#im so sleepyyy ToT

[solisung]

OH MY GOD

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED SUNSHINE ANON'S LAST ASK I WANNA CHOKE MYSELF WJDJWICHWJDM

sunshine anon i am so sorry :( but at least i screenshotted (?? is this right?) it before i deleted it. i was answering you but i forgot what i was talking about on my last answer, so i saved it as a draft and then tried to remember what it was, but tumblr still has many bugs on my device so when i entered the "sunshine anon 💘" tag and my answer (the one i was writing) appeared i thought i had "answered" you already, so i deleted the answer but your ask was gone as well 😔 im so so soooo sorry for it i really didn't mean to delete your ask but since i screenshotted (??¿) it before let's just let this pass lol

HERE IT IS AAAAA

this will be E X T R A long and im so sorry for that, really TT i hope im not a burden to you aaa

okay so let's pretend this part ahead (except the ask for obvious reasons?? lol) doesn't exist. thank you

"BIPPIDY-BOBBIDY-BABY" OH MY GOD WJFJWJDJSJ YOU REALLY ARE THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND I JUST ???? HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THIS CUTEEEE

ummm im fine i think? or getting fine, idk exactly. today was the weirdest day ever omg and of course! you always make me feel better 💕

it's so strange to live the same day everyday :( aaaand about that ... i really don't know exactly where i should start.

so, on that day, i didn't say more than 10 words at school, because i don't really have friends and i felt like i was being ignored by the entire world ?? and, later, during school break, my ex came to me and told me some things and then asked me to come back to her. she told me that she really does love me, and that after i had to break up with her she just couldn't stop crying, which is something she had never done for anyone before. or at least it's what she told me :') i can't tell exactly if what she was saying was the truth or not, because i was with her through so many crazy things and i can say: she lies sometimes just to convince people. sometimes it's really necessary (so that nothing bad will happen to that someone or etc), other times she just does. and i am almost sure that she told me these things just to get me back. idk, something just tells me that this seems a bit off and skeptical. plus, i don't think i want to come back with her, because of those lots of homophobic things *only* my mom told me on that day she came over, and i don't really want to hear what my dad, who's a lot moodier than my mom, has to say. neither my brother or my schizophrenic aunt who lives with us. i actually am the most open-minded person here in this house, if not the only one. i am broke enough after everything my mom said and she is still the only one who talked to me about it. anyways, i am worried about what they can tell her, what they can do to her, and what they can do to me, as their daughter. i am just so worried and anxious i can barely talk to her like i did before, and this is making me even more anxious because i feel that i am making her feel worse everyday and i can't help but blame myself and continue avoiding her thinking she deserves something better than this. i am a total mess, i'm sorry :(

yeah, i am okay, i just feel really bad for her. i hope you're okay as well btw! 💕

oH that's really cool! i'm currently trying to get more into ateez and the boyz as well. they are sooo talented and seem sympathetic, i like them 💗

oh, my day... as i said before, it was a pretty weird. but it's okay, i'll say what happened today ❤️

i was kinda quiet during the beginning of our classes, until our break. i met with some of my friends from another class, and i haven't talked to them in what seems like years omg. it was great and i was finally saying things other than "present", "okay" and answering our teacher's questions. bur then we had to leave again since we're all in different classes. and when it was over and i was at my class already, my ex came and she gave me some sweets. it was kinda awkward tho, but it's okay. and after that, when i was picking my material from my backpack again, i realized a girl who sits close to me had a jungkook picture on her phone case. i just went to her and said something like "..... is that jungkook" and she said "yES" and we became friends lmaoooo

moving on to when we were leaving school,my ex told me that she would be alone at home and asked me if she could come over, so that the shouldn't be alone and would have someone to be with and etcetera. i said okay, b u t there's the thing. i had decided to go mcdonald's with some other friends and my brother and i totally forgot that. (here's what we did: we went to mcdonald's some hours before my singing classes and when it was time for me to go me and my brother would leave the remaining boys decided what they would like to do after it.) aaaaand to make everything even worse, i can't contact her. she doesn't have a cellphone, neither telephone at home and i don't have any near relative's number as well. and i just remembered of her when i was heading to mcdonald's already. :(

it was pretty fun tho, we recorded some random things, we were kidding a lot, joking at many things and... IT WAS SOOOO HOT 😞 AND SUNNYYY I EVEN TOOK THIS PHOTO WHEN WE WERE THERE AHDHSJDJX

i really liked this photo btw c:

after my singing class i can stay a bit longer (long story and this is long enough lol) so i decided to record some videos/audios (they're actually videos but the screen is just dark and there's only me singing so idk what to call that) and after i was done the both of us left and we were just talking about some random things and deciding if we would buy some sweets to eat or not. in the end we actually didn't, because in front of a store (I don't know the word in English and i can't find anything... my battery is running low so i don't have much time to search, but it's a place that they sell things for your living room, your bedroom, decorations... things such as sofas, beds and etc) we almost got assaulted by two boys near my age. we are fine, they couldn't get anything, but we're traumatized, specially my brother who was assaulted before. we entered that store to sit and rest for a while and we called our parents. my dad came to get us home along with my other aunt who lives in front of our house. when we got home i uploaded those videos on twitter and i tried to calm my brother. after that, nothing extraordinary. but still, today was definitely crazy.

