#im so done with this shit and don't get me started on what the writers are doing to jemma or even may and arghhh

[hoshigray]

I love your work so much and it makes me feel a certain way <33 BUTT im here to request something that I've been looking for 🤞🏽

Toji x Fan-Fiction-Writer ! Reader? I'll get on my knees if required 🫶🏽

𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐜(𝐤)𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!! | tōji fushiguro

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: You know, some things are just not meant to be shared, such as fanfiction writing. And how the hell did your boyfriend, of all people, come to be the one to question you about your hobbies? You tell me, you dirty little writer…

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem fanfic writer! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - the reader is mid/late 20s; Toji's in his mid-30s - humor - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - clitoral play (licking, sucking and swiping) - deep impact position - degradation (slut, whore) - use of "Daddy" title - praise + humiliation - spitting - cervix fucking - little bit of rough sex - unprotected sex (psa: wrap the willy; don't be silly) - pet names (baby, cupcake, good girl, mama, princess, sweetheart, sweetie) - aftercare; taking a bath together - usage of a phone; erotic literature/writing - Toji teasing you to no end, the bastard, lol - reader wears glasses cuz why not, hehe - mention of drool/spit.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5k (bless up)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: bro. this idea cooked so bad, i just HAD to make a fic for it, lmao!! apologies for doing this months late, hope I did the prompt justice, and ty for loving my works~☆

“Nooo, stop, Toji, give it back!”

“Hold on, baby, hold on…Phew, who knew ya liked wrtin’ dirty shit like this? The fuck is ‘pet play—’”

“Oh my God, stop it!” 

This had to be, undoubtedly, the worst day of your life.

If there’s one thing every human being on Earth has in common, it’s their love for the weekends. They’re amazing — have two whole days to retreat and relinquish the turmoil and stress after five days straight. They’re the days when you can choose whichever activity you want to enjoy your leisure. 

Some people catch up on sleep, others watch a show or try to cook up a new dish, and some go outside and hang out with friends. But then there are those weekdays where it’s satisfying enough to spend your day inside the comfort of your home, delighting in a hobby. 

The hobby you chose to indulge in this weekend was writing. And right at this moment, you regret it being the activity you selected.

Why? For one, it wasn’t just any type of writing, like journalling or poetry. No, no; if it were, things would be easier for you to deal with now. Nope, it was fan fiction writing. The type of writing you’ve known since middle school and decided to jump in and try for about a year. What started as a curiosity turned out to be a hobby that took up your infatuation to the maximum level: writing pieces every night, taking up requests from your following over six thousand followers, and serving as an outlet to project your fantasies onto the Internet. 

What type of fantasies, you might ask? The type you read in a room by yourself or in the corner away from prying eyes, under a blanket with your phone exhibiting the dark secrets that corrupt your mind, or the type that only could be accepted on the Internet and not from the judgmental looks of those in the real world.

But, most certainly, not the type of fantasies you wanted your boyfriend to see!

“Toji, please, give my computer back!”

“Nah, hold on; I wanna see this…Oh, what a title; ‘Fuck Me, Rail Me, Use Me, Daddy—‘“

“TOJI, STOP!”

Perhaps writing fan fiction with your boyfriend occupying your apartment wasn’t the best idea. But you wanted to get a draft don’t by the end of this weekend, and you were almost done with it. You were typing up a storm in your bedroom, sitting at your desk while your man, Toji Fushiguro, was doing at-home exercises in your living room. 

And you could’ve sworn you had locked your computer before going to the bathroom. All you know is that after flushing and washing your hands, you opened your bedroom door to a horrifying sight: Toji, sweaty from his routine in his sweats and wife beater, holding up your laptop that showed the exact draft that you were working on! No, no, NO! You almost tripped dashing to take the device, but the older man was too quick and effortlessly dodged your attempts while still reading the material. And now you know why you are hopping around your room trying to catch the man and stop him from reading more of your stuff. 

Spoiler alert: your efforts were beyond futile, huffing and puffing in complete defeat on your bed. Your boyfriend was sitting beside you, still reading aloud while scrolling through your drafts, to your dismay. Your ears and cheeks harbored an unbearable heat that you could cry at any second, and you covered your face in case it were to happen. God, please kill me now! 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, how many of these shits have you written?” Toji inquires, his forest green eyes scanning every draft as if the list were endless. “How long have you been doin’ this?”

“For…a while.” You can barely muster the confidence to utter an adequate response. How could I have forgotten to lock my damn computer?!

“How long’s a while?”

“Uhhh, a…a year?”

The silence was pinching your skin enough, but you don’t know if you preferred it over the next thing he said. “Wow, who would’ve thought my sweet angel was a dirty lil’ thing writing filth like this?” Oh, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die. You can practically sense the smirk on his stupid, handsome face, pulling the scar off his lip! And it hurts your being that he laughs at you grabbing a pillow to scream into oblivion. “What a horny minx.”

You removed the pillow to tell him off. “It’s not all my fault! Most of those aren’t even my ideas; some of my followers asked me to write—“

“Followers?” God, would it have killed you to shut up? “So you got people readin’ your stuff?”

Downcast eyes to avoid his surveying ones, “W–Well, yes…People like how I write, so I…..Write whatever they ask me.”

“Oh, wow,” raven eyebrows lift while looking at the screen, flipping through the notes of your drafts to your blog with your completed works. “So over a hundred freaks like how freaky you write.”

“Hey, d–don’t say it like that!”

“Oh really?” You didn’t like how he said that, nor when he pulled up one of your drafts to read. “… ’You spread your legs on instinct as she sucks on your chest, and the woman takes the initiative by sliding a hand down to your—‘“

“Stop, stop, STOP!” You sit upright and try again to take the computer away from him, but Toji swiftly moves to the bedroom floor. Fuck! It was hopeless, so you groan in exasperation. “Quit it, Toji; you had your fun, so give it back!”

He didn’t think so; finding something new about you made him curious to no bounds. And for it to be a bit of a suggestive side of you? Oh, how ashamed you were of him finding this out tickled him. “Damn, there’s so much on here…Have you ever written ‘bout shit we’ve done?”

You couldn’t believe he asked you that question — you couldn’t believe you were in this situation at all! Are you serious ”—ly asking me that?!?”

“I’m not hearin’ a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” Now, this is just diving into a more profound level of embarrassment than you could handle. “Did’ya?”

“……………yes.”

“Wait, fr’ real?! Which ones?”

“I’m not telling you! Just give me my laptop—“

“Hell nah,” his elbow is strong enough to keep you at bay—how pathetic on your part being treated like a kid. “I’m curious to see what my lil’ sweetheart is tellin’ strangers ‘bout how we do our business—“

“I’m not telling them anything!!” You retort. “I-I just use our experience as a means of…references when I’m writing,” thumbs find themselves fidgeting together. “It…It helps when I don’t know how to describe a feeling, or….what it’s like during certain…..positions.” Was the room getting stuffy, or were you shrinking under the growing pressure of every word coming out of your mouth? Who knows. 

“Is there stuff y’ve written before that you’d like fr’ us to try?” Oh, for fuck’s sake, this was too much, bringing your –his– hoodie up to shield you from this predicament. And it only worsens when he stares your way, having you close up the hoodie by the drawstrings and collapse to his shoulder. Toji chuckles at your routing self, wrapping an arm around you. “Can’t even be honest fr’ a second.”

“Toji, pleaseeee,” whining doesn’t help, the older man moving the laptop out of your lazy attempt to retrieve it. “Give it baaack…!”

“Nnm, nnm, don’t wanna,” he places the device away to the ground and takes your hand with his. “Now I gotta read what weird shit you’ve been keepin’ ‘way from me.”

You shake your head frantically. “Please don’t! Don’t you think you’ve tormented me enough today?”

“Now, why would I ever get tired of fucking with ya?” The smirk on his face is still present after you open the hoodie to sneak a glare. “Shoulda thought ‘bout that and locked y’r laptop screen.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole…” his laugh at your words only proves your point, and you bury your face in his chest. This entire thing was so outrageous. How in the world were you this dumb enough not to double-check to make sure your computer was locked from prying eyes? What an amateurish move! Not even your closest friends know that you write fanfiction, so to have your boyfriend be the one to not only find out but bombard you with questions about your secret hobby is nothing short of humiliating. It can’t get any worse than this…

…Or so you thought.

“Hey,” you perk up to look at Toji. “You said ya got followers askin’ ya what they want you to write, right?” You nod meekly, twirling your thumbs with the bottom of your shirt. “Show me some.”

Appalled, you gawk, “Wh–why would I—”

“I know you have favorites from the hundreds I’ve been looking at for the past five minutes. So, are ya gonna show ‘em to me, or am I gonna have to read every single one to find out?”He didn’t show interest in returning the laptop to you even after asking the question. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, baby; I bet ya can look it up on y’r phone or somethin’.”

Your pout deepens in defeat as you begrudgingly stuff a hand inside the pocket of your leggings to pull out your phone to click on an app. Your thumb clicks and scrolls for a few seconds before you peer to him and say, “…I do have some favorites.” 

Jesus, it hurt to admit that to someone, especially with your him of all people, who is without a doubt getting an absolute kick out of this, the fucking bastard! This was beyond embarrassing; nothing could ever top this moment. Indeed, there is nothing else he could have done that could have made this predicament any worse than it already is. At least that’s what you tell yourself to cope because Toji’s grin on his face says otherwise. And what he says afterward makes your blood shift to ice.

“Why don’t ya read ‘em to me.”

Yup, you were killing yourself tonight.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Go on; read that short one fr’ me.”

“Ahh—…Hahhh, ‘Sitting here and thinking…about your faves…Mmmm.”

For some reason, this felt so. Fucking. Wrong!

You already knew it was a bad idea for you to read your works to your boyfriend at his request. However, to be fulfilling said wish in this manner? The mortification had your ears ringing a thousandfold. 

How would you have foreseen this yourself, face stuffed to the pillow with your phone held up by your right hand with your legs spread up and your bottom propped up? Who the hell reads like this?! And on top of that, your boyfriend is alongside you, his body behind you. The inability to see what he’s doing arises uneasiness in the soul, quivers sneaking up as you feel the rough pads of his fingertips greet the skin of your ass after sneaking inside the oversized hoodie. 

Breath hitches at the slide of your panties, coming down for his hands to grope the flesh wholly. “To..ji…” his name leaves in shakes. 

“C’mon, baby,” you swallow thickly at the cupping of your chasm. Toji chuckles at the twitch felt on his palm, “Read it properly, yeah? Word for word.”

Oh, fuck, your brows trench together. “T…’Thinking about your faves pleasing you from behind. He knows he has to tease you a bit—Tmmm,” his lightly hits your butt. “‘B-By massaging your ass with his strong hands,” he does so, kneading your ass skillfully that has you involuntarily purring to his touch. “…’Keeping you still and relaxed so he can later feel you with his fingers and—“ his forefinger and middle slowly come from your clit to the entrance, biting your lips. “Nhhmm, hahhh.”

“Go on,” Toji scolds, the middle digit sliding up and down with a faint push. Your back quakes to the touch, fingers gripping the pillow. “What else is y’r fav doing?”

You inhale. “Mmmm…’and circle one of them around to warm you up—‘“ spit gulped down again when Toji’s digit did the exact thing as told. “‘And then, when he knows you’re ready for him, he sneaks them insi—‘ Aaaiiii!” His middle finger is shoved into your vagina, and your toes instantly curl before he pushes the rest ever so slowly.  “Oh! Ohhh, fuck…’He…then comes to your shoulder and says to your ear to make you tingle…”

“…’Stay still, sweetie,’” woah. You were not expecting that; you were too focused on trying to read your words, and Toji bending to your ear to read his part wasn’t noticed at all. You only hope he didn’t catch the clasp of your vaginal walls around his finger (he most definitely did), hoping the soft chortle meant nothing. “‘Gonna let me make y’ feel good, yeah?’” Jesus Christ, his gruff voice relayed this so intimately to your eardrums that your heart was beating too hard.

Toji’s finger goes faster, nearly having you almost drop your phone. Your face smooshes to the pillow from the scrape of his fingertip, biting on the pillowcase as he puts in the other finger. He whispers to your ear to keep going; unbelievable…So you lift your head and try. “J-J…’Just thinking about how easy he could make you cum—Mmmph! Wi-With his fingersss…scratching and rubbing your insides so precisely until you’re practically begging to mess his hand up’…”

“Oh, fr’ real?” The perk of his tone makes you anxious. “Well, don’ mind if I do.”

The pace of his ring and middle finger increase, and you gasp sharply. The onslaught of rubs to your inner channel is enough to have your lower half writhe despite Toji keeping your legs grounded with his single one. Oh, fucking Christ, your glasses up to your smooshed cheeks the more you try to conceal your cries, proven to be trivial as the seconds go by. 

