#im running on two hours of sleep so if this is incomprehensible

[randomwriteronline]

I'd like to ask your thoughts on your Foster Parent AU, please!

(scuttling towards you at the speed of sound) WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT PARENTAL LOVE AND THE HORRORS

OK so. i. do not remember how this came to me BUT i am half certain it was due to my "the turaga are the mata's parental figures whom they love dearly and are loved by and artakha has lost the custody battle So Severely that he can see them once every two months" view of their relationship (which i have exaggerated in that description for comical effect) and then bloodborne got involved in it bc im watching a blindrun of it

this resulted in what was at first a Superpowered Teens AU becoming a Parenthood And Other Horrors AU. sort of. my thoughts about it are still unfortunately vague and the more i write it down the more incomprehensible it becomes BUT take this mess

Very simply put: six parentless teens, separated from birth but vaguely aware of having five siblings somewhere out there, are serendipitously handed over to six very loving foster parents who all happen to be friends and like to hang out.

except its not a coincidence, their instinctual knowledge of one another's existence is not just a gut feeling, their guardians are very aware of everything thats actually going on but wont say anything, a weird man claiming paternity of them keeps showing up and very aggressively demanding they be handed over to him, and they are not human.

So anyways!

the relationships between the turaga and the mata are the Big Focus for the chunk of story thats like Normal bc. i love them. ofc

Whenua and Onua hit it off immediately despite Whenua being the one whos the most tense abt this whole situation of Taking A Teen In His House - this is partially thanks to the fact that he has a business handling and selling bugs and especially worms and Onua loves being in the fucking dirt as much as possible, so they go on nice hikes collecting crawlies of all sorts and having a fun time bonding over their shared love for beasts that live in the ground. Onua used to get yelled at for being always dirty so hes having a blast with his foster dad who starts shaking and hooting in excitement when his incredibly autistic teen son pulls an entire mole out of the ground and proudly shows it to him so he can identify it properly. Onua has a small pocket that is always SQUIRMING with worms and he hands one over to each of his siblings when he meets them for the first time to... varying reactions (mostly baffled polite disgust, tho Lewa falls in love and decides thats his new pet)

on the completely opposite end of the spectrum, Tahu fucking HATES Vakama at first. he has a reputation for running away to "find his siblings" (nobody believed him) and this old man is NOT going to stop him. as in he literally isnt. Tahu glares daggers at him on the drive home and tells him hell disappear as soon as he can and Vakama deadpan goes alright, can i at least get you a tent first. can i get you a sleeping bag first. can i get you a portable stove first. can i teach you valuable working and cooking skills so you can find a way to keep yourself alive and indipendent first. and he manages to keep Tahu around by legit just preparing him for living alone when he inevitably runs off - which he ends up not doing bc of All That and also Vakama has a FORGE in his HOUSE and Tahu loves fire so much and also hes actually a very cool dad but hes embarrassed to tell him bc he was so mean to him at first. Vakama gets him into glass blowing (so he doesnt try to put his whole hand in the furnace) and he is so so proud of his lil crafts. Tahu gives him a necklace with beads he made and you bet your ass that old man is keeping it on 24/7

Gali has been on her best behaviour for all 15 years of her life and she has so much Insane Wrath in her that shes desperate to keep inside. ofc Nokama (a very mellow linguist who likes to lay on the beach for five hours in her time off) decides its time to teach her the most insane martial arts combination possible and let her go to town on a training dummy until shes about to rip the stuffing out of it until she feels better. then they can do a bit of meditation and go down for her surfing lessons :) Gali was. deeply confused the first time around but Nokama was just like "sweetheart you need that. trust me i do it every saturday its a good way to get the pent up rage down. but do actually talk to me abt whats upsetting you also so i can lend you a hand if i can. that helps too" and wouldnt you know it She Was Right! and Nokama is like so smart and also so stupid and its SO GOOD to be able to tell her "thats a dumb idea" and not immediately get told to shut up. in the course of two weeks and a half Gali's shoulders and jaw finally unclench and shes bitching about school and whatnot and theyre telling each other stupid crass jokes and shes just so happy. thank you mom :) (not pictured is Nokama trying her hardest not to burst into tears bc oH MY GOD IM MOM NOW...... IW ILL PROTECT HER W MY LIFE)

Onewa got handed over this incredibly anxious people pleasing kid who crosses his legs weird to keep them from bouncing and hes like ah..... this one is NOT a sculptor. so he puts off the mallet for a while and tries to see which ball sport he likes the most before letting him loose doing soccer trickshots in the yard for about four hours while hes filing down some rocks into shape. Pohatu then runs twelve laps around the house, passes out, wakes up, runs twenty more laps, eats like a horse, passes out on the couch. thus begins Onewa's quest to get him enough enrichment everyday, which is actually pretty fun and also good for his posture now that he has to Stand Up and Go Places. it takes longer to get Pohatu to act completely genuinely around him bc hes used to some of his snarkier jokes getting him left alone or reprimanded so hes always walking on eggshells, but luckily for him Onewa has No Such Problems and will tell anybody to fuck off and snark back at him playfully and generally just make him feel a lil easier abt being mean. its also very fun to get yelled at by him when racing him bc he gets winded after five meters. Pohatu is still polite but by god if Onewa's influence isnt turning him into a lil bit of a bastard. and we love him for it

Kopaka and Nuju's first interaction was not talking for an entire day and then, at breakfast, Kopaka asking him "are you deaf?" and Nuju replying "are you?" and those were the first words they ever said to each other. and they continued to keep this pattern of minimal conversation for like three months. possibly longer. Nuju is trying very, very hard to remain detached for Reasons and i can tell you already that he is failing. he is respecting Kopaka's space n interests n introducing him as his "flatmate" instead of foster son bc Kopaka is refusing to call him dad at first, but he is NOT saving himself from getting deathly attached to this edgelord. He Is Not. he got Kopaka into photography by handing him a professional digital camera and telling him to do some nice shots so he can print them later if he wants, and Kopaka did just that and turned out to be VERY good at it. now if you look at the walls theyre covered in his photos. Nuju the unflinching astronomer never comments on them but prints them out all fancy and gets them in frames and all. he has set them up as his wallpaper on All Digital Devices. they Do Not talk about this. Kopaka is very flustered about it actually. not that hell say it of course, theyre the same in that regard lmao

Lewa on the other hand starts calling Matau dad after roughly two hours. he has Imprinted On Him and dad has Wholly Accepted That. it helps that the kid is as chaotic as him and loves to listen to him tell him abt his old days as a stuntman while hes custom modding motors and bikes. he very quickly realizes, however, that Lewa needs to be in his natural habitat aka At The Skatepark or he will start peeling the paint off the walls with his bare fucking nails so he puts a pair of rollerskates on that beast (plus protective gear) and unleashes him upon some unsuspecting ramps. he treats his practice like its the olympics. im talking full commentary, arbitrarily pitting him against random kids, and screamed cheering that scares off several smaller children and gets him ugly looks from the other parents. Lewa is soaking in that attention like its a hot bath, hes having the time of his life. Matau is also... surprisingly? good? at making him feel safe? Lewa has vivid night terrors and Matau knows how to ease him back down from the fear and panic without being silly or dismissive about it either. like hell lay down with him if it can help even tho Lewa is techically too old for that by now and just not. make a fuss of it

so anyways things settle into normality, the kids meet each other via their foster parents bein very close pals and become friends, theyre hanging out, weird elemental stuff happens sometimes but its so minimal they dont even notice it really (the turaga do, and theyre monitoring that closely)

and then Artakha shows up.

and Artakha's mere existence ANYWHERE in the kids' sorroundings is enough to make the turaga incredibly on edge and territorial. which in turn, together with Artakha claiming ownership over them, clues the mata in that something is going on and that it is not normal at all.

