#im sobbing the zero effort put into this

[galakteon]

don’t you hate it when you accidentally draw someone you can’t stand

[luvlunajpg]

Insecurities

♡ pairing: johnnie x Plus size female reader

♡ summary: You caught johnnie doing something unexpected which ends up in losing your virginity

♡ classification: fluff and smut

♥︎ anon note: hey guys! Luna here ( ^ω^ )

This fanfic was requested by a fellow reader from my previous fanfic. This was a challenge for me as insecurities comes in many forms and i fear that i would trigger any of my beautiful johnnie girlies out there :( . I sincerely apologise if there is any part of the story triggered you or made you feel like its not accurate to what body insecurities actually feels like. Some people go through insecurities differently and i really want you to know that no matter how different we are, everyone is beautiful periodt. I love you guys so much! Thank you for the love and support on my previous fanfic.

XOXO Luna ♥︎

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆

You and Johnnie have been dating for awhile and today just happens to be your anniversary with him. Since Johnnie is busy streaming, you suggest that the both of you to stay at home to watch movies and cuddle the whole night. You and johnnie were never the kind of couple to celebrate publicly. Both of you prefer to just spend time with eachother at home where you and johnnie can have more privacy.

You prepare the blankets, pillows and picked up the delivered food at your doorstep. After preparing for the night you giggled at the set up and took a picture to post it on social media. After admiring your efforts, you head over to Johnnie’s office to peek on his progress on the livestream. As you were few steps closer to his office, your heart immediately sank hearing your boyfriends moans and groans through the door. Your brain was flooded with all kinds of scenarios. Was he lying? What is he doing? Is he facetiming another girl? Why is he moaning like that? Why would he do that during a livestream?

You spare no time and immediately slammed the door open. Johnnie gasped and threw his phone across the room and tries his best to hide his boner. You were in tears, your heart broke into a million pieces, you couldn’t stop sobbing and soon enough you fell to your knees in front of him.

“Noo.. baby please.. i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ johnnie got cut off by sharp slap across his face

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD CHEAT ON ME ON OUR ANNIVERSARY JOHNNIE HOW COULD YOU!” You cried to your hands feeling your heart crumble even more hearing him apologise. Johnnie sigh and grab his phone to show you a picture of yourself in a skirt and heart garter suspenders. That picture was posted this morning as you just put that outfit together for an upcoming concert next week.

“I was masturbating ok… Im sorry Y/N you look so hot in that outfit i couldn’t help myself. I know how you feel towards sex and i respect that but i just can’t help myself. I’m- i’m so sorry Y/N..” johnnie sighs in disappointment.

He cups your face before breaking down into tears, leaving you more heartbroken than before. You’ve always told Johnnie how insecure you are with your body which made you never want to lose your virginity anytime soon. You have always been on the plus size side ever since High school, you have never had a boyfriend and Johnnie just so happens to love you just the way you are. But you were not ready because you were afraid of the way Johnnie would see you afterwards. You have zero experience in sex and you’re also insecure on how you would look like during sex. After seeing your boyfriend sob on your thighs, you start to realise how Johnnie is more than perfect to be the one to be your first. He has been accepting your flaws since day one and still continue to accept it until now.

“Johnnie.. i’m ready.” You lift johnnie’s head to meet his teary blue eyes.

“No baby please, i don’t want to force you. I want you to be sincerely ready.” Johnnie shook his head and holds your hand tight.

“I would never want to lose it to anyone else Johnnie Guilbert. I want you to be my first.” You smiled at him to assure him that you really wanted this. Johnnie pecks your forehead and tells you to get yourself ready so that you are more comfortable. You nodded in response before heading out to shave, shower and wear an outfit that was meant for Johnnie only. A black bra and the same miniskirt and garter suspenders that was in the post. After looking at yourself in the mirror for one last time you head to you and Johnnie’s shared bedroom only to see the room being dim and a few rose petals sprinkled on the bed.

“You like it..? I want it to be more romantic for us.” Johnnie asks as he wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you from the back. You turned around and kissed Johnnie on the lips feeling his lip ring brushing against your lips

“Its perfect my love” you stroke Johnnie’s cheeks as he admires your outfit. He bit his lips admiring you from head to toe as he lightly pushes you on the bed. He strips himself leaving him with only his boxers and continue to kiss you passionately. Your tongues are wrestling in eachothers mouth as Johnnie unclasp your bra exposing your nipple piercing

“Holy fuck Y/N…” johnnie groans as that is his first time seeing them. You immediately got embarrassed and covered your boobs, feeling your face heat up every second. “Hey baby.. its okay. They’re so beautiful. Can’t wait to feel them against my tongue” Johnnie assures as he slowly removes your hands pinning them above your head as he licks the tip of your nipples gently before swirling them around in his mouth. You were a moaning mess, it felt so good you threw your head back on the bed. Johnnie moves on from your nipples and leaves a trail of kisses from your chest all the way to your belly. He removes every last bit of your clothing leaving you naked infront of him, johnnie steps back abit to see his beautiful naked girlfriend laying down infront of him. You felt your insecurities rising from the tip of your toes to the roots of your hair, you immediately sit up and covered your body as your face turns red again.

Johnnie smiles in awe as he removes your hands from your body kissing every part he touches.

“Baby you’re so beautiful… don’t cover up. I love you so so much, the wait was so worth it my love” johnnie says as he leaves kisses from your face all the way to your entrance.

He licks his lips before dragging his tongue on your entrance causing you to moan and grip onto his hair. Johnnie smoothly licks your folds as his thumb massages your clit leaving you a moaning mess under his touch. As you grew wetter, johnnie removes his boxers pressing his hard length against your wetness. He gives you a peck on the nose before pushing himself slowly into you causing you to groan as you feel your walls stretch around his dick. Johnnie gives you time to adjust as he never stops giving you kisses on your neck and face, he holds your hand tight to give you more support. You nodded to assure him to continue, johnnie nods back in response thrusting slowly in and out of you leaving him a groaning mess.

“Fuck! Y/n you’re so tight” Johnnie moaned out as his thrusts are getting faster and harder, but not hard enough for you to feel pain. You were moaning against johnnie’s chest as you feel yourself coming close.

“Fuck johnnie! I’m going to-“ your sentence got cut off as you squeal and cum all over Johnnie’s big length. Seconds later Johnnie pulls out and cum all over the bedsheet as he rolls his eyes to the back before plopping himself down onto the empty spot beside you. After the both of you catch your breaths you wrap your arms around johnnie’s chest cuddling into his skin.

“happy anniversary my beautiful queen” johnnie says as he kisses your head before heading to sleep with you.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ ༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚ ༘˚⋆ ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

[xx-cringe-factory-xx]

Im bored so I am once again talking about stuff I barely understand\d and Im too scared to talk to the hs discord cause it feels like others make me uncomfy cause their fixed morals and actual ability to understand and explain things better than me lmao.

How I see my class and aspect as a thief of void

(alos may talk about lunar sway (mine is prospit leaning), read to find out!!)

woah okay sooo im gonna start with aspect cause that's easier for me to understand and explain why i think it's litterally me.

the voidy stuff!

so the only ways Ive seen void explained is "confusion, unaware, subjectivity" and vague stuff like that whish uh, yeah it's right ig, both light and void are based around their own understanding of things. but it feels like others focus too much on that. void players tend to be confident in what they do understand(or at least I am), even if it may not be a lot or very useful.

cannon examples being: equius with robots, roxy with actually quite a bit(others relationships, the window things, ect.) uhh cant remember any void players lmfao,

also another thing people tend to ignore is that they are hard to understand/ make sense of. once again with equius just overall being veiwed as "oh no, its THAT guy" and roxy just cannonically being imposible to explain/read by dirk. also he never even asked??? so that's part of the issue people dont just ask, most void players would just answer if people asked. like dude??? we dont fucking hide how we feel, its just that others dont even like, put in effort to know. alsowhile im kinda on a tangent about how people dont ask, void players are kinda like "dont ask, dont tell." (haha refference to homophobia) unless they see it as important or relavant. I alos just dont have a lot of oppinions on things that do actually affect me, but that is prolly jsut more of a me thing than void as a whole.

