#im putting this all in the tags cuz its just a personal rant and i dont want anyone to take anything i said out of context

[btvs]

.

[aria0fgold]

Okay, wait, I'm gonna ramble bout some of my Unknowns cuz my brain needs a refresher and what better way to do that but talk bout my OCs! (That isn't Ray cuz he's in timeout for making me read through an article that gave me confusion damage).

Right I was supposed to talk bout Memoria a bit more and so I finally shall. The other way to write their name is actually like this Memo/ria, cuz well... there's two of em. 2 people in 1 body, a 2 in 1 if you will. And they're aware of that! Which why they decided to share the Memoria name, one is called Memo while the other is Ria.

Okay, so like, I have a proper and more organized info bout their story but it's in my phone (that's still broken aha so I can't get it). I'm gonna give the summary of what I can remember from that.

Memo/ria's physical appearance is that of a 11 year old child with wings too big for their small body but they can change the length luckily! It mostly appears like a long cape, the feathers are different colours arranged in a way that shows an image much like stained glass art. The image changes rather frequently with the wings sometimes getting longer.

That's because of their power. Memo/ria's power involves the memory and an indestructible shield. For the memory portion, they can take or copy a person's memory and turn it into a feather to add on their wings. For the shield part, they can create a barrier that cannot be easily broken.

That's the gist of their powers! But wait... There's more! The specifics! Right after being turned into an Unknown, they escaped the lab and saw an abandoned church at a mountain and decided to make that their home due to some distant nostalgia (they used to go to church with their parents back then). It's also where their powers fully developed.

Basically, there's 3 versions of em but none of those versions knows bout the others so they don't know that there's 3 of em. A traveler found out bout it and decided to give titles to each one!

Remembrance, Exuberance, and Perdition. Each one are different in the way they act, where they're located and how they use their powers.

Memo/ria of Remembrance can be found at the 2nd floor of the church, they're cautious and skittish like a deer who quickly runs from a slight noise. They're docile and hard to befriend. Despite that though the memories they like to copy are happy moments, making their feather colours bright and warm.

Memo/ria of Exuberance can be found at the ground floor, they're cheerful and friendly, often the first one anyone passing by the church can see. The memories they like to copy are sad or melancholic moments, they'll even take those memories if the other person asks them to. It makes their feather colours dull and cold but they cherish and care for it greatly.

Memo/ria of Perdition can be found behind the church, at the graveyard. You do not want to meet them. They're the deadly one, those who meets them often goes missing. Although they are "safe" to be around with at the graveyard, as long as you're there to pay respects to those buried. They can't be "befriended" (very very picky) but they can tolerate you long enough to not want you sealed away. That's how they use their powers, it isn't memories they're taking, but the people. They seal away people on their feathers making it a mixture of warm and cold colours.

Also forgot to mention, in terms of strength, Unknowns are considered as strong or stronger than Celestials. So yeah, these guys are strong and can't easily be killed (For Memo/ria, if you try to kill any of the 3, they'll come back alive again with Perdition angrier than before). The only way to truly kill an Unknown is by their weakness.

[final-boy]

Okay sorry being insane about this again cuz im stuck on the angsty portion of it cuz i think its the most interesting part but Reader desperately trying to get Danny to remember their past hiwever they can, trying ro get him to understand that they know one another and that they care for eachother,,but those memories are just so tucked away right now thay it feels impossible to ever get them back,,,

Reader slowly coming to the realization that they too are starting to forget the finer details of everything and the few things that clear/semi-clear is just the knowledge of the killings that happenes back in their hometown and the fear of it all,,,they reach a point where they cant quite remember what Danny looked like, much less what he sounds like without the voice modulator...

Omg okay bear with me for a second but Ghostface x Reader where they were together pre-Entity with Reader being brought into the realm much later than Danny was for whatever reason,, they assume Danny had just up and left without them and during their first trial, they realize THIS is where Dannys been the whole time and rush off to find him

Angsty Bonus Points edition if when they DO finally find Ghostface , he doesn't remember them,,not because he didnt care to/Reader wasnt important but because the Entity wiped those memories away so to him, Readers just another survivor to gut 😛

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: Swearing, ranting from reader

The noise from the water park was getting unbearable, even with the door to Owen's office closed. I dug my headphones out of my bag and plugged them in but even the music blasting from the laptop couldn't drown anything out. Groaning, I put my head on the desk. The little clock at the bottom of the exam kept ticking away, reminding me that I was taking an insane amount of time to complete it. There was a knock on the door before it opened. I pulled out my headphones as the person walked in.

"Whoa. Hey." Owen said. "No dying on the clock." I lifted my head and glared at him, propping my chin on the desk. "Oh. Its that bad then?" I nodded and he walked over to see the exam I was taking. "Yeah. No. Can't help with that. Like at all."

"That's ok." I said with a sigh, running my hands down my face. "Neither can I. I don't know what I need this for. It isn't even part of my actual degree or anything. I mean it is but not what I want to use the damn degree for." I leaned back in the chair and let it hit Owen in the stomach.

"Ow." he said, but not moving away. "How much more you have to go with this?"

"Like the exam or the class?" I asked, looking back at him. "Because both feel like forever."

"The exam." He said, leaning down as he righted the chair. Owen put his hand on the table next to the laptop and leaned closer. "Ok. Four more questions you can do this."

"No. I can't." I moaned, letting my head fall back against his arm that was braced against my chair. "It took me 40 minutes to get here! That's three questions Owen. Three fucking questions I'm not even sure are filled out correctly!" Owen put his hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed it.

"Have you talked to the teacher? Maybe get some extra help or something?" He said, eyes roaming over the computer screen still.

"Ha!" I laughed. Owen looked at me. "The teacher is shit. Talks at us instead of to us. Grades and corrects us but half the shit that we get wrong wasn't even fucking covered in the lessons. At all. And when she does answer our questions, it always goes back to check the lesson. Well I'm sorry but the crap you added to correct whatever it was I put down wasn't even there! Maybe don't dock points for shit you didn't even cover!" Owen squeezed my shoulder. "And then...and then...she expects you to remember all this crap so it isn't even written down anywhere except in the lessons cuz she's too lazy to compile it all and the students are too brain dead to do it themselves! So you have to spend twenty minutes to find the shit you need only to see it was the wrong shit to begin with!" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I feel like I’m failing no matter what I do.”

