#im so fucking dense!!!1!!!

[welcometogrouchland]

Finally saw Wicked today. I fear it is, in fact, actually all that and a bag of chips. Like it is genuinely that good

[ynwa4eva]

Mom complaining about everything happening at this airport 1. as if I AM RESPONSIBLE 2. i need to pay somebody to DEHAG THIS FUCKING WOMAN. Imagine become UNMANAGEABLE and more ANGRY than white actors in critically acclaimed movies just because you havent smoked in 10 hours FUCK YOU

[tkbrokkoli]

mh

[wetpapert0wel]

the one thing i hate abt having long hair is that it gets in my face all the time . and my hair is almost too thick to tuck behind my ears. 💀

my best option for keeping my hair out of my face is to put it up in a ponytail . my hair is too thick for most hair clips. i got the biggest hair clip i could find @ the grocery store but it doesn't like staying put 💀

[amakumos]

CUPID’S CORNER — nishimura riki

synopsis. because he’s a little shit, nishimura riki sends a totally embarrassing confession about you to “cupid’s corner”, a twitter account that posts anonymous confessions from decelis academy students. but when that joke confession suddenly makes a bunch of people confess to you on cupid’s corner (for real this time!) riki finds that he’s jealous — and oh… he can’t believe it took him a fake confession to realise that he’s crazily in love with you.

pairing. best friend! riki x fem! reader

genre. smau, fluff, humour, slight angst

warnings. swearing, riki’s a little shit but so is yn😭 rikiyn are dense and just overall silly people in general

status. complete

author’s note. i lied about never having another smau. this is inspired by my friend submitting an embarrassing confession of me to one of those confession accs . i got my revenge tho😍

server link . here's the link to join the discord server. you're welcome to discuss theories with fellow readers ^_^

profiles 1! / profiles 2!

ONE — be my girlfriend TWO — my kyky THREE — get a job! stay away from her! FOUR — gimme chocolate FIVE — BS = bank statement SIX — im so eunchae SEVEN — stupid vball anon EIGHT — deep thoughts in the toilet NINE — hiiiii (manipulatively) TEN — bob, the cat ELEVEN — i keep it 99 cuz i b lying sometimes TWELVE — stupid moral compass THIRTEEN — me when im ran FOURTEEN — ugly emotion FIFTEEN — hyungyeom's adventures in hell SIXTEEN — cried into my suitcase SEVENTEEN — fuck up that plastic packaging EIGHTEEN — toilet emoji NINETEEN — he’s poohing TWENTY — out of all people TWENTY ONE — i don't know when i want!!! TWENTY TWO — niall horan TWENTY THREE — i have a confession TWENTY FOUR — riki fanclub TWENTY FIVE — r u srs TWENTY SIX — may god bless the asteroid TWENTY SEVEN — my #1(0) TWENTY EIGHT — rikiy/n > the world TWENTY NINE — cupid dumb era THIRTY — be my boyfriend

[kamii-2]

now hear me out. Kk arnold turning reader gay but reader thinks she’s straight

-👾

hi 👾 anon!! i actually love you so much for requesting this and making me decide that i should make this a series, but anyway this is just a little backstory to everything so sorry if it’s confusing in any type of way.

warning(s): cussing, kk and reader don’t actually physically interact this chapter, suggestive thoughts

genre: fluff

pairing(s): kk arnold x reader

“you thought wrong” masterlist

==================================

chapter 1: “bro she’s literally the reason i’m gay.”

==================================

kk arnold has to be the finest person you’ve ever seen in your life, everything about her is just perfect. her personality, humor, smile, face, body, everything. the only problem is that you think she’s straight and kk is quite the opposite of that. she think you’re the prettiest girl to ever walk this earth, she has the same problem as you, she thinks your straight.

the only reason youre gay is because of kk, she turned you lesbian. but the way she talked on her lives to fans made you think she was straight but she did not look straight and you were to dense to see that. your friends have told you multiple time that she’s gay but you never believed them.

you figured out you were gay on a random sunday night, you were laying in your bed scrolling through tiktok when you got a notification from instagram that kk was live. you and kk were friends were sort of close, you knew a lot about her, or so you thought, and decided to join. when you joined it was her and paige just messing around, they were play fighting and ignoring the phone as they messed around but when they came back she checked the viewers, “hi y/n!” she said while waving at the phone, paige waving with her. you admired kk’s features and voice and it just kind of happened. you were thinking about how fine she was and then it clicked, kk just turned you gay and made you like her in less than a minute. you left the live quick as fuck and went back on tiktok, them edits of kk started popping up. “fuck.” you muttered to yourself as you favorited all of them.

- current day -

the time was 6:04am you were in the bathroom doing your hair. as you were doing it, your friend symphony facetimed you. “hey y/nnnn.” she greeted, “heyyyy” you replied back with the same energy. “guess what.” she smiled, “what?” you smiled back, “i bought tickets to the Uconn women’s basketball game tonight. the game is at 5:00 so i’ll come get you at 4:45.” your jaw dropped, “oh my god i love you so much, ALSO i have so much to tell you!” you yelled while clapping.

