#im really loving the narrative that we are building together...

[popfizzles]

how did Tumbler end up having a crush on Sloth, how does he feel about it and did Rummer have a reaction for it

What??

[yyuwii]

wmmap; athy is actually an unreliable narrator (sometimes)

so it's come to my attention that Athy is much more of an unreliable narrator than she's lets on, it took me a few re-reads to notice, just because it's incredibly subtle and only applies to her younger days with Claude specifically

When Athy coughed up blood and was bedridden, she thinks that her dad is being heartless and forcing her back to sleep but that's not true because

its not that shes being noisy but before lucas pops up, this is all he knows to do to alleviate her pain. he doesn't want to her to be in pain and not because she was actually being noisy.

claude putting her to sleep was his way of caring for athy.

but athy doesn't know that, i guess she's in too much pain to listen to this conversation. but when we follow her perspective and her inner thoughts on things, we actually end up believing her narrative, and this builds up that claude is uncaring and cold

here's another early example;

again, we follow athy thoughts and she thinks that Claude thinks that he was referring that her being a fairy is nonsense

which makes claude seem cold and unloving again

which is suprise suprise actually untrue, if you look back a little earlier during the class the madam talks about something else,

he was actually referring to this, her putting athy down because of diana's commoner bloodline and athy not being a "pure-bred" aristocrat

you can see the panel where he thinks about it for a while, and Athy's little slip-up (because she doesn't like bringing diana up in front of claude due to her fear of abandonment) and she hesitates to actually say that the madam meant that she looks like her mom and not some fairy

claude knew, and he is shown to be well aware of the nature of nobles and how people think (which makes sense because it is canon that he is very intelligent).

he knew what was actually said to athy, and he's actually telling her to not care about the nonsense about what they say about her mom and implying she is not pure enough. he was trying to reassure her and made her feel better after she heard something terrible about herself and her mom

funnily enough, he doesn't deny that athy looks like a fairy when you realise what he was actually referring to

so, throughout most of her childhood claude actually showed love and affection in his own way, but it was never really acknowledged by athy, she has always misinterpreted it and missed the signs of it because she was scared that he was going to kill her eventually and didn't want to get attached

i think im going to write about how much claude is misunderstood in this fandom and break down his character tmr... anyways this is going to be where I write bl and my literature notebook :>

anyways claude is a really tragic and broken character and wmmap is literally about how athy and claude heal each other's trauma by bonding together as family which I don't think is talked about at all

my ask box is also open so send me anything! :>

[ktarotttt]

do idols really not have time to date? or is that a myth?

(allegedly. this is a tarot reading. energy-based. not fact.)

so boom—this whole reading was inspired by an interview clip where a street interviewer asked jackson wang if it was true that idols don’t have time to date. and jackson was like, “that’s a stereotype. that’s literally not true.”

and i was like… okay. let’s test it.

because let’s be real—not delusionally, but like logistically:

if you’re constantly on tour, working, training, flying, and only sleeping 3 hours a night, where are you fitting love in? how are you even emotionally available enough to date someone, because i know for me im not half as busy as them and i when i have days off the only thing i want to do is sleep lmfaoooo

so i asked the cards, point blank:

is it true that idols don’t date because they don’t have time, or is it something else?

cards pulled:

eight of wands + ace of cups, six of swords, king of swords, queen of swords, the hanged man, six of pentacles, judgment, knight of pentacles, page of pentacles

and listen. the eight of wands is the industry. the pace. fast, chaotic, no breaks. back-to-back schedules, no time to breathe. but the ace of cups sitting underneath it? that tells me:

yes—they still catch feelings.

they still get crushes. fall in love. want closeness. even when they’re moving 100 mph, they still get hit with emotions.

but here’s the twist:

six of swords + king of swords + queen of swords + the hanged man

= they know how to emotionally detach when they have to. they’re trained to. not just professionally, but mentally. this is “okay, i like this person—but is it smart?”

this is “i caught feelings, but it doesn’t align with my goals.”

this is “i want this, but i’ve sacrificed too much to get distracted now.”

the king + queen of swords appearing together? that’s both male and female idols. both sides of the game. and they’re not heartless—but they move with logic. they’ve had to build a mental filter that checks every feeling like:

“is this good for me?”

“can this go public?”

“is this gonna mess up my path?”

if the answer is no—they let it go. simple. painful. but real.

and then you get to six of pentacles and judgment…

and that’s where the public comes in.

yes, idols date. but many of them choose relationships that are mutually beneficial.

“we keep each other safe, it’s low-maintenance, we both understand the grind.”

this doesn’t mean fake love—but it means low-risk love.

because judgment? that’s outside opinion. exposure. scandal. fear of being ruined by headlines. and they’re very aware of it.

knight of pentacles + page of pentacles closes it out and confirms the real core:

idols do want connection. but at the end of the day, they’re focused on building their legacy first.

they date when it fits. when it makes sense. when it won’t shake everything they’ve sacrificed for.

final takeaway (allegedly):

idols do date. but not recklessly. and not emotionally.

they feel things. but they move smart.

the “they don’t have time” narrative? not wrong—but it’s deeper than that.

they just know that sometimes, dating is a luxury they can’t afford.

not because of time.

and what’s crazy is—when i’m in their energy? it’s not even like they’re fighting it. like, the whole “you can’t date” thing isn’t some heartbreaking injustice to them the way it feels to us as fans or just regular people. they’re not sitting around protesting it—it’s just what it is. it feels like it’s been so deeply ingrained in them, especially the ones who started training young, that they don’t even question it. they’ve been taught from the beginning that this is normal. like, “of course we can’t date. of course we can’t do what we want. this is the job.” and it’s not even just dating—it’s everything. like, to them, dating restrictions aren’t even the wild part. the energy is very “y’all think not dating is bad? oh babe, you haven’t seen half of what this life demands.”

and that’s the part that’s heavy to me. because it’s not natural. it’s not healthy. but it’s so normalized that it doesn’t even read as a problem to them anymore. they’ve adapted to the system so deeply, it’s like… this is just what it means to be an idol.