“so why don’t you cheat?” Owen asked with a shrug. I gave him a look.

“I did. Copied and pasted from somewhere else. And she marked it wrong! Like she graded it to her standards and it was wrong!” Owen chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me. A kiss was pressed to my temple. “Owen I just can’t take this anymore. It’s driving me up a wall.”

“does how long you take on this matter?” He asked after a minute. I shook my head. “Come on. We’re going for a ride.” He pulled me up and started to drag me out of the office.

“Owen I’m not in the mood.” I groaned. He laughed and shook his head.

“not that kind of ride.” He said, smiling at me. “But I’m not opposed to one later.” I rolled my eyes. “No im talking about driving down the highway as fast as we can without getting caught. Top down. Radio blasting. Come on. You’ll love it.”

“alright. Alright.” I agreed as Owen grabbed his keys. “I do need to finish that exam eventually though.” Owen nodded before opening the car door for me. When he had gotten in, the car reved to life. He peeled out of the parking lot and headed out to the highway.

“so how much longer do you have this class?” He asked, glancing over at me. “Am I going to have to stay out of my office for months on end now?”

“no. Just today.” I sighed. “Just because of the exam. I didn’t have enough time to do that at home and it’s due by the end of the night. Thanks for that by the way. Not sure if I said it.” Owen nodded, reaching over to hold my hand.

“anytime. Just let me know when you need it.” He said, pulling my hand up to kiss it. “And I want you to know that anytime you need to vent again, well I’m here.” I nodded.

“thanks Owen.” I said softly. He nodded before gunning it down the highway, a smile on both our faces.

[jerrsterrr]

guys guys the afternothing guys the after notjing guys guys look you guys

wip (fanboying below)

OMGS okay this THE ocs/persona ever OKAY

Its been so long since ive started drawing this FREAK ASS storyline and on like a random tuesday it dropped back into my lap AND im always thinking abt it ALWAYS thinking abt lore im a nerd)) BUT IM DRAWING THEM AGAIN YIPPIEEEEEEE

its so insanely cringe talking about these 3 guys lore cuz they are like,,, the same guy,,,, which happens to be ME LMAO

ANd then im reminded that this entire story is like Life and Death and Heaven and infinite realities and found family and open ended ending because there is nothing that deems these guys will ever find peace,, which all comes from this dream i had in 2019 LOL

Im very slowly putting out the story on my toyhouse and its very fun but id much prefer lik talking about it or just jumbling it all out irl and just ranting out the storyline through words (BUT ITS SO EMBARRISINGBHIDRGFY) and yet at the same time i crave to just have it ALL ORGANIZEDDDDD and out of my brain!!!! rAHHH

man i draw these guys a LOT though the story is not just like about these three, i reallly like getting into all the backgrounds and hinting at like lore and stuff (MORE LIKE TRAUMA LOL) Like what makes these characters work and such,

Whenever i do think of like the rest of the story and how id actually express the stpryline, and the whole plot of The After Nothing its more or less from outsiders (the other ocs) finding out about everything, "who is this guy and how did he get to the After?" "How are you alive but souless??" "Ew oh my god is the DRAGON YOUR SOUL???" "What do you MEAN youve died and every peice of soul is going to you because youve LOST YOUR OWN REALITY????" "YOURE BEING CHASED??????" and all of that info being forced out of some guy who just does not know how to comprehend being a person (because he isnt exactly one)

i have a few comics in mind!!! (shitty sketchbook example above) so as soon as i reintroduce like the main characters to my insta (through the wip in this post) Ill definetely get a move on to some silly interactions, before they meet the whole main plot and other characters!!!!!

so yippieee!!!! major coping being done through my creative process and my enjoyement of alternate realities, vessels, Life and Death, Heaven and Hell, and exploring what exactly makes a person act the way they do!!!!!!!!!!!

SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

(@moenmomentsthemoe-en tag cuz this counts as oc loredumping?? i thinks UH OKAY RUNS)

[youredreamingofroo]

Ya'll... I think I might start a new story, I have a... basic concept of what I want it to be like, and I already have a name (under the impression that I don't suddenly do a 180), I just need to do like... all the writing and make the characters LMFAO It's gonna be a little on the dreary side and dark (which is the kind of writing/genre i aspire to write about, also means I'm gonna have to redo my personal reshade that ive been cooking for like... 3 or 4 months... 😭)-

in the meantime, I might start working on gussying up my navi post (and by gussy up, i mean completely redo) because as nice as it is, it's, idk, a little outdated (i guess), I have an idea for a new theme except i'm either going to a) put it in the drafts and wait til I start the new story to post it so the info is all there or b) make it and then post it and when i start the new story, edit it and put the tags and stuff in for the story.

ALSO might do a name change cuz... this name came from WAYYY before i joined simblr, and its got a charm to it, but i dont rlly like it anymore,, it just dont sit with me the same way that it used to lmao

*(writing this after i posted cuz i forgot to say this - its under the cut and in regards to NSB with the new story - it also kinda turned into a rant lmfao) TL:DR for ppl who don't wanna read my stupid fucking rant: NSB is prob gonna go on a hiatus regardless of if i start a new story, cuz as much as I love it, it's started to feel like a chore and less of smth i enjoy (even tho, like I said, I rlly enjoy/love it) Sorry to my NSB enjoyers out there.

regarding NSB, yes it will probably go on hiatus when making this story bec writing is already kinda exhausting for me as well as editing and NSB has progressively became more and more story-driven than gameplay-driven, and especially after these three days, im kinda burnt out from NSB, i know i just left it off on a cliffhanger with the new baby, but to be honest, I don't wanna deal with another child, i barely get by dealing with the four, and dealing with toddlers> are so fucking annoying cuz of the Sim AI, which in and of itself is just demotivating, i do REALLY love not so berry, i love the story ive created with it, but i guess im just tired of playing the same generation for so long, not to mention the fact that i made it a rags to riches challenge, i know i didnt have to but i prefer to, and bc of that, i havent been able to properly decorate, and i dont really wanna go back on myself, if i decide to continue NSB, i will probably take the RTR rules away since its so annoying to deal with having like, 1000 simoleans all the damn time. Also, i've been planning what to do for generation 3 since catty gave birth, but i had to put NSB on a hiatus bc of a stupid glitch and was only recently able to start it up again, and I still havent moved onto the next gen. I kinda lost the plot with that rant, but basically, NSB will probably go on hiatus, regardless of the new story, I've been wanting to dwell more on Roo and his whole story and the people in his universe and after a bit, NSB has started to, as much as I love it and the storytelling and whatever, feel like a chore, which kinda hurts to say, but its true. Sorry to any of my not so berry enjoyers out there

[doodlemunster]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

I'm SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG

and thank you to @yesitsloulou because I saw you sent me this too and y'all are so so sweet for it. Seriously. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO FREAKING MUCH

Top 5 things that make me happy, let's goooo (strap in this is a long one)

Friends & Family

I'm putting them together cuz technically friends ARE family to me. More and more do I realize just how stinkin important they are and how much they make my day/month/year.

