#im so scared of conflict
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“you didn’t say anything tho” IM TOO SCARED TO
#i’m not even a mean person#genounely#like#you can walk all over me#and that’s a bad thing#i shouldn’t let people#but i do#i can’t do arguments#i can’t stand up for myself#it’s pathetic#but idk how to fix it#im so scared of conflict#and people being mad at me
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been thinking about something wicked a little too much lately. no harm in romanticizing the ominous dreadful unstoppable force
#ultrakill#v1#v1cked#<- unsure if ive ever officially decided that was the tag id be using but i dont recall anyone else having an idea for it#v1 and something wicked... ouhehehe#in a game like this... with conflict and violence and unceasing demand for a spectacle it is a step back to have v1 find themselves in a-#dark and quiet labyrinth belonging to a force that scares even them#idk. i think about it. its so unlike everything v1 has gone through thus far (though albeit not much as 0-S is in prelude. but i assume-#-there was some killing before they decided to drop down)#maybe it reminds them of their home? where they were built? light humming of wicked passing feels like the buzzing of bright artificial-#-lights that were routinely shined down on them for maintenance#a strange but welcome connection...#and something wicked is very lonely. i dont think it has much of an issue with this seeing as it knows its maze so so well.. im sure it-#-cares for it extensively. but a machine? coming here? i wonder if something wicked has the ability to interact with the terminals at all#terminals do really only talk to machines#but this one seems quite lonely. i dont think itd mind if something wicked happened to take a look#ok im done#gen art
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Something that’s always missing whenever people talk about Lyanna and the Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy is that these things should always circle back to Jon Snow. He’s our main character here. Rhaegar and Lyanna, as well as the Kingsguard, are all dead. They were dead before this story began. This tiny section of text is meant to give color to Jon — who is alive, and whose story is currently unfolding. The events at the Tower of Joy, told entirely through Ned’s fever dream for a reason, essentially serve as one thing: fantasy protagonist myth building 101. Three wise men, a legendary magical sword, some of the greatest knights of an era, a dying queen lady, the end of an age, a dead prince, a dead king, and then here comes a soon to be completely orphaned prince whose life hangs on the balance and whose survival depends on the compassion of one lord and his wizard friend. GRRM is literally retelling King Arthur’s backstory through Jon. This whole thing is one giant literary allusion to Uther and Igraine and the boy king Arthur, to Lancelot and his Joyous Guard, to Guinevere, and to tragic romances. It reads as an ode to Arthurian fantasy and is meant to backdrop the main protagonist’s fantastical origins. The Kingsguard are there to play into that. Their presence at the Tower, in that moment, was never about Lyanna; not solely, anyway. Their presence is tied to Rhaegar’s last surviving male child, and the language used suggests that they had chosen their king, for better or worse. Any discussion surrounding the Kingsguard’s presence at the Tower that focuses on anyone but Jon completely misses the point imo.
#idk yall im just a lil annoyed rn lmaooo#I feel like there are a lot of readings and arguments that have nothing to do with the actual purpose of the text#just people straight up ignoring what’s already in the text and then imposing their own reading#like ned’s fever dream speaks to his trauma fr but like a big main takeaway is:#oh the kg literally have a million other places to be and a million other things to do so why are they here in particular?#why have they remained here of all places??#oh they are doing their duty as they see it….which is to guard the king…..who is now baby jon like?????#it’s almost spelled out for us in the text why do yall have to create new cannon about evil kingsguard following evil rhaegar??#asoiaf#jon snow#lyanna stark#the tower of joy#valyrianscrolls#“the kingsguard were evil for keeping lya from her brother!111”#hmmmm neddard i agot — lyanna was scared shitless until ned made his promises#I wonder why she’d be scared? I wonder if anything happened recently to rhaegar’s children to make her scared?#no she was definitely scared of the kingsguard there 🙃#I do want to say too that this is a world where brother and sister go to war (dance of the dragons)#or brother vs brother (stannis vs renly) among other examples of familial conflicts#ned fought and won a war for robert whose rule was solidified in the targ heirs’ blood#him being lya’s brother at that moment doesn’t mean shit
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what even was the point of wanting to make helluva about 'messy romance and complex characters' if they can't commit to that at even the most basic level. the narrative will just decide that a character has done wrong without explaining what or how, it'll completely ignore or justify legitimately dubious things, it's so desperate to tell you exactly how to feel about certain characters...
