader, too. I will be happy and ery honored if you read my story and tell me your opinion 😍😍😍

you're one of my favorite authors in social media 😍😍😍

thanks ❤

it’ll be published tomorrow 4pm pst. thank u for the support !! i’m glad you liked it. and sure, i’ll check it out once i have free time from work :’) <33 i’m sure it’s beautifully written !!

@imnotjo said

While I was getting a massage, i suddenly thought what if y/n and gojo submitted their life story entry to MMK (maalaala mo kay) PLS HUHUHU CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD & THE THEME SONG PLAYING GURL— DBDHVDJD im dEaaAD

jo, you switched to 3 urls for the three weeks i’ve been on hiatus bsjdjs anyways aaaah yea bc their love story is so dramatic (tho i’m not all too familiar with the mmk context 😹)

@ch1yhoe said

saint shskshaksh idk what to say really, the ending left me speechless, i can't i'm so heartbroken that i'm singing beer by the itchyworms with my gojo figure, telling him that "iinom nalang natin yan" cos- 😭 im laughing at myself hahdwjwudhw but legit, i even sent it to @joranhaitani—like we always read it at the same time and trust me we're both bawling our eyes out 😭 GSJSGASJSHSHAHAHAHSHS

anyway, you've done a great job with SN! it's truly a masterpiece, i'm grateful to u and i'm very happy that i've found your blog. thank u for your hard work, saint. <33 you're truly a blessingggg. i hope you get enough rest after this because we can wait for sn2 hehehshak u deserve to rest, that's all ily saint!! 🤍🤍

aly !! you changed urls too :0 thank u for ur support. you and jo make me laugh so much when i see u guys on the dash bsjsjd i’m grateful for u as well !! keep up the good work on ur sanzu (?) series hehe <33

@sushiwuu said

Thanks for writing a great chapter as always!!! It hurts so bad, I LOVE IT! I think I became numb in reading too much of your angsty fics. Will, you believe me if I said that waiting for your updates is what keeps me going every week:)), college and personal problems are constantly draining me but reading your fics are like a little reward for me for getting through the week. Can't wait for sn2!!!(I'm already having so many scenarios/theories in my mind, I can already feel the pain in sn2) I'm scared:,). Take your time in getting that well-deserved rest! Love youuuu!🥰

honestly writing sn was also a reward for myself after a stressful day at work, it’s just that it eventually drained me out so i wanted to escape writing for a while 💀 but i’m back now, hopefully i can write sy the same way i pictured it in my head. thank u for support my love <33 i wish u a very happy stress-free life

[thoodleoo]

no offense but as a kid who was bullied, teachers who had seating charts/assigned seats made me want to die because it never ended well for me

a seating chart, like any other classroom managment tool, can be used either well or poorly

im not usually a seating chart kind of teacher, BUT 1. we need to have seating charts this year for contact tracing if a student tests positive for covid

and 2. sometimes you absolutely cannot let certain students sit together, for their own benefit and the benefit of the class

in this case, the students involved were warned that if they didn't shape up, they'd get new seats. the warning didn't work, so as a teacher i need to follow through or else i risk letting the class go wild. all i did was adjust things such that the offending students are separated. everyone else should still be happy with their seats.

im sorry that your teachers failed you. seating charts should never put students in an uncomfortable position. however, that doesn't mean that seating charts are inherently bad, and i'd thank you not to assume that i don't understand my class dynamics enough to use them properly.

[paterson-blue]

Honey, You're Familiar (Like My Mirror Years Ago); Part 3

Part 3: The Date

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5

Summary: Things don't go exactly to plan. Clyde stresses.

Word Count: 4,010

Warnings: fluff, spice, grumpy Clyde Logan, pouty boy (but he's still in love), sentimentalism, sickly sweet pet names, smoochin', grindin', oral sex (male receiving), cum on body (not in!), original female character–let me know if I need to add anything else!

A/N: Thanks again to @paper-n-ashes for being my beta reader & quelling all my writing jitters. You're the absolute best!

Prefer AO3? I gotcha!

It’s a fuckin’ disaster.

Starts out nice. Juniper shows up on his doorstep wearin’ a slinky little black dress, one that shows off her curves and makes Clyde’s mouth go dry. She tells him he looks handsome and he feels giddy. He sweeps his newly styled hair out of his face, sayin’ she looks absolutely stunnin’. Juniper beams, grabs his hand, tells him they better get a move on ‘fore they’re late.

They’re late. They’re later than late.

They aren’ five minutes outta town when lightenin’ starts to streak across the sky. Clyde shifts uneasily, eyes cast upward towards the swirling heavens. It’s rainin’ cats and dogs in no time and Juniper has to slow to half the speed limit to drive safely. Clyde’s thoughts go to the river up ahead, the one the road crew was still tryna’ re-stabilize since the last storm flooded it.

Fifteen minutes from their destination and they have t’pull to a stop on the highway, suddenly blocked in a jam. Flashin’ red and blue lights indicate an accident up front, and while Clyde spares a thought to whoever was involved, he can’t help but check the time. They aren’ gonna make their reservation, he just knows it.

The car behind ‘em lays on its horn, the sound makin’ both Clyde & Juniper jump. The driver either doesn’ seem to understand the concept of bein’ stuck or plain just don’ care. Clyde clenches his jaw, glowerin’ into the rear view mirror—he can only see the driver’s silhouette behind the bright glow of the headlights. He’s keepin’ his cool until the driver reaches his arm out, in the pourin’ rain an’ all, just t’give Juniper the finger.

Clyde’s unbucklin’ his belt quick as can be, chest heavin’ as he reaches for the door handle. He’s ‘bout ready to stomp to the car and yank the man out.Teach ‘im a lesson on manners, teach ‘im t’treat a lady like—

“Clyde.” Juniper stops him in his tracks with just his name on her lips. He looks over at her from under his hair, expression tense. She reaches up to caress his cheek, holdin’ his face in her little palm so sweetly, thumb brushin’ over the sharp line of his jaw. “Leave him be. It’s not worth gettin’ into trouble.”

Clyde deflates, honey brown eyes downcast. He sounds miserable when he speaks. “… We’re gonna miss dinner.”

“I know, sugar. It’s okay.”

His heart flutters in his broad chest despite his distress. She’d called him ‘sugar.’ He likes that; wants to hear it again real soon.

By the time they get through all the traffic and make it to the restaurant, their reservation is indeed gone, table havin’ been given away. They stand together just outside the building, under the little awning in an attempt to stay out of the rain.

Clyde huffs, so morose that he’s unable to enjoy the way she was pressed up against his side. “M’sorry.”

Juniper frowns, reachin’ up to pat his stomach gently. “You stop that. You haven’t done anything to be sorry for.”

Clyde shakes his head sadly, heavin’ out a sigh. “It’s the Logan Family Curse.”

She looks up at him, brows arched, her hand still settled on his belly. “Oh is it now?”

He nods, brows pinched together. Juniper reaches for his hand, pulling it to her lips and pressin’ a kiss to his knuckles. “You aren’t cursed, Clyde Logan. And if you are, I’m perfectly happy to be cursed right along with you.”

Clyde doesn’ quite know how to respond to that, but luckily, he doesn’t have to right away. Juniper moves her lips to the pads of his large fingers, kissin’ ‘em gently before lettin’ him pull his hand away. Clyde cradles her pretty face in his palm, takin’ the time to admire her. Finally, he speaks. “Thank you, darlin’. That’s mighty nice of you t’say.”

Juniper nuzzles into his touch, sighin’ happily; it makes Clyde feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“I’m only saying what’s true. Now c’mon. I know it’s a Friday night but there’s bound to be somewhere we can eat.”

They end up findin’ an old fashioned drive-in burger place, somewhere they can park and eat in the car out of the rain. It’s not where Clyde wants to take her; she deserves to be wined and dined all proper, not greasy burgers and milkshakes. But Juniper doesn’ seem to mind; as soon as they’re parked she’s squintin’ up at the menu, a big smile on her face.

“This all sounds so fucking good.” She giggles, lookin’ over at him. It makes the disappointment in Clyde’s chest fade away, and he leans over the center console to peer out the window to see what choices they were offered. It puts him in her space, and Juniper leans in to press a gentle kiss to his temple. He blushes, his cheeks only getttin’ hotter when she brushes some of his hair out of his face. He desperately wants to kiss her but he doesn’ know if it’s the right time.

He’s finally acceptin’ the night’s change of plans—finally acceptin’ that this might be good, burgers and fries while dressed up nice, watchin’ the rain pour from the safety of Juniper’s little Corolla—when the carhop comes out to tend to them. Clyde’s already diggin’ into his wallet as Juniper rattles off their order; he holds his debit card out, arm reachin’ over Juniper’s lap.

The carhop doesn’ move for the card. Instead, they say “Card machine’s down. Cash only.” in what Clyde thinks is possibly the most bored tone they could muster. He tries not to bristle as he fumbles with his wallet for a second time, patience already worn thin from the night’s events. He’s only got a fifty in his billfold. The fifty.

Their fifty.

He hesitates, even though he knows it’s irrational; Jimmy always did tell him he was too damn sentimental for his own good. Juniper must realize—she always does, Clyde never seems to have to explain himself to her—because she grabs her purse from the floorboard. Clyde stops her, shakin’ his head as he tugs the fifty dollar bill out. “S’alright, darlin’. Y’told me t’save it for a rainy day.”

Juniper’s face softens at his words, and Clyde hands the money over to the carhop, who looks like they want to be literally anywhere else. Soon Clyde’s been given his change, and he quickly puts it back up. As soon as he’s done Juniper’s reachin’ for him, pullin’ him in by his collar. Clyde goes willingly, twistin’ in his seat to move his prosthetic to the middle of her back, arm wrapped around her.

“I’ll give you another one.” She tells him firmly, and Clyde huffs out a laugh.

“Well that’d be awful silly of ya, Junebug. You’ll run outta money real quick if y’keep givin’ it all t’me.” He tries to soothe her with a joke, wantin’ to let her know that it was alright. Sure, it had been special to him—reminded him of their meetin’—but it was just a piece a’ paper. What was a piece a’ paper when he had the most important thing right here in front a’ him?

He wants to curl up further into her, but their positions don’t allow for it—the vehicle doesn’ exactly allow for him to move his long limbs much a’ anywhere. If this was as close as he could get, he was satisfied. Juniper shifts suddenly, eyes trained on him as she leans closer. They share a breath, then two, and then she’s pressin’ her mouth against his.

It’s nothin’ if not chaste. Clyde gets the feelin’ she doesn’ exactly want to neck in the front seat of her car like teenagers—at least not in plain view of the drive-in’s staff and other patrons. Just a gentle kiss, a little more than a peck; firm and lingerin’ just enough that he knows it happened. Juniper follows it up with another one at the corner of mouth, their noses pressin’ against one another’s cheeks.

It’s more than enough for Clyde; more than enough to get his pulse to sky rocket. He can’t remember the last time he’s been treated so gently, so much love in such a small movement. She gives him a smile when she pulls away, and they both sit back in their seats, starin’ all heart-eyed at one another. She takes the metal of his hand in hers, holdin’ it, and Clyde thinks maybe he should reconsider the whole curse thing.

They head back home after finishin’ their meal, the storm slowly peterin’ off as they get closer to Clyde’s trailer. Juniper walks him to his door, gigglin’ when she offers him her arm to escort him. He takes it, grinnin’ like a fool as they stomp up the front steps. They stand there under the yellow porch light, humid heat surroundin’ ‘em. Clyde usually hated the humidity, but not when it was like this, creatin’ such a hazy, intimate bubble around ‘em. Juniper drops her arm, but only to reach for Clyde’s flesh hand, holdin’ it in both of hers.

“I had a really nice time tonight, Clyde. Best date I’ve ever been on—and I mean that.”

Clyde can feel himself blushin’, a pleased smile turnin’ his lips up. “I had a good time, too. Wouldja—wouldja wanna do it again? Sometime soon?”

“Yes.” She answers almost before he can finish askin’, and they both laugh. There’s a beat, a pause, a breath, and then Juniper is leanin’ up the same moment Clyde’s leanin’ down. It’s a relief when their lips touch, like the first drink a’ water in the mornin’. Clyde thinks he’s been parched his whole life and never even knew it.

Juniper’s the one who deepens it, the one who drops his hand to lean into him, to thread her fingers through his thick hair, holdin’ him close. And fuck, Clyde isn’ gonna fight it. He wraps his arm around her, prosthetic against her back as his hand moves to hold her face. His palm envelops her cheek, thumb under her chin to keep her head lifted. They kiss and kiss, and when she makes a little whine in the back of her throat Clyde swears he’s floatin’.

When she pulls away to breathe he makes a sound of his own, a disappointed little groan that she huffs out a laugh at. He’d be embarrassed if she wasn’ nuzzlin’ her nose against his cheek like she can’t get enough.

“Those lips a’ yours aren’t fair.” She murmurs, and Clyde hums, strokin’ his thumb along her jawline. He doesn’ want this to end, he thinks for possibly the thousandth time that night. He doesn’ wanna let her get back in her car an’ drive across town, over the train tracks, past the antique shop, until she gets to the bed & breakfast.

He wants her right here, and he’s never been the one in this position, but he doesn’ hesitate when he asks her, “D’y’wanna come in?”

She nods, and it sets his chest aflame. They straighten up, untanglin’ themselves from one another even as she leans into his side, not wantin’ t’be too far. Clyde’s hands shake as he unlocks the front door but he doesn’ care if she sees. He wants her to see, wants her to know what she’s doin’ t’him. Maybe then...maybe she won’t leave.

Clyde flicks on the lights, closin’ the door behind both of ‘em. He watches as Juniper assesses his things: his clumsily cleaned living area, the small kitchenette that was (thankfully) decluttered. The hallway leads back to the bathroom, and then his bedroom, but Clyde doesn’ dare look towards it, much less lead her that way. Instead, he steps towards the fridge, hand reachin’ out to brush against the door.

“Want anythin’ t’drink?” He asks, voice quiet, as if nervous to disturb the silence. Juniper shoots him a smile, shakin’ her head as she perches on the couch.

“No, I’m okay, thank you.”

Clyde nods, lingerin’ there even though he doesn’ want a drink neither. Her eyes look him over, amusement showin’ in them.

“Why don’t you c’mere? If you want, of course.”

He wants. Oh, how he wants. So he goes, movin’ across the distance between them in three long strides until he can sit himself next to her. He’s stock straight, heart thrummin’ in his chest; his nice button-down feels all tight against his skin, too itchy. He thinks only her touch’ll soothe it, but doesn’ wanna ask her. Juniper, however, reads his mind; she always can. She smoothes a hand over his jean-clad thigh, leanin’ in ever so slowly, like she’s gonna startle him if she moves too fast. Clyde’s breath catches in his throat as she kisses him again, and it's heaven, it's heaven.

It’s different from in the car, from on the porch. This time there’s more purpose to it. Juniper’s kissin’ him—tastin’ him— like he belongs to her, and Clyde thinks maybe it's because she knows he does. He’s tryna’ angle his body just right, tryin’ t’lean down without puttin’ a crick in his neck. Not that he’d care much, if he did--a crick was worth this, worth the feelin’ of her tongue brushin’ against his bottom lip, against his teeth.

Juniper makes a frustrated little noise, pullin’ back, and Clyde’s brows furrow in confusion.

“Wha--Wha’s--?” He stammers out, flesh hand flexin’ on her waist, the silky fabric of her dress feelin’ so soft and cool against his skin. Juniper’s lips are plush and kiss bitten; Clyde tries to take a picture of ‘em in his memory, eyes trained on their pretty color. He almost misses her question. Scratch that, he does miss her question; has to very ineloquently say “huh?” to get her to repeat it. She ducks her head, voice shy.

“Can I, uh--get in your lap?”

Shit. Shit. Clyde nearly feels dizzy for all the blood rushin’ down south. It makes him a little self-conscious; she’s not gonna want t’sit on his lap and have his cock pressin’ into her all demandin’ like. But damn, his little Junebug looks so eager, her eyes darker than he’s ever seen ‘em, and like he’d said: he wants. So he just nods, barely breathin’.

