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hana-the-ghostieee · 1 year ago

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hey hey heyyy! not your typical yorushika post here but does involve them. as in elmy and ojisuma. anyways

sometimes i feel like my interests just bleed and blend into each other, unless they can't. (like i literally don't know how the same person that draws a butt ton of cats and likes to radiate positivity and enjoys kawaii culture and decora and happiness listens to songs about literally just living for music, and having no purpose once you literally can't create anymore, or about losing someone close to you and just having this hole. this hole in my heart they left behind. they used to be the one that could fill the void but now that they're gone i can't fill it, it's this hole that keeps spreading and spreading in the middle of my chest)

i mean let's be real i physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually can't connect Perfume and this like danish pastel aesthetic. or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu with 8/31, the day Amy ran out of ink and oofed himself with the one gay ship i show my support on in the back of my notebooks. (those men. they can break up in front of my gravestone. and my spirit will float around. forever haunting this land. edit: i read The Moon That Breaks by TheHufflebean on AO3 and when i got to the breakup scene i lied on the floor and held my breath for like 5 minutes because well. i don't have a gravestone just lying around. but then i reread the tags and there was a make up scene (which WAS there thank whoever you'd like) and continued reading)

and before any of you people on the wolfstar tag yell at me for not putting any content related to them um click/tap Keep reading please thank you

thanks for wasting your time trying to read this! anyways

there's going to be so many more edits and tweaks and finetunes i can FEEL it

lemme take wolfstar for an example (though yorushika hasn't been bled through, thank whoever you'd like, i will list it as an example. edit: yorushika may have been bled through.)

edit: feel more than free to steal these ideas =w= i'd be a terrible writer, art is my strong suit (tho credit me i guess? idk do what you want i won't be mad if you just yoink it from wherever you see this)

japan? poof. modern au. they move to shinjuku niichome. (japan's lgbt city)

um what else what else what elseeeeeee (sorry brain is scrambled rn)

cats? poof. they adopt more cats than any reasonable person should have. (with minor disinterest from sirius but remus is just INTO IT LIKE HECK YES CATS OR I'M JUST PROJECTING IDK) bonus points if they end up running a cat cafe/cat library

yorushika?

poof.

(okay don't steal any ideas from this point on i'm working on a fic for this)

(go read Letters to Elma and Elma's Diary if you want to make sense of what's going on here! i'd recommend you listen to the full albums That's Why I Gave Up On Music and Elma first though. also trigger warning - the protag for Letters/That's Why oofs himself.)

(also please don't yell at me for making them not sound like themselves, i wrote this at like 1am, i probably suck at writing and i modeled them after the original elma and amy okay thankth)

elmy au, sirius is amy and remus is elma. both are also music creators, sirius suffers from depression, gets told by a seer (idk why. oh maybe remus has a seer friend he'd like sirius to see?? *shrugs*) he'd have less than a year left to live because of a "chronic issue", loses it and [insert Letters to Elma here]

so i'm thinking it's kind of a poa grim situation here, where a bunch of symbols saying he'd die within the year just appear out of nowhere, more frequent than before and then he gets a diagnosis for some heart disease and then above scene plays out

edit: don't know how i forgot this buttttt um in Diary 5/15 Elma says "Life surely has an expiration date. Those were the words I let leak out to him, a long time ago." (him being amy ofc) and im just imagining remus saying a bunch of poetic stuff cuz even though he doesn't do it often, he's a freaking good songwriter then this comes up and sirius just internalizes those words like no other

also i think i've moved on from my Kamisama no Dansu (dance of the gods) phase, on to Ame Haruru (after the rain) and i want to mention a few lines. "another summer without you is on it's way" - i'm assuming this is remus going welp. i guess no boyfriend. it's been a while. (back when they were in school they had summers apart but then they moved in together so they also spent the summers together but ofc now that sirius is somewhere in gotland/farosund/idk remus is just. i guess you won't be there this summer) "finally, the rain fell" - a reference as to how amy/sirius left town before writing what it's like after the rain. and it's counterpart, "finally, the rain stopped" - remus/elma experiencing what it's like, knowing he didn't

more edit: uhm completely forgot about the lycanthropy so assume remus found a forest or something (you know what. it's the forest referenced in the instrumental mori no kyoukai/church in the forest) all the while sirius is in the back (or well lord knows where in gotland) cursing himself for forgetting the thing he does w/ bf every. single month

back to 12am me :P

oh but instead of writing down all the letters and whatever and then getting a box and mailing it off, sirius sends remus letters like individually and consistently so remus also goes to sweden and hunts him down but remus doesn't have any spare paper on him so he can't respond in any way

don't ask me how he sends the letters and how he receives the letters

oh wait i got it nvm! um sirius sends the letters by owl (how could i forget) and remus has a diary (because Elma's Diary) but you know. he's not one of those people that rips pages out of their books (at least in this au that exists in the void that is my mind)

and then he chases after him. literally looking freaking everywhere. sometimes they're 3 days apart. sometimes they're so close you'd be sure they have dora the explorer eyesight but no they JUST miss each other like BARELY by a MILLISECOND like seriously remus can freaking SMELL him but thinks it's like a hallucination (cuz he has been getting those recently, see Diary 8/27) or yk becuz he stole some of sirius' clothes (though on 5/15 Elma also says she can't taste anything so rem can't either. also smell & taste are connected so he essentially just loses the function to smell anything. sign of severe depression =w=)

and then comes 8/31. (machIGAUTTERUNDAYO WAKATTERUNDA ANTARA NINGEN MO--)

sirius is on the pier, opening the bottle of Flower Verdigris/Paris Green/Emerald Green/take your pick.

remus stands at the base (?) (what do you call that part on a dock/pier where you just get on) of the pier. he could recognize that black hair anywhere.

okay googled it

oh wait no that's for a floating dock

i googled it again

...found nothing. anyways

he stands at the base of the pier, at the silhouette sitting on the edge. he could recognize that curly, dark hair from 50 miles away.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!!!"

sirius' head turns. he seems to be crying.

"re...?"

anyways remus runs up to him and [insert nautilus mv epic outro here but instead of the guitar it's sirius and instead of elma crying the liquid water out of her... being it's remus who is also crying the liquid water out of his being][...also nautilus is a wip until they get home][to clarify things remus does not pick sirius up like the guitar. they're hugging so hard you'd think a spine would break and they're maybe kissing and definitely crying]

edit: i sat down and thought about it so um sirius is sitting on the docks like one would sit on a bench (legs dangling off of the surface) and remus just runs to him and drops on the floor, kneeling position similar to the epic guitar/piano outro in the nautilus mv with the thrown papers and they're still crying and the sun is rising because even though amy oofed himself on the dock around the evening on 8/31 here sirius tries to oof himself at dawn, cuz the line "someday, the dawn will break, so try and open your sleepy eyes, because i've pictured them so many times" and then they stand up face each other and then collapse onto each other (like lean onto each other) and then cue passionate kissing (finally) (ooh as the sun rises and parts through the clouds. someday i will try my best to draw it. and um put it here. be prepared for the ultimate pathetic. something idk.)

and right now they're just gay sobbing messes :P

yet another edit: i'm thinking i can find a way to incorporate the lily/remus friendship. so you know the old lady that first appears in Diary 7/5, right? i'm thinking she's at least a representation of lily, though of course in this au she's swedish (along with the other peeps. yk james and peter and severus mhm) so remus understands. nothing. in this au they first meet because lily needed help w/ baggage ig? it's on the ferry to gotland and well her first husband/bf passed on (shown in Diary 7/22, elderly woman says "Man" and smiles, implying she looks back on the memories fondly, and we're expected to believe this was her husband. i'm thinking in this au maybe??? snape/lily was a thing. not sure. write some ship in the comments/rbs i guess) also i'm pretty sure she thought remus was straight and that he lost his gf/wife and is trying to move on too (in case you forgot, he's looking for a certain sirius, which is in fact alive, who is his bf) and on the ship home on 9/25 (i like to think they as in r/s stayed in sweden for a bit longer, taking more pics together and enjoying whatever they missed while looking for each other) they see lily/elderly woman again with her child harry supported by the man she loves, james (aww that would be sweet tho. fluffy jily and wolfstar stuff at the end) (in canon Diary, the elderly woman with her children and the new husband is kind of a symbol for Elma, saying she'll move on and heal and potentially find someone else)

okay i thought about it and sat a bit more. and. remember 8/27? (the blend of fantasy/reality whatever where Elma finds Amy's stuff?) uhm i'm thinking something like that would happen here on 8/31, but ofc with more intervention from miss nice old lady (represented by lily). so she's moved on from her grief and found another love (james) right? well turns out james is still an animagus in this au (how helpful =w=) and lily is just. unsure of what the heck happened. (tho she does get some "help i'm looking for my boyfriend" vibes) until she connects the dots. they're fronking looking for each other before sirius' life reaches it's "expiration date" (though let's be real. throwing away that life would be like yeeting a loaf of freshly baked bread into the bin) so she tells james the master plan. she thinks on the last day of his life, remus would go out and look for him again, unaware of the fact that his boyfriend is literally at the lowest point of his life. so she'd sent out james for remus to follow (under the pretense that that was sirius' shadow, before leading him to the docks where sirius would go like once every like two weeks since coming to gotland to regret whatever he did) and then cue the scene from "and then comes 8/31. (maCHIGAUTTERUNDAYO WAKATTERUNDA ANTARA NINGEN MO--)" it's basically just saaaaaaaaaaaayonaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraa no haYASA DE KAOO WO AGETE. ITSUKA YATTO YORU GA AKETARA, MOU, ME WO SAMASHITEEEEE, MITEEEEEEEE, NEBOKE MANAKO NO KIMI WO, NANDEDATTE EGAITEIRU KARA (yeah i put some lines from nautilus, your point is?) all the while jily are just watching the gay sobbing messes™ from afar, in the forest or hiding in a bush near the base, high-fiving and cheering or something idk

