#im sickened with myself im going to bed

[pirojiji]

i tried to look on the internet for socialization tips and they were all scary or ridiculous or dumb or intimidating. and i kept thinking about my own unbelievable fumbles. and then i got so anxious and mad about the fact that i have anxiety i went and tweezed my eyebrows. i feel nauseous

[videoworm]

anxiety makes my brain go ouch ouch

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"stay, please" ft. the monster trio!

in which, nightmares plague them and you're the only remedy ft. luffy, zoro, sanji x fem!reader set-up: late night nightmares give way to very vulnerable boyfriends i see (i couldnt bring myself to pick sad gifs for them tho, idk use your imagination) warnings: none!! wholesome shit all day every day :) m.list

luffy:

- luffy is always a heavy sleeper - no, like quite literally - he sleeps on you like a log, unmoving until you're physically shoving him off and throwing him off the bed - so, in the dead of the night, when he pulled you closer against his chest and held you tighter, you simply assumed it was no big deal - but his hands are tightening around your waist, his breath seems laboured and as you throw him a glance over your shoulders, you see his brows furrowed together as if he was in pain - "yn, no. yn-" his voice sounds distraught, hands trembling against your figure "luffy?" you whisper, gently putting your arm over his, "luffy, hey?" - his breath seems more laboured, as if it hurts just to breathe - you were shaking him awake, "luffy, wake up, come on" - when he did, his eyes were teary and he buried his head into your hair. relief flooded his voice as he kept holding onto you, "you're okay right?" "ofcourse i am. are you?" "i-" he sneaks in a quick breath and then looks at you, "yeah" - you run your hand up and down his arm gently, other coming to rest on his cheek, "nightmare?" - he stays silent for a second, just looking at you. then he whispers, "i thought i lost you" "i'm right here" you flash him a small smile, chasing it with a small peck on his lips, "i promise" "you promise?" his features stay unmoving, still grim "i promise" you're rubbing soothing circles on his cheek - a second passes before either of you speaks up. it's him who does. - he presses his hands over yours and whispers slowly, "stay with me, please" "i wouldn't be caught dead anywhere else" - and then he's picking you up, "we're awake and im hungry so might as well-" - he made you help him raid the pantry and feed him emergency snacks to soothe him again - one of these days, sanji's gonna put a biometric scanner at the kitchen door and luffy's gonna go feral - that is your version of doomsday - what a menace i love him

zoro:

- it was a sickening routine as far as you remembered. you hated it to your very core and yet, you couldn't do anything as it played out - every once in a while, when the fates were a little too cruel, zoro would slip out of the bed, careful not to wake you up. - he'd slowly close the door behind him, stepping out onto the chilly deck - it wouldn't take you long to notice the abrupt coldness next to you where zoro should have been - and you would usually walk out and find him peering at the sea, tension etched into every muscle - your hands would wrap around his waist and you would press your face against his sculpted back. you would feel his body ease under your familiar touch, the tension fading away and leaving behind another young man "zo'" you would whisper, "'nother nightmare?" and he would just gave you a curt nod - that's how it usually went. he wouldn't elaborate, he would just hold onto you till all his worries slipped past him and then he'd carry you back to bed - he wouldn't bring it up again in the morning and it was a silent agreement that you wouldn't either - but today, his body shivered, trembling against your feather-like touches "zoro?" you're panicking, turning him to look at you, "zo' are you cry-" - he pulls you towards himself, his head on top of yours, "i thought i fuckin' lost you i-" you bury yourself against him, "i'm right here, look" "you wouldn't leave right?" his voice is gentle, "i- you'd stay by my side, right? please" - you look up at him, pressing a kiss on his cheek, "ofcourse i will. where else would i go?" he gives a small smile, "wherever you go, stay away from that shitty cook" "ah, don't worry. you can ensure that by showering for once" "oh, really?" he scoffs playfully, "only if you join me" - he carries your blushing figure into the room and you fall asleep with him tangled against you - you did take him up on the showering together offer tho, ur a slave to the temptations of the flesh it seems

sanji:

- honest to god, i believe he is the kind of guy who doesn't wake you up - but over the years, youve caught onto the pattern - it's always the days where he either sneaks off into the kitchen, saying that there's just some recipe he thought of that he needs to try or he sits in the bed, silently basking in the venomous thoughts - some nights, you feel his warmth pull away and he's sitting beside you, back against the headboard - his breath is laboured and his eyes are screwed shut as he tips his head backwards - your hand is on his knee, grounding him back to reality "sanji?" you mumble as you sit up, "you okay?" "did i wake you up?" he mumbles back with a look of concern, "im sorry, my love" - but you're already settling in between his legs, your back flush against his chest. you bring his hand and intertwine it with your own, bringing it to your lips to press a small kiss - it ends with you talking about something else to get his mind off the bullshit "what if we have like 4 moons and we don't know?" "i don't think that scientifically possible, darling" "anything's possible. never say never." - on nights you find him in the kitchen, you silently walk in there and sit on the kitchen counter, asking him what he's cooking - you entertain him with mundane bullshit as he cooks - 9/10 you fall asleep in the kitchen and he has to carry you back - cooks you the same dish later again cause while he was carrying you back, luffy stormed into the kitchen, ate whatever it was and fell asleep on the fucking kitchen floor. - sanji's considering putting a biometric scanner at the kitchen door now

m.list

[musevinnie]

ᴄᴀʙɪɴ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ - ᴠɪɴɴɪᴇ ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇʀ

Description : You and Vinnie have been best friends for a long time. The friend group decided to plan a little getaway to a cabin. And after a little game of truth or dare things come to light.

Warning: smut. p in v. unprotected sex. breeding kink. dirty talk. finishing inside. fingering

a/n- haven't proofread it

Okay Vinnie your turn, truth or dare. One of the friends, Justin called out to him. He thought for a moment and took a swing of his beer.

"You know what, hit me with it. I pick Truth." he said taking another chug of the beer.

Justin smirked to himself known what exactly he was doing. He knows Vinnie has feelings for you. So he just wants Vinnie to finally confess because he's tired of hearing; "isn't y/n so pretty", "do you think we will make a good couple", "what would our kids look like".

It was sickening.

"Okay Vinnie Boy. Name the person of the you are in love with."

Vinnie eyes widen! And you quickly turned your head and look at Vinnie.

"WHAT! You are in love with someone and haven't told me anything. I thought we told each other everything?"

Vinnie face was turning bright red and got up. "Im done playing this stupid game"

And with that Vinnie went into his room he was staying at in the cabin. Everything got quiet and the vibes went down. You quickly got up and followed Vinnie into the room where he vanished into.

You saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, You closed the door and sat down next to him. "Hey what was that about?"

Vinnie was not looking at you. "Nothing it was a stupid game and a stupid question."

He runs a hand through is hair. "I just didn't expect Justin to call me out like that okay. It's embarrassing, he knows that I love-"

You took a deep breath, you've always loved Vinnie ever since you both were in high school. You know you should be happy for him but the thought of him loving someone else breaks your heart.

You move a few curls outta his face. "Who is she?" you smiled. Still wanting to support him over anything.

Vinnie took a deep breath and looked at you. "She the girl I been in love with since high school. The same girl I think about before going to sleep and the girl I think about waking up. My best friend. The girl I see myself marrying and having kids with."

Happy tears fill your eyes and Vinnie captures your lips on his. "I love you y/n, I love you so much."

You tackled him and kissed him back making you both fall back on the bed. Vinnie smiled into the kiss. You prepped little kisses all over his face.

"I love you too Vinnie"

Vinnie moved on top of you not breaking the kiss. It started slow and passionate. Both of you feeling a rush of emotion after hiding how you both feel for each other only for you both to have the same feelings for each other.

Vinnie's hands start to roam your body. Without a second thought vinnie pulls down your skirt. You let out a moan. Vinnie lets out a chuckle and kisses you again.

"Baby you gotta be quite wouldn't want others to know how desperate you are for my cock"

You try to hold in a moan. Vinnie is just admiring and worshiping your body. In one swift move he hooks his fingers to your panties pulling them off.