Juniper shifts, pushin’ him into the back of the couch and he goes easily, willingly. She hikes her dress up her legs and Clyde gets a barely there peek of dark green lace before she’s straddlin’ his lap. He moans, can’t fuckin’ help it, and Juniper dives in to capture the sound with her mouth. Her hands are on his face, in his hair, fingers rubbin’ the shells of his ears—he’s surrounded, he’s drownin’, suffocatin’. He’s never felt so alive.

His own hands are placed chastely on either one of her hips, though he knows his flesh hand must be grippin’ her somethin’ fierce. The thought flashes in his mind, of him leavin’ little fingerprint shaped bruises on her skin for her to feel the next day. It makes him shiver underneath her.

Juniper takes and takes, and Clyde lets her. Clyde wants to be taken, in whatever way she’ll have him. Suddenly she’s pullin’ away just enough to suck in a little air, lips still brushin’ against his. He presses his long nose into the soft skin of her cheek, breath hot between them. When Juniper speaks, her voice is strained.

“Touch me, Clyde. Please.”

He doesn’ hesitate. His good hand moves from her hip to her ass, grabbin’, kneadin’ as he pulls her tighter against him. She lets out the prettiest noise Clyde thinks he’s ever heard, and his lips find her neck as his other arm comes around to hold her close. God, she tastes so good; her perfume fills his head until he feels dizzy with it.

She's pressed flush to him like this, grindin’ her hips against his. Clyde’s hard and leakin’ in his brand new jeans and the only thing he can think of is hearin’ her little noises again. Her hands are back in his hair, pullin’ at it, sweepin’ it away from his face so he doesn’ get tangled in it as his mouth makes a hot path down the neckline of her dress.

It feels so damn good that Clyde doesn’ realize she’s tryin’ to get his attention until she yanks on his tresses, his scalp burnin’ from it. Honestly he thinks he groans, rough and wild in his throat, the pain shootin’ straight to his cock. But it makes him look at her, and she holds him from divin’ back into her skin.

“Clyde I wanna—I wanna taste you. Is that okay? Can I?”

Lord Almighty above. That should be his line, it really should. But how can he argue with her? He’d give her anythin’ she wanted, anythin’. And she wanted—wanted to put her mouth on him. Clyde spares a thought for all the trimmed and proper men he’s seen in porn, how much nicer they looked, how Juniper deserved the best. West coast mean surely didn’ look the way he did. But then,“Yes,” he’s sayin’, voice ragged, “yes.”

And she’s slippin’ out of his lap onto the floor between his legs. Clyde’s heart pinches, and he leans forward to pick her right back up. To say “oh, darlin’, y’don’ need to be on the hard floor like that. Lemme stand an’ you c’n sit right back on these here pillows.” But before he can get his legs under him she's pressin’ her face between ‘em, nuzzlin’ into the scratchy fabric of his jeans, right up against his cock. Clyde’s brain short circuits.

“Been wantin’ this.” Juniper murmurs, small hands workin’ at his belt, and Clyde arches his hips up, tryin’ t’help her get his jeans off. He can’t believe this—can’t believe this is happenin’. She tugs his jeans and pants down his legs, just enough that his cock is revealed. Clyde clumsily unbuttons the first couple buttons at the bottom of his shirt, not wantin’ to get the new fabric messy. Juniper seems to like his idea; she sighs and leans forward to press her lips to the bare skin of his stomach.

“Sweetheart.” Clyde whispers, voice all trembly. He stretches out a little, givin’ her more access to his pale abdomen. Her lips are so soft against his skin, against the dark trail of hair leadin’ down, down, down. She follows it, nosin’ to the crook of his thigh, teeth scrapin’ deliciously ‘fore she turns her attention to his cock—already plump and stiff, and very interested in her ministrations. She wraps a hand around it and Clyde’s breath catches in his throat. She studies his cock, gives it a gentle stroke, thumb rubbin’ at the velvety head.

“You’re so big.” Her voice is quiet, but it startles Clyde all the same—he’s been transfixed by the vision in front of him.

“O-Oh, I-m, uh—“

He’s attemptin’ to apologize—his first instinct, really. But his brain isn’t really functionin’ all that well, and then she’s leanin’ in to lave her tongue over his slit. Clyde groans, a sound comin’ deep from his chest as he zeros in on the pretty pink of her soft, wet tongue. Juniper hums as if she’s pleased, a little smile on her face, and then she’s slippin’ her mouth over his cock in earnest.

Clyde’s head drops back against the couch pillow, lungs strugglin’ to suck in air. Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck—it felt so good. She was gorgeous, she was perfect, she was a fucking angel doin’ this for him. She couldn’ take all of him into her mouth but goddamn she was tryin’. It didn’ matter—even if she wasn’ usin’ her hand to make up the difference, Clyde thinks he could cum just from seein’ her there between his legs, her silky soft lips on his skin.

He moves with her—not in a way where he’s pushin’ her or askin’ for more, but in a way where she’s pullin’ him; she’s the ebb and flow of the tide and he follows her willingly. His back arches, toes curlin’ up in his boots; his prosthetic settles on top of her free hand where it was grippin’ one of his large thighs. His other hand is too busy grippin’ the couch cushions to do much else. He’s lost to it—to her—an’ he doesn’ wanna be found.

It’s over far too quickly, embarrassingly so—it even surprises him. He’s ridin’ the high of his pleasure and his orgasm hits him so hard and fast that Clyde barely has any time t’warn her. All he can do is make a frantic noise, her name garbled in his throat as he quickly tries to push her off a’ him. But it’s too late—he’s cummin’ the same time that she’s pullin’ away, and Clyde can only watch in an odd mix of both arousal and horror as his cum paints her chin, neck, and cleavage.

Juniper’s mouth is held open in a surprised little ‘o’ shape, brows arched, and Clyde feels fuckin’ humiliated.

“J-Juniper, darlin’, m’so sorry, I—“ He scrabbles behind him for the throw blanket layin’ across the back of the couch, tuggin’ it into his lap so he can clean his mess off a’ her skin. He’s quick to tend to the spend on her cleavage first, hyperaware of how close it was to the fabric of her pretty black dress. “I’m sorry, I tried t’warn ya but it was too—“

“Clyde, it’s okay.” Her voice is all raspy and Clyde bites back a moan at the sound of it. She was so fuckin’ sexy, fuckin’ flawless. He’d cum all over her, messy and wild, and she was still lookin’ at him like he’d hung the damn moon. She pulls herself to standin’, and Clyde’s gaze dips down to where her knees were all red from kneelin’. Just another thing he didn’ know he found hot until now.

“But I guess it’s a little dangerous to keep this on, huh?”

His gaze snaps up to her face when she speaks, and she’s wearin’ a grin, eyes alight. Then she’s twistin’ her arms around, wrigglin’ out of that cute little dress until it graces the linoleum floor. She bends down to pick it up, drapin’ it carefully over one of the kitchen chairs. She moves like it’s nothin; like the sight of her in her heels and underwear ain’ makin’ his cock try to thicken up again.

“Yer so beautiful.” He tells her, gaze trained on her as she walks back over to him. Clyde feels so small with her standin’ in front of him; feels vulnerable even if he was still mostly dressed. Juniper steps out of her heels slowly, placin’ them to the side before leanin’ in, restin’ her hands on the back of the couch on either side of his head so she can kiss him.

Clyde runs his flesh hand over her bare waist, down the swell of her hip, toyin’ with the band of her underwear. He doesn’t push it down; he won’t without her permission. It’s enough to kiss her like this, soft and lazy, feelin’ her skin underneath his. He feels all gooey and happy from his orgasm, even if it had come sooner than he’d have liked.

He sighs into her mouth, content; chases her lips when she pulls away. Juniper starts to work on the buttons of his shirt, and he sits up to help her ease it off a’ his shoulders. She folds it neatly, settin’ it to the side; Clyde forces himself to speak, tryin’ to get his brain back in workin’ order. “D’y’wanna—wanna go back to the bedroom? You c’n lay down and I’ll—I’ll take care a’ ya.”

He thinks he sounds all awkward and silly, but Juniper gives him a warm smile, and his insecurities fade. She was always comfortin’ him, whether she knew it or not. She places one last lingerin’ kiss to his lips before noddin’ at him. “I’d like that.”

______________________________________________________________

taglist friends!

@paper-n-ashes @glassbxttless @mariesackler @leatherboundbirate @millenialcatlady @jynzandtonic @peachyproserpina

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[eddiesfaerie]

Long Sleeves (part 2)

Summary: Pushed to its absolute limits; a retelling of the past 4 months of you and Charlie’s complicated relationship (13.5k words, i dont know what to say other than im so sorry)

Warnings: NSFW, f!reader, major angst, annoying fluff, mentions of divorce, affairs, age gap (between Charlie and reader, previously implied), nudes, phone sex, PIV sex, daddy kink, some size kink, pain kink(?), rough (and angry and sad) sex, dom and sub themes, spanking, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), i also mention christmas a lot at the beginning which isn't really a warning but i know not everyone celebrates it!

Part 1

A/N: for those of you who are not a fan of d*ddy kink but who may still want to read this; i only use it between the time stamps of Christmas Eve to March, following the March timestamp there will be no mention or use of that word! just thought i’d mention cause the ending is cathartic!

LATE DECEMBER - APARTMENT

With Henry and Nicole staying in LA until after the holidays, Charlie would be alone with you until he left again.

And he didn’t leave your apartment once in the meantime.

Making up for lost time, is what you could call it.

The hours, days, spent in between sheets, on countertops, on couches, in the shower. Like he was trying to mark your apartment with his scent, make sure you never forgot him when he would leave again for LA in a few days.

You would remember him everywhere.

The way your knees bruised on the tile floor of your shower. The welts on your ass from his harsh hand. The bite marks on your shoulders, the bruises littering your neck, stomach, anywhere he could reach.

You would remember him everywhere.

The thousands of ‘good girls’ he praised you with and the thousand and one ‘fucking sluts’ he punished you with. Charlie was coming to know your insides and outs better than you could at this point, it was a certain level of familiarity you were happy with him reaching. He was becoming more and more comfortable around you.

You could tell not just because of the frequent sex, the hard fucking, but because of how he was opening up to you about the divorce. About what was really going on down in LA, what was happening with Henry, what had been happening (or more so, not happening) with Nicole for nearly the past year. 

He told you about how she ignored him, refused to have sex with him, even touch him. How he had found solace in a one time affair with their stage director, how he just missed feeling needed, feeling wanted by the only person who was supposed to fulfill that innate human desire.

He told you everything he could think of, every little detail. He was tired of hiding, holding it in.

He realized he would have to tell you when he would get a random call from his lawyer or from Nicole herself, when he would talk to Henry. When he yelled through the phone or hung up crying, slamming his device against the wall, nearly breaking it.

He knew he would have to explain it to you, he owed it to you.

You deserved to know, especially now that he was involving you in this to some degree. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to involve you but he needed you more than he needed anyone else right now. More than he was ready to admit perhaps, just how much he truly needed you.

And that’s why going back to LA would be the hardest thing he’s done all week.

He stood at the door, dressed, suitcase packed, heart lurching, thumping low in his chest with dread, resent, fear, and some feeling he couldn’t fucking name.

Lo-

“I wish you could come.” He says instead, the saddest smile you’ve seen adorning his perfect lips. You smile back, just as sadly. You know there was absolutely no reason for you to go to LA with him, to spend Christmas with Nicole and Henry and whatever extended family would be there as well. It would never happen, never work. At least, not right now. Not like this.

The divorce proceedings were on break till after the holidays, both in and against Charlie’s favour. It meant not giving Henry two Christmases, one last normal one. But it also meant pretending, indulging in that… façade that him and Nicole have been keeping up for too fucking long now.

The deed would be done sometime in February, maybe March, Charlie couldn’t remember. He tried not to think about it too much. Think about losing everything-

“I know. But you’ll enjoy yourself. Henry will be happy.” You remind him, letting him hold you so, so tightly. His vice grip, digging into you, trying to anchor himself to you.

“I can’t believe I’m leaving you alone during fucking Christmas.” You laugh.

“I’m going home to see my parents, I won’t be alone, Charlie.” He nods his head, hearing the words you’re saying but he still can’t stop the guilt from creeping up on him. He doesn’t want you to think he’s abandoning you. He won’t abandon you, like everyone’s abandoned him. He just hoped you wouldn’t abandon him either.

Charlie presses his forehead against yours, his hands gripping your waist and pressing your body against his. Your arms wrap around his neck.

“I’ll call you this time, I promise. Every night… I’ll call.”

“Okay.” You giggle, believing him.

His hand sneaks its way up your jaw, gripping your cheeks gently but angling your face for you to meet his dark, dark eyes. You know that look, so familiar now. You feel the pressure start to rise inside you, heat pooling in the very pit of your stomach.

“You’ll be good for me?” You nod immediately, fervently.

“Yes, Charlie.”

“If I ask you to send me pictures, what’ll you do?”

“S-send you pictures.” Breathless, your voice sounds so breathless. Your eyelids threatening to close but you keep them on him, always.

“That’s my good girl.” He growls, tilting your face all the way to his lips, a kiss, a seal of approval. You moan against his lips, letting your eyelids flutter shut, imagining yourself in all those new lingerie sets he’s bought you over the last week.

Your early Christmas presents, he had told you.

“The… the taxis waiting out front.” You say against his lips, not wanting him to leave just yet, but also not wanting him to leave you high and dry before getting on a plane set for across the country for at least another week, probably longer. Charlie ignores you, shoving his tongue down your throat, his grip on your jaw moving down to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly, fingers ghosting over bruised skin, enough to make you fall further into his chest, gripping his perfectly ironed shirt, ruining it.

He pulls away all too soon, no doubt doing this to you on purpose. It was 7am and you were already whimpering into his parted lips.

“I-I’ll miss you.” You admit, heart crashing into your ribs. 

You hadn’t meant to say it but he was making your brain foggy, your thoughts were jumbled together and you just let it slip past your lips. Charlie stares at you, red lips swollen like petals, cheeks matching, hair perfectly in place with your help nothing but fifteen minutes earlier. It feels like a lifetime has passed before he says anything back to you. The taxi honks outside on the curb.

“I’ll… I’ll miss you more.”

CHRISTMAS EVE - UPSTATE NEW YORK

It was relieving to be away from the city, surrounded by more wilderness, more foliage, more trees, more animals. A literal breath of fresh air that wasn’t tainted by sewage and the ever present scent of smoke coming from somewhere or someone.

You loved coming up here. Escaping. You hadn’t been back home since last Christmas. You moved away when you were quite young, the relationship you had with your parents was complicated, clashing personalities, it was difficult to understand each other when you were younger but there was clarity that came with age. They finally respected you, and you finally respected them as well, understanding them better.

You think spending so much time with Charlie and Henry gave you an insight into parenthood that you had never been privy too beforehand. You were thankful for that, not only did you appreciate your parents more, but now parenthood had many more benefits that you had never considered before. Magical, rewarding, fulfilling.

Charlie kind of made you feel that way too.

It was still awkward at times with your parents, that was unavoidable. No siblings around meant all eyes were on you. They were asking for too many details, prying too deep and you just never felt comfortable indulging in yourself this much. But you always came prepared, it was the holidays after all, things always got weird.

After Christmas Eve dinner, your parents invited you out on a walk with them around their little town. They did this every night apparently, just walking together, talking. It was cute, endearing. You declined their offer, however. Thankfully you weren’t sixteen anymore, and your parents didn’t press you any further to come along with them like they used to.

They’d be back in thirty minutes.

That gave you thirty minutes to call Charlie. Just as he instructed.

Earlier this evening, as your parents were beginning to prepare dinner, Charlie’s family was just finishing lunch out in California. A perfect time for a perfect distraction, or intrusion. 

You had packed a few sets of the new lingerie Charlie had bought you, not knowing what he would want to see on you or how often you should switch it up. You nearly brought all of them but didn’t want to take up too much space in your luggage and be suspicious.

You put one on that you thought Charlie was particularly fond of, a skimpy little number that revealed more skin than hid, it’s colour complimenting your skin like it was made for you, made to hug your figure in all the right places. You forgot that Charlie had such a visual mind sometimes, he knew exactly what you would look good in.