My friends sending me tiktoks/memes they think I'll love or remind them of me, who love me for me and I can be my goofy self with them

my parents being endlessly supportive and hear me out, who sometimes pick me up coffee or snacks simply because they are thinking of me. My mom, who used to take my brother and I to anime cons and would patiently listen to us rant about our latest obsession and STILL does it till this day even though she has no interest in any of it because she loves us that much. Or my dad who will be a big ol' goof and won't stop till he's cracked a smile out of me.

2. Mutuals

I would put mutuals in the friends and family category, but y'all deserve your own spot because otherwise I'd go on forever lmao (also I see mutuals as friends but I know some people might find that TOO familiar and I'm not trying to weird ya out or nothin)

mutuals who leave tags on reblogs, letting me know their thoughts or little comments to me. Or the reblogs on my art and letting me know if you love it or not?? like 'IM OVER THE MOON'. Know that I'm squeeing and kickin my feet and twirling my hair. All of it. Also, seeing how excited y'all are about a certain show, books, fandom etc Even those posts that are like 'reblog if you would gently headbutt with the person you reblogged this from if y'all were cats'. I love that. I mean it when I say that all of this makes my entiiirrree day. I love it and I love y'all!!

3. My Pets

Seeing their cute little faces gets me through so much. They let me hug and kiss them a whole bunch and it fills me with so much seratonin, holy hell. They have helped me on lonely nights, being little supportive spirits when I'm in my head too much or going through a bad break up. If y'all want some cuteness too, heres a pic of the two of them. I lost my sweet Gir last year and it still gets to me. It's also the anniversary of her passing, but she was an amazing dog.

4. CBD gummies

okay so this is left field and sounds goofy, but I struggle with sleep pretty badly. I'm a night owl through and through, so it makes settling down super hard. My brain just won't shut the fuck up. It's caused my anxiety to spike enough to get medicated for it. However, with these gummies I can FINALLY bank on a good night's sleep and for that I am forever thankful. It also makes me feel so damn good too, so it even calms my anxious nerves. It's made me happy to tears, let me tell ya.

5. Baking

Been finding a lot of happiness in trying new recipes. Some of my favorite nights are getting tipsy/high, baking, and watching horror movies. I've mad pie dough, mini pumpkin pies, brownies, no bakes, caramels, truffles, muffins and god its been such a TREAT. I made my friends and family baked goods and it filled me with so much joy.

Thank you so so much for the sweet ask!! <3 I'm so happy to have y'all as mutuals. Seriously, you make the weeks that much sweeter. I hope you are doing great. Sending you lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️

[twinaurora]

1:56 AM

(I started writing this at the above time, this is future me at 3:30 putting a break so that it does not flood your timeline :3)

Damn, I am a creative person lol I like to write! I like to fucking sing and shit! And sometimes i do lil doodles and shit You don't have to do something crazy to call yourself creative :3 Just make something! Sometimes I think my shit is shitty But sometimes you gotta take a step back and just look at what you did And its like "Wow, I made that" It's crazy :) OH FUCK MUSIC TOO!! Man I love music, I love listening to shit, its fun Oooh, I should start tagging stuff lol, like what if someone else want to reblog something [looks off in distance, sitting at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean glimmer, sunset setting the sky a beautiful orange hue, reflected too upon the sea] Lol what if Mallek wants to fucking rant about dumb shit on my blog :O Whoa, what would Mercer look at (⊙_⊙)？ Or maybe a fucking sideblog, i've talked about that before ( *︾▽︾) Oughhh, im listening to Swank (off of brb) and there was this really soft synth in the background, that was really nice (I checked, it starts at 1:33) The Lavender Promenade? The Violet Fugue? I'll think of some more later, but i like the second one so far Ahh~, piroulines, the greatest snack ever made.... Man, sometimes it's hard to say stuff. I'll see people talking, but their in the middle of an already going convo, and its like, " Damn, maybe ill just wait a sec" and then u never do. Sometimes you respond to it verbally, but just don't message. Sometimes I just can't get the right expression through text (They might as well be dead (ROR2)) Im gonna put the music i'm listening as i write this down Aww man, we're all just a bunch of goobers ain't we. Some goofy fuckin goobers..... I'll look at Mallek, and sometimes I think that's the guy i couldn't be and then I'll look at Chixie, and that's the girl i don't know if i can be and the other two are something different (The King of Onsen (Rivals of Aether)) It's like, they both deal with people, in their own ways obviously (Take my breath (The Weeknd)) Marvus is very showy, as is for him, but damn can he talk to someone, and y'know, sometimes i can too. But he's good at it, and he's good at helping people And Mercer isn't! haha lol He's more worried about us, so obviously, more reserved But he could do the same i believe. Rougher maybe, more annoyed, but will get us away. I guess think of it like a bomb, Marvus would de-arm it, like talking down someone, while Mercer would run, cuz it doesn't know how to fucking defuse a bomb Oh man, funny analogy time I guess it's like... me mal and chix are like the lil sibling playing a game right, and ur on a hard level So you get ur big sib, in this case Mar and Mer, to help you beat the stage :) (I took another hit of cart, its 2:39 at this part of my writing)

[himbos-hotline]

hey! while it’s disheartening and sucks to get hate comments, you should try to remember that the fics you write should be purely for your enjoyment. it’s stuff you like and want to share with the world, and some people find it and end up liking it a lot! you’d be surprised how many people probably read your fics and love it but don’t say anything bc they’re shy. unfortunately, there are a lot of hateful people on the internet and they will do anything to try and bring you down. you should try your best to ignore it (i know you probably don’t wanna hear this but it’s true). another way to get rid of hate is turn off anon on tumblr, if anyone sends you hate after then you can block them. you can also restrict comments on ao3. if you ever get a hate comment on ao3, you can also block or remove (i think) the comment. trust me, there are a lot of people who LOVE your work. just continue doing what you love. if you have haters, they’re most likely just jealous or miserable people. sorry for the long note, hope your day is good!

