#I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HUNGER AS A HORROR OR INTIMACY THING NOOOO
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you could literally start talking abt the grossest shit in my tags and I'd start clapping honestly pls do ramble
people who dont want to see talk of the intimacy and eroticism of horror and gore dont click read more vbjdhfdfvj
ougugghghhghghg goes wild its the intimacy and inherent eroticism of gore, sorry if this is a bit incoherent im tired but maybe I will dump more in your ask box another time bvjhdfd, for me its a sort of like fucked up thing between trusting the person to put you back together afterwards and wanting to be understood in a way nobody can without literally taking you apart, I guess kinda similar in a way to like wanting people to know about your trauma in a self destructive way, thats what a lot of it is to me that makes it interesting is the art of self destructive clearly unhealthy codependency dynamic between consumer and consumee, test subject and scientist, im not gonna put my own year old poem here bc it needs some revisions vbjdfd but to summarize it talks about being loved through the restraints binding you, and being seen as what you truly are, some mass of meat, and them taking you apart and loving you anyway. they will see you laid bare, more vulnerable than you have ever been, and they will make the choice that you deserve to stay, or in the case of cannibalism that they want you to be their nourishment. That in trusting you to take them apart, you are trusting them to sustain you. its really fucked and interesting to me. The idea that consumption or vivisection or similar are some warped sort of love, the same sort of way that people will abuse others and say theyre doing it because they love you, is very interesting to me. obviously its bad but its the only comparison I can draw here and its an interesting thing to explore in fiction. its a type of love that is obsessive and destructive and painful and violent and thats why its so interesting. And again referring to that poem I wrote last year "and you wish you could be a better test subject. and with the blood on their hands and a smile on your face you thank them. after all your life is in their hands." and "theyve been inside you more times than you can count, and something about that is so appealing. to be taken apart. to be examined. to be understood. oh how invasive. you long for it" and the fucked up eroticism of instead of having like idk bite marks or hickeys or whatever shit on you you're covered in scars from their invasiveness and tests, showing just how much you belong to them and just how well they know to put you back together. After cutting away everything vulnerable, after getting to just the bones (and maybe even cutting away those too), after seeing the abomination you are, they put you back together anyway, again and again. In both a metaphorical sense of like exploring trauma and trusting the other person with that and in a fictional but more literal sense, it is quite literally exploring the other person, and its incredibly intimate, and requires so so much trust.
#tw vivisection#tw gore#long post#tw sa implied#?#uh not to get too personal#but for me thats another aspect I sometimes like to think about of it#because trauma#like I cant word it well right now too tired#but this other person is probing around and inside you and its intimate#and maybe thats not always the best thing#and uhhhh yeah#tw abuse mention#im so sorry if I forgot any trigger tags please let me know if I did#I hope this doesnt become the thing im known for on Tumblr vbjdfhbd nobody reblog this /j#tw cannibalism#almost forgot that one o(-(#this feels like a good time to point at my pinned post bvjdhbfdjhdfj#sorry I say weird shit sometimes im just so happy to be alive#I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE HUNGER AS A HORROR OR INTIMACY THING NOOOO#ITS OBVIOUSLY TIED INTO THE CANNIBALISM STUFF#BUT I GUESS ILL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT ANOTHER TIME#I LOOOOOVE HUNGER AS A STORY MECHANIC#and also like the desire for bad things to happen to you so you have an excuse to like feel bad and stuff#and just like yeah trauma stuff#its a weird kind of self loathing wanting to relive your trauma because it feels good in a bad way#idk#feels bad in a good way ?#shrugs#you probably know what I mean
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