#im so ill about her ohmygod

[rayroseu-reblogs]

I want to skip studying today and just draw meleanor ajdhjshsjs

[factual-fantasy]

TUNA I'VE FAILED YOU OH YOU DELICIOUS PIECE OF MY HEART HOW'VE YOU BEEN MY DEAREST PUREST LITTLE GUY??!??

Since the last post you made about him I've been wanting to ScReAM my love for him but I never had the time and the energy at the same time! D: until now >:]

BECAUSE WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?!

THE SMILE! THE FONDNESS! THE "I KNOW IM LOVED" THAT THIS DRAWING SCREAMS IS MAKING ME SO INSANE I LOVE SO MUCH HERE

Now, continuing to be an acceptable member of the Tuna Lover society.

TUNA YOU'RE THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING EVER.

Hold yourself because I have 0 self control when it comes to ramble about my specialist little guy and I'm afraid I wrote quite a lot.

Tuna looks like he is so tired. Look at him! His whole body language is screaming "I'm so tired but i dont really think sleep cluld help me". What did this rascal do that he's so tired? I wonder, but for some reason he looks more like being emotionally tired than anything. Poor bean! Did he had a rough week? A bad day? Is he feeling down? Maybe he's just tired for no specific reason, it happens sometimes. I wish I could cup him in my hands and pat his head softly as I rock him to sleep because he's so my baby :'[ <3

Ellie oh you heart of gold woman how lucky is the crew you're a part of it! Like seriously. She looked at this sad teen and said: not under my watch young boy. And went to cook his fauvorite rolls??!? She's so grannie coded I need her in my daily life you have no clue (oh no I got nostalgyc-). She's trying to hype him up and she's not just silently sliding the rolls under his hands. She's actually talking with him and something about physical contact. WAIT. IS THAT IT? IS TUNA SO VERY TOUCH STARVED THAT THIS IS HIS REACTION? OOOUGH MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT. I'll follow this train of thought later. (🚂)

Like. She's so gentle, so careful, so... She's really making sure she does all she can to lift up the spirits of that young man!

Because the way he's looking at her... the fondness.. the care and gratefulness????? Oh dear momma fish I'm dying. He's looking at her so sweetly! So gratefull! He's screaming "thanks for being a part of my life" without his mouth. He's screaming "I am so gratefull you love me" with his only one eye and I'm so down for it. I need more of them. They warm my fish heart so much... She's the grannie he never asked for bur always needed! Y'know? He's capable of looking at someone like that after all he's gone through and if that doesn't make me want to cry I don't know what does. Because that's just... OUGH I CANT WITH THEM HE HAS SUCH A TRAGYC BACKSTORY AND FEELS LIKE NO ONE LIKES HIM AND THEN THIS OLD LADY IS LIKE: YEAH, ILL BAKE HIM SONETHING SO HE CHEERS UP??!??! I NEED THEM HUGGING I NEED THEM BONDING I NEED THEM BEING A MEANACE TOGERHER BECAUSE OHMYGOD WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE TO SEE THIS TWO BEING LIKE THIS EVERYDAY.

A tiny part of me kinda wants to see one of them hurted really bad and the other protecting, but the other part of me is terrified of the mental implications it would have. Especially if it's ellie the one hurted. Oh no, no, let's end that thought there for my own sake 🫠

BECAUSE ELLIE IS JUST... SHE JUST BAKES HIM HIS FAUVORITR, I REPEAT, FAVOURITE THINGS WITHOUT HIM ASKING FOR IT.

Ok, returning with that train of thought (🚂)... I probably have alredy rambled about this before, but... When was the last time someone hold this guy gently? I mean, not even hold, but just... touch him without meaning harm? Or more precisely, when was the last time someone touched him with care? With fondness? With the intention to lift his spirit? To make him smile, at least a little tiny eety beety winesy bit?

She puts hers hand on his shoulder and he jumps, freezing with his mouth full of delicious food. It's her. Of course it's her, they were chatting alone in the kitchen, although it felt more a monologue as Ellie cooked than an actual conversation. He was too in his mind to really listen. The sudden contact was what made him blink with his only eye, staring at the caring old eyes of the lady at his right. It was nice. Warm and rough hands squeezed his arm softly, fully aware that she had startled him. She looked at him with a fond smile and placed the fresh rolls in front of him. "There, you better enjoy them boy!" She may or may not say. Thing is, his eye goes to the hot, delicious food, and then he realizes. The hand is still there. Gentle. Almost can't feel it. It's. Why? It's strange. It should hurt. But it didn't. Of course it made sense, but why? Of course it didn't! It was Ellie! And then the realization hits. All in a matter of seconds. Ellie would never lay a harming hand on him. And he felt... He felt.

"You can't eat literally with your eyes, you do know that, do you?" He forgot he was eating. He smiled. And seeing that smile made her smile too. After all, how couldn't she? That wasn't something she saw everyday! Much less in such a sincere way! He was just... smiling at her. Oh she felt so happy! "I'm glad you like those! If you want more just tell me!" Oh wasn't he in the verge of tears? Happy tears! Him! Oh. The realization hitted like a truck. (Or like a ship? What's the equivalent? Idk, like a punch of Louis if you please.) He was cared for. He was loved. There were hands in this world that weren't meant to harm him. He just smiled, fondness burning in his chest like a wildfire because how this woman can change a man via kindness/food.

What is so crazy is that maybe he's just staring lovingly at the lady that cares for him. Because he feels like he's a rock on the boots of the crew most of the time but he's good at what he does so they bare with him. Maybe he feels they don't want him around but... but this lady does. And isn't he gratefull for it? Isn't he so happy she's around? She touches his only arm in such a gentle way? The other won't feel kindness never again, did it ever felt it? Not punches, not grabs, no, just... placing her hand there. Like he isn't an animal with the rabbies but actually a just really fucked up little guy who is terrified of people because people gave him reasons to and barks and bites but is, at the end, very lonely and afraid because he pushed everyone away. Except for this lady. He tried. He bited and barked until he realized she doesn't care, that she alredy saw the scared guy he was and didn't cared. She didn't cared. She cared so much more than anyone that she didn't cared! She wasn't afraid! She wasn't going away! If anything, she sitted closer as time passed. And suddenly, a pet on the head. A so waited, so dreamed, so strange, so scary! Pat on the head. Gentle. Not like those who grabbed him to calm him down and only made him bark and bite with more energy. No. Gentle. It was new. It was nice. But he was afraid. Afraid. How long until she hits? He thinks. But she never hits. She brings him treats. Suspicious. But... not so... Why? It's just that he isn't used to see someone care. But she cares. And she doesn't goes away. And she doesn't turn her back. If anything, only to take the rolls out of the oven!

He doesn't thinks all that in the moment. He just wants. Oh. That felt nice. But was kinda unexpected. It's later at night that he thinks, if his three neurons decide to work. Mayne this is how his complex being feels but his tint neurons don't know how to think. He just loves and cares about the lovely woman that cares and loves back. I need more of them. They mean everything to me at this point factual I'm descending to madness.

AWROROOGOOGGHHHHGGGGG YOUR LOVE FOR TUNA FUELS MY SOULLL!!!! 😭😭THSNKYIUUUUU!!!😭😭💞💞💞💞

[drvscarlett]

Sweet Nothings (2)

Carlos Sainz x pageant queen!reader

Summary: All that they ever wanted was sweet nothings but everything changed like midnight rain.

Sweet Nothings: 1, 2, 3. 4

A/N: i indulged a lot with catriona so expect a lot of her faces. i like to build up things hehe.let me know your thoughts

YNjpeg posted a photo.

Liked by CarlosSainz55, LewisHamilton, and 543,456 others

YNjpeg thank you for the opportunity for the roundtable to discuss different issues faced by our society [link]

User4 the way she speaks says a lot about her character

User6 I dont need to see any other queen, Y/N is my Miss Universe 2024.

User7 i never knew Y/N is this knowledgeable

User9 right?? i mean before we all knew her as just Carlos' partner User10 is it bad for me to say that i think Carlos and Y/N break up is a good thing? User9 true bestie.

LewisHamilton Wonderful insights, thank you for using your voice!

YNjpeg honored to be appreciated by you Lew! LewisHamilton 👑☝️ User12 real recognize real!

User55 anyone notice that carlos is still liking?

User90 omg i just noticed that! User77 my divorced parents

F1News posted an article.

Carlos Sainz sits down talking about championships, end of contracts, and relationships.

The hottest topic in the paddock at the moment has been Carlos Sainz. He is the driver that has been to watch out for as he becomes the El Matador that crushes Red Bull's streak of victory. The soon to be ex-Ferrari driver thanks the team for building a good car and creating new strategy that allowed them to best Red Bull several times already.

It was no surprise that him and teammate, Charles Leclerc has been chasing Max down for the championship. When asked about how does he deal with the pressure, he mentioned that he kept himself grounded by a note tucked inside of his helmet. He said that the content of the notes cannot be discussed (as well as the writer of the note) but he is very grateful for it for keeping him in touch with reality. The Spaniard is currently sitting at the second place with only 2 points difference from the current champion.

"It has not yet been decided" this is what Carlos has to say regarding where he would sign next. Carlos assures everyone that there are offers but he is still weighing which will be a better option. His focus at the moment was not on the signing because as he states "if I'm a good driver then the offers will just keep coming." He wishes to focus on doing his best with his current team and reiterates that he has no ill feelings with the team.

