#im pretty sure i had something funny to put here but i forgor.

[jevilowo]

Went to France instead of making Soldier Ships. And then Forgor. Apologies.

Ranking Tf2 Ships Part 2: Soldier

Batting Helmet

See the first list lmao

It's hilarious, basically.

Sollycest

I think their combined power would destroy the planet. So.

Objectively funny also, however

Fireworks

Im like 90% sure thats the ship name but i havent touched my shipping website in months soooooo

Same genre as batting helmet, but objectively BETTER, because they actively meet each others' crackpot level. And there's minimal choking.

Seriously check out the tag on ao3 some absolutely BRILLIANT fics on there shout out to uhhh i think they're called Hanktalkin and they've written the best ones

Realistically would destroy everything around them. I'm beginning to think that would just happen with most Solly ships.

Boots n Bombs

SHOUT OUT TO BOOTS N BOMBS WEIRDLY UNDERATED DESPITE BEING THE FOURTH MOST POPULAR SHIP ON AO3. Crazy gap between bloody suit (1000+) and them (like around 450).

EMESIS BLUE. URGH. THEY KILL ME.

WAR! UPDATE. URGH. THEY CONTINUE TO KILL ME.

CUT VOICELINES. URGH. THEY SUCEEDED IN KILLING ME. I AM DEAD.

Lovely lovely dynamic, platonic or otherwise. At least Besties in every universe, team colours be damned.

And the YURI. ARGH I saw someone describe WAR! solly x demo as yuri coded bc of their "unbearably sapphic levels of miscommunication" which HAHA YEAH but I mostly mean the genderbendy art it's Exquisite.

Bonus points for when they're polying up they cule with Zhanna also. I had to explain the word polycule to a classmate the other day isn't that wild. Anyways the three of them match each others' freaks.

Cold War

When you're so determined for this idiot to not fuck your sister you fuck him instead lmao

Pretty fun in theory, in practice I think they'd both hate it.

Um shout out to that one fic i read once where soldier ruptured his throat giving heavy head that was. Something. I mean that in a nice if midly bemused way btw.

Helmet Party

Save me helmet party etc etc

The art on here for them is adorable genuinely the softest i see solly portrayed in fanworks is with engie

In canon Solly seems to respect Engie the most? E.g. Expiration date: stops choking out scout when asked to by Engie, takes Engie's "teleport bread if u want" comment as an ORDER, even the whole QUESTION whatsurquestionsoljer exchange felt very I ASK OF YOU, COMMANDING OFFICER!! What having another True American on the team does to a mf i guess. Scout isnt a True American he's french.

I mean i still like boots n bombs more lol but helmet party fans i see u and i love u especially when u make it yuri.

Fruit Scones

Look up the story behind the ship name guys its great

As a ship to me it's heavymedic but without everything that makes heavymedic the Ship Of All Time

Solly's pocket medic cosmetic is cute tho

Uhhh as long as soldier never made the germany connection i think it could work? Like he'd let medic do crazy shit to him and medic would giggle and kick his feet over it. Then again there's no way medic wasnt doing fucked up shit to n*zis during ww2 so ykw it would probably work out regardless yippeee

OH YEAH THE NICKNAMES whenever i play medic and hear a cmere sweetheart/pumpkin/sally/cupcake I lose all control of myself and suddenly become a pocket medic teehee.

American Aviators

Its a sniper ship and not sb so I automatically like it

Tragically not that compatible. Sniper would find soldier too loud and soldier would find sniper too unamerican in his shooting things from far away tactics.

They have potential to be good friends tho i think. I've always seen Sniper as a trolling god (see that one in character interview john patrick lowry did in uh 2014 i think) and Solly would eat that shit up.

Freedom Fries

Ehhh?

Art on here is cute. Don't get me wrong. Love that.

HOWEVER. in no universe would they actually Function as a couple. Sorry guys. 54727474 dead 277282848 injured.

I am also put off it because people flock to it (and, sigh, mediscout,) over boots n bombs in the emesis blue side of the fandom. I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING BY THE WAY, I GOT ACCUSED OF THAT ONCE AND HAVE YET TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER, but i reallyyyy wish people would focus less on Most Toxicly Basic Yaoi Known To Man, and more on Tragic Doomed Yaoi Where Both Parties Actually Kind Of Like Eachother And Didn't Both Try To Kill Each Other (russian roulette and the grenade at the funeral). AGAIN I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING HERE PLS DON'T CONSUME ME SHIP WHAT YOU WANT GIRLYPOPS.