Artakha is. oh boy. he is certainly A Guy. he is incredibly cold, unfeeling, relentless in his insistence that the kids come with him. his skin is excessively smooth and his movements feel calculated in a way that is hard to describe. his hands are always cold. he seems to be a scientist of sorts, or at least he dresses in a way that reminds of a stereotypical scientist. he does not refer to the mata as his children or as people in general, but he claims to have made them and as such demands custody. he never touches them, but being near him stirs something confusing in them. he instigates a visceral reaction from the turaga that makes them almost literally bark at him by simply being in their line of sight. its so bad that their worry and discomfort is literally physical and they will sometimes puke or get a fever during or after an interaction with him. its like he activates some kind of lizard brain response from them.

he puts so much pressure on the kids that the previously dismissable element-related strangeness ramps up in intensity together with weird dissociative episodes to the point its genuinely getting scary.

Tahu steps into the spent furnace and immediately ignites a flame. Onua tries to bury himself and almost digs through a sewage tube. Gali falls off her surboard and does not resurface for half an hour. Pohatu clips through a block of marble and has to be carved out of it. Lewa leaps off during a grind and he just disappears into thin air.

Kopaka becomes snow.

One night Nuju feels a sudden cold wind coming from inside the house and runs straight into Kopaka's bedroom praying it hasnt happened and find only a small tornado of snow violently tearing the place apart. hes despairing over losing his boy when he notices something that looks like a hand trying to reach out to him - so he grabs it and pulls as hard as he can, and the hand slowly grows an arm and an elbow and a forearm and hes yanking as hard as he can until he finally rips Kopaka out of the snow and falls to the ground with him. he hugs him as tight as he can and tells him how wonderful hes been, fighting back like that. then he notices, to his horror, that Kopaka has gone into cardiac arrest.

in five different households the mata instantly know something has happened. they dont know what, but they know its bad.

minutes after Gali tells her this, Nokama gets a call from Nuju. she drives herself and her daughter to the hospital to find her friend bawling his eyes out about his boy, his little boy, trying to tell her how it happened and how he almost killed him and while Nokama is trying to calm him and call the other turaga Gali sneaks off to see Kopaka, who is stable but catatonic. as the turaga arrive with the mata in tow, the latter all gather around their brother: touching him seems to let him live through them (or is it the other way around?) and he begins getting out of his vegetative state while they move him around and speak his thoughts as though they were him

which is. you know. Not Normal

so this extremely unnatural situation (and Nuju holding Kopaka and kissing his face like his life depends on it and let me fucking tell you It Just Might) is the perfect time to talk about WHAT in the FUCK any of this is about. you know. just in case all this happens again.

as it turns out, Artakha IS a scientist and he DID make the mata. the reason behind this is still unknown to the turaga, who know him as they were previous test subjects of his for the same project who managed to escape after essentially being sequestered - the main difference being that they were humans who underwent the side-effects of what he claimed to be a "vaccine" of sorts, whereas the mata were physically created in a laboratory and are something else. their bets were on very advanced robots, since the facility they were in did have some robot-making stuff. going back to the turaga, whatever the vaccine was had meant to elevate them in some sense or other; what it did was, effectively, giving them the ability to undergo a very painful transformation when encountering specific triggers. this also led to more or less useful sidepowers, like the ability to understand a "star language" and in Vakama's case getting The Visions! You Know The Ones. these two combined clued them in on the creation of the mata, and they decided that they would NOT have allowed Artakha and his buddy* to pull some shit on what the stars essentially described as newborn children. their plan was to break into their facility again and steal the babies and maybe raise them?? try to???? that seemed to be the plan in the stars?????? but effectively they. uh. Dont Know What Happened. they just collectively woke up with the knowledge that the kids were dropped off to the fostering/adoption system. between them making a plan to go get them and After there is a giant black hole and they have been desperately trying to find them again for fifteen years to try and give them a normal life away from everything as like. an apology for being born in such terrible circumstances

*wait Artakha has a buddy? yes! apparently! its hard to explain. there was certainly a second person, but the turaga never saw them properly. its possible they were one of the triggers that caused the transformation, as their memories get muddled if not just ripped away from their minds while transformed

from here to the next part of the story there is a gap of plot that i Do not exactly have in mind. the mata definitely experience the same thing as Kopaka, becoming their element and needing to be physically taken out of it before they are lost completely in it. Artakha might actively trigger this a few times, for example with Lewa (who kicks his ass as a result) and generally becomes much more aggressive in his pursuit of the kids while the turaga do their best to keep him at bay

AND THEN ITS FACILITY TIME. i do NOT know how they get there i just know they DO and the HORRORS are coming

first of all: the place is effectively some kind of very powerful observatory around which some insane sci fi bullshit was built. here the mata and turaga find themselves pursued by Artakha as well as his buddy - an enigmatic woman named Velika who observes them through the cameras and eventually corners them in a specific area of the facility

before that, the power briefly goes out due to the kids trying to make Artakha lose their tracks. during this time, Gali finds a locked door filled with medical equipment meant to keep someone alive through a coma. the room is covered in dust, very quiet, and there is a bed in the middle of it. someone is clearly on it. when the lights come back up the machines restart and she is able to see the state of the body on the bed just as a monitor loudly announces a flatlining. it is not shown, but baby you can bet that it is Not Pretty.

This, as they will find out later, is Karzhani.

who is a researcher who once partnered with Velika and was then replaced by Artakha.

Velika and Karzhani had different fields of expertise, essentially having an equal split between studies of the mind (Velika) and the body (Karzhani). while running completely different tests they had by complete chance made tentative contact with some kind of ineffable thing which they dubbed "the great spirit": this mostly unilateral relationship (as the great spirit showed very little responsiveness at their probing, providing them what they asked in an incomplete way and rather distractedly) very quickly consumed them, and from curiosity they slowly developed completely different obsessions. Velika remained focused on the strange creature and her studies, growing an unhealthy desire to bring the great spirit down to dissect its brain as she slowly stopped viewing living beings as sapient and began seeing them more as a series of increasingly more complex puzzles for her to crack; Karzhani, who instead had been heartbroken by his inability to have children, began obsessing over the concept of fatherhood and the possibility of creating his own offspring from scratch through the energy and materials they were picking up from the contact with the great spirit. These obsessions coincide in a singular project when it turns out that, in order to bring the great spirit to them, they need a number of sentient minds made with the aformentioned materials to "open the sky" beforehand - hence the idea to create the mata

Velika and Karzhani were on amiable if somewhat apathetic terms before getting their brains boggled by Knowledge Beyond Human Comprehension, but afterwards Karzhanis obsession with parenthood got so bad that he sort of deluded himself into believing Velika was going along with his fantasy of becoming parents and started talking about her like she was his wife who was 100% into his goal, which gave Velika INCREDIBLY BAD VIBES so she decided to replace him. by essentially putting him in a coma, extracting his consciousness, altering it to fit HER goals, placing it in a robot body which shed convinced him to make (bc she cant make bodies, thats his deal) and just leaving the real Karzhani to rot in a vegetative state as like a side experiment. bc as mentioned. she wasnt exactly sane either.

the result of All That is Artakha! who is incredibly despondent to and barely tolerates Velika since she regards him as another side experiment instead of a properly sentient if artificial being. he is essentially a refined version of Karzhani, though Velika was unable to eliminate his possessiveness towards the mata - which was useful to find them but becomes a problem when he refuses to let her use them for her alien contact attempt

so she brutally kills him by disabling his bodily autonomy and throwing him in a shredder as he screams in morse code for help

Livestreamed for the kids and turaga to see!