-

after all of your classes you went back to your dorm and waited for symphony to get there. while you waiting you scrolled on tiktok, favoriting kk edits as you scrolled. at around 4:00 you decided to redo your hair and touch up your makeup, at 4:44 symphony texted you that she was outside and you grabbed everything you needed then headed out the door to her car. “heyyy.” you said happily as you got in, “hiii.” she smiled. “okay so a few days ago i joined kk arnold’s live the boom i found out im gay and that i like her in less than a minute.” you dumped on her the moment she went silent, “AS IN THE BASKETBALL PLAYER?” she yelled, “isn’t there only one kk arnold?” you asked, “OH MY GOD.” she yelled again. “okay, okay, we have to go if we wanna make it on time.” you were trying to make her stop yelling, “sorry, i can’t believe what you just told me man.” she was now laughing.

when you guys got to your seats the game was about to start in 2 minutes. you guys talked about college, the basketball teams, and drama. once the team came out symphony was checking everyone out, “ooh, number 10 lowkey fine, not even lowkey, highkey!” she muttered to you, you just laughed at her antics and kept watching them play. “i know you said that you liked kk but i can’t help but admit the fact that she’s fine as hell.” symphony muttered to you again, “i know. bro she literally turned me gay.”

as the game went on you and symphony kept talking about the basketball team and you guys got back on the topic of your sexuality. “kk is gay for sure.” symphony added on to your last sentence, “no she’s not she doesn’t look- she definitely looks gay but the things she says aren’t. she talks about her man all the time on lives.” you defended her, “are you dense?” symphony looked at you like you had 7 eyes. “she’s saying that stuff because she’s famous and has fans and people who look up to her.” symphony argued. “true.” you mumbled and the conversation ended there.

-

after the game, you and symphony went out to eat then she dropped you off at your dorm. you thought about what symphony had said until you fell asleep, is kk really gay or straight and looks gay? you weren’t sure and honestly you really wanted to find out.

==================================

okay so before i finish everything off, let me introduce the characters

y/n l/n: 18, from chicago illinois (illinois barely gets any recognition and that’s where i’m from just not chicago and this is my story so i can do whatever i want)

symphony roy: 18, from chicago illinois, black, y/n’s childhood friend

==================================

i hope you guys enjoyed the first part of “you thought wrong” !! i will post more parts later this week anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[sethdomain]

more about the guys and special stats in read more

c!tommy

Member of the Republic of L'manburg, he quickly soared in rank and instantly became Wilbur right hand man and a commander in the ranks.

Wilbur really favored him and this caused a bit resentment growing toward Tommy because the member viewed his rise as 'unfair'

Strenght-> 5 -Average Joe / idk i think he would be normal

Perception-> 9 - Sniper Hawk/ He would be very very aware, because this bitch will literally die if his perception is so as much as lower than he is rn

endurance-> 7 -Tough as nail/ He was carrying Dream shit and run around across the desert

Charisma->6 -cheery salesman/ dude literally copied schlatt

Intellegent-> 4 -Knuckle head/ He is a bit dense sometimes and would made stupid decision without thinking through it(he made this often and still will not learn bruh)

Agility-> 6 -catlike/ I'd say with his built he have to adapt to a more lithe like base moveset

Luck-> 1- 13 pitch-black cats/ ironically, being alive gotta count as 10 luck but no. He literally almost die 24/7 i think dead itself might be a sparing from the current predicament he's being ensnared in contstantly, so dead would be considered a luck in itself /jokes.

C!Wilbur

The leader of L'manburg, an incredibly charismatic guy who managed to band together a set of people that supports his goals.

Strenght-> 4 -Lightweight/ I think wilbur dont do much in term of doing the heavy stuff, he just order people to be doing those

Perception-> 3 -Squinting Newt/ this guy doesn't gaf, he thinks he's invisible because he constantly has bodyguard looming over him and he tends to not be in the danger zone much

Endurance-> 2- Crumbly/Bitch need to run

Charistma-> 10-Cult Leader/ He literally managed to convince people to support L'manburg, which i remind you in this au is a shittier NCR

Intellegent-> 7-Know it all/ I would say he probably knows a little about medicine and weaponsmith, he's also very emotionally intellect

Agility-> 5-under control/ normal

Luck-> 9-21 leaf clover/ this guy is so fucking lucky and yet he doesn't appreciates it

these next session wont be as detailed cuz im yawnin g n tired

C!Dream

Leader of the Dream Legion, A group with the desire to end the suffering of the esempi wasteland.

Strenght-> 7 -Beach bully

Perception-> 7 -Big eyed Tiger

Endurance-> 7 -Tough as nail

Charisma-> 3 -Creepy undertaker

Intellgent-> 6 -Gifted

Agility-> 9-Knife Catcher

Luck-> 10-Two-Headed Coin Flip

C!Fundy

Member of L'manburg Wilbur son, ex-right hand man

S=5

P=6

E=4

C=5

I=9

A=6

L=4

C!Sapnap

One of Dream trusted men, he was a brotherhood Knight but joined Dream once he learn about his whereabout

S=8

P=4

E=8

C=6

I=3

A=3

L=7

C!Niki

Member of L'manburg, was a freesider but joined L'manburg with wilbur persuasion. She works as a medic and gunsmithing

S=5

P=8

E=3

C=7

I=7

A=6

L=7

C!Quackity

Schlatt fucking overworked casino worker he handles all his paperwork and feuds

S=1

P=2

E=4

C=9

I=8

A=7

L=8

C!Schlatt

control the monopoly in the las nevadas district

S=7

P=1

E=7

C=10

I=5

A=3

L=8

[eepywriters]

I LOVED YOUR MESSAGES WITH QUACKITY ❤️❤️❤️

please do getting into an agrument with quackity headcanons please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻😙😙🫣‼️💕💕🩷🩷

.✦°. • getting into an argument hcs (*´Д｀*)

warnings: a bit of angst and maybe a bit ooc? I tried 😞🤚🏻

a/n: HIII!! THANK U SO MUCH! It means a lot :D and sorry if it took so long ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ finals kicked my ass so I couldn’t write for a while BUT IM HERE SO LET’S GET INTO IT

EARLY INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

(thinking of a young, little experienced Alex)

Oh it’s jover

This could actually be something that could cause a breakup cuz let me tell you THIS MAN just can’t stand confrontation

If it’s something that bugged you, he’d probably understand your point of view but would also be very overwhelmed at the thought of losing you cause he hasn’t been good enough for you, resulting in him hyper focusing on his spiraling thoughts rather than listening to what you are saying

I feel like he’d also be the type to act like nothing happened right after an argument; he’d ignore the tense situation and make jokes to light up the mood and forget about it. He’s not dense, he knows it hurts you to see him seemingly ignore your feelings like that, but he’s not used to being listened so he ends up making his partner go trough his predicament as well

BUT it’s even worse if it’s something that bugged HIM; he probably wouldn’t tell you about it, much preferring to suck it up and don’t cause problems, even though he IS creating more problems

the underlying tension caused by his silence would bring the relationship to a breaking point:

1 you break up and the regret eats him up (probably also wouldn’t reach out again because of shame and a tiny bit of ego)

2 you talk about it cause it can’t go on like this

When I talk about bugging tho, I’m thinking about things that don’t surge an immediate reaction from him, because if he’s mad, he’s mad.

