#im really mad at myself but also like mad at my dad n also just mad in general IDK

[juniestar]

Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

[thepinkseashell]

-_-

[sensitivegoblin]

AHG!!!!!!!!!!!

Im screaming until my throat hurts in my mind

[chrispotatos]

Pay attention- chris sturniolo

Dad!chris

warning: angst (if you squint), fluff.

summary: your son gets hurt when you were off doing something else and chris gets mad at you.

A/n: it gets harder to think of a title everyday

2:30 pm

it was the afternoon and i was on the couch, delicately painting my nails; a shade of pale pink. it was a rare moment of relaxation while also oddly quiet. around this time my son ryder finds somewhere to take a nap so it wasn't too unsettling.

that was up until i hear a thud and a startling cry come from the kitchen. my head snaps up and i drop the nail polish rushing into the kitchen, where i found my son ryder lying on the tiled floor crying.

next to him was a empty cup and i was trying to make sense of what just happend but couldn't.

"oh sweetie, are you ok?" my voice trembled in worry. i knealt down beside him scooping the 4yr old into my arms, his tiny legs straddling my lap and he cried into my shoulder.

"im gonna text daddy okay?" i reassure him, rubbing his back.

i carry him back to the couch where my phone was. i send chris a text explaining everything that happend. and he was now on his way home.

"how'd this happen ryder?" i questioned, rubbing his back to soothe him. it hushed his crys for the most part. but he was still sniffling and hiccuping, trying to calm down from all the pain he endured from the fall.

"i wanted to get you water.." he confessed and that made me feel more guilt then i already did.

"but why baby?"

"i wanted to supwise you" he sniffled lifting his head off my shoulder to look at me. i place a kiss on his forehead nodding my head, understanding the small gesture he tried to perform for me and failed.

I lay him down on the couch and put his head against a small throw pillow that was on the sofa then putting on his favorite movie to make him feel a bit better.

--

3:08 pm

the front door opens in a swift movement and slams shut.

"what happend? is he alright?" chris' voice sharp with worry, he made his way over to the couch kneeling infront of where our son was laying, brushing some hair out of his face.

"he slipped trying to get water for me" i explained my eyes pleading for him to understand. "im sorry, i know i should've been watching him closely"

Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he lifted ryder up into his arms, checking him for any marks.

"he could've seriously hurt himself" he muttered in a accusing tone.

my shoulders slump guilt washing over me all over again. I was distracted and caught up doing my own thing so much so that i was unaware of the danger unfolding just a room away.

chris laid the 4yr old back onto the couch letting the boy engross himself back into the movie he was watching.

"what were you doing anyway?" he questioned me, crossing his arms.

"my nails.." i admit unable to meet his gaze. "really" he scoffed.

"do you not care about him enough to just watch him. you can't just 'get distracted'. " his voice starts to raise "cause what would you have done if something worse happened"

"i know it was bad. imagine how i felt having to see him laid out on the ground.. in pain- it fucking killed me" my voice cracked, and my breath hitched in my throat, that's when tears started falling from my eyes. chris just narrow his eyes at me, shaking his head in disbelief.

i get off the couch and walk to our shared room, ashamed of myself and what happend to ryder made me feel like a terrible mother.

--

5:56 pm

i was laying in bed, watching tv still feeling anxious about the small argument me and chris shared earlier. my sadness and worry subsided to exhaustion.

i hear a small knock on the door, my eyes go follow where the noise came from and are met with chris' figure standing in the door frame.

he enters the room "can i talk to you?" he asked softly, approching the bed and sitting.

to that i sit up from my laying position and prop myself up against the pillows.

"i wanted to apologize for yelling at you" he started off. sighing, looking to my face searching for any emotions that might show how i was feeling.

"and i know you love him just as much as me. but in that moment i was scared and i was just mad at you and I'm sorry for that." he added

i took a deep understanding to his words and where he was coming from. to be fair i would have reacted the same way

"I'm sorry too, i should've been watching him." i mumbled.

"it's okay" chris reaches his arms out and wraps them around me. I lean into him, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

"you're a great mom y/n dont let this one incidentmake you think otherwise. and I'm sure ryder agrees" he rubs my back soothingly as steady reassurance, giving me a kiss on my head. we stay like this for a while, wrapped in eachothers arms finding solace in the simple act of being together.

"i ordered pizza. you want some?" the random question made a giggle fall from my lips. "I would love some pizza"

I pull away from the hug and place a kiss on his lips the action being reciprocated, and now we were off to the kitchen.

[diqnbaus]

Let You Break My Heart Again (Part 2)

Paring: Miles Morales x fem!reader

Summary: Your attempts to avoid Miles have worked. Until it’s time for his dad’s promotion party. That’s it lowkey. The next part will have more I promise. This is also at the beginning of ATSV so you’ve been warned.

Category: Not sad but not happy??

