#im so pissed off and idk how to fix myself

[omgrandomwords]

me when i flop fr

[pilonciillo]

on another note

[junkartie]

Me 24/7 knowing there are things in my life making me unhappy but not knowing if giving these things up will eventually give me back my joy or just make me suffer even more

[29121996]

.

[kokikwii]

I wish i had a job i was good at .

[kimmkitsuragi]

what a game glad i didnt ülkeyi batırmak

im playing suzerain and i was like “wow. this is literally turkish politics simulator” and then i learned it is actually done by a turkish team and it’s based on turkish politics sdfbdsb they did a great job

[bkgbkgbkg]

Bf!eren headcanons.4

More headcanons/masterlist

Cabin/lake day edition

I saw this post and i just couldnt help myself LMAO but this one is short bc idk why im making new things when i already have a fat line of drafts to complete 😭😭😭😭

- On a lake day he defo runs up behind you to pick you up and jump in the water

- He likes when you latch onto his front like a koala while hes just swimming around😭

- He pulls ur ankles and or bites you from underwater when you cant see him bc hes an annoying little shit

- Defo forces you to play chicken with sasha and connie

- Will pretend to drown to get more attention from u when you keep on talking to the others💀 its so silly tho bc the whole group just stares at him as he flails in the water like an idiot

- When you’ve dried off already he’ll come out the water and bear hug you to get u wet again

- He started swimming with his hair tied up but it ended up tangling when he got out and whines to you asking u to fix it and getting mad u didnt warn him it would tangle if he tied it how he did

- This isn’t original i forgot where i saw it tho but someone said he eats like how a little kid devours watermelon super quickly and intensely just wanting to get back into the water asap

- He’ll piss u off by slipping his hands into ur swimsuit while ur in the water and no ones looking then start saying it wasn’t him, it was the fish (spoiler there was no fish)

- He also picks you up even in the water to flip you backwards or throw you again at any chance he gets

- u guys go swimming at night aswell when no one else is there and have a cutest little skinny dip🙏😊 (tbaw ref maybe🫣 #FuckTeamJean)

- He finds it funny to pull down jean and connies swimming shorts while theyre swimming

- He just cant be trusted underwater bc he has no restraint when no one can see him coming💀

My requests r open for anything u can ask me any specific headcanons for eren or any character aswell!! Tysm for reading 🫶🫶

[grilledcheese-aspiration]

a discussion idea! (long post)

my husband and i were chatting last night while cleaning up dinner; he pitched a fun idea that could be a great topic of discussion in the simblr community. maybe this should be a SQotD submission - IDK but: he asked how i feel about sims 2 expansion packs now compared to when they came out. initially, i said "yeh idk, i guess the same?" and that was that.

i put a more thought towards his question and realized, i do feel a bit differently about some of the EPs now compared to when they came out - all under the cut!

university: i was SO SO excited about it bc i didnt go away to college like my friends did so it was a way to vicariously-ish get the experience and a bonus was zombies! now tho? yea i still enjoy it even tho the dormies eventually start pissing me off bc theyre just so damn dumb lmao

nightlife: same level of excitement. i LOVE cities and i love vampires too. this scratched the "i need to go downtown chicago" itch when i couldnt from lack of transportation and safey being a v smol person afraid of the worst. i played all my sims in "downtown", specifically, 107 Custer Blvd. I made-over that lot dozens of times, it's seen dozens of different families and had a million different lifetimes. Nightlife still stands as my fave TS2 EP and 107 Custer - my all-time favorite lot to play.

open for business: initially, i had ZERO excitement over this pack. i personally, right out of high school basically, had NO interest in working myself (i didnt, i went to community college and got by ok w/ chore-money basically) so why the hell would i want to put my sims to work too?? i also didnt care for the music (i like it more now tho) as an Adult - i do enjoy this pack more than i ever did when i was a clueless near-20-yo. also, love the servos but i dont play w them nearly as much as i should being a bot fan and all. (i should fix that)

pets&seasons: i was pumped for these bc MORE IMMERSION AND REAL LIFE STUFF!!! also, weather and animals LOL. i still love these packs the same as i did when they initially released. just kinda wish plantsims werent annoying for me to play, i love them from afar tho! werewolves are neat but theyre also kind of a PITA to play.