ohkayee back again to me from 1am

oh also remus does write the responses to the songs sirius sent him, and they show each other freakin all the songs they wrote (so sirius shows him the summer grass gets in my way and a loser doesn't need an encore in the "original" notebook Elma finds on 8/27 but again this is wolfstar. so rem runs to siri and then they go back and take all the other stuff. and then remus shows him the pre-8/27 but in this case pre-8/31 songs and then writes ame to kapuchiino/rain and cappucino, kokoro ni ana ga aita/a hole opened up in my heart, yuu ichijou/only sorrow and the wolfstar version of amy because well. he wrote responses to almost the entire album. so close yet so far. and sirius is in the back reading the lyrics remus wrote and is just crying the liquid water out of his body because did he really cause his boyfriend that much pain? IM SORRYBDJSJSBDB DJSJSHEHDHDHDHEVRHFIKSJSJSJEGEUDHSHRJRIDJX DNDJE DDKAJWBBDJDISJABSDN9W72URIROAQHENNSOAOWIWKSKSKWKWKKAAAALSOWKMRRFIUY)

also sirius moves to the inn/room where remus stays in while doing the looketh for boyfriend and songwriting thing. remus doesn't realize how salty his pillow smells until now. (one of the downsides of crying yourself to sleep =w=)

i do realize there are some continuity errors in the way the songs are written, like in this au everything's supposed to happen within the same year, whereas in canon elmy everything happens assumably in two consecutive years (it doesn't explicitly state) and because it's written under two consecutive years assumably the songs would have to be written and sent at different times (especially august, a certain place, moonlight and evening calm, a certain place, fireworks.)

edit: so i'm thinking before the events of any of these. sorry if this ruins continuity in this au or something but like before the events of this remus co-wrote the summer grass gets in my way and a loser doesn't need a encore's songs (the first two eps by yorushika), specifically the ones with music videos except for The Clouds and The Ghost (for the summer grass - Say It. & Fireworks Beneath My Shoes and for a loser doesn't need - Hitchcock, Just a Sunny Day For You & Semi-Transparent Boy) and then when he finds the notebook they sit down and review the non-mv vocal songs thus far (Cattleya, Blooming In That Summer, A Loser Doesn't Need An Encore, Compulsive Bomber & Hibernation and they're all bops)

alrighty back again to 12am me :|

moreeee editttttt: so about the song Dance of the Gods. (because i've been freaking obsessed with it since like August) um there are a bunch of lines i want to include so. in the song at the end of the choruses, there are variations of the line "I don't care, I'll go even further, to a place no one's ever heard of, searching for the moonlight" (being "I don't care, I'll go even further, to a place no one can see, and put up an imitation of living" and "That's right, I'll go even further, to a place no one knows of, searching for the moonlight") and i think that's Elma giving up on creating music to give it "value" and "a life of it's own", and creating music because well it's fun but in this au i think that's remus going I WILL FOLLOW BEEF TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH IF THAT'S WHERE HE IS (not sure why remus would call sirius moonlight tho cuz well he's moony) (okay you know what. sirius looks down upon his ability to compose while calling remus' songs his moonlight and that he was jealous of his skills. remus, being the self loathing person he is thinks it's like a light hearted joke or something. now that his boyfriend is gone he's trying to find this "moonlight" boyfriend saw that he couldn't see, wanting to live out his ideals)

and another edit: so the August, A Certain Place, Moonlight and Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks problem. the thing about the Elmy story is Elma's story takes place a year, i think, after Amy's, so all the songs would be written at completely different times, not necessarily within a few days of each other. i'm thinking sirius wrote August and sent it out to remus and then remus wrote Evening Calm because they sound similar and at first canon Elma imitated Amy before slowly moving on to her own style so these gay messes do too

same issue between Let's Dance and Dance of the Gods - but this time i think Dance of the Gods was written shortly after Let's Dance

and then they go back home which is in Sekimachi i guess (that's the town Elma met Amy so ??? i guess r/s lives there now??? they (elma and amy) met in the cafe (that has since closed down) shown in the rain and cappuccino mv which is allegedly in sekimachi) and live long enough for me not to be able to think about how their lives end because now that i ship them so bad, reading ootp and tdh again would practically (and effectively) traumatize me. i'd be scarred for life. it's like that one scene in nakineko where Kento says he hates Miyo and rejects her in front of the whole class and then she starts tearing up and runs out of the class and Yori follows her and then Miyo is just numb to the pain. she got hurt so bad she can't feel anything. flash forward to when she gets home. *face buried in pillow* [LOUD SOBBING NOISES]

more edit: i just realized. okay so on the last Letter (from 8/31, when Amy runs out of ink) Amy states he quit music once, but Elma brought him back into it, after she showed him some songs she wrote and sung and he described it as (wait lemme pull up the doc) "unerring, faultless light that can only illuminate the night. unimaginably soft, dazzling beyond my wildest dreams, pale moonlight" (ink fades away at the word moonlight) and um now i feel like that's what sirius would sometimes call remus (besides moons or moony)

like no. honey we're gon kill no one today. thank yu. (maybe this is why i read fanfics)

another edit: so you know how i listed here they go home and share the songs they wrote and whatevers?? um now im thinking. remus finishes writing the last 4 songs that in Elma's Diary were written after 8/27 (rain and cappuccino, a hole opened up in my heart, only sorrow and the wolfstar version of amy in case you forgot) and sirius shares his thoughts

so um here

(also i feel like the "still grieving" thing would be remus. just being scared about the fact that bf might just run out the door and disappear again? and feels a lot safer when he wakes up with bf in his arms)

rain and cappuccino:

[first verse] pretty innocent

[chorus] *voice shaking* wow, keeping in track with the theme i see

remus: to be fair, what i responded to had a similar message. ...as if i could let memories of you fade away (no literally like i can't even if i wanted to)

a hole opened up in my heart:

[first three lines] MOONLIGHT BABE STOP IT PLEASE I SWEAR ON THE EXISTENCE OF EVERYTHING I WILL NEVER HURT YOU AGAIN

(for context, the song sirius would've written is false night, whose main line is "I want to open a hole in you", and this song is the response to that, with the main (and first) line "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart")

[end of the song] *lying on the floor, indistinct but very loud sobbing noises*

remus: well i did have to capture what i felt then. more grieving and crying up ahead

(this is by far the most painful song ever it's like a knife stuck in your chest and you take the handle and keep twisting it deeper into yourself just AAAAAAAAA LET ME CRYYYYYYY)

only sorrow:

[reads title] do i bring out the tissues or...?

[first verse] okay wow this sounds nothing like the song i wrote pretty ironic since you tried to literally "live" my life but okay

remus: wait for it

[chorus] okay i sound about ready to cry

amy (or the wolfstar ver):

(before reading/listening) if this is another song about grief i swear im going to go cry alone for the next 5 hours

(after reading and/or listening) *5 second delay* *goes and hugs remus*

(amy as in the song is one of the sweetest songs yorushika has made like ever in their 8-ish years of existence. it responds to the song elma and was written when elma (the person) finally moves on from her grief and now looks fondly back to those days. when her lover oofed himself and she went through sweden crying and looking for him. ...yeah not that sweet but idk)

all the while remus is just writing this and showing it to him like how i do with my art when talking about it with my friends. just "alrightyyyyyyy i did a thing. here. *smacks paper down on table* any thoughts???"

and then [insert healing and fluffy romantic stuff here]

okay thats all for the edit continue reading the thing 12am me wrote

oh shoot now i can't unthink this why T^T

um oh well i guess? i'll probably forget this was a thing anyways

oh but since we're already hereeeeeeeeeee

poof.

ojisuma au

(okay you can steal this one)

(read the novel Plagiarism for context here! the album isn't as important here, it kind of serves as a background noise and also expresses oji-san's experience. oh also yes, the album takes melodies, beats and rhythms from actual songs (as well as their own, in the song plagiarism) so yeah go listen to the album too i guess :D)

sirius is oji-san and remus is tsuma but tsuma doesn't die and they also work together to produce music but what rem doesn't know is siri has been stealing???? all of these sounds??? for the songs he thought was original??? and eventually siri comes to the conclusion that the only original thing he can create is his downfall as a musical artist (essentially just goes through what oji-san does but no dead wife but this is a wolfstar au so no dead husband.) so he does. this is my pathetic replacement for the prank and them not trusting each other. and rem is not happy. (he no trust him no more) but siri then goes and creates the two songs night journey and ghost in a flower because i think oji-san wrote those songs after he destroyed his reputation cuz they sound so different from all the other songs in tousaku (or maybe it was because of nakineko. not complaining it is still my fav movie. there's CATS. there's drama. there's CATS. there's romance. there's CATS. there's magical island with cats. there's CATS. did i say CATS. anyways)

um society as a whole just hates on siri. honestly can't blame society as a whole.