[3-2-4]

smth smth the different ways oscar and lando express their admiration-respect-appreciation of each other.

oscar's well-articulated elaborate responses in interviews, promises of stability, of having strong principles (we've always worked in terms of doing the right thing for each other and i don't think that will ever change), and being together a very long time, belief in the capabilities of the two of them as a team and as drivers individually...

vs lando who's respect and praise for oscar most of the time comes out in post-race interviews and is much more like. inthemoment i guess, concerns things that happen during a race weekend. it's the little momentary things, the stuff that you say when your adrenalin's still high and youre feeling more than thinking. unprompted im just happy for oscar, oscar drove a great race, he deserved it, (heart-eyed) winner oscar piastri, our driver of the day, me and oscar– yeah. dude we get it....

also there's the aspect of how oscar's respect for lando was there even before they met. like that's the guy who's career he's been following since he was still 14 and carting in australia (ugh this is kind of the landoscar post of all time). he's seen and is well aware (idk how to do timestams. but see the maiden podium question.) of of lando's achievements, he still has this sort of admiration for lando that kind of makes it impossible for him to admit that he's outdone him. vs how to lando oscar was this almost unknown entity before they became teammates, and how there is now this joy and excitement that comes with getting to experience all of oscar's victories w/ him, or realizing that oscar's the one who can like, really challenge him. or something. do you get it do you understand i feel as though i am rambling incoherently here.

(here, im also reminded of that landoscar communication analysis video and the thing about how oscar's approach to explaining tends to be more detatched, almost technical – and like. those aren't words that can be used to explain relationships really, but i still think there is something to be said about how, for oscar, the big thing is the fact that they've been able to build something like this, that they're still working on perfecting this thing they're building and that it really is long-term and it adds up to the big picture, that they can set an example for the entire team.... – whereas lando, when he explains things, has a tendency to personalize, provide irl examples from his experience. like yeah again, the smaller, passing things that he himself has felt and can relate to.)

and then there's the way they most of the time end up expressing the same sentiment in general, not just when it concerns the nature of their relationship, and just have different ways of going about it (which then allows(?) people who like one of them and dislike the other to twist the other's words, see lando and oscar both saying that they are closer to other teams than ppl like to think, and only lando getting called out for it or whatever (why?? maybe because oscar's got a more diplomatic way of speaking. but to be Honest mostly its probably bc people have a landonarrative constructed already and are willing to look past context and the actual things being said only bc they want to see that narrative actualized. becauseefoneoverallisanarrativesportaboveeverythingelse– whatever.). but all of that's.. a different topic). here see lando in the shanghai postrace conference and how he wants some things on the car, I want different things. But normally our ways align and we always want the same thing in the end.  and have you tried the landoscar ontrack offtrack parallels i thought the landoscar ontrack offtrack parallels were lovely.

and idk. even with the rpfgoggles off... im kindofsortof glad they've ended up w/ each other and are going to grow old together (was hard to pick the clip i wanted to embed in that,,,, they just keep doing this shit i cant keep up.)... or whatever.

[heartofbusan]

Best laid plans of stomach bugs and men.

The chemistry is the point.

Some people underestimate the effort and toll it takes on ones body and schedule to fly 14 hours to visit another person. 14 hours to spend 72 hours together means commitment. It means bro's before ho's and I am frankly HERE FOR IT.

The discourse I am seeing is extremely telling of how fickle people are about their support for jikook. People watch too much scripted reality tv 🙄 bcs they really expected this relationship, this reunion if you will, to play out in multiple angle close ups and medium shots and several wide angle shots with dramatic zooms and heavily directed post-moment recaps with dramatic silences or eye rolls to play up the drama? The lack of moments, the MUNDANITY if you will IS THE POINT. They are so real to me, so life like, so domestic goals!

Being quiet with each other. No uncomfortable silences, but comfortable togetherness.

That's what leads to horny bed fighting, which in my eyes could lead to more if not for the cameras 👀 just me?

When they said unscripted, this is what they meant. When they said unplanned, this is what they referred to. Not directed, not scripted, not fanservice 🙄 to fit a planned narrative. This is how their relationship plays out. I'd go so far as to call it a documentary instead of a reality series. While documentaries have tons of genres within itself, this genre is one where there's a broad range of planned activities, but where the narrative is constructed in post production: editing. Id know, since im an editor. This tells me that they counted on the natural chemistry between 'JeonJi' (SO CUTE) to 'lead the way' instead of a multitude of directed interactions that they (the producers) would have needed to tick a dramatic narrative box.

So what does that lead to? In my professional opinion as a director/editor the first two episodes lacked a dramatic arc. There was little directing going on to force one

the chemistry is the point

The flirting, the lulls in conversation, them being together, seeing them have fun, and reconnecting is the point. Instead of what they're doing or what they're talking about. The episodes, therefore, are kinda boring in the sense of entertainment, but wildly exiting in the sense of what we get to see play out. And it's incredibly nuanced. And nuance often flies over people's heads..again, the crowd that expects to be held by the hand when it comes to drama: reality tv.

It's a huge risk to take as a production. Let's not underestimate that! 'Are You Sure' was so unscripted that they didn’t even have a title until halfway into the second or third day. Again: they were banking on JeonJi to build upon their chaos to lead to a narrative and a title, etc. That is so telling to me. That them being together is the raison d'etre of this show. Jimin 'sacrificing' his time to fly to the US, Jeonkook making space in his busy schedule time to spend time unwinding, JeonJi making good on their need to finally spend time together after the booked and busy year they've had.

Jimin enjoying the hell out of Jungkook having fun.