“Aww, whaddaya think y’re doin’?” He coos with a kiss to your nape; you nearly shut down. His free hand takes your phone, “Tryin’ to hide that cute voice of y’rs from me? Fuck that,” he then removes his digits from your chasm as you yelp and makes you flip to your back. Oh, fuck no! Your hands go to cover your face—nope, Toji is quick to move them away. “Lemme see you, mama…Now, let’s see what else you should read fr’ me.” He swipes your phone screen, “This too wordy, this long as fuck—goddamn, baby; you writin’ whole ass novels or somethin’?”

“Shut up,” you reply as your legs move, and Toji’s left hand removes your undies. 

“Ah, this one!” He hands you back your cellular device. Your eyes catch the first sentence, and your face morphs into dread before staring back at him to meet his grin. “Go ‘head,” he says cooly, spreading your legs by the knees.

“…’Picture this: your favorite coming to your room and seeing you on your bed and striding to you to taste you,” you inhale deeply at the blow of air on your wet southern folds. “‘He crawls up to you while you’re busy scrolling on the phone, busying himself with placing kisses to your stomach and down to your undies. He’ll then take them off and spread your legs for him, greeting your privates with his ton’—Ghhh…!” Toji licks your slit leisurely; you gulp at the muscle perching between the lips of your labia. “Hahhh, shit…’The smell and taste of you are so inviting he can barely keep it together, virtually inching to stuff his face with your pussy. He kisses it, lips petting your clit,’” he does so, and you chew your bottom lip. “‘Then his tongue goes excruciatingly slow to e-explore your folds,” your exhale is shaky as Toji’s tongue laps and swirls; fuck, I can’t do this…

The older man, on the other hand, flips a switch and goes to town. You knew this was a bad idea; if there’s one thing Toji loved doing more than fucking your cunt, it’s eating it out. He pushes your legs up by the knees for easier access, the angle perfect for him to propel his mouth onto your entrance. You shriek, his nose frequently grinding the hood of your cunt as his scarred lips and tongue suck and lick you feverishly.

“—Tahhh! Ohhhshit, no…!” You cry, throwing your head back to the pillow. “Ahhnn, Tojiii, stop…not too fast—Oooh!”

He spits, mixing his saliva with your slick as he laves. “Mmmph, shit, taste ’o good,” Toji pushes his face further as he sucks on your clit, and you nearly choke on your sob. “Yeah, yeah, let ‘em out; scream like a real whore.” You jerk, but his hands firmly keep you down. “Keep goin’, cupcake, finish y’r reading.”

“Khhh, God, I can’t,” you gulp when emerald eyes peer toward you. “…’Before long, he’s too overwhelmed by you that he can’t take it anymore, stuffing his face between your legs and having you cry out his name in prayers—your phone is no longer a priority.’” Jesus, you can hear his grunts along with the lascivious sounds coming from below; he’s so fucking turned on. “‘Now he has your attention, playing with your…pussy like a toy just to hear you squeak.”  

“Fuck yeah,” he groans as he sticks his fore and middle digits into you. Fingers go to and fro frantically, and your free hand grabs his raven hair. “Christ, y’ sound so fuckin’ hot. More, gimme more,” a long and harsh kiss to your clit makes you want to arch so bad. “Good girl, good fuckin’ girl…”

You hiss at the graze of your vagina; keeping your eyes open is hard to do. Lips go agape, and your noises fly out with no restraint. Your legs tremble, impending in a wish to close from the curl of Toji’s fingers. Your senses become too keen, your nerves heightening with every massage of your walls, lick and slurp of your slick and clit. 

“Ohooo, nhhmm, fuck, Tojiiii,” another suck to your clit has you grip the sheets. “Stooop, please; I’m gonna cumm…!” 

However, your boyfriend has another idea in his head. “Oh no, you don’t, princess,” his fingers leave you hurriedly with a squeal. He yanks for your phone once more to find yet another piece of yours for you to read, giving you so little time to recuperate. Until he scoffs with a smirk, “Ohh, read this one aloud next.” 

You take the device returned to you cautiously, scanning the first few words that catch your eye. Curiosity snaps to apprehension, “W-wait, no, please!” Begging won’t work, but it doesn’t hurt to try. “Please, Toji, look for some—“

“Aht, aht,” the click of the tongue shuts you. “C’mon, sweetheart, that ain’t what y’re callin’ y’r fav right now.” He squeezes your thigh, “What’s my name?”

“Toji, pleas—“

“Mm, mm,” he pinches you, a warning. “Try again.”

Excitement Nervousness flicker through your soul, breathing tardily as you muster to answer. “Sorry…Daddy.” The title burnt your tongue when it left your mouth, and the smile lifted Toji’s scar even more. 

“Good,” he praises. “Now read.”

“…One of my followers asked about writing a post about deep impact, so it’s—“

“Deep impact?” He questions while spreading your legs. “The hell’s that?” 

“I-It’s a, uhh,” you push up your glasses. “A position where you…kinda, like, sit on one of my legs and lift the other to your shoulder.”

Black eyebrows rise. “Ohhh, somethin’ like this, huh?” Sturdy hands find your ankle and lift your leg to his shoulder, and Toji then moves to have your other leg in between his. Your lips flatten when the groin of his pants—aka, the pitched tent–touches your hole. He whistles, “Oh, now I got a new favorite to add fr’ later.” His words aren’t meant to jest, so you frown as he snickers. “Alright, what did you write for this?”

You lick your lips; why? Toji uses his free hand to bring his sweats down, not surprised by the lack of underwear as his erection springs out. His cock is standing and ready for you, the precum oozing out alluring your eyes and your lip bitten by excited teeth. Of course, your vagina is clenching to a void—anticipation is a hell of a drug affecting your entire figure. 

“Don’t get too distracted, mama,” he caught you eyeing him, lifting the hem of his wife’s beater to bite down on. Your ears and cheeks scorched at the sight of his abs and torso. “Read those words.”

Your gaze flickers to your phone while Toji lines his dick to your entrance, a gulp at the kiss of his glans and your inner labia. “…’Daddy has you propped in a deep impact, a position catered to mutual pleasure and closeness. He taps you with the tip to have you excited, then slowly pushes himself into your—Mmfff!…y-your warmth,” reminding yourself to maintain a steady breath; Toji pushes his cockhead into your slick as you’re distracted. A few seconds fly by, and he slips right in; a gasp exiting your puffy lips indicates so. “‘H–He gently shoves every inch and stretches you out,’” his girth is lethal, your eyes rolling up the further his tip goes, scrapping your texture and your opening suiting for his length. “‘A-And, it feels so good to have him making you full and good’—Hoohh?!?”

That’s it, that’s what you were anxious about—you felt the jab of his tip on your cervix. You freeze instantly, too shocked to breathe as the hit was spontaneous. Your body locks down for a quick second to process what happened.

Toji notices your tightened grip and hisses, “Fffuuckin, shit…! So tight,” his hips go sluggish, and you feel his veins and shaft brush nicely with your insides. You sneak a glance at his flashed abdomen; the flex of his abs as he pushes his pelvis in waves is a sight to see–enough to put you in a trance. 

You continue. “‘His hip work is pleasuring, having you wail and cry out f-for more…the sensation of Daddy’s dick venturing inside and hitting your sweet spots is enough to make your toes curl—Nhhaaa…”

He can sense you gripping on him more; fuck, it feels so good. His thrusts go a little faster, forming a minimal medium. You exhale through your nostrils at the change of pace, and grazes against your walls become periodic and long-lasting the deeper he goes.

 “Daaah, ahhh, f-fuuck,” you whimper aloud. “Tojiii, y’ feel so g—Nnnmm!?!“ You nearly swallow your tongue from the sudden pound of him, the rub of your G-spot too abrupt to predict. 

“Who?” God, you know he’s getting a good kick out of this, the fucker. He pushes his cock to the hilt, and it takes everything in your power not to babble from the overwhelming intensity. 

“Daddy, daddyyy, don’t…!” Correcting yourself as his fingers dance around your unattended clit. “I’m sorry, you just feel so good..”

That’s more like it. “Good girl,” he bends closer, his knees spreading further apart. He pushes the leg on his shoulder so that the angle is plausible for him to rut harder. You shriek and squirm to his enjoyment, “Keep readin’.”

“‘Y-…You’re cries become more shameful the harder and faster he goes,” Toji stimulates for a harsher pound; another hit to your cervix has you winded. Despite your gasping for air, he doesn’t relent, and you jerk to undulate to another poke. “Sh-shiiit, Jesusss…! ‘He pistons so hard, so deep, it’s difficult even to think straight when all you can think is—‘“ a choked sob from a slow pull before a devious snap of the hips. “A-All you c–an think…Ahahh!” Another nudge to your G-spot; this is so hellish!

The culprit scoffs softly. “Think ‘bout what, baby?” He swipes and pinches your clit to have you jolt and whine. “Tell Daddy the rest.” 

Fuck, I can’t take it anymore! The phone slips your hand, barely missing your head. “Daddyyy, I can’t!”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Another pinch to the bud pairs with a poke to your delicate womb. Oh, he’s such a dick! “Don’t wanna read fr’ me?” He chuckles aloud at you shaking your head ‘no’. “Why’s that?”

“C-Cuz, if you keep going, I’ll,” a head thrown back at another nip on your clitoris. “Ahh, I-I’ll…!” Shit, you can feel it, the climb rocking your bones to entail your soon climax. 

“What? Ya wanna cum on Daddy’s dick instead of readin’ like a sweetheart,” don’t believe the words; his faux disappointment doesn’t match the merciless thrusts and the devilish grin. “Wanna act like a whole slut and cum on me?”

“Yesss, yes, pleasee!!” You don’t care anymore; you want to let it out. “Please, Daddyyy, I wanna cummm!!”

“Heh, what a nasty girl you are—Nnnmm! Fuck, just milkin’ me dry, beggin’ fr’ it, huh?” The same fingers he used to play with your clit come to your lips to shove inside, forcing you to taste yourself. “Go ‘head, mama; let y’rself go, be the slut you really are…Hahhh, shit, c’mere,” he grabs for both your wrists with his free hand after taking off your glasses and propels you towards him at the same time as he pounds. Holy fuck, this position was getting rougher, pulling you in and hitting your cervix with accurate hits that you’re whining and twitching. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck! It’s too much, it’s all too much to bear, so it’s no wonder you climax in seconds.

You cry with the breach of your crescendo, your inner muscles contracting around the cock, hitting your womb. Your nerves are now peaked as the air is sensitive to your skin, and you feel so out of breath, everything happening all at once that you can’t keep up as you thank Toji in babbled prayers, still sucking on his fingers as your vagina flutters and coats him of your essence.

“Good job, cupcake,” he comes closer and removes his digits. “Can’t beat the real thing, right?” He cups and massages your cheeks before spitting into your mouth. 

You don’t even flinch, too fucked out to even care, just moaning to his lips as he brings you in for a passionate kiss as his hips keep going until he’s done and satisfied…

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Ughhh, I can’t believe I just did that…”

“Pfft quit whinin’. Don’t act like ya didn’t enjoy it.”

“I hate you so fucking much, you know that?”

“Whatever y’ say, Ms. Novelist.” You grumble at the name before he brings the washcloth to wipe down your neck.  

You and Toji were now in the bathroom, your nude bodies squished together, with the warm water cleansing you both. Hair and skin damp, your back meshed to his front as you sit between his legs. The soft yellow lighting basks the bathroom with a warm glow as you two bathe in relaxation, a needed state after the excitement prior. 

You snatch the washcloth before Toji wipes your face clean off. “Why did you have to be so nosy, looking at my laptop for what?” You wipe his arm that rests on the rim of the tub. 

He rolls his eyes, knowing he’s in for a lecture. “Well, if ya didn’t want me to see, shoulda locked the shit.”

“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re nosy as hell! Could’ve just looked somewhere else or left the room!”

“Hmph, well, when you see the words ‘Down and Dirty’ all bolded and big and see another tab with a pic of a rimjob, who wouldn’t stop—“

“Okay, okay!” It would be best if you threw the cloth at him for chortling; such an indecorous personality for someone supposedly older than you. “You’re insufferable.”

“Right back at you,” he whispers to your ear and kisses your cheek. You sigh softly from his lips, resting your head on his shoulder while he pecks your chin. The hand in the water finds your thigh to grope and massage, and you moan at the touch and unwind.

Tranquility fills the cozy space between you two as the silence settles in, the humid air comforting to your nose and eyes, and the drip of the faucet plucking into the tub water is a soothing sound to cajole you into a dormant plane. 

However, even when relaxing, it doesn’t stop the bothersome feeling of asking Toji something. And where better than with you in his secure embrace? “Toji,” his name has him open an eye to look your way. “You don’t think I’m…weird, don’t you?”

He raises a brow. “Explain.”

“Like, don’t you find it weird that me, your partner, indulges in hobbies that are…you know, like that,” now your eyes trail away from his gaze. “Writing about fictional fantasies and such, looking up erotic material and stuff…”

A few seconds fly as he scoffs. “Baby, I’ve been lookin’ at porn way before I met you—“

“Th–That’s not what I meant??”

“Besides, it’s nothing more than just writin’ shit that doesn’t exist. Hmm, if anything, now I know y’re just as big of a pervert as I am.”