Another hot topic that Carlos was asked about is regarding his love life. There were rumors about his split with long-time girlfriend and now running for Miss Universe, Y/N L/N. Carlos explained how he is very proud of Y/N and that he wishes all the best for her. He refused to answer questions detailing more about her since he explains that "focus on Y/N as a beauty queen and not because of her relationship. She deserves more than just being someone's girlfriend."

CarlosY/N4ever

CarlosY/N4ever me realizing that Miss Universe 2024 and the Las Vegas Grand Prix is happening together???!!!

User5 wdym together???

CarlosY/N4ever It will both happen in the 24th,the gp will go first at 2pm while the Miss Universe will start at 6pm. User5 OHMYGOD????

User7 So are we going to watch miss universe or f1???

User8 Im gonna watch both User9 rip to us with a different timezone

User10 i love how we can use Y/N's reactions for this

User11 girlie is a walking meme User13 walking meme but still elegant

User19 SO WILL THE GRID BE WATCHING????

User22 what is barbenheimer when we have this going on!!!

QueenYNUpdates just posted a reel

Well my gowns and my costumes have been carefully selected. Everything has a meaning. It is an homage for my country and of course to the best parts of myself. [Can we have any more insights about your evening gown] All I can say is that I want to make Filipinos proud and the color has a very personal meaning.

User10 Im excited to see her final look!

User12 agreeeee,her attention to details is everything!

User7 Our filipina queen! PERIODT!

User13 the color has a very personal meaning + that smile.. anyone wanted to bet with me that its ferrari red???

User15 I might cry if its really red User18 and its carlos' last year to ferrari as well User90 I just want to have a good time on this app

User55 Go fight for the crown!!!! Bring home the crown!!!

QueenYNUpdates posted a reel

[What can you say about your relationship with Carlos, everyone is curious about what happened] This is the only time, I'll talk about this. If you are looking for drama, there is no drama between the two of us. Carlos and I met when we were still young people and we grew up together. We matured as individuals..Its not a bad thing. I am extremely happy and proud of where he is right now. Were both chasing our dreams. What we are, what have been. Its all good. That's all that I have to say.

User5 This basically confirms it.

User6 we are really children of divorce

User7 CARLOS GET HER BACK, ITS NOT TOO LATE

User8 YEAH SHE IS NOT YET MISS UNIVERSE User9 BRO DON'T LET HER GO CarlosSainz55

User11 Its the miss universe curse. If the girl really wants the crown then they will undergo heartbreak

User14 why do we have to sacrifice someone?? User15 so miss universe is just like ferrari strategy? here we sacrifice a boyfriend, in ferrari we sacrifice leclerc User17 that comment got me gagged.

YNjpeg posted a photo

liked by CarlosSainz55, LandoNorris, and 876,525 others

YNjpeg I am ready to represent!!! Flying to Vegas!!!

Charles_Leclerc goodluck Miss Philippines!!

YNjpeg thank you charlieee

LandoNorris can't wait to see you take the crown

YNjpeg lando you believe in me too much LandoNorris I SAID take the crown!!! YNjpeg ON IT!

User5 im so happy that she is still being supported by the grid

User67 bring home the crown Y/N!

User8 Mark my words, she will come back with the crown!

User9 safe flight!!!

CarlosSainz55 just posted a photo.

CarlosSainz55 You always hated flying. You told me that there is a certain discomfort and uncertainty when you are a thousand feet from the ground. Right now, you are flying. I know it has a certain discomfort and uncertainty of what's to come but I believe you can find some joy in it.

You will always be the most beautiful in the universe.

User7 OMG????

User6 CARLOS I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME

User8 bro really went to tell the whole world that he will be here no matter what

User15 were always talking about how Y/N is Carlos' biggest fan but Carlos is also Y/N's biggest fan

User17 ITS TOO ERALY TO CRY

CarlosSainz55 just deleted the post.

[smoshyourheadin]

Sunshine and Soda Cans

Part 3 - Refreshing

“oh my god tell me EVERYTHING”

angela runs up to you as she hears your keys in the door, practically tackling you for information.

“okay! okay! so, well, we were editing, and then we streamed, and then i drove him to his apartment, and we kissed, and i dont know!” you retort, flopping down on the couch. “also wheres that ice-cream?” you ask her with puppy dog eyes.

“oh shoot yeah! ill grab it,” she scurries off for a minute, and returns with two bowls of vanilla ice-cream topped with strawberry slices. “here you are m’lady”

you hiss as your skin touches the cold bowl

“okay, so, how did it happen? was it good? do you think he likes you?” she begins to spew questions at you.

“one at a time jelly, jeez! okay so , it happened when we were outside his apartment, yes it was good, and i think so? maybe? i hope so at least.”

“well,” she says with a huf “if he doesn't like you he’s missing out!”

you giggle at her, and turn on tangled for the hundredth time this month, it’s your guys’ favourite. you curl up together under a blanket, and drift off.

the weekend goes on pretty smoothly, you and angela just hanging out. then monday comes around.

“cmon (y/n/n) wake up! we’re gonna be late!” you feel the mattress dipping, and rub your eyes.

“huh-“ you reply groggily, and then you realise whats happening

“ANGELA STOP JUMPING ON MY BED!” you laugh at her energy, as she flops down beside you. managing to hoist yourself out if bed, you throw on a sweatshirt and linen pants. on the way to the office, you guys stop at coffee bean for smoothies, which angela almost spills everywhere.

walking into the office, you spot spencer and give him a sweet smile. but he freezes up and just walks away.

what?

you shrug it off, and continue on through the day.

at around 2, you’re about to start shooting an aitah video with spencer and, obviously, shayne. but spencer is being really avoidant, not looking at you while kiana tells you about the shoot. so you chase him up just before the shoot, because you don’t want that tension on screen

“spencer hey,” you jog up to him in the kitchen as he grabs a mt dew kickstart. “whats up? why are you being weird with me? have i done something?” you look into his eyes as you ask him, and you can see his sadness.

“no, i just, i don't know…” he starts to trail off “i just feel like i forced you to kiss me when you didnt want to and i feel really shitty about it and i-”

“hey,” you gently grab his hands “it’s okay, it was nice. i liked it” you smile, and kiss him on the cheek, turning away to go get ready for the shoot. you feel the heat in your cheeks.

during the shoot, you and spencer share the chunky knit blanket as shayne reads you some of the most outrageous stories you’ve ever heard, and you wonder how people online are comfortable enough to say this kind of stuff

afterwards, as you begin to leave, spencer catches up with you.

“(y/n)!” he shouts, catching up with you at your desk while you pack your bag “so um, i was wondering, and obviously feel free to say no, um, if you’d want to go to the fair with me on friday night?” he looks nervous, almost as if he feels he shouldn't ask you.

“yeah, yeah that’d be nice” you smile at him, and his eyes light up at your statement. he thanks you, and says he’ll text you about it later. walking outside, you meet angela and hop in the car.

“what’s got you in a good mood? you’re only ever this quiet when you’re happy. what happened? DID SPENCER-” she begins to interrogate you as you pull out of the lot

“yes, it’s to do with spencer. he asked me on a date.”

angela gasps so loud you swear she could break glass.

“OHMYGOD FINALLY!! I THOUGHT HE WAS IGNORING YOU THIS MORNING BUT HE WAS PROBABLY JUST NERVOUS OH MY GOSH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” she bounces in her seat, rattling the car. you laugh, leaning away from the hyperactive puppy of a best friend you have.

over the next few days, you and spencer start hanging out a lot more and get a lot closer. you find yourselves sharing longing gazes across rooms, staying up late into the night just talking about life, and discovering things about each other you didn't know. each moment you spend together feels like a lifetime, the bond between you two deepening with every laugh. and then you realise something. you wanted to spend all you time with him.

fuck.

friday evening rolls around, and you’re sat at your desk finishing an edit, and waiting for arasha to bring you a coffee, when spencer walks over to you. his hair is messy, and he’s wearing a plaid shirt tucked in his worn in dickies, with a denim jacket over the top. he looks beautiful.

“you ready to go?” he says, cocking his head slightly

“just give me a minute, im just finishing up this edit and arasha’s bringing me coffee. but feel free to hang out here while i finish up!” you say looking up at him with a smile.

you finish the edit, and arasha walks over with courtney and shayne, and coffee in her hand.

“sup lovers! (y/n) here’s your overly sweet coffee,” she sets it down on your desk, then taking a sip of her own “so, big plans tonight spencer? you’re dressed up…” arasha says slyly, raising an eyebrow

“i mean if taking (y/n) on a date is big plans then, i guess so” spencer smiles at her

“HA! I KNEW IT! IAN AND YOU OWE ME 10 BUCKS EACH” courtney fist pumps the air, and shoves shayne in the shoulder

“ugh why do you always have to be right! you suck!” he dejectedly pulls a 10 dollar note out of his back pocket, and she pinches it with a “thank-you!”. you just look at them all, mouth agape.

“you placed bets on this!?” you look at courtney in shock.

“i mean, obviously. i knew you liked him, but we placed bets on how long it would take for anything to happen. my guess was a month and a week and hey, here we are”

“huh, weirdly specific but… go you!” you smirk at her, standing up to slide your jacket on.

“well, if you’ll exuse us, we have oversized bears to win” spencer smirks and holds his hand out for you to take, as you walk out the office together.