Because She Is Totally Normal

and speaking of unnecessary cruelty she decides that shes too lazy to trap the mata and go get them herself, so she triggers the turagas transformation to use them as guard dogs fetching her the kids <3

slight problem in her plan being that the turaga get so stressed about this that they manage to slow down the process enough to throw their children to safety aka as far away from them as possible and give them at least some instructions on how to deal with them from their own experience and what little memories dont get blotted out by the transformation. once theyre fully gone tho they are Terrifying As Hell Beasts and start hounding the children like starving bears while the poor things scuttle away into the ventilation and Velika watches the whole thing with great interest

during this escape Lewa ends up finding their seventh "sibling" - that being Tren Krom, made entirely from cosmic material and technically not yet born as he is a failed first attempt by Karzhani to make a child. hes the one whos been pestering Lewa with all those fucking night terrors like a git in the attempt of getting him to find him and let him just stop existing in peace bc hes tired of this not-life not-death situation hes in

hes the most aware of everything thats going on due to being such a simple organism that the cosmic knowledge doesnt faze him. he reveals to him Velikas plan of getting the great spirit in this realm, as well as the fact that the great spirit itself does Not have a body and will have to inhabit one, possibly that of one of the mata (Lewa Will Remember That). before Lewa shuts his containment down and lets him drift to sleep Tren Krom also tells him that Karzhani would have been a terrible father for them, and it was for the best that the turaga got them out of there and still tried to give them a normal life despite everything going to shit so quickly even years after theyd last seen them as itty bitty beasties

speaking of the turaga, they DO each corner their respective mata eventually, bc theyre big terrifying monsters and those are highly stressed teens panicking as they try to scramble away, and they DO NOT HURT THEM nor bring them back to Velika bc that idiot did not account for THE MOM/DAD INSTICT. YES THE HORRORS ARE INEFFABLE BUT SO IS PARENTAL LOVE BITCH.

Velika, loading a gun: ah dangit, they were such a fun experiment

SHE DOES NOT KILL THEM DONT WORRY but she does knock them out and wound them enough to incapacitate them so she can actually get her hands on the kids and drag them into her Fucked Up God-Calling Contraption

she fires it up, the kids almost get atomized by it for a moment as their elemental part gets almost torn out of them...

aand then. it.

doesnt do anything.

the whole process goes through successfully and then everything stops, and the kids are catching their breath but still alive, and nothing happens. to say Velika is anything less than fucking pissed would be an understatement.

her up until now eerily cheerful demeanor drops. she starts checking her machinery and data trying to understand what went wrong, and all she gets back is that, technically, everything went perfectly fine. she turns to the kids who are still horrendously weak, shaking them and yanking them and demanding an explanation because it HAS to be something THEY did that caused this (she is only partially right*). shes pacing angrily everywhere. what the HELL did you do. WHERE is the god i wanted to dissect. im going to kill you. you damn kids. and why am i cold all of a sudden. (puts hands on her neck) wait wheres my pulse. (checks properly) holy shit i have no pulse.

she then spends about. i dont know. ten minutes? slowly going insane as she loses control of her body piece by piece. she reverts to a giddy scientist except now shes very audibly panicked about the situation, and loudly dictates the description of her demise to her computer as if it was another experiment. she ends up almost completely paralyzed on the floor snarling orders at the mata to come pick her back up until she finally stops breathing and hushes completely

and then her voice rises again. but its not her

*because in the brief moment while the mata were closest to getting Fucking Spaghettified, their supernatural bond shared the info Lewa had learned from Tren Krom and managed to contact the great spirit as he started looking for a body to inhabit in order to come visit, directing him to Velika instead of any of them :)

they didnt fuckin know that would have KILLED HER bc the great spirit DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO USE A BODY and Velika was VERY MUCH UNAWARE IT WAS THERE so to stop her from hogging the controls it just SLOWLY SHUT DOWN ALL ORGANS

so this cosmic entity is just There, On The Ground, calling for them through Velikas mouth without moving it bc as mentioned it does NOT know how to use a body. it knows theyre there bc they called it but it doesnt know how to move its eyes so he has no clue where they are but he wants to see em :( its been a while since its seen those six stars and it was so happy to hear their voices again so it was really looking forward to seeing them :(

except the second it sees them (when they manage to get up bc theyre. struggling) the cosmic horror experiences the Cosmic Horror right back! because it Does Not Have a body, and it hasnt seen any body, ever, and all this skin and flesh and bones and hair and stuff is SO absolutely nightmarish that not only does it not recognize the kids, as they are humans, but it also just leaves back for whatever recess of space it came from in no time. all this fucking unethical as hell work and descents into madness and then those two/three idiot scientists didnt even realize their alien mightve had this bad of a culture shock and felt compelled to get out in less than two minutes. fuckin hell.

the kids sort of let everything sink in very quickly. because goddamn that was a lot. and then they remember OH NO OUR PARENTS and hurl themselves back to the turaga to make sure theyre alright bc theyve had enough trauma already for today theyd rather their guardians be alive and possibly not big terrifying monsters anymore

theyre alright :) they get to hug their kiddos tight

and then i guess they all go to the Fucking HOSPITAL and as soon as theyre all safe and sound and fine they can take a fucking break

and that is. an absolute clusterfuck of an au dhgjsgdgkf

it sounded better in my head. damn

anyways take this hellish thing hope you find SOMETHING of value in it bc im slowly clipping through the wall thinking about it

[blookmallow]

recently become obsessed with this horror channel about these two dumbass paranormal investigators... the acting is terrible. most of the episodes end with them being like "brooo what the fuck bro" and just Leaving and not actually saving anyone or figuring anything out. i cant tell if its satire or if its supposed to be funny or what they're doing but i fucking love them so much. i cant stop watching them. its called life of luxury, no idea why, but anyway heres some of that

the label arrows on the thumbnails are killing me

chester wearing a cowboy hat in the car randomly for one scene and then taking it off when they get to the spooky place

you cant see very well in a still screenshot but this was very clearly and obviously a person coming into the living room through the window and chester's like "idk it's probably just the curtain or something" meanwhile parker immediately jumps to "WHAT IS THAT THING??" it's a guy. it's a guy breaking into the house that's what it is. some of their later monsters do have a pretty good "what the FUCK is that" factor but this one is blatantly just. a naked dude crawling around. which im not saying isn't a horrifying thing to be in your house in the middle of the night but it's not, like, an incomprehensible supernatural occurrence

(shot of a man crawling up the stairs) "WHAT IS THAT??? IS IT A DOG???" are you Stupid. they also watch this man crawling through her house (knowing she's in there sleeping alone) for like. several minutes before they do Anything

this is from a different stalker in the house episode where the camera timestamp said they saw this guy come out of the closet at a little before 1 AM. they sit there and watch him walk through the house and sit down in a chair. and they're like ok lets see where he's going with this. and then there's a transition and another camera time stamp showing it's now 1:40 am. they have been sitting here watching a strange man sitting in this girl's house where she's sleeping alone for like an hour and have done Nothing about it. like, call the police maybe????? do something????

chester is the camera guy and they never show or mention anyone else working with them but half the camera angles are. showing chester. with his camera. this is before they set up any cameras for the supernatural stakeout so there is clearly another person with a camera here

like this boy is constantly filming himself whenever they're in the car and we never actually see any of the footage from chester's camera. what is he doing. also despite the fact that insane shit happens every single time they go on one of these investigations, still, inevitably, chester, every time "idk it's probably nothing. we probably won't even find anything dude. shes probably lying bro"

its almost Always specifically an 18 year old girl, too

itS THE gUY!!!

this girl who's supposed to be terrified but she looks like she's Smiling? also every bedroom looks like this. nobody has anything in their room except a bed and like, maybe a single chair. who lives like this

this one they get a message about a girl's brother who went on a trip and came back Wrong and they go to investigate to find out whats wrong with him, what happened to him, right

they go. the brother won't come out of his room. they do their camera stakeout. they see him crawling around the house and talking to himself. he bangs on his sister's door and then runs away. they get her out of the house. episode ends. like they literally solved NOTHING

then there's also like

like. bro are you dating or

the amount of times "oh no..... there's only.... ONE BED..... 😳" happens cannot be accidental

[frogsinajar]

please pleeease post the essay i am so curious now

Sure thing! I exaggerated a bit on the length since I was writing it in the tags but like, lemme see if I can actually make it coherent now lmao

The gist of it is that Rust and Marty have a lot of friction, that friction is really dependent on the context of the story they are in and a lot of its beats, so I dont wish to compare the characters completely under that light (Since they arent similar in that fashion), however, there are plenty of similarities in which the characters deal with their situations to what Dirk and June kind of are like.

