#im pretty sure i still have him as my header

[aspennntree]

vacuo team is he/they she/they solidarity send post

[airbendertendou]

you are in love! ♥︎

synopsis : various best friend!characters realizing they like you a lil more when they should  [including bonten!sanzu, draken, senju, izana, aiura, saiki, satan, leon kennedy, and tamaki suoh.]

no pronouns used / gender neutral ; [name] used in place of y/n ; reader makes filipino food in izanas, im not from the philippines so pls don’t expect it to b accurate ; friends w benefits situation in satans ; reader dresses as sophie in tamakis but w pants and a shirt instead of a dress

song inspo ; you are in love by taylor swift 

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked. 

——♥︎——

SANZU ♥︎

“big, scary bonten man,” you mumble to yourself. sanzu peaks at you over his shoulder as he cleans his gun, eyes narrowing at your tone. “never mean around me though, hm?”

he pauses, head tilting and pink hair following with it. you scoot further up the bed, laying against his pillows as he thinks. “i’m nice to mikey.”

“…that’s your boss.”

sanzu makes a show of rolling his eyes as he clicks his gun back together, satisfied with its new shine. “do you want me to be mean to you or somethin’?”

“why not?” you speak with a grin. the edge of the bed lifts as he stands, putting all his weapons away. sanzu pauses at your words, scrunching his nose in confusion. “definitely don’t look so mean ‘nd scary.”

huffing, he settles back on the bed, still sitting on the edge but a little closer this time. “i kill people, [name]. that’s pretty scary.”

you shrug, sitting up. your feet knock against his knees at the movement. “c’mon, haru,” you tilt your head back so that your neck is fully accessible, “do your worst.”

the room stills and you’re afraid you’ve pushed too far — afraid he might actually take you up on the offer. but something soft is pressed to the left side of your neck within the next second, lifting and latching onto different spots.

you gulp, feeling his responding grin against the middle of your throat.

the right side is given attention now, multiple kisses being scattered randomly. sanzu lifts his lips once more and places them on the base of your neck, his tongue and teeth making an appearance—

“ow, fucker!” you pull away from his touch with a scowl, your hand covering the new bite mark you’ve been gifted with. haru is grinning widely, teeth flashing in the light — you’re surprised you don’t see blood hanging on them. “didn’t have to bite me, haru.”

he shrugs, “wasn’t even my worst.”

you eye him, slowly dropping your hand from your sore and pulsating neck. “i feel sorry for your one night stands, then.”

sanzu hums, his right hand sliding closer to your hip and his body following until you’re face to face. it makes your cheeks heat ; makes you focus on the movement of his lips as he grins. “they won’t matter much anymore, anyways. have someone new i’m seeing.”

“oh yeah?”

“yeah,” his lips brush against your neck once more. sanzu tugs at your waist, bringing you closer to him as his voice softens into a whisper and settles against your ear. “if you’ll have me.”

DRAKEN ♥︎

a towel is handed to you, followed by a hoodie you know isn’t yours. draken’s cheeks flush, “in case you get cold.”

with an awkward wave, he leaves you alone. the shower you take is needed, warming you up and calming you down at the same time. no matter how long you’d known him, it was still the first time you’d be with draken all night.

the rainstorm appeared suddenly and disappeared as abruptly. it’d drenched you just as you and draken left the cafe you met at. his place was closer, he’d said, and he asked so quietly for you not to say anything. 

it was weird until you got to his place — a brothel.

“alright in there, cutie?” you’d just stepped out of the shower when the voice followed you through the walls. “ken asked me to check on you.”

they were sweet, the women that surrounded draken. they made sure you weren’t hungry ; didn’t need any refreshments or anything as they led you to draken’s room. “have a nice night!” they leave with a giggle.

draken eyes the smile you’re wearing as you tug his hoodie comfortably around your neck. “somethin’ happen?”

“they’re nice,” is all you say in response. his cheeks heat up once more as he turns away from you, body stiffening. “are you ready for bed?”

“oh—“ he clears his throat and shuffles where he stands. “you can take the bed. i’ll have the floor.”

you shake your head, pulling the blanket back and patting the bed. “i don’t mind sharing. right or left side?”

that’s how you end up face to face with draken, staring absently into the dark as your combined body heat warms the comforter. you can feel and hear him let out a sigh, “you okay? all comfy?”

“yeah,” your voice is embarrassingly breathy. he lets out another huff before an arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his chest. “oh— that’’s better, actually.”

draken lets out a laugh, “m’glad. goodnight, [name].” 

SENJU ♥︎

“on the count of three!” senju jumps out of the dressing room adjacent to yours. she pauses, wobbling where she stands before straightening up. her head tilts, “it’s... something, alright!”

you pause, “you hate it.”

“...a little.” senju struts off, grabbing two of everything that catches her eye. she looks over the cloth she’s picked out, nodding in approval. “here,” she stuffs the fabric into your arms, “try this instead.”

you take a bit to figure out what she’d even brought to you — figuring which was the top and which the bottom — struggling to squeeze yourself in. once situated and comfortable, you gaze into the mirror.

it’s cute, watch senju told you to wear. the color is nice and balances your skin out, brightening it and making it glow. the bottoms fit your legs nicely, shaping and enlongating them. you hum in satisfaction, peeking out of the dressing room to see if senju’s done.

“[name]! let me see your outfit!” senju spots you right away. she gestures for you to join her enthusiastically. you open the door fully, scooting out until you’re face to face with her.

you hold out your arms nonchalantly, “ta-da.”

her eyes widen, mouth falling open ever so slightly. snapping it closed, she gulps, looking away before her cheeks turned color. you tilt your head, “senju?”

“yeah,” her voice cracks. the outfit she’s wearing is the same as yours — a matching moment, she went with. senju giggles nervously, “yeah. you look... pretty.”

prettier than she’d ever tell you.

IZANA ♥︎

the smell of lumpia and fried chicken coats the room around you. ran had just rinsed the rice, moving to mix together the rice noodles and shrimp for the palabok. kakucho is to his left, slicing boiled eggs so they could go on top.

you let out a sigh, nodding your head at the impressive menu you’d whiped together. filipino food was a little out of your comfort zone, an unkown taste to you. however, today was an important day — a special one. the oven dings, indicating the cake you’d made was finished. 

fresh out of the oven, the simplistic chocolate cake looks and smells delicious. you slap your hands together, “jus’ needs to cool down and we’re ready to go!”

the front door opens suddenly, rindou’s voice calling out a warning as he enters. shion is right behind him, pink-faced and sheepish as izana steps in, hands crossed over his chest. he raises and eyebrow, “what’s this?” 

“uh—“ kakucho adjusts the apron he’s wearing. it matches the one you’re wearing — ran refused one. he looks around, “surprise?”

“rindou! you were supposed to keep him busy!”

the blond shrugs, “he got bored.”

you sigh, closing your eyes as the food you’ve made is thoroughly examined. izana meets your gaze and raises his eyebrow in question once again. “it was supposed to be a birthday surprise.”

“...it’s filipino food.”

“yeah,” you wring your hands nervously. “you haven’t had it in a while, so i thought i’d try making it.”

izana looks over the food again, stealing a bite here and there as he goes. his eyes close ; his chest expanding with the comfort the familiar dishes bring. when his eyes open, they’re brighter ; more tender than what you’re used to seeing. 

your left hand is raised, a kiss being placed on your knuckles as izana pulls you close. “thank you, [name]. this means a lot.”

you grin, “happy birthday, z.”

AIURA ♥︎

in the morning, right after she does her makeup and before her uniform is on, aiura looks to her crystal ball for guidance. just a way to know things will be okay ; the day won’t be weird.

through the crystalline sphere, she sees her hand clasped in someone else’s. giddy, aiura believes this means she’s found her chosen one. the one made for her ; the one who will love her endlessly.

“—has to be the one!” she’s ranting to an unlistening saiki, rambling about her peek into the future. kaidou slips from leaning against her desk at her words. aiura sighs happily, “i can’t wait to meet them.”

a faceless classmate interupts the moment. “some idiots are fighting outside.”

you go to look — aiura can’t even remember when you came into the room. you rub your eyes tiredly before they widen dramatically. “that’s our idiot! aren’s out there!”

people flood outside, pouring out to help their beaten and bruised classmate. aiura is frozen in her seat — how did she not see this? how did a fight just miraculously break out?

a touch breaks her out of her thoughts. you’re holding her hand — frowning and ranting as you lead her outside. aiura’s face heats — you’re her chosen one? her one and only happiness? 

she gulps as she looks up to your face. this changes things. 

SAIKI ♥︎

the day starts normally. kaidou tells saiki he’d spent the night fighting agianst the dark reunion — he was studying all night. kuboyasu fought the urge to threaten an older boy in the school — just barely. nendou had already asked to eat ramen — they’d just gotten to school. 

saiki let out a sigh, eyes staring at the board in front of him. aiura had bought a new perfume that was clouding his nose, his thoughts — everything. she leans her head to the right so that she could meet his gaze. “what do you think, saiki?”

she’s met with silence. the chair behind him creaks as you sit down, a small laugh being let out as you do. aiura pouts your way, “[name], saiki’s ignoring me!”

you tap saiki’s shoulder lightly, just a brush of a touch, before turning to the blond. “don’t take it personal, aiura. you can just ask me what you want.”

“an angel,” she beams at you. aiura turns to face you fully, scrunching her nose at saiki as she goes. “i got some new perfume and nail polish recently,” she flashes her fingers at you. “cute, right?” 

you lean in closer, chin barely brushing against saiki’s shoulder as you go. you let out a small oooh! at the sigh of her glitzed up nails. “super cute, actually!”

she squints, leaning in a little closer as she does. “you’re wearing a new eyeshadow, aren’t you?”

“i am!” you close your eyes completely, relaxing your face so she can see the color. “like it?”

“looks... familiar for some reason.”

saiki peers at you sneakily from over his shoulder, only looking at you from the corner of his eye. he whips his head around before anyone can see. it is familiar — it’s his exact eye color. it takes everything in saiki to not light up in flames at the thought.

SATAN ♥︎

you had been an acquaintance of satan for months now. he’d come to you when he felt upset ; when the only feeling he could name was rage. when the world was burning and erupting inside of him, boiling and spilling out of his seams. he often took his anger out on you — with your consent, of course. he’s bruise you, scratch you and leave his mark lingering in any way he could.

today, though… today was the opposite. there was an emptiness inside of him ; a devoid and barren system that left him feeling nothing.

satan came to you, straggling and stone-faced as he locked his fingers into yours. you’d gotten close during your times together ; he knew every sigh you made and every face you held. you did the same to him ; made him feel comfort and freedom in ways he couldn’t around his brothers. that’s why he usually came to you when any feeling hit — you didn’t feel suffocating the way the house of lamentation always did.

“you okay?” you’re on his lap somehow, thighs sandwiching his own as his fingers dig into your hips. you brush his hair out of his eyes, “satan?”

he lets out a hum. you jostle slightly, hips meeting his torso — satan let’s out a small groan and let’s his forehead fall to your shoulder. “need me to help you relax?”

it starts off slow, your kissing. the usual upkeep is messy ; tangled and rushed as your clothes are ripped away and your bodies pressed tightly. this time, satan is careful to turn your head the way he wants it to, his hands on your cheekbones and guiding your head left and right.

you’ve just unbuttoned his shirt when you feel it. tears, dripping down your own cheeks. you pause, pulling away and letting your hands lift from his shoulders and settle on his cheeks. you tilt your head, “satan?”

his fingertips welted into your back, molding themselves onto either side of your spine like a pair of faded wings. satan breathes in, his chest stuttering with the feeling. he sniffs, nose and eyebrows curving in confusion as he pulls further away from you. “what’s going on?”

“you’re crying.” you wipe underneath his eyes gently, frown on your kissed, puffy lips. “why are you crying? what’s wrong?”

“i… i’m not sure,” his lower lip trembles. satan falls deeper into your hold, his arms looping around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “feeling too much.”

his fingers dip underneath your shirt, and pull it up until you’re bare and exposed. satan smiles tenderly and you grin back, your own hands crawling up his exposed chest. “sure you’re okay?”

“good with you,” it’s murmured against your neck. satan sniffs again before nipping at your throat, opened mouth kisses trailing down to your sternum. “always good with you.”

LEON S. KENNEDY ♥︎

the bar you’ve found yourself at is starting to get boring. you leave after waving eagerly to your friends, shuffling on the sidewalk as you awkwardly pull your phone from its safe spot. a text from leon catches your eye — a mere thumbs up to the long paragraphs you’d sent his way. you scowl only to realize you’re closer to his apartment than you thought.

he wasn’t asleep — he never slept well — but he wasn’t fully awake either. hearing a tap on his door was strange, but leon let it be, assuming his neighbors had hit the wall on their way in.

until a long, drawn out whine of his name flew through the room.

swaying in his doorway was you ; eyes half-lided and your shirt falling down your shoulder. you grin his way, “hi, lee!”

“[name]. why’re you here?” he sounds gruff ; annoyed with the way you seem to always show up at his door. you know he isn’t, though, used to the tone his voice holds. leon holds his door open as you stagger inside, “been drinkin’ again?”

“mm,” you flop onto his couch, “birthday party. got bored. remembered you jus’ came home.”

leon quietly places your shoes by the door and grabs a blanket while you yawn. “missed me then?”

you let out another hum, pulling the blanket he’d given you further up your shoulders. slowly, your eyes peel open and you smile at him softly. “always miss you when you’re gone, lee. like when you’re home.”

home wasn’t something leon remembers. he moved around a lot now, going from city to city for his government affiliated job. home meant the presence of care ; of warmth. leon’s bare, empty apartment held nothing like that. crystal eyes fell to you when you let out a small hiccup, sagging to the right until your head fell on his shoulder.

“m’home for now, [name].”

TAMAKI ♥︎

haruhi adjusts the hat you’re wearing, making sure the blue blouse you’re wearing is tucked in properly. you shuffle in your spot nervously, fingers picking at your cuticles as she nods to herself. her eyes meet yours, “you’ll do fine, [name].”

“says you,” you frown. you stretch the neck of your blouse and clear your throat. “you guys are used to this stuff.”

haruhi swats your hands away, grabbing them in her own. “you will do fine. c’mon, it’s time to start.”

“welcome!”

tamaki doesn’t have time to speak to you ; doesn’t have time to admire the outfit you’re wearing before they’re greeting guests. his eyes stray to you again and again, his attention on you and not the guests who surround him. you go to every table, dropping off sweet treats and teacups as you go.

“—lly cute.” a girl is saying to him. tamaki blinks back into reality as his shoulder is touched. “right, tamaki?”

“could you repeat that, princess?”

her cheeks flare a bright pink as she straightens up in her seat. “i said you and [name] match. howl and sophie, right? it’s really cute.”

tamaki’s eyes find you again as you drop slices of cake off at the twins’ table. they giggle with you, tugging on your hat playfully before you leave. “we do match, don’t we?”

orchid eyes stay focused on you for the rest of the day. even after the club’s activities are over, and you’re helping clean up — he still stares. you finally look back, placing your hat on a table as you go. “yes, tamaki? you’ve been staring.”

“we’re sophie and howl,” his voice is light, faraway as he speaks. “did you notice?”

“only after i saw you.” you smile gently, watching kyoya tally up any and every cost. “a nice surprise for us both, i suppose.”

tamaki stares at your reflection in the window in front of him, eyeing the way you portray your chosen characters. his cheeks barely heat, but he still feels like it’s obvious to everyone. haruhi meets his flustered gaze and grins.

——♥︎—— i know nothing abt cooking n even less abt filipino food so i hope izanas was okay </3 hope they were all okay tbh

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[mayuichi]

Spending your birthday with them.

Include:

Genshin Impact [ Alhaitham, Wriothesley, Heizou ]

Honkai: Star Rail [ Aventurine & Veritas Ratio ]

Persona 5 [ Akechi Goro ]

Moriarty the Patriot [ William James Moriarty & Fred Porlock ]

Content Warning: fem!reader, I'm sorry for men that may read this! If you easily switch pronouns in your mind then go ahead, but there's mention of the reader wearing a dress at some point! (kind of irrevelant though, so I think you can imagine something else then?), pet names and.. that's all i think-. it's just a fluff so...

may's note: im so sorry i took so long to come back!! ive got a lot on my plate recently, i had planned another oneshot to come out but but BUUT!! My best friend's birthday is right around the corner when I write this (aha just a day before.. hi..) so im writing this for her, with her favourites and some that i know she loves <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! I HOPE YOULL HAVE AN AMAZING DAY AND THAT YOU GOT THAT PLUSH YOU WANTED TO GO WITH AVENTURINE!! ive kinda rushed this to come out ngl, because its been a month im like "i have the time" until i didnt have time anymore.. sorry if it sucks :(

This artwork has been made by susucre! Do not steal/use it! every other used for the headers are official arts!