bon voyage: EH i dont really go on vaca a lot myself, my sims dont either for the same reasons: money! im also still scarred from the one time i did send my sims on vaca and they got STUCK THERE!!! it broke all my shit and i had no way of fixing it bc i didnt know about MTS, MATY and etc to ask for help/guidance. RIP to that family lmao i hope theyre still having a nice time in the vaca-void theyre prob still floating around in! (note: ive never found bigfoot, some day i wish to!)

freetime: we all have hobbies right? it was all fine and good until the fire nation attacked i was being inundated with a ton of hobby spam, be it notifications, the hobby sims and the lots. it was a lot. its far more manageable now thanks to mods so i dont mind playing into hobbies. i do appreciate the return of the genie tho!

apartment life: ok, look. i thought this was super cool then but now, after living in apartments myself, i despise them and dont put my sims in them anymore either. i do love the witches tho, prob my fave aspect of this pack!

edit to add rankings: nightlife, seasons, pets, apartment life, uni, ofc, free time then bon voyage lmao

id be interested to hear/read you guys' comparison's to the different EPs we have for Sims 2 or any of the sims games tbh. id go over The Sims but i dont have all day lmao ill make a different post on that some time bc i always get in my feels over the OG.

[harukirai]

the thing you mentioned in the comments of my post about how rude Noctis is to Ignis in Japanese after Ignis' sacrifice, i love that you brought that up because it's a huge reason why i struggle to believe Verse 2 is anything more than Ignis' fantasy.

in Verse 2, the Noctis who shows up and willingly goes into the Crystal is so out of character compared to how Noctis acts up until that point. upon seeing Ignis' sacrifice, he's mature, apologetic, and self-aware (unlike the Noctis of the canon timeline, who reacts like he does in Chapter 10).

i can't even imagine how deeply it hurt Ignis to be treated the way he was in canon, which is why it makes sense to me that Ignis would imagine a version of the story where Noctis appreciates him and his sacrifice actually fixed everything.

Ohh im pretty sure it is a fantasy/non canon.

I think it was square pressure to give the fans an alternate happy ending, cause at the time so many pple were pissed at the ending(even though i thout it was good)

My headcanon for verse 2 is that ignis is either in a coma from the ring or straight up dead and that's his version of heaven.

Cause they never actually said its canon or anything, its literally a fanservice ending(also fair for the players who perfected the combat and beat ardyn under a certain time), so its nothing more than square's trophy for good job.

Also noctis change of hear happens at the end of chapter(i think 13, the one when you have nothing but the ring)

I think him being separated and powerless was the last straw that made him realise that hey, he do care about pple, and that he wanna be better. Thats why even though everyone hate this chapter, i love it(and love that they gave us the gladnis alternate in an update)

But id recommend playing the original route first especially for jap players.

Actually when they lose prompto is when the spark starts, cause he realise that his anger and hatred blinded him not to notice that he tricked him, and he hurt prompto(also in the eng version its not so obvious but in the jap its pretty obvious that he realised what he did when it happened).

So yeah over all the localization was really bad, to the point the story lost sometimes its sharp points.

But hey at least the localization in ffxvi is *chef kiss*

(no literally its the first time ever i played a square enix game in eng dub. I started the demo in jap and something felt off, like when i hear the eng ffxv dub wrong, idk how they did it but in jap its so cringe i had to bite the bullet and put on the eng dub, i hate it cause its medieval english too, so i find myself reaching dictionary often, but hey at least it betters my english😂)

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

Convinced that my coauthor is goin hate my art no matter what i put out so fuck it. Don't worry octavia my bby girl i will always love you <3

nigga always got something to say, but got nothin to contribute like, honestly stfu. Every single time in the past when I've asked them for help it's always “idk”, “figure it out yourself”, or they give me da silent treatment and just ignore any and everything to do with our projects. But the moment I do come up wit something it's always “no”, “i don't like”, “i don't agree”, etc etc. and then I ask, “well, what's wrong with it? what do you want our characters to look like instead?”, and it's the same thing “idk”, “figure it out yourself” or the silent treatment. Like COME ON. I'm the one who came up with da original designs for literally EVERY MONSTER. It pisses me off.