Anxiousness transitions to peeve. “You are so—“

“Do you like what you do?” 

The question takes you aback; the immediate serious tone switch wasn’t expected. “…I..yeah.”

“Are ya hurtin’ anyone?”

“No…at least I don’t want to.”

“Are ya hurtin’ y’reself?” You see what he’s doing, the glint shining from his viridian orb.

“No. I…like this hobby.”

Finally, a small smile contorts that scar of his. “Then I don’t mind it. It’s what ya like to do, so do whatever, sweetie.” He comes to kiss your nose and rest his forehead with yours. “I like ya bein’ a lil’ weird anyway.”

“Jackass…” And there you go, falling in love with him again. You cup his cheek, kiss the other, and repose onto his shoulder with a blissful sigh. 

“Now,” you blink back to him. “Can’t lie, think you gotta start callin’ me ‘Daddy’ from now on,” like a scratched record, your heart stops, especially with his mischievous smirk. “Where can I read the rest of y’r stuff at?”

“That’s it,” you ignore his annoying bark of laughter as you try to squirm out of his hold. “Let me out of here, get me out of this fucking tub.”

“Haha, hey, quit it; y’re spillin’ the water!”

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by rororogi morgera + dividers by @/cafekitsune + @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.

[jockwrites]

LUST - p.b

hi this is chapter two lol

warnings: angst, asshole paige

part: 2

a/n: this is pretty short lol. also the songs i put are basically what the chapters are based off of! sorry if that wasn’t clear, it’s basically some “playlist” thing i see other writers do!! 🙂‍↕️ also im basically putting you guys on..

its been 6 days since you’ve broken up with your boyfriend.

you and paige have been hanging out every day since, and you can say these have been the best days since you two have met.

right now, she’s at practice. that means you’re all by yourself.

you decide you wanna go down to the lobby, maybe grab a few snacks.

you check your phone before you leave, no calls or texts. that’s boring, and it sucks.

anyway

you put on your slippers and head out. as you’re walking you see paige’s teammate, ayanna.

“hey, ayanna. don’t you guys have practice?” you ask.

“huh? practice is tommorow” she says, laughing.

but you found nothing about that sentence funny. at all.

“well.. paige told me you guys have practice today?” you say confused.

“well blondie is lying. why she tell you that?”

“i don’t know. she said she had to leave for practice around like 1 earlier and i haven’t heard from her since.” you say, annoyed.

“whattt? girl its 9pm. no practice lasts that long regardless.. how vulnerable are you?” she says, giggling.

“ok shut up. can u text her? ask where she is? pleaseee?” you ask with puppy dog eyes.

“alright alright. gimme a minute,” she pulls out her phone, going to text paige.

as she texts her, you see her expression change. she’s looking weird.

“what is it? where is she?” you say, worried.

“she’s- she’s at her cousins.” she says nervously.

“are you lying?”

“no? i’m not. but i gotta go, ill see you around.” she speaks, walking away hurriedly.

you look around, wondering if you’re crazy.

you pull your phone out of your pocket, going to text paige.

hey, where r u?

you sit and wait. might as well get your rice krispy treat you’ve been wanting.

you walk over to the vending machine, putting in the dollar to buy your treat.

*ding*

*ding*

*ding*

“holy shit what the fuck dude” you whisper to yourself as you get 3 messages back to back from your friend.

you open the messages, and your heart instantly drops.

“what. the. fuck.” you say in your mind.

what the fuck? don’t you guys like .. idk talk?

that’s exactly what your friends message reads.

it’s three pictures of paige walking with some girl. and the third picture..

they’re holding hands.

all of a sudden, an incoming call pops up on your screen from your friend.

“holy shit girl isn’t that your little girlfriend?” says your friend over the phone.

“dude. where are you? how’d you get those?”

“i’m at chick fil a right now, and then i seen THEEE paige bueckers like omg woah then i see her with some girl that wasn’t you and that’s definitely like a omggggg woahhh reaction and so i-” she rambled.

“shut up for a second jesus. holding hands is like actually crazy. alright i gotta go.”

“alright bye babe but talk to her or something and fill me in on the tea pleaseee ok bye love you!!!”

you hang up. you don’t know how to feel right now.

you’re so overstimulated.

you walk back to your room, tears ready to fall from your eyes.

you check the message you sent earlier, and you realize you’ve been on read for ten minutes.

you put down your phone & sit back against your head board. you’re so confused, so upset, so angry.

you feel so stupid.

you start to cry, looking back on everything you’ve done for her. everything you’ve done with her.

she turned you gay, she made you breakup with your boyfriend, and now she’s cheating.

not necessarily cheating, since you guys aren’t technically together.

but that doesn’t matter, you’re off limits to other people and she’s supposed to be.

you don’t hold hands with your cousin like that.

after about 20 minutes of crying, you hear your door open. and speak of the devil, it’s paige.

she walks in, noticing you crying and immediately comes over to you.

“woah woah baby, what’s wrong? are you okay?” she says, confused.

“who is the girl.”

“what? who?”

“the girl! who is she paige?” you yell.

“i don’t know who youre talking about.”

“you know exactly what and who the fuck i’m talking about dude?!” you jeered.

“chill the fuck out,” she tempted, “and if you want me to be honest, she’s just a friend of mine.”

“nobody holds hands like that with their friends. you’re a liar.”

“no way you’re calling me a liar now. i said she was my friend and that’s what the fuck i said. drop it.”

“drop it? you literally said im off limits to other people, so how does that change for you?”

“it doesn’t. i’m just saying, she’s just a friend.”

“whatever paige. i don’t even know how you could do this to me after everything we’ve done for and to each other.” you whine.

“don’t act like a baby now. i’m not the bad person here, you are.” she huffs.

“how the fuck could you even say that?”

“well i’m not the person who left their boyfriend for a girl! i don’t know what you’d expect from me.” she snaps.

“what the fuck? you made me leave him paige! you asked, you convinced, you nagged. don’t flip this shit on me!” you snap back.

“well maybe i wanted to have a little fun. that’s all it fucking was.” she says, an angry look in her eyes.

“take a look around paige, nothing about this is fun to me. read the room. think about how i would’ve felt.”

“how the hell did you even find out?”

“doesn’t matter. don’t flip the subject.” you sass.

“whatever. i don’t know why you thought we were more than a hookup anyway. you’re obsessed and crazy.”

your heart drops. you immediately turn away from her, tears about to form in your eyes.

“get the fuck out.” you snarked.

“alright. i’ll do that then.”

“bye. don’t come back.”

and just like that, you hear the door close. she actually left.

tears immediately start flowing. you feel so hurt, neglected, ridiculed.

you cannot believe the words that came out of her mouth, after everything.

you sniffle and cry, thinking back on the memories you two had.

it would be insane to say it wasn’t more than a hookup. but you guess it was.

as you slowly cry yourself to sleep, you realize this was a mistake.

a/n: hi so this is horrible but pls stay tuned for next chapter, maybe smut maybe not 👅 also someone teach me how to make a masterlist pls??!!!

[talaok]

Hey, I just want to tell you that I like your fanfics so much! and you're truly an amazing writer! Can I please have one shot where the reader asks Pedro to join her on her skin care routine? like it's all so fluffy, and P just keeps looking at her and pecking her lips at the same time. I hope you see this. Thank you so much. We love you, bestie!

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

a/n: thank you so incredibly much love <3, im sorry for the wait, this beautiful request truly deserved better, and of course, i love you too babe❤️

Pedro had always liked to watch you, you'd learned that quickly.

He liked to watch you when you were doing your make-up, cursing at your products when they didn't do their job right, he liked admiring you while you chose what to wear, that cute pensive frown always on your forehead, he liked seeing you put on lotion and bake those amazing cakes you baked, and finally, he liked watching you do your skincare.

He always prolonged his own routine in the bathroom at night just so he could be present for your little ritual of cleansers and serums and creams whose names he couldn't even pronounce, but today, today something had changed, and he'd decided he didn't want to only watch, 

"You want to try?" your lips pulled into a smile as he nodded, his arms around your torso and his head between your shoulder and neck as he hugged you from behind, admiring your face from the mirror

"wanna see what all the fuss is about" he murmured, kissing your neck "What makes my wife abandon me in bed for twenty minutes every night"

You gasped, laughing as you feigned offense

"I have never abandoned you in bed, you're always here with me"

"mhh" he hummed contemplating, inhaling your scent as he tightened his hug "Whatever you say sweetheart" he murmured with that shit-eating grin plastered on his face "now, where do we start?"

He moved to your side, his gaze attentively examining the products filling the counter as if he knew what any of them did.

"first" you started explaining, picking up your oil cleanser and a detergent "we've gotta wash our face"

"I did already"

You glared at him, disappointed at the fact that even after all this time, he still had learned nothing

"it's not washing your face if it's just with water baby, you need a detergent, here" you handed him the white tub and he only opened and closed his mouth as he accepted the product in his hands.

"You're not gonna use this?" he asked, watching as you squeezed some other product in your hand "is this the cheap one?"

"no" you snorted "I just need to use another cleanser before that one cause I'm wearing make up honey"

"oh" he breathed "of course- I knew that"

You both laughed softly at his obvious lie as he squeezed an ungodly amount of detergent onto his hand just to slap it on his face and started rubbing it in with the same delicacy with which he changed a tire

"baby you're not washing the dishes, you've gotta be gentle" you laughed, watching him open his soapy eyes to look at you

"oh- like... this?" he asked, trying to mimic the gentle massage you were giving your own face

"that's better" you nodded, smiling proudly before taking the residues of your makeup off with a cloth

He rinsed his face and watched you as you did what he'd just done, and finally, finally, you asked him something you had no idea how you'd never asked before

"why do you always look at me?" you said, rinsing the detergent off "I'm not gonna disappear into thin air you know?"

He chuckled, his manly and deep voice bouncing from the bathroom tiles

"Are you?" he asked, taking a step so he was once again, right before you, his fingers moving some hair out of your face and lingering on your cheek

"I look at you, because I don't get to do it enough, because it's all I would spend my days doing" he murmured, droplets of water from your face and his hands falling to the ground as your heart sped up "because you're a work of art sweetheart, and because in everything you do, I see all the reasons I love you"

There it is, the man you married, able to melt you up with just a few words, spoken like they didn't seem picked up off a book, like he wasn't the best man you could have ever wished for, like you didn't love him to goddamn death

You didn't say anything, you never could when he said stuff like that, you only spoke through your eyes, through that invisible bond between you, the words lingering on your tongue

I love you

Before you kissed him, the same feeling, the same message, finding him with it.

"that" you smiled "Is why you're never allowed to make speeches before me ever again" 

God only knew how much you had scolded him for making you look like a fool at your own wedding when he made you and half the guests weep with his vows while yours looked like a child wrote them in comparison.

he chuckled, kissing you again, before you mumbled something about finishing the skincare and he pulled away, a grin from ear to ear on both your faces

he followed all your instructions, first came the exfoliating stuff, then the serum, then the creams,

He watched diligently as you showed him how to execute every step, and then copied you, his hands still moving a bit too roughly on his skin.

the only change he brought to your routine, was the kiss he couldn't help but steal from you after every step he accomplished, a soft and quick one, just because he could, just because he wanted, just because you looked cute as ever, and there was only so much he could do to keep his hands off of you.

And after everything was done, after your skin glowed as you looked at your reflection, his eyes too, focusing only on you as his arms wrapped around you, he decided

"I think I should join you every night"

[mothbart]

Favorite fanfiction(s) at the moment? Thanks!! :)

ayo let me....let me share...also im gonna be so fr most of these people are my friends so! let me be biased!

blue lock:

as it goes by cityboys (rin/bachira. truly one of my favorite fics, i've reread it so many times)

the marauders:

get him back by @sixlane (jegulus, incredible james potter, lane really just gets every character down perfectly)

before sunrise by @angel-daydreams (jegulus, cyborg au??? AMAZING)

making ghosts by @itsjaywalkers (jegulus. this is hands down one of my favorite fics by laurie, like making ghosts is something i think about 24/7. ghost hunters au)

light as a ghost (on my mind you weigh the most) by @static-radio-ao3 (jegulus. don't even get me started how much i think about this fic it's ofc more ghost hunters but mil just knows exactly how to tug on heart strings)

god is real (he was sleeping in my bed last night) by @regscupid (jegulus. TRULY a fucking banger fic god jegulus porn what else could you possibly want)

inertia by @licnheartedd (jegulus. kit has put so much of their heart and soul into this fic and it's so obvious. i will never get over how talented they are, like i could write an essay on how incredible their writing is)

we'll be just fine (even when i lose my mind) by @spacexcowgirl (jegulus. my rosie posie wrote this fic and i adored it amazing wonderful but also so is rose so)

ecliptic by @magswrite (jegulus. I AM ECLIPTIC'S BIGGEST FAN AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT TITLE AWAY FROM ME)

cherry bomb! @honeybcj (bartylily. i hope mack knows how much i think about this fic. i will never move on from it actually)

kick drum heart by @theapocryphaofantares (jegulus. THE FIC THAT INTRODUCED ME TO KOLOWV AKA MY BEST FRIEND love him love this fic just love all around)

winterlude by @otrtbs (jegulus. if you have not read winterlude you are truly missing out because the dynamic between jegulus in this fic is one of my faves i think about it often!!!)

jamie doesn't know by @transsexualpriest (bartylily. i am selfishly putting this here because drac was so kind to write this for me for my birthday and i still read it from time to time)

you've got me down on my knees (it's getting harder to breathe) by @messymoony (t4t jegulus. lookin' for some great t4t jeggy?? dw mar's got you)

turn your back on mother nature by @poetskings (jegulus. STORM CHASERS???? amazing. i think about this fic so often too, si killed me with this one actually)

jjk:

built your walls around me by alkhale (itafushi)

here be dragons by kwiewi (tojikuna. sammy writes literally the best tojikuna, every fic is a fucking masterpiece but also sammy is just an incredible writer. i'll never get enough of it)

here and where you are by cityboys (itafushi. can u tell i love cityboys)

愛のある場所; river of light (that brings me to you) by cosmichorrour (satosugu. this fic has made me cry a million times with each read. it's so beautifully well done)

coanda effect by bunniehoney (satosugu. idk jack shit about f1 but when i tell you that the author did such an amazing job explaining everything, you'll feel like a pro reading it.)