Even if he doesn't want to, he has duties now. Or at least, unexpected duties. But you can be sure Alhaitham always makes some time for you. How can he not? You're his sweetheart. Well, he isn't one to give sweet names but he still thinks so.

However, how could've you expect him to forget about your birthday? It's once a year, and he doesn't really care much about them usually. But we're talking about you. Of course he can't forget about it. He wants you happy, and he knows you'd hate if he doesn't at least wish you a happy birthday.

But what was your surprise when you find him still in bed, beside you, his right arm drapped over you as he reads from the other. Isn't he supposed to be at work, at the Akademiya? You don't even have the time to inquire, he saw your eyes fluttering open.

“Good morning.„ he briefly looks over you, before focusing back onto his book. But he strokes your side with his hand gently. He isn't much of a talker, but his small gestures are everything, aren't they?

He rapidly finishes his page, and places the book down to turn to you. “I'll let you take a shower and I'll prepare you breakfast.„ you can't even reply that he's already out of bed and heading to the kitchen. You'll just have to go shower.

It's your special day. Of course you'll wear a pretty dress, you want to feel extra pretty for today. When done, you head to the living room, finding him waiting for you to eat. It isn't a feast, but more than enough for the both of you. The silence is comfortable, only your breathing.

“Where are you going?„ he inquires when he sees you about to open the front door. You thought you'd go on a walk. “I haven't overworked myself for a week so I could have a full day off for you to ditch me, you know?„

It wasn't much, maybe even a bit offensive for some. But the idea that he paid attention enough to be certain to have a complete day off for you is enough to make you smile. And so, you chuckle and walk towards him.

“The weather is nice. It's sunny. We should go out together, don't you think?„ you tilt your head, waiting for his approval.. or for a compromise.

“It is. It's the perfect weather to do nothing at all. Or to read next to a window.„ without further notice, he stands and pulls you with him to the nearby window. Making you sit in his lap, he pulls out a book and rests his chin on top of your head.

“Maybe it isn't the best birthday you'll ever have, but I hope my company is enough.„ he isn't necessarily insecure, far from it even. But it's your special day. He just wants to make you happy, doesn't he?

And even if he says so, just reading in his lap with him, is enough. Spending time with him makes it nicer. Leaning further into his chest, you sigh and start to read with him. He's careful to wait for you, to ensure you finished before he actually turns the page.

He'll take breaks from time to time to make you both a drink, or to let you talk a bit. It isn't partying, but being able to spend the day together, reading and talking, without him possibly thinking about his duties is a luxury he doesn't always allow himself.

And he's more than glad for it to be with you.

∞ ₒ ˚ ° 𐐒˚ ◌༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ⋆·˚ ༘ *︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚༊*·˚

Until now, Wriothesley was used to stay in the Fortress most of his time. It never bothered him. Sigewinne keeps him company, and his prisoners aren't too bad most of the time. Even Neuvillette or Clorinde comes visit him from time to time.

But it changed when he met you. He didn't want you to be that often in the Fortress, and yet he couldn't help but want you. You don't know it, but he even asked Neuvillette for your birthday. It has never been that much of a talk in between you. You were both kind of over it after all. You aren't toddlers for who it is extremely important to get one year older.

But he wants your first birthday with him to be special, to be something you'd remember. He wants to make this day amazing. And for that, he had to have permissions and ensure the paperwork was done before that day. He had to be prepared for any possibility, to be called in for an emergency if someone tried to escape, or if they get overwhelmed and for your day to be ruined.

But he was willing to take that risk.

On your occasional weekly visit, you both talk and drink tea together, as any other time. You're not sure when, yet now, he has you in his arms, holding you close. It is as if he believed you were leaving. He's quick to compose himself and just steals a kiss from you, to hide his worries behind that smirk he always has when he surprises you.

“By the way, I've heard your birthday is soon, isn't it?„ you raise an eyebrow. You haven't told him, yet he knows. “Would you like us to spend the day together?„

You were so sure he meant inside the Fortress of Meropide, that when he mentioned that it wouldn't be there, but in the city, your eyes widened. Of course, you firstly worried about his work. It isn't like he's just a guard who could take a day off or a sick day. He has a prison to keep in place.

But he assured you it'd be alright. And so you trust him. There's no reason for you not to.

Your birthday was soon to come, and you waited for him in front of the Fortress' entrance. Dressed in a pretty outfit, that you kept on for this occasion, you obviously felt amazing. And upon seeing you, Wriothesley grinned. “Someone made herself extra beautiful for today.„

His tone flirty, he wraps his left arm around your waist and pulls you close, pressing his lips on your hair. “It suits you perfectly. But you're always beautiful.„ his words meant the world to you.

And so began the day. Wriothesley is careful, meticulous even. He makes sure you stay hydrated, well fed and have fun. If you want a pastry, he'll buy it without a second thought. This piece of jewerly looks pretty on you? He'll offer it to you, no matter the cost.

It's weird for everyone to see the Duke out of the Fortress. He's respected for sure, and well known. You hold hands all day long, sometimes stealing kisses when you're in a alley or when no one's looking.

When the sun fades away to let the moon takes place, stars show up too. Now sitting near the water, you both look up at the navy blue sky. Wriothesley lets out a sigh and clears his throat. “I hope you had fun. I'm not sure when I'd be capable to have such a long time outside the Fortress without it being work related.„

Sure or not, you're just happy he manages to have time for you. And he's relieved everything went smoothly. He leans closer to you, his lips grazing your cheek. “Happy birthday.„

And even if it has caused him some stress, he's ready to do it over again next year if it makes him see your eyes so sparkly and shiny with delightment and happiness.

He'd risk anything to see you smile and hear your laughers echoing in his ears.

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ‧̫‧ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛-

The good part of being a detective is that he knows how to not leave any clue about his true intentions. And so, he can surprise you whenever he wants and you won't even realise he has planned it for a while!

Since Heizou can hardly take a day off recently, you agreed it'd be better if you spend the day with your friends and just leave your evening for him.

It was an amazing day, your friends and you strolled around the city, went to some fancy places and just spoiled you entirely. But it felt off, knowing that Heizou wasn't with you like you wished he could've.

They dropped you by your house, and with a sigh, you stepped inside. Of course Heizou wasn't home yet. It wasn't surprising, he's quite overwhelmed with work lately. Yet there was a small disappointment in your chest. Your heart was a bit heavier. But you brush it off.

By the time he gets home, you had just finished preparing dinner. He steps closer with that shitty grin and clears his throat. “Such a sweetie, making dinner when I hoped I'd have time to treat you today.„ of course, he doesn't want you to do any effort for today, but his schedule decided otherwise.

And so, with a swift movement, he shoves a bouquet against your chest. “I know it isn't much compared to how it could've been nicer to spend the day together, but I hope it'll make it up for it a bit.„

Heizou has always been a romantic at heart, he loves it when he sees your cheeks flushing and feels your breath growing faster from his teasing. And he's delighted to see that sweet blush spreading slowly.

Leaning in close, he takes your hands in his, and presses a chaste kiss on your lips. “Let's eat dinner and enjoy the time we have tonight, alright? I need to make it up for you.„

He lets you take care of the bouquet first, ensuring it won't die just yet. He teases you about your day, plays with you some games and even let you win for once. And needless to say the night ends in something.. more than just flirt and teasing.

But he hopes next year won't be as busy, so he can treat you like the princess you are in his eyes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ☽ ✧˖*°࿐ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A gambler. That's what he'll always be no matter what, no matter the day. He needs to work every single day, to be a good asset for the IPC. He can't afford losing. He will never accept it.

But today, Aventurine thought it'd be nice to let you experience gambling too. Well, not as much as he usually does, but more in a regular casino. He's obviously well known here, and has some free drinks. But he wants you to enjoy it too.

He teaches you how to do, the ropes of each games. To guess when to stop, and more importantly of course, to understand the rules and that losing can cost a lot. But deep down, Aventurine doesn't give a fuck about how much money you'll lose. He has way more than someone can think of.

Each games were fun, but you hated seeing those girls eyeing him like you don't exist. Don't they see you, the gorgeous girl sitting next to him, with who he holds hands? Or perhaps they don't care. But it frustrates you.

Even more so when one comes closer and accidentally spills wine on Aventurine's jacket. He doesn't react at first. But he grows more and more impatient as she tries to clean her mess.

But he got fed up when she literally sat in between the both of you. Who does she think she is? “Excuse me, Miss,„ with a dry chuckle and bright smile, he stands up and walks behind her, “don't you see her?„

Swiftly, almost as if he has always been ready for it, he pulls you close, your head resting on his chest. Your face flushes bright red of course, but you don't say anything. “She already holds the string. And compared to you, she doesn't care about my money. So if you please, do not dare to bother us further on her special day.„

He leads you away, and yet, casts them a last glance, “Except if you want to face the consequences, that is. But I doubt you would like it.„

He'd never let anyone makes you feel inferior, nor worthless, and even less when it's supposed to be your day. The day he caters to your every need without any complaint or question.

Upon arriving to a new game, away from those nuisance, he holds your hand in his, pressing his forehead against yours. “I'm sorry, darling. But I promise you, you're the only one in my eyes. The prettiest, the cutest, and the most loveable woman I've ever set my eyes on.„

He'd cherish you. He knows the pain, and he wants to keep you away from it. He struggles at time, but every effort is worth of your smile. Every day is a delight to get home to you, to know you're his, and that he's yours.

That he has a home. A home with you.

☆.｡.:*　❥　-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-　☽　.｡.:*☆

What were you thinking when you first confessed to him? Of course you thought he'd reject you. We're talking about Veritas Ratio. But to your surprise, he accepted! But maybe you should've been careful... He's a teacher.

It isn't uncommon for Veritas Ratio to call you stupid or dumb, because you don't understand something or that you made a mistake on something simple. But you also know he'll always be here for you.

Compared to one of his colleage, he isn't particularly rich. Don't get me wrong, he is completely financially stable, and he won't be anytime soon the type to get ruined. But basically, if you need special teaching in something he doesn't master, he won't hesitate to help you with it.

He can't help but put intellect into a bit everything he does. But he knows it can piss you off at times, especially when it's not the moment for it.

Today, he has a long day. Longer than intended. So you nicely bring him lunch. Yet he requests of you to stay until his break is over. You know he isn't one to care about birthdays, but he does remember them if he is supposed to know them. Yours is no exception.

“I'm going to be home later than usual tonight, but perhaps you have any wish for how we spend our time?„ it isn't often that he lets you so openly choose. But you don't wait more time to ask if you could watch a movie and snuggle. You need nothing more than some rest, and so does he.

Laughers fill the empty classroom, except for the both of you. He knows when to not overdo it, especially with you. He will never admit it entirely, but he doesn't want to risk losing you. He can't. Not when you bring him so much by just existing.

There's a reason why he doesn't want you to be to close to that blonde, don't you think? But it doesn't matter.

In the evening, after you shared dinner, you set on the couch with him, snuggling up. His left hand caressing your side while his right one is holding a pen. Of course he can't only watch a movie, he needs to keep on going with his paperwork. But he doesn't entirely focus on it.

However, from time to time, you'd hear from Veritas that he clicks his tongue. He seems rather.. unpleased. And when you take a look, you don't see anything wrong. “Of course you don't, you're too much of an idiot to realise that student's mistake. What a pity.„

Unfortunately for you, you dared to ask what was the mistake.. and now you're in for a lecture. He sits you up and explains to you, in a rather annoyed tone. It isn't a surprise to say that you both don't even noticed when the movie has finished.

You're about to stand up when he holds you back, pulling you in his lap. “Don't you dare run away from my lecture. You asked to know, so you'll know.„ It promises to be an interesting evening and night, especially if you try to push your luck.

Veritas will make sure you get the appropriate punishment if his patience runs out by the time he's done with you.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ੈ✩‧₊˚ೃ⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚.ೃ࿐

Have you ever imagined he'd steal your heart? A detective by day, a Phantom Thief by night. He earned his title well, he's definitely a prince in your eyes.

“Are you still listening?„ Akechi inquires. You have to admit, you weren't. You were too charmed into his eyes, shining as he shares his day with you.

“I've been thinking, there's an amusement park not far from here. Would you like to go with me?„ he asks. He isn't really scared of asking you on a date anymore. Of course, he couldn't help but feel like he isn't enough at times. But you love him, right? He can't let his insecurities win over.

And so, you are now on a date with him, on your birthday. He cares for a bit everything. He makes sure the sun isn't hitting you too hard, that you drink enough, and especially have fun.

You're the only one lucky enough to see him almost constantly out of his detective prince persona. To know the real him. He has his issues, and sometimes he may snaps at you. But he apologises and proves that he changes. He already does, but he tries to make sure you know he's willing to become better for you.

You're his light, and he can't lose you. At first, he even thought you loved that coffee shop's employee, but he felt lucky when you reciprocated his feelings.

Since then, Akechi would take you out often. To the beach, at restaurant, or even just for a walk. He wants you to know he cares, and he wants you only. He needs to be careful though, but he makes it work out.

Getting into a bit every attractions, he even ends up winning you a teddy bear. No one is ever too old for one after all, right? As he hands it to you, he presses a kiss on your lips, soft and tender, as if he wants the time to stop.

The sun sets slowly, and you get into the Ferris Wheel to end up the day. It's cozy, just the two of you. He holds you close, his nose in your hair as he breathes in your scent. “Happy birthday, my love.„

Why would he need to say anything more? Your heart races, and you look up at him with a sheepish smile. No one can mistake that expression on both of your faces. You're so undeniably in love with each other.

“I know I fucked up, especially when you discovered what I've done. But I'll become better. For you, and for us. So please, stay with me.„ he couldn't help but squeezing you tighter against him, as if you won't allow him time.

“I love you. So fucking much.„ he whispers as the sun disappears from view, letting the moon rise slowly. He'll always do his best for you, to be worthy of you.

Because he loves you. And he'll make every birthday from now on special for you.

·:¨༺ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　✮　☄. *. ⋆ ༻¨:·

It took him time to allow himself to be vulnerable in front of you. To allow you to see the worst part of him. To see the monster beneath. He was certain he'd lose you. And yet, you're still here, beside him.

William is more than delighted to know you aren't ready to leave him. To know you'll stay. He doesn't entirely understand his feelings himself, but he has them, and that's all that matters.

To say William cares about birthdays is an understatement. He doesn't make big things, but he shows his care for sure. So don't you dare think you'll be an exception.

He has been quite busy lately, but he made sure he'd be here for your birthday. From waking to sleep. He stays in bed with you until you stir awake. Your eyes flutter open, the first sight being his blonde locks.

He presses a gentle kiss on your forehead and lets you get ready while he goes preparing breakfast for you. Going downstairs, you smell the sweet scent of food filling your nose.

He serves you, as well as himself, before eating and letting you talk of whatever comes in your mind. He could listen to you all day long, but today wasn't that. He'd spend some quality time with you, no matter what.

He helps you putting on your coat, and holds your hand as you get inside the carriage. He feels your head resting on his shoulder, and he simply caresses the back of your hand with his thumb.

Getting into town, he dismisses the carriage for now. No need for that. He wants you to enjoy the place. If there's something appealing to you, he'll be ready to let you have it. But in the end, he's mostly the one who wants to buy you things.

A beautiful necklace, it'd go perfectly around your neck. Gesturing you to get closer, he carefully puts it around your neck and smiles. “It looks beautiful on you.„ his voice, smooth and quiet, holds so much love. Without hesitation, he buys it for you.

You walk hands in hands, past bakeries and shops, stopping when something would be nice for you. You're definitely spoiled, and it was unexpected for you. You aren't with William for his money, and he knows it. But today, he wants to make sure you'll remember it.

By the evening, inside the carriage to get back home, he lets you rest against him. It has been a tiring day after all, yet so thrilling. But the best was to come in his eyes.

