#im putting out here so it can haunt me until i do it

[thebrookesnook]

i've been feeling the strange urge to draw an older chuuya (like in his late 40s) with longer hair + silver foxed. Maybe even a beard like Tsuda Kenjirō or Nakamura Yūichi. Like can you imagine.

[ningvory]

SCREAM - jang wonyoung

1,740 words // yall i wanted to do kinktober sooo baddd but im so outta ideas and school and work has been draining😔 so instead i'll just write 2-3 more halloween themed fics

CW: noncon -> dubcon, ghostface!wonyoung, big dick wony, bully!reader, a little knife play, choking, backshots, doggy, missionary, a little tit play, mentions of reader getting impregnated, squirting, not proofread lolz

its about 11pm on a friday, 'means girls' is playing on your living room tv while you were in the kitchen searching for a pot to put your noodles in. your parents left for their business trip to wherever, you weren't really paying attention after they mentioned you'll be alone for two weeks and that you had a spending allowance of 5k, which is why you were wearing your new black lingerie set under your fuzzy pink robe.

you were humming a song as you head to the pantry to get a bottle of water to fill the pot with until you heard your phone ringtone go off. you went to mute the tv and grabbed your phone, tapping the answer button. you held the phone up to your ear but you're met with silence.

"hello?~" you questioned, dragging out the word. it was a habit of yours when you were annoyed,

"didn't think you'd pick up." the voice was cheerful, too cheerful to the point where it had you furrow your eyebrows trying figure out who's calling you at this time.

"well, i did. so.." you responded with a little bit of attitude. you were starving and here this stranger is playing on your phone. "listen, who the hell are you and what do you want?" you raise your voice a octave.

"your tits look good in that bra, wish i can see the way your ass looks in the panties." you furrow your eyebrows once more. every window was locked and your curtains blocked any prying eyes from seeing inside.

"um—you must've gotten the wrong number or something. i'm hanging up now." you smile half heartedly, trying to wrap things up, whoever this girl is can probably hear your labored breathing.

"hang up this fuckin' phone and i’m killing you myself!" she quickly responded, you froze immediately. especially after hearing some sort of bang coming from upstairs, “not so tought without your friends here, hm y/n?"

you were assuming this was a silly halloween prank call but she knows you personally! she knows your friends and even your name—you can admit that you were a bitch to most people but you didn't think that someone would break in and kill you for it!

"w-what kinda joke is this? this isn’t funny!" you let out a nervous laugh. no way this is fucking real, this is just a prank, right?

the person lets out a hysterical laugh—almost like she’s gone crazy. "you think this is a joke? was it a joke when you make every single day a living hell for me?" she asked but you remained silent, "now you wanna act like a scared little girl? don't you think its time to get what you deserve?" she asks.

the amount of people you’ve been a bitch too, its hard to guess who this person was. the fact that this persons voice was low and raspy to the point where you couldn’t even identify who’s voice this is didn’t help you either.

"i think we should play a game. i’d advice you listen, if you want to live that is." you can hear her smiling through the phone.

your heart is racing now, you have a gut feeling that this person is in the big ass house somewhere and that promise of her killing you is haunting you.

"fine. what's this game?" you try to put on that tough façade, still holding onto your pride.

"go upstairs. into your room." she commands you and you hate it but all you can do now is obey her words.

you grip your phone tighter and walk up the stairs—just like she said. you walk into your room. your pink led illuminated the room.

"good girl~ now, strip." her praise breaks the silence.

"what?" you whispered in disbelief.

"you heard me, don't make me do it for you."

you sigh, you really aren't sure why she wants you to strip for her. maybe to humiliate you on the internet on something but you comply to her demand, untying your robe and letting it drop to the floor. you stand, praying that’s all she meant when she said strip.

"do you not know what strip mean, bitch?" she questions, noticing that you're just standing there.

you stay silent, tears were beginning to form in your eyes and you let out a whimper, “why? are you some kinda sick pervert?” you demand, looking around the room.

it was silent for a while, it was like she hung up the phone on you. your heart was racing, you were getting anxious, “hello! where are you!? who are you!?” you cry out.

as soon as you asked that your closet door opened, revealing a figure dressed up like ghostface charging right at you. you let out a loud scream, backing up into the wall but the figure used that to her advantage, her long hands engulfed your neck, pushing your head into the wall and tightening the grip, forcing a strangled whine to fall from your mouth as you gasp for air desperately.

tears began to fall from your cheeks, your hands came up to hold her wrists before hitting them, desperately trying to pry them off your neck. she swiftly slapped you right across your face and manhandled your frail body on your bed, choked whines coming from you in the process.

“you look so cute like this, crying and at my mercy.” her tall body straddled yours, under her coat and her skirt, you can feel her bulge on your tummy. no way she’s hard from this.

if you were gonna die like this you might as well see who this sicko is, you removed your hands from the hands that were on your neck and you reached up to the ghost mask, removing it from their head. your eyes widen when you realized who it was. wonyoung.

her soulless eyes looked down at yours, a smile slowly found its way onto her face which made shivers run down your spine. she removed her grip on your neck, but still remained ontop of you.

you inhaled air almost immediately, trying to catch your breath before you can question the girl. but before you could even speak, she held a butcher knife right under your chin, “don’t scream or move.” she spoke menacingly.

“since you can’t seem to follow orders i’ll force you to,” she sighs. she starts to slowly move her knife down to your shaking body. the metal causing goosebumps to awake on your body. she trailed down until she got to your bra, she easily sliced it in half with her knife. “hey! i just bought this!” you spat, your first time wearing this set and it’s already ruined? this really isn’t your night.

“shut up, whore.” she’s quick to bring the knife back to your neck, pressing down on it but not enough to draw blood.

your bottom lips quivers which makes her coo before she gets off your tummy and flips your body over. you yelp in surprise with how easy she’s moving your body.

before you can complain she’s pushing your head into the sheets and placing the palm of her hand to your back, forcing you to arch your ass up in the air. to position muffled anything that you might’ve said and you felt your heart drop when you feel her bulge prodding against your ass.

wonyoung slices your panties as well before placing the knife in her mask. she pulls her boxers down along with her miniskirt. she giggles as she hovers over you of you, large hands pinning yours to the bed before she leans into your ear with a wicked grin.

“i’m going to make you scream.”

“w-wait!” you quickly retort squirming under her iron grip.

she wastes no time before she pushes her cock deep inside your virgin cunt.

it was like the wind got knocked out of you. you can't even make a sound, all you can concentrate on is the burn on your hole being stretched out. she had just pushed in and her cock is already kissing at your cervix, just how big is this girls cock?

wonyoung harshly gripped your hips and pulled out until her cock head was the only length left inside you before violently thrusting forward, letting out a long groan at the satisfaction. her hands left your back to grab your wrists to hold them behind your back, and forcefully yanking you back down onto her cock. she wasn't letting you get out of this anytime soon.

she was using your body like you were her human sized sex doll. drool was running down your chin and down to the valley of your tits and your eyes were crossed over, "for someone that hasn't taken a real dick before--you take it like a cock drunk whore." wonyoung muttered loud enough for you to hear. if you hadn't been too busy cryin' n moanin' on her dick, you would've made a snarky comeback.

she's never heard your voice become this high-pitched but she wasn't complaining, "s-so big! y-you're gonna break me!!" you whined through your tears.

"and you're gonna keep taking it all in your little cunt. even after i impregnate you." wonyoung quickly agreed to your statement, shooting three spurts of cum into your cunt.

you thought she'd be done but her hips never stopped smacking into yours, instead, she flipped you over into missionary. she swiftly picked up your left leg, placing it on her shoulder to reach a deep angle.

she continued to drill into your cum-stuffed pussy, her cock heavily throbbing inside you due to just seeing the lewd sight below her, "like being fucked by a killer, gonna cum all over me?"

"uh-huhh~" your eyes rolled back and your body began to shake. she took one of you tits that's bouncing with her thrust into your mouth, earning a loud moan from you. you suddenly felt a little funny, almost like you had to pee? your body soon went limp before you let out a whiny moan, squirting all over her dick and pelvis.

"at first i was just gonna fuck you and then kill her." she pulls out of your sloppy pussy and grabbed her knife. you flinch at these words, a bit terrified of what was gonna happen next, "but i think i'll make you my cute cock sleeve."

[zluty-spendlik]

WAKFU REDESIGN AND REWRITE SERIES PART 2

Yugo

Okay I really should've started with Yugo but I just had so many ideas for Eva I had to let it out. (link to part 1 here)

And with Yugo, I have the exact opposite feelings, because... he's fine. He's the main character, he's a kid, he acts like a kid, he's very thoughtful and kind... I don't have any issues with his character.

But! Theres still ideas i have!

For example, I never quite liked the idea of Yugo being the Eliatrope king and yeah, I know hes a child but he never really... gave me leader vibes, yk? Tbh compared to Adamaï he severely lacks the assertive personality. After finding out that hes the last airbender Eliatrope, he doesnt even care for the culture much. Or like- at all? Hes mostly excited about his superpowers- AND THATS FINE, hes a literal child, but still... a supposed king.

So either make him more invested in his people (you could make a whole arc outta that! He gets hyperfixated on figuring his heritage out he forgets about the here and now - tho that really does sound more like Adamaï) OR make him state outloud that he already has a life and doesnt want to start another one! He likes his friends and adventures and doesnt need anything else... until he does. Make him grow and find parts of himself he didnt even know were missing. New values, a culture he can be a part of!

(Also AU where Yugo actually cant use his powers properly so they only inconvenience him (like accidentally teleporting his stuff) and he tries to stay away from his heritage as long as possible until Grougal is just forced to drag him out the house is so entertaining 2 me istg)

So im fine with the story Qilby has spun, where he and Shinonome are the leaders cause HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?? And anyway, the Adventure duo finding out about Qilbys betrayal through random goofy shenanigans seems pretty in character lmao

Design

I like Yugos design (except for the shoes, they absolutely haunt me) so I mostly just put my own spin on it rather than changing it radically. I briefly debated on giving him a tail or more dragon-like features but then I realized he lived a normal life before all this lol the village would PROLLY NOTICE

Tho it finally hit me that Eliatropes cleatly have deer features- like the little fur thingy at the end of the Eliatrope cap resembling a deer tail??? How did I not notice that??? But I think his s4 outfit resembles a bat way more so idk?

I gave him white freckles like the bambi spots and light blue "wakfu" spots on the back instead of the runes on his chest he has in the Qilby final boss fight. Also I couldnt decide which outfit I like more for s1-2 so which one do u guys like more?

I havent watched season 3-4 but I did a potential s3 Yugo look as well, I had fun :))

Yugo art dump

[gooperts-gunk]

post-qsmp q!bbh's story so far...

back to back we have had new q!bbh story pieces, on mythcraft with lilithluvsya and as mr. x on arkanis, so im going to write down all of my own notes of what we have learned so far + my crazed theory talk :) this will be long!!! note: this is from the perspective of someone who doesn't know mythcraft lore and the only arkanis lore i know is from what i pick up in passing lol. i will do my best!!

starting with the halloween special on mythcraft with lilith and rurus in which bbh helps lilith solve a puzzle that leads to her finding and adopting a new child, we get to see an actual bbh summoning!! im unsure if the treats are a necessary offering or just a kind gesture, but the soulfire-esque flames or wisps seem to be a very specific detail...

the chant lilith says is "hear these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side! come to me, i summon thee, cross now the great divide!" implying that if he's summoned, chances are, he was in the underworld or somewhere else. later on during technical difficulties, lilith mentions that "i don't even know the state of his soul at the moment! because usually whenever i summon a chant through those words," she repeats it, "his soul just acted a bit... weird! he usually doesn't act like that whenever i summon him. usually, the magic feels a bit more smooth, and it was very choppy this time. his soul just felt different from the last time i saw him. i can't put my finger on it." it's hard to say what exactly this means, (i've seen some people think it's about how he died with a split soul, he never got the other half back from purgatory as far as we know...) as we've never seen him be summoned before, but in this case, he just showed up on the chest crying out a confused "HELLO...?" but later on says "i could sense something was off, that's why im here." with his trickster confidence. he also mentions he's "been around, doing my thing. im very busy," and no concrete answer is ever stated. another detail is that halloween is said by lilith to be "the veils between our world meet once a year," meaning as far as we know he can only be summoned on halloween.

when he accepts the treats and attempts to leave he says "im trying to get back home!" a place of residence for q!bbh is implied, whether or not it's one we know of or even if it's an actual house is uncertain. when bad comes across a haunted house he says "oh my gosh! i had a house like this once, only it was red." which might cross out the place of residence being on the island. might, considering the house was later changed because most people hated the red lol. when bad is downed from fall damage lilith comments "why are you so fragile?! you're not usually, like, this breakable." bbh says "oh, as soon as i die, i get to go back home, so..." since we know how !bbh deaths work, (he can only perma-die once from a unique death, e.g. the combination of soul vulture infection and nuke radiation slowly ate away until perma-killing that version of himself, which means it was an entirely unique instance of death. so it's safe to assume that ever since he had fallen, he would have perma-died from simple things like starvation, but then can no longer perma-die from it again, with a possible exception of if it's starvation along with something else at the same time) we know that him dying wouldn't be enough to bring him 'back home' if it's implied to be the underworld or the mind desert, therefore, it would mean that if he dies during a summoning that the connection is immediately broken and he's back to wherever he was at the time. he's sometimes even excited whenever he gets downed, even saying "take me! take me home!" either because 1. he just really wants to get home for some reason or 2. he just really doesn't want to work for lilith.

but, we know he doesn't HAVE to work for lilith, because lilith states at the end after he's left to fellow mythcraft member nex that, "you know how im a witch? ... WELL... a long, LONG time ago... i made a mistake with my magic and i MIGHT have summoned a greater demon who turned out to be a TRICKSTER demon instead and KINDA reversed the contract on me and NOW im stuck with him until i die and i have to do his bidding whenever he comes around, but only whenever i create the first kind of contract for him to flip around. and he kind of... is around, and changes rurus a lot, and i have to work to make sure that rurus can transform back into a human one day because they're stuck in their bunny form..." which is a LOT to digest and she said it all in like two breaths lol. so in reality lilith is stuck with bad, not bad being stuck with lilith, and bad could peace out whenever he wanted because it's trickster demon rules and on top of that he can also transform humans into bunnies??!!

going back to where my previous notes were, when they arrive at rurus' house and bad seeing a painting of himself with 5 cracked eggs around him, he exclaims, "what the fudge is that?! THAT'S CRAZY!! who's the monster who made this??" meanwhile lilith is oblivious to whatever this means. he also steals the painting. rurus shows up! (rurus says he smells like sulfur, which is definitely the 'demon smell' ak!bagi mentions once she has a moment to speak with him after the chaos) rurus mentions making the painting and it was likely a gag that bad wasn't supposed to see during the lore stream but it's there now LOL and bad repeats the same horror to them as they're oblivious too, "it's you blowing up the moon! all the moons that you've blown up?" "oh, yeah, im sure it's blowing up the moon!!" he says in angry sarcasm, and then sobs a little. "i had eggs once..." both lilith and rurus inquire, and lilith is the one to say "you became a father?" in myth!lilith's defense, the residents have a lot of adorable baby creatures they care for and might sooner assume the eggs in question are cute creatures LOL "well i just said i had eggs, so..." "oh, you hatched them?" "ohhh he HAD eggs- lawren, he- he hit menopause, he said something about that..." I HEEHEE'D. idc if it's just a goof and not entirely canon im keeping it in here.