[queermania]

Wait wait wait. Jensen picked the writer who gave Dean a lesbian best friend and made him a nerd to be the show runner for his little fixit fic show? This is amazing!

when you look at robbie's run of episodes (that he wrote specifically, not produced or was the executive story editor on), a very specific version of supernatural and dean starts to emerge and it is insanity-inducing. here's a very brief rundown of the episodes robbie wrote:

slash fiction -swayze always gets a pass -dean singing air supply -"it's like eating self-righteousness' -the creation and introduction of frank devereaux -"applications for sainthood" -dean letting sam go

time after time -"what are you gonna look up more anime or are you strictly into dick now?" -dean being a nerdy little fanboy about eliott ness (and checking out a dude in a uniform but that was probably jacting joices) -dean getting excited about dressing up in period clothing!! -understanding that rufus matters and that family isn't just blood -original sam is milf!bait (and he's into it) truther -actually writing grief in nuanced ways -dean is smart and resourceful actually! -your future is "covered in thick black ooze" (which i know is just a very lucky coincidence but i don't care!)

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo -CHARLIE!!! he gave us charlie. he said "actually what if hardcore fans were cool and fun and GAY and they were dean's new best friend" -charlie/dean/security guard flirting split screen -"she's kinda like the little sister I never wanted." "how does a high-school dropout become one of the brightest minds…" -basically this entire episode is just "be gay, do crime" and i love that for me specifically

bitten -not my favorite episode but as @ilarual says "it's very fun in how it illustrates Robbie's willingness to play with form, since it's all done as found footage" -and as @doctorprofessorsong says it "has the concept of monsters aren’t always bad guys" -and apparently it contains a brokeback reference? my memory of this episode is hovering at around 1% tbh but you get it

larp and the real girl -dressing dean up in little outfits AGAIN -and he likes it!!! -and he likes being a nerd! (dean is getting into it and sam is the one who is unamused mr serious guy!!!!) -and charlie is dean's new best friend! -"belladonna" "the pornstar?" -"did you break up with someone too?" -honestly you already know all of it. this is a fan favorite for a reason. what more can i say about this episode??

goodbye stranger -yes robbie was the first writer to try to give us a destiel love confession -cas practicing killing dean over and over and over and still not being able to do it when it comes down to it -"what broke the connection?" gee i wonder -first episode writing cas and he nailed the sort of unintentional deadpan humor that makes cas so lovable ("would it kill you to watch a movie? read a book?" "a movie, no, but with a book with the proper spells—yeah, it could theoretically kill me.") -"if he's so sketchy then why are you praying to him?" -pizza man reference -"do you really think we can trust megstiel?" (we get both megstiel and jealous!dean) -dean quoting lord of the rings (because he's a nerd! and he reads!) -meg roasting the shit out of sam for the amelia stuff -etc

pac-man fever -charlie reading the carver edlund books -charlie and dean being besties/getting a montage -dean telling charlie that what happened with her parents wasn't her fault/understanding the guilt she feels -"i love you" "i know" -"what about castiel? he seems helpful, and dreamy" -again, putting dean in little outfits -charlie knows how to shoot/aim a gun

slumber party -dorothy!! -oz!!! -look, is this episode cheesy? yes. but it's fun and it's so obviously a love letter to the oz source material and i love that about robbie. he does his research and he commits

first born -cain!!!! -drowley team up!!!!! ("friends. besties, actually." im sorry but drowley means so much to me personally and this is the start of their beautiful bromance) -"this is by far the dumbest idea you've ever had." "yeah, well, it's early" -cas liked pb&js!! jelly, not jam. he found jam unsettling!! -"you have a guinea pig? where?" -"you're a terrible liar?" "that is not true. i once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother." -just. sastiel shenanigans (and hugs!) -"she only asked for one thing." "to stop" -anyway. you get it.

meta fiction -dean and cas phone call smiles!! they LIKE each other -metatron media dump -"what makes a story work? is it the plot, the characters, the text? the subtext? and who gives a story meaning? is the writer? or you?" -i think it's important to note that robbie who wrote gabriel faking his own death -cas noticing something is wrong with dean pretty much instantly and then discovering the mark of cain

fan fiction -i mean. come on. -"although we do explore the nature of destiel in act two." -"you can't spell subtext without s-e-x" -sam being such a younger brother and trolling dean about "destiel" -"BM scene" -dean "you know they're brothers, right?"-ing the w*ncest stuff but just being flustered about the destiel stuff ayyyy -dean casually referencing andrew lloyd webber -"transformative fiction" -"i want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can" -dean quoting rent -the samulet is back! -"i have my version, and you have yours." -"he took away our own free will" <- about john!! -THE RETURN OF CHUCK!

there's no place like home -"i forgive you dean" "yeah well i don't" "i know, kinda your move" -"you hurt my friend" -"you lied to me" "you lied to yourself. that's kinda your move." -i mean. robbie just gets it, ya know?

book of the damned -cas being a huge bitch (love that) -sam being the excessively codependent one -cas and charlie get to meet! -found family goodness if only for a little bit!!

angel heart -ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! -"i got it at the hot topical" (and claire keeping grumpy cat) -no seriously. dean and cas went birthday present shopping together for claire and they did it at a mall -castiel feeling guilt for what he did to the novak family (and amelia recognizing that cas has changed/grown) -"you were both troubled teens. you speak her language." -"bring your daughter to work day" -"i'm saying she might be stronger on her own." which is a controversial line but i think it says something really significant about how dean feels about his childhood "in fact you're not anything to her except a constant reminder of someone that's gone." -mini golf!!!!!! dean and claire bonding!!!! -the introduction of the grigori, a class of angels which may or may not be important at some point -claire roasting the shit out of dean with "you seem pretty old" <3 -"happy birthday. don't shoot me."

baby -do i really need to explain anything about this one? -"okay first of all, never use swayze's name in vain, okay? ever." -"mistakes were made" -dean having a dream about john teaching him to drive but under normal and appropriate circumstances -werepire…. ghoulpyre… -honestly just the whole episde. you know what i'm talking about. the unique perspective. the insight into their day-to-day lives. the moments that live in between.

into the mystic -eileen! my best friend eileen! -dean x mildred otp -remembering sam's lucifer/hell trauma -the whole "follow your heart" speech -"banshees go after the vulnerable, so why'd it go after you?" -dean recognizing there's something off with cas -but really the most important thing here is EILEEN

safe house -bobby and rufus!!!! -i repeat BOBBY AND RUFUS!!!! -"were you ever nice?" "1985. worst year of my life." -robbie just really GETS that this show is more fun when it's not centered entirely on the brothers. -bobby referring to sam and dean as his boys -timey wimey shenanigans -there were some interesting implications in this episode too but i'm losing steam here so i'm gonna let you rewatch and figure it out lol

don't call me shurley -the reveal of chuck as god!!!! -bisexual chuck -dean does sam's laundry (sometimes with beer) -chuck is a shitty egotistical writer -he also plays the guitar and: "i like front row seats. you know, i figured i'd hide out in plain sight." -"i thought if i could show my sister that there was something more than just us, something better than us, then maybe she'd change. maybe she'd stop being… her. but every time I'd build a new world, she'd destroy it." -"the world would still be spinning with demon dean in it but sam couldn't have that though could he?" -"you were gonna choose amara over me."

so. yeah. jensen chose THIS GUY to helm the winchesters. bold move, sir. full respect.

also, this tweet always makes me crack up

one of us! one of us! one of us!

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Gameboy

Billy Hargrove x NonBinary!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You didn't think the day could get any worse than this, but apparently you were wrong. tired from work, you came home and had to endure the shouting of your boyfriend and his little sister Maxine. Billy was going too far and you had enough.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: +18 MDNI!! angst, blurb, very bad language, argue, broke-up, sigarettes, threats, intimidation, use of Y/N, no prounons NonBinary!Reader, theme about sex, theme about violence, anger issue, daddy issue, toxic relationship, bad ending. (Please be careful what you are about to read, the themes here are quite heavy and with a bad ending. If you don't feel like it, don't read, thanks)

𝐀/𝐍: My first Billy Hargrove One-Shot. I have to say that he's a character i dont have much interest to be honest, but if you want me to do more one-shots about Billy let me know! Please support new writers and reblog! Im sorry for my english, this is not my native language. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Fuck, fuck and fuck! You thought in your head when you wanted to scream. You had just left the bar where you worked and you could tell you had had a rough day. Your boss didn't stop tormenting you, by now you seriously thought he was mad at you. But that doesn't mean you stopped trying, moving forward and taking criticism and then improving yourself, but despite this the people around you seem bad every day.

You didn't have to think about it. Absolutely not! Now you would have gone to your boyfriend's house and he will surely console you, tell you that everything will be fine–wait...no. Absolutely not. You haven't done these things for almost two months because of your full-time job and the constant evenings where Billy went out, obviously not caring that you needed him. You tried to talk to him a couple of times to find out if something was wrong but he only answered "I'm fine, we're fine, why are you asking me?" You seriously started to think if you were the crazy one or if tiredness was playing a bad joke on you. Billy seemed calm and sees nothing wrong with your relationship. You didn't say anything. You knew the issues Billy was going through with his father lately, so you let it go and once again agreed with him, and blamed it on the stress.

You got to his door before you even knocked and Billy opened it angrily, which scared you. As soon as he noticed you he took a breath and gave you a simple "Hi" before letting you inside. It often happened that you went to sleep at your boyfriend's house, especially when his father wasn't there. As soon as you entered you felt a certain tension in the air and saw Billy take his jacket from the coat rack. You were about to ask something but the boy with golden curls beat you to it "Leave Max alone, that little bitch won't come out of her fucking room until I say so" With that I left the house slamming the door.

Right from him. He doesn't even tell you where he's going or with whom.

Apparently he had argued with Maxine, his younger sister. You completely ignored what Billy said to you and went to Max's door. You could clearly hear that she was crying and that hurts you. Since you met Max she has always seen you as a second parent: kind, helpful, affectionate and above all loving. You were happy to have this relationship with her and when she happened to argue with her brother, you couldn't help but go and console her or try to resolve the situation. Before knocking you looked around, the house was a real mess, or rather a disaster, all of Billy's things scattered everywhere, starting with: weights, ashtrays, porn magazines and gameboys. Shit...

You still don't understand how you managed to fall in love with an imbecile like him. So handsome with those curls and shining face but also so arrogant, messy and not very polite. You gently knocked on the door “Max, it's me Y/N, can I come in?” You heard the little girl sniff and she agreed. You opened the door and found Maxine in tears and her face completely red from the outburst. Her pillow was wet while her cleres were a shade of red from crying. She was lying on the bed and as soon as she saw you, her breath seemed to come back. You sat next to her while you used your fingers to fix some strands of her red hair.

"Maxine...what happened?" You said almost whispering. It took her a while to answer you but in the end she did "Dad...a little while ago he was here and he was arguing with Billy," she began "I didn't know what they were arguing about but then he started hitting him.. ." Her tone was shaky as she tried to collect herself "Did Dad hit Billy?" You asked and she nodded “Yes, the asshole” okay, you got the point. “I stopped him but after mom and the asshole left, Billy started yelling at me” you raised an eyebrow “Why on earth?” The question of when might be obvious seemed difficult for Max to answer. “I don't know for sure, he just told me that I shouldn't meddle in his business” you hugged her and she immediately hugged you back.

“I'll talk to him, I promise” You said and Max looked up immediately. "No Y/N, don't do it. He's too angry and I don't want him to be angry at you too" you smiled at his sweet thought towards you. Max was now like a little sister or a daughter to protect for you, you wouldn't have let Maxine spend the evening locked in her room even though she hadn't done anything "Don't worry about me, I can handle your brother" Oh well, knowing how to handle Billy Hargrove was a big word, but that didn't stop you from consoling Max and preparing her some snacks to stop her crying.