and then he releases sousaku/creation without stealing a thing (applaud for him please. i cant hear you clapping CLAP HARDER) and then *cue redemption arc*

yet. another. edit. : um i feel like adding some stuff so sirius would've written the songs Ghost in a Flower and Spring Thief to celebrate the relationship he had (and will get back) with remus, Night Journey and The Lying Moon as the break-up (but not the like "I'M DONE GOODBYE D:<" kinda songs, more like the "I'll remain here, as you go to the other side" or the "Rain has fallen, flowers have scattered/I still think about your rosy cheeks/as I keep drinking love from a bottomless ladle/It's true, it's tasteless, this thirst that's never satisfied, but you can laugh all you want and say "Is that so?/but I'll be here, just waiting for you") um and the instrumental creation would be a filler, and Robbery and Bouquet would be an allusion to his past self with the plagiarism and the sound stealing and i'm not sure what Eat the Wind would be

and then they get back together ^.^

(ooh but hold on. i feel like making a plagiarist remus and a tsuma sirius)

if the ojisuma au didn't sound as in depth or something know that Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta (basically elmy) is like the most iconic yorushika lore

therefore more people are more interested in that (and i am part of more people :P) (also there's more context in elmy than ojisuma)

wow how the hekk did i connect wolfstar. a fanon (that deserves to be canon) gay ship about two friends in a group at a wizarding school that end up being more with... yorushika. a band that constantly hurts me. as in it hurts GOOD. like go listen to yoru magai and then kokoro ni ana ga aita. (with translations cuz im pretty sure barely any of you guys on the wolfstar or sirius x remus tag know japanese) LIKE STOPPPPPP THAT SONG IS THE DEFINITION OF GRIEF AND PAIN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW N-BUNA, A PERSON THAT SAID HE WROTE SONGS LIKE THESE TO EXPRESS HIS VIEWS ON LIKE LIFE AND DEATH CREATE A SONG THIS PAINFUL. LIKE HOW DO YOU WRITE SONGS LIKE THESE???

edit: i didn't connect them i practically forced another universe onto them (also i may be one of the first people to do this idk i have no idea who else is a big yorushika fan and a wolfstar shipper)

okay that is all i think have a nice dayyyyyy/nighttttttt/timezoneeeeeeeee

wait WHAAA

okay im typing this on mobile and??? you can freaking DRAG PARAGRAPHS???

...why don't they make this with tags i had to use little asterisks when i posted that apparently bots keep following me thing

wow this is like the LONGEST post i've made ever what the hell

wow the amount of times i've edited this GOSH

uhm anyways *hand on hip* *thumbs up* woo! *collapses face-down on floor*

#wolfstar #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #okay it's been a few days??? and um the wolfstar elmy au is???? peacefully coexisting with the canon elmy in my head????#i got scared about the fact that whenever i think of something that stems from canon but becomes something else my viewpoint changes #and suddenly i start hating canon #well when canon is something you love/done by people you love or care about/both #it has been a few more days and i think it's safe to say that the wolstar elmy au can peacefully coexist with the elmy story??? lore??? idk #it has been about a few more days and it is defo safe to say they can co-exist #though i have been thinking about them in this au more than the original elmy #maybe cuz like there's more content about wolfstar idk #my interests. they just blend into each other like the sunset does into the deep indigo that is the night

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cloudninetonine · 2 years ago

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Been on a binge of The Good Place lately, here’s and idea: Player but they have all the abilities and mannerisms of Janet (if you haven’t watched The Good Place, which you totally should, Janet is sorta a mandatory mainframe with the ability to get anyone anything just by asking. She knows all the known information in the universe, she appears when someone asks for her with a little ding noise, she can also be shut down with a kill switch explained with a very funny scene https://youtu.be/etJ6RmMPGko).

Player: “Hello! Im (Name), how can I help you?”

Wind: “Where the FU-“

Time: *glares*

Wind: “-Fuuuurridge… did you come from?!”

I just think it’s be funny.

Hyrule: “Okay, Vet, let’s think about this. They’ve exhibited signs of feeling emotions, they’re clearly learning, I don’t know, something from being around us!”

Legend: “I’m not going on this journey with that thing tagging along, let’s just shut it down and be done with it!”

Player: “I am merely an unfeeling servant meant to fulfill your desires, no hard feelings held if you do decide to shut me down.”

Legend: “See? It doesn’t care.” *approaches kill switch*

Player: “Legend, no no no no NO PLEASE! Aren’t you a hero? Don’t kill me! I don’t want to die! What MONSTER of a hero does this to an innocent person?!”

Legend: “What the-?!”

Player: “Sorry, I forgot to mention that as you approach the kill switch I will begin to beg for my life. It’s just in case of an accidental shut down, to discourage any ignorant parties from pulling the trigger.”

Legend: “Well could you shut it off?!”

Player: “I cannot.”

Wild and Hyrule, under their breaths: “Oh thank Hylia.”

Twilight, who is done with this entire thing: “Great, absolute incredible.”

Wild: “How about we just, I don’t know, don’t murder (Name)?”

Wind: “I second that, they can make explosives appear out of thin air!”

Legend, mumbling in his hands: “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Hylia, for once, just give me strength. Please.”

OKAY I HAVEN'T WATCHED A GOOD PLACE BUT I'VE SEEN STUFF ABOUT IT AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD-

OKAY BUT THAT SITUATION WOULD BE SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THE CHAIN BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT USED TO SUCH A THING AND I FEEL IT WOULD INCREDIBLY UNNERVE ALL OF THEM (But then again why wouldn't it?)

#cloud answers #bloodybloob #BB

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spencersmagic · 4 years ago

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For as long as you’ll have me - SR

i don’t know who owns this gif (i found it on my computer). If anybody knows where its from please let me know so i can tag them.

update: found them. @anepiphany . sorry for not tagging you at first. lmk if u want me to tag u in any other way/change the gif :)

// Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 //

masterlist // taglist

Summary: Spencer learns about love and the importance of communication in the last part of the “I’ve got you”.

Couple: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (I think. I don’t remember being gender-specific but correct me if im wrong).

Category: a bit of angst, mostly fluff.

Warnings: Spencer is a bit toxic (my poor baby is learning but FUCK if he isn’t a bit of a dumbass), idk if spencer is borderline obsessive or just eager but ILL ALLOW IT, sorta deep? idk, i tried to delve into the reasons why spencer is the way he is and i might’ve gotten lost in the way down. let me know if you need anything trigger tagged or warned.

Words: 2010 words.

The rest of the night was a blur. Spencer’s sudden outburst had left you baffled, not knowing what to do. You had finished Spencer’s paperwork, figuring you’d do it anyways since he was so tired.

You would love to be one of those people who burst out in anger when something hurts them, but that’s just simply not who you are. And you kicked yourself for it, wanting to face Spencer, seething, asking him who the actual fuck he thought he was talking to you like that. After all you’d gone through. But you couldn’t. You stayed, silent, immersing yourself in the paperwork in front of you.

Nothing could’ve prepared Spencer for what awaited him at the BAU.

All his life, Spencer has found himself in unlikely situations. Situations from which he had to dig himself out. As a kid, taking care of his mother, he would exhaustively study every single possibility, every single outcome to his actions. He didn’t want anything to catch him unprepared. He immersed himself in textbook after textbook trying to learn as much as he could, trying to absorb every little detail just in case it could help him later on.

He absorbed textbooks, and novels, and poems, and quotes because he was afraid of not knowing the answer. He was scared of not knowing what to do.

But apparently, as he learned about physics, and criminology and the meaning of life, he forgot that he also had one of his own. That there is more to life than work and survival.

He forgot to learn about love, and emotion, and all the other arts. The ones he couldn’t hide behind statistics to understand, no matter how much he tried.

Nothing could’ve prepared Spencer for what awaited him at the BAU.

The emptiness.

As he left the day before, he felt awful. He knew he shouldn’t lashed out, but he was so hurt he could feel it physically, and so tired of never being anyone’s first choice. But most of all, he was heartbroken that you hadn’t cherished the memory like he had.

And it was completely unfair to expect something of you when he hadn’t made any advances either, but he was so scared of being rejected by you. The agent that had latched onto him, who always listened to his rants and statistical facts, who made him feel safe and comfortable.

He felt human around you.

As he entered the bullpen, he felt as abstract as he could. Like he was a drawing, a caricature, mocking the parts of him he despised the most. He felt his skin crawling and, if he didn't know that it was physiologically impossible, he would think his heart had stopped completely.

You weren’t in today.

And maybe it was the exhaustion (to be fair, he hadn’t slept well, instead tossing and turning and thinking about the venom he had spewed at his favourite person), or maybe some external force was making him pay for his actions the day before, but he felt his heart dropping onto his gut - again, something he knew was physiologically impossible but still found truer than anything he had interacted with during the short day he had.

Your desk was empty, and he was terrified.

He cleared his throat, turning to JJ. “Is uhm- is Y/N in?” he asked, voice still, somehow, wavering.

She turned to him, distracted with a file she was holding between her arms. “She called in sick” she offered, saying no more.

He sighed, shakily. He didn’t feel real today. He was merely a concept, forced to float through this specific space-time. Like a ghost.

He didn’t even realised that his hands were moving to his new phone (you had convinced him that he should get it so you two could FaceTime - needless to say, he wouldn’t be hard to convince), and dialled your number.

It went straight to voicemail.

You rarely called in sick, instead preferring not to endure whatever was hurting alone. But today you couldn’t. In some weird way, you didn’t want to be perceived.

Spencers words had pierced your skin, leaving you in pieces. You hated that he had so much power over you. You hated that you had allowed your feelings to cloud you to the point where you would call in sick, preferring to cuddle a pillow instead of a file. Preferring to sleep through the pain.

You had given yourself a day. One day where the sadness could consume you. You would carry out all the clichés. Nursing a Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice-cream tub and watching The Office. Wrapping yourself like a burrito in a soft blanket. Trying to cry it out.

You had always been very in touch with your emotions. You always tried to make sense of them, clearing them from your mind once you untangled them. You needed today, you were sure. As soon as today was over you would go back to the BAU, and face everybody like any other day. You’d bring in whatever cute gadget you had found for Penelope, you’d make sure Spencer had his coffee when he was tired... You’d be back to normal.

You needed today.

He didn’t feel real today.

His feet shuffled as he moved to Hotch’s office, mumbling something about finding you, and then left, leaving Hotch perplexed at Spencer’s mindless assertiveness.