He’s the venomous type, forget his silence and self pity, he’ll probably laugh in your face in irritation and say whatever the fuck he thinks

He’ll retreat to his office as soon as he sees the hurt in your face, understanding he went to far and going back to he’s usual silence, ending up giving you the silence treatment. (he also feels incredibly ashamed) (he’ll just stay in his office all day, editing mindlessly since his mind is anywhere but in the work he’s doing)

He’ll either leave you alone in bed that day, making you sulk and feel as lonely as ever, or will sleep with you but it’ll be the coldest shit ever (like the typical movie scene where two people sleep super afar from each other)

Don’t misunderstand tho, he does feel guilty, he just struggles with communicating his feelings properly (*´ー｀*)

“(Name) I’m not a child, stop acting like you are my fucking mom” he spat, a look of indignation spreading on his features, shaping his otherwise gentle appearance into a strong, furious one.

“Cant you understand that I’m worried about you?” you strike back, jaw impossibly tightened “I understand that you’re very dedicated to your job, but you can’t get yourself to this state.” You sigh, not able to keep up the mad act: “You look very tired Alex”.

You take a tentative step towards him, determined to show him you weren’t scolding him, nor were you mad at him. You were trying to establish contact with him, not start a fight, after all your irritation came from worry, not anger. But he didn’t receive that well. His brows scrunching even further while his mouth twitches downwards.

“Stop acting like I’m some fucking rabid animal. I can take care of myself just fine, I don’t need a fucking babysitter”.

Seems that wasn’t the right move.

The way he was saying your name was probably what hurt the most. You find yourself missing the gentle tone he usually reserved to it when spoken.

“What are you even saying?” you breathe out, your voice being so fragile you almost don’t recognize it as your own. “Do you hear what you are saying? You are being impossible Alex”.

At this point his foot is stomping nervously on the floor. He’s getting annoyed by the minute and he can’t wait to forget about this tense situation. Arguments always put him on edge, but instead of working on the root cause of his discomfort, he always had preferred to just get himself out of the mess as soon as possible. (He hadn’t yet grasped how much that could hurt others). And that’s why, out of everything he could’ve gone, he replied with the one of the most uncalled for things he could ever come up with.

“Maybe instead of worrying about me, you should take a good look at yourself first”.

And you know what he was trying to entail.

You were never insecure of your dark circles, or at least, it wasn’t something that bugged you on the daily ever since you had found a common ground with Alex, knowing he struggled with very prominent circles cause of his lack of sleep. But for someone like him, who always had a hard time with his appearance, to clap back at you by going for your looks? Foul. Unexpected. Not like him at all.

You were sure he could tell from the look of disbelief on your face that he had fucked up.

Alex’s breathing keeps up, his chest constricts, and the anger and the pride that he has wearing like a tailored suit are stripped out of him at the sight of your frown. His mind goes haywire trying to come up with any response.

Maybe if you would’ve known him better by then, you would’ve known how terrified he was of your judgment. Even though his fame often had him deal with horrible comments filled with free hate, if judgement came from you, it scarred 100 times more than anything could ever do.

“Just leave it be, I’m fine” it’s all he mutters before booking it and hiding himself in his office, leaving you to stand there, in the middle of your living room.

Tears prickle your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and your lip begs you for mercy as you bite into it.

God, why was communicating so difficult in this house?

LONG INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

It took time, it took healing, it took sitting down and TALKING to finally find your balance

He’s still pretty much venomous when it comes to immediate triggers, but after you are both done fighting and cursing each other out, you talk about it and come out of it somewhat unscathed

Anger isn’t easy to control or refrain after all, but you both try your best, and you are able to make up most of the times without falling into old dynamics of silent treatment or isolation

If something bugs him, he most likely will tell you; he is hesitant about it, but after many nights spent in your arms, he starts to let go on some of his biggest worries (anxiety still gnaws at his core every time he opens his mouth though, that doesn’t get old at all)

If something bugs you, he doesn’t shy away from confrontation anymore; he’s not perfect at it either, he still feels the urge to run away and laugh about it all, but he’s gotten way better at it

He’s still very scared of you having a negative opinion about him, but now you know him well enough to spend some extra time to reassure him that you won’t stop loving him for a petty fight, and that arguments in relationship are important to grow not only as a couple, but as people too

“(Name)” he calls out, and you instantly recognize the hint of anxiety that he’s trying to hide from you.

“Yes honey?” you reply, taking your eyes off your phone to stare into his pretty, brown ones. They screamed stress, fear, yet also determination. He did so much progress compared to the beginnings of your relationship. You were proud of him.

Alex took a deep breath before saying: “Uhm, It’s about the photo of us you posted earlier”. You could practically smell the tension in the air. His body is stiff, his chest is heaving, but your gaze is captured by his fingers and by how his nails are digging into them continuously, tearing his already red skin.

You take his hands in yours, preventing him from doing further damage to his poor, abused fingers. You knew he does it as a way to ground himself, but he really needed to find a new coping method - one that didn’t feature him torturing his body if possible.

He stares at his hands in yours for a while. You don’t say anything, allowing him to take his time.

“Okay fuck it” Alex whispers under his breath, so quietly you almost miss it.

“It makes me feel insecure, I don’t like it” he admits, keeping his focus on your hands as he munches his bottom lip nervously. You, in response, draw slow circles on his hands, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can you delete it..?” he sounds unsure, like he’s testing the waters instead of actually making a request. Either way you welcome it.