Because that is who Jimin has always been: his adventurous spirit takes him places because he loves exploring and being in tue moment. He'll willingly travel to have those moments. Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t. He dislikes leaving the comfort of his surroundings because he doesn’t see the pot of gold that being adventurous brings him while he's comfortable in his home. I relate 😩 so much. Just planning trips alone makes me enter a comatose state, so I'd rather not go than sacrifice my rest to plan an adventure. I don't even know I'll get anything out of. That is, until Im actually on that planned trip and having the time of my life! They've always been like that. Jimin had to be the incentive to get Jungkook out on that trip. Take.him.by the hand if you will 😭😭

And then there's the stomach bug. YOU DAMMNED CURSED THING. It threw a HUGE wrench into their plans, and if anyone doesn’t take that into consideration, then you haven't had a stomachbug EVER while still having to face up to your commitments. Park Jimin will NEVER back down from his commitments, his promises *pinky promises* are sacred to him, and this bug took away the catalyst of this duo. Jungkook suddenly had to be the extrovert of the two, and boy, does he struggle in that role. He was to me his usuall baby elf self. So adorable and cute with his nose focused on food and Jimin’s care. But my man loves to rely on Jimin to lead the way in shenanigans and to make any moment entertaining, and you could just tell Jimin wasn't in his feels enough to overcome his lack of energy. Poor baby. Really, he's the best of us because I would have straight up refused to be filmed in that moment. A whole night of diarrhea and still showing up to film the next day?! NO MA'M NOT ME.

If you've read up to this point, I commend you. It was just supposed to be a short rant, but it became an entire essay because I can not with the overly reactionary nature some people show. Drawing entire conclusions based on two hour long episodes. I know, I might be contradicting myself here but extenuating circumstances and all. Jimin wasn’t on his game, and Jungkook was also recovering. When a show is banking on the chemistry between two people to shoulder the brunt of this show and said people are extremely sick, well then what can I tell you?

We need to sit back and enjoy the fact that we are getting such access to them, so unfiltered. Jikook enjoying each other, come rain or shine, in sickness and in health, whatever the mood brings, because that to me is more valuable than DRAMA or NARRATIVE. We'll probably get a bit more of that once they're going to Jeju, and they're both hopefully healthy. We're even getting a new element for them to play off of: Tete shows up! Like a jack in the box, and Jungkook seems to not be having it, lmao...see..unscripted and natural. I love that for them!

Idols are people first, and we need to celebrate that, not demand more.

[buddiesbuddiess]

maybe i’ve just been here way too long but a “hint” in any form to me is just a copout at this point. we’ve been getting nothing but hints, and if that’s what they decide to give us, then i don’t think i’ll be able to watch the show again because it will be clear they’ll delay it to the end of season 9 and we’ll either be stuck with 30 seconds of buddie canon screentime if the show doesn’t get renewed, or we have to wait until 2027 to actually see buddie together

and maybe im mean for this but i dont really care if the GA need to be eased into it- they dont- because i’ve been waiting for seven, almost eight years for this, and having to wait another? possibly two? it’s starting to not get worth it anymore

and even then- a hint is always able to be walked back on, even a verbal confession; tim obviously doesn’t care about how the fandom reacts to him making awful decisions, so if they don’t actually go canon next episode (canon to me is an acknowledgment and action- eg going on a date or kissing, etc) then i’m not gonna be able to keep going through the emotional ringer since they can’t just commit already, and have to do all this bait stuff

bc im sorry, joint interviews with the actors isn’t “buddie hint” material- that’s “we’re either full on baiting or we’ve actually gone canon”

i don’t mean any of this to be an attack on you- im moreso just venting my frustrations at the different theories ive seen; especially since everyone so loudly was like “oh buddie for sure is going canon in s8” and now its just “oh well, maybe next year again 🤷‍♀️” like we’ve been doung every hiatus since s7 started

I do get what you’re saying. Maybe I misspoke when I used the word hint in the other ask. What I meant what a clear and undeniable canon confirmation that buddie is about to be given a developing romantic storyline and that there’s nowhere it can go than that.

That’s what I meant by verbal feelings realization and/or aborted love confession. When I said I don’t think they’re going to kiss, it’s because in my opinion that’s not really where they’re at yet at the point we’re at in the story. I can see an ALMOST kiss happening. I think any of these things can fulfil the “buddie canon season 8” hopes without speed running the relationship and leaving hype and time for the real will they won’t they do develop in season 9. Because the thing about will they won’t they storylines in these kinds of shows is that they pretty much always will.

Regarding the general audience, I’m sorry but we do have to remember this show is written for the masses, not just specifically for the fans. We’ve been waiting for buddie for years, but the majority of the audience has not. So if they are committed to buddie, they have to do the work in making the general audience not only see what we’re seeing, but actively root for buddie too.

But if they end season 8 still just “leaving the door open” without committing to anything then I’m with you on being sick of waiting. It also seems illogical not to follow through with this storyline this season since they’ve been building it up for the majority of the season. If they are committed to buddie, it seems dumb not to capitalise on the insane hype they’ve built on the pairing this season and the work they’ve done to establish romantic undertones. So if nothing of note happens then I’m not really expecting it ever to happen tbh.

What the other anon was asking was what I THINK is going to happen, and I’ve started managing my expectations a lot more over the last month. Because I know what I think will happen in this story if they’re following what makes most narrative sense and picking up on clear storytelling cues. But as I said in the other ask, this show doesnt always follow the most narrative sense. So it’s hard to actually say what I think will happen when I know what I’m picking up from narrative cues, but that I can’t fully trust the writers to follow their own narrative.

[elrielffs]

Elriel is slow burn. I love that theyre not like Nessian or Feysand. They're different. Two people getting over their old lovers and finding each other. I think the reason why im so obsessed with them is because its not all about the dagger girl x whatever man trope that everyone seems to obsessed over these days, its so overused. I love how soft they can be. soft couples deserve better.

Yes anon! Elriel is the slowest of burns. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my enemies to lovers, bombastic romances where they bicker and argue, I loved the Rowaelins, the Feysands, the Nessians--but they've all become a dime a dozen. SJM is literally the blue print that all current/modern romantasy operates off of now.

Elriel to me is something new, not only for SJM but for the genre. She's written Elain adjacent FMCs before--Yrene and Elide but I don't think their MC and romance follow the trajectory that Elriel are on.

Elriel to me has the chance to be Romantic. Yes yes, all the couples are romantic but Elriel is Romantic. It's something new for SJM, not just their relationship but their story together in general and I'm also hoping it brings a new trend to a tired and worn derivative genre. The current trends have their place ofc and I'm not saying they are bad, just that it is overdone and and overwhelming an already overabundant genre that is quickly become fast fashion and paint by the numbers.

