#im proud of how this turned out! I’m not too sure about the background though.

[xylo-art]

I’m hoping to someday get an art/animation program that allows me to import audio. For now though, silent lipsyncs are alright.

Background-less text-less version under the cut!

[eijirousbestie]

I’m not sure if my request have been sent to you or not but here we ge. Bakugou drawing with reader this time just quite and pace a day later he would notice reader putting his drawing in a nice and viable place in her wall like she is proud of him , im craving for some fluff🥹

Yes I got your last request too!! I try to crank these new stories out at least twice a month cuz of daily life but I got around to it today🫵🏽 I’ll combine ur last request with this one since it’s kinda the same premise. As always thank y’all for reading and I hope you enjoy! If y’all have any special requests PLS SHARE THEM WITH ME!! I’d love to write them<33

“Stick to art.”

painting together

peaceful silence

Bakugou is actually good at painting

may or may not have based the painting off of one I actually made…

* * *

“For the love of god will you stop hogging all the white paint?”

“Quit whinin’ will ya? I’ll hand it back just give me a sec here.” You in fact did not get the paint back in a few seconds. With the way he’s got it in a death grip you’re not entirely sure it’ll survive the trip back to you.

“Katsuki, your knuckles are literally turning white from how hard you’re squeezing the tube. You don’t even need that much.”

“You know the more you talk the less “enjoyable” this bright idea of yours is.” He places the tube of paint down on the ground next to your knee.

You both are in your dorm room, your usual tarp covering the flooring under you from any stray paint splatters. It was your grand idea to have the both of you paint together. Actually, it was to prove to Bakugou that painting wasn’t as easy as he chucked it up to be. It started with his comments about your art earlier in the week. You were working on another project for class and spent hours painting and refining the details. The boisterous blonde disrupted your thoughts in place of his own. Why the hell’s this taking so long? It’s just an apple, he’d question. To him, a painting should never take more than at least two hours tops. If anything, watching you paint for hours on end was the coolest thing to him because how could someone have that much patience? He’d never admit it though. And now here you both are, having a painting session in your room to prove to him it’s not as easy as he thinks.

Grabbing the now freed white paint you add a small glob of it to your palette, mixing the specific color you needed. You both have already been painting for almost an hour. It’s Saturday and you didn’t have anything better to do. Before you both started, you’d searched Pinterest for painting ideas. Scrolling through various cartoon characters, Bakugou settles on painting a simple white skull against a black background. The reference is such a him choice. You chose yours a little while after him but refused to tell him your idea. He rolled his eyes and started sketching on the small canvas you’d given him, occasionally asking you if his proportions were accurate.

You both had fallen into a quiet peace. The windows drawn to let the last bits of sun in. The soft sounds of your music thrumming through your small speaker. The slosh of water being dirtied up in solo cups as Bakugou cleans his brush. Just all around good vibes and harmless bickering here and there. You swear you’ve never seen him so relaxed, other than the time he fell asleep while you were drawing him. You look up from your canvas and catch a glimpse of Bakugou’s face. Trimmed eyebrows pinched together in a stare of pure concentration, his lips slightly tucked in as he works on the details of the skull.

His painting technique is quite impressive. Understandably not to your level, but if he took art seriously he could be one hell of an artist. The way he changes the pressure of his grip when outlining the teeth of the skull has you eyeing his piece in astonishment. Where the hell did he learn that from?

“You gonna keep starin’ at my shit or are you actually gonna give your input.” Your gaze lifts from his painting to him. You give a slightly confused look.

“Wait what.”

“Asked if I was doing this line stuff right but you looked lost as hell. Told you to leave that dope alone.” You roll your eyes.

“Ya mama. And yeah you’re doing it right. Just don’t make em too thick.” He side eyes you so hard you’re sure his eyes are about to roll out of his head.

“You’re lucky I’m goin’ to therapy.”

“Aren’t we all.” You give a brief chuckle and continue to work on your painting. The light pink background against the chosen figures ties the whole piece together. A particular song plays from the shuffle queue of your music library. It’s one that you and Bakugou both know. You quietly hum along, bobbing your head. Your ears pick up a rather deep tremor that joins your humming. He’s humming along too, eyes laser focused on his work. In the most non-corny way possible, you try to harmonize with him, doing decent until you miss a note halfway through. He makes sure you’re aware he noticed.

“Stick to art.” He snickers, shoulders softly shaking.

“Mind your business.”

“I’ll do what I wanna do.” He retorts. He’s so sassy and for what.

Another couple hours pass and you’ve both finished your paintings. Katsuki lifts his painted skull with pride, his ego through the roof. It’s actually a pretty solid painting. Albeit, simple, but not bad at all.

“Goddamn Kats, you didn’t do half bad.” You chide with a grin.

“Damn right. Told you this shit’s easy. Just gotta get over gettin stuck in the details.”

“That’s funny because you asked for my help with line work but go off I guess.”

“You’re just a resource. Gotta use what I can to get where I need to be.”

“Damnnn ouch. That’s all I am to you? Katsuki I’m hurt.” You feign heartbreak as you dramatically hold your hand over your heart.

“Idiot. You gonna show me what you ended up paintin’ or not?” You nod, grabbing your canvas and flipping it over to show him your piece.

His eyes are met with an image of two bears, one white, one brown. Their cheeks are smushed together in some sort of side hug. The brown bear does not look amused. He clicks his tongue and tilts his head.

“You really love cutesy shit don’t you?”

You shrug. “Not my fault the Pinterest bears were cute. Stay mad but I’m in my bag.”

“The fuck’s that even mean-”

“Shhh you’re being a hater right now.” He shakes his head as he chuckles deeply, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

“Yeah you’re really lucky I’m in therapy.” You laugh with him and reach for his painting that he left on the ground.

“You gonna leave this behind after you worked so hard on it?” You question. He shrugs.

“Don’t really got a place for it. I ain’t really into displaying things like you. You keep it or something.” You hold onto both paintings as he announces his departure to his room.

The next morning, he wakes up and starts his usual routine. Shower, brushing his teeth and skincare. The shuffle of his house shoes fills the quiet of the halls as he journeys to your room to make sure you’re up to go on your Sunday morning run together. He knocks once, twice and gets no reply. He jiggles the doorknob and he finds it unlocked, meaning you’re probably not inside. He opens your door and looks around to find no you. But what he does find makes his face go warm. There on the wall adjacent to the door, hangs his skull painting right next to yours. A ghost of a smile graces his lips as he shakes his head, closing the door to your room to go and grab you for your run.

bonus: the paintings y’all made

Bakugou’s:

Yours: *optional*

fun fact this is actually a painting I made a few months ago😭

[sunsents]

Library - James Potter (M)

Heyyy, hey, how ya'll doing?? My exams are over!! Thank you so much for the support and the lovely messages 😙 here's a kith. I know you guys are waiting on Empty part 2, so here's a really short unedited thing?? I wrote a few months ago for you guys to read while you wait. You can really see how much I improved with my recent writing, but I hope you all enjoy this nonetheless while I finish up Empty 2. Enjoy, or don't. Idk.

Summary —> A study sesh turns into something much more when two knuckleheads interrupt you.

Pairing: jamespotter x fem!reader (im sorry to frederick for neglecting my gingeritis religion.)

Word count: a mere 1.4k

Warnings: smut / just filthy sex honestly / cheeky lil breast action /

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

You made sure to neatly pile your hoard of essay papers and not mind the ink blotches your palm had left from the hours of work put within. It didn't matter, Slughorn cared about the content rather than esthetic, hopefully. It was no big matter to worry about you told yourself, your handwriting was messy and not the most appealing, but your handiwork in potions was quite the opposite, it was fine.

"Hey ____, still workin' on those?" James Potter's husky voice cracked like a whip in-front of your face, perhaps painful to your ears as well.

You glowered at him, what else were you supposed to do? His antics continued to worsen every day. "What do you want?" your nasally voice caused you to clear your throat, evidence perhaps that you hadn't left the library seat and spoke in hours.

"Just checking in." Sirius Black's pool of hair - black as well - was turned the opposite way, he was gazing at the library books, a most unusual sight for him. "Didn't want you melting outta boredom."

"I'm perfectly fine thanks." you snapped, your head rung in awful thumps of pain but you paid no attention to it.

The corners of James's perfect lips lowered playfully. "You're all snappy, we're doin' nothing." his tone was smooth as silk now, his lips tugging into a playful grin once again. Never was a grin not on James's handsome face.

You took a deep inhale while watching him, you had to anyways. Your fingers were fidgeting together under the table, a view James couldn't hopefully see but the way your rings clicked together made him painfully aware. "Just don't bother me till' I'm done, I'm almost finished."

James nodded, his bottom lip jutting out in a frown once again. You had to roll you eyes, had to do something to make it seem like you weren't enjoying their so called company.

You stretched your head back and enjoyed the feeling of your neck craning and extending for a few moments. It had been a some time since movement was made in your fatigued body. you figured your tied up hair wasn't going to keep intact much longer, so you released the band in a swift move. Your hair cascaded down all the same, then you quickly shot straight and continued to write.

You didn't have time for comforts and stretching, you were close to finishing your essay and that was all that mattered. You didn't even bother asking James if he had done it, because his answer was surely at the ready. He was Head Boy and his marks were all excellent, but when it came to homework it was long forgotten to him.

A slight diversion caused you to look up, James and Sirius were on the ground and a few books had fallen, scattered around the wooden library floor. You scoffed then flicked your wand; the books magicked up and flew back to their original places. "One second and you guys make a mess." you stared, your eyes flashed dangerously. You weren't an intimidating person, at least you liked to think so much unlike what your friends said.

But surely, you easily managed to intimidate the two most popular boys in Hogwarts. They both quickly shot up and took the seats in-front of you. Sirius was apologetically looking down, unlike James who immediately relaxed and sprawled himself out on the plush cushions. Ass, you thought, but didn't say anything.

"Alright what do you want, really." you deadpanned, you knew them for seven years, they weren't fooling you.

James, who was busy wiping his glasses on the fabric of his sweater put them back on and smirked. "You." he simply said.

You rolled her eyes and scoffed all the same, though your stomach was erupting in butterflies. "James why don't you go bother Lily like you always do." you whispered, Madame Pince was glaring at them and you weren't going to risk getting kicked out of the library again.

"No," James started, Sirius merely watched the interaction play out with a smile. "why would I go t'her when I have you right here."

You shot up and squeezed your fists, you weren't going to fall for it, a phrase you had been telling yourself for the past two years when James's interest suddenly piqued on you. "I'm gonna go put these books back."

After pressing the three large books to your chest, you wasted no time getting far away from the two boys as possible. Your heartbeat was rapid, dangerously fast that you thought you might drop dead.

It wasn't much time until you reached the furthest corridor of bookcases, luckily this was the row where you had acquired the books. You walked to the middle and stood on your toes, reaching your hand up and letting the books fly back to their original places. Then, the next book, same process. You were going awfully slow, doing your best to avoid talking to James as much as you could so your burning cheeks could go cool down and your heart would stop trying to thump out of your chest.

The third book, so close to being done until a presence suddenly overpowered you. It was right behind you and awfully familiar, towering over your stretched figure. James' cologne was what gave it away so suddenly, "Let me." his tone was going in spirals, once husky, then silky and now this. Breathless, strained and somehow desperate.

What you didn't realize was your skirt lifting up when you stood tip toe on your legs, your years of Quidditch clearly visible on your body. At least for James anyways. You heard him swallow thickly, then a muscular arm towering over her figure and pushing the last book up.

James sucked in a breath.

It was dizzying, you were never this close to him. A new territory, unfamiliar and intimate, not to mention exciting. Sure he flirted but he never took it too far, you didn't know what to think of it either. He was confident while "flirting" with Lily, he held his chest high and cracked jokes which only made the Lily blush deeper and continue to insult him. His ego boosted whenever Lily would try to hide away her blush, and the usual row of girls on the background sighing with her. It was somehow annoying, seeing James so buttered up.

James exhaled harshly.

But with you it was different, James was the one blushing. An unusual sight, James Potter being flustered but it was true. He would even stutter at times if you playfully flirted back, which happened very rarely. He would start off confident, and it would die down in a matter of seconds.

James was breathing almost heavily now.

You felt proud at sometimes, you even believed that James maybe would be harboring feelings for you. But then that big ole clump in your head would yell 'why would he, he's James Potter. Also, he's been in love with the same girl for years.' and all that hope would dissolve away.

James groaned desperately.

So frankly, you didn't know how you ended up with your skirt hiked up your waist, panties messily tucked aside and thick cock buried to hilt between your walls and continuously slamming into that one, dizzying spot. James' hands slithered around your waist and his arms tightly encircled on your stomach to press. You could feel every single muscle. Every single muscle to from stomach, down his thighs and the flesh between them.

He pressed his chest on your back, whispered the filthiest phrases he could think of to make you writhe, told you how pathetic you were for letting him do this in a ruddy library. Maybe this was what caused him to run a hand up your chest and clasp his hand around your throat. "Keep quiet, don't want anyone seeing you like this." he had told you, and it was the slight roll of his hips that made you unable to answer and barely take it.

You babbled, drooled, worshipped his cock with your sopping cunt until he was telling you that he loved you. He pulled on your chin to kiss you, sloppy and wet and he didn't let you answer. His glasses were pushed behind, rocking back and forth with his body, dangerously close to falling off. He was gorgeous and with your hands propped on the library shelves, you whimpered an "I love you." back. The two of you came, claiming each other and lazy smiles knowing that the feelings the both of you harbored was reciprocated, and the possibility of having something more was true.

[futurewriter2000]

Rocks and Dust

A/N: I don't know why Remus gave me such Heath Ledger vibes when I was writing this but he did and I am honestly so fucking proud of it. Now, I really want to make myself some rice and chicken... or just rice. I hope you like it <3

REQUESTED BY @cloudywitchh: Hiiii, Im not sure if your requests are open, but if they are i have one. :)) Before I request, I want you to know that I love your oneshots and series! ive been binge reading. Could you possibly do a Gryffindor reader that has both james and remus that like her. oneshot or series. if you choose to write it, thank you, if not i understand

XX

Souls meet when eyes do and it hasn't been much easy to hold yourself back when such mesmerising hazel eyes had done nothing but watch you seductively.

At first you couldn't feel it but after a while, something in the back of your mind told you to look a certain direction. When you did, your eyes met his and a certain colour started to appear on your cheeks.

You watched him, he watched you. "Yes, Potter?" you asked with a smirk forming on the corner of your lips.

He smiled, tilting his head a bit to the side before speaking. "Had you done something new with your hair?" he asked, glancing up at your hair as you let out a laugh.

"Not really."

"Well, no matter of it." he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You look absolutely stunning."

You felt your heart flutter in your chest but you were not about to let him know that. "Thank you. When don't I look absolutely stunning." you joked and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, mate." Remus came into the common room and tapped James' shoulder as he passed him by, sitting next to him.

James smile faded a bit. He was a tad disappointed in his friend's presence. Everything had seemed to go so well between you and him. If the two of you continued to be alone, he would have had more confidence to ask you out on a date. Knowing that Remus took fancy in you too, it was a bit challenging to do so.

"What's up, Moony?" James looked at him, clearly not in a friendliest tone Remus was used to.

Remus' lips twirled upwards and he felt amused by his friends' frustration. He looked at you and smiled wonderfully. "Hi." he said and you smiled cheerfully, oblivious to the competition in front of you.