later on, when the trio complete the puzzles and find a well-decorated baby ghost named willow inside a willow tree, bbh's behavior to willow is very endearing and also straight-forward, casually offering some steak that he stole from rurus' house. he finds the way out of the tree for them by hearing a raccoon's chitter, and lilith comments "you're really good at talking to raccoons for some reason..." and rurus pokes further with "did you have a special relationship with a raccoon?" "yeah i- i speak raccoon." this of course is brought up from the perspective of both of them knowing his lore out of character and wanting to poke fun, but it's also a fun coincidence that it was a raccoon, as raccoons are very special to pomme. it starts storming, and rurus tells bad to give willow his hood but alternatively gives willow his soul lantern instead since his hood is a "...non-removable item...".

when they bring willow back to lilith's house, he continues stealing like he has been since he was summoned, but this time he takes a cookie from a cookie jar and passes one to willow before taking one for himself. when willow thanks him and says she loves cookies, he gives her another and says "you can never have too many cookies!" which would immediately make you think of his kids and their cookies, dapper especially as they're a total cookie fiend. as willow settles in he teaches willow the first and only lesson he's given to her so far: "whenever someone invites you into their home, you get to take whatever you want!!" he goes upstairs and shows himself and willow around lilith's house, rurus mentions a gaming chair, of which was a toilet. bad takes it and says, "i know someone who would love this!" which of course would be richas' gaming set-up that had a toilet for a chair because of a prank, if i remember correctly.

bad asks where his room is, making an assumption that his summoning meant he was going to move in. when lilith says he could stay at rurus', REALLY not wanting him here, he says "i can't have a room at both??" like the greedy little man he is. <3 willow is then shown her own room, where bad then proceeds to place the furniture he stole from lilith into the room for her.

the birth certificate is revealed! willow is lilith's daughter, and bbh is her guardian demon. (many were unsure if he was a parent to willow but lilith clarified on twitter that he's a guardian demon that will show up from time to time) rurus inquires if HE scribbled his name there, and he says "no, no! that's crazy. that'd be ridiculous." in a bit of a liar voice.

when he accidentally picks up willow's sign, he courteously says "im sorry," and gives it back, prompting rurus to tell lilith she could just ask and he'd give her stuff back. when she does in a cutesy way, he dodges it entirely by saying "no hablo inglés" and when lilith demands for the furniture in spanish, he says "i don't speak spanish". i wouldn't call it entirely parental as willow's not his kid, but as you can tell bbh has shown far more care and respect to this child he just met than his contractors. the trickster has priorities!

they tuck willow into bed, and bbh falls asleep standing up, when lilith starts shoving him saying it's time to get him to bed, he wakes up suddenly, yelling "night terrors!! night terrors!!" we know he's gone long periods of time without sleeping, but he's having night terrors when he does...

bbh has technical issues, and during that time, rurus and lilith have a back and forth about him and their contract which is summarized in the bout with nex above. rurus says "you know, i used to be able to swear before i knew him, and now i can't." "huh! that's a weird incantation." this itself is likely a joke about their out of character friendship, but they come up with the idea that he might have a literal swear jar that he puts people's swears in, never to be said again lol.

lilith decides to keep the portal open as bad loses summoning connection to their world (aka technical difficulties) so he can visit whenever he likes to be a guardian demon for willow.

this wraps up the mythcraft section of new q!bbh pieces! onto arkanis!

a lot of people were unsure if mr. x would be q!bbh, but it becomes VERY clear based on how he acts with familiar faces, and some late night conversations...

not much to note when bad / mr. x greets fit, but there's a very silly familiarity when he says he'd like to take fit out to brunch right before talking about torturing him... yeah sure man why not O_O when fit asks if he's considered being GOOD and not murdering people, bad says "i considered it, but my therapist says i should embrace my hobbies. im trying to listen to my therapist more." so he at least had a therapist in recent times to tell him this, because on quesadilla island when asked about therapy, he mentioned something along the lines of that he tried therapy once, but he'd get chased out of town by people with pitchforks.

to briefly dissect the cutscene, from what i've learned, bad floating is a sign that he's powerful in valigma! only people with magic in valigma can float, examples being araldo when we get to see him later, and also bia raux who is also brought up to bad when telling him the current lore after the event. also. the manor. the banquet. i love you builders, it's so eggpire-coded. that man can't escape the aesthetic of red vines even if c!bbh tried LOL and another fun detail, he has ghosties/souls bursting around him! it's become integral to his character :)

when mr. x encounters the brazilians and his escaped captive fit, all the fantasminhas float around him! it's super cute that the grim reaper got little ghost sidekicks, and then doesn't even recognize that they're ghosts <3 he mostly called denix a gremlin or goblin, but that's because out of character he DEFINITELY knew who the admin was, that's why he bullied them so much and not the others lol.

even though he's having fun annoying everyone as mr x., bad still takes moments for the little ghosts, like spam crouching with amora when she creeps up to him, him and denix bonding by killing a penguin?? and playing songs on the flute and they all surround him and dance. :)

when the find the button room starts, and bad does his npc voice, bagi immediately starts yelling, knowing the "you got this! you can do it!" all too well, and bad keeps saying it in recognition. while it was already true that ak!bagi is a continuation of q!bagi, this interaction itself can be enough to assume that mr. x is q!bbh if he remembers it like she does. when it's revealed it's a find the button room, she's even MORE distressed, "are you responsible for this? please- please tell me you don't..." "i would never!" he says like a liar, and then maniacally laughs. bagi also frequently calls him "bad" and not mr. x unlike mostly everyone else, seeing through the silly alias.

one interesting detail is how hungry mr. x is for totems!! every once in a while he'll mention how he wants more totems popped, in the valigma cemetary / cemetario do valigma, he asks quel for how many totems they have, when they say a hundred, he says "passa tudo!" and drops mobs on them. he really wants totems for some reason!! does he absorb something from it or did he just really hate foolish that day? lol

once the event is over, bad and bagi get to talk! bad becomes uncle to amora, bagi's daughter. amora is immediately very sweet to bad! bagi catches bad up on what's going on in valigma, telling him about araldo and bia, and bagi thinks because he's a demon that he could help the specialists understand and handle the magic themselves, "you see those pink blocks glowing that way? they're like some of the magic powers that this land has, but we can't just touch it and start doing magic all the way through the town. so, basically, there's powers everywhere that we don't know how to use and those two entities fighting each other, they use different kinds of power. so maybe you, being a demon and stuff... maybe you can teach us how to handle this." which, upon mention of him being a demon, he deflects by admiring a streetlamp. bad didn't act this way with lilith and rurus because they were already aware he was a demon since they summoned him, but he never confirmed anything to bagi other than the vague vastness of his age and his immortality, if i remember correctly. which is more than he's confirmed to other people!

bad points out bagi's smoking, "you've taken up smoking, im guessing it's been really hard?" "yeah! yeah, no, that was because, the things i lived before, you know..." "yeah i understand..." "it caused me a lot of trouble." if im correct in assuming this is about the island and losing the kids... :( which bad then segues into asking if there's an ikea. LOL

when jvnq starts taking bad to pac's house to steal furniture, he says "oh wow! you guys are all nice and close together, i like this. yeah, i hate having to walk really far." knowing that q!bbh tried really hard to get people to live close by to him when he was dying so someone would take care of his kids recontextualizes this as living far away being a regret he still holds </3 (not to mention, cc!bad himself regrets building his bases so far away)

when pac says he'll give bad more muffins and furniture if he teaches him how to fly and such, bad deflects by saying "yeah! it's easy, you just got to... you got a- you got a nice view!" and looking at the black hole outside his house.

later on, when bad gets transported by araldo, they seem to get along nicely and araldo wants him to do MORE chaos at some point, which i believe is worrisome if it's true that araldo is the problem in the fight between araldo and bia raux... but also very fitting for him. meanwhile, sent back to his friends, he has only good things to say about him, and also inserted some of his silly lies. the entire interaction feels reminiscent of the times he'd talk about the 'eyeball guy with the snatched waist' aka the watcher, or even cucurucho to a certain degree LOL

when gabe takes bad to space, bad comments that it's a first for him! "the moon is just like i imagined it'd be..." congrats !bbh for having your first moon experience, at least, as far as you can remember!

meanwhile, transported to the mr. x manor, bad gives a dizzying tour to gabe, denix, and amora! he introduces the skeppy room when asked about his bedroom, mentioning he doesn't really need to sleep, and he instead meditates on top of the skeppy. (someone PLEASE feed this man dapper's special cake recipe) he also introduces his chair and i have no doubt that people have shown a comparison of his chair here vs. his chair in the hall of grim but i'll put it here anyways lol. he's also very consistent because the vod i went to to get a screenshot of his hall of grim chair is the near exact same "and this is my chair..." when he introduces it.

when bad, gabe, denix and amora are in the maze that the experts + fit went through to get to the cemetary, they stop at a corner to chat and gabe asks bad "changing the subject a little, if you had a son now what would his name be?" (possibly more gender neutral than the translator says, which is how bad interprets it,) this likely was on the mind because a bit earlier while exploring the manor, denix asked him to give him a second name or middle name and bad hadn't answered. bad stops to think about it, before prefacing "well, i- i've had kids over the years, a couple, but you're saying if i got a new kid, right? what would i name... him... probably... how do you say 'gremlin' in portuguese?" it's the same, but alternatively gabe offers "duende." meaning denix's second name is probably duende now LOL but more importantly, for the first time, at least directly tonight, q!bbh was reminded of his children. gabe contextualizes why he asked, "it's because in this city... anything can happen, you understand? one day you're single, and sad, and the next you have a family." "no, that's true... yeah. i- i understand what it's like, one day you just wake up and you got kids, i totally get it... and then everybody dies, and you're left alone." OOGH. EEYOWCH. we don't know for certain how long q!bbh has been living after escaping quesadilla island, or if even in the end cc!bad is planning that he escapes at all, he might still be bound to it. but however long it's been, he's been carrying onto the weight of everyone disappearing, with only strange creatures (the bunnies, the penguins, cucurucho...) to keep him company once everyone is gone. gabe inquires about if his family died, and he covers up with "oh, no, im just saying that's the inevitable. that's what happens, sorry." ...top 10 sentences that are more depressing when contextualized by an immortal demon with a heart too big for people to comprehend... :( something that bad misses here is denix asking if he wants to adopt amora, but this comes back around!

transported again, while gabe walks bad towards the boat the experts arrived on, he says "valigma keeps many mysteries and lots of trouble, right? fights, in this case many fights, problems, death, pain, suffering, and then we decide to have a child despite all these problems; how can this be, right? it's a weak point." bad says "yeah, love tends to lead to lots of problems..." which would be specifically commenting on taking care of children. and from the perspective of his current situation, being without them... yowch. :( then bad falls into a ravine, shoved by denix, and amora saves him. :) but when he fell he purposefully avoided landing in the water. :(

later on they go to the leaderboard! there amora offers that bad can adopt her for a while, since she's "kinda an orphan" based on the activity of her parents other than bagi, and he accepts :) though knowing he literally can't be active either lol. from then on, amora calls bad "dad" for the rest of the night, and "pai bad" the next day when talking with some of the experts :)

some more fun stops later, they pause in the gallery as gabe explains more of the araldo and bia beef, to which bad says once more to "wine and dine" araldo... if u want it done right, do it urself, geez... chat, beat this guy up for me... he has a weakness for guys with power... another moment in this stop to goof around, bad says "yeah, im really good at cooking... people. meals." which is normal q!bbh and the least surprising thing he's said or done all night.

the night slowly comes to a close, after running into guaxi for a small reunion, he says goodbye with a bang when denix kills him and he logs out. they then contain mr. x's corpse in a box of glass, preserved for memories <3

if this is what post-qsmp has been like for q!bbh so far, IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE!!! and yes i HAVE spent at least 5 hours writing notes as i vod review!!! q!bbh on arkanis felt a lot like a classic day on qsmp with his character plus some pain and suffering, and q!bbh on mythcraft gave us some extra lore bits to think about!!! very very fun, im sooo excited for whatever ending cc!bad has been wanting to make for q!bbh, because if it means he's still kicking it going around to other worlds, all of his pain in tow, IM SO READY!!! thank you if you went through everything here it was a doozy and mostly for yelling about with other people since i haven't been on tumblr for a while and i miss the screams from here. :)

[tartppola]

mx tartppola do you read twst fanfics,, and if so do you have any good ace fic recs,,

omg... it shames me to say this but... not as much... bcs these days all i read r google translated fics of crowley & the yuulis fics i commission from my mutuals 😭😭😭 IM SORRY GHGHHGG i will!! also i mostly stick to x reader... rarely do i go for canon/canon fics for twst... but !! i'll still give recomendations! of fics i rlly like ( it's all one shots 😭 )

oomf nepotism + writers i think r rlly cool!