You put one of your fingers under his chin, gently applying pressure for him to lift his head, just enough to look at you. “Of course I can. Thank you for telling me Alex, I know it’s hard”. His once tense body relaxes.

He avoids your tender gaze, seemingly preferring to stare at the floor, yet you see the soft blush that was quickly taking over his cheeks. You also can’t help but notice that he already had found his charming smile back.

“Stop looking at me like that” he mumbles as his smile spreads. Uh oh, that can only mean trouble.

“Like what” your eyes narrow, not trusting his new found confidence.

“Like this”.

His imitation is pitiful: furrowed eyebrows, small frown and large puppy dog eyes. The more you look at him, the more he reminds you of that one emo guy that kind of looks like him (he definitely does). He looks ridiculous. How did you even fall in love with this dude?

You slap his arm, scoffing out a laugh as you look at him incredulous: “I don’t look like that!”.

“I think you do” he says with a smug tone, one that makes you want to hit him with a pillow till he goes back to sleep. And maybe you just will.

“Oh it’s on you motherf-“

The room was filled with laughter instead of unconfortable, loud silence.

(first post of 2024 yippiee)

[justalildumpling]

⇢ finding cinderella

synopsis: it wasn’t often jeno showed emotions of love and affection, let alone kissing a stranger at a party that he doesn’t even remember?! determined to find his nameless cinderella, he began searching the campus far and wide but as hidden secrets started surfacing, he started to wonder whether the midnight spark was meant to be pursued after all.

pairing: jeno x fem! reader genre: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, crack warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, jokes about murder status: completed started: 14th February 2023 ended: 13th July 2023 update schedule: twice a week (probs mon & thurs??) taglist: closed🤍!!

note: this is the third instalment of the 'lovesick fools universe'! (tho it can be standalone) holy crap, the journey leading up to writing this fic was... chaotic💀 also imma be fr guys, this is gonna be a hell of a long rollercoaster so buckle up🥴

⎯ navi for lovesick fools universe

profiles 1/3: jay's sugar babies profiles 2/3: dream squad!! profiles 3/3: dream squad!! (pt. 2) chapter 1: the fucked up uni chapter 2: the ball and the glass slipper chapter 3: as the clock struck midnight chapter 4: after the magic wore off🍻 chapter 5: her own version of glass slippers👟 chapter 6: the prince and the stepsisters💀 chapter 7: her nike zoom pegasus chapter 8: prince jeno’s big fat L chapter 9: cinderella’s rats🤨 chapter 10: the questionable wingmen🤨 chapter 11: awkwardly dense charming chapter 12: breaking and (not) entering💀 chapter 13: bye mum im getting married💅 chapter 14: soft launch🙈 chapter 15: avengers assemble🫡 chapter 16: pussy🙄 chapter 17: nomin’s divorce era chapter 18: oh how the turn tables chapter 19: jinx😡 chapter 20: 🤡 chapter 21: loving him was red chapter 22: a twisted cinderella story chapter 23: coping mechanisms chapter 24: denial is river in egypt chapter 25: the story of us chapter 26: the untold truth chapter 27: gaslight, gatekeep, not girlbossing chapter 28: sneaky snake🐍 chapter 29: karma is her bf��� chapter 30: closing the cinderella story?? chapter 31: DAS MY BFF😤😤😤 chapter 32: lucifier’s new friend🫣 chapter 33: ok relationship veteran🥵 chapter 34: my soulmate frfr😔✋ chapter 35: sunwoo’s party pt.194859🫠 chapter 36: if the shoe fits chapter 37: so this is love🩵 (finale)

next lovesick fool: renjun

[m4rs-ex3]

so i finally finished the book 1 novelization. after owning it for 3 years. .............................................i've been busy. anyway, let the thoughts commence!

also i only started marking sections at like ep 5 don't ask why

even CLAUDIA could tell that rayla was a cinnamon roll

stop she's incredible

a) he's a dork b) i think they should kiss

"this freckle-faced goof [gren] was going to be the easiest prisoner he'd ever encountered." is he right? yes. am i still taking offense to this? yes

"'i didn't kill anyone,' Rayla said. it surprised her that she was so proud of this fact." YAS YOU GO GIRL

these additional details are incredibly necessary thank you so much Book

"Viren blinked twice, amazed at the folly of his own offspring." i know that it's incredibly sad but goddamn that is so funny

STOPPPPPPPP I CANT 😭 the use of the word "adored" no one fucking talk to me

them

"Rayla and Callum didn't know how easy they had it, what with their long legs and no heavy dragon egg on their backs."

the way that even back then ez was already thinking like a king, even when the subject was so "not of a king's concern," for lack of a better term (why am i rhyming)

what can i even say about this oh my god

"'no, not really, dummy.' sometimes, Rayla could barely believe the denseness she had to put up with."

god i love him god i love him i l obe him i love him i love hiom oi love hiojm and everybody clapped

sometimes these slight dialogue changes mean the world to me

his autistic ass 😭

"he turned and spoke only to her." i am dying

"i've always been different. it's hard for me to make friends with other kids. i just feel like i don't fit in." -> "i've always been different. i don't really 'get' other kids, and it's... so hard for me to fit in." this is AUTISTIC CODING he has AUTISM that is IT we have autistic claudia try and tell me that this child does have the tism and that they don't fucking know that

LMAO LITERALLY KICKING ROCKS HE'S SUCH A PISSBABY I LOVE IT

this is Everything to me. i. a moment of all time. behead me

i think they should kiss pt 2

STOP THEY CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME THE SIBLINGS OF ALL TIME ISTG

"Callum lingered" "for some reason, she wanted to share what she had seen with Callum, even is she didn't tell anyone else" i. think. they. should. kiss.

"Callum glared at his brother. there was a ginormous spider in their way. many things about this situation weren't right."