You laughed and joked and Max had finally regained her smile and as if you were a good parent you put a blanket over her while you turned off the light, leaving Max to sleep peacefully. After at least fifteen minutes, Billy came home with a bottle of beer in his hand, you snorted at the sight. You had been waiting for him all evening and you would have at least hoped that for once he wouldn't come back drunk although he seemed quite sober.

"Where have you been?" You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. He looked at you with a face that got on your nerves, he was bored.

"I asked you, where have you been" You repeated and he made a small moan and then replied "Outside for some fresh air" You didn't want to ask why he was drunk, you had gotten used to it by now so you let it go. Meanwhile he had thrown his jacket on the sofa.

"Why did you and Maxine argue?" Billy turned to look at you. He sat comfortably on the living room sofa bare-chested while he was ready to light his cigarette which he held between his lips. "Where's Max?" He asked "In her room to sleep after you made her cry" his face didn't change a bit, he was serious and definitely bored "Y/N, I specifically told you to leave Max alone, she was supposed to stay in her room " you nodded "In fact, she stayed in the room, but I kept her company" He let out a laugh and then looked back at your figure "You shouldn't have interacted with her" you shook your head "I'm sorry Billy, but I don't stay at your rules" at that statement he took the cigarette out of his mouth "I just want to know why you picked on her, you know I don't like seeing you or your sister like this"

"It's none of your business. What happens here is none of your business Y/N" you were shocked "Excuse me? You're my boyfriend, what happens to you is a fact that until proven otherwise concerns me too" You took a few steps closer towards the sofa. Billy giggled again and you were sure that the next one he would make would drive you mad "And let's hear, why on earth?" You gave an obvious look "Um, hello? We're engaged Billy, engaged!" You timed the last word well "Oh right, I forgot" he said it in a sarcastic way and now your nerves were getting frayed "Oh, I'm sorry this is weighing on you Billy" you too played the sarcasm card and he rolled his eyes "What the fuck Y/N! Now I have to tell you everything I do?" You nodded quickly "Yes, you piss me off that I have to tell you where I'm going, with who and why otherwise you'll ban me from going out" You almost screamed but then lowered your voice remembering Max in the other room.

Billy had lit his cigarette in the meantime "But that has nothing to do with it -" you stopped him while your blood was boiling "It certainly has something to do with it William!" Your eyes were different, they were like Billy had never seen them and when you used his real name he understood that you were seriously pissed. Billy hates being called by his real name and you knew it very well, you did it on purpose. You wanted him to understand how serious you were and how tired you were of the current situation.

“How dare you call me?” Even though he was drunk, Billy was high and his eyes were fixed on you as they gave you a horrible feeling. They wanted to intimidate you, but you weren't like that and he knew it from the first moment he met you. Even if you were afraid that he would knock your teeth out and then make you spill all your blood until you apologized, but you were brave and you wouldn't let yourself be bossed around.

You pointed your finger at him "Oh no! Don't try to make that angry dick face because I'm the angry one, you understand?" He was surprised by your arrogant response "Things have been going on like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. You barely look at me, all you do is go out in the evening and you don't even tell me where you're going, but you do it when you're too drunk to drive and I have to pick you up" You started and he looked like he was listening intently "And this happens every Friday night Billy. I come home from work tired and destroyed by those filthy pieces of shit and instead being close to me all you do is complain" He snorted and now gave you a different look. He put the cigarette in the ashtray, even though he hadn't smoked it at all. He seemed calm and approached you smiling lovingly... was it the alcohol by any chance? Or maybe bipolar?

"Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry, now how about we go relax over there–" you pushed him. You were disappointed. His response disgusted you more than expected "No Billy. You won't play your fucking game on me telling me I'm right when in reality you just want to take me to bed and fuck me the way you like it" his face was back and angry more than first "But apparently the other times you didn't hesitate to open your legs for me" it was cheeky and disgusting and you slapped him. You had become a burning fire and you were sure that you would burn him and his house down "Because I was blinded by a filthy imbecile asshole like you. I thought you loved me..." You felt the burning in your eyes as your eyes became shiny. You were too weak to face the truth but you needed it...as much as you loved that boy with all your heart, he would never love you "Oh so now it's me not loving you?" He said dramatically and the tears came out and this time you screamed "Billy, you never console me and only seek me out when you feel like having sex with me. What did you take me for? A toy? I'm your fucking gameboy by any chance?" He tried to answer but couldn't find the right words and blurted out "Shut your mouth" your nervous system was out of control and you raised your voice again "Not this time Billy! Not after I've opened and closed it as you please!"

Now you didn't care who could hear you or who you would disturb. You were tired. You didn't want this. You wanted a serious relationship with a serious person. You wanted someone who values ​​you and takes care of you when you need it, always available and who doesn't see you as a sex toy giving you false illusions. "Calm down, young lady! Show respect" you looked at him and in front of you you had another person. Not Billy Hargrove, but William Hargrove...the real him. Despite everything he was that and you were sorry for ruining yourself by being around him. You didn't think he would ever threaten you, an attitude you hated and hoped your boyfriend wouldn't attribute to "Wow...now you're threatening me?" Billy later realized what he said and didn't reply "Congratulations Billy Hargorve. You ruined my life. You made fun of me and took advantage of me and used me to please your cock when it got hard and needy. But worse…you became your father” you never thought you would say it, but you did. With that sentence you knew you would unleash his anger and you didn't give him time to react "It's over." You announced and then headed towards the door and exited the house as he yelled after you in anger. You didn't want to hear it or deal with it ever again. You had endured enough and it was time to end it.

You had ended a year-long relationship and you now ask yourself in tears as you walked quickly to your house as you had done. You didn't know that obviously. You will never understand, you loved him, what did you need to know or realize? As beautiful and magical as love could be, it was also blind and cruel. It seemed to be a difficult game where the only possibility of victory was to survive until the game itself got tired of testing you, and then it throws a truth in your face that you would rather ignore. But ultimately it was better to suffer for the truth than to live in something that didn't exist.

Now you needed to get up and continue to live your life but you weren't motivated to move forward and live like you did before working, especially now that the only person you loved was just a liar who loved playing with people's feelings and what's more he preferred masturbating to porn magazines than spending sweet moments with you. Would you have suffered? Yes. And you don't know for how long, but you hoped for little since you couldn't cry and dry up your tears for someone who never deserved you and who the only thing he ever worshiped was your body.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hamsteak? Again? God, everything happens so much, but at least we're done with Vriska. And I can copy and paste text again. Wowsers. Anyway we're out of hell and now we're with The Moms, in a suspiciously green-and-orange environment.

ROSE: This is an impressive shield. ROSE: I don't think I've ever seen you make one this size before. JADE: ive been practicing! JADE: if i stay focused i should be able to keep it up for quite a while.

Oh hey, starting us right off with Deepest Lore, as Jade can apparently make shields. We've never really seen her "natural" Witch of Space powers in the original comic, since she was using First Guardian powers the whole time (or no powers and just gadgets like the soothspecs, back before everyone became X-Men). I've been wondering what she could do au natural, and...apparently it's shields? Would not have called that, but sure.

JADE: between yiffys capture and rescue and finding dave... JADE: like that... JADE: i just feel like my life flashed before my eyes and it made me a little crazy! JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now

It's still weird to me that Dave's "death" was so recent to the characters. That was in the epilogues! We made a sequel series since then! It got cancelled! Then it got revived! It was a long time!

JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now ROSE: Nothing beats a rump to the skull for mental clarity. JADE: the mistakes we made are so obvious to me now JADE: embarrassingly obvious!

Being unconscious is Jade's natural state, so naturally it heals her. Also I detect a justification for a small change in Candy Jade's characterization here, like she'll be acting differently that she has been and this is the excuse. Lets stick a pin in that thought, though.

JADE: this whole situation is my fault and even though it just keeps getting more frustrating and shitty im going to do right by you JADE: were going to figure this out ROSE: Are you sure it's prudent to keep this amateur marriage counselor performance up? JADE: rose... JADE: youre taking this seriously JADE: right? ROSE: I don't know what you mean by that.

I really do like this characterization of Candy Rose, though (which is apparently also a slight retcon from the original plans, according to the writer commentaries). None of this is real, so she doesn't give a shit about any of it. Her mid-life crisis is worse than John's.

JADE: though playing stupid and cajoling her into slapping me around for catharsis wont work anymore JADE: well have to think of something else... ROSE: Jade, I've been compliant with these clumsy machinations partially because they weren't all that consequential at the time, but you need to cut your losses.

Oh we are hard retconning Candy Jade's personality here. She's not an emotional wreck at all, at least part of it is her clumsy attempt at being Machiavellian. Are they building up to changing Yiffy's backstory, far and away the least popular idea in HS2?

JADE: "ohhhh bluh bluh blah i can see the fruitlessness of all our clumsy insignificant thrashing in fates cosmic current" JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!

Opens Homestuck_2_Speculation.rtf.doc.xpf.bro

What information is this, Jade? Is it related to the visions Calliope had that let her build the machine? The only future sight Jade's ever had is the clouds of Skaia

JADE: "abloo hoo hoo, my life is a monkey paw, everything i want hurts me in the end" ROSE: It was a little pathetic. JADE: I KNOW!

Oh man, that's going back deep.

This aspect of Jade, that deep down she's a bit of a wreck but she toughs it out because she hates her own weakness, hasn't really been focused on since Act 4 of the original comic when it got personified in Jadesprite. It's nice to see that aspect referenced again here. I liked Jade's speech justifying Yiffy's existence, it did a lot to make that plot point go down smoother, but I totally buy that Jade herself hated it. Kind of funny that we had six updates of Vriscourse and now I have way more to say about this one expository speech out of Best Girl, but Jade's actually a pretty complex character and her issues are so often glossed over as "Wow she had to live in isolation for three years after her brother and boyfriend randomly exploded and that's kind of sad I guess", so it's nice to spend some time inside her head like this.

JADE: the truth is whatever people WANT to believe JADE: you can either try forcing them to understand your side JADE: leave it completely in their hands and take no responsibility JADE: or you work with their wants and perspectives JADE: and make some informed compromises ROSE: Over the state of reality? JADE: rose i am begging you can you please cut it out with all the cryptic cosmic crap and come back down to earth???

One of my pet peeves of the epilogues is that Dave Strider turns into a Bernie Sanders supporter and keeps talking about "neoliberalism" despite living in a wacky future utopia planet and having never lived through the 2016 Democratic Primary that all his talking points were cribbed from, but we have an explanation for that now. It's his wife. Jade was the neoliberal all along.

JADE: thats whats scaring me! JADE: youre not prepared for how bad it can get JADE: you have no idea at all!!!!!!!!!!! ROSE: If you say so.

That was a joke but this is sounding a little suspiciously like voting discourse, but that might just be me being election-brained. God I'm so stressed, please vote for Harris if for no other reason to make Trump-analogue Jane Crocker feel dated and weird.

Jade has no idea what she’s talking about. There’s not a thing to worry about here. You came out the womb playing defense

You didn't come out of a womb at all. You've never even been in one. Also holy shit this page is called Rose: Ramble and it's early-HS2 levels of Wall of Text, though I think you're actually intended to glaze over it a little.

It doesn’t really matter, in the long run. Important or not, Vriska’s going to fail. Jane’s going to fail, too; really, just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters. In an unsuccessful effort to stave off that failure, and perhaps to atone for it on some level, Calliope will sacrifice herself, fruitlessly. You’re not exempt from the firing squad, either. In the imminent battle, you are going to be shot in the head, the bullet burying deep into your moral grey matter and jamming up the works of your conditional immortality, leaving you confined to a hospital bed. You had to pull all kinds of ridiculous, eyebrow-raising Chaos Theory shit to figure that one out. The rat-tail was worth it, your daughter’s anguish aside.

It's generally considered bad writing to have a prophecy not come true, but I think this is bullshit and Rose's Seer of Light powers don't work in a land of pure void.

KANAYA: Those Two Will Not Be Joining Us On The Battlefield Either KARKAT: OH? KANAYA: I Know Such Decisions Are Well Above My Pay Grade And That The Critical Need To Win This Battle Far Outweighs My Marital Discomfort KANAYA: And Being Down Two Gods Isnt Exactly Ideal KANAYA: But... KANAYA: I Cant KANAYA: Sorry KARKAT: DON'T BE.

KARKAT: FUCK ‘EM.

Man, Punished Karkat is cool.

Man, I love how stupid Jane's death ray looks. It's a cake!

Your father never did voice any kind of opinion on your parenting style. In hindsight, he was probably avoiding the subject altogether.

It's hard to talk with your dad when he's not allowed to have any dialogue due to stylistic convention. I have that issue with my uncle.

JAKE: Oh. JANE: chhhhhhhhlmm nnnn. JAKE: OH CRIPES! JAKE: I'M SORRY JANEY!!! JANE: kkkkkkkkaaaaaa?? JAKE: JUST- S-STAY STILL OK?

lmao. This is the absolutely best way this assassination attempt could've gone.