@traumxrei-archive

@stormgardenscurse

@spadecentral

@ceruleancattail

@fluffle-writes

tumblr fics i rlly like ( mixed so some headcanons, some oneshots, all x reader )

otome isekai au villainess reader ( ft ♠️ )

encouragement from beyond ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

blanket hog ( ft ♠️)

rainy day ( ft ♠️)

ace doing your makeup

ace and deuce having the same crush ( ft ♠️ )

firsties slipping to a sleepover that fem reader is in ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

pomefiore!ace

basketball club w s/o who eeps on their chest ( ft 🦈 🐍 )

and there was ONE bed 😳

undisclosed passion

ace patching you up

adeuce walking with you ( ft ♠️ )

heartslabyul jealousy headcanons ( ft 🌹 ♠️ ♦️ ♣️ )

angel ace

adeuyuu hcs ( ft ♠️ )

cuddling with ace

kissing adeuce when they ask ur lipbalm flavor ( ft ♠️ )

how adeuce fantasize abt their crush ( ft ♠️ )

adeuce bday kisses ( ft ♠️ )

adeuce fighting to confess first ( ft ♠️ )

things you do that make adeuce fall harder ( ft ♠️ )

model ace

aceyuu ramble

another aceyuu ramble

lovestruck ace

ring in orange proposal

adeuce period comfort hcs ( ft ♠️ )

ace jealous of others falling for you

hot things ace does

housewarden ace

streamer ace getting a gf

you're what's missing in my life ( ft 🦈 🐍 )

when you know you know

love beyond words ( ft 🐺 🐙 )

shenanigans ( ft ♠️ 😼 )

sweet sleep ( ft ♠️ )

ace with knight reader

traitor ace ( cw yandere )

good luck kiss before match ( ft ♠️ )

tropes to lovers ( ft all nrc boys )

best friend ace

"someone" decides to ask you for your opinion about "their friend" and you decide to tease them. ( ft ♠️ ⚔️ )

cupid is so dumb

soft mornings

devotion of a contrarian

airheaded s/o ( ft 🌹 ♠️ )

another beautiful day ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

"what outfit should i wear for the date?"

oooo you wanna kiss me so bad ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

it's definitely, absolutely, not love

you wish to kiss me? ( ft 🌹 ♠️ ♦️ ♣️, genderbend )

red and blue ( ft ♠️ ) ( cw yandere )

falling too deep too fast ( ft ♦️ 👑 🐊 🐍 ) ( cw yandere?? )

the joker and the queen ( ft ♠️ )

behind the teacher's back

heart-shaped kisses

tell it to my heart

"i'm losing my appetite" ( cw hurt/comfort )

nightfall ace

ace + sun

movie night

haunted house date with ace

you doing ace's makeup

amuse me ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

what made your friends think you're dating him ( ft 🦁 )

high school romance with ace

how he says i love you

he's absolutely smitten with you ( ft 🍩 )

poly with adeuce ( ft ♠️ )

fooling no one

heartshackle relationship analysis ( ft ♠️ 😼 )

stay by my side ( ft ♠️ ) ( cw yandere )

christmas with poly adeuce ( ft ♠️ )

cuddle pile! ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

^sequel to the cuddle pile ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 )

stars by the pocketful ( ft 🌹 ♠️ ♦️ ♣️ )

poly adeuce with affectionate s/o ( ft ♠️ )

waking ace up in the morning

adeuce yan teamup ( ft ♠️ ) ( cw yandere )

sending your crush a survey form ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 🐊 )

can i go where you go? ( ft ♠️ 🐺 🍎 )

come close, i won't bite

unrealized feelings

foxboy ace

your speckled face

reader confesses and immediately runs away embarrassed ( ft ♦️ 🦈 ☀️ )

competition ( ft ♠️ )

come inside of my heart!

longform fics/series

a reverie until recently ( i commed this! poly oysterjuice post nrc au i put it here bcs it's my list!!!!! u dont have to read it )

hearts held out of harm's way ( same author! reccing the tumblr version instead bcs cool logo :D poly adeuyuu )

three people, who share one soul ( fic series, will they won't day adeuyuu )

how to get the boy : a guide by yuu & ace ( first adeuyuu fic i downloaded on my phone aside from my comms and nath's sebek one shots!!! i love it sm even after all this time GRAHHHHH i liked it even during my malleus phase bcs it was so cute! )

[bitterbutblue]

lingsha moments <3

when you're close to me ☆ lingsha x reader

~ i hope u guys have been doing welllll uni is kicking my ass but ive made so many friends and im happy!!!!! clubbing sucks tho i do not get the appeal sorry guys and gays..

lingsha lovers i hope this helps the lack of lingsha content.., i am starved fr

song: on melancholy hill - gorillaz ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

The idea of an eternity, immortality and a life that comes with no end has always been a fascination until it became a reality. Like to never meet your heroes, Lingsha wishes they had never been so ambitious and made their dreams a nightmare. She never cared for the idea of eternity, an idea of rebirth or reliving until she stumbled across you. Because now the idea of having to lose you haunts her every move, the idea of having to lose you haunts her every morning when she wakes up, when she touches you and feels the soft pulse of your heart beneath her fingers as she lays her hand on yours. She takes in the shape of your body, the shape of your face. She runs a hand up your arm, cupping your cheek with a light touch. The human skin is so soft, so fragile. You could bleed any minute, you could fade any minute and it scares her so much.

"Baby?"

Your voice snaps her out of her trance as you blink sleepily, trying to make out the shape of her face from the darkness that she has learned to embrace as part of loving because it's in the dark where she's most intimate with you.

"Mhm?"

"What's wrong?"

Her heart stutters at your hoarse voice, the hint of worry laces your words in such a way it has her wanting to hold you even closer. She acts on her thoughts, resting her head in the crook of your neck as she gently puts an arm around your waist. She feels you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head as you wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to you.

Close to you.

It's all she really wants. She wants to wake up every morning to the sound of your heartbeat, your scent of shampoo and conditioner. She wants nothing more than to write your name in the very stars she looks up at every night so that she can see you every time she looks up into the night. Yet it haunts her, the inevitability of it all.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't lie to me, Lingsha."

She can feel your heart beating against her own chest, she can feel your arm tense slightly as move to look into her eyes and it's dark but she would recognise your eyes from anywhere.

"I love you." Is all she says.

She watches you hesitate, worry crossing over your face as you tuck a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. She will always smile when you touch her, even if it's something as simple as a graze of the hand or a touch of the cheek. She smiles now, the morning light barely peeking over the dark curtains and the two of you laying side by side.

"I love you most."

She just pulls you back down gently, returning to rest her head on your chest as your legs tangle together- you merge into one for maybe just a minute where your hearts beat together like a well oiled machine and for a minute she forgets about the briefness of it all.

"Talk to me?"

She shakes her head.

"Later. Just let me lie here for now."

A warmth blooms within her when you just sigh, pressing a kiss against the top of her head once more and she clings onto you like a lifeline.

"Anything for you."

The summer breeze has always been a reminder for Lingsha. The way the air cools during the night, and the cicadas quiet down as the sun fully sets into the evening. The evening nights held so many special memories with the person who occupied her heart, so many moments with your hearts intertwined and written in the skies above for all of the universe to see.

The night sky has always been ours.

A deep, shaky breath is released as she holds her bouquet of flowers tight, close to her beating heart. She hopes to transfer some of who she is into the flowers she holds in her hands as she reaches her destination. She smiles softly when she sees the faint outline of you, her heart twisting.

"Hello, my love."

She crouches down slowly in front of the tombstone in front of her, swallowing down the lump that has begun to form in her throat as she places the flowers down on the side. She takes a shaky breath in, trying to calm down how fast her heart was beating, how with each thump it slams itself against her ribcage, trying to break itself into pieces that would never be able to function the same way as it did before. She touches the edge of the tombstone with her fingers, feeling the rough gravel beneath her fingers as she sits down properly next to you.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come last week."

She leans her head against what was left of you, the scratchy rock being all that's left. She closes her eyes as she lets out a shaky sob, she closes her eyes as she tries her hardest to just feel a heart beating beneath her, to feel the warmth of a human body instead of the prickly grass and dry dirt.

"I miss you."

Is all she can manage out as she grips at the grass beneath her feet, knowing she could never feel your hand on top of hers again. Knowing she could never feel your fingers intertwine as you hold her close and tell her it'll be okay. She grips at the grass, feeling the fragile blades snap as she digs her fingers into the dirt below, anchoring herself the best she can but she's shaking now and she feels like her lungs are collapsing.

She just wants to feel your heartbeat against hers once more, but she knows it would just make it harder for her to let go of you- as if she could even do that to begin with.

"Come back.."

A hopeless cry into the night, begging for a reality that can only be seen in the past- a past where your smile is no longer as clear as it once was and your voice is muffled. You'll fade one day, even in her mind.

She wants to scream.

She just rests her head against what's left of you and closes her eyes- she just pretends it's you. She replays what's left of your muffled voice, she tells herself it's okay. She tells herself you're still close, you're still here.

You smile at her from the stars.

[mrinafria]

Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.

Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.

There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.

But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.

He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"

Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.

And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.

I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.

But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.

He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.

He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.

This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')

p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.

[djarintreble]

Two Lines || e. munson

pairing: dad!eddie x fem!reader

tags: part of my dad!eddie series, arwen munson asks all the right questions, pregnancy test + positive results, repair shop eddie canon, so much fluff i could cry, eddie being the best dad + husband

word count: 2.4k

a/n: hi friends, it’s been so long! i see all your requests and im working on them slowly but surely! i couldn’t find the post that requested this but it was along the lines of “GIVE ARWEN A BABY BROTHER!” so surprise! the munson family is growing!! ✨✨

_____________________________________________

Arwen was always a chatty baby. Taking from her father, she made her presence known anywhere you went. The grocery stores, libraries, you name it. You loved that about her. Eddie always encouraged her and would follow along with her antics creating endless entertainment for you. She was also a smart child. Your husband claims that's a trait she could only carry from you. The combination of both traits created a curious baby who, when words could be articulated, would question everything around her.

At the age of two, she was able to comprehend the fact that she could ask for a sibling. As if that’s all it took to have one. That grocery trip was very memorable. Eddie began to drive away from the store when Arwen asked "Where's my baby?"

Now as she turned five, her observant nature continued to create milestones as she asked yet again, "How much longer until I can have my baby?"

You were brushing out her hair, helping her get ready for her second week of kindergarten. She asked while looking at you through the reflection of the mirror. Her beautiful brown eyes wide as she tapped her legs at a steady tempo, fighting the urge to move as you fixed her hair.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" You asked with a slight smile.

"You've been sick. Heather's mommy said she was very sick when Heather had her baby brother."

You've yet again been left speechless. You have in fact not felt well the past few days. Something was off. They say children and animals know first...

"Well, uh, Arwen... As soon as mommy knows she's having a baby, I'll be sure to tell you. But you can also get very sick for other reasons too. Like eating too much sweets after dinner." You nudged her, giving a knowing look in the mirror. She gave a nervous smile. She's been caught.

"But daddy said I could have them." Your change in topic worked well as you finished putting her curly hair into a loose ponytail.

"Of course he did. It's alright. As long as dad or me say you can. Maybe that's why I haven't been feeling well."

"Eating too much sweets?"

"Eating too much sweets.” You confirmed. “Now let's go. You don't need to start your tardy record this early on in your academic career."

•••••••••••••

You got back into your car after dropping Arwen off for school. Her words seemed to haunt you as you began your trek to the general store.

This trip was originally suppose to be to pick up a few items needed to make dinner and more toilet paper. Now you couldn’t help but steer into the aisle that held the item that might confirm or deny the lingering question in your head. “Was Arwen right about me being pregnant?”

Aimlessly walking through the aisles, you kept thinking through the ‘what if’ questions in case the test does come back positive.

What will eddie say? are we ready? is arwen really at the age to handle a sibling? do we need to move into a bigger house?

The one thing that you didn’t necessarily care about in Hawkins was that everyone talked. You knew that if you were picking up a test and anyone saw you checking out with it, people would talk. Not that you cared, it came with the territory, but it made it real. You grew up here along with Eddie. Eddie was always the talk of the school. Apart of you was always scared, despite being out of high school, of anything causing Eddie or his family to be in the center of the towns gossip.

You picked the most discreet package and quickly checked out with the cashier you knew the least. It felt stupid, but you always wanted to do what you could to keep your life more private in the drama filled town called Hawkins.

With groceries for dinner, toilet paper, chocolate and a pregnancy test, you left bradley’s big buy and headed to the house.

••••• | | ••••••

Two lines.

You couldn’t believe it.

Two lines.

You were expecting another child. Joy clearly painted on your face as your mind raced off all the ways to tell your husband. All the jokes of starting a family band. All the times Arwen asked for sibling.

After pacing the bathroom over ways to tell Eddie, you finally figured it out. Eddie would pick Arwen up from school and they’d both be home in about an hour. It was perfect.

••••••••••

The door opened and you could hear your daughter running into the house as her sneakers squeaks through the halls.

“Hi mommy, we’re home!” she yelled.

You were in the kitchen starting the preparations for dinner. You listened out for Eddie as you continued to hum to yourself, cutting up some carrots. You couldn’t hide the smile that came from the anticipation of sharing the news to your husband and daughter.

“Hey sweetheart,” Eddie entered the kitchen and went straight to wrap his arms around you. You continued to cut up the vegetables. “How was your day?”

Your husband smelled like fuel, forest mint shampoo and a touch of cigarettes. It was a scent you became familiar with and it suited him. He worked at the local repair shop and the fumes always seemed to linger home with him. You didn’t mind it though, it was your Eddie.

You put your knife down to turn around in his arms and look at him. He had his typical messy work ponytail, the coveralls were unbuttoned and rolled to his waist so he was left in a white t-shirt that had some grease stains and his guitar pick necklace laid over the shirt. You could never get over how beautiful your husband was. Sure you agreed to other words, but beautiful was what came to mind in that moment. Maybe it was the hormones.

“Well hello to you,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Better now that you’re here.” You smiled.

“You know flattery gets me.” He smirked, giving you another peck before letting go and heading toward your room. “I’m going to get a shower real quick. I’ll be right out.”

While he showered you finished putting your dish together to cook in the oven for an hour. This was all the time you needed to share the news.

“Hi mommy.” Arwen said, following you into the living room.

“How was school, sweet girl?” You asked, hoping she’d ignore the guitar case that was randomly on the coffee table.

“Good.” she shrugged. “Ms. Jones said we’re doing a concert for veterinarian day.” Arwen smiled wide, showing off her new missing tooth.

“Veterinarian day?” You puzzled.

“Yeah! Where we sing for the soldiers of America.” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Do you mean ‘Veteran’s day’?” You pondered.

“That’s what I said! Veterinar-ran’s day.” Her furrowed eyebrows in confusion made you laugh even more as she didn’t see a difference in her words.

“Well that sounds like fun! Did you tell daddy?” You brushed back Arwen’s fly away hairs as she bent down to sit against the coffee table. Some of her coloring books laid open from her previous drawing session and she continued where she left off, clueless to the guitar case still.

“Yeah he said I’m going to get a solo.” She shrugged again so nonchalantly as she colored it amazed you the amount of confidence one 5 year old have. Well imagine having two.

That reminds you.

“Hey, Arwen, sweetie.” Your daughter looked up at you. “Would you wanna help me keep a big secret? I’m gonna surprise daddy in a second and I need your help.” You whispered. She jumped up and dropped her crayons with a big nod.

“Okay!” The giddiness expressed on her face was enough to make you cry. She scurried over to put herself between your legs as she leaned in to hear the secret.

“Remember you asked me earlier if I had a baby in my tummy?” Her eager nods almost hit your head before you leaned back a bit. You pulled out the test and showed her. “I went and got a test that tells me if you were right. Look, it has one line for no baby and two lines for yes baby. Can you count with me?”

Arwen was learning her numbers so it was important to find any chance to have her count. This seemed like a fun moment to remember. She stuck out her finger and pointed in the air as she counted out loud.

“One… Two… There’s two.” She smiled at the accomplishment of counting properly. By then, she realized just what the two lines meant. With a shriek that could alarm the neighbors, Arwen jumped into your arms and gave you the biggest hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She repeated.

“Thank you?” you laughed. Those were not the words you were expecting.

“I wanted a baby sister for so long.” She beamed.

“Well I can’t promise a sister but we will see! Now listen, I want to surprise daddy but I promised I’d tell you as soon as I knew. When he gets out of the shower, can you keep a secret while I’ll tell him?” You made a shushing sound as you quietly put the test inside the guitar case. When Arwen realized what you were doing, she snickered to herself, covering her mouth with her tiny hands.

“Was that Arwen?” You heard Eddie say from across the house. Arwen looked at you with wide eyes and tan back to the other side of the coffee table to resume her coloring as you sat, pretending to open the guitar case.