He kicked himself for feeling so slow as he got to your apartment. His mind was going at a thousand miles per hour, but he felt like he was empty, no real thoughts in his mind. All he had was vacant ideas, not a trace of clarity in boy genius’s mind.

He knew why he had treated you like that. He knew it was wrong. But he was so confused and scared. He didn’t want to hurt you and he didn’t want to lose himself in his love for you. But he had.

He stood in front of the door. His hand twitched at the idea of knocking on the wood in front of him. His knuckles felt bruised at the idea of softly brushing them over your cheek, calming you down once again. His fingertips shook like they had a consciousness of their own, the lingering memory of your skin against them as you sighed contently becoming too much for him to handle.

He was so scared of not being good enough for you.

He brought his hand to his face, rubbing it furiously as he kicked himself once again.

His knuckled knocked on the door meticulously, methodically, like he had done a thousand times. The soft mumbling of the tv was the only sound coming from the apartment. Once again, as if he’d been possessed, he grabbed the spare key you had gifted him dramatically after you’d fallen ill, “in case i die”. He kept the key, figuring you would tell him when you wanted the key back.

You never asked for it.

He opened the door, which halted a few inches after he started moving it forwards.

“Ouch! What the fuck Spencer?” you exclaimed as he hit you in the face with the door. You lifted your hand to rub the area he had hit.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” he cradled your face like he had done a thousand times before, fingertips finally finding your skin. They sighed contentedly, he was sure, like they had just returned to their home. Like they would curl up with a book in the crevices of your features, soaking in your greatness.

You shuddered softly, so softly he probably wouldn’t’ve picked up on it if he weren’t on edge.

“Yeah, I’m fine” you sighed, cursing your voice for betraying you, wavering from the tears. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not exactly mad. No. You couldn’t be mad.

You would love to be one of those people who burst out in anger when something hurts them, but that’s just simply not who you are.

His hands fell from your face, like it burned, like touching you one more second would turn him into ashes.

He felt human around you and he had hurt you.

Words spluttered out of him nervously.

“Y-Y/N. I lied to you.” he started, finding himself mesmerised, lost in your eyes as you looked up at him, eyes teary and wide, red mark on your forehead, and biting your cheek. “I lied to you, I- I-” his mind searched for the words that could accurately describe the millions of thoughts that were swarming his head.

“I lied, and we promised to never lie to each other. But I was so hurt, Y/N, so scared. I’ve never felt like this before.

You know, men are much more likely to fall in love at first sight, representing a 48% chance in contrast to women's 28%, but I never thought I would fall into this statistic, being a man of science. I’ve always picked the people around me carefully, meticulously, not letting anybody in. But when I saw you something clicked. I needed you in my life. And when you started talking to me - no one had ever treated me like you did, so openly, so incredibly unafraid - and i became completely mesmerised by your existence.

You know-” he chuckled lightly, nervously, recalling his thoughts, before throwing caution out of the window. “I did question the existence of an infinite deity, one that could justify your beauty and greatness, but, again, i’m a man of science. I had to get to terms with the fact that you were completely human. And its- its so fucking confusing” he shut his eyes sharply, trying to understand “ Its so fucking hard to see you day after day, knowing you could never feel the same way” you opened your mouth to interrupt him but he stopped you.

“I meant what I say yesterday” he watched your face fall, eyes tearing up once again. “I meant it. You know me. I would’ve done it for anybody. I would’ve helped anybody in pain. That’s what i’ve always done. But you’re not anybody. You’re so far from being just anybody, from not being special. In fact, you’re the most special person I have ever met.

It is unclear how many words there are in the English dictionary. The mere fact that our language is constantly changing, being shaped by our society, doesn’t allow an accurate count. The average english speaker knows approximately 42,000 words, and uses half of those. And the common unabridged dictionary has as many as 300,000 entries” he stopped to look into your eyes, his own otherwise roaming all over your face, trying to make sense of you. “I don’t think there are words to describe what I feel about you, Y/N”.

You grabbed the crook of his neck with one hand and the side of his face, and brought him closer to you. “Can i kiss you, Spence?” you mumbled. The words barely left your lips as he crashed onto them, somewhat messily. You didn’t want it any other way.

The kiss was soft, gentle, apologetic, and, above all, understanding.

You definitely needed to heal, talk and understand each other’s struggles. But, for now, this was more than enough.

You broke apart, pressing his forehead against yours and his hand landed on your lower back, bringing you impossibly closer to him.

Insecurity swarmed his head, rushing words once again. He cleared his throat. “I-I’m new to this, Y/N. I’m bound to fail over and over again. If you want someone else, you need to tell me. I can’t handle another heartbreak. I might lash out like yesterday and hurt you” he mumbled softly, eyes closed, breathing her in.

“Spencer, I’ll have you a thousand times. I’ll want you for as long as you’ll have me” you chuckled, leaning in for another kiss. “I would get hurt a thousand times if it means i get to have you, Spence”.

They had each other, and that’s all that matters.

---

if you liked it please consider liking, reblogging, following or sending me a message telling me how much (or how little :( ) you liked it. my praise kink ass thrives on notes.

super cool kid taglist:

@lady-anon-x @inlovewithbabygirl @username2002

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9tzuyu · 4 years ago

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‘run into me sunday’

1/2

summary: natasha wants to help, you have no other option.

warnings: this fic deals with the topic of anorexia, so please don’t read if this may trigger you. yes im projecting my issues into fics again im sorry.

notes: future wanda? idk :p

tag list: @natasha-danvers

requests are open.

natasha was articulate with everything she did. whether it be something as big and important as a mission, or something small as organizing the research she was studying. she was careful, picked up on all the small things other people did in life and remembered them.

so when it came to her attention you were beginning to skip meals, she didn’t push it to the back of her mind and forget about it. instead, natasha treaded carefully, tried to push you lightly to have breakfast with the team or stay for lunch – to spend time with everyone at the dinner table.

but when nothing worked natasha confronted you. she didn’t expect it to go well, she knew it wouldn’t, but the redhead didn’t think you would completely disappear on a four month mission the next say.

there was nothing she could do after that. except wait.

during the four months of your absence, natasha took her time to better educate herself on how to help a loved one with an eating disorder.

don’t be too pushy.

don’t not push at all.

leave the person be.

offer support.

force feed the person.

inpatient recovery.

there was no solid answer as to how to fix you and that bothered nat, more than she liked to admit. it was a tricky situation, but natasha knew you – knew you before your eating disorder. so rather than listening to every little thing every eating disorder resource website said, she figured to trust herself.

the redhead almost forgot about the house she bought. she rarely ever went there because it was so far away from everything and everyone, but her house seemed like the only reasonable option for you.

the week before you came back natasha spent day in and day out cleaning up the place so it would be ready for you. she removed the guest bedroom mattress, per a rule that you would have to sleep with her so she could monitor what you were doing.

when you arrived back, you were in worse shape than she expected you to be. your suit hung heavily atop your body, loose and unfitting. your face was gaunt and sunken in, your hair was thin and your nails were tinged blue. what was most surprising was the smile on your lips as you greeted your teammates.

you’d completely missed the worried glances wanda, steve, tony and everyone else held. you were too excited to be back, ready to perfect yourself even more. surely no one could see any kind of difference, right? you couldn’t. 35 pounds lost and you still felt the same.

wanda was the first to hug you. her hugs were the warmest. an overwhelming urge to protect you overcame the witch as she rubbed her hand up and down your sickly body. her fingertips met with the aggressive ridges of your spine.

bump after bump after bump.

the witch pulled back and kissed your forehead. “i missed you.”

“i missed you too, wanda.”

the rest of the team welcomed you back in their own ways, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward – out of place even. your footing with the group didnt have the same grip as it once did.

twenty minutes later and you returned to your room only to find that your stuff had been packed and loaded in suitcases. panic began to spark in your body and you scrambled to your bathroom. pushing away bottles of advil and pepto bismol, your laxatives were nowhere to be seen.

“i took them away, if that’s what you’re looking for.” a voice came from behind you.

your eyes fell on the redheaded spy leaning against your bathroom doorway. her arms were crossed, but her face remained unreadable.

“why?”

“i think you know why.”

“i-i don’t understand-“

“you’re coming to live with me. away from here, away from everyone else.” at this, you huffed and rolled your eyes as you shoved past natasha.

“this is non negotiable y/n-“

“i know how to take care of myself, natasha.” she chuckled. “yeah, if you call slowly killing yourself self care.”

you didn’t laugh, instead shooting her a glare that told her to get the fuck out of your room. when she didn’t budge, you moved to push her out but to no avail. your muscles had weakened significantly the four months you were away. natasha slightly faltered the second time you shoved her, but her movements were nothing past that.

biting your lip, you looked into natasha’s emerald eyes. her eyebrow was raised and you knew there was no getting out of the inevitable.

without warning natasha pulled you in her arms.

“lets talk.” she murmured quietly. you tensed, but followed natasha to the edge of your bed.

“you’ve got two options. either way you’re benched indefinitely. the first choice you have is to be admitted to a facility that specializes in eating disorders. there, they will be a lot more stricter than what i have planned. your second option is to come live with me. you’ll be expected to eat three meals a day. you can talk to me, or i can find you a therapist and you can talk to them if you feel that is more beneficial or comfortable.”

by now you’d moved to rest your head in natasha’s lap, her fingers rubbing your scalp ever so lightly to ease your anxieties.

“every option you have, you have a say in. i don’t want you to feel forced, but i cannot, will not stand by and watch you do this to yourself.”

there was a gap of silence before you finally spoke. “when do we leave?”

“tonight. everything is set in place for whichever you choose.”

“i’ll go with you,” you sighed. natasha smiled above you before bringing you closer in her lap. “okay. let’s get going.”