A/n: im soryr im so tired and I wasn’t even planning on writing another part but I felt badly. Also ik think chapter isnt as good as the first but I’ve rewritten in three thousand times and have two drafts. This is the one I like more.

No matter how upset you were, no matter hard you tried to ignore Miles; there was no getting out of this. You had to go to Miles’ dad’s promotion party. Worst case scenario, you saw Miles and he tried to talk to you again. Best case scenario, you don’t see him and get free pizza from the party.

Either way, you were going. After all, you were mad at Miles. Not his dad.

So that was how you found yourself here, on the roof that was filled with people you didn’t know, trying to fit as much free food onto your plate while simultaneously trying to avoid eye contact with anyone who might start a conversation.

Unfortunately, you were unsuccessful in your attempts. Mrs. Morales soon approached you, just as you were stuffing your face with one of the cookies from your plate.

“I know the cookies are good, but please don’t choke,” Mrs. Morales says, smiling softly.

“Mhsis Mowawwes,” you swallow the cookie before trying again. “Mrs. Morales! This party is wonderful, and so are the cookies, obviously.”

“Thank you, I bought them myself,” she chuckles. “Have you seen Miles anywhere? He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. He has the cake.”

“The cake? That’s the most important part of a party. No I haven’t seen him, sorry.”

She sighs, “that’s okay. That boy is always late to everything. I need to start telling him to get there twenty minutes before they actually start, then maybe he’d be on time.”

“Maybe you’ll only have to tell him to get there,” you check your watch, “thirteen minutes before it starts. He’s walking in right now.”

“Ugh, y/n you’re a lifesaver! I’m going to talk some sense into that boy,” she says while heading in his direction.

“Yep,” you mumble to yourself before eating another cookie and finding a quieter corner that you could sit in.

Your peacefulness didn’t last long, as after the fight Miles had with his parents, they went to find you.

“Y/n! Just the person we needed!” Mr. Davis said as they approached you.

“We were wondering if you would go talk to Miles. I’m sure you heard what happened earlier,” Mrs. Morales said.

“It was kind of hard not to,” Mr. Davis mumbled.

Ignoring her husband, she continued, “We really think something is bothering him, and he won’t talk to us. So maybe he would talk to you?”

“Oh I don’t really know, he didn’t really seem in the mood to talk to anyone,” you reply awkwardly, trying to get out of the conversation. The aforementioned worst case scenario was upon you.

“Please? It would double as my promotion present; as you didn’t get me one,” Mr. David said, confrontationally.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to get you one,” you replied, panicked.

“I’ll only forgive you if you go talk to Miles,” he says sweetly before his wife turns him around and harshly whispers to him. Something about “manipulating” and “poor girl,” while you just sat there confused.

Finally when they turned back toward you, you told them you would do it.

“Thank you so much y/n,” Mrs. Morales says while ushering you towards the exit of the roof.

“Yes, thank you. The door should be unlocked. But if it isn’t, there’s a spare key under the mat,” Mr. Davis says as you reach the exit.

“That’s not very safe,” you reply, a little unnerved. You have to talk to Miles about that later. Maybe. If you felt like it.

“Oh please! I’m not the police chief yet, I can still be a little crazy now and then. Plus I change up the spot every other year, so we should be fine,” he says, ushering you out the door.

“Thanks again!” They say in unison, just before the door closes. You sigh before making your way down the many stairs, to the apartment.

Sure enough, the door is unlocked. But just to make sure he wasn’t joking, you checked under the mat and found the key. Huffing, you stand back up and make your way into the apartment towards Miles’ room.

“Miles! We need to talk about a few things. Starting with your dad’s key placement…” you trail off after opening the door to Miles’ room to see him and Gwen looking at his shelf full of his ‘action figures.’ This was the worser case scenario. Worster? Worsest? It doesn’t matter. This was bad.

[sovksluv]

GTYU2K - static chapter 1

✰ . pairing - ex!Luke Castellan x italian!fem!singer!reader smau

✰ . summary - dating an ex-frat boy was definitely not the best idea, but now that you’re only a girl he used to know, you’re making tons of money off him and his lying, cheating ass, iykwim ���

✰ . includes - badassness, italian singer but no specified race, cussing probably, sad luke because he regrets what he did

✰ . series taglist - @sluttysammyy

✰ . pjo taglist - @perseus-jackass @niktwazny303 @st4rzl7

✰ . now playing - GTYU2K by Alexis Munroe

✰ . a/n - im not really sure how artists like talk about their new albums and stuff so taylor swift is my inspo!! also PLEASE if you haven’t, GO LISTEN TO Alexis Munroe (aka princessbri) ALSO!!! pictures do NOT depict the reader!!

