#im refreshing the ao3 twice a day

[rabdoidal]

FUCK netflix for every reason imaginable but god. catking deadboydetectives being exactly my type of character is ruining my LIFE i have THINGS TO DO and im just thinking about that horrible little bisexual man

[raeneeeee]

random ryoji thing

[lieutnt]

YOU! i’m not high anymore and like looking back my comment wasn’t that weird but i will say it wasn’t NEARLY appreciative enough. i repeated the straight from my brain thinf twice bc it literally felt like someone had written out and giftwrapped all the little fantasies that i luxuriate through during late nights (and throughout the day lbr). anywyas i looked thru the x reader tag hoping i was mistaken abt what i assumed was in it and there were more like yours but apparently not </3 (open to recs tho im desperate here) anayways thanks again for a good time i hope ur icy drinks are refreshing and ur hot drinks comforting <3<3<3 - ⚡️🥤 (my main tumblr isn’t connected to my ao3 account lol)

Thank you again for the comments, they were super nice!

If you’re looking for more stuff like mine, I’d definitely recommend searching through the ‘top male reader’ or ‘top reader’ tags. You may have to block ‘bottom male reader’ if you’re exclusively looking for top reader stuff because tumblr’s tagging system is just that great and they sometimes manage to slip through.

I can definitely recommend some blogs to follow! Are you looking exclusively for writers for Call of Duty or are you interested in other fandoms as well?

[papersong]

Im literally so DUMB EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTEEER catch me going back to the permanently open chicago & tokyo tab and refreshing twice a day so i can catch the second it updates.

Ello, thank you for reaching out! It would be next Sunday at the soonest. In the meantime, have a preview of reader getting ready to gaslight gatekeep girlboss her way into homeownership in Japan :3

..........

On that thought, Tomioka is rather normal-looking, unlike all the men you've met in Japan. Though he has blue eyes, the Rengokus look like walking flames, Himejima is seven feet tall, Uzui is, well, flamboyant, Iguro has bicolor eyes over his bandage-mask, and Shinazugawa is Shinazugawa.

If you passed Tomioka on the street, you might mistake him for an ordinary person. On top of a relatively unremarkable appearance, Tomioka is also quiet and good at putting off people trying to ask questions. The water hashira is almost painfully forgettable, which is exactly what you need in a fake husband.

..........

chicago & tokyo (link to AO3) is actually a Rengoku x Reader fic (sorry Tomioka) where reader is a thousand-year-old bootlegger living in 1920's Prohibition-Era Chicago. She eventually gets to Japan through a series of unfortunate events including: - Rengoku showing up dying in her living room. - Akaza showing up dying in her living room. - Both recovering, then immediately attempting to kill her.

[sunseteyes]

↪︎ firstly, i’d like to say that i have already cleared out my inbox because of the new rules i’ve set. don’t worry because i left out a few of the ones i’m working on and i promise to post them during january. i’ll be closing my requests for a bit but they’ll be re-opened by next year.

↪︎ second, i’d like to say thank you. there are many people whom i’ve met here that are so kind and sweet. all of you deserves praise for spreading such positivity and motivating me to stay here,

↪︎ but thirdly, i’d announce that i will be on a short break on tumblr, probably a few days of refreshing my mind again, hang out with my grandparents. be me. i realized just how tired i keep getting whenever i don’t see any notifications, interactions and when i do, i just am so tired to answer them. it’s unfair to all of you. to the anons who keep calling me out for the smallest things, i don’t blame you. i know i’m an imperfect person, but they just come at the times that i am so down and everything gets messed up. my mind is such a messy place that i start to realize; i am losing who i am. i can write, but i lost the passion to run this blog anymore. if i keep going up to people’s standards without standing up for myself, isn’t that such a cruel life? i wanted to deactivate, but it would just mean i’ve given up. i’m not giving up on myself, and i hope you guys won’t too.

↪︎ lastly, i’d like to thank all the people tagged under this line. you guys made me want to always log in here and do what i have always been passionate about ever since i was ten. even with this pandemic and distance, you made my days.

@/all my character anons — each one of you made me smile at least once in my lifetime and i really really appreciate you all. even if you only came here once, twice or more, thank you. thank you so so much. i will forever be grateful of each and every one of you.

@liliannyah — nia, honey, baby, my soulmate, my sister from another mother, even if we only met a month ago (wait was it a month or two?), talking to you had always made me smile. you have no idea how thankful i am that i met you and how i always look forward in chatting you. i love you with my whole heart. if we ever meet each other in japan, i’ll let you meet my future spouse and treat you sjsjns

@kuroolongtea — hi jin! i never call you any endearments bc i saw in one of your about me’s that you’d rather be called your name hehe i always take note of that :D also, i’d like to thank you for being really really kind to me and acted like an older irl friend tho you’re indeed older than me ahhaha. you, jin, are one of the most treasured friends in this app. thank you for listening to my rants and even when i broke down. i’ll always be grateful of you. i love you so much, i wish you always the best, miss jin!

@brinthie — hi brin bb!! we haven’t been talking lately but remember that i am always here for you and that i will forever remain in debt of you. because of you, i am here on tumblr. your comments on my ao3? it really pushed me to write here, and ohgod i am still surprised that you, the writer of the ao3 collection i literally binged for a lot of days, was the one who i’ve talked to almost everyday? it’s fate honey haha. let’s see each other when we can irl :D i love you forever, have a great 2021!