“awh,” tommy says, walking up to the three of them who were lingering near your desk “they’re so cute together!”

“sup nerds, what are we talking about?” ian jumps in

“ian give me my 10 dollars, spencer and (y/n) are going on a date as we speak” she grins at him

“ughhhhhh, fineeeeeeeee. you’re the worst court”

you and spencer hop in the car, and drive off to the fair, and as soon as you arrive, you run and buy a tub of cotton candy.

as you walk around, arms linked with spencer, you drag him to all the shitty games that you’re convinced are rigged.

“what!! no i definitely hit that one!” you stomp your feet like an upset child at the coconut shy, frowning because you didn’t get the giant giraffe teddy.

“watch this” spencer says confidently, and you gawk at him as he hits all the targets perfectly.

“how the hell did you manage that!” you say in amazement

he just laughs and passes you the giraffe “years of playing video games sometimes pays off”

you take the giraffe, and decide to call it amanda. so obviously, you send her a picture

//

amanderp 😚

———

you: [picture of you and the giraffe]

you: guess what i named it

amanderp 😚: giraffey?

you: nope, meet amanda ;)

amanderp 😚: omg i love you!! can she live at your desk? i want to meet her 😆😆

you: of course! i’ll bring her in on monday :))

//

you and spencer continue to sort of just walk around, giggling with eachother. as the night comes to a close, you get on the ferris wheel.

“its so pretty up here” you look out across the fair, the lights dancing over peoples faces as you sit at the top.

“yeah, makes you realise how pretty other things are” you turn to look at him, and he’s already looking at you. he looks at your lips, then back into your eyes. you close the distance between you both, pressing your lips together sofly, bringing your hand up to his hair and gently running your fingers through his curls. you break it apart, foreheads presses together, and he giggles

“hey whats funny!” you pout, sitting up and looking him in the eyes

“you taste like cotton candy. you taste like you. just overly sweet.”

you cant help but smile, leaning on his shoulder and lacing your fingers together. he looks down at you, and in that moment, you became his sunshine.

——————————

a/n: AHHH ITS FINISHED!! thank you all so much for the love on this series, it was so fun to write and it’s been so nice seeing your guys’ comments 💛💛 requests are open <3

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

Guys i fucking love those fanfics where snufkin doesnt understand what love feels like and thinks hes idk, diseased or some shit or just hates moomintroll suddenly, and then starts figuring it out and then after confesses to moomin ect ect HOWEVER can u IMAGINE what it would be like if snufkin confesses (without knowing hes confessing) in that first stage oh my god pls 💀💀

“moomintroll, i feel terrible around you, im practically terrified to even look you in the eyes, when you hold my hand i feel ill” LIKE GUYS PLEASE SEE MY VISION imagine snufkin breaks in (is willing let in) to moomins room and starts panicking saying all this shit being like “do you have a fever moomintroll?????? Is it contagious moomintroll?????!!?!!!!?!??!?” Anyways moomintroll is like oh noo im making my friend feel uncomfortable and it sounds like he probably hates me, awkuardness for the next couple of days ensues, and then snorkmaiden sees moomin has been upset recently and shes like talk to me about ur god damn issues ❤️ and then hes like yeah snufkin hates me now and is also sick and i think i gave him an illness that i didnt even realise i probably have,,,,,, and then snorkmaiden is like what,,,, what do u mean he hates u and hes sick,,,,, and moomintroll starts explaining and snorkmaiden is like actually exploding loosing her mind because ohmygod what kind of a love confession was that and then moomins like WDYM A LOVE CONFESSION ???????????

So then moomintroll and snorkmaiden go to snufkin and basically stage an intervention lmao, snorkmaiden gives him a book and everything about the symptoms of love and how it works ect, snorkmaiden is like 🙏 you god damn green boy have you ever heard of love before 🙏 (meanwhile moomin is awkuardly sitting next to her in the tent looking between her and snufkin, probably has his face in his hands most of the time) and snufkins like 😐 wtf guys ive never loved in my life that shit sounds really annoying lol 😐 and then snorkmaidens like, yeah, you ARE annoyed dumbass, what was all that stuff about wanting to throw up when moomin holds your hand, and then snufkins like 🙄 smh thats not what i meant by sickness, i meant like a fever, like fast heart rate, high temperature, flushed face, ect and he thinks hes really got them, hes so confident about it, hes like this will prove to them i have a fever and dont have any of this wanting to kiss moomin shit, but snorkmaiden is just looking into snufkins god damn eyes with the most “🤨” expression and shes just opens her silly book she gave him and opens it on a chapter talking about those symptoms, and snufkin is just staring and this thing hes like … no …… i have a fever …. Im fever boy ……… and so snorkmaiden is like oh my god pls just read the book so her and moomintroll leave him alone, and then like over the course of the next few weeks they both help him slowly realise that hes in love and like idk guys i think it would be funny but also very sweet

[pinyeti]

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones

Loving how i can see the budget increase GOOD GOD THE CGI IS CRAAZY

Ohno padme's clone is gone

HELLO??? ANAKIN??? HES PRETTY NOW ofc he has the rat tail 

Obi wan flop era uggo

Why does he give me young president snow vibes

OHMYGOD IVE SEEN THIS SCENE BEFORE ON THE INTERNET WHERE PADMES LIKE FIND WHOS TRYING TO KILL ME AND OBIWANS LIKE NO AND ANIKINS LIKE YES OFC ANYTHING FOR YOU SENATOR

Ok beginning of rebel anakin

Please tell me he doesnt go to the dark side for love

THE WORLD BUILDING IS CRAAAZZYYY THE SCReENS AARE SO CRISP IM SO IN AWE OHMYGOD

SNAKES IN HER BED SNAKES IN HER BED

OBIWAN JUST ZIPLINED WITH NO ZIPLINE ATTABOIY

How does the past look so much better than the future

I cant believe this is 2002 IT LOOKS SO MODERN

tHE HUMOUR THE CLARITY THE ACTION EVERYTHING IS SO FRESH 

Ok anakin is crazy

DID HE JUST DRIVE INTO ELECTRICITY?? ANAKIN OBIWAN IS OLD FUCK YOU DISRESPECTFUL RAT TAIL HAVER

do you think you’re shelock holmes anakiN??? STOP JUMPING OUT OF MOVING VEHICLES ONTO ONCOMING SKY TRAFFIC ANAKIN

Idiot lost his lightsaber

“You’re the closest thing i have to a father” FUCKIN BITCH

Okay sorry about gay allegationing obiwan and vader when I DIDNT KNOW HE BASICALLY RAISED HIM 

Bro anakins hair is something else

IS THE CHANCELLOR OLD GUY EVIL IS HE??? IS HE THE EMPEROR TO BE

Padme IS THEIR MOMMM

Bro yoda hates all the jedis hes so sassy for what “too sure of themselves they are, even the older ones” *pointedly stares at obiwan*

NOWAY PADME LEFT IT TO JARJAR IS SHE CRAZY

Ok anakin your job is to protect her not use her as a vent journal

ANAKIN CAT NOIR

I just know hes kicking his feet at the assignment

IS R2 THE CHAPERONE CDJBDEK

Bro anakin is cheeeeesssiiiinnggg HES SUCHHHA SIMPP IM GETTING SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT ;))) one might even say ‘)))) we jedis are encouroegd to love eheh ;)))

IS obiwan walking into a huge ARMY trade deal KNOWING NOTHING and IMPROVING HIS WAS THROUGH

Oh STORM TROOPERS ARE CLONESSS

OH MY GOD THIS MEME

“SOUNDS AWFUL LOT LIKE A DICTATORSHIP TO ME”

“WELL IF IT WORKS” THIS IS WHERE ITS FROM

anakin : ugh i am so angry i serial killed ugh

padme: dw to serial kill is to human

(????ok enabler)

Ohmygodddd NOOO WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS IM SO SICK OF JARJAR

WAIT YODA USED STORM TROOPERS FIRST???? WHA HOW DID THEY END UP WITH THE EMPEROR THEN was it anakin

Ok not the biggest yoda fan

Wowww how convenient obiwan discovers an army ready for use right when theyre being threatened

Everytime they say dooku i laugh

Anakin is a stupid man child - RUNNING INTO PROBLEMS WITH GLOWSTICKS AND HOPING IT DIES PT39382992 - guess it runs in the family

OHMYGOD ANAKIN DOUBLE HAND LIGHTSABERING LIGHTBASAVERING

HAHA HE GOT HIS HAND CUT OFF LIKE HE CUT OFF LUKES he just wanted him and luke to share something :( he just wanted to teach luke :( its okay i forgive you for cutting lukes hand darthy

YODA IS SOSOSO COOOL

WHO IS THE EMPEROR HELLO?

(5/9)

(ALSO DW GUYS IM NOT FOLLOWING ANY STARWARS MUTUALS TILL IM DONE WITH PREQUELS SO ILL DO A SERIES OF HELOOOOS SOON)

[edsheerankinnie]

Ok im gonna piss of a whole fandom w this. but here we go lol

So ive been thinking abt She-ra lately (spop specifically) and ohmy god it fucking sucks. like i get so mad anytime i remember it, like and if anyone asks me abt it im gonna warn them do NOT watch this show FOR UR OWN GOOD. unless u dont mind an entire season of fanservice AND BY FANSERVICE I DONT MEAN NUDITY OR THE ANIME KIND, ILL GIVE YALL THAT, i mean specifically how they made catradora canon w virtually no other buildup than they were raised together and ooh they hate each other ouuh ;)) enemies to lovers oouogh🫦 like if ur gonna make a ship like theirs work its gotta have some sort of proper progression w their relationship right? But no, the ENTIRE time up until MIDWAY INTO THE LAST SEASON theyre constantly at each others throats like. its not even fun at that point, it just looks weirdly abusive and toxic. And hey, while were still here, catradora in execution is Such a bad ship bc like. They were raised together. by the Same Person. not even just under the Horde, theyre literally both raised by Shadow weaver. and before their rivalry and in several flashbacks their relationship moreso implicates sisterhood than anything. like idk i dont wanna get too bold here, but it just feels a little too close to !nc3st to just put them together like that?