Entering the manor, the living room has been decorated especially for you, a bouquet from Fred's garden waiting as well as a freshly baked cake by Louis. And they were all here too. Well, some like Sebastian aren't so happy, but they could make that effort.

He has planned it all, and it was worth it. For that smile, those happy tears, and those laughers and happiness filling the manor for the rest of the evening.

⋆˚｡⋆୨୧˚︵‿︵‿୨✧༺♥༻∞୧‿︵‿︵‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

He has never been much of a talker. Ever since you both met, he mostly listened to you, no matter what you'd say. And he has a great memory too.

Fred is a caring man, he just stays quiet. He doesn't want to be noticed, he likes his tranquility, despite the circumstances of his current work under William. He absolutely adores the idea of being in charge of the garden, though.

He doesn't show it, but he appreciates plants and flowers. And whenever you may search him, you always find him there. He's peacefully repotting some flowers, to make sure they can grow further.

His head snaps up when you ask him if you can help. “Shouldn't you.. be with the others, celebrating your birthday..?„ he's unsure. He looks at you with suspicions, but in the end, he relents. You must have your reasons to not be celebrating it with them.

He loves spending time with you, but he doesn't want you to restrain yourself from having a good time just because he's tending to flowers.

But when he sees you, right here, with a smile as you carefully move a flower, it feels him with joy. He doesn't show his love much, he does it through small gestures like making sure there's always some of your favourite flowers in the bedroom for the scent. Or to stay with you throuhough breakfast.

It's those small gestures that makes you love him even more each day. And you just want to spend time with him, especially today.

He shyly scoots closer to you, to correct you. “You shouldn't be doing it like that.. it can hurt the roots.„ he doesn't scold you, he just tries to teach you.

Yet, he doesn't move away once done. He stays close. Until he gathered the courage to press his lips against your temple. “Happy birthday.„

It's cute, the way he quickly walks away to care for other plants. But you just thank him quietly. The day passes in a blur, and without even noticing, the moon is in the sky, and you're both still in the greenhouse.

He holds you tight against him, the garden not over yet but it's too late to keep working. And he has cut a rose to give you, making sure to also cut the thorns so you can't get hurt.

“We should head back inside, it's getting cold.„ he helps you up, until you're both home. He even helps to wash your hands, in your sleepy state.

He never thought he'd enjoy gardening with someone so much, and yet..

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

/ᐠ - ˕ •マ Ⳋ mayuchi's property. do not repost, copy or translate without permission.

[httpsserene]

ꜱɪɴɢɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴡᴇʀ w/ ʟɴ4

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: lando’s usually well spent sunday off with his girlfriend is different this time around. you put off your everything shower and wash-day causing some edits to the usual routine. how the night ends, however, is 100% lando’s fault. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: fluff/borderline?crack(if u think im funny). one or two mentions of sex, not explicit at all. not edited to beta-read. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: lando norris x black!fem!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: oneshot 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: singing in the shower ~ becky g

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: preface: hello! it’s late night or early morning for me, i guess, when i’m posting this. i was going to say this is my first rpf ever, but that’s a bold-faced lie ☠️but! it is my first f1 work! i hope you enjoy it! i’d love to have some f1 mutuals out here, if anyone wants <3. also requests are open, just come talk to me and ramble about anything, or any idea you have the f1 boys, i’d love to have some great anons and asks to fulfill. hope you enjoy it :)

it’s a rare sunday where you and lando are both home together. usually you two would take advantage of this and make the most out of it. you’d lay in bed late into the morning with an excessively cuddly boyfriend, cook a nice and healthy brunch together you cook, lando handles the soundtrack and vibes because he loses all coordination in the kitchen, play a co-op video game that you guys have been working your way through for a month, go out on a nice little dinner date, and have great sex before knocking out.

HOWEVER, this week you have kinda forgotten that you need to do your hair. originally you had an appointment that tuesday to get a silk press done with your usual hairstylist, but she canceled on you. once you got that “hey girly...” text you’d known there was no hope of rescheduling, for that week at least. so, you decided to do your own hair sometime later in the week, but your boyfriend was home for the first time after a triple-header, and was a terrible lovely distraction. you also had to work, unfortunately, you had to clean the flat, you had to eat, and you had to breathe—so understandably, you’ve ended up pushing your wash-day/hair-day and everything-shower to the last minute.

you apologized several times to lando during breakfast for your forgetfulness and wasting valuable “boyfriend-girlfriend time” as lando coined. but lando is lando—a sweetheart at his core—so he refused to accept your apologies with an “don’t apologize for something so minor, love,” and even offered to help you tackle the fight you end up almost losing every time…. vs. your hair. 

you kindly denied his assistance knowing damn well that if he was in the shower with you, your hair wouldn’t be done until late that night due to a different type of lando-distraction. you suggested that lando streamed while you were doing your shower and hair, and that you could still go out for dinner that evening. lando was pretty receptive to the idea, especially after he made sure that you were 100% okay with him not helping you do your hair (he usually does, you’ve got him trained pretty good; all he needs is the license at this point), and the fact that it’s been like 3 months since he last streamed.

lando posts that he’s streaming starting at noon, and after a brief make out against the sink post-dishwashing that leaves your lips swollen and head foggy, he goes to take a shower and start setting up his stream equipment. cursing lando’s smug-ass face as he walks away, you let him know that you're stepping out to the beauty supply store to get a few items before you start your little routine and that you might not see him before his stream starts. he does a 180, and rushes back to you from down the hallway to give you one more mind boggling kiss and with a smile says, “text me when you get there and when you’re back. i’ll have my phone on dnd but your messages are set to pass through it, so if you don’t want to be seen on stream today you don’t have to worry about it.” internally, you’re pretty sure your heart just imploded at the mindfulness this boy has—that your boyfriend has. somehow, it still surprises you how mature lando is for how silly he acts most of the time.

“you’re too sweet to me, lan.” you respond with a shy smile, “i probably won’t interrupt you today—i’ll let your delulu fans have custody, and deal with you!” lando throws his head back and does his usual demonic laugh, “hey! my fans are not that delusional, but i am afraid that you’re losing the custody battle!” he kisses you on the cheek, and with that you separate until later that day.

or so you thought. you knew lando’s super sweet behavior was too sus without him being his usual gremlin-self at least once.

when you get back from the beauty supply store (which should’ve been a fifteen-minute trip at most, turned into a near hour after the usual shenanigans you find yourself involved in buying things you don’t need), lando’s already started his stream. you text him letting him know you’re about to hop into the shower, and start heading to en-suite bathroom.

when you open the door, the mirror is slightly covered with remaining steam from lando’s shower, and you can see his clothes hanging half-inside the hamper. which is an improvement from being left on the floor—choose your battles, ladies. but as you move further into the bathroom, setting down your everything-shower supplies, changing into your silk robe and bonnet—you pick up on a lingering scent that should not be present.

your ninety-four fucking dollar scalp revival shampoo.

you’ve had that shampoo since you were seventeen, using it only when extremely necessary. you didn’t even pay for it, it was something your mom bought you as a pretty thoughtful and useful gift after you complained about your scalp suddenly getting super sensitive. it lasted through your senior year of grade school, all of university, and goddamn-it, two boyfriends!!! you let out a bit of an hysterical giggle (seek mental help, babe) and walk to the shower to grab the jar. the problem is: you know there was only probably one more usage left.

turning the cap off, your worst fears are confirmed...it’s…empty. with an anguished cry, you fall to your knees on the tiled floor—it’s like your childhood pet died. you gently set the jar down on the floor, and stare dazedly at the ceiling. what makes it worse is: you know that lando probably didn’t even use it properly. he most likely didn’t even let it sit for the mandatory 15 minutes that all girls do as an excuse to waste more time in the shower, he prob- he probably rinsed it out right after he massaged it in; that thought right there almost had you crying. oh, and what makes it even worse-r , what was a one-use sized amount for you was like, three for lando, so if he used it sparingly, you would’ve at least gotten to cherish it for the last time.

and with that, you rise from the floor, like some sort of re-animated monster—and with a twitching eye, start stomping to lando’s stream room. before you barge in, you remember what you're wearing: a black silk robe, matching bonnet, glasses, and your cute orange shark slides (lando bought them for you, he has a matching pair). you do the mental math of caring about this being on the internet for the rest of your life, but eventually the opportunity of terrorizing lando wins out over whatever a digital footprint is.

the door swings open, and with your shout of, “lando norris!” the pinging of his chat becomes rapid. lando looks wide-eyed at the camera and whispers, “oh fuck.” he half spins in his chair to look at you in the doorway, and is met with a flying shark slide to the neck. “oW! what did i do??” he cries out.

“you used the last of my ONE-HUNDRED DOLLAR shampoo, YOU THIEVING GREMLIN!!!” the chat notifications start cutting each other off with how fast they’re being sent.

“i didn’t use your shampoo??” he says with a bewildered look, clutching the shark slide to his chest. you seethe, “the fucking WOODEN JAR, that you didn’t even have the AUDACITY throw away, and left in the shower?!”

lando pauses, and makes an ‘a-ha’ sort of face goes, “oh, i thought that was conditioner.” you scream again and this time you don’t miss your mark. the remaining shark slide bonks him right on the forehead. “oW, again?!”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOOD REACTION TIME??!”

“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect  MY GIRLFRIEND to ASSAULT ME with the shark slides that I bought HER!!”

“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect MY BOYFRIEND to waste MY hair products!!”

lando cackles but surrenders, he reaches for you in the doorway and pulls you in between his legs with his hands gripping your hips. 

he pouts, “i’m sorry. i can buy you another batch, if you’d like. if you need it for your shower right now, i can pause the stream and run and go get for you, or get it delivered?” you sigh, looking at his wide blue eyes. you let him stew for a minute, trying to find it in you to remain mad. his thumbs start petting you gently while you think, and he leans his head forward to rest on your tummy.

you sigh again, hand coming up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and cave, “nah..don’t even worry about it. i don’t even need to use it today, i just wanted to remind you to keep your nosy-ass away from my hair products.” he nods against your abdomen, you start to pull away, and he does the same. you lean down and give him a brief peck on the cheek, and turn to exit the room. 

“oh!” you exclaim now in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, “i love you, even though you steal all my shit.”

lando giggles, cheeks turning a light pink, “i love you, princess,” the simp dripping out of every pore in his body. you point at him, “this is actually a mutually beneficial situation! now, for date night you can take me to the store to buy hair products,” lando’s smile drops, “don’t worry we can get some for you too, curly boy!” lando doesn’t even try to fight it once he sees the borderline manic grin on your face, just begging him to test you one more time. he accepts his face, “yes, love. i can’t wait for tonight, princess.”

he turns back to his stream when the door closes all the way and shakes his head. he claps his hands once, ready to get back into it, but you burst in again,

“and when i get out of that damn shower in an hour—you’re sure as hell gonna help blow dry and flat iron this shit! it’s silk press season, lando norris, we cannot be caught slacking!” you slam the door shut, and leave.

lando just blinks at the camera, mouth slightly open like that one pikachu meme. he briefly reads the chat, trying to recover, and looks at all of the chatters pick on him like he just got called to the dean’s office. some messages start to roll in about him having to end the stream.

he waits to hear the bedroom door shut, and a few more seconds for the shower to start running before he pseudo-whispers into the mic, “don’t worry, chat! she may have said an hour, but we actually have more like three. it’s her ‘everything-shower’, no-way she’ll finish that quickly. she needs an hour just to sing and dance in there before she starts actually doing anything.”

he starts to open a lobby in cod, sending invites to a few of the boys online and his phone starts vibrating on the desk. the chat starts to go wild again, recognizing its the ringtone he set for your messages. his face drops again when he opens your text thread, “oh my god, chat. she heard me, i forgot she pulls up the stream for background noise. i’m screwed.”

yninstagram • 2hrs ago

liked by landonorris, ybfsinstagram, and 123,978 others

yninstagram hairstylist did his thing for silk press season 👅

tagged landonorris

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landonorris can’t even see our faces but you can’t tell we’re both pretty

➥yninstagram pretty gyal takeover

➥user bro 😭 i can’t even call this sassy

➥user he’s just keeping it real with y’all

landonorris i’ll always take care of you like a princess

➥landonorris and one day very soon, forever treat you like a queen

➥ynistagram lan ☹️🥺

➥user proposal hint?!!!

➥user it’s a 4ever thing y’all wouldn’t understand 🥱

➥user i do 🙄 y/n comes home one day every two years and takes care of our eight children

➥user bitch—LMFAOOO

user not her gatekeeping the stylist 😤 not very girl’s girl of her

➥yninstagram he’s booked out for the foreseeable future sorry babe

➥user oh uh. that’s completely understandable. he doesn’t take walk in’s ? 😃

landonorris • 3hrs ago

liked by yninstagram, maxfewtrell, and 2,321,768 others

landonorris you attract what you fear? word, oh no a pretty gyal who lets me do her hair😱 oohhhhh how scaryyy

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram damn 🥵 she’s pretty fit

yninstagram heard her boyfriend’s finer

➥landonorris shouldn’t listen to gossip, her bf can’t match her beauty by far

➥user now THATS SOME RIZZ i didn’t know he had it in him

carlossainzjr y/nnita keep brainwashing him i’m getting good teasing material

➥ynistagram sí señor, el gusto es mio

➥carlossainzjr aye,lando her spanish is better than yours����

➥landonorris my tractor is better than yours, mmm yeah that’s what i thought

➥user DAMN LANDO CHILL

➥yninstagram he will be issuing a formal apology at the paddock next sunday señor sainz

➥user i just KNOW she got him at shark slide-point

© httpsserene 2023

[canon-in-too-deep]

Fonts: Body Fonts

I had some free time, and I thought, what could be more fun, than putting together a post of some of my thoughts on my favorite fonts? Certainly not going outside or any activity involving moving from my chair, so font talk, here we come! (Links to where to get the fonts for free included in this post). So of course first up we have the majestic Comic Sans..........I kid! <insert baaing goat gif> While it is surely a most iconic font, I will unfortunately not be covering Sir Comic of the Sans in all his glory. See below the break for the full actual post on my favorite fonts to work with.

Note, my interest in fonts is entirely enthusiastically non-professional. Thus, if there's a technical aspect I called 'the tippy bits' instead of tapers or what have you, uh, my amateur ass doth apologizes.

Body Fonts

Body fonts are the all the main parts of a text. The good ol' torso that carries the headers and stands above the footers. They're the font you see the most of and spend the most time with. They're the part of the text that hugs the eyes, to use an entirely weird metaphor. *** My favorite body fonts are the IM FELL series. Especially IM Fell English.

Look at that pretty serif. It's got a great classic appearance to it that reminds me of old paperbacks. There's a grittiness and unevenness to it that gives a more 'natural' look, and is reminiscent of text from a typewriter. The imperfections of this font (like the uneven tippy bits of that lower case y) are my favorite parts, and they add a lot of character to a text while still being legible. I know some folks may not be as fond of the italicized version of IM FELL, but personally I've never had trouble reading it, and enjoy how fancy it looks. IM FELL English is a font that could work as a letter from a gentleman's daughter to the arrogant, handsome heir visiting town, or as the carefully kept diary of a mad scientist detailing the experiment that would eventually rise up and try to kill him. Fun things like that. *** Next font is Crimson Text (there's a Crimson Pro as well, but I like the Text version better for it's fancier capitals).

Just take a look at that w. Sharp enough to cut through digital paper. And the capital W is even better. The angles, the triple Vs...whew, that letter's a work of art! It looks like it should be walking down the runway at a european fashion show and stared down by an unsmiling stone cold magazine editor.

Crimson Text is a very clean, crisp font. It's got those little sharp tippy bits at the end of letters that look like they could prick you if you tried to pick them up. Crimson Text lends itself well to more modern, artistic text. I tend to personally use Crimson Text sparingly, because while it is a very aesthetically pleasing text, it can be a bit harsh for my tastes, and difficult to work with when pairing with other fonts/design elements. Crimson Text is a font that I feel like is for a special occasion, and that occasion is hard to pinpoint, but when it arrives, it makes the most striking appearance. *** Following that, we have EB Garamond, which is probably the second most used font in my personal typesets.