✰ . series masterlist

y/ny/ln u make me sick

view all comments

larueclarisse FUUUUCK HIM !!! U DONT NEED HIM 🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ridding myself of allllll the bullshit

ׂ╰┈➤ user09 ATE

missbeauregard soooo excited !!! and so proud of you lovie 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln ilyyyy mwah mwah 💋💋

seaweedbrainbaddie um where’s my photo creds 🤨🤨🤨🤞🤞

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie yes

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln no

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie YES

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln FINE. 📸 creds to @seaweedbrainbaddie (stupid name btw)

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie thank you and FUCK YOU

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th LANGUAGE.

view more

pipesqueak drop the album alreadyyy!! i’m dying waiting 😫

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln coming soon i promise ml 💋

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak not soon enough :(

iamchris_h can’t let bro know i fw this 😣

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse don’t even know why ur friends w such a loser

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h we all make mistakes guys

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse his dad definitely did 🥱

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard CLARISSE.

hater77 she’s just obsessed with her ex like if it’s so bad why make a whole album about him LMFAO

ׂ╰┈➤ user54 ur just mad she’s making money and u aren’t 🤣

larueclarisse GIRLS NIGHT ‼️🥂❤️‍🔥 tagged: @y/ny/ln @missbeauregard @pipesqueak

view all comments

pipesqueak i had so much fun !!! 💕💕

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse WE ALL NEED TO GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN?!?&:8

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak YES !

y/ny/ln holy shit i’m so hung over but at least i look good 🤷‍♀️

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse only Y/n Y/ln can get full on shitfaced and still look good 😫❤️‍🔥

seaweedbrainbaddie omg guys why wasn’t i invited :(((( 💔😖

ׂ╰┈➤ y/ny/ln you’re a boy. it was girls night.

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse you’re like 8??

ׂ╰┈➤ missbeauregard you would probably just complain the whole time

ׂ╰┈➤ pipesqueak you can’t even drink

ׂ╰┈➤ annab3th you’re annoying.

ׂ╰┈➤ seaweedbrainbaddie babe you weren’t even there ??

view more

itslukecastellan she looks so pretty

ׂ╰┈➤ larueclarisse boy gtfo

ׂ╰┈➤ iamchris_h Luke i can’t even defend you anymore 🤦🏽

y/ny/ln just posted a new story

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse YESSSSS IM SO EXCITED 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

y/ny/ln my biggest supporter 💕

view reply from missbeauregard:

missbeauregard DISSIN HIM AND MAKING MONEY!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOUUUU

y/ny/ln thank you babyyyyyy <3333

view reply from cast311anbackup:

cast311anbackup i miss you

y/ny/ln leave me aloneeeee how many mf times do i have to block you.

y/ny/ln i’m not the girl that u used 2 know🤷‍♀️

comments turned off

© sovksluv 2024, please do not repost or translate my work!

[aristotels]

Of course all problems and inequalities are direct consequence of modernity and in the past those who are now considered undesirable were considered divine and definitely weren't treated even worse and didn't have access to anything that resembles accomodations. Let's bring those times back!

In Ancient Rome specifically there was no hospitalisation, yes, but also people who were considered mad couldn't make financial and legal operations on their own at all and couldn't be citizens, and were considered pariahs by their communities. This is not to say that you are wrong because you picked the wrong time to see as "when things were better", it's that just because what causes problems now is capitalism doesn't mean that before it people were always kind and caring, everything is much older.

(Or that removing the money would fix everything on its own, for that matter)

are you literally so stupid to fail to see my point

the point isnt "LOOK WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US" the point is that fears and delusions depend on the society youre brought up in; and also sorry that a 5 sentences tumblr post didnt go into history of medical malpractice, it was a lighthearted post made by someone with those very issues

yeah, if i lived then, then id have a different delusion more fit to those times - but it would not resemble my current paranoia or nightmares of being drugged or talked to the way ive had medical staff talk to me bc those things are specific to our society.

(Also you can still have your rights denied for being mentally ill today as well?????? what happened to free britney??? And like My family doctor once literally suggested to my dad to involountary check me into psych ward which was smth my psychiatrist at the time was very much trying to avoid because he KNEW how dehumanizing that is, he spent more than sn hour trying to figure out if my visions of suicide were actual suicide risk or intrusive thoughts; telling me later that he was willing to gamble such a huge risk and responsibility he would have to take in case i actually did smth to myself - just to keep me out of the hospital stay because he worked there and SAW how dehumanizing it is. because getting in the ward here doesnt mean youre done when youre out, this shit affects FUCKLOAD of things in your life!)

are you really trying to be like "LETS TAKE AWAY ACCOMODATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO SUFFER WOOW GOOD JOB" in my inbox rn btw considering that i am literally schizophrenic w some other mental illnesses, and that i take fucking meds upon meds for it, including antipsychotics??????? and i am also very grateful for those aids, but even with meds my condition will never be resolved and its severity very much depends on the people/society around me. my delusions while living in croatia might differ from someone who lives in the usa.

