#im proyecting myself onto steve

[nymime]

Steve harrington is fucking good in Chess, he could easily go to Chess Olympics and get in the top 10 best players.

He started playing when he was around 6-7, his nonna teach him with and old and beautiful chess board made of wood, the pieces of chess where shiny and not made with the traditional black and white and materials, no, they where made of a green bright stone that he can’t remember the name, and the other half where bones of animals that where already dead.

Steve was the one who ask to play someday, and nonna excited access to teach him. He was good, a natural you can say, and he enjoyed so much, that every time he was at nonna’s house, they play, not always following the rules, sometime they change them and makes originals, with backstory’s and wars. But nonna dies when he was 12 and he stop playing, even so he remember how to play.

Now, the chessboard and the pieces are save in an old oak box with the carving “Stevie and Nonna Lina chessboard.”

[nymime]

FW: suicide thoughts, suicide ideation, self harm.

Steve was staring his hand, watching his finger flinch and twitch with sudden spams of stress. He was so tired, not a sleepyhead or lazy way, but just drained out of all energy and motivation to do anything more than breath. The brunette can feel his lung get full with air, he hold it until his view start to get black and fuzzy, he exhaled deeply and slow, he do it again.

Steve was laying on his bed since Friday, now is Monday. he only get up to go and pee, he didn’t eat anything since the breakfast of Friday, his stomach feels numb and it hurts, but he don’t care, Steve don’t have the energy to care. His breathing got stuck for a shaky breath he got, his eyes start to get blurry, he can feel the tears stuck on his lashes. He blink, than twice, he can’t do the tears go down, Steve was so tired for try to cry. His middle and ring finger flinch, the boy sigh again.

Why he was even alive? He don’t deserve to be here, he was just a stupid rich boy that he couldn’t be smart enough to do something good, he fail on the propose of his birth; be a competent heir to his father’s company, his old man hate him since birth, always away to not see the failure of son he has. His mother don’t care about him, not anymore, not after she found out that he have the same illness as his grandmother, what a lost of time he was to her, have a disorder of personality, borderline worse! Even have the nerve to develop severe depression. She couldn’t care less if he tries and go kill himself, Steve is convince that his mother would do a party if he dies, he can’t blame her if she do.

He was just a waste of space. If he weren’t here, Robin wouldn’t got on all that shitty situation of Upside down and Russians, she would be on some place doing so much things. Steve sure that she will meet a good girl and establish, far away of him.

Steve was just so tired, his fingers flinch once again, why he can’t move? Why his body was so fucking heavy? What a bothersome thing. He sigh again, having the little energy to roll over to his other side, he do it. Now he was on his left flank, the simple action of roll make him a lot more tired than before, what a shame of living thing he was. He continue staring his fingers, wondering if he would die laying on his bed and who would find his body. Maybe Robin? Or maybe Dustin with Eddie, he didn’t know. Steve hasn’t hear anything of them since Friday, clearly he didn’t was missed for them.

He couldn’t care less, he was tired.