Garamond is a classic. You see it a lot, in one version or another, in published works. For me, it feels very familiar and comforting to read text in EB Garamond. It's like an old, worn blanket that's still perfectly soft and plush. It's the kind of thing that'd get past down generations in the back of a closet, brought out whenever there was a need. Simple, straightforward, and timeless. The only caveat with EB Garamond is the 'e' in it's italicized form is a bit of an exhibitionist that likes to inappropriately protrude it's bottom bits out into it's neighbor. It's a quick fix to teach that 'e' some modesty if you're on Affinity. Just turn off the final forms for the font by going into Text Style Editior -> Variants -> uncheck Final Forms. And now you're prudently dressed for a night of font formatting. *** The last I'm going to talk about in this post is Baskervville. This is, as per the about page on google fonts, a 'revival of Jacob’s revival of Baskerville’s typeface'. I'm not familiar with the original Baskerville, but hey, an extra letter thrown in has to be extra lucky, right?

The thing that really sticks out for me with Baskervville is the 'o's, and the 'o' shape you can see with the 'e's and 'b's and 'd's and such. It's a very...circular, and pronounced font. Round. Rotund. Orbital. There's a flow and balance to this font that stands out, and makes it unique against other fonts on this list. Conversely, the lines of this font as much thinner and sharper than, say, the lines in the Libre Baskerville version. I like that contrast, though it is a bit of a strange one. Like having long stick thin arms and legs and a really round torso. Like one of those mascots for M&Ms (controversial footwear unspecified). Anyway, Baskervville kind of hovers between classic and modern. It's a font you see a lot of (in one version or another) in published works. It's 'family' has been around a long time, and this latest version is like the youngest son of an old, rich, prestigious family. It's got a lot of potential, and can be applied in new, exciting ways, or it can easily fall into a traditional role and live off of it's trust fund. Recently, I used Baskervville for a Pride and Prejudice modern day high school au, and it really felt like the font blended together the two worlds and two time periods well. It's kind of like a hipster that manages to pull off the fedora (a fine hat, I might say. Hats need a bigger comeback, in my opinion). *** That brings us to the end of this post. You'll have noticed that all these fonts were serif fonts. I just like serif fonts best for body fonts. They're the most commonly used in published books, and so they're the ones I've grown most comfortable with. However, a good sans serif can work well in the right setting. For my own work, though, sans serif are usually kept to titles or headers. If there's interest, I'd like to do similar posts on Drop Caps fonts, Title fonts, etc.

[amourrs]

age regression is often sexual. people who go into little space can enjoy both sexual and non sexual play. it’s not always a trauma response, some people just like it. if you wanted to learn about it, you could look into the subreddits r/cglpersonals or r/ABDLpersonals

you’re going to find some weird shit in there — but that’s the point. kink between consenting adults is often weird. it often explores taboos, like age play or pet play or even incest.

those things are not unethical just because you don’t like them.

you said: no amount of nuance is going to make me defend reader baby talking whilst joel calls her “kid” and she calls him “dad”.

women are allowed to have fantasies, dude. even if you think they’re weird. a lot of women want to feel small and soft and protected. age play and daddy kink give them a space for that.

an adult participating in age play is probably going to read a lot like they’re “child adjacent” whatever that means. the difference is that they are not a child. they are an adult who can consent, even if they pretend that they cannot to explore the taboo of a roleplay scene.

it is not the same thing as grooming. it is not the same thing as pedophilia. fanfiction is play, written for adults by adults.

here’s the thing. often it’s not a roleplay scene. the warnings on some of these fics say things such as “reader is incredibly naive and knows nothing about sex” and then has the reader act like a child and use child-like language to describe their bodies. how is that anything to do with “play”? if the reader is explicitly stated to have little to no knowledge about sex, explain to me how they can “consent” to a “taboo roleplay scene”.

i will look into these subreddits because i am willing to learn about these things but it’s still not really relevant to my point, because as stated above: it is made clear that these are not roleplay scenes.

and i think there’s a distinct difference between a daddy kink and the whole kid/dad/cunny debacle, but maybe that’s just me. however i’m allowed to state that i don’t want people who are into the type of daddy kink where they actually act as if the character IS the reader’s father to block me and not interact with me. using the word “daddy” in a sexual setting doesn’t bother me: it is the context in which this is used, with children’s clothing and shoes etc used in headers which indicate this to be a lot darker and more disturbing than just a daddy kink.

however, saying incest is not unethical “just because i don’t like it” is crazy. incest is against the law (at least in the uk, and im pretty sure in america from a quick google search) for a very good reason, because it is indeed unethical. i never brought up incest but i will be clear: I DO NOT LIKE INCEST! nor do i agree that it is ethical in the slightest! i fear saying things like this that aren’t even related to my point and go against literal laws doesn’t make you look like a reliable source of information. if you think incest is ethical i am not interested in holding any sort of conversation with you and i must insist you stay away from me and my blog.

[ssho197]

Modern au xiao brain rot rn can't even anymore.

my pfp and header won’t load in properly and idk why

i wrote this during school and in class so

I would so kin a high school au xiao bc he’s smart asf but still super creative art-wise AND FUCKIGNFNJNKJD ATTRACTIVE ASF SJFLKKJVEK.

Anyways i think i used to have a list of all the senior subjects he would have but i “lost” the list so imma try to recreate it. Im pretty sure his list of subjects was literally almost the same as my subjects :skull: anyways i think it was, advanced english, advanced maths + extension 1 or 2 maths, sor cant remember how many units, visual arts, chemistry, biology or physics. PLS I CANT REMEMBERRRRRRR. HE WOULD SO LISTEN TO ODETARI. ODETARI XIAO SUPREMACY. Anyways he would not know how to talk to anyone for shi. Prolly acts super cool but either gets super flustered or cold if you were to help him with picking up smth, def DOES NOT get bullied bc hes so cool and way too attractive (also scary) for anyone to do anything mean to him. IM FUCKING TELLING YYOU. GIRLS WOULD DROOOLLLL OVER HIS ASS. (i wouod) AHEM AHEM AHEM. this whole paragraph is me on something. The only thing making it barely readable is google’s autocorrect. NOW THEYRE TELLING ME TO CAPITALISE THE G IN GOOGLE AW HELL NAW. IM HERE TRYNA TALK ABT XIAO. he probably tried to fail religion so he didn;t have to do it but then someone told him its mandatory and him failing RE affects his whole grade soo. Teahcers can’t decide whether to hate him or love him cuz he does the work quietly but he's a sassy little B-I-T-C-H. He also probs gets cautions and detentions bc of his shirt being out but prob rarely gets cautions bc he says to the teachers face that he looks better with it out and most teachers don't have the BALLS to tell him off or give him a caution. Probs only the same teachers giving him cautions anyways but theres always gonna be one girl in his class telling the teacher that xiao does look better with his shirt out. Now, would xiao play video games? Ngl probably not since hes like too busy doing his work. OMG HE SHOULD SKATE HE SHOULD SKATE. YES, OK SO. HE SKATES IN HIS FREETIME AND THATS WHY HES SUPER BEHIND ON SOCIAL MEDIA TRENDS. He does have an instagram but his pfp is still just the plain og grey one. He has no posts but he does post on his story sometimes. He follows you and definitely stalks your acc whenever he gets the chance. He looks through your acc THROUGHLY like he def examines everything, where you are, what you're eating, who your friends are and everything. he srsly doesnt have anything better to do with his time. Theres only so much work you can do before you go out to skate, then theres only so many cuts and scratches your body can take before you have to go home, and there are only so many posts on her instagram you can stalk :( I LOVE XIAO!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS MY FAVOURITE AND I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bro def got forced to go to the counsellor once, he hated it and was very aggressive the whole time but its ok bc hes pretty.

OMG IJOWRFBJKKJLNSFVLJSVKSJKJBSFSKFBBFKJ MAGINE LAWYER XIAO

I CANT EVEN ANYMORE RKLOJEFJKVBELSKLNKLSDKL JUST FUCING QDJFW [K J just imagine xiao in a suit and like lawyer xiao. But then i mean like, all lawyers are old and wrinkly and as old asf so idk if i could do that to my bb xiao

[skitskatdacat63]

catie omg. new header and pfp gorgeous.... i need more bmw seb in my life....... and the blue/gold suits you!!

vettonso webweave..... there were so many parallels already before aston but it's like everythings lining up even more now?????? like nano's following exactly in sebs footsteps even though theoretically he came first...... also definitely suzuka 2023. that was the turning point for me for vettonso i think sob sobbbbb

also also !!!! happy new year, sending hugs and lots of loveeeeeee

Thank you thank you I'm very happy with it 🥹

BMW seb makes me feel like a feral animal, he's so perfect and pretty and small, like how are these pics(small selection) real???

I'm surprised he hasn't been my pfp yet considering how often I scour the internet for pics of him. He's my little guy, my little creacher, my baby, etc etc. So now he is in the esteemed position of: pfp. Aaahh also in the one I chose, do you see the tiny little curl of hair on his temple? It's so 🤧

I digress. Vettonso. I'll probably post it at some point, but I have this little timeline thing for them, lining up their careers. And it makes me so insane that they both ended(theoretically) at Aston. Truly the "sending out old horses to pasture" team. I already ranted abt it in your tags hahaha but the fact that Fernando's successes in 2023 are basically the combination of their mutual efforts: Seb developing the 2023 car despite suffering in 2022, and Fernando's insane skills. Something something Fernando reaping the benefits that Seb sowed. Something something passing the torch. "Please accomplish what I wasn't able to, please accomplish what I didn't have the strength or energy for anymore, please benefit off the fruits of my labor, etc." It's so funny though that Nando was like "Seb probably couldn't accomplish what I did in 2023," okay but sir how did you get such a good car hmm 🤨

I'm so glad Japan 2023 dragged you down into depths 😭😭 that is still such an insane moment for me. I think we all became vettonso shippers in that moment. I'm sure I'd be just as insane if it didn't happen, bcs im committed like that, but god it made the brainrot feel so worth it. I shan't wax poetic abt it now tho cause I've definitely done it enough already.

Happy new year!!!!! Thank you for such a nice ask, and basically soliciting a rant from me DJKFKFLF. I was gonna answer this when I woke up because it is certainly an [undisclosed hour] rn. But it's you!!! So I gotta!!! Much love <3

[raindropsonwhiskers]

Hi there! I know that this is really out of the blue but im asking for a favor or some help w/ my cats current medical needs. Please if you have an extra time to boost/share it for us so that we could get some traction or it could reach more people, it would definitely help a ton! I understand if its not okay, Im so sorry for taking some of your time and I wish you to be safe and healthy always, xx.(Please considering answering my ask privately or probably hit me a msg if its fine! 😭🙏

This is far from the first time I've gotten one of these, and I'm feeling spiteful, so I'm going to walk through why this is almost certainly a scam, for anyone who isn't already aware of these.

This is the pinned post on the blog:

It was made at 1:17 AM EST today, Jan 31st. Based on the timing and phrasing of this post, the emergency happened last Tuesday, as the poster seems to be in Montana and thus made the post at 11:17 PM on Monday. The vet hospital (VSS West) and the group Shelter Friends do exist, though Shelter Friends seems to be exclusively a "shelter assistance and networking group whose purpose is to help homeless pets find rescue or adoption" (their website).

They claim their cat is being held until they can pay the bill (pictured at the top of the pinned post, ~1600 USD) in full. This is a red flag, since as far as I'm aware, no respectable institution does this. Additionally, the timeframe on pickup seems uncertain - it goes between "picking him up tomorrow" and "cleared to come home by the next couple of days".

No goal amount is listed, nor is there any sort of tracker. This is extremely strange, since almost every signal boost/mutual aid/etc post I see these days has the OP pretty much constantly updating how much they have left to go. Not being upfront about the amount needed, or how much they already have, is a decent red flag for a scam.

They say they haven't made a GoFundMe because it takes too long and takes a fee. However, VSS West's website says payment is due upon service (see screenshot). Therefor, they must have known about the price for at least 5 days (assuming wiggle room from last Tuesday to the time of the pinned post) and - more importantly - they should have already paid for the surgery.

But let's say they delayed the payment and... used their pet as collateral or something. Here is a screenshot from GoFundMe's website:

So the fee bit is bullshit, too.

Now that we know why the scenario is a whole bunting's worth of red flags, let's tackle the blog itself. The earliest post is from 1:08 AM EST, Jan 31, 2023. AKA today, 9 minutes before making the pinned post.

The URL directly references the cat, Tonka, so surely the blog was created to be about him. It can't be a sideblog - those can't send asks. It could be an alt account, but why make one just for your cat's health emergency and then reblog ATLA posts, posts about the new Mighty Nein animation, and some random aesthetic photos?

And this is just me being pedantic: the name in the header, Nicolai, doesn't match the Nicole used elsewhere. On the bill in the pinned post, the name Susan appears in the client field, just before the blacked out phone number.

But even assuming this person did genuinely decide to make a brand new blog on tumblr and try to crowdfund for their cat, there's a few more red flags around the message itself.

1) This blog has never once interacted with me before. Not shocking since it was made less than 24 hours ago, but still. Not even a follow before sending me a scam? Rude.

2) They ask that I reply privately or via DM. This is very suspicious and VERY convenient for a scammer, because it's harder to provide evidence of the scam when nobody else has seen your correspondence with them.

3) They asked a random niche Doctor Who blog to signal boost them. Of all the demographics, Doctor Who Extended Universe shitposting was the one some desperate person worried for their cat chose? Yeah, right.

All that being said, I hope this post helps people be more aware of these sorts of scams in the future. There are a lot of genuine posts looking for help with their pets, too - but those posts come from real people with established blogs, who aren't sending demanding asks to strangers, aren't trying to hide how much money they need/have already, and aren't trying to take advantage of people. Always do some due diligence before donating to a cause; the worst that can happen is you spend a little time looking through someone's blog and find that they're a real person.

[jovenshires]

jovenshires (prev. bozenshires) updates!

okay gang! im officially back. got some changes goin on.

new url! bozenshires > jovenshires! (you may also remember me as w*shires but we don’t go there anymore.) idk why yall wanted this, apparently we're all sentimental, but as some old fans may know my brand is being ravenously in love w him, and as some new fans may Not know... my brand is being ravenously in love w him. so. ill be blogging ab new smosh stuff but w this old ass url

i think im gonna take down my icon page for now! it glitched super heavily a while back and i could never fix it; plus a lot of the icons are outdated as hell so. i’ve also gotta make major changes to my tags page and my about page, so expect my desktop blog to be touch n go for now. mobile should be in perfect working order!

my queue is back, but it’s gonna be a lot slower than you might previously be used to as i get the hang of things again

just bc im back doesn’t mean i’m sure when/if ill be generating content! though i still watch and love smosh, a lot of my passion for the channel and the fandom content died down after. you know. the Incident. (if you don’t know what i’m referring to, check this tag [tw sexual assault].) so idk if i’ll be making gifsets or fics any time soon. i am leaving my old stuff up - mostly because i think it serves as a pretty good reminder about parasocial relationships for me and for a lot of other people, but also because... there’s so much of it. it’d be so hard to get rid of. if you dont wanna see it but wanna go through my account, block the tag 'wes'. should cover everything.

minor change but besides the ex-members (aka ogsmog), im abandoning the smosh squad/games tags as it’s really not relevant anymore. this is literally so minor but it is happening so i figured i’d add it in DNNDJDND

new icon and header! still shayne but at least it’s not valentines shayne of last year LSNKDNDDKL

finally - and perhaps most importantly - i have recently been posting shit on this blog like it’s my own personal diary. that will not be stopping. prepare to get my unhinged takes forever now!!! (i stand by that spencer x chase post and you were all cowards for not interacting)

and i think that’s it! thanks for sticking w me gang - feels good to be back. sending you all love and if you wanna chat im now (officially) around! ❤️ as always if you wanna find me elsewhere, im also @farklelucas, @sullivanbeaubrown , and @kendelias !!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

BRO THAT KARASU HEADER IS SO GOATED but ngl im giggling at the fact that you thought of doing it for Karasu in the end and im all for it (obviously) WAITTT THE SCREENSHOTS LOWK ARE KARASU CODED good choice LMFAO “would you like a funeral for it” is so funny ok wait this story cooks fr….signing a petition to add this to your todo list (jk LOL or am I (but your list is so long rn so don’t take this seriously LMAO)

FRRRRR ALSO THE SMALL CLIPS FROM TODAYS EP TOO??? Wait I’m sure you know but NAGIS MOMENT WAS FIRE there was also actual movement this ep which makes me so happy because I’m not even that picky with the slideshow type animation but some of the earlier episodes were a bit brutal LOL also that one nagi scene where he’s flabbergasted is SO. FUNNY. I HAD TO PAUSE THE EP TO LAUGH BECAUSE THATS PROBABLY THE MOST EXPRESSICE FACE QEVE EVER SEEN HIM DO IM CRYING

Aikuniko unironically being one of my fav platonic pairings now because the dynamic is actually so fire and so funny like more people need to focus on this not the opps this is way more interesting imo

LMAOOOO REAL we’re the only strikers around here bastard munchen better come scout us

LMAOOO THE MOTIVATION BEING GEGE NOT GETTING IT TOGETHER so real honestly every now and then I think back to jjk and I can’t believe it’s over?? ATP just going to treat pi as canon because the ending really was messy and I barely even know wtf happened

AHAHSHAH the way that even you forget makes me laugh but you’re so real for that but the nagi mischaracterization is indeed quite insane…off the top of my head besides peregrine I can really only think of one other fic that stands out to me and doesn’t feel wildly ooc but it’s also like a medium sized Mira oneshot length not a full long fic either so looks like you still hold the crown LOL

ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS (I’m pretty certain there is a horror movie by that name or at least a thriller but I’m so bad with horror so I wouldn’t know the details LMAO) LMASOAOAOAO close enough you gave Yamada extra exp (I also have only heard of this in passing so twinsies) ok but rin and tullia actually does sound like a VERY interesting dynamic curious about where you think you’d put that pairing

Maybe I didn’t realize it and I’m going through my fall rut too like damn ok tumblr….tbf I actually think it’s a combination between my slow devices that are chronically filled to the brim storage wise because I constantly take videos and pictures….and also my reception being really bad recently although I’m not entirely sure why because that part of tech is def not my specialty but hopefully gonna get through this….