He starts kissing your thighs, you letting out another moan.

"Baby, I will stop if you cant keep quiet." he teased

You bit into the sheet, getting frustrated with his teasing.

Vinnie takes off the last of your remaining clothing and kisses your stomach.

"Don't be impatient baby I'm want to worship this sexy little body of yours until you're screaming my name."

Vinnie was about to continue until he realized something.

"Shit babe I don't have a condom maybe Justin-"

You pulled him into a kiss. "And who says we need one?"

He starts attacking your neck leaving love bites and hickeys.

"Baby girl once we cross this line we wont be coming back. This means you are mine and mine alone."

In the blink of an eyes Vinnie was now fully nude too.

He starts kissing down your stomach stoping at your inner thigh. "Can't wait to taste every inch of you" Without a warning he enters to fingers into you.

"This sweet little cunt is all mine" He removes his finger and put them in your mouth.

"Vinnie stop teasing I need you now." you moan

"Such an impatient little thing aren't we? But only because you are my good girl you can have this dick now."

He positioned himself at your entrance and started rubbing the tip of his thick cock against your folds. At this point you both didn't care if the others heard you were a moaning mess.

"That's it princess take my cock like a good girl let everyone hear your pretty little moans." He praised you as he kept thrusting. He groan as he felt you clenching around him.

Your moan kept getting louder. "Baby I wont be able to hold in it any longer."

"Come for me baby girl, show me how much you love this big dick stretching out your tight little cunt."

That was your breaking point and you felt your orgasm rip through you making Vinnie follow right after.

You thought that was the end but it wasn't at least not for Vinnie. He kept going. "So pretty baby, letting me come in you. Is the thought of carrying my child getting you off?"

He picked up his pace. "Yes Vinnie, omg yes." You felt your next orgasm not too far behind.

"That's it babygirl. My good pretty girl" His thrusts were getting deeper. "Soon you'll be carrying my child no baby you will be carrying OUR child."

One final thrust and he releases his hot seed deep in you. Vinnie falls back on the bed and pulls you closer and kissing your head. Both of you feeling content and happy with what went down.

After a few minutes of coming back to earth you both are giggling and stealing a few kisses. Vinnie picking you up bride style to take you to the bathroom for a much needed bubble bath.

Until you hear a knock on the door. Only to hear Justin's voice from the other side. "Ya so can I be god father of mini vinnie or mini y/n?" he laughed.

[demonpiratehuntress]

dreams

OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader

summary - majority of your dreams seem to manifest in the real world somehow, so when you have one about your crush and your best friend...things get a little out of control.

warnings - heavy angst (im sorry), hurt to comfort

a/n: when i started writing for this fandom i PROMISED myself i would not make it all angst and no fun, but oh well :))))) idek where this idea came from, i need help

You woke up from a nap with the sickening urge to empty your stomach overboard. Nausea reared its ugly head, and before you could even try to tame the feeling, you were sprinting to the side of the ship to empty your stomach.

What exactly was the cause?

This would sound insanely ridiculous, and to you it really was, but you had a weird dream. And it didn't sit well with you. Most of the dreams you had often became a reality, albeit with slight changes. There were some that didn't, but almost all of them came true eventually or manifested in a similar way at some point.

And that's probably the reason you couldn't stop yourself from vomiting obscenely before your stunned - and confused - crew.

"(Name), are you okay?" Nami asked worriedly, coming over to you.

You flinched away from her, increasing her confusion, before turning and running off to the bathroom. She exchanged looks with the others who were out on deck - Usopp and Luffy - before shrugging it off and going back to mapping the ship's course.

The truth was, you had a completely unexpected yet maddening dream while napping, one that you prayed to any god who would listen would not come true. You had dreamed of Zoro - the man you had the biggest crush on - and Nami, which may seem an odd coupling and probably was but you couldn't control your dreams. Much like how you couldn't control how you felt about it, despite it only being a fictional idea your mind concocted.

You went straight to yours and Nami's room after cleaning yourself up, setting up the divider that separated your section from hers so you wouldn't have to deal with seeing her if she came in. Your behaviour was unfair to her, since you knew she would never do anything like that, nor did she have any romantic interest in Zoro. In fact, she barely had any interest in the swordsman at all. But according to your dream, that might change.

You curled up on your bed, pulling the blanket right up over your head to shield yourself from the real world. The familiar feeling of something wet running down your cheek informed you that you had started crying, but you couldn't care less. You couldn't move. You didn't have the energy to move, much less bring your hand up to wipe your tears away. So you just lay there, curled up in a foetal position, trying - and miserably failing - to get your mind off it.

A while later, a knock at your door caused you to jerk up in your bed, before you groaned and flopped back down.

"Go away!"

"Nami said you're sick," came Sanji's voice, "So I made you some soup. Please open the door."

You breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't either of the two people you were currently trying to avoid. Slowly dragging yourself out of bed, you had to make even more effort to get yourself to the door. Forgetting that you had just been crying, you opened it and let the cook in, confused when his expression immediately grew alarmed.

"(Name), why are you crying??" He immediately set the soup down and pulled you into a comforting hug - one that seemed to be much warmer than usual right now.

"I-I'm fine," you mumbled into his shoulder, "Just not well."

He nodded, falling for your excuse, before pulling away to hand you the soup, "Here, this should help. If you need more, or if you need anything else, just let me know." He smiled at you, before leaving you alone once again.

You sat back down on your bed and ate the soup - because who can say no to Sanji's cooking, even if you're not really in the mood to eat? And it did help, the warmth helping to settle your queasy stomach and alleviate the nausea if only a little bit. Minutes after you finished it, there was another knock and you frowned, wondering who it was now.

You didn't answer, in fear of it being Zoro.

Just the thought of Zoro had you replaying that dream all over again, and before you could stop yourself or at least soften the sound, sobs were wracking your body and you were burying your face in your hands, crying into their warmth.

The door opened and a familiar set of heavy footsteps reached your ears before the bed dipped beside you. Your entire body froze up, tensing at the arrival of the green-haired swordsman. Your sobs fell silent, hiccups replacing them as you stilled and tried your best to quell your sadness - still keeping your face hidden.

"What happened?" Came that usually-comforting deep voice you loved so much, but that now caused your nausea to return. "What's wrong, (Name)?"

"Please go away," you found yourself speaking, not wanting to push him away but knowing you'd feel even more ridiculous if he found out how you felt about him while you were recounting a silly dream.

"No."

Usually the swordsman would leave without a word if you asked for space, or if you told him to go away, but this time he could see you were absolutely not okay and you needed someone. Luffy wouldn't be a good idea, Usopp wouldn't know what to do, and you seemed to be avoiding Nami. And he sure as hell did not want that stupid cook anywhere near you right now, in fear of him comforting you so well that the swordsman would lose you to him entirely.

You didn't respond to that, so Zoro brought his hands up to slowly and gently peel yours away from your face. You let him, shocking yourself, and the sight of your bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face caused his heart to constrict painfully.

"Tell me what's wrong."

He held your hands in his own, not wanting to let go. He had waited so long to be able to hold them, and he was glad for this excuse to. But he was heartbroken seeing you so upset and apparently sick over something he didn't know about yet. He gently squeezed your hands, silently encouraging you to speak. He wasn't good with words, but if comfort was what you needed he would do and say whatever he could to make your pain go away.

"It's you and Nami."

He stiffened. He didn't know what that meant, but just hearing he was part of the reason you were so upset made his heart sink.

"What did we do?"

"It's...um...it's silly," you replied quietly, voice low but pain still evident. "It doesn't matter." You tried pulling your hands away, but Zoro only gripped them tighter.

"It does, if it's making you this upset."

Reluctantly, you relayed to him what you had dreamed about, voice cracking halfway through as more tears fell. You felt even sillier saying it to someone else, especially him, and avoided making eye-contact throughout the entire explanation. When you finished, you shot him a small, brief glance - only to do a double take when you saw the absolutely horrified and disgusted look on his face.