Nervous and a bit shaky, you tucked yourself away into your childhood bedroom to take your pictures for Charlie. You felt like a teenager again.

Charlie was not pleased with the timing of your pictures, seeing as he was surrounded by family and innocently looked at his phone only to get a glimpse of your beautiful fucking body, all the blood going from his head straight to his cock. He nearly fainted. His cheeks lit up like Nicole’s Christmas tree and he stumbled from his chair. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be more occupied with paying attention to Henry than to notice him sprint to the bathroom to scold you over text.

That was hours ago. Charlie had told you to call him exactly at 11pm eastern time. That was only 8pm where he was but he said it worked out perfectly so you didn’t argue. You just waited patiently on your bed, number dialed on your phone and ready to call, all the clock head to do was strike eleven.

Finally, the clocks ding around the house, your thumb flies across your screen and you hold the phone up to your ear, worrying the flesh of your lip between your teeth. It rings once, twice, three times before you can hear his breath on the other end. It already sounds heavy.

“H-hi Charlie.”

“What are you wearing.” His voice is strained, maybe he’s already holding himself in his hand.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” You twist your fingers together nervously. Charlie grunts on the other end, a frustrated sound.

“I f-fucking told you, no pleasantries. I-it’ll only make us miss each other more-” You stayed quiet. You knew he was right, but you already missed him so much and hearing his voice was making it worse. You felt your lip tremble, you missed his arms, his warmth, his-

“Are you fucking pouting right now?” His voice was firm, sturdy, and annoyed.

“No, Charlie.” A lie.

“Good, now tell me what you’re wearing.”

“I’m wearing your favourite, the one from earlier. I’m barely covered.”

“Oh I know baby, your tits looked so fhuuuucking good in those pictures you sent me.” The fluctuation in his voice was rising and falling randomly, you could picture his hand wrapped tightly around his angry cock, the head flushed red, precum dribbling out the top, just begging to be licked. He tasted so good…

“A-are you touching yourself?”

“No, you didn’t tell me to.”

“G-good girl, you’re so fucking good to me, you know that?” You pictured his chest, the way he flushes right in the center, between his pecs. The way the red splotches climb up, up, up his neck and onto his cheeks and up to the peaks of his ears. You thought about the heavy rise and fall of his chest as well, how fucking wide he is, how much bigger than you he is. You audibly moaned.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“Y-you.”

“Be specific- fuck.”

“Um, your- your cock. How big it is, how big you are. How it feels when you stretch me out, when you go so deep I feel you in my stomach-”

“Keep going baby, I’m… I’m so f-UHcking close.”

“I think about the first time, a-a lot. How it felt the first time you split me open- fuck Charlie you’re so big I never think you’re going to fit but I always take it, I-”

“Yeah, yeah you always take me like the good little girl you are, such a good fucking slut for me, taking my cock in that tight fucking pussy.” He sneers, you can tell he’s talking from behind clenched teeth and you moan again, loudly. Your brain short circuits, what comes out next, comes from the deepest part of you.

“Oh Daddy,-”

“What did you just call me?”

Fuck.

You hadn’t really meant to say it, you were just so caught up in the moment, the feeling, the sound of him that you completely lost your inhibitions and let it slip out. You expected him to just end the call now.

“Charlie I’m so sorry-” He cuts you off with a firm call of your name.

“I asked you a question. What… did you call me?” Your stomach flips and your insides threaten to spill past your lips and onto your floor.

“Daddy.” You say so quietly you’re not sure he even heard you.

“I didn’t catch that.”

“Daddy.” Frustration laces your voice as you project the word throughout the entire upper floor of the house. He definitely hears it that time. You think you hear Charlie moan on the other end but you don’t want to be too hopeful.

“You wanna call me Daddy? Hmm? You want me to be your fucking Daddy, is that it?”

“N-no…” You’re not sure what he’s getting at, but you feel like he’s just going to torment you.

“Don’t fucking lie to me you little slut.” His breathing picks up again, his voice booming, heavy breaths between every few words. You can hear the slick of his hand as it moves quickly over his length.

“Yes! Yes I- I want you to…”

“Say it.”

“I want you to be my Daddy.” Charlie moans loudly again, his hand somehow moving faster. You can tell he’s close. You can’t believe he likes this. You love it.

“Yeah, I’ll be your fucking Daddy. You better fucking call me that non stop when I get back to you, my sweet little girl.” You moan this time, squeezing your thighs together, feeling your arousal trail slightly down onto your thigh. You were so distracted you hadn’t realized you’d completely soaked through your underwear.

“I will, Daddy.”

“Fuck, I’m-”

Confidence surged you. You still couldn’t believe he liked this but you finally gave in, feeding his desires. When you spoke, your voice was filled with something wicked, sickeningly sweet and most of all, evil.

“Are you going to cum for me, Daddy? Make a mess for me?”

You felt like you hadn’t even finished your sentence before a loud moan punched through your phone and into your ear. You moaned as well just from his release, feeling it in your mind and in your chest, squeezing your thighs again for any sort of friction. Charlie continued to moan through his release, you pictured his silky cum painting his taut abdomen and his beautiful chest. You imagined it blending in with his moles and freckles, you pictured yourself rubbing your hands through it, massaging it into his skin before licking it all up. 

He wouldn’t even have to ask, you would just do it.

“Y-you’re fucking perfect… you fucking angel.” He’s so breathless, completely spent and wasted from your voice alone. You felt so hot. You needed to relieve yourself but you didn’t know if you should ask for permission or not. Before you could even debate it, Charlie spoke again.

“Go to bed, wouldn’t want Santa catching you up like this.” You laughed softly at his comment. Static on the other end. He said your name as if to check if you were still there.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

The line went dead.

JANUARY - BROOKLYN

You had sent Charlie pictures nearly every night after that. And you two called each other every other night as well.

He asked it of you and you couldn’t say no to your Charlie. It was a bit tricky while you were still staying with your parents, he would simply text you and you would have to scurry off to your room or the bathroom and snap as many flattering pictures of yourself as you could. You tried to make it seem less suspicious by drinking tons of water and just blaming it on your bladder.

But the new year had finally come, and you were now back home in your apartment. Charlie would be returning tonight and you were counting down the hours until you saw his taxi pull up on the curb side. You distracted yourself until then.

At around 7pm, you got an unexpected call from Charlie.

“Hi.” You felt like your smile was audible through the phone.

“Hey,” Charlie chuckled darkly, his voice always sounding deeper and richer through the receiver. “I just got in. I was wondering if you’d like to join us for dinner tonight?”

Us? He didn’t mean….

“It’s just me and Henry, Nicole’s uh, staying in LA until further notice. If you’re busy or if you can’t that’s-”

“I would love to,” The fact that Charlie would ask you to spend dinner with him and Henry warmed your heart beyond comprehension. Your weeks of loneliness suddenly dissolving into the background and becoming nothing more than a distant memory, a distant feeling. “but is Henry okay with it?”

“Of course he’s okay with it. He’s actually been talking about you quite a bit. I think he might have missed you more than I did,” Charlie choked a bit on his last words, “not that I didn’t miss you, I just meant that he, you know, Henry was-”

“It’s okay, Charlie I understood what you meant.” You giggle, finding his slight awkwardness endearing. How was it that you both were having incredible phone sex for the past two weeks and now you both sounded like teenagers calling their crush?

“So, you’ll come?”

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Charlie groans at your suggestive tone.

“Don’t start now.” His voice stern, unwavering. You laugh again, more mischievous this time. You test the waters, not stepping in enough to drown... just yet.

“I’ll be over in ten minutes, is that okay, Daddy?” You hear rustling on the other end of the phone and then Charlie cursing a low ‘fuck!’. You think you hear Henry’s voice too, followed by more of Charlie’s now muffled voice.

“Ten minutes is fine.”

//

Henry had bombarded you at the door, he wrapped his tiny arms around your legs and hugged himself tightly to you. It took everything in you not to cry, you knelt down so you could hug him back.

“I missed you.” He dug his cheek into your shoulder. This kid was the sweetest, he would melt your heart every time.

“I missed you too, Henry. How was LA? How was Christmas? Tell me everything!”

Henry grabbed your hand and dragged you into the living room where all his new toys were laid out, ready for him to play with. As he was pulling you there, Charlie emerged from around the doorway like an angel himself. Your eyes met and you felt as if you were moving in slow motion, and not being dragged at top speed by his child.

“Hi.” You greet, almost shyly. Unsure of how to act around him with Henry present.

“Hi.” Charlie repeats, grabbing your free hand for the briefest moment, giving it a tight squeeze until it's pulled out of his grasp by Henry.

You’re not sure how long you spent playing on the floor with Henry, him retelling you the events of the last two or three weeks while Charlie sat on the couch, glancing at the two of you every now and then. You tried not to think about the position you were in, kneeling on the floor, carpet digging into your knees, Charlie sitting tall above you on the couch, looking down at you from between his parted knees. It looked like such a natural position for him, almost like he was too comfortable like this, too familiar with it. You wanted to-

The doorbell rang, making both you and Henry jump from the sharp noise.

“Henry would you like to go pay the pizza guy?” Charlie asked, already pulling his wallet from the pocket in his pants.

“Yes!” Henry shouted, jumping up from the carpet, whisking the crisp bills from his dad’s hands and running to the door to answer it. Charlie figured he had a minute or less before Henry came back.

He lifted himself from the couch, taking your jaw into his hand and bringing you to stand with him. He crashed his lips into yours, violently shoving his tongue down your throat and you had to bite back the moan that threatened to spill through your lips and into his awaiting mouth. His hands had a deadly grip on your waist and on your jaw, you only wished he would ease up because you didn’t want Henry to wonder why you both looked so flustered.

“I can’t wait until tonight.” He said against your lips, his hand on your jaw moving to trail down your throat.

“W-what’s tonight?”

“I got it!” Henry came rushing back into the living room but not before Charlie pushed himself away from you and let go of your throat and waist. It looked like nothing had happened.

“Let’s go set it up in the dining room.” Henry stomped his foot in retaliation, whining slightly.

“Nooo, Dad, can we please watch a movie with pizza?”

“Henry, we have a guest-”

“Please!”

“What movie do you want to watch?” You asked, budding in, trying to stop a tantrum in its tracks. Henry’s eyes lit up and he glanced between you and his dad.

“Have you ever seen ‘Frozen’?” You actually had, but he didn’t need to know that. You gasped.

“I haven’t!” You glanced over at Charlie. His eyes were dark but an innocent smirk pulled at his lips.

He was thinking about how this just meant it would take longer before he could finally fuck you again, a two hour movie cockblock. It had been over two weeks since he had felt your body against his, nothing to satiate him but the sound of your voice and some mediocre photos. Charlie thinks he should show you how to take some really good ones sometime soon. Not that yours didn’t most definitely do the trick, he just thinks he likes the idea of directing you, positioning you...

But Charlie was also thinking about how he found it very sweet, very heartwarming to watch you bond with Henry. He loved watching you have such a good time with him and treat him like a person, not just a child. And he could tell that Henry really liked spending time with you too. Not just from how much he talked about you when you weren’t around, but the smile that lit up his face when you came over or when he went over to your place.

It was getting harder and harder to get Henry to smile like that.

You all sat down on the couch, little wooden fold up tables in front of your seat to hold your plate of pizza slices. Henry sitting between you and Charlie, of course.

Henry sang along passionately to almost every song, sometimes with bites of pizza in his mouth and Charlie would scold him for it, afraid he would choke but Henry ignored his dad’s requests, just continuing to belt out along with the characters on screen.

As the movie progressed and neared the end, you could feel Charlie getting more and more sleepy on his side of the couch. He would rearrange his sitting position every now and then and his eyes would close for minutes at a time. He looked so soft with his arms folded across his chest, his eyelashes fluttering against the tops of his cheeks, his lips coming to rest in the softest little pout. You nudge Henry gently and he turns to look up at you.

“Looks like your dad’s asleep.” You giggle, pointing to Charlie. Henry immediately jumps on him, startling Charlie awake.

“Dad I can’t believe you fell asleep again!” Henry pouts, grabbing Charlie’s face between his hands and shaking him from side to side. Charlie grabs his son’s little hands to stop his efforts, sitting himself up straighter on the couch and hugging Henry to his chest.

“Mmm’wasn’t sleeping.” Henry rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you go get your daddy a blanket so he can get comfy for the rest of the movie.” You wink at Henry, sending him searching upstairs for the perfect blanket for his dad.

Charlie groans and drops his head on the back of the couch, his hand draping across is as well, coming to rest on the very tip of your shoulder. He wraps his fingers along your muscles, squeezing the flesh into his palm, tightly.

“I heard that.”

“Heard what?” Daddy.

His head lifts from the couch to glare at you, his stare deadly, shooting right to the deepest parts of you. Why were you teasing him like this?

“Dad is the dinosaur one okay?” Henry calls from up the stairs, slowly making his way down and back to the couch.

“It’s perfect, Henry. Thank you.” Charlie takes the blanket from Henry and kisses the top of his forehead before he settles back on the couch, cuddling up next to his dad.

You unpause the movie, admiring the two of them every now and then, watching Henry becoming more and more sleepy as the film nears its end. As the credits roll, Charlie removes the blanket from around himself and moves it to wrap around Henry.

“I’m going to go tuck him in.” Charlie whispers to you. You nod sweetly at the two of them. Charlie carries Henry in his arms towards the stairs before Henry grumbles, calling out your name to you back on the couch.

“Will you come too?”

You look to Charlie for guidance, you don’t want to overstep any boundaries. You’ve never been in the upstairs part of their apartment, you’ve never seen the rest of their place, Henry’s room, Charlie’s room, their bathroom. You’d never seen any of it and it all felt incredibly intimate and incredibly wrong in some way. You didn’t want to accidentally see something you shouldn’t. But Charlie just smiles back at you and nods his head gently.

“Of course, Henry.” You follow them up the stairs, smiling at Henry who smiles that shiny little kid smile at you before laying his head back down on Charlie’s shoulder, resting his eyes again.

Henry’s bedroom is exactly like you imagined it would be. Colourful blue walls, vibrant comic book patterned bed sheets, toys absolutely everywhere yet Charlie avoids them like their place on the floor has meaning, like he’s ingrained it into his mind from stepping on them too many times, muscle memory. You stay in the doorway, leaning on the door frame watching them, not wanting to intrude.

Charlie carefully lowers Henry onto his bed, tucking him in the covers and kissing his forehead. He says sweet words to his son, lulling him further to sleep and Henry smiles dopily back at him, whispering a quiet ‘love you, dad.’

Charlie turns around to face you, he flicks his head in the direction of the stairway mouthing the word ‘go’ to you, you nod and head down the stairs, waiting for him in the living room. You decide to settle yourself at the foot of the couch, sitting on your knees, feeling the burn of the carpet again and waiting for your Charlie.

He descends the stairs slowly, achingly slowly. Making you wait for it, making you feel the weight in his steps, his foot pressing into the wood, applying his weight until he shifts down another step before finally, finally, making his way to you.

You look up at him from your place on the floor, you try not to let your mouth hang open as you gaze up at him, this beautiful man. Sometimes, when you look at him, you wonder if whatever god or gods were out there made him like this on purpose. Sent him here looking the way he does to taunt you, to test you. Test your strength, your will to defy him when you know there is no humanly way possible to deny this man of what he wants. And what he wants is you. Why would you say no? How could you?

After observing you on the floor below him, Charlie seats himself down on the couch like before, knees spread, looking down at you. You scoot closer to him, hoping he doesn’t tell you to stop. His hand comes to rest on his knee before he pats it.

“Lay your head down on me.” His voice rumbles in his chest. You think you feel it through the floorboards, through your knees, up your spine and in the pit of your stomach. You listen and scoot closer, resting your head on his bony knee, nuzzling it with your cheek and looking up at him through thick lashes. You continue looking at him as you press a tender kiss as well, just for fun.

The lights are dim in the living room, the time ticking closer to midnight, Henry asleep upstairs. You both had to be quiet, you both knew this. Charlie’s hand comes to brush against your cheekbone, he trails his index finger all along the valleys of your face and then moving into your hair, gripping the back of it into a fist before relaxing again, bringing his hand back to hold your cheek.