anon this is gonna sound really mean and I am PROMISING that it isnt, but I kinda just, need to reply to little bits of this message like were having a convo and im not arguing, im just..tired of being told the same thing [again not mad, clarifying stuff]

you should try to remember that the fics you write should be purely for your enjoyment

yes I know that, so is people baking or drawing. but if someone gets told "this cake kinda sucks." or "your drawing is wrong." they seem to be allowed to get upset but with writing its just "well youre writing for yourself!" Yeah, I know that and I am. But if I was writing for myself, I wouldnt be sharing it. People wouldnt be requesting it. if it was just for me. I wouldnt have an ao3 account. im writing for ME but im posting and sharing for other people, the people who ask for said fics, people who are my friends, people who like the ships, the fandom cuz fandoms simply do not exist without fanworks, not creations. were not getting paid for this. AT ALL! Like you cant do fic commissions cuz youre just sitting fanfic and fandom culture back YEARS AND YEAR.

I am writing for me, why do writers always get that? why is it never "but youre editing for yourself" or "youre making gifs for yourself" or "well you are drawing for you."

and end up liking it a lot! you’d be surprised how many people probably read your fics and love it but don’t say anything bc they’re shy.

Please get over that shyness. Thats what anons are for, thats for like guest comments are for on ao3. thats what reblogs and nice tags are for. thats for recommending fics on PUBLIC spaces, not discord servers youve made privately. Please tell fanfic authors that you like their fics, please leave comments and draw fanart or whatever you want to do just share it with us! because otherwise writers are going to feel unloved and lost and NOT write anymore and then fandom spaces will, im sorry die cuz the whole point of fandom is we inspire each other, we lift each other up!

im sorry for ranting back at you anon, this ask was really sweet but there was just points that I had to put out, things I had to say because it gets kinda draining being treated differently as a writer than say an artist. Its just like if I drew, like really instead of once or twice a year. People wouldnt be going "youre drawing for yourself." also just the weird diconnect between like, people who write and other people who are making things in fandoms is upsetting because it takes so much work, so much dedication.

like sometimes it feels like people forget that me personally, am disabled and chronically ill. Im currently fighting off pheumonia, ive just gotten out of a very abusive and manipulative relationship where him not liking my writing was a big way he would control what I would do. writing is harder than what it should be right now. But I do love writing, I adore getting requests and every nice comment I get I reguarly go back to read and it means so so so much

[hickeysgodcomplex]

I am... gonna rant. Cuz I've been feeling... some type of way.

That way is very very very pissed off, by the way, just to set the mood for what's under that readmore. 😤😤😤

Okay so.... ive been posting more writing on my writing blog. And its been nice. People have been nice.

But here's the thing. And yes this is about the like/reblog ratio again. Because its been upsetting me. And yes im also on my period so im even more emotionally wacky but i have to get this out.

I made a small, teeny tiny vent post, that was incredibly sarcastic and bitchy and very clearly just me venting my own shit. I even explained in the tags that i was feeling really disheartened by it all and just needed to let out my feelings. And then i got this response:

And i GET it. People like things for reasons and blah blah blah BUT . I didnt know this person, nor did they know me. And they talked to me like i didnt fucking know how this goddamn website works, like i don't goddamn live here. It is not the same as any of that. "Its not that deep" I dont KNOW you!!! And you dont know ME! maybe it is! Maybe it IS that deep to me. I was obviously feeling upset enough to make a ranty post???

And they talked about not wanting things on their blog but they reblogged my personal bitchy post with a comment.... like... that could have been a reply!!! Or even better.... dont say fucking anything. It wasnt even a fandom blog. I dont know how they found the post, i didnt even tag it. I assume they follow someone who reblogged it, but i dont think it had that many reblogs. NOT THE POINT!

The point is, mainly, that... its nice getting attention for writing. Or any art you put out onto this little website, but like... my writing blog, which I've had for YEARS just NOW hit 10,000 likes like a couple days ago. And im not trying to sound ungrateful. Because likes are nice. They really are. I like posts all the time.

But the fact that i wrote a 12,000 word fic the other day, posted it, and it has 15 fucking notes, total. 2 of which are mine, because i reblogged it on my main blog. 5 total reblogs. And only one of those has tags. I understand that not everyone uses tags, thats chill.

BUT!!!! The fic was even NSFW and i dont write that super often, but its what i see most, its a popular genre, and the fic STILL only has 15 notes.

And it just... feels like I'm doing something wrong? Like, no matter what kind of fic i post, if it not just a tiny text post it feels like no one interacts or cares at all. And it just... fucking ... it's disheartening and exhausting and it fucking hurts.

Like why do i even fucking write anything? Or post anything? If no one gives a shit? Like, people dont get it, i know artists and gif makers, and literally anyone putting out content gets it. Because we put in hard fucking work and then get nothing back???

Like i have this amazing fic idea about plus size reader x eddie munson and i KNOW its gonna be fucking cute. Its eating away at my brain its so cute. But like.... .... i don't even want to write it now. Because no one will care. No one will interact with it.

It just sucks. I wanna write stuff and share stuff and know that people like it too. But like, if people only interact with posts that are like a paragraph long why the fuck should i even keep writing and posting stuff?

And i know im not the only one who feels this way. And it sucks. But to be complaining about it in my own space and have someone fucking come onto my post and tell me "it's not that deep".... like honestly, fuck you.

ESPECIALLY since i didn't know them??? And they didn't know me. And then came and talked down to me like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how this website works.

This is a sharing website. Its based on shares and sharing and thats how things get more views, and get more people into things, and the sharing and nice comments from others is what sparks more creativity and sparks more art and writing and gifsets and content.

And i don't know where im going with this, i don't really have an aim here i just needed to fucking rant. Because i got pissed off about it again and needed to let it out. But its goddamn exhausting when i put my heart and feelings and shit into my writing and then just... no one cares or interact or whatever and just uugghhh

IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL GROSS AND UPSET AND I JUST WANNA ENJOY WRITING!!!!