Sollypauling

I have a crack headcanon that he's her father so that's put me off seeing them romantically haha

I wrote a fic about The Fathering once at 12am and im still not sure whether i hate it or not so don't read it just to be safe <3

Magic Missiles

DIVORCED!!! *autism creature confetti gif*

Jay Pinkerton (comic writer) allegedly reblogged MM art once. And he refuses to let their dynamic go in the comics. I.e. "the heart wants what the heart wants, Merasmus". Truly their biggest fan.

I love them i really do. Only slightly less toxic than fucking adminpauling imo, and thats like britney spears dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot bweebwahbweebwahbwahh levels of toxic

Maggot Bears

Based based utterly based fucking detergent levels of based and thats like 13 or something on the pH scale (i.e. Extremely Based)

They do in fact destory everything around them, proving my earlier hypothesis lol.

Idiot 4 Idiot. Dumbass 4 Dumbass. They both get naked to pee. I love them. I want to be them.

Again, bonus points when Demo is involved. Uwaaa.

I love the lack of consistent ship name for them. East meets West? Maggot Bears? Boots n Brawn? Zhannasolly? There's one involving honey as well but i forgor it and I've been typing so much I've got pins and needles in my left hand so i give up. Peace.

[saltlickmp3]

okay so i am listening to tbi again as i write this i was going to do it earlier but didnt for. idk reasons got distracted BUT here i am anyways with my thoughts, so -

obligatory 'old norse mythology' *looks inside* *retrospectively added christianity warping the story* mention cos ahjsgahjgnshnghjengrnfregrhnhrrnnregh. explodes. anyways. you make a really good point about how in modern media, stories are often Very driven by & focused on character dynamics, whereas older stories, up until really quite recently, are often focused more on Plot & Things That Happened, & by extension this makes Loki's role as a trickster god within character dynamics quite complex - because we dont want to see our protagonist doing anything Too Awful or we wont like then & arent invested, But if the story removes things that make loki Actuallu Interesting that it can sort of. fall flat in other ways. like making baldur secretly evil, or alternate universe evil in the marvel comics (taking your word for it i havent read them), is?? a weird choice? like the point of the story, iirc, is that baldur was the specialest golden boy of the universe & everyone loved him & loki thought lol wouldnt it be funny if i got him injured with the only thing that can LMAO (or was it a grudge thing? i forgor :( ). which obviously doesnt work well making her a likeable protagonist in a retelling.

also trickster character lend themselves well to sort of anti hero / rebelling against the system characters, which is probably why reimagining the other gods as tyrants is common & works well - like in the bifrost incident (to my understanding. im not quite sure whats going on in there exactly) even though loki (& sigyn?) have done some pretty bad things its like, welllllllll, the other gods are trying to wreck her cool space train so she's obviously in the right there :). in teh same way how the doctor can commit untold war crimes & he;s still the sympathetic adored protagonist of the show universes specialest guy etc. as long as loki is portrayed to have a righteous cause, which she often doesnt in the myths iirc, she could get away with quite a bit but some retellings kind of...... dont use that

ALSO a while ago i saw a thing saying something like the bits of the thor etc movies where loki is the coolest & most charismatic & most likeable (& most genderWHO SAID THA-), is when he is being the most Problematic, like making people bow before him etc generally causing destruction for funsies, & in parts of the loki show where he literally says 'uhm hi im a narrcissist & im afraid of not being good enough' or whatever he says, it makes him Less Cool because you Want him to be sauntering around causing havoc b/c he can. but they put him in a collar & make him apologise. & then kiss his clone like girl wgat. (i had Thoughts on sylvie as a character but im gonna be honest its been A While since i saw that show so i've mostly forgotten them raghhhh).

but anyways THAT WHOLE THING YOU WROTE IS REALLY INTERESTING /GENUINE you can ramble about loki at me as much as you want hehe :]

can i talk to you about something norse mythology related which i have been thinking about a lot

YES OF COURsE you definitely can ✨