This art is excellent.

Man, this was a great update, Jesus. So much shit is going on, and while HS2 and HS:BC have had good moments this is the first time in a long while I've really had that classic Homestuck feeling that made me fall in love with the comic in the first place.

[no-nameno-face]

Auburn Thoughts (Pt.4)

Pairing: Reader x Ellie Williams

Summary:  After a long night, and waking up with a raging hangover, Ellie comes to your aid.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. Mostly fluff this chapter, sub!reader, dom!ellie, mentions of alcohol and being drunk, biting, bruising, hangover, pills, taking pills

Author's Notes: this definitely isn't my favorite chapter ever, i have pretty bad writers block (i much prefer making audios, but I really want to improve my writing.) with that being said i still hope you guys enjoy it. <3 some more fluff and lovey dovey stuff. I love teasing (but caring) Ellie so much. I just know she so full of sarcasm but like insanely protective and caring. UGHHHHH shes so real to me :( I think (dont quote me on this) the next chapter will have an audio! I have some fun ideas!!!! Eeee <3 anywho if youre reading this ilysm and i appreciate you 

Part 3

Part 5 (WITH AUDIO)

______________________________________________________________

Hands gripping sheets, white knuckles. All I see is her. Her… Her name rolling off my tongue, I can't say it enough. 

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie.

______________________________________________________________

My eyes drift close as the current carrying my body resides, leaving me sensitive and aching in its wake. Heaving breaths fill the silence, hers and mine. Synchronated. 

I feel her fingers as they brush a hair out of my face.  And I look up to meet her gaze, a thank you in my eyes. A finally in hers.  

“What the fuck?” she says, lips lifting into a smile, shaking her head slightly.

“What the fuck!” I return, matching her expression. My voice shakier than hers. We laugh at the precarious situation beneath us. My arms shift to cover my bare chest. My cheeks a bright shade of crimson, replaying the events in my mind. Ellie sits up, the warmth of her knee leaving me. I watch as she leans over the side of the bed and grabs my shirt, tossing it to me before turning to grab her own. I pull it over my head, and flinch slightly as it scratches over my tender breasts. 

“You good?” she asks me with a smirking sideways glance as she pulls the black tank on. I chuckle.

“Umm.. yeah you could say that.” hands fidgeting in my lap. My eyes shoot up to her suddenly, brow furrowed. “Should I..” my gaze drifts to her hips, “Do.. do you want to?” I sigh, she smiles. “I feel bad.” She looks at me with amusement.

“No. I’m fine. Watching you was enough.”

“Jesus Christ Ellie,” I say, averting my gaze. Not hiding the effect of her words on me. She laughs at me. “Don’t fucking laugh, im trying to be.. Like.. accommodating or some shit.” 

“Accommodating?” she raises her brows at me. 

“I don't know man, I've never done this shit before,” Rolling my eyes. She squints at me.

“You've never.. Do you mean like.. With a girl?” she questions. My eyes widen when I realize the information I shared. 

“No! I- I mean, technically yeah.. but like its..” her eyes widened at me. “I mean I haven't with a guy either.. I just..” STOP TALKING! “It's not like it's the first time I’ve.. You know..” I stumble over my words, unable to stop my babbling.

“Came?” She raises a brow. I gape at her. “I’d sure hope not. That shit’d be bad for your health.” she says smiling. I glare at her. 

“Fuck off” she smirks, standing. She paces to the kitchenette in the corner and starts opening cabinets. “What are you doing?” She pulls out a glass.

“Getting you some water. It's been a long night.” she says, filling the glass from my sink, bringing it to me. 

“Aftercare? Who knew you were such a gentleman?” I take it from her, gulping it down. I didn't realize how parched I was.

“Did you expect anything less?” She sits next to me, the bed shifting at her weight. I meet her smirk.

“So.. you said I have no idea how long you've wanted this.. Me..” I say looking into her. 

“Well I..” her turn to be flustered. “I didnt know you wanted me… you know… in the same way. I mean don't get me wrong, I saw how you watched me in class,” I blush at this, “but I figured it was just in a weird ‘I like drawing so I observe everything’ sorta way I guess.”

“Ellie, I was totally checking you out.” I laugh. 

“Dude, I didn't even know you were into girls. You look like so straight.” 

“I look straight?”

“Yeah, you do.” She says matter of factly. 

“Hmm. Funny. Did I still look straight while I was on top of you?” I raise my brows, “Under you?” my confidence ebbing and flowing, dependent on her own. She rolls her tongue over her teeth.

“Debatable.”

“There's no winning with you, is there?”

“I'm hard to beat.”

“I'd like to take that challenge.” a moment passes us. I don't want it to end.

“It's really late,” she sighs. 

“Shit,” I say looking at the alarm clock on my bedside table. 2:47 AM.

“I'm gonna head back to my place, I don't want my bike to get towed.” I feel a small pang of disappointment. 

“Yeah, no, that totally makes sense.” she starts putting her flannel back on.

“It seems a bit late to ask but, can I have your number?” She smiles at me.

“Mmm.. No. Sorry. I'm not into girls.” I tilt my head at her. She pokes her cheek with her tongue. I laugh, sticking my hand out. She gives me her phone and I put in my number. I stand up and give it to her, walking her to the door.

I watch her put her shoes on. “Get home safe,” I say leaning against the wall, crossing my arms. She gives me a sideways smile and in a split second she is gently grabbing my cheek and kissing me. Much softer than before.

“Bye.” 

I'm too flustered to respond before she leaves the door. Fuck me. I'm left standing there staring at the wall. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. Did that just happen? Oh my god. My hand shoots to my lips. My knees squeeze at the memory of her touch.  I sit here for a minute trying to process tonight's events. 

I need to go to bed, I tell myself trying to break the chain of my thoughts. I go into the bathroom and grab my face wash. I splash some cold water on my face and take a pump of the soap, scrubbing. I rinse it off and grab my towel blindly. I pull the towel down my face, finally looking myself in the eye until… my eyes dart to my neck. A FUCKING BITE MARK. I gape at it, already bruising. Part of me is mad that she would be so reckless, but the other is saying Hers. I'm marked as HERS.

I flop onto my bed, lying there. Wishing she was still here with me. My fingers drift to the mark, and push on it enjoying the dull pain. A reminder of her mouth on me, and a thought of the other places I would like it to be-

BUZZ

I shoot up looking for my phone, I grab it off the nightstand and check it anxiously.

I fumble with my phone, seeing the 8 missed calls. Shit. I had completely forgotten to tell her where I went. I press on the missed call and my phone starts dialing.

“Hello?”  she sounds upset.

“Hi!! Chloe i'm so sorry I-”

“Where the fuck are you? Dude I was scared shitless”

“I’m fine! I just got too drunk and a..” I look at my bed, where Ellie lounged earlier, “a friend took me home. It's fine!”

“Its not fucking fine,” she still sounds drunk, her words slightly slurring together “Seriously you didnt even tell me where you were going!”

“I tried! I couldn't find you!”

“Then you should've tried harder!”

“Maybe you shouldn't have left me in a house full of drunk men, did you think about that?” 

“Oh fuck off, youre a big girl. You couldn't be alone for 10 seconds?”

“Chlo-”

“You fucking ruined my night. I've sat here worried about you for the last hour, stressed out of my mind.”

“I understand, I'm sorry.” I say, resigned to the conversation. She's drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying.

CLICK

The phone hangs up and I stare at the now dim screen. I'm too tired to be upset, I'll talk to her later about everything. I fall into my pillow and pull a blanket over my legs. My mind is drained, the adrenaline of my high crashing into heavy eyes and deep breathing as I slip into sleep. 

______________________________________________________________

BUZZ

My eyes drift open, everything is blurry and way too bright. I squint as pain shoots through my skull. I definitely drank too much last night. I reach, patting my bed trying to locate my phone. Finally, when my fingers find it I roll onto my side to see who texted me. An unfamiliar number. Ellie.

I make my way, slowly, to the kitchen looking in the fridge. Eggs and milk. That's it. God, I need to go grocery shopping. I pour myself a cup of water and dig in my drawers until I find a small bottle of pills. I pop one while I walk back to my bed. Setting my cup down, I fall onto my mattress. I turn on a YouTube video and cover my head with a pillow. Trying to drown out the raging light. 

BUZZ

After not hearing anything for a while, I pressed the pillow back into my eyes and waited for the meds to kick in and take the edge off of my raging headache.

KNOCK KNOCK

My brow furrows against the cushion. 

KNOCK KNOCK

I groan and sit up, it must be the hall director checking in. It had been about a month since her last drop in so that would make sense. But god, bad timing. I sluggishly made my way to the door and swung it open. Green eyes met mine. 

“God you look awful.”

“Ellie!” Oh my god. I very quickly became aware of how disheveled I was. She walks by me, holding up a brown bag of food. 

“Cheeseburgers!” she announces, setting it down on the counter. I'm still at the door while my pained brain plays catch up. I finally make my way to her, she's pulling out loads of food and laying it all out. She hands me a wrapped burger,

“Eat.” she commands. 

“Umm Ellie.. I'm vegan.” I look at her with concerned eyes. Her face drops. My worried look shifts to humor as I laugh, “I’m fucking with you. You should've seen your face.” she furrows her brows at me, “God you're so cute.'' I say taking the burger. And striding to the bed. 

“That was mean.” 

“Was it? I thought it was pretty funny.” I sit on the bed. She grabs a burger too and sits next to me while I unwrap my own. It hit me all at once, my brain finally acclimating to the situation. I told her I didn't have anything, and she went out of her way. For me. My heart flutters.

“Thanks for this Ellie. I really appreciate it.”

“Is that one of your jokes too?” I nudge her with my shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Ibuprofen, greasy burgers, and you? Shit, I'm not complaining” I say as I take a bite. She beams at me. Her smile is so beautiful. “Do you wanna watch something?” 

“Yeah!” she says, settling against my headboard, scooching closer so our shoulders touch. Butterflies flew through my shoulder into my belly where they fluttered happily. I turned on The Office and we sat there together, eating and laughing and comparing the characters to each other.

“You're definitely Dwight.” 

“That's so rude!” I smack her shoulder playfully. “If I'm Dwight then you’re Andy, and that is arguably worse.” I suggest.

“Ouch, that's just mean. At least Dwight is funny.” I raise my brows at her.

“You see my point!”

She bites her lip. “You're kinda cute when you're a smart ass.” I feel my cheeks turn pink. She notices and uses it as an opportunity to fluster me further, laying her hand on my upper thigh. My breath catches in my throat. She smiles at this, settling back to watch the show. My eyes are on the tv but my thoughts are stuck on her fingers, and the many places I wish they would be. I feel warmth grow as I think about her fingers on me. In me… Two can pay at this game.

I move closer to her, closing the space between us, laying my head on her shoulder. I put my hand on hers and start drawing lazy shapes on her knuckles. I see chills decorate her tattooed arm. Her hand squeezes my thigh ever so slightly, and I exhale a bit too loud. It's almost like I can see her ears perk up.  I see her eyes, in my peripheral vision, settle on my hand and trace up my body. 

“You're in the same outfit as last night.”

“Okay, Jesus, don't call me out like that.” I sigh. “I was too tired to change.”

She turns to meet my eyes and I notice a mischievous glint shine across them. “Do you wanna hop in the shower?” The butterflies that settled in my stomach migrate to the warmth between my legs. I sat there blind sided by her question. She liked to one-up me, and she's damn good at it. 

“Its okay if not,” she shrugs

“No!” my voice comes out a bit too high-pitched, I correct it, “I- if you want to, I'm okay with it.” she smiles before standing and walking towards my bathroom. I'm frozen to my mattress. She turns to me when she reaches the door and tilts her head at me, playfully.

“Are you coming?”

[bloomingdarkgarden]

Ahhhh I just finished chapter 37 of dark garden - can’t wait for more and hope it goes beyond 42.

I also wanted to say you are a marvelous writer/author I think you’ve put SJM and many others to shame and should continue and embrace your talents and own storylines - they would be killer!!! You have such a way with storytelling i feel as tho i understand and like the characters so much better than the books. I can’t believe you said you haven’t written before!

Im living for this story I don’t think I will like whatever book SJM comes out with next as much as this. No hate on her or anyone just being honest.

Hope Elriel gets the long overdue lovemaking they deserve lol!!

a) thank you enormously for these gracious compliments, im smiling.

b) i had 0 experience with creative writing when i started this thing so watching it explode in popularity has been a wild ride. It was like, oh shit people like my weird dark poetic words, oh shit a lot of people like this, oh shit it has to be good now lol. Admittedly it takes me longer to update because I somehow gained a massive audience (WBITD usually gains 2k hits just in the first 24 hours I post and many more thereafter) so there's a very high level of expectation, which can be terrifying for me as someone who has never done this before. I've undertaken crazy shit for this story. I've stared at the walls until 4am thinking about where to take Elain's journey. I once spent 20 hours making 1 map. I toiled and studied medieval crusade battles, greek oracles, so many things. I cannot even believe i wrote this thing. Who writes nothing their entire life and then makes a 900 page novel fully flushed with deep slow burn romance, mystic plot, lore, war conflict, a shit ton of botany, i don't even know what? ehoney.

c) it will probably be more like 45 chapters and Elain and Az are gonna get everything they deserve and then some mark my words.