@deephasoceanmagic — deep baby honestly i was so shy to interact at first but omg you’re like so so so sweet and kind and i just love you so so much! let us only child’s stick together ok?? also, i’m sorry i haven’t been checking up on you for awhile but i’m always here for you ok?? if you’re feeling lonely, i’m just one chat away!

@elysianslove — sal!! you are my favorite author here and i am so glad to have been talking to you aaaa i love you so much and this is to more interactions & convos with you in the future <3 love you so much honey !!

@minibobabottle @tinytravelerkitten @giyuus-wife — you guys have my gratefulness and my heart. thank you thank you thank you always for checking up on me and making me feel special🥺🥺 kieran, ai, wifey mia, i am touched that you always check up on me daily !!!!! you guys have no idea how thankful i am for that. i promise to be good to you guys🥺🥺🥺 i love you <3

@olsenholic @animatedarchives @basketofgoldie @owlywrites @ushi-please @bokoutoe @solstxces @mrs-kuroojinguji @todominica @oikaw-ugh @kawaiinishii @tsuhika @amoroushero @hajimine — hello lovelies !! you guys are probably one of those whom i interact the most in here and i would like to say: you guys are SPECIAL and i am so happy to have the opportunity to meet all of you. i hope we could be closer and i promise to have your backs always <3 i’m here for all of you, i’m literally just one chat/ask away !! i love you all~

@osamuskitten @xxacatalepsy @lyssors — hey babies thanks so much for checking up on me and for the character anon interactions🥺 im so honored that you chose to be a character anon for me and i hope you had fun rp-ing with me👉🏼👈🏼 til next time !! ilysm~

@unlasting @sunakissses @flairlust @yamagucji @katsukichu @gg9183 @prettysetterbaby @bimbobabeyy @paradise-creator @necr0misis @bokutosworld @ordinary-ace @iwas-angel @oikawasbliss @iwaisa @unloviing — hello!!! even if we just met like almost recently and it’s really nice to meet you all!! my asks/dms are always always welcome! plus, don’t mind me stopping by your asks too because i do that often esp if i see you on my dash hehe

(part two here but they have the same content anyway so there’s no need to see it.)

also, for any of you who’s reading this, I LOVE YOU. always stay safe, hydrated, and having a decent meal daily <3 wishing you all to have a lovely day/week/year! for anyone who’d like to know my discord, it’s kengela#1783 !! do tell me thru dm’s tho if you’re sending a request so that i’ll know who you are hahah

[spotsupstuff]

🥺 vibe check my baby shithead?

bless... its my sibwing time...

Why I like them:

what the fuck is there not to like about them, lets be honest. their personality is unique when compared to other bvs. i lowkey always hoped id get to see a bv that would be more bold, angry, just more sharp towards the world. most of bvs that ive seen before joining the creating part of the fandom were soft shy kids that didnt want to hurt anybody. its valid to characterize bc like that, but it was everywhere. lost was like the polaris in the entirety of the fandom. learning about them was refreshing, comforting, it felt and still feels safe to consider and think about them. they feel real, i feel like i could meet them on the street in a playground and become friends with them. you made them so real and important to me. ive said this plenty in the server, but theyve helped me through a lot of hard times. i was too sad or anxious or scared to come out of bed? i thought about them interacting with broken and i felt better. i was in a lot of pain? thinking about them helped distracting me and getting me through a lot of it. im so so thankful for their existence and even more so for your willingness to interact, rp and vibe with me. i love lost so much.

Why I don’t:

their clinginess sometimes worries me. they are valid in it, but clingy people generally make me Slightly uncomfy bc i have times where id rather not be touched and i have trouble speaking up because i dont wanna offend or hurt. broken is the same and i fear the day they will have to disappoint lost by turning away a hug or a cuddle session. the mixture of natural understandable clinginess and anger can result in a sort of manipulation. unintentional, but still manipulation

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

,,,ill be mildly self-indulgent and say that the scene where them and broken adopted each other, overlaying with the morning after, is perhaps my favorite thing ever. BUT!! i liked the scene with them shunning ghost out of oros hut. it established their thoughts and determination to Keep things important to them away from people that had hurt them.

Favorite season/movie:

the ENTIRE FUCKIN FIC THATS ABOUT THEM GETTIN FROM THE ANCIENT BASIN TO ORO. bro ive checked ao3 like every morning when the second chapter was still in the wip bin, i just couldnt wait for it kgjslkgjsldkk the amount of details to the struggles and the size of torment expressed through your words was so so real and i couldnt get enough of it. im incredibly thankful for that fic and for all the feelings it stirred up in me wee heart

Favorite line:

”I mean you’re a clown. do I need to say it slooooowwwweeerr?” the beginning of an age...

