#im so glad we’re all here together today I love you Dan and Phil

[gaylortruther]

[fighterfortheforgotten]

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

[jestbee]

June 24: Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Four)

Title: Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Four) Tags: Alternate Timeline, AU, Slow burn, stranger to friends, friends to lovers Words: 2750 Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

Prompt: this was written on the same day as yesterday’s chapter. I’m in love with this fic and it seems you guys are too… thank you so much for all your kind comments, I really really really love reading them all. My friend is here this weekend so I’ll try and get tomorrow’s up but it might not be possible. I’ll tery for you guys though! FEDIJ Day: June 24 Previous Day | Masterlist of fics so far

[ella-the-vamp-blog]

Dan and Phil

Dan walked around the cafeteria in his worn out converse and ripped jeans, trying to spot which table his friends were at today. As usual they were in the very corner of the cafeteria, all huddled together and laughing. Dan sat between Byrony and Phil as soon as he reached the table. Once he placed his school lunch down on the sticky table Phil instinctively wrapped a protective arm around his best friend’s waist. Phil didn’t know it, but Dan had a huge crush on him, anyone who met them definitely knew. Thats why their friends made fun of them constantly, because Dan had told them his obvious secret. “Tone down the PDA mate,” PJ laughed from the other side of the table. “Oh shut up PJ, you’re just jealous because you don’t have someone you can do this with,” Phil shot back. PJ just scoffed and Dan giggled, leaning into his friends touch. “As if, Chris clearly wants PJ to fuck him,” Dan said without thinking. “Dan! You said you could keep a secret you dick head!” Chris blushed violently and hid behind his own hands. “Wait what?!” PJ exclaimed as if it wasn’t obvious. Everyone laughed except for Chris, who was still hiding. PJ took Chris’s hand from his face and held it while whispering something that no one else could hear. “Oi, tone down the PDA mate,” Phil mocked. “Oh shut up Phil,” Byrony but in, “So how long have you and Dan been together Phil?” Dan blushed and hid in Phil’s side. If they kept making jokes like this Phil would find out soon, and he couldn’t have that, it would ruin his friendship with Phil. “Come on ass hat. You all know were not together and never will be,” Dan remarked. “Mhm sure honey,” ~~ Later that day they were all going out to a movie, Dan had a backpack with a blanket and “secret” snacks to sneak in for him and Phil. Knowing them, they’d end up putting away the arm rest in the theater and cuddling while wrapped in the blanket, no matter what movie it was. Dan found it as his own personal heaven and suggested movie nights each week months ago. It was his only way to get the physical affection he craves and not be teased by Peej. “Hey Phil, do you want to come over tonight? My mums not home, we could stay up all night.” Chris asked waiting in line for their tickets. “Sorry mate I’m already going to Dan’s tonight.” “Yeah to fuck!” Peej laughed at his own dumb adolescent joke. Byrony giggled and nodded her head. “You aren’t funny dick, we’re just friends!” Dan defended. “You literally sat in Phil’s lap on the way over here,” Byrony said while giggling more, “And he played with your hair!” “Thats what friends do!” “Uh huh sure” ~~ During the movie Dan had somehow migrated into Phils lap again. Phil was playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing agonizingly slow circles on Dan’s hip with the other. Dan had no clue how Phil did this and still somehow payed attention to the movie. The entire time he buried his head in Phils neck and he was imagining fucking Phil. He knows its wrong to think about these things while he’s in his best friends lap but he cant help it. Slowly Dan started to grow hard, he shook his head and tried to think about anything else. grandma grandma grandma. “You okay babe?” oh yeah, another thing, they always called each other babe and baby, but they’re just friends mind you. “Mhm just tired,” Dan faked a yawn and snuggled farther into Phil’s neck. “Go to sleep then, I’ll carry you out to the car later and wake you up when we get back to your house.” “Mmk darlin, night.” Although Dan was faking the yawn he was quite tired, and he wanted to stay up late tonight. He decided it was best to just stick with the lie and go to sleep on Phils chest. ~~ Dan was currently snoring lightly on Phil’s chest and muttering something incomprehensible while being carried out to the car. “Oi, wake princess