LAMAOAOOAAO ALL GOOD I LOVE LONG CHATS DW our yap sessions give me life

REAL bird symbolism >>>> also YEAH KAISER LMFOAOAAO he’s supposed to look exotic and flashy and well. He fits the bill!!!! His hair makes him look like a molting parrot that’s in like the in between stages of pin feather emergence or something but YESSS written so well especially with the showing not telling thing via writing honestly so impressive and really enjoyable to read it’s like it scratches an itch in my brain because I cannot get past works that are really poorly worded or have a lot of grammar mistakes sorry

OMG if you ever publish a book I’ll be your first reader (imagine it’s a masked Karasu or nagi story LMFAOOOO)

LMAOAAOAO wdym you are an artist look at that distinct style he’s so silly

I DID SEE IT WHIKE I WAS SCROLLING AND SOOOOO TRUE I also love the nagi rin duo so much potential ugh THE PARALLELS why do I feel like we’ve talked about this before but I couldn’t be making it up so er but anyways YES THE PARALLELS LMAOAOA I love parallels sm crazy how people are blind to the actual parallels embedded in the story that make for interesting dynamics but whatever

LMFOAOAOA yeah aikus not getting a glow up quite yet but NAGI WAS MAJESTIC tabieitaken too which makes me so happy!!!

REAL it’s not the liking that’s the issue it’s the hypocrisy lowk same idea applies to people creating ship wars and whatnot but it is what it is I guess I’ll just stay far away

SHSHS HOPE YOURE FEELING BETTER NOW!!! OOOOH breaks coming up!!! Hope you get some more relaxation timeeee also the meetup is so funny LOL sleep is always good that’s honestly me uhhh on my end yeah nothing too eventful besides me struggling with technology apparently but that probably also explains why it takes me several reboots to get my tv working too it’s probably partially slow internet connection urgh other than that also sleeping LMAOO nothing too crazy over here otherwise

Ok also I passed by your meme compilation and PAUSE DO YOU REMEMBER THE AQUARIUM IDEA WE TALKED ABOUT A LOOOOOOONG TIME AGO??? THAT KARASU HIORI ONE WITH THE FISH IS LITERALLY THAT OMFG LMFAPAOAOAOAOAAO

- Karasu anon

the swerving got to me ig SLKDFJHSD even kicking karasu out of the verse entirely wasn’t enough he still crept his way back in…AND as the male lead no less!! okay but do you see the vision like this version of megumi is literally karasu they’re even described the same (black spiky hair [because you will never see me calling karasu’s hair purple sorry not sorry purple hair is like reo to me karasu is just black but with…shading ig…] and blue eyes) it’s SO perfect LMAOAOA omg reader and megumi are so funny with each other they’re like kinda constantly roasting one another while also being insanely in love which again is SOOO karasu it’s crazy 😭 HAHA i will keep you posted currently trying to work on some 1k event stuff because i have to get through my requests and haven’t written in over a month so that’s as good a place to start as any

THEY DID NAGI SOSOSOSOSO WELL AHHHH I WAS SO HAPPY i knew they weren’t going to fumble him they love him SO much now i just need them to put that level of effort into barou and i will literally die with no regrets LMAOOO agreed the animation looked sm better this ep!! i totally didn’t mind it at all and i’m glad that since their budget and time were limited they’re focusing on doing their best with the really important bits (if that makes sense???) also SDLKFHJDS YES SHOCKED NAGI WAS SOOOO FUNNY PLS I WAS DYING he was fr like 😧 he looked so cuteee though but yeah i think that’s probably the most his facial muscles have ever moved in his life…actually wait on a more serious(ish) note i think it’s kind of cute that like as we go further along in bllk he’s becoming more and more expressive??? like him smiling with yukimiya and now this it feels like he really has more friends and is finally becoming more comfortable in himself and showing/having feelings it’s so sweet to see him opening up 🥹 (one thing abt me I WILL be taking the most random things seriously when it comes to nagi like is it truly that deep?? no but i am making it so)

AIKUNIKO FOR LIFE they are THE siblings of all time…actually ngl i was saying to someone that niko is literally the secret third itoshi bro if you think abt it like his eyes are EXACTLY the same (a bit rounder but he’s also younger), he and rin have super similar coloring, and he kinda has a similar personality to sae but a more innocent and sweet version?? like he could literally be revealed to be an itoshi and i’d be like ok sure checks out (also it’d be funny because then there’d be an itoshi on offense defense and midfield) bllk au where everything is the same but niko is randomly revealed to be an itoshi and the only reason he’s normal and not a bot is because aiku raised him he didn’t grow up around their weird soccer drama so he thinks it’s all silly

FACTS we’re literally ng11s atp….i think if i had to hc us on nel teams (this is a crazy statement) i would put you on pxg and i would put myself in barcha NO idea why though (actually wait then you can rizz up karasu and otoya can rizz me up and we can go on #doubledates)

I FORGET JJK IS OVER TOO i saw this slideshow on tik tok that was like “pov you’re seeing the last panel of a manga” and some of them were so emotional and then i saw the jjk one and i was just like ok…??? idk the ending just didn’t feel impactful at all to me something about it felt very incomplete and unfinished and it didn’t at all tie anything together to the point where the final panel left me empty the way a story like jjk SHOULD’VE (i have high hopes for the final panel of bllk although i hope we don’t see it for a while) agreed though SDKJHFS pi is canon everything else is just gege writing fanfiction

HELP rip peregrine truly the forgotten oldest child of the miraverse…i think it’s kinda crazy that besides peregrine and one post of headcanons that was a request i actually have not written nagi at all??? technically pursuit is a nagi fic but he’s at least 20k words away from debuting and the romance is so secondary to the plot that it almost doesn’t count so yeah haven’t written for him in ages which is crazy considering how much i love him…anyways slide that one shot over if you remember the title i don’t usually read much but if it’s coming recommended from you i will

LMAOAOA oopsies accidentally upped him a few levels SKDJFHS yeah it looks like a romance anime i’d watch in a weekend and forget about in a couple of days ngl but its existence served its purpose by awakening me to the rin and tullia potential honestly i feel like my default pick for a tullia pairing ESPECIALLY alongside nagi is isagi because he kinda fits the kind of character i put her with usually?? idk actually originally it was kunigami but then i was like “nah isagi makes more sense” also i didn’t know abt wildcard when i first watched s1 so i thought kunigami was fr cooked so i had to change gears because couldn’t have tullia with a random yk HAHAHA but now that i’m considering it i think rin and tullia would be so much more fun to write?? mostly because i don’t usually write tullia the way she is in pomegranate ink…like typically she’s a very serious, borderline rude in her bluntness/sarcasm, shy (but it comes across as cold), and competent (idk if this makes sense but she like. gets shit done and doesn’t start fights but finishes them LSKDJF) type of character which i think would intersect with rin very oddly as that’s the personality he tries to give off but we all know he’s not really like that HAHA it would be like a fake idgaf warrior x real idgaf warrior chemical reaction 😭 OR alternatively we go with the pomegranate ink tullia characterization which would also be hilarious because rin would just constantly be like wtf is she talking about meanwhile tullia’s dropping her “yk what they say abt assumptions they make an ass out of you and me 🙂‍↕️” wisdom LMAOOOO wait also if she’s more like her pi self then they’d def be that “quiet bf x he asked for no pickles gf” couple somehow like i can VIVIDLY imagine tullia beating rin’s opps up for him she’d even swing on shidou if necessary 🤩

okay wait let me cook what kind of scenario i would pair them up in…i think the male lead would probably be nagi in a fic where they’re the side couple?? because if it’s a long fic lbr the only options for male leads on THIS blog are nagi and karasu but ngl if the male lead is karasu i want tullia with hiori they would have that pi tullia x inumaki vibe and hiori makes more sense as a side character in a karasu story 🧐 let me branch out though and see if i can think of anyone else hmm the obvious option is isagi but erm. isagi has a long ways to go before he can make it as a love interest in the miraverse he should honestly be glad i allowed him to be in a love triangle(ish) with yayoi and barou in pursuit SDJKF uhh who else is even associated with rin…sae?? but a) i’m not writing MORE sae it’s bad enough how many reqs i have for him and b) idk how i would feel abt reader and tullia just dating siblings SLDJFS errr ig bachira is there but i’m incapable of seeing bachira as a love interest fsr…hiori but i also don’t have strong romantic feelings abt hiori like he’s chill but i def couldn’t write a fic abt him yk…why is rin so emo LKSDJFSLD bro has zero friends i gen think nagi is the only feasible option given the miraverse constraints (unless you have any other suggestions ☝🏻) actually that’s kind of annoying though because nagi is lowkey impossible to come up with aus for so now i’m going to have to ruminate on what kind of situation specifically that this could all work in

PRAYING FOR YOU AHHHH fall slump is inevitable fr LKSSDLFJ hmm have you tried going on the tumblr website instead of the app?? that might be a little faster if connection is the issue (no idea if that’s smth you’ve already done/usually do) but yes we will get through this november is almost over and then we will be freed

yeah kaiser is certainly giving…something…LMAOOO PIN FEATHERS SO REAL i think the bird symbolism became a little TOO literal with him which is kind of crazy coming from me (a karasu glazer) but idk karasu pulls it off better!! anyways i’m also just a kaiser hater because all of his fans are nagi haters for some reason (okay not ALL but. a lot.) so there’s automatic beef there like kaiser could literally be the best character ever and be absolutely gorgeous and he’d be my OPP but as it is he’s neither of those things so i will always be criticizing

AHAHAH YAYYY THAT MEANS SM i really try to treat my readers like they’re intelligent individuals?? even in books i think people try to baby their readers and spoon feed too much which just gets annoying and redundant so i just throw in subtle references where if you get it you get it and if you put the connections together that’s great but if you don’t it’s not HORRIBLE you just kinda miss out on some foreshadowing or themes before they’re explained more fully…especially with tumblr it’s nice because then i can post about it and people who did’t see it can then know what i was doing and people who did can be like “yeahhh i noticed that #socool” LMAOOO also sometimes people will come up with their own connections and theories that outclass anything i intended on adding which is always really fun as well but that would never happen if i was overly literal with everything because then there’s no room for interpretation if that makes sense (also agreed poor grammar/wording are indeed turn offs for me that’s another reason why i don’t read fanfic much anymore…not hating because everyone starts somewhere and no one is perfect but yeah i am very picky with what i read and that’s why 99% of the time i end up writing instead)

LMAOOO PLEASE can you imagine you’re reading a book and you’re like “wow this seichiro kagi guy who’s 6’3, lazy, white haired, and super talented sounds really familiar…” that’s how you know it’s by me fr actually honestly given how increasingly insane my ideas have been becoming as of late i could probably write an entire fic and then just use ctrl + f to have a completely new story

NAGI THE SILLIEST I LOVE HIM and so real they should hire me to draw episode karasu my portfolio is scattered throughout our asks i’ll do the story justice fr 🙏🏻

ngl it’s entirely possible that we have in fact talked about it before but i’m thinking about them sm rn…ugh…NAGIRIN IS LOVE NAGIRIN IS LIFE actually i think one of the reasons why people don’t talk about it is that people crash OUT if you ship nagi with anyone but reo (not that i’m shipping but yk) like i saw a nagisagi edit on tik tok (it was to the alchemy by taylor swift actually ngl it was cute hold on here’s the link) so i was like huh i wonder if people are posting abt this on tumblr come to find out people genuinely have like “nagisagi shippers dni” LMAO??? like why is it that serious 😳 you know i’m not really into shipping but look nagi and isagi have that yaoi eye reflection thing going on that everyone talks abt with nagire so i can see why people would ship them 😭😭😭 also they are like. such a normal ship?? like they’re the same age and they’re friends and nagi thinks abt isagi somewhat frequently and vice versa so i was genuinely surprised at how many people hate it KFDJDJSJ anyways long story short i will continue to spread my nagirin duo truth and if the haters come for me…we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it 🔥 although ngl since i never talk abt things in a romantic context i SHOULD be safe. we can hope.

also wait speaking of that edit this comment on it cracks me up every time i look back and see it LMAOO mostly because it’s actually very true but i didn’t think abt it until i saw the comment…like yeah isagi actually IS always going on abt how he and nagi can make a million different chemical reactions like in the 3v3 against kunigami chigiri and reo he literally hallucinated nagi surrounded by rainbow sparkles (when he’s like “the future with barou is dead but the future with nagi is bursting with life” or wtvr poetic pseudoscience bs he was on abt at the time) HAHAHAHA like i said i’m not a shipper nor an isagi fan actually but listen the vision is hilarious to me and idk why it’s not more popular

aiku looks good when we don’t get closeups of his facial hair and teeth LMAOO he looked cute w sendou though ig 😭 AGREED NAGIIII and all of tabieitaken but otoya especially really ate this ep!! and the barou crumbs AHHH I’M SO HYPE FOR HIS GOAL ACTUALLY I KNOW IT’S GOING TO GO OFF

EXACTLY AHAHAHJS no this is why i only discuss “ships” (more so duos for me) and character opinions and whatnot w you and jeirin because a solid majority of people in the bllk fandom are like. a diff breed /neg

YES i am finally healed thankfully been having a restful week for the most part!! just chilling w my dogs like usual…excited to see my high school friends during break as well as for the semester to finally be over soon 🤩 just need to get through finals in the middle of december and then i’m freeeeee (to write bllk fic mostly lbr)

LMAOAOAO YES ACTUALLY I THINK I SENT YOU THAT EXACT MEME BACK THEN TOO AND WAS LIKE “this is literally karasu and fwtkac reader” KDJDSJ for the sake of the larger population i made it hiori but just know that in my mind that’s what i was originally envisioning…similarly the one proposal meme that i had w kunigiri/nagireo was originally meant to be for peregrine with the “she said yes!” being y/n and kira instead of kunigami and chigiri HAHAHA

[woozi]

my yzaaa!! hi!!

i'm so sorry it's been. seven whole months. i saw the news about dino solo and remembered in a rush that i hadn't responded to the last ask and - well. it's been months. apologies for being such a neglectful wife. i hope you've been well <3 are you excited for dolo (dino solo)!!!!

by the way. your new header is GORGE. the neon greens and the blacks... i love it omg. another slay from my darling beloved yza, you never miss.

dsfklhdsf last ask i said it would be studying nonstop til july and then. i failed to get into uni. so now i am retaking all those exams alas.

so last time we talked about the bss comeback! but now seventeen have had a comeback too! how did you find it omg? please do tell me your ranking, i am so curious. for me it's diamond days = back2back > monster > god of music = headliner > yawn > sos (which. idk i have some thoughts). what about you though!! which songs are your fav!! which songs surprised you!! which songs do you not like as much as you thought you might! i am dying to know!

speaking of the comeback. did you see that minghao is grey. he's slaying it so much that i want to die my hair grey now (as if i'm not already greying prematurely from my job lol) but idkkkk i am no the8 i don't know if i could slay it as well as he does. regardless. this is his ERA he is slaying so hard!

speaking of. i don't know if you know this but jun is pretty much no. 1 on my svt bias line. actually you probably know that, looking back on how we met haha. but i just want to say that i think he is SHINING this era like!!! idk i've been watching all the performances and he is making So Many expressions. i know i am talking about a 27yo man but he is so cute he is my little meow meow and i LOVE all his funky expressions. also idk i know carats like to meme it but i do love that he manages to be so unblinking sometimes like. king of eye contact tbh! god of eye contact, even! love that for him.

your life is going back to your pre-pandemic routine! is that still true (it has been seven months)? it's crazy how much the pandemic wrenched everyone's lives into such different things, honestly. how has it been, returning to your pre-pandemic routines? i hope you've been well?

sending you so much love and i hope you always have happy days! it is so nice to see you on my dash again btw! mwah <333 💗💗💗

your beloved wife,

honey <3

MY HONEY OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OUGHHH AM I OVERJOYED TO SEE U!!!!!!!