anyways... how about you? how's life going? and how was/is your day going?

thank you for making me happy once again, angel. i love you i💕

[malakhai-ozera]

 Discord Text Thread || Khoman  ♥  

Discord thread featuring: Khai and Roman @romanbeckett

When:  December 24th (day & night)

Mentions: Landon Davies @davieslandon

Description: Roman texts Khai to forgive him after his voicemail. They start texting again later in the day and Khai is beyond fucked up and Roman once again expresses his concerns for him.

Trigger Warnings: HARD drug use, drug mentions, light sexting and dirty talk.(sorry this one is kinda looooong)

Roman. babe. You’re forgiven. Shit happens. I just worry...which is one of my issues. I worry constantly about everything. Always afraid something will happen to you.

Khai. I know, and I’ve been real careless. I didn’t mean to be a shit I was just... being stupid and fucked up I hope you know I really don’t have a problem with you staying with Landon. Idek what my deal was

Roman. are you sure it doesn’t bother you?

Khai. I’m sure baby. I just want you two to have fun

Roman. I’ll still see you there tomorrow right?

Khai. of course you will. Fancy pjs and all lol

Roman. oh my god I can’t wait lol

Khai. me either. It’s gonna be an amazing day for sure

Roman. I’ll be off work soon and I’ll bring us dinner

Khai. I look forward to it! I’m starving plus I really wanna kiss you

Roman. I reallllly wanna kiss you too. Maybe we can sneak in a quickie

Khai. maybe huh?

Roman. okay definitely, because I want lol

Khai.

hahaha well I’m always down baby. You know I can’t keep my hands off of you.

- Later that same day -

Roman. I miss you already

Khai. Miss you too

Roman. dinner and messing around was fun though. Best Christmas gift ever.

Khai. it was fun indeed! I couldn’t agree more

Roman. are you okay?

Khai. yeah I’m okay why?

Roman. idk just checking. I feel guilty now that I’m not there

Khai. don’t feel guilty. I have my drugs and hot chocolate to keep me warm haha

Roman. ooo what drugs lolll

Khai. Just the usual. I also have my tequila so I’m set lol

Roman. damn. I do wish I was there

Khai. I always wish you were here. But it’s okay. We will make out all day tomorrow

Roman. yesss. Can we cook a late night breakfast for dinner together and watch Christmas movies

Khai. absolutely! We can do whatever you want baby

Roman. I'm having wiiiine

Khai. mmm what kind?

Roman. it's a good ass Pinot

Khai. oooo im jelly I’m half way through my tequila advent calendar haha I got behind

Roman. Lmao omg babe!!! How much have you has?? lol

Khai. like 6 so farv ? Lol

Roman. FARV 😂

Khai. oops haha

Roman. I am laughing. I love you lol if I was there, I’d be in your lap right now.

Khai. I love you mooooore yeah you would

Roman. thighs on either side of you, straddling you with my forehead against yours, running my fingers through your hair...

Khai. damn baby... don’t make me come there and crash your party

Roman. SHSUSJEJEJEJENEJDJJE why is my boyfriend so HOT

Khai. because you were a good boy this year? haha

Roman. well we both know THAT isn’t true lol

Khai. hahahaha well then idk. But my boyfriend is pretty fucking sexy too though and lord knows I’ve been baaaaad

Roman. we got lucky  now if we could just keep our damn apartment

Khai. I know... that would be nice wouldn’t it? can’t have it all though I guess lol

Roman. I still haven’t found a place and I’m stressed

Khai. yeah, idk where I’m going either. Maybe we can go look together after Christmas

Roman. yeah, let’s do that. Bleh. Anyway, don’t wanna bring down the mood!! How ya feelin?

Khai. I’m feeling goodz how you feeling?

Roman. goodz too  I feel all warm and buzzy

Khai. hahaha dammit I’m glad baby. I want you to have fun just not to mush fun haha

Roman. I won’t have too much fun. Not without youuuu

Khai. good. Cause J like the sound o g that

Roman. babe you’re wasted aren’t you

Khai. yes I am ll I misssh you

Roman. omg mish. That’s so cute omg. I wanna hear you say it

Khai. nooo hahaha

Roman. mish mish mishhhh

Khai. you’re so mean lol but I love youuu

Roman. noooo I just think it’s adorable lol I love your typos. They make my life better.