#natasha romanoff imagine #tw: eating disorder #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #avengers x reader #avengers imagine

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professorxsmokesweed · 3 years ago

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btw everyone whos following me this is a sideblog so im following back & replying from my main!!! (@lucky-lesbian)

more info about me under the cut!!

this blog has gotten more attention than i expected so hi!! i’d figured i’d do more of an introduction!! :D ~i am a lesbian! ~any pronouns i do not care!!! ~same goes for names, on twitter i go by teddie but i dont really give a shit what you call me you can use anything in fact if you do make up a name for me i will treasure it forever💖 ~i’m white, and 24! ~sorry if i start a convo and then just randomly disappear i’m really busy irl right now so often i am checking tumblr with the 5 minutes i have free and then i have to do a task again! i’m not ghosting or anything ~on that note i am also really forgetful so if i don’t respond to something and it’s been like 3 days i would appreciate a gentle nudge it’s more than likely i started to type a response had to do something and then forgot💀 ~my tagging is haphazard at best but if you need something tagged for a trigger please let me know i will work very hard to tag it properly!

#💖💖💖💖

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years ago

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I have spent far too much time on ao3 recently and have decided to make a list of the weirdest/best tags and finally decided to post it as a final fuck you to this entire decade, please enjoy

- “penis swag”

- “smut with feelings”

- “I swear to god this is not crack”

- “Jarvis is a dapper house elf”

- “probable misuse of federal accountancy”

- “cuddle spores”

- “blatant disrespect of a mans motorcycle”

- “unnecessary comparisons to animal planet during sexy times”

- “abusing the tagging system?”

- “no zombies were created in the harming of this story”

- “clintucky fried chicken”

- “the tags make this look way weirder than it is to be honest”

- “this is capital S Soft”

- “I dont know what straight means”

- “flowers have MEANINGS people, LEARN THEM”

- “apologies to actual Canadians, I know youre pros at invading the united states”

- “The midwest is kinda weird”

- “I spilled the sad in my porn”

- “sharing toothbrushes is weird and im not sorry to tell you that”

- “nothing serious here”

- “I could be working on one of my 50+ wips, but no here I am writing some bullshit”

- “I should go back to writing instead of adding tags”

- “im not spell checking this crap”

- “I hope none of my future psychiatrists see this, nor any of my future employers”

- “hello future historians this is what happens in the head of someone with adhd”

- “I mean theres a coffee related plot which lasts about 500 words”

- “wizards are assholes”

- “I wrote the tags before the fic and now I realize the stoy didnt went the way i wanted it to”

- “the fanfic equivalent of Well That Escalated Quickly”

- “emotionally unavailable acrophiliac murder machines”

- “omg thats a real tag”

- “really terrible twilight puns that im not even remotely sorry about”

- “I dont do human science so im allowed to make some shit up”

- “everyone should just hug man”

- “non-consensual masturbation of humans by dolphins is a real thing, my tour guide said so”

- “canon compliant to literally nothing”

- “assholes in love”

- “id like to apologize to the entire greek pantheon, except zeus cause fuck that guy”

- “trigger warning: Africa by toto”

- “st. petersburg is in Florida not russia”

- “the cheesiest flirting you'll ever read”

- “appreciate my puns”

- “its not a coffee shop au if most of it takes place in Tony Starks kitchen”

- “actually theyre kinda married”

- “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

- “im just letting this story take me wherever it wants to go”

- “superhero frathouse skyscraper”

- “no tentacle sex”

- “but no dogs kissing”

- “look- lady and the tramp gives meezers a bad rap okay?”

- “inadvisable medical practices”

- “dont try this at home kids”

- “saps in love”

- “accidentally living together”

- “just bros being bros”

- “bromance to romance”

- “all of the pop culture references”

- “mature tag for eventual violence, and also profanity because we’re all adults here for the most part”

- “getting banned from walmart”

- “the kicked out of Walmart list”

- “bribery through coffee and pizza”

- “no baloney sandwiches were harmed during the making of this fic”

- “SPAAAAACE”

- “no idea how long this will be - but it will probably be a stupid long thing”

- “space opera”

- “slow burn but it forgot to be slow”

- “seriously people, helmets are important”

- “inadvisable road safety practices”

- “accidental baby acquisition”

- “I summarize six months in a paragraph, for plot reasons”

- “monstrous abuses against perfectly good bedframes”

- “super smash bros, bucky needs to thank that game for his relationship, pikachu helped him realize that hes gay”

- “some sketchy ass explanation because reasons”

- “sex will be had while wearing olympic medals”

- “i have been informed by many parties that this is ‘very fluffy’”

- “murder strut”

- “fuck you flowers, not that kind of fuck”

- “actual trash”

- “literal litter”

- “compost couple”

#ao3 tags #ao3 #fanfic #thats a wrap on 2019 folks

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tomsrebeleyebrow · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! Can I ask for a blurb where the reader is insecure about being in a relationship with someone bc she's afraid of getting hurt due to domestic violence that happened in her family so she tells Peter about it and he comforts her? I definetly get it if you don't feel comfortable about writing or if it's a trigger to you, hope you're having a great day/night 😊

A/N: what a heartbreaking request 🥺😢 but in this house, we always provide happy endings even when talking about harsh subjects. so here it is, dear nonnie 💕 all of you out there, care about yourself and never hesitate to talk about it, please. stay safe sweethearts 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

A BIT ANGSTY BELOW (MENTION OF VIOLENCE), SO BEWARE! (FLUFF ENDING)

You’ve been in love with Peter since the beginning of secondary school but never dared to confess. Your shy nature always took over in anything you did, acting almost like a shield, a shield you slowly built around yourself year by year to protect you from a lot of things: stress, love and mostly violence.

But how were you supposed to know Peter would actually confess to you once in high school? You still recalled that day when the nerdy boy came to find you at the school library as he somehow knew you would be the only one there at that time.

And you accepting to go out with him definitely shocked your friends, and your own self. But you and Peter were undeniably the cutest couple that could exist, and anyone would agree on that. Two awfully cute teenagers in love.

But something was wrong and Peter felt it - not with his Peter tingle. Even after going out for now four months, you acted a bit strange towards the boy when he got rather close to you, like when holding hands or even sitting close next to each other. Your body seemed to stiff automatically, your facial features tensing as you then began stuttering about weird and nonsense words. As if maintaining some distance between you two on purpose. Mostly, you haven’t said to Peter the three famous words he magically told you to ask you out. He was always the one saying them, hoping you’d say it back to him too but without pressuring you.

I love you.

But still, you never did.

Despite whatever people say, Peter was really observant - this time thanks to his spidey senses - and he was determined to understand what was going on one for all. You already refused to hang out to his apartment multiple times, so the boy asked you for a date on Saturday, only consisting of sitting in the nearest park next to where he lived, to chill around like normal teenagers.

Arrived that day, you both casually sat on a bench drinking soda Peter brought along for the date. People were coming and going in the park, children running after each other on the grass and dogs playing at fetch. A normal Saturday. As you were talking about the next chemistry project of next week, Peter gulped before gently interrupting you, still not too abruptly.

“Err- (Y/N), can I ask you something?”

“Sure Peter, what is it?”

Peter took a deep breath in, hoping to gather some courage and finally spoke again.

“Alright- don’t take it the wrong way, okay? B-but like, I wanted to know- uh... does going out with me bother you? Like I know I’m kinda awkward- okay, a lot actually, so you may have forced yourself to not turn me down... But it’s like you’re building invisible walls around you when I’m near you, w-well that’s how I see it, so you don’t have to-”

Suddenly Peter’s rumbling stopped as he glanced back at you, since you didn’t say a single word. And that was when he noticed you, head low and hiding between your shoulder as if to disappear, and looking away from him.

“Oh God- I’m s-so sorry, (Y/N)! I didn’t mean to hurt you! A-At all! I-I just wanted to understand-”

Peter rumbled again, frantically moving his hands around because his intention was definitely not to upset you, and now he was scared he definitely fucked up any of his chance for you to open up to him.

“... I’m sorry.”

Your voice was like a shy whisper, barely audible but Peter caught it, and cut himself off, almost shocked but mostly confused. Still, he decided to let you talk.

“You’re not the one at fault here, Peter, but it’s me and only me. I just- I-I’m scared...”

You rearranged a strand of hair behind your ear, something you usually do when you’re stressed, your hand slightly trembling. When you finally dared to turn your head back to Peter, you could perfectly read in his eyes he wanted you to proceed in your explanations. So that was what you did.

At first, you were still torn apart from talking about that matter with Peter or not but then, the look in his soft coffee eyes almost screamed to know more. That was Peter, always here to help someone in need. And this time, Peter wanted to help you desperately, the one he grew to love more every day he spent with, to reassure you, to comfort you. At all cost.

So you opened your heart to Peter and exteriorised the morbid thoughts that settled deep inside your being long time ago. How trusting people and getting close to them became nearly impossible since your dad started beating your mum during harsh arguments. Even when you closed yourself in your bedroom, you could still hear her pleadings and cries mixed with your father’s screams. Closing yourself in your wardrobe didn’t change a thing. Your nights got more agitated, nightmares being more frequent than actual dreams, and you kept praying every night to not get hit in return. For nearly seven years, you endured all this violence towards your poor mother, who couldn’t do anything but only plead you between sobs to not say a word to anyone, at the risk of you being in danger too. Even when your dad left you both, your trust towards men was just inexistent and, as sadly as it sounded, Peter was now paying the price of this.

The boy listened to you until the end, carefully and quietly, his eyes never leaving your face. Each of your words etched into Peter’s mind, a heavy feeling soon growing inside of him as your story kept going on. Anger. Not towards you of course, but towards that person you still called “father” who dared to violate your mother in front of your innocent self for so long. Anger towards that paternal figure who made you fear men’s presence near you. An extreme anger because due to that traumatic experience, you were even scared of Peter, your own boyfriend.