And topped off that Elain and Azriel are both mysterious characters, I disagree with people that say Elain is "unbaked" because if you pay attention to her scenes you can see there is more going on there then the surface level. (I find it hilarious that Elain's personal arc is about blooming into her true personality and showing everyone that she is more than they believe her to be at surface level because a good chunk of this fandom follows that narrative along with characters trying to box her in.) SJM has said that Elain is a walking spoiler and that's why we haven't gotten her POV or anything. She's being kept under lock and key because there's so much surrounding her. And Azriel, for all we have gotten hints here and there, we don't really know that much about either. See how people screamed and cried he was OOC with the one POV we got of him (we all know why they say that...) it's because people don't really know or understand Azriel either. He was not OOC to me.

Romances like Elriel don't get written that often because they are harder because you can't fall back on filler "banter" and petty arguments or an already pre- established bond to short cut to tension or interest. You actually have to build the romance from the ground up and have actual conversations. Elriel are soft with each other, their relationship isn't full of blown out arguments or witty remarks back and forth that we've seen over and over and I am so excited to see how SJM plays them, how they interact from their POV, how their conversations go.

Elriel have the potential not only to be amazing but to be the best romance for me personally. I have liked other couples of course, but no way have I ever been this ride or die for a ship. I am so ready for their book. People can not like it or whatever, fine, not everything is everyone's cup of tea but no one can say it's something they have seen before from SJM or in the genre.

[earlymorningfoxhunt]

The Wager didnt hit as much as it could have heres my thoughts:

[this is like a free piece of media, this guys having fun with his ocs, and im having fun consuming them. I just wanna yap on the yapping website. a 9 minute long full orchestra piece and bone citadel makes up for it lol]

1: Lilliths nightmare sequence

I was expecting her to have new tricks. mother darkness said she "creates nightmares of peoples deepest desires" which would be way more effective on arthur because last time reliving his favorite memories was harder for him than reliving his trauma. it was so wonderfully teed up to be john and him being happy together and they would have have to reaffirm the thesis of giving up the easy way out and face reality with nothing but their own fire. I didnt even think this was grackling, it felt so purposely foreshadowed.

2: Arthur, and John felt dulled

arthur being like "are you going to honor our deal?" when in the company he said he doesn't believe kayne will, and JOHN just saying the blackstones location out loud when they both already put the pieces together, it was a bruh moment. it extra made the 2 weeks they've spent on the road feel nonexistent. time skips work really well because beening pried away from arthurs head is scary and the mystery of what happened is great, but for this one it didn't feel like we missed anything other than the chance to know the crew. a small nod to a contingency plan would have made them failing hit harder.

3: The last 2 polls irked me

patrons pretty regularly chose the combative option and if feels like we've got nothing out of it. his death was inevitable(/pos) but I wish he could have gotten like a little sass in there. there a disconnect where kaynes goes "you don't want to honor your deal... I won't honor ours" and then 4 minutes later arthur says "but our deal", and it makes the patron decision feel unincorporated.

patrons loss of agency can be really cool, arthur not getting a choice to carve up antoine is good horror, but this was the big final choice we knew was coming for a while and it lost the emotional weight it built up. it just felt like a meaningless blorbo fight, i fucking loved the blorbo fight, but we went into it knowing there was only one option.

4: MAN tag your loss of autonomy

taking away the choice from both voters and arthur is amazing horror but DAMN I was not ready for it. like ooof this and the horig moment was rough. I do not think it was intentionally alluding to a real life issue but arthur lester going "this is all my fault" did not help! AGAIN great narrative i just wish there was a heads up.

What did we learn? uuuuh harlan can write conclusions very well but the build up can be a bit agonizing due to the restrictions of the game mechanics + i wanted lillith and jarthur to be cooler.

for me, the patreon is neat but damn the full parts are the true way to consume this.

[lambouillet]

I'm actually so glad to have talked to people who knew just being brave enough to say something was enough to get people talking.

I'm definitely not the most eloquent person, i just ramble on until something comprehensible comes out, and click post. So i may fumble my words often even as im editing this lol but again,

I am very passionate for world building story and narrative, ive always loved to get ideas and expand them to their full potential and cotl is one of those things that is absolutely perfect for my brain with the added bonus of my own life experience as a spiritual abuse survivor, to me, for a game about cults, i barely see people utilize the multitudes of layers it has, its history, its relationship with the state, the mysticism, the people in them, it all can play together to narrate such a rich story only if there was still an importance and respect being held for it, not only just to know more, but to understand it beyond just whats on the surface, because not only does it really pain me to hear that we are omitting such a fundamental thing about the world of cotl, we are also erasing what little survivors have that resonated with them, as silly as it sounds, and I think thats a fault that comes with the apathy and self importance hyper individualism has that makes people prioritise worthless comfort at the expense of other people, i shouldn't have to say this its a shame that i am really but i promise you that being curious and empathetic does wonders for storytelling; Caring about other people will make you an effective storyteller. You're not being reprimanded when the people you're writing about want to educate you on these things.

It really does nothing but harm people who want to acknowledge the underbelly of what is, in the title, a cult and dismiss it just because you personally find it uncomfortable, Its very, very shameful to come around saying this to other creatives who are just acknowledging topics already in, or related to the game, and also very telling when you prioritise your personal comfort without a second thought. Instead of sitting with the uneasiness, you do not stop to hesitate to show idiotic disdain and contempt for people who may just be calling attention to abuse that is inherent cults especially when you have no way of knowing the background of the other person is. The fact that we can't talk about this without having some people take it so personally to back potential survivors into a corner of silence is alarming.

Ok like Alright? take it from me, Ive already said it a hundred times, but the reason the game resonated with me as much as it did despite its silly and more laidback approach to cults is because it made me realise that in many ways, that i grew up in a similar type of by fanaticism, a very specific brand involving folk Catholicism + spirituality in a country that's already very much controlled by religion and superstition, that it terribly impacted me in ways that'll follow me for life as well for many others I've known. and while I'm not gonna go into specifics, most of all is a tangible real thing about it to me is the abuse and something I can't get rid of, especially when it's being used as an aid in my work. And it will always be there! Even if it's not apparent.