Omg and lets talk about Fucking SHADOW WEAVER omg. like throughout the whole show were shown and told abt how much of an abusive parental figure she was to adora and especially catra right? But then at THE LITERAL VERY END, Shadow Weaver SELFLESSLY sacrifices herself to help catra and adora save the world. SHadow Weaver, whose entire essence was her desire for Power, who betrayed her own people to obtain it. Who's only semblance of a redemption was her working with the Princesses, just because she would be in a better position of power. no remorse whatsoever for how she treated the two as kids. Nevermind her fake-out to catra that one time, in fact that scene highlights just how easily she'll manipulate those close to her to get what she wants. and u expect me to just "oh wow shadow weaver is so noble for that! This is so sad! poor catra and adora, they lost their now-good mommy!" (again, *their* mommy, eugh). Like im having a hard time believing they were able to mourn her loss like that at all. We've seen them both have very complicated feelings about Shadow weaver. Ok well to be fair we didnt actually GET to see them mourn. which IS ALSO SOMETHING I HAVE ISSUE WITH

the SPEED AT WHICH THE 5TH SEASON RAN omg i HATED IT I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. SO MUCH HAPPENING IN LIKE !) EPS OMG, and on top of that WE DONT EVEN GET A PROPER CONCLUSION???? U EXPECT ME TO BE SATISFIED W THEM ENDING THE LAST EPISODE 5 MINS AFTER SAVING THE WORLD????? And ohmygod DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW THEY SAVED THE WORLD AUGHJLFDRCRJ IT WAS SO BAD Like girl i need SOME kind of CONCLUSION, not just "yay the horde is gone! sunshine and rainbows! bye bye!" GIRL WHAT THE FUCK??! WHAT HAPPENS AFTER??? I WANNA SEE THEM REBUILD ???? I WANT A FLASH FORWARD (AND NO ADORA'S 5 SECOND VISION WHILE SEEKING THE HEART DOESNT COUNT), I WANNA SEE EVERYONE ADJUSTING TO THEIR NEW LIVES. I WANT SOME SWEET SWEET BANTER. I DONT WANT TO READ A FANFIC DEPICTING ALL THAT BC THE CREW GOT LAZY. I WANT A NICE BASE FOR ALL THAT. U GET WHAT I MEAN??!?!?

I think i should mention that i am in no way shape or form homophobic or anything, i am literally the president of the fruitcake club, ok? but the catradora kiss was probably the worst canonization of a relationship in an animated series ever, period. Like really? while Adora's half dead?? and otherwise the whole world ends if u dont?? And with only 5 minutes of runtime left ?????? I am being edged. I am being edged in the worst possible way. I hate it so much. "Dont leave me adora! I LOVE you! I ALWAYS have!!" HUHHH???? U EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT????? "i love u too🥰" HUHHHHH???? GIRL WHEN DID THIS DEVELOPMENT HAPPEN??? U hung out for literally 3 DAYS and u expect me to believe u guys went from enemies to working out their issues to googoo eyes???? when there was HARDLY ANY OF THAT THERE TO BEGIN WITH???? also just the overall trope of "oh no the world is ending, if i kiss this guy it'll be saved" is sososo bad, idc if its a straight or gay couple, it is probably the most annoying trope ever. like gyattdayum i didnt know i was watching an old Disney movie. i thought this was an epic scifi my bad. Yall need a moment? Do u wanna fuck too? Maximize ur "power of love" slay so the world is extra saved? jesus christ. its the "true loves kiss" trope all over again. Like thats such a rude way to treat a ship too. I want to see it in action, i want to see real progression, ESPECIALLY bc its the main ship, not "ooh they might be gay!!11! ooh they might kiss :) oouhh" and then last second theyre like "btw theyre in love now ;)"

Like id *maybe* get it if there were time constraints like with TOH, id get it if they were like "the idea and concept were there, mr CEO wanted us to shut down the party." but from my research, they didnt really have any constraints like that. And im saying *maybe* bc like with TOH for instance, even though they were forced to cut the show in half, they still delivered everything to progress and end the show properly! They had an *afterword*! they had Lumity and Huntlow and Raeda!! And oh my god the progression of Lumity is so sweet and beautiful! we get to see their "enemy" phase, we get to see them fall for each other, we get to see them date, we get their First Kiss!! We get to see how much they care for each other!! And sure, on the flipside we dont really get to see Huntlow. But thats bc the show got cut before it could *really* take off. There was supposed to be a whole season of Willow and Hunter's hijinks while the gang was in Connecticut. There was supposed to be a whole season of the gang adjusting to Connecticut! We were supposed to see the Archivists involvement and the ultimate showdown in the 4th season!! But they had to be economical bc of the cut, right? So they made a montage of Connecticut, they made three separate, HOUR LONG episodes depicting what couldve happened in the 3rd and 4th seasons. we get to see Willow reciprocate Hunters feelings in the 2nd ep! And most importantly, we get a real conclusion!! we get to see everyone rebuild, we get to see how theyve adjusted, how their lives and relationships have changed. We get a satisfying moment for it all to sink in. we get to properly say our farewells to the characters. All loose ends are properly tied! The Owl House may not be in my top list of cartoons, but u have to admit, it has a very good and satisfying conclusion. And all that with such intense time constraints too.

Now dont get me wrong, She-ra and its characters is written incredibly well (mostly) and its LGBT/POC rep is a game-changer. Heck, i loved Scorfuma, and that was only crumbs of a side ship. And the character designs/animation/colors are absolutely gorgeous, like that is honestly what probably pulled me to watch this show. Im just disappointed in what couldve been, yk? It had so much potential. especially in its last season, it just feels like the writers had too much setup and didnt know how to resolve it. 2/10 would not recommend.

[betweenthings2]

ok i just got up to the cafe scene in my totally coherent (lies) rant about this fic and DELETED IT im fucking FUMING. they should allow drafts for asks. but we move. and i will rewrite it but BETTER. OK LETS GO

Now, Matty’s in halfway in his lap and they’re looking through listings their estate agent has sent them.

in his lap 😭😭 that's so cute im gonna cry i love this. its so simple but makes me feel like 🌟 that

Matty is quiet for another few moments, then, very quietly, he says, “I think I could have died there. Either he’d push me far enough that I killed myself, or I’d overdose on accident, or he’d get violent enough.” Matty pauses, then, “In the moment, that’s not what I thought, but in retrospect, I think I could have. I think he could have, if I’d stayed. I think I would have let him.”

:( "I think I would have let him" :( this is Heartbreaking and i need to die. it's just so. weak and i cannot DEAL WITH THIS. my cat just gave me an odd look for the noise i made at this. lord. "or he'd get violent enough" :(((

Matty shakes his head. “Not now. Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t want you to hear about that, I don’t think. I don’t want you to feel like you didn’t do enough in the moment, either. You’ve done more than enough. You did all you could. I wouldn’t have let you do more.”

😭 I 😭 WOULDNT 😭 HAVE 😭 LET 😭 YOU 😭 DO 😭 MORE 😭 OHMYGOD. im gonna sob this is so :(((((( genuinely need this entire thing tattooed on my back or something

Matty’s crying, George realizes, and begging, saying, ��Please, please, please, just stop it,” over and over, but he’s resigned himself to George’s hold, any fight he had gone.

i feel like a sad face emoticon. :( <- me. reading this puts like a pit in my stomach and its so beautiful i can feel my heart clenching inside my chest

Matty recoils and cries harder, begging, “Don’t touch me. Please. I don’t want it. Please don’t.”

i need a gun . im telling my therapist about this .

And then Matty tugs the blankets back up to his chin and makes a pointed effort to go back to sleep, so that’s the end of the conversation.

kind of obsessed w the implication that matty has to do this because his words werent enough for squilliam william bitchilliam...what if i cry. and also i just love it

Sometimes, George will have dreams where he loses Matty, dreams where Matty didn’t leave the man who hurt him, dreams where Matty never went to rehab, dreams where Matty overdosed in a back alley of an unfamiliar city. George never goes back to sleep after those dreams, just stays awake and watches Matty sleep, reminding himself that whatever his brain dreamed up isn’t real.

currently sad facing. oh my god. :(((( love how u get the idea that mental illness also affects the people near u and not just urself without it being Mean. im. gonna cry. i love this so much its making me unwell

The Prada store is quiet and sleek when George walks in and a sales associate is quick to greet him. He explains that he has an item on hold and the associate is quick to walk him over to the counter and pull a sleek box from behind it. She carefully opens it up to revel the chain necklace George had seen online, then, when he assures her that he’s happy with it, she wraps it back up and sends him on his way.