up,” Chris snickered. “I’ll just sit him on my lap and buckle him in with me. Let him sleep asshole.” “You know he likes you right?” Byrony stated matter of factly. “Yeah right, stop joking guys, you know I like him, theres no need to get my hopes up,” Phil scoffed and sped up towards the car. Their three friends shook their heads behind him. Dan and Phil would find out eventually. Right? ~~ “P-Phil,” Dan said lightly while tightening his grip on him. Phil thought that Dan had woken up so he responded with a small “hm?” but got no response. They had just dropped off Byrony and now were heading towards Dan’s house. Since Phil didn’t get an answer he just assumed Byrony slamming the door woke up Dan for a split second. That was until Dan grinded against Phil’s thigh. Phil felt a surge of arousal shoot through his body. Dan did it again and Phil gasped. Dan opened his mouth to moan again but Phil quickly covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe this. His best friend, not to mention his crush, was having a wet dream. In his lap. In the back of their friends car. Moaning Phil’s name! Phil debated waking him up, or just waiting until they got home and ignoring the whole situation. His awkwardness decided the second option was best. Only seconds later Dan was grinding again and panting against Phil’s hand which was still covering his mouth. Phil prayed to every god he could think of that this car ride would be over soon because he was starting to get hard under his sleeping friend. He knew that he shouldve moved his hands from where they were on Dan’s hips because he didnt want to invade his friends space during a dream like this. Phil’s self conscious had a different idea though and moved his hands somewhere worse. Dan’s plump ass. He knew it wasnt right but he couldnt fight his instincts. Dans grinding slowed, but only so that he could push back into Phil’s hands. Phil squeezed hard and Dan’s eyes shot open. “Oh no,” Phil whispered almost completely silent. “Ph-” “Okay guys, we’re here.” Peej announced from the front seat, “See you guys Monday. Have a good weekend.” Dan slowly and cautiously crawled out of Phils lap, careful to hide his hard on from his friends as they said goodbye. When Chris and PJ pulled out of Dan’s drive way Dans mouth failed to make a sound even though he opened it. “I’m so sorry Dan! I dont know what i was thinking but you were grinding on me- and- an- and you moan- moaned my name! My body was just reacting I’m so so so sorry!!” Phil spat out quickly. “Hey, ba-Phil, don’t worry, its okay, I lik-” Dan paused and didnt finish his thought, “Lets just go inside. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to okay babe- Phil.” “Oh god I’m so sorry for making things awkward I didnt mean to but you kept going and oh god im so sorry-” “Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to shut up Philly?” “Make me,” Phil shot back but instantly regretted it. “Oh my god I didnt mean t-” He was cut off by Dan’s lips against his. “Do you really think you touching my ass bothered me? You even said yourself that i was moaning your name idiot.” “Shh,” Phil joked and grabbed Dans hand. The kiss had boosted Phil’s self confidence, and he thought back to what his friends said about Dan having a crush on him. “How about we go up to your room baby? We can handle the little problem I have and sort our relationship out afterwards.” “O-okay,” Dans usually dominating voice was small and timid now. He led Phil into the house and tugged his hands up the stairs. He wasnt leading because Phil didnt know where to go, of course he did, but because Phil was going at the slowest pce possible so that Dan would have to wait. “Please Phil, come onnn~” he whined. Once they reached Dans room he flung the door open. “Calm down baby, you’ll get what you want if you wait.” “But I want you now-” Dan was going to continue complaining like a child but he was cut off by a kiss. Phil pulled away and smirked,“Thats pay back for cutting me off earlier dick.” “Philly! No cussing!”, he playfully hit him on the chest. He was glad that his crush changed nothing. Hell, him grinding on his friend while having a wet dream changed nothing. They were still best friends and this moment made that clear to Dan. Phil smiled goofily at him and leaned in again, only to end up kissing Dan’s cheek though because Dan moved at last minute. Dan giggled and did it again when Phil attempted another kiss. “Oh whatever babe, now come on, I wanna kiss you more.” “Hmm- Nope.” Dan slid out of Phil’s grip and giggled as he ran across the room and leapt onto his bed. Phil chased after him, laughing also. He sat down next to Dan and just gazed at his friends eyes. “You’re so gorgeous Dan,” he said as he reached out and cupped his face, “Can I kiss you again?” “I dunno can you?” Dan teased. Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in slowly. Their lips collided and Dan swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. It all seemed so real, Phil’s hand in his hair, Phil’s lips on his own. Quickly he became paranoid. Even though they had this moment of goofing around would their friendship change after tonight? Would they end badly? Apparently Phil could hear him thinking because he pulled back. “Dan, baby calm down. We can stop if you want, we dont have to do anything. We can even pretend this never happened if thats what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you love.” “I’m just scared- I want you though, now come here again,” They kissed at Dans pace and soon Dan leaned back and rested his head against the pillows. “Will you touch me? Please? I dont care what you do. Just please-” “Of course princess. Can I straddle you?” Dan nodded and Phil climbed into his lap. He lowered his hands down to Dan’s sides and looked up for consent before putting his hands under Dan’s shirt. It was all so intimate, Dan couldnt help but moan at the light little touches running up and down his chest. “Please- just give me more please baby I’ll do anything.” “We’re gonna go slow okay? Just wait and you’ll get what you want.” Phil took Dans shirt off after asking if it was okay and slowly started to kiss over his chest. “You’re so pretty, have such a nice chest and a lovely stomach.” He pinched Dan’s side in a joking manor and smiled up at the giggling boy. Dan blushed and looked away,“Oh come on youre just saying that,” “I know you just found out I fancy you, but ever since we met I have thought that. Youre truly breathtaking Dan, and if youll let me I’d really really like to touch you right now.” He kissed down Dans stomach, closer and closer to his pant line. “Plea-” His plead was cut off by a loud moan as Phil kissed his dick through his skinny jeans. “More. More More More Please!” Phil unzipped Dans skinny jeans and started to pull them off. They got stuck at mid thigh and Dan burst out laughing. “Stop laughing you dick!” That only made him laugh more. Phil silenced him though by mouthing over Dan’s briefs. Dan gasped as soon as he felt the warm sensation through his underwear and Phil could feel his friends cock twitch. “How far do you wanna go love?” “Can- I- um-” Phil was sliding Dans skinny jeans off fully as Dan was attempting to speak. “Mhmm?” “Can you fuck me?” Dan said in one breath. Phil smiled up at him while he took his own shirt off. “How about you ride me? That way you can control the pace baby. Does that sound nice?” Dan glanced at Phil’s exposed chest and was only half listening when he nodded. “Have you ever prepped before? If you know what im trying to say…” Phil stared down at his feet and blushed as he was saying this. Dans confidence had shot through the roof with all of the compliments Phil was giving him so he decided to go with his cocky response. “Of course I have, I did this morning in the shower. Thinking about your nice thick cock. I want it everywhere. In my hand, in my mouth, in my ass.” Phil groaned and hurried to take off his own skinny jeans while Dan kept going. “I even did after school too, before the movie. I was thinking about you touching me the whole time. Thinking about your fingers trailing all up and down my chest. Thinking about your lips nipping at my neck-” he was cut off by Phil doing just that. He left a love bite right above his shoulder and then carried on with more all over Dan’s neck. He left one right below his jaw, one on his collarbone. Anywhere he could reach. “So I dont have to stretch you then?” Phil laughed in a teasing way and asked Dan where he kept the lube. “Be-bed side table-” Dan blushed as Phil pulled Dan’s boxers down. “Hm? Why are you so nervous? What else am i going to find?” He said casually as he slipped off his own boxers and reached for the drawer. When Phil opened the bed side table he expected pornos, or the pair of joke hand cuffs PJ got Dan last christmas. But not all of these. No. He would never guess that dan would have these. Lets just have a run down of what exactly Phil was looking at. A drawer full of bright pink and purple dildos. And vibrators. And lacy panties. Black ones to be specific. And two bottles of empty lube and one fairly empty bottle of lube. His jaw dropped as his picked up a huge vibrator. Phil would say that hes a pretty big guy down there but this fucking vibrator was at least ten inches. Dan hid behind his hands as Phil examined all of the different vibes and