Regardless, it's something I hope to portray well in all my work and will still talk about extensively, even in a humorous lense. Lightheartedness does not equate regressing into blissful ignorance, and it does not mean that you have to willfully look away to get to it, because with all things in real life there's a nuance and a multifaceted ness to it that I think is being greatly undermined here. You don't have to but it helps to think more critically about the things you're consuming and look inwards and then outwards to the people who's stories you're writing about.

[earthgirlonline]

hi

hi guys. sam here.

ive been desperately trying to figure out the best way to tell the story of my next project, earthgirl. which is not only a group of songs, but a cohesive narrative i have been building for months.

ive been trying to find a pretty way to say this, but im just gonna go ahead and explain this in layman's terms. im at a really weird phase in both my life and my career, where i sometimes feel on track and other days i feel like the most irrelevant person in the world. i go from falling in love with the project i have created, to wanting to scrap it entirely because i feel it will never be good enough.

lately, ive honestly just felt rlly fking discouraged. ive wanted to give up and quit and scream cry into a pillow and sit in my room with my cats and eat ice cream and watch my new favorite show a million little things all day long and only get up to pull tarot cards or to go pee or to get my other cat from the other room.

i'll admit, i've been hooked on feeling low.

this feeling really came to a head a few weeks ago when i released earthgirl, the first single off of my upcoming project of the same name. i have spent the past year putting everything i have into this project: every single song, the entire visual world, the narrative behind the project, the videos, the looks, the socials, the everything. i have spent countless nights putting together and pulling apart mood boards, stitching together song lyrics, musing with my best friend and collaborator eva over each melody and each metaphor until our brains hurt.

the project itself is dense. to the naked ear, it's a bunch of pop songs. but, what most (if not all) of you don't know is that it is actually a concept project about queerness. it is a cohesive narrative that follows a protagonist, earthgirl, as she attempts to find a "cure" for heartbreak. in doing so, she is transported to another dimension where she discovers new aspects of herself, her identity, and the lack thereof. (more on this later lol). i can't tell you what happens at the end. but you get the point.

this project is layered. and important to me. so this release felt high stakes. it represented the beginning of launching into a new phase of my artistry and self that felt raw and dynamic and real. before the release, i kept thinking...how delightful! what a beautiful and honest representation of myself as an artist...the world will surely love it!

but no! not one press outlet agreed to cover the song. not one person agreed to interview me. not one streaming service playlisted it. it was a uniquely humbling experience and i was honestly devastated. and embarrassed. i had put so much pressure on the earthgirl release in my mind, i think because i had never cared about any piece of art so much. and i had never made anything so honest. and it all felt so visceral and real.

ultimately, i was just so fkn frustrated because i didn't feel i was provided with the opportunity to even tell my story. no one would give me the time of day. and i didn't get why. all i could think to myself was...is this song just trash? is the story not compelling? am i fr just an irrelevant rando with mush for a brain?

so for a few weeks i felt rlly bad for myself and wanted to quit music. but ppl told me i couldn't. and eventually, i came to agree with them. and i stopped feeling bad for myself, got out of bed, turned off a million little things, put my tarot cards away, and i locked in.

basically, i decided: i don't need an opportunity to tell my own story. i just have to tell it. and what better way to do that, than on tumblr.

so here i am going direct to source. im going to tell you this story—my story—chapter by chapter. the way i want to tell it.

from now on, this is going to be a landing page where you guys can dive into the world of earthgirl and better understand its every layer, every lyric, every visual. its a place where we all can discuss, theorize, ask questions. ideate. realize. (all of which are some of my FAVORITE THINGS to do).

it's going to be a long story. but i think it's a good one.

more soon. xx

sam

[cocotine]

loose thoughts about kpop demon hunters at 5am on a wednesday - i feel like im the only one who was a bit underwhelmed. the visuals & animation were great, some of the choices of when to switch to 12fps were iffy to me but not so much that im mad about it.

love the designs, but theres something about rumi's braid that works well in the concept art but feels a bit clunky in 3D, i think its that the proportions are so dramatic (thats a THICK-ass braid) while the other characters' designs are fairly grounded. it looks better with some outfits than others but i wonder if it wouldve benefitted from being like tweeeeenty percent more natural-looking.

plot-wise it felt like there were a lot of interesting narrative ideas opened and then half just imploded by the end. like why build up this lore that demons actually do feel and maybe they don't deserve to suffer, only to turn around and be like. nah only me and the other human all these other demons can eat shit. i was expecting more of a nuanced angle like. ok we defeat the big bad and free the demons and release their souls, we gotta work together. or something. but instead its like nope here's a new cage made of girlboss thats fundamentally the same.

like i feel like there was too much going on in the narrative in too little time to flesh any one thing out completely, and it ended up running the plot really thin. like the most important thing was the girls' relationship and i felt like that got the most attention at least. but its yet another movie that i felt like would've been paced WAY better as a series

anyway my opinion doesn't really mean anything and i still had fun watching it, i just had to word vomit bc i couldn't sleep with all these thoughts in my brain

[aihoshiino]

I'm actually so glad you talked about the timeline issue in this chapter because now I've been wondering ever since reading the chapter, what did truly happen between kamiai???

At this point since they are still together even during the murder suicide...doesn't that mean Ai already has her twins? And that Hikaru had already gone to the hospital prior with Ryosuke? Did Hikaru accept the kids then? How did he even meet a deranged the fan Ryosuke, and why? When and how did Ai reveal her pregnancy, what was his reaction...my head hurts 😭😭

Also, the cut 162 with Ai's rejection already happened...so when are we ever seeing the "I can't love you" scene anymore...