FIRST OFF I MISSED U SAUR SAUR MUCH??????????? ALSO U DONT EVEN HAVE TO WORRY ABT REPLYING LATE 😤😤😤😤 in my heart we r like penpals and i'll always be here anyway 😋

the way dolo (dino solo) brought u back to me IM CRYINGGGGGGGGG he really is the gift that keeps on giving!! AND THANK YEWWWWWWWWW, i try i'm v honored 🥺

hoping ur exam results turn out better for u this time!! i hope you're not pressuring yourself into it too much though, i'm sure things will work out for you <3 i'm here whenever u need an ear!!

DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKING FOR A FRESHTEEN CBBBBBBBBBBBBBB?!!??! i know they heard our Cries for cock songs back then, but i'm glad they've come around their roots soundwise for this album, it's a nice breather!! also a refresher (shoutout to ms diamond days) to why i liked em sm </333

URE SO VALID ABT SOS FDJKDFJKFDKJ my ranking atm is GoM > back 2 back = monster = yawn > diamond days > headliner > sos (sorry the lyrics make me …. 🤨🤨🤨 jkdsfjsdkjkdskjds 😭😭😭 but it’s understandable eng is not their first language!!)

for the first few weeks i have listened the most to back 2 back tbh, i didnt expect to like her as much as i now do!! monster, on the other hand, was the song i was looking forward most to hearing (VERNON PRODS WILL ALWAYS BE 🔛🔝 FOR ME) and i like her dont get me wrong!!! but i was expecting to like her the most out of all the songs in the album. she's still really good though <3 HOW ABT U 👁👁 V CURIOUS ABT UR THOUGHTS ESP ABT SOS FJDKDFFDJK

NOT THE PREMATURE GRAYING 😭 ALSO IK?????????????? sumn really going on with him when he has The Mullet ngl

i still cb we went from u being an eyebag anon to my now wife all bc of silly mr jun <33 thank god for him and the svteenies LMAOO AND I AGREE SOOOOOOOO MUCH <33 it's really so good to see how he's gotten so confident at performing that he's able to add these cute little touches to every perf </3 WE NEED MORE JUN APPRECIATION ON THIS SITE AND IM SAUR SAUR GLAD U See Him

also true!! but now i have graduated so things are also very different 👁👄👁 but change really is good!! i just cb i miss school this much fjkdjdf i've actually been thinking abt post grad (med school specifically) so.... there Might be new changes w me again!! life's been a little crazy on my side that's why i was on hiatus since feb until just before the recent cb season, but it's honestly made me realize a lot of things that (hopefully) have helped me grow as a person!! HOW ABOUT UUU <33 WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO!! we really have a lot of catching up to do 😋

sending you an even bigger hug and giving u much strength!! i hope the days r increasingly kinder to u, and that u find little joys in every step of the way!! i'm really so happy to hear from u again 🥺 LOV U MWAH <3333333

[dear-ao3]

welcome back once again. i feel like im just screaming into the void at this point guys. is anyone still out there? is anyone still reading? i don't know but we’re back. i know we were just back but were back again cause we’re in triple header hell! but we are in mexico, so at least we get the cool f1 song!  today is november 3, 2024 and here we goooooooooo

and im going to let you all in on a little secret here. i have pretty much no idea what happened this weekend. like i know things happened. i have notes written down. but this is going to be a surprise for the both of us. in my defense, i had an anatomy test and a work trip. so apologies if this one is a little rough around the edges.

charles leclerc became a fighter pilot. or at least he did on instagram, as a brand deal/partner thing. sorry that's not descriptive. let me try again. 

he got to go on a rafale fighter jet to take part in a french air force training mission and its going to be in the documentary called supersonique.

he also ate what seems to be mcdonalds after

franco colapinto was in a forbes magazine. he was talking about being a driver from south america just ahead of the central/south american leg of the f1 season:

"I know that the Argentines are enjoying having a driver back in Formula 1 as much as I am; seeing when I do well and being just as happy as I am when we get good results… that is something that we all enjoy. I feel that we are a team with all the Argentines, who pushed me a lot to get to where we are; and what we achieved is also part of them. I love that they are happy with everything that is happening this year. I am very happy to see them enjoying what I am doing. Obviously, continuing down this path, seeing that I have so much support from Argentina, is something unique"

oscar was also in a forbes magazine. they somehow managed to make him look like a giraffe.

and it was lewis hamilton’s dog’s roscoe’s birthday he is 12. lewis lightly demanded that everyone wish him a happy birthday and you cant possibly say no to sir lewis hamilton. 

valtteri bottas is also selling a piece of his mullet??? i swear im not making this up.

and im not sure if this was during this exact week but one of the williams mechanics? engineers? said that they only just recently got franco to stop taking the bus (like a real. commuter bus) from the hotel he stays at to the williams factory in england. franco thinks that its stupid to waste a car to drive him to the factory when he can sit on the bus and get a nice view. but you know, safety and all that. 

one person was not gracing us with his presence this media day was fernando alonso. he was not feeling well and did not go to media day. he did show up later in the weekend, which was good cause it was his 400th gp this weekend. no one else has ever gotten to this many before. he had a cool helmet and everything. 

and you know, everyone was well and truly impressed because holy shit. 400 races.

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 everyone had only good things to say about him in his 400th race (thats a link to another video that it wont let me insert)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

yuki and liam built a giant jenga tower (with the help of standing on a chair)

charles made a second, more unhinged, instagram post, showing off his helmet for the mexican gp. ill just let you watch it. 

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then he showed up in his suit, slaying, and trying to speak spanish. 

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oscar and lando did a fan stage with franco and alex. oscar told franco that he wants to learn spanish just to understand his interviews because apparently they are really funny. 

max reacted to the grid recreating the inchident video. actually hold on this may in fact be from last week. you know what i don't care. its a good video. its going in.

george was also asked about the penalties from the texas week, namely his that he got for his incident with valtteri. he was very GPDA president about it. he said: 

“when you watch an incident in slow motion, or you pause it at any given point - my penalty with valtteri, the rule states if you're not ahead of the apex and you push someone wide, you get a penalty. so by the letter of the law, my penalty was correct. but anybody who knows racing, and anybody watching it, knows it was not correct. i don't really know how we move forward. i think we’d probably all want to see the probably the same stewards all year long, so that the drivers and the stewards can all be on the same page, and that we can apply common sense when needed, rather than having to really follow the letter of the law.” 

he also said that he could not speak about the other penalties that were given out because he had not thoroughly reviewed them yet. but aparently the driver guidelines are going to get gone over in qatar.

and now, for everyone’s favorite part. the silly season update.

this week it came in the form of a quote from valtteri bottas, saying that should he wind up with no seat at the end of the season, he would consider going back to mercedes as a reserve driver for next year.  

why is this interesting??? WELL

mercedes currently has two reserve drivers as we know. one is frederik vesti. who i never really talk about, mostly because mercedes pretty much just kinda locks him in the simulator and that's about it. but hes charming in the sense that he reminds me of this kid who was in one of my algebra classes in high school who asked our teacher if he ate a gummy worm off the floor if he could get extra credit. the teacher said no. the kid still ate the gummy worm for fun. 

anyway.

the other reserve driver we have talked about quite a bit and it is mick schumacher. 

mick has been reserve driving for merc for two years now, following his untimely exit from haas at the end of 2022. and by untimely i mean he was apparently told during the last race weekend in a hotel lobby that he wasn't signed for the next year. anyway. mick is one of the reserve drivers, yes, but he is also racing for alpine in the WEC (world endurance championship) series this year. his WEC contract was for one year and as of now, when i am typing this, he has not re signed any contracts with WEC. despite the fact that everyone on the team has pretty much said that they would give both their right arm and their first child for him to re sign with them. but, mick is waiting for any news of a formula 1 seat before he signs another WEC contract. 

aside from that though. mick did say that if he cant get a seat back on the grid then he wants to stay with mercedes as a reserve driver. so then why. is bottas saying. that he wants to go to mercedes as a reserve driver. 

i have no idea. but this is formula 1. so it could either mean everything or it could mean nothing. 

and the silly season rumors also continued to swirl around one franco colapinto. who, if you will remember, has no contract for next year. james vowels had this to say about franco: “even if hes taking points away from us [next year] he should be racing in f1.” which is to say that williams would release franco from his contract with them (cause he was in their drivers academy) so that he could sign with another team. and currently only two teams have seats open: vcarb (though they might be locked down with liam lawson) and audi/stake (who everyone seems to be in contention for).

speaking of rumors. helmut marko was back running his mouth (if you're surprised about this, clearly you haven't been paying enough attention to this post) this time about oscar coming to red bull should max leave or retire (like he is presently threatening to do every now and then due to a potentially expanding race calendar and also tighter regulations). and oscar shut that right down in a very oscar way: 

“definitely not [going to red bull]. i’m very happy where i am. im under contract for the next two years after this and im certainly not looking to go elsewhere. it wouldnt be a week in f1 without some comments from helmut.”

he was then asked if he was surprised that helmut would say that oscar is going to sign with red bull and oscar said 

“not massively. its a nice compliment i would say. but again i am very happy with where i am. they [red bull] have quote a bit pool of drivers they can choose from if they want.”

and zak brown conferred this:

"We're obviously very happy with our two guys and got them signed up for quite some time." though. as we know. contracts don't really mean too much in f1. so whos to say.

but helmut marko wasn’t done talking about the mclaren drivers. he still had shit to talk about lando: 

“we know norris has some mental weaknesses. ive read some of the rituals he needs to do to perform well on race day.” 

this was in relation to lando fighting for the championship with max, and why helmut thought that max was superior, despite having the inferior car. 

andrea stella, the mclaren team principal, responded to this, saying that

“max was addressed for swearing. for me, this is much more severe.”

and zak brown said

“i read marko’s comments. poking at that situation i think is pretty inappropriate and kind of sets us back 10-20 years.”  

and of course, helmut responded to them.

“i never talked about mental health. i just said that max is mentally stronger. they are deliberately causing unrest.”

and that may be so. it may not be so. it all depends on how you spin it. 

you know what doesnt depend on how you spin it? 

alex albon bonking oscar on the head with a boom mic

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and also whatever the hell george is doing here 

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now. this is potentially i think the third time that george has had to defend himself saying that he is Not dating another driver (im not sure, my resident George expert is asleep). hes done it before with alex albon (entirely unprompted i might add. in a twitch stream. when people were asking if alex was going to go live. and george said “we might be best mates but he is Not my boyfriend.” which was something no one was accusing him of) and i don't remember what the other time was. but i know that this has happened before. and george. if you’re defending yourself against allegations that no one is making well. that kinda says something. 

but lets get on to practice, i say, as it is now 12:30am on brazil race day. really. how do i get myself into these situations. 

idk

but alas we had practice. i don't really know what happened, i didn't watch any of it. but! pato o’ward with mclaren was in fp1, along with ollie bearman at ferrari, felipe drugovich at aston, kimi antonelli at mercedes and robert shwartzman at stake. 

it was a proper big deal for pato to be in for fp1 because hes mexican and everyone there was really really excited for him to be in. he currently races in indycar and hes a pretty big deal. hes also the mclaren reserve driver. and he put on face paint. really, he is quite funny and i would recommend at least glancing at his social media, its off the walls.

alex crashed into ollie and went spin.

robert saw it happen and his radio was just a tad unhinged:

robert then also got a five place grid penalty for overtaking under a double yellow flag. which is really interesting because that penalty can only be served in a formula 1 race and guess what, robert is not a formula 1 driver. but at least he can now join the club with jenson button for Drivers Who Have Grid Penalties That They Cannot Serve.

then in practice 2 we had a rather large crash from george. by rather large i mean 35g. straight into the barriers. and the way that he hit the barriers, he almost went directly into the concrete.

which is why when he got out of the car and whisked off to the medical center, he was clearly limping and also couldn't breathe. 

(if you're new to the world of formula 1, yes this is less than ideal, but he did come on radio saying that he was fine, which is always good and did get out of the car himself, which is also always good. sometimes they just get the wind knocked out of them during the big high impact crashes. lando had a worse one in vegas last year)

still. there was a red flag as they extracted george’s car from the barriers. and we didn't hear anything from mercedes about whether or not george was okay (usually this is something that comes through pretty quickly when a driver has to go to the medical center post crash because sometimes they get sent to the hospital for precautionary checks)

but we did hear from the admin on the LN4 twitter account (?) (one of lando’s official accounts) and they posted something to the extent of “is it in bad taste to say we’re so back” right after george’s crash. it was quickly deleted. 

eventually, we found out that george was in fact okay, back in the hospitality, and probably complaining about how his car didn't really work too well. 

forward into qualifying we go. 

one of the ferrari mechanics decided to do some acrobatics

and lando took one of his famed mid quali naps. 

and it had been 4,480 days since fernando alonso’s last pole position in germany 2012.

oh you wanted to actually know about what they did? in the cars? my most sincere apologies. without any further ados: 

well there was not a lot of grip. because this is a high altitude track. the highest altitude of the whole season. 

it was also checo’s home race. somehow i forgot to mention that. but he is in fact mexican and he is also a HUGE deal in mexico. last year he did not have a good race weekend here, he got shoved off the track at the start by charles leclerc (i think it was a no fault thing but i do not remember, neither of them had anywhere to go) and ended up dnfing on turn 1 lap 1. which was not great. and he definitely did not want a repeat of that this year. 

unfortunately he was off to a bad start. in his first qualifying lap he managed only a 1:18.5 and martin brundle said “what did he do there? oh dear. not particularly fast”

he said that he had braking problems and was stuck down in p19.

meanwhile george russell. 

they had had to rebuild the car for him after his crash in practice the day before and he had all kinds of old spec parts going on his car. no one was really sure when it was exactly from. some said miami. some said silverstone. in any case, it was not up to date. 

oscar piastri was also having a time of it. he only managed to go 13th fastest and then it got deleted for track limits so he got shoved back down to 19th. he had time to go out again though and he did. he needed at least a 1:17.2. he did a 1:17.5. “this is not a cracking lap” said martin brundle. 

checo meanwhile got knocked down into the bottom five by charles leclerc. which was slightly cruel after last year.  “ah shit,” he said over the radio. “Indeed,” martin agreed. and oscar got knocked down to the bottom five by franco. 

“similar position from lando last year, so ill make sure to do my homework to see how he moved through the field” oscar said later. i think last year lando started p17 and finished p5. it was slightly insane.

haas meanwhile, the 300 person team, had both cars through. this year they were really, really making the upgrades work for them. and also bottas was through. hes never not made it to q3 in mexico. 

q2 was mostly uninteresting except for when yuki tsunoda went crash. he was okay, but it ended the session slightly early. so himself, liam lawson, fernando alonso, lance stroll and valtteri bottas were all out. 

meanwhile. alex albon had almost all but matched the pace of the mercedes. which was really interesting because need i remind you that alex albon drives a williams. and williams is definitely mid field, despite being mercedes powered.

in q3 max made it to provisional pole. but then carlos took it from him. and carlos kept it. he was on pole! 