"Me and the thief?" He questioned, distaste clear in his tone. "You've got to be kidding me." He sighed, sneakily shifting closer to you on the bed. "That can't be possible."

"But-"

"Some of your dreams don't come true," he reminded you, "This is definitely one of those. You want to know how I know?"

You nodded slowly, biting your lip.

You did not expect his next words.

"Because I already dream about doing that with you."

Your jaw dropped. If you were like Luffy, it would have probably dropped all the way to the floor, you were so stunned by his confession. Your formerly slowed heartbeat picked up speed again, heat filling your cheeks as you processed his words.

"Me?"

"Mhm. Only you. Been a recurring dream, actually."

As you stuttered out an incomplete sentence and then stammered through some nonsense, Zoro leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against yours, locking you in a slow but sweet kiss. His lips were warm and soft, inviting you to lean into him and return the kiss. The affectionate gesture had butterflies blooming in your stomach.

"I'm sorry," you whispered once you remembered how to speak.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before pulling you into a warm, comforting and secure embrace.

You sat like that quietly for a while, Zoro rubbing soothing circles onto your back while you clung to him, face buried in his neck. He kissed the top of your head every few minutes, in between mumbling sweet words of comfort into your ear - mainly "you're beautiful" and "i'm yours" because he didn't know what else to say. But it was enough for you.

Eventually, he spoke up.

"You should clear things up with Nami. She's upset because you're not talking to her."

"I know...later."

He chuckled and tightened his grip on you, keeping you warm and increasingly happy in his strong arms. He didn't intend on letting go, but that was good because you didn't want him to.

BONUS:

"STUPID MOSSHEAD!"

Loud banging and clanging jerked you awake the morning after your confessions, the sound of Sanji's loud exclamation having woken you - but not Zoro - up. He probably had woken up the others as well.

You tried to get up to see what was wrong, but Zoro refused to let go. He was still sleeping, but his arms wound around you even tighter, pulling you back against him. You sighed, knowing you could ask someone else later anyway.

Nami poked her head around the divider and smirked, "He's upset that Zoro finally confessed and ruined his chance to woo you."

You laughed at that, "Give him an hour, max. Then he'll try to woo you."

She groaned, "I'm already dreading it."

The two of you laughed, and it felt good to be back on speaking terms with her. Even though, strictly speaking, you hadn't had a reason not to be in the first place. But oh well.

The power of dreams...

[saspitite]

shrimp dash shrimp dash shrimp dash. the shrimp dash is filled with drama the girls are fightinggggg

2 notes

🪷 lifeisabluedream Follow

unfriendly fucking reminder that dwarf shrimp matter too. we're constantly picked on by big fish and it sickens me just watching larger shrimp species brag about how much fucking space they take up in the ocean. you've never struggled a day in your life.

🧛🏿 vampiyah-foreva Follow

🫵 tiny neocariBitch alert

264 notes

🦨 cleaner-supremacy Follow

shrelfie posting on main yessirrrrr 😋😋😋

#face reveal #UGH im so iconic honestly #haha oops you can kinda see my pleopods here a little... oh im sooo dirty

12,395 notes

🎍 bambooboy22 Follow

i swear to god i'm gonna lose it. guys. @/cleaner-supremacy is a literal fucking pro-fish bowl, anti-filter feeding, pro-shell collecting piece of shrimp trash and i'm tired of seeing that whore's mediocre posts blow up all the time. it's literally because she has an OnlyPrawns isn't it???

🌸 artemia-naupliixx Follow

wtf did i miss where shell collecting suddenly became controversial

🪨 algaescraper Follow

btw op literally also follows cleaner supremacy's onlyprawns lmfao

🎍 bambooboy22 Follow

I DO NOT

1,006 notes

🐚 sexybluegalzzz Follow

are there any other blue dream cherries on Tumblr??? i need more friends soooo badly!

🪻 tempura-gore

haiiii :3

🐚 sexybluegalzzz Follow

ew nvm i just checked your profile and you're super low grade. girl can you even CALL yourself blue???

🪻 tempura-gore

ok. i made your mom's balls go blue last night in bed

455,398 notes

🌈 manty-ourimp Follow

aheehee. guysss is anyone going to the pride festival happening at the pink coral reef... i want to meet some new shimps like myself :3

🫧 bubblesky Follow

you are literally a mantis shrimp... who EATS shrimp. guys please watch out

🌈 manty-ourimp Follow

im a shrimp like you guys :(

🫧 bubblesky Follow

youre literally a STOMATOPOD

💀 prawngenderism-deactivated20110621

dont listen to them im going !! i cant wait to meet you, you seem so nice :D

🌈 manty-ourimp Follow

yayyyyy :)

🪸 an3mone-the-magn1ficent Follow

uhm guys. they deactivated

🌊 brinydeepsea Follow

oh shit oh fuck

🌊 brinydeepsea Follow

@/manty-ourimp WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO

🌈 manty-ourimp Follow

mmmg crumchy

22 notes

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

|•♡•♡{Welcome pick your man!}♡•♡•|

|•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡.{Number 7}.♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•|

period pains

{♡} requested

- Period comfort with Alphonse!

cuddle pile

{♡} requested

- Alphonse is soft for Seth and Boo cuddling on the couch. Which turns into a cuddle pile on the bed.

Faded pictures

{♡} requested

- Boo found alphonses baby pics now he found theirs :D ft Seth

bibically accurate Boo

{♡} ask

- The boys see Boo cursing a bloodline.

lyric

{♡} ask

- *falls to my knees* AAAHHH

Why did Boo move?

{♡} ask

- idea for Boo

cat

{♡} ask

- if Alphonse turned into a cat

Genderbend?

{♡} personal

- he'd def look like his mama

speed demon

{♡} personal

- Boo isn't allowed to drive alone

nightmares

{♡} personal

- nightmares of what did happen before it got reversed.

song

{♡} personal

- IF YOU WANNA GOOODD TIIMMEEE WELL HERE I AM BABY-

sitting down sadly

{♡} personal

- really wishes you meet them. Or let them see Seth became better.

get the fuck out

{♡} personal

- Boo is protective and Alphonse wouldn't want anything else.

Incorrect Quotes:

given no fucks

magical in bed

Arm Wrestling Champ!

{♡} requested

- Can't beat a beefy guy in a arm wrestle so what does Boo do? Kiss him!

not the worst thing I've been called

{♡} ask

- Boo's been called worst. Seth still cringes at that-

Seth's relationship with Boo and Alphonse

{♡} personal

- He still can't belive they give a shit about him after everything.

Daisy dukes

{♡} personal

- he got the ass for them

Family

{♡} personal

- the wonders of do I have a family out there? Would they accept me?

Incorrect Quotes:

FURRY!!

Anger issues

{♡} requested

- Charlie with a Casper that has anger issues.

crying rn

{♡} ask

- full on sobbing for him ngl

Casper as a music artist

{♡} ask

- Casper making love songs inspired by Charlie

fire

{♡} personal

- lil arson never hurt anybody

Charlie and Casper's relationship

{♡} personal

- Charlie thought he'd end up in a ditch. Not in loving arms.

if married

{♡} personal

- *blows off dust* now for my vows-

Casper the weed dealer ghost

{♡} personal

- Ik the weed dealer it's my partner <33

Incorrect Quotes:

wanna join?~

wasn't made for

Incorrect Quotes:

Keeping it civil

pondered my orb

make him pregnant

not sane <;/3

gonna tweak

Autistic Star

{♡} requested

relationship worries

{♡} personal

- he worries a lot. Of being valuable with his heart.

kinnie moment

{♡} personal

- he was SO a undertale fan.

really need my mom (big ass post ngl)

{♡} personal

- ow angst that I hurt myself with

Incorrect Quotes:

going to far?

Mario cart

nefted height

Lovey Dovey Auron

{♡} requested

- he's so in love it's sickening

Rook loves dancing

{♡} requested

- What if Rook loved dancing? HC's

Nightmares

{♡} personal

- Auron has worries, of if hed be able to protect them.

mentally stable? naw

{♡} personal

- if ur my fav I torture u

beware of the pipeline

{♡} personal

- THE PIPELINE!?!?

receptionist Rook

{♡} personal

- let's be honest Trish would love to have Rook as a receptionist like Rook.

