#im so fucki g mad rn

[faterunes]

i know im autistic bc im genuinely mad over bgw renovating loch ness monster. @ whoeverr made this decision fuck you i hope you get hit by a train. do yiu realize just how much history this coaster holds. die a million deaths

[maletomboy]

my fail lung hurts so fucki g bad rn if its actually over for me im gonna be so mad like i never got to go to crater lake

[ksjknj]

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[suyunsgf]

And then when I said because I don't want to drive out all she said was "fine" like just say you're mad at me and think I'm being stupid

My mom asking me why I'm going to wait until my dad can drive me out to the campground when u could drive myself out rn like I haven't established that it makes me super anxious to drive in general let alone the shitty thin dirt road to get there

[eye-in-the-wall]

like i rlly need to move out but Im way too dependent on my mom and im trying to change but its hard even wanting to take care of myself. like idk how to care and living in this shitty 2 room apartment, sharing a bed with my mom and living with my shitt older brothers is most certainly not helping my mental health. not to mention im still not over that time my brother fucking pushed me into the counter and started yelling at me calling me a stupid dumb fucking bitch, and some other swears and shit he was yelling at, and then just. continued gaming after and then I continued making the fucking casserole I was mak8ng while fucking sobbing and god it still makes me ANGRY even though it was like what 2years ago? and I wasn't in any physical pain he didn't push me hard enough to leave a bruise or anything and sometimes I feel stupid for this still bothering me cause he never did anything like that again but even thinking about it rn is making me angry and want to cry like FUCK ITS JUST SO FUCKI G STUPID AHAHAHSH

like hahahaha he helps pay bills and rent and so mom could never properly get angry at him for that fuck she even gets mad at me for the shit he says to her cause she can't bet mad at him haha <3 its just so stupid! its so stupid cause they aren't bad people they just fucking suck a lot and have so much trauma that they themselves have not dealt with and I have to fucking suffer the consequences!

like I dont feel like im allowed to be bothered cause my mom can be really caring and sweet and loving but I don't know, sometimes its not enough. like I love her but I cannot live with her 

[mycomori]

i don’t want to feel like this i can barely sort my thought for this stupid fucking life map i keep questioning myself because of weird perfectionism and i’m so overwhelmed and alone i wish i wasn’t so alone with this but i guess it’s good no one else is involved i’m really so dizzy and sick rn my heart is beating so fast i need to get through this life map this is the fucking easy part what is wrong with me what the fuck what the fucking fuck i’m so stressed for no reason why why why why why is this happening why am i doing this to myself what the fuck am i blocking away why does it make em sos cared i cabt really accurately describe my childhood i can’t help but get lost in details i just wnat to finish this life map and then i’ll basically be diving into the worst shit which is a letter to each of my parents about how i really feel which is gonna be a fucki g lot and then of course describing how my trauma effected me :) like these three assignments are all more exhausting than the next. and then i have to make sure to get fucking blood taken soon too. i wish this wasn’t happening. i should put on earphones and just write that’s the best way to block out slamming doors even tho there isn’t anger behind them anymore they still make me flinch it’s so STUPID i shouldn’t be traumatized over this i shouldn’t i shouldn’t i can’t be i hate it doing this makes me think about that and i don’t want to i don’t want to i don’t fucking want to us not even be dbut i don’t trust myself anymore i’m so overwhelmed with how scared and alone o am right now and i don’t know what to do i wish this wasn’t happening i wish i could just be normal i’m so angry at myself for getting so fucked up over nothing im so fucking mad at myself why am i so traumatized why why why you stupid bich why why why why why why why i don’t know how to describe it i can’t write it out or organize it they don’t understand what they’re asking of me with these assignments i know i need to do them i want to but i’m so stuck i keep fucking trying but i keep getting stuck and i hate it o fucking hate it so fucking much i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it