"Hi, Remus."

You seemed to be a tad disappointed as well. You loved to flirt with James because it seemed so easy and fun to do yet sometimes you couldn't understand whether he truly likes you or if he's doing it just out of fun. But you live by your mother's words; If a man truly likes you, he will do absolutely everything to let you know and pursue you.

That was why you were always so laid back. You didn't overthink anything when it came to boy. They seemed to think more simply than girls and whatever they did, they did because they wanted to, not because there was a whole scheme behind their actions.

You could see a bit discomfort in James. You couldn't really figure out why but he started to pout, which had made you a bit more uncomfortable around both of them.

Remus, however, loved to talk to you. He was open and honest but sometimes you felt as if he held too many secrets inside of him. To you, he was a bit harder to get to know, no matter how much he could tell you.

"You're going to love this, (y/n)!" he started to sound more excited. "I had found the oldest yet most interesting place a few nights ago-" he hear- both of you heard James scoff to that. "And I know your curious spirit cannot wait to explore it."

"Where?!" you threw all your books away and jumped forward. Old ruins and historic backgrounds always made you overly excited. You must have gotten it from your dad's side of the family. Everybody seemed to be more of history freaks and you were no different.

"I can show you. What do you think James?" Remus turned to James, who only laughed.

"No, thank you." he stood up and stretched his arms over his body. "Rocks and dust? Not my cup of tea. If I wanted to take a girl I fancy-" he looked at you with a grin and a soft chuckle. "I'd take her somewhere more romantic." he walked to you and winked. "A lovely restaurant or a walk among the trees under the moonlight." he was leaning down to you, close and observing the flush in your cheeks.

Your eyes were meeting and it lit a fiery spark between the two of you but as you didn't want to give him the pleasure of it, you rolled your eyes and moved away. "That's a bit of a cliche, isn't it, Potter?" you stood up and stretched your back as well. "I don't do romance." you turned from James to Remus and smiled excitedly. "Shall we go and explore!?"

"Yes we shall."

---

Remus hasn't felt you this excited over some 'rocks and dust' in all the years he had known you but he had felt his heart fill with joy and love when he could see how a person can live for the small things in life. You didn't care about wealth or power, neither if a person was physically beautiful and attractive. You neither cared if person had its flaws, you still loved anybody for who they were; good or evil. You always tried to look the best in people and your gift was, that you always seemed to bring out just that out of everybody and especially out of him.

As the two of you had walked, he had realised that he wants to tell you something important to him. It wasn't a secret to his friends and family but it was a shameful secret to him and to everybody else.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked as the two of you were climbing up the hill.

"Yeah." you stopped, gasping for air and putting your hands on your hips. "I think we need to rest too." you smiled and he laughed.

"It's not that far. We're almost close."

"My heart is almost close to stopping too."

He laughed again and sat on the rock, finding the moon shining on him as if it was leaving its fullness from a few days ago. "I just have the need to tell you this... and I'm serious."

You looked up at him and found the moon perfectly cut out the colour of his green eyes. "Your eyes look so pretty in the moonlight." you said without any filter but sat down next to him.

"Thank you."

You smiled and looked up at the moon before taking a look of his worried expression. "What is it?" you shoved him a little as he smiled. "You can tell me your deepest darkest secret." you joked but it was no joke to him.

"Well... I'm... I'm a werewOlf." he stuttered out, trying to sound casually as he said so but unsuccessful.

You only stared in silence, clearly processing the information as he was impatient to wait for your reaction. Your eyes only narrowed at him and you nodded. "I knew it."

"You knew it?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I mean, I didn't know it. I just know there was something to you that I couldn't put my finger on but I kind of knew it. It did cross my mind once but I brushed it off quickly. I didn't believe it but apparently my intuition was on to something." you laughed and stood up, offering him your hand. "Shall we continue?"

"You don't seem a tad phased by it." he took your hand gently and stood up.

"Oh, I am but I really don't mind people being people. You know?" you started to talk fast. "I don't judge people by their flaws, more by their actions and I don't seem why your werewolfness would bother me when there are far worse withces, wizards and Muggles in this world, who are far more worse than any werewolf I had encounter. Which, you're the first but still. You don't seem the one to eat children and howl at the moon."

He let out a loud laugh. "I don't eat children but I do the latter."

---

The two of you walked up the hill hand in hand, him trying to pull you up as his steps were much larger than yours. He was more of muscles than you, faster and careful as for you seemed to trip over a branch or two.

He had opened up as the two of you made your way to the top and started to walk on the flatlands. It stretched far away from the castle but you could see the ruins so clearly from the distance. The light of he moon made the subject far more pleasing to the eye and at that moment when Remus was talking to you and your eyes seemed to wander on the view- everything seemed to be perfect and you imprinted that moment into your memory so that you can look back and re-live it all over again.

As he talked, he seemed more lose and excited. He hadn't held back on anything. He had told you about Animagnus forms of his friends and how he isn't the only one who howls at the moon. Sirius apparently loves to do it just as well in his other form. He had constantly made you laugh by his full moon stories and how he accepted the awful fact of his life-long destiny of sharing his body with a beast.

He was glowing, literally glowing when he was telling you all the things he was hiding from you and for the first time, you were the one to listen and he was the one constantly talking.

"We're here!" he pointed at the ruins of an old castle. It wasn't big or notorious as Camelot or Hogwarts or any other historically known castle. It was small and poor in it's built but it was still a castle, just not the traditional kind.

He let go of your hand and it gave you a sort of an electrical shock as he did. You seemed to be so comfortable and in love of holding hands that you completely forgot what it was like without his fingers intertwined with yours.

It wasn't for long though. He had opened the old wooden door for you and offered you his hand to lead you inside. "After you, m'lady." he bowed as a gentleman should and you hurried up inside, taking him by the hand and leading him behind you.

Your wands needn't to be lit as the moonlight made it's own natural light through the large gaps between the rocks. Nature made it's own charm by growing vines around the walls, flowers and grass among the cracks. It truly did feel more magical than the magic itself.

"Oh, Remus look!" you ran to one of the walls and saw names carved in. "Ibzan." you smiled back at him.

"Old biblical name." Remus followed and saw many other names written around it. "Arthur." he laughed. "Wouldn't be an English castle without an Arthur in it."

"Tatiana." you looked at it. "Like a princess." you looked at him but he seemed to be very close to you, staring forward. His chest was against your back and his head leaning over your shoulder. You didn't have to look back. You could only move your eyes to the side and see him there.

He seemed to be so focused on the rocks in front of you that he hasn't even noticed you marvelling at him. All you could see, for the first time noticing his sharp, nicely structured side profile. His cheek bones were finely defined, his lips sharp and plump and his eyebrows nicely arched.

He truly was a beautiful boy and you hadn't noticed it till now. His palm was placed against the rock as he was supporting himself but when he had noticed you looking at him, he slyly looked back. A corner of his mouth quirked up and he said: "A girl doesn't need to be a princess to have a beautiful name." he spoke low and quietly.

The spark that James lit before was over-flamed by the passion Remus arroused in you. Before you knew it, he was leaning down and kissed you softly. One short kiss and it was enough to tempt you for more. You put your hand around his neck and pulled him down for me, smiling into it as you had felt him smile as well. As heavy as they felt, they seemed light as well because no kisses seemed to be as perfect as his; soft, teasing yet deep and passionate.

When he placed his hand on your cheek you could feel the dust set on your skin. You let out a giggle and he pulled away. "What?" he smiled but then just noticed how dark your cheek was. "Oh, my-" he let out a laugh, then looked back on the wall his palm was pressed on before. "I am terribly sorry."

You laughed as well. "Don't worry." you continued to laugh and wipe it away. "It'll probably wash away."

"Probably." he tilted his head a bit and gave you a peck. "And we should probably head back."

Putting your arms around his neck, you made a big stretch and looked up at the sky. "Ugh..." you looked back into his green eyes, burning your soul into sparks and bitses. "But it's so beautiful here." you let out a small whine and he chuckled.

"Well, (y/n)(y/l/n). I didn't think you did romance." he teased.

"I don't. I let the man do all the romance for me." you stepped on your tiptoes and brushed your nose against his.

"That's a bit unfair."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Lupin. I have time to make it fair."

"Glad to hear it."

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Teaching Sanji how to make a meal he’s never heard of

Did this for randomly for fun, idk the idea hit me as i was drinking coffee at 5am. this is completely unrevised and unedited so its probably all over the place knowing my tired self. 

Also a few of my irl friends know this acc and im suddenly im kinda hella embarrassed to post anything lmao

hrng theres always so much dialogue but im to lazy to add a background and stuff for a proper one shot aaaaa

it was a lazy day on the sunny

the next island was still quite a ways away so everyone was doing there own thing to pass the time

but you were feeling kinda hungry, so of course you call sanji over

arriving at your side in record breaking speeds he smiled as he grabbed your hand and kissed it

“how may i help you my love?”

you returned his smile and laughed

“im feelin kinda hungry, do you think you can make me something to eat?”

he seemed to glow at your request and nodded his head

“Of course i can y/n-swan! Do you have something in mind or should i just make the usual”

you tilted your head in thought as you thought of the dish

“Actually i do have an idea”

You told him the dish and expected him to immediately run off like always but instead he blinked

“Erm...can you repeat that please?”

Telling it to him once more, the blond frowned and closed his eyes in thought

“I don’t believe i’ve ever heard of this dish, do you think you can describe it?”

“Sanji, don’t tell me you’ve never heard of this dish before?!” you say, eyes wide with shock

And now he feels even more guilty than before

He knows that there are food and meals out there he’s never heard of, but now when your requesting one of them and he cant do anything about it? He feels awful

“I apologize y/n-swan. I’ll make you some--” you interrupt him by poking his chest “Nope you’re not gonna cook anything now” 

This time he’s the one whos surprised

“Bu-” “Alright Sanji, today im going to teach you one of the best meals out there” 

Grabbing his hand, you lead him to the kitchen with a smile

“Y/n-swan...you can cook??” “Of course i can! I may not be a pro like you are, but i know a couple dishes pretty well. Only reason you don’t ever see me in the kitchen is simply because im lazy. Plus i prefer your cooking more, feels like im eating food that only royalty deserves”

His heart seemed to explode at that, he quickly pulled you back into a tight hug

“Y/n-swaaaaan~! What did i do to deserve an angel like you?” you laughed and hugged him back equally as tight

Once you finally made it to the kitchen, the chef grew excited

Excited to learn a new dish, excited that you are the one teaching it to him, excited to taste his lovely s/o’s cooking for the first time

You turned to him and crossed your arms

“Alright, how do you want to do this? Do you want to do it while i explain the steps, or do you want to just watch me make it?”

He thought for a few moments. While he was tempted to do it himself, he really wanted to try your cooking 

“I’ll watch you do the cooking, but i’ll help prep if thats alright with you. Just tell me what to grab and ill get it!”

You nodded your head and begun to list the ingredients

Throughout the whole process, Sanji was much quieter than you had initially thought he would be

Much less fawning over your actions, and more determination and focus as his blue eyes watched every little thing you did

Every now and then he would ask some questions or clarification but he didn’t say much else

Though actually, i think he would randomly give compliments to you while you cooked 

Soon enough the meal was complete, and suddenly you became slightly self conscious about your cooking

“Alright Sanji, the plating is a bit messy, and the flavors are probably not up to your standards but-” “Nonsense. I’m sure it tastes amazing, after all you were the one to make it”

You sigh and place the dish in front of him

He inspects the dish for a few seconds, turning it around and smelling it, sometimes gave it a light poke or two before finally taking a bite

He closes his eyes as he chewed but they suddenly shot open

“This is really good!”

“Really? You don’t have to be nice you know, its fine if you dont like it” you say but he shakes his head

“No no, this is seriously really delicious! Amazing job y/n-swan! The seasoning is amazing and the texture is very nice, the flavor isn’t too strong or light its just right. This is a great dish that I will definitely try to make in the future”

You can’t help but get a bit flustered at the compliments

“Thats..thats very sweet of you to say thank you” 

You lean over the table and kiss his cheek

From that alone he had to fight against getting a nose bleed honestly

“Now eat up, i believe you were the hungry one after all” he says and you nod

“Sure, lemme just grab another plate and fork and we can split it” you say but he quickly stands up “Here, let me grab it for you. Its the least i can do”

Standing up, he walks towards where the dishes and silverware is but pauses

“Instead of dirtying more things, how about you let me feed you?” he asks with a cheeky smile

You roll your eyes with a smile, deciding to indulge him of his request you nod

“You know what? Sure why not”

Later on he would practice the dish and have you taste it to see if it was correct/to your liking

Unsurprisingly, It only took him a few attempts to nail it 

Another one to add his own flair to it and make it even better

And man, the proud grin he had when he served you this dish

Like many of his other dishes, he practiced it to the point where he could probably make this perfectly blind folded

He gives you a sincere thank you for teaching him a new dish

Will make it for you whenever you ask

But please make him more food, he absolutely loved your cooking and hope it wasn’t a one time thing

[squishy-mochi-is-bright-pink]

hi! uh—sorry if this is confusing, it’s my first time making a request. uhm—i’ve just been feeling rlly down lately and was considering self harm. so, if it’s okay with u, can i request for tsukishima/sakusa/osamu (u can choose if doing all is too much) seeing their s/o with a fear of sharp objects about to self harm but not going through with it and them comforting their s/o? u dont have to do it tho if ur not comfortable with it, i just wanted to try asking :)

Characters: Tsukishima and Sakusa

CW: self harm, sharp objects

Genre: comfort

Word count: 1, 616

Summary: You've been struggling with thoughts of self harm, which then lead you to a fear of sharp objects. Your boyfriend notices and tries his best to help you.

A/n: your request wasn't confusing at all, don’t worry. So sorry I didn't get around to writing Osamu but I hope this is alright. if you ever need someone to talk to im here, or you could request as much or as little as you want. Just remember self harm isn't the answer, alright? Remember you're loved <3

Tsukishima

Okay, so even though everyone says that Tsukishima doesn’t care or isn’t a good boyfriend to you that is a big fat lie and you know it. This boy is super observant. ESPECIALLY when it comes to you.

You’re his baby and the love of his life, and one way he shows his love to you is by paying attention to everything you do and acting accordingly. He’s usually subtle about it though. You shiver? Oh, look extra hoodie. Tense up when one of your classmates approaches the two of you? Oh no something came up with the team and you’re both required to solve it.

Slight rant aside, he notices immediately that something is wrong. It may take him a little bit to figure out what exactly but he’s looking into it immediately. By the end of the day, he’s checked with your friends if anything is bothering you, he’s found out whether or not you are behind on work or if school is stressing you out. But nothing.

Luckily for him, it was Friday, thus, he was coming over to your house after school (practice). Usually, he’d come over and do some homework then you’d watch a movie together and honestly you could use some affection right now.

When he arrived at your house you were already showered, dressed and waiting at the table to start your homework. He came in and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and sat down across from you, he’d already changed into casual clothes after practice.

Tsukishima exalted deeply for the first time that day and let himself relax now that he was alone with you. He’d spent his entire day trying to figure out what was up since you’d been acting weird for a little while now and he was back to square one. Nobody he’d asked knew anything that might have upset you, and he’d asked a lot of people. More accurately he’d asked Yamaguchi to since he knew people found Tadashi less intimidating. However, he still hadn’t had any luck in narrowing down the issue.