Other than that, im glad we're finally getting a father-daughter talk (that we will never know the details of, like the dvd lol)

Kinda funny when we think that...Aqua got his mother's point of view (the dvd) and Ruby is getting her father...the parallels intensifies

EVERY TIME I THINK I'M FINALLY FIGURING IT OUT, SOME HORSEPISS LIKE THIS HAPPENS... AKASAKA YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

My only hope at this point is that we're going to see some of these scenes in proper flashback from Kamiki or maybe even Ai herself via us FINALLY FINDING OUT WHAT'S ON THOSE DVDS AKASAKA I'LL KILL YOU and they didn't want to spend time building up versions of events that were going to hold on a second. Literally was midsentence about to justify that by saying 'they didn't want to portray these events then go jk it was fake' only to remember they literally already did that with the KamiAi romance scenes turning out to be shit Yoriko made up. So I quite licherally do not even know anymore. i am Giving Up !!

on a more positive note tho..... god I am SO fascinated by the arc's continued paralleling of the twins to the 'opposite' parent, so to speak and I'm tentatively hopeful that the RBHK meeting means that this is something intentional. At the very least, I think it's undeniable that in the ways AQRB are paralleling the HKAI relationship, Aqua is the one in Ai's role, as the savior that Hikaru/Ruby is relying on. 143 makes this pretty explicit with Ruby describing Gorou as her 'oshi' and thus placing Aqua on the pedestal that Ai had been forced to occupy.

It's honestly kind of... refreshing! Because of Kamiki's so transparently telegraphed similarities to Aqua and Ruby's narrative role in the story as the one following Ai's footsteps, it's a really clever subversion of expectations to have them kind of swap around like that. It's also a cool parallel to Tokyo Blade, where Akane and Kana were each unintentionally paralleling the others' role as opposed to their own.

[kenjiyabuki]

so here are some thoughts about DMD Friendship the Reality while we are nearing the end

yeah yeah its not that deep but actually no one caring/talking about a show makes me want to write a LONG ASS POST bc i cant get gratification from going through the tags and reading opinions lmaoooooo so HERE damn okkk i will make the content i want to see in the world i guess dont mind me......😞

im not even the biggest Domundi fan but i was intrigued by the premise of this show. i mean it's a basically fake dating show (like one of their challenge rewards was getting to sleep in a suite together as if they are there to date for real) and the end prize isnt just an acting opportunity as it comes w the big decision of choosing a looooooong time acting partner. so i wanted to see how they would do it. BOC did a similar thing w The Hidden Character which i dropped halfway in bc it was too long and i found the challenges to be irrelevant to the ending goal. this show is the opposite of that and thats why ive been enjoying it.

it is edited to be concise (only 5 eps) and honestly, is quite tranquil. all the challenges were about things they will be required to do in the future as DMD actors/idols and stakes aren't even that high. You could always guess who would win before they even started (((like of course broody model guys won the photoshoot challenge and guy w two series under his belt won the acting one, DUH))) but it was still enjoyable to watch. show's goal isn't to generate tension and competitiveness. it is more of a workshop/chemistry building camp and also a way to introduce the new generation and get the fans warm up/attached to them.

as i spent time in bl fandom sphere, i've come to realize introducing a new gen is tricky. i thought everyone would be ecstatic to see new blood and a lil bit of mix and match but BL fans are reaaaaaaaaaaally attached to their faves and generally see newcomers as threats who will take opportunities from their already neglected (!) precious babies (e.g. just couple weeks ago FortPeat fans were protesting the new lesbian side couple in the upcoming show for stealing screen time from their faves, which is a joke in itself). this kind of show is genius way to get people to warm up to idea of new faces. at the end of the the day, these fans' weakness is two beautiful boys indulging in sweet moments they can be delulu over and considering how ships were already born from the first episode, DMD FTR succeeded in their goal.

LETS TALK ABOUT THE BOYS :-) *this starts playing*

I had to make this during first ep bc they are all dark haired boys w similar builds so I kept confusing them lmaoooooo (Tle not pictured as he joined later)

i will firstly talk about the fan favorite possible "couples";

KengNamping, the quiet visual couple and yes I love em!!!! they were kinda the only "conflict" in this very conflict free competition.

is Keng the CALMEST person I've ever seen? Latte is laid back too but Keng is just seems zen. sometimes (in the face of conflict) he just seemed hard to read but mostly he has such a calming presence. honestly, he should open an ASMR channel if this acting gig doesn't work out.

Namping also comes off very warm and graceful. him being "wow I'm finally in the winner suite" to Keng after finally getting chosen in ep4 made me laugh like DAMN he really was offended by what happened in ep1 and kept letting it slip. Idc, you are so right my prince and don't ever let Keng forget what he did to you...

when it comes to the possibility of them as a couple: i am kinda here for it while also not knowing if i actually believe in their "moments" in the show? Namping definitely set his sights on him from the beginning but Keng seemed nonchalant about it. Keng finally choosing Namping after his win, their sweet moment on the bed etc. seemed to me like classic reality show moment prompted by production to fit a certain narrative WHILE ThomasKong's pseudo-date-night chats seemed very real and spontaneous.

they do visually have chemistry, i'm not gonna act like i wasn't blushing when Keng trying to flirt during dinner or Namping softly touching a sleepy Keng's chin in the bed etc. Or even in ep2, when Namping tries to confront Keng about his pick but they are too timid and just unable to talk about it openly!!! arrghhh it's a hard to watch moment but still, made them more intriguing because they had such a tension between them. it would be a shame if it wasn't explored more. that tension can be channeled into an angsty series, just saying...

So, they def have a long way to go in their bond and arent comfortable like LatteFirst or ThomasKong but still, they are a strong contender and I would be glad to see them as a couple in a show. Namping already got my attention in the acting challenge and wonders can be achieved w a lil bit of workshop. they got the juice already!!!