(btw, I am going to take a quick break to go pee before I get into my class, and I will not reread this till after I post it, so I may think of things I wanna change or add, which means i will prolly just be reblogging it everytime i think of somethign knew lmfao)

uh Thevft thievery and tax fraud

(my laptop is overheating slightly, i only have three tabs open)

okay quick thing on why Im not a witch and why I think online quizes keep forcing that apon me with some random ass aspect (THE ASPECT CHANGES ALMOST EVERY TIME :SOB: )

witches tend to not understand that they're doing something wrong/ they just see that what they're doing MIGHT help them, so they do it. they over all do their best to do what they think makes sense without like trying to explain why it makes sense ig(?) witches also dont seem to have many strong oppinions on others outside of every one of their friends is the best, or every one else is either unimportant and does not matter enough to even CONSIDER taking into account when coming up with a possibly confusing plan. while thief's tend to get ahead of themselves they do understand that a complicated plan can go wrong WAY more than a simple one, arvhams razor or whatever.

as explained in the silly brochure thingy that i have spent too much time rereading (lnked on the masterlist thing for classpecting posts in pinned thingy) thief's are also working on higher stakes. focused on an end goal instead of the specifics of what leads us there. which unfortunately leads us to completely ignoring why and who we might've hurt to get us to the end goal. also in the brochure thing it mentioned how thief's work against what they think is how society works (?) (meenah wanting to live on a moon cause of reasons I cant remember, and vriska just in general viewing people as just boring or unimportant) for a thief, theirs them and then theirs everyone else with zero overlap. when a thief get's to close to being like their perception of everyone else they force themselves out of it so it becomes a weird cycle of "woah these people are great" and "these people are making me soft, uhoh gotta fix that"

when in relation to my lunar sway, I'm a prospitian. (woagh) which yikes black and white thinking, and I think i fucking need a good reason for doing things. or at least a reason I think is good. lmao

prospit theif of void(conclusion??)

all together I tend to get uncomfy with people actually understanding and being set on things ESSPECIALLY MORALS. i overall view most people as more mature than me. as in they understand what they view as bad. I like philosophy and the open ended questions that come with it. I'm not really attached to any specific religion or ideas. I do like absurdism on solipsism though. subjectivity is a huge thing for me, it's just that others usually are super strict on what they see as real or true. honestly my only rules/morals for myself are dont hurt others unless it's necessary, and anything is okay as long as you feel good about it and arent ACTUALLY hurting others (as in fuck around and find out, BUT DO NOT ACTUALLY TOUCH OR INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO TOUCH REAL KIDS OR ANIMALS YOU SICKF UCK)

anyways uh yeah im a theif of void, i am making all of thisup based on a game thing that didnt even explain it properly in the og webcomic.

I love you (/??) bye

[muffindaddystyles]

Will mafia!h and Y/N will have babies? 🥺💓

IM SO SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS BESTIE BUT.... </3

39. " I'm not saying a goodbye."

It was raining. Skies a gloomy shade of cinereal. Harry’s sleek car came to a screeching halt infront of the vast threshold of his home -- his grin pearlish, eyes twinkling a spark as he gets out of the car not caring to close the door behind. He greets his staff and strides two steps together with a gorgeous bunch of his lovie’s favourite flowers now dewy with raindrops and his nose twitched upon sniffing the vanilla-y smell while passing the kitchen and with his beam never vanishing he leaned into the doorframe asking the people inside, “’Ave y'seen Y/N?” Only for them to shake their heads in uncertainty.

She hasn’t showed herself downstairs since morning and even though it’s very odd of her not to chirp around the mansion nobody went to knock at her door to inquire, they think she deserves privacy.

This time they should have because when Harry barged inside their room it was caliginous with curtains shut and lights dimmed to zero.

“Lovie?” His cheery voice clamoured against the walls, a sour feeling he couldn’t be aware of pinches him in throat as he bobbed his head around to look for her and it perked up when a shadow falls on his feet.

“Baby?” His smile quirked back onto his confused features and he narrowed his eyelids to take in her presence through the darkness of wardrobe, “Harry.” A shaky whisper floated towards him and before that sweet call she was falling against his chest.

“Y/N ... baby —-,” His stumped chuckle halted, his brain numbed for a moment when his fingertips brushed up her back to push her closer to him and they trembled as they collected the wetness there. His heart bleaks a stinging pain into it’s cords, his breath shuddered coldly, flowers falling sadly beside their feet and his eyes earths with tears of panic, angst and torment.

His fingertips coating in his love's thick blood.

“I –- ‘m .. you –.. you’re h-hu —- hurt,” He stammered through a whimper hand wrapping around the dagger whose half end’s stabbed into Y/N's spine, her weak frail body unresponsive though she could listen to him.

“Who did this to you! Who did this to you!?” His screams and cries startled everyone downstairs and they rushed up to see what’s happening, to be shocked by their sights of Y/N limp in Harry’s embrace.

He turned his neck to shout at them, “I need a hand t’help me!!” His eyes bloodshot and Niall his best-man scurried over to them as Harry carried Y/N and laid her on her tummy on the bed, he slips onto his knees putting his chin on the mattress to look in her hazy painful eyes -- tears caged in them but never flowing down.

“Harry ...” She mumbled grittily in agony lifting her shaky fingers to pet his face and like an affection starved kitten Harry doesn’t let her tire herself and gets closer to her himself, “Niall bring the first aid, it’s under the sink.” He commands him not letting his eyes drift from over her angelic face.

“You’re okay baby. You’re okay, I know how to stitch up knife wounds.” He sniffled sucking in a breath trying to be brave for her and she just smiled gorgeously, lips blue and cheeks draining out of her usual berry stain.

“Jesus. Harry she’s been stabbed thrice, those fuckers,” Niall’s words wavered in fear and sympathy for Y/N. He squeezed Harry’s shoulder as Harry sobbed upon hearing that, “No –-... no, no! It’s still okay yeah poppet? I’m g’na get y'alright.” He wanted to covers his eyes to block the hurting groans Y/N elicited and he cradled her soft face in his warm palms in comparison to her temperature, touching their temples to pray together.

“Harry li .. listen to —- to me,” She gasps eyes flittering over his shoulder towards Bambi and Thumper the two dogs that had gotten overly fond of her, Harry’s blurry gaze follows her enfeebled gesture for them to come near her.

They whined and howled sadly flopping beside Harry and Harry hiccupped into his elbow shaking his head when Y/N put her hand under their ears in effort to scratch them but wasn’t able to unfortunately, “Hi babies. You’re gonna look after dad after ‘m gone?” Everyone cried at that watching her soul leave their dull lives that watered colourful upon her arrival.

“Don’t say that! Don’t y'dare say that!” Harry sobbed rushing to hug her tightly, the front of his shirt loathing crimson and she hissed looping her arm against his neck when Niall pulled the dagger out from her lower spine gradually and slowly not to hurt her.

“’M so sorry baby, sorry for being the reason of y’pain.” His tears dampened her already sweaty crook of neck, “Pr – promise me t-that that you’ll have some —.. someone who lov‐-.. loves –--,” She whimpered. Her body jerked into him with a force and she pushed him weakly away to stitch her lips tenderly against his's.

“Tell me bubby. Ha—- have I loved y'enough?” She cooed into their kiss and Harry bolted his eyes shut, poisonous sobs wrecking out of his chest.

“Tell me before, I go ...” Her heartbeat started dropping insanely, her lips wobbled, toes curling with life excavating out of her, “Y'have. Y'have don’t go baby, I’m not saying a goodbye!” He cried showering her in kisses for the one last time and pets her hair, eyes closed praying she takes him with herself because he'd never recover from the pain of loosing the only person he loved more than himself, the person who made hum love himself.

“I love you ..” She whispered, her loving kind eyes locked against his’s and the pool of honey around her rims expanded, her lips parted around the gasping breaths and Harry begged and pleaded — a side of him no-one has ever witnessed as he twisted in anguish considering himself the unluckiest man on the earth for letting his lover go like this, in the worst possible way.

“I love you, I thought I’d never be capable of, y'made me worthy darling. I'll always love you baby....” He shrieked into her chest heaving her up gently to embrace her properly and even though he knew she was no more with him, he fooled himself into thinking so.

If it was possible he’d have clawed his ribs to pluck out his heart in return of hers and he felt like the sun and earth had crashed vanishing away the time spaces as he sat there crying and crying mourning the loss of his lovie that could never be healed by anything in this whole word.

He keeps on holding her, rocking back and forth as he lulls her to slumber of death.

It hurts. It hurts so bad.

His heart weeps.

His soul aches.

When rain stopped and that tranquil silence doomed over them, rage filled his every pore and vein.