You seemed to be focused on whatever work you where doing so he decided to do some of his own work and ask you about it during the movie. He pulled out his maths book and a pencil from his pocket to begin working on the algebra homework.

After around thirty minutes of working together with some lofi playing in the background and occasionally asking for help from one another, his pencil lead snapped in the middle of an equation. Slightly irritated, he went to his bag to retrieve a sharpener but couldn’t find his pencil case. Shit, he must have left it in his desk. Oh well, he won’t need it till Monday anyway.

  “Hey, Shortcake,” that stupid nickname he’d gave’ you made you look over to him “do you have a pencil sharpener? My pencil case is at school.” At the mention of a sharpener, you squeaked out no far too quickly. Okay, somethings up. He’s sure of it now. 

So he gently set down his pencil and placed one of his hands on yours. When you looked up and made eye contact you could see how concerned he looked. Though it isn’t just concern, there’s something soft and loving there too. It’s because of this that you just aren’t able to break the eye contact, even though you’d much rather check your house slippers for bits of dust. 

“Baby,” he starts softly, “I know somethings up. You’ve been different for a few days now. And as long as you’ve been in my class you’ve never forgotten your stationary. Do you want to talk about it? Or we could do something else if you want.” By now there were tears beginning to slowly roll down your cheeks and Kei had gotten up to wrap you up in a hug. “Come one baby.” he says as he guides you over to the couch to sit down.

Once he had you settled in beside him he started to rub gentle circles on your back and waited patiently for you to calm down enough to talk to him. Once you had calmed down a little you began to explain everything. From the thoughts of self-harm to avoiding anything sharp or dangerous just in case. And he just sat there and listened. All the while gently rubbing circles and patterns into your back. He listened to every word you said and took it all in making sure to give little nods or hums of acknowledgement, enough to let you know he was listening without interrupting you.

When you’d finally finished telling you everything he simply scooped you up in his arms and hugged you as tight as he could. “Baby, Y/n. I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong and I’m so glad you didn’t do anything.” he gently kissed the top of your head and whispered, “I love you so much.” 

You snuggled further into him and he turned the tv to your comfort movie, even if he didn’t love it or would much rather watch a documentary about dinosaurs.

Sakusa

Sakusa is another boy who people wrongly assume is a bad partner. I object. Although he is slightly more hesitant when it comes to physical affection in public he’s one of the best boyfriends you could ever ask for.

Generally, when the two of you hang out he has a routine to ensure there is no fear around germs and he can be as affectionate as he wants. You both take showers and change into freshly washed clothes when you arrive at either home before you spend time together.

Because of how naturally observant this boy is, and the number of showers he’s had to take at your house he has your shower products almost memorised. He knows what they are, what they do and where they go. Honestly when you’re running low on something he’s more likely to notice than you are. And of course, being the loving boyfriend he is, he’ll remind you to add it to your shopping list or even go shopping with you.

This mans love language is probably quality time or acts of service, so if there’s an opportunity to give you a hand or just spend time with you he’ll take it.

Today was just another day, well not exactly, Sakusa was coming to spend some time with you today, which honestly was not rare at all. You had both fallen into a steady routine of taking showers and changing before spending time together. He would never ask you to do it but you knew it made him more comfortable. Plus he far preferred your shower to the locker room one.

So as always he walks into your house, puts his bag on the table and walks to your bathroom to take a shower. When he’s in the shower he notices that your razor is missing from its normal spot. He thought that was a little bit odd. Mostly because he has never seen your razor missing before. Any time he noticed something was missing before it was always just running low on shampoo, or body wash or only having one bar of soap left.

It isn’t that weird so he just makes a note to himself to remind you about it later like he always does. Once he’s finished and changed into his favourite sweats and second favourite hoodie (you’re currently wrapped up in his favourite). He goes to your room and curls up beside you as you’re preparing to put on a movie.

By the time Sakusa had remembered what he needed to remind you of the movie had been playing for around 20 minutes. So he decides to just wait until after the movie to bring it up. With that decision made he just decides to focus on the movie and how you feel giving him cuddles.

After the movie was all finished and you and Omi where cleaning up, when he brought up the missing razor. “Hey baby, remember to add razors to your shopping list. Yours is missing” he mentioned as he placed your throw pillows back on your bed. He paused in the middle of fixing your pillows, that was not the reaction he expected. Something was up. When he turned around and saw you near tears he rushed over to check on you.

“Baby, talk to me whats wrong?” hes says in the most soothing voice he can muster when he reaches you. You dont respond, just crying a little harder and hugging him back. “Its,” you sniffled a little, “its nothing Omi. Ill be fine” you sniffled again trying desperately to pull yourself together.

Sakusa pulled out the handkerchief he kept for you in his pocket. And by the time you'd told him everything he was crying too holding you. "it's gonna be alright baby. I'm here, we're gonna get through this together."

You fell asleep holding together, knowing that you weren't alone. And wouldn't be as long as you have him and he isn't leaving any time soon

[now-im-a-belieber]

Hii❤️ can j please request "i love you so much that it terrifies me" with Bill? Thank you❤️

prompt: "i love you so much that it terrifies me"

bill guarnere x female!reader

a/n: annnnd im back to writing angst! don't worry the ending is mostly happy and i kind of have an idea for a part 2?! but here's this for now, i'm kinda proud o' this one!

taglist: @capsparkyspeirs @wecomrades @tvserie-s-world @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant

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Your enlistment was nothing short of a miracle.

It happened during the last attempt you'd given yourself out of about a dozen other times. The officer, who'd become used to you storming up to his desk every other day, sighed upon noticing your return this time. Until then, he'd only ever glance your way and then back down at whatever work lay upon his desk. But this time, he sighed. 

Hell, so what if you'd worn him down more so than convinced him you were fit to fight? He'd finally agreed to let you sign your name on the dotted line. 

"Fine." The officer said. "You wanna prove something so badly, go on, prove it." And he went on to ramble about how he wouldn't be surprised to find you back home in a week's time after failing to meet any requirements at Toccoa. 

"War is no place for women." He huffed, finally. 

"Then I'd better hurry and get out there. Since anyone who shares your ideals clearly has no fight left in them on the behalf of people like me."

You brushed off his discouragement and marched home to the beat of your ever quickening heart. Bill was certainly going to have a lot to say about this. But so were you... 

He was packing when you arrived. There were no more days left until Bill was due at the training camp. Just one night's rest. The last night you'd planned to spend together for only God knew how long.

But before any goodbyes could begin, you hovered in the bedroom doorway with news to share. Better to get this out in the open and out of the way... 

"I got in." You breathed, stood with the confirmation papers in your vice grip, like if you let go of them they'd cease being tangible. 

"You got in?" Bill repeated in monotone. You weren't expecting a fight. You'd actually thought Bill would burst at the seams with pride and joy, like he said he would when you first wondered aloud, if your joining up was wise.

But then he repeated the same sentence in some kind of realization. And there was a smile affecting his tone as he spoke in the charming draw you'd always adored. He abandoned his poorly packed bags and swept across the room to stand before you, with a gleam in his eye. And then came his rambles of praise and excitement. Telling you he knew you'd make it. Telling you he'd be right behind you every step, ready to give hell to anyone who might try and break you down along the way.

You let your man fawn and flatter you, but knew this night couldn't end without  making yourself perfectly clear.

"That's the thing though." You revealed with a shaky breath. You hadn't thought much about how to say this. But you knew you had too. 

"Your help.... I don't think it would help. Bill, I have to do this on my own. The officer's right. I *do* have something to prove. And I don't want anyone thinking I made it to where I'm headed because my boyfriend knocked enough barriers out of my way." 

You didn't wanna fight. You desperately didn't want this to be a fight. But this was something you were sure of. So you braced yourself at the sight of your man's jaw clenching. 

And there was no hiding the flash of sadness in Bill's eye's, though sadness for what, you couldn't be exactly sure. As you held your breath, you watched as Bill slowly relaxed his shoulders. And through the pregnant silence that had settled, he reached out to you and said, "Alright, doll." 

"Alright?" You wondered in suspicion. That was almost too easy.

"I know you ain't gonna change your mind about somethin' this important to ya." Bill pointed. 

So then it was decided. You'd be headed to the same place with the same goal with the person you'd loved longer than you had fingers to count on. But you wouldn't let on that you'd known Bill long before stepping foot onto the camp grounds. After a while longer of your making your aspirations clear, Bill promised he understood. And you hoped your selfish determination wouldn't be misconstrued. 

And still, your man went on another monolog about how proud of you he was. 

"But if ya think I won't be around every corner waitin' up to steal you away, you'd better think again." Bill kissed your head and coaxed you to bed, reminding you this was the last of night's like these. 

So you stayed entirely swept up in Bill's orbit. Talk of what things would be like quickly washed away by your appreciation for the moment Bill implored you to stay focused on. This was the last of night's like these indeed...

///

He'd been at Toccoa for a week already. You realized entirely, that your late joining would affect you just as negatively as every other aspect of your joining at all. 

But this only made you want it worse than ever. Not just to prove yourself. Not just to prove others wrong. But you felt the desire to be a part of this for reasons much more profound than you'd ever had the means to understand for yourself, let alone explain to anyone. 

So you followed every rule like it was do or die. From which path to walk to find your barracks- to the drills you were sent to practice before you'd so much as stepped out of the cab ride here. 

And to your surprise, you seemed to blend into the background of things. There were no gasps or whispers traded as you found your place among the men. 

It was hard to tell if they could care less about your presence, or if they collectively, subconsciously, decided to freeze you out; finding it the easiest way to focus on reigning supreme themselves. 

And it was just as you'd gotten used to the silence you'd been receiving, when you saw him. Your man. Your Bill, yakin' with some fellas who reminded you of the kids you'd hung around the school yard with, back home. 

And at the sight of the man you'd loved for so long, after a fortnight gone from his side, you were inclined to run into his loving arms- despite your fuss made about keeping a distance. 

And then he saw you, too. And the bunch he was with had begun walking off. Bill seemed to turn, to follow along, in a moment that sent your heart to plummet. But over his shoulder Bill shot you a wink and a sly smile. 

And something about the smile he gave you beyond the space he respected made your heart rise back up and melt all the while. And you realized he was completely on your side. How did you get so lucky?

Things went on like that for a couple weeks. Most of the company would pay you no mind. This meant your accomplishments seemed invisible and the times you might've been bold enough to ask for a helping hand fell on deaf ears.

But some started to pester you, unable to hold back their snide remarks any longer. An odd pride swelled within you, when your existence started becoming meaningful enough to irk them. And eventually, a few of the sweeter souls seemed to recognize that you were, in fact, a human, just as eager to be a part of the great big fight as they were. 

So with the few friends you'd made, you'd found occasional moments of respite side by side. But of course, there was one soldier who managed to hold your attention everyday- though you were damn good at pretending this wasn't so.

Bill, on the other hand, couldn't be stopped from shouting encouragement across obstacle courses and casting longing stares across the dining hall. And some of the guys you'd started getting on with kept cracking jokes about how Bill must've had some secret crush on you. In a way, they weren't wrong. And the whole act was almost a little bit fun.

Bill went as far as introducing himself to you, acting a bigger flirt than you'd ever recalled him acting when he was very first pursuing you- which was really saying something. 

And when the pair of you managed to sneak off on those weekends you were set free, it was almost as if you'd never been parted at all. Bill would trace patterns across your skin and laugh with you about nothing into the night, like always. 

And every one of those rare opportunities ended by you asking if he was still alright with this whole strange arrangement you'd created. And Bill assured he was fine to sit back and watch you out run easy company's fastest sprinters, and give Shifty's near perfect shooting record a little competition. Bill knew you were on a personal mission to accomplish all the things you knew you could, without any implications. But you *were* starting to miss him.

Because those days and nights where you got to steal a moment of Bill's time were becoming sparse. And your rough plans together were almost always thwarted- by surprise drills and punishments. 

And it came as a shock to no one that you'd most often get the worst of it from Sobel. His unhinged language somehow sunk lower when aimed at you. You knew his demeaning of your gender was intended to break you down. But you didn't let it. His discipline was often set up for you to fail, and make a fool of yourself. But you powered through the worst of it, and shot the bastard a grin each time you managed to come out on top of each ridiculous task. If you hadn't been motivated to push yourself before, you'd become mad to gain power by now.

Trouble was, on the few nights Bill made a point to sneak into your bunk, there was just no time for much besides dutifully listening to him drone on about how he missed you.

You'd been made to double your workload when everyone else got the rare chance to take it easy.  And during then, Bill sought you out, like he once promised he would. And though you couldn't help but appreciate the nights he offered to stay up with you; to help finish some nightmarish task made to drive you to throwing in the towel- you sent him away. Bill would argue that any fight you had to face was his fight too. And you argued back that you thought he'd promised he understood that you were dead set on coming through this on your own.

Some mornings he'd let his hand squeeze your own below the table in the dining hall; while the others were busy fighting over desserts. But you eventually started shooting down Bill's attempts to display even the smallest affection- feeling strangely endangered by and entirely undeserving of his kind attention, at least until you earned your wings. 

Those moments were already so few. And eventually they ceased all together, and the weeks started to fly by. Before you knew it, the time that had passed almost seemed to push the two of you further apart. Bill would be sent on one exercise while you were banished elsewhere. And on and on, until d-day.

As you slipped into your gear, a pit grew in your gut. Not for fear of what might be to come, but because you couldn't find Bill. And you *needed*to find him before thing's got even more complicated.

The sight of the man boarding a separate plane only brought you a blink of relief. But hardly so, it was no goodbye. Only confirmation that he was headed toward the same fate as you.

You were pushed onto your own flight, and the worry within you increased ten fold.

As the plane idled, some men chattered to ease their nerves. Their conversation had passed through one of your ears and out of the other, until you heard Bill's name repeated a couple of times. 

"What's his problem? Seems to be more of a bitch than usual." One of them griped, wondering about the state of your man. It made you sick to realize you hadn't been near enough to him to realize he'd been in a strange mood, for a while.

"Yeah, well you'd be a bitch too if you found out your brother died, just before your flight out to hell." Johnny Martin pipped up. His tone more defensive than usual. You couldn't help but gawk at the peevish soldier who'd often, perplexingly, been kind to you. Had he really just said what you thought he said?

"Bill's brother?" You begged to know, trying quickly to hide the way your face fell. 

"Yeah. He was killed in Italy, somewhere." Martin informed, keeping a quizzical eye on you. 

"I see." You played, shoving all the terror and hurt deep deep down. There simply was no time to feel such things, and certainly not enough time for an explanation, should you start to lose it a little.  

Before you knew it you were rocketing toward the ground and scrambling through tall grass to find a familiar face. Smoke and flames led your way, and one day and night passed before you saw your man again- two days that seemed to pass slower than years and decades. 

And when you did spot Bill, he was relaxing with some of the others on the steps of a blown up building; and some horrid resistance within you grew stronger than the usual natural instinct to run into his embrace. The mixed emotions caused a cry to lodge itself in your throat, but you wouldn't let it out of course. 

And by then Bill had made his way close enough to you to notice the sheen of tears you were reluctant to let fall.

"Still blerry eye'd from that shit storm we dived into, huh?" He nudged your side with his elbow and the smile he wore was gentle and encouraging despite the mayhem that had shadowed your senses, and his no doubt, for days now.

"You didn't tell me about your brother." You spoke in a whisper that came out in more of a hiss, unintentionally. 