Loving Auron

{♡} personal

- when a writer loves you, you never truly die.

Auron and Rook's relationship

{♡} personal

- Auron is so scared of this, but he can't stop loving them.

love poem book

{♡} personal

- He'd write a thousand poems and sit by then as they read every single one.

AURONS BACKSHOTS

{♡} personal

- the holy backshot post

rambling of Auron's story

{♡} personal

- deep dive into Auron's story

HIS HAIRR

{♡} personal

- RIDHFJSJXJE IM GONNA RRRAAWWRR GGRR BAKRABRJA JD S

Incorrect Quotes:

pleeassse?

experience

how Rook came to his heart

HC's!!

{♡} requested

- Lucien things bc I love him

misunderstanding

{♡} requested

- Boo sees them connecting again. Maybe they should leave....

Southern Stars

{♡} reblog

- from a moot who also love Southern Stars!

Seth and Al song

{♡} ask

- more about lyric below

Bittersweet Boo idea

{♡} ask

- Boo calling their parent in a park after everything

Boo's parent ask

{♡} ask

- an idea of Boo's parents

Bittersweet HP houses

{♡} ask

- Harry Potter houses!

Wild flowers

{♡} ask

- Moot asks me what I think of Wild flowers! Aka Seth x Finn

Middle ground dynamic

{♡} personal

- Darling and Auron are guard dogs for Finn basically

Southern Stars with creep

{♡} personal

- Faust internally: God I'm gonna FUCK you...

Wildflowers puppy love

{♡} personal

- Aawweee puppy loovvee

Bittersweet rant

{♡} personal

- Seth and Alphonse are soulmates. Platonic or romantic they are connected.

More bittersweet thoughts

{♡} personal

- more bittersweet thoughts bc I love them

Middle Ground argument

{♡} personal

- Darling and Ahron argue in the back ALL the time

flaasshhbaacckk

{♡} personal

- Alphonse gonna go through it ngl

dont cry dont cry dont cry

{♡} personal hc

- Auron and Faust hate crying in front of people.

middle ground + Faust

{♡} personal

- Faust: that WHORE!

trio

{♡} personal

- Trio of weed. Casper, Pete, and Boo

Seth and Al lyric

{♡} personal

- hey man I love you but NO FUCKING WAY

TRAMP STAMPS!!

{♡} personal

- teehee tramp stamps on the boys

tattoos

{♡} personal

- tattoos for some of the boys

Listeners tattoo idea

{♡} personal

- tattoos for all the listeners :D

Seth x Alphonse City arch

{♡} personal work

- What did happen that night when Alphonse left?

YV boy's and their listeners

{♡} personal work

- Rambles about yv relationships.

Southern stars!!

{♡} personal

- Seth x Faust type shit I love the your honor

The kids love Boo

{♡} personal

- Boo watches over the kids.

Married in Vegas

{♡} personal work

- got married in Vagas and it bites them in the ass later. With Boo, Casper and Rook.

Demigod Au

{♡} personal

- make the listeners op.

Middle ground how Auron got into the realationship

{♡} personal work

- Auron x Darling x Finn how did it all began?

help make a canvas!

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- All the boys helping make a canvas!

Incorrect Quotes (dosent apply to one YV boy):

Explanation plz

YV as quotes from me and my friend

communication of middle ground

Mario cart with listeners

ALPHONSE!!

nvm no plan

GET ON YOUR KNEES!!

know each other in every universe

mosquitoes suck

sugar free haribo gummy bears

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[notmyprey]

Pt 2 of this

I sit there crying for a while. I can feel Clair shaking inside my stomach. She's probably crying, too, but I can't hear her over my own sobs.

Soon, my tears devolve into sniffles, and I hear her muffled sniffling as well. I instinctively rub my hand against the sheets on my bed, trying to find a way to calm myself down.

Soon, my heart settles, and I take a moment to try to understand what is happening. Clair is, somehow, inside my stomach, that I know for certain. I also know that she is smaller than me, decently smaller, but even then, she isn't small enough for me to swallow. It, by all means, does not make sense.

As I think about the situation at hand, another thought crosses my mind. Is this a dream? It can't be. Everything feels too real. But, even knowing that, I still find myself using a technique I read that helps differentiate dreams from reality.

I look at a poster, read the words, look away, and then look back to see if they change. Of course, they didn't change.

I sigh, I just can't wrap my head around anything right now. My brain feels foggy, probably from all the crying I was doing.

I hear and feel a small gurgle come from my stomach, forcing me to look down.

It is so strange. Little parts of my stomach jut out in weird ways, each bump seeming to move constantly. But the weirdest part is that Clair is right there. Right under my skin. If I just reach out with my hand, I will be able to feel her, not only inside me but also with my hand.

Without thinking, and without the panic and guilt I was feeling earlier, I put my hand on top of where Clairs head was under my skin.

My touch makes her squirm a bit, almost as if she is trying to move away from me. It is a sensation that I never thought I would feel. What was sickening only moments ago now feels like butterflies, not unlike the feeling you feel when near someone you care for, and with each touch, one flutters.

She shifts again, and I cant help but smile. I now find that I am starting to feel better, almost happy, about the situation at hand. Yes, it feels strange still. But it's starting to be in less of a bad way. I am perfectly full, making me tired. The only person that I truly care for is here, right under my skin. Maybe I can let myself be happy about this. It's peaceful, and I couldn't be more grateful to have Clair so close.

That is until I hear her start to cry again, and I quickly discard any ounce of joy I have been getting from this. My heart breaks all over again, this time, though, from the fact I had decided to disregard her feelings so quickly. How could I be so mean? She obviously isn't enjoying this, and I shouldn't either.

I remove my hand, "I'm sorry." I wisper, a new guilt festering.

"Can you try again, p-please?" Clair said through tears.

I don't waste any time and quickly begin heaving, trying to force her into my throat. Again, nothing happens except for Clair being smashed even more than she is already.

I can't think of what to say. She doesn't want to be here. I can't just tell her that I can't get her out, I can't disappoint her like that. But I also can't just lie, get her hopes up, and break her all over again.

"Clair?" I bring my hand up, wanting to hold her even closer, but decide against it, and place my hand back down.

I hear another sniffle and a quick shove, followed by Clair moving around. Quickly though, she stops and asks in a defeated tone, "You can't get me out still, can you?"

"Im sorry. I-I promise I didn't mean to do this. I dont even know how you ended up..." I pause, staring down at my stomach, "in here..." I trail off, ashamed.

Clair stiffens, her only movement being her breathing. "You dont remember what you did? You dont remember going bat shit and scarfing me down?" She spat, her voice low and icy.

"No, I-I dont..."

"The fuck you dont." I feel a sharp pain, any it quickly registers that Clair had kicked me. "I dont- I dont understand why. I just- I'm supposed to be your friend, and I thought... I thought..." Slowly, her anger turns into sadness once more.

"Clair," I say, my voice breaking, "please. You have to believe me. I don't remember-"

I feel another sharp kick, this one aimed at my lungs, knocking the wind out of me. "I dont need to believe you." She asserts, hurt seeping into her voice.

"Clair, I can't get you out. Please, I promise I tried. I don't want you to be here. I didn't want this..." My tears drip down on top of my stomach with a gentle splatt, then drip downward.

"I just want out. I hate it... Please... Please.."

[totallyexhausted]

In the End, I'm Still a Loser (Snippet)

Basically holding myself accountable for doing some writing after a year and a half of silence. This is a sickfic with Kagi getting wrecked - it's definitely still in progress and rough so fyi (im sorry); im also working on that Hirano sickfic with his parents (there's this fight scene that im just *chef's kiss*). Anyway... please give me motivation Writing Gods!!

......