Dirk can come off as a pretentious douchebag who has a tendency to communicate through esoteric tangents, much to the chagrin to whoever he is talking to. Rust talks in a similar way, however, he does it out of cynicism and a disillusionment with life (aka edgy), while Dirk doesn’t. Its been a while since I sat down and read act 6 so I dont completely trust my instincts on saying that Dirk does it only because he’s a smartass and has a hard time communicating properly, but the point still stands in how they both talk with others.

June, on the other hand, has a tendency to try and simplify things, which leads her to having two modes; nice, and asshole. She is nice by default because it comes easier to her, but as soon as shit gets complicated, she’d rather be an asshole than think too hard about the situation at hand, specially in moments of introspection.

Marty has a similar way of responding, though he does it out of trying to keep a sense of normalcy. He’d rather people think he is nice when he is not, and Rust gets under his skin way easy with how he spins his esoteric bullshit and how it challenges the life Marty knows. He becomes a short fused guy just by virtue of being with someone who sees right through his shit and has the gall to comment on it.

So, both pairs have completely different contexts and situations, but the way they respond are similar and leads to a possible comparison with how they would deal with each others bullshit. Of course, this makes it so the deeper nuances of both relationships would differ, since Rust and Marty’s relationship is very dependent of the story it is woven into (and it is a very different story from homestuck, mind you), but on a surface level, I do think it is a valid way of seeing how their relationship would be. And it would also be hilarious, like, we already get a little bit of it with Jane and Dirk, but Jane I feel will tolerate some bullshit, while June tends to be less patient (both depending on context of course), so I think that kind of friction between them would be really funny.

On that note however, I always thought that June and Dirk could have a nice friendship, the way they are a foil to each other in certain aspects could allow them to keep each other in check, kinda like June and Rose do, though in a much rockier way, so I felt the comparison that @telltaletypist made was pertinent. It doesnt need to be as deep as I might be making it sound, but its fun to try and make a more serious case for it, like you could simply say that one wants to be simple minded and the other isnt and they would clash a lot because of that.

Anyway, as much as I may like writing, the moment I get into literary analysis I stumble a lot over my words and thoughts lmao, so I hope I managed to communicate the way I see it properly. Also, I am generalizing a bit for the purpose of not digressing too much and having to like, actually sit down and do a thorough research and redaction, since character analysis invites so many possible readings, but I hope it was sufficient.

Also, I recommend wholeheartedly the first season of True Detective, like, it has some of my favorite writing and it does things with a hardened detective story I had never seen before (its not like I watch that many but still), HOWEVER, I gotta warn people that it is quite a graphic show, nudity and violence wise, really actually, it could be an upsetting watch, or at least an incredibly awkward one if you end up watching it with your parents in the room. I dunno about the other two seasons, though a fourth one is in development with the pilot written and directed by Issa López which is fucking rad.

[hidden-elytras]

I agree, your thoughts when playing the game change. I think its because since the hermits are crazy good at the game that they challenge you to broaden the way you think. a really good example in building is BDubs and his use of weird blocks like coal ore and acacia in his castle. Its showing that you dont have to categorize wood into wood and stone into stone. Also I think redstone is one of those super intimidating things that you get scared of starting, but once you get started on the basics you realize its not too intimidating.

On my smp I went from just kinda existing to spearheading our exp farms, the nether tunnel system, and even got our rocket supplies set up.

watching hermitcraft deeply changes you as a player. I joined that smp with my irl friends a week ago and I've literally already a) built a rustic house b) terraformed the hill and shoreline next to my house c) did portal linking so I could join the hub d) build a path between my portal and the hub and e) TEXTURIZED the path (scar would be proud). I have a checklist on my phone of goals, and those include redstone farms. who am i

[versatilewindow]

Reflections From The Eye of The North

Find it on Ao3

Summary: The Commander reflects on the shift in the relationship between themselves and their close friends

A/N: im reposting this bc i hated the format it was in before lol

It was hard staying away from home for so long, I never really get to see my family, my friends back home, but it's been manageable. Creating, being a part of Dragon’s Watch, has maybe been my greatest accomplishment to date. Ok, raising a dragon is pretty cool, saving Tyria from certain destruction is something most adventurers and warriors only dream about, but along with that came a roller coaster of emotions. Losing good soldiers, people I had seen as friends, that was hard, making me wonder if this campaign against the dragons was even worth it. But on these adventures I met my closest friends, people that are now my family.

It always kinda pissed me off how Rytlock started to dote on me after I died. Ok that's understandable. Coming back from the dead is not something a lot of people do, but Rytlock always seemed to be part of the group just for the fights, never really joining us in meals, always having a snarky reply to whatever someone said. But after the incident, he would suggest taking breaks to rest more often, something he would never do when we were in Maguuma, a time where he would berate us for stopping to catch our breath even for a second. He was reminding me of basic self care. Like eating or sleeping. Which at times was called for, particularly in the days leading up to the fight with Balthazar, or later when we were rescuing Taimi.

Despite all this parental behavior, I didn’t make too much of it until Aurene also… passed. The days following were honestly a blur, sleeping, only being awake long enough to acknowledge the presence of my friends and the food they left nearby my bed. As much as it pissed me off then, Rytlock would wake me up and basically pull me out of bed to make me walk around and take a bath. Sitting on the bathroom floor, listening to the water run into the tub, listening to Rytlock talk at me about what was going on that day, if there were any updates on Kralkatorrik, him checking the temperature of the tub from time to time. Him giving me time to sit in the tub for what felt like hours on end while he tidied up my room, opening the curtains, leaving a peaceful silence between us, other than the occasional, “Hey kid, you still alive in there?” when he would quickly pop his head in the door of the bathroom to make sure I was ok.

I never did thank him for that.

With the other members of Dragon’s Watch, they didn’t really find the best way to express their grief to me. Rox was sweet, leaving me a piece of cake or pie in my room, but mostly left me alone. Braham, who has been through this sort of grief with Eir, really just spent his time hunting, bringing some kind of animal back for that night’s dinner. And Taimi, I didn’t see too much of her, but she would come to my room and talk to me about her research while she thought I was asleep. Caithe basically fell off the face of Tyria until she called everyone together to see Aurene again.

Watching Rytlock interact with Crecia was… to put this.... Interesting. It was like watching an old married couple bicker about the dumbest thing, but also like watching two strangers get to know each other.

It was not a surprise to me that Rytlock was a dad. Yes Charr culture puts more emphasis on your found families in the farhar and warbands, but fathering a child, changes people, changes the way they see and protect their loved ones. Meeting Ryland made the recent shift in behavior make sense. I imagine that when Rytlock was young and rising up, he had a similar view on how to approach a problem (that is to just cut it down and fight until there is no more problems).