"Yeah, well you didn't tell me goodbye. But who's countin'?" Bill shot back, not speaking in anger so much as dejection. The two of you stood holding each others gaze for the first time in longer than just the two days you'd been separated. 

"So what are we gonna do?" Bill wondered. But the ending of his statement was drowned out by the officers shouting for your company to fall out. 

And for weeks that was as good as it got. The looks you shared across rooms were scant. And if there was ever time you might've had to find each other and sort things, you didn't take it- too terribly afraid he'd tell you how horribly you'd been treating him and break your heart in the middle of this already loveless bedlam.

It was all your fault, creating this chasm between the two of you and having no clue how to close it up. You'd walked around it many a time and met on the edge but the space was only growing.

The distance you insisted upon at first was never supposed to last this long but it seemed to have found a permanent place between you.

And what was worse, were the instances Bill found himself at your side- sharing silence on patrols and long rides from one place to another.

He was right in your reach. Just like he promised to always be. But that only made the storm of emotion within you seem to rage even wilder. 

By the time your company had reached Belgium, you'd convinced yourself that everything you'd once shared with Bill was long gone. For all the times you failed to reach out to him, Bill seemed to pass up reaching out to you all the same.   

Until one night. You were headed back from viewing some old film with a few of the guys who'd become used to your presence. There were still a few troopers who grimaced at the sight of you mixed in battle near them. But there were more who'd been proud to fight beside you, and invited you to take in a film on one lucky night off. 

Bill was among them, listening to their banter while you lagged behind the bunch. You'd been certain that he'd finally crossed over to the side if the men who'd found it easier to turn a blind eye your way. But then

your crew rounded the corner of some weather worn barn. And Bill broke away from the group and stopped you from walking on-  grabbing you by the elbow and gently holding you to stall.

"Bill, I don't think-" you began, croaking past the ever present lump in your throat. Worried that the others would hear should you start to bicker. You didn't care what they knew, anymore. Only hoped to prevent any further upset. There was already so much sorrow you're lot had to carry and sort through.  And selfishly, you couldn't dream of stirring up any more upset. 

"Shaddup. This ain't how it's gonna be no more." Bill returned, his voice full and insistent. He still held one of your arms and brought his other hand to follow suit. 

You were too stunned by his insistence and his closeness after so much confusion that you keep your mouth shut. 

"I miss you, damn it."

Your brow furrowed at his gentle confession and your mouth hovered open. Too many words jammed in your throat but you manage to stammer out the one's that reign truest.

"I miss you too." 

Bill's worry seemed to fade into relief. His eyes shut as he brought his lips to your head, like he always used to do. And you let him.

"Well, we can't have that." You closed your eyes then, as he spoke against your temple and ran his hand up to your shoulders, bringing his fingers to hold your face. You let Bill lean in for a real kiss, feather light and sweet as ever. And you didn't try and stop as he followed behind on your decided way back toward your billet. 

But as you turned the corner at last, a drunken member of your company stopped you from walking further.

Cobb stood in the middle of the rest of the path, sipping from a foreign bottle. He never liked you much. Before you could shove past the guy, he spoke up.

"Who the fuck do you two think you are?" Cobb spat, eyeing Bill past your shoulder. "What makes either of you think you deserve happiness, let alone love? In the palm of your hand in the middle of all this? It's audacious. You disgust me." Perhaps Cobb had seen the way Bill had only just so tenderly held you. Or perhaps he was just on another senseless bender.

Either way, you let your eye's roll and breezed on by, leaving the drunken fool behind. He didn't let Bill pass so easily, though, slurring something about your character in the face of the man who'd so far unconditionally loved you. 

"Get fucked, Cobb. Maybe that stick up your ass'll come lose, then." Bill pushed past the soldier who'd been insulted enough to shut his mouth. But his alcohol fueled barb rang in your ears the rest of the walk to the place you were headed.

The walk was quiet. And you debated over speaking your mind even as you crept into the room. It had to be done, you realized. The room was empty of listening ear, and equipped with a door to shut the world out. You and Bill hadn't had many chances like this in a year or so. And you knew fate had designed this opportunity, a chance to finally say everything that you hadn't been able to. 

"Bill." You stared, turning to face your man after you'd turned the lock on the door. He stood with his arms crossed as if to brace for impact. 

"Maybe Roy wasn't wrong."

Bill shook his head as you spoke and met you in the middle of the room where you'd stood.

"I just got you back. You're nuts if ya think I'm gonna let you slip away from me again."

"But I didn't slip away!" You corrected with urgency. "I pushed you away. More than a couple of times!" 

"Maybe, but you had a good reason." Bill  assured, his eyes going wide under his strong furrowed brow. 

"No, I had a selfish reason. And Cobb might be a drunk asshole but he's right! I don't deserve you, not now!"

"Fuck that guy. He gets a say in what happens to us? Don't fuckin' think so. You're not walkin' away from me after all this time just cause some pessimistic asshole-"

As Bill shouted, you lost all the strength you'd been enforcing to keep from falling apart over this. Your throat burned as a pathetic sob escaped and hot tears ran down your face. 

What had started as some mechanism you'd used to get through training turned into something bigger and uglier. This was war. This was what it turned you into. Some selfish monster greeded for more credit when you'd already earned your place. 

You'd pushed Bill away time and again and you knew he had to be near his breaking point. He proved so tonight, by grabbing you close and demanding you not stray so far again, like you'd ever really come back from doing so.

And what was worse than the realization that you'd pushed him away, was the realization that Bill might not always come back. And what if you couldn't change? What if, on your road back to being less selfish, he'd finally realize you weren't worth the chase?

"I fucked up." You admitted, heaving the realization through sobs. "Oh God, Bill, please don't leave me."

"Hello? You heard a thing I've been sayin'?" Bill rang, reaching out to you much like he did not even an hour ago. One set of fingers came to lovingly brush the tears still rolling from your eyes. And then he held your head in his hands so you'd look at him as he spoke up. 

"It's always gonna be you. That's what I'm put here fightin' for. Even when you get all determined and leave me in the dust. Hell, I'm so in love with you it terrifies me, doll. Scares me that one day you'll get too good at bein' on your own, and leave me, all alone, still be fightin'." Bill poured forth, searching your gaze as he spoke. 

"Point is, I'll always be on your team. You just gotta let me stay cheerin' you on, damn it."

You nodded and tried to swallow your emotions to no avail. And finally just let yourself cry again as you repeated to Bill how sorry you were. He wrapped you in his embrace and let you lose it. 

"I'll do better." You swore, meeting his eyes. 

"Just feel better, for now, huh? That'll make me a happy man." 

You didn't deserve Bill. But damn it, if he'd still have you, you'd be right there ready to cherish his very existence with each set and rise of the sun. You both agreed that there was no way either of you could make it through the rest of this hell without one another close by. 

And you figured some of the guys had already pieced together that there was something between you and the man with an unforgiving nickname. And, apparently, Bill had entrusted Babe Heffron with his entire life story by now. That explained the curious glances the replacement had now and again thrown your way.

To hell with what anyone might've made of the two of you. To hell with any future or past where Bill wasn't in step with you. 

The next night your company was hauled off toward the forest without a coat to trade between the lot of you. Teeth chattered and breath fogged the freezing air. But Bill clasped his hand in yours, and an incomparable warmth spread across everything that made you whole. 

Some new kid was the subject of the company's pestering tonight, but it hardly lasted. Spirit's settled and someone near the front of the ride seemed to rhetorically wonder about home, and what it would be like to get back.

Some men answered, voicing hopes and dreams of the future. You only turned to look right at Bill, who already had his sights set on you. And then you realized, nothing much had really changed. You'd always been lucky with Bill at your side. God how you'd be glad to let it last...

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol��what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[tearsofgrace]

written for suptober day 8: heartless word count: 1k

also, i haven’t watched the new ep yet, but i’m about too lol

ALSO THIS IS LEGITIMATE FLUFF LIKE IM NOT KIDDING YOU THIS TIME

Dean peered over his cards, a smile touching the corner of his lips. He’d gotten extremely lucky tonight. Every new hand added to his growing pile of chips, and Cas was getting extremely frustrated. Which was adorable, of course. 

“Dean, I know you’re bluffing.” 

“Sure, angel. Just keep telling yourself that.”

“This game isn’t really meant for two people anyway.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and started a new bottle of beer. “You can leave you know.” 

Cas furrowed his brow and pushed two chips into the pot, matching Dean’s bet. Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and flipped the turn card. 

Yeah. He was gonna win this one. 

Cas checked and Dean let him think he was safe before flipping the final card. He had four of a kind, and he could read the angel like a book. He had nothing. 

Cas bet one and Dean called before laying his cards on the table with a smirk. 

And of course, the angel didn’t say anything. Just wordlessly pushed the pot toward Dean. And of course, Dean made a show of it. Examining every chip as he stacked them neatly in front of him. 

“You’re heartless, you know that?” Cas said gruffly. 

“Aw, you love me anyway,” Dean said.

Shit. 

How the fuck did he let that one slip out? He knew Cas loved him of course. Like a brother. Like he loved Sam. But now that he’d said it he was sure his thoughts were transparent. This bliss that had settled over them since they beat Chuck, this very tenuous happiness since they’d gotten rid of Cas’ deal with the empty, it was all about to come crashing down. 

It took a minute before he remembered to breathe. And then he realized Cas hadn’t said anything. 

Shit.

“I-” he started, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I do love you, Dean.” Cas was staring at him, a soft smile on his face. 

Dean cleared his throat and looked away, his face burning. “Yeah, I, uh, I love you too, buddy.” 

Cas reached across the table and gently covered Dean’s hand, the one clutching onto his beer like it was a life saver, with his own. If Dean had looked over at him, he was sure he would have had a stroke. As it was, his heart just stopped. 

“No, Dean. I’m in love with you.” 

“What?” His wheels spun rapidly, nothing clicking, nothing adding up. Cas didn’t know what he was saying, what he was doing. 

“I’m in love with you,” Cas repeatedly simply. 

Dean met his eyes, panic taking his breath away and sending his heart beating heavily against his chest. Because this… this was too much. They didn’t talk about this because if they had this, then they could lose it. And he couldn’t lose him, not like this. But looking into Cas’ steady blue eyes, feeling his hand on his, everything slowed. 

All the doubts, all the worries, all the fears faded to the background. Still there, but just a dull clamour undercutting something much more powerful. Undercutting the beautiful, simple, deafening sound of love. So it was easy. For once, he just let the walls slip down. 

“I love you too.” 

Cas smiled. A real smile, too. Or for him it was anyway. His teeth barely showed and his eyes lit up and he looked so fucking happy that Dean wanted to climb across the table and kiss him right then. But he contented himself with intertwining their fingers and staring into his eyes. 

“Did you,” Dean hesitated. He didn’t want to ruin this, to turn this into a fight, but he had to know. “Did you know?” 

Cas smile faded into a small smirk. “Yes.”

Dean felt his face heat up and he drew back a little, but Cas held his hand firmly. 

“I never try to read your thoughts, Dean.” He paused to think, inclining his head. “Well, almost never. Not about serious things. But, sometimes you think very loudly.”

“Then why didn’t you-”

“I knew you weren’t ready. And now we’ve defeated Chuck. Sam and Jack are okay. Maybe we can be happy.” 

Dean let himself laugh at that. Dammit, so Cas had known this whole time. It didn’t matter though, at least they could be happy now. His mind backtracked a little, everything blending together as he tried to keep up. “What did you mean you almost never try to read my thoughts?” 

Cas’ face went deadly serious. Too serious. Lips parted, eyes narrowed, eyebrows down, yeah something was up. Dean watched as his eyes trailed slowly down to the poker chips, and then it clicked. 

“You were reading my cards?” he shouted, his unclaimed hand coming up to point at Cas. He cast him an accusing glare while the angel just stared back at him, totally deadpan. 

“I’m an angel of the Lord,” he said. And even today, years later, the words sent shivers down Dean’s spine. 

“Asshole,” he muttered, trying to fight the blush rising in his cheeks. “And you called me heartless, too. I’m hurt, Cas. Hurt.” Even as he tried to stay serious, another broad grin broke over his face. Everything was dreamy, moving too fast, his ears rang with I’m in love with you.

“My apologies,” Cas said. But this time, he couldn’t keep the smirk off his face. 

They just stayed there, hands connected, staring into each other’s eyes, both fighting smiles. When Sam walked in, Dean was tempted to jump up. To pretend that things were normal, that the biggest unspoken not-secret of the last eleven years wasn’t out in the open. 

But he didn’t. He just looked up at Sam and down at his and Cas’ hands, daring him to comment. 

Sam stared at them for a minute, his face unreadable. Then his face broke out in a giant grin. 

And when he spoke, it wasn’t what Dean though it would be. It wasn’t gloating, or a long-suffering “finally,” or even confusion. 

He just smiled, broader than Dean had seen in a while, and said, “I’m proud of you, Dean.” 

tag list [ask to be added or removed!]

@fandomstuff67 @menjiiii @witchyanaels @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @samhainsam @ghostsforcas @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @hallowena @spooky-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Tell Me You Hate Me

Summary:   Story contains some intense intrusive thoughts, please mind the tags. Remus always has episodes where his emotions seem to completely shut down, leaving nothing but thoughts pounding in his skull begging for a reaction. When he finally breaks down, Logan is there to hold him together.

Warnings: intrusive thought, implied self bruising, depictions of violence and death, hurt with comfort, mild swearing

Ships: Logan x Remus, Intrulogical

WC: 3, 602

General Taglist: (ask to be tagged generally or in specific writing.) @im-an-anxious-wreck

Remus huffed as he flopped over to his other side yet again, kicking his feet out from underneath them and burying his face into his pillow. Finding it still too hot he quickly picked his head up and flipped the pillow to the cooler side, flopping face first this time as he fought to quiet his groan. Squeezing his eyes shut tight did nothing unfortunately and neither did leaving indents in his palms from his fingernails. Flopping over onto his back he tried taking deep, calming breaths- something Virgil had said sometimes helped them sleep- but he gave up after a few minutes. Shadows from the corners of his room licked at the edge of the safety of his bed and a spike of anxiety in his chest forced his feet back under the covers. A stupid false sense of security that died along with the anxiety as quickly as it had made itself known. The dull buzz of his fan did nothing to drown the ringing in his ears and he wiggled a bit to get the sheets unstuck from his back as his newest position began to get uncomfortable.

He closed his eyes again and sighed deeply before throwing the blankets to the floor and hurrying to the light switch to flick it on. Eyes still shut he stumbled into the hallway running his hand along the wall for a sense of direction wanting nothing more but a spike of caffeine to jump start the day. He left the kitchen light off since he didn't actually know how early it was and didn't want to wake Logan, instead holding his hand out and shuffling forward until his toe stubbed the bottom of the cabinets. Swearing he placed his hands on the counter and felt around until he found the coffee pot, finally deciding to open his eyes to the dim room so he didn't end up smashing the pot and getting glass in his feet...again. Filling it with water and grounds was simple enough, the routine so ingrained he had to force himself to actually concentrate on the action instead of drifting off into his own head again.

Briefly he thought about wedging his head under the spout and letting the freshly brewed coffee flow down his throat but he decided he liked the new creamer they had gotten too much to attempt that this time. Idly picking at his fingertips while he waited he glanced out the window of the shared apartment and wondered how hard it would be to climb down the building from there. Realistically he could do it- just squat in the sink and back up as carefully as he could to find footholds and balance. The thought of neighbors seeing a random ass sticking out of a window, wiggling as he got into a better position brought a flicker of a grin to his face, but the thought of then someone calling the police to report a break-in and the subsequential argument hed most likely have with Logan over his reasoning it had seemed like a good idea made him dismiss the thought immediately. Things were already on the rockier side with his husband, he didn't need something else making him regret he had ever proposed to Remus.