If Kagiura were being honest, he knew he should have taken Hirano’s advice this morning and stayed at the dorms… but their first game was in two weeks, and given the teenager had just made Starter, Kagiura didn’t want to ruin his chances the rest of the season by missing practice. He should have seen it coming, really. After all, he’d exhausted himself over the last few weeks with cramming, practice, and stressing over what would happen if he wasn’t roommates with Hirano the following term. The temperature change, going from hot to freezing, hadn’t helped anything either… thus, the ever-knowing fact, blessed by big tonsils, that Kagiura got sick easily.

So, the cough that slowly built until he sounded like he smoked and the sore throat that hurt every time he swallowed, wasn’t surprising. The headache, fever and nausea, was. And then this morning, he just had to go and prove he was okay, to a roommate who seemed to know everything, and drag himself out of bed.

Morning practice wasn’t as bad as Kagiura originally thought it’d be. The brisk air felt nice against his skin as they were forced to run laps in order to “wake up” for the practice game later. And with running, Kagiura could pretty much zone out and daydream. So, morning practice wasn’t bad. Running into Hirano several times in the hallway, dodging the older’s concerned glances, wasn’t bad. Hell, even classes weren’t that bad… despite the fact that Niibashi harassed him to see the nurse, and the 16-year-old fell asleep during two separate lectures. The practice game after school, however, took a severe left turn.

Kagiura had done well for the first 15 minutes… but as it turned out, 15 minutes was all his body was willing to give. He started stumbling, throwing crappy passes, wincing every time someone yelled too loud or feeling nauseous every time someone shoved into him. Even worse, he started missing shots. His teammates kept giving him weird looks, but it wasn’t until he tripped over his own two feet, slamming into the pole when someone accidentally nudged him too hard, that the Coach pulled him out and demanded he run laps the rest of the game. It was humiliating, and if anyone had any doubts about Kagiura being selected as a Starter for the upcoming game; the teenager had sure as hell fanned the flames, so to speak.

By the time the game was called, it’d started raining, and the 16-year-old was pretty sure he was going in for a rough night. His headache had traveled across his nose and cheekbones, making the nausea and lightheadedness worse. His throat hurt to swallow, let alone, talk, and despite being an athlete, he was out of breath – which only brought about further coughing. And to top it all off, Kagiura was pretty sure he had a fucking fever because he felt hot and sweaty despite the cold air surrounding him. All-in-all, he really should have taken Hirano’s advice.

The 16-year-old groaned as he glanced up slowly as the Announcer called the next train. He really wanted to get back to the dorms and sleep off whatever the hell was wrong with him… and if any luck, he’ll feel better tomorrow – and maybe listen to Hirano this time and skip school. It was a simple enough task, getting back to the dorms. But the rain and freezing cold had made it harder, and the dizziness that faded in and out every couple of minutes, sickening. Passing out or puking again would make venturing back to the dorms so much more difficult.

Walking up the stairs to the station fucking sucked, and Kagiura still had another 15 minutes of walking before he reached the dorms. What a pain. The teenager swallowed, running hand through his sweaty hair before standing as a train approached. He stumbled slightly, closing his eyes as the it sped past before sitting back down slowly. The station tipped, and the 16-year-old pressed his forehead against his folded forearms, waiting for the dizziness to subside. Shit. He couldn’t even watch the train go by without getting dizzy. Was that even his train? What station was he even at anyway?

            He took a deep breath, coughing several times into the sleeve of his coat as he heard the train leave. This really sucked. He hadn’t felt this bad earlier; sure, he felt sick, but it wasn’t this bad… then again, he had pushed himself through the day, not to mention the last few weeks because he didn’t want a new roommate. He wanted another year, one more year, with Hirano, as his roommate. One more year to convince Hirano that the teenager loved him, that they could date. One more year for the 16-year-old to get the older to fall in love with him. One more year for Hirano to think about Kagiura’s confession. One more year. That’s all he needed; that’s all he wanted. One more year with Hirano. How selfish…

            Kagiura flinched as his phone vibrated in his pocket, swallowing lightly as he pulled the device, smiling softly as his roommate’s name flashed across the screen. Despite how shitty he felt right now, the older always made it better. He always made the younger happy, even seeing him, even saying his name… made everything better.

            “H-hello?”

            The 16-year-old grimaced as his voice came out gruff and hoarse. He could barely freaking talk and the damn cough drops he’d been going through the last couple of days had done nothing. He cleared his throat carefully, resisting the urge to cough as Hirano’s voice bled through the speaker, “Kagiura! Where the hell are you? It’s almost curfew!”

            “What? I-”

            Kagiura glanced up quickly, pulling the phone away as he coughed several times before scrubbing at his eyes as he waited for his vision to clear. Almost curfew!? He’d closed his eyes for a few minutes, sure… but hours? The teenager groaned loudly as he glanced at the clock on the wall. Fuck. Hirano was right, it was almost curfew. Kagiura had fallen asleep at the freaking station. Which station again?

            “Kagiura?”

             The 16-year-old jerked his head towards the phone again, trying to clear his throat as a shiver ran through him. Thunder clapped outside, and Kagiura glanced down at his shoes, scuff marks tearing across once white shoes. He still felt like shit, and sleeping had done nothing to ease his headache or stomach…

            “Are you okay?

            Kagiura winced as Hirano’s met him, low and soft… gentle. It was comforting really. And the teenager wanted nothing but to crawl into that comfort right now… to be surrounded by it. He paused momentarily, sneezing, before inhaling slowly, “H-Hirano?”

            “Kagiura, what’s wrong? Your voice is rough as hell. You okay?”

            All that concern. All that worry. It was overwhelming. It was familiar, warm and safe… and it made Kagiura’s heart race. He drew in another slow breath, his voice cracking halfway through, “Hirano… could you come get me? I-I mean, walk back to the- the dorms with me?”

            Silence filled the other end, and the teenager scrubbed his eyes again, realizing tears were forming. God, he was fucking exhausted. He felt miserable… and to make matters worse, he was getting emotional. He always got emotional when he was overly tired. Kagiura already had a hard time getting Hirano to see him as his equal, and now, now he was going to see the 16-year-old as a child again – all Kagiura’s hard work undone by some stupid illness.

            “Where are you, Kagi-kun?”

            Kagi-kun. The familiar nickname the younger had come to love. The nickname reserved for Hirano’s lips only… one that made the younger special to the 17-year-old. One that almost claimed him. Kagiura wiped his face again as he kept his gaze down, his head resting against his forearm again as a train came to a loud halt and noisy passengers exited.

            “The station,” the teenager coughed in his elbow again before clearing his throat as Hirano sighed, “Okay… I need more information, idiot. Which station?”

            The Announcer blared overhead as the doors on the train closed, the lights flickering as rain started pelting against the windows. Kagiura glanced up, meeting several pairs of passing strangers, each giving him a worried look. Shit. Did he really look that bad? His face was probably red from leaning down, and he was definitely sweating… he probably still had tears in his eyes so that most likely didn’t help. He was a mess… Hirano was going to see him… like… this…

            “Hirano, actually, I-”

            The Announcer blared over the speaker as the train left slowly, and Kagiura turned his attention back towards the phone as Hirano called his name, “Nevermind, Kagiura, I heard. I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?”

…………

[acourtofthought]

im all for lucien getting a happy ending. but can he please have it with someone else instead of elain bcs i cant stand her. the way she treats nesta after all nesta had done for her was sickening. lucien deserves better

You may have stumbled on the wrong blog here because I'm a fan of Elain which I think should be extremely apparent by my posts.

I think the sisters have a complicated relationship. They all have fallen into these assumptions about who the other is and as a result, their actions have reflected that, sometimes to the detriment of one another.

Nesta did look out for Elain in her own way but I'm not really sure what you feel she did for Elain that Elain somehow owed her the stars and the moon in return.

Nesta looked out for Elain because she thought Elain was incapable of doing it herself. While there is love in that, there is also the belittling of Elain's character as a result.

How should Elain have repaid her? Why did she owe her anything?

"Thank you so much for looking out for me because you thought I wasn't capable of doing it for myself! Let me kiss your feet and worship you!"