He knew who did this. Harry has played dirty but he has never played unfair. It was this gang of companies who sabotaged and destructed the orphanages at the property which belonged to his mother (but the papers weren’t clear) to build restaurants and apartments there so Harry took revenge by burning acres of their illegal drug running underground factory and rebuilt the orphanages and took Y/N to one of their charity events.

She was the happiest he had ever seen her.

It’s like a gun barrel clicked in. A firecracker catching the fuse of ashe to burst everything into flames as Harry laid her with ever most tenderness and kissed her temple, her lifeless eyelids and her chapped lips.

Cleaned the streak of blood with his sleeve and didn’t wipe his tears away bashing out of the room, everyone stepped away as Niall lunged infront of him to stop him before he goes to cause damage to himself more than to them for being in such a vulnerable and weak state.

“Step away.” He growled angrily, gaze fiery and dangerous.

“No.” Niall sighed.

“I wouldn’t get her buried in sucha cold blood. She didn’t deserved this, hell nobody does.” Harry kissed his teeth together gripping at his hair ruthlessly, cheeks dry with tears, his limbs trembling, his head spinning.

“Anyone who wouldn’t follow my orders gets their kneecaps blow-off.” He grunted -- nostrils flaring and saying this he went away, snatching his guns from the console and ordered his men to find the security guards that had their duties at the main gates.

In just a day he hunted each of those monsters down like a hungry wolf and gave them such punished, tortured deaths that each one fell in Harry’s feet for his mercy but his heart was turned into a stone already because the only warmth it had there was because of one person and that person’s gone leaving him to survive in this hellhole alone while he dragged these bastards to the depths of firepits.

Once, coming back home to her. To his sunshine, to his soul and life, to his reasons of getting up every morning so he would get to spend time with her —- he broke down. Into shattered bits and pieces of remorse, guilt and sadness feeling himself so small and hurtable as he cried to himself all alone in their garden with no-one to console him where he’ll come to meet her daily.

He wants to rip his skin apart and set it on fire for his beating heart to stop, for it stop feeling.

He feels sick. Fainting, in urgency and desperation to hold his baby and never let go.

To lay down with her under the soil if that's possible.

his only reason to live.

His only beloved.

.

The wind giggles through pink leaves of cherry blossom tree, lush grass resting peacefully and Harry smiles to himself treading towards his two most favourite people in the world.

The spring being their heartiest month.

“Azalea! What y’chattering ‘bout t'mum?” He asks and nods proudly when his lil boy stands up from his cross position on the ground from beside his mother and brushes the grassy spikes from his cherry printed shorts with his little pudgy hands.

“My first day at school dada!” The four years old squeals and Harry scoops him up in his arms, kissing his cheek again amount less times, “Is that so, huh! huh!” He tickles his little bun.

Y/N was right. Isn’t she always. Harry chuckles. Even if she’s gone he still feels loved from her, she’s in the rains, in the sweaters he wears when he feels shallow, in the scent of his pillows, she’s in the vanilla smell of their favourite cupcakes – she’s in his dreams and that name of their son, Azalea.

She always wanted to name their first born Azalea, a blooming flower that happens to be a vibrant pink, a gift of spring, are floriferous in sunshine and she'd always say that Harry would be their sun.

Their ever source of happiness.

Azalea was three days old when his mother died and Harry took him home even though not sure of his own decision but something in those little eyes that matches his mommy made Harry’s heart attract towards him so much he brought him without another thought.

A home he built with Y/N. The curtains of the mansion still remains pushed back wide, flower vases on every furniture, not a day goes by when anyone doesn’t misses her and the ducklings has grown so much that Y/N would have been spinning in happiness around.

Nothing has changed, life’s fleeting for everyone except for Harry. He counts each day and night that goes without her beside him in his sleep, in the little picnics with Azalea and Niall, in the story reading at nights with his baby, in kitchen to watch the winters first rain prattling against that one window that’s old enough to carry the remains of his ancestors, she’s never there to share a noodle pot with him while he sits and eat alone, never there to patch his favourite socks back, to kiss his forehead whenever he leaves home, to call him sweet names and to laugh with him on his silly jokes, to do thumb fights, to get angry with him whenever he refuses to layer himself in cold.

Never.

Never physically. But, she’s always there in his heart, her presence lurks around him and he could feel the warmth of her wrapping around him whenever he falls asleep watching telly.

“What did y'learn today bubba?” He asks Azalea and grins cheekily when Azalea babbles, “Colours!”

“That’s fuckin’ amazin'!” At that a huge gush of breeze hits him in face a tiny branch of the tree they’re standing under falls on his head.

“Kay' kay fine! No cursing.” He squeaks in defence pouting down at the grave of his lovie and his face splits into a grin when his hair glittered up with cherry blossom leaves.

“We miss you very much,” His voice heavy and sad. He gulps chokingly and blinks away the glossiness, stroking a thumb up Azalea cheek who’s sitting in Harry’s lap.

Every evening they come to meet Y/N, the hole in his heart couldn’t fill up of her void but the soothing feeling of relief that she’s in their garden and nearer to him has lessened the grief.

“G’na meet you tomorrow, our baby’s mighty hungry.” He chuckles hearing the grumbling noises coming from Azalea’s belly.

“You’re so cheeky baby.” His eyes glimmers and he feels himself swooning into breeze, “How’s it going in heaven?” He asks airily tracing his initials beside her beautiful name engraved at the tombstone and it’s like she’s scolding him when he gets a nip on his pointy finger.

“Azalea kiss mommy a goodbye.” Harry breaks into laughter when Azalea bobs his head and almost tumbles of his daddy’s lap in the effort to reach the tombstone.

“Goodbye beautiful.” Harry whispers kissing the top of her tombstone and his heart bursts into lilacs when once again he’s showered into petal like leaves.

“I love you too, baby.” Finally he has accepted to say goodbyes.

[gunsatthaphan]

I think I’m the only one but I still don’t believe Jiwoo is being truthful about not wanting to be with Seojoon lol. Maybe I’m just hurting myself but all the little clues about his parents and telling Seojoon not to get too close to the villagers and what not are intriguing me. Also I’m like 95% sure the ring was under Jiwoo’s pillow in the bed scene. There was a flash of metal that seemed very intentional. Regardless, I think these episodes were the last straw for Seojoon and he’s gonna go back to Seoul and stay there, so we’ll see if Jiwoo is able to chase him. I know other people don’t want them back together at all at this point, but I have a high tolerance for fictional bullshit bc I’m fine with stories being more dramatic than real life should ever be, but Im still gonna need Jiwoo to put in the effort now if they get back together. I don’t think that Seojoon can keep chasing him any longer, it wouldn’t work with the narrative.

well yeah it looks like this was the last straw for seojoon and guess what it was mine too lmao. I'm done. I'm probably still gonna finish it with one eye bc I hate dropping stuff but after these episodes I have lost all will to watch. rip. everything about this is so much more brutal and ruthless than it needs to be and I don’t think I’m supposed to be getting psycho-thriller vibes from something that had such a lovely and enjoyable prequel. 

I'm so tired of jiwoo and his bullshit and I'm tired of not understanding anything he says or does. I thought that maybe by now we would have at least a hint of why he's acting the way he is but we don't. Or at least I don’t. I have zero understanding for his behavior and I have zero understanding for why seojoon is still going after him. He deserves so much better. 

and even if he goes back to seoul and jiwoo goes after him and shows up at his door sobbing and apologizing on all fours I won't be able to forgive him and neither should seojoon. period. 🤷🏼‍♀️

xxx

[thesolotomyhan]

narcos méxico: first date hc

ok sooo,, I am genuinely lost haha   i also just want to say im sorry for being so slow to get content out for you lovely's and if this is trash :(,,,, and a big thank you to @fandomnerd16 for the idea! 💖 basically what does the first date include with them!  i-im just going to leave this here, let me know what you guys think so far??? 