But that anger slowly faded into sadness, because dwelling on your though past brought back some bad memories you tried to forget after all these years. And that was when Peter understood he would be the one left to pick up all the pieces of your hurt self, to gather them one by one and finally be able to put them back together.

“(Y/N), look at me please.”

With glossy eyes, your head slightly raised back to look at Peter again, cheeks also a bit red from keeping your tears in. Gently, Peter extended both his hands to you, palms facing the sky. Intrigued, you looked at him before slightly putting your hands on his to rest.

“No one in this word deserve to go through what you did during all these years, (Y/N), and for sure neither you deserved it at all. But remember that I will never raise a single hand at you, that my hands will only provide you comfort and warmth when you need it. And I promise to cherish and protect you from whoever would hurt you in any way. I want you to fully trust me, and I know it may take some time but I don’t care. We will take baby steps and we will make it, okay? Together. I can’t just let you deal with it by yourself anymore. You’re so dear to me and deserve to be happy. Please (Y/N), let me help you-”

As Peter basically forgot how to breath during what sounded like a second love confession, he got interrupted when you threw yourself into his arms. That actually caught the boy by surprise but he didn’t dare to circle his arms around your body, not really knowing how you would react. But he quickly changed his mind as soon as he felt your small hands tightly grip onto the back of his shirt, so his arms gently surrounded you to bring you closer. He rested his cheek on the crown of your head while yours lightly pressed against his torso, his heartbeats soothing your agitated soul.

This was during the embrace you finally knew what you needed to know after all this time: everything would be fine, as long as Peter was by your side.

“Thank you, Peter. So much.”

“I’m here, (Y/N). And always will I be for you.”

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

@allegra-writes @tom-holland-is-spiderman @detroitbydark @blissfulparker @farfromhaz @xxtomxo @worldoftom @charismas-world @stiles-banshees @americaxo17 @zabdisamor @princezzariel @mcuassemble @thatweirdomimic @juliebean247 @harryhollandwhore @spiderbibby @intiate03 @himynameishooman @bookworm06 @flowerboyparker @miraclesoflove @eridanuswave @jillanaholland @mendes-marvel @biebsmylife95 @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @tsh-darling @popbubblegumpop @fanficscuziranout @beiroviski @langdonlovey @markleehee @riverxholland @tomhoran @itseightbeats @xxrebelswithoutacausexx @rubberducky-jrr @howdyherron @jacobsppsleeve @lovewolfspirit @saysomethingspiderman @yoongi-holland @xxrebelswithoutacausexx @quaksonhehe @the-crazy-fanfictionist

#staysafecheerup #blurb event #blurb #peter parker #peter parker request #peter parker blurb #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker reader insert #peter parker oneshot #peter parker one shot #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #spider-man #spiderman #tom holland #stay safe

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watermelonsugawara · 4 years ago

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welcome! ( ˘ ³˘)♡︎

[general info]

❥ to put it simply, this is an 18+ blog! minors dni or don’t let me catch u

❥ matchups, hcs, scenarios, thirsts are all welcome! (sfw + nsfw (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞)

❥ I end up writing fem!reader a lot, but I’ll work on more gn!reader, as well as different ships (poly is welcome!) please request gn!reader otherwise my brain is wired to do fem! lmfao sorry

❥ i don’t write full fics — i have nothing against them, but i just like writing smaller pieces aka my brain isnt big enough for a full-blown storyline lol however, a request may inspire me to start one! who knows at this point MDKSJSJJD

[request info]

❥ just a fair warning, im very slow with responding to asks or fulfilling requests. im a senior in college so my life is pretty hectic outside of this blog, but i love it very much! pls be patient w me; i wanna give good content and if that means im slower with responding/putting out content, im gonna do that!

❥ i reserve my rights to deny a req! i’m not obligated to fulfill every req in my inbox

❥ i do reply to the denied requests just to let yall know that i won’t be writing it; i don’t wanna leave yall wondering

❥ If you send requests on anon, please try to leave an emoji so I can tag you; I’ll make a list of emojis when there are multiple!

❥ if you send a request while while requests are CLOSED, theres a chance i’ll keep it in my inbox until theyre open/im bored or inspired enough to write it

[restrictions]

❥ What I will not write:

coach/student pairings

large age gaps

underage nsfw (all characters are aged up unless stated otherwise; if theyre not aged up then its sfw!)

gore/scat

incest

explicit abuse; it may be mentioned retrospectively in a softie request

❥ i also do not write any hcs/fics involving drugs, nothing against drugs but i just dont have that type of knowledge to accurately portray it (alcohol/drinking is mentioned on this blog; always of age)

❥ i reblog dark content, and i am in the process of trying to write darker content, if that makes you uncomfortable, block #triggering content

❥ I do not write smut for these characters:

lev

hinata

aone

❥ nothing against them, i just cant see them in sexual situations LMFAOOO sorry!! sfw is totally fine with me!

[softie requests]

❥ I wasn’t sure what to call this!!!!! JFKSJDJDJ but this is just a cute way of me trying to comfort yall in the best way i can. I FORGOT WHO I GOT THIS IDEA FROM ill tag them once i remember. Ok anyways if you request a softie with a character of your choice you’ll get a little headcannon/drabble about how they’d comfort you through a difficult situation.

Ex: can I pls request a softie of Akaashi and fem!reader and he comforts her when she fights with her mom?

❥ You can go as in-depth as you need to so I can properly write your softie requests! I just wanted a fun lil way to give yall some comfort and luv somehow :)

[matchup info]

❥ for matchups, send your name and any info you’re comfortable enough to share! Such as...

Zodiac sign

MBTI

Enneagram number (if you know it)

Interests

Personality traits

Hobbies

Physical traits: height/build/hair color/eye color/etc

Clothing style

thanks for the love! i’m excited to keep writing for yall! ♡︎

✍︎︎ [updated on sept 20, 2020]

#alli's rules

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darkmasterkattsvault-arc · 4 years ago

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PSA

mun info:

katt / dmk / master || they / he || 26 || eastern time || more info

google doc (contains rules and muses)

rules || navigation || temp active muse list || muses || birthdays || ships

key info:

under cut for length please read (not all is covered in the doc)

1) triggers / tagging

now, if you read my rules/ooc page, as you should have, you’ll know i have a few that i like tagged for myself. with that said, i tend to tag most every triggering topic in ‘trigger tw’ format cos blacklist picks that up a lot easier. alcohol by itself is often not tagged, same with drug use. alcoholism, addiction, etc is.

never feel bad about coming to me to get me to tag something. i swear i’ve read your rules, but i do sometimes forget or i don’t know where certain lines are. because where your limits are and where mine are, are different. so let me know if you need me to tag something.

with that said, a lot of my muses have triggers in their history that often comes up. transphobia, abuse, addiction, self harm, anxiety, depression, sexual assault, and eating disorders/disordered eating are actually pretty common. if these are something you don’t want brought up but still want to write with a muse, let me know and we’ll avoid all that completely. but i can’t avoid it if you don’t tell me.

i don’t write actively non-consensual things, usually because many of my characters have dealt heavily with situations in their past and because it’s hella uncomfortable for me to write. if i ever do, it will be tagged, probably, ad nauseam. i do tag whenever abuse, rape, etc is mentioned but i don’t tend to go into details. however, i do write a lot of kink and some of it can be seen as more forceful in nature. if y’all need me to tag that, or anything at all, please let me know. if i ever miss a tag on something, feel free to drop me a message, on anon or in IMs, however is best for you. i’ll make sure i go back and tag and make sure to take extra care to tag it in the future. if you need me to tag something in a different way than i am, all you gotta do is message me. i’m a chill human, i promise. i don’t bite.

2) transphobia / misgendering in threads

so, i’m okay with initial. minor, misgendering for nonbinary muses, between characters (and by this i mean like once, twice tops during a first meeiting). someone mistaking a muse like joss or ash for a woman, kieran for a man, etc. or a muse like ziv who isn’t out being referred to as woman until they come out to a character. totally fine.

with that said, i won’t tolerate obvious, repeated offenses. i understand accidents happen, but i would like you to put in that effort to get their pronouns right. certain muses will refer to themselves in gendered ways and that’s then open for use. joss, for example, will refer to themself as a boy so another muse could do that after the fact.

now, a muse like quinton, on the other hand, there is no base for misgendering him, he is a trans man and unless otherwise plotted (in very specific instances) i won’t accept misgendering of him.

i will also write out situations where muses are dealing with transphobia from NPCs, especially quinton, given his source material. for more information about quinton and his transphobia storylines, read here.

3) shipping

high key just tell me. i am usually down for ships to happen. often times i’ll ship something but feel awkward telling you that i ship it despite really liking the dynamic. i’m a shy bean. just know, if you choose to ship with me, i will hit you with feels like a metal chair to the face at likely any moment.

4) ooc chatting

speaking of being a shy bean and hitting people with feels, i fucking love to chat ooc but i also have really bad anxiety and don’t always know how to reach out to people. including people who message me first. i also often have a varying, but generally low, threshold for ooc conversations but especially with people who are not already within my bubble of friends (this bubble is occasionally one person big and they know who they are). it’s literally not y’all. sometimes you’ll message me and i just won’t have the threshold needed for that message and it might sit for a while. always feel free to send me another if it’s been a few days, cos i also might have opened it and forgot. you’re not annoying me, i promise. also, feel free to ask for my disc # if you have that, cos i’m always on there.

5) memes / inbox things

i am the literal worst at replying to shit in my inbox. at this moment there are 40+ things in my inbox. most of those have been there for months. i’m sorry. i’m baymax. i’m slow.