“I’ve missed this.” He says so quietly. You nod, biting your lip.

“Me too.” You say, eagerness beginning to fill your voice. You adjust your position, coming to lean further into him, closer to his crotch where you can tell he needs you. Charlie hums contentedly.

“Mhmmm. Tell me what exactly you missed. Who you missed.” You let your hand glide over his knee, over his muscular thigh and towards his crotch, feather light touches along the fabric of his pants. You could feel how hard he was, it seemed painful.

“You. I missed your cock too... Daddy.”

There it was. He found what he was looking for. His hand found its way into a fist again in your hair, tugging it tightly, his head falling back against the couch as you pressed your lips over his covered cock, straining in his pants.

“You can do better than that,” he groaned, voice almost as strained as his cock yet still so forceful, “show Daddy how much you really missed him.”

You whimper at his tone, your voices both so hushed, rasped and desperate, spurring each other on much quicker than usual. Your hands, shaky with desire, reached up for his belt, grasping the cold metal into your hands and unbuckling it as quickly as you could. Only when you got to his zipper, did Charlie stop you with a light tap to your cheek.

“Teeth.” He scolded. You nodded.

You brought the zipper in between your teeth, biting down on the tiny piece of metal and slowly dragging it down over the hill his cock was creating in his pants. The heat radiating from his body was palpable, you could feel it coming onto your face the lower you dragged the zipper and the more he was revealed to you. You could also smell him, that smell that was undeniably Charlie; musky, earthy, a hit of fabric detergent and just the natural smell of his skin, like almonds in the summer. It made you dizzy, drunk off of him already.

You hadn’t even gotten him in your mouth yet.

You nuzzled your face into his clothed crotch, feeling his hard member pressing into your cheek, you could feel it pulsing, you could feel him wanting, waiting for the moment your mouth would take his length as far back as you could. You whimpered at the thought.

“You like it? You like my cock?”

“Yeah, I love it.”

“Then show me with that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” He sneered, pulling harder on your hair. You hummed and smiled, you felt giddy, maybe you really were drunk. You nuzzled your face into his crotch one more time before bringing both of your hands up to his waist, letting your fingertips dance around his beautiful skin that lay revealed to you above the waistband, you lean up, up, up pressing the softest, delicatest kisses to his skin.

Charlie groaned, pressing on the back of your head, pushing your face further into his tummy. You left more and more kisses before you gave him a tentative bite, not letting your teeth sink in too much before you lave your tongue over the abused flesh.

“Fuck that feels- fucking good.” Charlie moaned, looking down at the new mark that would only darken itself by tomorrow as more blood rushes to the affected area. It was placed beautifully next to his hip bone. You think it looked pretty. So did he.

You finally let your fingertips dip into his waistband but not before latching your teeth onto the stretchy fabric as well, aiding your fingers in removing them. You dragged it down, down, down his skin, just until his cock sprang free and laid heavy on his lower stomach. Charlie hissed, his hips bucking slightly from the sudden freedom.

He has the prettiest cock you think you’d ever seen. You never get used to seeing it, taking it in your mouth or your cunt. The stretch is always so painfully good, you’ve come to crave it. And going without it for the past however many weeks has made you near delirious for it. You stick your tongue out and run it all along the underside right to the very tip, where a shiny, pearly bead of precum has just begun to spill over. You hum as you lick it up, eyes nearly rolling back into your head.

“Don’t be a fucking tease.” Charlie grits from behind clenched teeth. You look up at him innocently, you notice that he’s clenching and unclenching his jaw like clockwork, his eyes look glassy and his cheeks are a few shades darker. He already looks so disheveled, so perfect like this.

“I can’t help it… it’s so pretty.”

“You think Daddy has a pretty cock?��� You nod your head, humming, which you can’t seem to stop doing tonight, he just has you feeling so content, so safe. You don't think you could be like this with anyone else. You trace your fingers along his length, watching it bob from the slightest of touches, even Charlie tries to bite back his groans.

“Can-can I kiss it?”

“Please.” You lower your head towards his length, pressing your lips so softly onto his red angry head, giving little kitten licks in between kisses which has Charlie gripping your hair like a vice, afraid you’ll float away. You like the way his stomach flexes in response to your touch, like his body is bracing himself for the tidal wave of pleasure that’s bound to hit at any moment.

You finally take the spongy pink head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before letting a few inches fall past your lips as well. Charlie’s tummy flexes even more, the v shaped muscle becoming more and more prominent and you moan onto his cock. His free hand that had been clenched into a fist comes to hold one side of your head and the other comes to meet it. He holds your head in his hands and forces you to take more of him, but not all of it just yet. You start bobbing your head up and down on his length, his hands helping you find his ideal speed.

“Fuck yes, oh my god, j-just like that-” Charlie moans your name, his fingernails digging into your scalp making you moan on his cock again, only making him dig deeper, pressing your head further down his length, forcing you to take him until he hits the back of your throat.

“Gonna let Daddy f-fuck that pretty little whore mouth of yours?” You let your jaw go slack more than it already has and do your best to nod with his cock half way down your throat, tears already beginning to brim in the corner of your eyes. Charlie starts lifting his hips off the couch slightly, all the while moving your head further up and down his cock, forcing it down your throat as far as it’ll go without you making obscenely loud gagging noises.

His son was asleep right upstairs, after all.

You let your eyes roll back into your head, letting Charlie take control and just fuck his cock into your mouth like you know he needs to, like he knows you need it too. It’s been too fucking long. Too fucking long since he’s had you like this. At his disposal, his little plaything to do whatever he pleases with. And you fucking love it.

The cool, sharp metal of his unzipped zipper digs into your jaw and occasionally your neck, biting into your skin and scratching your skin when Charlie lifts his hips up particularly high but you don’t care. In fact, you welcome the pain, embracing it as a mark of Charlie’s rough loving. You hope it draws blood.

“Fuck, your mouth i-is so fucking perfect, so warm... I don’t-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, his eyes screw shut and you can feel his cock growing impossibly harder. He looks down at you, his face twisted in absolute pleasure as he loses himself in your tight little mouth. He pulls you off his cock with all of his strength. A trail of saliva connecting your spit swollen lips to the head of his cock. You start pumping him quickly with your fist.

“No-no wait I don’t…”

“I want it Charlie, please,” Charlie throws his head back, moaning your name, “cum in my mouth... please.”

You nearly whine that last part. Charlie grabs your hair and tugs it, shaking your head a bit.

“I want to fuck you, I don’t wanna cum yet- FUCK!” You hadn’t stopped your hand movements, your fist moving faster over his cock while he fights his release.

“You can fuck me tomorrow.” You say quickly before attaching your lips around the head of his cock, sucking on it until you feel his thighs, abdomen, hands, mind and soul tense up before he bites back his guttural moans, letting them rumble through his chest like thunder passing, before spilling himself onto your tongue. You moan as it lands, letting it slide down your throat as you taste him, taste all of him until he’s completely drained.

You look up at him through heavy lashes, coated thick in tears that have streamed down your cheeks. Chest heaving, abdomen pulled taught, cheeks incredibly flushed, lips swollen, eyes heavy and tired. Completely spent. He looked so beautiful, your Charlie. So beautiful like this.

“S-show me.” His hand reaches for your jaw, pinching your cheeks to force your jaw and mouth open. You stick your tongue to show him. All gone, you swallowed all of his cum, for him.

“Good girl.” He whispered, patting your cheek affectionately. You smiled sweetly at him, coming up with your hands resting your weight on his thighs, pressing your swollen lips to his. As you extend your knees to stand, you feel the ache in the joints, the bruises already present, no doubt. You loved the pain. Your lips glide effortlessly across each other, so tired, so worn out but always wanting.

“Stay, please.” He says against your lips. You shake your head, no. It was a simple answer. A simple predicament.

“Henry.” 

You pull back to look into Charlie’s eyes, he pulls you into his lap and he winces as you apply just a bit too much weight onto the base of his cock. You look into his eyes, already so sad at the idea of you leaving. But Henry would ask too many questions in the morning.

Why is the nice lady from next door still here, Dad?

Did she stay the night, Dad?

Did she sleep in your bed, Dad?

You and Mom’s bed, Dad?

“I know, I know.” Charlie says, defeated. He presses you into his chest, hugging you to him tightly, tighter than you were expecting. It was a hopeful thought. He understood why it couldn’t happen, couldn’t work. Maybe he just wanted you to entertain the idea for a minute with him. Maybe it would happen one day.

“I really did miss you.” He whispers into your hair, cradling the back of your head with his large, warm hand, pressing you further into the nook of his neck.

“I did too. I really missed you too, Charlie.”

MARCH - BROOKLYN

Charlie was currently back from his third visit to Los Angeles, hunting burroughs for the perfect new home for himself and for Henry. Maybe for you as well, but Charlie didn’t like to dwell on that for too long, he couldn’t allow himself such hopeful thoughts, he would only be let down. 

Would you really want to move in with him? Was that moving too quickly? Would you think he was insane? Crazy? Obsessed? The truth was, he is all of those things; insane, crazy, obsessed with you. He couldn’t help it, no. Not when it came to you.

He would always be desperate for your affection, your attention.

Things were escalating with the divroce. Nicole and Charlie had turned bitter, viscous, backstabbing, conniving. Both fighting for a child who has no intention of hurting anyone, certainly not his mother or father.

Henry had no idea what weight his actions or words held, no idea what it meant when someone came over to observe him and his dad, or him and his mom. When they sent someone out to New York to watch him there, sometimes you would be over too. They asked you so many questions, he didn’t understand why. Why were strangers suddenly so involved in every little thing his parents did? Were they in trouble? Were they bad people? Was he a bad kid? Did they hate him?

Henry pouts as you hold his hand, walking up the driveway to the new apartment Charlie was almost one hundred percent decided on renting. It was in more of a family oriented neighbourhood, still close to his school. Somehow, it had a decent sized backyard (which you had never heard of in New York, even Brooklyn), three bedrooms, an office, a beautiful kitchen, it was basically perfect in Charlie’s eyes.

The first time he visited it back in February, he sent you dozens of pictures and little videos when he had gone alone. He quickly booked another appointment for you to go and look at him with it so he could get your opinion. He made it very clear how important your opinion was to him on this matter, he was always asking you questions about the apartment, even bringing it up randomly. He would scroll through the pictures he had taken, scrutinizing every detail and ask you about it.

Do you think the backyard is big enough?

What if I end up getting Henry a dog? Would there be enough space for that?

Do you really like the kitchen? Be honest.

What about the office room? Do I really need that? Is that too much?

What about the guest bedroom?

You wonder if he was so invested in your opinion because he trusted you, or because he wanted you to move in with them. Neither of you had ever spoken about it before, never had that conversation. And even if you did, Henry would always have the final say. If he didn’t want you living with them, well, that was that. You couldn’t argue with Henry, not when his childhood and upbringing was in question. Especially after this divorce. Charlie would do anything for him. Even if it meant risking you.

//

Charlie ended up getting the house he had been eyeing for nearly a month.

Him and Henry would restart here, no painful memories embedded in the walls, in the flooring, in the holes in the walls, the slammed door frames, the windows that threatened to shatter from all the screaming and crying. None of that was here, it would never be here. None of that would happen again.

Charlie hadn’t asked you to move in.

And you hadn’t necessarily been waiting on him asking either.

You were already coming over pretty frequently. And not just on account of Charlie, Henry still loved seeing you and hanging out with you. You still babysat him when things at the theatre ran late. 

When Nicole moved to LA, Charlie was thrown full force into his work. Forced to recast, rework, and rewrite so many things that she had just left hanging. You watched Henry those nights, stayed until Charlie got home and then took the subway back to your place, next to their now vacant apartment.

You were so lonely those nights you couldn’t sleepover at Charlie’s. You missed his warmth. You hadn’t realized just how much comfort you got knowing he was just next door, just beyond a thick wall. You could have touched it and felt his presence radiating through. But now, nothing. It was cold, dark, empty, meaningless.

And because Charlie had been so overworked for the past few months, the stress was starting to get to him. The constant obstacles and backtracking in the theatre production. The random calls from Nicole, his lawyer, the random flights down to LA, the weeks Henry spent away from him, the nights he lost himself in you, using you as an outlet. You let him, you liked it when he took it out on you, you liked how rough he would get, all that pent up anger being pounded out into your hot cunt. You loved it. Loved when he got mad, frustrated. You were always there for him. You would always be there for him, you hoped he knew that.

But what you didn’t love, was when he started neglecting you.

He would go days sometimes without calling you, so much as even texting you. You would get no word from him for a couple of days and sometimes you would just randomly piece together that he was in LA and he just forgot to tell you. You tried to not let it upset you, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through, the stress of the divorce, the potential of losing Henry, his whole life hanging by a thread. It really wasn’t his fault that he just forgot to mention it to you.

Sometimes he would lash out at you, a small comment or action rubbing him the wrong way and he would erupt, say something he didn’t mean or just walk out on you. Times when things go heated, you tried your best to keep you composure for his sake. He didn’t need you being upset at him too on top of everything else, so you kept it in, for Charlie.

Sometimes he would lash out before you two went out with his theatre friends. He would smile and hug everyone, but kept somewhat of a distance from you. Barely speaking to you, barely including you in the conversation unless someone else asked you a question or directly addressed you. What did you look like to them? Friends? Friends with benefits? Did you look like his whore? The babysitter that he was secretly fucking?

You kind of were.

You drank a lot that night. He fucked you when you got back to his new place. He fell asleep quickly after. You pulled on your long sleeve shirt and nice dress pants that you had been wearing that night after laying next to his warm, sleeping body for thirty minutes, debating, thinking, worrying, dying inside.

You stood up and walked to the door, you looked back to find him watching you. You nervously tugged at your sleeves, staring back at him until he turned around, pushing his face into the pillow, as if silently willing you to leave. You left. You called a taxi and left. You didn’t sleep that night.

//

You think it was because he told you he was going to Los Angeles again.

Maybe he mentioned Nicole? His lawyer? Something about Henry? The theatre? 

You couldn’t remember what started all of this yelling, smashing. You were over at the new place, helping Charlie organize some things for Henry before he came back with him the next time he went out to LA again, which was in a few days.

Charlie was pissed and this time, you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold your calm resolve for him.

“Charlie if you just need some space from me tell me, it won’t hurt my feelings, I understand.” You decide to try and change the subject, maybe just cutting to the chase. Offering him what you think he wants, alone time. Time away from you, from everything. There’s no way he doesn’t need a break.

You hated how quickly you would give everything up for him. You would do anything for him, anything he asked.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, eyes squinting in confusion. You sigh, running a hand down your face, your patience was running thin and you didn’t want to accidentally set him off.

“Everytime you see me you manage to get frustrated or mad about something. I just don’t want to give you more problems than you already have. I know you’ve been really stressed.”

“Elaborate, please.” His voice was clipped as he put his hands on his hips, stopping what he was doing and turning to you, seemingly giving you more attention than he had in weeks. You huff, not sure how to explain this to him.

“Charlie I-”

“No, what the fuck are you trying to say? That if I fucking ended things you would just leave? No questions asked?” His voice boomed, echoing off the newly painted walls, shaking the frames of yours and Henry’s dinosaur paintings from all those months ago. 

He takes a step closer to you, you take one back, then another just for good measure. Your back hits the wall and you take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts as best as you can with him staring at you with those eyes. Those fucking eyes. They still managed to twinkle even when he was angry.

“I- I would… for Henry. You put Henry first, I put Henry first. If he wanted me gone-”

“He doesn’t fucking want you gone, you know that.” Charlie scoffed, walking closer to you, his face red in frustration, maybe anger. He says your name, it's never sounded so sad.

“Why are you lying to me?” He’s a step away from you now, chest heaving with laboured breaths. He’s trying to compose himself, you can tell. Trying to stay calm but his patience was wearing thin.

“I’m not, I w-wouldn’t lie to you, Charlie.”

“You would leave me?” You nod your head, lip trembling, tears burning, stinging in your eyes, your breathing becoming heavy too. Was this it?

“If that’s what you wanted, if you want me to leave I would.”