As far as ACOFAS and SF, Elain couldn't be there for Nesta because Nesta wouldn't allow it:

Also, does that sound like Elain is really recovered? So where was Nesta when it's clear Elain isn't fine?

And I'm not saying Nesta wasn't deserving to go off on her own and try to think through what she wanted, she absolutely was. Nor do I think Nesta should have put her emotions aside to comfort Elain, I wouldn't have expected that of her either. But let's not place blame on Elain for not chasing Nesta down when it's obvious Elain isn't actually in a good place. Remember, she lost their father too and we never saw her have the chance to grieve that. Her father who she, out of the three sisters, actually loved.

(despite Nesta shutting her out, Elain still was the only person to get her a gift. A thoughtful one at that).

(yes, what sister wouldn't feel honored knowing her older sister thought this of her? Elain should be bending over backwards for Nesta!)

Also, lines like the one that follows are not how Elain feels but Nesta's own opinion of herself, which is half of what SF is. Nesta assuming what everyone else thinks. If you as a reader can't understand the difference between Nesta's hatred of the world clouding her thoughts versus what the other characters actually think than it's obvious why it's as if we've read two different books.

You know why Elain didn't come near Nesta? Because she KNOWS Nesta wouldn't welcome her embrace. And why should Elain have had to go to a bar, in a place that she's uncomfortable? Nesta chose to avoid going to Feyre's to see Elain because she was uncomfortable there and only showed up to get money even though Elain said she wanted her there and actually extended an invite.

Nesta never invited Elain to spend time with her at a bar and instead told her she didn't want to do anything with her. And regardless, Feyre and Nesta are having a conversation about what Elain would or wouldn't do when neither of them bothered to actually ask Elain about it.

Nesta never once told Elain, "I want you to visit me" to which Elain refused.

Again, the sisters relationships are complicated and I'm not going to fault Elain when Nesta wasn't capable of asking for what she needed and the one thing she insisted upon (space) is what Elain gave her. After her first "recovery", Elain was officially rejected by Graysen, had to stab a man, was kidnapped a second time and lost her father and Nesta then turned her back on Elain. But we're really going to focus on how Elain owed Nesta something during the aftermath of that? I honestly don't feel Elain owed Nesta when she herself never asked Nesta for anything (except to allow Feyre to use the manor for the Queens meeting). She didn't asked Nesta to sit by her bed (really difficult right? All Nesta had to do was read books which she loved), she didn't ask Nesta to protect her, she didn't ask Nesta to get revenge on that girl at the ball. Nesta did those things because she wanted to, because she felt Elain couldn't.

Nesta was the older sister yet could not communicate in a mature and healthy way. And while that's something she's made leaps and bounds with in SF, I'm not going to hold it over any characters head that they weren't better able to play therapist to her and figure out what she needed when Nesta didn't know herself and chose to push everyone away. It's great that Cassian was fine "holding out his hand" over and over despite how she acted towards him until he got through to her but no one should honestly be expected to sacrifice their own mental health by having to do that. Truthfully, he may have only done it because they were Mates which is why I sort of wish they hadn't been, so we weren't left with that doubt as to why he stuck around.

Also, since when does how the sisters treat one another influence their worth as to being in a relationship? I think most could agree none of the sisters should have been given a Mate if that were the case.

I suggest you really look back over the book and read what SJM has written about Elain and Lucien as individuals and see why they were made Mates. Their compatability pretty much slaps you in the face when you don't have your "I hate this character!" blinders firmly in place.

I'm sure you're an adorable one but you're still a troll with this Anon because you've got to know you were baiting me with it. Which is kind of sad, that this is how you felt you wanted to start your day (and someone else's day off).

[againstme]

for real how am i supposed to function and clean and pack and do laundry when i can’t stop thinking about sh like it never goes away and it’s eating me alive right now.

like i can feel the time bomb in my chest ready to go off at any moment i feel the sickening sweetness of a relapse it’s horrible and i can’t get rid of it. i want my brain to stop.

screaming at the top of my lungs. we need better harm reduction for sh.

i have to leave in 2 days. im so stressed but i just lay in my bed waiting for this feeling to go away and no matter how i distract myself it always comes back. fuck.

[elladorathegreat]

The big black cat

Sometimes the big black cat comes and sits on you constantly. Your subconscious is screaming at you to get up and do something but you cant move.

It’s like someone you love telling you to put your hand on a hot stove but you know you physically can’t.

It’s like trying desperately to light your favourite candle and keep the fire burning but the wick is at its end.

You sit and you wait for the inspiration and motivation to come to you and get you going again yet even when it does it doesn’t last long.

You look at everyone else in your life and wish, constantly comparing.

And the guilt hits, hits hard, but you, you shouldn’t be wishing this. your life is fine other people have it way worse, why are you complaining about them they are trying their hardest, why aren’t you doing your work your going to fail why aren’t you getting out of bed?! no! I don’t care if your tired! I don’t care if you’re hurting! You’re going to fail! You need to get the fuck up! Get up! GET UP! GET THE FUCK UP!

I cant.

I cant get up.

I’m stuck.

Im stuck sitting there and staring at the work my mind blank and my body willing to but making no progress to move and try do it, the need to distract myself instead with mind numbing activities.

I cant think. I cant read. I cant work. I can bleed.

I bled.

I used to paint.

I painted a beautiful shade of red that would dot my skin in beautiful lines that painted my pain into this gorgeous piece of existence. my pain, wasn’t only mental anymore. The artwork I no longer create and yet, sometimes I wish I could take out that silver paintbrush and start anew without feeling the dark, sickening feeling of guilt climbing up my throat and spewing out my mouth in the sound of sobs and screams while the thoughts of people, people I love who may not understand stream through my head pushing me to a halt.

I cant paint anymore.

And yet when the cat gets nudged and it begins to stir you start panicking. It cant move now. Not after everything it’s put me through. That would mean It’s all for nothing. It needs to stay. So you begin to find an odd sense of comfort within being with the cat, and the suffocation starts to feel like home.

[asbestieos]

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍

[ireland-creates]

Why are so many writers traumatized? Anyway! No im not taking constructive criticism at this time. TW: Violence, Trauma responses, Swears, First person

"Why can't you just be a normal f:üç:ķ|ņğ kid and just do what you're told!" She shouts as her grip on my throat loosens and drops and I reach for my neck feeling the sting of the marks left by her nails "I'm sorry" I rasp out looking down to the floor with tears pricking at my eyes daring to fall. I drink down the lump in my throat trying to dull the ache and with that the tears dry and my mother scoffs and turns away to go out for a §møke. I lift my eyes just enough to see her dissappear out the door with a slam of the screen and I huff to myself before straightening myself out and continue to get ready for school as fast as possible forgetting the lunch I had started to make for myself behind. "I hope she chokes" I hiss to myself as I slam the rest of my cŕªp into my bag and leave 45 minutes early for the bus.

-

The last bell of the day rings and I dread standing up to get on the bus home but remembering what happened last time I inconvenienced my mother like that I know better than to come home late again. "See you tomorrow ____!" I hear my friends say as they wave bye to me while walking out the door, I smile and wave back knowing they're just smiling and being civil because the marks left from this morning are noticeable enough to make people force themselves to be nice to me. "What fakes." I whisper to myself as I begrudgingly pick myself up from my desk gathering my stuff together and taking it out to my locker just to throw it all in there half-heartedly knowing its probably safer in the mess of my locker than anywhere near the tyranny my mothers about to wreck the moment I steo through the door today. I hurry my way through the crowded halls cursing to myself for not getting up sooner to make it through the bell rush with ease instead of getting stuck behind slow walkers and the western barbies and kens laughing at each-others barely put together jokes that I bet you anything they don't even understand themselves.