“Why is she built like that? In the og she had big boobs, a small waist and a fat ass” (which was not true because I specifically make her have a tummy 🤦🏿) it's like WYM!??!?! Because that was my ART STYLE from damn near 7 YEARS AGO!?!?!? ALL of our characters looked like that not because they were SUPPOSED to be designed like that. But because that was the ONLY shit I knew how to draw. Art styles change goofy.

I aint even ask for feedback. I was just minding my own business posting my art and here this mf come gotta say something. “Look at the og”, “Look at what the og is like”. YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!?!?!? WHY do you guys talk to my like im a fucking idiot? I always look at the og for reference when I'm drawing. And this is what I came up with. My old old art was so underdeveloped and inconsistent, I gotta fill in the blanks and fix it now. The OG concept art is not the holy grail bitch.

In fact we BOTH agreed the OG needed to be redesigned and I got NO help with dat either. WHAT'S UR PROBLEM!! The human characters were the easiest part and I had to do it all by myself. Actually I had to work overtime to learn how to draw other body types so I could make the human characters look normal. And tf did they do? Absolutely nothing. Uh it's not even online, when we would meet up in person to work together, it's still “idk” and they would just sit in the corner and shrug. There are not even hard questions!?!? Is this person tall or short? Would they wear jewelry? Makeup? Just general questions.

Yeah so fuck it. It's MY art and I'm going to draw all the characters I designed any way I want to. And if you have a problem with it, you can pick up a fucking pencil and design them yourself, like you were suppose to be doing.

[megamindsecretlair]

heyy pretty gal 😩💞 been a min! can I plz have ur advice??

So i recently had sex for the first time. p.s. ate that shii DOWN 🏆👀 But it’s embarrassing cuz that mf got me sick .. Iykyk. 😐

I’m so heart broke ONLY cuz it felt so good & I’ve wanted that for so long.... Just for it to negatively affect me emotionally/physically. 💔 And intimacy is so addicting* (especially with childhood traumas.)

So it’s kinda like I played myself. Or did myself a disservice. By giving in, being intimate, & giving chances to someone who didnt deserve it. Damn i feel like a statistic.

But still, why are Black men so.. hurtful.. to Black women?? Should I have kept my promise & waited longer? How do you recoup after experiencing sex? especially after a person/situation like that.

I want to move on.. but idk when I’ll feel that closeness again. And as a Black woman? Im tired of using work/responsibilites as a “healthy” distraction. I just want an emotional break 💔 these niggas piss me off .

~ ik its a lot, but this a safe space right? <3

Hey girl. I am by no means a sex expert or mental health expert, take what resonates, leave what doesn't, but this is indeed a safe space and I'm absolutely honored you trusted me with this.

Having sex is a deeply personal decision, but you should never feel like you did yourself a disservice. FUCK THAT MF 👏🏽👏🏽 HE AINT DESERVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Unfortunately, theres no way to know that for certain when these mfs are scheming from jump. Black men are conditioned to be coddled. Family, especially Black moms, will cater to and coddle the hell out of their sons. Fix their plates, wash their clothes, etc. So when they get out into the streets, they're looking for that in their partners. Conversely, Black daughters are conditioned to overchieve to the point of perfectionism. They have to be cooks, doctors, therapists, maids, etc and outclass their counterparts in every way possible. So if a man don't get what he thinks he deserves, he feels no qualms about dogging someone out.

I'm sorry your first time sucked. Im so, so, sorry that it wasn't full of love and safety. Do not beat yourself up about this. Sex should be enjoyed safely with consenting partners. You WILL get there. One day, you will be screaming glory to the ceiling. I know this will happen for you 👏🏽

This is only one bad experience. But it cannot color your future experiences. My best advice is to listen to your gut. When you are in tune with the right person, you may not feel butterflies or anxiousness or feel that die hard passion that TV likes to lie about. The right person? Will make you feel safe. You will feel calm around this person. Your worries will melt away because his/her/their priority is to put you at ease. They will listen to you. They will communicate with you. They will never pressure you into something you're not ready for.