“don’t ever pull Us together like that, ever again” theres a lot to unpack here and boy, im keepin the entire suitcase right in my lap and i WILL think and dive deep into it with my thoughts

Favorite outfit:

theyve got One but they sure be rockin in and i -cocks designer gun- have Some ideas for that second cloak that net would make them so i Hope that will follow close behind their og look

OTP:

this lil creachure is fifteen, i only ship them with safety and parental/platonic love and care

Brotp:

them and purl!!! but also them and hornet, even though its not as close of a relationship, it makes me very happy that they arent completely shut off from each other. that lil short story they shared about their first encounter with cain instinct committed by hornet has been inserted into my mind forever out of the RAN universe canon... them and broken for obvious reasons, them and net (ive been LOOKIN for an AGE AND A HALF NOW SO HARD at that relationship) and tbh??? them and junior has been on my mind a Lot lately. ever since the first doodles of junior hiding them with wings in the among us au, ive been considerin n thinkin of scenarios

Head Canon:

-thunk emoji- hmm... theyll never be too great of a flyer. they will be able to do more than just flap once or twice to get over some distances, definitely, but i feel like they will forever prefer ground over the skies. some minor hcs: ,,,they might pick up some sort of sewing from net in the bverse, maybe; their hand writing will/does look like yours; one day, they will do something that will make a giant difference in something important, completely by themself

Unpopular opinion:

i dont fahcken kno how to do these with yalls characters what hte fuck

A wish:

i wish radiance didnt fuck them up so much during Those years. they deserve to get tall and strong, capable of their dads nailarts, big enough to wield a bigass nail like him and suplex broken

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

this is an incredibly unlikely scenario to happen cuz i know you dont like thinkin about the ultimate end of people and characters, but my biggest fear is that one day they will come back from a hunt or a visit to a cold body in their dads bed, with eyes closed to never open again, not giving them the chance to even say goodbye.

5 words to best describe them:

angry, worried, caring, gentle, afraid

My nickname for them:

sibwing... lil star (just like u heehoo), sometimes i think about them as simply “safety” or “comfort”

[reeleev]

200 Messages - KiHyuk

Summary: With Kihyun going away for the next month, Minhyuk’s left without a way to contact him as often as he’d like. And, with Minhyuk being the drama queen he is, he just doesn’t know how to handle it.In celebration of my 200th fic, I wrote this little one shot of one of my fav pairs~! ^^ I hope y’all enjoy! <33

Word Ct: 3720

AO3 Link

“Just don’t go off and meet some hot art student while you’re gone,” was what Minhyuk had wanted to say. But, instead, he barely even managed a small, “Stay safe out there, Kihyunnie,” before the his same-age had gone off to board his plane.

 Now, Minhyuk lies awake, staring up at the squeaky fan on his ceiling as it spins and spins, much like the thoughts filling his mind.

He shouldn’t have chickened out that day. He should’ve grown a spine and told Kihyun how he feels. Now here he is, running the risk of Kihyun meeting some random hot guy in France who’ll then whisk him away, leaving Minhyuk to die alone. He wants so badly to call him, to text him, to contact him in some way. However, it costs too much to use a phone overseas like that, and Kihyun never checks his email.

“Don’t even bother trying to text me, Minhyuk-ah,” Kihyun had nagged at him for the umpteenth time before he left. “I’ll have it set so that I can’t even receive them in the first place. Anything you send me won’t come through until I’m back home.”

Minhyuk plays with his hair as he stews, carding his fingers through the blonde strands. It doesn’t come close to how comforting it is when Kihyun does it…

He sighs in defeat, reaching for his phone. Minhyuk goes first to his photos, trying to rid his mind of his friend—crush—by looking at every silly selfie the slightly-younger has ever sent him, that he and the other have taken together. Of course, that doesn’t work, so he tries going on Instagram and Snapchat… But, of course, among the silly couple selfies Hyunwoo and Hoseok spam his feed with and the random pictures of lyrics Jooheon tends to post, the edgy landscape pictures Changkyun always puts up and the pouty-faced selfies Hyungwon take, there Kihyun is, posting all these fantastic photos of himself off in Paris, having the time of his life on this foreign exchange program.

Finally, Minhyuk sees something in one of the gremlin’s photos that makes him unable to stand it anymore. He goes to his messages and types out a small, “I miss you, Kihyunnie~ I hope your trip is going well <33” and sends it before he can even think twice.

A pretty boy that seems about Kihyun’s age, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the shorter as they smile up at the camera for a selfie. It’s the most recent photo on Kihyun’s profile, and the one that causes a jealousy the likes of which Minhyuk has never before felt in his young life. It burns within him, incinerating away any thoughts of optimism for Kihyun not meeting someone else—because it’s only a month, so who would he meet?

I should’ve just told him… Minhyuk sullenly thinks as he tosses his phone to the side. I should’ve just balled up and told him how I feel. It isn’t as if I didn’t have enough chances… Now, it’s too late.

He falls asleep that night, pouting to the dark due to his own failure.

 “You’re just reading too much into it, hyung,” Hyungwon assures him the next day, sticking his fork into the slice of cake they’re supposed to be sharing. Minhyuk isn’t feeling very hungry, though, and Hyungwon seems more than happy to make the sacrifice of eating the five-layer red velvet slice all by himself. Minhyuk whines, dropping his head to the table with a dull thump.

“He looked so happy, Wonnie,” he mutters, his voice muffled by his own shirt. “And that guy was so handsome… Kihyunnie’s probably working on becoming a permanent exchange student over there so they can stay together forever!” Hyungwon rolls his eyes, shaking his head at his melodramatic friend.

“He’s supposed to make friends while there,” the younger points out as he stuffs the bite passed his plump lips. The icing is a bit thick and sticks to the roof of his mouth. He smacks his lips as he adds, “That’s the whole point of going on this program. Well, that and taking landscape shots, but that’s besides the point. He’s just enjoying his time there. He’ll be back before you know it, and everything will be fine.” He swallows the bite before finishing with, “Maybe this’ll teach you to confess your feelings before your crush leaves the country.”