[ot3]

tangentially related to 30 rock... i just finished watching girls5eva because its the level of sitcom that's fine for me to watch while working and someone brouht it up in my inbox a week or so ago. but when i saw the tiny fey EP credit i was like ahhh okay that makes sense.

showrunner of girls5eva was meredith scardino who was a writer on kimmy schmidt, which also tracks. the 30 rock dna is really trickling down through those shows and i can't tell if its getting weaker as it goes or if its just that since this style of humor is no longer novel it doesnt hit as well

girls5eva was fine i watched the whole thing (i accidentally started on season 3 and did not realize until it was finished. i dont know why netflix decided to start this show at season 3 for me when i hadnt watched the previous ones?) and it definitely had some funny moments but i felt it just like it wasn't quite getting where it needed to humor-wise for me. like all of the ribbing about the horrible misogyny and shit that was just Everywhere in the 00s was fun but i think over all just nothing about it was fresh in a way it would have needed to be to make the show stand out

i never finished kimmy schmidt but i do remember it being pretty funny. havnet watched it since the first few seasons were originally airing, maybe ill go back and do that to compare. but theres also something to be said for how much shorter every show has to be now. girls5eva is 3 seasons with 22 episodes total (dont know if its getting a 4th but it's still listed as 2021- on everywhere), kimmy schmidt was 4 seasons with 51 episode. meanwhile 30 rock had 7 seasons and 139 ! episodes. that's a pretty fucking significant difference. so it may be that just having more leeway to throw spaghetti at the wall gives you the chance to be funnier.

im not exactly tapped in to the sitcom market but i feel like it's been probably around a decade since we've gotten a new one that's really managed to produce what i view as stand-out and novel humor. definitely the best one since 30 rock has been community, but i also do think brooklyn 99 managed to really nail a lot of good Bits even if the way it made people act was intolerable a lot of the time. captain holt you will always be famous. but other than those 2 i don't think anything really groundbreaking has been done in the US sitcom landscape since the aughts

im sorry abbott elementary stans its perfectly enjoyable television but it's just like Doing a Parks and Rec again which was in turn Doing An Office But Twee itself.

[kawaiibarty]

thoughs on snape

i believe the only reason why he isn't popular with the marauders fandom is that everything about him is set in stone.

you can't make up any what ifs and whatnots about him because what we have is a multitudinous amount of facts and canon that you can't exactly make theories about because it's already explained.

and the reason why people get so mad about that is because barty (one of the main characters they like to argue about) has, without a doubt, done much worse than snape yet he's made out to be this babygirl cunty character that everyone loves with all these quirks and shit.

also why people tend to dislike characterisations of regulus and stuff. because what little was taken was expanded on and made to look all cutesy whereas snape stayed the same old miserable bullied twat to the fandom.

personally, im not such a grand fan of his character, but that doesn't mean i don't like seeing him in fanfiction. very rarely does his character deviate and i find it hilarious that most fanfic writers end up writing him very similarly.

i believe he has potential to be a really good character in fics with more darker plots and sticking to wizarding world/magic fics because im going to be honest seeing him in a contemporary setting is fucking whiplash inducing.

like i can get passed seeing the names sirius and regulus but SEVERUS. im sorry id probably faint.

another thing about sev is that a lot of the people he's shipped with is so fucking weird. im sorry but there's a lot of fics where he's shipped with the oddest of people

a lot of the stuff i post about him is largely satirical and entirely rage bait. trust

but yeah i just think that severus was a character that really only worked well in the original books. i genuinely thought that without him a lot of the plot would've had a lot of holes and that dumbledore would genuinely have started tweaking.

ooooo i remember something so this is me again after ignoring this in my notes AGAIN but i feel like, if snape could genuinely just get his head out of his arse he could be a good guy okay buh bye

[amoebagrl]

catch me if you can, working on my tan (PREVIEW)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ neighbor!ellie williams x fem reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ summary: ellie spends her first summer at her and her fathers new vacation house, and her first summer with a summer fling.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n: hi! i hope u guys enjoy this lil preview of a fic im working on, so sorry it’s taking so long to write, i’m super busy. it should be done in a week or two :) per usual, join my taglist to be notified when i post the full thing & song used in title is slavatore by lana del rey! ♡

Ellie didn't know why Joel decided to purchase a beach home, but she was greatful for it.

Summers in Jackson were grueling. The hot, and sticky air definitely wasn't her favorite.

So when her adoptive father, Joel, had let her know that his offer the house had been accepted, Ellie was overjoyed.

In the weeks before summer break, she became more anxious and excited to spend her summer on the beach.

She wondered how different the beach town would be from her home, and what kind of kids her age would be there.

When the day finally came, Ellie was packed and ready, sitting at the table with her bags in hand, and suitcase by her feet.

"Woah there kiddo" Joel laughed as he entered the dining room. "What? I'm ready" *You sure are" he chuckled "Can we go yet?" the auburn-haired girl whined.

"Well if I knew you were fixin' to get going this early, would have finished packing" "Seriously?!" Ellie called out to the man as he walked away.

He entered the room with his luggage after, what Ellie claimed to be, hours.

They piled up into the beat up truck and began their twelve hour drive to Florida.

Joel insisted they only stopped for absolute necessities, but found himself stopping for snacks one too many times.

When they arrived, it was dark, around 10:00 at night. Ellie had fell asleep in the passenger seat around halfway in the trip, after claiming she ‘wasn't tired’ and it reminded Joel of when she was a kid.

"Ellie. Ellie. Cmon get up" Joel whispered, nudging the girl.

"Huh?" She asked, stirring "We're here. Come on, get inside" "What about all the bags?" "Well get it all in the morning" "Mhm" she groaned.

Unbuckling her seatbelt and walking inside, she barely took the time to look around, just heading straight for her bed, which was already made. She took a mental note to thank Joel in the morning before falling asleep.

Ellie woke up to the bright sunshine creeping in through the window. She slowly sat up and creeped out of her bedroom, looking for her father.

"Morning Ellie" Joel croaked out from the kitchen, turning around with a mug full of coffee.

"Goodmorning" Ellie yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Ya sleep well?" The older man asks, sipping on the steaming cup. "Mhm. Thanks for making my bed and stuff." She smiled, truly greatful.

"No problem." He replied, grinning in return.

"Hey, why don't you go down the street and get us some of those...uh... 'a-kai' bowls?" He asked, reaching for his wallet. "I think it's açaí, but sure.

Let me get dressed" She nods, turning to go back upstairs to get dressed.

The auburn-haired girl emerges 20 minutes later in jeans and a t-shirt, tugging on her beat up converse.

"This good?" She looks up, unsure if the outfit is suitable for the hot weather.

"Jesus, Ellie. I said clothes for hot weather, it's

'bout ninety degrees!" "I'll be fine" She rolls her eyes, grabbing the $20 bill from Joels hands, before stepping outside.

"Shit." She gasps, fanning herself for a moment before grabbing her skateboard off the porch and stepping onto the sidewalk, heading off down the block for the small shop.

The bells over the front door chimed as Ellie stepped in the small, but nice, café.

"Welcome! What can I get started for 'ya?" You asked, looking up from the cash register to meet the customers gaze.

"Oh, um... Can I look over the menu and stuff?" Ellie asked, bringing her hand up to rub the back of her neck, a nervous tic she had.

"Of course" You smiled sweetly.

reblog to help support your fav writers! 🫧

taglist: @5prettygirl5 @cowgirlcherrie @553ellie @certifedcrybunny @hi2647 @romioneslut

[heyftinally]

https://www.tumblr.com/heyftinally/748388217187958784/i-love-bitching-about-taylor-swift-and-im-glad?source=share

Hi I saw this on my dash and wanted to say I agree with your anon and your reply so much. The thing that annoys me the most isn't that she stays silent about x issues it's that she constantly claims to be a massive ally/activist for x groups/issues but when it's actually time to be an active ally she says NOTHING. It's clear in her doc she only said all that she did about being an ally and how actions speak louder than words to make herself look good bc people were calling her out, not bc she actually cared. What has she done since that doc was made in 2020? She hasn't done many actions and even with just words she's been mostly silent on things.

It's like her constantly claiming she is a massive feminist and cares about women's issues but when many women [along with trans men and NBs] had to deal with abortions being banded/illegal on a federal level in the USA she didn't say anything until after the decision was finalized why bc she's billionaire rich and worldwide famous so it wouldn't effect her. Her fans claim her speaking up before hand wouldn't have done anything and that is the dumbest shit I've heard given her fame and power status. She only cares about feminism or any women's issues when she gets to be at the center of it and she just uses it as a weapon so others can't hate on her.

Let's not even get started how she's the appitmy of "white feminism" [or how I see it caring about feminism only when it benefits herself] bc she screams feminism but I didn't see her saying anything when a poor innocent young woc was getting racist death threats from HER fanbase bc of a tweet SHE made. Wasn't the actresses fault that one line joke was made blame the writers of that netflix show! This situation alone tells me she hasn't "changed/learned" like she claimed in her doc.

She's the exact same as she was back in the day when she was silent on the fact white supremist groups idolized her and claimed her as "one of them". She was silent for years on the matter and only said something when she changed from typical southern country gal to liberal pop girlie and her older pop fanbase was like umm what is this? I honestly don't understand how ANYONE over looks the ws group situation. It's very alarming. She's not a kind of done some questionable things person it's VERY red flag things she has done or in this case not done.

When it comes to the music portion it's just like you said if she wasn't shoved down our throats 24/7 and treated like the greatest artist who ever lived we wouldn't care so much her music is average and her latest album was awful. All the lyrics I've seen on SM are so wtf? Who wrote this? THIS is the "greatest writer of our generation"? Outing her ex as someone with mental health issues and how you just wanted him to "easily get better" so you could love him? Outing yourself as awful [yet again] by saying the things your other ex did was just "bad jokes" and you thougut you could fix him bc racism, misogyny and SAing workers on stage at your concerts are just "bad jokes". Romanticizing 1800s America. Acting like you had a lower class upbringing with many bills to pay when really you had a rich upbringing and your daddy bought your way into the music industry.

Also her putting out 20+ versions of one damn album so she can make as much money as possible and have as many streams as possible is so 😵‍💫. It was such a cash grab when she had the backs of midnight vinyls be a puzzle picture that forced fans to buy 4 vinyl copies of 1 damn album or it just looked like an incomplete shelf piece for fans.

Lastly it's just like you said most of us who dislike her don't dislike her because she's a women it's bc she's an awful person who uses x issues and people to further her own agenda and only really cares about herself and will step on anyone just to make herself look better and more of a victim. The only victim thing she has actually dealt with was her music being bought from under her BUT now she owns her own music and found a way to make it a huge cash grab for herself so she could get that billionaire status. 🤩 She needs to stop using feminism as a means to try and stop people from calling her ass out for being problematic!!!

The post anon is referring to is here, for those wondering

Anon, you are so very, very right, and I personally want to give you a round of applause: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

One thing I want to elaborate on (because I find it endlessly funny/ironic), is where you said "She was silent for years on the matter and only said something when she changed from typical southern country gal to liberal pop girlie..."

Taylor Swift was *never* a "southern country gal". She's from Pennsylvania. A big white McMansion with a swimming pool in Pennsylvania. All those old songs about summer nights in the country? The cowboy boots? Sweet Tea (referenced in an unreleased song)? Yeah, lies. She painted the image of a good ol' Tennessee princess pretty darn well, didn't she? I'll admit, she fooled me for a while on that, too. But no, she built her career on fraud from day one.

The rest of your ask I'm going to hit point by point, because it's beautiful and made my day and you deserve it.

Performative is her middle name. I about choked when she - a self proclaimed LGBTQ+ ally (side note: you don't get to just decide you're an ally, it's not that easy) - got up on stage in a known LGBTQ+ safe state to make a statement about queer rights, and somehow left queer people out of the statement. It was all "it's so hard for us as friends, family, and allies to see our loved ones face such hatred". As if being an ally is harder than being the queer person actively afraid of getting hate crimed???????? She somehow managed to center herself even when actively talking about an oppressed minority group she has nothing to do with unless she can profit off of us. And she can't even put us at the center of our own oppression. If I hadn't stripped her of her ally status before, that would have done it.

If Taylor Swift can make the impact that she does on economies, the environment, and social trends, she could absolutely speak up about human rights and make a positive change in the world. But she doesn't. Her feral mob loves to brag about how much power they have, but they/their hive mind leader never uses it for anything good. They're just her minions to go bully whoever she's decided deserves her high school mean girl nastiness next. So many artists with ⅛ the reach she does make positive change every day, and she can't be bothered to pay someone to tweet her fake support for oppressed minorities or to stand against a genocide. And it's because she cares about money above all else. Her fans accept the bare minimum of scraps, so she's able to play both sides - before it was the white supremacists and people who weren't raging bigot trash, and now it's homophobes/racists/genocide supporters and people who don't see those things as bad enough to stop supporting someone who happily aligns herself with bigots. It's pure self serving greed.