Tags: @fandomnerd16​ , @visintaes​ , @sheeshgivemeabreak​

Ramon:

Imagining the first date with ramon and how soft it would be has me cryinggg

he cant help but show his soft kid side with you-

you’re just different, he wants to show you he’s really capable of loving and being himself for you,

and that he has a whole other side to him that he reserves and that he’s willing to wholeheartedly show you,,,

can you imagine this man taking you to a carnival/fair for your first date?

just being surrounded by food, games, rides and just pure bliss and happiness ??? yes

like,just the both of you walking around, holding hands, zero fucking awkwardness between you two as he excitedly leads you around, to each booth possible,,

he’ll tug you along to like those water gun stands or the pop the balloon stands and challenge to do competitions with you-

“Que dices? te apuesto un beso que no me ganas en la pistolas de agua, muñeca”-

like, its hella cheesy and cheap how he’s asking to kiss you but it only makes you want to beat him to have him at least work for it,,

the happy v i b es im getting has me sobbing-

just,, the way both of your laughs echo into the air because neither of you want to lose and your just so happy to be around one another right now,,,

i cant- imagine him looking over at you and giving you the most softest look in the middle of your water gun competition when you tell him he’s losing to you, i cant

he would purposely let you win more than 50 percent of the games just to see you throw your arms in the air and laugh up to him that you beat him-

the proud ass smile he gives you as he’ll like twirl you around to pump you up even more, fuck, just why

ok, so you know that one hammer strength game they have at those fairs, where you test your strength and shit, yeah ramon would immediately drag you over to one just to show off his strength and win you the big ass stuffed monkey they have for the winner,,

just- the little fucking grin he has when he hears the puck ring the bell on the first try as he looks over at you, cheering him on-

ramon winning all the giant stuffed animals for you would be his goal alright,,

Especially after the way he saw how happy you got with the monkey he won for you at the hammer strength booth,,,

just filling your overflowing arms with big ass teddy bears and tigers,, the excitement never leaving your eyes as he brings you animal after animal has his heart melting,,

omg, the thought of you and ramon acting like teenagers while feeding each other food has me soft

like, instead of eating the bag of popcorn, your both trying to throw it into each others mouths and just making a mess everywhere-

your uncontrollable laughs making it harder for you both to throw the popcorn,,,

but the cute ass celebration you both would do when you successfully catch them is everything--

i, him buying you a churro while you both just walk around and he’ll lean over to bite it when you look away to see something, so when you turn back, the churros halfway fucking gone,, you’ll playfully hit his chest as you both giggle to each other-

or you’ll both be sharing a bag of cotton candy, feeding it to one another, giving the biggest smiles you can,, i cant handle this-

the two of you end up losing so much track of time together that when the inevitable end of your date comes, your both lowkey hiding your sadness,

so ramon would pull you along to the ferris wheel just for one more adventure to end the day right-

IM SO SOFT, everything is just so calm as you lean your head on his shoulder as you both look at the carnival lights illuminating the fair

the gentle fucking kiss he’ll give you on top of your head as he pulls you closer into him, i-

Benjamin:

benjamin’s first date with you has me in my feelingss

just the way he’s pouring his soul and heart into wanting to surprise you and show you how romántico he can be, I-

he would probably invite you to his home for your first date,, where he would want to have total peace and quiet for you and him, my intimate bby 

he just wants his attention to be devoted to you, not anyone else :)

benjamin would put so much effort into the decorations too,,, snapping his fingers where all the flowers need to go, where to hang the balloons and where all the lights need to go-

ordering the chef he contracted to make your favorite food and dessert,, and even low key threatening the chef that if he fucks this up, he’s not seeing the light of tomorrow

Stress level to the max honestly, he just needs to make this perfect for you i cant-

but i know my bby is so good at time management,, he has this all done an hour before you show up, giving him time to breathe and just take in his work, adjusting any small detail he deems imperfect before changing into his clothes he bought for this specific occasion, :(

he would probably wait for you outside with some chocolatitos, all dressed up :(( , trying to stop his nerves when he sees the car he sent for you start to pull in

fuck, the big smile that he shows you when he sees you all dolled up- youre more beautiful than he remembers, my heart

“te vez radiante” as he kisses your cheek because hes a respectoso king

i see him being to fucking well mannered i cant,, he helps you get out of the car, offering his arm to lead you inside where everything is set up, helping you sit down and all that adorableness

he would be internally congratulating himself when he sees you smiling at all the decorations and the food being served in front of you-

just, him asking all about your day, sharing stories with the occasional shared laughs

him also asking if you enjoyed everything and if he needs to fix anything to your liking and just,,, the way you reach across the table to hold his hand and assure him that he went overtop for you would have him beaming heart eyes at you-

Benjamin makes this feel so fucking romantic and comfortable i cant

like you two would spend so much time talking about everything with each other even after you finish all the food,,,

fuck,, the way he’ll progressively scoot closer to you through the night, never letting go of your hand after you held it the first time-

like you both don’t even notice how close you are until your both throwing your heads back when you laugh and then looking at each other

and just that soft moment where you both stare into each other’s eyes and glance down at your lips— oohohh

the both of you just click so right, everything leads up to this point naturally,,,

You two are so fucking innocent that the first kiss would be the softest shit ever, its sincero and lleno de amor, i-

its one of those kisses that are followed by soft giggles and pecks, one after another until he pulls you into his side because he’s just overfilled with emotions-

and just the way neither of you want to leave the comfortable silence as you both glance at each other-

i cant,, in his mind he’ll be thinking yeah, this is the one, la cual con que quiero compartir mi futuro-

[exhoe-imagines]

Since I am in the midst of wedding planning, would love to hear what you guys think each of the EXO boys' wedding would turn out like (assuming their partners give them total control 😂)! But also an important lesson I learned: social distancing doesn't stop people from reaching out virtually to you so me time became so much more essential these days!!

teehee we’re still so excited for your wedding 🥺🥺🥺 and we had a lot of fun discussing this crackhead shit LOL – also you’re SO right. texting is suddenly blowing up and i’m like “time to check out” JKDSJFAKWE

minseok ✧ i feel like he’s a great middle ground. he’ll keep you sane and handle the stuff that you don’t have time for, he’ll give valid and real comments, but won’t be controlling. it’s very much a team effort. unless you want like a candy bar or something bc “darling, that’s a little out there.” and you’re like minseok, have some FUN. live your best LIFE. but it’s ok bc he’ll get you everything you want as a surprise and you’ll cry like “omg” and he’ll just PREEN bc YES he IS the greatest husband 😌

luhan ✧ im sorry you’re giving HIM control? u want him to go into CARDIAC ARREST??? if you want your wedding to take place in a shack with 6 people attending, then sure, by all means, give lu control. but if not, please for the love of GOD do not ask him. he’ll put in comments every now and then (for cake flavors definitely or like. his tie color or some shit like that) but if you ask him to pick between maroon and rhubarb he’ll ERROR 404: LUHAN IS NOT RESPONDING. and just stand there like a mannuquein 😳😳😳

yifan ✧ oh christ don’t do that to him, he can only handle so much LOL. he’ll defintiely tag along for everything bc he’s clingy and he wants to see the dress/tux/whatever you pick and you’re like “it’s a surprISE YIFAN” but he does Not Care. but he doesn’t know the difference between silk or satin so he’s basically no help KAMFKSFJKE. he does pull up with the hella gaudy shit tho and you’re like “yifan you cannot have GOLD CHAINS as part of your outfit” and he’s like “but babe,, the swag” 😎

junmyeon ✧ ok myeon is the MVP. he’s like Peak Husband Material. he’s picky but sweet – makes sure you get what you want but isn’t a groomzilla u feel? like he’ll send that sickly sweet smile to the dress/tux assistant and be like “my love asked for the WHITE piece, not the IVORY, thank you :)” and they’re like “o-of course mr. kim!!” and you’re like “omg junmymeoN PLS.” but everyone loves him bc he tips well and is geniunely kind when he isn’t standing up for you LMAO 😂 

yixing ✧ ok definitely another good balance one. he’ll let you know who he wants invited, what kinda traditional things are a Must Have, etc. but he’s SO SUPPORTIVE of what you want. like you can geniunely pick ANYTHING as long as he gets his like,, two small requirements. you could walk out in a trash bag and be like “i want this” and he’d tear up like “anything you want, baobei” and drop $4k to get a gucci plastic bag. deadass. and god he CRIES at the wedding bc you do SO well and keep his wishes in mind and WOW he loves u 😭

baekhyun ✧ ok he wouldn’t do a HORRIBLE job if you gave him all the control -- who am i kidding. your wedding would end up looking like a frat party. however, he do got POPPIN ideas. he will be zero help for the vital shit, but if you want some crazy shit, he’s the man. he’ll be like “ok babe don’t be mad -- i forgot to book the venue BUT i found a tiny dog tux for Mongryong so he can be our ring bearer what do you think!!” and for a moment you consider what it would be like to live in widowhood ☠️