such. “Hm.. maybe we’ll have fun with those later, but for right now I think I’ll just have you ride me.” He smirked again cheekily and Dan just rolled his eyes and grabbed the last bottle of lube and a condom. “Shut up and turn over so I can ride you, you dick,” he said as he rolled the condom onto Phils dick. “Oh look at Mr.dominant coming out. Who wouldve guess you’re dominant with all of those toys in there?” Phil snickered at his own joke but Dan just hit his chest and shut him up with a kiss. Since Dan was acting so needy Phil decided it was best to just get on with it. So he had Dan straddle him and positioned his cock right at Dan’s entrance. As Dan slowly sunk down onto the tip of Phil’s dick they both groaned. Phil had to try with all his might to keep his needy teenage body from bucking up into Dan. “Oh god- can I go further?” Dan asked. “Of course you can doofus.” Dan tweaked his nipple for that comment; which was simultaneously causing pain and pleasure for Phil. He began to go further, taking in an inch at a time and pausing to groan and take a breath. It was pure agony for Phil to just sit there completely still so he tried to distract himself with praises for Dan. “Good job baby boy, you take me so well, look so good like that.” While Phil let these praises out Dan had nothing to do but gasp and moan. When he finally got all of Phil’s cock inside him Phil stopped with the praises and instead bit all over Dan’s neck again. The love bites from earlier were already starting to fade since they were nothing more than a little nip, but Phil was determined to leave a mark this time. He sucked and pulled at the skin with his teeth, pulling away only a couple times to kiss over the freshly bruised skin. When he was done leaving a bright red mark Dan was panting and pleading him to let him move. Of course Phil immediately told him to go whenever he was ready so Dan began bouncing up and down. Even though Phil knew Dan was a virgin he guessed by all of the sex toys that Dan was used to having something up his ass. “Please Phil, its not enough, I need you to fuck up into me~” Phil listened and started to thrust up at the same time that Dan was coming down. He knew he found Dans prostate because Dan gasped and went even faster at the same angle. “God baby you look so good, fucking yourself so good. Can’t wait to see your pretty face when you cum.” These little comments only seemed to spur Dan on more, but soon it was too much and he was completely wrecked. He lifted himself up off of Phils cock and laid next to him. “Phiw- is too much- need you to fuck me, m’ legs are too tired…” “Of course they are you lazy oaf,” after his remark Phil got right to it. He slid his cock right back into Dan and started to thrust back and forth. He could see Dan getting needier by the second, begging for more and blushing and gasping. Phil was entirely blissed out by all of the sounds Dan was making and by how good it felt. “Do you think you can cum untouched baby?” Dan nodded fiercely and moaned at the though of it. He reached behind Phil and pulled him down closer by his neck. “Fuck- Phil I’m getting close-” “You look so good baby, I bet you’ll look stunning when you cum. Begging for more, youll look so perfect.” Dan moaned at his words and started to grind back against Phil movements. Phil found Dans prostate again and pounded into it relentlessly, still letting little praises come out. “Such a good boy. Take me so well. You feel so good.” Dan writhed on the sheets beneath Phil and clenched his sheets tight with both fists. “I need you Phil- need to kiss you.” Phil obliged and leaned down to kiss the needy boy beneath him while keeping the same speed. “Are you going to come baby boy?” Dan groaned and released as a response. He felt as if he was floating for a second. His vision got blurry as he released white streaks all over him and his best friend. When Phil saw the completely blissed out face of Dan he locked eyes with him and released inside the condom. As Phil pulled out Dan found himself feeling empty. Even though some of his toys were huge, none of them felt that good. Phil reached over to Dan’s bedside table and grabbed some tissues that were obviously there for this reason. “So..” “No- no talking now please. Jus’ some cuddles please?” Dan looked up with a pleading, almost innocent look and Phil just couldnt resist. He threw out the tissues and the condom and laid next to Dan. Dan instantly wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist and arms around his neck and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. “Night cutie, we’ll talk in the morning over some pancakes and tea okay?” “Sounds great love, goodnight.”