“Why? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?” His lip is also trembling, you feel like he’s about to spit in your face, yell at you for being such an idiotic little girl. The thought alone had you squeezing your thighs together, this was so fucked. You shouldn’t like this, shouldn’t like when he got frustrated, you resented the fact that you did.

You couldn’t think straight, the words leaving your mouth didn’t feel your own, like you were speaking some other language, possessed by a foreign being.

“Be-because…” Bile rising in your throat, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Fucking why? Tell me why!” He was yelling, his face in yours and his voice breaking.

“Because I… because I love-”

And then Charlie was kissing you.

Charlie was kissing you.

His tongue swiped into your mouth like he was trying to strangle you with it. His hands came to your cheeks and pressed your body flush against his and the wall, sandwiched between the two. He was hard, you could feel his cock pressing into your stomach as he rolled his hips into you, you moaned into his mouth, tears spilling down your cheeks. He didn’t wipe them away.

“Don’t say it… don’t- fucking say it.” He said against your lips, voice so hush, so quiet and scared.

“Why? Why are you afraid of me?”

“I’m not fucking afraid of you.” He says, confused, angry, lips rough on your own. He keeps trying to kiss you, you don’t want to push him away but you try, you push on his tough chest, his heart beating wildly in its cage.

“Yes you are. You keep pushing me away.” You cry, hiccupping on a ragged sob that leaves your chest, as you ironically try to push him away from you. Charlie tries to kiss you through it, trying to suffocate you.

“I’m not.” He fights.

“You are.”

“I’m not-” You push, harder this time. He stumbles back, lips already swollen, his eyes are wet, glossy too. Like yours.

“You are!” You yell, voice breaking, choking on your tears. “Don’t act like you haven’t been treating me differently for the past month.”

When Charlie says nothing, you continue.

“You don’t call me, you don’t text me, I only come over to babysit Henry when he’s here and when he’s in LA you just fuck me and then get mad about something and leave. When we go out you don’t look at me, you don’t touch me-” Your voice falters, you’re not sure you can go on with the way the sobs wrack through your chest and into the rest of your body. You feel weak, like you might collapse into the ground. You wish you would, you wish the floor would just swallow you up and you could disappear.

Charlie sees red. His fists shake, clenched into fists at his side after you’ve pushed him away. His palms burn to touch you. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he should listen to what you’re saying, let you talk, remind him how much he’s been hurting you. He knows what he’s doing, he’s not stupid.

He wasn’t trying to push you away, he definitely wasn’t doing it on purpose. But he was sabotaging himself, sabotaging everything because he felt he didn’t deserve you. He was a bad father, a selfish person for wanting to take Henry away from his mother, for wanting Henry to himself, a bad person for hating Nicole, a woman he once loved.

Love.

It was all because of love wasn’t it? Charlie wants to laugh at the thought. Wants to laugh and scream and yell and hit something at the thought of stupid fucking love. Was he really becoming that nihilistic already?

Would he come to hate you like how he hates Nicole? Would you come to hate him the way he hates himself? The way Henry probably hates him? The way his parents hated him-

His knees hit a hard surface, blistering, blinding pain shooting up his legs. He’s collapsed onto the floor before he’s even aware of it. Unaware of the sobs that push and pull at his lungs, forcing his chest to heave in the oxygen before choking it back out along with spit and tears. 

He’s crying. You’re crying. Fuck, how did it come to this. This was all too familiar. He feels numb.

How could he love you when love was the scariest thing? When love was the most frightening emotion he had ever experienced. Everything that’s happened to him for the past two fucking years was because of love. Love would ruin everything. It always did. But he couldn’t…. he couldn’t lose-

“Y-you… you can’t- leave me.” He chokes, hands planted shakily on the floor, holding his upper body up, his arms weak.

You… you’ve never seen Charlie like this. And honestly? It scares you. Sure, you’ve heard him yell, scream, cry at Nicole, his lawyer over the phone. But this was different. This was visceral, burning desire, regret, shame, embarrassment… this was everything coming crashing down around him at once.

Fuck.

This is what you’ve been trying to avoid over the past month. That’s why you’ve tiptoed around him, letting him get angry, letting him yell, letting him ignore you, use you, fuck you and ask for nothing in return. You were avoiding this.

But maybe you had just prolonged the explosion? Let enough gas build up before it eventually burst into flames.

Eventually…

You had definitely made this worse, by ignoring it you’ve let it fester, let it rise and rise and rise, just pushing down the lid for your own sake. Maybe it was both of your own faults? You don’t know, you don’t care. This was bound to happen at some point. And it just so happened to be today. All you really care about is Charlie.

You kneel down on the floor in front of him, resting your palm on the floor like he has, letting your pinky finger graze against his. The slightest of touch as to not scare him off. He flinches, his head still hung low, eyes screwed shut.

You place your hand on top of his, feeling his burning skin, testing the waters. He doesn’t pull back so you continue your efforts. You intertwine your fingers with his, slowly, slowly lifting his hand up off the ground and closer to you. He still doesn’t look up. You keep moving his hand until it’s on your chest, covering your left breast. Only then does he look up, searching your eyes.

He feels it then. That same thing he felt the first time… the first time he had you. Your beating heart, pumping wildly in your chest just like his was. Did you know? Did you know what you did to him? Did you know how much he needed you, how much he thinks of you? Did you know that he… that he-

“I won’t.” You say, cutting him off mid thought. His hand clutches onto you through the fabric of your shirt, trying to reach through you and grab your heart into his hands. He wants to pull it from you, keep it for himself and lock it away, make sure you never fucking leave him. He was so selfish.

“I won’t leave you Charlie.” You say again when he says nothing, just watching his hand twist into the fabric of your shirt, tugging it strangely until he’s rid you of it. He places his hand back on your chest, feeling your heart better now through the barrier of only your flesh.

“I…. I’m sorry.” “You said you wouldn’t lie to me?” It feels like the first thing he’s said in hours, his voice rough around the edges, gooey in the middle. His post-yelling voice, you knew it too well.

“I wouldn’t.”

“Then why… why would you even say that? That you would leave me?”

“Because if that’s what you wanted, what you needed… I would do it. I would do anything you wanted, anything for you, Charlie.”

“Why?” He couldn’t understand. There was no fathamobale reason as to why he would deserve such devotion. Especially from you. 

You’re quiet, unsure of how to answer him. This was the same back and forth you both had before he exploded, when you almost told him you… that you lo-

“I-I don’t know how to answer… you told me not to say it.” You whimper, tears spilling from your eyes again. His hand comes to hold your cheek, thumb swiping away the tear. You nuzzle into his hand, kissing his palm. You stay there for a moment, resting your face in his palm, feeling his warmth radiating from his hands, letting a silence wash over the two of you. It was sort of peaceful. A chaotic peace.

“Charlie, I-”

“Don’t... don’t say it.” You cry some more, tears spilling. His hand moves to your throat, squeezing gently, you find it oddly comforting.

“But I want to, I want to say it, please.” You grab the wrist of the hand holding your throat, squeezing his flesh, asking.

“No.”

“Charlie-”

“I said no.” He grabs your jaw, shaking you from side to side a little. You whimper, eyes screwing shut, pushing more tears past the precipice. He pulls you into his lap, you’re putty in his hands, letting him move you however he needs to move you. He holds you in his arms, your legs wrap around his waist and his legs bring him to stand up somehow, his strength always shocking you.

“You can’t say it... you can’t leave.” He continues, you sniffle, hiding your face in his neck, grabbing onto his hair as he carries you somewhere through the apartment, up some stairs…

“I’m sorry, Charlie, I’m- sorry.” You hiccup and cry into his neck, wetting the skin. You press your lips over the newly wet skin, feeling his heartbeat flutter underneath, teeth grazing the thin flesh.

Suddenly he’s lowering you down, down, down until you come in contact with a soft surface, his mattress. Charlie crawls on top of you, you let him rest between your thighs, keeping your legs up high on his waist.

“Don’t ever fucking leave me.” You shake your head from side to side in agreement with him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. His hand trails down the length of your body roughly, burning your flesh in its unforgiving path. You’re left only in your jeans since he removed your shirt when you were still downstairs.

“I won’t, I-I didn’t mean-” You can barely form a proper sentence, choking on your own tears and sadness that wrack through your mind and body. Charlie’s hand in already palming your sex through the thick denim you wear, you whimper, trying to squeeze your thighs together but his body blocks them.

“Stop talking.” He barely gets out the words before he’s pressing his lips to yours again, letting his lips glide against your wobbly and swollen ones. You breathe each other in, letting your tongues dance across one anothers as you gasp and cry into his mouth. It’s all teeth and all tongue, it’s messy, clumsy, desperate, burning. You don’t care, he doesn’t either when your teeth clack against each other, nibbling on lips, biting sometimes.

Charlie flips you over underneath him so that you face the sheets, sliding down your body and roughly tugging down your jeans along with your underwear in one swift motion. You gasp as your wet cunt comes in contact with the cool air of the darkening day. Charlie stands on his knees behind you, pulling your ass up higher, higher, higher until he’s satisfied. His cheeks are warm, his ears pink at the peaks. Before either of you even have time to think, his hand comes down harshly onto your right ass cheek, you cry out, gripping the sheets by your head.

“Ch-Charlie!” You gasp, earning you another smack to your other cheek. You push your head down into the covers, trying to muffle your cries and moans as he keeps going.

His smacks you again, and again, and again and again until you’re a sobbing mess in the sheets. Words, languages lost to you in your muddled brain. A pool of spit near your mouth soaked into the white fabric, only a wet spot remaining to show for evidence of your euphoria. You can feel the imprint of his hand on your ass, you know it's burning red, you know the skin is raised and puffy. You fucking love it.

Charlie’s chest is heaving, breaths labored as he takes it all out on you like he knows you need it, knows you love it. He does too; love it and need it. The way your ass gets so much brighter, how big the imprint he’s left on you is. How fucking perfect you are for him... He’s pulling off his shirt before he knows it, shedding his pants too until he’s in nothing but his underwear. You’ve stayed exactly where you are, not daring to move a muscle since he hasn’t instructed you otherwise.

“So now you listen.” Charlie mutters to himself, it's barely audible to you since the blood is coursing so loudly through your veins, through your ears. You’re buzzing.

Charlie pushes you back down on the mattress so you lay completely flat. He pulls your jeans and underwear down the rest of your legs until you lay there bare before him. He inhales sharply at the sight of you. He could see the way you glisten for him, he could feel it on his hand when he had spanked you, your arousal having begun to trail down the tops of your thighs, he moaned at the sight.

His hand comes flying down, this time spanking you roughly on your pussy causing you to lurch forward into the sheets, crying out his name pathetically again. He leans over you, keeping his hand clutched tightly around your cunt, feeling your juices seep between his fingers, you moan and try to press back into his hand but he just slaps it again, your eyes screwing shut. He’s nearly got his entire weight on top of you, his hot breath fanning across your cheek as he comes close to your face.

“You’re so fucking wet for me… you want it that badly?” You nod your head vigorously.

“Yes! Yes, Charlie I want you, I-I need you so badly, please.”

“Hmmm, what do you need?”

“Anything, y-your fingers…”

“Where”

“... in me, in me please.” You’re completely desperate, your crying and sobbing from earlier making you especially weak to his ways, his voice, his body. God, he could do anything to you, and you would let him, you would beg him, you would thank him.

Slowly, Charlie sinks one thick finger into your soaking cunt. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he pumps it slowly, in and out, in and out of you. You try and push your hips back to meet the small thrust of his finger but he keeps you pinned down.

Charlie could feel you clenching around his single digit and he groaned next to your ear, nibbling on the soft lobe as he continued his ministrations. You whined, withered underneath the weight of his body, his hot chest pressing into your back, pressing you into the mattress. 

“Charlie, please I-”

“What? You need more? You need more from me?”

“Please.” Charlie draws his index finger out of you before joining it with his middle one, probing your entrance teasingly, swirling his fingers around it but never going in.

“Fuck-”

“Do you think you deserve it?” He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve you, your pussy, none of it. He was only projecting his worthlessness onto you. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t.

“N-no.” You say, tears welling in your eyes from a multitude of things. Overstimulation being one of them. You tried to get your hips to stop pressing into his hand but it was so hard when the temptation was right there.

“No… you don’t.” He kisses the tears that slip from your eye, pressing a finger to your mouth and you gladly take it in, laving your tongue around his salty, rough skin. His two fingers at your entrance finally push in deeper, causing you to cry out around his finger that was in your mouth, drool slipping past your lips.

Then he starts pumping, quickly, and you can’t stop the way your hips push into his hand, trying to meet him halfway through his thrusts, needing more so badly. You moan around his fingers, he echoes your moans back into your ear. You can feel his cock filling out, getting harder and harder against the back of your legs where it still lays confined in his underwear.

All too quickly he pulls his fingers from you and spanks your pussy again, you choke on a cry around the finger that’s still in your mouth. You’re already wrecked, and he’s nowhere near done with you.

“You only get to cum on my cock, understand?” You nod your head with vigour, eyes trying to meet his from where he’s positioned, behind you yet over top of you. You can feel him moving around, pulling his fingers from your mouth and his underwear off as best as he can without moving too far away from you.

“I understand, Charlie.” You cry, the tears unrelenting at this point, beyond your control.

Fuck, what weas he doing? Why was he doing this now?

What other way did he really have though, to show you what you mean to him? Definitely not words, no. No matter how much he writes for the theatre, words could never come close to describing what he feels for you, what he needs from you, wants from you, what he wants to give to you, tell you, provide you. None of it, no language would do.

Nothing would come closer to his body on you, in you, moving in tandem with you, hearts so close together that he loses sense of himself and just feels you wrapped so tightly around him in every sense. That’s the only way he could show you, the only way he could tell you.

He grabs his cock in his hand, pumping himself slowly and rests his head on your shoulder, groaning into your skin at the sensation. “Beg.” He spits, his lips moving against your flesh. He rubs the head of his cock against your slick folds and you yelp, pressing your hips back but he anticipated it, drawing his hips back, away from you.

“Charlie, please I-I need you so badly, I’ve never wanted… anything else but you, I just- please, I need you so bad, I-I, l...love-”

“I told you not to fucking say it.” He grits from behind clenched teeth, slapping your ass harshly and you let a sob leave your lips. The burn was so good.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t help it-” You whine, fists bunching up the sheets with a grip so deadly your skin is turning white. He lets his head drop to your shoulder again, his own eyes screwing shut, trying to will his own tears away as he continues to run his cock along your pleading entrance, collecting whatever arousal has seeped out of you.

“Fuuuck, perfect little pussy... so desperate for my cock, isn’t it?” He mutters, almost to himself as he watches the way his cock moves between your glistening folds. Unashamed, you keep crying, moaning at the feeling of his big cock so close to where you need him most, nodding your head.

“Please, Charlie I need you inside m- fuck, just put it in, please-”

Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel him press in with the tip, letting the spongy head break through your folds and slightly dip into your entrance. Your fists clench and unclench against the sheets. With a sharp ‘fuck’ Charlie presses the rest of his long, thick cock into you, both of you moaning and breathing in one another.

He lets his cock sit in you, coming to interlock his fingers with yours, pinning your hands above your head, elongating both of your bodies but mostly yours, from how much longer his body is. Only then does he start snapping his hips into yours, letting his thrusts punch out your moans and cries from your chest.

At this angle, he’s hitting places inside of you so deep you never thought you could fathom, filling you up to the brim, you swear you can feel him in your stomach, punching your guts into your throat with every violent thrust.

You moan his name without relent, it’s the only thing you could possibly ever know. Charliecharliecharliecharliecharlie to infinity. You never wanted to know anything else, no other thought suddenly as interesting as him. He was the only thing that mattered. The way his cock filled you was dizzying, mind-numbing, and bone-shattering.

“You always need me so badly, you could never leave me, never leave this cock. Desperate little slut.” Charlie groans, head resting on your back as his powerful thrusts push you up the bed. He latches a hand around one of your hips, trying to keep you pinned down.

“You would never fucking leave me, you’d never fucking do it.” He continues, maybe to himself. You can feel him nuzzling his face into the skin on your shoulder, kissing and biting the skin, leaving a mark in his wake like he always does.