i literally have no patience or attention or care or anything to argue with you rn, if you wanna discuss political or economical or marxist or whatever theory in my inbox go ahead, but i am NOT arguing about my own fucking lived experience and having you speak to me this way, in an incredibly entitled and dismissive way. its late and im going to bed. i genuinely dont care for your "ummmmm ekshually capitalism is noot thaaat bad-" shit while i keep having episodes on the daily in a big part due to fuckin capitalism. losing my other job is putting me through stress because i have no money, but it also eased up certain aspects of my illness because i dont have to hit hardcore fucking deadlines every week.

p.s. who the fuck is talking about money not existing. if you are gonna bring that up within communist theory and up for a serious discussion thats a whole other thing, but moneyless and stateless society doesnt just rest on tadaaah no money, like theres a reason marx wrote books n essays on that shit and why daddy engels sent him checks. and even in ideal communist world we would still have mental illnesses, but i am absolutely positive that my thoughts would differ than the current ones and that they would probably be less severe. and also why is this implying that communism wont have like the fuckin medication

i usually take care to carefully reply to asks and try to actually give a serious opinion but i gen dont care if i sound incoherent rn, this legit pissed me off

[bbarican]

december 18, 2023; 7:14 am - roadtrip!

good morning, tumblr! happy monday! its rainy and gloomy and cold, but im not mad about it; im currently in a starbucks sa slex kasi i decided to help out my boss toda sa batangas project niya; its just gonna be me, her, and our client’s assistant today

im excited! its been so long since i last went to batangas kaya im excited for the roadtrip and to see our project down there too kasi this is on of our last high end residentia projects kaya im looking forward to taking lots of photos too

this weekend has been the most fun ive ever had in a really long time! so many new memories with my family and the fact na we’re only getting started palang is making me suuuuper stoked for the rest of the holiday season kasi hanggng katapusan pa sila ng december dito!

i also bought gifts na for my parents and funny enough, i didnt even try as in not at all to hide their gifts kasi nga i love giving gifts and i dont do well with hiding surprises, especially if i know na mgugustohan talaga nila yung ibibigay ko

for example, kagabi napadaan ko sa store that sells collectible toys and i was initially there to look around for gifts for my cousins pero and unang tanong ko talaga is if meron ba silang anything n voltes v related

and they did! they had 1 funko pop and i didnt even hesitate that much kasi i know my dad is gonna love it so i bought it tapos natatawa pa ko kasi it was impossible to hide from my dad either way kasi yung plastic bag from the store was clear too so he wouldve seen it kaagad din

for my mom naman, i bought her clothes and make up is thats some of the things she wanted and it was also an excuse for me to buy myself a new lip balm from sunnies so its always a win win situation in the end

im so grateful na i get to spoil my parents na

the homily last night was very spot on too - we should learn how to be okay with things and situations just being enough; and im glad to say na everything has been enough for us and i will forever be thankful

anyways, i hope you guys have a lovely monday and a lovely rest of the week! for those na may work pa like me, ingat kayo sa mga biyahe niyo! and for those na naka bakasyon na, eh di sana ako din

[celestie0]

HALLO ELLIE!!! proud to say ive successfully managed to move on from my situationship! hope u don’t mind me rambling about this guy.

let’s call him f since that’s his initial. F and I have been friends since primary sch, he eventually had to move because his dad passed away. Anyways, two years ago we started talking again because his family visited mine. Long story short, things were complicated because we had been flirting a lil bit and he also said that ‘if you flirt with other guys, I’ll starve myself’ which Icked me so BAD. He did apologised .Last year, I ‘happy birthday’ed my way into his life and started talking again because I really did miss him, he’s my childhood best friend after all. After like two weeks? I don’t remember anymore💔 He told me he loved me and i was happy to say it back to him. (I was such a fool😭) I remember being giggly and all. On 23rd August we got into a fight because we planned to meet up and i said to him ‘okay I’m nervous. I don’t think I wanna meet up’ which made him mad. MIND YOU! we were in planning stages. i didn’t cancel on him on the day itself! I had lots of things going on at that time so him just casually saying I was PLAYING him made me so upset. He had the cheek to tell me ‘ily’ because honestly I hate when people start getting all affectionate after a fight. I hope you get it😭 the next month went okaaay until 23rd sep. (23 is like a curse at this point💔💔) I confronted him on why he hasn’t been saying ‘ily’ back it may seem something small but I hate not getting it back like excuse me? AND HE SAID TO ME ‘my ex was the only one who managed to make me feel loved’ I CRIED SO BADDD!!!! how could he say that after everything I’ve did for him. smh. yada yada things went on and in dec we stopped talking. I really did liked talking to him and all but it was too much. There was certain moments where I felt like he was just using me cause I wanted him. The times where we sexted (no nudes were exchanged, just texts.) though we did call because he wanted to hear me moan. not my proudest moments, I don’t wanna be begging for a guy’s attention again. I genuinely loved him with my whole heart :((

IM SO SORRY 4 RAMBLING ON!!!! I needed to let this out so badly 🤒❤️‍🩹 love u sm ellie

— frank ocean anon

hiii my love <3 omg GASP i’m so proud of uuu situationships are hell on earth i hope you feel at peace now!!

PLS YOU’re SO REAL FOR GETTING THE ICK OVER THAT!! i swear jealousy is only attractive w fictional men ✋🏼😭 it is NOT a cute look for actual men slsldkfjfh imo its a lil overbearing n strange haha

aww thats sad hun u guys are like childhood best friends so i imagine it was still tough not speaking :(( WOW he said i love youu n you said it backk. its ok bb if it was a happy thing in the moment then it can stay that way in your memory regardless of how stuff turned out in the end :”) be kind to yourself <3

ahhh yea thats 🚩 the whole getting mad cuz you cancelled…and no i totally get that, i hate that sort of “love bombing” after a fight, it just comes off as in-genuine. thats so valid n i relate

OH MY GOSH THE COMMENT ABOUT HIS EX ☹️☹️ WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT…some things you should just keep to your fuckin self. thats awful im sorry love 🥲🥲 you deserve SO much better than that

it’s okkk bb, you knew him a long time n even apart from relationship/situationship, there was still a friendship there too. you can really love someone but also realize theyre bad for you, those two can coexist. i’m so proud of you for realizing you deserve better than someone who makes you feel like you’re being used! no one should ever feel that way. take it easy bb but truuuly truly truly time will heal <3 chin up!! so many wonderful experiences out there for you still my dear

- much loveee, ellie ☁️

[disconnected-dragon]

"Alright people let's set some things straight.

"My name is Miguel O'Hara. I was not bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the past ten or so years I have been Nueva York's one and only --Spider-Man. How it happened is a bit of a long story, my dad liked to throw stuff, I got a job at Alchemax, threw stuff there, blah blah blah, long story short, the head scientist, Dr "Olivia Octoavius" got hired by this huge guy in a suit to "make some Schpida-people" to sell to the US government as super-soldiers. I said I quit, Olivia said ok, but not before spiking my drink with super-cocaine. She then told me "ok Miguel, either you work for us or you go onto the streets." I told her to "suck my dingle-berries Liv" and threw myself into the Spider-Machine. Did I mention I was seventeen years old at this point I feel like I should mention that. It edited my DNA to be abt 50 percent man and 50 percent spider. So instead of Spider-Sense and sticky fingers, it gave me talons, fangs, and paralyzing venom. Hey don't give me that look, at least I'm not Man-Spider.

"A lot of the stuff that followed was standard Spider-Man stuff, got hit by a drone, got choke-slammed by Venom, disappointed my mother, tried to run a Spider-themed speakeasy which you should not do under any circumstances, so I'm just gonna tell LYLA to fast-forward to-- ehhh here. Where I choke-slammed a teenager into a moving train. Really-- not my proudest moment. I was in the wrong here, my bad Miles, I lost my temper. I'm gonna write an apology as soon as the multiverse gets back on track. Here's an e-card LYLA made in the meantime. But, look, you have to get here-- I have one morse confidential thing to say. Which involves the multiverse.

"You probably noticed in my origin story that I'm not a typical Spider-Man. I don't have the canon events. I wasn't even bitten by the spider. And you're probably saying "Miguel, you're a hypocrite, why do you enforce the rules so much on me and my annoying friends? You didn't even have a dad event!' Which, you're right, I don't. The second my dad was gone I threw a party over his dead still-warm corpse but we don't have to go into that now, I don't have daddy issues. (Shut up LYLA) The point is, I know that I'm an anomaly. That's the other reason I do this.

"There can only be one anomaly in the universe at one time. LYLA ran the calculations and they're flawless. I know. I programmed her myself. And because there can only be one anomaly without complete and utter collapse. My existence puts the multiverse in danger, and I know that. I learned that when my daughter dissolved in front of me. So I dedicated my life to keeping the multiverse on track, on time, and tightly running with no deviation. It's lonely, but it's what I have to do. It's what I have to do to make up for existing at all.

"So without me, the entire Arachno-Poly-Humanoid-Multiverse would fall into complete and utter oblivion. There's only one anomaly in this web. And you're looking at him."

____________

a/n: you ever get really pissed off abt some mad miguel takes on twitter so you write a speculative thing abt his backtsory in btsv? lmao couldnt be me.

do note i havent read his comics, only the wikipedia page for his comics, and i edited out some of that information that didn't seem to fit with his astv character. so please don't think im truying to make miguel look better or anything i just *think* this is the direction they'll go with for his backstory if they decide to do it. I *think*. don't hold me to it.