Things weren't at all bad in their marriage, new as it was and with as small of a space they shared. Remus just went through moods- quiet ones where he was mostly lost in his head and didn't want to make things tense by finding his way out of it. Moods where everything was exhausting, even engaging in activities with someone he loved more than anything else in the world seemed dull and tiring. He'd never tell Logan that, never even think about hurting him that badly, but sometimes he got so tired it was all he could do to get out of bed. And now his emotions were broken again and that certainly didn't help anything.

It didn't happen often, but every once in a while for whatever reason his brain had thought of, he couldn't feel anything. Not even sadness. Smiles were hard, crying was harder, brief spikes of anxiety died before he could think about them and anger or irritation which he usually relied on in these states were so far away he couldn't even think of what to do to make them appear. His world was dull and heavy and numb, pressing in from all sides in a way that would have been overwhelming if he could care to put any name to it. Instead he grew quiet, filing away thoughts and feelings to deal with when he could actually grasp them. Logan noticed; of course he did he noticed everything. Usually all Remus really needed was space and a little time to get his bearings. He would stay in bed a lot, even if he didn't manage to sleep, and watch youtube videos at random for hours on end until Logan came in with water or food or a reminder to get up and stretch. Remus would get up stiffly and stretch for a moment, maybe go to the bathroom, eat, drink and then go right back to curl as tight as he could under the blankets to blankly stare at the screen. He'd hear a soft sigh and feel fingers run gently through his tangled hair before the door would shut once again and he'd be left alone to his nothing and cold and numb and thoughts.

The thoughts were the worst even if he didn’t attach anything to them. Constant and intrusive and violent as they were they didn't even make him afraid anymore. It often seemed, in whatever fucked up process his brain had made up, that if his emotions shut down the intrusive thoughts needed to step up to compensate. Usually nothing more than a suggestive buzz in the background he had long ago learned to simply brush off they became a battering ram against the inside of his skull that he had to actively reason his way through to stop the twitch in his muscles. Boiling water for tea became sticking his hands in his pocket so he didn't stick it in the pan to watch burn and stick to the bottom, flesh pulling like hot cheese until it snapped away from his muscles and left his blood to be boiled by the heat. The want to tip his chair back became his teeth frigging as a graphic image of his head cracked open like an egg and leaking through the carpet presented itself to him like a proud child with macaroni art. A constant barrage of images and impulses that left him exhausted rather than disturbed and made him simply want to sleep them all away, which of course was when the insomnia kicked in and left him making coffee at- his eyes snapped to the oven clock and he sighed tiredly- 4:30 on the morning.

Thanking whatever gods were real it was a Saturday morning he brought down a mug and filled it with coffee and an obscene amount of creamer, chugging it in seconds and ignoring the sickly sweet taste before getting a refill and shambling to the couch to turn on the news. The news always had something going on lately and he was hoping it would be enough to distract from the thoughts of smashing his head through the glass coffee table or making another pot of coffee to chug through. Granted the latter was the better option of the two should he make it a choice but he knew his limit with caffeine and wasn't keen on his heart thumping in his chest throughout the day when he had no energy to do anything with the fake adrenaline rush.

"Remus?" The man winced as he heard Logan's sleepy voice in the hallway and turned to see him walking to the couch, face pinched in concern. "Are you alright? It's nearly five in the morning."

Running his dry tongue over even drier lips Remus nodded. "I uh- I was gonna go on a run today. Get out of the house you know- and I thought an early start might be good."

Logan studied his face carefully, though thankfully not seeming to notice the deep bruises under his eyes in the shifting light of the tv. Remus offered a weak smile and gripped his mug tighter, firmly dismissing the thought to smash it over Logan's head while Logan stepped back and nodded tiredly.

"I'm going to sleep for a bit longer. Please be careful Remus, I love you."

"Love you too, Logan." Remus turned away before he could see any more puty in Logan's eyes, anger licking up from his stomach but he simply clutched his mug to dissipate it before it could take hold, not that it really could. He listened as the footsteps died and the others door was shut, bringing the mug up and chugging the rest of it. Groaning slightly he realized he'd actually have to go out now, he couldn't lie to Logan anymore than he already had. Screwing his mouth to one side he decided biking would be easier. More chances to simply coast and he could wear his headphones without risk of his phone bouncing out of his pocket. Figuring he may as well go now rather than wait, since if he did he was sure he'd simply go back to curl up in bed, he quickly tidied up the kitchen and went to throw some clothes and a helmet on. Tugging his bike out of the hall closet he found himself on the street without quite remembering how he'd gotten there but in the end he supposed it didn't matter. This early in the morning there was virtually no one on the sidewalks giving him ample space to go as fast as he wanted down the hill. Hed ride back up the hill on his way back so he'd get some actual exercise to make up for just coasting for about a quarter mile later.

The wind was on his face before he even registered he had started heartbeat picking up slightly as the buildings on his right began to whip past faster and faster. He contemplated breaking a bit to slow down but his thoughts suddenly demanding he do a hard break, making him flip over the handlebars and skid into the road made him dismiss it quickly. Hed slow down eventually and he was fine for now. The streets were quiet and dark, the air was cool but the wind was so cold it felt like needles against his face. He probably should have worn at least a jacket from the way his arms were going numb but dismissing it was so much easier than thinking about how tiring it would be to turn around, go all the way back to his building, back up the stairs and into his room to get a jacket and gloves- and by that time he'd just went to stay in bed anyway since that would be closer so there really wasn't any point. The fold felt nice, it as waking him up along with the coffee and his heart was thumping loudly in his ears drowning out any thoughts that might slip through and his hands were gripping the handle bars so tight his cold knuckles were a stark white-

Instinct swerved his bike and slammed the breaks before he even noticed the truck speeding down the road. The driver didn't even acknowledge him as his hands slipped off the handle bars and his vision grew spotty. The sudden panic felt distant, dull and unimportant even as his breathing sped up and a thought rose up that told him he could have died: images of his cold body splayed in front of a sideways truck slammed it's way through to the front of his mind, blood pooled around the driver’s feet as his panicked voice called for help. Distantly Logan's screams could be heard as footsteps ran to his unresponsive body and everything was simply white and static and cold. The sound of another car's horn snapped him back to himself suddenly, looking around in confusion as he saw how light it had gotten and the quiet streets now coming to life with people Getting off night shift or waking up for their morning shift or running to coffee shops. His sweat soaked hands were nearly frozen on the handlebars and when he tried moving his legs he felt like he was trying to tread through a thick vat of glue that threatened to pull him down and under the second he decided to stop fighting. 

As much as he wanted nothing more than to collapse and hope something on his bike punctured a lung on the way down though he simply turned and started back up the hill towards home. He didn’t know how long he had been standing on the sidewalk but he judged it to have been an hour at least with how bright  the sky was now. Hopefully Lgan hadn’t worried too much, the thought bringing a wave of guilt that nearly drove him to his knees with the fierceness with which it crashed onto him but just like with everything else it disappeared almost as quickly as it decided to present itself and Remus was left to simply stare blankly at the concrete before him as his stiff legs took him to Logan step by mind numbing step. He just had to make it to Logan. Logan would know what to do, what to say; Remus knew all he ever had to do was ask. Logan was getting better at asking whenever he needed help so the least Remus could do was show that same courtesy.

 But then- what if he didn’t understand? What if he couldn’t? What if he thought Remus was just crazy or having a mental break or because he couldn’t feel things sometimes Logan thought that meant he didn’t love him anymore? What if he decided to leave? What if he left and Remus was alone with only his thoughts and the cold and-

“Remus?” He snapped his head up at Logan’s voice, a quick brush of panic curling around him as he saw that he was back in the apartment with again no recollection of walking the rest of the way up the block and up the stairs and through the door. Logan was looking at him, that same pitying concern wrinkling his face as he stood in front of Remus with a mug of black coffee held tightly in one hand while the other reached out to him gently. And Remus, with the overwhelming feeling of nothing, nothing, nothing and still frantically beating heart with wild eyes full of tears that hadn’t fallen in a week, couldn’t think of what to say to make anything better for either of them. So he did what he did best.

“Tell me you hate me.” The words blurted out with his characteristic impulsiveness as Logan’s eyes blew wide and he only briefly registered his own surprise before the world turned gray again. Of course, the most painful thing for him to hear is what he wanted. No amount of horror movie jump scares or gore, of late night metal blasting at full volume through his ears, pf slamming his fists repeatedly into his thighs until he could barely walk the next day would be as painful as having someone he had cared about more than anyone else for six years now telling him that they hated him. That they couldn’t stand him because he was useless and unfeeling and so, so stupid to even think someone like them could love someone like him. He needed to hear the words he knew Logan was probably itching for permission to say, and now that he had it he could go all out, and maybe then something could get through his constant swirl of thoughts.

“Please I can’t- I’m so numb Logan. I haven’t felt anything in a week I just need- this is your chance to lay it all out.” Logan considered  him carefully before reaching ver and setting his coffee down on the counter and stepping towards him. Gently, so gently it almost hurt, Logan took both of his hands and tugged, walking backward and around until he could sit them both down on the couch. Squeezing his hands slightly he took them away only to place them gently on with side of Remus’ face and hold him as if he was made of fragile porcelain, thumbs caressing his cheekbones in a steady rhythm that had his heart finally calming down and body relaxing into the touch.

“I love you.”

Remus’ breath caught as he locked eyes with his husband, who was simply smiling gently as him with the same loving look he had been giving him for years. Pressure built behind his eyes suddenly and he widened them to keep it at bay, shaking his head in defiance.

“You are safe. Whatever you’re feeling or not feeling is perfectly alright. You are with your husband who cares for you very much in the apartment we’ve shared for four years. You haven’t been sleeping well which may be contributing to your mental distress but that’s okay too because we can work on fixing that. I could never tell you that I hate you.  Love you more than anything, Remus.”

Remus wasn’t sure why that’s what finally broke him, but the flood of emotions that crashed over him barely gave him time to breath before he gasped out a sob and smashed his face into Logan’s chest. Steady arms wrapped around him in a tight, comforting embrace as his legs were brought over his lap, essentially making Logan cardle him like a child but Remus couldn’t bring himself to care as he gasped and shuddered out weeks worth of pent up emotions that he was just now able to feel and it was too much, too much, too much all at once. His hands came up too fist in Logan’s shirt and snot ran freely down his face and his throat began to ache form the noises desperately escaping his throat. This was too much at once, he couldn’t handle this much at once.

But all the way through it Logan rocked them back and forth, hugging him tightly and whispering how much he was loved and cared for and how much better his life was with Remus in it even if he did leave the cabinet doors open and hog the blankets when they shared a bed. Careful fingers carded through his hair as he was told that it was okay to cry, it was okay to not feel anything or to feel everything and Logan would be there regardless. Logan would be there for him through everything Remus needed as long as Remus needed him for. The rocking and whispering didn’t stop until Remus pulled away, a little ashamed and embarrassed with snot covering his face and hiccups preventing him from saying anything but it was okay because Logan only smiled as him and laid a hand on his cheek before getting up and telling him He’d be right back.

It was only a few seconds before he was back with a cool washcloth pressed to his face, carefully wiping his sore, red eyes and rubbing gently as his cheeks and nose. It ws cool and refreshing and instantly Remus felt better than he had in weeks. His wild curls were brushed out of his face and a kiss was pressed to his forehead before Logan made to leave again, making Remus let out a pathetic whine in protest.

“I’m only going to the kitchen to get you water, Remus. Did you want to come with me?”

As ridiculous as it was, he did. So he slipped his hand into Logan’s and followed him out to the small kitchen, watching as he awkwardly poured a glass of water from the fridge one handed and passed it to Remus who downed it in five seconds and handed it back sheepishly. Receiving only an encouraging smile in return the glass was filled once again before he was tugged back into the living room and sat down on the couch. Logan turned to him and squeezed his hand gently. Always so gently and lovingly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus knew they would have to eventually but he was so tired. Not the kind of tired he had been where everything was exhausting and irritating and just on the side of too much, but the kind of bone tired you can only be after having an emotional breakdown in your husband's arms at eight o’clock in the morning after only getting two hours of sleep the night before. So he shook his head, hoping against all odds Logan could read minds and understand.

To Logan’s credit he picked up that it was something best addressed at a later time, simply nodding again and reaching for the remote. “How about a movie instead then? As a distraction?”

Smiling a tired but genuine smile, Remus nodded and curled up into Logan’s side, eyes slipping shut before he could even see what Logan had picked. But that was fine. The volume was low and Logan’s arm came to wrap around Remus’ shoulder as he drifted off peacefully. He was safe and loved and right now, that was all that mattered.

 I promise I write happy things sometimes XD As always, this work is available with other on AO3!

If you like this, please consider reblogging. Sharing works helps creators.

[blissfulparker]

A little more permanent—Tattooartist!Tom

pairings:tattooartist!tom x innocent!reader   Summary: one night you decide to tattoo tom instead of him tattooing you.  Warnings: some sexual themes A/n: this is not a direct part 2 of tattooed heart but it is a spin off of it. I was never going to make this into a series but just little parts that tie together here and there. I hope you enjoy!! also I know I haven't been doing taglists and im sorry! if you want to be tagged in my works send me an ask! and thank you so much to the anon that suggested this title!

You lay on the dark leather couch of the shop that smells like bleach. The sound of buzzing a rock music fills the place and you wait for tom to be done.

It was what your Sunday’s started to look like, at around 6:30 you would make your way down to the shop to pick up tom. He would often times close up so you were stuck here finishing up some homework, reading up on a book, or even just laying there scrolling through your phone.

It was interesting to see the people come in and out anyways, watch what each person is getting and seeing their reactions, you could see why Tom adores his job so much.

“Alright baby, I’m almost done you wanna head to my room?” He’s taking off his gloves and throwing them into the nearest bin.

You nod closing up your bag as you follow him into his office. You sit down in the tattoo chair and wait for him to clean up. You look over and see a framed picture of the two of you at the beach last month. His arms are wrapped around you and he’s planting a kiss on your cheek, Tessa is in the background and you’ve got the biggest smile. 

“Someone asked me if that was my wife today.” He pointed to the picture you were staring at. He’s got his signature cheeky grin as he wipes down the counter.

“Oh yeah? What’d you say?” You already know his answer but want to hear his cheeky response.

“I told him, ‘yeah and that was our honeymoon’.” He says and you let out a soft laugh. You notice how the gun was still not put away and you almost let your fingers run over it. “You want one real quick?” He asks and you shake your head.

“No, I just—what if I did one on you?” You ask him and he’s thought about it, he’s thought about it a lot. The thought of you holding the gun and the thought of you looking so focused as you marked up his skin. He’s lying if he says he’s not turned on by the thought.

“On me?” He asked and you nodded. You sit up and the way you sit causes your skirt to rise up a little more showing some more of your thigh.

“I-I mean ive never done it and-actually it’s stupid pretend I didn’t say anything.” You set the gun back down and go back to how you were sitting before.

“No, no,” he comes over to you throwing the Clorox wipe in the trash. “What were you thinking about?” He moves your legs up to rest them on his thigh as he sits down.