“what a lap,” carlos said

“two laps,” his engineer said. 

he also had a great secret third lap where he smacked lando in the nuts

and so lining up for thee start of the race we had 

carlos, max, lando, george, lewis, kevin, pierre. alex, nico, yuki, liam, fernando, lance, valtteri, franco, oscar, checo, esteban, guanyu

and once the race started, yuki was very nearly immediately in the wall. he retired. as well as alex albon who was also involved in the incident.

max had picked up the lead from carlos somewhere and carlos ended up going off track and passing max, but when he rejoined he gave the position back. 

so heading into lap 2, max was leading, then checo, lando, charles, lewis, george, jevin, nico, gasly, liam, lance, fernando, perez, colapinto, valtteri, zhou, ocon and albon

which meant that checo had somehow gained five places.

the fia thought that this was slightly too good to be true. turns out that he was being investigated for a false start.

checo did not agree with this. “no, no it was a great start,” he said over radio. “have a look because i don't think we were.” apparently he was though, and he got a five second penalty for it. 

meanwhile, carlos passed max in a move that surprised everyone, even carlos himself. 

“mate,” max said over radio. “what a can i do with a fuck empty battery? what is this stupid mode.” the team did not really look into it, but it became clear that carlos saw the car recharging its battery and still sent it and somehow it all worked out for him. max had had no battery from previously fending off carlos.

next up it was lando’s turn to get through. he passed, then max kind of ran him off the track. lando did not give the spot back.  a few corners later max ran both him and lando off the track and charles took that as an opportunity to zoom right past them. i cant insert the video because f1 is blocked on tumblr, but you can watch the moment if you click here

“i was ahead at the corner! same as the last time, he keeps forcing me off i was just trying to avoid a collision! hes dangerous.” lando said over the radio. 

this time it did seem to be actually dangerous. 

“he overtook off track and pushed me,” lando repeated again. 

both incidents were reported up to race control. but lando still got two track limits strikes, which would count against him if he went off again. 

almost immediately, max got a 10 second penalty for forcing another driver off the track. “im sorry mate but that was outrageous,” martin brundle said. 

max was told about the penalty. he was unbothered. “yeah, quite impressive.”

meanwhile charles got the fastest lap. and george, on his old spec car, potentially from miami, managed to pass lewis hamilton for fifth. 

and then fernano alonso had to retire, on his 400th race for i think it was an exhaust issue. or a brake issue. a something issue. which was unfortunate. 

also unfortunate was max getting Another 10 second penalty. for the second time that he managed to force lando off. 

george’s engineer told him that max managed to get 20 seconds worth of penalties. “wow” george said, speaking everyone’s thoughts.

meanwhile, liam lawson and checo had an incident.

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and then he and lance stroll nearly smacked into eachother as well. checo ended up going into the pits after it (and i think served his 5s penalty) but then came out fine. despite a slight hole in his side pod. the incident did end up going to the stewards, but no penalties were given.

what was hilarious about this though is that it was the second week in a row where liam lawson was picking beef with one of the “old men” drivers on the track. first fernando alonso and then checo perez. and liam did flip perez off (at least i think it was) here.

liam did later apologize for this, saying that "he [checo] spent half the lap blocking me and trying to ruin my race, so i was upset."

after the race, checo said that it was a "i dont think it was a very clever move" and liam said "im not just going to get out of his way"

liam also said, much later on, potentially actually in brazil "im not here to make friends, im here to win"

cause remember that liam is trying to get checo's seat.

still, this was incredibly bad luck for checo at his home race, especially after wanting to get redemption for last year.

max also ended up pitting on lap 27 and served his 20 second penalty. 

by lap 30 this was what we were working with:

p1 carlos p2 charles p3 lando p4 george p5 kevin  p6 nico p7 liam p8 oscar p9 franco p10 lewis p11 valtteri p12 esteban  p13 max p14 guanyu p15 pierre p16 checo p17 lance

this was excited because we almost had a HAM, BOT, VER in the timings, which was very typical of a few years ago when bottas was still at mercedes and max was constantly chasing them down. a few laps later, we did indeed get HAM, BOT, VER

carlos, who was still leading, was told to box a few minutes later “one more lap, one more lap,” he pleaded with his engineers, trying to become his own engineer again as he sometimes does when he is leading a race (a la singapore)

george had also pitted, but he was displeased with it. “why have we done this? surely we could have done 1 or 2 laps more,” he said, wishing that he had put his foot down a la carlos. 

conversely, oscar piastri was practically begging to pit. “mate think about pulling me out of this shit,” oscar said, stuck in a drs train as he had been for the last many several laps, unable to overtake and just kind of stuck between haas, rb and williams. 

oscar was at this point, sitting in 6th, in front of liam lawson. max was in 8th at this point, but quite a bit behind oscar. and the thought was that they, mclaren, were going to leave oscar as a sacrifice to fight with max to protect lando, who was trying to take as many points off of max as possible. 

carlos was still chilling in first, 7.7 seconds ahead of charles.

and george had an asymmetrical front wing. not quite broken but also kind of broken. but still usable. so he kept using it. 

max verstappen passed liam. he was now right behind oscar. and oscar had yet to pit. 

franco had something wrong with his steering. “something is wrong with the steering mate. something strange. it goes soft stiff soft.” and yet, no one made a that's what she said joke about that. 

oscar was finally pulled out of hell and into the pit lane. he came out 13th and very very behind max.

“is it me,” crofty said. “or is it suddenly getting cloudy.” 

because that was just what this race needed. rain. 

“its getting really dark!” max said.

rain was not expected to hit the track, but it was getting close. 

“ive got very small rain drops on the visor,” george said.

“check for sweat george, check for sweat,” crofty said, calling back to that race i don't remember which one where george reported rain but it was really just sweat falling into his eyes. 

oscar was meanwhile fighting back through the grid, he was up to 10th. 

lando was now putting in the fastest laps, trying to catch charles. he was 20 seconds ahead of george at this point so he was in no danger from behind, but he definitely wanted to try to catch charles. 

carlos and charles, because of this, had been told to speed up. 

carlos did not agree with this “my opinion is that we are pushing too hard, absolutely no need for the team.” he was saying this because he was about to start lapping cars and thus be in traffic, but lando was too close for ferrari (4 seconds behind charles) to back off. and so they went. 

franco took the fastest lap now. 

and lewis was still trying to pass george (who, i remind you, is driving a car potentially from miami in terms of upgrades and has a broken front wing) by still i mean that this had been going on for a solid 5 laps at this point. 

lando was only 1.5 seconds behind charles at this point. 

“i need your best driving now, lets go” charles’s engineer said. ferrari were also having brake cooling problems at this point. and lando put in the fastest lap.

on lap 63 he was half a second behind charles

and then charles went off the track! nearly slammed head first into the barriers but managed to just barely catch it! but it was enough to send lando through to p2! 

charles meanwhile was telling his team to “think about the fastest lap” 

and george was still ahead of lewis. lewis had been half a second behind him for a long while. and the two mercs were in no mans land in a race with eachother. and lewis finally passed on lap 66. it took him 12 laps. and lewis has the most upgraded version of the car lets remember. 

later on george claimed that there was nothing “better” about his car and its version than lewis’s so either, lewis’s car is fucked (as he has been saying this whole year) or! the miami upgrades and a broken front wing were actually better. ill let you decide on that one. 

franco and liam meanwhile had an incident. franco’s front wing got smashed and liam claimed that he had nowhere to go. 

checo was told “might be debris in turn 12” from the liam and franco incident. “i guess its the same idiot that crashed again?” checo asked. 

“you can watch the highlights later,” his engineer said. 

checo giggled and said “im watching them now.” so at least he got a little satisfaction from that.

but liam lawson pitted after his scuffle and went fastest. 

then charles pitted and went fastest. 

and then checo pitted and tried to go for a fastest lap attempt and then failed. probably because he still had a slight hole in his side pod. 

so charles ended with the fastest lap. and who won? 

CARLOS SAINZ

he was followed by lando, charles, lewis, george, max, kevin, oscar, nico, pierre, lance, franco, esteban, valtteri, guanyu, liam and checo.

he got his “one last win” in ferrari (but didn't sing smooth operator over the radio. sad.) and also! ferrari are now ahead of red bull in the constructors championship! 

the standings are 

mclaren: 566

ferrari: 537

red bull: 512

and according to one laura winter “ferrari are on a charge”

but lets hear from the drivers first

charles said that “it was a difficult one….race was the best we could achieve on my side today.” 

lando said that he “tired to avoid any crashes, carlos did well!....i didn't want to expect such a thing [max’s driving] because i respect max as a driver but i was expecting it and i avoided it” he later elaborated on this, saying that

“i don't want to complain about it, you know. cause you know, this is what i love.  i love going into races and knowing like ‘we’re gonna have a good battle today and hes [max] going to put up a good fight’ and all of those things. and i look forward to it. but things like today are just a bit too far in my opinion and obviously in the stewards opinions too and i would say pretty in the majority of people’s opinions. and that's just not how i think many people like to go racing. but i respect max a lot. i want to race hard against him but if i didn't do what i did today and avoid him, id probably be out of the race you know, so…its tough but i played my cards well i knew what to expect in many ways and yeah. points are good for me at the minute. and we just keep our heads down.” 

max had a totally different view

“well i mean at the end of the day, if you agree with it or not, it doesnt matter because the penalties are given. so honestly that's also not my biggest problem of the race. my biggest problem was just that we had no pace. yeah, just struggling a lot on the tires. yeah, couldn't really attack and i couldn't follow ferrari and mclaren.”

he was then asked if he would do something different next time. and he had an interesting answer again:

“uh. maybe get a drink in the pit stop.”

so as usual max remains unbothered. you cannot pay him to be bothered because its not in his nature. he just wants to go racing. 

one person though was happy with his result and that was carlos sainz. 

“i just really wanted this one, i wanted it for myself….with four races left i just want to have fun.” 

he was also asked about his overtake on max and he said that

“i needed to surprise him one way or another, i was a bit far back but i had nothing to lose so i sent one down the inside.” 

(as a side note they kept calling carlos the “king of mexico” which just. feels wrong? given you know? colonialism and columbus and the conquistadors and all that that pillaged the crap out of mexico and south america? but maybe that's just the history major in me talking)

but it was also good news for ferrari itself because of how much they have gained over recent races and carlos had this to say about that

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by absolute contrast. charles called max “my max” in the press conference

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and then accidentally swore 

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and immediately got approached by an fia official after

jury is still out on his punishment, he may need to do community service with max. 

aside from. all of that. haas! had a great run of points, p7 and p9, and are now in front of alpine in the constructors championship. kevin said that the upgrades that they have brought recently “have just worked….sometimes we surprise ourselves.” which i think really well and truly sums up the entirely of haas. 

he also said that he is at peace with this potentially being the end of his career, though he has been in this position now twice before and has come back. so. jurys still out on kevin magnussen. 

and we also heard from franco colapinto. who said that the fans here really motivated him. “in football we are fighting with eachother and that doesnt happen here” he said. but he also said that he didn't have anything else left in the car today. 

he was asked about his plans for next year and he said himself that he does Not have a seat for 2025 and there have not been talks. he wants to come back in 26 or 27. but, remember, this is the kid who likes to fuck with everyone. so whos to say. also his team apparently have been talking to people and there is a Chance that he could be in for the RB seat for next year. we will see what happens. 

“everybody is tired,” james hinchcliffe said “but everybody is having fun.” 

and especially having fun were mclaren and ferrari, specifically zak brown and carlos sainz, who photo bombed eachother.

oscar called lando landito during one of the post mclaren videos

and then lando and carlos celebrated their podium together

they actually went out together with a bunch of people at what seems to be a big fancy dinner thing. and carlos was sitting. next to lando. but across from his own girlfriend. which is kind of hilarious.

and then they went out and carlos sang smooth operator. because what else did you expect him to sing. he’s carlos sainz. 

we have one more race in this triple header, and that is brazil. and since i am coming to you from the future, i can tell you all that you’re going to want to tune in for this one. its off the walls in more ways than one. and i promise it will be a much better update than this one. see you all soon :)

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[throwaway-yandere]

Spoilers!!!

my random rambling about to explain why ["No" (Yandere!Albedo/Reader)] is a mess lmao (and no i didn't proofread this, enjoy reading my unaltered agony):

Edit: actually nevermind i edited just one word cause I couldn't take the misspelling lol. There rest of these texts are still unedited except for that one specific word ( which is troupe to trope lol )

Writing albedo's pretty much a challenge because i pegged that he's the type of yandere that you wouldn't figure out he's one unless he confesses everything. He's popular, but a recluse. He's eccentric, but he can be trusted. Those are some characteristics that can make create such a disastrous slowburn yandere. And he likely confess after a long time just to have a record of your reaction (with a scholarly purpose in mind.)

Idk if I managed to make him subtle at all ;;-;; My goal was to make the reader think albedo is a green flag for most of it all while dropping hints that he aint idk if that worked out but oh well no beta we die like __ right?

It's not my proudest work that's for sure, but it's an interesting ride writing it so I thought I'd share lol (꒪ヮ꒪)

The fic was supposed to be inspired by Love Hypothesis. A friend made me read it in a sleepover and I jokingly suggested doing a yandere albedo version and I guess I'm a man of my word(?). I unfortunately had to change a lot since I can't see Albedo having a very intense strict "I don't want to produce mediocre scientists" mindset, and the reader is gn! here so they shouldn't have women-specific STEM struggles. Albedo's loved by a lot of people and he's rather lax when teaching Timaeus so I really can't picture him playing the "grump" character troupe. I have a habit of constantly checking character voice lines in the wiki to get a gist of who I'm writing and I just can't see him as an Adam Carlsen. Send help. (´；ω；｀)

And also a big "unlike LoveHypo" here is that this is a yandere story. It's bond to be toxic. It doesn't read like the source material anymore since it's not a grumpy/sunshine troupe, it's a reluctant stalker/suspicious individual dynamic, if that's a thing. Ironically, I think this is a first fic of mine where the reader lowkey wins in the end? Lmao. What. ರ_ರ

Also: I REVISED THIS FIC SO MANY TIMES YOU HAVE NO IDEA 😭😭😭 For unrelated reasons I got sick with quite the high fever in the middle writing the latter half as well LOL (≧▽≦). The fic was supposed to be more faithful to Love Hypothesis but of course that's scrapped due to reasons mentioned above but then I added that small ex-itto tidbit for fun and temporarily made the reader into a pure chaotic, reckless (and lowkey asshole) person so it'll be believable that the two were exes. Also SCRAPPED that partially because when I tried writing their dialogues with Albedo they're both going nowhere fast and it's turning into a real clownship ;;;;-;;;; wtf. Nearly had the reader call Albedo a dweeb in a dialogue.

Got writer's block with this story and tried writing something else and at that point I was writing 3 fics at once for no valid reason (and now an itto-focused side story for "careful, he bites" is nearly done lololol, I finished a short alhaitham fic before this as well, will prolly upload it tomorrow. The sagau au take I have might take a while). I'm very sorry for my absence! Life is absolutely hectic rn sigh

Also, here's the story header/banner i scrapped as well lololol:

Ain't this a mess lol.

ya know what makes this more hilarous?

i enrolled in an educ course in a state uni before i finished this fic lmfao--

so yeah, "why did they not fake date like in love hypo--" cause im a coward and it felt weird for me to write something about that considering my future possible profession hAHAHAH--

Edit:

[pr1ncessm00n]

for sale or wanted — jean kirstein x fem! reader

series masterlist

prev | next , part two

warnings: cursing, porco being toxic lol. dates are wrong once again sorry !!

[ playlist : love again - dua lipa ]

eight.

Half asleep and ready to go to bed, Y/N fell back into her bed. She picked up her phone, hoping to mindlessly scroll through some TikToks. Instead, she was met with two messages. Audibly gasping as she read Porco’s name, she dropped her phone, hitting herself in the face in the process. “Ow!”

Porco? Y/N thought incredulously. What the hell does he want?