Also, cross posted to AO3 if anyone wants to look:

[finniestoncrane]

Hey finnie!! Congrats on 1k!!! You deserve it!!!!

I wanted to see if you'd do no 9 for me cause I'm so curious as to who you'd pick. You know me p well by this point but I'll still tell you about myself as if ya didn't >:]

So hey, I'm a mexican-american living in socal, I work full time as a post production assistant transferring every old from of audio and video you can think of to digital and im very passionate about media conservation. I have immigrant parents so the connection to my culture isent that far off- but I grew up in Southern California and it shows. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was a teen but later was rediagnosed with DID, I also have depression and believe I am on the spectrum. I love to draw and watch film when i have the time but mostly i just listen to audiobooks because i can do that at work. I've always had to work a lot, whether it's night shifts at the warehouse, 50+ hour weeks or nightclub gigs after work I'm always doing *something*. The fact that I have to work so much bums me out a Lot and I want to explode the concept of capitalism but that doesnt stop me from taking an absurd amount of pride in being a hard worker, I get it from my dad. I don't sleep very much, people always find it strange but no matter what time I fall asleep I will wake up 4-5 hours later without alarms and still feel well-rested. Like I mentioned I read a LOT cause I do it on the job, my favorite books are true crime and horror (Grady Hendrix is my all time fave author) but I also get through a ton of history books- mainly medical and historys of conflict. I watch movies whenever I get the chance, I love horror!! It's comforting to me. Most of my favorite films are from the 70s. Oh I love getting tattoos and if I had the money for it id get one everyday, I love the feeling a lot. I listen to a lot of different kinds of music, 80s pop and goth, old punk, 60s and 70s rock, oldies, 90s grunge and reggae, 2000s emo, rap and indie, modern industrial goth, old country as well as mariachi, corridos, reggaeton and Mexican rock. Really genuinely love most kinds of music, but my fave is anything I can sing or dance to. Like I said I have DID which is a pretty big part of me but simultaneously so small, after therapy I was able to get to a place where my alters don't really front unless there's an agreement to do so and it's mostly for comfort and healing reasons now but I live most of my life with one or more riding passenger seat if that makes sense? There's always someone I can talk to or ask for advice. My ideal night out is a night dancing at some alternative club or maybe karaoke at a dinky little bar. I also love to go on drives and like going to the beach at night to lay on the sand hearing the water until I get too cold.

I think I included way more than you needed but I'd love to hear who you'd pick and why :> 🖤

🎀 No.9: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone 🎀

tell me a little bit about yourself and i'll give you a rogue pairing a/n: ok this was... this one was difficult because i struggled to decide between two rogues (a variant of Mad Hatter being the other option) but i hope the decision i made was the right one💚 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

such a noble cause that you work for! and you picked a key word, because harley is deeply attracted in every sense of the word to passion. doesn't matter what it is, if you're truly passionate about it she'll follow suit

heritage and culture is so important to harley too, and her jewish heritage is often overlooked, so she understand the connection and trying to maintain it or even strengthen it. she'd be so keen to share in someone else's culture and maybe even share hers with them

harley is a trained psychologist. she's a doctor. she has a degree. so any mental health issues she's so keen to try and help, without crossing any boundaries of course. she just wants the best for the people she loves and it's in her nature to try and talk through problems and find ways to fix things or make them hurt less

i frequently headcanon harley as someone who loves drawing as a way of relaxing or as an outlet, and i think she would employ a lot of art psychotherapy tactics. most of all, sitting with you and doodling while you draw and chat about your day would make her so happy

she gets hard work. first of all, it's not easy to study to become a psycholgist. second of all, it's not easy to work in one of the more intense asylums. and third of all, wielding a hammer while looking sexy is a herculean task believe it or not. but hey, if you hate capitalism, why not join her in villainy! or better yet, leave the crime to her and you can stay at home doing nothing all day, let her spoil you!

you would get sleep with harley around. she wouldn't be above bonking you on the head to make sure you're well-rested. 4-5 hours isn't enough, she insists on it. by that point she's only just starting to feel like she's spent enough time stroking your arm and watching you snooze, she needs at least another 2 hours on top of that.

true crime and horror are such harley vibes. she seems like she would love a horror movie marathon. the gorier the better for her though, and with some amazing kill scenes! and let's be honest, some 70s horror films have amazing death scenes in them so she can get on board with that

harley has a fair few tattoos, but nothing would make her giddier with sheer excitement and love than getting a matching tattoo (or 17) with you!!

i think harley loves dancing. she's a gymnast, it's pretty close in terms of movement. she probably has immense skills, albeit untrained, in most dance styles. so any kind of music is something she can work with. and karaoke would 100% be up her street, a cheesy love ballad that you can duet on, or the classic "girls just wanna have fun", but screaming it at an insane volume while she laughs with you

it's maybe not the same thing, but harley has harleen riding sidecar with her at all times. it's not always a good thing for her, since they don't share many of the same opinions, but you'd be a good influence on her, and maybe she'd start taking advice from harleen more often