The fight with Drakkar, like most big fights, was honestly a blur. When I look back on it, all I really remember is seeing the inky black avatar for the Whisper of Jormag, the incomprehensible yelling from Crecia and Rytlock, and the moment of numbness before the burning in my chest started and wouldn’t stop. This was what dying felt like.

As someone who most would consider to be well versed in the art of passing out from injury. It was hard to stay out. I would think that the pain would keep me sleeping, but all it did was wake me up for just a few seconds of white, hot pain before feeling faint and going limp in whosoevers arms I was in. I vaguely remember furry, soft arms, and bigger, more sturdy ones. I remember Braham whispering to me, “It’s going to be alright Commander, we’re gonna get you to safety.” Although those words seemed more to reassure himself than me. I remember more bickering from Crecia and Rytlock, him berating himself for being distracted while Bangar shot me, and then Crecia reminding him in not the most polite tone that they couldn’t do anything until they got me to safety.

Waking up to see Aurene was one of the greatest feelings ever, only to be struck back down from the exhaustion and the weight in my chest. The following conversations were hard to follow from the pain in my head and chest, the burning had not gone away.

The very first few days of recovery, Rytlock never left my side, helping me in and out of bed, running the bath and even staying in the room to make sure I didn’t reopen any wounds. His claws would delicately lower me down into the bed, petting my head to lull me to sleep through the soreness and tightness in my chest.

I was never left alone, whether I was sleeping, eating, or bathing. It was usually Rytlock or Braham who stayed with me, helping me up out of bed or helping me dress. Which was so terribly embarrassing for everyone involved. I really appreciated the company, but Braham wouldn’t stop talking about how sorry he was, how it was his bow, and how irresponsible he was to lose it in the first place. With Rytlock, we both kept to ourselves, enjoying each other’s company, speaking only when needed.

That's when I realized it, Rytlock reminded me of my dad, who always reminded me that actions speak louder than words. It’s hard being away from home, where I grew up, but a home is not always a place, it’s where your heart lies. Home is with my friends who I consider my family. We can travel the world, fight with each other, but it’s still home.

A/N: my original title was rytlock be like: i am ur father anyway lmk if u love it or hate it bc i cant get better at writing without feedback also I may or may not do this with other characters depending on what yall think

[headshxtina]

[halcyon (adj): denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful.] [🌌]

[11:45 pm]

"y/n. i'm really tired. maybe you should go alone."

changbin muttered tiredly under his soft and embracing covers which seemed so delicious for a man who had been busy working for seven hours straight, his feet poking out from the covers because it was covering all of his head.

"it wouldn't be fun then... i didn't remember that you were tired. i really wanted us to go for a stroll upon the streets and the hill back there across the park. i wanted to do something for you, like pay stuff for you completely, you know."

"and why's that?" he whined and breathed into his fluffy pillow, pretending not to know.

"your birthday, you asshat."

"but you've already given me some stuff this morning..."

"not enough. you always ask to pay for me. not fair." you stated, feeling like a mom. you wanted to make him feel like the most precious and protected person on his birthday, to reciprocate the care he had always given you with willing. the day wherein he was born twenty years ago, the day where the stars had connected to gawk down and take care, meanwhile handing the multiple wonders of talent down to a little boy.

you wonder if his stars had also noticed your stars that you guys would meet on a faithful day.

"well. good night, love." the endearing words left your lips as you exhaled sadly while pulling the door out and had just walked a few steps only to meet with a slight accidental push from someone.

"nevermind. lets stroll."

without a second for you to comprehend and make out who was pushing you, a slightly cracked voice called.

"changbin?"

"come on, princess. i made up my mind. it'd be fine anyways. i've had enough sleep." he said, locking the door as you two beckoned to get out of the house.

---

[12:00 am]

the slightly chilly air of autumn swept over the affectionate connection the two of you. your hands never left along with the little night exercise you two were doing.

"changbin," you started. "how was the day?"

"great, everyone was wishing me happy birthday. chan gave me a big ass pan because he wanted me to continue to learn how to cook." the boy confessed, eyes looking forward to avoid the embarrassment.

you mocked his confession, "ohhh, he should be!"

"oh my god, shut." changbin chuckled while hitting your arm, making you hit back because of reflex.

the laughter was still lingering among you two when the bell of the convenience store rang as a respond to your appearance.

"I CAN COOK! i can make a lot of dishes now." he laughed loudly, making you two seemed like two annoying pricks messing up the quiet space.

"funny how you're learning to cook because of embarrassment."

"no. actually, it's just a particle. the main reason is because..."

you made no response, eyeing the mischevious and incomprehensive glint in his brown eyes, those who were now avoiding your gaze.

"i want to cook for you, you know..."

you let out a mere laugh. "oh changbin, i can cook too. but, thanks, i guess. it's good because both of us never actually cook and need delivery. mainly because i'm lazy, but still."

"and you shouldn't be cooking for me. we should all know how to cook. i should've learnt sooner." he stated with a strong voice.

"okay, mister rich boy."

both of you laughed, picking up some spices. "im paying today, changbin. shut up."

---

[12:45 am]

"do you like to go up there? like fly to the moon?"

"no, i wouldn't want to die."

"oh my god... you're so dumb."

now, you two lovebirds were laying down the surprisingly soft grass, on the hills behind the central park.

it was a moment of silence, his shadow seemed to be bursting out with gleam, matching the starry sky, even though it was a very dark and shadowy scenery.

changbin's outline was there, like a sketch the angels have drawn before, his nose, his delicate lips and his masculine jawline, the fluttering eyelashes moving elegantly under his fringe. you loved how the wind was sweeping past his face, revealing his forehead and a pretty smile of pleasure on his face.

every exhale he put out, the way his veins moved merely under his skin, his hand never leaving yours ever since you had been there on the hills, everything about him was so gorgeously planted on by love and care from mother nature.

his eyes seemed to speak his soul, with a child-like wonder gawking at the extraordinary and massively addictive night scene, as if you two were immersed into the sky with a big hug from the universe, matching you next to each other, shining brightly as well. stars fated, never leaving each other as lives kept reincarnating and envolving, and never leave each other, through deaths and reborns.

at the moment you met each other, you started to have a calm and balanced life-style. he kept you company, he made you feel free but still protected. seo changbin, he made you feel great.

"now can you look away now?"

"oh."

the annoying cocky eyebrow raise was there, as a organic representation of the word "asshole."

"oh, shut, y/n. stop fucking staring, i swear. you love me too much."

"and what about it, son?"

"so you need punishment!" he joked, moving inches closer, until your nose was on his, the sound of breathing connecting you.

"y/n. i love you."

"i know."

"no, it's not just 'i love you.' it's more like a kind of 'i love you so much i can't resist' kinda thing. i'm happy you're here with me. i love your company. you give me euphoria."

"changbin..."

"and i think, as cheesy as it sounds, you're essential. you help me understand more about myself. you make me, me. and i think that it's enough for someone perfect as you to be deserving love. you know that kind of middle school first cringey crush? well, i had felt that way when i first met you, it came in reverse all over again. it was so exciting."

"you helped me understand love novels, love lyrics i was contemplating about if i would ever get and write them myself. but now i could. because you give me the same feelings i never knew i needed so much that i came to ignore. but you solved it. you make me feel safe even without you around all the time. that is self-company AND love at the same time."

"it's not like i'm moon and you're star. it feels more like we're both stars, helping each other shine. no attachments, no angry fascination for just a short time. it's long and andearing, the more i realize as i fall in love with you each day. i'm happy i met you."

without a second word, you could feel a soft tear run down your eye at the way he was talking so fast with ebullience, without having to brood nor wonder.

falling into his embrace, you were ecstatic. it was his birthday, but he was giving you so much.