[azoraahai]

hi hello, it’s your fav chaotic disaster here! since it is nearing the end of the decade/2019 here ( i know some of y’all are already enjoying the new year bc timezones lol ) but i just wanted to take the time and mention a few peeps that really kept me grounded this year. this is not a follow forever bc im lazy as fuck so pls enjoy this mess of me rambling lol!

even if you aren’t tagged, there are special mentions for each group im under so please read if you have the time! please note that each and every single one of you has made 2019 so much better cuz we all know it was hella rough so im very thankful for all of you!

this is hella long so everything will be under the cut :)

oc mutuals ⤵

my one and only :: @daisyjohvson my ride or die, my best friend, my beautiful sister, my other half. there are no words that could articulate how much you mean to me. you are my person and nothing could ever change that. i know we both have been busy this year, but im so glad we always do our best to chat no matter what time it is for us. you are my everything and i adore and love you so fucking much. i hope 2020 will finally be the year we meet after being friends for almost five years. i wish you the best of luck for the start of a new decade babe xx.

satanic bitches 2/3 :: @freakingbradleys @fleetwoodmcs god, it still blows my mind that my two idols talk to me on a daily. amanda, kayla, you guys have brought such a new perspective into my life and i cannot thank either of you enough for it. you guys are so encouraging, thoughtful, amazing, and supportive. i know i can tell you guys anything and you would be super honest with me and i cannot explain how much i appreciate that. thank you both for enduring the mess of 2019 with me.

my chaotic twin :: @emiliachrstine emilia, my love, it has been a pleasure talking with you via tumblr and snapchat facetime. you have brought so much laughter in my day while i was at college and i am 100% sincere when i say i needed those talks sO MUCH! you know some of the challenges i was facing so i just wanted to say thank you for being so fun to talk to and always listening to my endless ranting ( especially the cLASS SIX FELONY bit ). im so thankful we got closer this year and i love you so so so so soooo much bb!

the enabler buddy :: @moirei first of all, i cant believe how much we’ve been talking recently! i’ve always wanted to talk to you more and im highkey upset that it took me this long to reach out to you again, but anyways, as john mulaney would say, tHe PaSt Is ThE pAsT. thank you for letting me ask you sooooo many questions about sw, enabling me with all of these spur of the moment ideas, and for being such a wonderful friend! you are so kind, encouraging, and helpful! thank you so much for everything bb!

long lost sister :: @nellie--crain rachel, honey, you are a light in my life. anytime you message me, i already feel 100000x happier. you are like an older sister to me and i love you to the moon and back! i love all of your ocs and our xovers so much ( especially robeck bc otp ) and i hope we come up with more stuff in the near future! i hope 2020 graces you with so much happiness and joy, my love!!

some of my ride or dies :: @chlobenet @peterparcour @hopemikaelsvns @thetenthdoctorscompanion @drewtanner @princes-jasmine @aaudace @killinbills thank you all for being so amazing, talented, and wonderful! you all have played a significant part in my 2019 and i hope you all know that!! y’all are so awesome seriously xx

the rest of my oc mutuals :: thank you guys for sticking around as my hyperfixations constantly change once i find a new thing lol. i hope to chat with you all some more in 2020 and the years to come! please remember that each and every one of you is talented, creative, and beautiful! i wish you all the best of luck for this upcoming year and know that i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

giffing mutuals ⤵

the other half braincell :: @yelenabelovaa fleur, my darling, what an honor it is to be your wife! we got so close sO FAST and i cant imagine my life without you. you’re the jake to my tom, and if that doesn’t explain how chaotic we are then idk what does. thank you for being there right away when my dog died unexpectedly like i cannot tell you how much i appreciated you on the phone with me until someone irl was there to help me. thank you for always being so selfless, kind, and an incredible friend. i love you so much and let’s hope we get to meet in 2020!!!

goddess of parallels :: @andthwip the fact that you follow me is still absolutely mind blowing! also the fact that you tag me in your gifs is eVEN MORE mind blowing! i’ve admired your work for quite a while and let me just say, your ideas are unmatched!! you have such an eye for detail like no one can do what you do!! thank you so much for being a great mutual and i hope 2020 will be a wonderful start of the decade for you xx

the clown :: @robertpattisons okay dont hate me for putting the clown lol its just your icon and i had to im sorry lmao!! anyways, laiba, hi bb! you are such a talented gif maker and im so glad we became mutuals this year! thank you for being so nice, helpful, and a great friend!! i love you lots and have a great 2020!!!!

chaotic duo :: @colins-farrells sakshi, darling, idk if i ever mentioned this to you but you made me feel so comfortable with my blog. i looked up to you and your amazing chaotic posts and i just wanted to thank you for that! you truly are amazing and ily bunches xx i hope 2020 will be epic for you!!

some of my amazing giffing mutuals :: @lzzieolsn @luke-skywalker @ageofultron @brolinjosh @rosiebetzler @bitony you all are so fucking talented like seriously!!!! thank you all for following my trash can of a blog bc i have admired ALL of you from afar and im still in shock about it!! i hope 2020 blesses you all with happiness, success, and joy!!! i love and adore each and every one of you!!!

the rest of my giffing mutuals :: thank you all for being so fucking nice to me! i only began giffing regularly at the beginning of this year and i made SO many wonderful mutuals ( aka you guys ) because of it! you all have been so helpful and supportive of me and i am so fucking grateful for that!!! 2020 is a new year and the start of a new decade for us!! i wish all of you can enjoy this new beginning!!!

to all of my followers ⤵

hi hello! if you got this far down, congrats!!! i just wanted to say i fucking love you guys so damn much!! no matter what im doing, my current hyperfixation, the ENDLESS amount of shitposting, y’all willingly stick with me and i seriously can’t thank you enough! i know i say that so much, but it’s honestly 100% true! i’ve reached INCREDIBLE milestones because of all of you!! so seriously, thank you! 2020 is a fresh start so let’s make this year fucking amazing!!!