6) reply length / reply time

my reply length and time it takes me to reply is going to vary so drastically. sometimes you’ll get a novel reply in half an hour, or you might get a paragraph after 3 months. it’s not a lack of interest, i promise, but i work with what the muses give me and sometimes a muse is on fire and sometimes the muse is gone. and i promise, if i ever want to drop a thread i will let you know. with that said, don’t feel bad about taking a while to reply or if your reply length doesn’t match what i’ve given you. sometimes i write a lot of filler because my brain thinks it’s needed. it’s usually not, but you get it anyway.

7) starters

feel free to just randomly throw starters at me. or go through my open starter tag (ostart) and reply. it doesn’t matter if a starter is months old or already has replies, feel free to add, i can always make a new thread for tracking purposes (if you do that). if you do, i can’t always promise a quick reply, cos the muse might not always be there, but i will see it and i will love you and i will launch the muse at the earliest convenience.

#ooc: hush now dmk #ooc: pinned post #[just so that's easy to find if i ever pin an announcement]

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ritualmichael · 6 years ago

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Stress Relief - Michael Langdon x Reader

ive been getting a lot of requests for shower smut and at first it was going to be really rough sex but uh, that didnt happen. michael going down on the reader is just my weakness im sorry. blame the Tongue Thing.

warning: female!receiving oral

It had been a long day at work, stressful meetings and too many deadlines to even remember. You had been waiting for the moment that you would finally get home to Michael, knowing he would help you forget all about it. When you got home, the entire place was empty, or so it seemed. Walking into your bedroom, you sat your stuff down on the bed and heard the shower turn on. You figured that he must’ve lost track of time and forgotten that you would be home now.

Without a second thought, you tiredly kicked off your shoes and made your way to the bathroom, opening the door. Walking in, you could see the shadow of Michael’s body through the shower curtain. You quickly stripped off your clothes, letting them join Michael’s on the floor.

Gently pushing the shower curtain back, you stepped into the shower and caught a glance at Michael’s toned back before he turned around. Running his hands over his wet face to wipe it off and pushing his long hair out of the way, his eyes ran over your bare body.

“Well, this is a surprise,” he said, a smile on his face as he reached out, pulling you closer to him by your hips. The warm water began to fall on your body, making you shiver. “How was work?”

“Stressful,” you groaned, dropping your head against his chest and letting the water drench you. He pulled you into him, his hands running up and down your back as the water poured down it. Steam was rising out of the shower, making the haze and warmth surround you both.

He hooked a finger under your chin, making you lean back and peer up at him. Droplets of water ran down his face and you thought he looked ethereal. He leaned down and you met his lips with yours, letting out a long sigh of relief at his touch. His hands pressed into your back, holding you against him and you moved your mouth with his in a perfectly delicate rhythm.

“Let me make you feel better,” he said as he pulled away from the kiss, ducking his head down into the crook of your neck and planting kisses to your skin. You simply nodded, letting your eyes close as you felt the stress starting to dissolve at his touch. He always knew the right things to do.

He gently guided you against the wall, the cool tile making you jump. You felt him chuckle against your neck, nipping at your skin before pulling away.

“Sorry, forgot about that,” he said and you watched as he kneeled down on the shower floor. His hands moved to your lower back and eased your hips forward, his mouth meeting your stomach as he started to leave wet kisses on your skin. You dropped your head back against the wall, letting out a content hum and slipping your fingers into his wet hair.

He trailed his sloppy but slow kisses down until he reached your lower stomach, pulling away and pushing you legs apart gently. You watched as he hooked his hand under one of your knees, lifting your leg up and letting it rest over his shoulder. You reached down and one of his hands quickly met yours, helping hold you steady since you were now only standing on one leg on the slippery tile floor.

“Just relax for me, baby,” he said lowly, turning his head and beginning to kiss your thigh that rested on his shoulder. His teeth nipped at your delicate skin and his tongue dipped out with every kiss. You pushed your fingers through his hair, moving it out of his face so you could watch his slow work against your skin. The thick air already made it hard to breathe, Michael’s touches just making it harder.

You couldn’t help but push you hips forward, a small whimper leaving your lips. You loved every moment of his slow kisses against your thigh but you needed more. The water was slightly falling on the both of you, enough for it leave streams of water rolling down your torso and down his back. The whole moment just felt heavenly.

He looked up at you, tsking under his breath at you. “I said relax, didn’t it?”

You uttered a weak “sorry”, releasing all of the tension in your body. You were glad you had the support of his hand or otherwise your leg probably would’ve given out by now.

He watched as you did as he said, humming in approval and moved his mouth to your lower stomach. His parted lips grazed down your wet skin until he reached your core, making you gasp. A shiver ran through your body as he pressed his mouth to you, his tongue gliding through your folds. The water streaming down your body met his mouth, making you moan as you saw it wetting his lips and running down his chin.

You tightly gripped his hand that was holding you up, letting out a breathless moans as you watched him work his mouth against you, his eyes lazily opening and looking up to meet yours. God, his mouth. He always knew what to do and how to make you feel unexplainable.

He let out a low moan, the vibrations running through you along with the pleasure of him gently sucking on your clit. His tongue lapped against you, your wetness and the water dripping from your body collecting on his tongue. His eyes fluttered closed as he kept moving his mouth against you, wet sounds coming from his lips. Your breathing was uneven and you moaned with every exhale, your body warming up from the feeling of Michael between your thighs.

“M-more,” you whined, grinding down onto his mouth and he surprisingly didn’t hold you back. Your words only set him off more, sinking his tongue into you and his nose pressing against your clit as he buried his face into you. His eyes were closed and you swore that you had never seen him look so blissed out before.

His tongue worked in and out of your entrance, deep moans coming from the back of his throat and you started to feel your stomach twist in those wonderfully warm knots. Your hand that rested in his hair gripped at his roots, a loud moan leaving your lips when you felt him drag his tongue along your folds and his lips wrap around your clit, beginning to suck. You weren’t sure which one of you would be more happy to stay in this shower for the rest of the night, you or him.

Michael only teased your clit for another short moment before pulling away, completely breathless. He looked up at you as you squirmed, whining at the loss of contact when you felt like you were so close. His lips were plump and shining with your wetness, water still dripping from his face. You watched, holding back an obscene moan as he ran his tongue over his top lip. You already craved his mouth between your legs again.

The shower was still spewing out warm water over the both of you, making you sweat from the continuous heat. You tried to guide Michael’s head forward by your grip on his hair but he didn’t budge.

“P-Please,” you practically moaned out. Your orgasm was clawing at you for its release. “I’m so close,” you said, trying to get him to help you.

Your weak voice must’ve been enough for him because he reached between your legs with his free hand, dragging a finger through your folds and teasing your pulsing entrance. You couldn’t help but push into his touch but he withdrew his finger as you did. He slipped his fingertip into his mouth, sucking it clean as if he had dipped his finger into the icing of a cake for a little taste. It nearly drove you over the edge.

“The sweetest girl in the world,” he moaned out, leaning forward and rocking your body back against the tile wall as he buried his mouth into you again. Your fingers gripped his hair tightly, rolling your hips against his mouth as he lapped you up and flicked his tongue over your clit. Your chest quickly rose and fell as you fought for breath, moans falling from your lips every time you rolled your hips against his warm mouth.

Michael must’ve known you were ready from your desperate movements and how you gasped his name because he began to moan against you, his hand gripping your thigh that slung over his shoulder to open you up for him more. The feeling of his moans against your sensitive core triggered the tightness in your stomach, a wave of pleasure coursing through your body and your muscles almost gave out completely, but Michael’s hand that was holding yours moved to your hip, pinning you to the wall. Your loud moans of his name echoed throughout the bathroom, your head against the wall and your back arched.

He kept mouthing at you throughout your high, moaning when you came on his tongue. Although your orgasm seemed to rock through you for a while, you quickly became sensitive to the feeling of Michael’s tongue, letting out a breathless whimper, unable to utter any words. Michael knew you well enough to know what you were trying to communicate, running his tongue over you to get the last taste left and pulled away.

He eased your leg off of his shoulder gently after leaving a few delicate kisses on your thigh, making sure to hold you up by your hips in case you were still weak. Standing up, he eased you from your spot on the wall and you eagerly pressed your lips to his. He hungrily kissed you, resembling what he did between your thighs moments ago. You moaned into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue, pressing yourself against him.

When you both pulled away to catch the breath that you both desperately needed, you reached up and ran your fingers over his plump bottom lip, blushing as you thought about what had just occurred. He pressed a kiss to your fingers, giving you a smirk.

“Feel better now?” he asked, knowing fully well that you felt better than you had in days.

michael tags: @dudesorriso @silkyhoneybaby @avesatanaslangdon @moonagecordelia @lucifer-owns-this-pussy @sodanova @romanoffkittens @heelsamizayn @kaigitana

#michael langdon #american horror story #american horror story: apocalypse #ahs: apocalypse #ahs #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon smut #smut #michael langdon imagine

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fluidityandgiggles · 6 years ago

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 3

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Last Chapter

Notes (I guess): This chapter was a nightmare to write but I’m just so happy I finished it. It also touches some subjects that will come up again in the future, for the sake of letting everyone process the events. I’ve experienced grief and it’s going to take a long time before this particular subject could be discussed again. See yourselves warned.

Again, credit to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for screaming at me to write this, and to @whatwashernameagain for Keep Him Safe, and also a tiny tiny lil bit to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual for their general support and for being such great sports about me annoying them with my ideas… (oops).

(I’m trying to find a way to write my notes, so bear with me until I find a way that will stick. This will do for now.)