"changbin. shut up."

"so, i'm fine with you here." the words left his lips as he planted the softest kiss onto your lips, it felt like ineffable silk and honey.

"y/n, i'm crying seeing you cry. stop crying."

"fucking coward. just cry you asshat."

- tina

[stormcrawler75]

“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.” for prinxiety pretty pleaaaase?

Virgil forced his eyes back open as they slipped closed for the tenth time in just the last few minutes. He just wanted to finish this section of this book and then he would go to sleep. 

He was lying down in the room Roman had made for the two of them so neither of them would have to go through the effects of staying in the other’s room for too long. Roman was still downstairs, finishing up a movie night with the other Sides.

Virgil had tried to get through the whole night but started drifting off halfway through their first movie. Roman had glanced down at him and whispered in Virgil’s ear to go to bed and he’d be up as soon as him and the others finished up. Virgil had thought about refusing, wanting nothing more than to cuddle up to his boyfriend and watch Tangled, but ultimately decided to do what Roman suggested and said goodnight to the others, sinking down into his shared room to get some well-deserved rest.

But, now it was two hours later and instead of closing his eyes and getting some sleep, he was still awake making his way through one of Roman’s hundreds of poetry books in half awake stubbornness. He didn’t even notice when Roman sunk up and changed into his pyjamas, hissing in surprise when the book was plucked from his hands and placed gently on the bedside table. 

Roman hummed and slide a bookmark in where Virgil left off. “You’re exhausted, my Prince. I thought you were going to sleep.” Virgil pouted at him and pointed a finger at Roman in sleepy irritation. 

“I wanted to read some of that book first,” Virgil grumbled. “And, it’s... not completely boring.” Some of the poetry was actually really dark and interesting.

Roman chuckled in amusement. “I’m happy you’re enjoying my poetry books, my Love. If you’d like, I’ll read you some of its contexts tomorrow.” Virgil smiled softly at the thought and Roman cupped his face in his hands. “After you go to sleep.” 

Virgil groaned and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m perfecting fine! I can stay awake a little while longer, Ro!” Roman slipped into bed and pulled Virgil into his arms. Virgil fought to keep his eyes open.

“Are you sure you’re not even a little tired, my sweet Prince?” Roman teased, making Virgil’s cheeks light up in a soft pink color. “Your words aren’t spoken as eloquently as they usually are. In fact, I’m hearing a little slur in your voice. Isn’t that what happens when you’re tired, Sweet One?”

Virgil grumbled incomprehensibly and buried his face in Roman’s shoulder. Roman laughed and cuddled Virgil close. “You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.” He kissed the side of Virgil’s head. “However, as much as I enjoy speaking to you when you’re like this, I believe you need some sleep.” He snapped his fingers, turning off the lights and turning off the little nightlight near the door. 

Virgil groaned but closed his eyes, drifting asleep to the feel of Roman’s fingers running his fingers through his hair and him humming a quiet tune in Virgil’s ear.

Give me a fluffy request, please!

Taglist Under Cut

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[toxic-lucky]

Can i just ask for family fluff with the first character that comes to ur mind rn?

Did I hear,,,,,, proposal?!?!?!

Below the cut because this is three pages long-

“Kate!” Vincent yelled, picking up the youngest of the Ambers who was currently trying to catch a butterfly and nearly fell into a rose bush.

Ace chuckled at his dad’s worried boyfriend, full well knowing that the rose bush would let Kate pass and not hurt her.

“She’s fine Vince! L-Let her down!” Ace yelled from the table where he was slowly drinking his energy drink- Rockstar. Kate kicked around in in the older man’s arms. Vincent just gave Ace a confused look but put her down anyways and let the little 7 year old run about again in the park with the dog- Bambi, an English Mastiff- that barked and chased her.

Zane grumbled something incomprehensible, sounding like ‘this is bullshit’ from where he sat opposite of Ace.

“Oh shush you,” Ace poked Zane’s forehead earning him a slap on the hand, “dad needs us to k-keep him bu-usy while he’s out with Amelia preparing everything.”

“Doesn’t make any of this less stupid,” Zane huffed, “why make such a big deal?”

Ace slapped Zane’s arm lightly, “Zane!”

“I’m just spitting facts.” Zane defended.

“Your sp-p-pitting us unwanted.” Ace grumbled as Zane flipped him off. Ace was about to continue but Vincent woke up so he shot a 'be quiet’ look at Zane who merely rolled his eyes.

“How do none of you sleep yet have so much energy?” Vincent huffed, sitting down as Kate and Bambi continued to run around.

Ace just raised his energy drink as if to give a cheers, “it’s a family secret.”

“You lot have too many of those.” Vincent chuckled.

Ace shrugged as Zane became much more focused on his phone.

“Dad wants us back home.” Zane announced, turning off the screen before looking up at the two.

“This early? I thought he would still be at work?” Vincent hummed, standing up anyways, “I’ll drive you all back, I need to pick Kia up from a friend’s house and it’s on the way.”

“Please?” Ace smiled at Vincent, “I know Dad’ll be ha-appy to see you.”

“I’d hope he be.” Vincent smiled back as Zane got up and whistled, gaining the attention from both the dog and his little sister.

“Home time!” Zane snapped, motioning for the both of them to come over. Bambi was quick to start bounding over but Kate huffed and just sat down on the grass, refusing.

“I’ll get h-her,” Ace sighed, “just give me a minute, I’ll meet you two by the car?”

Vincent and Zane nod, heading off. Ace silently hoped Zane wouldn’t let anything slip.

“Kate, it’s time to go home…” Ace crouched by the girl who just crossed her arms and huffed louder.

“Come on, you’ll get to see Kia and Dad.”

“I don’t wanna go home.” Kate mumbled.

“Why not?” Ace asked.

“'Cause Dad’s gunna propose and then forget about us and get a new family.” Kate confessed, causing Ace to shake his head, just a little bit amused and boggled at how children’s minds worked.

“Tha-at’s not how proposals work…” Ace reassured, “Vincent is a nice dude, and Dad really loves him. That doesn’t mean that D-Dad doesn’t love you too, it’s just a different kind of love.”

Kate merely puffed out her cheeks in response.

“If you want, I can talk to Dad for you,” Ace offered, “I c-can tell him how you feel if you don’t want to tell hi-im yourself.”

“…Fine.” Kate mumbled, standing up, “you better not be wrong.”

“When am I wrong?” Ace asked, grabbing Kate’s hand and leading her to the car.

“When you try to help me with my geography homework.” Kate responded without missing a beat, “and when you said the cookies had to be baked for 20 minutes instead of 10, and-”

“Alright, alright, I get it.” Ace chuckled, “I am wrong a lot, but not on this. People I understand, distance? Not so much.”

Kate nodded, squeezing her brother’s hand. They walked together in silence before a car honked its horn at them, and Ace glanced over at Vincent and Zane- who was sitting shotgun.

“Come on, hop in.” Vincent smiled at the duo, who did as told.

“Traitor.” Ace huffed as he passed Zane.

“First come, first serve.” Zane rolled his eyes in response.

The car ride was silent otherwise, occasionally filled with the old 70’s music Vincent played and Kate laughing happily whenever Bambi did something- most of that was trying to climb up to sit on Ace’s lap before barking in his face. They stopped at Kia’s friend’s house to pick her up, though the Ambers remained in the car and let Vincent deal with his 5 year old daughter and her friends. Once Kia was buckled into the car, they continued, but this time Kia and Kate started talking about Winx club, and other kids shows but it was mostly Winx club.

Once the group pulled into the driveway, Ace was quick to get out of the car and help the younger kids out.