“Yeah… She was showing me how she was going to audition for that solo you promised her.” You looked up at your husband who was now fashioning a pair of black lounge pants, a faded band tee and he was scrunching his wet hair with his towel.

“If that’s how you’re gonna sing I might need to take that back.” Eddie laughed. “Is something wrong?” He grew more suspicious. With hearing Arwen scream from his shower and then you messing with his guitar case, he was nothing but skeptical.

Your eyes grew wide as you noticed his eyebrows begin to bunch up the same way Arwen’s did just moments ago. “Yes, Arwen told me she put a toy in your case but I can’t seem to open it to get it out, can you try?”

Eddie looked over at Arwen in a slight disappointment of messing with his guitar case but you reassured her she was okay with a quick wink.

After sitting down beside you, Eddie gave your leg a pat and pulled the guitar case closer to him.

“Let’s see what toy you got stuck this time. If it’s Ozzy Osbear, we’re going to have to have a word.”

As soon as he said that, the clicks of the guitar latches undid and you sucked in a breath. The case opened and you could hear Arwen begin to giggle next to you but to you were too busy looking at your husbands reaction.

Eddie’s face was blank as he stares at the positive test sitting in his guitar case. The quietly controlled giggles from your daughter turned into a fit of laughter and cheers. She jumped up from the coffee table once more and wrapped her arms around your neck as you both waited for Eddie’s reaction.

He hasn’t moved since he opened the case, staring at what signified a new chapter in the book you called life. This was the exact opposite reaction he had when you shared you were expecting Arwen. Then, it was so sudden. You woke up one morning sick as a dog and Eddie suggested you took a test as a joke. When it was ruled positive, it was you that was silent. Eddie was ecstatic, jumping around your bedroom with hoots and hollers before smothering you in kisses.

Now he just stared.

“Eddie, you okay?” You finally asked. He finally turned to face you with an uncertain face.

“We need to move the band equipment to the garage.” He said, randomly.

“What?” you giggled. “We don’t have a garage.”

“Oh.” Your husband responded, contemplating. “Then I need to sell some of it or see if Gareth could hold some of it. We need a house with a garage.”

“Is daddy okay?” Arwen let out. She was just as confused as you were.

“Let him think it out, Ari.”

“Do we need a bigger car? I knew it was stupid to get rid of the van. Maybe a mini van?” Eddie continued.

“Eddie-“

“Did we get rid of all of Arwen’s baby clothes? Maybe we could reuse them to save-“

“Eddie!!” You caught his attention. “Hey, stop that smart brain of yours for one second.” You placed a hand on his cheek to which he had no choice but to lean into.

“You’re pregnant.” He said quietly.

“Yes, I am. And we’re going to have another baby.” Saying it out loud made it a reality and suddenly you couldn’t hold back the tears. “And you’re an amazing father because before anything you’re first priority was to provide. We don’t need a new house or a new car. You’re all this baby,” you pointed down to your stomach, “Arwen and I need. I am so thankful for you.”

Without another word, Eddie pulled you into a deep kiss. One that confirmed with you that he was just as happy as the day you found out you were pregnant with Arwen. It just caught him by surprise.

“We’re having another baby.” He repeated.

“I’m having a baby sister!” Arwen exclaimed. This caught the three of you in a laughing fit. Eddie leaned into you, wrapping his arms around you as he nudged his head between your neck and shoulder.

“Or baby brother.” You responded to which Arwen gave a grimaced look.

“No. A sister.” She shrugged.

“Whatever it is,” Eddie started. He pulled back to place a hand on your stomach, “Welcome to the Munson family band, kid.” He kissed your stomach and pushed back up to kiss you again. “I love you, sweetheart. You’re amazing.” He then jumped up to grab Arwen. “Let’s go, Princess. It’s time to celebrate! MOMMY IS HAVING A BABY WHOOO!” He ran across the house holding Arwen upside down. Her giggles faded as Eddie ventured to the kitchen for a celebratory dessert.

You took the test out of the case and followed after them. If this is what life was like with Eddie and your kiddos, you could totally see having more. Maybe it’s the high of the celebration or the deep love you had for your husband. Either way, it clicked…

You really did new house with a garage because your family, both chosen and given, was getting bigger no matter what.

—

series taglist: @geekmom3 @ruinedbythehobbit @dark-academia-slut

honorable tags I think would enjoy this story based on previous interaction (I love your comments on the last stories so hi ily): @aesthetic-lyssa @yodelingtea @wintermunsonreads @lovelyladymayyy

eddie munson taglist thread: @catpjimin @senthiasworld @foxsmvlder @a-lil-pr1ncess @cryuki-patootie

[coffeegnomee]

I wanted to write about how far Zam has come with his character for like a week now and now he’s acknowledged it himself so I finally grabbed all the quotes.

Let’s go down memory lane shall we? 

DAY 1 

24:00 “There’s a ghost that haunts my dreams [...] I see him in my sleep. He tells me to kill people. But I don’t want to kill anyone”

“I have to hold it in.. [...] I wish I had like horror sound effects to play and images of every lifesteal member dead and I could flash them across the screen” does that. 

ZAM: “*lights armadillo on fire* “give it a slow, painful death” PENTAR: “for someone against the whole idea of killing, you seem to have a gruesome way around killing things.” ZAM “I’m still me” [armadillo dies.] “I can only resist the urges so much [evil giggle]”

10:07:00 after Pentar kills him “It’s not about being above anyone by not killing people, I would just prefer not to. Because last season I feel like I was.. Something else. And I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be that again. You know?”

“Because it’s not supposed to be some morality, ‘I’m better than you’ kind of thing, you know? I don’t want to be on some like high horse. It’s more of like, I just don’t wanna let the demon out, you know, that type of thing”

Reflecting on the first two days, I wrote this about Zam: This season looks like an internal battle of his personal desire to complete a minecraft challenge™ (no kills) vs his desire to do lore and change his character multiple times. And I just don’t think the challenge wins long term. A challenge isn’t what makes him love lifesteal, it’s the lore. 

Day 4 7/9/24

1:01:05 “‘zam has no enemies’ no, it’s not that I have no enemies, it’s just that if I kill people, I’m going to become like a monster. Like way worse than anyone else on the server. You know? And I like don’t want that reputation if I’m like just peacefully building. [...] ‘oh bro’s scared to hurt others then?’ yup! [...] ‘bad things will happen…. (meep)’ yea last time I hurt someone, last time i tried to hurt someone, bad things happened. And i just… can’t do that again, you know?”

1:21:40 killing bogged in trial chamber. “It feels nice cutting things down, I don’t think I’ve been doing enough of this. [...] I’m going to kill all of you, I’m going to kill every single one of you. [...] is it weird to say that I’ve missed this? Even though ‘this’ is just cutting down a bunch of skeletons, just jumping up and down and left clicking [...]  [evil giggles (and not to anything in chat)] [...] my sword might say “im so sorry’ but I’m not sorry, I’m not even a little sorry right now” 

2:19:05 “”also Zam is emo’ (chips) “no i’m not! I’m so happy! I’m the happiest i've been in a long time. That’s why I have my nipple out. That’s not true why did i say that” 

4:04:50 Wemmbu killed Spoke. ZAM: “[opens statistics] it still says zero. It still says zero. It still says zero it still says zero. So I’m fine. I’m fine. Cause it still says zero.. [walks around base] I’m fine. It’s perfectly fine. ‘0 plants potted’ (arch) okay actually that’s what I got the clay for so.. Thank you for saying that actually, very convenient timing. [goes to shed to smelt] [blows out breath] I’m just gonna chop down trees. I’m just gonna chop down trees and I’m just gonna leave this group and I’m gonna chop down trees and I’m gonna have a fun time and nothing bad’s gonna happen. And everything’s gonna be a-okay [hannah logged on] I thought Mapicc logged on I cannot lie. Okay maybe I’m scared. [Mapicc logs on] [gasp, crouches] motherfucker. Motherfucker [under breath]”

Dies to Mapicc three times. 

5:26:00 is thinking about how he’s doing a character nobody else on lifesteal has done before. Puts on a lore song. “‘If there’s one thing you’ve been consistent in the last two seasons, it’s been steady in your morals until the end’ (chips) yea. But here’s the thing though [giggle] does it matter? Or like, what’s it called. Am I restricting myself? Do you guys think? Most definitely, right. And it’s like. I dunno, a big part of me feels like it would be nice to like, let go, and just like, join in on all the violence, and everything, and all that stuff. You know? Like it would be nice. It would be nice, I think. Maybe. Maybe not, I don't know… [evil giggle] ahhh. [long pause, arch in chat said ‘once you do it you can’t go back though’ he doesn’t read it out] [lore music cuts out] [very seriously] no that’s stupid. No. I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna. [blows breath] I’m not gonna let myself go as far as I did last season. I’m not gonna let myself do anything like that again [tehe giggle] [huffs out breath]”

5:28:18 “‘it was fun tho’ (chips) it was, but it was fun at the expense of others. It was fun… but it was damaging to the server.. It was. I dunno. I don’t think it’s who I want to be. I don’t think I was born to be…That. you know? I don’t know. I feel like that’s not who I am. I feel like that was never who I was.” 

7/13/24 end fight day 

~2:38:00 ZAM: “‘its not ok to kill people but it's ok to ask people really nicely to kill people you don't like’ I’m allowed to persuade people’s opinions, I think, and I can only do that when I’m really really mad. [...] But i dunno. [sigh] I’ve messaged both opposing teams so i dunno, I don’t care enough though. Whatever. This is beyond me."

“Joker zam went back into his closet’ (meep) that’s true. I was possessed for a second there. [messages MC chat saying that] ‘my evil self wishes for me to kill everyone. I won’t tho.' 

7/14/24 day he kills planet

Hour and half of Pangi messing with him while he gets more and more frustrated at the shulker farm. 

1:28:50 Zam flies after Pangi and crits him out, but he stops. “I can’t crit him out like that, I’m gonna get my first player kill and it’s gonna ruin all my lore” 

1:40:00 pangi is still singing, Zam bows him, then tries fishing rodding him. He comes up the farm PANGI: “hey PrinceZam, do you need therapy?” ZAM: “shut up you always got some noise to make, shut up. [...] I bet you’re my first kill this season” PANGI: “BAHAHAA” ZAM: “just kidding I won’t kill anyone. Just kidding. Just kidding just kidding. That was a joke. That was a joke. I won’t kill anyone. [blows out breath]” PANGI: “okay PrinceZam.” 

1:47:00 ZAM: “what the fuck just happened to me. Dude, I need to stop. He keeps, he keeps trying to get me to get my first kill, bro. He’s trying to get me to get my first kill. I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. It’s getting harder and harder, with each and every day, to hold back [sigh] oooh kay. ‘Why aren’t you killing anybody’ because as soon as I kill one person, I go down a dark dark path. And you don’t want to see that dark dark path. ‘WE DO’ I don’t. K fine, maybe you do. I don’t. A great darkness lurks within me. A great darkness lurks within me. It’s consumed me, ever since, ever since I was young. ‘Your dark side is banging on the door, let the poor guy in’ no. noo. I’m gonna build a closet in my house. ‘PLEASE DO IT’ where could I even, oh I know where I could actually build a closet right now, let’s do that right now actually hold on. Unironically lets do that right now” 

6:24:44 zam goes to bacon in his base, “Whenever I sleep, he comes to me. So i try not to sleep in that bed anymore” BACON: “[baffled] how did that even start. Like how did you even, what, how did this even become a thing in your head” ZAM: “[ignoring] there’s a demon in my closet, any time, any time I die he comes closer to possessing me.” BACON: “okay what is the demon trying to get you to do.” ZAM: “kill everyone” BACON: “oooohhh. Oh I like that. Okay okay” ` 

Then there’s the fated Bacon stream 

2:39:00 bacon and planet meme around about the build battle rules and Zam snaps, “if you want to be a bitch about it you don’t have to fucking play, goddamm. Dumbass fucking planetlord and baconnwaffles. I hate both of you. Fuck you guys. I’m going back into the house… i’m going into my closet” 

They clean up spawn a bit, he comes back out swinging at them. Then goes on top of the lighthouse and starts shooting them from a distance. 

Planet takes off all his armor and pops like a grape.

Then on Spep’s stream he stalks Spep around to the End islands, generally just looks really threatening. Says he won’t remember this when he wakes up, but Spep will. 

7/15/24 

~14:00 ZAM: “[strained] dude, pangi I killed planet” PANGI: “[strained too]I know. Hey, it wasn’t your fault” ZAM: “i shouldn’t have even had a bow” 

He builds the tree and writes his first oath 

In the first draft he wrote “I cannot do anything that goes against the interest of the entire server”

he changed “entire server” to “majority of players” to “most players” 

And changed “attack any player” because chat went crazy about him not being able to punch anyone, to “kill any other players” 

7/18/24 

Flame and mapicc start fighting

22:40 ZAM: “dude I did give mapicc a heads up there, I can’t lie. [realizing] I’ve been playing all sides, I can’t lie. This is interesting. I’m just chummy with everyone, I dunno, i don't do it intentionally. I do it a little intentionally, i can’t lie, but not like, intentionally”

33:20 ZAM: “I really don’t like the idea of playing both sides, but like, like- I’m trying my hardest not to, [...] Like if you shove 100 dollars in my face like I’m probably gonna take it right? Like like [giggling], it’s just like, ugh, it’s so stupid [laughing] i don’t like this. I don't know, I’m opportunist I guess. I’m just an opportunist I guess because I'm pacifist and I don't wanna die." So. But like also I really just don’t like the idea of being someone who plays both sides, it’s so awkward” while watching the fight from a distance. "

7/20/24 

From 2:43:00 to 3:15:00 hops between group chats and instinctively gets information and relays it to everyone else. Actually just leaks every word he hears lol. 

4:51:10 “imagine flame goes on a killing spree just so he can pay you to make more builds lol’ (citrus) dude. Is the blood on my hands then? That’s something I was wondering, what if this becomes bad. To where they’re like murdering people just for the sake of like, whats it called, paying me. ‘Yes you're evil then’ (sin) aw shit. It’s my fault. I mean I guess it depends on how bad it gets. I felt really bad when they killed jepex for me. I can’t lie, in the moment I thought it was really funny but looking back, it’s literally the same as like. Like I think me asking them to kill someone is the same as me killing them myself, it lowkey does not matter. So I’m lowkey like having another moral dilemma right there, on that one. ”

“I’m gonna stop asking people to fucking kill people for me that’s stupid, i don’t want to do that anymore”

This is so interesting, because day 1 he just wanted the statistic, and it was okay for him to do traps or gaslight people and all that. Then it was no traps, no violence. Then it was it’s okay to influence the opinions of people who already want to kill the people I want dead. Now it’s like, even that is not okay.

7/21/24 building Flame’s volcano in one day

45:00 [unprompted] “do you know something I was thinking of, which like, i just feel like it would be so easy to turn like, any tree, at spawn, into a trap. It would be so easy right? [...] I’m not gonna do it! Just like a fun idea. [..] [starts making the trap] but then it would make it real. I shouldn’t do this actually. I- i shouldn’t do this. This isn’t a good idea. Nevermind. Nevermind. [rubs face] Ooh my god, back to building back to building. I’m building I’m just building. [puffs out breath] I’m just building. I’m building a castle. I’m not why would I - why would i even make a [giggles] why did I even do that in the first place.” 