You sit up and grab onto his shoulder for balance. He looks at you with soft eyes, his mouth slightly agape because he wants you to lean in for a kiss but instead he moves his head to kiss the fingers rested on his shoulder.

“C’mon, tell me.” He holds your face and you look down at his fingers.

“I dunno, thought maybe we could do something cute together? I know how much you hate matching tattoos when couples come in to get them and you think they’re stupid but like it wouldn’t be matching it would be more like...more like tattoos that remind us of one another you know?” You spill all your thoughts and he looks at you in shock that you thought all this.

“Like I said! It’s stupid! I know I know!” You flop back onto the chair and he shakes his head as he crawls on top of you. He grabs your hands holding them gently as he presses a soft kiss to your chin.

“I think it’s a beautiful idea.” He kisses again this time on your neck. “Should I get a heart like you?” He let’s go of your right hand and moves it to where your first tattoo is, his work of art is.

“Up to you.” You move your head back to give him more acess and he kisses once again but chuckling on your collarbone making you shiver.

“Up to me? Darling this is your idea, where do you want it?” He argues and you look over at his hand, his left hand, his ring finger naked as could be. If he ever wanted to cover the tattoo up with a ring he could, he didn’t have any tattoos on his hand anyways and you loved his hands.

“Your finger.” You spoke and he looked up. His lips red from kissing you and his hair stopped tickling your chin. “Your left ring finger.” You tell him and he looks over at his finger. The reason he didn’t do his hands because he knew it’d fade faster and he didn’t really have any ideas for a hand tattoo.

“My finger?” He looks up at you nervous as could be. “My marriage finger?” He smirks and you nod. He knew your little plan, your innocent, loving, but slightly dirty plan.

“Mmh,” you nod and sit up. He sits up as well and is face with you. “You don’t have any tattoos there.” You tap your fingers against his hand as they’re being held.

“I guess I don’t.” He kisses your neck one more time before letting go of your hand and moving to the gun. Pulling out a fresh new needle to be used.

“R-Right now?” You sit up and he looks at the clock.

“It’s my shop, it’s closed, yeah.” He assembles the gun and opens up a new set of ink. He goes over to make the sketch and applies it to his finger.

“Tom, if you don’t wanna go through with this it’s okay. Honestly I won’t be offended if you don’t wanna-“ you start and he comes over and takes your spot on the chair.

“I do want to though. I only hate couple tattoos because most of the couples that come in I know they won’t be together in a year. Most of them are yes like us, young, in love, blinded by each other, but I also can just tell they won’t be together by the end of this year. Most of the tattoos they want are ugly anyways.” He shrugs and you laugh a little.

“Hey, I saw a couple leave once with a lock and key tattoo. I thought that was cute.” You told him and he lets out a ‘pff’ noise.

“Yeah, if they didn’t get so much shading it would be cute.” Tom flicks on the gun to test it and it makes you jump. “Are you sure you wanna go though with this?” He asks seeing how scared you are.

“Yeah, it was my idea.” You carefully take the gun from him and he now instructs you on what to do next.

“Okay, okay, wipe down the skin.” Tom instructs you as you carefully grab a cleaning wipe. Wiping down the dry skin with a cold wipe already made tom sink into the chair.

“When was your last tat?” You asked him realizing he hadn’t gotten one since you two been together.

“Before we started dating? Like November before we started dating. It’s of the rose.” He reminded you of the rose on his chest that looks angelic. The rose that you loved kissing over and leaving scratch marks just below.

“I love the rose.” You remind him and he laughs.

“I know you do.” He smirks and moves your hand to rest the gun gently over his skin. “Now, you wanna be careful. Don’t press too hard okay? It can go right through the skin and cause and infection and we don’t want that.” His eyes are serious and you are too.

“Promise to tell me if it hurts you?” You say with all seriousness and he knows that. You’re so sweet to him and it’s almost like you forgot that there’s almost twenty other tattoos on him that hurt way more than his finger.

“I promise.” He leans down and kisses your forehead before you start. “Alright, turn it on.” He tells you and you do so casuing him to flinch a little just at his nerves.

“Now just follow the outline sweetheart.” He instructed you and you do as told. You look up and see him with his eyes closed. That was one thing, Tom could never watch the needle on his own skin, he could only watch the needle on others.

“I’m hurting you!” You announce to him and he shakes his head ‘no’.

“No, you’re not. Keep on going sweets.” He tells you and you cringe as you finish up the tattoo. Seeing his skin redden and how his eyes are closed makes you cringe the hardest you’ve ever had.

You finish up the tattoo, it’s a little bit wider than your heart and definitely a little longer but it’s still adorable and you’re actually proud of yourself.

“I-I’m done.” You look at it with pride. He opens his eyes and looks down and sees the most beautiful tattoo yet. He loves it, he wasn’t going to tell you it was a big messy because he loved it. He loved that you did it, he loved that you thought of it and the only way he would be covering it was with a wedding band.

“It’s beautiful.” He stares at it for a moment and for that first time you got that the feeling tom did after he’s done with with a patient. The feeling of accomplishment and the feeling of pride. “Baby, it’s beautiful.” He leans in for a kiss and you proudly kiss him back.

“You like it?” You smile and he gets up to go patch it up himself.

“It’s the best tattoo I’ve got.” He tells you and then looks over at the clock again. “Let’s get going yeah?” He picks up your bag for you and follows you out of the room shutting off the lights and locking the door behind him. His hand is softly resting on your lower back as you both make your ways out of the the shop.

You grab your keys getting in the car and getting yourself situated. He’s looking at the tattoo still admiring it. Even if you knew it wasn’t the best it was still something that meant a lot to tom.

He reaches over and rests he free and good hand on your thigh. Almost causing you to slam on the breaks feeling his hand on your bare thigh.

“You should tattoo on me more often, darling.” He rubs soft circles with his thumb.

“Oh no, that was just that time. I hurt you.” You pouted and he shook his head.

“No, no,” he kissed your cheek. “I just don’t like watching it done to me. I would’ve told you sweetheart.” He watched you calm down as he told you that.

You reach over when you’re at a stop light for his hand. You take the finger and bring it up to your lips giving it a soft kiss, you make eye contact with tom the whole time when you kiss it causing shivers down his spin. You watch him tremble under your touch until you are interrupted by the sound of the car behind you slamming its horn.

“All better?” You tease like the first time he did your tattoo. You will never forget that night, that cold london night when you were all alone getting your first tattoo. Nervous as hell walking in with the only intent being to impress your friends proving you could be good too. That though, was a year ago. Now you have been with tom for a year and loved every second of it. Moving him with him, starting a life with a boy you never thought you’d meet.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He breathes out pushing his hair back as he watches you just drive.

Nighttime drives were the best, on the way home especially. Knowing exactly what would be waiting for you when you got home was sometimes what kept tom through his day. Knowing he’d share the large California king with you. And if you didn’t pick him up because you were at home studying away for an exam he would just about always find you half asleep at your desk and would kiss your forehead before picking you up and taking you to bed.

Pulling up to the complex and making your way up to the flat to be greeted by Tessa jumping on the two of you. You reach down to pet the girl before setting your stuff down and tom pushing you into the counter. Heavy with his kisses as he appreciated your lips and body.

“Mmh, easy there.” You remind him and he breaks off and looks at you.

“You can’t just tease me in the car and expect nothing. I’ve missed you all day.” He kissed some more. You were gone longer than you thought, waking up and leaving him to go to church with your mother and then coming back to do some school work. By the time you came home he was already gone at the shop and you’d missed him by only an hour.

“I’ve missed you more but your eyes are tired and you were practically falling asleep before I did your tattoo bubs.” You hold his face and see his red eyes, the curls coming in and hanging down on his face as you held him. He did look tired and he was. He was extremely tired.

He kisses one more time before moving back. You take his hand and take him to be where you knew the two of you would make out more before falling asleep on top of each other.

And so that’s exactly what the two of you did, you stripped down and always just wore an oversized shirt and underwear to sleep and that’s exactly what you did tonight. Tom doing the same as he came out from the bathroom after brushing his teeth.

“Mmh,” he comes into bed and starts attacking your neck with kisses. “I love you.” He reminds you and you shift to face him. Grabbing his hand with the tattoo again and moving to place it on your face, making him hold your face for a moment before moving the hand slowly down to where your heart was, just right below the Breast he touches the tattoo.

Moving your leg to wrap around his you cuddle in closer and he lets his hand drop to rest on your lower back. Pecking a kiss to his cheek as you lay your head against his shoulder mumbling an ‘I love you’ into his chest. He loved when you mumbled into his chest to feel the smal vibrations of your voice.

Your hand going to touch some tattoos one more time before you fall asleep. Touching the dove that flew on his bicep, to depiction of the family crest just below his shoulder. You let your eyes wander to the butterflies and the rose on his chest, the Roman numerals that are for his grandmother and there were empty spaces but he always tells you he’s leaving those spaces for more important things.

“What if we got married?” He spoke into the emptiness of the room. You perked up from his chest just as you were about to sleep you feel your heart pounding.

“What?” You looked at him as if he was just running off the pure tiredness in his voice.

“Married, like a wedding and then maybe some kids? What if we did all of that when you graduate?” He offers and you can’t help but to smile a little have been thinking about this thought before. You go to grab his hand with the fresh heart tattoo and imagine a ring right over it, just as you thought in the first place.

“A wedding? And some kids?” You say in shock but also happiness. He nods taking your hand to kiss.

“Yeah.” He tells you and you nod but fall into his shoulder.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning, keep our excitement for then.” You go back to staring at his tattoos.

Your parents would be furious if this was the man you were marrying, but your brother did almost the same exact thing—that is marrying someone your parents hated. You knew they’d never be truly happy with tom but you were your happiest with tom and you knew he was his happiest with you and you couldn’t wait to share those moments with him.

[thetomorrowshow]

a jig in plaited time

Happy holidays, @under-the-blue-moonlight ! I really enjoyed writing up some intrulogical content for you (and this may actually get additional chapters lol, I’m really happy with it).

Here is your @sanderssidesgiftxchange gift!

ships: Intrulogical, background Royality

cw: anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attack, mannequins, mentions of food

~

Why was Remus at the mall?

That was a simple question, with a just as simple answer. He was at the mall for a suit and tie, one he needed for his brother's wedding. It needed to be “salmon” or whatever, with a blue tie.

A much less simple answer was to the next question.

Why was Remus at the mall on Black Friday?

In all honesty, Remus hadn't known about Black Friday until he arrived. He hadn't really had a good feeling about it on the way here, but he'd paid no mind to his instincts. He didn't often have a good feeling about anything. There had been far too many cars for this time of morning on a weekday. What had really tipped him off, though, was the huge sign in the window of Nordstrom's.

'BLACK FRIDAY SALE!'

Even at that point he wasn't entirely sure what that meant. It became far more clear when he entered the building to find it absolutely packed. Well, there could be an upside to this. Maybe there would be a sale on the suit he needed.

Remus hadn't been this close to someone since he was in the womb, and he could not say that he was very comfortable with it. Remus didn't care much for close spaces and touching people, he hadn't since middle school. It just made him feel sort of icky.

As soon as possible, he ducked out of Nordstrom's, only to find that the rest of the mall was in a similar condition. JC Penney actually looked worse. Normally when Remus was feeling overwhelmed, he'd sidle into Hot Topic or somewhere else with obnoxiously loud music. By drowning his feelings in the noise, he generally was able to recollect himself. The mall was certainly loud, but not in a good way at all. Even if he tried to find someplace with music, he wouldn't be able to enjoy it with all these people.

Remus was stressed. But he needed this suit, seeing as his brother's wedding was literally tomorrow. Why did he leave it this late? Well, Remus knew he was nothing if not a master procrastinator. He also knew he couldn’t be the only one.

Remus waded his way through the crowd to a relatively people-free corner and wiggled his phone out of the pockets of his definitely too-small jeans (not that he'd admit they were too small out loud—his brother had told him they were on every occasion he wore them) and texted the wedding group chat.

Remus: hey im at the mall. anything yall need?

Robro: Why are you at the mall on black friday?

Patty-Cake: ooh can you get me a pair of sunglasses? Mine broke last week

Remus: sure. stuff for wedding?

Robro: idk. Let me ask mom

Remus shoved his phone back in his pocket, then extracted it again as it buzzed a moment later.

Robro: Yeah mom says get some classy decor or something

Ant: I don't think remus knows what classy means

Remus: shut up i got this

Toby: wait what's going on? It's like 10am why are you all awake

Robro: idk if you knew this tobes but I'm getting married tomorrow

Toby: shut up man

Ant: even Remy knows

Sleep: even i know loser

Remus: toby do u need help

Toby: I hate it heeere

Patty-Cake: Aw Toby that isn't very nice! And good morning everyone!

Robro: hello sunshine!! <3

Sleep: i need you both to not start that

Remus: get a room dorks

Okay, classy decor. Sunglasses for the groom. Pink suit. Blue tie. Probably some dress shoes. A wedding present. Dress socks too. Did Remus need to have a tie pin? He'd ask later. Napkins, definitely. No one ever had enough napkins at events. Did he need to have a pocket handkerchief?

Remus checked the list of what his suit needed that Roman had sent him a month or two ago. Yes, a blue pocket square. This was a lot.

Remus swallowed back his sudden panic and took a few deep breaths, jamming his still-buzzing phone back into his pocket. He could do this. Sunglasses first, there was a Sunglasses Hut within eyesight. All he had to do was fight through the crowd.

He reached the kiosk with few incidents and surveyed the sleek glasses for five minutes before seeing a pair that were shaped like a cartoon frog. Patton would love those. And if he didn't, then Remus just got a neat pair of sunglasses! He purchased the glasses and moved on to the next place to conquer.

-

By the time Remus was back at Nordstrom's, he was completely out of energy. Nordstrom's had two levels, and so much stuff, and so many people. He still had to get the suit and socks, and the wedding present. Maybe it seemed like he hadn't done much, but he had actually done a lot, considering how busy the mall was. He'd barely escaped a fistfight outside of the electronics store. The fact that he'd been able to get shoes and so-called 'classy decor' and napkins? Remus was pretty proud, all things considered.

Nordstrom's was even busier than when he left, which was certainly distressing. Remus couldn't even see any clothes. Was that a mannequin or a really tall lady? Was that the escalator, or a bunch of people climbing on top of each other?

What if I set off a bomb right here? Would the whole tower fall down, the ones on top not actually hurt until they hit the ground?

Remus shook off the intrusive thought. This was getting bad. It was already almost one—that meant that not only was he stressed, but he was getting hungry. His thoughts would continue to devolve until he got out of here and got some food.

I could eat that man! That would certainly clear the place out, and I'm sure he's delicious!

Remus groaned. He needed to sit down, but there were no seats free anywhere. He hefted his bags higher on his shoulders and forged on. He had to get this suit, or else the wedding would be ruined. The man in question (who was fairly attractive) bumped him, and Remus had to close his eyes to fight his brain. This was getting out of hand.

There was a little square cut out in the wall where a headless mannequin stood, no doubt showing off the latest in boys' fashion. Remus ducked between its legs and pushed his back up against the wall, knees drawn up close to his chest. He pulled out his phone with some difficulty.

Remus: hey so ro does my suit need a tie pin

Robro: Don't worry abt it, mom got matching tie pins for everyone

Sleep: ree babes are you buying ur suit now?

Remus: shut up

Sleep: on black friday?