jongdae ✧ the PICKIEST motherfucker. ik i mentioned that in the drabble i wrote you, but like i am SERIOUS. you will go to like twelve bakeries before he finally settles on some BASIC ASS FLAVOR like vanilla and you’re like “i might murder you.” but he makes sure you’re picky too so you get EXACTLY what you want and the day of, when everything is set you’re like Hol Up. this do be poppin. it’s everything you dreamed of and you DO be having to thank jongdae for his brattiness after all 😪

chanyeol ✧ honestly bold of us to assume he’d have any role in the planning bc he’s too busy teasing you over how seriously you take it all. to keep you from going crazy tho, he pulls a few pranks and you’re 🤏🏼 this close to calling off the wedding when he makes you think the decorations came in the wrong color or some shit. but on the acutal wedding day, he surprises you with a new song/dance and you realize he’s actually been taking care of something very important this whole time too ❤️

kyungsoo ✧ god you have chosen the BEST man to plan with. he’s so patient and attends EVERY appointment with you. he takes SUCH good care of you and makes sure you’re never stressed or piling too much on your plate. just a total gentleman. he’d book you a huge bridal/groom suite for the night before the wedding with white roses and all this cheesy shit and he would NEVER LIVE IT DOWN. and then when you think he can’t get any better he surpries you with a secret honeymoon trip and you’re like “god is real huh” 🙏🏼

zitao ✧ hahaha you think you GIVE him permission and he doesn’t just TAKE it? hahaha. that’s a GOOD one. prepare for the most extra reception and ceremony you have EVER seen. but don’t worry, you and tao will be the only ones who have any opinion on the planning. your friend will be like “what if you guys-” and tao’s like “did someone say something.” so by all means, tell him everything you want, bc he WILL get it for you. and on the special day he cries like a baby and you’re like AW bc u think he’s being all lovey-dovey but he’s just like “wow i did SO good” 😢

jongin ✧ wedding? did you mean an excuse for a huge party? do not, and i can not stress this enough, do NOT give him all the control. the second you do, he’s inviting every friend and family member to come help him bc he has NO CLUE what he’s doing. but it’s ok you keep them all in check and you’ll get what you want bc your manz is whipped. and when you and your wedding party get stressed, he just hands you $15k and is like “go on a shopping trip babey ily” and you’re like “maybe you’re not THAT bad, kim” 🤑🤑🤑

sehun ✧ he INSISTS on being included in every MINISCULE step. i mean EVERYTHING. and so you’re like “fine baby, what do you want?” and his mind goes blank. he truly has no opinion. no help whatsoever. you’re like “cream or ivory?” and he’s like “what’s that.” so he ends up flaking and you plan most of it – thankfully !! but when you walk down the aisle he SOBS and you’re like “ok fine you’re redeemed” 🥰

-

bro.. this was a Blast. ily and ur asks and im sorry we take 100 years to answer them MFJAKLFJEAWKGJWE - admin ruby and admin jewels

🌙 SLEEPOVER SATURDAY 🌙

[franeridart]

dude your recent demon & angel kiribaku art reminds me a little bit of aziraphale and crowley from good omens!! like aziraphale would be angrier as baku obvs but still i thought of it and it made me happy lol

A lot of people have mentioned that in the tags/under the post and that makes me!!! super happy!!!! Good Omens is one of my fav books and Crowley one of my fav characters, so the comment feels nice! I wasn’t specifically thinking about them when drawing it, but possibly a bit I was influenced anyway!! I wonder if what made everyone think about them was Kiri’s sunglasses? It’s not noticeable but I did give him glowing eyes too after all haha

Anon said:Have you ever thought about how op a TodoBakuDeku fusion would be? (if they could stay together that is lol!)

Never thought of it tbh, but at this point I’m pretty sure with a lot of work on Baku’s part they’d be able to stick together long enough! He wouldn’t find it comfortable but they’d def be one of the strongest three-people-fusions in the class - not the strongest, tho, since they all have the same sort of straightforward offensive power when it comes to their quirks, I think I could find three people who’d make a stronger fusion... Baku Kiri and Momo, for example, would be even more impressive imho! Since all their quirks cover a different field, and their minds/personalities mesh well enough to have the right amount of planning and instinctive reaction/self-preservation and safety of others/pride and self-doubt/lawfulness and chaotic acting and so on. Even just as a team, without counting them as a fusion, I think they’d make one of the most balanced ones! Compared to that putting Todo Deku and Baku in the same place is just a recipe for disaster more often than not haha

Anon said:no, i move slow, I wanna stop time, I'll sit here til I find the,, inspiration to draw,,,,,,

LMAO it’s a song about art block after all, I feel every word in it a whole damn lot hahaha

Anon said:Art block or no art block, I love everything you come up with 💜

AW HECK ANON you’re so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Mixing thei hero names? So uuuh King Riot?

We still don’t know Baku’s hero name, so anything might be, really! It’s why I didn’t outright have Kiri mention any idea, I got no clue myself where he was going with it haha it’d be cool if his hero name were Ground Zero, because it’d mix well with Red Riot imho (Red Zero or Ground Riot or Red Ground, they all sound nice!) but what if Baku’s hero name ends up just being Katsuki, after all? How do you mix that with Red Riot? (the answer is Red Victory, or Akatsu!! from akai (red) + katsu !! ngl I’ve thought about this a lot lmao) anyway so many possibilities so little known facts!

Anon said:I love the details on Kiri and Baku's skin. Great job!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!!!!! fran oh my god your zine piece is so beautiful!!!!!!!

Sob thank youuu!!!! I’m glad you liked it!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got my zine and the art and writing was so lovely, i loved your comic at the end. an amazing way to end the zine♡

THANK YOU!!!! I’m jelly, I still haven’t gotten mine ;O; I hope the comic was easy to read even in printed form, I’ve been worried about that for months hahaha rip at least there’s the pdf

Anon said: i’m in love with your kiri bday art!!!! with the colorless art like that, are we allowed to color it? of course no posting it, but just for fun.

If you promise not to post it, I’m cool with it! Thank you for liking it enough to want to do that!!! Seriously tho don’t post it if you do

Anon said:Can you draw more kamisero? g u d q u a l i t y s h i p ma' dude.

Maybe? Currently it really isn’t between my top priorities but who knows

Anon said:FRANNNNN!!!! Your comic for the Take My Hand zine!!!! I'm gonna cry! It's so beautiful and the boys are so perfect! Your art is so amazing, I was so thrilled to see your piece. Not to mention the detail you put in. Their hands killed me! With Bakugou's palms and Kiri's arms! Ugh, I just can't, I love it so much.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE HANDS it’s weird bc that one panel is probably my fav in the comic and I was so sure no one was gonna really notice it but!! So many people did!!!!! It makes me so happy oh man ;O;

Anon said:Hey coulda maybe make a traitor Kaminari comic?

Nope! No traitor arts here, sorry! SInce I don’t believe any of the theories to the point of finding them outright laughable, any art I could ever make about it would just come out looking either fake or ridiculous and no one wants to see that lmao

Anon said:your take my hand comic!!! it's so good!! thank you for doing the boys so well ;;;

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I don't know if you remember, but a couple months ago I asked if it'd be okay for me to write something based on a few of your art pieces. Would that still be alright? Your art is gorgeous and makes my brain think and brings joy to me all the time ^^ would absolutely link to the art and credit you. that's not even a question :)

That still depends on which art you’re specifically talking about! And thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you read fan fiction, but I have one to suggest to you! It’s called, “It’s Obvious When You Lie”. Only three chapters are out so far, but it’s really good!

I’ll add it to my marked for later list then!! Thank you so much for the rec, I don’t easily try out ongoing fics so this was very nice of u!!!

Anon said:In the body switch AU Todoroki sees how fucked up Midoriya feels around Bakugou('s body?) and realizes wow fuck this guy has traumatized my bf. I wonder what I can do to fuck w/ him so the day before they switch back (So Bakugou can't do much in retaliation) he takes Bakugou's body and does the stupidest bullshit ever as revenge

HECK anon sorry but nothing like this would happen ever as long as I’m the one writing the AU! For three main reasons! One, I don’t think Deku is traumatized at all! His relationship with Baku at the moment is actually pretty damn neat and on equal footing, you go you two, growing so much!! Two, Baku and Todo are friends!!! And Todo would never be a dick to Baku instead of just talking to him, if he had a problem with him!! Three, even if one and two weren’t true, Deku has no need for knights in shining armor fighting his battles for him!! He’s a strong independent boy and if he hasn’t fought Baku over this it’s probs cause he doesn’t want anyone to fight him over it!!! Also in this specific AU Todo and Deku aren’t dating, so the scenario doesn’t work for me! Sorry!