Minhyuk’s head bolts up, scowling in protest at his dongsaeng.

“I don’t see you rushing to pour your heart out to a certain underclassman,” he spits back, feeling incredibly defensive at being called out. Hyungwon’s brow furrows together, and he slowly takes another bite before responding.

“Don’t snap at me just because you’re feeling insecure about your place with Kihyunnie,” Hyungwon tells him, his voice much lower than normal. His eyes glint with a warning light, and Minhyuk seems to physically deflate. Hyungwon ‘hmmph’s under his breath, shifting in his seat as the older drops his head to the table again. He lets the older stew in silence as he finishes the cake, losing himself to his own thoughts of a certain maknae…

 At the end of the week, to celebrate finishing up finals, Hoseok hosts a typical stress-relief party. It’s on the nicer side of town, in a penthouse overlooking the skyline of Seoul. Booze line the counters, glittering bottles of tequila, vodka, whiskey, and gin reflecting the overhead lights. Fruit juices surround them, providing ample mixers for the liquors. Hyungwon drags Minhyuk there under the pretense of needing a designated driver for their ride back, but really Minhyuk just thinks the younger will need someone to keep him from stripping when he gets drunk… again.

Minhyuk checks his phone as they ride the elevator up on the off-chance Kihyun had turned on his texts for only a moment. After all, he’d been sending countless messages late at night—when his insecurities become too much to bear—telling Kihyun how much he misses him, what reminded him of the younger that day. Really, you’d think the two were already dating from how sappy some of the messages were. But, among all these, Minhyuk still hasn’t found the guts to confess (no matter how obvious it is now).

Hyungwon lets him stare holes into the digitized screen, having given up on keeping the older from making a fool of himself.

The elevator slows to a smooth stop with a small ding, and the doors open directly into Hoseok’s private apartment. Pristine hardwood floors stretch for as long as the eye can see, and a flat screen sits on the far wall of the room with a large sectional in front of it. The bar is off to the left and, despite the small amount of people here, Hyungwon leaves Minhyuk to get a drink. Minhyuk stifles a sigh as he slips his phone into his pocket, chewing on his bottom lip as he drifts towards the couch.

“Minhyukkie!” Hoseok greets as Minhyuk plops down on the plush piece of furniture. “I’m glad you came! I honestly wasn’t sure you would, you know, with Kihyunnie gone and all.” Jooheon, whose sitting beside Hoseok, shoots him a warning look that doesn’t go unnoticed by Minhyuk.

“Hyung,” Jooheon hisses, bumping his knee with the older’s, “Wonnie-hyung said we shouldn’t mention you-know-who…”

“You can talk about Kihyunnie around me,” Minhyuk defends, poking his bottom lip out in a pout. “Why wouldn’t you?” Hoseok glances between his two dongsaengs, chewing on his bottom lip as he’s obviously quite conflicted about who’s words he should obey. His eyes shine with a light akin to that of a frantic bunny’s.

Jooheon sighs defeatedly after a moment, waving as if to give the older permission. Hoseok beams in relief. He leans over to give the younger a chaste kiss on the cheek, and Jooheon immediately blushes in response as he takes a drink from the neon purple plastic cup in his hand. Hoseok coos and pulls at Jooheon’s cheek, calls him a cute little baby, and Jooheon whines about how Hoseok should stop calling him that because it’s all kinds of not cool.

Minhyuk breaks his eyes away from the nauseating couple, standing with a huff at being so easily forgotten. He trudges over to the counter, where Hyungwon seems to have gotten distracted in his quest for refreshment by the transfer student, Im Changkyun. Hyungwon has himself leaned oh-so elegantly against the counter, an eyebrow quirked up as Changkyun seems unable to form a complete sentence without stuttering and blushing like crazy.

At the sight of the birth of a new couple, Minhyuk can’t help the bitterness that rises in his heart. He blindly grabs for a bottle, any bottle, and mixes it with a fruit juice in a plastic cup. He chugs half of it in one gulp. Though, never having been one much for drinking, Minhyuk almost voms out what he’s just consumed in the next second. His empty stomach roils, and a headache immediately begins to form at his left temple.

He ignores it, though, and empties his cup before pouring out another drink, this one containing more alcohol than the first. He winces, taking absolutely no pleasure in the taste of nail polish remover filling his mouth. He plops down with a huff on the nearest bar stool, pulling out his phone as he sends a text to Kihyun with only a slight buzz.

“Kiihhyunniieee~~~ I wish you were able to answer your texts ;-;”

“Um… hyung?” Hyungwon’s voice suddenly asks, causing Minhyuk’s gaze to jerk up at him. He looks concerned, a slight frown pulling at his lips and his gaze filled with a soft light. “You doing okay? You never drink at these things…”

“Even I’m allowed to have fun, Wonnie!” Minhyuk tells him, his voice coming out much louder than he intends. “I can still have fun, even if I’m not some hot French art student!!!” He huffs again, looking back to his phone to type out such a message and send it to Kihyun. Hyungwon watches him for only a moment more before turning back to Changkyun, giving only a half-shrug as he continues their conversation.

He figures if drinking is what Minhyuk needs to do to finally confess to Kihyun, then the older should go for it.