"Just f:ūć:ķıñ'ģ move" I hiss as I try to break through the slow group infront of me blocking me from getting down the stairs and out the door quicker. I notice one of the girls glance at me and I smile and nod towards her and she tries to open a path throught the group for me suddenly smiling as well and I step through thanking her and dropping my smile the moment I turn my face away "god this place is annoying" i mumble to myself and half jog to the bus stop and force my way through to the front where the bus normally stops. The bus pulls up the moment I stop and I climb up the gloomy grey steps and watch as the other striking yellow busses pull up as well "perfect" I say as I drop down onto the bus seat close to the front realizing that the bus ramp is going to be busy when we have to go to switch earning a tired sigh as my usual bus buddy sits next to me and pulls out her book. 'At least she's quiet' I think to myself and I lean against the wall and look out the window ready to zone out for the bus ride home.

-

I make it home and toss my shoes off and notice that my moms sickening presence isn't nearby and I take the chance to try and sneak off into my room so we can miss eachother and I can just shut myself into my room for the night knowing she won't make dinner or do anything but watch her stupid TV shows the rest of the night until she goes to bed. I pick my shoes up and quietly make my way to my room missing every creak and groan in the floor having memorized them by now and quietly closing the door. I let out the breath I was holding and I listen as my siblings come through the door making as much noise as humanly possible, loudly making their way into their respective rooms completely ignoring me and my room.

I look around my dark room and leave the light off as I lay on my bed and breathe slowly taking mind of my breathing otherwise I might start to cry. I feel the crushing pain in my heart chest and shoulders start to lift and I close my eyes clutching onto my blankets and going onto my phone to read something online to try and pretend im there and not in my bed half tempted to cry for hours on end.

-

A crash from the main room of the house wakes me up and I sit up in bed, startled. I look around and find my phone in the bedding and try to turn it on for a flashlight but no response to me pressing the buttons. I sigh and toss my phone on the bed realizing that the battery is dead, I get off my bed and look around my room and step through the mountains of garbage laundry and old toys "god I need to clean this place" i say knowing full well I wont do anything about it. I place my hand on my door knob and feel the pain in my heart and chest stab at me again and I take a breath as I open the door tensing up my muscles and noticing that the TV is on even though it's completely dark outside.

I step out quietly and go to turn the TV off knowing that whoever turned it on is probably going to get in huge trouble in the morning. I imagine my sister and shake my head trying not to think of what my mum will do if she found out. I turn away from the TV hoping she didn't notice it was on and look around the house not noticing abything out of place and rub the side of my head and head to the bathroom and look in the mirror. "Must've just been the TV" i mumble as I check out the marks on my neck seeing that theres bruises around the parts where her nails dug in but aside from that pretty much just the scratches. I feel my stomach growl and ache and I just sigh and continue to look at myself in the mirror. "Just shut up already" I say directed to my stomach as I use the bathroom and go back to bed.

-

I wake up to my siblings fighting about something lunch related for school and I get up and out of bed grabbing my phone and charger wishing I hadn't woken up at all and just stuffing them in my pockets. I brush my hair and leave my room, my siblings saying hi but I just ignore them. I go into the kitchen and find my mother cooking something at the stove and she turns to me smiling. I feel confusion take over my entire body and stop directly in my tracks.

"Goodmorning sweetie! Would you like some eggs?" She asks and I stay still as if the stillness will trick her into thinking I'm not there. She stays still too and I glance at my siblings who are both looking at my confused, I clear my throat and reach my hand up to my neck as I look back at her and she practically hops and goes to the fridge "Thirsty? I think we have juice!" I feel my throat completely dry up and I back away and smile at my brother and sister before taking a breath in to try and say something "im.. okay... thanks" My siblings look at me and I nod towards her and they shrug and continue to get ready for school. "Well I made you guys some lunches for school, theyre in the fridge" she says sickeningly sweet. I grab my throat and start to squeeze where she grabbed the day before, feeling the bruises ache, I feel tears raise to my eyes and I watch her go back to making eggs.

A fit of rage boils in my chest and I go over to the fridge, ripping it open I see it completely stocked full of food causing the anger to boil over "what are you doing!?" I yell at her and she jumps back flinging an egg out of the pan onto the wall and she looks at me shocked "my goodness!" She says and I slam the fridge closed "after the s:hī:t that happened yesterday? Now? Now is when you want to pull the good mother card? What is this!? What are you trying to pull here!?" I scream at her as tears fall from my eyes and I feel my throat scratching and aching as I yell. My siblings quiet down and watch from the hallway "why are you doing this!?" I yell feeling my voice waver and I start to cry and she just looks at me confused and I grab at my neck feeling it close around me.

The silence rings through the house as the eggs on the stove sizzle and crackle in the background and she stays still as if shes analyzing the situation. "Is cps here again?" I ask through a whimper and she looks around and pauses on my siblings and she smiles at them weakly seemingly trying to convince them that things are okay. She moves towards me slowly and puts her hand on my shoulder which I flinch away from and step away from. She pulls her hand away and looks at me, I stare at her eyes trying to find even a flicker of the malice she typically has but I look away and storm out the back door letting the screen slam behind me. I pause and wait on the steps while listening to them and hear my siblings ask her why I hate them.

I feel the tears flow heavily as I start to hyperventilate while I listen to them have a good morning and then them leave to go to school. I listen as the bus comes, stops and then drives away and I get up off the step and walk through the yard to the shop in the back and get into the drivers seat of my dads car and sob. I hear the shop door open after a while and I hear some shuffling of papers while I try to get myself under control. I find a way to still my breathing and listen as she walks over to the window and knock on it. I pull the crank to roll the window down a little bit and she leans down to speak through the crack, "license and registration please" she half heartedly jokes and I turn away from her and the window. "Listen- I kno-" I glare out the window at her "Who are you" I ask firmly and she pauses.

"what?" She asks after what seems like forever and I turn towards her and open the door pushing her away, allowing me to get out. "Who. Are. You." I say again looking her up and down. "You look like her and you sound like her but... you're just not. So who are you" I demand and she sighs "to think id be found out this soon." She chuckles and I watch her feeling a twinge of anger prick at my body. I watch as the colour drains from her skin and her eyes flood to black, she crosses her arms while watching me for a reaction but I give no such thing.

"I thought this integration thing would be a lot easier, but you're good." She says and chuckles a bit " you spotted me. Just like that!" She says as she steps closer and I keep my eyes trained on her "its impressive really!" She says and I keep staring at her and we stay like this for a couple long moments before she goes to step closer "so what now? You chop me and my family up and eat us?" I ask and she pauses and I see a look of pure amusement light up her face "Im sorry,,, what?" She asks before laughing "no silly! We come to an agreement where I study your family for... hm... a month? Or so? And then I return your true mother and we continue on with our lives" she says and I freeze "no." I practically shout and she stays still and the amusement disappears from her face.

"I mean," I pause and close the car door, clearing my throat "I meant to say..." I take a deep breath and wipe my tears away and look at her properly, she stays still. "If you stay, like, permanently- or at least until my sister moves away I won't say a word to anyone. Just keep,,, her,,, away." I say and the creature infront of me starts to nod slowly "Okay..." she says and steps closer, I look away as the colour returns to her and she goes to put her hand on my shoulder, "I think, I understand" she says as her cold hand gently takes my shoulder and slowly leads me into a hug. I take a deep breath and try not to cry, "It's okay now" she says as she gently squeezes me more into the hug and I feel my body uncontrollably break down in her arms.

The end! Thanks for reading I know it was long and probably really rough but it felt good to write so at least one person enjoyed it :)

Your family member has been abducted and replaced by an alien who is really bad at their job of pretending to be them. However, you don’t complain because the alien is still a vast improvement over the original

[woozyvee]

domino effect

　　　　　( best friend! seungmin x reader )

genre: magic au, unrequited love, confessions, romance, angst.

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: seungmin was right and now you are left with the pointed shards of your broken heart and nowhere to put them. unless he helps you make them disappear, which he refuses to do.

author's note: found this li'l thang in my forgotten drafts and decided to breathe some life into it. i like how it turned out, tee-hee!

The suffocating pressure in your chest is all you can really feel as your legs instinctively lead you in the direction of Seungmin's dorm. You can't even be bothered to apologize to the occasional peer you bump into on your way, ears practically deaf to the following curses thrown over stiff shoulders at you. Stone walls are harsh against your elbows when you graze them while turning corners, breathing shallow within the tightness of your rib cage.