Is her music shit? Yes. Has it been shit for a while? Yes. But there's alose a lot of music I don't like, for one reason or another. I've never been a fan of "Hey There Delilah" even though it was a MAJORLY popular song. I'm not much of a fan of Maroon 5, or Post Malone, or Yungblood. But unlike those bands, if I turn on the radio at any point, I *will* hear a Taylor Swift song withing twenty minutes. And another one twenty minutes after that. Despite having her blocked/filtered on every social media possible, I see more about her than artists I actively follow the personal accounts of. That's a PROBLEM. Because it's not just that I think both she as a person and her music suck - I'd ignore her as much as I could if that were the case - it's that despite ACTIVELY trying to avoid her, I'm forcibly subjected to her shitty music and shitty actions daily. And her shitty actions aren't just annoying! As a queer person who has queer, black, and disabled friends, her bullshit actively impacts our lives. One of my disabled friends was totally blindsided by this recent "asylum" bullshit, and was so shocked and hurt because, in a different time, they would have been sent to an asylum. They're physically disabled with a degenerative condition. They would have been sent away, drugged up, and forcibly given electroshock and brain surgeries until they died/were murdered. And Taylor Swift is using that aesthetic - disabled people being exploited, abused, tortured, neglected, and murdered - to be "edgy". In turn, she's minimizing just HOW bad that abuse was. That waters down disabled history, and considering disabled people still have to fight SO hard just for basic respect, nevermind access rights and fair treatment, it's an overall thoughtless and disgusting thing for someone with so much money and access to feedback to do.

The multiple releases of albums is nothing short of a scam that her fans keep falling for. I've never in my life heard of an artist doing such a thing. Sometimes you'll get a platinum or deluxe edition if they hit a milestone with that album, which usually has 4-6 new songs and some new art/bonus pictures/a mini poster/etc inside. And that's it, that's the only "duplicate" album we got. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift will release the same album five times in one day, each with one different song and a different cover. She's actively preying on consumerism to line her already fat pockets. At least donate the money to charity! Pick an album = pick a charity? Nope, because she's incapable of not scamming her fans. Case in point: all the Eras merch that requires a masters in chemistry to wash without destroying you $60+ shirt.

She truly has such a huge victim complex that it might ACTUALLY be bigger than her ego. She's no feminist - she'll tear a woman to shreds as soon as it serves her purposes. Hell, she'll tear ANYONE apart just because she's bored. Whether it's siccing her fans on an actress for reading a script she didn't like or basic her ex (AGAIN) for the "crime" of having a mental illness, all she cares about is how other people effect her. She's incapable of compassion, yet weaponizes is and cries big white woman crocodile tears any time her conniving bullshit comes back to bite her in the ass. Then she begs for all the compassion she never shows anyone else. Hell, remember the fan that DIED at her Brazil show? Yeah, that poor girl's family had to CROWD FUND to afford to bring their daughter's *dead body* home for the funeral. Taylor Swift posted a half assed "thoughts and prayers" on her Instagram story - gone forever in 24hrs. But as soon as she gets called out for dating a known racist who gets off to abuse porn? She has every defense in the book as to why "poor little Taylor" doesn't deserve all that mean ol' accountability for her actions. And if she doesn't have the defense? Doesn't matter, her fans can - and have, and will - justify everything up to and including racist harassment, stalking, and death threats!

Genuinely, my dislike of Taylor Swift can be summed up in this: she's a shit person with shit music who uses her disgusting amount of power and money to do nothing but serve herself, regardless of who she hurts in the process. And the rest of us are forced to watch it happen because if you don't worship the chair she farted on people act like you're either stupid, a piece of shit, or both. And then those same people will go on tumblr and post "eat the rich" and "be trans, throw hands" memes as if they didn't just give $300 to a billionaire who couldn't give less of a fuck about any minority to ever exist.

Anyway, thank you again for this, anon. You cleared my skin, watered my crops, and gave me a small amount of faith in humanity back.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @captain-hen @anxieteandbiscuits @lemonzestywrites @forthewolves @king-buckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @shitouttabuck @lover-of-mine @thewolvesof1998 @heartshapedvows @jesuisici33 @hoodie-buck @wikiangela @monsterrae1 @exhuastedpigeon

thank you all! sorry it took me so long to do this <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

582,638

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only 911 at first but now i have a fringe fic and a wolfsong fic in the works

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head (eddie comes out to buck and to be supportive buck buys eddie a very gay mug)

today i live for a single drop of you (5 times buck dreams about sucking eddie's cock and 1 time he actually gets to do it)

when the violence causes silence (set after 6x10, eddie dealing with the aftermath of the lightning strike and working out how to confess his feelings)

we live and breathe words (buck finds eddie's poetry and realizes eddie is in love with him and decides to do something about it)

slowly getting sober from the taste of your skin (pwp, threesome between buck, eddie, and evil doctor buck)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do! at least, i do my best, i know sometimes i get the notification and look away and completely forget asdfghjkll, but i love responding and weeping about my gratitude

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm all of my fics have happy endings sooooo i don't have an answer for this

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ummm maybe red life might stream again because eddie and buck went through a lot of shit in that fic so i made it my mission to give them the happiest and sappiest ending possible

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have been very lucky in that i haven't

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

oh yes i do. and i suppose it's very emotional and sappy smut. i do try to balance filthy and sweet

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

never written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to me knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

me and @elvensorceress started writing a s2 rewrite where shannon lives that i absolutely adore, it's taken a bit of a backburner but it lives forever in my heart. also me and @spaceprincessem plan on writing one that im sure will be so very self-indulgent

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

gotta be buddie (though polivia from fringe is a close second)

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

im not sure. i plan on getting all of my wips done at some point and i don't really think there is one that i won't (at least not at this point)

16. What are your writing strengths?

descriptions i think. i can paint a pretty picture and definitely have flowery purple prose. and a lot of people have told me i am good at characterization which i always worry about but am glad to hear that's it's something im good at even if i doubt it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i cannot shut up. everything i write is so lengthy even when it doesn't need to be. being succinct definitely isn't my strong suit. and uhh i struggle with writing dialogue because i will get lost in the character's headspace and forget people are supposed to be talking

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i absolutely love it though i don't do it often because i get nervous about it. thankfully i have friends that i can ask if i am unsure about something and im trying to get more comfortable doing it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

supernatural

20. Favourite fic you've written?

gotta be to you i'm just a man (to me you're all i am) because i put my heart and soul into that fic and i really loved delving into the 118's dynamic and everyone's relationship with buck and creating new circumstances for eddie and buck to fall in love

no pressure tagging (and sorry if you've already been tagged) @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @bvckandeddie @colonoscopys @housewifebuck @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @paranoidbean @911onabc @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @try-set-me-on-fire @bucks118 @devirnis @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @transboybuckley @rewritetheending @eddiediaztho @callaplums

[chiyoso]

dude.

seeing other writers/mutuals who are so skilled at what they do talk about not getting support in their sfw, fluff and angst fics just piss me the fuck off, i'm genuinely so heated at the amount of old and new writers struggling because of new tumblr users

ik a lot of you readers like to read our smut fics/porn fics, but those writers, also talking abt only getting likes, instead of reblogs n interactions from those types of works as well is just so depressing that im starting to have this growing idea of what some to most readers are in tumblr

ill be the voice that other writers are hesitant and afraid to express:

REBLOGS; ARE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN A SIMPLE DOUBLE TAP DOES.

LIKES are like a quick glance for us writers.

LIKES are like people who pass by us when we walk anywhere and everywhere.

LIKING is like telling us writers who take our time to write FREE shit for you; “we see it, we like it, but we will not do anything about it”

LIKES will NOT get us writers anywhere in this app.

LIKES is like deafening SILENCE for us writers, crickets, ghosts, an eerie dark night.

LIKES arent similar to instagram, tiktok and other platforms. it is DIFFERENT in this platform. they dont mean jack shit.

LIKES are like a hit and dip shit scenario. one night stand, loveless sex, meaningless encounters.

i've seen so much amazing fics, nsfw or sfw have over almost 9k interactions, then i look to the reblogs count and see only a whopping 500 or so like THE FUCK? SCUSE ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RATIO?

if you're apart of the "ooh! i genuinely like this!" then only press like—thank you, truly. we're glad you like our work, to gain your interest and your silent support, but i want to inform you simply liking doesn't help us in a technical sense, it doesn't help our blog, our reach, it doesn't help our blog grow.

and if you're one of the blogs who only likes, i genuinely don't know what's so trifling and difficult about reblogging and adding the pre-made tags for you to spam and get it over with. i do it and its so, so fucking easy.

i genuinely, genuinely don't understand the analogy as to why you can't just... press that helpful ass button beside the heart. please, someone, enlighten me behind the reasoning.

if you're a bot, fuck you.

now, REBLOGS.

will at least (without tags/comments) be seen by your following and increase our significance only slightly.

REBLOGS with # tags INCREASE our chances of being discovered by a fuck ton.

REBLOGS with tags MIXED with your comments HEAVILY motivate us, your thoughts about our WORK motivates us.

REBLOGS are so, so fucking relieving for us, and that relief has been addictive to those starved from support, especially to writers who are struggling OUTSIDE of their work/hobby/blog.

REBLOGS in a literal sense, mean so much more to us than likes. especially with your damn thoughts. the mere thought of taking your time into writing something FOR US and OUR CREATION is so fucking motivating, every positive input from you will be CHERISHED no matter what.

and the fact we have to beg for it, to speak out about it as of late...

god, i remember in full detail the day where i wrote my first story, it had only 200 interactions max, and most of them were only likes and a few reblogs, but my inbox was full of positivity, mixed in with a few shitty ones, but i pressed on because of SAID INTERACTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR WRITING.

to my mutuals and other writers; i fucking love you and your stories so much, sfw or not, the writing community has done so much for me mentally, and lots of fics have been healing me. god its my first time releasing such emotions into this blog, but yea, ive just had it from the amount of turmoil ppl have been causing into all of you, outside tumblr or not.

hhh fuck im so pissed ill stop it right here, stay safe and may your favorite characters kiss you goodnight

[chromatic-crow]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @tetrapod7

im gonna put this under a cut cause its...a lot lmao but thanks for the tag

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

22 published and 2 waiting for reveal for fic fests. they're done so I'm counting them.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

72,623 words

3. what fandoms do you write for?

hockey only so far. dunno if that'll change for a while honestly

4. top five fics by kudos:

something unexpected

i can't let this go

doll me up in my bad luck

drippin' confidence, lose my common sense

just say the word, we'll take on the world

5. do you respond to comments?

soooo, i didnt at first cause im like. super anxious about comments in general but i do now cause i really appreciate it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhh.......i honestly dont write a lot of angsty endings but I'll be fine is mostly just angst, im a sucker for happy endings and mostly, i just never know how to end stuff so uhh idk unless you count ficlets or the ask fics, theres a bit of angst in there sometimes

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

aughhhh it's not gonna be revealed till july for a fest but of the ones published....and this ones old and im not too happy with it anymore but probably love you like a brother, love you like no other

8. do you get hate on fics?

not that I've seen luckily, won't lie, I'd probably give up writing for a bit if I did

9. do you write smut?

*stares at blog and ao3* yes. mostly for some reason. I say this like I don't know that I'm just a horny fucker on hrt lmao

10. craziest crossover:

uh...not done any

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope, would be weird if someone did honestly.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

also no.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

does a groupchat fic count even if its never left the chat? if not. no, would be fun tho

14. all time favorite ship?

oh my god i have to dig deep on this one but.......m!hawke/anders from dragon age 2 or uhh shit i can't even remember the other ones at this point so we'll stick with that i guess.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

uh. literally all of them that aren't the one I'm currently obsessed with? but if I had to choose one, maybe the royalty/wingfic that I started a while back

16. what are your writing strengths?

oh....uh....guh. okay I've been told my dialogue and characterization is good. and I'm starting to feel better about all of it but I still want to say none. mostly cause I only see the things that I could have done better but oh well.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

......yes. okay so its not like I've been writing for long (since dec) so I obviously think all of it but mostly sentence starting. I feel like I start too many sentences with 'he'. but I also don't know how to start most of them differently. also flow of story, it gets choppy sometimes when I just. can't piece it together and give up. and endings....i hate endings, I never know how to end them

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

ehhhh, I've done it once. wont do it again honestly. i mean if its a language that the writer knows i think its different but my dumbass going to gtranslate and probably getting something that isn't even accurate is a bit different lmao

19. first fandom you wrote in?

hockey rpf. first and only so far lmao

20. favorite fic you've written?

.....uhhhh probably I can't let this go, yet again. but since it's in line with my longer wip squared is up there as well

tagging with no pressure of course: @stillfertile @whatthe-puck @hauntedppgpaints idk im blanking right now, so anyone else who wants to