 The rest of the night is a blur for Minhyuk. The last thing he remembers is getting invited to do shots with an already-drunk Hyunwoo. People gathered around them, cheering for one or the other, though Minhyuk didn’t listen. He just chugged down the tequila, pausing only to send Kihyun more texts.

 The next morning, he awakens on the floor of Hoseok’s beautifully tiled bathroom with a pounding headache. He feels as if he’s been pulled inside-out. The smell of bile fills his nostrils, definitely not helping his already-present nausea.

He struggles to pull himself up off the floor, his legs feeling like jelly and his stomach grumbling loudly in protest. His limbs ache with fatigue, and he has to physically pull himself from object to object to get out of the room. He hangs onto the wall as he walks, not sparing a glance to his fellow classmates passed out all around the apartment.

Hyungwon’s curled up on the couch, looking like a frikkin’ model just laying there. Minhyuk can’t help but think of how unfair that is as he staggers his way to the kitchen. He barely manages to make it to the fridge for a bottle of water before his phone dings.

He pulls it out confusedly, hoping beyond hope it's a message from Kihyun despite his mental haze and physical pain, but it's only a game notifying him he hasn't played it in the last five hours.

"We need to go," Hyungwon suddenly says behind him, causing the older to jump. He immediately regrets it as his stomach roils in protest.

"I'm surprised you're awake," Minhyuk comments, his raspy voice much more gravelly than usual. Hyungwon rolls his eyes, reaching forward to grab Minhyuk by his elbow and lead him out of the apartment.

"I didn't sleep," he spits at him. "Someone had to keep you from trying to sleep with every guy you came across last night." Minhyuk winces, remembering the other reason why he doesn't ever drink.

"That bad?" he asks, his voice pitiful. Or, at least, it would be to a better-rested Hyungwon.

"Yes."

Minhyuk whines at his own misery, clutching the water bottle and his phone tightly as he's forced out of the apartment.

 On the way home, Minhyuk dares to look at his text conversation with Kihyun. He scrolls by text after text he'd sent, walls and walls of slurred words and—

Oh, God...

Minhyuk groans, thunking his head against the passenger-side window over and over. Hyungwon only chuckles from behind the steering wheel, not even sparing him a glance.

"I tried getting that thing away from you last night," Hyungwon tells him, but you said something about putting me into a hospital with a coma with a different name? I don't know, it seemed pretty specific coming from a drunk teenager, so I just let you be."

Minhyuk doesn't reply, shoving his phone between his thigh and the cracking leather seat as he casts his eyes towards the side of the road. They pass the body of a small hare, belly turned up and tongue lolled out. Dead.

Minhyuk knows exactly how it feels.

 Kihyun releases a relieved sigh as he steps into the Incheon airport. After a month of traversing foreign streets and an almost-11-hour flight, it's good to be home. He takes in the smells, the lights, the voices. The familiar sound of Korean puts his mind at ease, and he makes a beeline for the luggage pickup.

 He doesn't even think to turn on his messages until he gets home. He’s just about to take a shower after putting his bags in his room, but he pauses for a moment to check his phone. He isn’t expecting much, as all of his friends had known of the strict no-texting rule he’d set himself whilst abroad.

Imagine his surprise when a total two hundred messages came flooding through his notifications all at once. He drops the phone in surprise as it keeps dinging and dinging, it still buzzing incessantly on his comforter as he watches in utter shock, his lips parted in a small ‘o’ and his eyes widened ten times their normal size.

Finally, after what seems like hours, the device finally settles down. Kihyun sighs, picking it up to see just what the hell happened.

Two hundred messages. From Minhyuk.

…Huh…

Kihyun bites back his own irritation at his same-age friend, opening his phone to read just what was so damn important. The feeling melts away, though, just at the first message he sees.

I miss you, Kihyunnie~ I hope your trip is going well <33

Kihyun can’t help but coo, eagerly going on to the next message. If they’re all this sweet, maybe he won’t nag Minhyuk quite as much when he sees him.

 What he finds, though, is something he doesn’t expect. A barrage of drunken texts, spouting in varying levels of coherency how much Minhyuk cares about him, likes him—really likes him—, loves him, wants to die with him and have a family with him and even though he’s a total troll sometimes he still loves him and—

And then it stops. It ends with a single text from the following day saying: “Please, God, if you care about me at all, just delete this entire conversation and don’t ever ask me about it.”

Kihyun smirks wryly at his screen, quirking up a brow. He sighs heavily, poising his thumbs with all the expertise of any other high schooler and types out a quick message.

Minhyuk-ah~ You should come by and take your dear friend out for some barbecue for coming back home ㅋㅋㅋ

He doesn’t even have to wait a full minute before he gets a reply.

Kihyunnie!!! You’re back???

You didn’t see my texts, did you???

Nvm

I’m on my way

Kihyun chuckles breathily, hurrying his tiny self to the bathroom to take a quick shower. He absolutely does not want to look like he’s just spent so many hours on a plane for the conversation he’s about to have.

 Minhyuk pulls up to Kihyun’s apartment building only a short time later, shooting him a quick text to let him know he’s there. Kihyun seems to have been waiting for him, bolting out the lobby a second later and hopping into the car. Minhyuk can’t even hope to fight the urge to lean over to center console to tug his friend in for a warm hug. He smells like roses and lavender, a familiar smell that makes Minhyuk’s heart race.

“Missed me, huh?” Kihyun asks teasingly as they break apart, wiggling a brow at him. Minhyuk rolls his eyes, jabbing a finger into his ribs before turning his attention back to the road.

