#im so scared good lord
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opening my online shop im like 1 hour and a half IM NERVOUS
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Happy Purgatory Anniversary!!!
Some closeups cause the quality is frustrating me
Also here’s the lineart layer just by itself because I took ages on it and I’m really proud of it tee hee
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#bolas rojas#qsmp purgatory fanart#qsmp purgatory#bolas rojas fanart#team bolas#bolas fanart#qsmp slimecicle#slimecicle fanart#qsmp philza#philza fanart#qsmp jaiden#jaiden fanart#qsmp cellbit#cellbit fanart#qsmp foolish#foolish fanart#qsmp baghera#baghera fanart#qsmp carre#carre fanart#GOOD LORD THERE ARE SO MANY#A WHOLE YEAR IS CRAZY#WHERE DID THE TIME GO IM SCARED#I MISS THEMMMM
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now that natlan is out it's tsaritsa yearning hours again because i am one nation closer to either being horribly disappointed or foaming at the mouth!
creator!reader w a little side of conflicted tsaritsa is such good food I can't not yap about it. a woman who has dedicated so much of her life to severing herself from "love" of all kinds and succeeding and. just being so confident that when she meets you she's bitter and angry and mean. because she can't stand you. she isn't supposed to love yet you worm your way into her heart anyway and you don't even know it.
especially in smth like an imposter au. she tells herself your just a tool for her to use but your treated like the Divine you really are, pampered and spoiled every step. tells herself it means nothing when she indulges you – let's you hold her hand in private, eventually let's you move aside the veil, just a little.
and she hates it. hates how easy it is to let you break down the ice she's built up for years.
all you do is smile and she feels like she can't breathe. because despite how violently she rejects love in all aspects, it always bleeds through eventually. she despises it but the way you brush your thumbs over her cheeks makes her bitter and warm and it infuriates her to no end.
she hates you and she loves you and she can't stand you and if you were ever taken from her she'd destroy every inch of teyvat if she had to go get you back.
and ironically enough I think she'd also be the one to initiate any first kiss. maybe she's still trying to convince herself it's just a fluke and itll make her realize it meant nothing, it means nothing. desperate to fix whatever you've done to her and instead it just makes it worse.
a horrible mess of a woman who gave up on love just to be confronted with it when she finally accepted it's absence.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#new nation releases. i can only think abt the tsaritsa. checks out.#yearning so bad i cracked my phone screen but im still using it 2 make it everyone elses problem lol#this is kind of similar 2 another yapping session i wrote s while back but ehe#snezhnaya will ruin me istg#constantly torn between manipulative tsaritsa and tsaritsa who is nothing but tender because she is love. even if dhe rejects it#she is both and its horrible 2 try snd write like. okay.#soft tsaritsa is so tasty though....kissing your wrist in mock reverence before the archons#letting you snd you alone see her face beneath the veil. smug and horribly arrogant but so madly incomprehensibly in love it consumes u both#but also possessive tsaritsa is so 🤤#reverts to her old ways immediately. frigid ice cube until further notice. she won't confront them in front of you but lord#she is sending them to dottore STAT#shivering at the cold stare of the tsaritsa on your back knowing shes .7 seconds away from making teyvat enter an ice age#i hc her senses like taste/touch/smell r severely dulled. not related just a small hc :]#a fun fact if u will#soft tsaritsa is good but dhehjssjsjs tsaritsa being overprotective and possessive hits different rn.....#i need her to sling me over her shoulder and lock me away just let me bring my cat and heating pad im set#head empty tsaritsa scaring off any other wannabe suitors while acting innocent (no ones buying it bc her glare is MURDEROUS)#that and the floor is starting to ice over.#n e way 💤💤💤
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How I imagine their earlier interactions lmao
#yes this is a reference to Flynn Rider lmao#i HATE drawing Hater but i kinda like how i drew him here :33c#elora the typa guy to say “later losers! good luck trying to catch me!!” before running straight into a wall#it's about to be 2:30 a.m. as i type so im gonna sleep now#wander over yonder#sylvia#wander#lord hater#woy oc#woy ocs#my art#fun fact!! Elora is actually genuinely scared of hater. The only reason she befriends him (at first) is so that she wouldn't get fried 👍
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very invisible but very mean audience
#i might mean nonexistent#but they kinda do#in my brain#i just???? gOD im so scared to draw#like why the fuck am i even doing this#im not even good at it for the time i spent doing it#which is more than a decade#and i know it’s shit and stupid thinking#but theres always always always an audience whenever i do smth#moreso when i draw#but literally whenever i do anything at all#and theyre all fucking mocking me#and laughing at me#and its just been like this ever since i was a kid#just…oh my god can it please fucking shut up#im not drawing for anyone at all but my#stupid ass fucking brain cannot be convinced#ahahahahaha fucK#lord why did u make me scared of nonexistent things#wHEN#when will i finally feel like ive achieved smth#as a fucking artist#holy shit it’s never ending
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i'm genuienyl so fucking embarrassed omg ....... umm short drabble thing of walter and claudine under the cut . please dont look at me im a dropout and i havent properly written anything since i was like 10
"You know well you shouldn't be following me back to the manor."
Claudine wasn't one to be subtle. If anything embodied that fact most, it had to have been the glowing eyes stalking him from the black beneath his bed.
Walter sighed. It's not as though she needed to be told not to trespass into the Hellsing estate, the place that worked to exterminate her kind from the face of the earth. That was like telling a child not to reach out and touch a raging fire, no matter how pretty it was or how brightly it burned. He supposed the child comparison was all too accurate– you tell them not to do something, and they go ahead and do it anyway.
All 5 of those eyes narrowed. "Bah! And here I thought you'd be happy to have some company. You are very hard to please, you know?"
The vampire skittered out from the shadows bed, unfolding herself like an accordion as she came to her feet. Watching her stretch out her spindly limbs brought to mind the question of just how long she had been there. "You speak such nonsense sometimes. Do you not trust me, hm? Or, perhaps it is because you are worried about me?"
"I believe I've had my fill of your company for a good while." Claudine leaned in, a pout on her painted lips. Walter turned his head. "And no, given that Hellsing has an army of soldiers at it's disposal, I can't say that I do trust you not to get yourself killed here."
The vampire blanked. Maybe it would have been a far more intelligent thing to do, to think about the potential consequences of her actions. Impulsive, yes, but she wasn't a complete idiot; she would've admitted her faults if it weren't for one, tiny little thing he forgot to mention.
"Ah, but you did not deny you were worried about me, no?"
Walter's lips twitched into the faintest smirk. "To some degree, I suppose."
And to that, Claudine managed to land one peck on his cheek, smearing it in black. "That is what I thought."
#flea writes#hellsing#walter c dornez#oc: claudine boutet#oc x canon#oc x cc#AUUEUGHHGGG DUUUGYGGSGHGAGHH IM SO. whatever. im not scared im brave#good lord im always surprised whenever my adderall actually works and makes me more productive#drabble#i guess#what do i tag this#what audience is there for this
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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i still can't wrap my head around how my first sprunki post has been my most popular post overall
#miscellaneous leer#LIKE GOOD FUCKING LORD ITS ALMOST AT 1K NOTES????#the vineria haircut on this platform and the darkcult content farm redraw on twt are my ultimate magnum opus yayyy#oh and of course the polo wenda one too thats like second above the latter#it kinda scares me bc its BIG NUMBERS (im so used to 20 notes) but im also FLATTERED LIKEE XHDJNEDNXJSNDM
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grug need tgel
#IMSO CLOSE TO GOING I FEEL FAINT#its so crazy theyll literally prescribe it to me and ill start crying#my heart is beating so fast ive got sweaty hand good lord i need. Augh#be me. be transgender for years. unable to find psychs who speak english. too scared. find out you can get t from certain general drs.#get scared again. get too busy. waves of dysphoria and longing. cant remember the clinic name. check email. they sent an email about terms.#Its a sign its such a sign. im gonna barf
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In such a weird spot right now, very much debating a reblog sideblog
I know tumblr is all about "reblogging is good for the ecosystem!" which, yes! Reblogging is such a help for art! But at the same time I am one of those people who doesnt follow people who reblog too much because I get stressed out easily when there is too much stuff on my dash to catch up with. Which leads to me missing out on some cool peoples art. And I KNOW I am not alone in this mindset
I am currently trying to keep a balance between 'reblogging enough to get attention on smaller art posts' and 'not posting enough to cause people to unfollow me' but ah, thats hard....
#shrug#thoughts ig#but at the same time im like. hmm#2 blogs is enough.... actually....#haha 2 blogs left *gets smacked*#another part of me wants to make a reblog sideblog for the sake of archiving purposes#I tried making that years ago actually but then deleted it after 3 reblogs#because I relogged some fanart to main by accident and got embarrassed LMAO#hell yeah#embarrass myself in front of the what the 100 followers I had back then?#good lord turtles exploded this blog#@intotheelliwoods was just supposed to be silly occasional fanart.........#what happened to you#turtle hell#this is also why whenever I do reblog some art on @intotheelliwoods#its typically some like. small artist little note post#that def needs some more attraction#I would LOVE to reblog friends shit but then!!!!!#ugh!!!!!!!#I would be reblogging so much and I fear I would scare off people aha
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So, how’s mgs3 so far?
WHEEZES AND COUGHS VIOLENTLY
actually im joking fjskjcksj its really fun! I thought the new mechanics would fuck me up so bad bc i also struggled a bit with mgs2, and yeah they did introduce like 20 things of which i only remember 5 most of the time BUT !!!!!!! omg its so fun
I really like the more lore focused take of this game and i enjoy learning so much about the characters…bibo……..you’re actually kinda stupid huh…….(affectionate)
it is still a bit grating but thats bc mgs3 on normal mode is sometimes my worst enemy but im having fun with it so i dont mind, i think im around the halfway point but ive been slow because of the holidays….but im excited to finish!!!!!! yippeeeeeee cant wait to absorb more and then make art
#i have not been checking my inbox good lord im sorry#feel free to chat! I still like to talk too much#im scared of finishing mgs3 too fast honestly bc mgs4 is so primed to give me emotional trauma so im like. ACK#but i do miss otasune :(#BUT bibo and his blonde brigade are rlly funny#nimki talks
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.
#down so incredibly bad. he has eye crinkles when he smiles.... nah its the end#trying not to think about it but JDJJDJDJD the way he was waiting for me in his car and like so smiley when he came out. o im gonna !!!!!!!#GOD. im so obsessed. like hes just some guy yes. but also ???? idc NDNDNXNXNNXMXM#its gonna take years tho i can feel it NDJDNXNXNDNND#hhhhh but maybe less time than i think...? idk im so...... i got so shy. couldnt even look at him at points like JDJNXNDNXNZN#im probably sending like... the Most mixed messages but WHAT CAN I DO XJXJJZZMZZ#i get mixed messages from him too. god. it took us forever to be friends bc of this JDJDJXJDKZMZM#getting to More.... lmao good lord#personal#also god why did i have to see that post about consideration being like. a way u know someoje cares. like JDJJDNDN#him being like o i was gonna honk at you but i thought itd scare you. so he waved a bunch instead Ndndnnd#then when ppl kept hounding me about why inwasnt taking my jacket off (felt embarassed bc i looked cute JDJDJDJJDNDN plus it was COLD) n#saying like oh isnt it hot. and inwas like huh really. and he was like... well i wouldnt say its hot. you can feel like the air coming down.#um.... ya maybe these are small but HDJDJDJDNDNNDNDND hes so cute....... like he could have honked at me n scared me or joined in on#everyone sayin stuff to me but BDBNDNDNDND cute....
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Someone: How are you?
Me, externally: I'm fine!
Me, internally: Exhausted by the fact that every single FLIPPIN TIME I get invested in a romantic relationship in a love action TV series, I know it'll never last, because they ALWAYS insist on ruining the relationship by making it ENTIRELY ABOUT SEX AND I HATE IT SO MUCH
#IM JUST DONE OKAY#tw sex mention#to be fair there are exceptions but it just feels like when two characters get togetherthey completely drop the ball on anything REAL#anything other than showing them in bed together that is#thank the good Lord above for dousy#at least there wasnt time for any of that crap there#chenford actually does okay despite having a scene or two like that#they actually seem to care about each other not just what they can get from each other#this stems from mike and rachel in suits by the way#i just cant anymore#they were gonna be good!!!#and then they ruined it#and i kinda want donna and harvey to get together but i am so scared that theyll just RUIN it by sex-ifying it and they're MORE THAN THAT#tw sex
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Did I ever tell you about the Dr pepper doughnuts I don't think I did so I'm going to now. So like my phone right. I get trending searches section for cod knows why and it's kind of just a pseudo news page or smth. Like right now it wants me to search up eee virus mosquitoes. Or maybe pumpkin spice latte dunkin doughnuts. Whatever may be the hit google search of the hour.
Anyway back to the point this nifty little feature brought to my attention a doctor pepper × krispy kreme collaboration. Now in case whoever it may concern is unaware, krispy kreme is an American doughnut company and by cod are they good at making glazed doughnuts. That's about it though. Needless to say I was intrigued.
I now interrupt this story to say that my sister is going on about how kirishima × bakugo is a gay ship. As if that wasn't obvious. With dubious support on the fact that it's gay but also she's 3 years old (exaggeration) so what does she know.
back to the meat of the matter, doughnuts. Upon a search (said recommended search, in fact) we arrive to this
Gorgeous. Football. I had forgotten football existed. I wouldn't let that discourage my search, however. And as it appears, krispy kreme generously supplied ample description for these doughnuts.
Now, something is odd here, no? Despite being explicitly a Dr pepper collaboration, only one doughnut is imbued with this advertised flavor. And it's only the frosting, no less! Of course I didn't fully read this before purchasing the doughnuts; expecting the doughnut itself to have this flavor, but that's to be discussed later.
the trip
Now I don't know about you but I think I should break this up and also not put this all in your ask box but I'm stuck here now. On account of the curse. Anyhow it goes without saying that I had to try this doughnut, with these bold promises of excellence that came from their manufacturer (always a trustworthy source). Though one issue with that: I don't live all that close to a krispy kreme. So naturally, this had to be turned into a fun little trip.
and all the while typing this I'm realizing that I really don't want to be typing this. I don't want to tell you about my doughnut. No matter as I've built up a story that simply must end. I gather my most trusted companions and we prepare to drive miles away in hopes of simply getting a taste of these doughnuts.
We get there without incident, but the doughnuts aren't hot which is always sad to see. The vibes (forgive me for saying "vibes") are horrendous. There is only one hat hanging on the wall. Without delay we order a Glazed (why does Glazed auto correct to be capitalized?) dozen and 3 of the elusive Dr pepper doughnuts. There's a wasp in the doughnut case. The Dr pepper doughnuts barely look worth the trouble.
We inevitably get back to the car. Drive to a neighboring empty parking lot (not to say that the Krispy kreme was getting much business) and divide the doughnuts among us. We take a bite.
They're horrible. Borderline terrible. It tastes like if Dr pepper didn't know what they were doing. There is not a hint of true Dr pepper in the frosting. I could do better and that's saying something. The little logo is made out of a dubious material. Chocolate? Extremely melty chocolate if so. It wasn't fondant. Maybe it was a special thing they cooked up. The doughnut is bad. I finish it out of obligation. We leave.
And that my friend. Is a whole lot of words no one wants but apparently I had to write. And also the story of krispy kremes Dr pepper doughnuts. Bad. 1 star review that says I would give 0 stars if I could. Not worth the money. Inspires horrible deeds like writing a memior in your mutuals ask box. Good evening and good night.
Well I'll be damned. Doctor Pepper Donuts have betrayed us all. Krispy Kreme strikes again
#HOLY SHIT??? what a harrowing journey#i hate donuts so i don't think i should weigh in on this too much but dear Lord#horrendous#im always so scared when i remember that so much of dr p's marketing is toward football .#like i am a pepper FANATIC and even i get scared when i remember how much it's marketed as the touchdown drink or whatever the fuck#anyways. goddamn. Doctor pepper donuts. I'll be damned#i should make actual doctor pepper frosting one of these days i think it'll be good. to go along with my dr pepper bread#which I'm also going to make one of these days#hellish. hellish story. thank you for telling it!
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So i heard that the orv movie is real
#im excited for the movie dont get me wrong but like#yeah these are just my thoughts on the matter#im happy that even more people will see it but like#yeah#god i literally took the screenshot so i didnt have to type about it all over again wHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF GKJFFJF#but yeahhhhh#its been a while since ive read it so its a p good time to catch up#orv#omniscient reader#omniscient reader viewpoint#theres also like-- this really good twitter posts that puts my thoughts into better words#thats basically just-- the movie has little to no chance of upholding expectations and that the story and meaning of the og work could get#muddled and misinterpreted like many failed movie adaptations#and ive also been out of the fandom so long that what i say and my own thoughts doesnt even really matter in the larger scale of things#but like#as a person who really deeply cares about this piece of work#or at least-- cares for it but had a much deeper love and appreciation for it a long time ago#im scared for the movie-- both for selfish reasons and 'righteous' reasons#righteous being 'please dear lord dont fuck it up- dont ruin this beautiful complicated story that apparently i never even got halfway thru#ill link the twitter post in an rb lmao
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I HATE!!!!!! having to talk to build relationships please forthe love of god let me do biscuits in your lap and purr and fall asleep to show you how much you just mean to me. =_=
#luly talks#@ ALL MY MUTUALS. IF YOU EVEN CARE#IVE BEEN GOING CRAZY FEELING LIKE IM FALLING OFF W PPL I WAS NEVER EVEN CLOSE BUT NOW IM SCARED THEY FSR HATE ME#AND THERE'S MANY I REALLY LIKE BUT IM SCARED THEY DONT LIKE ME AS MUCH BC THEY DONT EVEN REALIZE I REALLY CARE BUT GOOD LORD I DO#cuanto nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngrknijbtnknbjfk#<- no clue what that tag is tumblr just really wanted me to add it#Anyway IVE BEEN REALLY GOING INSANE. IM SO FUCKING SCARED
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