#im sick. im fucking sick to my stomach
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madeleine choosing to die with claudia rather than live without her, hearing claudia cry for louis as he was dragged away, watching claudia and madeleine burn to death on that stage, holding one another tight and having whispered their last loving words only loud enough for the other to hear, claudia refusing to let any of them see her in her weakest moment....lestat's face being the last thing claudia fucking saw as she held madeleine's ashes in her hands and succumbed to the sun's rays........
#YES IM USING THIS GIF TWICE BECAUSE I WANT TO DIE#im sick. im fucking sick to my stomach#IM SICK TO MY STOMACH#WORST EPISODE (i loved it)#I FEEL SO FUCKING ILL GODS#I WISH SHE COULD HAVE KILLED ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON THERE HUMAN AND VAMPIRE ALIKE SAVE FOR MADDY IDC#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#madeleine iwtv#armand iwtv
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palestine is in a complete and utter blackout with israel launching hundreds of its heaviest airstrikes so far across gaza. this is a mass slaughter and we won't even know the extent of the casualties until it's over; israel have cut off telecommunications so they can commit their atrocities in the dark. there is a genocide happening right in front of our eyes and every person who has ever defended israel's "right to defend itself" has the blood of palestinians on their hands. we cannot ignore what is one of the most devastating massacres in human history.
#i don't even have the words ive never felt this sick to my stomach before#and people are just posting abt their fucking halloween costumes or a new album drop like im sorry but i cant even understand how#anyone can possibly not care about whats going on.#palestine#free palestine
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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also also. like i know we've talked about the husbandism but i don't think we've talked about the specifics of it enough because that was like. rehearsed. buck rambles his way through a story and eddie provides contextualising information for those who aren't grossly entwined in his life and buck knows to take breaths to let eddie do this before seamlessly picking the thread of the narrative back up. it's literally insane. you can tell this is something they've done a thousand times before. THE RITUALS!!! THEY'RE INTRICATE!!!!!!!
#sami rambles#im so sick guys im sick to my fucking stomach#WHICH COULD MEAN NOTHING#911 spoilers#911 show#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buck x eddie
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oh shiv….
#FUCK OFF#save her#im going to kill logan roy#sick to my fucking stomach#fathers daughter#shiv roy#logan roy#succession hbo#succession#sarah snook
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Eating applesauce for my sick tummy like
#furry art#fursona#doodle#drawing#sick puppy#applesauce#angelofalls#cartooning#after 26 hrs of sleep Im feeling better I just needed to eat something light and sweet for my stomach.#fuck food poisoning btw
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evangelicals are a fucking disgrace and none of them are seeing heaven
#sorry just saw the images of supposed christians in the pro isreal rally and speeches and felt fucking sick to my stomach#you have burned the texts of your god and follow genocidal fuckwads instead#your god is not my god and your heart is blackened#if you do not think any good god wouldn't condemn you you're already too far gone#free palestine#im so fucking sick
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stomach hurts from laughing at the comments on this reddit post.
thats just the local furry, man. dont worry about it
#granted my stomach could also hurt bc im sick and i also made the mistake of eating ice cream earlier#danny phantom#tucker foley#i was trying to look up images of the fenton’s kitchen on google bc i was trying to figure out if they had a stove or not#and i couldnt see anything that looked like one but i guess that fucked up mess of shapes beneath the kitchen tv IS one?? bizarre
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Auston Matthews in The Hardest Interview | 10.12.24
#toronto maple leafs#auston matthews#2425#egifs#he is so fucking cute i feel ill. sick to my stomach w love#god has he ever looked better actually im vergin gona jmental BREAKDOWN#jewelry
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WHATS GOING ON AKDJKSJDKSKDJDJ
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jakehoon this yoonmin this, fuck y'all know about gtop.
#i miss them sm#gtop#bigbang#gdragon#t.o.p#top bigbang#kpop#k pop#kpop bg#i miss them so insanely much like genuinely im sick to my stomach#fuck seungri for being a disgusting person and also separating my babies
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josh hartnett + his severely long bottom eyelashes.
#josh hartnett#j hartnett#josh#hartnett#cooper abbott#trap#trip fontaine#the virgin suicides#don't you think this is sickening#like what the fuck#THIS ISNT FAIRRR!!!!#hes so gorgeous.#im kinda sick to my stomach#he looks like a girl.
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anyone else profoundly tired
#i feel so fucking hopeless for my future as an artist#i don't want to#but i do#it feels like fucking everything is against us#there's an aching exhaustion in my bones that english can't describe#ok to reblog#i dont care#hopefully some other artists out there will feel solidarity#sorry for the negativity#vent#negative#im just so tired and sick to my stomach
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you guys are SO SICK AND TWISTED FOR KEEPING THIS FROM ME.
THE PAT ON THE LOWER BACK?
THE HANDSHAKE?
"congrats, MARC." MARC. ITS MARC AND NOT MARQUEZ.. KILL ME NOW WHY DONT YOU.
"CONGRATS TO YOU, AS WELL." SHUT THE FUCK UP.
"OH, SHIT. MARTIN" AND MARCS HEAD TURNED RIGHT AWAY. HE'S FUCKING LISTENING TO BEZ. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
"you overtook me in the first laps" "yes, because behind you the temperature at the front was..." THEYRE FUCKING CONVERSATING. SPEAKING BACK AND FOURTH.
THE. T.H.E. TOUCH. DONT PLAY WITH ME.
"how as your pace at the last turn?" "he did 37.4" STAWP HE WASNT TALKING TO U MARC HEHEEHEEHEHE
"and you?" "no, i was 37.6" THEYRE FUCKING TALKING
#im gonna fucking throw up#im actually sick to my stomach#i cant breathe#this is ten times better than i expected#you guys dont fucking understand#the hyperfixation is so bad this feels like christmas.#motogp#marcmarc#bezquez#marco bezzecchi#marc marquez#mb72#mm93#spanish gp 2024#jerez 2024#spain 2024#idfk 2024#kats chattin shit
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Marbit Romeo and Juliet au but at what cost?? Specially the circle in the square production. HEAR ME OUT PLEASE
#ty lilly#like someone HEAR ME OUT PLEASE#Soda Mercutio#Two-Bit Romeo#Marcia Juliet#Bev Tybalt#or Trip Tybalt#or#Trip Paris#like im so fucking sick to my stomach#mostly thinking about Soda Mercutio#no one gets it#like only the circle in the square Mercutio#GODDD#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#romeo and juliet#circle in the square#marcia the outsiders#marbit#two bit mathews#sodapop curtis#beverly the outsiders#trip the outsiders
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