CHAIN NECKLACE MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAIN NECKLACE MY BELOVED AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. this is so cute though pls a necklace!!! im so :')))

“I’ve got George,” Matty says, like it’s an answer to every question Denise could think to ask.

this paragraph is making me feel things that humans should not be allowed to feel. HES GOT GEORGE 😭😭😭 AND ITS THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION HELLO this is romance and its going to make me explode

At some point, George drifts off, too and he wakes to Matty in the throes of another nightmare. There’s no flailing or thrashing around this time, just whimpers and begging, and he’s clinging to George’s t-shirt like it’s a lifeline. George doesn’t know what to do. He knows that you shouldn’t wake someone up when they’re having a nightmare, but that means he has to stay here and watch Matty suffer, stay here and listen to Matty whimper and beg like he’s being tortured. Maybe he is, in his head.

☹️. SAD FACE. genuinely this is so wonderful (in a sad way) i need you in the history books. the fact hes just accepted it ☹️ SAD FACE AGAIN

“You can’t. You can’t undo it. You can’t undo what he did to me. You can’t fix it. You can’t help.”

im about to be on international news...i am going to DIE. you cant undo what he did to me NO BUT I CAN STILL BUY A GUN. william when i catch u william... the rage in my soul... i need to watch carpet cleaning videos to calm down

George is silent for a moment. He’s not entirely sure what to say or how to respond to all the concerning things Matty’s just said. What comes out when he opens his mouth is, “Do you, I, you, kill yourself? Matty, fuck, Matty, do you wanna kill yourself?”

the stress in his words Oh My GOD. the way you write is so like. i can pick the words off the page and feel them im about to explode and die george NO

“It was drugs in exchange for sex no matter how you shape it, and I did that,” Matty interrupts. “I let that happen. Part of me thought that was a fair trade. All I wanted was to be high. And sure, I said no and that I didn’t want it, but I could have fought harder and the times I was so high I couldn’t do anything are my fault because he didn’t force me to use, I made that choice. That’s all on me. I could have done something, and I didn’t because I wanted a fucking supplier.”

pay for my therapy. oh my god. i genuinely cannot deal with this at all im going to cry how can you put so much SADNESS into like 30 words ?!?!

“I know what it was, George. Don’t say it. I can’t take hearing you say it.”

im going to cry so much that all of europe will be submerged in saltwater for millions of years. oh my fucking god i need DEATH i feel SICK

George wants to cry, wants to slump down to the floor right there in the hallway of this house that doesn’t even feel like home anymore because Matty has been so miserable in it and sob. He doesn’t. All George does is head back downstairs and slump down onto the couch. He needs someone to talk to, but it’s all about Matty and he’s pretty sure the only person who knows more about what how Matty’s doing is Matty. He doesn’t do anything, just lights a cigarette and blows smoke towards the ceiling. He misses Matty, he thinks. God, he misses Matty.

!!! again with how mental illness also affects people around u !!! IM SICK. theyre both so sad i just need them to hug for three hours and make everything all okay for the rest of time

Maybe, George thinks, he should text Adam. Matty told Adam about the sex that wasn’t really sex, but they can’t use the other word, the big, scary, horrible word for it because Matty won’t use it and if Matty won’t use it, George won’t either. It Matty told Adam that, then maybe Adam’s the person to talk to.

i am going to vomit and die. the way the tone is like?? childish almost?! and how that just makes it hurt more ?!?!?!? I AM GOING TO DIE. adam is always the person to speak to though. adam is the best

“I know that’s what you’re worried about. That’s what you’re always going to be worried about, what everyone is always going to be worried about, and I know if I say I just wanna sleep then I’m right back where I started, but fuck, I just wanna sleep.”

this is so sad and i love him so much and i need him to be HAPPY oh my god . he's just :((((((((( so pained :((((((( george pls just hug him and use ur george powers to make everything Good

“Maybe you should talk to someone, too,” Matty says quietly. “It might help. Same way you think it’ll help me.”

“We’re not talking about me,” George says. “We’re talking about you.”

Matty shrugs. “I’m just saying. Don’t spend all your energy trying to make me feel better so things end up shit for you.”

the noise i just made is something...so far from human. they love each other so much and matty can see hes hurting and george can see it but wont accept it and im just going to cry

“He’s still himself,” George protests. “He’s still Matty, still only sleeps on the right side of the bed, still likes his tea ridiculously sweet, still laughs at his own stupid jokes, still tries to have three different conversations at once. He’s still brilliant.”

where are the tissues. i need tissues. screaming crying throwing up as though ive just received the news that my wife of 70 years has died. oH MY GOD pls im genuinely sick george loves him so much and hes just :(:((:(:((:(:((:((:((:(

Adam nods. “You’ve always been a little bit protective of him, which seemed a little bit silly most of the time, but I think that maybe he needs that now, so it’s good that he’s got you.” He pauses again, then continues, “I don’t think I’d know what to do. I could be there for him, I have been, and I will be, but I don’t think I’d know what to do. I’ve never known what to do when he cries, but you always do.” There’s another pause, then, “You’re doin’ good, is all.”

😭 HES 😭 DOING 😭 GOOD 😭 im going to die. i looove how u write their dynamic SOSOSO MUCH like it just seems so natural and open and HQJDKWUSJKSO <- me

Matty’s quiet for a moment, then says, “I just wanna be normal.”

:((((( he just wants to be normal :((((((( this is doing damage to me im making the minecraft zombie taking damage noise currently . hes so sad i just want him to be HAPPY. see no i say i want him to be happy but repeatedly read fics that make him borderline suicidal. masochism

Matty gives a tiny nod. “It does,” he says. “’s a good reminder.”

“Then I’ll keep saying it,” George promises. “I love you.”

THEN ILL KEEP SAYING IT 😭😭😭😭😭 IM GOING TO CRY MY EYES OUT. theyre so sweet and soft and 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ i just love them so much and i love how you write them especially because !!! its AMAZING

After a few minutes, Matty comes out of the bathroom, curls tamed, but still looking a little bit like he’s just rolled out of bed. George can’t help but find it endearing, but he doesn’t anything. Matty doesn’t either, just gets dressed and heads downstairs, so George follows.

im getting this engraved into granite and putting it as my headstone. sobbing i love them

“I spend a lot of time thinkin’ about you,” George tries.

PUTTING THIS ON MY HEADSTONE TOO HELLO STOP THIS. i love them and their relationship and im not prepared for them to have difficult conversations again Nooooooooo (yeessssssssssss)

“I know you’re gonna do great,” George counters. The light for the crosswalk changes and he adds, “C’mon. Lemme buy you coffee and tell you you’re pretty.”

BUY U A COFFEE AND TELL U UR PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭 this is gonna put me in my grave im so. mattys so vulnerable and george is just happy (debatable) to be there and im obsessed with it and their dynamic. LORD

George can’t help but chuckle and smile at Matty, all of his love and care obvious, and says, “You are pretty. You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever had in my bed, prettiest person I’ve ever gotten to make breakfast for, prettiest person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with.”

hey so im not okay. theyre too cute my heart is about to burst out of my chest i CANT TAKE THIS

“You’re supposed to have a reaction to that,” Matty says quietly. “You’re supposed to have something to say.”

IM SAD AGAIN. STOP. actually no dont stop ever at all. IM SO 😭😭😭 matthew pls no i need him to feel only joy and love and peace and never be sad ever again ☹️☹️☹️

“Thanks,” Matty says quietly. He takes a drink of his coffee, then adds, “She thinks you’re good for me.”

:((((((( george is good for him :(((((( george is just good for everyone i think. an angel boy. im going to sob

Even though it’s an echo of Matty’s sentiment the day before—George can’t believe that conversation on the patio was just yesterday—but it doesn’t hurt any less to hear. All George can do is try, “You are you, Matty. You’re still the person I love, still the only person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with. You’re still someone I recognize and know. I know you ‘cause you’re still you. I’ll always know you. You’re still my Matty.”

"MY MATTY" ☹️☹️☹️ my heart is going to pop out of my chest and explode into green glitter and when it falls down onto the floor it will say I LOVE THE BIG LIGHT SERIES BY AO3 AND TUMBLR USER BETWEENTHINGS2 and then i will explode into rainbow glitter and it will put sparkles around it. can you tell im normal about this fic

Matty agrees, and allows George to urge him to his feet and out of the café, but once they get outside, he stops and fixes George with a skeptical look, asking, “What do you mean you having something for me?”

George stops too and says, “If you’d keep walking, you’ll see.” When Matty doesn’t move, he adds, “It’s ten minutes home. You’ve anticipated much more for much longer.”

I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE EVERYTHING the way u write them. i will say this again and again. is amazing. pls. it's just so !!! and sweet and nice and even when theyre sad it's like it's got a haze of Love over it. im gonna die

“You’re adorable,” George says, coming to stand in front of Matty.

Matty offers a cheeky smile and says, “I know.”

And, god, that’s Matty. That’s George’s Matty.