Now, lets talk about ThomasKong.............

me watching Thomas relentlessly chatting Kong up since THE FIRST EPISODE

so I knew LatteFirst are set be a side couple in upcoming Love Upon a Time but i was confused to see why everyone on Twitter was already going cuckoo over these two random boys until i saw them interacting... Wow, like Thomas really came here w one mission: get Kong and leave.

because Thomas is such a flirt like DAMNNN😳😳😳😳he needs to be jailed for carrying lethal amounts of charm... IT MUST BE SAID: I love his fits w those thin glasses, he should've been wearing those in those office BLs he was in because he has been serving "office siren". Tiktok girlies eat your heart out.

while Kong isn't the best at acting or singing (he is the best KengNamping shipper tho and i LOVE a fudanshi BL actor), he definitely would win Mr. Congeniality if they were giving that title. he naturally and effortlessly has great on screen charisma. he is a certified cutie and the only one who can get real full belly laughs from Thomas!!!

i think what they managed in the acting challenge is the testament to their palpable chemistry. acting wise they weren't perfect (naturally, their uneven acting experience levels were apparent) but they were the only one who managed to tonal shift in their scenes. it's because they were the only ones who played into the romantic subtext of the scene. they also held eye contact for the longest (because they are comfortable w each other and not shy!!!), which elevated their chemistry and made me AND the judges giggle and roll our hair and kick our feet and shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

they are obviously the most likely to win the show and they deserve it too. no matter the result of the show, i want see them carrying a series as mains because they can and should. i also believe DMD won't fumble their bag, so i am not worried about it.

to conclude, I will quote Zee,

then we come to LatteFirst, the kinda established couple: in the ep5 preview, we see First trying to choose between Latte and the newcomer Tle, which seemed random to me and could be a production touch to create conflict in this very smooth sailing show.

i loved seeing Latte being nonchalant about the possibility of First choosing someone else, what a laid back guy. like Mio in THC, every BL reality show needs a half asleep and occasionally funny dude.

now i am thinking; what if First chose Tle, would he also replace Latte in LUAT bc DMD doesn't really fuck w mixing matching their couples. i honestly don't know where did all that come from but i feel like the result wont be too shocking, First and Latte are already really close and comfortable and got The Chemistry. need i remind of Latte punching the air a la Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club when it was announced they both chose each other for the dinner date? and their sweet and comfortable banter on that said date??? let's put our pens to work and write a friends to lovers rom-com for the boys based on that material please...

i dont think they are likely to win but might be strong contender. i just want to see them as a side couple in LUAT (hopefully this year!!!!) so they can develop themselves and their bond a little bit more before getting to a main couple level. their sweet friendship shouldn't go to waste!!! (is it obvious i am more drawn to BL couples who are besties in real life?)

damn this post is about to be a novella so i will make it short about Gems, TeeTee and Tle, i hope Gems won't be too upset about getting slighted again 😥 like i said, stakes aren't high on this show and results are always obvious: these guys are going back home empty handed, we all know it. they are all charismatic and VERYYY talented but i just felt like none of them really focused on "getting a partner" part of the show, not just the main challenges. even TeeTee who was picked by Thomas and Keng seemed kinda uninterested about partnering up. but you cant really force chemistry and i am sure they will get many more opportunities in the future. they already started their fanbase!!! i cant stand to see Gems so upset, i hope he wont be too sad.

these are my opinions. maybe the ending will do a whole 180 and idk, GemsKeng or TleKong or some other random couple will win, who knows???? cant wait to watch the new overly airbrush filtered, Cheewin directed DMD show up to like 5 episodes and then get bored and drop it and follow the rest from gifs!!! good luck to the boys <3

[realmsdelite]

independent & private rhaenyra targaryen from george r. r martin’s fire and blood. loved by kore ( she / they, 21+ ) book based and heavily influenced by my own headcanons. I also use my own research into medieval historical societal conventions to fill in the gap left in fire and blood relating. due to the nature of rhaenyra’s story, triggers will be present on this blog and it will be tagged accordingly. including but not limited to: depictions of heavy misogyny, body shaming, incest, grooming, violence, child loss, pregnancy loss, pregnancy trauma, and mentions of violence against children.

a study in: the deconstruction of a fantasy princess, grief, a journey in motherhood, the loss of innocence, heavy is the head, the price of duty, living through the twisting of your own narrative, and the continued struggle for assertion of one’s own authenticity and autonomy.

affiliates: @daekarys , @lcerys , @perzyr , @absolventiia , @loreforged .

exclusives: @sinfyre / @vulturepit ( + affiliates )

sides: @amongvipers , @aprincesstoo , @enchainedqueen , @swimwon

RULES BELOW:

muse ≠ character — my muse’s feelings on your character do not equal my own feelings, and I reserve the right to have my muse react however I deem is the most in line with how I believe she would react in that situation. and your muse is more then welcome to react in turn however you see fit. even if the outcome is antagonistic, I want the dynamics that I build on this blog to flow naturally, for better or for worse, whether that makes her a new friend, or a new enemy.

while I am very much open to shipping, it’s never really been a huge priority of mine. she is a demisexual and biromantic woman, and she is married in her main verse, and she’s been married by that point for years, whether it be to ser laenor velaryon or to prince daemon targaryen. while she did take a lover during her marriage to laenor, that was a risk that she only took because she trusted harwin strong. trust is big in shipping with her, and she needs to build that foundation of emotional intimacy and closeness before she begins to feel sexual attraction. there needs to be a friendship first, before there is romance. the majority of my shipping is going to take place in alternate universes, which I am more then willing to plot.

my activity level does not equal my interest level. I am neurodivergent and my activity level varies, and there are some days where I will write a lot, and others when I will not write anything and it never means I don’t want to interact, it just means that I’m finding it difficult to summon the spoons on that exact day. I do plan on getting to everything that I owe, I only ask that you please be patient with me. I do try to kickstart interactions by sending memes to new or old mutuals, and sending a quick im to let it be known I am very much in interested in plotting.I am on discord, but if that isn’t an option for you, or it isn’t something you are comfortable with I am more then willing to keep up a conversation on tumblr ims. you are never under any obligation to match lengths with me. I am fully understanding of the fact that I tend to write a lot, and it’s, just a thing that I need to do get the muse going, and it’s never something that I expect in turn.

if I follow you, and you’re not in my fandom, I want to write with you. different universes are my very favorite thing, and I will make a verse for you in your world so we can write there together or i can help you create one in asoiaf, or we can write in a whole other world together — as long as we’re both having fun and we create something beautiful together, it does not matter where we set it. I do have a general fantasy verse available that I need to write up, as well as a thg, iwtv, sw, xmen / mutant verse, asoiaf book, as well as no rebellion book au and a subsequent adaptable game of thrones show verse for my show only mutuals.

as for house of the dragon, I do not follow that canon in my main verse, but I do have a show verse that I have developed for show based mutuals, with the only difference that bears immediate noting being a decidedly smaller focus on the a song of ice and fire prophecy in rhaenyra’s narrative. it is a thing that exists in the back of her mind that serves as a point of hope, and resolution whenever she begins to feel as if she isn’t fit for the place she’s been given.

no racism, homophobia, zionism, transphobia, xenophobia or bigotry of any kind will be tolerated. if you whitewash your characters that are heavily alluded to / are outright confirmed to be characters of color you will be blocked. it costs nothing to be respectful to one another. it costs nothing to be kind to one another.

you have the right to curate your space in a manner in which you feel safe in, and as do I. if you feel the need to break mutuals with me for any reason, all I ask is that you hard block me instead, so I know that it isn’t tumblr’s doing and accidentally make things uncomfortable for the both of us.