“I won’t, Charlie- I won’t, I promise.” You hiccup, his thrusts unrelenting in their assault. You could feel your release building, that bright white feeling rising inside of you. The only sounds in the room were your breathy moans, Charlie’s growls and the loud slap of skin on skin, his hips colliding with your ass every time.

“Dont ever say that s-shit again- dont ever fucking leave me. Don’t - ever. Fucking. Leave.” He growled, biting your shoulder and punctuating his words with harsher thrusts, fucking into you.

“I’m s-sorry Charlie-” You’re cut off by a sensation on your back. Hot, wet, slippery. Charlie sniffles. 

He’s crying, burning holes into your flesh as they land on your back. Your own eyes well up all over again. The pleasure of his cock deep, deep, deep inside you and the emotions flowing through both of you was overwhelming, overstimulating, your mind was going blank, you felt like you would black out.

You hear it then, his quiet cries, the way his chest shakes as he finally lets it go, lets it out. And then he’s suddenly pulling out of you, grabbing one of your ankles and one side of your hip, flipping you over quickly, hiking your legs back up around his waist and continuing his punishing, relentless pace. You moan embarrassingly loudly as you watch the way his stomach flexes into you, the way his chest tightens and constricts, the flush that spreads from in between his marvelous pecs to his cheeks, his dark wet eyes, the red that fills them, the way his eyelashes clump together, making them look longer, darker, the dark halo of hair that frames his face. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was beyond you at this point, you couldn’t stop what was already put into motion.

“Oh, Charlie…” You cry, chest arching into his, your nails scraping his biceps. He moans at the pain, dropping his forehead to yours. You’ve never heard him moan like this, never seen him cry like this, never seen him so lost and completely gone in you.

Even if it was a mistake.

Even if you would regret it tomorrow.

Or five minutes from now.

Or immediately afterwards.

It was the truth, your truth. His truth. It was the only thing you could ever possibly know.

“I love you.” You cry, burning tears streaming down your cheeks. Charlie’s eyes meet yours, lost, delirious, shocked.

“You… y-you can’t.” He doesn’t tell you to stop this time. Doesn’t tell you to shut up, doesn’t tell you how dumb and pathetic it is to love him. You love him.

“I do, Charlie I-I do. Fuck, I love you so fucking much.” You whine, nails biting the skin on his back. His hips never stop, he’s fucking common sense and all things rational out of your mind. All you know is him. All you ever want to know is him, Charlie.

His chin wobbles, moans escape past his lips as he refuses to stop fucking you, his cock so fucking hard it hurts him, almost more than this. Almost more than the chant that has started to leave your lips, the floodgates have been opened and you can’t stop your confession now.

“I love you, I love you- shit, Charlie I love you, I love you so much, I love your fucking cock, fuck!” You couldn't stop, you felt like you could never stop at this point. You never wanted to stop saying it, never wanted to stop telling him. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him.

“You’re… you’re not real… you’re- fuck, too fucking good for m-me.” Charlie gasps, his hips speeding up, his cock growing harder somehow. You feel him pulse inside of you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, mouth hanging agape, no sound being emitted from you. Charlie moves his lips down to your exposed throat, kissing and sucking on the delicate skin before wrapping a firm hand around it, not squeezing too tight.

“Yours.” You manage to choke out, gripping onto his wrist that's at your throat with all the strength you had with your body gone pleasure weak. Charlie moans your name, it makes you cry more.

“I’m yours, Charlie.” You manage to say more clearly, using all your willpower to look him in the eyes. His eyes are blown black, the dark circles underneath them so, so pigmented. You could feel the crescendo building, he was about to break. His lips were glossy, spit slicked and roughly bitten.

“You’re mine.” He confirms, more to himself than to you. He just… he felt like he could never be sure enough. Like he would never believe that you were his. That you were in love with him.

You nod your head, hands interlocking behind his head, gripping tightly into his hair.

“I’m yours, yours.” You keen, hips rolling into his as you both neared your release. His hand around your throat keeps you pinned in place as his fucks you into the mattress, moaning, groaning, crying your name. The slight added pressure makes you see stars, your pussy flutters around his cock and your back arches, pressing your chest into his but Charlie keeps you exactly where you are, your body convulsing as you cum, cum, cum around his cock, screaming his name.

“M’gonna cum, gonna f-fucking cum s-so deep inside, fill you up-”

“Please, Charlie.” You whine, dumb from the high that he continues to fuck you through, tears stained on the skin of your cheeks. You tug on his hair roughly, meeting his thrusts with a roll of your hips and that sends Charlie over the edge.

“Fhuuuck-” He lifts his head slightly, to look at you better as he splits you open one final time, his cock stilling in the deepest parts of you before he cums so fucking deep inside your pussy with the most guttural moan.

He fucks his cum back in to you until it’s seeping back out onto his cock. He groans so loudly you feel it in your bones. His hands wrap around your upper body, holding you tightly as he spins to lay on the mattress, holding your body to his chest, his cock still nestled deep inside of you.

Charlie gives you a small thrust, pushing and mixing his cum with yours one final time. You gasp and cling to him, your nails digging slightly into his muscular pec at the sensation, the delicious burn. You feel so incredibly full, so full of your Charlie. You love him.

“I lo-”

“I love you.”

Your heart must have stopped beating, your lungs, forgotten their functionality, your brain short circuited, your limbs incapacitated.

You looked up at him with those big, shiny wet eyes. You looked like a fawn, lost on the side of the road who just found someone who could help them. Someone kind, someone gentle, honest, safe, warm. Someone worth loving. He was worth loving. Charlie was worth loving.

But you already knew that.

He said it again, so low in the dark room, the dark night, eclipsed with spilled feelings and sweat, tears too. So many fucking tears. His voice so low it almost didn’t register, the deep vibrato rumbling your insides and warming you up all over again. 

He said it with you curled up on his chest, he said it again when you moved up his body to press your face into the crook of his neck, pressing your lips to his bruised skin, he said it as tears spilled from your eyes. He would say it as you fell asleep on him in the deadly hours of the night and again in the morning when you woke. He would remind you constantly, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t hold it in. Not anymore.

He would tell you he loves you a million and one times from then on, until you didn’t want to hear it from him anymore. 

tag list! @morby @shesakillerkween @gamingaquarius​ 

[denkilightning]

What the actual fuck do you mean exclude george? Sure let me just throw this guy who’s not in the relationship into my karlnapity art real quick. No one is ever excluding him he’s just not part of the relationship. That’s not how relationships work. He’s a very close friend to all three of them but beyond that it’s weird to imply that he’s platonically involved in their romantic relationship.

first of all, dont be fucking rude to me on my own blog, please, especially if ur on anon :) i only feel bad about blocking anons on accident /srs

second of all, i see your point, and i want to explain this is not the context i was making the post in mind with (idk if this sentence was grammatically correct but fuck that)

i do not mean "put c! george in c! karlnapity explicitly romantic-focused works e.g. in art or fanfiction" i mean dont exclude c! george from karlnapity dynamic, in literally every other context, you romantic-focused fucks.

what do i mean by that? (all this is rp/ so i dont have to keep on adding c!)

george is inherently ingrained into the karlnapity dynamic, they were since the beginning of the relationship. in literally every scene that isnt explicitly romantic (like karlnapity discussing their relationship status), george is right alongside them, individually and as a trio.

george and sapnap are brothers and hunters, george and quackity are best friends, and karl and george are the same person in different fonts (i.e. they think extremely similarly and fit together perfectly - in the stream when they were putting around kindom posters they guessed the same number from 1-100 and then 1-1000, following the exact same thought process).

then theres them four, as a dynamic. there are exactly two (2) events where karl, sapnap and quackity are present, but george isnt: 1: november 16th and disc war finale. and canonically, quackity isnt even there for the second event so sucks to suck ig

to be fair karl and sapnap mightve been present for the election day when george was asleep but imma be honest idk i didnt watch the vod cus george wasnt in there :p

narratively, george is an important part of karlnapitys dynamic. in the story, you cant just exclude george out of karlnapity without making it extremely out of character. just with this seasons examples:

who gives quackity news about kinoko? george

who sapnap goes with to look for quackity? george

who karl wants to live with over sapnap, his own fucking fiance? george

THEN theres canonical very heavy implication that big q has romantic feelings for george ("george i thought i was only in love with you!"), and that he wanted to propose to them ("i wanted to propose-")

and here comes my biggest issue, the one i had in mind while making that post:

its the exclusion of george in fanwork, along with fucking horrible mischaracterization of em. i cant read a single karlnapity fic thats not horribly mischaracterized, mainly due to the fact the fandom downplays georges part in their relationship.

if you stop focusing on the romantic part of the dynamic (which admittedly wasnt that big part of it for most of their dynamic), ALL karl, sapnap, quackity and george play an important role in their dynamic, and minusing george out of that is pure nonsense.

it makes as little sense as excluding sapnap out of the dream team for the sake of dnf. are dnf an important dynamic? absolutely. is dream team an equally important dynamic? fucking yes!!

and if you think about it, whats the reason of the entirety of fandom thinking karlnapity as a relationship has more importance than the fiances + george? oh right!! the fucking need to disregard any and every platonic relationship in favour of the romantic ones!! which is fucking annoying!! especially as an aromantic person!!

with all due respect (which is very little to none at this point), i am not saying "make everything romantic" im saying "stop fucking making everything about romance"

im sorry if i cant articulate my point well /gen, im bad at explaining, so if you have any further questions about my stance, please feel free to ask, just dont be fucking condescending about it.

[en-theheights]

Part two of the problems in HSMTMTS:

In my last post I stated the situations within the fandom not regarding the s*xual assault allegations or the BLM movement. In this post I will be. Let’s dig in.

Sidenote: when I say that someone hasn’t posting anything at all on their Instagram about the BLM movement, I just mean that they haven’t posted anything on their feed. They could’ve posted a bunch of stuff on their insta-stories, but those go away after 24 hours, and it doesn’t count for me.

Joshua, Olivia, and Frankie, were VERY late when it came to talking about the BLM movement. They didn’t say anything until people called them out for not saying anything, and at that point it seemed like they only posted about that stuff because of peer pressure or bandwagoning activism. Olivia is doing her part now, Joshua posted a thread on Twitter a week after eveything had happened. He also said that he donated money. He posted a petition and a photo on Instagram, but that’s it. He hasn’t said anything else about the BLM movement since May when people acttacked him for it. When people dmed his manager on why he hasn’t been speaking up about the matter, she would block them. Here’s what he said on Twitter:

Frankie said something and is mostly doing his part on Twitter, but on Instagram he hasn’t said anything. Joe was hated on for posting the black square and then deleting it because it didn’t follow his aesthetic on Instagram. Although, he is doing his part on Twitter.

Dara, and Julia both unfollowed Joshua on Twitter, as well as unfollowing him on tik tok alongside Sofia too. Don’t know if it had to do with the BLM movement or not, but there is obviously some turmoil between the cast members. (Oh the things I would do to see their group chat rn) Everyone else has been spot on about the BLM movement, and has definitely been doing their part.

Onto the s*exal assault allegations:

Joshua has currently two s*xual assault allegations against him, but the third one came out to be false. Long story short, a young lady on a Twitter named Gr*ce accused him of s*xually assaulting her, but then it came out that she was lying about the whole thing for some “social experiment” She was cancelled VERY quickly. Here are a few twitter threads you can view to learn more about the false accusation:

This is what Gr*ce accuses him of:

This is what what the user shows to say that the accusations are fake:

Tumblr only allows me to post 10 pictures so I’m showing the two screenshots out of them all what I feel is most important. If you want to read more about it, then you can head to Twitter and search up, “Joshua Bassett Grace” and it’ll be the one of the first things to pop up.

This is what he had to say on the situation:

“it has come to my attention that a now deactivated account has spread rumors about me regarding a fabricated encounter with a fan accusing me of sexual assault. this abhorrent rumor is absolutely false, and dangerous to actual victims with real stories. (1/2)”

““i’m sick to my stomach that someone would recklessly perpetuate such defamatory claims. it is vital to respect all peoples boundaries at all times. be kind and be good. (2/2)”

It’s people like her that make others afraid to come out with their allegations because people are just going to assume it’s false. She is a sorry excuse for a human being. Yes, he spoke about the first allegation against him, but he still hasn’t addressed the others ones. This is another one that had come out about him:

It’s not s*xual assault, nor is it s*xual misconduct, really just him being a shitty human being. This one has little to no proof, and it’s hard on what to believe. Personally for me, definitely could be true, but that doesn’t mean he’s an abuser, just more of a guy you shouldn’t try anything with.

The third allegation against him is so hard to comprehend and understand, and I’ve literally searched all over twitter to find it, but I can’t seem to find anything about it. The bare minimum that I know of is that he was messing around with underage girls, but that is just what I could find out of the mess that is Twitter. Still, there is no actual proof that he has been, so believe what you will. Most people have come to Joshua’s defense due to the sporadic accusations against big male celebrities like Ansel Elgort, Justin Bieber, Cole Sprouse, etc. It seems to be a trend now to accuse male celebrities of sexual assault to possibly gain money and internet fame. This is disgusting, and I hope that the other girls that are accusing Joshua are being truthful.

Julia and Joe both liked Joshua’s sexual assault post, but then immediately took their likes back. Julia got on something called Cameo in which you get paid to speak about certain things. Someone asked her her opinion about Joshua’s allegations and she defended him.

Personally for me, she does know Joshua better than the fandom, so Im not surprised at anything she said. She wasn’t going to go on and say bad things about her co star. Although, I don’t think it was smart for her to speak up about it, and then try to beat around the bush. This is also a note to ALWAYS believe the accuser and never the abuser. Just because you stan Joshua does not mean he’s a good person. He’s going to show us what he wants us to see..obviously. stop saying, “he would never do that” because that’s what 12 year olds say. We have no idea the type of person that Joshua is behind closed doors and off camera. This goes for every celebrity ever. Please be smart and know which side to stand for. If the allegations against him turn out to be false, then I’ll switch sides.

Tim Federle was accused of s*xual misconduct a few years ago, but it has finally come to light. Tim hasn’t come out to say anything about it, but it’s DISGUSTING and he needs to address it:

Here a website that you can visit to read more about it:

Once again I’m going to believe the accuser rather than the Abuser. Don’t forget that this allegation against him happened quite a while ago. But because Disney is such a powerful network, any and all information about him during that time has been deleted. Buzzfeed did an article about it, but it was deleted. There is currently a petition going around for Tim Federle to be fire as show runner of HSMTMTS. It needs 1,500 signatures and it’s so close to its goal. Go to change.org and learn more about the petition there. Again, believe what you will, but Tim went very quiet after his accusation came out.

Alright there. I have laid out eveything that I know of that has happened in the HSM fandom. If you still choose to stick with this fandom, than that is completely up to you. I know Tumblr is the safe place for all fandoms, but it’s important that all of you know who and what you’re supporting. This is in no way showing you why you should or shouldn’t leave the fandom. That is completely up to you. Do what you will with this information. I have chosen to overall just completely forget about my involvement with this group and move forward.

Remember:

Know who to stand for

I’m now done with this fandom. If there are still any questions, than my dm is always open.

[anythingandeverything1d]

Kicks and Catch Ups

Chapter 1: Congratulations Chapter 2: I’m having your baby Chapter 3: Plum Sized

It had been a few months since Harry moved in, and well things were not as great as the idea had originally seemed. You loved Harry, but he was being difficult to work with on a lot of levels. One being Luke. Harry and Luke did not get along in any kind of way. Harry thought Luke was trying to take his place and make moves on you. You were laying in bed while Harry was downstairs writing and your brain was thinking about the fight that had occurred a few weeks ago.

* “Harry I’m going out to lunch with Luke and then we were going to go look at some baby stuff. I should be home later okay?”

“Whatever.” Harry sighed rolling his eyes. You groaned and walked over to him.

“Harry, remember when we agreed to talk things out not hold them in? You need to tell me if somethings bothering you...”

“You want to know what's bothering me? How about the fact that you are trying to hold onto this-this fling or whatever the two of you had while I was gone. You go out with him all the time and he's coming to all our appointments and now he's taking you shopping for OUR baby? If you want him, have him but I’m out.”