SHUT UP WHAT DO I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS. OH YOURE TELLING ME THAT RAYLA IS IN A WHOLE NOTHER CLASS FROM ELLIS AND AVA?? THAT SHE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A "FRIEND"??? BOTH IS THE SENSE THAT HE IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER AND THAT HE JUST GENERALLY MEANS MORE TO HIM????? IM THEOWING U _P (hey guys i think they should kiss)

shut the fuck up. buddy. i am gagged

oh Him

damn girl's always had a problem with Layla 💀

dear christ. the matter of fact "no, this is not your fault" (4x06 "Rayla. don't."), "he couldn't let Rayla carry that burden alone" (5x04, anybody?) also i am 100% reading way too far into this but it's still callum's pov so he is the one who described her "violet eyes" and i just would like to state this for the record

and oh yeah i think they should kiss

[sexhaver]

writing to encourage you to post a recipe of your successful smashed potatoes!🙌 that shit looked nutritionally dense and I love more food per food when possible especially if tasty

ingredience:

3lbs fingerling potatoes (i used a 50/50 mix of yellow and red but whatever works)

6ish cups broth (if you use veggie broth this is vegetarian)

1 pint heavy cream

3-4tbsp butter

6ish cloves garlic (literally impossible to overdo the garlic here, go with your heart)

salt, pepper, thyme, and parsley

flour

BONUS: cayenne pepper and mustard powder

steps:

wash the dirt off your potatoes and dump them in a big pot (ideally one with close to 90 degree angles on the bottom instead of a curve). pour in all the broth. if the potatoes aren't entirely submerged, add water until they are (but just barely), then turn the heat on high and put a lid on it

while the potatoes start boiling, crush and peel your garlic WITHOUT CHOPPING IT

add 2 tbsp of butter to a sauce pot and heat on medium high until melted and sizzling

add the garlic cloves and swirl/baste them in the butter for a few minutes until they and the butter both start to turn brown

dump in all of the heavy cream, then add salt, pepper, parsley, thyme, cayenne pepper, and powdered mustard to taste. unfortunately i do not have measurements for any of the spices because i cooked this while drunk. follow your heart here

reduce the heat on the heavy cream mixture until it's simmering (not all the way down to low, you still want some bubbles). by this point the potatoes should be boiling (leave the lid on). set a timer for somewhere around 23-25 minutes

come back and stir the heavy cream mixture every few minutes, and stir the potatoes once or twice throughout their cooking process

when the timer goes off, strain the potatoes out from the broth, BUT make sure to save at least two cups of the broth before pouring the rest down the drain

use a potato masher to mash the potatoes, skin and all (none of this fucking around with the back of a spoon). ideally you should probably do this in a separate bowl to avoid microplastics in your food, but im not a cop (this is why we picked a pot with 90 degree angles in step 1)

once the potatoes are properly mashed, dump most (but not all!) of the reduced heavy cream mixture in with them and continue mashing to spread it out evenly (this will also mash in the garlic cloves, which is why we didn't need to slice/dice them earlier). you should leave behind enough heavy cream to coat the bottom of the pot and then some

let the potatoes rest for a second and put the heavy cream back on medium-high heat. add 2 tbsp of butter and wait until it melts, using the whisk to mix it in with the remaining heavy cream

once the butter is melted, sprinkle in some flour, using the whisk to integrate it with the butter + cream mixture. again, i don't have exact measurements for this because i was drunk, but you want to keep adding flour and whisking until you're left with some pretty thick clumps of what looks like brown dough

crank the heat just a little higher while whisking the dough around to get it nice and burnt all over. once you're satisfied with your work and/or you start smelling burning, dump in some of the saved broth to deglaze the stuff burnt to the bottom of the pan (it should sizzle at first, that's good + normal). keep up the whisking motion so the added liquid is integrated with the dough, then add more liquid and repeat over time. eventually you should end up with something recognizable as gravy. congrats, you just made gravy from roux!

use the rest of the broth to thin out the mashed potatoes if necessary, mashing it in just like the heavy cream mixture

????

profit!

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ friday 27th of december

⋆˙⟡

TW FOR THE END OF MY ENTRY !!!!! for pic of sfx blood makeup… T_T

friday hmmmm.. well that was yesterday… i woke up and weighed myself ! i was half a kg less then the day before that… so that was very relieving T_T do you guys like a picture of a guy in a bra ? it was the smallest size they have at the local store… i tried to make it look flattering… but i feel like im too fat too pull this whole… feminine man in a bra look off…

i got up and did god knows what and then ate breakfast !

breakfast :

1 slice of home made bread cut into 2 pieces, the smallest bit of zuivel spread on both, with some smoked salmon, and a bit of crushed salt and pepper (gamechanger)

half a small bowl of vanilla pudding that was left over… and what looks like a big blob of cinnamon

a cup of some kind of herbal tea with some lemon in it

the sandwich was GOOD ! the salt and pepper ontop and just the whole combo was very rich and flavourful,

(can i interrupt this by saying im writing this at work at 8 am and some fuckass came in and said so much with such little actual words and completely fried my brain COMPLETELY like omg ? ok back to what i was saying……)

the salt and the pepper ontop changed it from being a good breakfast to being a really enjoyable breakfast ! the bread is i think the best my moms ever made… i can’t exactly describe it… it was dense and maybe a bit… im not sure, not too dry… which i really like… its closer to one of those bread buns rather than a regular old slice of bread… and so thin too !

the tea was gross…. my mom put a bit too toooo much lemon… so much so it stopped being enjoyable and sour, and went straight to being bitter….