“Now why would I ever miss you, you gremlin?”

Kihyun yelps out a laugh, his eyes crinkling closed and his dimples appearing in his cheeks. Minhyuk feels a warm sort of fuzziness overtake him, making him feel all gooey on the inside, and he has the notion to plant a quick little kiss on Kihyun’s cheek.

He doesn’t of course, as that’d be all kinds of telling, and he drives into the street, knowing just where to go.

 They arrive at a small barbecue place they and their families have been going to since they were little. They manage to even get their favorite table, a small one in the very back that’s perfect for watching the other diners. Neither have to even glance at the menus before ordering, and their drinks come in record time.

Minhyuk sips at his coke, lips pulling anxiously as the straw. His legs bounce up and down under the table, and he doesn’t meet Kihyun’s eyes. The slightly-younger watches him, a knowing little smirk set on his features, and Minhyuk can’t shake the sense of foreboding filling him.

“So… how was Paris?” Minhyuk asks, trying lamely for conversation. Kihyun chuckles under his breath, and he gives a little shrug.

“Okay, I guess,” he replies. “Met some nice people, took some pretty pictures, ate some great food. But, ya know, it isn’t home.” He pauses then, slurping at his soda before leaning forward. “I missed it here,” he says, his tone dripping with meaning. “I missed you.”

Minhyuk could probably run a marathon purely off the adrenaline that single sentence sends coursing through his veins. He stiffens in his seat, though, boundless energy just running through him. However, he needs to play it cool, as he’s still holding out hope that Kihyun had taken mercy and deleted all the messages he’d sent.

“I-I missed you, too, Kihyunnie,” he mumbles, his throat tightening at saying the shorter’s name. Kihyun hums then, leaning even closer, propping himself up on his elbows. The light in his eyes sets Minhyuk’s blood a’boilin’. He swallows thickly, frozen where he sits. His heart hammers in his chest, threatening to burst free and just jump into Kihyun’s hands.

He doesn’t want to ask. He doesn’t want to know if Kihyun made himself witness to the absolute mess he was those few weeks ago at Hoseok’s party. He cringes just thinking about it…

But, as always, he just can’t keep himself from saying what he needs to.

“Did you… read my texts?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun replies without missing a beat, slurping again at his coke. Minhyuk chokes on pure oxygen, lurching back in his seat and hiding his face in shame.

“Oh, God… Oh God oh God oh God…” he mutters over and over, his face burning as he grows more embarrassed with every syllable that passes his lips. Kihyun yelps out a warm laugh across from him, but he ignores it. He can’t even bring himself to look up at the shorter.

“I don’t know why you had to wait for me to leave the country to tell me all that,” Kihyun tells him plainly, his tone only slightly nagging. “We’re best friends, Min. You should’ve been honest with me. I mean, I felt I was being pretty obvious in my feelings towards you, so…”

Minhyuk gasps overdramatically, his eyes going wide as he just takes in the slightly-younger’s words. Could he really mean…?

As if hearing his thoughts, Kihyun hums, nodding his head oh-so coolly. Minhyuk furrows his brow, feeling incredibly defensive suddenly. Kihyun’s just giving him that haughty, knowing smirk he just hates yet loves, and he doesn’t know how to respond other than to argue.

“Well you could’ve just said something!!” he fires back. He begins to pick at his bottom lip, eyes shining with a relieved light. Kihyun ‘hmmph’s, rolling his eyes as he sits back in his chair, though the amused sparkle to his eyes tells he isn’t really all that annoyed.

“I could say the same to you.”

“I did!!”

“Before I left the country and you got drunk!! What was with that, anyway? You don’t drink.”

“Yeah, well…” Minhyuk mumbles, unable to answer him. After all, what’s he supposed to say? That he got so god-awful drunk because of him?? Absolutely not. Kihyun would lord that over him for years if he did. Kihyun sighs, and his foot slides across the floor to Minhyuk’s to press against it gently, consolingly. Minhyuk meets his gaze, and he feels himself ease.

 Their appetizers come before either can say anything, and then their food soon after. Kihyun only glances at Minhyuk once, and Minhyuk knows he hadn’t needed to worry all this time. No matter how many times Kihyun goes off to foreign countries for whatever reasons, he’ll always be Minhyuk’s… whatever that may entail.

Minhyuk finds himself thinking that it may mean much more than before, as Kihyun’s foot begins to rub its way up and down his skinny leg. Minhyuk shoots Kihyun a guarded gaze, and Kihyun only blows him a flirtatious little kiss before diving into his food.

The slightly-older has to stifle a sigh, only just then beginning to imagine what kind of mess he’s gotten himself into with this one…

[cafffeinations]

It’s amelietweek! \o/ Here’s something for the day 4 prompt College/University AU. It also features Estonia as Lithuania’s room mate, and has mentions of Canada (I think Himaruya put Estonia’s ‘human age’ as younger than America, but here he’s older, like Lithuania). Its ~2,400 words and can be read on AO3 here

Somehow Alfred not being there is just as distracting as when he is, but Eduard is oh so fortunately around to inform him why.

---

Seeing as Alfred isn't around, there's really no excuse why Toris isn't getting on with any work. Without the stories about his day or the new people he always seems to be meeting, explanations about whatever new thing he's into that week and just his exuberant presence in general, it's a much quieter and study-friendly Tuesday evening than Toris usually has.