[moony-dragoon]

today, at 9:47 AM, the patient Kamen Rider Ex-Aid was declared finished

.....in theory

I havent wastched the movie yet

i normally dont watch summer movies unless ...actually there is no real reason i just sometimes watch it

but ex-aid is the exception cause the thing is called "true ending" and it takes place after the "you didnt get all the collectables so heres a not really conclusive ending" that is ex-aids ending

so im gonna watch it probably tonight or tomorrow

im on the pc right now so im getting FANCY AND EXTRAVAGANT

BUT

i will give my thoughts on just the series itself here right now and later talk about the movie

and yall get ready im on a keyboard right now

so yeah ex-aid is absolutely great

buuuuuuuuut... i felt like it was missing something

what something?

wish i knew what something

i cant put my finger on what it is, but ex-aid was missing something that would be what brings it from good to great

so it is now No. 10 on my list, knocking out fourze sorry gen-chan

as much as it was missing something i still REALLY loved

in terms on riders that have a flowing narrative (which is rare) this is probably top 2, just behind build

...i would live to say i remember the details of the story but my brain is bad so i remember nothing

but i do know i liked

and its also really impressive cause the plot is pretty much ALWAYS moving

pretty much every episode there is something that either moves the narrative of shakes it up

again, gaim WISHES it had this level of things happening

NOW LETS TALK CHARACTERS

CAUSE I WILL SAY IT AGAIN

GOD I WISH DOCTORS WERE REAL

Ex-aid has some insane cast

its definetly on the top end of the ranking

i still believe it is legally impossible and morally wrong to not love Emu

look at him, he is just trying to give back peoples smiles, i love him

Hiiro did grow on me a lot more than i expected

i thought he would just be the serious and cold secondary

and he was

but we got SO MUCH GOOD MOMENTS FROM IT

as much as he was down to earth pretty much the whole series, we had enough of him NOT being so serious and got to see a lot of other sides to his character

THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE ANKH

taiga was also great

but i think he suffered from the "not getting as much light on it as he should have" syndrome that i thought it would apply to hiiro instead

but he was still great

plus the way his relationship with nico developed was phenomenal

like, she was a little runt by the start

but they went around fighting the whole kamen rider chronicles together by the end

nothing like the friendship of a grumpy doctor and his pro gamer

not gonna lie i felt kinda sad after Kiriya's death

...and then he came back and didnt get as much screentime as i wanted

i mean he as still present, he help every time he could

but he was the biggest "should have had more time in the spotlight" from the season for me

but i still liked him more than MOST forth riders

actually he might be my favorite?

ok i checked i think he is!

congrats i wish you would have your own side series

Dan Kuroto is a pathetic little guy and i love him

like

he has a 3% win rate

this guy gets kicked around for more than 2/3 of the series

although he DID help a lot by making all the gashats emu uses later

but he still refers to himself as god

only to get trapped inside a driver

he is so fucking pathetic is endearing

PARADO IS MY FAVORITE LITTLE GUY

LISTEN HE KILLED A COUPLE OF PEOPLE

BUT YOUR HONOUR

HE DIDNT KNOW BETTER

HE WAS JUST BEING A LITTLE GUY!

AND HE SAID HE IS SORRY

I love him, he is my favorite kinda psychotic character

but since he is only kinda psychotic i guess asakura still holds the spot as my favorite batshit insane psycho ever

i alerady talked about Nico

and yeah she is a little brat

but shes also a kid so it fits

andfinally poppy

thank you so much for being around

the show woldnt have been the same without you

also since i talked about poppy and parado

its weird how they just... came back

like it doesnt matter cause as i said, this is the "incomplete" ending

but idk it was still kinda weird

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that it?

i guess

bottom line loved

i will be back to talk about the movie soon enough

[minody]

ok no joking. 2hollis star is good. its very skrillex early 2010s edm coded like that epic mystic seven lions shit in form and reference and very hyperpop 2020s sonically and in instrumentation, even if the way its put together is still like in the aesthetic of those epic video game and anime ost drops. its very cinematic tho which is definitely fun and i kinda look forward to a short film i feel like that would be up his alley

and i really like the transitions from songs, bc im finally doing the right thing and listening to the project in order lol

wait i dont love cope lol. or you. fan of the beepy bits in you tho

oooohhh fan big fan of tell me. oh the production is insane. wow tell me might be my favorite here

destroy me good too. wait i just liked the build up. the rest is like its good but normal good

ohhhhhh i like burn. its kindaaaaaa charli xcx

i know dream rain sports didnt have lyrics but i really loved it. great energy

listening to ego. idk i kinda like the cringe, i like the dedication, i like the art

sidekick to eldest child gave me whiplash sorry. i feel like eldest child should have been a standalone single but also idrk if its like that good to be a standalone like it needs to be couched in the narrative arc of an album but. not this one. i think at least. again tho i like the cringe and the full pussy-ness of it, i really do respect it

its definitely. A transition to safe. i feel like we could have done like maybe literally anything else, or gone straight from sidekick to safe... sorry i just heard he said in an interview he really liked eldest child. i love that for him. not a fan of the song tho :/ safe has interesting production tho

well, i think the album is delightful and really conceptual in the way of the self appointed auteur. i liked it. feel like i didnt quite see the vision myself but i strongly feel that a vision was very present in the narrative and construction thumbs up