Anon said:Have you ever thought about krbk wedding?

I have! And I’ve talked about it on here a few times too! Lately I’ve been thinking about it again tho, from a designs point of view, because!! There’s that very neat post going around tumblr about that wedding photos in which one of the two grooms has a white tux with a cape, and I’ve been thinking about a variation of it for Kirishima’s wedding suit :0 something red instead of white, but generally similar! It’s a lot of effort to draw it so I still haven’t, but yeh!!

Anon said:Hello! I read this fic about your cat comics and the author said to send you some love in their end notes so here is some well-deserved love: your art is beautiful! It's why I became interested in BakuShima and I would not have loved these characters as much if it weren't for you. You also seem to be a very nice person, your mind is beautiful and I am glad you exist

G O DS this is such a nice ask!!!! thank you so so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Non chiedo una risposta a questo messaggio, anzi. Volevo solo dirti che trovo la tua arte FANTASTICA, e non sai quanto i tuoi comic e tutto il tuo lavoro mi ha strappato più di un sorriso in brutti momenti. Sapere che sei italiana mi ha fatto totalmente impazzire. Continua così, hai del talento vero. E grazie!

NUHHHH GRAZIE A TE PER ESSERE COSI’ GENTILE OMFG !!!!!!!!!! ;A;

Anon said:Okay okay okay! I adore your art! Could you maybe... draw some KiriBaku fantasy? If it’s not too much to ask! It can be as simple as can be! Your art is just really cute!

Yes I can and yes I will!!! Definitely and in the near future, did you know one of the app games JUST revealed a fantasy wolf Baku as a special halloween chara?? It’s just fantasy Baku with wolf ears and tail, but he’s adorable and I’ve been wanting to draw him since I saw him this morning ;O; so cute!

Anon said:Pssst. Singer Baku, Guitarist Kami, and Drummer Kiri. A good hc if I do say so myself.

It IS a great thought!! Drummer Kiri and Singer Baku have always been a weakness of mine too, so heck!! What a good image! If we put Jirou on bass and vocals too and sero on keyboard and mina on guitar, you make my fav band right then and there hahaha

Anon said:I'm not in the BNHA fandom at the moment but your art still continues to give me the warm fuzzies

GODS ISN’T THIS A NICE ASK!! I’m happy I can make you enjoy even characters you’re not specifically into! Thank you so much for sticking around!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got into bnha and fell in love with your art, started going through your sketch tag, and then realize that youre the person who made a bunch of haikyuu comics i loved a while ago so im! very glad to rediscover your stuff!!

HOLY GODS THAT’S NEAT!!! Welcome back!!!! ;O;

Anon said:I love it when you draw kiri with his hair down 💕💕💕 so good, so pure 💕💕💕💕

Oh boy thank you!! ;O; he’s so much easier to draw with his hair spiked for me, knowing people like the way I draw his hair when down means a whole damn lot!! 

Anon said:Hello! First I love your account and artwork! Second will you ever be drawing Mako and Taiyou again? They are so adorable! Also Bakugou and Kirishima seems like amazing dad's!

Thank you!!! And yes I will! I have another ask around here asking about them, so maybe soon! Just gotta find the right idea to draw, I got a bunch but they’re all way too long for my curret attenton span level sadly hahaha rip

Anon said:lmaaaaooo my boi kaminari be having an emotional awakening

Kaminari is like, he’s always somewhere subconsciously known that Baku’s objectively pretty, but since he knows him so well and he’s always around him and most of the times they’re bickering and making fun of each other he’s never actually realized, so now he’s like oh, NOW I see it hahaha

Anon said:hi u probably get this enough but I wanted to give u all my appreciation for ur art thank u for sharing it with us I love everything u post ♡♡♡

THANK YOU!!!! It might be greedy of me but this sorta asks are never enough for me, so seriously thank you for taking your time to drop by and be so nice!!!

Anon said:Could you please draw more of the body swap au? Or what if a different pair of students were to switch?

I’m not gonna draw any other switch with other students, because before settling on Baku and Todo I went through a lot of possibilities and came to the conclusion that nothing would be as funny as Baku and Todo switched are (or at least nothing Horikoshi hasn’t already done himself lmao) so there’s that. I might draw more of them switched, but to be honest with you the only idea with that concept I have right now is Bakugou forgetting he’s suddenly taller and continuously walking into things around the dorms, so there’s that as well hahaha

[trips2saturn]

LONG ASK INCOMING IM SORRY; sometimes i skim the pw tag to read all the weird posts they make. and really they collectively think that ej is the best character and ricky Stole gina from him. like they actively ignore gina herself saying their break up wasnt about ricky and they just blame 'bad writing', all becaus they cant accept that sometimes relationships plainly just dont work out. "but if ej and gina just sat down and Talked! things could be solved! but noo the writers hate their show!" baby girl ej didnt WANT to sit down and talk. when he did he wanted to make it All about him! gina got sick of sitting down and talking!! she wanted a boyfriend who was there for her NOW in the PRESENT. none of this 'why cant she see that he was trying to make a future for them' bullshit. they're tEENAGERS AND GINA WANTS SOMETHING PERMANENT. NOT SOMEONE TO CONSTANTLY TELL HER THAT ONE DAY IF SHE'S PATIENT THEN THEY CAN SPEND TIME TOGETHER. it was so clear in the writing that ej was regressing while with gina and not because of bad writing but because they werent GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. THERE WAS NO PW BULIDUP EITHER THEY HAVE GOT TO STOP CLAIMING THERE WAS. it was half a fucking season. AND THEN EJ DECIDED TO DROP HER IN THE COLDEST WAY ALL BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE GOT BROTHER ZONED AND GINA HAD TO BE THE ONE TO BEG HIM TO KISS HER. pws scream about how she was crying all season because of ricky but Ignore how she was fucking sobbing because ej cancled on her with zero explanation. how convenient. its always been gina prompting ej to do things. sure gina confessed again in the finale, because she needed to but it was RICKY to kiss HER first- to not let her leave again. WHEN DID EJ EVER DO ANYTHING FOR HER FIRST. god this feels like such a chaotic ask but you're one of the like v few people in the rina tag who are very Vocal about their distaste of pw and I feel like I can just vomit up all of my anger lmao I'm so sorry

YEAHHHHHH YOU ATE THIS ONE UP ANON ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ and don’t ever feel afraid to rant about them or ej with me!!!! i dislike both that ship and that man 😁 we share common interests!

portwells are extremely incompetent and unfortunately they lack comprehension skills for reasons that i will never understand. that entire ship was fickle, and i am not afraid to say that it failed because of elton john himself. i will never speak badly on my angel gina! shooter for her since day ONE. ej ruined that whole relationship because he simply could not handle everything at once, which is okay! totally understand the whole “too many responsibilities at once” thing but still it’s entirely his fault. it’s already over anyway, we got our endgame, plus that man is a college freshman and absolutely old as hell — even gi realized that lmao. that relationship should’ve never happened in the first place. what’s funny about portwells is that they ALWAYS choose ej to defend at the end of the day, and never gina. it’s as if they want to see her fail, like i’ve even seen some go as far as to attack SOFIA over a fictional ass ship?! the insanity is beyond me.

they love to say that gina didn’t put enough effort into the relationship from the start and that she only used him as bait to get ricky WHEN THAT WAS NEVER THE CASE? like who made that theory up? get serious before i say something disrespectful. it was ej from the very beginning who didn’t try and put their relationship on the back burner so they can take their misogynistic asses and that obstacle of a ship straight to the fucking curb 💀

[primalspice]

Indigo 4, 14, 17, 22, 30, 45, 60

💉

4. what one person, place, or thing do they love more than anything else?

henrietta i think. bpd: CURED. 

14. what keeps them up at night?

past mistakes, whether that come in the form of participating in psychic torture or his self destructive slut phase or forgetting to turn off the sink before he left home last week. he is very punching himself in the head at everything he ever does.

17. they’re crying—what did it take to make them cry?

he so sensitive he cries at literally anything how could u ask me this. happy crying, sad crying, angry crying, there is no shortage of tears here.

22. how would they decorate their living space, if they had a chance?

he tries to keep it relatively nice even tho hes broke and dumpy. average british apartment aes. very little sign of personality/special decor but he claims its just because it dont take much to satisfy him. i think he puts a little more effort into making it cute when henrietta comes into his life tho because he wants to impress her.

30. how do they handle confrontation?

crying pissing sobbing and locking himself in the bathroom threating to kill himself. hes TRYING to be better about it tho.

45. what lies do they tell themselves?

im FINE my mental health is NORMAL im DOING THE RIGHT THING by harassing zero suddenly the secrets i keep from henrietta are FOR HER OWN GOOD.

60. what do they have faith in? what keeps them believing?

i think his current attempts at making a good life for himself are what he believes in and what keeps him going on. believes in the possibility of fixing the things he did wrong before (regardless of if he rlly can or not). and also having a hot gf.

[mdwatchestv]

Everything I'm Going to Watch in September and You Should Too, Or Not, I'd Rather You Be Your Authentic Self

There is one question asked in this town more than any other and it's not "Who are you wearing?" (as the media would falsely have you believe) it's "What are you watching?" Or "Have you seen anything good lately?" "Did you watch x?" "Have you seen z?" This question is posed at awkward drinks, on boring conference calls, lazily to your co-workers, animatedly to your brunch friends, in all caps to your IM buddies. We have this conversation because we hope it will go something like this:

Me: Have you seen anything good lately? You: OMG yes I have! I just watched this six episode British miniseries about a group of diverse women at the turn of the 20th century who have to solve a series of murders! Also there's a hot guy. You will LOVE IT. Me, sobbing: Thank you for this gift. We embrace, both openly weeping. Our friendship has never been stronger.

But it usually goes something more like this:

Me: Have you seen anything good lately? You: No, I decided to start Seinfeld over from the beginning. We stare at each other, the conversation stagnant. We have never been further apart.

So in an effort to draw you in closer to the burning embers of my heart, here is a list of every show I am going to try and watch that starts in September. God knows I am not going to write about all of these shows, for I am just one girl with a stressful job, mild depression, general laziness, and not a lot of free time. But hopefully I can recommend something new, or validate your choices, or condemn your bad ones. I am not promising any of this will be good, but here is an open and honest look at my life choices. Here we go, LET'S FORGE A FRIENDSHIP:

September 5th- American Horror Story: Cult (10pm on FX)

Okay so we are off to not a very good start here because this show premiered Tuesday and, as of this writing, I have yet to watch it. Also while we (or more specifically me) are confessing things, I will also tell you I have not watched a season of AHS in its entirety since Coven. That is because, like all (of the seemingly endless) Ryan Murphy content, each season begins with a striking concept backed by a fantasy cast that eventually devolves into a lukewarm mess of half-cocked ideas. I come for the opener, leave in the 7th inning to avoid traffic on the way home. I predict I will watch about five episodes of this season, but it may be less depending on severity of clown content.

September 10th- Top of the Lake: China Girl (9pm on Sundance)

You guys if you didn't watch the first season of this show (only seven episodes) please correct that immediately. I want to say it's all on Hulu, that feels right. Just googled it, it is. Written and directed by Jane Campion, the original miniseries is an atmospheric, character-driven mystery set in gloriously accented New Zealand. It stars Elisabeth Moss, with said amazing accent, just acting up a storm. Additionally the series has a decidedly feminist bent, which is especially refreshing in a landscape where most shows about the crimes done to women veer in the opposite direction. Season China Girl takes place in Sydney, Australia and adds Gwendoline Christie (Brienne!!) and NICOLE FUCKING KIDMAN to the cast. NICOLE KIDMAN PEOPLE. WATCH THIS.

September 13th - Broad City Season 4 (10:30pm on Comedy Central)

I mean... I personally identify as an Abbi pretending to be Ilana. Broad City is everything. 

September 14th - Better Things Season 2 (10:00pm on FX)

Okay, more honesty, this is largely an aspirational entry. I watched a handful of the first season and really loved it, but didn't finish it. I know, I know, this show is much better than American Horror Story and deserves to be watched thoroughly. Maybe it's me, maybe it's FX. But I mean any show with scenes about television casting hold a special place in my heart. It's hard for me to watch shows about the industry without feeling nauseous, but Better Things successfully walks the line between comedy and me having to put my head between my knees.

September 17th - The Emmys!!! (8:00pm on CBS)

TV'S BIGGEST NIGHT YOU GUYS! Also it's the 69th one...nice.

September 20th

Channel Zero: No End House (10:00pm on SyFy)

Yeah I know. I watched the entirety of the first season of this show ("Candle Cove") and it was not even that good, or that scary, but it's a show based on Creepypastas!!!! The nostalgia overload on my little goth early aughts heart is just too much to for me to resist. Also it's only six episodes!

The Good Place Season 2 (10:00pm on NBC)

If you didn't watch the first season of this show, I highly suggest you do that as well, it's on Netflix! At the end of the day The Good Place (created by the always brilliant Michael Schur) is a high concept comedy about philosophy. Philosophy! The first season genuinely surprised and delighted me (two emotions I very rarely feel while watching television because I am jaded/dead inside). The first season started off a little...impenetrable... but so did the first season of Parks and Rec! In both cases putting in the work is worth it I promise. 

September 22nd

Gaga: Five Foot Two (Netflix)

I realize this is not really TV, but it is a thing I'm going to watch on Netflix that will take up time from my regularly scheduled programming.

Transparent Season 4 (Amazon)

I feel like Amazon never tells me when things are going to be on. Like, I have been wondering all year when Marvelous Mrs Maisel is going to premiere and I know they are just going to spring it in the night or something and I’m going to miss it, Transparent is consistently compelling and at its very best, magical. This year the Pfeffermans are traveling to Israel, and the change in location may be just the thing to add a kick to this fourth year show.

September 24th - Keeping Up With The Kardashians 10 Year Anniversary Special 9:00pm on E!)

Look, we are building a friendship here and the key to building friendships is honest communication.

September 25th - The Good Doctor (10:00pm on ABC)

That's right, a brand new network one hour! I watch exactly zero network dramas, the time commitment (22 episodes) to quality (22 episodes) ratio is just not worth it for me. There always comes a point where I fall woefully behind, never to catch up again. I have no illusions I am going to watch every episode of this new fall drama about a surgeon who has autism and must persevere over odds and prejudice while solving intriguing medical cases etc etc. But I love the Brit leads of this show, Freddie Highmore and Antonia Thomas, to little bits and pieces so I am at least going to tune in for the first couple in order to coo over them and critique their American accents. I hope they are both making lots of money.

September 26th

Law & Order: The Menendez Murders (10:00pm on NBC)

There are two things I love in this world, true crime and miniseries, and this new Law & Order spinoff from NBC vice overlord Dick Wolf, has married them together. If you don't know about the 1989 Menedez brothers murder of their parents (in Beverly Hills no less), and the subsequent trial, it's a real humdinger. I have high hopes for this series, especially seeing as it stars Edie Falco (strong female lead with a questionable perm is where it's at this year), and Law & Order has  been delivering the crime-solving goods for literally decades.  However the primary colored billboards popping up around town (see above) do feel a bit like a red (yellow, and blue) flag, but I remain murderously optimistic for this.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Five (9:30pm on Fox)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is hilarious and Terry Crews is a gift, A GIFT.

September 28th  

Great News (8:30pm on NBC)

This show, about an aspiring reporter (the beautious and funnious Briga Heelan) whose over-bearing mother (ANDREA MARTIN PEOPLE) becomes an intern at the news station where she works, took a couple of episodes to find it's feet in the first season. But after getting its groove this under-the-radar gem proved to be genuinely charming and laugh out loud funny (who knew Nicole Ritchie could be so likable). I have high hopes for season two now that the writing has hit its stride, and Tina Fey is going to recur in seven episodes! That's so many!

Will and Grace (9:00pm on NBC)

This could be absolutely terrible or ALL OF OUR TV HOPES AND DREAMS.

And before you ask, here is why I'm not watching the below:

You're The Worst - I am so far behind on this, feels insurmountable to catch up. I liked the two I watched though! I know, I’m the worst.

BoJack Horseman- Industry related existential dread  is too overwhelming and leads to nausea (see above).

One Mississipi - Saw the excellent documentary about Tig on Netflix, felt spiritually satisfied. Did not need more. 

The Deuce - Struggling to generate excitement and energy to watch two James Francos.

Fear the Walking Dead - I loyally watched the first two seasons, but it started to feel like a chore. Also AMC's bizarre lack of marketing for the first (and now second) half of the season makes me suspicious of quality. Love much of the cast (Kim, Frank, Coleman) and could be lured back...we'll see.