after eating, i felt replenished but also somewhat moody. i started on my treadmill having already collected 2k steps from just doing god knows what, and i was determined to get to 10 k… i kind of zoned out the 75 mins i was walking tbh… but the last 5 minutes were stressful cause my step counter absolutely REFUUUUSED to update and this kind of ticked me off… sighs… i needed 200 steps left so i manually counted them at a certain point and got off even if my step counter didn’t update… waah

then i layed in bed… probably fell half asleep at some point, then got up to eat AGAIN… fatty… you see yesterday i wanted to overeat a lot.. on… a lot… a lot… of food… everything you could think of… not only that but i didn’t smoke at all and had had 0 energy drinks (helps reduce appetite and also boosts energy obviously)

dinner :

1/4 of my bowl was filled with some goulash and maybe 10 pieces of that pasta ?

in a small bowl i had some more pasta, maybe another 10 pieces or so… and some vanilla sugar on it…

a small bowl with some salad

a banana mashed up and microwaved

the goulash is basically just meat left to simmer alllll day long on low in a special pot, making the meat very tender and soft and quite flavourful… but im not a fan of this dish when eating it with pasta… only with mashed potato… so i wasn’t feeling it, that’s why half my bowl is fucking empty lol

the sweet pasta thing, usually you’d also put sunflower oil on it, my mom always made it when i was a child, but ill rather swallow a gun whole than directly consume sunflower oil

the salad was leftovers, and the banana was me wanting something sweet idk. surprisingly good tasting to warm up a banana, i ate it with the sweet pasta and the warm banana made it more good… idk… maybe struggle meal ?

idk what i did, but i ate AGAIN cause i was going crazy i can’t recall what happened inbetween i think this was veeery shortly after dinner

snack :

one piece of dark chocolate, and 2 lotus cookies (came in a pack)

it was good, i felt guilty but it’s like i couldn’t be helped lol… atleast it was just a controlled portion and not just… like eating handfuls of everything in sight kind of deal… i’ve done that before soooo hey ! progress.. i would NOT consider this a binge or overeating

after this my mom asked if i wanted to go on a walk with me, and i thought YESSSS I SCORED !!!! i already had 10 k so it’ll only add onto my successes !!!! so we went on this huuuuuge walk… huge ! it was soooo cold like 2 degrees out… brrr

we went to the store and i got some stuff ! taco shells… and beans… i wanted tacos… ofc i will make them myself, you will see it in my blogpost tonight or tommorow… it depends… and it will be a struggle meal bcs im rlly autistic and specific about my food T_T i asked my friend if he can spare me the cost and he couldn’t… so im not chatting with him till later… he said by next week he’ll have 500 euro so he can talk to me then…

anyways when i got back i had something like 17-18 k ! i was so happy with myself even if i felt guilty… i went into bed and i started drawing again… while chewing on vitamin pills ? see i don’t know what happens when i really want to eat BAD why the fuck would you chew on that ??????

i completed the lineart completely by this point and sighed in relief… then i started colouring my characters first… first my favourite… hehe.. i coloured him in completely and then my second favourite, i half completed him… cause then i remembered i had work

i put my ipad away and i layed in bed and forced myself to go to bed… i went to sleep so early my parents weren’t even sleeping yet, so i could sleep with no headphones, no earbuds, just pure silence… infact it was so quiet i didn’t even put on a video… it was such a weird sleep

i remember having a nightmare but i can’t remember exactly what, most likely something with food or something like that you know ? T_T

that was my day !!! weirdly extensive… but im in one of those moooooods you know ?

ignore monday ew… this is what we call beaaaaaauifull consistency ~ i love it !! you see those beautiful numbers ????? i feel so good about it i kind of never want to be under 10 k again TwT

cals : 3 days binge free !!!! today was hard, but i only had controlled portions of everything, so i see it as a win… feel free to disagree tho… i do understand today was a BAD food day… i ate so much !!!!

steps : 18.6 k !!!

my obsession with this soundtrack needs to be studied LMFAO. this track makes me laugh bcs she’s always playing her stupid rpg when it plays going online with her teacher ??? that’s crazy ToT

TW scaaaaaaaaaaaaaars

bonus !!! TwT i thought these turned out sooo cute… the night before i wasn’t feeling so well, so i got some courage and cvt the inside of my arm… i had been wanting to for a long long time… it wasn’t so bad !!!! i started it off really carefully, but slowly did it more and more… by the end i had one last one at the top that showed a little bit of bubbles, just barely :3 those kinds are my favourite ever ~ they hurt soooooo good …

⋆˙⟡

[the--firevenus]

I don't know why it was never occurred to me to check hammie and chippy affinity stories.... GUYS.... GUYS... 😭😭😭

Hammie had a notebook... Of becoming merlin familiar... Oh I'm gonna cry that's so cute oabsosbso

HAMMIE YOU SO PRECIOUS TO ME 😭😭😭😭 God she really is merlin number 1 stan I swear.... Secret chamber full of merlin related items... Hammie please share with the class?????

CRYING SOBBING PUNCHING THE AIR OABWOWBDO oh she loves merlin so much... The lil dolly and hammie anecdotes is so cute aohsowbdd And chippy oh my son.. 😭😭😭

I don't have all of chippy stories yet, I need to collect some resources (im lazy rn owbdoend) but from what I had unlock... oh chippy😭😭

The imagine of newly summoned chippy being fascinated by the heroic order is so fucking cute oh my god

I need to know the lore of this one CUZ WHAT,,,, A DENSE RAIN OF ARROWS??????? AND THE NICKNAME IS GOT,,,, Lucky,,,, lucky chippy owjdbwond

Mirael please OQBSOWBDOWD my son maybe not academia but he's very brave and loyal, I'd kill for him.... Thinking of chippy walked behind hogan to copy how he walked is so cute to me labdowbdoeb that's his role model for real

[sludgekludge]

What are your thoughts on the sins individually, if you don't mind me asking?

i think viv is really really scared to have her blorbos embody really negative traits so i think half of the sins we've been properly introduced to do a dogshit job at actually embodying the sin they represent because of this lol. why do half of them not suck more as people. why don't they embody their sins, viv.

this ended up being kinda longer than i meant so im dumping it under a read more vv

bephelgor's only my icon because i'm also sleepytired and want to go to bed. her design is endearing to me, but still a mess, and if she's meant to be inspired by baphomet, it kinda sucks she's not more androgynous, imo, at least give her a little goat beard. not much to say because she was more of a decorative vase than a character. fascinating how we see the remaining women sins and neither of them speak!

leviathan. sorry this is a bit meaner than i usually try to be. i hate her design so bad. i don't know what people like about it. you can like it obviously. but god. i could go on a tangent here about it but i won't. her design makes me chew foil. super cool that they gave her more screentime though and instead of talking, she gets to sit there silently while being hit on by a man instead. fascinating how-

asmodeus bores me, all of the haha sex jokes in this show are so obnoxious so whenever they bring up that he's the Sex One my eyes roll outta my head. his design is…not at all my cup of tea but i won't say it's atrocious. the palette is unique, at least, by hellaverse standards. i liked him in his first appearance but he's since been declawed and now he's a weally nice guy actually who's all about consent and his wholesome chungus monogomous relationship, which is so fucking lame. could make a bigger post about him honestly. him and fizz are a couple of the saddest victims to 'super scared to write her blorbos being genuinely nasty' thing imo

mammon endeared me initially, but his mastermind appearance sucks. i like his design for the most part (centipede. why centipede. make him a funnelweb) and the fact he's clearly a silly guy on purpose. dresses like a jester by choice. he's evil, AND silly, that's fun. while he's a bit dense in his initial appearance, he's clever enough to know exactly how to manipulate fizz emotionally, and then in mastermind he's this big lumbering dumbass fat fuck who eats sloppily and he's gross and yucky and stupid ewww!! what a cool way to write your like, 1 recurring fat character vivzienne popsicle. lets make a joke specifically about how he has a big stomach. very cool his asexuality was clearly tacked on last-minute and he's clearly not written with that in mind, also kind of weird to canonise him as such when you're writing him to be this undesirable gross slob. i like him in theory, but he also says a lot about how viv views fat/asexual people and it's kind of soured me to him a little. shame. could go more into him, but i'll stop here.

we can't make beezlebub fat though, that's fatphobic! that's why she's thin! ik her design was a whole debacle and i don't care for it but i think it's blown a bit out of proportion. she's just another vivziepop design, i dont think she's uniquely terrible, maybe aside from being a bad rep of gluttony, but i saw more people talking about the bee thing than that. i do think it was kind of a huge mistake to make her so indistinguishable from hellhounds, biggest problem with her design imo. it's clear they wrote her to be deliberately really cool and likeable because she's Kesha, though. she's a typical nice popular party girl. i watched lps series with characters exactly like her when i was 12. sin of gluttony, don't overindulge though bro look after yourself :(

satan is inoffensive. i find him/his design to be kind of generic? but not overtly terrible. big dragon just feels a bit boring to me to who is apparently the penultimate sin, bar lucifer. admittedly, i kind of like the bit that he's got this little guy he listens too. big sucker for silly dynamics like that when they're played straight. wish i knew why the lil guy's robe kept changing colours, though. he's kinda wishy-washy and generic. don't get why any of the sins are intimidated by him when he gives stolas a slap on the wrist that stolas doesn't even have to grovel for, purely for being royalty lol. what's he gonna do to the sins if they step out of line? wag a finger at them? the whole 'he's lying about ruling before lucifer' thing was dumb and should've been caught before the episode went out.

lucifer i have enough to say about that it could probably also be its own post but to keep it short...ish, i think he's kind of inconsistent and weirdly written. they're really scared to write him as genuinely morally dubious and that's lame. they blended like 4 sexyman archetypes into 1 for him. he's so clearly y/n bait that it makes my eyes roll into the back of my skull…characters should get their y/n fiction naturally god dammit stop manufacturing sexymen in the lab!!! his design annoys me but i guess the whole 'pretty porcelain doll' thing makes sense and since he's a fallen angel, corrupted purity or something, wears symbols of himself (apples/snake) all over so Pride, like FINE, i get it, i still flick peanut shells at him though. thin ice. bitch

basically my favourite is like almost mammon i think but he's got weird uncomfortable connotations so i guess it's bephelgor because she doesn't exist enough to do anything to annoy me yet

[ghosterexia]

If you want to lose weight, you must change your routine.

Here r some of my fav tips thats helps me lose almost 60 Ibs!

DISCLAIMER: I am COMPLETELY pro recov (yes at any BMI), if you are under 18 or non edblrr, plz leave. Take care of urselfs, im not a health care professional and most importantly plz look after urself <3

1.) I never spend much time at home.

Spending my time at home means I’m going to be bored. I know it. I’ve lived on my own for almost two years in October, and through my entire wl process, I realized I get bored at home, even if I don’t have food at my house, I’ll DoorDash. Nothing will prevent me from eating unless I remove myself from the situation. So I’ll take myself out, get a coffee walk around see what’s new and just explore!

2. Eat what you want

The BIGGEST tip I have for consistency. Eat what you want, don’t eat shit ur not gonna like. Of course in moderation. Im lucky that I grew up with parents that taught me a healthy diet, but I LOVE coffee. I used to drink tons of sugary creamy coffee which is just all empty cals. I still drink coffee, i actually tend to have one iced latte every day. Sounds quite excessive but it’s what I know will keep me on my feet. It’s my treat to myself. Plus it’s completely customizable so I’ve found ways to keep my latte cals under 100 cals 😉

3.) BE FUCKING NICER TO YOURSELF!!

YES I fucking mean it. Be kinder to yourself. Having an 3D is already a living fucking nightmare the last thing you need is negative reinforcement. Let’s say you just binged. Sure, you can sprint on the treadmill, or even pxrg3, but you are only going to repeat that cycle. Our bodies are intelligent. Not everything is a mental reaction if that makes sense. If you are b1ng1ng it’s because you need to supplement urself with those nutrients and fuel that ur body is lacking. And that’s okay, plus one or two binges a week (of course within a reasonable amount) can help aid ur metabolism. My biggest tip from bouncing back from a b1ng3 r3str1ct cycle is eating at maintenance and eating nutrient dense foods!