[jenanddomo]

6.28.23

11:39pm

hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!

lets start w love life

so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky

the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good

i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd

but thats that

mentally

i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself

so thats good

pets

my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(

i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best

but now a general

post

lets talk abt what i think and stuff

so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.

eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that

my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3

im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.

when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.

i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.

my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.

i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.

im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3

but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now

i guess

im just tryin to be a bigger better person

i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose

lately i been emotional but i think

i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn

i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that

[sammygender]

things that start to really depress me if i think about them hard enough, an incomplete list:

1. im actually still a freak 24/7 apparently i talk a lot and i think people can still sense that there’s something off about me although i seem to have lost the ability to sense that they sense that not that i’ve ever really been able to sense that & the joke of it is other autistic people always tell me i really am weird & they don’t say it like an insult they say it like a solidarity thing like neither of us care that much about normality & they’ll mention being briefly normal & i’ll say, lol, this IS me trying to be normal, & they’ll go really? seriously? THIS is you trying to be normal? & i’ll go yeah, yeah, im just really bad at it, & they’ll go really? ur serious? no way, & i’ll go well, i mean, it’s not like i really care, but yeah, this is me at my most normal, & i feel that sense of weirdness like have i been being that freakish this whole time? seriously? im just me? im being pretty normal aren’t i? & they’ll go no, no, oh it’s so easy, just listen to what people say, and copy it a bit, and don’t talk much, and- & i go yes, yes, i’ve done that before, but it doesn’t work, it doesn’t- people can sense there’s something different about me, i don’t know, & then i feel ashamed of it, like i’ve revealed too much, & its like im 14 again in the park seeing my now ex girlfriends dad & i want him to like me, so bad, no one ever does, & sorry that i’m not normal, sorry that you made me feel like i was allowed to be, sorry that i didn’t even realise i wasn’t being normal this whole time, sorry that normal IS a real concept and not just a statistical distribution binomial style X~B(P,N) normal and extra fucking weird, & sorry, man, okay, jesus, this is me trying to be normal, or at least this is me here and this is me trying, i don’t know what i’m doing but i sure am trying, &-

& fuck you, isn’t autism the very condition where you can’t be fucking normal? sorry im shit at masking, sorry there’s still something discernibly different about me even when i do everything right, sorry there always has been. i know you’re not malicious and i know no one usually ever is but it hurts when everyone assumes you’re this way on purpose and not because you have no other way to be; & yes it’s nice to be thought of as strong but it also means people say cruel shit to you and you just have to laugh; & that’s not even directed at the conversation i had today even though a lot of thjs post is; & im not mad at him or anything if i’m honest i find it hard to get mad at people that i haven’t already dehumanised even though i have anger issues and i’m angry all the time but like i’m just a little sad i guess because this is exactly what always happens; &, like, i remember my ex would act like if i started dressing like a normal girl i’d be normal and well-liked, like that was an option available to me. but i’ve tried it, i have, i have. if anything i just get freakier and less likeable because they expect me to be like them; there’s that sense of a funhouse mirror, of— what’s the name of that fucking syndrome. it’s a little weird, a little unsettling. right? & when i was seven i figured out that if i acted like i was weird on purpose i could pretend it to myself as well, and, that way, when they all rejected me, i could pretend that i’d let that happen, chosen it even, and that i could simply stop being weird at any time and have them back, and i was choosing not to; & it’s amazing what the delusion of choice makes better; & i’ve done it all, that’s the thing, i’ve tried being normal and i’ve tried eating healthy and eating badly and eating normally or maybe not that last one, & i’ve worn all the clothes and been a girl & a boy & an everything in between, & i’ve done workbooks & taken tests & cried to my parents & repressed everything & tried to kill myself & stopped killing myself. & i’ve smoked fags & drunk vodka & been crazy as a result & not as a result & hopped trains & bought lighters on a child ticket & all these sorts of normal normal crazy normal things that get all unhinged when i do them because something about me is just inherently too much i guess; & i’ve done it all, i have, i promise, and i’ve written about it 100000 times over, and i’ve faked and i’ve lied and i’ve copied other people and i’ve stayed silent and restricted my company to only one other person, and most of all i’ve exercised and journaled and practiced positive self talk and i’ve done it all, i really have, and-