You sat on his lap and held his cheeks in your hand. “Haz the only one I want is you. Luke is just my FRIEND. That’s it. He's going to be like an uncle to the baby and I want him to feel involved in everything. There is absolutely nothing going on with Luke and I. I promise.” You kissed his lips softly but he wasnt having it. Luke happened to walk in that moment as well.

“Hey beautiful ready to go?”

Harry shot him a wicked glance and pushed you off his lap, standing to walk over to Luke. You ran up behind him and pulled him back. “Harry. Harry look at me.” He slowly turned and you reached your hands around his neck and kissed him softly. “I love you.” you whispered. 

Harry sighed and kissed your cheek. He then grabbed your coat and helped you into it. Looking at Luke he threatened, “Make a move and I will destroy you.” You smacked his arm in response. He dramatically kissed you again before whispering “I love you” back. “Take care of my girl.”

“I always do.” Luke smirked and held out his hand. You were annoyed with everything happening here so you brushed past it and walked to the car. In the car Luke decided to play it up. “Why are you even with him. He’s a fucking asshole. He’s just going to leave you when the baby gets here, go back on tour, fuck another random bitch at a bar and leave you AND your baby here and heartbroken. I mean seriously (y/n) how stupid are you with letting him back in like this. He’s a possessive and manipulative dick.” You looked over at him with tears in your eyes. He knew he had over stepped but said nothing. 

“Let me out of the car.”

“What? No. That’s ridiculous.”

“Luke let me out now.” 

“(y/n) I’m not going to just let you out of the car.”

“Stop and unlock the door. I want out now.”

“Youre being dramatic-”

“LET ME OUT.” you were crying now and Luke saw that the argument was over. He pulled over to the sidewalk and you jumped out. “Don't call me until youre ready to apologize.” You slammed the door shut and started the walk back home. It was chilly that day so you had called Harry, who had immediately come to pick you up. You cried in his arms about everything Luke had said and how you were afraid he was going to leave you and the baby. 

“I’m not going anywhere. If I go on tour, you and the baby will come too. We can make this work love I promise.” *

You shook your head and cleared the thoughts. Luke hadn't come over or called since. Harry had been a little better since then, more supportive, a little less jealous, and overall more like the Harry you had originally fallen in love with. When Harry moved in the two of you had agreed not to date or make something of the situation. You wanted to feel everything out, work on the problems that you had before and see where you were at. You still weren't dating or ready to be dating, but you were in a much better place. Besides the arguing- but being stuck together for long periods of time would do that to you. Harry was currently writing and working on his second album which meant that he was working all the time. He would spend hours upon hours in meetings with other writers. You loved that he was doing what he loved but you also wished he would be a little more present in the baby preparations. Helping with the nursery, purchasing clothes, all of that. 

The one person who had been way more supportive was Anne, Harry’s mom. She was even throwing you a baby shower this weekend with the help of Gemma, his sister. You were excited, you just wished Harry was too. You climbed out of bed and wandered downstairs. Harry looked up and smiled as you approached. He grabbed your hand and pulled you onto his lap. “Want to hear what I’ve been working on?” You nodded and smiled. He held up the page of lyrics and began singing. “I’m in my bed, and youre not here, and theres no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands, forget what I said, Its not what I meant, And I cant take it back, I cant unpack the baggage you left, What am I now? What am I now? What if I’m someone I don't want around? I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling, What if I’m down? What if I’m out? What if I’m someone you won't talk about? I’m falling again, I’m falling again, I’m falling” He looked at you and wiped a tear from your eye.

“That’s beautiful H”

“It’s how I felt...you know...after we broke up. I regretted everything...I wanted to make it up to you but I didnt know how. I guess this little one is to thank for bringing you back into my life.” You were crying harder now. Harry hadn't really expressed any emotions like this in a while especially about him leaving. “Don't cry (y/n)...I’m sorry. I shouldn't have-”

“No.” you wiped your eyes and smiled. “I’m glad you are talking about it.” You kissed him. “I’m really glad youre back in my life Harry. I really missed you.” You laughed and wiped his tears.

“Now you’ve got me crying.” He laughed and kissed you. 

“Oh!” you exclaimed making him jump a little. “Harry its happening!” You grabbed his hand and positioned it on your stomach where you had just felt a kick. The baby had been very active lately but Harry always seemed to miss the kicks. He still hadn't felt one. You moved his hand around. “Come on little one...” You watched Harry’s face as the baby kicked. His mouth dropped open, a smile formed, dimples and everything. He was crying harder now too. You laughed, “That was a good one.”

“I think that was a futbol kick” He laughed. You wiped his tears and touched your nose to his with a smile. “God, this little one is going crazy right now.” Harry was in awe. He kept touching your belly and talking to it. 

“I think our little one likes your singing..” 

He smiled and started singing, “Lately I found myself thinking, been dreaming about you a lot, and up in my head im your boyfriend, but thats one thing you've already got” He smiled at you. “Come on (y/n), I know you know the lyrics.”

“He drives to school every morning, while I walk alone in the rain, he’d kill me without any warning, if he took a look in my brain.”

Harry chimed in, “Would he say he's in L-O-V-E? Well if it was me then I would, I would, Would he hold you when youre feeling low? Baby you should know that I would, I would.” You laughed as the baby did another big kick. This is exactly what you had imagined being pregnant with Harry would be like. Someone knocked at the door and you jumped up to get it. 

“Hey” Luke was standing at the door with a shy smile and a bouquet of flowers. 

“Hey.” You said back.

“Can we talk?” You nodded and let him in where he followed you to the kitchen. Harry rolled his eyes and got up to leave. “No, Harry wait. I wanted to talk to both of you.”

You sat down next to Harry and Luke sat across from you. You all just stared at each other for a few minutes before Luke sighed. “I’m sorry. My behavior was embarrassing and out of control. (y/n) what I said to you...I’m so sorry. I never should have done that and Harry? Man I’m sorry I didnt give you another chance when you came back. Look okay, (y/n) youre my best friend, like my little sister. I didnt want to see you hurt the way you were when he left the first time.” He looked at Harry and shook his head. “Harry you don't deserve her. She's the purest, kindest, and best person I know. But youre still here, youre still trying and I respect that. I hope you work everyday to try to deserve her.”

Harry nodded. “I don't deserve her. Youre right there. She's incredible and the things I’ve done...” you squeezed his hand gently. “Ive been working on making myself better for her. I don't want to hurt her or the baby ever again. I respect you caring for her, for looking out for her, and for being there when I wasnt. But I am back now so I just feel like you were trying to out do me when I was already trying so hard.”

Luke nodded, “I’m sorry man, I overstepped. It won't happen again.” He looked back to you. “(y/n) I overstepped our friendship boundaries and Im sorry. I shouldn't have done that.” 

“Its okay...I know you were trying to help..”

“I was but I said some things that never should have been said. I don't know anything about the two of yours relationship and I’m not sure I really want to” He laughed and smiled at you, “But I really really miss you. Can we fix things?”

You got up and hugged him tightly. “I missed you too.” Luke smiled and held out his hand to Harry.

“Truce?”

Harry nodded and shook the hand. “You should stay for dinner, I’m sure theres a lot to catch up on.” 

Luke smiled and nodded. “Is that the latest picture?” He looked at the fridge where the ultrasound pictures were hanging. 

“Yeah thats from yesterday.” You said walking over. “Finally entering my third trimester..”

“Thats so crazy...it looks like an actual baby now. Is it? Did you find out the gender?”

Harry walked over and shook his head, “We decided to wait..Im pretty sure its a girl though.” Luke laughed.

“What do you think?” 

“I think its a boy.”

“So you both think its something else. Who's gonna be upset when they are wrong?” He asked laughing.

“Harry.” You wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled.

“Probably me.” He agreed. “Ive always wanted a girl. Plus I just think a mini (y/n) would be adorable.”

“It would for sure. I think its a girl too but only because I know (y/n) wants a boy.”  Luke said laughing. You rolled your eyes and smiled. This is how things should've been the whole time.

“So I’m starving...what’s for dinner?”

“What do you want?” Harry asked.

“Yeah youre the pregnant one. What sounds good today?”

“Well honestly pickles and peanut butter sound really good.”

Harry gagged and Luke laughed. “That sounds absolutely disgusting.”

“If thats what you want babe...” Luke shot Harry a surprised glance.

“No..thats not fair to the two of you...how about pizza?”

Relief flooded both of their faces and they nodded. “I’ll order.” Harry said grabbing his phone and leaving you and Luke alone in the kitchen.

“So how have you been?” he asked.

“Good. I mean I’ve been really tired a lot but I also haven't been sleeping well so thats probably part of the problem. I just cant get comfy at night and when I try to sleep the baby gets all active and awake.”

“Well thats no fun. How have things with Harry been?”

You sighed sitting down and rubbing your belly. “We have really good days and some bad days. Things have gotten a lot better lately and today was kind of perfect. I think he's settling back into the idea of everything.”

“Are you and him....you know..a thing..or dating..or what's going on there.”

You bit your lip, “I don't know exactly... I mean I want to be more but we originally agreed just to see what happened..but now? I just feel like I know Harry’s the one. I know I’ll never love a guy the way I love him. And I want things to work with us and the baby. I want us to be a family. I just don't know where he stands.”

“Have you asked him?”

“No...I just don't want to ruin what we have already.” You decided you didnt want to talk anymore about this so you changed the subject. “How’s the girl you've been going out with?”

“She's good. Yeah, I really like her. You’ll have to meet her sometime.”

You smiled. “I’d love that. We could double date. That could be fun!”

“Maybe.” He laughed shaking his head. “That might be a little weird.”

“Why?”

“Because one, youre pregnant and two your dating Harry Styles, and three your pregnant with his baby. That’s a lot for any normal person to take in.” he laughed.

“I think we should go for it.” 

“We’ll see.”

Harry walked back in with a smile on his face. He kissed your head and sat in the chair next to you. “What are you two laughing at?”

“I want us to double date with Luke’s new girlfriend.”

“Oh that would be fun.” Harry nodded. 

“I don't know.” Luke said laughing more.

“The pizza will be here shortly. Luke if you want to call and invite her over..”

“No-No thats okay..”

“No, Luke invite her! She's probably upset you cant hang out tonight because youre here..”

“Eh..I mean are you guys sure?”

You and Harry nodded. “Go for it.”

You smiled and clapped your hands together. “Yay! Its been so long since we've done anything like this!” Harry smiled and nodded looking down. 

“I should probably put on clothes.”

Luke nodded and you laughed, “I don't know H, you look pretty hot to me.” You wiggled your eyes and kissed you while laughing. 

“How hot?”

“Okay gross.” Luke chimed in breaking up the moment. “Aren't you pregnant and like not supposed to get all like that?”

“You mean horny?” Harry asked laughing. “I mean if anything (y/n) has been way more interested lately than before. Our sex life is kind of killing it right now.”

Luke shuddered and you laughed as he looked you up and down. “How exactly does that work with the...with the belly and the baby?”

“Oh trust me Lucas, its a lot hotter than youre imagining.” Harry laughed as he walked upstairs to put on a shirt.

Luke was still grossed out by it but picked up the phone and read the text he got. “She's going to come..”

“Yay! I’m excited!” you groaned. “Ugh this baby definitely makes things interesting.”

“You good?” Luke asked concerned.

“Yeah, sometimes it just kicks against my bladder and you know.”

“Know what?” he asked confused.

“Sometimes I just pee a little.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“Thats disgusting. Okay please don't bring up youre baby sex life and pee problems to Maddie.”

You laughed. “Oh the baby is kicking again want to feel?”

He nodded so you grabbed his hand and placed it where the baby was kicking. He felt it and jumped back. You laughed. Harry’s reaction was adorable, exactly what you had expected him to act like. Luke’s was not. Luke seemed a little grossed out by the baby kicking. He said he was good when you asked if he wanted to feel again which only made you laugh harder. A knock at the door broke the laughing and Harry who was already walking down the stairs answered it. 

“Hey.” He said with a smile. The girl looked a little taken back and you walked forward.

“You must be Maddie?”

“Yeah..” She was still looking at Harry surprised.

“Luke’s inside, come on in. I’m (y/n).” she shook your hand with a smile and looked down at your belly but didnt say anything. “This is Harry.” Harry smiled and waved hi before leading her into the kitchen to where Luke was waiting. 

“Mads Hey!” He walked over and gave her a hug. “Sorry I assumed it was the pizza or I would've answered the door. Well I guess you've met (y/n) and Harry?”

“Yeah.” she smiled at him. She was probably thinking why he didnt warn her Harry Style was going to be there as well. “Its nice to meet you.” 

“The pizza!” Harry shouted running to the door when someone knocked. A few minutes later he came back carrying a few boxes of pizza and breadsticks. “Dig in everyone.”

Harry made you a plate with 4 huge pieces of pizza and you laughed. “Haz, I don't need that much..”

“The baby needs to eat...shes going to be a futbul star remember?”

You just laughed and took a bite. Dinner flew by, you and Harry were asking Luke and Maddie all kinds of questions about their relationship. You liked Maddie, she would keep Luke in his place and challenge him a bit which is what he needed. After dinner they excused themselves and left. Luke hugged you tightly whispering goodbye to the baby and then shook Harry’s hand. Maddie waved goodbye. You and Harry were left. You hugged him tightly and smiled.

“What?” He asked looking down at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I’m just happy.” you answered. “I’m happy with our relationship...I’m happy that Luke is back. All of it.”

“Im happy too.” Harry kissed your nose and smiled. “Luke may not be that bad after all.”

---

Kind of a short chapter, but I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for the next one!

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 2)

Here we’ve got asks that aren’t to ask a question but are just really nice messages. Thank you all for sending us such kind comments ;v;. It’s seriously heartwarming to see so many people having good experiences with the game. I don’t even know what to say to such sweet responses.

We’ll keep doing our best and thank you again to each and every one of you for giving Our Life a chance ❤!

Hello! I've been following this account and have been following the development of 'Our Life' for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your hard work and dedication you have put into the game. It astonishes me how much choice you have during the sequence of Our Life and am excited to play the full version now, I am downloading it as I write this message. I've had a great time seeing the demo transition into to the full game and just wanted to write two words. Thank you.

Anhhhhffbgdfbhujk!!! Congratulations on the release, I’m playing the game right now! Thank you all for your hard work and I can’t wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out, I’ll probably wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out to experience everything, but until then, I still have a lot to play. Thank you once again!

finished my first playthrough just now. it just felt so wholesome ??? 100/10 would do it again. i laughed. i cried. i got angry. i felt second-hand embrassment— i got so into it i was left in literal tears after getting my first ending. the art, the storyline, the music, and COVE HOLDEN– UGH IT WAS LITERAL PERFECTION ❤ THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING SUCH AN AMAZING GAME 🥺😭 this made my 2020 better, i can't wait for step 4 in 2021 ❤❤

So I was following you guys on itchio for years and uhh did I stay up til 6 am on a school night to finish the game? Yes. Did I sob my eyes out during step 3 as a 20 year old having doubts about life and adulthood? Absolutely. I can't form proper sentences right now due to lack of sleep but just wanted to say thank you for making it. I honestly feel lighter and I feel like it changed my views on future to be more optimistic... I can't wait to replay it! Thanks again!

I love how Our Life turned out!! I keep replaying it and can't stop squeaking and giggling!! Thank You for creating it ♥

okay i have actually fallen in love with cove and cannot WAIT to marry him 😭

Hi! I played through 'Our Life' yesterday and  I just wanna say how refreshing it was to be able to have Cove be 'high initiative' and also have so many opportunities to initiate affection from the player character! As a pretty flirtatious/affectionate person myself, I notice that a lot of VNs don't give players that agency, and affection can be kinda 'carrot on a stick' if that makes sense. You guys did an awesome job! I look forward to seeing if there are more of those moments in Step 3 & 4 :)

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the option to choose Cove's level of initiative in step 3! As much I love the option to choose I personally enjoy have the romanced character take the lead without my input so when I got to step 3 and had to option to make it so that Cove initiated affection without as much input from me I was really happy! You guys seriously added so much freedom in terms of choices, it's almost baffling that the only thing you have to pay for is optional DLC!

I absolutely loved everything about the game and I really want congratulate the team for making the game such a satisfying experience.