2:43:00 breaking the bedrock of the end fountain to make a concrete duper “i feel really good at this. Like too good at this. It’s just holding down q, it’s not that special. But fuck. ‘It’s in your blood’ I don't want to be the guy that left behind, that broke all that bedrock, you know? I don’t want that to be my legacy, I don't want that to be my reputation. I don’t want that to be what I leave behind. Aw geeze. [breaks last bedrock] oh my god. [frustrated] That was effortless”

7:31:30 “‘it’s ok you can blame all your blunders on the demon’ (seri) [lore] what if there was no demon. [not lore] new headcanon. Just me trying to justify my acts. [soft giggle] waittt.. [pause] thank goodness the demon is real, so. the demon is real. Only i can see him” 

8:23:00 crashout over not being “able” to defend himself.  “‘its okay zam we saw how you are at the end of every single season’ (citrus) yea, you guys have. The deep darkness that’s within me, [giggle] ugh. ‘They’ll see… one day’ (mer) I don’t want them to see, no, that’s the thing, i don’t want them to see. [..] It’s just like, like I Could fight, it’s just such a hassle, to like, get into it, and then not, you know. Cause like, okay, okay, here here, let’s envision it, lets say I do want to fight people, right? theoretically, but, I don’t want to let out the evil evil darkness that’s within me, right? How the hell am I gonna do that when I’m constantly taking fights, constantly losing, constantly getting overly attached, overly invested in conflict, like how am i gonna, how am I gonna contain the demon within, if I, what’s it called, if I, if I’m constantly getting myself into fights? You know? ‘Getting good’ (chips) no but like I’m being dead serious, like cause, what’s it called, eventually they’re gonna hit me in a way that is gonna make me want to go full force, there’s no point in trying to fight if I’m not gonna go 100% all in, you know? So. I dunno. Maybe if I get better at my self control and discipline” 

So there’s two things. One, “it’s a hassle” is classic burnout. And you just have to wait for burnout to leave. And two, he is very self aware that someone will do something that will make him get invested. But he won’t flip that switch until that happens because there is no point. Which is very valid and wise. 

It’s such an interesting conversation, because it’s the first time he hasn’t made breaking his oath into a silly lore moment. It’s really settling into being a real part of him. He’s being honest about what fighting would actually do.

10:36:00 talks to jumper about his pacifism and their parallels. He tells her about how he knows he’ll get too invested and he wont want to hold back. As opposed to being unable. 

7/24/24 

53:10 Zam goes to the trial chambers again “dude wait these slimes have strength, are they gonna kill me? Dude I wanted to feel something but now I’m just not feeling anything actually. I was, I was, I was expecting more of a challenge”

7/25/24 day 1 peace trials

16:30 “do you think SB737 is going to kill me if he finds me? His layer’s off, I think he ran away from spawn after that one. I could see him trying though. I’ve lowkey, dude, lowkey i've been wishing someone would kill me, unfortunately I did starve to death, so now I don’t wish someone would kill me anymore. But like, it’s just been sooo peaceful, building these past few days you know? Like i haven’t ran into any kind of metal peril in soooo long like that’s crazy you know. It’s been a hot minute.”

First time he talks about wanting to be chased. 

37:00 annoyed about SB butting him in D teir for how easy he would be killed.  “‘zam is the most aggressive pacifist’ yea! Cause I mean how else am I supposed to let my anger out other than with my words. I still have emotions. They're still there” 

7/29/24 

1:07:24 still ignoring Bacon “If I’m gonna be a pacifist and not kill people, I should be able to hold a grudge somehow” “my only fighting method” 

Plotting the shift in zam’s mindset is like making a color spectrum and it’s just ever so slightly gradient-ed and before you know it it’s just all red.

8/17/24 

58:00  MANE: “but think about how many hearts I’ve given you before Zam”  ASH: “WAIT. ZAm is accepting hearts from people That Kill? That’s not very peaceful of you zam. That goes against your oath. You’re just accepting heart that has, that puts blood on your hands. I’m not even joking about this” ZAM: “I-, I don’t. I don’t think it does.” ASH: “You’re benefiting from the spoils of the death that you claim to be so against”  Zam jumps away from the conversation at the same time. nervously? 

ZAM: “[calmly] if kills have already happened what am I supposed to do to stop it. I only care about myself not killing people” [parkouring over to the roof of the house] ASH: “You literally” ZAM: “not other people. The server can do whatever the fuck it wants. I don’t care” PANGI” aaahhhhh” ASH: “That’s the most. That’s the most selfish view” 

ZAM: “I learned from you! The best side to play is all sides, right? That’s what you said [...] hypocrytical as fuck” ASH: “I mean, I’m not claiming to be any good person, I’m just saying your whole oath and code of honor is” ZAM: “I’m not either. I’m trying to be a good person but, hey” PANGI: “You’re doing a really bad job I can tell you that, Zam” ZAM: “yea. [swings around to look at pangi] coming from you is crazy” 

1:03:00 “‘you’ve only done build commissions for incredibly violent people huh’ (arch) that is something to consider huh, am I [sharp breath in] let me put on the lore music hold on. Am I. and I, I don’t think I’m the worst person to- okay. No. you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because there are worse people on this server. So I’m not that bad by comparison [...] You know I’m doing better than I did last season [...] So I’m okay. I’m happy with my choices I feel like. I dunno. I mean like gaining, gaining hearts is not the worst thing in the world, it’s kind of like the point of the server is it not? I dunno. Hmmm ‘i mean violent people are the ones who have the hearts’ (citrus) exactly! Yea, my only, the only people I CAN do business with is the violent people”

“But by taking hearts from them am I not encouraging them to kill more? Yea, that’s something to consider as well, you know? Cause, but it’s like. Ugggghhh let me read through the oath again. ‘Are they killing other violent people or innocents’ (arch) that’s true! I mean. They kill innocents when they feel like killing innocents it depends on the person i’m dealing with. [...]  I can’t control what other people do. It’s not selfish [heavy emphasis. Meaning ashsawg’s comment] it’s just like, me controlling what I can control. You can only control, you should only worry about what you can control, and what I can control is limiting myself.”

“I mean shit. What do I even want these hearts for” 

“‘you got one kill’ ‘you killed planet’ okay okay okay you killed planet okay. I hate how many people are talking about that. [..]  ‘YOU CANNOT DENY IT ZAM’ yes I fucking can! Yes I fucking can! Because I shot at him as a fucking like bit, because was obviously never to kill him, and he took off all his fucking armor. I’ve been over it! I have been over it like a million times it’s insane! I gave back the heart too like what. [opens statistics] Like it doesn’t even count. [closes statistics] It does not count. ‘You’re still killing’ [mocking] you're still killing. Okay actual like bot opinion. Bot take. Actual bot take is what this is. Insane. Like actually insane. The fact that people are still on this is craaaazy like actually crazy. ‘PANGI HASN’T’ oohhhh that’s what this is about. That’s what this is about. That’s what this is about, it’s about pangi, and and pangi being better than me okay.” 

“That’s what this is about. It means nothing to me. Means nothing to me. I don’t care. PANGI LITERALLY- okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. okay. Okay. [giggle laugh] pangi is a pacifist because he wants to be. But that’s like. Dude, woogie 1 for 1 took my thing. Dude, it’s crazy how many people are pacifist why did everyone like take my thing I mean like the whole point is proof of concept is prove that it’s possible, right, but like heh heh. It’s also lame that other people are taking my thing. [more deranged leaning giggles] ‘everybody wants to be princezam.’ (mer) oh my god. “

8/19/24 

~1:11:00 found Mapicc in his base. MAPICC: “and i just like, when are you gonna kill people” ZAM: “pppffff [mocking/flabberghasted] ‘when are you going to kill people?’ [reduced to laughter] MAPCIC: ”mmhmm” ZAM: “I’m not!” MAPICC: “see that's so weird.” [...] ZAM: “you start critting me out I don’t fight back” MAPICC: “actually?” ZAM: “no like genuinely, yea” MPAICC: “wait. Okay [pots up and takes all armor off but helmet and boots]” 

1:34:00 “a little terrifying i can’t lie. it’s weird. I feel like after an encounter like that I’d have a teammate to go talk to about this. But there really isn't anyone like that this time around”

8/22/24 

3:30 about the mapicc infestation “It was a very interesting fight. Honestly one of my favorite fights of the season” 

19:40 “ohh ‘kaboodle the pacifist’ (evi4) Wait kaboodle the pacifist? Are we fucking serious. Yo. okay. Okay.  i’m not even going to say nothing bro. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not even going to say nothing. I’m not. I’m not even [starting to laugh]  going to say nothing, bro [deep breath in and out] how come the one season. Like the one season, that i do it and it’s like interesting, everyone else decides to do it. In season 4 no one copied subz. Everyone made fun of him. But now, but now i do it and everyone wants to fucking be me okay. Okay. no okay. No okay. No like. Bro. [so sad] [...] ‘Everyone is just scared of the big pvp-ers’ (arch) that’s true. It’s not even. It’s not even like me. Oh my god. It’s not even because i’m cool. No it’s not even because of me, it’s just they don’t want to get killed”

27:00 kab asks if she can talk to zam and get advice “oh bet. Oh i love giving advice to my fellow pacifists. My favorite thing to do ever” /sarcastic

31:40 Woogie drops in “Zam is amazing at making people peaceful”

34:00 “if your goal is pacifism, then yea, he’s passing, but if your goal is to not get murdered by people then you probably shouldn’t be destroying other people’s builds, you know. That’s how you start wars” about pangi’s pacifism. 

Which is ALSO interesting. Because zam cares about not starting wars because he doesn't want to get emotionally pulled into a fight.

ZAM: “its like i’m in a skit. And like, as soon as i start questioning one character, and another character comes out and is like “ooh i’m also a remake of you!” what the fuck is happening” 

“You know what’s keeping me going is that i’ll probably outlast them” 

42:40 “is this a bad thing? Am i bad for not wanting them to be a, [laugh] to be peaceful like me? Is that a bad thing? I mean like, i feel like, uhg. But it’s like, they- [sharp breath in] what is- what have THEY gone through? To want this change” 

“Like kaboodle is doing it to save her skin. Woogie is doing it to save his skin, like. It’s very different i feel like. It’s just very different. I [whispers] oh  my god. [spins around] what did. What do they know! What do they know. Oh my god. Fuck damn. I think that’s why i’m upset. It’s not that like, [long pause] bruh.” 

“How can i rise about the rest. That's what i want to do now. That’s what I wanna do now. I want to rise above the rest. That’s what i’m thinking about right now, i’ll be honest. How do I [sharp breath in] [blows air out] like. This is-. [grumble] this is stupid. This is dumb. I shouldn't even think about this. You know what this is dumb."

48:00 “it’s not like a fun thing to do. Like. I- being a pacifist has been like, it’s it’s had its moments i guess. I dunno though. Definitely, i’ll admit it, not the most.. fun. But uh. Thats. that’s besides the point. That’s okay. That’s.. that’s fine [deep breath in and out]” 

“‘being a pacifist isn't for everyone, you have to truly believe in the rules and know your own limits so you can be pacifist’ (hexlarry) but like that’s the thing, do i even like, fully believe in it? Cause now i’m starting to question myself. I mean I did it not so that i could save my own skin. I did it so that i could, i dunno, just avoid repeating prior mistakes. And things like that. Sooo. because getting myself into fights would probably lead me down a very very dark path and i don't want to [sharp breath] i don't wanna do all that so by avoiding conflict at all costs I, I can, what’s it called, hmmm [spins around] fuck [princezam distress noises] [...] ‘has something changed’ i dunno. I’d hope not”

“‘it feels like they’re mocking you a little’ (evu) a little bit! I guess so. That’s kind of true as well honestly. I dunno. Hmmm, it’s very. Very interesting. Very interesting turn of events. I dunno. It’s not that i feel like it’s my thing. I feel like everyone should be allowed to do it, it just feels like the way that they’re doing it kind of is like, i guess it is, i dunno. It’s a little bit like.. Hmm yea ‘it’s an easy way out to them’ (arch) to them, to them it doesn't have any of the same significance it does to me. They're doing it because they want to live longer, they want to hold onto their hearts longer, i’m doing it because I like- i essentially need to- ugh. I dunno. I’m doing it- hrmmm. No, i’m doing it because… Because i want to. Because I want to. I want to. It’s my decision. I want to do it. I dunno [jumps around thinking for a while]” 

The last part is said in the same tone he used during the Abyss arc when his team wasn't logging on to help him.

“It’s not about what other people have done though. It’s about me upholding an oath i guess. Me.. avoiding [giggle] repeating mistakes and stuff. Umm. i dunno ‘it’s a conflict with myself’ (mer) exactly. It’s entirely. Entirely within me. And that was a situation that, admittedly, I had control over. I could have just not shot my bow at him. It’s a lesson learned i guess. But. I dunno. I- I just hate it. I hate it so much because that was not meant to happen at all. Like. it’s ridiculous. Its just ridiculous i feel like. I dunno. ‘Bro is still talking about this’ yea because I care about it.”

8/23/24

5:38:00  WEMMBU: “you’re profiting off the economy of people being murdered” ZAM: “I don’t know if that’s true at all even. That’s just. [trying to talk while wemmbu is talking over him] Anyone who lives on this server is profiting off the economy bro. I don't know what you’re talking about. [...] That that’s like breathing air on this server is benefitting form the economy bro” WEMMBU: “and you’re the one that’s saying you’re and innocent soul bruh” ZAM: “i’m, somewhat innocent. I’m innocent to the point where I won’t lure someone to spawn so you guys can kill them. That's how innocent I am” WEMMBU: “wah wahh wah” 

And he leaves the group

ZAM: “Get me the fuck out of here. I simply participate in society. All i do is live and breathe air and try to live an honest to god living.”

~5:51:00 “‘Oh so you agree you’d be responsible in that scenario’ (arch) yea! If he’s going out of his way to kill people For That [the build he wanted to commission], like to pay For That, I feel like yea, I feel like then I’m definitely responsible. [...] But mane, flame, mapicc, they already have the hearts, I know they withdrew them from their hotbar, they did in front of me, it did the sound. So, yea. And flame just had a heart bank that he went and grabbed. So. yea no, those hearts were already acquired. They were, like, those kills happened, it’s over. It’s good.” 

8/24/24

2:13:00 “that was interesting. What a day. I almost hopped into a fight. Probably wont do it again, that was a one time offer. But. i dunno. I was willing to die for a cause. I wasn’t going to hit him.” 