HE KNOOOWSSSSS 😭😭😭 im gonna BAWL im so. thats georges matty !!!!!!!!!!! they are two parts of a whole and im going to Explode over it

Matty takes a deep breath, the kind a deep breath a person takes when they’re trying very hard to keep their emotions in check, the kind of deep breath Matty takes when he’s trying not to cry, and says, “’m good, G. ‘s good, really good.”

i feel like an exclamation mark. hes so happy and im :((((((( obsessed with them im gonna explode

Carefully, almost reverently, George drapes the chain around Matty’s neck and fastens the clasp. Before he can think twice about it, he leans forward and presses a very gentle kiss to the back of Matty’s neck, just about the clasp of the necklace.

i need to be put down because i am EMOTIONAL and this is going to make me cry plsplspls i love i love i love. reverently !!! kissing the back of his neck !!! i am !!! !!! !!!

this is a masterpiece and i REALLY hope u know it because u are amazing and everything u write is like an actual. gift from god or something like its sososo beautiful and wonderful and amazing and AAAAAHHHHH. my chest is tight and ive read this like 6 times in the past 3 days. enjoy ur day and Plsplspls know that u are amazing 🙂‍↕🫶🫶🫶

First of all, thank you so, so much!! Second of all, you're right--Tumblr really should let you draft asks. There are a lot of things Tumblr should let you do, though.

They're moving in together!! They're buying a house together!! They get to have a fresh start in a place that's theirs that was never a host to all the pain and misery and guilt! It's going to be so good for them!

Things are not so good for them. Poor fictional!Matty is struggling so much and hindsight and sobriety are not helping, and if he has very little self-esteem with fictional!George, he had, like, negative self-esteem with fuckin' William and he absolutely would have let himself be pushed too far. =(

I wouldn't have let you do more =(!!!!!!!!!! <- that's how I feel about that and I wrote it. Fictional!George wants to have done more, he wishes he'd have followed fictional!Matty inside and not let him be alone that first night he came home, wishes he'd have noticed sooner and done more to get fictional!Matty out, and fictional!Matty knows that, but there's no way he would have let fictional!George do anything more than he did. Fictional!George knows that, too, but he hates it. Everyone is sad, as they so often are in my fics.

The whole entire nightmare scene is just so. I just wrote this scene for the fictional!Matty!POV version of this fic and it is, dare I say, possibly even sadder. Also, tell your therapist I made you sad before you buy a gun. Maybe don't buy a gun at all, actually.

Fictional!George has nightmares, too, and they're all about losing fictional!Matty =( =( I know I keep saying it, but he loves fictional!Matty so, so much and they're maybe a little bit (maybe a lot) codependent to the point that all their hurt is shared and fictional!Matty's mental illness never has and never will be just his own, which is somehow both wonderfully poetic and horribly tragic. (I love a good tragedy. Catharsis my beloved.)

Prada chain necklace, Prada chain necklace!! I love her! I also love gift giving as an expression of love so much, and not in a materialistic, 'I love things' kind of way, but in a 'I'm always with you' kind of way. Also, a kind of possessive way. <- who said that? Not me, I'm normal.

He has fictional!George!!! It's the answer to every 'are you ok?', every 'will you be alright?', every 'do you need anything?' He's always had fictional!George, and always will, even if he's afraid he won't. There's so much love and trust in three words and fictional!George is going to think about it forever probably. We'll see if I remember this when I write the next part.

You need me in history books?!?!?!?!? (I did want to be a historian for a long time.) Oh my god. Thank you so much is not enough!! Oh my god. Also, poor, sad fictional!George. He can't make fictional!Matty uncomfortable so he can be more comfortable, but that doesn't mean he's not heartbroken.

Fictional!Matty thinks he's irreparably broken and fictional!George doesn't know how to change his mind =( Also, still don't buy a gun. Maybe get like a sword or a cool knife. Those are way better than a gun.

Poor fictional!George is so stressed!! Does fictional!Matty want to kill himself?? He doesn't know what to do with that, not in combination with everything else. I'm so thrilled by your comments on the way I wrote this--I wanted it to feel because what the hell are you supposed to do when your partner says they want to kill themself??? Thank you!!

The mental gymnastics that fictional!Matty is doing to blame himself are honestly impressive. I cannot pay for your therapy, unfortunately. I am an unemployed student. I can (and will), however, write you more fic where maybe someone is eventually happy. The secret to putting a lot of sadness in very few words is, um, commitment? I dunno.

There is, in this fic, particular attention to the language that gets used to discuss things, and part of that is fictional!Matty blaming himself for what happened, but fictional!George's willingness to use that language is partially him not wanting to think about it. If he uses the language that fictional!Matty uses, then he frames it differently in his own head and then it doesn't hurt quite so bad.

Poor fictional!George. That could be the subtitle of the whole The Big Light series: poor fictional!George. He know fictional!Matty, he's been there through everything, seen everything, but somehow it all just gets worse all the time and he misses fictional!Matty so much and he feels awful for that, but he misses hearing seeing fictional!Matty smile or hearing him laugh. He misses fictional!Matty =(

Fictional!George really, really needs a hug (probably from fictional!Matty) and he feels so unequipped to deal with this, but he's all he's got because he can't tell anyone else what fictional!Matty has told him in confidence. And he's an adult and he's dealt with a lot when it comes to fictional!Matty, but it makes him feel so young and lost and he kind of wishes they could be sixteen again so he could do better.

He'll be happy eventually, they both will!! I have a plan, they're just going to be sad first.

Fictional!Matty is trying so hard!! He knows fictional!George better than he knows himself and he knows fictional!George won't actually talk to someone unless he suggests it, even if he has the idea without fictional!Matty saying anything. They're a little bit codependent, but it's all fine. Everything's fine.

I'm sending virtual tissues =) He's still Matty!! He is but he's not and fictional!George doesn't know how to reconcile that, but he's trying. Fictional!Adam might be right here, though, fictional!George just doesn't want him to be.

I'm actually always a little worried I about how I write the relationships beyond fictional!M+G, so I'm so happy that you found it natural--thank you so much!! Fictional!George really needed to hear that he's doing things right, thank god for fictional!Adam.

They're going to be happy eventually!! I promise. Poor fictional!Matty just has a lot of feelings and a lot of shit to deal with first.

They're so in love and fictional!Matty really thinks he's making the person he loves miserable and he hates that idea so much, so fictional!George saying it is a good reminder that the love goes both ways and that they're a team.

There's something very soft and wonderful and intimate about seeing someone when they've just gotten up. I'm also pretty sure that the mark of being really in love with someone with curls is thinking they look good when they've just rolled out of bed. My hair makes me look a little bit like some kind of deranged swamp witch when I've just woken up. If someone thought I looked good then, I'd go buy a ring.

Fictional!George thinks about fictional!Matty all the time!!! There's so much love there and I will not stop!! =)

I keep thinking about all the interviews I've seen/read with Matty where he, at the very least, seems very candid and willing to have a conversation, rather than just answer some questions, and that creates this fear he has in this series about doing press because he doesn't want to talk about it and he doesn't want the whole world to know about this and he's also generally a little bit scared of everything that's not existing at home with fictional!George. Fictional!Matty knows exactly the kinds of questions he'll get asked and he's so afraid he'll wind up in a position where he has to decline to answer questions or give half-answers that are very clearly just that or that he'll accidentally say too much. Fictional!George is just thrilled he got fictional!Matty to leave the house for something non-essential.

Fictional!George loves him so much!!!!! Fictional!Matty is his person and he's going to do everything he can to make sure he knows it.

Fictional!Matty had a reaction to that (he may have argued with his therapist about it), so he expects Fictional!George to have a reaction to it, too.

Fictional!George is so good for him!!! Fictional!George treats him so well and cares for him so deeply that of course he's good for fictional!Matty. How could he not be????

'My Matty'!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, too, feel insane about this. You always say the best things about this series and I can tell you're super normal about it. The normal-est.

There's so much love, even when everything is so sad!! They're trying so hard and they love each other so much!!

There's a line in The Song of Achilles, which is kind of a meh book, about knowing the person you love no matter what that I thought about in writing this in that fictional!George knows fictional!Matty no matter what. He knows fictional!Matty in every mood, every circumstance, no matter what because he loves him. There's a bit in Eurydice that I thought about too, about remembering that you love someone simply because you do. You're right, they are two halves of something bigger than themselves because they love each other and always will.

Fictional!Matty loves it!! He loves the necklace, but more than that, he loves what it represents, that fictional!George loves him and wants him and cares enough to give him a gift and also that fictional!George is almost laying a claim to him.

There's something ridiculously intimate about putting on someone else's necklace that makes me a little bit insane and also fictional!George so wanted to see fictional!Matty wear it for super normal reasons.

Thank you so, so much for the ask and the compliments!!!!! 💚💚💚 I will be thinking about this forever and ever. I have three more fics planned for this series and then it'll be done (unless someone convinces me to write more) and then I'll start the Unsent Project fic. 💚💚

[ughgoaway]

the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying

also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-

also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up

(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭）

OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.

like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...

wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"

you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.

(more rambles below the cut as always)

you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)

he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.

oh and the morning after... so much potential...

I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.

OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-

I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.

"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"

"bro, why dont you trust us???"

"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "

you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"

"...please take her Adam"

she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"

obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"

but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"

Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"

you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.

the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,

"dear nurse y/n,

thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.

love, matty x

ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"

[fen--harel]

mini rant / thoughts

The first time I played dragon age origins was when I was 15 and visiting my dad for the summer. I had found Fenris online and I wanted to play 2 so badly and of course I was gonna start with origins.

I had romanced alistair the first time, and I remember when I first met anora I thought she was soo mean and snooty. and i had gotten so pissed when she had ratted me out to the guards when I told them I was there to save her.

Then at the Landsmeet I thought Caulthrien was insane and I killed her and then did not hesitate killing loghain and i thought riordan was fucking CRAZY for even suggesting that I spare them.