 Yet whenever he tries to focus on the paragraphs before him, the blinking cursor reminding him how unfinished they are, his eyes manage to glance of their own accord back to the clock at the bottom of the screen. He's usually here by now, the thought cycle begins, I wonder what he's up to?

But as the more rational part of his mind points out, there's no real reason for him to be here; just because he usually comes by doesn't mean he has to.

That should be the end of it, but he just cant help but imagine where he is, be it eating with friends or out running or maybe even studying - unlikely, he smiles wryly to himself, remembering how Alfred had proclaimed that he's 'better off' cramming before finals or he'll just forget everything. Toris had questioned if that really was so wise, to which Alfred had stuck out his tongue, making such a silly face that he'd laughed and -

His word count still has not gone up.

With a sigh he leans back and stretches his arms and shoulders, mentally berating himself, just as Eduard comes through the door.

"Hey," he greets, sliding his backpack onto the bed on his side of the room, "that doesn't look so promising." 

"Yeah, I'm not having the most productive time," Toris replies ruefully, trying not to calculate the days and hours until the one of his many deadlines.

"Well don't worry, you'll manage. You always get it done," Eduard reassures him, and he smiles gratefully, at least until he continues, "especially as it seems our resident freshman isn't around for once to distract you."

"Oh, don't be mean," Toris resists the urge to roll his eyes, a vague idea of where Eduard is headed, "he doesn't come here that much."

"If you say so," Eduard says in a tone that clearly doesn't believe him.

"Its only on Tuesdays when he has a late class over here," Toris bites against his better judgement, referring to the computer suite they live near, "and some Wednesdays if he has time to kill before baseball practice...and maybe on Fridays because of that burger stand he likes." (It was, according to Alfred himself, the best he'd had since moving from home).

"Hmm. How convenient."

"Plus he thinks that he can get your help with his coding or whatever it is you computer guys do!"

"He wishes! That was a one time deal and he knows it." Tutting, he boots his computer up (but Toris knows that as much as Eduard grumbles about Alfred, he finds him nice enough or he wouldn't put up with him coming over at all). "No, it's not me he treks over here for."

There's an emphasis there that he can't help himself but address. "I know what you're saying, and stop it. We just get along well, that's all."

"I'm not saying anything."

"You are," he grumbles.

"Well it's not my fault he's got a major crush on you, is it? I'm just pointing out the obvious. Yes, it's obvious," he interrupts before Toris can say otherwise, "and you like him back, or you'd be busy working instead of sat there looking at the time." 

"I wasn't- I was just- reading and planning what to write!" he protests, lying, and wondering not for the first time how Eduard manages to pick up on things he'd really rather he didn't.

"Very convincing," he says dryly.

As if to make a point Toris turns back to his screen, but he's not reading anything at all.

It's not exactly something he's never thought about, but he hadn't realised that it was so obvious. Or maybe Eduard was just too perceptive for his own good - he hoped that was the case.

"I don't think Alfred swings that way anyway," he says after a while, not quite as casually as he intended, but luckily Eduard is rifling through a pile of notes, not seeing his faint blush.

"You'll never know if you don't try," he shrugs, "You should just ask him. If you can get a word in against all the nonsense he chats, anyway."

Alfred did talk a lot, yes, but Toris enjoys it so long as he can keep up with the tangents that he sometimes flies into. And it wasn't all nonsense - if you really listened, there was more to him than just loudness and energy.

This was particularly apparent when they were alone. Then, it wasn't unusual for him to talk in, well how could he put it...just a different kind of way, one that led Toris to discover this more rounded side of him. Not that he meant Alfred was a superficial person or anything - really he was pretty damn genuine to all - but just that being on the go as much as he was, and as breezily as he interacted with so many people, he didn't think many (if any) got to see the depths that he did.

And maybe this wasn't all that unique, because wasn't everyone the same? Not many share their deeper thoughts with everyone in everyday conversation now, do they?

But the fact that Alfred could sit on his bed and come out with all sorts of things to him, made him feel kind of special. He'd learnt for example that Alfred jokes to people about math being the end of him, but he doesn't like admitting he'd been close to not making it to college at all until he'd taken extra tutoring; he knows that Alfred has a twin brother who he has little in common with but still 'actually kind of misses', and wishes they were closer; he knows as well that he's got some sort of hang-up about missing out on things and that's why he likes to get involved in so much. 

If Toris is a bit like his confidant then he's fine with being there for him, and it doesn't mean Alfred likes him, just that they feel comfortable around each other. That's what he gets most from Alfred, he suspects; a lingering feeling of lightness, his fun and carefree manner a refreshing break from himself and the stresses he gets himself tangled up in.

Does that mean he wants more than just, hanging out though? The idea of going there, closing that distance between them when they're sat together, is far (far) from unappealing, but feelings get so messy, and...well, he should be focusing on the reason why he's here in the first place. To study, and the grades sure aren't going to achieve themselves.

 ---

 Its just as he's about to pull on his pyjamas, having managed a to-do list for tomorrow's study if not ticked any more off that night, that his phone buzzes, twice in quick succession.

There aren't that many people who message him, and sure enough its the culprit of his earlier distraction.

Hey im so sorry i didnt come over today!! blame my mom, she said she had important news and to skype her ASAP so i ran back and all it was is that shes selling the house!!