[bikerboyfriend]

saw u reblog the post abt being intelligent nd creative and you agreed with my tags nd i just wanna say that i think youre really cool! you have a really unique perspective and youre really funny i love reading the tags u put cuz it makes me see a post in a different way!! and i listen to your playlists and i know i never heard any music u actually played but you def have an ear for music and it shows bc u seem to find similarities and links where ppl dont usually find them and its really cool

also sorry if this was weird lmao 🗿🗿 i just think ur cool

its not weird at all 🥺 omg thank u for thinking so i really appreciate tht, its really sweet !! I also think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself all the time! i really like interacting and hearing your thoughts on things, whether it’s long posts or just rants in the tags. i think you’d be a really interesting and fun person 2 be around, so im glad im mutuals with u 💀 im not very good w putting my thoughts into words but yeah you’re great 😳💕

[descendantofthesparrow]

my version of the d3 timeline

okay so with d3 being out, im going to say something

I thought the timeline would be different.

so here's mine

starts off with good to be bad, obvi

then the choosing of the kids

engagement 

vks go get the kids

they pick up the four, but instead of the isle crowd being exited, they’re mad, they want to go to auradon too!!! they shouldn't have to wait around till another vk day (this is back when we all thought isle people would only be chosen annually) so the car speeds out of there, and the now just rejected crowd stands behind the car as it exits

hades.

queen of mean

Audrey grabs the scepter, a plan in mind, but because she is not maleficents blood, she falls into a deep sleep, and in a final bit of magic, makes the scepter and crown disappear from her grasp, and she teleports herself to her bed, making it seem like someone else spelled her

now its the mal ben talk, beast suggests closing the barrier for good, both mal and ben are against it, more ben than mal, but mal soon agrees, bens disappointed, but “understands” then he gets his phone call about the crown and scepter being stolen.

beast suggests uma, mal agrees, Ben = uma protection squad

mal tells evie, the exact same scene happens except with more, “kids who want to go back and see their bothers and sisters, or their parents, we’re just going to take that away from them?!”

mal asks evie “E, since when was any parent good on the isle”

“smee” “that's tight, he never did anything but he certainly never stopped anything” “dr facilier” “he was crap to Freddie, he really only likes Celia” “lefou” “again, never really did anything, but never stopped anything”

evie just sits there, trying to come up with an argument, “what about food, if no one goes in or out, what about the barges?” “the goblins grab that remember, no one actually goes in or out, they just reach across the barrier” evie just looks devastated, while there are a lot of bad parents on the isle, some of them are a lot better than others, like Anastasia, dizzy had said multiple times that she wanted to go back to see her auntie, the one who raised her. then the scene goes on like normal.

then the getting ready for janes party scene.

that's when mal gets a call from ben

“Audreys been spelled, her grandmas been trying to wake her up to no avail.”

mal rushes to head over to the dorms, she gets there, seeing Audrey motionless on her bed.

then either she or FG runs a diagnostics on Audrey, revealing that this was a curse of the scepter.

“the only thing more powerful than the scepter is Hades ember”

mal heads back to Evie's house, telling them all about what was going down, and they needed to go back to the isle for hades ember. mal is about to head inside to get changed when magic strikes her, spelling her into an old hag.

the scene goes on like the movie, but instead of Audrey being there, they think its uma behind all of this. 

cut to Audrey, Audrey is awake, and she has the scepter and crown, she releases her sleeping spell at janes party, jane goes underwater, she calls Ben, telling him about Audrey. 

ben tries to call mal, but she's on the isle, no cell phone service.

mal and gang head to the isle to grab the ember, Celia tagging along, they go to the arcade to get key, the tv plays the same scene, they still think its uma behind it all, then the same pirate stealing bikes scene.

mal tries to get the ember, but hades catches her doing so, and FYI, hades is NOT mals dad in this version, he asks what she wants, she says she needs it to break a spell, one song later (a hard rock version of do what you gotta do, with no daddy issues shit) hades only agrees to give it to mal IF, his son hadie comes off the isle next. mal “I can't do that” “well then~, I guess no ember for you” procedes to walk away, mal breaks, agreeing to his plan.

mal now has ember, but hades warns her only gods/demigods can use the ember, and she would need either him or another god to use it for her

“ill take my chances” “if it gets wet its game over”

cut to ben and Audrey scene. Audrey curses ben to beast mode. but does not turn FG into stone yet. 

the core four + Celia exit the isle, mal goes though her little blue up, but Celia bumps her arm, causing the ember to go flying through the air, right into umas grasp.

in the background, harry and gil are rejoicing.

“it can't get wet! give it back before it goes out!!”

“why? you won't be able to use it, either way, ~ only a god or demi-god can use it...and oh~ your not one, but...I am~”

mal is stubborn not wanting to team up with uma, evie rationalizes with her, “M shes right, we need a god to use the ember, and we have one right in front of us”

“but shes the one who cast the curse in the first place remember?” “mal shes offering an out right now, if we just go along with it she might back off”

“uggg.....fine”

uma cackles, but says one more thing “if you want my help....open the barrier for harry and gil”

jay growls but opens the barrier anyway, the boys don't even wait before jumping though.

uma cackles, releasing her transformation, mal yelps out a no, the ember was gonna get wet. 

uma reappears on the bridge, harry nearly tackles her, but he remains mostly calm, gil is just like a retriever tho.

the scene continues on like in the movie, with some exceptions.

“uma give me the ember, I need that to break a spell”

Carlos: “yeah one cast by you” 

confused uma is confused “what spell? I didn't cast any spell”

the core four are now stunned, “what? but you cursed Audrey to sleep with my mother's scepter-’

“hold it right there dragon breath, if I used the scepter...wouldnt I be asleep right now? cuz im not maleficents blood, only your mom or you can touch it remember?”

mals brain fizzles out, shit shes right

“but if you didn't do it” evie inquires, “who did?”

uma grins turning to her boys “this seems like a job for pirates!!!!” mal is just frustrated “uma give the ember to me, i need it”

uma just hums ‘well I might not give it back~ just to see what happens”

“uma it's not the time for games peoples lives are in danger!!!”

“guarantee me that every single villain kid that wants too, can get off the isle”

“I can't do that” “can't do that huh *holds it over the edge* well how bout now!!”

“deal!...deal”  *uma fake stumbles, harry still tries to catch her* 

the scene continues on like in the movie.

they arrive at the school, going to make their way to audreys dorm, but they find everyone asleep.

the scene continues on like in the movie, but dude doesn't talk. so they have no clue on who the culprit is. 

mal and the others head to audreys room, to use the ember to wake her up, only to find she's not there, they do a minor search tiring to find clues on who took Audrey, uma flops on audreys bed, finds her diary...and that how they find out. 