Khai. Mhm you mage my life begetter. I should prolly stip drinking now hahaha

Roman. You probably should babe

Khai. that tot out of hand fasty lol oops

Roman. fasty omg you’re SO cute

Khai. lmao wow I gives up

Roman. I’m just imagining you saying all of this outloud, and it’s like making my night

Khai. hahaha I’m glad. I’m imagning you laughing and it’s making my nifht too

Roman. my squawking laugh  god

Khai. nooooo it’s the bstes laugh wver and beast smile too

Roman. I would argue that YOU have the best smile my love.

Khai. Nope nope

Roman. UM *picture of Khai’s smile*

Khai. I look liek a weirro

Roman. WHAT you’re crazy lol

Khai. I’m crazy anout youuuuuu I wanna snugs you

Roman. me too. I love snuggling with you every night and it’s so weird when we don’t like !!! I’m so used to going to bed with you.

Khai. it is weird. Indint like it but Im gonna sleept in y it bed

Roman. sleep in my bed any time you want love. You’ll like the new book I have

Khai. ooooo I wish you erre here

Roman. I know. I do too. I miss those eyes. I also miss your scruff. That sounds so dumb, but I love the way it feelssss

Khai. I love yyou I’m gonna scrufff you up when I se you

Roman. scruff up the inside of my thighs PLEASE AND THANKS

Khai. you know j will

Roman. god I love when you give me beard burn

Khai. I thinks that the hottest thing yku ever said to me I want you sinebws

Roman. what can I say? I just love your head between my legs

Khai. I love it too baby. I luv makings you deel good

Roman. ugh I’m starting to get buzzed now lol

Khai. hahaha dinally this whol room is so pinky spiking lol yup nvm haha

Roman. it’s so what?? Hahaha spinning? Lol

Khai. yessum Jm good

Roman. bleh I worry about you.

Khai. I’m oka I promisee I hust miss you

Roman. I miss you too. So much baby. Keep talking to me so I don’t have to miss you even more.

Khai. what ya wanna talks about? Tell me ykyr favorite chrismas present

Roman. you won’t believe me if I tell you lol

Khai. yesss I whll

Roman. everything you got me. You know me so well. I’m obsessed with all of it. Ugh. The jacket, the shoes?! The freaking clock. You really did so good.

Khai. really? I’m so hapy you love it. I just wanted you to gave the best. You lok so good in those shows too

Roman. you know exactly what I like and feel good in.

Khai. cause I lover you

Roman. I love you too. How are you feeling?

Khai. sleepyyy but good gaga

Roman. baby I’m worried about you.

Khai. why? I’m fdine im jus laying in bed

Roman. i don’t like that you’re doing heroin

Khai. romsn it’s ojay

Roman. but you’re not even making sense

Khai. I ehould jus got to bed

Roman. maybe but bleh idk I’m worried and I should be there

Khai. no no, eont worry. I wsnt you to have fun.

Roman. I know but ugh. I love you.

Khai. I lowe you too idknt wanna hpset you

Roman. will you promise me you’ll try to stop?

Khai. fan we talked about tbis latr?

Roman. yeah of course

Khai. I jus imn so tucked up byt I wanba talk

Roman. I know

Khai. I love yky so mhch

Roman. I love you too.

Khai. I relly sm sorry. Ilm do better. Pleas have fhn tonight okay

Roman. I’m worried to death about you

Khai. I orimse Jm ok. I just nee to skep it off

Roman. okay

Khai. Smile is chrismaaaas

Roman. lol okay, I smiled

Khai. good boyyy

Roman. lol hate you!!

Khai. I knoooow but you lve me

Roman. I definitely love you

Khai. you’re my everything

Roman. Khaiiiii. You’re making me smile so much it fucking hurts lol

Khai. I mean itttt you’re all I ever need

Roman. god I think my heart is gonna explode lol you constantly wanna kill me

Khai. nooo baby. I just want you tk know how mych I love you and I am feelig better so thahs good well jot better but less high lol

Roman. lol!! Well. Bleh. Scared me there, not gonna lie.

Khai. I’m sorry baby I know I newd to stop it’s jus hard

Roman. i know.

Khai.

We can talk about this after the holiday tho. I don’t wanna ruin it for anyone

Roman. you’re not ruining anything for me. I promise.

Khai. I hope not cause I’d never forgive myself

Roman. babe. Don’t be silly. Everything’s okay *heart emoji*

Khai. you’re the best do you know that?

Roman. I’m not. But I’m glad you think so

Khai. I know so.