-

which is still important lol but i was freaking out so much thinking it was something bad! sorry

He can feel a smile creeping onto his face before he's even halfway through reading, so very much like Alfred it is to sound lively even in text. The fact that he's being thought about too may have contributed to that smile, but he means it when he replies,

You dont have to apologize! You can't ignore moms when they say its important haha. That sounds exciting!

He's barely set the phone down when it buzzes again, but this time its a call - for some reason, this makes him nervous, but before he can over-think he hits answer, grabs his key and slips out of the room so Eduard can't eavesdrop when he comes out the shower.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me, can you talk?"

"Yeah," he says and pads past other rooms along the hall to sit out on the top step of the flight of stairs. "How are you?"

"I'm good, now!" America chirps down the phone, "Can you believe it though? She could've phrased it in a much better way, she had me so worried!"

"That's true!" Though he could also imagine Alfred doing the same, impulsively sending a message before thinking it through, "Its really fine though!"

"Yeah? You didn't miss me too much?"  

Obviously Toris can't see his face, but he can picture the cheesy and slightly cocky grin all the same.

"Not much," he teases, "I have Ed for company, after all."

"Pssh, I'm much better company than he is! That guy still won't help me with my paper," he grumbles, to which Toris chuckles.

"So you're moving home then?"

"Oh yeah - well to be honest its not even a shock, before we even went to college Mom was making plans to downsize. Just means there wont be as much space to move back so no pressure for finding a job at the end, right!" He laughs loud, in somewhat contradiction to what he's just said, and Toris hopes Alfred's room mate is out or at least not trying to sleep.

"You've got a couple of years to think about that yet," he says, "there'll be room for you to stay for vacations still, right?"

"Yeah, better be. Me and Matt have already said there has to be unless she wants us fighting over who's gonna sleep on the floor!"

"You spoke to him too?"

"Mm!" he imagines Alfred is nodding, "Actually I've been on skype to him most of the night. Its been a while since we talked, you know?"

"Yeah. How is he?"

"Really good! Buried in books he says, but doing okay. He's found a group of hockey nerds so he's been getting crazy with them 'til now I'm sure."

Toris thinks he means this in an affectionate way, considering how he says that he misses the guy, but his flip-flopping in how kindly he describes his brother isn't all that new a phenomenon.

"I think college is suiting him good. I tried to ask about all the girls in those pictures with him on Facebook and he went all red and told me to mind my own business! So he must be doing well, right!" he laughs again and Toris can’t help but smile too.

"You'll have to get some of his secrets," he teases, expecting Alfred to take it in his stride. 

"Yeah, maybe," he sighs, and there's a pause; not sad, just there, and for a second Toris remembers his earlier conversation with Eduard, and whether Alfred likes...

He decides against going there now.

"It's nice you're catching up."

"Yeah. I told him he should visit sometime soon. Hopefully he won't be too mad that not many people know I have a twin, ha ha...but you two would get along well I think."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh, you're both kinda quiet. And you put up with me! Actually, Matt said that-" 

He waits for the rest, but instead he gets, "actually, nevermind. How was your day?" 

"Um, it was fine but hey I'm curious now!" Toris answered, unsure as to what it could be. 

"Nah, it's nothing. I'll tell you next time I see you. I have to go to a group project before practice tomorrow but hopefully soon?"

"Yeah, sure," Toris replies, "I don't go far!" (which except from the library, was sadly true).

"Cool. Ok, well, goodnight!"

"Night Alfred," he says, and waits for him to hang up. After a few seconds he does, but something about the abrupt end and change of track is nagging at him. It's uncharacteristic of Alfred to be hesitant, but of course he's fully entitled to his privacy. He'll just have to wait and see if he does elaborate later.

He's about to get up when his phone vibrates again, making him jump.

"Hello?"

"Ok so I'm sorry if this weird but basically he said I talked about you so much he couldn't wait to meet you and he was glad that I'd found someone, and I was like what are you talking about and he was like - okay you don't need all of that, and um, do you know what I'm getting at here?"

He talks so fast it takes Toris' mind takes a while to catch up with his ears, and a few moments on top of that to fully process just what he's said.

"I, think I might," he says slowly, butterflies in his stomach.

"Do I? Come across like, I you know... like you."

He wonders what the best answer would be, and truth be told doesn't really know.

"I think only you can answer that," he says softly, and wishes he was there with Alfred now, to reassure the likely puzzled frown furrowed on his face. "For the record though, its not weird."

"It's not?"

"No, it's - it's fine. It's more than fine, actually," and he waits with bated breath for a response.

"Cool," Alfred says, which may not sound like much but he knows, he can just tell, that means he’s happy.

"Listen-," he starts at the same time as Alfred says "So-"; they laugh, nervously but happily, and he lets Alfred continue.

"I've got some stuff to figure out, about this," he says, "but I think you can help. Are you free on Friday?"

"Yes."

"Do you wanna go for a drink? Like, a proper drink. A date drink."

"That would be great," he says, beaming, and he really means it.

 ---

The next morning as he's about to head to the library, Eduard says, "I  don't want to say I told you so, but, I told you so."

"What do you mean?" Toris says as innocently as possible, feigning ignorance.

"Funnily enough, given your denial, something's happened between you and him."

Toris exhales into an exasperated laugh. "I haven't even said anything! How can you possibly know?!"

"You've practically been smiling ever since you woke up."

And throughout the day, whenever he thinks about Friday, it's hard to stop.