Remus: no

Ant: did you even know it was black friday

Remus: ...

Toby: wait the wedding is tmrrw

Robro: Believe me tobias I'm aware

Remus: yah ik im not buying the whole suit just shoes

Robro: Good I almost had a heart attack, you almost certainly wouldn't be able to find one

Now truly panicking, Remus dropped his phone onto his stomach and buried his fists in his hair. How was he supposed to find a salmon suit and a blue tie, as well as nice socks? Plus a wedding present? Especially in this crowd, when he had no clue where to even look for a suit. And he still had to go to the party tonight, then the wedding tomorrow, and it was so loud. Everyone was yelling over each other, and Remus couldn't even hear his own thoughts—except the bad ones. Why did he have to put this off so long? He needed out, he wasn't going to be able to get any of the stuff, he was going to ruin the wedding, like he ruined everything—

“Hello, may I help you?”

Remus looked up—at least, as up as he could look, with a mannequin just above him—to see a bespectacled store clerk looking down at him. 'Logan', his nametag read.

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it again before a string of curses could come out. He really wasn't doing well. There was just too much, too much everything.

“Is there anything I can help you find?” Logan asked, his voice rumbling a bit—or maybe it was the thunder of people in the shop. Whatever it was, it made Remus's stomach drop a little.

“Um, uh, pink!” If Remus had any shame, he would have slapped his own face. As it was, he started trying to pantomime a suit while stuck in a tiny hollow in the wall. Logan watched kindly, his face not betraying the disgust he was probably feeling.

“Pink what? Shirt?” Logan guessed. Remus shook his head, running his hands down his legs. Pants too, pants too.

“Pink . . . coat? Shorts? Pants?”

Remus traced back over his arms, almost crying. Here he was, bothering this poor clerk with his stupid non-verbal self.

“A pink suit?”

Remus jumped for joy, hitting his head on the crotch of the mannequin, instantly shuddering at the thoughts that flooded into his head. Logan held out a hand, and Remus took it, allowing himself to be pulled out of the wall.

“I can direct you to the suit section, right this way.”

Remus let himself be led by Logan, who occasionally looked back to make sure he was still there. The man had a curly mop of dark hair, and was slightly shorter than he was—not that it was a problem. Or anything important. Remus wasn't looking for a date. He was inconveniencing a store clerk on Black Friday. Although, he did need a plus one for the wedding. . . .

No, it was out of the question. He didn't even know this man. Roman would be upset if he ruined the wedding even more by showing up with some rando who would probably jump in the wedding cake or spill food all over the nice tablecloths or turn out to be really ugly because he was just wearing a mask made of someone else's face.

“Here is where the suits are. Do you need anything else?”

Remus stared at him, his mouth opening and shutting a few times. He wanted to say something stupid, like yeah, I need those eyes in my life, or something far more obscene, but he was okay. He could do this. He could survive peopling.

Logan gave him a sympathetic smile. “I can help you find the right suit, if that's what you require.”

Before he could stop himself, Remus was nodding. He let Logan pull him past a crying couple and two arguing families to a rack of suit coats that were red.

“Will these suffice?” the clerk asked, gesturing at them. Remus frowned. They weren't pink. Was the man messing with him? Seeing his look, Logan checked the tag and groaned. “Apologies, I'm colorblind. I could have sworn these were pink. Hopefully the last customer who I pointed this way was not upset.”

That was a joke, right? Remus almost laughed, but knew if he did he would start crying. Logan led him through the crowd with seemingly unending patience, occasionally smiling gently at him. Remus felt his heartrate spike every time one of those smiles was sent his way, but for a reason completely unrelated to the overpowering noise and crowd.

Logan found him a probably very nice pink suit—Remus wasn't really looking at it. Then Logan was kind enough to let him into an employee restroom to try it on, seeing as the dressing rooms had a line that ran all the way to the front doors. It fit nicely, tight (though not as tight as his jeans) and sleek, accompanied with a blue tie that Logan had found while he was changing.

“That looks very sharp on you, sir,” Logan informed him, as Remus blushed.

“Remus,” he blurted out. Logan raised his eyebrows.

“After the character in Roman mythology?” asked Logan, his tone betraying something like excitement. Remus nodded, then looked down at the tie.

“We—didn't look at—at ties yet,” he stammered, trying to make his voice work. “Where—?”

“Ah, it happens to be one of mine,” Logan said. For the first time, he looked a little uncomfortable. “I keep one in my locker for emergencies, and I thought it would look nice on—it would look nice. With the suit.”

Remus finally found the courage to smile back. “Thanks, Specs. Uh, sorry for taking up so much of your time. I'll just buy this, it's dope.”

“Oh no, I do not at all mind assisting you,” Logan said quickly. “At least I don't have to deal with . . . whatever is going on.”

“You could assist me by being my date!”

Logan stared.

Remus clapped a hand over his mouth.

“. . . What?”

“Nothing, nothing nothing,” said Remus. “I just—um—you need to get your tie back right? And I—if you let me, of course—I could just wear it, save money and all that, and you could come and then take it home so that I don't steal it or whatever?” He scrunched his eyes up, turning away so as to catch no sight of Logan rejecting him. Why did he have to say that? The noise pressed down on him again; despite still being in the staff restroom, it was almost too loud to bear.

“Wear it . . . where?”

Remus would already be curled up on the floor were it not for the very un-purchased suit he was currently wearing. “Um, my brother's wedding tomorrow?” he chanced, hands clenched over his eyes.

The utter disbelief in Logan's voice was clear as a bell. “You are buying a suit . . . for a wedding . . . that is tomorrow. On Black Friday, of all days.”

Tears choked Remus's throat. “Y-yeah, I'm really bad at planning.” Why was he even asking this cute clerk out anyway? Just because Roman kept teasing him for not having a date to the wedding? Or did he actually have a crush on Logan?

He searched his feelings briefly, and found almost instantly that he for sure had a crush. Okay, that was a lot to deal with right now. They had just met! It was just . . . the way he smiled at him, the way he didn't abandon him even though he'd been having a panic attack for about an hour at this point, how gentle and kind he was. Not to mention how put-together he was. And his hair? That was just hot.

Now though, just seconds after realizing he liked Logan, the guy was going to reject him because he had run his stupid mouth. Remus cringed. The silence had gone on for far too long.

“Well, I expect you to pick me up an hour before the event begins. I do not currently have my own means of transportation. You are quite fortunate that I do not work tomorrow.”

Wait.

What?

“You—you really—?” Remus's voice broke. He jumped as Logan lay a warm hand over his own, which were still pressed into his eyes.

“Of course,” Logan said kindly. “I know very little about you, but I rather feel that—and no offense meant—you will be distressed at such a large event as a wedding. I would love to continue to assist you.” He coughed, then added, “Also, the streak in your hair is very attractive.”

Remus almost sighed in relief. This was okay. He let Logan pull his hands away from his face, then ran a sleeve over his eyes and nose. Logan froze.

“Well, now you have to buy that suit,” Logan said. As an aside, he muttered, “At least it looks good on you.”

“Aw, Lo, you think I look hot?” Remus asked shakily, managing a smile. “What about my jeans? Think I look good in tight clothes?”

Logan turned away, unfortunately letting go of Remus's hands, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Are you always this insufferable?”

Remus slung an arm around his shoulder. “Yep! And you're stuck with me for a whole date!”

Logan pushed his glasses up his nose. “If it doesn't work out, we can just pretend we never met, if you like. We will both move on with our lives. There is no obligation that comes with this date, we are both free to back out at any time.”

Remus quickly retracted his arm from Logan's shoulder, then nodded. That made sense. He did like Logan, and he didn't want to upset him. Shameless flirting was definitely on the table, though.

“When's your lunch break?” Remus asked, as casually as possible. Logan snorted.

“I only have a twenty minute lunch today, they don't want me to leave them without as much help as possible.” Logan went to open the door and exit the restroom, then glanced back. “One o'clock. I plan on getting a sandwich at the Subway in the hall outside of the store. It would be wonderful if someone would wait in line for me and order me an Italian BMT and a bag of potato chips, so that I am not late in returning.”

Remus grinned. Easy-peasy, and just like that he would get to spend some time with Logan before the wedding.

Logan made to leave, but Remus grabbed his arm. “One sec, hot stuff,” he said, butterflies racing through his stomach at Logan's blush, “not to bother you any more or anything, but do you have any suggestions for a wedding present?”

The utter disbelief on Logan's face completely wiped out any blush that had been there. “The wedding is tomorrow, Remus.”

Remus's breath caught. Logan said his name. It sounded so beautiful coming from him. If a heavenly chorus had been singing around him at that moment, it would have been dull compared to Logan saying his name.

Logan sighed. “Of course I have some ideas. Do you need anything else?”

Remus pulled himself together, then grabbed his phone from the pile of his clothes on the floor. He checked the list, ignoring the notifications from the group chat.

“Uh, yeah. A pocket square to match the tie, and some nice socks.”

“That's doable. Tell me about your brother and his partner while we find those items. Perhaps you and I can put together an ideal gift.” Logan stepped out of the restroom to give Remus privacy while he changed back into his clothes. Remus shucked the suit off as quickly as possible. All the intense stimulation had blurred into the background, Logan being the only buzz he needed to keep going.

Remus didn't often have a good feeling about anything, but this? Oh yeah, there was definitely something good here.

[common-blackbird]

Started!

This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u

I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.

Highlights from today:

Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)

Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man

On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT

As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T

And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;

played some more...

Let  me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)

What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith. 

Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )

As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.

This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.

I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well. 

Ok, now shorter updates:

Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.

Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...

Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.

and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;

Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?

That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.

We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!

lets start with this cool shot

so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...

Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.

And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;

the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for

As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.

and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away

If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.

A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?

And with that we reach the skyhold.

in skyhold

I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<

Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(

(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)

then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D

It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT

Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?

another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(

and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)

anyways that’s all for now, laters

some random updates:

so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow

i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?”  but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.

Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...

when cassandra said:

“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”

great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).

I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.

And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;

What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?

And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.

update

After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...

but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;

Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D

 know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....

... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;

Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony

The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke.  bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;

oh i also slayed a dragon.  I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times).  

And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like

it was awful and you weren’t even there.

i forgot to update

but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!

and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)

new update

BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T

Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.

Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.

another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...

and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.

[chloekwon-moved]

STRANGE FEELING !

SUMMARY :: In which Chloe’s first stage back is too much to handle. CHARACTERS :: Chloe Kwon, Im Bora, Lee Sohee WORDS :: 1.1K WARNINGS :: panic attacks ( if i missed anything let me know ! )

Chloe almost forgot what it was like to be backstage. The last time she set foot in one, at least as an artist, was three years ago, though as she looked around, nothing had changed. There was still the same amount of staff running around, making sure everything was done to perfection, and idols running back and forth getting ready to get back on stage. It was almost calming to know that things were still the same after all this time, though she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling washing over her as Sohee packed on more and more makeup, taking all of the imperfections away.

She was used to being on stage, it was something she had gotten used to after she stood on stage at the talent show in third grade, showing off her sloppy guitar skills she had been so proud of the entire time. It was strange for her to get nervous going on stage, the last time she had felt like this was for her very first stage after her debut, she hadn’t even felt this nervous on Sixteen. 

The strange feeling settled at the bottom of her stomach, in the background, but still very much present. Chloe tried to focus on the sounds of the monitor off to her right, some girls group she couldn't recognize playing in the background, though she only felt the feeling spike at the thought that soon she would be standing on that exact stage, performing just like them.

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, trying her best to clear her thoughts as Sohee finished up, trying to not bring any attention to the rach thoughts that she was experiencing, though Chloe had always been an open book and even if Sohee was new to her team, she was good at reading people.

“You good, Chloe?”

She wasn’t. She could tell she wasn’t, but she couldn’t say anything, she knew she had to perform. She just nodded her head quickly, and Sohee, sweet, sweet Sohee didn’t push her, even if the look on her face told Chloe that she didn’t believe her for a second. She nodded slightly, backing away from the younger girl to allow her room to get up, and Chloe hopped out of the seat in a second, beginning to walk around the room, singing her song lightly under her breath, like she would forget the lyrics if she didn’t.

She wasn’t sure just how long she was pacing back and forth, but she knew she lost count of how many times she ran through the song. It almost made her mad that she was so worried, she already went through the process of being scared about people’s opinions  on the album and it had turned out okay in the end, why was she so nervous for the actual performance?

“Chloe!” Bora’s voice rang through her thoughts, causing the younger to snap her head up, looking at the older girl who was all smiles. “We’re up in a few so we should probably start heading backstage!”

Chloe felt herself nod mechanically, but thoughts immediately started racing through her mind. Thoughts about how she had been too careless and fort to practice her dance. Thoughts about how she was going to trip and fall on live television. Thoughts about how people were going to hate the performance. Thoughts about how she should have never come back. They all flew through her mind before she could stop them and she could hear rushing in her ears, the world closing in around her as the thoughts continued to race. She could feel her heartbeat pick up and her breathing becoming more labored.

It hurt, she thought, breaking the thoughts in her mind for a split second, her hand coming up to grab at her chest. She wasn’t sure when the tears began to fall, but she could feel the hot streaks falling down her face, a quick Sohee’s gonna kill me running through her mind, making her feel instantly worse.

She could hear people shuffling around her, she could vaguely tell that they were saying things, probably to her, because the rush of thoughts made it hard to figure out what any of them were saying. It wasn’t until she felt a gentle hand on her arm, rubbing it in soothing circles, that she felt like she could breathe just a bit better.

Chloe looked up, coming face to face with a worried-looking Bora. “Chloe, hey, breathe with me,” her voice was soft and sweet, pulling Chloe a bit more out of her thoughts.

She stared intently at the older girl, watching her breathe in and out slowly, following along with her with jagged breaths. Chloe wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, in the middle of the room, everyone’s worried gazes trained on them as the two girls continued to take deep breaths, though she couldn't find it in her to care. She could feel the thoughts receding, her mind slowly becoming more and more open again. That strange feeling settled itself back in the bottom of her stomach, but it didn’t feel all too overwhelming anymore.

She kept calming down, Bora rubbing soothing circles into her back, continuing to make her breathe until her breaths were no longer jagged, but more even and all the tears stopped all together.

“Are you okay?” Bora’s voice was soft and sweet, her eyes filled with worry. Chloe just nodded back wordlessly, not trusting her voice, but instantly looking over to Sohee, a silent question to ask if she could fix her makeup.

Bora put herself in between the two, making Chloe’s eyes focus on her again. “You know you don’t have to perform today, right? I’m sure people will understand.”

“I can perform,” Chloe replied and she internally cringed when what she intended to be a firm voice came out as uneven and coarse.

Bora looked at her with worried eyes, but let her walk back over to the makeup chair she was in before. She wasn’t okay, in fact she probably should have listened to Bora and not performed, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that if she didn’t get this first performance over with, it would only get worse and worse every time she tried to perform. She pushed back all the worrying thoughts, allowing herself to be consumed by the feeling of Sohee fixing the tear-stained makeup she had messed up.

[lideria]

Give Me a Few. | Johnny

Request: hi hi can you write smtg with johnny? like anything hhhh im soft for the man

Author’s Note: I miss school. Yes, that might be a crime but hear me out: this quarantine’s got me missing school and having crises over assignments and quizzes and tests, which is crazy to me. So, this shall be a college fic.

Warnings: A few swear words and a little anxiety. English is my second language so there might be errors + my brain is pushing a writer’s block on me but I won’t let it so there might be some complications with the flow loves I’m sorry.