And now im not trying to say that no one has the right to their own opinion or that there's a right or wrong way to play this game and have your choices and feelings.

But I was replaying origins the same way I always do since the third time i had ever played it: romance zevran, marry anora and alistair, and spare loghain.

But I think back to like, angry teenage me who didn't see signs ? That were blatantly there.

Anora TELLS you not to fucking rat her out because she could be killed. So of course when you tell Cauthrien you're there to rescue her she's gonna throw you under the bus. Anora has lead Ferelden with as much duty as her duty-sworn father. She married Cailan and was a good Queen and arguably ran the country herself while giving her husband the spotlight. When you tell her to marry Alistair she doesn't throw a fit or argue because she can see why having a Theirin on the throne would be good for Ferelden.

Alistair (I love him so much) is not King material. He is an emotional person, which isn't wrong to be. Lord knows im a ridiculously emotional person. But being a fellow emotional person I know how hard it is to make choices based on your brain or your heart. Especially as King you HAVE to make sacrifices. I think a good ruler actually SERVES their country and Alistair who is emotional (which is fine) deserves to find his happiness with the Grey Wardens where yes he'll still make sacrifices but not that of a King. And I think it's displayed too when Riordan says that we should spare Loghain because it would be good for the Wardens gets so emotional about it and is like "ill be king if that means he gets to die" Kind of dealio.

(Also another thing I blame on Bioware is that I truly didn't feel Alistair's like- closeness with Duncan. I think it's understandable and should be there but poorly executed where I got so confused like why he was so sad about Duncan in the first place because I didn't really see the bond he and him had. But that could also be a me problem) AND THEN SER CAUTHRIEN OHMYGOD. The way that she begs you for Loghain's life and like, how much he means to her and Ferelden was so sad this time around. And you can tell from her that she also has a huge amount of respect for Loghain. Even Eamon talks about Loghain in a good light.

And I hadn't read Stolen Throne until much later after my first ever playthrough but I think there's so many instances of DA trying to hint at you like - Loghain was a good person. And he is just paranoid about something happening to Ferelden, the country he protected and served all his life. The country he taught his daughter to also protect and serve all her life.

And then it makes me sad to see people not realize that ? And have this like - hatred towards Loghain and Anora. (Although Anora too I think it's just lowkey misogyny but that's...for another time)

But even one of my best friends romances and loves Alistair but even she can see the complexities of Loghain and likes him as well. Of course she still kills him in the end because for Alistair but she likes Loghain.

And I just think about teenage me missing all these signs that Anora isn't awful and neither is Loghain and im like what...and then (It's not really in the height of it now bc the fandom has been sleeping til veilguard p much) I see people who also hate them and im like...why ???

like i said though, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don't like Halsin from BG3 LOL. And he seems like a wonderful character, just not my cup of tea and I can understand why so many people do like him.

just getting my thoughts out

[bonesandthebees]

OH GOD ITS THIS CHAPTER (5) OH GOD OH FUCKSHFKGKF

I remember this chapter caught me SO OFF guard, i wasnt expecting the angst to be so intense /pos goddd this chapter is so good

Another eerie parallel of hats and my life is my aunt gifted me tarot cards, and we spoke a lot about tarot when i went to visit her, wild

Apparently her mom used to do tarot but then she predicted her best friend's death so she stopped 🧍‍♂️ LIKE??!?! MY AUNT JUST DROPPED THAT ON ME AND CHANGED THE TOPIC LIKE HELLOOO GO BACK WDYM UR MOM PREDICTED SOMEONES DEATH?!??!?@?

Shits wild, she ALSO told me some hella spooky irl ghost stories

Also lmfao i love hats tubbo sm, hes so iconic

I LOVE WILBUR SO MUCH

HES SUCHHHH AN OLDER BROTHER SOBS CRIES WAILS

SCREAMS

*SCREAMS*

I FORGOT HE ALMOST SLIPS UP OHMYGOD OHGMDYDOHGKDYFI

OIHDHDJDJD

HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH:(( HE LOVES HIM SOOOO MUCH BROISHFODUEOF 😭😭😭 THIS FIC MAKES ME SO ILL MAN SO ILL

It is crazy how accurate tarot can get like bruh... whenever i do it the cards themselves align with each other so well, to the point where sometimes they'll literally say the same thing 😭 out of the 60 plus cards in my deck i somehow chose the two that say the same thing, wild (i dont have an exact tarot deck, it's a spiritual oracle one but still cool :D

EUEUEUEU i love thr reading sm

I love how immediately after the cards call tommy out for not talking to Phil, he runs into him 😭😭 its so funny i love it sm

HEJRKFIGJDGEKFJFJDD OHMYGOD WE'RE AT THE SCENE OHMYGODDHDKGKF

I remember being so jumpscared by the amount of adrenaline this scene gave me like ??? Bro its a slice of life movie, Why do i feel like im fearing for my LIFE /pos THE ADRENALINE IS SO MUCH FUN I LOVE THIS SCENE SO MUCH ITS SOOFOGOSJGKGK AAAAA ABDKGKGNDKDJKGKGMFBRJGNFNFKGMNF I CANT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC

THIS IS SO AWKWARD [SCREAMS] OHMYGODDD

I love tubbo:( all of them are so supportive

This is the most fucking awkward conversation 😭😭

GODDD I CANTTT HE WIDPFIFKF THE MISCOMMUNICATION HURTS SJFOGIGJTN AAAAA SOBSSS

Wilbur caLLED PHIL DAD OHMYGOD NOBODY MOVE BEE SANDDUO OHMGYFOHMGYDPHLHUDHSFODIAHEFODUODFJKFKDJEOTJDJFKGKF IM SO WEAK AND FRAIL AAAAAAA

SGFKFUSORHSKFJJFJDB ABDKAVJRBSJDBSKSBRKSN

SLAMS FIST ON DESK

CRIMEBOYS

THEYRJEOSOSOSUDKSDIFJFK THEYRE A9DOOOSODJFDLFJ I CANT I CANT OHMUGODUDHDOWHRIDJ

HES SOOOO FOND OHMYGOD

Tommys such a little shit shfkgkfkf a clever one but still shfkgkglf

THIS FIC IS SO GOOODOFJFLGKDHSJFKF

THE HUG, IM SCREAMING

God i am not ready for the next few chapters

LMAO ngl I don't know how your aunt's mom could've predicted someones death when that's not really what tarot does (at least to my knowledge) but uhh idk I don't do it myself so who knows

tangerines crimeboys make me so ill you dont understand aaaaa wilbur wants to be a supportive older brother but also doesn't wanna push too hard and make tommy uncomfortable bc tommy was so young the last time they were siblings and just gahhh

I'm actually very much a skeptic of all those kinds of things tarot included, and I view tarot as more of a self reflective tool than anything else, but yeah it can definitely feel scarily accurate at times. the few times friends have done readings for me sometimes they say something insanely close to what i'm dealing with in my life and I'm just like OH

lol yeah ngl I was like "do I really want them to run into phil right after this tarot card reading" but I didn't want to put it off for another chapter bc the setup was just too convenient so I was like oh well it'll be plot convenience

it was SUCH an awkward conversation god all the interactions between tommy and phil in this fic are so tense

crimeboys <333 tommy using being drunk as an excuse to get a hug we love to see it

[mitsyuu]

ive been mostly okay today (someone made fun of me because i was talking about things i like. for an example, sun & moon from fnaf and stars. but again, that person makes fun of my interests daily so-). aside from that, today has been rather peaceful, calm, quiet so that makes me feel relaxed.

last days have been. quite something (mental health & relationship things), but ill live (... probably). oh, ive also found a new interest! ive been a bit... obsessed with it lately (lets not look at my tiktok collection with more videos than the John Doe one. 410 videos while the john doe one has 200 & something to be exact.)

i also got Keqing yesterday on genshin! but i havent been playing genshin much so not much i can say about it.

Anyways how are you??? :DD how have you been??? :]]

the bully should honestly shutup bc those are perfectly fine things to like… dunno what they were on about. sorry that’s been happening with you:( i’m happy today went alr for you tho!!!

also 410 VIDEOS 🤨 and more than john doe. woah. very intrigued as to what the interest is if it’s more than him? ?BTWW CONGRATS ON KEQING!!! if you plan on using her i can send some stuff 4 you to help build her ^ ^ anywayyyy i’m ok rn!! just ate & im waiting to watch a movie. i got into a new anime recently and OHMYGOD. it’s called wonder egg priority and it’s is so amazing omgomg i absolutely recommend it !!!(unless you’re sensitive to stuff like s/h and blood ) SOUH yea that’s basically what been going on nothing much ! like always if you need to talk about some things i’m always here :))

[marvins-linguinie]

I posted 1,244 times in 2022

That's 1,244 more posts than 2021!

167 posts created (13%)

1,077 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lovely-dumpster-fire

@girlwhoknewtheoriginoflove

@hotcocoaharrington

@stevesbipanic

@steveshairychest

I tagged 201 of my posts in 2022

#steve harrington - 136 posts

#steddie - 124 posts

#eddie munson - 123 posts

#stranger things - 121 posts

#steve x eddie - 106 posts

#steveddie - 103 posts

#robin buckley - 59 posts

#nancy wheeler - 44 posts

#ronance - 40 posts

#steddie incorrect quotes - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#you should wash your face more. or not. it looks good without you washing it. i mean obviously you look good but.. i'm gonna stop talking.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

steve: so...

nancy: how's your crush on eddie going?

steve, laughing: how's your crush on robin going?

robin and eddie, losing their minds: WHAT?