“Hey, guys...come look at this”

they gather around uma, who reads the last input Audrey put in her diary.

detailing her plan for becoming the queen of auradon, and taking it by any means necessary.

it clicks for harry and uma, but takes a second for the others to understand.

“guys” harry growls, like its obvious,(which it is) “yer princess is the one who cast the spell!”

“shes not like that!” “yeah Audrey wouldn't do something like this”

“oh really” uma hums, flipping though audreys diary “take a look at all this”

pages and pages of heartbreak and grief, rants about the pressure put on by her grandparents, how she never even got an apology from Ben OR Mal.

how shes a failure for not keeping her hold on ben, and how she wishes he had broken up with her like a normal person.

“it's obvious she snapped and took the crown and scepter”

‘We need to find ben” mal says, snatching the book from uma and tossing it on the bed, gil steals a glance, seeing that Audrey hung out at fairy cottage a lot, and stashes that info for later.

“and find FG too, we need the wand”

they all nod, following mal out and to the museum, evie calling fairy godmother.

as they arrive, they see FG trotting up the steps, 

“mal what in heavens-” shes turned to stone, the vks gasp, harry runs towards uma, as always trying to protect her.

“no!”

the rush off, not wanting to get turned into stone.

they stop in front of the school dorms, breathing heavily, Carlos hears dude bark, and (referencing the fact that he can speak dog) asks dude if he knows where ben is, confused harry is confused “what are yeh doin’ pup?”

“I can speak dog” “okay then”

now for the scene Night falls, goes exactly like the movie. but instead of the dance break defeating the knights, its Mal, Uma, and Evie's combined magic that overheat audreys magic and cause it to fail. 

Evie tries the ice breaker, to no avail.

mal sends the boys to find ben, she and the girls follow Uma's plan to go back to audreys dorm to find out where she might be, then Gil brings up that he saw that Audrey likes to hang out at fairy cottage.

core four are surprised, uma and harry are not, their boy remembers things at the best of times.

the boy's forest scene is exactly the same. 

mal, evie, uma, and Celia just start to head to Evie's house, since they know where Audrey might already be.

then the Doug scene, now there is no one kiss, evie finds Doug, but because of her fast thinking, before uma can suggest true loves kiss, evie remembers that she has anti sleeping spell potions, uma is surprised, evie just goes, “my mom is a witch remember?”

Doug wakes up, uma is impressed, “alright im a little intimidated by you now”

“as you should be~”

witch evie is best evie

the boys encounter beast ben, the scene is not changed

back to the girls, mal thanks uma for suggesting audreys place, uma is defensive, mal feels guilt because ‘what the hell have I done to make uma this defensive around me’ 

later mal apologizes to uma about the shrimpy incident, uma does not forgive her

“Apology accepted, but you're not forgiven”

“i-i can accept that”

Audrey boards up the house and mal and uma work together, uma does NOT give mal the ember, she still doesn't trust her. not completely.

the boys arrive, uma reunites with her boys. the scene continues on as in the movie

now the dark forest scene. it continues on as in the movie, but when mal reveals she been lying the entire time, Celia takes the ember from uma, tossing it into the pot.

the scene continues on like in the movie

mal tries to beg uma to help, but she's done with mals shit, she doesn't want to be hurt anymore, harry leads her away.

final fight scene.

uma returns, picking up the dropped umber from the ground where mal dropped it. as soon as she picks it up, it ignites, sensing Umas demigod status. 

dragon mal in the sky pressing down on Audrey keeping her distracted, uma controls the water in the air and plants and sends it towards audreys, aided by the ember, she surrounds Audrey with water and puts pressure on the scepter, breaking it.

Audrey falls defeated.

the movie continues on like normal.

okay, so this is my version of the timeline. hope yall enjoyed!!!!

[faersflower]

not tryna be a bitch but im just wondering, what the *point* is, of reblogging/replying to s5 content, or whatever, with your emotions? i mean obviously i get being angry and im still angry too and i dont agree with the people who r upset that we r still angry. but i just do my best to ignore the people who r excited. i dont reblog their content or anything. i just interact with my circle of tm friends i still follow who still make stuff. and share posts with them to rant at in private. idk

hi last anon here sorry im kinda regretting sending that last one cause i feel like it came off different than i was intending but i just saw your post and ive been trying to figure out how i feel about the whole thing for a while cause im always hyperaware that people who make posts can see my reactions. ur post is just the one that i happened to see when i was thinking about this (1/2)

cuz i saw other conversations about people reacting and stuff in the tag and its just that im a little confused and lost at this point how to best interact in fandom after something like this. im sorry if i came across as rude and i kinda feel like i did by accident but im just trying to understand cause even tho a lot of people are being bitchy about it some people are also making some points and i dont know how to feel about it. sorry again for dumping this on you (2/2)

Okay! This is A Lot ™ but I am kinda the most Middle Lane person I guess. So *cracks knuckles*

To open I will also kind of explain myself a little bit. I myself am a fan content creator for The Magicians. I make edits, fanart, cosplay, and write fanfic for The Magicians! Also really niche and specific text posts where I go off for 45 minutes about a single Eliot outfit but that is just me being a weirdo that is Very Into Costume Design.

About your Ask;

As for avoiding the people that are excited about it I myself sort of do that? I still follow a lot of the content creators mostly because they are friends of mine. There are a couple that I definitely do not follow though because they are a little bit too enthusiastic so I myself do avoid them!

Most of my rants are in private group chats with people that are like-minded with what happened in The Magicians. So I'm not sure what you're getting at with going at me with that particular comment. The post that I made is not about The Magicians in general it's more about the fandom because there are a lot of people that are angry at people who are upset and angry still. And it was more about that and sort of an ableism sort of situation from a while ago. This is an old post that I reblogged today it's not a post that I made for today.

Not to be my stereotypical self I guess (I'm sort of like the flower child of the fandom if you will ⁠— I talk about flowers a lot as well, anyway.)

But we are all just humans. We all went through the same event. We all handled it differently. Some of us are handling it better than others yes that is correct. But those of us that are still upset are allowed to still be upset. Those of us that are excited or allowed to be excited. Do what you want be how you want Express Yourself how you want!

I mean from what I'm aware of and I was a part of Tumblr back in 2011 until 2014 before I took a break until March of last year? But especially with personal blogs that just have like an undertone of magicians to them a lot of people use personal blogs kind of like an online diary so they just kind of post how they feel? Idk posting emotions is just like "why do you write music?" "Why do you create art?" "Why do you write?"