Word Count: 1.752 IT’S SHORT.

Genre: Fluff, Angst if you like squint really hard, college!au, platonicfriends!au

Hope everyone who reads it enjoys!! 💚Have a lovely time, and good night for me lol

“The fuck?”

Johnny’s head bolts up at the frustrated question. He sees you hunched over the printed papers with your mechanical pencil in your hand and your phone in the other, scrunched eyebrows looking at the white surface scribbled all over with equations and formulas. The desk has eraser dust all over it, all from the past few hours of tussling with questions he thought must simply be too difficult. “That doesn’t make any sense, you sure that’s right?”

He can hear the faint “Dude yes, I used the calculator.” of your friend on the other end of the line, and sees your hand spring up to your temple, rubbing the spot as you let out a sigh. Shortly after, though, the mechanical pen comes back in contact with the paper. “Okay okay. Just guide me through that one more time please.”

Your friend cleans their throat so clearly Johnny can hear it, and with that he returns to his own share of notes. He is much more relaxed than you are since he has left his fair share of difficult examinations behind, and although he has a lot more memorizing to do still, it is whatever. Just two more to go.

It takes a few minutes for your friend to go over everything they had just told you, with you writing the formulas and equations down step by step, circling the ones you deemed important. You thank your friend for helping before hanging up.

Which is when the mechanical pencil is thrown out of your hand and onto the desk. “I’m gonna fail this final so bad,” You whine out. “Why make the course mandatory if half the faculty doesn’t even get it?” Leaned back on the chair, you rub your eyes with your fists. There is nothing more you want other than being done with the finals already and to never have to be acquainted with this course ever again— but you also have to pass it in order for that to become true.

“Should I just help?” Johnny suggests, his own studies long forgotten at that point. Not that he had been doing a particularly good job at focusing on them.

He sees you hunch back over the desk, looking at him with your hands tiredly placed on your cheeks. “Hasn’t it been like.. 2 semesters since you’ve taken this? Plus, you have a test tomorrow.”

Johnny clicks his tongue. “It’s history anyway— I couldn’t care less, it’s easy. Multiple choice.” Shutting his notebook close (which still amazes you how he can take notes by hand of a class like history where it is dominantly lecture material that matters), he stands up and instead takes a seat on the chair beside yours. “I’d rather struggle with formulas than read about every revolution there ever was.”

“Easy to say when you ace tests without studying for them.” You mumble, which makes Johnny smile. He could not protest that because it was true. He was a good listener during class, which helped him tons with assignments, which in turn helped him not forget the class material. The only type of courses that truly got to him were the ones where most things are dependent on discussions, arguments or debates where he needed to improvise. Not because he is bad at any of them, just because he is the type to take problems more subjectively rather than objectively.

Johnny tells you to take a breather for a few minutes while he tries to get what is going on in the question. You see this as an opportunity to take a few sips from your sugary drink that is supposed to get you through this night’s study session that is sure to become an all nighter considering you still have a couple of pages to work out. Then you check your phone, scrolling through your social media for a little, until Johnny’s hand lightly lands on your forearm. “I think I figured it out.”

“You did?” The question sounds more hopeful than it should have. “Mhm,” His eyes land on your phone momentarily before he continues speaking. “Let’s have dinner first, though.”

For you to agree he almost has to literally drag you outside of the study room the two of you had occupied, but he manages to bring you out by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and waddling his way out until the door closes and locks behind you. The two of you then make your way to the cafeteria just because you could not be bothered with making any food or asking for delivery.

While you eat, Johnny tells you he is almost sure you could not get the question because your brain was fried rather than being unable to do it. Although not knowing if it is true or not you are thankful that he says it, because it gives you a motivational boost.

Both because you are hungry and because you really need all the studying you can get, you hurry up eating— barely even tasting the food before you leave to get back to the study room.

When you are back both of you immediately go back to your seats, putting your phones on flight mode before abandoning them at the far end of the desk. Johnny takes your mechanical pencil and eraser, erasing your jotted answer before starting to re-read and rephrase the question for you. He writes down the answer step by step, making sure you truly understand everything and stopping when you need to get your head wrapped on some things.

And when he erases his writings so you can write the answer down, he gives you encouraging pats on your shoulder, letting his hand rest there as a reminder that he is there if you need to ask something.

At some point he places his chin on your shoulder as well to watch you. Not you writing your answer down, but you. “You’re being annoying right now.” You mumble, to which he chuckles slightly. “Am I?”

“You are,” Confirming the statement, you tap down at the desk. “Just look. I got the right answer this time.”

He does. The smile that spreads across his face soon after he does so makes you proud. “See, I told you it was only your overworked brain.”

With a roll of your eyes you thank him, before turning back to the many practice questions that awaited you. The questions start coming as a breeze for the first couple of hours as you gather help from your textbooks with your freshened mind. Johnny starts to play one of his many playlists with chill songs on it, reaching out for his phone to do it before also reaching out for his notebook and highlighters, returning to history out of the sheer fact that it would make him feel better if he studied while you were.

The music in the background provides a nice ambiance in the room, much more lighthearted and relaxed than how it has been for the whole study session so far. Johnny and you take turns leaving the room to walk around, partly to get some exercise and partly to delay the point where you would get sleepy.

The night seems to go by faster after you start studying for the second time. And surely after some time, you had to start leaving the study room not for short walks, but to wash your face in order to stay awake.

Letters slowly start to form a gibberish language in your mind, numbers becoming a jumble of weird lines and strokes. What really breaks all that you have left of wakefulness, though, is when Johnny starts softly humming to the songs on his never-ending playlist.

His voice is deep and strains when he is using such a low tone to hum to the songs, but it is still quite the attention catcher. You cannot help but start listening to him, and you certainly cannot help your hand that trails off of the practice questions. Within a few songs’ time, your eyes get droopy and your world gets droopy, too. But you honestly try to fight off the sleep.

Yet, sleep is much stronger than whatever is keeping you awake.

“I think I’m gonna take a nap,” The announcement comes as a surprise even to you, but you reach out for your bag and drag it until it is in front of you on the desk. “What’re you doing?”  Johnny throws a soft yet questioning look at you even though it must be obvious what you are doing. “I’m gonna use it as a pillow.”

“Just lay your head on my arm,” He says as if it is nothing, and shrugs a little when you look at him with your own pair of questioning eyes. “My cardigan’s thick and soft enough to be comfortable for both you and me.”

You smile at him, and pull your bag full of books and binders aside. Reaching out for his left arm, you hold his hand lightly— even though he is fully capable of lifting his forearm to place it in front of you— and drag his arm to the space previously occupied by your bag. He returns to his notes, unbothered, and gets back to humming along to the songs.

When you place your head on his forearm you smile at the scent of his cardigan, the scent of the coffee he had had before you started studying still embedded into the fabric.

You shut your eyes that do not have the motivation to fight off the sweet invitation of sleep. And if anybody ever asked you, you would say you fell asleep before Johnny finished the line he was humming to.

And if anybody ever asked you, it was the one of the best (and deepest) sleeps you had; your face engulfed in him and his cardigan’s warmth, your arms closed around his forearm, hunched over the desk in a position that is surely going to ache your back— until there is a scratch at the top of your head and through your hair. “Hm?”

“An hour’s passed.” He whispers, his hand still in your hair. You draw his arm closer to you, nuzzling your face into the fabric. You were not the one with a test tomorrow, and you were surely not the one with a test tomorrow that you could ace with your eyes closed. “Gimme 15 minutes.”

You hear him laugh. “Okay, big baby.”

[kirishwima]

Hi! I adore your writings! Are you still taking requests? May I ask you to write some headcannons for RFA (including V and Saeran) reacting to MC looking like a sweet cinnamon roll but in fact being a lead of rock band that perfectly practices extreme vocal techniques. Sorry if I made some mistakes (I am not a native speaker and, unfortunately, was out of English practice for a long period of time) and huge thank you!

heyo! Don’t worry, your english is fine ^^

I hope you like this, I wrote for MC using she/her pronouns, but I can absoloutely change that if you’d like!

I unfortunately don’t have the time to write for V and Saeran too right now, but I promise I’ll come back to this headcanon and write their parts too once I have the time to! Sorry ;;

YOOSUNG:

He felt like the luckiest man in the world, having such a cute loving girlfriend!! The two make the cutest freaking couple, people cooing at them when they walk down the street

So when MC told him she's in a band, he found it really cool, but didn't question it further-he assumer she may sing some cute acoustic songs or pop bops.

When MC invited him to a show at a bar he was a little curious about the location choice but hey, of course he'll be there to support his girl!

When they arrived MC kissed him, promising she'll see him after the show; he invited a few of his classmates along to see his MC's talent uplose

He already started wondering what kind of band MC's was when the opening act started with punk rock covers of pop songs, one particularly sticking in Yoosung's mind as it was a rendition of Taylor Swift's 'Love story', taking note of their extreme fashion, all spikes and dyed bright hair...

And them MC's band came on stage and hoo boy she was unrecognisable! Thick smudged eyeliner, a bold black lipstick, her leather jacket adorned with patches and spikes all over, her jeans so ripped you could see her thighs, and thos massive combat boots...

Yoosung didn't have the time to pass out as MC greeted the crowd with a cheer and the drummer started up the beat, the guitsrist following suit, and MC's voice...

Sure he heard her hum at home but this was NUTS. Her voice was so thick, deep, yet she managed to pull out some screams from her little frame that Yoosung couldn't believe

After the show he would NEVER shut up about how much of a cool badass his girl is. And if someone said sure, she's cute but not a badass...Yoosung would simply invite them to MC's next preformance

ZEN:

When MC had casually mentioned she's a singer in the RFA chatroom, Zen was thrilled!!! How did he end up flirting-dating a fellow colleague??

When he kept asking what kind of singing she did, MC cryptically replied 'oh, it might not be the type of gig you're used to' and left it at that, much to Zen's dismay.

After the two started dating, MC invited him along to a show, which Zen excitedly prepared for, tagging along as MC drove him to the location.

He took note of the underground bar-turned-coner-hall, the exposed cement walls and dingy barstand in the further corner, how there were posters and graffiti covering parts of the walls, the floor...

He raised a brow; Zen was no stranger to the punk rock scene, and definitely not to these underground bars; let's not forget he was in a motorcycle gang thank u very much

MC took him along backstage to meet her bandmates, whose styles ranged from completely average everyday style to punk spikey badass. He didn't question that either, but started to understand what MC's gig was, smirking as he realized; MC was testing him, pushing to see just how comfortable he'd be with her scene.

As the opening act started up on the stage, MC had been putting the finishing touches to her makeup, Zen sitting besides her smirking up at her reflection in the mirror.

"What?" she asked with a laugh, adjusting her spikey necklace.

"Not my kind of gig, you'd called it? Baby, I've been in this scenes long long ago. And knowing you're about to go out there and sing your lungs off..." he bit his lip, having the nerve to look bashful for a moment.

She rolled her eyes as he stood up, tugging her into an embrace.

"Give them hell out there" he whispered in her ear.

And she did. Hoo boy she did.

What she also did was bring out Zen to the stage...and boy, this man was born for the punk rock scene!!

JAEHEE:

To be fair...Jehee respected MC's profession, but she didn't really understand at first.

"So...it's not like Zen's musicals?" "No Jaehee, it's not." "But...you sing and have a distinctive style when on stage?" "Yes!" "I see...just like Zen! :D" "Jaehee...no baby"

Instead of trying to explain, MC sat Jaehee on the couch, connecting her phone to the TV to find one of her band's videoclips to play.

She settled on one of her favorite songs of theirs, and with a glance Jaehee's way, she hit play.

Jaehee was mesmerised; she stared at the screen, barely blinking as she took in this brand new side of MC she was witnessing, blushing as MC sang and winked at the camera, her lipstick smudged on purpose, her black ripped shirt falling off of one shoulder as if she'd been in a scuffle, her voice-how could a girl as sweet as her MC let out such a grovely voice?!

As the video ended, Jaehee remained quiet, her eyes still focused on the screen.

"So.." MC started, "What did you think?"

With an unfathomable intensity, Jaehee turned her head towards MC, pushing her glasses that'd fallen low.

"MC, I need you to show me every videoclip and concert you've got videotaped. NOW!"

She's from now on MC's number 1 fan UwU

JUMIN:

MC actually didn't tell him much about her occupation, worried how someone serious like Jumin would take it.

He knew she sings, and that she has a band, but that's pretty much it.

Not wanting to push her, Jumin simply left it at that, allowing MC to share what she felt comfortable sharing at her own pace.

He did hear her hum songs to herself sometimes, sometimes finding her on the couch surrounded by pages and music chords as she figured out new songs and lyrics.

He did sneak a peak at one of her music sheets once, reading through the lyrics with a confused frown.

"Lips like blades cut words through blood...?" he read the words aloud, looking to the paper with furrowed brows. "I see..what a wonderful metaphor MC has thought of" he smiled, setting the paper back down. He was so proud of his beloved's  talent!

Once at a buisness party, he saw an associate of his approach him and MC with his daughter in tow, a girl seemingly no older than 16.

"Mr. Han, greetings" the man started, "I'm sorry to interrupt your discussion this suddenly, but you see, my daughter saw your fiancee from across the room and insisted we come over and say hi."

The girl looked up to MC with a wide grin. "I'm sorry I-I'm a big fan! I love your music and your latest song-'Bloody Sins', I loved it so much!"

Jumin watched the situation unfold as MC chatted with the girl, even taking a 'selfie' with her that the girl squealed with joy at, and in a flurry she was gone, leaving Jumin alone with MC again.

Jumin glanced at MC, a small smile on his lips. "Bloody Sins, was it?"

MC blushed, looking away with a flustered grin. "Ah yeah um-I never told you the genre of my music, I don't think it'd be something you'll be into-"

"Metal, I assume? Or rather, judging by the glance I've happened to take at your music sheets, the chords seem more befitting of some modern form of rock. Punk rock, prehaps?"

MC stared at Jumin flabbergasted. "You...how do you even know what punk rock is?!" she couldn't help her voice raising with shock.

Jumin smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "You'll find I'm not as dull of a buisnessman as you might've thought me to be my love. If you'd do me the honor of inviting me to your next show, I'd be happy to listen to your wonderful voice live."

Jumin wearing ripped skinny jeans and leather jackets? Sign me tf UP

LUCIEL/SEVEN/SAEYOUNG:

Not only did he know who MC was from his background search on her, he was actually a fun!

He loves punk rock, its the type of music he listens to whenever he works lol, and there was something about MC's voice that he just loved

He knew MC only as she was in her videoclips and as an online persona; a strong voice, tiny and soft-spoken in a couple interviews he stumbled upon online but with heavy makeup and rocking outfits.

The MC he met in the RFA though was much different; she was soft and cute, funny but so insufferably sweet, how could an innocent girl like her belch out such badass lyrics about death and destruction?!

Not that Saeran minded it-on the contrary lol, he loved to point out the difference in online punk rock MC and his now-girlfriend MC, throwing some of her more intense lyrics her way whenever she’d try teasing him over something herself.

Still, he was her biggest supporter, talking about her online to the point of getting a hector of traction towards her band; he rarely attended her shows given his job, but when he did he’d watch her from backstage with the proudest of smiles, and sometimes…well, he’d be a bit of a prick and mess with the lighting and audios backstage lmao

Im sorry MC you’re the one that decided to date a prankster OwO