“You know we’re just staying for a minute, right? Why are you so excited?” Vincent asked Ace who shrugged.

“Maybe I just want to go take a nap.”

Vincent just nodded at that information as they all entered the house. Well, not all. Amelia came out of the house a bit rushed and tried to slow down Vincent from entering. Ace and Zane, who knew 100% of what was going on and the plan, remained unbothered and lead the tiny kids inside and into the family room to watch the show they’ve been talking about the entire ride to give the adults some space.

Pine was sitting nervously on the stairs when Zane came back to the front, and gave his Dad a reassuring smile.

“What’s taking Vince so long?” Pine asked quietly, the nerves were obvious in his voice.

“Amelia thought you needed some time to… mentally prepare yourself,” Zane shrugged, “she’s talking to him about cars.”

“Ah…” Pine nodded, fidgeting with his sleeves.

“Chill Dad, it’s just Vince, you two have been dating for like, 3 years now.” He attempted to reassure, though it didn’t seem to calm the tired adult. Zane patted his Dad’s arm before leaving the room, hearing Amelia and Vincent still chatting as they came to the front door.

“I believe you two have something to discuss…” Amelia trails off as she closed the front door, smiling at the two men before also leaving them. In an instant, Pine was standing and finding himself at a loss of words.

“Oh… is something the matter?” Vincent asked, looking at his boyfriend with worry.

“No- no, everything is great- it’s wonderful,” Pine shook his head, “I just-”

“…Just?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Of course, and I love you too.” Vincent nods, giving him a more confused look.

Pine smiled, a bit of pink tinting his cheeks, “let me speak.”

Vincent only nodded, yet to notice Pine’s hands behind his back.

“I love you more than I thought I could- more than I though I ever would love someone. Whenever I get the chance to see you, I feel like I’m suffering from cardiac arrest-”

“I don’t think that’s healthy…” Vincent chuckled.

“Chut,” Pine hushed, “you know what I mean.”

“Do I?” Vincent raised an eyebrow, causing Pine to puff out his cheeks in annoyance. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, continue, go on.”

“Thank you,” Pine sighed, glancing literally everywhere but Vincent, “I would do anything for you, and I know it’s hard sometimes to find some time to sit down and take a breather because our lives are hectic, which is why I’m stopping myself from going on and on for ten hours-”

“Ten hours?” Vincent mumbled.

“About everything about you that I fell in love with, and other cheesy things because I don’t want to embarrass you…” Pine paused, taking the small box he was hiding behind his back and kneeling down.

“Pine…” Vincent mumbled, tearing up as a smile started to grow on his face.

“But I figured I can save all that for a wedding,” Pine opened the box, revealing a sapphire cut into a heart on a silver band that looked like a wreathe. “Vincent Greens, I love you more an anything in the world, I am so lucky I have met you and that you’re in my life. Will you make me the happiest man in the universe and let me have the honour of calling you my husband?”

At this point, Vincent was crying, trying to cover both his smile and his tears as he started laughing. “Pine… Pine, honey, I love you so much, of course I’ll marry you… But I thought I was going to propose first…”

At that, Pine was now the one that was confused, as Vincent dug into his jacket pocket and held a ring box. Now both adults were laughing, grinning like idiots, as Pine pressed soft kisses on Vincent’s face as they both put on the rings.

“I guess you’re my ex-boyfriend now…?” Pine mumbled, leaning against Vincent who chuckled with a sigh.

“We were having a moment, honey. You hit it with a sledgehammer.”

Pine just laughed, hugging Vincent tightly.

“I love you so much…”

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 3 scene 2)

masterlist

hamlet’s play!! im excited! his plan is dumb but at least it’s a bit original

again i feel like shakespeare is continually @ -ing other... play... people... with how people are talking about plays in this play

“HAMLET: o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players that I have seen play, ... that I have thought some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, they imitated humanity so abominably.” hamlet is REALLY roasting these fellows huh

“HAMLET: What ho! Horatio!” (same thing but written in all caps with several exclamation marks)

“HORATIO: Here, sweet lord...” askjdsksk

yes i wrote that out. in cursive.

...i .... i think i just witnessed hamratio become canon

‘Danish march.’ what the fuck is a danish march

“HAMLET: Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish: I eat the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so.” my friends/me when i ask them/they ask me if they’ve/i’ve eaten recently

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me. HAMLET: No, good mother.” hamlet must’ve time traveled into the future, gotten surveilance gear, and used it specifically to annoy them by thwarting their plans/obfuscating with such ease

or else, hamlet realized that ther only have one plan (have someone talk to him and spy on them!!!11!!!) and won’t fall for it

plus time travel hadn’t been invented yet

actually linear time is fake especially when time travel is invented. but then hasn’t it technically been invented already?

okay okay back in track

hamlet oh my god him talking with ophelia just

hamlet oh jeez

“HAMLET: Look you, how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died within these two hours. OPHELIA: Nay, 'tis twice two months, my lord.” oh dear god that took a sharp turn downhill 

damn that play was... pretty on-the-nose, no?

oh my god it was only an acted SUMMARY this is gonna get better/worse isnt it ajdkjkjk

“OPHELIA: 'Tis brief, my lord. HAMLET: As woman's love.” ouch

OOOOH the now-non-rhyme of sheen/been!!! this is so exciting for me!!! omg im gonna try and read in OP (original pronunciation)

moon and done rhyme!!! I LOVE THIS

FEAR/THERE!! that doesnt occur in my dialect!!!!

“Player Queen: Such love must needs be treason in my breast: In second husband let me be accurst! None wed the second but who kill'd the first.” dAMN

“HAMLET: [Aside] Wormwood, wormwood.” apparently this means ~‘damn, harsh’ (via NFS) and honestly same

“Player Queen: A second time I kill my husband dead, When second husband kisses me in bed.” damn these actors are NOT taking shortcuts!!

speak/break rhymes!!!! how does that work!!! well actually i have a good idea but idk how to ipa vowels yet so just imagine u know what im talking abt

god i wish i had the stress beats. or had been taught/been able to figure out how the fuck iambic pentameter works

my teacher fucking walked up and asked me if i was writing in a journal and jfc fight or flight occured. i told him im writing down my favorite quotes from something im reading. 

prove/love!!!! flies/enemies & fly/enemy!!!! enemy & derivatives must have stress on the last syllable!!!!!! i love this!!!!

god hamlet’s back at it with ophelia and honestly i dont have the words

HAMLETS PLAN IS WORKING WHAT

so i guess you can say.... king claud clawed the king?

btw totally imagining this whole scene hamlet just having this. shit-eating grin, totally enjoying the show, while everyone else is confused, concerned, wary or angry

“HAMLET: Why, let the stricken deer go weep, The hart ungalled play; For some must watch, while some must sleep: So runs the world away.” wait. does weep and sleep actually rhyme here? cool!!!!

shit that rhymes in MY ENGLISH what the fuck is wrong with me

“GUILDENSTERN: The queen, your mother, in most great affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you. HAMLET: You are welcome.” okay this might not be how it is but from how im reading it hamlet said ‘you’re welcome’ like guildenstern was thanking hamlet to give him reason to bask in hamlet’s presence and if so HAMLET JUST FUCKING MURDERED GUILDENSTERN

“ROSENCRANTZ: She desires to speak with you in her closet.”  look i know there’s a language barrier reason for ‘closet’ being used in the way it is but i cant get over it. its like conducting business in a wardrobe. i keep on laughing. its the cocks all over again

“HAMLET: We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have you any further trade with us?” oh my gOD he switched to plural pronouns for himself (incomprehensible scribble)

“ROSENCRANTZ: My lord, you once did love me.” oh my god rosencrantz is hamlet’s ex

this scene gets gayer and gayer w/ each subsequent line

oh my god hamlet murdered guildenstern AGAIN with a fucking INSTRUMENT METAPHOR!!!!