stella's dialogue is so cartoonishly on-the-nose evil and she has no actual motivations. none of stolas' mistakes are acknowledged until now, 2 seasons in (and even then, they're trying to justify them), half the stolitz-related conflicts are almost comically childish. blitz yelled at stolas, which is mean. instead of looking at this with nuance, blitz is in the wrong, and stolas is not. there is a wrong party and a right party, every time. there are no shades of grey.
where's the complexity? these characters range from cardboard to slightly thicker cardboard with maybe a drawing of a frowny face on it, except the frowny face changes colours every time you look at it because the writers worship inconsistencies.
#helluva boss critical#if your character driven show has boring or bland characters im going to be mean about it!! im sorry!!!#i love weird messy shitty characters honestly. helluva i am BEGGING YOU!!#they're so scared of you liking or disliking the 'wrong' character#they want to tell you how to feel so badly. dont get invested in stella. she is bad.#stolas isnt doing anything wrong. you shuold like stolas. he is good.#we havent actually written many of blitz mistakes into the narrative. the ones that exist are dumb#but hes actually very flawed. we'll tell you this no matter how dumb or not at all his fault the conflicts are. because#-checks notes- hes bojack horseman apparently#i love falling down stairs. recreationally. i do this for fun
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urges to post about my genloss oc and do a completely impulsive rebrand of this blog just to yap about genloss
#km still completely into henry danger#its an on and off interest for like 10 years#but like i kinda wanna post about genloss#and about my ocs#but i know nobody rlly cares about oc content so that like conflicts me a bit#id start a seperate blog but im scared of abandoning one😭😭#anyways ugh i love my ocs sm#generation loss#genloss#oc
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girls we might have a problem (i couldnt sleep last night because i was thinking about her, i havent stopped thinking about her since yesterday, ive been rereading our texts for the past hour)
#this wont be a problem righttttt ahahhaha#no because i already like someone but she just came and crashed it all like girl how dare you#but shes so pretty dude#shes so lovely too she gets me#shes so silly#she makes me feel so pretty#“good night darling” marry me#shes like everything i want ever#i feel so conflicted about this#girlblogging#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#AND SHE LETS ME TALK AND SHE DOESNT FIND ME ANNOYING#LIKE SHES SO AHDHSJSJSSJS#WE HAVE DIFFERENT INTERESTS FOR A LOT OF THINGS BUT SHE ALWAYS LETS ME TALK AB THEM#chat is this infatuation#chat im scared#chat i love her#my princess ୨𖹭୧
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If something happens to him I will kill everyone in the vicinity
#im genuinely so scared for them#i love when we have lil pets#but i always get so scared that something will happen to them#but gods that has so much potential for some good angst#AH DAMN IT IM SO CONFLICTED#romance club#rc#rc the parallel universes bureau#rc parallel universes bureau#rc pub#rc sami
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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i just feel like. i'm happy with my own company or i have very high standards for relationships with people because i don't like anyone and people piss me off very quickly and i let go of them soooo easily it doesn't even matter to me
#or maybe. the real thing is that i don't form deep connections that are hard to let go#and i don't put myself out there or be vulnerable because i don't think anyone will get it so im just very superficial while talking#or too scared#so even if they leave it wouldn't matter to me#wow!!!! nice#i think i've become so detached from feelings idk#buttttt. i used to be the one who cares. i don't give a fuck about anyone anymore i've become so cold hearted what's wrong with me#and one more thing#i've always been the person who avoids conflict so i don't lose people#and now... well#maybe i find it hard to connect with people#or maybe i'm just an asshole haha who knows#or maybe i just fall out of love with people#or maybe it's because i haven't had real relationships in my proximity since covid#so in my head nothing is real#omg i've become such an out of sight out of mind person i'm a toddler#i used to pray for this when i was too attached
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gang i can't even lie. i am Freaking Out