[haamuressu]

heyhey 18-81

duude are you kidding that’s so many (THANK U) (also im gonna put this under a link bc no one likes scrolling long posts)

18: Are they a relative? (the question 17 was about my 1st phone contact)

I’m a proper family girl and my 1st phone contact is my mom. funnily enough also the person I send the most amount of messages/make the most amount of calls

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

”Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. “ - John F. Kennedy. (in other words: Nope)

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

a couple of hours ago lol

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

fuck no, I really hate the idea of marrying super young. I mean everyone else can live their life like they please but I don’t feel like settling down at 17 is the route I want to take. no sir

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

sure I have no regrets (that’s a blatant lie, I regret like 90% of my life but the last person I kissed and/or kissing them is surprisingly not on that list of regrets) 

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

nada, I don’t really wear bracelets

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

”you need to hold tight to whatever gets you through the night” from the true lives of the fabulous killjoys comic.

25: What’s on your mind?

I’m really sore allover because I’ve been working out again and my body is screaming for mercy so that, basically 

26: Do you have any tattoos?

two stick’n’pokes yea

27: What is your favorite color?

changes all the time but currently green or yellow probably. or black which is just always good

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

man idk realistically speaking probably the next time I’m drunk. that’s a habit of mine I really need to get rid of 

29: Who are you texting?

not anyone at the moment

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

I genuinely do not remember . probably ? probably not? I don’t...ok neither of us owns a couch so logically speaking it’s unlikely

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

I predicted my great grandmother’s death when I was eight even tho I had no way of knowing/guessing that she had passed. I know that this isn’t exactly what the question was implying but this came to mind and I thought I’d share

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

a couple and I really see no issue with that whatsoever, I’ve always had friends of all genders and it has not been a big deal for me

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

gosh I really hope that no one has that low standards seriously (bless their mislead heart if so)

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

I constantly hear that from people. brown eyes aren’t that common with finns so idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would probably be doing awkward finger guns at their general direction and/or figuring out a way to smoothly excuse myself from the situation bc who the hell wants to sit around and watch two people make out? the point here is that I wouldnt be upset

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

single, not ready to mingle 

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

a lot of questions related to that. but yes in case you haven’t figured that out

38: What do your friends call you?

just rea, sometimes my birth name or ressu, rebe or just..nerd

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

I’m get upset approximately fifteen times a day so yes probably

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

oh maaaaaaaaaaaan have I

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

arm

42: What is it from?

no comment lol

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

had a shit night at tuesday and threw that typical “I DONT WANNA BE HERE” temper tantrum about my school and campus lol 

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my grandma

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yes dear god my combat boots are my everything

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I might wear a beanie but I don’t really suit any kind of hats (fun fact I used to semi-ironically wear a fedora bc patrick stump was doing it in 2013. glad I got over that)

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

I have shaved my head but it wasn’t Bald bald and nah nope wouldn’t do it again, looking back I now realize that I looked like a fat egg

48: Do you make supper for your family?

rarely but sometimes and I usually fuck something up

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

I’m really sorry for anyone whose door doesn’t

50: Top 3 web-pages?

I’m a youtube addict and also this hellhole is kinda cool. what else..I mean there are so many man

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

my mom

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

better question rn would be “does anything on your body Not hurt?”

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

depends.  like seriously I’m simultaneously very skilled at throwing stuff over my shoulder and never looking but also I’m really talented at never getting over things

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

coffee, surprisingly 

55: How is your hair?

good, thanks for asking

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

answered!

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

dan and phil probably can so why not anyone else (sorry that was cringey but also...it’s true. fight me)

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was eight so unless I had an elementary school datemate which I don’t recall then proooobably not

59: Green or purple grapes?

greengreengreengreen

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

idk I’m really deprived of human touch come here and I’ll give you one right now

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

not really unless we’re speaking generally just life, then I’m gonna go with maybe a nice coffin underground yes thank u

I have answered 62-69!

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

nine atm

71: How many fingers do you have?

this is such an ominous question lmao ...all of them. and I’d like to keep them, thank you

72: What is your ringtone?

I have no idea my phone is always on mute. probably the standard one then 

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

18 fukc what the hell I’m going to be technically an adult that’s hilarious 

74: Where is your Mum right now?

asleep , I hope. in her bedroom a couple of walls behind me

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

error 303: too personal, not comfortable with processing data

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

nah I’ve mostly been alone 

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

a few of them but not very many

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

this some american shit I don’t understand...what does year seven mean...

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

nah altho I know a few people called Mikko which is probably like the finnish equivalent of mike

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

 I guess ?

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

in this economy? are you kidding, robert.

thank you sm for asking !!!