“HAMLET: Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel? LORD POLONIUS: By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed. HAMLET: Methinks it is like a weasel. LORD POLONIUS: It is backed like a weasel. HAMLET: Or like a whale? LORD POLONIUS: Very like a whale.” hamlet you crafty, salty-as-fuck bastard, i love you

annnnd scene! dang okay shit’s picking up, i just really hope that the One-Planned Idiots get foiled and confused once more because every time it happens its hilarious 

masterlist

[17-imagines]

[request] [scenario] home

((was this... accomodating OTL i am so drained from studying ;; i luv u cheese anon))

Title: home

Member: seungkwan

Genre: fluff fluff fluff // domestic au + established relationship 

Word Count: 1007

Seungkwan feels like he’s finally gone insane after being in the practice room for six hours straight, perfecting Soonyoung’s choreography for Highlight, which, by the way, is the most exhausting song he’s ever danced to. His feet ache, his thighs hurt, and his lungs burn.

He swears if he hears Soonyoung call him out for not bending his knees low enough, he’s going to bend Soonyoung in half.

“You look ready to commit a murder,” Seokmin grins, tossing Seungkwan a water bottle that bounces off the blonde’s stomach and rolls off towards a sweaty Chan. Chan rolls the bottle back, and Seungkwan takes it, pressing the cold plastic to his face.

“If we have to stay in this room any longer, I will commit a murder.” Seungkwan jumps when his cell phone buzzes, snatching it off the charger, ignoring the smug grin on Seokmin’s face.

“Don’t worry,” Seokmin takes a swig of water, swallowing it before continuing, “Soonyoung knows how you get when you run low on (F/N).” Seungkwan kicks the air in front of Seokmin, scrunching his face into a look of annoyance. “You know it’s true. You get cranky and irritable. Like, right now.”

[11:50 PM] (F/N)-ah: im tired [11:51 PM] seungkwannie: go to sleep? ill be home soon, ill wake you up [11:51 PM] (F/N)-ah: nonono i want to wait for you

“Ew. Gross,” Jihoon gags, looking over Seungkwan’s shoulder. Seungkwan drops his phone into his lap, startled. Jihoon backs away, laughing.

“Hyung!” He whines, “Aish, I get no privacy here!”

“Privacy?” Seungcheol scoffs, placing a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder, “Seungkwan, we had two bathrooms predebut. We’ve literally seen your -”

“Okay, thanks, stop,” Seungkwan protests, covering his ears, “Can I go now?”

“Yeah, you’re already showing withdrawal symptoms,” Soonyoung grins, dodging the water bottle Seungkwan chucks at him. “My point exactly.”

Seungkwan gathers his things, shoves them haphazardly into his bag, and quickly says his goodbyes to his members and manager before bolting out the door and waving down a taxi.

He arrives at the apartment the two of you share at around 12:30 AM, cursing as he fumbles with the security keypad, entering the wrong code twice before gaining access.

The TV light covers the living room with a dim glow, a rerun of a drama playing. He’s not surprised to see you fast asleep, phone in hand, head leaning against the back of the couch.

He drops his bag and presses a kiss to the top of your head, laughing when you swat weakly at his touch, incomprehensible mumbling leaving your lips.

“You said you’d wait for me,” he mutters as you fully awake, finding him leaning over you. He has an undeniably soft pout on his face as he complains, eyes shut out of exhaustion.

You lean up and kiss his pouty lips, dry from hours of sweating at practice and lack of hydration. He lets out a squeak and holds a hand over his lips, a playful glare on his expression.

“Hey, that’s cheating,” he says, slipping over the top of the couch, too tired to walk around. He pulls you into him, your head against his shoulder and his hand in yours. He presses light, fluttering kisses onto your head, inhaling the fresh scent of your freshly washed hair, cold against his lips.

“How was practice?” You muse, your free hand rising to trace his jawline, rubbing his cheek softly and letting out a light chuckle when he leans into the touch.

“Long,” he responds, “I missed you so much I could’ve died. Well, not me necessarily, but… Let’s just say Soonyoung-hyung would be lying in a pool of his own blood if he made us do another run-through.”

You laugh at that, because knowing the drama-queen of a boyfriend you have, he’s exaggerating.

“I missed you too,” you smile, leaning into the kiss he presses against your cheek, content. “But I don’t want to fall asleep out here like last time.”

He winces at the memory of the both of you waking up on the floor below the couch, in a heap of pillows and blankets. He had to attend practice with a stiff back and a throb in his shoulder, while you had to attend classes with a stiff neck and sore arm.

“I should shower first,” he yawns, reluctantly releasing you from his embrace. The lack of warmth is unsettling, but he’d rather not make you reek of his sweat. “I’ll join you in a few, okay?”

Again, he’s not surprised to see you dozing off, phone in hand as you desperately cling to consciousness. He takes a seat on his side of the bed, the soft cushion sinking below his weight. As he dries his hair, he feels you tug at his sweater.

“‘Kwannie,” you mumble, eyelids heavy as you glance up at him, “Hurry up.”

“And I thought I missed you more,” he teases, tossing his hair towel towards the laundry basket. He enters the covers, arms wrapping around your figure to pull you into him.

He presses his forehead to yours, smiling bashfully. “I love coming home to this,” he says, “I love coming home to you.” He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, laughing when your soft expression melts into a pouty glare.

“I love you,” he states, hand caressing your cheek, and you quietly mumble back an ‘I love you too’ as he continues. “Without you, well, I’d probably still be sharing two bathrooms with 12 other guys,” he chuckles, “and I wouldn’t have anyone to do this to.”

He runs a thumb over your bottom lip before pressing his lips to yours, breath fresh and minty, lips soft and rehydrated.

The kiss is sweet and slow, not a quick peck or anything too intense.

 You have all the time in the world, and each other.

He can’t wait to repeat the process all over again, tomorrow.

He just hopes it’s vocal practice, because currently, he can’t feel his legs.

bonus: 

[6:45 AM] 1004 mom: hello sons it is time to get up [6:46 AM] jihoonie: n o [6:47 AM] 17’s daddy: y e s [6:47 AM] 17’s daddy: where r u jihoon [6:48 AM] jihoonie: studio [6:49 AM] 17’s daddy: coming [6:50 AM] jihoonie: ……………… [6:51 AM] 1004 mom: u nasty there are children here [6:52 AM] jihoonie: u thought of it too

[7:00 AM] won-uwu: everyone at the dorm is up [7:01 AM] vernOFF: unfortunately [7:02 AM] vernOFF: seungkwan. is not awake [7:03 AM] dj boo: hello [7:04 AM] vernOFF: jk [7:04 AM] dj boo: no ur right he’s not awake he’s on TOP of me and i am STUCK [7:05 AM] 17’s daddy: oh. hello (f/n) [7:06 AM] vernOFF: rip [7:07 AM] jihoonie: rip [7:07 AM] chan: rip [7:07 AM] ming-how: rip [7:07 AM] jun-who: rip [7:07 AM] ming-ew: rip [7:07 AM] won-uwu: rip [7:07 AM] kwon fire: rip [7:07 AM] josh hong: rip [7:07 AM] seokmin: rip [7:08 AM] dj boo: i hate u all, actually [7:08 AM] dj boo: fine im going back to sleep too bye [7:09 AM] 17’s daddy: WE HAVE A SCHEDULE AT 7:30 WAKE hIM UP [7:10 AM] 17’s daddy: aaaand she’s gone [7:10 AM] 1004 mom: rip [7:11 AM] 17’s daddy: …. [7:11 AM] 17’s daddy: rip