#there's a killer job opportunity but im so scared i wont get it and also it conflicts w my bf's job which is Fine but im a little#freaked out ab what it means for our relationship if i get it and i rly want it but idk if im qualified and im scared it'll be too much#FARKWEOIUHFY78GEWUBHFW IM SO SCARED AB EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME I FEEL LIKE IM BEING HUNTED FOR SPORT
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wonder where khadgar's been :p
#too scared to post this on twitter for some reason#because the wow gamer dudes will probably find it and think im weird lmfao#khadgar#warcraft#this man does incomprehensible stuff to my brain#he really needs a wardrobe change tho#just dont change his face. he looks so damn fine lol#i made this because i miss him so goddamn much its unreal#he really did just. Abandon Azeroth for two expansions#he saw cosmic conflict and was like “nope. not today. been there done that” lol#to be fair wrathion and anduin kinda took the reins#and sylvanas#maybe its a good thing we dont see much of khadgar#they might just screw him up. in the worst way possible. in terms of writing#anyway ill quit rambling this is a gush post#video#ALSO I KNOW he was in the amirdrassil campaign in the end#was nice to hear him speak and see him interacting with jaina (iirc)#i hope we see him in the world soul saga at some point#probably will... maybe midnight or the last titan#i have a hunch we might see illidan too but who knows
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[ ☁️✶ ]
i heard they were getting popular
i really don't like posting ship art in public but whatever here you go
#adventure forward#adventure forward 2#adventure forward points of conflict#cyalm#shallare#shallare x cyalm#cyalm x shallare#shallyalm#cyllare#im gonna be so fr i am so scared of them becoming popular#also tbh ive never seen another person ship this other than like 3 others
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was nobody going to tell me about pathologic 3 quarantine.
#📝#i feel conflicted#im happy that its free. im excited for that.#but i am. so scared. that it takes place in the capital#it's a prelude which is nice so it will be a nice intro into patho 3#but im like. i dont know. i get wanting to expand on the characters and their backstories#but i feel the whole point is that like. there is just a written backstory it wasnt LIVED because theyre not real (slams head into wall)#but maybe im thinking about it too hard
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Ok ok okokokokokoko (not ok)
I'm still not buying the stupid retcon of s2 and I'm firm on Vander murder attempt towards Silco was a mixture of various factors but the main motive was political.
#im sooooooo soooooo tired#it could've been so interesting#if they stuck with the og ideas#like.. silco was the peacekeeper while vander was the more violent one 💞#the hoes are scared#im NOTTT#IM HERE FOR THR DRAMA#IM HERE FOR THE PERSONAL ISSUES AND CONFLICTS DO AFFECT OUR POLITICS#and IM HERE TO DISCUSS IT
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okay i have to make a confession: bellara being repeatedly described as a romantic called to mind two things for me the first being they mean that 1) she has a very rose colored view of /something/ maybe the world, maybe the elven gods, any number of things really... and 2) that she might get shoveled into that 'in universe shipper' trope and my worst fear is she might be canonically a solavellan and im so terrified of that notion actually
#the 1st one is like such an interesting route to take a character#and so far in trailers it really does seem like thats the case bc shes most at conflict with the whole#ghilly and elgy being back and the baddies thing#GREAT! AMAZING! FANTASTIC! cant wait to dive into that#however.... it does not completely rule out the possibility for the second and im so scared
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i have horrible second hand embarrassment issues that make it hard to do literally anything but other than that my autisms empathy is LOW
#pov i have little patience for things that i think have simple solutions (which is not even reality#emotions and conflict are never black and white)#(i had to learn to not be an asshole)#but the second there is even the slightest bit of awkwardness to a situation i want to cry and scream and throw up#even just earlier i was listening to my peers accept their awards and when i could tell they were a lil embarrassed/nervous i felt it x10#i was up there talking like shaking and shit but ill be damned if i cant mask every emotion with my voice at least#i get kinda animated with reading/storytelling anyways even if im scared of so many eyes
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