“Maybe i faltered. Did I falter? By willing to fight? I wouldn’t hit him. I don’t think. Maybe I’d hit him. I don’t- [scoff] would it be fine as long as i don't kill him?” “it’s my rules” 

“Yea mapicc did get really excited when i mentioned pvp. That was really interesting. That was cool. I do have no critting yea. Hmmm. i dunno. I did just want to support my friend flame ‘you're just helping out a friend i think thats in the servers best interests’ (arch) that’s true. Yea. if i, i dunno, cause like the main goal is to just work in the server’s best interests. And i guess in that situation that, specific, little situation, fighting flame was actually in everyone, everyone who’s online’s best interests. Ironically. So yea. Despite it normally being the wrong answer, violence was kind of the answer to fixing that problem there. ” 

2:18:00  “I’m worried though. Like I feel like the lack of violence encourages me to like, i dunno” 

“I think people should be more violent, i think that’s fair, that’s what this server is about. I haven't changed my stance on that, the server is about killing people. It’s not about [giggle] the atrocities I’ve committed, that’s for sure” 

“‘That’s not very pacifist I mean’ like that’s whatever, it’s princezam then. It doesn’t matter. Pacifist is just the moniker I chose, but if it’s not fitting it’s not fitting. I’m doing whatever I believe” 

“‘the blowing up builds and killing weaklings was your more problem. not your violence inherently’ (arch) exactly. And unfortunately I feel like with any sort of violence [tsht] unfortunately all paths lead to that road. You know? Everything will just eventually get me there. I think it’s better to swear it off, you know. It’s just, It’s just for the better”

Flame blows up spawn.

2:52:00 “And my heart count too. I was trying to get to 20 but like - what does that even do, what is that even good for, if i can't do anythin- if i’m powerless to stuff like this, if i’m powerless to this. This. Like what’s the point, even like what’s-... I feel like everything I’ve done is just like actually completely futile now. Like, none of it matters. NONE of it matters, not even a little, if other people are just going to take up the mantle. What like, what’s the POINT?... I don't get it. I mean holding out, not giving in, despite all of this, would prove me as a way stronger player than him, but WHAT GOOD DOES THAT ACCOMPLISH. SO WHAT?! Like, he’s just going to do this again, like why does it matter? Why does it even matter? What the- what does moral highground get me? What does moral high ground even get me. Why did i think this was even a good idea even a little bit, [so loud] OH MY GOD. [pause] ‘It doesn't even mean anything to anyone but me’ (arch) exactly. This. oh my god. It’s not just to myself though (arch) it’s ahhh Fuck. It’s supposed to make up for everything I did- For just everything I did in general really. That’s what it’s supposed to be, but, like ah, does anyone care really? Does anyone care? Other than me? At this point I don't think so. There’s bigger problems. ‘Spawn looked the best this season’ it did. It really did. It really really did. It really did. [tabs out for a long time, just silent] i can't’ believe this. I can’t believe this. [sigh] oh my god. [leaning head back] Dude. and like. Oh my god. Yea no one is going to do anything that’s true. The fact of the matter is [laughing as talking] no one is going to do anything about this. Because no one cares. And that’s what he’s going to realize. [...] That’s all fine to me, it doesn't matter. It doesn’t matter. This is definitely the furthest I’ve wavered, on this path of mine. Dear god. [blows out breath] and i was the only one here to do anything about it oh my god [silence] ‘they did call me ground zero’ [puts head in hands while reading it] is it my fault? Is it my- wait you’re right. [breathing heavily] it kind of in a, in a weird, fucked up twisted way, it kind of is my fault. Because my stupid pacifism stuff it it spiraled out of control and got to woogie, got to pangi, it’s it’s like [grrr grumble] (all of chat is screaming that it isn't his fault.) I, oh my god. Oh my god. Dude like. I actually feel so dumb. I feel like I’ve wasted the past month or two. I’ve actually just feel like I’ve been wasting my time. Like, like none of that matters. Actually none of that matters, I feel like, anymore. And like, because I did all that, everyone else copied me. Everyone copied me, they were right! No, they were right. That’s the messed up part of this, is that they’re Right. And that they probably will get a fight out of this, that’s the Fucked up part of this” 

3:04:00 “If I fight them I give them exactly what they want. It’s so fucked up. There’s no, there's no winning option here. There’s nothing I can do to win” 

Realizes he can just rebuild. Rejuvenated in one second flat. 

“Do I just keep rebuilding it over and over? [...]  But I don’t care! I’m not giving up. I don't care, I don't care!” “this is literally what I do. What am I tripping for? This is literally what I do”

3:35:30 “I feel like most people would not have the mental fortitude to experience what I just experienced and then Not Fight. Like that is an absurd thing to do. But it’s a me thing to do. So” 

3:37:00 “i know i don't have all of my screws together, but i definitely, i think i could win a battle of mental fortitude if I wanted”

Talks to everyone and forms Gaia’s Hand

5:46:00 wrapping up stream along “dude I know like, i’m real confident and real happy and shit, but I , I am terrified. I am terrified [stares into a big cave thinking] i dunno. I'm not gonna second guess myself but. It’s just- it’s a scary battle. It’s a very scary battle. I dunno”

“Mean, I’m not alone. That's true. That definitely helps [...] I feel like the last time I spent a lot of time repairing spawn it didn't end too well. Lowkey that’s when everything went horribly wrong, actually. i feel like it’s just been downhill since there.”

“I am doing this to spite flame, but at the same time the thing I care about the most is just having the server where spawn can't just get destroyed. I dunno. That’s what I care about the most”

5:53:40 “‘you and your attachments to spawn’ (seri) [wistful] it’s, it’s the heart of the server. It’s the heart of the server. And, i dunno, I can’t, i can’t help myself but protect it. In every way that I can. I dunno. It’s just in my nature. Which is ironic, considering the atrocities I’ve committed.” 

8/29/24

44:30 “support the people trying to ban them and the builds won’t get destroyed anymore’ (chips) that’s true. But do the ends justify the means? Like sure I will get spawn builds being safe, but I’m, I also am taking some part in someone getting banned off the server. which, i dunno. I feel like i don't want to be a part of” 

45:00 “Is it for the greater good, or it for my greater good. It has to be objective, it can’t be a skewed biased point of view” 

1:05:20 “i can only control myself, and only the small few who have joined me” “kaboodle and woogie” “Ironically they’re truly the only ones who are part of gaia’s hand”

Week long break for MMCR

9/9/24

11:40 ZAM: “I’ve kind of realigned my look on the server [...] Everyone’s goal goes back to, like, killing. So I feel like if I help anyone I’m like sort of contributing to the violence on the server, which is something I- which I can’t prevent obviously but it’s not also something I’d like to contribute to. The whole point is I don't want to contribute to violence and you know, kill people I guess. I dunno” 

How far princezam has come. It was never about actual pacifism… except now it is. He truly is a pacifist now. He used to be a bad pacifist and now he’s just a pacifist for real. How interesting. 

19:00 “That’s just the spite and hatred in my heart. I’m full of hatred recently, that’s something i’ve noticed as well. Definitely something i’ve noticed” 

44:00 “I feel like nothing accomplishes anything. I feel like anything I would do would just make things worse. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me though. Maybe that's just me and the way I feel. I dunno” 

“I just want to win. You know? But how do I go about that even? There’s nothing to win against."

~1:27:00 “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” “interesting phrase considering the circumstance I’m in. [...] yea i mean violence is good to those who love it. I’m just unfortunately not one of those people. At least at the moment. [pause] Well I wouldn't say at the moment actually. I would say I’m not one of those people. For sure. Used to be. Not anymore.” 

1:53:00  “when i think of goals, the first thing that comes to mind is like, laying in a field of flowers. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I want to do. I dunno”

9/11/24

~40:00 “it makes me question what my path is, cause i’m not, i’m not i’m not i’m not  i’m not a killer or anything at least i don't want to kill anyone, i don't want to be doing that. Soo where does that leave me?  What am I gonna do, what am I princezam gonna do.” 

[nylongenesis]

Here’s the thing about Timothy stoker

here it is the tim post

People who say tim is an asshole are partially correct.

People who say tim is ‘toxic’ are INCORRECT.

I am very strongly about this because. listen to me. okay.

SPOILERS UP TO TMA SEASON 3 AHEAD

Imagine BEING timothy stoker. After whats probaboy the secondmost traumatizing experience of your life in which you almost die if not by the worms then by the MEDICAL EMERGENCY (respiratory acidosis is a medical emergency :3) your body was put into- plagued with nightmares and the pain of your body being covered in holes and your medical issues, you come back to the archives expecting to see your best friend, That will make it all better. It’ll be so worth it once you can see her again.

And then she acts so distant. And you dont know why.

And you have just lost your friendship. The one that’s kept you going this whole time. The one you were starting to believe might have been unbreakable. And you Don’t. Know. Why.

Eventually after many failed attempts to reconnect, you resign yourself to the fact that she just got tired of you. That you were right this whole time. That she just pitied you. You still don’t know what you did wrong and it’s eating you alive, but she won’t tell you, so you have to settle with pretending to be glad that she’s at least alive, All while your boss is literally going insane and STALKING YOU???

Only to find out after a YEAR of believing you were just unlovable that this person? The person youve been trying to ‘reconnect’ with? That isnt your best friend, Your best friend dies and you never noticed. How could you not notice? But when you see the real picture of her she feels like a stranger and you realize you have no fucking escape from your horrible, unforgivable sin of forgetting your friend. Because no matter what you do, trying to look back at your memories, that *thing* is there instead. You can’t even enjoy your memories before she died.

So you sit there, alone and afraid. Angry, grieving, everything else. What are you supposed to do but make the thing that has haunted you since the disappearance of your Brother feel the kind of pain it is making you feel?

Tim isn’t toxic. Hell I wouldn’t even say he’s that much of an asshole.

He’s a hurt child.

Mentally, especially in season three, he’s having the equivalent of a child’s breakdown. The kind they have when they don’t know how to express the emotions they’re feeling. These emotions- this grief, this anger, this pain- it’s so big, it’s so much, and he feels so small, so incapable and weak, and he cannot properly handle it. He cannot cope. Especially since he’s still somewhat trapped in who he was when his brother was taken.

Now im not saying the way he went about this is at all great, but yknow. Everyone forgives reactions to trauma until they’re personally inconvenient or ugly.

Tim lost everything, and honestly i would be pretty damn similar if I was in his position! That’s DEVASTATING.

In the end, there’s such a horrible tragedy to his entire character that goes almost entirely unnoticed unless you’re like me and you’re insane and overanalyze someone based on one word in an extra audio thats not in the podcast.

Anyways, that’s why I love Tim.

[loversj0y]

loves me (like im brand new)

TW: this fic deals with sensitive topics, specifically referencing sexual assault, as well as the recovery process, including mentions of flashbacks and references to dissociation. read at your own discretion

hey so this is entirely self-indulgent. ive been having a rough week (and im sure based on the content you could probably understand why) so yeah, it's not much. but take this as i try to cope (and finish the ttds au)

title is taken from call it what you want by taylor swift

wilbur soot x gn! reader

word count: 1.9k

The floor of the bathtub seemed to become your best friend during trying times. There was something about it that just became comforting when you felt like reaching out to anyone wouldn’t help. And it would help to reach out, but you couldn’t help preferring to spill your secrets to the bathroom floor.

It was too late at night for most people to be taking a shower, and you knew that. You’d been in here god knows how long, your phone left forgotten in your bedroom. The water was turned as hot as it would go, your skin left a blazing red in response. You didn’t know what triggered the episode, maybe the date was a little too close to the anniversary, or maybe you’d thought for a second that you saw the guy who assaulted you a few years back. In reality, it was a combination, you were always much more aware of your trauma this time of year, when memories of abuse and unmeaningful “i love yous” went rampant in your brain. There wasn’t much you felt you could do at times like this. The water helped, though. It hurt slightly,  but the burn of the water was stronger than the memory of his hands on you. Everytime you did this, you hoped the water would allow you to scrub the hands off of you, but each time you could never feel clean. Your body wouldn’t feel like yours fully. You tried to stave off flashbacks and memories, forcing yourself to be grounded by focusing on tiny details in your apartment’s bathroom, the grout of the tile, the stains at the bottom of the shower curtain, the way the lightbulb would occasionally flicker. That lightbulb usually annoyed you, but now, you felt thankful for it as it’s random flicker would pull you out of your thoughts when you slipped into them.

You wanted to leave the shower, part of you wanting to go curl up in bed and put on so many layers until you felt like your body didn’t exist. But any attempts at moving made your brain yell at you once more, leaving you stuck in place.

A knock on the door startled you, your heart rate spiking, you didn’t have roommates, who-.

You question was cut off before you could even finish it.

“Darling?! Are you in there?” Wilbur, your boyfriend, sounded alarmed. He wasn’t supposed to stop by tonight, he was supposed to go hang out with Tommy, so why was he here?

“Wilbur?”

He seemed to let out a relieved sigh. “Are you alright? Can I come in?”

“I- yeah, you can come in,” you spoke, just loud enough for him to hear. He opened the door, quickly moving over to where you were, kneeling down next to the shower. 

“What are you doing here, Wilbur?” I asked softly.

“You weren’t answering, I got scared.”

“I told you I was going to take a shower, didn’t I?”

“Darling, that was almost four hours ago,” He frowned, reaching a hand into the water to fix your hair, but pulling back once he felt the temperature. He looked at you, getting a better look now that some of the steam had left the bathroom. “Love, your skin is burning red, that cannot feel good. Come on, let’s get you out of there.”

You groaned lightly, leaning your head against the side of the tub, “I can’t.”

“What do you mean, love?”

“I just- I can’t, I feel…” trapped, haunted, exhausted, stuck, “frozen.”

He nodded, even though he didn’t fully understand. “Are you okay with me touching you?”

You thought about it for a moment. Anyone else and it would’ve been a no, anyone else and it would’ve set your brain into overdrive, but Wilbur never made you feel anything but safe and loved. You nodded after a moment.

He stood, leaning forward and turning off the shower. He got into the tub behind you, carefully lifting you and helping you stand. 

“You’re gonna get wet,” you complained softly.

He just shrugged, “I don’t mind. I’m sure I’ve left enough clothes here that I can find something if it bothers me.” 

You sniffled a bit and nodded. He carefully got you out of the tub, grabbing your towel and wrapping it around you gently. He pressed a gentle kiss to your head. 

“Let me grab your pajamas, okay?” He went to grab them, but you reached a hand out and stopped him.

“Wait, I-” you paused, looking down a bit shyly, “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He gave you an encouraging smile, nodding, “That’s alright. I’ll stay with you until you’re dry, and then we’ll go together. Sounds good?” 

You nodded softly at him, taking a seat on top of the closed toilet seat cover. You looked down at his jumper, “Sorry again about your jumper.”

He shrugged, pulling the jumper off and tossing it out of the bathroom, wearing a simple white shirt underneath, “Doesn’t matter. Not as much as you do.” 

You looked at the ground after he spoke. You didn’t feel like you mattered right now. It had nothing to do with your boyfriend, he was being so incredibly kind, and you couldn’t ask for anything better. But your head fought back and forth between feeling Wilbur’s love and feeling like you were back in that room from so many years ago. You pulled the towel tighter around yourself, and it was like you could feel Wilbur’s frown. He knew you too well, knowing your tells whenever you retreated into your own head. 

“Darling, look at me,” He spoke softly, kneeling down in front of you. 

You slowly looked up at him, met with nothing but kindness in his gaze. 