They will wait 10 years to have sex with you if you're not ready. And will gladly wait those 10 years to make sure you're safe in their arms. I cannot stress this enough. Communication is your best friend 👏🏽 if you can't open your mouth and communicate your needs with someone you're willing to hop in bed with, why are you hopping in bed with them 🤔

Sex is a journey. A long, complicated, stressful, wonderful journey. The intimacy will come, the love will come. You gon get there, I promise 😚 even if its casual sex and youre not in love with the person, fight that instinct to retreat. Fight that instinct to close yourself off.

You dont need distractions right now, you gotta sit with this feeling. You gotta live with it. You gotta identify what it is youre searching for. And never compromise on that.

Black girls are never afforded opportunities to be soft. To be vulnerable.

Fight it!!! And keep fighting it!!!

[tempenensis]

yknow, i really like the ship between megumi and yuuji, and i love to indulge myself when it comes to reading manga, but sometimes people will say something so dumb, just to prove that itafushi is real,, and im just like?? like why do you need to change the meaning behind something to make your (almost canon) ship canon? like for example, i get the joke that megumi is sweating in ch 64 because that girl likes yuuji and meg is having a gay panic attack. like its funny, but its also not the reason he was sweating, yknow? i thought it was obvious that he was sweating for the same reason as nobara. it can get annoying at times because i feel like there are genuinely people who see it the former way.

or more recently the joke that megumi didn’t want to leave yuuji during cg because he is dependent on him. that one pisses me off because the right reason is right there!! and its hella itafushi coded too!! megumi didn’t want to leave him because yuuji was at a very vulnerable place after shibuya and megumi recognized that and wanted him to feel better and start trusting himself again. (i mean that turned out terribly, but meg’s heart was at the right place!!)

idk i just hate it when people disregard characters personalities just because it fits their fantasy better… i feel like if you’re going to comment/critique something then you need to have a really good understanding of it, and not let biased opinions get in the way. [also if this wasn’t obvious, this definitely isn’t targeted at you at all, more like the general twitter audience]

Hi, anon!

I definitely feel what you feel here. Honestly, not all shippers "see" the same things. This is what I said "reading the lines" getting out of hand. It's fine to read between the lines; that's how we get our food from, lol. But not everyone has the same limit or comfort. Even if it's "delusion" about the same ship, if anything at all makes you uncomfortable, then better to stay away from it. Nothing wrong at all about that. Just scroll pass it, block if necessary. I, myself, am not comfortable about going too overboard in "reading between lines" to get my itafushi fix

[torusmochi]

JJK Spoiler / pretty much just me venting-ranting(?)

This is mostly me ranting about my mental problems and what happened in the manga with Gojo. If you’re alright with that keep on reading, if not- there‘s the door.

I Wonder if anyone of my moots / non-moots feels the same or how u guys cope with this shit. (Or relatable shit, just stop reading if this seems cringe to you or something, I’m mostly just venting because I’m interested if anyone experienced the same/similar things.)

Honestly I should’ve known that JJK ends this way or better said I knew he‘d die- though I didn’t think this way, idk how to feel about it, it feels like there is something missing, though we got a little bit of aftermath or „explanation“ or whatever the fuck u call it but at least to me it still feels off.

Im probably delusional if I say I still hope we‘ll see him again though the signs are pretty bad, for someone that attached a lot to him, for example taking him as comfort character, due to real life being a bitch too I‘m really struggling with enjoying stuff again, like fanfics-Art and everything related.

It pisses me off and I feel number as days go by, I feel sad I can’t enjoy the fanfics of my fav authors like before anymore, sad that Art doesn’t do anything to me anymore and annoyed to be back in this stupid mindset I tried so hard avoiding.

I Wonder if any of you guys dropped JJK for good after shit went down?

How do you cope with something that took away all your happiness as it left? (Not particularly only in regard of the manga, life in general.)