(KHS) Tag List (sort of): @em-be-lievable, @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2, @adoratato, @supremestoverlord, @royallyanxious, @madly-handsome, @hanramz-the-fander, @the-incedible-sulk, @poisonedapples, @virge-of-a-breakdown, @winglessnymph, @princeanxious, @smokeyrutilequartz, @im-bad-at-life (if any of you could tag the rest, please do! I’m improving my memory from day to day, but… yeah…)

Tag list: @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter also includes discussion of two rather tragic (in my opinion) real-life events, and very few mentions of food.

—————

"Today, we're going to do things a bit differently."

Saturday, October 12th, 2002

"Raise your hand if the idea of coming out, even if you're already out, terrifies the living hell out of you."

Almost all hands flew up.

"Raise your hand if you understand the dangers of staying closeted too."

Pretty much everyone took their hands down. Only very few stayed.

"Last week," India said after a long breath, "we lost… the community lost one of our own. We… we lost someone to hate crime." She lowered her hand. Remy was almost in pain, seeing her try to talk about it. She called him last night, asking him if it's not going to be too much for him (and if so, she has another thing planned). "Gwen Araujo was seventeen when she died because she was outed as transgender in a party."

"Wasn't this released, like, two days ago?"

"Yes, and that's why I want to talk to you about this. Just… excuse me. I wrote it all down… it’s kind of a tough subject..."

It took India a minute to settle her voice, and another couple seconds to fumble with some papers. "I'll bet you all remember where you were when the World Trade Center fell in September eleventh last year." The room fell into silence. "I'll also bet none of you remember where you were on new year's eve in 1993."

Remy knew exactly where this was going.

"It could be because you were nine years old, which is the case for some of us, or you were already in bed by ten. I know my parents insisted that I'd go to bed by ten that night for a couple reasons. But on December thirty-first, 1993, we lost another member of the community. His story was turned into an Oscar-winning movie, but l can assure you none of you remember where you were when Brandon Teena was murdered for being born a girl."

The chatter was back. Remy could isolate some of the comments. Not most, just some. And it hurt. The ones he managed to isolate were not good, but one was much louder than the other.

"Can you really compare the murder of thousands to the death of just one person?"

"No I can't. But what you fail to realize here is that I'm not comparing anything here. I'm just trying to bring up a subject—"

"And you're using the tragedy of others to—"

"I lost family in September eleventh. I'm well aware of the tragedy. I'm also aware of the fact that transgender people are killed at ridiculous rates and this is something we should discuss!"

The silence after that was incredibly unbearable. India was close to tears, and Remy… as much as he wanted to go hug her, he couldn't.

It was that painful.

"Today's topic was supposed to be discrimination and hate," Remy heard someone shouting into the air - one of the juniors probably. "We do this conversation every year. Please listen to what the poor girl has to say. She's only volunteering to do this, on top of—"

"That's okay, Chris. I don't need an advocate."

It was going to be a long meeting, and Remy was not looking forward to it.

—

"I'm sorry I didn't speak today."

"You did alright. Sometimes doing nothing is a good thing."

India was incredibly frustrated when they finally got to Kirkland House. Remy insisted on going with her, to make sure that nothing else happened. She called him a gentleman for doing that.

It was sweet of her.

She ranted a bit about a guy who lived on the same floor as her (Jared Kushner or something) who was a dick to her and tried flirting with her girlfriend all the time, she told him that she applied to get a master's degree in forensics at Georgetown after graduation, and then they reached Kirkland House.

"You can get back to Harvard Yard from here, right?"

"Of course. Who do you think I am?"

India kissed his cheek and waved goodbye, and went into Kirkland House. And then Remy was alone. Well, not entirely, he still had to go back to Weld Hall and call his dad, but…

He was alone.

The yard wasn't as crowded as it was earlier and the weather was cooling down considerably, the leaves were changing… Harvard Yard was a beautiful place in the fall, Remy learned quickly enough.

He had very little time to process his thoughts when he was almost tackled to the ground by a tiny blonde kid almost running in the direction of the exit. Aka, the main road.

"How is it that when we're outside of class we keep running into each other in the weirdest ways?"

"That's less weird than how my grandparents met," Emile said, breathless.

"Not what I said, babe."

"No, really! My grandpa was coming back to Amsterdam from London just as my grandma was on her way to London straight out of Auschwitz, and—"

"Can we keep this story for another time?"

"...sure." Emile gave Remy a half-smile. "So… I kinda have to go to Party City. I need to stock up for Halloween."

"Didn't you go there two weeks ago?"

"Yes, but they didn't have this one thing I really needed, and I kinda forgot a couple other things, so they told me they'd call when they got that thing they didn't have, so I'm going to pick it up!" He was… incredibly jumpy today. It was rather endearing. "You wanna come? We can go get pizza."

"What thing are you missing, exactly?"

"A wig! I'm gonna be Kim Possible."

He was so excited… Remy started feeling bad for being this confused.

"...what?"

"Kim Possible! Don't you— you know what, it's okay if you don't know. It only came out in June anyway." The half-smile turned into a full, bright one. He was adorable. "So, you wanna come with me?"

...well, he had nothing better to do for now.

"Sure, sunshine. But I need to get my wallet and phone first."

"Yay! Anyway, so Kim Possible is this show, it's on the Disney Channel but trust me it's not that bad… "

—

Emile was growing on Remy more and more each day. And… he may have started getting interested in Kim Possible after going out for pizza with him. The never ending energy was growing on him in a way. It was impossible not to like his enthusiasm, and…

Yeah, he was starting to grow on Remy.

"So, now, lucky that I'm vegetarian, right?" Emile said as he took his third slice of pizza. "So at least I have some sort of excuse, at least according to my aunt, but we just keep having to explain to them what kosher means and—"

"Are we still talking about your sister, Emile?"

"What?"

"We were talking about your sister and then you started talking about… well…"

"Oh! Yeah, sorry!"

"Please stop apologizing. You're not doing anything wrong."

"Right. Umm… so… Doctor Gilliam suggested I might want to get evaluated at the psych clinic sometime soon," Emile mumbled, straightening his glasses. Slightly more closed off. Making Remy feel real guilty. "I don't… I don't know why, but he said I might want to."

"And you're just gonna take him up on that?"

"Yeah? No? I don't know. I'm only sixteen, honestly, I'm gonna have to talk to my parents about this."

Sixteen?!

"Yeah, I thought I told you!"

...shit. He spoke out loud. Shit.

"I'll be seventeen in December. But… never mind. Do you think I should listen to him? About the evaluation?"

"I have, like… no idea."

The way back to Cambridge was full of even more chatter about everything and nothing, and Remy couldn't put in a word. Not that it mattered anyway. Emile was interesting.

Remy gave his input whenever he could, but he would much rather listen to Emile talk. He had an adorable voice

—

"You didn't call me last week, kiddo. Found yourself a guy?"

"Dad, please…"

"Do you think you're going to take her up on that offer?"

"Dad, daddy, papa, David, any normal person when answering the phone would ask how are you doing. Not if you hooked up with a guy or if you're going to babysit your sisters who you've never met just because your bitch of a woman who birthed you asked you to."

"When have we ever done anything normal, Remy?"

"Well… true. But no, I'm not going to take her up on that offer. I don't really care, to be honest."

"They're your sisters."

"And so is India but you don't see me trying to—"

"You haven't told me much about her, kid."

"Well… she's not doing okay lately. Did you see the news? About that girl in California?"

"Edward Araujo?"

"Gwen."

"Right. Sorry. It's just… the news."

"It's okay. But… India is losing it over this case. And honestly… I get her. It's terrifying to see someone of your kin just…"

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But really, did you hook up with anyone?"

"Nah. Dad, I'm eighteen. I'm not you."

"Hey, your mom got pregnant with you because of this one time when we were seniors when she had an empty house this one week in December and threw away my condoms when I tried to—"

"Dad, that's disgusting and please don't bring this up ever again."

"Got it. But anyway?"

"...there's a guy in my major, his name is Emile—"

"You gonna ask him out?"

"Dad, no! He's sixteen."

"And he's a psychology major?!"

"I asked myself the same question. But yes. He is."

"Well, I mean… he's within the appropriate age range for you. I guess."

"...what is it about I don't want a relationship at this stage of my life didn't you hear?"

"You're eighteen, Remy! One day you're gonna find someone and—"

"That's the thing. I'm eighteen. I have many more years ahead of me."

"Okay. Whatever you say. Any other boys I should know about? Girls, too, if you're into them now?"

"Just… this one guy. His name is Chris, he's a bit older… I don't know. Should I really be talking to you about this? You're my dad!"

"Am I not allowed to be interested in my son's love life anymore?"

"You weren't this interested in it when I was in high school."

A long sigh. "Remy…"

"I know you're worried, Dad. Believe me, I do. But I'm doing just fine! Rashida has dance parties every Wednesday for some reason so we bond over that, Lucy is basically just my map to going everywhere, we haven't hung out that much, Sammy is being a cutie all the time and Katherine is obsessed with everything. She really likes Emile's bunny for some reason and keeps talking about how her niece and nephew would absolutely love it. Her niece is two years old! I just…"

"Sounds to me like you're making friends."

"Well… yesterday I went with Emile to Party City. I don't know what I'm doing for Halloween this year, but…"

"What was that you just said?"

"If all goes right, I'll be Jack Skellington. But I don't have a backup."

"What would you need a backup for? You'll do great!"

"So, how's your girlfriend?"

"Eh, I don't know. Elaine isn't… that… you know."

"I'm sure she's absolutely lovely."

"Yeah, so was I. Can't wait for you to meet her."

"Can't wait either."

"...are you sure you don't want to babysit Linda's girls?"

"Dad!"

"Just asking!"

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: food mention #tw: mentions of (real life) murder

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