Before you manage to realize that you've arrived, your knuckles already mash into the wood of Seungmin's door with three rough knocks.

"I'm busy," is the muffled response that slips through the crack by the threshold.

Anxiously you chew your lip, taut fist rising to knock again.

You don't need to hear the grunt to know it comes, buried by the sharp squeaks of Seungmin's bed as he presumably gets up from it, before the thuds of his feet grow louder as he approaches his door.

The annoyed glower upon his face softens when he sees who he is met with on the other side of it. "Oh. Hey," he greets, wide eyes looking you up and down, brows curling. "You okay?"

"I-" you choke, words stuck between the constricted walls of your throat. Nails dig crescents into your palms. "I talked to Hyunjin..."

Seungmin's expression drops.

"I told him, how I feel and-" It is as if your tongue swells, renders you unable to keep speaking. The sickening burn in your chest spreads upward and sizzles behind your eyes, forcing hot tears to squeeze out through the corners of them. It hurts when you swallow, lungs trembling.

Your friend can only sigh, hands reaching for you. "C'mere."

He embraces you in the opening of his doorway, tucks your head in the crook of his neck and lets you soak his robes with salty tears as you sob against him, slump into him. The obvious I told you so's are left unspoken but you hear them nonetheless, peeping hurtfully in your ear, making you cry harder.

"Here," he mutters. "Let's go inside."

Seungmin steps the two of you into his room, pushes his door shut with a heel and pulls you to his bed. The edge of it sinks as you sit down, Seungmin's arm firm around your shuddering shoulders. You sink against his side, weep into the rough fabric of his clothes some more.

Silence, broken only by your pained mewls and snivels, envelops the pair of you as Seungmin holds your agonized self close. He says nothing, does nothing until you stop shaking, stop wailing against him. The weight of you presses into him fully.

"You were right," you mumble, thick voice wavering. "I knew you were right, I knew he didn't feel the same. But why does it still hurt so bad?" A quivering hand of yours clutches over where your heart should be.

Seungmin's thumb rubs over your clothed arm.

"I- I shouldn't've told 'im. Shoulda just kept it to myself."

From where your head rests on Seungmin's shoulder you can feel him turning his face away from you, feel him sighing under you.

The fresh cracks in your heart chafe together, shoot pain through your torso. Your chin trembles.

Through the layer of unshed tears blurring your vision, your eyes trail around the comforting familiarity of Seungmin's room. The hamper full of knit sweaters, the collection of rare cards with notable warlocks, the photos he's taken of various animals hanging along a string against his wall, the tight row of worn books stuffed into his shelf, the dark curtains pulled shut before his long window, the jars of assorted ingredients strewn across his desk, the pair of-

You stiffen. Eye the spellbooks crowding his bookshelf, the potioneer's buffet laid out among forgotten homework on his table.

As you stand up Seungmin's arm falls from around you and you're sure he watches you approach his bookshelf to scrutinize it, to let an index finger graze the spines of the books inside it.

Seungmin has helped other people in situations like this, you're reminded. He has helped craft spells and brew potions for a fee. Helped peers fall in and out of love.

The next words you speak come easily, feel obvious. "Help me make the pain go away, Seungmin." A beat. "Make me one of those spells, that make your feelings go numb."

You turn around to face him, can physically feel the hope shining in your eyes.

Seungmin's expression is nothing short of appalled. "What?"

"Yes. I know you've done it. You helped Minho last year. Now you can help me."

"Wh- I-" Seungmin stands up, blinking to seemingly collect his thoughts as he firmly says your name. "I- You're hurting, okay? You- you aren't thinking clearly right now."

Your head jerks back, frown deep on your face. Offense squeezes around the already shattered mess that is your heart. "What- I- What do you mean? I know I'm hurting, that's the point. If you don't help me, it's gonna keep hurting."

Seungmin closes his eyes, takes a breath, meets you with a calmer tone. "Listen. If you want help with this, you should see a professional. I am not-"

"What, why would I pay two fortunes to see a professional when you're right here, have literally done this before?" you question, bewildered, frustrated. "I'll- I'll pay you double, okay? It'd still be a lot cheaper."

Seungmin licks the inside of his cheek, bites his lip. "I'm an amateur, okay? It's way too risky. If it doesn't work, be-"

"You've done it before, Seung-"

"If it doesn't work"—he cuts you off this time, stricter tone gluing your mouth shut—"best case is that nothing happens. Worst case, your emotional plane gets permanently ruined." He enunciates each word clearly, making sure you understand.

You swallow, willing yourself to stay firm under Seungmin's serious glare.

"Well, did that happen?" you counter.

Seungmin's eyes squint. "What?"

"Did it happen, any of the other times you've done this? Like with Minho?" Your arched eyebrows prod at your hairline.

The young man averts his eyes, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides. "I won't do it," he asserts, unwavering.

What scorches the inside of your chest now is not heartache, you note. It's pure, unadulterated anger.

"Wha- Well, why in the hells not?!" You take a step in his direction, tighten the proximity between you, making his face turn further sideways to avoid your stormy scowl. Fresh tears of rage begin surfacing in the creases of your eyes. "You just don't understand, do you?! How all I want right now is to rip my heart out and throw it straight out the window!"

Your friend's eyes meet your own, something dark and grim swirling around in their depths now. "I do too understand."

A scoff. "Clearly, you do not, Seungmin. Because if you knew how I'm feeling right now, if you had any idea how much my entire body hurts so much I-"

Seungmin's lips press into your own, effectively making you swallow the rest of your sentence, his warm palms solid on either side of your face.

Your entire form stiffens, along with the battered muscle tucked inside your rib cage, eyes wide open.

He's kissing you. His soft lips are moving decidedly against yours, his firm hold on your face is turning gentler, his hot breath is fanning the flushed skin of your cheek and he's kissing you.

When your nerves tingle, you realize you should do something. Pull away? Push him off? Kiss him ba-

Seungmin rips himself off you, leaving a chill in the wake of his retracting hands, shooting your fluttering eyelids back open. "Fuck," he mutters around an apology, backs away until he reaches his bed, slumps atop it with his elbows on his knees, heavy head hanging forward.

All you are reduced to is a quivering statue, a lonely tear of a passed fury rolling slowly down your cheek. Something fat plugs your throat, keeps any words from climbing to the surface.

"I can't do it," he reaffirms, voice breathy with bitterness. "Not to you."

He says no more, not lifting his head to look at you. Neither do you, incapable of forming any coherent thoughts within in the frenzied turmoil that is your mind. Only the lingering warmth of his mouth on yours is what you comprehend.

Something uncomfortable, jittery and intense, shivers its way up from your feet to your head, forces you into action. Panicked strides bring you to Seungmin's door, sweat-slick hand quickly pulling it open and then shut when you're safely on the other side. You keep walking, far away from what up until mere seconds ago was your safe haven, the only current destination in your mind being away.

You don't know what this tingling feeling running through your fingertips is. All you do know is that you can't feel your heartbreak anymore due to it having been completely buried by guilt. Nauseating, numbing, merciless guilt. As what was once ignorance has been replaced with cognizance.

Seungmin does understand how you feel. Because he feels it too.

copyright © 2024 woozyvee. all rights reserved.

[mr-s3lfdestruct]

I feel so horrible for asking. Who am I to beg for affection and attention like that? I’m so mad at myself. I can’t go even a day without being a bother. Can’t go 24 hours without being praised in some sort of way. I feel so guilty

I make myself sick. I’m so sickened and disgusted with myself. Why would I do something like that? Why would I even think about reaching out? I won’t say a word for real, I’ll just continue to beg and plead to no one in here until I pass out.

God fucking forbid im not the center of attention, god fucking forbid not everything is handed to me and spoonfed to me, god FUCKING FORBID I have to come to terms with the fact that not everything is about me. I just need to sit and wait. Sit and be good and quiet and not whine or beg until it’s my turn. I’m so tired, o think I’ll just go to bed hungry