Contemplating asking Ymir and Sasha for advice, Y/N then decided against it. This was her life, she couldn’t expect her friends to guide her though it. But God, was she such a coward when it came to Porco. It wasn’t like he was Prince Charming, but Y/N had an extreme loyalty complex. She couldn’t ever allow herself to let go of people. Porco used to berate her for that constantly.

Why are you so clingy? He would ask.

Who’s the clingy one now? Y/N thought bitterly. She decided to ignore Porco’s text until she could think of a reply that wasn’t along the lines of “No, fuck you.” She slid her thumb over to Jean’s message.

Great. Another text asking to talk. Why couldn’t people just send their question and save a girl the anxiety? Y/N scolded herself for allowing her egotistical ex to ruin her mood. Jean didn’t deserve her snappiness.

Jean sighed in relief. Thank God she replied. He didn’t know if he could handle the mortification if she didn’t.

Y/N pondered for a bit.

Y/N laughed quietly to herself. So Jean could in fact match her sense of humor. She exited out of their chat, mindlessly scrolling through social media. She actively avoided Porco’s message, not wanting to burden herself with the chore of responding to him. What could he possibly have to say? She headed to Twitter, hopefully finding something relatable to retweet. As Y/N scrolled, she saw a familiar face appear on her timeline.

Recommended for you from contacts, the header read. Below it was about 3 profiles of people in her contacts she had not followed yet. Among them, was Jean.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

Should I? She questioned. Would she be overstepping some unspoken boundary? What if she hurt her own feelings by stalking and seeing something she wouldn’t like/had no business seeing? Maybe she should just ignore it. She doubted Jean was some internet creep… but wouldn’t it be good to know if he was? Curiosity getting the better of her, Y/N decided to invade that boundary and look at his account.

He didn’t have much content from what Y/N could see. He just retweeted fancy cars and some funny memes. She spotted Connie, Sasha’s lifelong friend and Jean’s infamous roomie. She mentally hoped Jean didn’t tweet like Connie. That would be the ultimate ick.

Y/N’s thumb stopped scrolling, hovering over a tweet. Her heart beated ten times more rapidly.

well she is pretty lol, Jean’s tweet read. Tweeted just an hour after he met Y/N.

Could it be? Y/N wondered. No way. There’s no way it’s about me. I’m just jumping to conclusions. Why would he say that about me? I’m just being self absorbed.

She brushed off her inquiries, deciding to just stop stalking his account entirely. From what she already saw, there wasn’t anything suspicious or icky enough to make her want to not interact with him. And she was already paranoid, so every tweet she saw she would begin to assume it was about her as well. She was just getting her hopes up.

Rolling over on her side, Y/N placed her phone to charge and went to sleep. It was late, which was probably what was causing her mind to become fuddled.

——

“You should’ve told me Sasha’s third roomie was Y/N,” Reiner had said to Jean in the truck. “I totally blindsided her. Top ten worst encounters of my life.”

“Uh, care to enlighten me? Do you guys have beef or something?” Jean asked, perusing the radio stations.

Reiner sighed. “She’s dating- was dating- my childhood friend, Porco.”

Jean felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”

Reiner glanced at him before stopping at a red light. “I said dating. He dumped her like a week ago. It was pretty trash.”

Jean secretly felt more at peace hearing that. Poor Y/N, but.. she could probably do better than this Porco person.

“So what does that have to do with you?” Jean asked.

Reiner shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really help. She said she felt a little betrayed. Like I agreed with Porco and my friends that she’s the crazy one.”

Jean nodded. “So you were a bystander.”

Reiner sighed again, tilting his head in an I guess motion. “It’s just hard. Porco’s like my brother, and I don’t agree with how he acted… but maybe I should have spoken up sooner.”

Jean patted his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, man. That was between them.”

“Yeah. I could have at least told Porco to step it up, though.” Reiner murmured.

I’m glad you didn’t. Jean snickered to himself.

“So, you think she’s cute?” Reiner shot Jean a devilish grin. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. You goin’ to Historia’s birthday?” He slyly changed the subject.

“Is it open invite?” Reiner’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jean shrugged. “I have an invite. Maybe you can be my plus one.”

Reiner made a “Hmm” sound in response, weary at Jean’s invite. “What are you dressing as if you go?”

“I was thinking swag era Justin Bieber.” Jean replied, smiling widely.

Reiner gave him a look. “You for real?”

Jean’s smile dropped. “What?”

Reiner laughed. “I’d pay money to see how badly you embarrass yourself with that.”

“It’s a 2000’s party?” Jean was confused.

“Yeah, but everyone does like, early 2000s. Think Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.”

Jean shot him a curious look.

“What? Pop culture is my guilty pleasure.” Reiner explained himself. “And everyone knows Britney Spears.”

Jean hummed in response. “I just think you got a thing for pop girls.” He referenced the earlier Becky G mishap.

“I’m not even gonna deny it anymore.” Reiner agreed, defeated.

——

“Guys,” Y/N said the next morning. Ymir and Sasha were at the breakfast “nook” (a corner of their miniature kitchen designated for a small table that barely fit all three of them), Sasha eating cereal and Ymir chomping on an apple while scrolling on her phone. “Porco texted me last night.”

Ymir continued scrolling, unfazed. Sasha’s eyes widened and she swallowed her food before speaking. “What? Why?” Y/N glared at Ymir.

“Thanks for your interest YMIR, but as i was telling Sasha-“

“I’m Sasha.” Sasha cut in, obviously confused.

Y/N gave Sasha a look.

“Did you say something?” Ymir said, bored. She still hadn’t looked up from her phone.

“Ymir!” Sasha scolded. “Y/N’s telling us Porco texted her!”

“Who’s Porco?” Ymir replied, monotonous.

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “Are you stalking Eren again? I already told you to stop comparing your subscribers-“

“I’m not stalking Eren!” Ymir snapped defensively. “I’m…” She mumbled the next part incoherently.

“Huh?” Sasha and Y/N asked in unison.

“I SAID,” Ymir repeated, annoyed. “I’m looking up Britney Spears outfits. Historia wanted us to go as different eras of her. But I can’t find anything that matches my style.” She grumbled.

Y/N’s heart melted. It was adorable watching Ymir struggle to find a matching costume for Historia. It was like Marilyn Manson wanting to get along with a CareBear.

“Just go as JT,” Sasha said, chewing her cereal.

“One, close your mouth, and two, Historia asked for us to go as Brittney. I can’t just show up like a dude.” Ymir visibly deflated as she scrolled through countless pictures of a younger Spear’s iconic looks.

“Why don’t you try her bandanna phase? That wasn’t so over the top, and she wore mostly jeans.” Y/N suggested as she squeezed into the corner chair.

Ymir sighed. “I don’t want to wear a skirt or some bimbo shit. That’s y’alls look.”

“How do you manage to sound endearing trying to please your girlfriend while simultaneously insulting us?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“It’s a talent.” Ymir waved her off. “What did you guys get her though?”

“A giftcard to Urban Outfitters,” Sasha replied. “I got tired of searchin’. I put $50 on it. I think that should be enough for like, a shirt and a half. She better like it, too. ‘Cus I’m broke.” Sasha pointed her spoon at Ymir accusingly.

“I got her the Taylor Swift vinyl she’s been wanting. And some pink film for her camera.” Y/N added. Ymir nodded approvingly.

“I hope she likes my gift. I don’t know if I’m moving too fast though?” For the first time since Y/N mer Ymir, Y/N hadn’t ever seen her this distraught.

“Calm down,” Y/N reassured her. “You’ve been together for years now. I don’t think you can move any slower.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, leaning back im her chair with arms crossed. “It’s a small trip to Seoul. I know she’s been dying to go. It’s not like it’s anything she hasn’t seen before with her family… but I figure it’d be different with just us.” Y/N’s heart melted.

“That’s so sweet!” Sasha exclaimed, eyes watery. “I want an Ymir!”

“Well, you can’t have me!” Ymir laughed. “It’s not a big deal. The sponsorship I managed to land gave me a decent payout.” Ymir sheepishly replied, her cheeks a faint red

Y/N nudged her. “Look at you, being modest.”

Ymir waved her hand. “Shut up. How does this look?” She turned her phone to Y/N, showing a picture of Britney Spears clad in low waist jeans, a black tank top and sure enough, a yellow bandanna.

“That’s perfect.”

Ymir smirked, smug. “Just like me.”

“Y/N!” Sasha shouted. “Go back to the Porco thing!”

“Oh, yeah. What did Oinky want?” The girls turned to face Y/N, who shrank a bit back in her seat.

“That’s a new one,” Y/N chuckled. “I thought of one last night, too,” She paued for dramatic effect. “Porker!” She gasped out, giggling, hitting the table in a slight fit of laughter. Sasha and Ymir gave Y/N a blank stare, unamused at Y/N’s mediocre roast.

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.” Sasha spat.

“If your career was stand up you’d be living in a box.” Ymir deadpanned.

“Tough crowd,” Y/N sighed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. “But if you must know…” She purposely stalled a bit, knowing it would send an impatient, jittery Sasha over the edge and annoy Ymir even more, even if she pretended she was not interested in the relationship drama between Y/N and her disgraced ex.

“Just say it already!” Sasha begged.

“I…don’t know. I haven’t responded.” Y/N finally admitted, putting her head in her hands. “I just-“ Her words were muffled by her hands.

Ymir removed her hands from her face. “Your words, darling.” She scolded, voice oozing sarcasm.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned. “I’m too pussy to respond. He just asked if we could talk. What could he possibly want? What if he wants the couch? It’s just too much.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic gaze. “Just leave him on read! If he wants to talk so badly he’ll find a way to say what he needs to.”

“For once, I agree.” Ymir added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Y/N stretched. “But it did keep me up at night wondering what he wanted.”

“Y/N, forget him! Historia’s party is soon, there’s no time to worry about ugly men!” Sasha stood up, rushing to put her bowl in the sink. “I got a lecture in a few, but you need to find your costume! We’re all going as Britney!” She said before disappearing into her room.

“Um, who’s gonna tell her we’re not all dressing as Britney?” Ymir inquired.

Y/N snorted. “Not I. I’m probably going as Suki from Fast and the Furious.”

“Niiceee,” Ymir fist pumped Y/N. “She was my sexual awakening.” Y/N choked on her muffin.

“Ymir, what’d we say about uncalled for horniness?” Y/N reprimanded. Ymir made her way to the coat rack, searching for her car keys in her leather jacket’s pocket.

“If I was gonna be chewed out for liking women I would’ve lived with my parents!” Ymir called out. “I gotta pick up Historia!”

“Will you be back?” Y/N shouted back.

“Get off my dick!” Ymir shut the door. Laughing to herself, Y/N picked up Ymir’s dish to place in the sink. She was, out of the three, the more tidier one. Ymir did the best cleaning, but she was selectively lazy.

“Bye, Y/N!” Sasha shouted before leaving in a rush. One thing Y/N had grown used to was the fairly chaotic mornings. She secretly hoped they would be like this for a long time.

Since Y/N had transferred, Ymir and Sasha had been the best roommates she could ask for. Yes, Ymir was snappy and Sasha was a bit ditzy, but it was the perfect combination and they were respectful. Y/N had transferred from Sina University purely for academic reasons, but she had not expected to fit in so well with the girls or their group of pre establish friends. She worried she would not fit in since they had already been so tight-knit, but found that wasn’t the case at all. They were open, accepting and loyal. Y/N couldn’t be happier where she was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was grateful for how close they had all gotten in their short time together. Who knew randomly assigned rooming would provide her with friendship to last a lifetime?

Which is why every time she thought about Porco she kicked herself. How could she have let some… meathead ruin her freshmen year of college? She should have been having fun, interacting with Ymir and Sasha’s friends more, lived her own life. But no, she chose to become involved with a self absorbed fraternity guy of all people. Now she was semi-heartbroken, extremely humiliated, and about a year’s worth of time and effort short. She had allowed him to take advantage of her so much, that he felt he could contact her still after basically using her. The thought made her want to rip her hair out and scream.

Almost as if through divine intervention, her phone beeped with a notification.

What the actual hell? Y/N thought.

She froze for a second. What does she do? Respond? Ignore? Block?

After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Y/N finally decided. She was fed up with the lack of bravery she showed and decided to just end it once and for all. Typing out a response, she clicked send and decided to go to the mall for the retail therapy she was sure to need after whatever Porco said what he wanted to say. Turning the shower on, she braced herself for his response. What could Porco want? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

This better be good, Y/N thought.

taglist : @tsunderehokage @lagrimasdeglitter @snowyseungs @mukeovernetflix @bakugouswh0r3 @punicorn999 @deadlyaffairs @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe

a/n: woohoo!! long chapter. so to recap: i graduated!! i am finally free from the clutches of high school. i might do a face reveal :) bc i loved my grad dress. anywho, my fever cleared up, i have chapter 9 already completed (just need to revise + edit) and this is NOT proof read!! it’s 2 am guys i’m tired. but i hope you enjoyed this :) sorry for the weird cropping too. peace out

[nctworststuff]

I do not own this pretty header

P-Johnny x gn!reader | G-Kinda angst a lil bit but still fluff (?), Mafia Au, enemies to lovers | W-Gun, mention of drug, mention to kill, swearing, cringe (?) | WC-0.6 k

Velvet say: just let me know if this CRINGE or not lol

Stop it, you make me addicted with it

Im Addicted

You take your breath heavily and walking toward his mansion. Not forget to bring your gun to be ready and placed it around your waist. Yeah who knows if anything could happen. The night is ready to replace the sunset. This time, you have to manage your deal about business with your gang rival, or trustworthy enemy. Wait, isn't it the same? Or not? Yeah whatever who cares, you thought

Your feet have stepped into his place, quickly and carefully you go towards the man who is sitting on the chair.

"Johnny"

Then the man stand up and slowly walking to you, still make sure to keep distance with you, its like he is afraid if you kill him. Yeah this is Johnny. His blonde hair and that red-black suit are really fit with his role. He smirk at you

Oh come on, just stop smirk

"Y/n"

"What you do at here?" He place his hands in his pocket. He dared himself to make eye contact with you

This idiot are trying to trick? What now

You cleared your throat

"Please dont act like you dont know anything. You promised with me" you started to lost your patience. But, still trying to act cool

"Oh really? Its like you fall for my trick. Congrats" he chuckled with heartless voices. You cursed in your breath.He just kidding, you know it.

"Johnny, you bast-"

"Im kidding, honey. Before we continue, can you do my favor? And I promise to give a drug on the spot"

What? At this last minute? I just come here to do this thing quickly instead of wasting my time

You start to lost your patience and the anger dominated you. You dont know why you suddenly feel this angry. You come closer to him and grab his collar

"Johnny fucking Seo. Just go straight to the point. Just give me what are you promised with me before! Just give me that fuckin drug! Or I WILL KILL YOU" You yelled at him. You feel satisfied when you do that. But still you dont get what you want

"Calm down, lady. And I never heard the swear word in my name. How dare you?"

Oh stupid stupid stupid! Why is he like to being like this?

"Mr. Seo, STOP YOU MAKE ME-"

But he never let you finished your sentence

He shut you with his lips crash into yours. Yes. He are KISSING you. Your eyes widened and you dont know what to do with him. You push his chest and you can feel your breath are heavy

"WHAT WAS THAT" You said in disbelief. Your heart racing right now. Yes, you are getting angrier because of sudden kiss while you are being serious, but you kinda enjoyed it and loved it.

He stole your first kiss just shut you up. He is not mean it right? Its possible right to make your enemy turn into the lover? Its just an accident isn't it? You gulped. How can king and queen of mafia who was enemy are kissed just now?

He coming closer at you again and whisper something

"Listen, I was kidding about the drug, its mean, I tell you to come at here today not because of the drug thing. Its about my love towards you. I have deep feeling for you called love. I like you since... last? You are that real drug. Im addicted with you." Your heart beat fast as you hear that

Yes, you couldn't deny that you are loving over him for a year.

But you just acted pretty cool infront of him like you are never going to love him but those act is a pretty liar

Wow, king and queen in love. 2 years of being enemy now the king confessed it

"Stop. Not infront of my salad" Mark said disgustingly from from far and rolled his eyes. Mark start to going at others way

"Shut up, Mork. You ruining it" Johnny felt annoying

He turned back to look at you

"What about you?" he ask

"I- FUCK. YES! I love you" he smiling at you

"But please just give your damn drugs or all my plan ruined"

°-©nctworststuff