On another note: I‘m trying to find stuff again to help me get tru this state I’m in rn, sometimes I read fluff and it gives me a little bit of happiness that feels nice but as soon as reality hits again everything’s dark again, I know I should go to therapy but I don’t have the funds for it right now and honestly I don’t even know if this is worth it at all but I like to try and be happy again or at least get myself fixed enough so I can somewhat enjoy life again without crying every 5 minutes if something reminds me of stuff that happened in the past that I can’t change anyways, this is so damn tiring and I’m so sick of this. Why is mental health a thing and why are feelings even real.

Maybe I‘ll do a second blog for shit like this in the future because it’s quite… different >.>

[sillieraccoon]

factive rant, from a factive

whats up ? my names L and im a factive of the body's ex friend, who also happens to be a system.

this system was pretty toxic i wont lie, gatekeepy about who can have bpd and anyone who said they think they may have it and wanted to get help for it, would say "why would you want bpd? its not something you should pursue".

anyways, thats just one of the many toxic things they'd do to us. it actually caused us to form the shortest FP relationship. we've only had 3 in the last maybe 3 years. but this? was the shortest. and i formed during that time, but could never make myself aware to the host (A) because they wouldn't have kept it quiet.

it just pisses me off how i have to live as a person who actively hurt the host. i know my presence in the front can remind A of my source. i feel it in our chest sometimes. i have these toxic traits that the brain knows how to correct because my source has a different brain of course, and wouldn't think of these things as their solution. idk. its all up to different perseption ig. idk why im being so neutral either, im usually like fuck yeah i fixed their toxic traits better than them haha :I

that was awkward.

bye

-L

[midnighteloquence]

i just wanna talk

uh minor (MINORS!!!!!!!!) vent because im thinking

(mention of sui, sh, purg1ng, etc)

i actually dont know what to feel anymore. i dont really feel much these days except for pure, unbridled sadness. i can feel excited over my interests, but that excitement doesnt really last long till im just nothing again.

ive been getting more frequent stomach aches. not a stomach bug i mean the anxiety stomach aches. theyre here right now actually. ive just been super anxious and on edge recently, and i dont know how to stop the ever growing pit in my stomach. it grows every time i enter a room, when i have to present something infront of my classmates, when someone talks to me, when i text people, when im alone, when im with people. its everywhere and i dont like it.

earlier this term i avoided people because i was just so tired and empty. i hoped that it would somehow make me feel better, if i avoid the person who did me wrong. it really didnt. i didnt give them a satisfactory answer whenever they playfully insulted me because i could not bare to have them insult me one more fucking time. you know what happened? they started saying “ok.” to me saying literally fucking anything. i said “ok” to you dryly because you pissed me off, but if im talking about my interests casually thats nothing to be pissed off about.

i apologised to them for distancing myself (even though i was trying to fix my mental health) and told them i would talk to them more even though i dont like them anymore. the next day they sent a paragraph talking about how i wasnt really “proving myself” and that “they waited for me to talk to them instead of them starting the rare conversations we have” which actually killed me a bit. thats over exaggerating but im trying my fucking hardest to try and be your friend but my best isnt worthy enough. and also when have you ever put any effort into what im saying? like actually if i talk about my interests you say shit like “thats crazy” in a disinterested tone. i may be autistic but i can still pick up that you do not fucking care for a word i say. i actually pay attention, and you tell me im not proving myself to you? im sorry i started ranting haha

i think my crush started hating me. and this is a super common thing with all of my crushes for some reason. i just cant get them to not think im annoying. i just get so attached to them and the thought of being with them that they just stop liking me. and then i pick up on this and ask them constantly if they like me. he barely texts me anymore, his texts are super dry, its so obvious he doesnt want to talk to me. i started leaving him on read, just hoping he’ll start liking me again. thats probably super immature and slightly mentally unstable of me but idk im sorry