4.) Experiment with your diet

No, this has nothing to do with cals. Like I previously mentioned, I grew up in a household where my parents were cooking healthy real meals. But at some point, I lost a lot of that connection and I had to reteach myself what I liked. With that being said, retry things you used to like, try new foods, seriously the more wider ur palette is the more options you’ll have when it comes down to 3ating.

5. Actually eat better

This is so much easier said than done and I understand that. But seriously eat better. If you are what many call a “junkorexic” sure, you are still eating in a deficit and you are still going to lose weight but like I mentioned before our bodies are so much smarter then we think. Just because u can eat a bag of chips and ramen for dinner and stay under 800 cals a day doesn’t mean your gonna make true progress. Because your only source of energy is coming from empty calories, you aren’t actually getting the nutrients you need. This is going to lead you to a variety of physical symptoms and most importantly of all you are least likely to stick to that di3t cuz ur gonna feel fucking miserable. A 300 cal bag of chips isn’t gonna make you feel full but maybe 300 cals worth of chicken and vegetables might!! You are also just overall more likely to binge because 1 these foods r made to be addictive and 2 ur not actually satisfied and u aren’t ACTUALLY fueling ur body with the correct nutrients.

6. SET URSELF UP 4 SUCCESS

It’s a very broad phrase, but what I mean is if u do ur own grocery shopping and ur buying urself chips, ice cream, sodas (even diet sodas), if you don’t have the right amount of self discipline or you know you lack self control, you r likely to binge. So try swapping out for lower calorie but similar snacks, maybe less snacks that you’ll typically eat and save those cals for meals. Or my favorite, make ur own snacks at home!! ^_^ also LEARN HOW TO FUCKING COOK!! SERIOUSLY the weight will just fall off if u know what ur putting in ur meals and u know what ur consuming!!!

That’s pretty much all I got for now but let me know if there’s other tips you’d like to hear! Please take care of yourself, we are all suffering together, and ur weight is not a determination of how serious ur 3D is. <3

[starsofang]

You and your cliffhangers. I cant. I feel like it’s an adrenaline rush for you to just hate us and see us scream over them. This is why hatred it developing angie😒😒😒😁

OKAY, FIRST HELLO. I know i’ve said it like three times now, but I’m glad you’re safe from the storm. Florida is getting one after the other so just incase another comes, stay safe😭 You putting out a chapter as soon as you got back was completely unexpected and I blame my phone for not getting me a notification.

No Ghost this chapter :( I feel like if he knew what Dove was seeing he’d be beyond angry. At himself, at Graves. I can even see him being a bit annoyed at the others. Maybe for bringing her onto the ship? I dont know😭 My notes doc is getting longer and longer as the days pass on.

Gaz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABY😭🙏😭🙏 I feel so bad and I’m blaming you for it. HOW DARE YOY LEAVE HIM HANGING. IM LITERALLY NEVER FORGIVING YOU. He just wants to know what the fuck is happening between them and dove is just: :/ and she’s beyond confused about everything. Unreliable narrator #1

I still, of course, love your characterization of Soap. I think I’ve said it before, probably the first few chapters. He’s beyondddd smart if a little dense. “I’m glad Ghost has some like you.” and his face is just like: 😄🤨😄 So. Smart might be too nice of a word.

And of course, how could I forget John fucking Price. It’s the daddy issues probably but he’s just so jejehsoskdiosbeid. “What the fuck is she doing.” Imagining him growling that out in concern and anger is doing things to me. But I have to agree with the other ask! I dont know who said it but I loveeeeeeeeeee your dialogue. It can be really hard to convey emotions through writing but somehow you’re able to do it.

Also, John saying he’d prefer if she stayed with him… I see you. He can’t hide from me.

Other ask had the dresses right. Like almost exactly how I pictured it but this one is also right. I think it’s be a bit more grey to be honest, and the sleeves might be longer. But it’s like a classy but modest dress.

I feel like they’d go feral. They ARE pirates to be fair, and pirates definitely aren’t known to not be brutes. Though, they might have a bit more decorum. Barely. But still..

ANY WAYS this was a very long ask and to keep myself from annoying you and being demoted from your favorite reader (don’t you dare tell me i’m wrong) i’m going to end this here :) As always, I love you and you’re writing. MWAH 😙

u don’t hate me, i know you’d miss me if i was still gone from the hurricane 🥱

ghost will be in it next, it was hard to fit him in bc hes going thru it rn 😔 now that graves bitch ass is back ghost will definitely be more present and oooo i can’t wait to see it

im #1 gaz lover but making him suffer a little bit rn is giving me adrenaline and i cant stop doing it, its lowkey like a drug and im getting my fix. he wants to kiss us sooooo bad haha smash.

soap can do no wrong i fear, he’s kind of like my dog in this fic or like a pet bc hes just kind of there being silly while also having his moments of redemption and idk i just love him so much i cant help it. also add me imagining him in wet clothes and a wet mullet in that one scene near the end and I was suddenly the dog

john can also do no wrong idc how many haters he has, i will die on that hill. how can u see his banter and his way of teasing and not think he’s fine. r u serious. ALSO THE GROWL MY GOOOOD I WAS TWEAKING WHEN I WROTE IT CUZ ITS ALL I COULD SEE IN MY HEAD AND I GENUINELY STARTING TO TWITCH

that dress is a yes 😫 i’m not up in here imagining glamor, hello this is 1800s pirates and lowkey we’re a lil dirty and stinky, IN MY MIND I WANT MODEST BORING DRESSES BC READER IS NOT A MODEL she’s literally a prisoner (ex ig) on a ship and things get nasty, plus the practicality??? on a ship??? I AGREE but like i said im a black dress girly thru and thru because thats all i wear

I LOVE YOU MWAH