& im still like this. fuck. fuck holy shit. oh my god. i am still like this

[trobeds]

bamboo yeah i shower when i get home n then put on anything thats comfortable to lie around in

sage i dont know i get insane about art in general because its all like WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but probably either literature or music because like. those are thee most I AM FUCKING FERAL DONT TOUCH ME forms of art for me. the way the words flow together in writing is sooo and MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love when a melody just makes me feel so so much and im like wtf its a song but its not just a song its not /just/ anything this is my italicized fuck moment i am not okay

camellia i was loud and outspoken and id make jokes which is the same way i am now i guess but like. ive become more sad and i cry a lot more now and i get lost in my thoughts a lot more now but i think mostly im still the same. kind of annoying n very passionate about things i guess :>

ivy when im happy i will be bouncing on walls kind of excited and i wont stop smiling and ill talk more and ill laugh more and you can definitely tell im excited. over text ill be all caps more <3 !! but im a better actor over text so u probably wouldnt be able to tell how im feeling unless i told you (i probably would i dont keep shit to myself). when im sad irl ill probably go to the bathroom a lot more so i can go cry in there and nobody will see me aha. but u can definitely tell from my face because i dont smile up to my eyes and i look down n everything n try to keep my face as blank as possible. when im angry ill either rant or cry or be kind of closed off around the person im mad at (unless its my dad. if its my dad we will end up fighting lmfao)

palm tree no not really

nutmeg uhh honestly the house is kind of boring. theres some photos n shit here and there but its very like. meh. my room is also kind of bland so :\

papyrus so first of all heres the playlist ive been looping

FIRST LOVE/LATE SPRING. BRB BEING FUCKING INSANE I KNOW IVE BEEN INSANE ABOUT THIS SONG TO YOU BEFORE BUT WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FERAL IT MAKES ME ok so what do i like about it? everything. mitskis voice is sooooo and the lyrics and the melody anb dtthe feelings im feelign rn b rb sobbinf

[chelleztjs18]

I don't know, if I enjoy the company too much, I might never leave hahaha 😅

No sorry, I meant that I like mango smoothie. Imagine though if they did make mango sticky rice as a drink... I don't think I'd enjoy it. It'd be okay, but the consistency might be weird.

Maybe someday, I make something for you to try, and you can make whatever you're good at cooking or baking. Then do like a master chef kind of thing, where we taste it and then make comments and win a prize haha 😄

Oh it makes sense. You gotta let loose of all that pent up anger if you have any, not good to keep it all in.

Ahahahahaha sinchan! I remember that cartoon! Wasn't he like a little perv or smart-ass?

What is something you regret doing, or not doing?

Have you ever broken someone's heart?

-CuriousGeorge

Haha its okay...i like to cook n share it with people, n let them eat at my place n just sit n drink n eat, talking about stuff. Im not a people person but i love it when my friends n my family come and give me company. It's in my culture i guess n i grew up with bunch of family gathering..sometimes i dont want to be in it sometimes i do.hahhaha.

Haha yeah mango smoothies is good.i like it. But i love eating the fruit more. Especially if it's cold n sweet and have that mango scents. I remember my mom like to cut them in half n cuts in cubes but didnt cut all the way in so it will still to the skin n i will just eat it off of it when i was a kid. My dad likes to cut all of them put them in tupperwear n store it in fridge so we can always have snacks.

Haha mango sticky rice is probably to thick to be in a smoothie.lol

Hahaa that sounds like a good idea, i like it.. u make something n i'll make something too. Then we r just not only gonna be the eyebags duo but also foodie duo n gain weight together 🤣😅 i hv a bestfriend here, before she moved to colorado, we alwyas pick the same day off, every monday we gonna go n visit different koren bbq place or other food, then go to costco or asian stores n shop snacks together 🤣 both of us love the sparkling wine Stella Rossa, n we bought like 10 or 12 different flavors (i forgot) so we can have them together ocasssionally, people were looking at us weird 🤣

Yeah, it takes so much to get me mad, when im upset i try not to say anything because i know i will say something hurtful. So i prefer to keep them myself but i can only keep them so much, u know. 😊

Haha yeah kinda..it was pretty funny though..when i see it again now, i dont think sinchan is a good comic or cartoon for kids 😅🤣

Something i regret doing, i was a very workaholic n ambitious with my work n i didnt spend much time with my mom. When i moved here, time difference n i was tired from work, i didnt call her much. N then she passed away.

What i regret not doing, to explore more with women i guess. 😅 n also regret not find new friends i can practice my french with. So far thats what i think of. Will let u know if i found more.

Whats urs?

Have i broken someone's heart? I dont know. I hope i havent. I dont if this counts, but there'e this girl from wattpad, she is 15 she talks to me, she said she wants a friend n i was being nice so i talk to her but she turns so weird, found my tiktok n saying my daughter is cute bla bla bla. N when i dont reply she complaints while i already told her that i cant talk so often because i have a life. N she turns really toxic n told her that i hv to block her because she is acting weird n make me uncomfortable. N she blows up sending me long upset text..so i dont know if i "break" her heart or make her upset. 😅

U seems like a sweet person, so i doubt u broke someone's heart, but have u?

Cheerio!

[bangcakes]

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