“There you are,” he smiled softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head violently, “No- I… not now.” 

He nodded, rubbing your back gently, “That’s alright. Are you ready to get dressed?”

You nodded, and he carefully leaned down to pick you up, walking to your closet. He set you down once you were there, keeping his hand at your back. He looked around for a moment before grabbing one of his sweaters and a pair of old sweatpants, “Here.”

You took them, and he helped you get dressed, the both of you taking your time. Once you were dressed, he took your hand, walking you to bed. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” He asked softly as you sat down on the bed. 

“Could you hand me my water bottle?” You asked softly, pointing at the bottle sitting on your desk. He did so quickly, and you drank from it quickly before setting it on your nightstand. 

You didn’t quite know how to get the words out to ask him the next part, so you just patted the bed. He understood, sitting against the headboard. You came over, laying down against him gently, and his arms were quick to fall around you, holding you close. 

He kissed the top of your head, humming a soft tune. Once you’d relaxed enough, you spoke quietly. 

“I thought you were going to Tommy’s tonight?”

He shrugged, “You weren’t responding, so I got worried. His girlfriend is there anyways, so he wouldn’t notice if I was there or not anyway.”

“Still, you didn’t have to come here,” you spoke softly, and he scoffed. 

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.”

You nodded, burying your face against him lightly. You wanted to tell him what happened, it just took a few minutes to actually get the words out. “Today sucked.” You spoke quietly, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I just… it’s around this time a few years ago that I was- I,” it hurt to say, and Wilbur knew, piping up softly, “I know.”

You nodded once more, continuing, “it’s just… it feels so much more real around now, and so I just feel so much more sensitive to everything. The tiniest thing sets me off into a flashback, and it’s like I can still feel those hands on me sometimes, and it’s just- it’s overwhelming.” You sniffled softly, “The hot water helps, I can feel it more than the stupid fucking hands, but I just- I’ve rubbed my skin raw so many times, and I can still feel it. I’ve never felt clean since then, but it gets so much worse around this time, and I just can’t help but feel gross,” you sobbed softly, burying your face further against his chest. 

Wilbur held you close, rubbing your back gently, “I don’t think you’re gross.” He spoke, “I know that it might not mean much coming from me, but I don’t think you’re gross, or unclean, or anything like that. I think you went through something shitty, and that you survived. And I also know that I adore you, and I adore learning more about you. Everything about you is new to me. Each piece makes you up, and I feel honored to learn about all of it, even if it feels like a curse, because I know that it all brought you to me, the same way I know the stuff I went through brought me to you.”

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, “Thank you,” You whispered. It meant more than he’d probably ever know to hear him describe you as new. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead gently. “Of course, love. Your past is not you, it’s like a piece of clay, you know? You can’t change it fundamentally, but you can change how it looks and how you use it. It doesn’t define you, it just makes up part of you.”

You sighed softly, “I wish it didn’t, though. I’d rather it have never happened.”

He frowned, “I understand. If I could change the past, I would, just for you. But since I can’t, I’ll do anything you need me to because I want to make sure you are okay. It’s what I’m here for.” 

You nodded, and he carefully wiped at your eyes. After a moment of trying to calm your tears, you, strangely enough, started laughing.

Wilbur smiled, giving you an incredulous look. “What is it?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “Just feel a bit stupid.”

“Why?”

“For not telling you earlier. I’ve felt like shit since like 2P.M., I just didn’t want you to worry”

He smiled, brushing a bit of your hair back, “Darling, I’m constantly worrying about you. I mean this lovingly when I say you stress me out every day, especially when you text me in the middle of the night to show me the bugs you see when you walk around town at night.”

“It’s always fun doing that, though. Plus, you know I’m always heading to see you.”

He flushed a bit, chuckling softly, “I know. But it does make me worry.” 

You smiled, gently taking his hand in yours. “Thank you for showing up.” 

He squeezed your hand gently, “Of course. I’ll always show up for you, darling.” 

You closed your eyes, curling into his side and yawning out slowly. The dark feeling in your chest was still there, but it felt smaller with Wilbur around. It was much more bearable with him there. 

“Goodnight, love,” He gently pecked your lips, holding you lightly. 

“Goodnight, Wilbur.” With him by your side, everything felt lighter. You could breathe, with him by your side, and you were able to fall into a quiet slumber.

[lowkeyrobin]

hii! i LOVE ur wirting so i was wondering if i could request a niko sasaki x reader? (fem or gender neutral) i dont really have a plot in my head but maybe reader is a ghost that kinda lives in/around jennys shop and after the sprite incident niko and reader meet?? i dont really know but im sure whatever you write will be AMAZING!!

ooo okay okay, I can try for you! ; so sorry if this took forever to post because I put this at the bottom of my priorities til i got an idea lol ; but thank you!! I appreciate it <3 ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also I'm so sorry this is highkey ASS I had zero idea what to do here ughhudhejwjwj

NIKO SASAKI ; a little haunting, solved

summary ; after niko's run in with near death, she can finally meet the ghost who's been haunting her apartment

warnings ; language

word count ; 511

masterlist

Niko had been hearing weird noises around her rented apartment room for months now. She always shoved it off, not really believing in ghosts, thinking it was just typical building noises. That mindset stood until mangas started falling from her shelves, and her laptop and phone would often glitch or turn off randomly.

She picks up a pile of mangas from her floor after they'd mysteriously been knocked off her desk. She cautiously stands back up, looking around the room. Her straight, black hair frames her face as she looks from one side of the room to the other.

"Hello?"

A knocking can be heard, coming from one of the windows beside her bed. She jumps.

"Is someone here?"

She feels a gust of cold air wash against her face for a moment. Shivers trail up her spine.

She quickly sets her mangas down, running downstairs to go to Jenny. Bothering her during work wasn't a great idea, but she didn't want to be upstairs right now.

'House noises,' Jenny said.

Yeah, totally house noises.

Niko rests on her bed, laptop on her lap, a bowl of popcorn beside her as she watches some ghost movie. The moon rests full in the night sky outside, a lamp illuminating the room.

As her movie plays, creeping up on a jumpscare, the screen glitches, stopping the movie abruptly, Niko being met with a black screen. She clicks the space bar, then moves her index and middle finger to the mouse pad, trying to click around to see if the screen would light back up.

The screen turns back onto a paused frame of the upcoming jumpscare, quickly scaring Niko. She sighs, guessing her laptop had glitched, and she'd paused right as the jumpscare was up in the screen due to her spam clicking space and clicking around the screen. She didn't know how to explain the muted audio. Maybe it was just a part of the glitching.

Though, this was weird, her laptop has never glitched before...

After her run-in with death, aka with sprites in her brain that wanted to implode her, she could actually confirm that Crystal's invisible friends were real, whom she'd begun to believe were real after time. Surprisingly, the ghost who'd she'd been suspecting that haunted her apartment also turned out to be real.

"Wait... are you the ghost knocking over my books and messing with my laptop?"

Charles and Edwin quickly turn around, seeing you stand behind them with a humorous smile. They'd certainly never seen you before.

"Maybe" you shrug. "What of it?"

"Were you trying to scare me?"

"Not really" you reply. "I was trying to get your attention and communicate, mostly. I took on that you couldn't see me from the jump. It's just lonely haunting this place with no one to talk to"

Edwin raises an eyebrow. "We've been here, Crystal has been here."

You look off to the side, shrugging. "I'm a little shy."

Niko smiles. "Do you wanna watch a movie with me?"

You smile. "Sure. Can we watch that one that had that scary nun?"

"Yeah!"

[lauriegraham01]

you're still around | natasha romanoff

pairings: natasha romanoff x gn!reader (one instance where it can be interpreted as fem!reader)

summary: "i know better but i still feel you all around." you never envisioned a life spent with natasha, so what do you do now that the aftershocks of her death has uprooted your life?

wc: 2.5k

a/n: I cannot speak of my grief over natasha, so enjoy this instead! + this is me cleaning out my drafts so im sorry if quality is trash </3

You never loved the beach. You never loved the beach until you met her.

Having been assigned on a mission together in Los Angeles, you found yourself on the sand far more times than you cared for.

"Oh, you're being ridiculous it's not that bad."

"I'd rather die."

Even behind her tinted aviators, there was no denying that signature playful glint shinning in her eyes. She loved how you had a flair for the dramatics, always teasing how she's the only one who could ever put up with it.

"Look, it's only for a couple of hours until we make sure that Stavros meets his guys here."

"And not a second more."

Hours slipped away as you two soaked up the sun. You could live in this moment forever. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the ferocity of your heart beating in your chest. You were full of love, consumed by it. Yet how could you not.

The way her sun-kissed skin seemed to soak up the sun, how her hair danced in the gentle ocean breeze, and how peaceful she looked as she she slept in the sand.

You feared the inevitable- dreaded it even. Yet lying next to her, unable to look away, you knew it was too late.

Your bond only continued to grow, spending more time both on and off the clock. Using any excuse to be near each other in hopes of learning something new, even though that seemed impossible. Natasha was the first person you felt like you could be completely open and honest with. You were surprised yet relieved when she told you she felt the same way.

Things in those days were still fresh, you both were equally fully of worry and reservation. The fear of ruining an already incredible bond preventing either of you from pursuing something greater. There was a silent understanding of this- despite the circumstance, you and Natasha continued on as you knew best. Pushing each other to be greater, being each others cheerleader, and truly wanting the best for each other after seeing the potential you both possessed.

Each moment shared together played on repeat in your mind until you could see her again. Late nights spent sparring in the gym, pool games at dive bars, and endless romcom movie marathons that only were only respected by Wanda.

The endless messages exchanged during meeting whenever Steve would go on forever. The getaways spent upstate thanks to Natasha swiping the keys to one of Tony's many many cars. The late night spent revealing sins to each others, and the darkest memories and fears that haunted us. The comfort that lasted till morning when you awoke to another sunrise wrapped in each other's arms. Each moment spent with her was truly magical.

You felt yourself falling deeper in love with Natasha with each passing day. You had reached a point where you couldn't remember life without her by your side, and the thought of having to go back to that terrified you both.

"I don't want this to be what splits us." Running your hands over your face, a tired sigh escaped your lips. The stress of the Sokovia Accords had everyone on edge and you and Natasha were no exception.

"I don't see why it has to," Natasha exaggerated. Her patience growing thinner after the countless back and forth and still not seeing eye to eye.

"You know why," you objected sharply. "it's not right, Nat. You know that." Your eyes met her with an unwavering look of defiance. There was no swaying you to change your mind. She always knew you were so stubborn.

"I know," she admitted.

"Then why are you signing?!" Throwing your hands in frustration you don't immediately notice the boom in your voice as you spoke.

It wasn't until Natasha swallowed thickly before averting her gaze towards the ground that you realized your mistake. Your shoulders slump as you let out a tired sigh. You felt that you were at a crossroads, and there was no right answer in which way you moved.

"I want us to stay together, it doesn't matter how," she emphasized, the edge in her voice unmistaken as she enunciated each word. Green eyes looked up at me through silky lashes, behind a determined look I saw the sadness in the mist of green eyes.

In that moment you felt all your fears cement into reality. You knew there was no way both of you could win and your heart broke as you both pledged your allegiance to opposing sides of another mans war.

Looking up at her you saw the same exact heartbreak in her eyes. You reached your breaking point, as the room seemed to close in you bolted out of your seat and aimed for the door. As your hand squeezed the handle, you hesitated- for a brief second. You didn't want to walk out on her, it was the last thing you ever though of doing.

Sparing her a final look, you see the stoic expression on her face. You always knew she was stubborn, but the hardened expression on her face only further proved what you already knew. There was no changing her mind, just as much as there wasn't changing any yours.

"It does to me."

You fought on opposing sides of a pointless war. When the dust settled, there was no morning glory to be found in its aftermath. Just bitter resentment and heartache as the family you've fought beside for years was no more.

Now considered an enemy of the state, you fled the country, not knowing if you would ever come back. By the time Steve had told you how Natasha helped him and Bucky flee, it was already too late. You were thousands of miles away and burned too many bridges that could never be crossed over again.

You thought about writing, but what could you say? Too much was said and done last, you didn't think there was ever coming back from that. You spent the next two years trying to erase the memory of her. Proving quite difficult as you saw her in everything, her love still being the fire that kept you warm even miles away.

You dreamt of a time where you would come face to face with her again. You've rehearsed the apologies you would say and the confessions you would lay bare if you ever were to see her face again. Yet all that flew out of the window as she stood in front of you, finding you amidst the crowded market square.

"Natasha?" Despite her hair now blonde and much shorter, you still could recognize her face in any crowd.

"Just shut up." She said, catching you off guard.

Taken aback, you sighed deeply as you gave her your full attention. Taking in her full appearance, you note her lose tank and green skirt that flowed with the summers breeze. You don't think you've ever seen her in something that colorful. Despite all the changes, she's still Natasha. You still saw the girl you fell in love with all those years ago on that beach.

The crease between her eyebrow reveals how Natasha seemed deep in thought. Hesitant to speak what's on her mind as she darted between your eyes, weighing her options.

"I never wanted to rely on anyone for anything," she began. "I thought that if I could be independent and alone then I could avoid the pain that comes from losing people."

Fidgeting with her fingers and from the bite marks on her lip, you sensed the urgency behind her words.

"I don't wanna live like that anymore," she confessed urgently. As if she could no longer bear having such a brilliant truth hidden for a second longer. "I love you y/n. I think I have for a long time now but I was just too scared to admit it- and I know things are complicated but i'm ready for this. I want this. I want us-" Stopping suddenly, feeling breathless the longer she looked in your eyes. "You. I want you."

"I love you."

Time seemed to slow down in that moment. The sound of thousands of people packed in the Brazilian market faded to nothing as you looked at her, her words echoing in your head. If Nat had felt even an ounce of relief from getting the truth of her chest, her face didn't show it. She had this look on her face, you studied for it moment before you realized what it was- fear.

She thought you would walk away. That you would scoff at her confession, see through her for what she thought she was, flawed.

She couldn't have been farther from truth. Her eyebrows furrowed in mix of shock and confusion when she felt a finger tilting her chin upward. Swallowing thickly, she awaited cruel rejection. However, seeing the adoration behind your eyes, she let herself believe that maybe there was some room for redemption. The corner of her lip curled upwards before the both of broke into breathless laughs, the twinkle in her eyes making your heart soar as it sang Natasha's name.

"I love you too."

After that, you never knew a life without Natasha. Having fought in Wakanda and losing so much during The Blip, you two became each other's anchor.

Never wanting to be away from her again, you moved back to New York. You helped direct the remaining Avengers as missions were still executed and help was needed everywhere. Despite the darkness that the world was wrapped up in, you and Natasha were each other's lighthouse, guiding each other back to shore.

It wasn't until Scott came barging on the compounds door and the the rest of the team got together for the time heist that hope would shine for the first time in a long time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come instead," you lowly ask as you and the rest of the team prepare for the time heist.

"I'm gonna pretend to not be offended by that." Clint chimed in as he made his way past us.