i stopped thinking about my future because i dont think i see one. i spent all week tired, crying in the school bathrooms, crying in my own bathroom, or crying in my room. i post constantly about killing myself or cvtting myself or purging because at this point i do not care what happens to me. my friend might be moving, my other friend im so fucking tired of, my other other friend is probably tired of me, the rest of the friendgroup probably wouldnt care less about me, i havent been the daughter i couldve been to my parents, im distant towards my brother, my crush lives far away anyways and probably doesnt like me anymore. it just seems like nothings really worth it. how likely is it that i get into a good university and get a good job? i dont even know what i want to do with my life past 18. the clubs i joined are just exhausting to go to now, im making no progress in my language learning, i get average scores in my tests, the only two hobbies i have i barely do anymore. its just so nothing

i have no dreams or aspirations, i have no hope for the future of not only me, this whole world. it will take me a hot 48 hours to think of a thing i wanna pursue. no one wants to be in a relationship with me. im pretty but not pretty enough for people to like me, and even if someone’s attracted to me, theres still my personality. its nothing special, plus just a bunch of red flags like jealousy, attachment, being distant, being sensitive, the list can go on. im just nothing really, i feel nothing, my personality is nothing, my looks are nothing, im nothing.

idk what else to say so bye :0) (clown)

[swiftfootedachilles]

people are so weird how are u gonna bash a well meaning person and then refuse?? to tell them?? WHY you’re bashing them?? if ur post was offensive then explain why jesus christ this is not how u have healthy useful dialogue with people, it’s just piling unnecessary hate and cruelty on someone. i’m really sorry you’re being treated so shittily by this fandom, i love your posts.

hey thank you so much for this. the handful of people ive talked to have been very understanding of my side and agree that it seems like this person already didn't like me and was looking for a way to renounce me+my posts

truly, i don't know why she feels my posts are offensive. i hate the idea that a jewish person feels i was antisemitic and fetishizing jewish culture. i researched antisemitic fetishization tropes in opera during my undergrad program. ive always tried my hardest to understand minority communities that i am not a part of, without overstepping and seeming like a white knight/savior. i have always been guided through life by my ethics and a burning need for social justice. i want to fix this!

i was really pissed off yesterday and used more aggressive language in my posts and replies. today my head is clearer but im just as confused. i never expect minorities to do the emotional labor of researching topics for me and handing everything over on a silver platter. i will gladly educate myself, but i cant do that when i don't know what i did wrong. this isn't a situation where i did something clearly wrong and there's an obvious gap in my understanding - ive asked multiple friends where they feel i went wrong, and all of them have said they aren't sure

one very kind person messaged me about how, from an outsiders perspective, they were reminded of other situations where autistic people have their words or actions purposefully misinterpreted, and that seriously opened my eyes. OBVIOUSLY im not saying this person is accusing me of antisemitism because she hates autistic people. but i have often experienced people purposefully misrepresenting me and getting mad without explanation. everything starts out good, great even, and i build a script with which to interact with others. but eventually, you get very comfortable and stop following a script, start to unmask a little. and suddenly all hell breaks loose.

you're not acting right. you said the wrong thing. who would say something like that? so inappropriate. and when you ask for clarification because you genuinely do not know what you did wrong, all you receive are eyerolls and more hate because you should already know this, im not gonna spoonfeed everything to you. you're an adult figure it out yourself.

like i said, i don't think she's, like, hating on me for being autistic. i think ive gained a certain reputation (of what i don't know) in the shameless fandom, and people are projecting their preexisting judgement into me. this means that they don't actually want me to apologize. they don't care. they think i am already not a good person and just want to point that out to me to shame me into saying sorry because they think it'll knock me down a few pegs. whatever. my real offline life is much worse than getting mildly ganged up on on the internet. ill survive. i still want to finish my mickey embroidery and my edits/webweavings and my fics. maybe i will, maybe i won't. like ive mentioned many times before, i have pretty bad rejection sensitive dysphoria and i need to be reassured i will get feedback on my works before i ever post them. my fics were already being ignored by most of the big fandom writers - i think those will just have to be scrapped because i genuinely cannot take hollowing out my chest and putting it to paper only to get a few nice comments/kudos. the embroidery though, that's for me. i definitely wanna do it. the other original posts like webweavings, idk maybe i really don't know