I look forward to step 4

❤️❤️❤️❤️

* and sorry for my bad English

Just finished my first play through and I loved it! I've been looking forward to the game and it definitely was worth the wait. Thank you all for your hard work and can't wait for the extra dlc!

Till then, hope you guys gets some well deserved rest🤗

Love you guys, thank you so much for your hard work. :)

Ok, so I just finished Our Life and, wow. I have never cried at a video game before, ever. Thank you so, so much! Its one of my favorites.

this isn't a question, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoyed our life 🥺 i've been patiently looking forward to the full game for a few months now, and i couldn't be happier with it! i've only played through it once so far but the outcomes of the choices i made were all so soft and wholesome 💗 i can tell that everyone who was involved really worked hard and you all did an incredible job! i can't wait to see what else is in store 👍

i’d just like to say how addictive our life is!!! i constantly played it during quarantine and now playing the full release is so amazing to me!! i love that i’m still discovering dialogue bits with different personalities and actions!!! i have to admit that i’ve been wishing the day to pass faster all day during school so i could go home and play again. mentally i’m not the healthiest and our life being released has boosted it up so much, thank you for creating such an amazing game!!!!!

Hey, I just wanna say I played our life two times and it still give me the same feelings. I was really looking forward to this game before it came out and I kept on replaying the demo. This game is such an amazing experience and I feel so happy playing it. I am not really a person good with words unfortunately but I do honestly love this more than anything in the world. Thank you for making it and I hope that you will continue to make more games like our life. This game really makes me happy and I can't thank you enough

Just wanted to say that Our Life really made me feel seen as an 18 year old trans man who's been struggling with change as of late and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I just finished the main story and currently released DLC's and gosh, I can really only say... woah. Just, woah. The messages are somehow exactly what I needed to hear right now, and they brought me a lot of comfort in this really weird and confusing time in my life. Can't wait to see what comes next in this lovely story <3

I am honestly in love with Our Life. The graphics, the soundtrack its just *chef's kiss* It was so worth the wait for it. I can't wait for step 4. Keep up the good work GB Patch!

good people i have just finished Our Life and let me say, it was beautiful. rarely have such non-fantastical moments (and even some fantastical moments) brought me to tears like this game has, and i don't even have the dlc (yet). i don't know how you did it but it felt like i was playing a slice of life anime. i had waited with baited breath to play this since i played the demo and my expectations were not just met but surpassed. from the bottom of my heart thank you for this game

I found the game by chance and I am so so glad I did. It’s so inclusive and made me feel so incredibly seen. Seeing that my gender identity and sexuality were possible just meant the absolute world to me. I’ve never seen something like this and it just made me so incredibly happy. Thank you for the absolutely amazing game and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Hello! I downloaded Our life earlier this week and I'm only now getting the chance to play it (Very busy and stressful week) I'm so excited to play and I wanna say thank you for making this adorable game!

I just finished my first playthrough of Our Life and I can't even express how much I love it. Cove is absolutely precious and has killed me several times, and the art and soundtrack is beautiful. I love all the small different choices. I'm very interested in the Derek and Baxter DLCs and the rest, can't wait!!!!!!

thank you for "Our Life Beginnings & Always" it has to be one of the best visual novels i ever have played and i just dont want it to end (i know it will, but damn it! i want to have a wedding night, have children and die of old age with cole! XD) when i play it it always makes me tear up (in a good way) and i am most definetly going to buy all the dlc that you make! thank you for this lovely game and all the work that went into it! (ps: i also loved "lake of voices" )

You guys are incredibly talented and im very proud of you all! You've really outdone yourselves w/ OL and i cant wait to see whats next to come for you all :)

i really love that you can be trans in Our Life! not a lot of games do that so i just wanted to say thank you!

Guuyyss!! I just wanna say! Thank you sm for the headscarf option in the MC creator! I especially loved that little detail where MC quickly slips the headscarf on before greeting Cove, I've never felt so immersed :'D Not that the rest of the game wasn't immersive btw, but since I wear my hijab most of the time that little addition really felt like something I would do! So thank you for that <3

I've been watching "Our Life: Beginnings & Always" development for quite some time, and I gotta say its wild to see it finally release. Its so unique in the way relationships work- even character creation. I've cried multiple times over this game while playing. I can't thank y'all enough for a game with these kind of mechanics, and representation. its rare I get to feel im really playing as myself in games like these. Everyones outdone themselves. this'll certainly be one I keep coming back to.

I've been following the development of Our Life from way back when the first demo dropped and it still blows my mind how many choices and customizations there are (love that update for the MC's bedroom btw!) and the fact that the game remembers them - it really feels like your very own coming of age story! I was so immersed I cried at the end :') Can't believe I experienced this game for free lol. I can't wait for future DLCs and Step 4! Good luck with all your upcoming projects dev team!!

Just wanted to say I love Our Life and I'm thankful it exists. Thank you so much! I love the little world you created and all the people in it. Especially Cove! This game makes me so happy!

Just poping in to say hi and that ilu guys ^^, remember to take care of yourselves!

Hi!! I just wanna thank you for creating such an amazing game. Our Life is one of the few dating sims I’ve found that let’s me be a male mc, it’s really hard to find dating sims that let me be gay. Our Life is my new favorite dating sim to just sit down and playthrough whenever I’m having a bad day so I just wanted to let y’all know how much I appreciate all you’ve done. 🤍

Fan from australia here

Just wanted to reach out and let you know how important this game has been to me. I came across it at a really rough time ( that I’m still going through ) and it’s been one of the things that’s driven me to get up and out of bed sometimes.

This game and cove both hold a very special place in my heart and I can’t wait to see more of him in the DLC and Step 4

Much love ♥️

I know this isnt exactly the main focus of the game, but i really love how we can customise the mc personality wise! This is the first time i've played a game like this where the mc actually does and says exactly what I would do and say in certain situations and its such a breath of fresh air!! It's also so cool how the other characters can pick up on it!!

Cove Holden saved 2020 (my 2020 anyways) I would die for him

Sorry for this being out of the blue, but after playing through Our Life I wanted to thank you for the experience. I don’t know if I’ve ever played a game that has made me cry happy tears TWICE lol. It’s beautiful, scenic, inclusive, and absolutely amazing..have a great rest of 2020 and I honestly cannot wait for the rest of it :,) (ps. The ending song is stuck in my head)

I think you guys might've ruined visual novels for me forever. I'm not sure I'll be able to play another without comparing it to Our Life and I know if I do that I'll be disappointed every time because of how amazing it is. I bought the DLCs before playing the base game it's one of the best impulsive purchases I've ever made

Thank you so much for making our life! It's my favorite visual novel ever and I just can't articulate how much being able to just be honest with my responses instead of going for whatever would make the love interest happy means to me? I reccomended it to evry friend I have that plays visual novels because this is the best one I've ever played!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this game! The childhood friends tropes is my favorite thing and this game delivers! Cove is the sweetest thing, infact all the boys are good boys. Super excited for all upcoming dlcs!

Hi, I just want to thank you for making such an amazing game like Our Life. Tbh, I was following the game’s development for a while, but me and my family moved away from my childhood town just a few days before release, so I really connected to this game. You all did amazing!

hey just wanted to know that i completely loved ol: b&a and it was so good and love cove more than i’ve liked any fictional character, it’s now my comfort media. thank you so much

hi i just wanna say i really enjoyed all of the representation in our life b&a! there were characters with a lot of different body shapes, pic characters, lgbtq+ characters, and you get to choose your own pronouns and sexuality!!! so tysm!!

This isn't a question, I just wanted to say that Our Life is incredible. Ever since I finished it, I've been looking for other visual novels to play so I don't play OL so often that I start memorizing the lines before all the DLC comes out, but I keep coming back to it. It's really one of a kind, I think you all ruined other visual novels for me because I haven't enjoyed another VN like I have this one since I read it ❤.

i think our life b&a is the first game where i felt like cove loved me, not the character i play as which is really nice for someone with kinda low self esteem so THANK YOU

I’ve been playing Our Life practically nonstop since yesterday. I just want everyone who worked on it to know how much the LGBTQ inclusivity means to me. As a closeted trans ace guy in an unsupportive household, I can’t emphasize how much of a comfort this game has been to me. Everything about it is so wholesome and heartfelt. I’m excited to see what other games you make in the future 💙

- A demibiromantic ace transgender man who may or may not have cried over the option to be myself in a game for the first time ever

Csn i just say i really appreciate how you handled MC deciding to use they/them at different stages. Mainly because alot of games don't pay much attention to the body the mc was assigned at birth if they player chooses nonbinary like it does with male/female. And it was just nice to be able to play an mc who just thought gender was kinda 'meh' for them but still felt good about the body they were born with (like myself). I guesd it boils down I'm really appreciative of the hard work it must've taken for you to make all those options possible & still have them matter.

I just wanted to thank you all for Our Life. My mental health hasn't been in a good place recently and it has become my favorite form of escapism/way to cheer up. It's idyllic setting and fantastic characters are such a good way to wind down, I love it. Also, I've been dreading 2021 due to classes starting and general stress, but the DLC and your next project have given me something to actually look forward to :). I'm so excited for them and now I actually have a reason to be happy that it's 2021. Sorry if this message is a bit weird, I just wanted to thank the team for their hard work and for creating something so incredible <3

I've gotta say this is one of the most repayable games I've ever played, if not the most. Usually after i do a playthrough or two of a game i have to wait awhile before playing again otherwise it feels stale. But i haven't had that problem with our life because of the sheer ammount of player agency. Everyone who works on tbe game should feel incredibly proud of themselves because you've created something amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but it really pulled me out of a mentally tough spot in my life. So thank you.

who needs therapy when you have our life: beginnings and always? haha no but seriously this game is my comfort game, and even though i can’t join your patreon at the moment please know i am always supporting you and i am so excited to see everything you have in store! everyone who works on the games is so so talented

All DLCs have nice content. 😡😡

And I love them all!!💗💗💗💖💖💖💕💕💕

[brushes-of-sage]

If all 8 parts dont come thru blame tumblr and their ask limit frozen au idea: ok so yeah varian was born with ice powers(btw i have no idea if hugos adopted in this au or not, it might come back later, my brain is just spitting things at me atm)Varian hugo quirin and ulla were a happy family until one day and accident involving alchemy, ice magic, and a startled alchemist involves in both parents getting trapped in a giant amber trap(Hugo comes in just as the amber finishes consuming them)(1/8)

After this, varian is scared of himself and his abilities both in magic and alchemy. He now wears his gloves 24/7 as opposed to just during experimenting(varian is 9, hugo is 8 kinda like elsa and anna but flipped(i think)) Any confidence he had in his abilities is immediately shattered and try as he might he cant seem to free his parents with magic alchemy or both. Hugo tries to help as much he can but varian is too scared and doesnt want to hurt him. After doing some research,(2/8)

he tries to ask for the trolls help but they cant so he requests they erase his memories of varians power, for fear of hurting his brother (he cant seem to keep hugo out of his lab. He feels horrible about it but cant risk hurting his only family left) Btw i dont c varian hurting hugo accidentally as well i dont think he could emotionally handle it, but all u angst writers, knock urselves out. Fast forward a few years and varian is 21 and about to be crowned king bc he still hasnt found(3/8)

a way to free his parents. While at the coronation party hugo meets donella, quickly filling the mother role he wished he had. Little does he know, she is only posing as a foreign dignitary bc she heard rumors about a magical prince hiding in arendelle and wants to exploit/study it. By the end of the evening she determines its not hugo, but hopes getting in hugos good graces could help getting to varian. Fast forward to the ballroom, the brothers argue (about what i dunno), ice spikes, (4/8)

varian runs, hugo leaves to follow him, and leaves donella in charge. I also headcannon he gets his memories back as the movie goes on bc reasons. Along the way, he runs into belle, a hardened ice harvester whos seriously annoyed about this snow storm in july.(dont worry guys hugo and belle dont fall in love, theyre just friends)They trek their way up the mountain while varian builds himself an ice lab cuz hes a dork. Along the way they meet ice ruddiger("Im sorry u 2 made a snow raccoon but(5/8

not a snowman?" "shut up Belle")So they make it to the lab, Hugos impressed, he wants to reconcile, but varian still has Confidence Issues, insert first time in 4evr reprise and whoopsies Hugos heart is frozen and his hair is turning blue(its already blond) and Belle takes him to the trolls. They tell him “an act of true love” like b4 but they interpret it as familial/platonic love bc that love doesnt get enough love. He thinks its donella bc just like how anna was desperate for love,(6/8)

hugo was desperate for some sort of parental figure, and rushes back, insert evil monologue by donella here. The rest of the movie pretty much plays out as b4: varian is captured, donella continues playing good guy, hugo gets out of the locked library, slowly freezing as he makes his way across the fjord insert art by mom, love heals, parents are finally free, gates are open roll credits. This is honestly something ive been thinking about all day and this au now lives in my mind rent free.(7/8)

I know there are plot holes and missing elements, but this is what i have so far, i lowkey love it, and if u have any questions pls ask, i wanna elaborate this au as much as possible and questions will help and pls tag mom i want her to c this. Sorry if this is too long i just have a lot of thoughts. And oh my goodness that means so much that you've gotten invested tysm(8/8) -💙

Response under cut

Okay, first off oh my heart, I need this movie now akfjakfja (and tagging @cinn-a-mom too ‘cause bless)

So lil Varian is the partial cause of the encasement, right? ‘Cause oh gosh, this poor kid being so enthused by alchemy and now has powers and all of that building up to encasing his parents?? Someone give him a hug 🥺🥺 (and omigosh if this does end up being where Hugo is somehow adopted into the family, just ohhhhh, him coming in at that moment is just *tears*)

And ohhhhh, I love how you slightly changed it to, if I understood right, Varian requesting that the trolls take away Hugo’s memories of his powers - ‘cause this kid is just wanting to help and Varian is scared and worried of hurting him, so he sees this as an option to protect him. (And ohhh, while the angst of him accidentally hurting Hugo with his powers is definitely wonderful, now I’m just imagining smol Varian going to the trolls and pleading for them to help and then coming to the decision to take away Hugo’s memories. Like OH MY HEART-)

And ohhh, I don’t think it’d play such a big part in the story, but as they’re both growing up, who’s acting regent at the moment? Or at least I’m just musing how things would be as they’re growing up since they were kids when Quirin and Ulla were encased (and if you don’t have any thoughts for it yet, that’s totally cool 🤗)

Ajfkakfjka Donella posing as a foreign dignitary to find the ‘magical prince’ to study is ahhhhhhhh- And then Hugo being drawn to her as the mother figure he’d always wanted and lacked for so long????? Lemme just

*sobs*

(Ajfkakdj Varian is SUCH A DORK OMIGOSH I LOVE HIM)

And omigosh, the whole dynamics between Belle and Hugo would be hilarious (“Shut up Belle” while she’s laughing yessss) Also snow/ice Ruddiger is absolutely adorable ahhhhh!

Hnnnnnngggg First Time I’m Forever Reprise and Hugo believing that Donella could break the spell (and ahhhhhh, I can just barely imagine how that monologue would go down - how she was never there for him, why would anyone want him - oh gosh, insert “More Than Just the Spare” ‘cause that’s literally how he’s feeling ahhhh - aldjgjlad even more so especially if he was adopted/taken in because he’ll feel even more isolated after all of this had happened, which is another reason why he was drawn to Donella in the first place)

And then cue Cinn’s art where Hugo sacrifices himself for Varian and we’re here to see all of the tears and sobbing and feels akfjakfjaj

BUT OMIGOSH I FREAKING LOVE THIS - Varian and all of his issues in confidence and his struggle to overcome it, Hugo and his issues in wanting to feel loved from having been pushed away for so long, you mentioned Belle was hardened so I’m excited to see her soften up ajfkakdj, and then DONELLA HECK YEAH - I was not expecting the route you took but I love it so much that it gave me chills ahhhhhh.

Wonder how Quirin and Ulla react to all of this once they get out ‘cause they’ve all grown so much and their kingdom as well

I freaking love this AU and the angst lord in me, while quite enjoying the soft and the fluff, is grinning quite malevolently at the angsty scenes hehehehehe, but seriously, this is AWESOME 😱