"Shut up Barty, please!" He throws his hands up in surrender as he's met by your annoyed gaze. You don't miss hearing Bruce chuckle as he typed away on the control panels.

Facing Natasha again, you're met with her amused smile as she looked up at you.

"I promise I'll be fine," she insisted. "Clint's got my back-right Barty?!"

Clint just grunts in acknowledgment.

"Trust me?" Raising her eyebrows as she lifted her open palm toward you.

Taking her hand and turning it over, you placed a chaste kiss onto it.

"Damn right I do," you say, never breaking eye contact.

Not missing the way her cheeks flushed at the sudden gesture you bring her in and capture her lips in a soft kiss. Earning a wolf-whistle from Tony in the process.

As you all stood in a circle on the platform, ready to go back in time in hopes of bringing everyone back, your eyes meet Natasha's again. Heart fluttering as it did everytime you looked at her.

"See you in a minute." Her eyes glimmering as she smiled at you.

Those words replayed in your head in a constant loop for months. You never got to say goodbye, and that's what killed you the most.

You never were good with grief, and having lost so many people because of Thanos, you spiraled into a depression that lasted the better half of a year.

Yet when you were ready to face that grief, it was Yelena who was there for you. She was one of the few people around who understood what it meant to lose Natasha. To have known and loved her so intimately, and have that taken away.

Staring out into the same sea at the same beach where you first fell for your blue-jeaned baby, as comforting hand on your shoulder shakes you from your thoughts. Startled by the sudden presence your eyes look up frantically to meet with Yelena's concerning gaze.

"Hey," her voice soft, "you okay?"

"Hey-um, yeah, i'm fine really." You shake your head furiously as you blink away your tears. Meeting her eyes again, the love and sincerity that poured behind Yelena's eyes was enough to make the damn burst.

"No," you croak as a sob wracks itself out of your body. Engulfing you in her arms, you burrow your head in Yelena's shoulder as grief's uncharted weight washes over you.

"I know what she meant to you. She told me about a month after taking down the Red Room. I never would've taken her for a U-hual lesbian."

A laugh escapes your lips. Looking back on it, things did happen rather quickly. After taking down Dreykov, she felt a new found purpose in life, a need to reconnect with family and loved ones.

"Yeah, well it was a long time coming," you let out softly. You pull out of her arms, wiping away at your dried tears.

"Thank you, Yelena. I know what she meant to you too."

You don't miss the sadness that flickers in Yelena's eyes.

"She meant to look for you earlier. She told me about you while staying at one of Tony's safe house", you sigh reflecting on the confessions said that night. The fire and a shared bottle of whiskey having kept you both warm that night. "She never stopped thinking about you."

"I know," she affirms, voice shaky. "Thank you."

You offer her a soft smile, eyes crinkling as you giver her arm a reassuring squeeze. Yelena then locks arms with you, a sudden peace washing over you like the waves ashore you were watching.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Looking over at her, you note the blonde wisps of hair that moved with the wind.

"Are any of us?" She doubled back with a smirk, earning a chuckle from you.

A brief silence falls over you two. One full of reluctant acceptance as it is with sadness.

"I promised I wouldn't say goodbye." You barely heard her. You almost thought you hadn't from how low she spoke.

Looking back towards the water, if you didn't know any better you'd think she was still around. If you thought about it long enough, you could still make out Natasha's footprints scattered across the sand. Or how graceful she looked dancing in the sand.

You could hear the sweetness of her laughter as not even the call of the seagulls could sing a finer melody.

You can still feel the warmth of her pirate smile, shinning bright as she looked at you from over her shoulder.

As the wind picked up you closed your eyes and let the memories of your sweet summers spent with Natasha flash before you. If you didn't know any better, you'd think she was talking to you now. Through the way the wind echoed her whispers of "I love you."

Opening your eyes, the warmth and love of those memories still sprout inside you, even as your met with the sight of the beach's barren winter. She's still here, always with me.

"Maybe you don't have to."

You know better, but you still feel her all around.

[master-kohga-dating-sim]

aaaaaand since im thinking about this concept a ton now i had to write bart going through the kharaa mutations too and being horrified but still so optimistic about researching this new phenomenon. i love my boy here's his logs of him recording his disease

body horror warning obvs

Bart Torgal's Disease Research Log #1 So, uh... I didn't figure I'd be making another log. But I've never seen this happen in any other lifeforms here, so I couldn't resist the urge to document at least some of it. I had a brief brush with a ghost leviathan a few days back, it bit me pretty bad. Nothing life-threatening, though I did bleed a little. Seems like that must've done something, since the green pustules on my skin are starting to fade in that area. I took off the bandages to find that my skin is translucent. It's taken on a slight blue tint from the bioluminescence it's putting off. It doesn't really hurt, or even itch for that matter. In fact, it's weirdly numb. I can barely feel anything from my hips down. Other than that, I've noticed a few new pustules on my face. They're different, though- they look a bit more yellow than usual. The pustules usually don't have any nerve endings, but when I tried to remove these ones, they hurt like hell. I'm not sure if I should try harder or leave them alone to see what comes of it. It may have something to do with the developing protrusions on my arms and spine...

Bart Torgal's Disease Research Log #2 (laughter) I- I can breathe underwater without a mask now! I was horrified to discover these slits on my neck- five on each side, specifically; they lead directly to my trachea- but when I lost my regulator in a brief panic and my lungs flooded, nothing happened. I managed to drain it when I got back inside, definitely not a fun experience, but this is monumental! Think about it, no more worries about oxygen levels or gas narcosis... It does seem to function in the same way that real ghost leviathan gills do- ram ventilation, I need to constantly swim to breathe- but I have to admit that I've gotten a bit of fun from angling my seaglide in front of my mouth and letting the turbine push the water through my neck. Oh, uh, those pustules on my face. They're... eyes. Though it seems like they're amblyopic, at least for now. They don't exactly combine into binocular vision too well... I'd keep them closed for now, but I haven't gotten the hang of moving the new muscles yet. ...Any of the new muscles, really. (long pause) ...Maybe Father and Marguerit were luckier than I initially thought.

Bart Torgal's Disease Research Log #3 I don't know what's happening to me. I woke up to a crippling pain twisting my legs. They're... starting to connect to my tailbone, I think. I can't move them very far apart anymore. Everything below my ribs is blue and translucent. I can see my own guts and bones through my flesh, they're glowing orange and pulsating like worms. My arms have completely turned, too; I've only got four fingers left on each hand, plus the thumb. I wish it hurt. I wish I had a reason to be crying. But it doesn't, it's so infuriatingly numb. My nerves are barely still here, I can't even feel my voice in my throat. I'm not even sick anymore. How can I feel so alive and so dead at the same time? I can't handle this. All I can do is go to sleep and pray that it ends one day. Until then... well, there's always the water.

The idea is that Ryley gradually finds these logs and figures out he's still alive and that he's actually the weird creature that's been stalking him out of the corner of his eye :3 i made him a ghost leviathan because he's still in the crater and haunting it like a ghost

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ORACLE READINGS FOR SALE : ALL 20-25 DOLLAR READINGS NOW 10.99!

LETS GET IT!!!

ITS A GOOD WEEK AND IN ORDER TO KEEP THE GOOD VIBES GOING IM PUTTING MY READINGS ON SALE UP UNTIL MARCH 31ST!

SO HERE IS THE LIST OF ALL MY 20+ READINGS BELOW

~ CHART OF THE SOUL ~ $25 10.99

What are you here to do? What is your path?  What is blocking your soul from truly expressing what it is here to do?

I���ll cover gifts and talents and what your soul contract is in this lifetime!

~ ANCESTRAL READING~ $25 10.99

I focus on connecting to your ancestor team, showing you the way they would like for you to go. Also just helping you communicate with them is key here. Whatever they want to let you know at this time is the focus of this reading.

~PAST LIFE READING~  $25 10.99

I love this one. Our past lives shows us what karma, gifts, strengthens and weaknesses we have. I bring insight into these old lives and show you the keys to how to utilize the power of our past lives! 

~ MONEY READING ~ $ 25 10.99

Reading your energy around money, seeing what's in store for you and also anything that needs to be worked on. Any blockages, any gifts you may have in making money will be focused on this reading! Figuring out what you must do to shift the energy of money in your life, so on and so forth.

~THE SHADOW~  $25 10.99

What is hiding deep beneath the surface within you?

Our shadow is always trying to speak, but yet we hide from who we truly are.

The shadow is nothing to be afraid of, which is why bring awareness to what lies inside those eyes of yours?

~ ROMANTIC LOVE READING ~ $25 10.99

A general love reading where I focus on when you will receive love and also tap into your energy field and see what issues or any blockages tainting your connects with love. 

What lessons, trials and tribulations have you gone through, cycles you have been repeating in the acts of love if necessary? 

There is so much in store and its my most favored readings from people so yeah check it out &lt;3

We'll tap into so much, how to tap into your sensuality, romantic energy and much more. Just send me a dm and we'll get into it.

 If you have a specific question we can also go for that as well. 

~ QUANTUM JUMP READING ~ $25 10.99

Are you ready to change your story? If you're ready to take that leap, spirit will give me just the answer. It's time to make a way when it feels like it isn't one. If you gotta lose something just to do something then this is where I come in to give you guidance.

Risks you need to take

Luck, how it comes thru you and where you should apply this knowledge

How your vibration moves to get what it wants. Being yourself is the key to getting all the answers

Moving out of your own way : What is it that needs a lift in your life? What needs to change?

For the closing piece , sometimes we tend to control our destiny when it isn't necessary. So be calm with yourself and learn to allow things to be. You can't control the answers you seek. You'll have to force yourself into driving steady and get on cruise control. Get it?

Where is your consciousness ? $ 20 $10.99

This is for people who need a conscious re-boost. To deliver yourself from behavioral patterns or ways of thinking that have shaped your reality in a way that might not be favored. Our consciousness is the energy fuel for our desires. So when its not used correctly life can be a little daunting. So whoever needs a pick me up on where they need to be moving their body & brains, this is for you. I want to see what it is you guys got goin on, what talents and abilities are waiting to be used and making this reality something special. That's all.

To rebirth, shift your consciousness to the way your life is suppose to be. where it is meant to be.

capture the shadowy thoughts that are hidden.

fear of the unknown, what lingers in your mind? what thoughts are bothering you and haunting you from seeing the light?

Where does your energy need to be applied?

[i-am-a-l0st-gh0st]

★Masterlist★

- Albedo

Underneath the Stars- "I heard you talking in your sleep."-\

Brainrot- Fluff

-Scara

im scum, im waste, im what you want- 'I thought I told you not to smile at other men.'

Part 2

Part 3

What am I gonna do- "Why are you asking me such stupid questions?"

Hold me closer and I'll hold back- "Same old heart with the same old tricks, hold me closer and I’ll hold back"

He says everything I need to hear- And its like i couldn't ask for anything better

If im dead to you why are at the wake?- Cursing my name, wishing I'd stayed

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater- and if may just take your breath away

-Alhaitham

A soulmate who wasn't meant to be- 'Was our relationship just a joke to you...?'

All the stars aligned- "And what name should I put?"

When I'm not with you think of me always- "Everything is alright just hold on tight, that's because I'm a god old fashioned lover boy"

In front of all your stupid friends- "If you kissed me would it be just like i dreamed?"

Brainrot

When I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave- “Cause I loved you, I swear I love you… Till my dying day…”

-Kaeya

One last time- 'Can you just kiss me? One last time? That's all I ask...'

I'll do anything you ask of me- My fingers pressed until their sore

-Tighnari

Wandering in the woods- "It's alright Collei, they should be okay. You did good."

-Xiao

Falling asleep on him- 'He was rarely shown affection and was very unsure what do to when he received it.'

Drunk under a street light- "But I knew you, dancing in your Levis drunk under a street light"-

You said you love me exactly the way I am- "Guess I must be satisfactory you said you love me exactly the way I am"

Show me how you care- Show me how you smile

Meet me at our spot- Baby, are you coming for the ride?

Childe

In your arms tonight-. 'You hadn't been hugged by anyone like this in years, so of course some tears were shed.'

Hey I miss your stupid face- Get back to my place, I need you. It hurts so much to wait

I never meant to hurt you though- I pushed a lot back but I can't forget it

Neuvillette

But I didn't need to be stronger I needed to be saved- You wanted nothing more than to hold him

And that's why I love fall- I love you y/n don't you forget that

With eyes as dead as mine- "Oh, what a blessing to meet someone like you."

Could you ever imagine where our lives could be- Luckily you saw something in me, something I couldn’t see

Ayato

But now he's playing with your head- "God will you stop being so clingy!"

They never know what you know- "It's not that simple but they won't seem to notice"

All the leaves are brown- And the sky is grey

Kaveh

All this over a kiss- "You're Y/N, my Fiance!"

Clung on tightly, like parentheses- "And every sentence that a spoke began and ended with ellipsis"

I wanna be your favourite boy- "I wanna be the one who makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake"

Why don't you love me anymore?- But you say I don't know how to love

Lyney

I don't know what to do without you- "Please, I'm still the same lyney you fell in love with"

Please hold me close to you- Baby flatline still time to do it too

And i thought you might be mine- In a small world, on an exceptionally rainy Tuesday night

Feeling sick of myself- Guess I'll try to be someone else (trans masc reader)

The breathing exercises hurt- They don't do fuck all

I'll Hide My Chest...- And i'll figure out a way to get us out of here

No alarms and no surprises-Such a pretty house And such a pretty garden

Wait by the door like I'm just a kid- And watch you tolerate it.

Boys don't cry- I would say i'm sorry, if thought that it would change your mind.

I should be over all the butterflies- Im still into you

Secrets i have held in my heart- are harder to hide than I thought

Part 1

Part 2

I'm cutting people out again- I hope to see their faces when I pursue. Haunting you…

I'll hide my chest- And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.

Wriothesley

Yeah, you made it all alright- Those words were for you and for you alone

Why do I myself dream like this?- "But perhaps its just my stupid hea in the end

We fell in love in October- That's why I love fall

They say it's such a shame, I turned out this way- "The red means I love you."

We listen to a lot of true crime- But it's alright, she'll be fine

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Breaking my back just know your name- Well, some body told me, that you have a boyfriend.

Make sure nobody sees you leave- Tell your friends you're out for a run

Heizou

I can't stop you putting roots in my dream land- Despite being a detective many things about you were still a mystery that he could never figure out.

Thoma

Sweet tea in the summer- "Sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won't tell no other"

You know i wanna be your light- In darkness, How you find me just in time to tell me what I needed to hear.

Kazuha

I don't deserve you, you deserve the world- Every time that i miss you I feel the way you hurt

Diluc

Oh what a blessing to meet someone like you- "With eyes as dead as mine"

Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away- When you get out of bed don't end up stranded

It's always been just him and me together- So I'll bet all I have on

Just one more tear to cry- One tear drop from my eye

Multi

Coming out as Non-binary

You and me, always forever- Fremient, Lyney, Alhaitham

Gaming

If you're lost you can look and find me- Time after Time

You're just another picture to burn- There's no time for tears

Arlecchino

Date rambles-

My kinda girl- Im down on my hands and knees begging you please baby