#im so tired going straight from the end of a Hard shift into a function i dont want to be at

[kurthorton]

unfortunately i am at a family function

[heartofwritiing]

Lies

Paring(s): slight!Actor!Mark x fem!reader, Darkiplier x fem!reader

a/n: #16 from this prompt list. “All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that? “

Ive changed this fic some many time and have been writing and editing it for WEEKS so here it is! Its really rough so please ignore any mistakes I had to edit this myself and If i missed something please just ignore it lol I just really wanted to get this out! This is my take on ending 31 from a heist with markiplier hope you enjoy! 

this wasn’t requested Im just in a angsty mood :/

Warning(s): Angst, crying and more angst.

The last thing I remember was walking down a hallway of portraits of people whose eyes were covered with a stripe of black paint. I kept receiving messages from an unknown number and when I reached the end of the hall the last painting had Mark standing on a staircase in a red robe that started peeling away then my vision went black. I felt sick, my head was pounding with pain and my body felt heavy. I opened my eyes to more darkness and ringing in my ears. two arms engulfed me into an embrace. I tried pushing away but I was too weak. Their voice went through my ears making me wince.

“Name?”

The voice turned into a hushed whisper, my hearing started coming back slowly making everything sound muffled.

“Please, can you hear me?” the voice pleaded.

My eyes slowly lifted open revealing nothing and I began to panic. Was I dead? No, don’t be dumb Name. The person said my name again pulling me from my thoughts and the gears in my head began to turn. I looked up and wanted to cry. Damien?

“Damien,” I whispered.

“He’s here darling,” he said reaching his hand up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, a gentle touch that made my cheeks warm up.

I was confused at his words and the way he had spoken, the tone of his voice seemed sad and hurt Dameins eyes searched mine. I had been quiet for a few minutes. I was trying to process how he was here.

“It's alright you're safe now” He smiles softly.

I think he could tell I was dazed and confused but what did he mean by safe? My head is aching, pounding pain shot through my brain as I tried to remember anything. This didn’t feel real and everything just felt hazy. It felt like a dream and I had to know if I was awake.

“Kiss me,” I blurt out.

  He seems shocked for a second probably thinking this wasn’t this time nor place to do this but I needed to feel him.

“I need to know this isn’t a dream or some fantasy of mine,” I tell him.

  Without another word, his hand reached down under my chin to tilt my head back up. His black soulless eyes connected with mine for a moment before he pressed his lips to mine. A knot formed in my stomach when he grabbed my hips bringing our bodies closer, my breath hitched, our lips brushing against each other made my head spin. I reached up to tug on his hair and he let out a breathy moan into my mouth. Pulling away our breaths mixed and his eyes were clouded with lust. This felt real. The feeling of his chilled lips was real. He was real.

  “Did that feel like a dream?” He breathed out. God. Butterflies were punching the inside of my stomach trying to break free. If I had the physical strength to lean up on my toes to kiss him again I would. All I could muster was a little nod, he chuckled

“I’ve got to get you away from here,” he spoke after a minute.

   Damien took my hand in his leading me through the nothingness and my mind began to race with questions. What was going on, I needed answers and I wasn't going to be pushed aside anymore. It has always been like this. I would forget everything and be dragged around by everyone and I was fed up with the games. I stopped and yanked my hand out of Damien’s grip. He turned to me, his face frowned pure confusion across his face.

“Name, I don’t have the time to explain-”

“No!” I shout. I was tired of being scared

“I want to know what's going on, no more lies or secrets Damien.” I was so frustrated, tears started welling up in my eyes.

   Damien sighed, clenching his fists, trying to suppress his anger. He walked closer to me and placed his hands on the sides of my face and everything turned white. Flashes of people, memories flooded through seeing a mansion and then a group of people playing poker. the night of Mark’s poker game, things went horribly wrong. The whole event was a trap in order for him to get revenge. I died. He took over my body, throwing my soul into a mirror and prisoning me for a hundred years. until Mark had found me and erased my memories replacing them with one of me and him together. Lastly, I saw how Damien became this new form he called himself Dark and that Damien was gone forever but he still had his memories.

   My vision returned to see Dark standing away from me now everything was coming back into my brain slowly. My mouth fell open and I remembered, Damien was the love of my life, and to hear that he was dead broke my heart. I started to cry again, grief, sadness, and anger rolled into one coming out as a sob. How could I forget?

“For all these years I thought you were gone,” His voice was trembling.

  I stared at him as he stood a few feet away from me, tears rolled down his grey cheeks and onto his white suit.

“I never forgave myself for killing you,”

  “I don’t understand why Mark would do all of this,” I said, but I understood it completely. I just didn’t want to accept the fact Mark became mad with jealousy and wanted to make William miserable.

  “He’s our friend. Friends would never do anything like this,” my bottom lip started quivering.

“He wouldn’t, he-”

   Dark said my name in a hushed whisper and grabbed my shoulders slightly causing me to look up at him as he began to speak.

  “I know it’s hard to understand any of this but, he’s been manipulating you, Making you forget everything, Forget me.” He said. “Mark is not a good person and I have to get you away from him.”

   I didn’t want to accept what Mark had done. Mark had been there for me when we were kids and always have been so close, I wanted to help him. Dark had explained that Mark’s mansion overtime began to host some sort of entity to put ideas into his head, and it conjured up this idea of getting all the people who wronged Mark together to get revenge. I wanted to help my friend even if he was being controlled. I could tell Dark was reading my thoughts. I could see it in his eyes, he clenched his jaw screwing his eyes shut.

He inhaled before he opened his mouth to speak.

  “You’re not actually considering helping him.” His teeth grit. “After what he’s done, to you, to all of us.” His voice raises and the light around his form pules red. I try not to think about it, maybe it was just this place or my eyes tricking me.

“He’s our friend, Damien,” I plead.

His jaw clenched.

“That’s not my name anymore,” He said bitterly.

  I was shocked at his words. He was angry with me, now I really knew Damien was gone.

   “ALL HE EVER DID WAS USE YOU. WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT!?!” Dark yelled, suddenly gripping my arms harshly.

   I jumped, the whole area around us shakes and feels like it's cracking, falling apart at his outburst. Darks aura was buzzing and glowing red showing off his anger and frustration. After a moment his body relaxed and his shoulders dropped, he mumbled an apology I barely heard and stood up straight. Dark struggled to stand when he fell backward suddenly, I grabbed his hands so he didn’t hit the ground trying to keep him on his feet but something was pulling to let my grip go.

  I squeaked when Dark fell back and yanked me with him, his back hit the floor with a thud that echoed and our chests collided. I groaned and slowly sat up on his thighs our hands still laced together as he sat up

  “Its Mark, he knows I’m with you,” His eyes stared into mine and I could’ve sworn for a moment that they shifted into a dark brown color. My heart swelled thinking that those were Damiens eyes looking through. “He’s trying to separate us again.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he spoke in a regretful tone. “This is the only way I’ll ever be able to see you again,” Dark lifted his hands to the sides of my head again, his eyelids closing in concentration. I was bracing myself for what was about to happen and soon sleep began to take over my body and my eyes fell closed.

~

  Dark cradled a unconscious Name against his chest stroking her hair every few seconds. He knew it made her calm even if she wasn’t conscious, he knew she could feel his presence and the feeling of his fingers in her hair. He sat there in the darkness like for the past hundred years being stuck in his own head. Names body began to disappear and Dark was alone; she was with Mark now and would be until he found her again. And could finally take her to a safe place forever. He looked up into the void, praying she would be safe soon.

~

  I stood in front of the museum beside Mark yawning and trying to fight my eyes shutting. I looked down at my timer watch and the numbers 2:30 am looked back at me. I looked down at my satchel and belt making sure I had all my tools and my grappling hook was secured to my hip. I sighed before turning to Mark to see him checking his equipment as well.

“Why are we doing this again?” I ask.

Mark’s head lifts to catch my eyes for a second then going back down.

  “You said you wanted to go on another adventure right?” He reminds me.

   A heist at almost three in the morning when I should have been asleep was not what I meant by going on a crazy adventurer. Going on a trip to Europe like we’ve always talked about maybe but not the local museum in the town we lived in. Mark said that what we were stealing had some importance to it so I was willing to help my friend out.

   “Yeah but I’m tired, you should have at least made me coffee before we left so I could actually function.” I scowl. He shakes his head and laughs. 

   Mark takes his grappling hook off his belt and walks towards the brick building raising his arm he pulls the trigger and the hook goes flying up and catching the ledge of the roof. I do the same and we both walk up the side of the building tiring to be as quiet as possible walking to a small open vent that leads into the museum. I follow Mark’s lead and begin to think this was a bad idea and should’ve kept my mouth shut last week but continued.

[vitaminhosh]

prince!seungcheol

anon requested: “prince cheol i will lvoe u forever”

pairing: seungcheol x reader

under the cut bc it’s ridiculously long

oH boy i am so ready for this au

one of the most charming and endearing princes out there??

there isn’t anyone one within a 100-mile radius that dislikes seungcheol like..... have you met him

and anyone who does kind of feel some sort of dislike towards him

they see him smile and oops

how did I not like him before?? he’s an angel??

he is genuinely hard working and kind hearted though, he works very hard to make the lives of his people better

when he was younger and wasn’t allowed to go out he would have to learn about the kingdom’s history and,, all the war and bloodshed absolutely broke his heart

he swore that when he was older he would never allow something like this to happen again

when he was finally allowed to go out and saw some of the people struggling to just make do, he was determined to make a change

nowadays he makes it his mission to go out and meet everybody and see how they’re doing as often as his busy schedule allows

he’ll have lunch in the town and chat with the people, anyone who saw from the outside wouldn’t even suspect that he was royalty and just think that it was a table of old friends

plus his absolute favorite meal of all time is in this small shop tucked away in one of the small streets in the heart of town, and it was,,, a burger

sure the food in the palace was obviously amazing with top chefs cooking there and all but,, nothing really beats the burger made in this small shop that people barely even knew about

we all know seungcheol will be a well-dressed prince 

like,, he won’t want to be super over the top in full on capes and stuff but,, he sure as hell isn’t just walking around town in sweatpants or something

he cares about his image okay

(even though everyone will swoon even if he were to go out in sweatpants and a hoodie)

everyone in his kingdom is basically in love with him

as are the people in neighboring kingdoms 

and far away kingdoms

the other princes are jealous

have you seen his smile though? it can cure diseases

he takes his responsibilities very seriously, but obviously, he’s still a young man who likes to have fun and gets bored too

he doesn’t like to sit still, so when he’s finished with all of his duties he’ll be off to go do something

even at odd times at the night, you can find him in a nearby kingdom trying to find this specific comic book or something

people don’t find it weird anymore

“oh look prince seungcheol is here again did you want more of these sweets?”

he’s often seen hanging out with the other princes when he can

the people die when they see their princes hanging out together

has public social media accounts but also secret personal ones

spams the group chat full of princes,, just because he can

ok enough background stuff onto you and cheol

you work in one of those small tucked away shops that prince seungcheol likes to frequent

however you’re not from this kingdom, and you only work the night shift so it’s not like you know a lot of people or much about this kingdom

you’re just taking this job to try and make some cash while you’re away from home traveling, you happened to choose to stay here indefinitely

you’re not entirely sure who this strangely good-looking man is who only comes in at 3am every week is but ?? business is business plus you’re not gonna judge,, it’s not like you’ve never had cravings for junk food in the middle of the night too

since it’s late at night cheol is dressed in very casual clothes so nothing really gives away the fact that he’s actually the goddamn prince of this kingdom

since he comes so often plus he just likes to get to know people he makes small talk while you gather up his stuff

after a couple of weeks, you soon become kinda like friends ?? it’s a weird circumstance but hell it’s 3am nobody’s really functioning well enough to question this

 you’re sitting at the counter on your phone when the bell on the door rings signalling another customer

you just know it’s him again cause,,, not many people would be here at this ungodly time of night so you don’t bother looking up

you stop scrolling through instagram when you hear tutting in front of you

“I should complain to your manager you know- I’d rate this customer service a 1/10″

seungcheol watched as you finally looked up and chuckled at him

“sorry old man..... how can I help you, your highness”

seungcheol froze- did you finally find out who he was?

the reason he was so interested in you was because you didn’t seem to know who he was, and treated him like a normal person

his mind was going 100 miles a minute until you suddenly snorted

“god imagine it,, you ?? a king ?? pfft”

he smirked once he realized he wasn’t busted

“what do you have against me being a king huh?”

“idk man what kinda king buys junk food like three times a week at 3am,, plus ur a dork”

“wow,,, is that all i am to you,,,,,, a dork,,,, im hurt”

you smack his arm before starting to scan the things he’s put down on the counter

“how do you eat all this and stay in shape... tell me your secrets”

“god given metabolism sorry sweaty you can’t buy this :-)”

you snorted once again as you begin to pack his things into a paper bag

“did god accidentally spill all the ego into you as well”

“well i mean to help god out i do go workout too feel free to join me if you’re not too unfit to keep up”

“uhhh excuse me who are you calling unfit..... give me a time and place and I’ll fight beat you in a race”

“fine when do you get off tomorrow I’ll walk you to the hill and see who can get to the top first”

and that’s how you ended up at the bottom of a hill at 5am with a man you’ve never seen outside the shop

“whoever wins gets treated to breakfast”

“wipe that smirk off your face seungcheol I’m not getting beat by you”

surprise surprise,,,,, you lost

unfortunately he was much faster than you thought he would be

you were both lying on the grass, panting from running up a sizable hill 

you punched his arm

seungcheol sat up, mouth open as he was about to whine when a voice came from the bottle of the hill

“your highness! there you are! you were supposed to return an hour ago you father will find out you’ve been out!”

seungcheol’s eyes widened before cursing under his breath

“I gotta go but you still owe me breakfast okay I’ll explain everything tonight ok bye !!”

you just sat there in shock as seungcheol dashed down the hill, even faster than before as the worker followed behind him

“y-your highness?”

you had flashbacks to seungcheol smirking when you laughed at the idea of him being king

you make your way back home, with a permanent blush on your cheeks and a million thoughts in your head

how could you not know that he was the prince?

oh god you’ve been smacking the prince for weeks when he makes a stupid dad joke

you can’t sleep that day and when you’re back in the shop you’re barely conscious

you’re too tired to even think about seungcheol saying he would explain tonight

when seungcheol comes in and makes his way over to the counter, he expects to find you on your phone again but instead sees you asleep on the counter

he smiles softly before grabbing an old receipt and a pen and writing a note

“sleeping on the job? strike two y/n. I really should complain to your manager, guess I was just too fast for you ;). I’ll be back tomorrow, get some rest. p.s. you might want to wash that hoodie, you drooled a little bit”

you woke up with a panic when your phone chimed at 5am, reminding you it was time to close up

oh god seungcheol was supposed to come

after you finally orientate yourself you notice the note on the table

after reading the note you flush red again

oh god you were asleep in front of the cute prince and d r o o l e d

you stumbled home after closing up and immediately went to sleep

later that day you rushed to the shop, almost late since you were so tired you slept through your alarm

as 2 am came around the bell on the door rang and you sat up straight

seungcheol didn’t usually come till around 3 so you assumed this was an actual customer

"I hope you washed that hoodie before coming back here tonight”

you looked down and noticed that you were in such a rush that you didn’t even change out of last night’s outfit

flushing pink, you quip back with a “so what if I didn’t huh”

seungcheol finally appears from around the shelf

“its a bit gross i gotta say”

“not as gross as you”

seungcheol looked at you with a soft smile on his face, trying to get the words in his head to form coherent sentences

“im sorry”

you looked at him with a blank face

“what for ?? i mean i know its kinda gross but like i was gonna be late for work and-”

“no, I’m sorry for not telling you”

you sat there with your mouth half open and closed it before looking down at your hands that were on the counter

“it’s okay”

he took your hands in his, making you look up

“it’s not, I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I’ve just never had someone treat me like everyone else and it was... refreshing. But you deserved to know, I was being selfish. I’m sorry”

you gave seungcheol a soft smile, giving his hands a soft pat as he looked down at his feet to try and get his attention

“seungcheol really, it’s fine. I understand why you did it, I’m not mad”

“I still feel bad, it wasn’t right. You should be mad”

“well I mean I am....”

seungcheol looked up, ready to apologize again

“but only cause you beat me in a race,,,,, outrageous”

you smack him again, trying to lighten the mood

“but a deal is a deal, and I still owe you breakfast”

seungcheol started giggling, and you swear your heart skipped a beat

“im trying to be serious here and all you care about is getting beat”

“cheol, i really don’t mind. plus, I’m a woman of my word, I can’t have you owe me, that’s ridiculous”

“I’m busy later, how about you just treat me to a late night snack here instead”

fast forward to a couple weeks later, and you’re back at that hill waiting for seungcheol to come so that he can introduce you to his prince friends as you have a couple of days off

you can actually hear them before you see them 

who’s even surprised at this point it’s seungcheol + 12 rowdy boys

“guys please don’t be embarrassin- oH hi y/n you’re early hahaha”

“hi I’m jeonghan are you cheol’s girlfrien-”

seungcheol shoved the guy out of the way before he could finish his sentence

“sorry,,, my friends are idiots”

you chuckled as seungcheol sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, a light pink dusting his cheeks

“don’t worry, I like them”

“wE LIKE YOU TOO Y/N”

you giggled before heading over to the group of guys to go meet them properly

seungcheol stood still for a second, watching you introduce yourself to his friends a couple feet away

jeonghan came up to him, watching you with him

“when are you gonna ask her out, I thought you were going to the other day when you guys hung out at her place”

“she was tired so I let her sleep, some other time jeonghan”

they headed back to the group and you turned to them as you noticed the two join the circle

“cheol !! is it true that you tripped over a log and fell into the lake while trying to impress a girl when you were 6? i knew you were a dork but I didn’t think it was that bad”

“wHAT ARE YOU GUYS TELLING HER”

as the day began to end and everyone had to head back, seungcheol insisted on walking you back to your apartment

you had refused at first, but you were tired and it was late

when you got to your place you turned to seungcheol, about to thank him for walking you back when you saw him looking nervous

“cheol, are you okay? what’s wrong?”

“nothing,, I just,, y/n would you want- I mean- do you,, uh,,,, will you,, go out with me?”

you could barely hear him as he was mumbling but you just managed to catch his words

you put your hand on his cheek and pressed a quick kiss onto his other cheek

“of course seungcheol, it’d be an honor”

you smiled and said goodnight before heading inside

seungcheol stood there, frozen in shock as you had not only agreed but ???? you kissed his cheek ?????

you began to get ready for bed, a smile and a light blush on your face

you can’t believe you’re dating the biggest dork on the planet

seungcheol, on the other hand, was shouting at jeonghan down the phone; he practically skipping home

a/n: this is,,,,,, the longest thing ever im so sorry i got excited about this au

[the-everlasting-dream]

Q&A with Ana De Luca - Drake x MC

Summary: MC Elizabeth and Drake sit down for a post-honeymoon interview with Trend Magazine’s Ana De Luca for a light hearted Q&A session. 

A/N: I really wanted to contribute to @boneandfur​ ‘s TRR4Ever week but was too busy to commit to a full on fic/one shot so this was what came to my tired brain instead. Its probably totally crap but I kinda wanted it to be natural while throwing in a few of my own HC’s in there coz why not? Also im kinda proud of this aesthetic like its the first time i’ve made one of these

Permanent Tag list: @chantelle-x0x @choicessa @mariamatsuo @pbchoicesobsessed

For this month’s issue I, Ana De Luca, sat down with the Duke Drake and Duchess Elizabeth Walker of Atlantea for an exclusive look into married life for the recently wedded couple by asking them a series of questions sent in by our readers from what is appropriately dubbed the ’Newlywed Game' as opposed to the usual interview format.

[Ana De Luca] Hello Your Graces. Thank you for joining me today. I hope you had a pleasant vacation. 

[Elizabeth] Thank you so much for having us today Ms De Luca. We most certainly did. South America was beautiful wasn’t it darling? 

[Drake] Yes. 

 [E] You’ll have to forgive my husband -she blushes slightly as she says this, looking at him - He’s not used to being interviewed. 

[A] No apologies necessary Your Grace. I trust you were informed of the structure we will be employing today. 

[E] Yes we were and it sounds super fun, this Newlywed game. You’ll be asking us separate questions about each other, am I correct? 

[A] Yes. Shall we begin?

[D] Yep lets do it. And you can drop the whole duke-duchess thing. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that title. 

[A] The first question is for you Drake. Where and when did you and the duchess share your first kiss?

[D] Wow straight to the point aren’t you? Ow! Elizabeth elbows him slightly in the ribs Umm our kiss actually took place at the Beaumont mansion a few months after we met. 

[A] Would I be right in assuming that was during the social season?

[D] Umm… Yes, yeah thats right. 

[A] Splendid. Now to Elizabeth. What was your first impression of your spouse? 

[E] My first impression hmm? She stifles a laugh as her husband eyes her expectantly. It wasn’t too different to everyone else’s. He was dark and broody. Extremely sarcastic and snarky, almost like he didn’t like me at first. But that quickly changed after I wore down his walls. 

[D] She basically annoyed me into loving her. 

[E] Is that a complaint I hear? 

[D] Complain? Me? Never.   

[A] Drake what adjective would you use describe Elizabeth on your wedding day?

[D] Just one?

[A] That's correct.

[D] Man there are so many…. One won’t be able to cover it... but I guess I’ll have to go with... radiant. She was practically glowing when she walked up the aisle and I felt like the luckiest man on the planet. 

[A] Wonderful. The readers will love this. Now Elizabeth do you get along with Drake’s family members?

[E] His mum is an angel. We only met after we got engaged but she is such a warm lovely person and we bonded immediately being Americans. I adore Savannah too. She and I have gotten so much closer over the engagement period and I’ve come to count on her as a second second sister. Her and her mother have the best stories from Drake’s childhood. 

[A] Can I persuade you into sharing any? 

The duchess glances at her husband who glares at her in warning. 

[E] I really value my life so I’m gonna have to decline on that one. 

[A] In that case, Drake what item of clothing does Elizabeth look best in? 

[D] Oh man… This is a hard one because she looks stunning in pretty much everything. 

[A] But if you had to pick one?

[D] I can’t there are too many to choose from… 

[A] Ok let me rephrase the question.. Is there an outfit of Elizabeth’s besides her wedding dress that completely blew you away the first time you saw her wear it? 

[D] Hmm when you phrase it like that… She’d worn tons of amazing ballgowns in the past but the green dress she wore the first night we met in New York will always be one of my favourites… He sighs contentedly, smiling shyly at the duchess. Does that count? 

[A] It most certainly does. Elizabeth what is his most irritating habit in the bedroom? 

[D] Now thats not an invasion of privacy at all… His tone is sarcastic but he glances at his wife expectantly as she thinks. 

 [E] Most irritating habit hm? Its not necessarily irritating but I think he should be more confident in his abilities because he is a fantastic lover. 

Her words make the duke blush slightly as they share a loving gaze. 

 [A] How would you describe her first thing in the morning?

[D] Hah that's an easy one. She’s like a sleepy little puppy who doesn’t want to get out of bed. Especially in winter I’ll have to pull her out of the layers of blankets she’s wrapped herself in and if I don’t actually make sure she’s standing up with her eyes open, there’s a high chance she’ll just go right back to bed again. 

 [E] What can I say? I love my sleep. They share a short laugh.   

 [A] That is just adorable. Elizabeth, now I’m sure Drake considers himself a very manly man so tell me how does he like his steak cooked?

[E] Easy. Medium rare. Usually he’d be happy to eat anything but he’s extremely particular about his steaks, he’ll send them right back if they’re not satisficatory.  

[D] That was one time! And it was so rare it was practically walking off the plate.  

[E] One time too many. You should have known that when you married me I’d never let you get away with such diva-like behaviour. 

[A] Expanding on that now, who is the best cook?

[D] Elizabeth for sure. I don’t know how she does it but she can make an incredible dish from just what we have in the fridge that's somehow way better than some of the food at these courtly functions.  

[E] Aww babe you’re too kind. 

[D] I’m just being honest. He smiles, squeezing her hand. 

[A] So if you’ve got all the cooking covered Elizabeth, what is one thing that Drake does for you that he hates to do but does it anyways because he loves you?

[E] I rely on him mostly to do all the repairs and handyman stuff around the house because I have no idea what I’m doing if it were up to me. I don’t think he hates it though. He once installed an entire shoe rack for me just because I mentioned I was needed more space to store them. 

[A] That's kind of a coincidence because my next question is how many pair of shoes does Elizabeth own?

[D] I honestly have no idea. But I’ll install as many shoe racks as needed because she has way too many to count. 

[A] Elizabeth who would you cast to play Drake in a movie?

The duchess’ face shifts into a wide grin. 

[E] Actually we were just talking about this recently. I’d been scrolling through my Instagram and some people seem to think that Drake looks like Daniel DiTomasso from Witches of East End. Just with slightly shorter hair but I am starting to agree with them. Don’t you think? 

She pulls up a picture of the actor on her phone before handing it to me. 

[A] He does bear a striking resemblance now that I look at it.

[D] I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t even have blue eyes!   

[A] Alright then speaking of appearances, does Elizabeth have any pet peeves about hers?

[D] She is very very VERY particular about her hair. She sometimes plans her entire week around her hair washing schedule. 

[E] Hey don’t scoff at me! Not all of us can rock the messy bedhead look. It takes a lot of work to look this good.   

[A] And my final question to both of you now… As it is leading up to Valentines day, when did you realise that your spouse could possibly be the one? 

[E] You first. 

[D] Well I guess I’m going first then. We’d had lots of moments before this, like the time all of us snuck out for cronuts or  when we were stargazing but the first time I actually saw her in a different light was on my birthday a couple of years ago. She got us all to sneak out of the palace to go to a Western themed bar and we spent the rest of the night drinking, line dancing and bull riding with all our friends. 

[E] That soon?! I thought you still hated me back then? You barely even let me hug you. 

[D] I never hated you. I just kept you at arms length because I thought you’d never see me that way. 

[E] And look how far we’ve come since then. I think for me was a little earlier than that. Time-wise everything kinda blurs together but that moment for me was the time we were in Olivia's wine cellar in Lythikos when I finally learned that there was more to you than just cynical comments and liking whiskey. After that I just couldn’t look at you the same way again, knowing that there was a soft marshmallow heart under that burnt exterior. 

  He gives her a soft smile before clearing his throat awkwardly.

[D]  Is this interview over yet? I would like to leave with some semblance of dignity left before my wife decides to give away all my secrets. 

[A] I’m sure you’ll be relieved when I say yes it is. Duke and Duchess I thank you once again for your time today. You are a beautiful couple and I wish you all the best in the future. 

[D] Thank you. 

[E] Thank you very much for having us Ms De Luca. 

[A] The pleasure was all mine.

[hotcocosharing]

Glory Days Part 25 (IM RP AU- Shun & Midi)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

Midori’s POV Choking - that’s my first reaction; to choke unladylike on the bite of pizza I have in my mouth and knock over the glass of beer I have in front of me as I attempt to grab a napkin just proving to myself and my date - boyfriend - yeah.. I think so; well… maybe - that I’m not capable of functioning like a human being. Be a girlfriend? Me? Is he aware I might screw this up? Better yet has the beer we’ve been drinking on this date made Shun’s head fuzzy? After salvaging the table and my meal which I’m sure wouldn’t taste half bad with some bitter hops spilt onto it; I nod like a child who’s been asked if she’s behaved herself. "Do you really need me to answer that question?” Hand dropping down over Shunichiro’s; I squeeze his fingers slightly and lean in for a not so quick, yet not so hesitant kiss that I’m hoping says everything and seals the deal. I can feel my heart beating to the point it seems like it may explode straight out my chest. Dropping my head to attempt to conceal my burning flushed cheeks, once we’ve finished with our food I politely decline dessert - otherwise it would seem like I have the appetite of an elephant, and suggest a walk around town; at least to spend some more time together before the night is over and hopefully not run into anyone from the campus. “I have to admit Shunichiro - I think beer, pizza and kisses make the ultimate date night. Oh and your company; definitely your company.” There’s a skip to my step as I walk beside him; eager to text Eri and tell her the good news but at the same time fully aware that my fingers probably wouldn’t be able to use a phone properly, and a short internal sigh which ends as we walk by a shop front with the most gorgeous blush coloured dress in the window it makes my pulse pelt. It would be perfect for the uni-ball happening later this week. “It’s beautiful….”, I whisper; rolling my eyes at my own girlish tendencies which have recently appeared suddenly and bite my bottom lip - aware that we’ve agreed we’re a couple yet unsure of the lengths and measures that we’ll both go to and what it means. “….out of curiosity. The uni-ball on Friday - are you going?” Glancing over one shoulder, I hold my breath; wondering if this is all a little sudden and quick. Rikiya’s POV Soft - everything feels so soft that it’s almost like a dream. The sheets underneath me are warm and there’s the smallest trickle of hot breath that burns with a delightfulness across my neck I’m not familiar with yet without a doubt could get use to. We must have fallen asleep last night - Eri seemed exhausted; the tears, the emotions, the honestly, the near drowning that put me into a state of frenzy. Her body shifts in such an innocent way as she murmurs something I can’t quite make out beneath her breath and grips at my shirt like she doesn’t want to let go. A bad dream perhaps? I’m curious; but instead of waking her up to find out just because I want to know I instead gently brush my fingers through her hair and rub them across her cheek; wiping away any tears that managed to slip and stain her cheeks that puff out as she huffs in her sleep. It’s a half loud; semi broken murmur that indicates to me that she’s slowly starting to wake up but I’ve got no intention of rushing her. It’s a shame that’s what the world seems to be doing - rushing her. A girl like Eri just needs time and space to learn, try, fail and succeed; not unrealistic expectations from this around her that can’t be met.

At least that’s just what I think. “You’re awake…”, she murmurs subtly, half sitting up; rubbing her eyes like a child as she blows some hair out of her eyes and lazily flops back down which lets me catch her into a hug. A chuckle escaping both Eri and me. “Haven’t been for long”, I explain, wrapping the sheets around her a little more. After her quest to drop into a slumber last night after saving her from near drowning; she put up a fight trying to put any kind of clothing on. Eventually convincing her that she needed something - i turned my back for two seconds as she slipped into something; giving her privacy, giving her space and agreed to stay by her side until she’d shut her eyes but seemingly, I bet her to it. “You’re a strange one you know that…”, I smirk, earning a raised eyebrow from the girl who seems unsure of where my comment is going yet bites her bottom lip allowing me to continue anyway, “..if you want my attention next time - seriously - a kiss will do fine; drowning in a bathtub or stripping down to nothing in a pool isn’t necessary. I’m a simple guy - it doesn’t take much for someone as smart as you to grab my attention.” Watching as she shakes her head before burying her face into my chest, I gain a sense of satisfaction I haven’t felt in a while. The faint remains of the perfume she wears are still etch across her skin are invigorating - rousing every tiny piece of inquisitiveness I have in me. “Do you have any classes this morning?”, I ask - the question met with a groan about some business styled subject I’d most probably fail in yet her sweet and innocent response of ‘why?’ has me on cloud nine. “..well I’d like to get to know you a little more if that’s ok? Let me take you out for lunch. Then maybe we could visit our secret little place or the beach, maybe a movie - mini golf? I could teach you how to play?” It’s short kiss after sweet kiss after Eri’s fingers snaking through and grabbing ever so softly at my hair that make each breath I take quiver. Patiently though; even though her hands drop to the sides of my face then my shoulders and then chest, I’m waiting for an answer. Something which shows and proves that me waking up beside a girl that I could possibly be bad news for, she’s willing to look past and perhaps in her life have a fresh start with someone new.

Eriko’s POV

He sounds vulnerable, perfectly sweet yet vulnerable. I simply smile, pulling him in for kiss after kiss with hands wandering over his slender body.

The kind of intimacy I’m well familiar with regardless the identify of the man I’ve my claws on, they’re pretty much the same with eyes closed. It feels nice, to be wanted, craved and worshipped but that never lasts.

I know, infatuation never does.

Once Rikiya Mononobe gets to know me, he’ll leave but unlike the rest, I may actually miss this one.

Pushing the sheets away, I glimpse his face blushes crimson as I get out of bed, once again with nothing underneath but a white tank top. I can’t help but shake my head and chuckle at myself a little, perhaps I am beyond saving- drama seems to be in my blood or I am secretly a nudist. Smiling down at the lost puppy, I lean in and kiss his forehead gently, mimicking the one he did on the night we met.

"I’d love to but if I fail anymore papers, you’ll never see me again. My father is dead serious about sending me overseas if I screw up in the slightest way.”

The hot water reaching my sore eyes, completely overwhelmed by this whole pouring my heart out to a guy. I feel horrible, guilty and punished. Was it how those guys feel when they confess to me? What kind of torture had I put them through?

The image of Toshiaki and Rikiya appear in my head just as tension is leaving my tired body, maybe this time not even a shower could solve it for me.

“Friends, I could do……”

Toshiaki’s horrid words still stab me through the heart but he’s probably right, we are better off as friends. I am just better off to be on my own, doing everyone a favor. The best way to avoid trouble is to stay away from the source, and Rikiya should do the same too.

As expected, he has coffee ready by the table. “Not sure if you have the stomach for food but at least have something warm.”

Suppressing the urge to lean over and seal his lips is hard, for someone like me anyway. One that does whenever she’s pleased, such self control suddenly seems surreal to me but why do I lead a guy on when fate has already been decided for us.

“Thank you, Rikiya. You’re a great friend, really, I don’t know what I’ll do without you last night.” I take a deep breath and sink into the warmth from my mug, pretending not to notice his sadden expression. No, don’t let it get to you, Eri. You’re doing the right thing.

“I’m done, I’m so done with guys now. Study- that’s all I would focus on. Oh, and about Shinichi.. I’m not sure what ball or party he’s referring to but maybe the three of us could go? I want to at least hold my up end of bargain.”

Shuichi’s POV

Okay, I have other things to do - like the bloody political paper I have been trying to finish or visit my parents like I’ve promised weeks ago but no I end up checking my phone every two minutes, wondering why the girl from yesterday still hasn’t reached out yet.

Rushing over to my desk as soon as a notification sound come to ears, finally receiving a text from an unfamiliar number.

“Hey, this is the girl from yesterday. Are you free to meet today?”

Typing in full speed and with few more text exchange, I’m now standing in front a bookshop cafe and waiting like a anxious little boy which is pathetic. I have seen beautiful women and dated before but none left such impression, possibly because they just want my family’s name and status, not me.

“Ummm hi?"

I blink a few times to try and gather my memory from yesterday, picturing if they are the same person as the girl before my eyes is a lot prettier than I remember- striped top and knotted denim jacket with a waist pleated black skirt just below her belly button. I am no fashion stylist but she sure as hell looks good, taking my breath away when she cracks a smile and asks if I’m okay.

"Yeah, sorry about yesterday.” I murmur, holding out a new box set of iPhone and thinking of an excuse to keep her around longer.

“You don’t need to get me a new phone, just money to get it fixed is fine.”

“Don’t worry about it, it was a gift. Anyway, let me buy you a drink as proper apology.”

The brunette bites her lips, eyes glancing sideways. Wind glistening through her long curly hair with the sun’s rays beaming onto her face.

“Just a drink, nothing inappropriate.”

Watching her smiles only put me on spot further more with full awareness that she knows I’m attracted to her.

“Okay, coffee?” She shrugs and points to the cafe behind. “Oh wait, actually could you apologize in another way?”

Pausing our steps by the stairs, she lifts a textbook up from her hand and pleas with an innocent look.

“I seriously need help with my study, do you mind?”

[willowdidnothingwrong]

answer ALL THE QUESTIONS

sharanya there are a hundred!! but ok

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

No!

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I’m really fortunate that no one has really hurt me since, I guess, high school! And I definitely forgive high school shenanigans because wow, I thought my friends and I were mature then but this was not true!

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

nyan, nyan, nyan! nihao nyan~~~~~

4: what’s something you really want right now?

a really awesome nerd dance party!

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

No!

6: do you like the beach?

I used to love the beach, or any water, a lot! But I had some weird ear injury, and now it’s hard for me to swim much without getting ear problems. So I still really like the beach, but it makes me feel a bit wistful.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yep.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

An aesthetic shot of Bay-Enterprise train station, in my hometown of Edmonton!

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

My summer housing bed, a hotel bed in hartford, my bed at home, my bed at school last year.

10: do you like your phone?

Yes. It cannot successfully type ‘t’ or ‘u’, but this adds to the charm! also I’ve gotten really creative at using words which don’t have those letters so that’s cool

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

I didn’t plan, I guess!

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

I think… a model united nations conference help staffer’s number?

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

why have either when you could have MY DOG. Which I can. (And you can’t.)

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain lasts longer, I guess?

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Art museums, because zoos are nice but they also make me sad when animals aren’t well cared for or don’t have enough space! It would be so sad to live your life on display. That said a lot of zoos care for their animals in an amazing way – unfortunately too often, it seems like this isn’t the case though :/

16: are you tired?

No!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

As in, my first one to ever be added? I guess my parents, so my whole life. As in, the person I’ve texted the most over my entire lifetime? Since high school. As in, the person I talk to most over the phone now? Also since high school.

18: are they a relative?

For the first of my three alternatives.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

No! They’re all great people but our relationships ended for good reasons. I hang out with all of them though.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Wednesday?

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

No, well yes, depending on what ‘knowing’ means! If a 100% infallible oracle told me that this was the right decision, I guess! But if it’s just the ‘knowing’ of the moment, no! It’s good to have a time-distributed sample of ‘knowing’.

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No!

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

zeeero

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

“Je pense, donc je suis.”

25: what’s on your mind?

my head. But also my physics research, and thoughts about people! Mainly about how lucky I am to have acquired Amazing Summer Friends, which reminds me to tell them about why they’re great. **does so **

26: do you have any tattoos?

No.

27: what is your favorite color?

Red!

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

When it happens, I guess!

29: who are you texting?

sharanya it’s you!

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Yes.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Roughly as often as chance predicts.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Honestly… almost all my friends are nonmale? I have like, one, maybeee two male friends I can talk to about serious stuff? But I am in the process of acquiring a new male friend and I’m Really Excited about this!

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Maybe? Unclear!

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

On occasion.

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would be surprised! But good for them!

36: were you single on valentines day?

Yep!

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes!

38: what do your friends call you?

By my first name. or sometimes nerd

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

I guess, but the perturbation led to me reaching a higher energy state!

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Six years ago.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

I don’t think I’ve had a bruise for years honestly.

42: what is it from?

Hence I forget.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Hmm, probably not for three years, when I accidentally wandered into an unfamiliar and possibly sketchy part of Edmonton at midnight through a long and curious chain of events!

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mom!

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

I love converse more than my own sole. (hahaha.) But they break pretty frequently, so whatever pair of converse I’ve had for longest that hasn’t broken!

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No, I only wear one hat and only when I’m feeling cool enough for it because damn it’s way cooler than I am.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i really like hair for dramatic dance moves;;;;;

48: do you make supper for your family?

Sometimes when I’m home, but honestly my mom does way more of the cooking work even then! The balance is slowly shifting in my favour as I learn better to make things my mom likes and get less lazy!

49: does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

50: top 3 web-pages?

mspaintadventures,metafilter, wikipedia!

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Most of my extended family!

52: does anything on your body hurt?

No!

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

Hmm. Usually they’re really easy, but when I’m hanging out with really cool people I’m always so awkward about it because they’re like ‘Bye’! and I’m like “bye…” but I’m really thinking “WAIT BUT YOURE SO COOL WHY NOT JUST KEEP HANGING OUT”

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Green tea!

55: how is your hair?

Wet post-shower!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

grumble, pull my blanket up, attempt to get into a comfortable sleeping position, decide I oughtn’t sleep, turn on my phone, log on to metafilter

57: do you think two people can last forever?

Yes!!! Of course!

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

I was 10.

59: green or purple grapes?

I’ve never given it thought, I just eat them!

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

this reminds me that I have not given a big hug for a long time! so whenever I have the chance!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

I wish cambridge ma were magically transported into canadaland because canada’s great! But Cambridge is nice and I’m happy to be here as it is.

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

Hmm, likely the next five minutes.

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

Sleeping!

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

Reading differential geometry;;;

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

My then-girlfriend!

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Tons of people! My friends K and X and S. B., for a start!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Non non mon ami

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

“Zeta functions…. or hater functions”

(my brain’s dumb thoughts inevitably involve math. im sorry.)

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Not really! Not that everything has been Successful, but a lot of it has and when things haven’t, it’s let me move onto other things which it turns out are hella cool and I really like so **happy shrug**

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

Seven!

71: how many fingers do you have?

ten

72: what is your ringtone?

The default one… but I’ve never turned on my volume ringer, like, ever?

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

21

74: where is your mum right now?

In Edmonton, Alberta! I’ll see her in three days and I’m excited!

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

We lived 9 timezones apart with limited internet access, then turned out to have very different attachment styles! But we’re still like. almost best friends! And it turns out this is a much better dynamic for us!

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Non non!

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yes! Almost all of them, though since I’ve moved countries sometimes not in the frequency I would like. Like I really wish I could talk to my friends B.D. and T.J. more! But they’re both in California time.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

A., who was one of my best friends but in retrospect I was definitely gay for;;;; (A. is most definitely Very Straight.)

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

Yes! My cousin! He’s a great guy and has two AMAZING AND CUTE KIDS who I really wish I could spend more time with!

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes!

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

Definitely one, maybe two?

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

No!

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

No current crushes!

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Yelling at people from car windows is not ok and very objectifying! I am not doing this and if my friends are they’re getting a stern talking to!

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

Yes, it’s probably not a for sure dealbreaker but it is almost certainly a dealbreaker.

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

THE MOVIE HAD AMAZING BABY SPIDERMAN and I got to get really excited with a friend about cute. baby. spiderman. who i love deeply.

87: who was your last received call from?

My mom! Honestly I only call my mom.

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

…no.

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

…knowledge of algebraic geometry? Ok, on a personal level, I wish I was better at talking to friends about personal issues?  I used to be really good at this, but over the past few years I just have been really fortunate and I haven’t really had many personal issues at all! So I’ve become used to dealing with them myself, and I haven’t been very good at this at all.

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

People have betrayed my trust, yes. But I’m happy I trusted them because even if it didn’t work out, the alternative of being suspicious seems too dark!

91: do you sleep with your window open?

Yes! the outdoors is nice and i want it in me!

92: do you get along with girls?

Yes! most of my friends are women!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

No!

94: does sex mean love?

They’re definitely distinct concepts! That said, I would find it pretty impossible personally to consider sex without love!  Definitely that isn’t true for other people and that’s cool!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No! Except neither of us are good at breaking locks oops

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No!

97: did you sleep alone this week?

Yes!

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

So many people in my life! My mom, my dog, my friends are all so awesome! I’m super happy and fortunate.

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

It can probably happen! But people are deeper than their appearance, and I think most successful love probably does not rely on first sight!

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Probably a drunk dutch girl in hong kong who wanted me to pinky promise swear that we’d hang out more?

[getanepipenidiot-blog]

Jesus H Rosevelt Christ

So, I was on the verge of tears today and it just hit me- You’ve never once told me you were proud of me, or in that matter, never once gave me a compliment.

Why would I have feelings for someone who doesn’t verbalize their pride in me? Someone who can’t verbalized their pride in you means they don’t value or appreciate you.

Wow. I can’t believe I never noticed that before. I’ve repeatedly told you how proud of you I was, and recognized your hard work with your job and school, because that’s what you’re supposed to do for one another. You’re supposed to congratulate them, be proud of them, brag about them, support them, reassure them, and love them.

I’ve gotten none of that in return. You don’t know anything about my life for the past 6 months. I’ve been crying over school for the past 2 weeks and you have no idea. You’re supposed to want to see how I’m doing. Once a week is pushing it, but 30 days! Damn son, you forgot about me for 30 days straight? I’m not some toy you can throw away when you’re done using me. We used to text each other constantly, but now it just made me feel like a burden because I couldn’t come to you with my stories, school, or annoyance. I didn’t feel like myself around you anymore. I didn’t feel comfortable.

I’m suffocating with school and all I fucking need is an “I’m proud of you”, a hug, or just a damn check in to see how I’m doing from you. Yes, I asked for no more texting, but Jesus Christ I thought you’d at least just check in because you maybe missed me. I didn’t think I was that easy to walk away from. A small part of me thought you’d come to me to get an explanation. But then I remembered you just don’t care enough about anything to give a damn about because you’re so laid back. There’s nothing about me you give a damn about, not really. You should be with someone that gives a damn about what happens to you or doesn’t happen to you. Didn’t care when I had gotten almost broken into ( thank god I chose right and didn’t call you that night), didn’t care about the fact I didn’t like frozen yogurt, didn’t care that you fingering me was okay at best, didn’t care that broke my heart just by refusing my birthday gift to you, didn’t care that hooked up with other guys, didn’t care that I spent my birthday alone, cold and crying in Malibu. And here I am, sitting here day after damn day, praying that you miss me. Not like, miss me so much it hurts miss me, just, miss me like I crossed your mind for a millisecond. I spend my entire day looking at my phone 24/7 to see if you gave one shit about me to check in with me.

FUCK. It’s such a double standard that I’m allowing. It’s not okay that I constantly give you check in texts or “I miss you” texts, and I get none in return. It’s not okay that we fool around over text but you you leave me hanging for weeks on end. It’s not okay that you no longer make me feel special or put time into our friendship. BEING BUSY IS NOT AN EXCUSE. I fucking go weeks without proper sleep and countless 12 hour shifts, but I will always make sure to text you to make sure you’re okay. No matter what I’m doing or who I’m with, you cross my mind at least once a day.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to sit back and listen to you take about the girls you’ve hooked up with with a damn smile on my face even though it fucking kills me slowly, and at the same time I hate the fact I’m such a good goddamn liar and actress. It’s not fair that I’ve been showing you for the past year that I love you but that you don’t see it, and that I’m tired of showing it to you. What more do I fucking have to do to show you that I give a damn about you?! Tell you I have feelings for you?? Oh wait, I already did that. HOW COULD YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FUCKING TELL YOU HOW MUCH I CARE FOR YOU. ITS ALL IN MY DAMN ACTIONS. Open your damn eyes for once in your fucking life and see what’s in front of you. It’s been a full year, if you couldn’t see it by now, you’ll never see- who am I trying to kid.

It’s in the fact that I always give a damn about what you want. It’s NEVER solely about me. NEVER ONCE have you done anything for me or about me. It’s always me driving us around or having to decide where to go that and to make sure it’s okay with you. Never once have you taken me somewhere because you were being thoughtful or shown that you were paying attention to what I wanted.

omg. It’s like with Joe all over again. I never get treated more than special or with good consideration. It’s always late night drives in the car- with me driving (and paying). Only when you want something is when you’re purposely nice. You only text me when you want to share something like your promotion at work, or the damn fact that you graduated. It’s never about me- you might start off the conversation asking how I am, but we never really talk about how we are. It’s because you don’t give a damn, you’re so superficial. Everything about you is superficial and has no meaning attached to it. The last time it was about me even for a second you texted me first only to completely ditch me two texts in. THAT’S SO FRUSTRATING. You don’t give a shit. You genuinely don’t give a shit. And I’m tired of little boys not giving a shit. I don’t have time for you anymore.

What’s funny is that you guys literally had the most loyal, down to earth, chillest female supporting you this entire time. You never appreciated her and now she’s gone. Joe didn’t care I left, neither will you. You don’t need me to function and I’m not your mother. You can survive without me, but I just hope you realize what it’s like to not have me love you unconditionally anymore. Cause that’s what I did. I believed in you. I wanted to literally kiss away any pain you’d ever had or have. Why should I have such loyalty? I never got any in return?

Loyalty and having each other’s back is everything to me now. I need a partner in crime whose going to hold me down and give a shit about me. If they can’t do that then I’m better off looking out for myself. What’s the point?

I’m past hurt now. I’m onto angry apparently.

Im not angry at you. Im angry with myself for allowing such behavior to continue and mistaking it for genuine care and love. I’m mad because I should have known better to love someone more than I love myself. I should always love myself more. Always. I’m the one that has to live with myself for the rest of my life. Why should I settle for anything less?

I can’t believe I allowed for such one-sided affection. Give me a reason to give a damn about you again. Give me a fucking reason why you’re worth my time.

Fucking prove to me. I want a big ass gesture If we’re ever going to fix this- even if it can be fixed, who knows?

And yet, even after all this hurt, anger, frustration, and emptiness. I still forgive you in my heart. My heart will STILL make up excuses for your behavior. She will still see the good in you. She will continue to take pride in your work and accomplishments. She will still be your shoulder to cry on. And she will still pray for your health and well being more than she prays for her own. She’s irrevocably in love with you. And she’s here for you when you need something from her, but from now on she’s keeping her distance and doesn’t want anything from you anymore. She doesn’t want to spend time with you, talk to you about her day or sit in your lap and hug you tight. She no longer wants to give any part of herself to you, because she just doesn’t trust you with it anymore.

She’s been beaten, broken, bruised and left for dead in the gutter, but she’s still standing. She’ll always get back up. Always.