Outlander - Woefully far behind, although what i saw of the first season was A++++.

The Orville - Not sure why this show is an hour?

Star Trek: Discovery - I am not a Trekkie, but I was excited for this when my beloved Bryan Fuller was at the helm. Now every time I see the billboards I can't help but wonder what might have been....

Phew that was a lot, but I feel closer to you than ever now dear reader. Are you going to be watching any of this? Is there anything I missed? I know I am a bad and irresponsible television watcher for not trying harder on You're The Worst and Outlander, but no one is perfect and a person's flaws are supposed to endear you to them. If you would like to debate me, tell me which Kardashian is your favorite (mine is Kim), or if you know about a six episode British mini-series with a strong female lead and murder, you can hit me up on twitter @marthadee!

Ok goodbye new best friend, love you bai. 

XO MD

[rolandfontana]

Courthouse ‘Warrior’ or Diplomat? The Public Defender’s Challenge

Give The New York Times credit.   When it comes to exposing our indigent defense crisis, the paper keeps at it.

Last month, reporters Richard Oppell, Jr. and Jugal Patel produced a story that introduced readers to a public defender in Louisiana with a list of pending cases long enough to require five years’ work, and to bewildered indigent clients in Rhode Island who received one to five minutes of defender counseling at their first court appearance.

The Oppell and Patel survey was given prominent placement.  The Times digital edition deployed interactive features.  Photographs of 113 of one defender’s 194 clients were published to give human faces to the numbers.  It was a serious piece.

Still, while I don’t enjoy saying this, I’ve been doing public defender work for 45 years, and I have read variations of this story 200 times.  The caseload count is worse now in many places than it was in the mid-1970s when I first got involved.

I’m not sure this story—and the legion of stories like it— will make a difference on their own.

The impact of straightforward case counts is unpredictable.  Back in my days as a state public defender in Massachusetts,  I was attacked by a legislator outraged that our state’s too-high (but in the middle-of-the-pack nationally) caseloads were luxuriously low, compared with the desperate situations described in Bob Spangenberg’s pioneering data studies, the precursors of the line of inquiry The Times is now pursuing.

And while we certainly need better time-per-case adequacy standards, the problem isn’t convincing an audience that defenders want more time. People know that by now.

The challenge is communicating what it is that defenders would do with the time.

Some decision-makers have a jaundiced view of public defenders. One legislator told a colleague who was complaining that defenders were paid less than sanitation worker that “the trash men take the garbage off the streets; you guys just put the garbage back out there.”

The defender community’s own infatuation with Herbert Packer’s Battle Model of a criminal process seen as a stylized war—a zero sum conflict between the Crime Control Warrior Cop and the Due Process Warrior Defender—contributes to this situation.

Often, this Battle Model vision is wheeled out as a convenient morale-building shortcut. But it does contain a germ of truth.

In every courthouse where criminal cases are heard, there are damaged or apathetic individuals who have been granted power over the lives of impoverished clients, who enjoy their roles, and who abuse their authority at leisure from positions of complete security.

I’ve represented almost 100 murderers over the years, but only one of them makes his way onto my private roster of The Dozen Worst People.  The remaining eleven places are held by a variety of judges, prosecutors, cops, and other lawyers: racists, sadists, bullies, and liars among them.

It’s true that if you’re not ready to go to war with these people you shouldn’t take a defender job.

But for defenders, as for actual military war-fighters, charge-the-machine-gun-nest courage is an ultimate requirement, more than an immediate one. Having it is necessary, but not sufficient.

It turns out that living humbly in a good cause, not dying gloriously for one, is the actual challenge.

The indispensable personal quality for a defender is resiliency.

That means the capacity to bounce back, the ability to return tomorrow and the next day and summon empathy, to doggedly prepare for battles that will probably never occur, and-—at the risk of sounding insufficiently warlike—to sustain and draw on a reservoir of  patience and kindness toward clients, their families, and their victims.

Thinking about resiliency is important because resiliency is not only a quality in individuals; it is also a crucial property of safe systems.

For better or worse, the criminal courthouse really is a system.  It is not a mechanical system like a clock.  It is not a chaotic eco-system like a swamp.

But it is a complex socio-technical system, like a hospital or an airport.

To begin with, thinking about criminal justice as a system can remind us that this system has an intake valve.  There are simply too many cases. The prosecutors, (according to one quoted by The Times) feel just as overworked as the defenders.

So, stop filing the cases.

As Alexandra Natapoff demonstrates in her brilliant new book Punishment Without Crime, many of them don’t matter, and pursuing them inflicts wide, radiating circles of collateral harm.

Besides, we can learn a lot about the safety of systems under pressure from aviation, medicine, and other fields.

Some systems under pressure break catastrophically:  they are “brittle.”   (Think of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor.)

But others are resilient. They adapt and adjust. They innovate in the face of surprises and anomalies.   The recognition of the importance of resiliency illuminates how the new, data-driven approaches to defending can help convey the indispensable value of defenders’ contributions.

Brady wrongful conviction cases fuel the Villain Prosecutor v. Warrior Defender narrative.  But from a system perspective, they raise the question whether an adequately funded defender might have caught the mistake.

Apart from evidence the prosecutors have and knowingly conceal is evidence they didn’t have (and couldn’t easily get) and that the defenders don’t have the time to uncover and provide. There is still other evidence the prosecutors had, but didn’t recognize as exculpatory because the starved defense couldn’t provide the context.

Systems-oriented “sentinel event reviews” of these wrongful convictions could help us understand why particular prosecutors in particular cases zigged when they were supposed to zag.  It would also show us why the defenders in those cases were unable to provide the resiliency that would have avoided tragedy:  how an overwhelming caseload and the absence of investigative capacity influenced the outcome.

A pair of Rand Corporation studies led by James Anderson and Paul Heaton has compiled and interrogated the data about these issues.

The earlier of the two studies, subsequently published in the Yale Law Journal, shows the influence of adequately funded defense in Philadelphia murder cases.

The salaried staff attorney defenders, who handled murder cases in two lawyer teams with access to in-house investigators and forensic science expertise, produced superior outcomes compared with private attorneys, whose fees were capped and who had to scrounge for investigative and forensic expert resources.

The second study assessed defender performance at the other end of the case-seriousness spectrum by examining a “natural experiment” provided by comparing the “holistic” defense approach of the Bronx Defenders with the traditional approach of the New York Legal Aid Society in the high-volume retail processing of criminal cases.

See also: Tom Reed, “Can Public Defenders Be Reformers?”

I won’t attempt to untangle at this point the complex questions of why the outcomes are different. I just want to point out that the style of defending adopted did clearly produce differences, and that the differences were on metrics—e.g., reductions in incarceration and expense, without rises in the re-offense and failure-to-appear rates—that everyone would accept as system goals.

These studies indicate that, given the time to perform it, the defense function not only protects the clients the defenders “champion.”

It bolsters the overall system’s resiliency.

By mobilizing the defenders’ capacity to “stop the line” and fill the information gaps about the client or the case when the police have followed the wrong trail or our shiny new Risk Assessment algorithm has failed to account for an individual feature, the system saved money, protected the community, and preserved just outcomes.

Of course, “stopping the line” on a Friday afternoon when the judge is trying to clear his docket requires a “warrior” equipped to advocate for some local sacrifice (“No golf!!!??”)  in order to reach the larger systems goals of more justice and lower cost.

But those local sacrifices are what a resilient system delivers.

Understanding American criminal justice requires understanding both the searing individual narratives of persons and communities entangled with that system and the statistical vision derived from a careful consideration of the data.  The vision and the narrative are not only complementary, they are mutually dependent.  One is meaningless-—even misleading—without the other.

The Times coverage and the data-based efforts it describes should help us see that system resiliency—and, ultimately, safety—is “emergent.”   It grows out of the individual narratives that only adequately funded defenders can fully develop, and what it grows into is more than the sum of a pile of anecdotes and sob stories.

Resiliency might be required in different ways and at different times by different failures and challenges.

The current realities of our criminal justice world set ostensibly independent silos—cops, courts, defenders, corrections—fighting with each other over scarce resources.

But it would be good to remember that these elements constitute interdependent parts of a larger whole that can, if its parts are adequately funded, provide greater safety for everyone.

James M. Doyle is a Boston defense lawyer and author, and a frequent contributor to The Crime Report. He welcomes readers’ comments.

Courthouse ‘Warrior’ or Diplomat? The Public Defender’s Challenge syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/