641 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

#4

eddie: hey, steve, wanna go on a date?

steve: no, not tonight. i have a date with robin.

eddie: wait. isn't she a lesbian?

steve: platonic dates exist, you know?

eddie: hm.

later

eddie: hey, wheeler, wanna go on a date?

nancy: um.. so, im actually.. like.. dating robin.

eddie: no i mean-

nancy: im sorry. i see us as friends, anyway.

eddie: well that's what i was going to say-

nancy: it was a nice offer, though. but, no thank you. i love robin, and i wouldn't leave her.

eddie: tHAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

649 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#3

steve takes eddie to the beach, so they can watch the sunset

what eddie 'doesn't' know, is that steve is planning on proposing

when eddie starts walking back to steve's car, steve grabs his hand

eddie: what do you think you're doing?

steve: just... stand right there. robin? is it on?

robin, who is holding a phone: go!

eddie: HA! YOU'RE PROPOSING, AREN'T YA? I KNEW IT. YOU DON'T RANDOMLY TAKE ME TO THE BEACH TO WATCH A SUNSET.

steve: eddie, when i met-

eddie: skip the speech, put the ring on my finger.

steve:

eddie: are you just gonna stand there?

steve: JESUS, MUNSON, LET ME FINISH MY SPEECH

eddie: it's about to be harrington

steve: FINE, HAVE THE RING.

steve very aggressively slides the ring onto eddie's finger

eddie: now you can say your speech

steve: that's... THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS

robin: steve, just spit it out

steve: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

753 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

#2

steve: oh, it's 4am. time to get up!

eddie: if you get out of this bed, i will actually hurt you.

steve: you should come with me! we could do a morning jog together! robin said we need to be more "#couple goals"

eddie: what?

steve: she said-

eddie: ever.

steve: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

eddie: OH, REALLY? THEN, STOP GETTING UP BEFORE THE SUN!

steve: it's healthy. you told me that i should start doing things for myself more, and this is one of those things.

eddie: can't you do it at like 10?

steve: no. i like the dark. it's relaxing.

eddie: okay, well it's dark in here.

steve: i need to feel the cold air on my face.

eddie: plug the fan in.

steve: i want to run.

eddie: steve.

steve: be supportive of me!

eddie: i love you, i do, but when you wake up at 4 in the morning, i really hate you.

steve: come on. it's not that bad.

eddie: 'not that bad'? STEVE, THE SUN ISN'T EVEN AWAKE YET. THAT'S A SIGN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE EITHER.

steve: FINE.

eddie: FINE.

steve:

eddie: wait, are you going to that one restaurant? the one with the strawberry pancakes?

steve: i was going to after my run, yes.

eddie: can you like..?

steve: why should i?

eddie: because im your responsibility, and if you don't get me food, i might starve to death.

steve: ohmygod. yes, ill get you pancakes.

eddie: enjoy your run, psychopath.

See the full post

1,015 notes - Posted December 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

eddie, staring at steve: why won't he look at me the way he does with that girl?

nancy: wait. you have a crush on steve?

eddie: was it not obvious?

nancy: ...OH MY GOD, YOU'RE A GENIUS!

eddie: were you talking to yourself or..?

nancy: if we get steve to date you, then i might actually have a chance with robin. it's a win-win. robin said that she couldn't date me a while ago, because she didn't want to hurt steve. is this selfish? if we do this?

eddie: ...i-i don't kn-

nancy: EXACTLY! so, how would we get steve interested?

eddie: um..

nancy: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! you invite him to a movie, with all four of us, but then robin and i cancel.

eddie: wheeler, are you good-

nancy: we'll get married in fall.

eddie: WHO'S GETTING MARRIED?

nancy: do you want to be my maid of honor? it could be a man of honor, right?

eddie, tearfully: wHAT'S HAPPENING?!

1,560 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[meghanegghan]

👋

Fave swift albums??

glad you asked ive been wanting to yap about this for FOREVER!!

ill do top 5 hows that sound

1. folklore. I LOOVEEE THIS ALBUMMM the story and the writing is AMAZING. she does amazing at storytelling and this was just 🤌🤌

2. reputation. UGH SO GOOD!! i love the sound of this one sm truly a no skip album

3. 1989. hence the pfp, just such a good album, so many bops i wish i was a fan when the tv came out i wouldve freaked im sure. just UUUGHHH i love it

4. the tortured poets department: the anthology. i enjoyed this one a lot more than i expected. i wasnt a big fan of her when this one was released, but it did make me one for sure!

5. lover. this one just ohmygod. its so sweet and has so many good songs (ahem false god) i love everything about this album and is just an amazing pop album.

this was SO hard to answer, its so hard to rank these albums because all of her albums have such different vibes and songs for different feelings BUT these are the ones i often find myself wanting to play<3

truly a fantastic question tysm

honorable mentions: evermore, midnights, and speak now ALL of these were tied for 5 it was so hard to choose

[blackvail22]

going to watch a movie and have dinner w a friend but for some reason my brain is thinking its a date so my brain is in like panic mode and like i just want to flirt but i cant but my mind and body wants to and it doesnt help because i had a small crush on said friend during the time i wasnt with my boyfriend and when my friend had a girlfriend still but now he is single and im not and oh my god im going to freak tf out

WHY DOES MY MIND THINK ITS A DATE WERE JUST HANGING OUT BE CHILL OH MY GOD

is this my mind saying i am deprived of affection

damn? ohmygod thank god i have counseling before our hangout or else id combust

she can calm me down fs!!!! she still doesnt know im dating my bf and i dont plan on telling her. i know shes supposed to know "everything" abt me but i cannot tell anyone about it because its highkey embarrassing of me!

update: i never told my counselor lol! ill tell her this upcoming week

[pinyeti]

overwhelming day today here's the debrief

I have two humongous final projects both worth half my grade due on Wednesday and im losing my mind AND I HAVE A PAPER DUE TOMORROW MORNING AT 8AM AND I HAV.E AMIDTERM TOMORROW AT 3.30Pn, my groups suck for both projects and THEY JUST

MY GOD

I DONT MIND DOING ALL THW WORK EXCEPT IM GENUINELY SO FUCKIN TIRED OF DOING ALL THE FUCKIN WORK ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND IM SO SICK OF IT AND IM SO FUCKIN SICK OF IT IM SO FUCIN TIRED OF DOING THIS ALL THE FUCKIN TIME

and I just

I have this friend who im kinda close too but she's curt with me sometimes and we are kinda rude to each other as a joke but she just

she's rude to me sometimes on purpose and I dont know why and I just feel like she hates me and won't tell me why and I JUST I do love her and it bothers me ig and Ive had alot of issues with this friend and every time I try to solve anything

yeah

and I am having a huge body image attack which isn't that deep but whatever and my brother wlel

he's got every mental illness on the planet and makes my life a living hell I get being mentally ill makes life difficult for you but YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO SEE THEM AS MORE THAN EXPLANATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR RATHER THAN A FUCKIN EXCUSE?? IM NOT EXCUSING YOU TELLING ME YOU WANT ME T

pk

okay and then

today was another friends birthday and she was so

we made a whole birthday surprise thing for her and I went to alot of effort to do it and she just I invited her boyfriend and one of her other friend and she sprent the whole time talking to them and making it awkward for everyone else and I

she was like send pictures? and it just bothered me cuz she went out of her way to make it look like she hated them and if thats so then ill just not invite her to things??? cuz wth I do like my friends and this is really fuckin inconsiderate and we had karaoke but there was an issue with the mic and she was just

being really weird about ti and I felt kinda disrespected and she really doesnt fuckin care

and im so sick of this and

its like she just tolerates them for pictures and it was weird and idk

maybe I dont like her as much as I thought and maybe im the problem cuz I really tried to make it special for her and she just

she was just not having it and I tried so hard and I wish I didnt cuz I felt so stupid for caring about mics cuz when she left the rest of us were singing nd it wasn't awkward and clean up was fun even

and the thing with happened with the friend that was curt with me earlier she just we found out a guy we knew was spreading rumors about her sexuality ( his friend group did this to me first) so I asked her about it and she said yea that guy confessed to her and she told him she didnt like him like that but also that her and my other friend fought cuz this guy was being weird and I was BUSY BABYSITITNG MY FUCKIN GROUP AT THE TIME AND WE COULDNT PROPERLY TALK ABOUT IT so I called her when I got home and she got so weird and defensive about it like I was crazy and I just

I hate when she does this and I hate that I care about her more than she cares about me

in fact I know this is toxic as fuck and caring isnt measured on scales

bUT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM

I DO

I CARE TOO FUCKIN MUCH AND I WISH I COULD STOP AND I WISH I COULD EAT MY BRAIN UP CUZ IM SO SICK OF CARING OHMYGOD I WISH I COULD JSUT END MY FUC

OH AND

IM DOING 2 MURALS RIGHT

BUT MY IPAD CRASH LEFT ONE OHUGE FUCKIN MURAL GONE FOREVER

AND I DONT HAVE THE 720CM VERSION OF IT AND I HAVENT TOLD THEM YET AND

AND I HATE MY ART AND

I am president of a club and WE GOT OUR FUCKIN BUDGET REJECTED SO IM OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR NO REASON AND IM SO SICK

I need a break

I need a break