Which can all roughly be answered with The Mortifying Ordeal of Sharing Pieces of Ourselves. We're just sharing how we feel/think/process/what we find interesting/etc into the void that is the universe and hoping for a connection out there. We're just trying our best.

That's really all I'm saying here!!

Really the whole argument that others are having (not really me, but i digress) is about tagging. And it's a bunch of people wanting to dictate how people tags things. Which I understand if it's under an umbrella tag like "The Magicians" or "Eliot Waugh" everybody that is following those tags is going to see it. So if you are tagging it with umbrella tags be prepared for people to notice it that you might not expect to.

I tag my s5/anger posts as "the magaykins" like do what you want! Do what makes you feel best about what you are putting out into the universe! But it is going out into the universe and other people will see it.

Again, I am fairly neutral as far as all of this goes. I'm really middle of the lane like I'm still upset about what happened and everything and I am not excited for season 5 but I'm still contemplating watching season 5. But I'm not like Always Making Angry Posts, either. In fact I am mostly just posting generic Magicians content lmao. I mean right now I'm working on a painting that's a scene from season 1. And then I have another painting planned but it's not from a season, it's technically from the books.

I'm just doing my own Weird Little thing here. I'm not particularly angry I just have 2 Frustrated At the Fandom posts.

Because I am! I'm just frustrated with people trying to dictate how people should feel and project on Tumblr about this particular fandom! We're all in different head spaces! We are all entirely different and separate people and we can all processes in our own ways and we're allowed to do whatever we want it's just frustrating to see people try to control others in the fandom.

That's my particular frustration.

Also just the fact that there is such a huge divide in the fandom between being excited for season 5 and pretending that season five doesn't exist. But I understand ⁠— and I get it, and there's nothing that I can really do to change that, but I also hate that we are so divided by this. But that's a Whole Other Thing. And I can't change that one, sadly.

Also I think that the people that are excited about season 5 feel like the people that aren't are like mad at them for being excited??? We aren't.

We just want to be sure that any triggering content related to the events from 4x13 are Tagged so the people that get triggered by the imagery from that scene are taken care of.

That's all ⁠— from what I am aware of from my perspective. I don't know about others this is just me.

Your local flower child, Eliot costume obsessive weirdo, that goes by Key.

[chi-is-bored]

A rant abt RenAi

I was missing Zero that I wanted to re-read his scenes and saw vkm has alot more chapters since I last visited (I dunno why I was surprised it was like a year ago) but anyway, I chose random chapter to check out and BAM well hello there RenAi *sigh

My first response was 'of fucking couse you do' but I'm not surprised.

My second response was 'shes a girl??'

So then I checked out vkm tags I'm surprised that there are people who were in denial... Like I get it, YuMe isnt direct incest like RenAi and VK and even vkm kinda sunk that ship but like why are you surprised? Were y'all thinking that with YuMe sunk, sensei is implying that incest sucks in her universe? Cause YuMe didnt sunk in canon because it was incest but because kaname was too depresed and fucked up that he crossed the line and hurting yuuki, thats why he decided to 'stop' their relationship.

While checking tags, I read some from both sides... Aaaand....

1. I agree that people who cant enjoy vkm anymore should just stop reading. And like just delve into fanfics and fanart cuz like thats what they are for. But some people like to rant cuz thats what blogs are for. We just need to tag and block tags, man.

2. Saying ALL the ones who dislike or even disappointed abt RenAi is lesbianphobes... Nah hun, its the incest thats they have problem with, I dunno why this is hard, like alot of fans dont like YuMe for the very same reason even tho they're like ancestors apart lol.

3. While some are preetty clear that the reason they dont like it is because incest isnt their cup of tea, but Im seeing some post that is one slip away to purity culture and nuh uh, no just no. Look whatever, some people ship incest, some people dont, when you dont you just press that back button (and I know alot have done, which is fine and good). But for the love of God, I better not see 'incest is wrong' regarding renai's discourse. This is fucking fictional abt vampires! Dark vampires not fucking vegetarian vamps (tho I hesitate to call VK a dark manga.... Its more like a dark rose-colored one)

4. The stalking, creepy way of Ai's bla bla bla.... Like please, none of the vampires in vk are fucking saint. All of our charas are fucking disfungsional. They are not bad or evil, but none of them are good. Zeki even said it, Kaname did the same. And I know, VK has kaname abusive in the end, but *sigh Sensei story is of that tragic backstory caused this guy to fucked up his mind and vampire has instincts that cause these abuse. For the lack of better words Sensei in the story kinda excuse the abuse. I disagree but I didnt write the story so. And sensei has written a parallel of yume with zero ai, but resolved or handled in better way so really, I dont think they're going to go the same mistake as kaname made.

And full disclosure, I dont like RenAi, its not that they're girls, or incest. I have some incest... uh not ship I guess since I'm not invested in their relationship canon but I do enjoy incest fanfic or stories, from the dark toxic one to the pure but 'wrong' love. One example is Okumura Yukio/Rin, they are twins and are demons so really.. I'm not new to these dark themes... But honestly I'm just disappointed.

At first I thought is it because I hate YuMe? But then I remembered my problem with the last chapters of VK was Yuuki's lack of development not Yume, cause I did root for them until the after rido arc. And its mainly because Yuuki devolution that to me are in effect of putting kaname in focus. So in a way I hated YuMe for de-evolving my girl and just ended there without the rise of her character or something.

Honestly I dont think I'm the only one who think that vkm was a fix for that.I think thats why a lot of people are mad that the trio 'dissapear'.

If it isnt clear, its because some fans wanted to see some closures and the development for the charas that were rushed in vk. Until RenAi appeared, it hasnt finished yet, so these fans were miffed or pissed that sensei suddenly focused in RenAi when some charas havent even shown their faces. Dont get me wrong, the way vkm has been written has made me think that all development and closures are going to be written in pieces and disjointed from the start, so I personally dont have a problem but I can understand these fans.

Wait, I think I went on tangent.

Damn this ia long.... Sorry.

I think, bottomline RenAi ticked me off cause its like the de-evolution of yuuki all over again and the way RenAi plot is handled canonwise is not my cup of tea. Tho really VK has always been weak in plot, so we should man up and admit it, VK n VKm are character study stories.

The fanfics on the other hand....

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf