#im planning on making more these are a fun way to explore both my art and to take more time appreciating how thief looks
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odetoscavengers · 3 months ago
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screenshot studies from thief, wanted to test out some color + material stuff and thought thief would be a fun subject heavily referenced from my own screenshots
second part here
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atlaskrr · 5 months ago
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webtoons I've read recently that i enjoy!
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I finally read our walk home! its rlly sweet and i cant wait for it to come off hiatus. i instantly got hooked by the characters. i like how its a they get eo thing and not an actual rivals to lovers thing. idk it feels more special. and the characters mentalities being explored is sooo good man. im also curious on the lot abt the angel and devil + akis brother. on a side note if i were either of them id fold so quickly cause why they both so pretty. their interactions are so cute man. its soft, genuine. i like it.
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peace restaurant. love it. was reading it and i was like damn fknally something that gives me what yohaji did (tho not the same obvi) it is only starting on en ver (7 free chaps iirc) and i was so hooked i ended up reading all the kr released chaps on aggregator sites. im so confused and sad bcs it stopped at chap 28 back in nov 2023. still its really good. i love the dynamic between sua, belial and nhedhuk. they are so found fam to me. like nhedhuk is obvi the younger sibling and belial is her older brother. sua is their unconventional mom. speaking of belial his development was really nice. the way his fear was all the ppl he cared abt dying (INCLUDING SUA AND NHEDHUK) im scared abt whats gonna happen with him with how 28 ended off tho 😅 i think i have a thing for op female mcs (ty bofuri) and also this is why for one of the very few times the mc is my fav chara followed closely by the 2 deuteragonists. comedy that grows plot gotta be my new fav thing. in the beginning tho i love how every time you think smth serious will happen its just another gag. anws the whole dimension ordeal is also cool.
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ok this thing had me clicking from its artstyle. i think yohaji made me a comedy person cause this is a comedy as well. i continued reading the few short chaps cause it was silly and sweet. this ghost truly is just a kind and pathetic thing. the fact shes mute is also really nice as the creator actually competed twice and placed in silent manga competitions (which were really good btw. go check out volpee). when the managers were introduced i thought plot was coming but nope! but also i was even more hooked cause the design for mr. h??? love. the vibes and style is immaculate. the ghost of cloth is also really silly and has a nice design lol. there was no ep last month but its back on now! oh yeah the toy ghost is really cool as well. somehow they can still make it expressive despite its still face. the whole remote control car situation had me cackling tho lmao.
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OH MY GOD PROJECT CAMELLIA HAS LIKE 6 EPS AND ONE IS A AUTHORS NOTE THING BUT DO I CARE??? NO. the pretty boy cover enticed me and im so glad it did bcs it seems so promising. the author note had stuff about their process and the future and the way they thought it through, how the 2 mcs change eo and it shows PHYSICALLY. in love. the way they plan to change the main mc throughout the story has me scared and excited. it seems like they can handle chara development well which is something i value highly as i read for charas most of the time. the art style is also really nice. if you check out the creators insta you can really see how skilled they are like the art there looks majestic (theyre a danmei fan). apparently therell also be a yuri side couple 👀 basically, the future seems bright for this webtoon.
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i hust finished catching up to the tl ver of the students of illip arts high cause the en is new to webtoon just like peace restaurant. i was hooked by the unique style used for the vr game and how so yi and han sol bonded and allat. their relationship is so ough to me. dakyung is also a fun chara and for seiun idk she seems kinda pretentious. i dont like how they dealt with eppys chara either. still its early on so even though the charas besides mc seem to not have as much impact as they could it has much room to grow.
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oceanera12 · 1 year ago
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Dude, if I wasn’t broke I would literally offer to pay real money for you to write the other side of Tango’s chapter. I know you said you didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of writing extra parts and considering the length and detail you put into every chapter I totally get it, but man, that rescue mission would be so cool to read. I’m glad we at least have an idea of what happened though because even just imagining the whole operation based on that outline is so much fun.
Also, what is Zedaph doing in the Hunter arc in your handwritten outline? 👀 I am very curious about what you’re gonna do with the sheep man
Btw, speaking of ‘director’s cuts’, do you have any comments on Xb’s chapter? I think I’ve said this before but his and Tango’s together are my favorite bit of this fic so far. Just, the complete contrast between the two and how Xb’s chapter helps to highlight everything that the people in Tango’s situation have lost, how the hunters steal more than just their freedom (as if that was little thing), while at the same time diving into and exploring the joys of the diversity that inhabits this universe. Absolute masterpieces, both chapters.
~ @nightmare761
(Im shadowbanned so i cant go off anon)
Well, that stinks.
If I do any "one-off" chapters with Built Family it will be after the main story is actually done to preserve no only my motivation, but my sanity. So we shall just have to see what happens.
Don't worry about the sheep man. He's fine. No really. Don't worry about him. Don't even think about him. He's fine. He's doing fine. Nothing is wrong with him and you do not need to worry about him doing anything of any sort. He is 100% fine and his chapter is not at all one I am looking forward to writing because I want to see what all of your reactions are. That is not the case at all. Don't worry about him. Don't think, don't even ask about him. Zed's fine, he's fine, he's fINE--
ON TO THE CHAPTER ANALYSIS. To anyone who wants to reread it:
There you go. Everyone else, either scroll by or read on!
xB's chapter is one of my favorites because of all the (MatPat voice) LORE!!!
There is so much of it that if I tried to explain it all we would be here all day so we aren't going to do that. But, I knew that I wanted to show how just because they are all "players" there is culture carried from your origin, your server, whatever. The best way to explore is to try and hit as many as I possibly could.
xB's introductions was longer than I planned, but that was my own fault. I wanted to shove as much Guardian culture into only a few pages and it was impossible. So what was supposed to be "here is a peek into Guardian culture" turned into what could have been a chapter on it's own (a common pattern with this fic and I will not apologize for that).
What xB's original chapter was supposed to mainly consist of was all of his trips and what he learned from everyone. That ended up being condensed into a form of "chat" in his journal entries and honestly? I like it. It leaves room for me to explore future cultures (cough cough *Impusle!* cough cough). We do not get to see all of xB's trips, friends, and visits to various places.
I knew that I wanted to connect Cor to xB somehow. Making him the last "World Walker" since xB was unplanned, but really worked out. Originally, I did want to have Cor and xB talk directly, but I had to cut it because of LENGTH. Seriously, it is annoying how much I want to put in and CAN'T. (Maybe in the future after Built Family is done we'll do scene requests and I'll put them in a collection or something)
Case in point: xB's artist career. As an art major I cannot tell you how much I wanted to dive into all the different mediums, styles, and methods I could see xB doing-- but we'll just have to wait until Beef's chapter, lol.
We get to meet Keralis' wife and kids, however brief. I don't know why, but I really like them as these vague, unseen people for the most part. Not sure why.
xB is suspicious of Keralis and company despite their years of friendship. Beef is suspicious of xB despite their years of friendship. Both of them are not technically "bad" in their assumptions, as they both had their reasons to doubt. Obviously, those assumptions were not correct.
I totally forgot to give Keralis a charm in this chapter but I'm too lazy to care about going back to fix it. Now for everyone else's charms, they are 100% related to backstories or hinting at something in the future. As such, I can't really break them down and their meanings until later. But if y'all want to speculate, be my guest.
xB joining the Hermits because of his culture's leftover charms was kind of thrown together, but I like it. xB is one of the few Hermits where he's guided by his feelings and I kind of love him for it. We have a lot of Hermits who are logical in their actions.
I think that's all I got on xB's chapter but if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer in the notes.
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paperbagsandwich · 8 months ago
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that makes me want ros to be my friend!! (Ive been working on magical girl ocs because of my love for the genre, i think i might have too many wip because im planning on making a small animation as well for other stuff i like.)
That's more than fair! My little sister and brother are both on the spectrum (both have been tested for it, i haven't, my little sister stims a lot and runs around, my lil brother is more on the none verbal side unless it's something he likes, like sonic, kirby or mario kart). I know i stim as well (when the stardew valley update came out i was bouncing, clapping and waving my arms excitedly) its just lovely to see such attributes in characters.
please dont feel forced to check them out! Take as much time as you need if you want to tho! (Nausicaä has some of my fav creature designs in it honestly and there are lil apple people in stardew i needle felted some before)
!!! Yay!! Take as much time as you need ill be excitedly waiting for them even if you post them 200 years later, i don't mind i just wanna see more of your lovely art!
Ive done the same before! i like trying a bunch of different ways to make designs its always a bunch of fun to experiment, id reccomend trying if you also like just making random designs as well!
Aww thank you!! He had always tried to flirt with her before (he was just terrible at it) so she knew he was interested. She let him know she had feeling back when she kissed him on the cheek after he comforted her after a hard day (it made him happy cry and laugh as he hugged her tightly).
Thank you! I honestly think im just doing the bare minimum but thank you. Im happy to be here!! I enjoy talking to you and sending questions about your characters and you!! Plus as another creative person its nice to understand how you view your characters and how you explore different sides of them! Its something i want to do more (im still anxious about creating my own tumblrs/twitters for wg and nsfw content -these would be separate accounts-)
Ros does have that energy with people, she gets along with people a lot!
And OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH, THAT'S AWESOME!!!! Man I wish I had the energy for animation, that's so cool!!! Godspeed!! 🫡
I mean it's a long time coming, this was something I was going to check out on anyway for future characters so I can get people on the spectrum right and not just guess I've just been procrastinating JDKSHDKDISJS
Also, that's so cute!! 😭😭
And yeah, I'll get to the things on my own time, I like getting suggestions sometimes so I don't mind at all.
Also, AAAAWWWWWW, YOU DO FELT STUFF, THAT'S SO COOL!!! 😭😭
OOOH, that sounds so fun, maybe that'll help with Art Block!!
Making a Toon based campaign really helps with figuring out different art styles which is very fun to do.
Also, your patience is very admirable!!! 😭😭
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, I LOVE THESE TWO SO DAMN MUCH!!!!! 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕
And goodness, you're too nice, I really love talking about characters and other stuff with you!!!!
If feels so nice getting questions like these and I always get excited getting messages from you!!!
But don't force yourself to ask if you run out of things to say, I understand. You can only ask so much.
And I totally understand your nervousness when it comes to making a niche blog. It's okay if you're not ready, just do it when you're ready.
I'm sure everyone would love to see what you have.
And you can take the advice Lemon said by blocking people you may know online before posting your work.
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dogydayz · 2 years ago
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Ok so to update people on that whole Paradox Prism AU concept thing here's some notes about the AU im already beginning to create: -It's many years into the future, like around 7 or 8, from the "baseline canon timelines".
-Eggman is very similar to that "Eggman goes good" AU idea I'd had. He and the crew end up sorting things out in some ways and working together to build a truly better future, designing a sky city island where Eggman is able to put his genius to use, without causing harm to others (there may even be a small subplot from during that time skip where Shadow and Eggman interact and Shadow sorta gives him a bit of an "it's not too late to change your future" pep-talk).
-Tails is studying under Eggman to become his successor in the future, though sometimes it turns into more of a "who's actually the smarter one" competition. But hey, that keeps Eggman busy building silly robots to fight against Tails' creations for fun!
-Amy works as an environmental researcher and helps make decisions about things like what energy is used, how to bring technology and nature together in harmony, etc. Also she has somewhat basic medical training.
-Knuckles continues to protect the Master Emerald, while also helping to devise a more solid plan of defense against any stray "bad guys" that may exist that they know not of. For the most part though, he still lives in the city with the rest of his friends, but he may often take small vacations out to Angel Island to make sure everything is alright.
-Sonic shares a large apartment with Amy, Knuckles, and Tails, though he tends to be out and about more than staying near home. All throughout the city there are paths designed to allow the more adventurous folks explore to their hearts' content. Sonic is one of those folks, often seen blazing across the paths, rails, loops, you name it. It's also not uncommon for him to be seen in the middle of races! He's also often one of the first people contacted if the others notice anything strange happening, wherever they are.
-Rouge works at a jewelry and design boutique when she's not doing more dangerous scouting work, if ever necessary. She's still often questioned about where the hell she gets the rocks she sells, but she'll never tell (oh god the rhymes). Outside of that, she lives in a different apartment complex with Shadow, as well as Omega, however Omega usually just stays in the parking garage to "sleep" (it's not uncommon for one or both of the others to camp out down there with him, though).
-Shadow...Well, he's not quite sure what he does yet really. He's not entirely satisfied with the idea of having any specific "job", similar to some of the others like Knuckles and Sonic, yet he still feels that he should have one. Apart from that, he's kinda been learning about mechanics from Tails, who helps him with motorcycle repairs and modifications, and he's also gotten into theatrics in more recent times (he feels that it helps him to vent his emotions in a healthy way, while getting his mind off other, far more dismal things). He still goes through existential dread at times, though far less than he once had. Learning to just live life without necessarily having to have a utilitarian purpose for everything he does has... slowly but surely happened over those years between the base canon times and this AU. (As a side note in my writing, both Sonadow and Rouckles are canon in this AU, however it's not of much importance outside of some character interactions and my art that explicitly shows art OF those ships from this AU lol)
__________________________
With basic info outta the way, here comes the actual story part I've come up with: basically Sonic and Shadow end up getting brought back to a whole different universe when they intercept the plans of a chimera from another space, who takes them back to his own planet and tricks them into thinking he'd send them back home as soon as he can. he ends up conducting fucked up tests on them, threatens to kill Sonic if Shadow tries to fight back, and then his "assistant" (actually the guy working over him but hes much weaker than that guy so hes often seen as lesser) helps them to escape. They take the huge snake dragon mecha thing that brought them there and book it. Sonic nearly dies because the weird magnetic nano robot things they injected into him tore out of his body and left him absolutely fucked up, but they make it just in time and Shadow kicks the Paradox Prism of that universe out of the mech before the portal closes so that no one can track them. They end up getting back home, thankfully, but Sonic was nearly fatally wounded and now they have to deal with all the new shit they've learned about this stuff, and also the wack snake dragon thing. This is.... a serious paraphrasing of it. There's also a Mobian alongside the chimera guy who's the physical form of a desert deity, who's based on a thorny devil lizard and has parallels to Sonic and Knuckles. The chimera has parallels to Tails and Shadow, as he was designed by a scientist in an attempt to put his mind into an immortal body, however the actual project was a failure. The chimera was built from many bodies, Frankenstein's-monster style, and has part of that old scientist's "mind" still active in him, but overall he's still his own whole self. To people from his world, he's a sweet and caring, benevolent researcher who just wants the best for his people, and to honor the man who'd made him. To outsiders, he's a monstrous, cruel piece of shit who doesn't care if there's bloodshed, so long as it benefits his own people.
There's a LOT more ideas I have going with this, but these are my most basic ones. not sure if anyone's gonna like these or not lol but ill post it anyway!
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gachaparadise · 5 months ago
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i thought ZZZ was launching tomorrow night so. i absolutely did not put aside enough time to play it tonight orz... i started but i haven't gotten nearly far enough to actually review anything. despite that i persist. heres my thoughts for the first 3ish hours lol.
i find the combat. interesting. i think it has the potential to be really fun but i haven't really gotten to sink my teeth into it yet. not only because of time constraints but. the button layout is fucking with my muscle memory from like three different games and i cannot get it right to save my life. attack being x instead of b and dodge being y instead of rb is actually killing me. at least the ultimate button is where it should be so i'm not spamming it randomly.
i've done like. 3 cut scenes so i cannot speak to the overarching story much. i like the comedic vibe so far though. the opening scene with the reporter was pretty funny. i appreciate how they aren't just dumping world building on my head, just sorta letting me marinate in the world first.
environments looked really detailed and lovely but... i need to explore a little more. i need to know if we're getting little fun details like hsr. are there garbage cans for me to interact with. please. my inner trailblazer calls to me.
characters. again. just started. but i do like the sly hares or whatever they're called! billy is a silly goose, the girl is really funny as well. Nicole is cool. i like a stingy bitch lol. i'm really loving the mcs so far. i like their dynamic and their designs are really cute. i almost picked the female mc because i was worried about dialogue differences on the little date sections but... if i pick the guy and we don't get gender differences in the dialogue i can get some really yaoiful stuff and i can't risk missing out on that. plus hes cute. i REALLY love his eyes. the slightly lifted lower lid is a very unique and cute feature.
i think overall its interesting. the vibe is really cool and different from hoyos other games. but to be honest im not sure its for me? the modern techno fantasy thing IS cool, but it's not my favourite aesthetic. i think the arts good, but a little... plain? it doesn't really strike me as much as hoyos other products. that said it may be that they just look way better in motion. in cutscenes and stuff the charters look awesome but when they're standing still they seem a little dull. could be that i'm just used to the maximalist nature of their other games so a more restrained character reads as boring to me now...
there aren't really any designs that make me go ooohh yeah that right there is my WIFE!! and i'm not going to pretend that isn't my primary motivation for gacha games. so. we'll see how future characters turn out. everything just a bit more... cartoony i guess is the word? i dunno. nobody is really Hot with a capital H.
i'm getting off track since it's time for bed uh. one last thing. i feel very strongly i need to stop or minimize my time with others games especially in this launch period. i CAN technically keep playing everything i've got my hands on if i optimize the shit out of what i'm doing but. then i will be having absolutely no fun whatsoever and i need to avoid letting myself do that so. the current plan is
1) drop wuwa entirely for daily logins. i'm not sure i'm ready to quit quit but i don't really get much out of logging in right now so. i'll just stop and see if i miss it.
2) i'm gonna take a break from spending resin in genshin. i'm not even spending it on anything important lately and the battlepass is done so. i'm just going to stop doing it for a while. we're in the pre natlan slump so it's a good time to rest my genshin muscles.
3) as for hsr well. it's quick and we have auto lol. i'll just send my chars to grind for books since i'm literally out and it'll do both my resin and my dailies in one. truly do love this game
i know that SOUNDS a lot like optimizing and taking the fun out of everything but i swear its' not. optimizing would be finding a way to still be doing the dailies and resins for all 3 of those things plus whatever they have going on in pso. which is what i have been doing up til now. no more you hear me!! i may be the worlds biggest gacha apologist but even i can say you know what i've been indulging way to much lately i gotta cut back.
anyway. rant over, i'm going to bed. will continue my review tomorrow ^w^)/
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victoria1676 · 2 years ago
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Okay I just remembered that the reader had decided not to destroy sumeru and snezhnaya but the real reason they didn't destroy sumeru is because they saw how their archon looked like a child and you can't tell me they thought 'This child's canna be the true reason this nations gonna downfall so there no point lmao' but it could also be because they never really attacked them and maybe assisted the reader because their are healer there but also their archon represents wisdom lol so they wouldn't be as blind anyway I'll be back to give you more art and just chat lol anyway see ya.
-Anon Crow ✌️
Notice: This is all for fun and mostly something you dont need to take serious in the game as these are just my opinions and thoughts that I try my besg to make people understand despite it might not be able to understand properly the way I try to show it TwT
Actually the reason why I picked Sumeru and Snezhnaya is that:
Sumeru:
Since its coming out next month I will be busy exploring and reading the lore alot so that I can understand the plot of that region and trying to understand all the Sumeru characters properly without butuchering or making the character OOC. The dendro archon is like so far obviously the god of wisdom and despite their small form they are very much someone we do not underestimate if people like read or why the Dendro archon is a small child XD
But anyways back to the topic.
Like i mentioned the Dendro Archon despite being youngest of the seven being 500 years old if I am correct remembering Ganyu's dialogue where she mentioned about the dendro archon and yes again they are the God of Wisdom so for me I am sure they would be aware something is wrong with the creator that suddenly appeared and acting like a tyrant. Espeically like despite they are mentioned to be a kid we cant underestimate them XD
Hopefully around 3.0 we can get more lore of her and lore of Sumeru because im dying to know their lore including Fontaine!! 😭💕👌
Snezhnaya:
I find like considering that is basically where all the Fatui are gonna be appearing a lot and the Tsaritsa so far me is like someone who worship the creator in her own way but never a harder core type like Zhongli, Venti and Ei. She feels like someone who cares about the creator but is more focused on her plan.
(Yeah so far im still trying to get the right description of Tsaritsa without making her OOC TwT forgive meeee)
But like both she and her harbingers have their own goals and I think some harbingers i find would not be a worshipping type unlike Childe who already is exposed being a vessel and someone who will do anything be the creator's side.
Meanwhile I still have to search more info of the harbingers as majority some of their lores were mentioned by charas, books and artifacts of them.
La Signora for me is the one who would despise the creator but always like questions them on why didnt they save her beloved and why is her body (and possibly her soul) now confined into a daily torture of boss fighting domain.
Scaramouche for me feels like someone who hates the creator for making him go through a hard and harsh life especially taking away his friend away. It would take time for him to like get around okay with reader.
But honestly these are just my thoughts since I havent done much re-reading lores since I am still waiting for Sumeru and also trying to get more primos to get Kazuha since i only have 4 or 3 days left to get him along with Heizou DX
These two inazuman anemo boys better come home cause i legit had to multitask my last summer assignments and farm more primos to get them before the banner ends. I could have also get Klee if my luck as a F2P is not very bad and cursed TwT
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ncssian · 4 years ago
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A Favor: Part Seventeen
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n: 70% of this fic is written on my phone lying on my side in bed while using swipe typing bc im too lazy to type out words and it shows
TW: discussion of SA
***
Nesta has an easier time adjusting to a third person in the cabin than she thought she would. Maybe it’s because Azriel indeed minds his business, and half the time Nesta isn’t aware he’s there at all.
Cassian seems to be more irritated by it than anyone else—not his brother, of course, but the fact that he and Nesta no longer exist in their own little bubble. Which is how he ends up at Nesta’s apartment with an overnight bag, sprawled out stomach-down on her mattress while she gets ready for bed.
“TV show or movie?” he asks, clicking through her laptop. Shows are Nesta’s thing and movies are Cassian’s; she feels generous enough tonight to say, “Movie.”
“Thank god,” he mutters, typing something on the laptop. “There’s a Turkish horror flick that I was saving for you.”
“Where do you even find these films?” Grabbing her hairbrush, she flops onto the bed beside him and starts brushing out her brassy locks. Before he can answer, Nesta’s phone buzzes from the stool she uses as a bedside table. Feyre’s name flashes on the screen.
Nesta frowns, but picks up without a second thought. “What is it?”
“Nothing serious,” her sister replies. “Just checking in.”
Before Cassian, Nesta didn’t very much understand the purpose of “checking in” without reason. Now she empathizes with Feyre a little. “I’m fine,” she says.
Deciding she can do better than that, she adds, “Cassian and I are about to start a movie.”
“Is it his choice? I’m so sorry for you.”
Nesta peeks over to where Cassian is still intently searching for his obscure movie and smiles a little. “I like Turkish horror,” she replies.
Cassian overhears and grins approvingly.
“Well, I’m looking at wedding dresses with Rhys so he can prepare for when he inevitably proposes,” Feyre says. “In case you wanted to know.”
Nesta did not particularly want to know, but she doesn’t say this. “Sounds fun. Is that it?”
“For what?”
“This conversation.”
Feyre sighs over the line. “Yes, I’ll let you go now. Thanks for picking up.”
The bar is in hell, Nesta thinks. Mostly because she put it there, but she still feels embarrassed to be congratulated over such small things. “Thanks for keeping it short.”
She’s about to hang up when she hears a male voice speak up in the background, and Feyre interrupts, “Wait—before you go, can you tell Cassian to call Rhys back? He wants Cass’s help picking a new team leader for the Italy project.”
Nesta has no idea what that is, but she says, “Sure, fine.” They say their goodbyes and hang up.
“What’d she want?” Cassian says without looking over at her.
“She said Rhys wants you to call him about the Italy project.”
Cassian turns toward her, half sitting up. “Really? What for?”
“Something about picking a team leader.” She returns to brushing her hair. “Why? What’s the Italy project?”
“Something I thought we put aside for good,” he grumbles. “It’s a year-long overseas project in Milan. Rhys thinks it’s gonna bring in a shit ton of money.”
“Sounds big. What do you have to do with it, though?” She’s never heard of Cassian being involved in Night Court’s international operations, even though he takes on more work than the usual employee.
Cassian shrugs, going back to movie searching. “He wanted me to be the one leading the team, and I guess he still feels petty about me turning him down. Honestly, choosing team leaders outside of my department isn’t even part of my jurisdiction.”
Nesta hesitates. “He offered you the job? When?” She didn’t know this.
“On New Year’s.”
“And you turned it down?”
“Yeah.” Cassian clicks on a link that looks like it’ll plant fifteen different viruses in Nesta’s laptop. “Found the movie,” he says.
“Why would you do that?” Nesta demands.
“The movie?”
“The job offer! Why would you turn down such a big opportunity without even telling me?”
Cassian laughs in confusion. “Are you angry right now?”
She’s astonished at his nonchalance. “Cassian,” she says. “It’s Italy.”
Italy with the art and history and seaside beauty—it’s on their top five places to see before they die.
“It’s Milan,” he says like there’s a difference, “and it’s an entire year away from you.” He shakes his head, sitting up to face her. “Are you out of your mind?”
She goes still. “Don’t tell me you said no because of me.”
“Of course I said no because of you.”
“It’s your dream job!” she bursts. “Traveling, exploring, being on your own—”
“Those are our dreams. I made those plans with you. The hell am I supposed to do all the way in Italy without you?”
“You sound codependent,” she retorts.
He narrows his brows. “Like you wouldn’t do the same thing in my position?”
He’s right, of course. Nesta would do the exact same thing for him. But Nesta and Cassian are not the same, and they both know it. “You can’t make that comparison,” she sighs.
“Why not?” he demands.
“Because—” She struggles to put it into words. “I would give up a long distance job for you because it would be worth it. You’re worth it. It doesn’t work the other way around.”
“Again: why the fuck not?”
So he’s really going to make her spell it out. “Because you’re a good boyfriend. You’re affectionate and caring, you always go the extra mile for those you love, and you come with all these free perks. It’s a great deal. And I’m not anything terrible, but I’m the bare minimum compared to you. Why would you give up Italy for the bare minimum?”
Cassian looks at her in disbelief. “I don’t even know how you can say so many wrong things in a row.”
“He’s blinded by love,” Nesta mutters to herself.
“First of all,” he holds up a finger, “I don’t know where you learned to compare yourself to me, but I don’t like it. You make it sound like I need to be paid back for every half-decent thing I do, and that is not the case at all.”
“Of course you think that,” she says. “You wouldn’t be a good person if you didn’t.”
“Then let me be a blunt person.” He puts a hand on her knee and looks her in the eye. “You will never be like me. Very few people are; you can’t take it personally.”
“Oh my god.” Her eyes might roll out of her head.
“But you’re not the bare minimum. Not even close.” He states it like an undeniable fact.
“How so?” she challenges.
“Like how Elain told me about this boy who broke her heart in her high school, and how the next day he walked into class in a leg cast. And how she just knew you had something to do with it, and you two had a huge fight about it that lasted a week.”
Nesta does not enjoy that memory being brought up. Elain called her a psychopath for the incident, and to save her feelings, Nesta (rather unconvincingly) said it had been an accident.
“I didn’t push anybody into a creek,” she maintains the lie. “Sometimes people just fall down there.”
“To be fair, you’re a lot more stable now than you were then. Now when people hurt those you care about, you find sneakier ways to hurt them back. Don’t you?”
“I do not,” Nesta defends.
“Really? Because Eris texted me earlier saying you’ve been ignoring him since New Year’s, and he’s starting to get worried that you have something heinous planned for him. I asked him why he would ever think such a thing of you.” Cassian leans forward and rests his chin on her shoulder. “Why would he think such a thing of you, Nesta?”
Cassian looks pretty well off from here, doesn’t he? She remembers Eris’s smug face. Did you know Rhysand’s parents found him sleeping in the streets?
“Because he said a bad thing,” Nesta says, looking down at her fingernails. “And I have an unfortunate reputation at school for getting back at people who say bad things.” Like the time Brian O’Connell made jokes about a rape trial the class was studying, and then couldn’t find an internship at a single firm the following summer.
“And what did he say? Because I can’t imagine he would directly insult you. He actually likes you, ass that he is.” His face is warm so close to her neck.
She looks away. “I won’t repeat it.”
That seems to be all Cassian needs to get an idea of what Eris said. “And how long are you planning on holding it against him?”
“Forever.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Nesta meets the eyes that haven’t left her face this entire time and snorts. “What’s your point?” Seriously, she’s starting to redden at how close he is.
He buries his face in her neck, his stubble rasping against the sensitive skin there. “The point is that you also do a lot for the people you love. Just in a different way.” He pulls away to look her in the eye. “Don’t do anything to Eris, though,” he says. “Not that I care for him or his shit opinions, but whatever you have planned isn’t worth it.”
Nesta wants to scoff in disbelief at the sincerity on Cassian’s face. He’s always choosing kindness, even at the worst moments. “So that’s your argument?” she says. “You won’t go to Italy because your girlfriend has a bad temper and a taste for revenge?”
“That’s my final argument, Your Honor.” He takes her hand. “Forget Milan, will you? One day I’ll take you to Portofino.”
The longer Nesta knows Cassian, the more she finds it useless to hide from him. Which is why she lets him watch the thoughts flit across her face as she considers his words, deciding whether she believes him. Deciding whether he’s right to give her so much devotion.
“Fine,” she finally says. “You’re right.”
A slow smile spreads across his face as he realizes he won. Wrapping his arms around Nesta’s waist and legs, he hauls her into his lap and shifts around until they’re both comfortable. The movie is forgotten for now.
“Out of curiosity…” He noses at the nape of her neck. “What did Eris say about me to make you so angry?”
When Nesta doesn’t answer, he says, “I’ve already heard everything that could possibly be said. The shit that used to get me when I was eighteen doesn’t have the same hold on me a decade later.”
She lets herself relax into his hold. “It was about the time you spent as an orphan.” Technically, he’s still an orphan, but it was different back then. “I didn’t like the tone of his voice.”
Cassian’s answering hum is a low rumble against her shirt. “Did you know my biological father was from Italy?”
Nesta perks up at that. “No.” She assumed he was entirely Algerian, even though he and Azriel probably look ethnically ambiguous to most. “Isn’t that all the more reason to see Italy someday?”
“Not at all,” he says. “If I could pretend that half of me didn’t exist, I would.”
She can’t think of a response that doesn’t involve a question, so she doesn’t reply. She waits for Cassian to speak on his own terms.
“I went to Italy once,” he admits. “For less than a day while my brothers were partying in Monte Carlo. I was young and stupid, and thought I would never be complete if I didn’t know who my father was.”
“Who was he?” She doesn’t know why she’s whispering.
“No one worth remembering,” Cassian says, his arms unconsciously tightening around her. “I put some dots together and realized how he and my mother must have met, how he must’ve—forced himself on her, and I decided that I didn’t care about bloodlines at all. I never returned to Italy after that.”
Nesta’s hands want to reach out and touch him, soothe him. But her muscles are suddenly very cold, and she can only stiffen. “And what about now? Do you… not want to go back?”
“It’s just a place to me,” he says. “Nothing special, nothing terrible. But I like the way it sounds when you talk about it.” His eyes sparkle. “I’d like to pretend it’s my first time going with you.”
“Alright, then.” She nods. “One day, we’ll go together. It’ll be our first time.”
***
Cassian refuses to let Nesta leave bed the next morning, dragging his heavy mouth across her body whenever she tries to get up. She’s about to surrender to him altogether when her phone starts vibrating loudly, insistently.
Breaking away from Cassian’s attempt at cuddling, she answers without checking the caller ID. “Yes?” she croaks sleepily.
“Where the hell have you been?” Emerie demands.
Nesta shoves Cassian away despite his protests, untangling her legs from the sheets. “At home,” she says, getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom. “Am I supposed to be somewhere else?”
“We haven’t seen you in two weeks,” Emerie says. “Gwyn thought your boyfriend’s weird family killed you.”
“That’s not what happened,” Nesta assures, pulling her shorts down and sitting on the toilet. “I just needed some alone time.” People are all around her these days, it seems. Her body still can’t quite adjust to it.
“Well, have you had enough—are you peeing?”
“Yeah.” She wipes and flushes the toilet.
“Well, clear your day and kick your sorry boyfriend out of your place. I can’t remember the last time I went out.”
“Why does everybody always want to go out?” Nesta says as she washes her hands. “What’s wrong with staying in, being safe, never leaving the house?” She dries her hands on a towel and returns to the bedroom, where Cassian is now sitting up and checking his emails.
“You’re preaching to the choir, but this actually wasn’t my idea,” Emerie says.
Nesta and Cassian alert at the sound of a knock from the front door. Nesta never has uninvited guests.
“Hold on a second, Em,” she says, jogging up the short set of steps to the door. She opens it to the sight of an exasperated-looking Gwyn.
“Jeez, next time send a text that you’re alive, will you?” Gwyn says, shoving past Nesta to enter the apartment. “Do you know how worried I’ve been—” She halts midsentence, one foot hovering above a step as she realizes that Nesta isn’t alone. As she sees Cassian in her bed, bare-chested and highly amused.
“Hey.” He raises a hand in greeting.
Gwyn pales.
“Hello?” Emerie calls over the line.
“You girls both share the same brain,” Nesta sighs. “Let me call you back, Emerie.”
Gwyn whirls around just as Nesta hangs up. “That won’t be necessary,” she says quickly, looking embarrassed. “I’ll be outside. I’m sorry.”
She hurries out of the apartment even faster than she came in, ducking her head to hide her face.
Nesta tosses her arms up in the air. “Great,” she says to Cassian. “Your abs scared her away.”
“But I didn’t do anything—”
She shuts the door behind her as she follows Gwyn outside, barefoot and all. She barely notices the freezing cold air or the awful press of damp grass beneath her feet as she catches up to Gwyn and grabs her elbow. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Gwyn jerks suddenly, yanking out of Nesta’s hold. Her breathing seems a little shallow, and she looks even more embarrassed for it. “It’s nothing. I just didn’t know you had someone over.”
“Cassian? He’s cool, you don’t need to be weird about him,” she tries to reassure Gwyn. “Though I did use to tell him that not everybody wants to see him shirtless all the time.”
“It’s not that,” Gwyn says, waving her off.
Nesta gestures to the apartment. “Do you want to come back inside, then? I’m sure he has clothes on by now.”
Gwyn clears her throat uncomfortably and looks down. “I’d rather not. I’m—I don’t like being around men.”
Nesta pauses, not sure if she heard right. “Like, in a ‘check the backseat of your car before getting in’ way, or…?”
“No, like I can’t be alone in a room with a man without feeling sick. It activates my fight or flight, it’s weird.” She’s carefully stiff, like she’s ready to be met with humiliation.
Nesta remembers that Gwyn has never told her about her therapy sessions before, but she knows they’re more intensive than her own weekly conversations with Lana.
“Not that I think your boyfriend is a bad person,” Gwyn adds when Nesta doesn’t respond. “He looks really nice. He sounds nice, too.”
But Nesta doesn’t care about any of that. Unsure of what to do next, she reaches out and awkwardly pats Gwyn on the arm. “Good thing you’ve never been to the cabin, then. Cassian’s brother is staying…” She trails off when she realizes none of this is relevant. “Why are you here so early?” she asks instead.
Gwyn eases up a little at the change in subject. “I missed you. We’ve barely talked since Christmas.”
Nesta didn’t realize people would take such notice to her absence. “Yeah.” She flushes. “I do that sometimes. I’ll send a message next time I go into hibernation, though.”
“You’re freezing,” Gwyn suddenly scolds, noticing how Nesta’s goosebumped arms are wrapped tightly around herself. She unzips her red hoodie and shrugs it off. “Go back inside and get dressed.” She flings the hoodie around Nesta’s shoulders before Nesta can protest. “Meet me at my car. We’re hanging out.”
Nesta knows that a last minute change of events is not the end of the world, even if it sometimes feels like it. For Gwyn and Emerie, she can bear the discomfort of unexpected plans, same as she does for Cassian. But she at least has to know: “How long will we be out?”
“You can come home after lunch.” At Nesta’s face, Gwyn adds, “Lunch will be at two and shouldn’t take more than an hour.”
Looking her friend up and down, someone who has such an easy time understanding her, Nesta nods in satisfaction. She turns around to go back inside.
***
They end up at the library where Gwyn works, in the stacks of the long-abandoned encyclopedia section.
Emerie takes a loud sip from the huge McDonald’s soda she snuck in. “So all this show was because Gwyn didn’t want to work her shift alone?”
“I just have some last minute cleanup to do,” she hisses for the third time, shoving an old book back where it belongs. “Go to the porn section if you’re so bored here.”
“Oh, I definitely will,” Emerie says. “But I’m glad that we’re congregating now, even if it’s in the most depressing part of the library. I have a present for you girls.” She hands Nesta her drink so she can dig around in her purse.
Nesta personally has no complaints. The library is quiet, it smells of paper and old ink, and it holds all her favorite books. It’s almost better than staying in.
Emerie successfully pulls out a handful of folded and wrinkled papers from her bag, smoothing them out as best she can. “One for each of us,” she says, passing the papers around.
Nesta takes her paper and stares at the header. Gwyn is the first to speak. “Pole dancing classes?”
“Why?” Nesta says.
“Well, I originally offered them to Justinian and Isaac but they said no—”
“It’s really not for me,” Gwyn interrupts, trying to pass the registration form back to Emerie. “Sorry.”
Nesta doesn’t give her form back.
“Look,” Emerie says. “I get the hesitation. We’re a handful of boring bitches who hate having fun. But don’t you think that has to change at some point?”
“I’ve known you guys a month,” Gwyn retorts. “We’ve only been boring bitches for a month. This is too much.” She turns to Nesta for help.
Nesta is still staring at the paper. Dancing—on a pole, yes, but it’s still dancing. “I’ll do it,” she says.
Gwyn looks betrayed and Emerie looks elated. “Really?” She hops up and down. “That’s two against one, Gwyn. You have to do it, too.”
Gwyn’s cheeks are turning red in frustration. “You can’t just force this on me—”
“Gwyneth,” a sharp voice interrupts their conversation. Nesta spins around to find a young woman with dark skin and bleached white curls heading in their direction, a stack of books in her arms.
She halts before Nesta and glares. “No food or drink in the library.” She looks pointedly at the 32-ounce in her hand.
“It’s not mine.” Nesta shoves the drink back to Emerie.
But the librarian has turned to Gwyn, who hides the dance class form behind her back. “And what are you doing here?” she demands.
“Just putting up a few books, Merrill,” Gwyn answers quickly.
“While socializing?” the woman named Merrill sneers.
“We were just asking for help finding the romance section. Is that a problem?” Emerie crosses her arms and steps forward, letting a little of her beautiful deadliness slip into her stance. It’s the deadliness of someone at the top of her law class, someone who will graduate in a few months with all the power she could want in the palm of her hand. Nesta gets a rush from playing the lawyer game, too, but she’s never had the kind of ambition that Emerie has. Emerie is a shark sitting around in a small pond.
Merrill is not impressed. She snatches the styrofoam cup dangling from Emerie’s hand and tosses it in the nearby trash can. She turns back to Gwyn. “Hand your badge over and clock out.”
“But I’m not done yet—”
“Now.”
“Okay,” she squeaks. She pulls her ID badge off her neck and hands it to Merrill.
Nesta gapes in disbelief. Before she can speak up, Merrill says, “No loitering in the library. If you don’t have anything you need to check out, leave.” With one final judgmental look, she turns down an aisle of dusty books and disappears.
Gwyn makes a face at her back.
“That woman is not old enough to be acting that misanthropic,” Emerie says after Merrill is gone.
“Whatever,” Gwyn mutters. The registration form is still in her hand. She crumples it into a ball and throws it into the trash. “Let’s get out of here.”
Nesta stares at the trash as Gwyn turns to leave. “Coward,” she says.
Gwyn’s head snaps toward Nesta, her auburn hair swinging. “Excuse me?”
She shrugs. “You heard me.” Emerie’s eyes bounce back and forth between the girls.
“I did,” Gwyn says. “I was just making sure this wasn’t coming from the woman who would sooner bite someone’s head off than do something she doesn’t want to.”
“Girls,” Emerie snaps before Nesta can bite back. “It’s just a stupid dance class. I thought it would be fun to do together, but it doesn’t matter anymore.” Taking Gwyn by one arm and Nesta by the other, she starts steering them out of the stacks like a stern mother. “Now let’s go eat. I’m fucking hungry.”
Gwyn’s mood from the library doesn’t recover, even as they sit down for lunch at the local diner. Nesta thinks Gwyn might actually be sick when the male waiter winks at her while taking her order, and it’s not until long after he’s gone that color returns to her face. When their food arrives, Gwyn only picks at her plate.
“What’s wrong?” Nesta finally has to ask bluntly. “You look pukey.” Did the coward comment affect Gwyn more than she let on, or was it Merrill’s attitude that threw her off?
At Nesta’s words, Gwyn becomes even more pallid. “I just don’t feel great today,” she murmurs, looking around like she’s seeking a way out of the diner. “Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to be such a buzzkill. Maybe I should go home early.”
“Absolutely not,” Emerie says. “If you’re going home, we’re going home with you.”
Gwyn bites her lip, trying to decide if she wants that or not. But something about her antsy demeanor is too familiar to Nesta, because she says, “If you really want to be alone, do you mind driving me home first? Emerie’s car is a mess.”
“You just need to move around a few papers,” Emerie protests.
But Gwyn nods distractedly, already gathering her things. “Sure, no problem.” They pay the bill and go their separate ways.
During the ride home, the sky that’s been gray all day finally breaks open, unleashing a spattering of rain over the town. Nesta watches it sprinkle while Gwyn drives in silence.
“Why are you scared of Merrill?” she eventually asks. “She doesn’t look much older than you.”
Gwyn snorts, but there isn’t much heart to it. “Merrill is my superior, but I can handle her on most days.”
“Just not today?”
Gwyn eyes Nesta warily from the corner of her eye. “No, not today. Or this week.”
Nesta chooses not to push. The dull metal of the cars surrounding them glints under the rain, and they arrive at a red light.
After a minute, she takes a breath and blurts, “I’m not always like that around guys, you know.”
Nesta watches her closely, remembering how ghostly she seemed around Cassian, then the waiter. “Keep going.”
Gwyn stares straight at the traffic ahead, her fingers turning bone white on the steering wheel. “I’m just going through a hard period. Everything upsets me and I don’t know how to think straight. It’s like my brain accidentally traveled to the past and now it’s stuck there.” She sounds shaky, breathless, and it makes Nesta wonder what exactly her mind is experiencing.
Nesta knows what it’s like to be unable to move on. Her own brain has only recently started looking toward the future. “Where are you stuck, specifically?” she asks hesitantly. Maybe she can help Gwyn navigate her way out.
Gwyn’s chin quivers. “In a dark room.” Her lips form a tight line. “Being held down. I’m outnumbered.”
Nesta’s stomach turns. “How far back is it?”
“Two years,” Gwyn whispers. “Lately I can’t even look at anything without—remembering it. Thinking about it. Every time I feel like I’m moving past it, I end up being wrong.”
The light turns green, and Nesta puts a hand on Gwyn’s knee in an attempt to ground her. “Drive,” she commands softly.
Gwyn presses down on the accelerator, but Nesta can feel her leg trembling beneath her hand. She squeezes her knee hard. Even with the dark parts of her own past, Nesta has never felt what Gwyn is feeling right now. So she tries to stick to what she knows.
“It’s like you said,” she says carefully. “You’re going through a period where your brain isn’t being friendly to you. It’s horrible, but you can live with the knowledge that it’ll be over eventually.”
Gwyn shakes her head, holding back tears. “It doesn’t work like that. Once it goes away, it’ll just come back again. And it’ll be like that for the rest of my life.”
“You’re right.” Nesta doesn’t have a solution for that, and she hates it. “You’ll never forget. You can be at the peak of your life and still remember all of it. But,” she says slowly, “whether you reach a point where it barely fazes you, or if you keep crippling under the weight of it decades later, you’ll still be normal. You’ll be a perfectly normal human.”
Gwyn lets out a tearful laugh at that. “What does that even mean?”
Shit. “It means…” Nesta tries to explain herself better. “In case you’re worried that there’s something very wrong with you, I’m here telling you that there’s not. There will never be anything wrong with you.”
Gwyn eyes her skeptically as they turn onto a residential road. “Even if I never get past one nightmare I lived years ago? Even if that nightmare defines me until the day I die?”
“That won’t happen.” Nesta’s tone is simple, factual. “But yes, even then.”
“Really? You’re not gonna tell me to live for the better days or whatever?”
“Does that sound like something that would help you? Because I can say it if it does.”
Gwyn snorts. “No.” But her limbs are steady and her eyes are clear on the road. She clears her throat. “Thank you for listening. I think I might feel a little better now.”
“Was it because of what I said?” Nesta tries not to be too hopeful.
“I wouldn’t give you that much credit,” Gwyn says, crushing her hope. “But I’m glad I told you. It makes things…a lot easier for me.” She exhales deeply.
“You know my plate is mostly empty these days.” Nesta pats her knee. “That means I’ll always have room to help carry your shit.”
They pull up to Nesta’s apartment, and Gwyn parks at the curb. “Give me your dance class thing,” she says suddenly.
Frowning, Nesta pulls the wrinkled paper out of her purse and hands it to Gwyn.
Gwyn smooths it out on the steering wheel and grabs a pen from a cupholder, clicking it. “If you’re going to help carry my shit, I guess I have time for pole dancing now.”
“But that’s mine,” Nesta protests as Gwyn starts filling out the form.
“It can be both of ours,” she says, writing Nesta’s name under hers.
“Really?” Nesta grins with an excitement that she doesn’t easily feel. “You’re going to do it with us?”
“Why would I let you do it without me? So I can become the third wheel in our girl group?” She gives Nesta a look that says No way in hell.
Nesta rolls her eyes. “That would never happen to you.”
“Sure,” Gwyn drawls. She finishes the form and folds it in half before pocketing it. “I’ll give this to Emerie as a gift.” She leans over to peck Nesta on the cheek. “Now get home. Love you.”
Nesta turns red at the words and coughs. “Thanks for the ride,” she responds, getting out of the car.
“Say it back!” Gwyn calls after her. But Nesta shuts the door in her face and waves, pretending she can’t hear her. Gwyn mock-scowls at her through the window, but lets her off easy and drives away.
That’s enough feelings for today, Nesta decides. Even if her chest is swelling with emotion for her friend. It’s a sweet hurt that lingers long after she returns to her empty apartment.
***
a/n: i’m back in my no plot, just vibes era
taglist: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes
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gb-patch · 4 years ago
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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1
It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.
Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!
Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.
Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!
Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!
Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?
Either way is ok, I’m just curious!
I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.
Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?
Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.
¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 
Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.
Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 
How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.
Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 
Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.
Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 
It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.
HELLO AMAZING DEVS ���� i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 
Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.
Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 
Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.
Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 
Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.
will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 
It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.
Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 
Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.
Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 
For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.
Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 
We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.
So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 
Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.
Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.
Keep up the amazing work! ♡
Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.
Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 
I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.
Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!
Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 
I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!
Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 
The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.
Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 
Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.
Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 
Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.
Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?
After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.
Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.
She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.
Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀
It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.
—– —– —– —–
We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
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trueka · 3 years ago
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Hi! Idk if you’ve answered this already but how did you come up with the concepts for Venus and Juno and your other oc worlds ? Like what were your main inspirations behind it and the worlds around them ? They’re so nostalgic and seem well thought out and planned with so many different components if that makes sense! ❤️
hi sorry for answering so late!!! tysm for thinking that abt my ocs even tho i feel like i barely share anything about them🥲 the different worlds are all kind of like different aspects of myself and my interests combined in various ways. i tried to break it down under the cut but it ended up rambly sorry !! hopefully i answered ur question
tldr: i came up w them based on my interests and background
VENUS & JUNO
everything about this concept is super self-indulgent. as i've said before i really enjoyed things like w.i.t.c.h., winx, totally spies, barbies, bratz, dress-up games, ppgz, polly pocket, etc. growing up
when i was in 4th grade i even came up with a whole multiplayer online game where you could customize and play with this cute alien pet thing. and literally the first time i ever used a credit card was to buy a membership for cartoondollemporium so i could get access to the cuter clothes. like i loved pretty things and still do, and indulging in that with venus & juno w/o any restrictions makes me happy, so yea. a lot of this concept is inspired by things i still enjoy from back then combined w everything that i enjoy now as an adult
the fashion aspect is especially self-indulgent. i just wanna draw cute ppl and making everyone in the universe dress like that on the norm gets rid of the need to explain why i put characters in the clothes they wear lmao. like yes the outfit doesn't make sense for the character but it's just how they all dress dont worry abt it
i really love how space (specifically the planets) looks too, and i was always super fascinated by supernatural/mythological stuff so i combined them. they're supernatural/mythological creatures who look like aliens. alien-esque demons. the planet they're on is still earth (or is earth-like) but the colors arent normal and 70s interior design is everywhere cause im obsessed w that era. so it's sorta like hell on earth except pretty. might have nine circles but not sure about that yet
OR aliens are demons and hell is a parallel universe planet. i'll think on that
here's a pinterest board of the setting
i also like michiko & hatchin and the animation sequence in kill bill, and ik i haven't really taken it there yet in my art but from the beginning i always wanted to make the story with vibes like that. something serious. and i literally posted a wip of venus on top of juno with their tits out so. definitely higher-rated, just w fun colors
im sorta approaching this concept thinking it'll be a video game. like the bratz diamondz or barbie fashion show ds games but it's a story-based action-adventure fighting game ...might sound ridiculous but i really want a hyperfeminine video game where i can kill so here's that
so this is my thought process for all of that. idk if i touched on everything but yea!
FEVER DREAM
i grew up in home that was both catholic and buddhist (but mainly the former). as i got older, i was more analytical. my interest in religion grew from a more philosophical standpoint. like i got super obsessed with it. even took a philosophy of religion class. paid for that shit
there's a lot of reasons as to why, but ultimately i really liked exploring the relationship between deity and man. the whole concept of "fear of god," the ultimate reality, what makes a human, all of the moral philosophical debates. i also love the paradox of, because you can think of something, it exists, but it exists because you thought of it. idk if my explanation made sense but it's all really cool to me.
from here i thought exploring religion from a horror lens would be super fun, and then came the main plot of the story (which has been reworked like 5 times now; more times to come lol). ofc i didn't wanna deal with like. actual religions tho so i came up w fake gods and then decided to just throw in supernatural stuff cause it's fun, so that's how that aspect of the world came about
i was also taking a psychology class at the time this concept was first being thought up, so there's some psychological concepts about deja vu and dreams in there too just bc i experience deja vu a lot (like i'd dream of something and then it'd happen years later irl. i'd get deja vu and then remember i dreamt of it). thought it'd be cool to have that as a major component of the concept so yea
and im super into the aesthetics of baz luhrmann's romeo + juliet and thought it'd be cool to combine it with the small town horror/suburban gothic feel so that's where i plan on taking it aesthetically. kinda like a beachy horror town. like on a super hot day u feel like the sun's trying to kill you but what if it really was... that was a stupid example but u get what i mean
also was into those horror puzzle youtube videos coming up with this. forgot what they're called but yea those were inspirations too
i say all this but im rly not smart enough to make it good so 💀it will j be staying in my mind
SAIJA (NAME TBD)
again... fascination with gods. this time i approached it from a more eastern angle with the whole balance and nature thing. set in a southeast asian-like area because i'm vietnamese, time era uncertain. inspired by samurai champloo, atla, mushishi. if it were animated it'd be animated like flcl and episodes would be set up like nge. this one's the least developed, so there's not much to say about it yet
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flamingo-writes · 4 years ago
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Heat Waves — Rohan x Reader
Summary: Rohan can’t believe the amount of detail and effort put into the little present you had for him. The amount of love and admiration swelling in his chest drives him to show you how grateful he is in the most tenderof ways. 
Authors Note: This fic is named after the song that got me in the mood to write this, it was also the song I heard to the most while writing/proofreading this. Heat Waves by Glass Animals Why are glass animals songs so sexy aaaaaah
Fun fact: the reader's stand's name is based of this same band.
Word count: 2.8 words
Genre: tender fluffy smut
Warnings: NSFW
Date: nov.29.2020
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Rohan was speechless. 
He never thought he'd be falling this hard for someone. And yet, with each new day, you made him fall more and more in love with you. How did you do it? He didn't know. And he didn't want to know either. For once, he didn't want to know the answer behind a question. He wanted to keep it a mystery, and keep the magic going. 
"You like it?" You whispered as Rohan gaze went around his room, noticing every small detail of your installation art. 
Your name escaped his lips in the dreamiest of whispers. 
"This is gorgeous..." He said breathless. 
Several pieces of glass hanging from the ceiling. White and yellow and even golden stained glass hanging from threads from the ceiling. From any point in the room, they just looked like pretty pieces of glass hanging, but in front of Rohan's bed, you could see the real thing the stained glass was painting. 
Heaven's Door. 
Rohan felt so flattered, not only you managed to make an installation art of his Stand, but the tones in the glass were beautiful. The sunlight shining through, only reflected the light in the walls, painting his room in warm golden tones. 
Rohan turned around, his heart beating excitedly on his chest. Oh, how bad he wanted to kiss you. How bad he wanted to hold you, and make you feel as good as you had just made him feel. 
"Babe, this is perfect. I love it" He whispered cupping your face in his hands, and brushed his nose against yours. 
Just how you loved it. 
He still couldn't understand how you hadn't grown tired of him. Everyone did. And to be fair, he did grow tired of everyone else. He liked to hang out with a few people every now and then, but never for too long. 
Not you. 
You leaned closer, pressing your lips against your boyfriend's in a soft melting kiss. A soft melting kiss that soon left Rohan breathless and wanting more. 
When he met you, sure he thought you were pretty. And whenever you both turned out to be at the coffee place at the same time, he'd sketch you from afar as you studied. But that was it. No other interest other than sketching you sparked from him. At least at first.
This, however, changed slowly over the weeks.
One time, you were leaving as he was walking in. In a clever attempt, taking advantage of the close proximity as you brushed your shoulder next to his, he thought of using Heaven's Door to try and peek into your mind. 
Though, he was surprised to find out you had a Stand yourself. A Stand that reacted instantly and stopped Heaven's Door. 
Rohan's hands moved down your sides, wrapping them around your back and squeezing you tightly against him, as his desire rose, wanting to feel you closer. The sweet moan that escaped your lips when he squeezed you, only fed his hunger. The heat rising between both your bodies pressed together.
You broke the kiss, resting your forehead on Rohan's cheek as you both caught your breaths silently.
"Im glad you liked it" You whispered. 
Rohan and you turned back to look at your sculpture, as the sunset shone through. The light reflected around the room, and Rohan's usual dark bedroom now looked golden. It was beautiful. The way Heaven's Door sculpture seemed to shine like the sun itself, white and yellow tones blending in all the corners of his room. The pieces of glass moving softly with the delicate evening wind coming from the window in a coordinated delicate dance. The soft clanking adding a gentle orchestra to the once silent room.
Rohan couldn't stop staring at the glass. 
The Glass. 
It had been a sudden, very thick, yet transparent glass what had stopped Heaven's Door from peeking into your mind that day. A glass that had come out of  nowhere, standing between the both of you. 
As Rohan's eyes caught a glance of what had happened, he saw a silhouette standing behind you. A tall, android looking figure standing behind you. A figure made out of glass. 
It was called Glass Animal. And it could create glass of all shapes, sizes and colors. It was for the most part, a stand meant for protection, since you could control how thin or how thick the glass was. 
However, the way you used your stand, was quite creative. Only adding to Rohan's new acquired interest in you. You used Glass Animal as a useful tool for your art. The news of you being an artist like him pushed him into developing feelings for you.
The installation art standing in front of him had come from Glass Animal. He had been there when you gathered the glass you used for Heaven's Door. And god, you looked so sexy that day. 
Rohan turned back, looking at you, and without thinking it twice, he kissed you passionately. The memories playing in his head as how the both of you became closer and closer with every passing day. How in the beginning you didn't quite like him. 
After the Heaven's Door incident. It took you a while to warm up to him. Mostly, your curiosity, since it wasn't until then that you noticed how much he frequented the coffee shop, and how he was always sketching. 
Rohan pushed you gently on the bed, as your heart skipped a beat, knowing where this was heading. 
You had been dating for almost 3 months, and you hadn't gone around it. Sure, you had come into his room before, made out, felt each other's skin, but it had never come down to it. Today it felt different. The looks he was giving you, the way he seemed completely enamored by your work, the golden tones adding to the atmosphere. It all made sense to you. It was crystal clear that Rohan wanted to finally cross that milestone with you. 
It was two days ago when Rohan arrived to your place, no plan made beforehand, he just wanted to take a break from his work and spend time with you and relax for a while. 
You were in the backyard, Glass Animal in front of you, materializing walls of glass in front of you. Several walls, all of them thin, all of them in very different colors. 
"What are you doing now?" Rohan asked,  walking towards you, noticing the menacing baseball bat in your hand. 
By this point, he knew you liked art as much as he did. However, your specialty was clay sculpture and installation art, glass being your first choice material for your installations. Something that didn't surprise him whatsoever.
"I got an email from City S's University, and they want to see my portfolio. I never take pictures of my work, so, I'm gonna be making installations like crazy and taking pictures" 
That day, Rohan watched you break glass like a psycho. The fact that you were wearing short shorts and a tanktop while breaking glass in the middle of the summer evening, scared him a bit. 
Swinging your bat far more violently than necessary, a thin layer of sweat shining on your skin, as the sun shone bright and strong in the middle of the sky. Glass raining all around, as the sunlight reflected everywhere as you fearlessly watched the glass jump everywhere. In the meantime, Glass Animal gathered all the broken class in a pile behind you as you kept breaking wall after wall.
Part of your stand's abilities included that you couldn't get cut by glass, which conveniently allowed you to break glass as if it were nothing.
Convenient. 
It was all too convenient. The setting, the gesture, the mood. Rohan had been craving this moment, and he wasn't going to let it slip. It just felt right. 
The way your skin got covered in goosebumps as soon as he crawled on top of you amused him. 
He whispered your name once more as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. 
Resting his weight on his elbow in the matress, his other hand quickly explored your skin underneath your shirt. Roaming the territory he knew all too well but was eager to finally claim as his. 
A loud  moan escaped your lips as his hand found your boob and squeezed it after teasingly running his fingers over your nipple. 
"Rohan..." You gasped.
Oh, how sweet your voice sounded. So needy and yet so sweet. It only fueled him to keep teasing you with his free hand. 
Little by little, clothing began to decorate the floor of Rohan's room. The both of you drowning in the echoes of each other's name, desperate moans and sweet nothings. 
Arousal becoming painfully evident as you took your time pleasuring each other with your hands and mouths. Anticipating what came next, eager to get fully lost in each other. 
Rohan's breath was still agitated from having you sucked him off. However, he was still so terribly turned on, and still desperate. The sight of you swallowing his cum, followed by your fingers cleaning the edges of your mouth before licking them clean was too much to bear. 
"Fuck, come here, darling" He whispered as you crawled on top of him. 
His hand went to the back of your head and pulled you in for a kiss. His togue quick to tease your lips as you rested your weight on him. His other hand held on to your waist, as he swiftly managed to flip you over, leaving him on top, and your legs around his waist. 
He jerked his hips, as you felt his erection hot against your wet entrance. You moaned into his mouth. The hunger urged Rohan to make his way inside you already, but not yet. He cared about you, and felt the excitement built in his chest. He wanted to do this with you, god, how bad he wanted it. But he wanted to make it right. 
“Rohan…” Your voice felt gentle, too gentle. He felt you had touched his heart with your words alone. “Rohan, I want you so badly” 
The consent he was about to ask for came out of your swollen lips in a desperate moan. A chill ran down his back, as he positioned himself. 
“You do, baby girl?” His voice came out deeper than earlier, it was almost delirious. You arched your back and nodded. 
“Yes, Rohan. Please” 
The young artist smiled and leaned closer, kissing you. A tender delicate kiss. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer, feeling his chest pressing against yours. 
Slowly, Rohan jerked his hips, finding his way between your folds, going deeper. A whimper escaped your lips, your fingernails clawing on his shoulders as he went deeper and deeper, stretching you out. Finally, the whimper turned into an echo of his name, followed by a breathless gasp. His chest puffing with pride, he moaned your name back as he kissed your cheek and your neck. 
He began rocking his hips, slowly at first. Savouring every inch of your clenching wet walls. God, this felt as addictive as very few things in life. You felt perfect. Your voice, the rise and fall of your chest, Rohan feeling your heartbeat against his chest, the blush, the sweat. Not only it was adorable to watch you lose yourself around him, it was all so erotic. 
He remained going at a slow pace, mostly enjoying the way your body reacted to him. Arching your back, sometimes moving your own hips to make him go even deeper.
“Rohan, faster, please” You begged.
“Such an impatient little girl, aren’t you? I’m taking my time with you, doll” 
He pulled back, almost pulling out and went once more, deeply inside you. Painfully slowly. The way your back arched, and your cries became needy. The way your tone began rising slowly. He had already made you cum twice while eating you out, he was noticing the pattern in your voice as you got closer to your climax. He chuckled, and bit your neck gently. You gasped. Your fingers clawing on his skin once more. Rohan smiled against your skin. 
“You like that, don’t you? 
“Ye-yes” You said breathless. 
Rohan’s pace sped up, but not significantly. He was breathing deeply and steadily, trying to keep himself from going feral, since he wanted to enjoy his first time with you. The times he had been with other women, it was mostly to satisfy his curiosity and occasional needs, but he had never been with a woman and felt this intimate before. He never felt the need to slow down and savour everything his senses could detect.
But you were a different story. He wanted to make you feel as good as he felt. He wanted to make you addicted to him.
You lied in a melodic mess. Like an orchestra, filled with tiny details, all of them delighting Rohan. You were just too good to just have sex with you. No. He had to savour you all, hear, touch, see. For the first time, he felt the need to satisfy your needs rather than his own. Hearing your voice get progressively higher, as you continued to twist and shake underneath him with every deep thrust, the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and the blush on your cheeks accentuated how you felt. It was something beautiful. Right now, you looked like the best piece of art he’d seen. The best piece of art he’d made. 
He had made a mess out of you. And what a satisfying mess. 
Feeling your walls clench around him tightly, as you screamed his name. He liked it. He couldn't help himself but speed his pace, each push stronger. Your moans got louder, as he rode you through your orgasm, feeling like every inch of your body was aching in the most delicious of ways. 
An echo in the shape of your name escaped through Rohan’s teeth. 
“Fuck, you feel so good” Rohan purred hissing your jaw. You slowly regained consciousness of your surroundings, feeling overwhelmed by the overstimulation and Rohan's faster and stronger pace. 
“Ah, Rohan” You said, cupping his face in your hands and bringing him closer, kissing him. “Rohan, cum inside me” You moaned, as a chill ran down his back. “Please” 
“You sure about that?” Rohan purred against your ear. 
“Ye-yeah. Don’t worry, I’ve taken my precautions” Your voice, lust dripping from it made a chill run up and down his back as he, for a second, felt like he was dangerously close to cumming on your command. “Rohan, I want you to fill me up” 
“Fuck, babe. You’ll make me last less than I anticipated” Rohan growled.
“Would it be too bad?”
“You are mine, babe" Rohan's green eyes stared into yours as his pace sped up suddenly "All mine. Only mine” 
You cried out in response, your nails digging into his back.
With his heart beating fast in his chest, he felt dizzy with everything about you. Drunk on your scent, your touch, your sounds. His pace was growing erratic, as your voice got louder and louder, each moan higher and louder. His climax starting to condense in his belly, as you kept reacting as delicious as ever to his touch. Your grip on his skin became stringer and stronger. 
Boy, that blissful moment. It felt ecstatic. Filling you up, as you screamed his name, nails clawing to his back. One last push, goinf as deep as he could, as he came. The idea of cumming inside you, filling you up like this fed his ego. Having you in a twisting mess underneath him fed his ego as well. 
You looked so beautiful like this. 
As Rohan caught his breath, he kissed your face with soft kisses, as you purred his name, followed by sweet nothings. 
"Rohan, I—I...I really enjoyed that" You gasped breathless, as Rohan slipped out of you. 
"I know, babe...I noticed" He murmured resting on top of you, snuggling his head underneath your neck. "I did too…" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, one of your hands caressing his hair.
"I noticed" 
The sunset now long gone, the golden tones now replaced by a pale blue light. Streetlights coming from the window, as the hanging glass made its job and reflected it all around the room.
Your breaths echoing softly as the world came back into focus,  as the both of you lied still breathless and satisfied.
Rohan was the first one to break the silence.
"Stay here tonight. Please?" 
"Anything you want, my darling"
Rohan looked up, resting his weight on his elbows before leaning closer and kissing you in the most gentles of ways. A slow, tired and breathless kiss, reflecting everything he felt for you. 
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kaepopsicle · 4 years ago
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nct mbti types redo!
the old one can be found here! but i definitely recommend this one more tehe!
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hi hi! so i know most of you know about mbti or myers briggs personality, if you don’t well. . here’s a little summary! if you already do know go ahead and scroll down past the keep reading to find ncts types! now for those that don’t and want to know it’s basically when you take this quiz and you get four/five letters, each giving you a detailed description of your personality! it helps you find other people with the same personality and people you are compatible or not compatible with! of course it is all just for fun! but i know some people take it seriously! do whatever feels right to you! so moving on to the different letters; there are 4 different letters you can get! which leads to about 16 different outcomes! (there are also 2 extra letters! A & T which are basically the outlook on yourself! but not that many people actually go by those!)
- first there’s E & I (extrovert & introvert) this is basically what your energy level is. E- you get energized by people and are more social. I- you get drained by people and are more homebodies.
- second there’s N & S (intuitive & sensing) this is basically how you understand or learn about other people! N- you base off of your gut feeling or instincts when you first meet someone! more observant! S- you are more logical, analytical, you get to know people a little first before you decide!
- third there’s F & T (feeling & thinking) this is basically what it says! how do you respond to problems! F- you think with your heart! more empathetic and emotional! T- you think with your head! more logical and emotionally intelligent!
- fourth and last one there’s P & J (perceiving & judging) and this is basically on how you prefer to live your everyday life! P- more spontaneous go with the flow! you don’t like schedules very much and tend to go with your gut on things! J- more neat, more punctual! you like routine and for things to go as planned!
also! you can be a mix of these! (for example i am an enfp/infp! so am an mix of extroverted & introverted!) you can pick one that resonates with you most or if they both do go by both!
well that should be all of it! if you want to take the quiz then you can find it right here! now that you know a little bit about what it is! let’s get into what ncts types are! i split them up between the two biggest differences which are introverts vs extroverts! :))
— introverts
confirmed types: infj . isfj . isfp . infp
other introverted types: intj . istj . istp . intp
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- infj
members that are confirmed infjs:
ten . jungwoo . mark . hendery . winwin . half jisung
members i also think are infjs:
no one else
common traits include: creative . empathetic . friendly . intelligent . private . overthinkers . artistic!
most compatible with: enfp!!!! . infp . enfj . other infj
our most popular type! (which is great bc it’s my natural partner ;)) infjs or also know as the advocates are highly artistic and creative people! they appear at first to be very quiet and sensitive! but when actually they’re quite intelligent and are observant, peaceful, friendly people!
“With their strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding, INFJs can be soft-spoken and empathetic. This does not mean that they are push-over's, however. They have deeply held beliefs and an ability to act decisively in order to get what they want. While they are introverted by nature, people with this personality type are able to form strong, meaningful connections with other people. They enjoy helping others, but they also need time and space to recharge. While this personality type may be characterized by idealism, this does not mean that INFJs see the world through rose-colored glasses. They understand the world, both the good and the bad, and hope to be able to make it better.”
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- isfj
members that are confirmed isfjs:
doyoung . jaemin
members i think that are also isfjs:
yuta . half johnny
common traits include: protective . compassionate . sees the good in others . sensitives with others emotions . warm hearted
most compatible with: esfp!!!! . estp . istj . & other isfj
this type is one of my personal favorites! the defenders! they are the type of people who will have you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk! they may seem a little cold at first but once they trust and open up to you they are so warm! and loyal! very puppy like!
“They typically want to work hard, get along with others, and make sure they do what is expected of them. ISFJs value relationships highly and strive to cooperate and maintain harmony with others. They want stability and longevity in their relationships, and tend to maintain a deep devotion to family. They feel most connected with people they know they can rely upon over the long term. ISFJs appreciate tradition and like knowing how things were done in the past. They are loyal to established methods and values, and want to observe the proper, accepted way of doing things. They place great importance on fitting in with established institutions and contributing what they can to maintain strong, stable social structures. In groups, they often take on the role of historian, ensuring that new members respect and value the established customs.”
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- isfp
members that are confirmed isfps:
taeil . jeno
members i think that are also isfps:
shotaro
common traits include: independent . imaginative . creative . passionate
most compatible with: esfj!!!! . esfp . isfj . other isfp
the next type is the adventurers! they are curious and passionate people that are very drawn to the outside world and helping others! they are gentle and sweet :)
“ISFPs are gentle caretakers who live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. They are flexible and spontaneous, and like to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer. ISFPs are quiet and unassuming, and may be hard to get to know. However, to those who know them well, the ISFP is warm and friendly, eager to share in life's many experiences. ISFPs have a strong aesthetic sense and seek out beauty in their surroundings. They are attuned to sensory experience, and often have a natural talent for the arts. ISFPs especially excel at manipulating objects, and may wield creative tools like paintbrushes and sculptor's knives with great mastery.”
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- infp
members that are confirmed infps:
chenle . half jisung
members i think that are also infps:
taeyong
common traits include: peaceful . idealistic . open minded . seek harmony
most compatible with: enfj!!!! . enfp . infj . other infp
the next type are the mediators! i love this type (not only bc im half this type) but bc this type is really the most pure and deserves the entire world. they are curious and flexible people!
“Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.”
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- istp
members who are confirmed istps:
none of them
members who i think are istps:
renjun
common traits include: practical . creative . rational . spontaneous
most compatible with: entp!!!! . estj . intp . other istp
these are the virtuosos! this type are relaxed! very down to the grown, they are the type of people you want to have during an crisis, they are good at calling the shots and keeping everyone calm!
“Virtuosos love to explore with their hands and their eyes, touching and examining the world around them with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. People with this personality type are natural Makers, moving from project to project, building the useful and the superfluous for the fun of it, and learning from their environment as they go. Often mechanics and engineers, Virtuosos find no greater joy than in getting their hands dirty pulling things apart and putting them back together, just a little bit better than they were before.”
— extroverts
confirmed types: enfp . esfj . esfp . estp
other extroverted types: entp . enfj . estj . entj
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- enfp
members who are confirmed enfps:
xiaojun . haechan
members who i think are also enfps:
no one else
common traits: energetic . fun . kind . very popular & friendly
most compatible with: infj!!!! . infp . enfj . other enfp
these are the campaigners! (my other personality type) these types are the kind of people you want to be friends with, they keep the energy happy and fun, but also know how to listen and relax
“Campaigners will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn’t always where independence-loving Campaigners want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. Campaigners’ self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role.”
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- esfp
members that are confirmed esfp:
half jaehyun
members who i think are also esfp:
lucas
common traits include: bold . aesthetic . confident . inclusive
most compatible with: isfp!!!! . isfj . esfj . other esfp
this type are known as the entertainers! the whole world is their stage! these people are not only eye catching and well entertaining, they are sweet and have good sportsmanship!
“Entertainers love the spotlight, and all the world’s a stage. Many famous people with the Entertainer personality type are indeed actors, but they love putting on a show for their friends too, chatting with a unique and earthy wit, soaking up attention and making every outing feel a bit like a party. Utterly social, Entertainers enjoy the simplest things, and there’s no greater joy for them than just having fun with a good group of friends. Though it may not always seem like it, Entertainers know that it’s not all about them – they are observant, and very sensitive to others’ emotions. People with this personality type are often the first to help someone talk out a challenging problem, happily providing emotional support and practical advice.”
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- esfj
members that are confirmed esfj:
kun
members who i think are also esfj:
half johnny
common traits include: supportive . encouraging . caring . positive
most compatible with: isfj!!!! . isfp . esfp . other esfj
this next type are called the consuls! known for their very parent like demeanors, these are what you call your “mom/dad friends” the ones that will give you the best advice and always be a shoulder to lay on and always cheer you on at your worst!
“People who share the Consul personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular – which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the population. In high school, Consuls are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their teams forward to victory and fame. Later in life, Consuls continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.”
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- estp
members that are confirmed estp:
half jaehyun . sungchan
members who i think are also estp:
no one else
common traits include: social . perceptive . original . direct
most compatible with: intp!!!! . istp . entp . other estp
these are the entrepreneurs! the people that know what they want in life and will and have the stamina to do so, they are natural born leaders and enjoy calling the shots! and expressing their big ideas!
“Entrepreneurs always have an impact on their immediate surroundings – the best way to spot them at a party is to look for the whirling eddy of people flitting about them as they move from group to group. Laughing and entertaining with a blunt and earthy humor, Entrepreneur personalities love to be the center of attention. If an audience member is asked to come on stage, Entrepreneurs volunteer – or volunteer a shy friend.”
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- entp
members that are confirmed entp:
none
members who i think are entp:
yangyang
common traits include: quick thinkers . knowledgeable . charismatic . energetic
most compatible with: isfp!!!! . intp . esfj . other entps
the last type we will be talking about are known as the debaters! this type are the kind that could go for hours discussing important topics to them! they are quick witted, and are good at coming up with things on their feet. intelligent and resourceful, these types make excellent lawyers
“No one loves the process of mental sparring more than the Debater personality type, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. Debaters are the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. They don’t always do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, though. Sometimes it’s for the simple reason that it’s fun.”
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- wowowowubsy, this was a really long post! thanks for making it to the end! what do you think about their types and do you have any other ideas what types the remaining mystery members are? thank you so much for reading! :)
- my thoughts are that there is not a single introverted thinker on this whole team! (renjun i have hope in you!)
- and the fact there are only 1.5 confirmed thinkers in an group of 23- how do they manage ???
- sorry sungchan & jae
- they really are a bunch of introverted feelers goodness gracious
- also literally my pictures ran out half way through it and it won’t let me delete them lmao so sorry about that
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papers4me · 3 years ago
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Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)
Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.
Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:
I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.
I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.
Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.
1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:
Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!
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There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:
Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.
Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.
Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.
Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.
Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..
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I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?
2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:
so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.
If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...
Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:
Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.
I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.
I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!
Katsuya:
had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.
Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!
The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.
Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.
Side Notes:
The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.
Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.
You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~
I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.
I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~
kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.
I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.
I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....
“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.
the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD
Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.
Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.
I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.
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golbrocklovely · 3 years ago
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It sucks but im pretty much over Sam and Colbys content. Im over the paranormal direction they took as well. Not only are they not professionals and are pretty much winging every investigation, but every person they take on these trips except for maybe Steve and Dylan, have way less experience than them and they want to claim every little thing is paranormal and call themselves mediums. It gets annoying, and actually they are getting known in the paranormal investigation community for being over the top and not taking things seriously.
Ive seen two lives from different paranormal researchers/mediums with big followings and both have said they know of them, believe they have gifts, but wont work with them. Then you have Kat thinking her gate opening before she hit the clicker was paranormal, Her friend thinking her curtains being open was paranormal, and celina thinking someone ringing her doorbell but not seeing anyone was paranormal. Kat and her friend even claim its sallie when they werent part of that. Its just a big joke now/ trend same as everyone getting into music and wanting to publish a poetry book. Between them overreacting at everything and constantly bringing friends who are way worse at this, im done.
that's totally understandable. if you're not interested in what they are doing anymore, then not watching them would probably be the best for you. don't watch content that annoys you.
sam and colby have a weird nack for somehow pissing off the communities they get into lol they did the same thing to the urban exploring community back in the day.
personally for me, i understand that they are amatuers and to not lead by their example if i ever plan to investigate. the thing with snc is that they are entertainers first, and then investigators. plus, i do think a bit of their detriment comes from dealing with someone who believes in the paranormal fully (colby) and then having someone that's mostly a skeptic/just wants the machines to show proof (sam) AND THEN the both of them for whatever reason not believing ppl that have been in the field longer than they have been alive. not to mention, but they overreact 90% of the time, so as time has gone on, their evidence seems less and less interesting since they have the same reaction to a floorboard creaking as they do the estes method.
but i think something we should all realize is that snc are extremely new to this and have basically dived headfirst into a kidding pool. they only started doing paranormal investigations back in 2019, and those were garbage comparatively to what they do now. they have gotten better, but i do think they have a lot more to learn when it comes to investigating if they plan to stay in this line of work.
and when it comes to the ppl they bring on, kat and stas bringing up those examples as "paranormal" are most likely joking. i don't think they are trying to say "every bad thing in my life is bc of sallie". i think it's just a joke. and celina has been doing paranormal stuff since before snc so... again, i think it's the same thing with her. making light of the paranormal isn't meant to bring disrespect to those that do this profession or to make fun of those that take this seriously. i don't think any of them are trying to be disrespectful or make this all out to be a joke.
if snc are just following a trend, i don't think that's wrong either. if them investigating and bringing their friends out and having ppl watch their content makes ppl think deeper about their lives and realize there is more to life than what we are experiencing first hand, then i'm all for it personally. if this is how someone becomes more spiritual and explores that side of themselves, then what's wrong with that?
and the same thing can be said about creating art randomly when a person didn't seem interested before. as someone who has been in the arts her whole life, i don't see the problem with someone wanting to express themselves thru art, even if it's bc of a trend. yes the market is oversaturated, but that doesn't mean i'm allowed to stand here and say that your art is deemed useless bc it's ~trendy~. if someone releases a shitty poetry book, then they do. worse case someone reads it, doesn't like it, and moves on.
i think at the end of the day if snc aren't entertaining you anymore, then go watch something that does. there is definitely someone out there that is less annoying that you will love lol
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akvtsuki-ari · 5 years ago
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Sweetheart (Ch.1)
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Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader 
Length: 5.3k 
Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk  but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that
Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted
Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.
It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.
It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.
Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part. 
Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.
Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.
It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately. 
So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks. 
It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.
USERNAME: DOC187 
SUB/ SWITCH / DOM 
M / F / O
FETISHES: N/A
BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.
Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.
Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.
USERNAME: MISS—LILAC
SUB / SWITCH / DOM 
M / F / O 
FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things. 
BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.
Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.
DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.
Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.
MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?
Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.
DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?
MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.
Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.
DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.
MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.
Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.
DOC187: What kinds of questions?
MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.
Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.
DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.
MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.
Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.
DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.
MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?
Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.
DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.
MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)
Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.
"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.
"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.
"Lovely to talk to you doc,"
"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.
"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"
"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.
"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.
"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.
"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.
"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.
"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.
"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.
"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.
"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.
"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"
"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.
"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.
"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.
"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.
"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.
"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"
"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.
"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.
Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon
_____
"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.
"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.
"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.
"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.
"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.
"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.
"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.
"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.
"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.
"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.
"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.
"That's tough, Spence,"
Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.
Y/N 🌸: *image attachment* 
Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33
Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.
"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.
"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.
"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.
"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.
"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.
"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.
"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.
"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.
Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.
Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.
Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?
Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.
"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts
"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.
"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.
"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.
"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.
"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.
"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.
"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"
"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.
Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love
Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.
Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life
Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.
Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.
Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?
"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.
"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.
Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one
Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.
Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.
Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc. 
Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way. 
___
"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.
"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.
"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second. 
"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.
"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.
"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.
"No, why?,"
"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.
"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.
"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.
"Yeah?"
"I really like you,"
____
Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.
"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)
"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"
"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?,"  You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.
"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."
"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"
"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.
___
Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.
The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.
The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.
The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.
"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.
"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.
Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.
The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.
"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.
"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.
"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.
Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.
Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.
"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.
You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.
"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.
"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"
"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.
"What're you worried about?,"
"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you  to continue.
"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.
Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.
"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.
"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.
"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.
"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.
Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.
His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.
"You're cute baby,"
Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.
You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.
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maxbegone · 4 years ago
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IT’S FINALLY HERE!
In an effort to spread some love to the fanfic authors in the Schitt’s Creek community, this post is a compiling of some of our favorite fics! Thank you to every single person who decided to participate in this dedication of love! And to the fanfic authors out there - thank you for being so wonderful and sharing your stories with us! Here’s to many more countless hours of reading - day or night! 
There are repeats! I understand that may seem a little redundant, but I wanted everyone who participated to share their favorite fics regardless of repetition, author, pairing, AU, size, etcetera. 
A very special thanks to everyone who participated! 
@bestwisheswarmestregards // @brighter-than-sunshine  // @danieljradcliffe @darnitdraco  // @imargaery  // @justwaiting23  // @leopxld-fitz // @lickrustdavid // @loveburnsbrighter // @oceanavinfinity @poorguysheadcanon​ // @ratchet // @roguebabyinyourstore @stuck-on-your-heart // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @vulcantastic​ @wlwbaudelaire​
I’m going to go ahead and put everything under the cut, because this should be quite a long post! 
**If there are authors on tumblr whose handles were not properly added, please send me a message!
@bestwisheswarmestregards​
Fic 1: Ace Of Hearts by loveisallyouneed21
Why I like it: It is just really sweet and made me really happy. Plus I like seeing Patrick as an asexual being one myself. I don’t see a lot of ace characters in the media so seeing someone portray Patrick, a character I love, as one makes me really happy. 
Fic 2: An Unexpected Arrival by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: It was one of the first fics I read in this fandom and I fell in love with it. Plus the Brewers are in it and I love anything with the Brewers. 
Fic 3: Hammock by @maxbegone​ 
Why I like it: This fic makes me so fluffy inside. Early morning and snuggles are one of the best combinations. 
@brighter-than-sunshine​
Fic 1: Your Wings Prepare To Fly by @icmezzo 
Why I like it: I’m not the biggest fans of AUs/ Fantasy takes on fics, but the characterization of David and Patrick is so good here. It’s such a beautifully written fic, and I just couldn’t get enough of it when I first read it! A definite reread.
Fic 2: Today and All the Days that Follow by @unfolded73​
Why I like it: This one is one of my all-time favorites, because it explores so many of the relationships between all the characters… I especially love the bits including Stevie and Alexis. 
Fic 3: Little Reminders of our Love by @justwaiting23​
Why I like it: The whole idea of David and Patrick leaving each other notes was too adorable not to recommend this fic!
@danieljradcliffe​
Fic 1: Watching Through Windows by @helvetica-upstart​
Why I like it: Some fandoms have those fics that just inevitably change the game and define what fanfiction can be and for me, this is that fic for Schitt's Creek. It is a staple that everyone's read and continues to talk about and recommend a year after it was published; I'm sure we will continue to talk about it for years to come and to recommend it as new folks come into the fandom.
Fic 2: Until Now Gives Way to Then by swat117 
Why I like it: I just read this one-shot recently thanks to your (feel free to edit this how you need for your post) recommendation of their other fic, 'Exposed Brick.' This is a fic that (for me) completely captures why David and Patrick fit and work so well together and how their pasts have made it possible for them to be who they are as a couple in SC. I haven't read another fic that resonated with my own interpretation and appreciation of their relationship as much as this one. This author truly and completely sees them for all that they are.
Fic 3:  Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​  
Why I like it: I saw this fic published earlier this year and wanted to read it so badly but figured I should read the source material (Red, White, & Royal Blue) first so I did and absolutely fell in love with that book (who wouldn't?). I attribute this fic for inspiring me to read Casey McQuiston's book and so when I went to finally read it, I had extremely high expectations and even still, this fic exceeded them. The author does an amazing job of incorporating aspects of the original book (RWRB) while keeping the story true to the characters and relationships we know and love in Schitt's Creek. I read the entire fic in one sitting and then instantly, read it again. It is laugh out loud funny while being romantic as hell and keeps David and Patrick incredibly in-character throughout.
@darnitdraco​
Fic 1: Red White And Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth​
Why I like it: this fic is the reason I bought Red White and Royal Blue. Going into the fic, I didn’t know what the book was about so it was all new to me but it was great nevertheless. Now that im almost finished with the book, I love this fic even more. I know its an AU but I think the characters are written well and I pretty much love any fic when Rachel isn’t made out to be the bad guy. Its 13 chapters and I will 100% be rereading it after I finish the book. 
Fic 2: Nothing Burns Like The Cold by @wildxwired​
Why I like it: This is a one shot and definitely Patrick Centric. I thrive on Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I personally feel like it is Patrick coming to terms with a things he didn’t have control over and him getting closure on things of the past. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot but please read this guys!! 
Fic 3: sometimes good things fall apart by @blueink3 
Why I like it: I have reread this multiple times and it gets better each time. Its only 4 chapters but it isn’t rushed. As I said above, I THRIVE on angst and hurt/comfort. This has both, AND protective Patrick. It is a spin on what could’ve happened after the barbecue and it has a happy ending so don’t worry.
@imargaery​
Fic 1: Dodgeball is f*cking stupid by alldaydream
Why I like it: This is a one-chapter piece that comes in just under 6k and yet the author manages to build a super rich AU experience and tell a complete story that is at once heart-wrenching, sweet, sexy, and thematic. If you want angst that doesn’t last too long, that leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, this is the one-shot for you. I go back to it as much as I go back to some of my favorite D&P scenes from the show.
Fic 2: if not for you by goingmywaydoll
Why I like it: When it comes to fanfiction about our boys, there’s almost nothing I love more than a high school AU. This is that. But it’s also a ROAD TRIP. What better scenario is there for a slow burn, mutual pining, dialogue heavy love story with plenty of bed sharing and nobody bothering them?
Fic 3: Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate
Why I like it: Can you tell I love a good AU? This one’s about the Olympics and it imagines a world in which Patrick and David have already fallen in love, had a relationship, and have broken up. This is a story about them finding their way back to each other--which isn’t hard because they have to be around each other all the time and work through their issues. It’s written with grace and thoughtfulness, and walking with Patrick and David as they learn to communicate with one another and work on healing makes the reunion that much more satisfying.
@justwaiting23​
Fic 1: hit me with your best shot by @ignisgayentia​
Why I like it: This is a bit of a random one but it has stuck with me ever since I read it. It’s a short little AU about David and Patrick meeting at a baseball game where Patrick is one of the players. It’s really sweet and does such a great job of keeping the voices in character, especially with the flirty teasing and awkwardness and is one of those fics I go back to over and over again.
Fic 2: Spills & Thrills by storieswelove
Why I like it: This is one in a series of ‘Meet-Uglies’ that the author has written which I adore but it’s my favourite one out of them. It has the perfect mix of awkward interactions which make you cringe and also really sweet and fond moments between the two of them.
Fic 3: You Can Plan on Me by odofidi
Why I like it: This is a sweet little piece of marital fluff about the first Christmas after the wedding. It fits exactly with my idea about what married life would be like for them and is really sweet, plus I always love it when the Brewers are able to see Patrick so genuinely in love with someone like that so it’s definitely one of my very favourites.
@leopxld-fitz​
Fic 1: best wishes, warmest regards (sent with confetti effect) by reymonova (costiellie)
Why I like it: This fic is just pure fun. The character voices are always perfect, and it’s such a nice addition to the series. This story is full of incredible one-liners and I think about “th*nk y*u” at least once a week. A must-read for anyone who loves a good Stevie-David friendship moment. 
Fic 2: Going Down by @concannonfodder​
Why I like it: This is a perfect AU. Rich David? Check. New York? Check. Patrick’s gay awakening? Check, check, check. This fic feels as real and in-character as any canon events of the show, and the author does an incredible job at lining up a love story for the ages all over again under completely different pretenses. Plus, who doesn’t love a “stuck in an elevator” trope? I would watch 10 movies based off of this.
Fic 3: I’ve Never Liked A Smile As Much As I Like Yours by hagface
Why you like it: I live for college AU’s, and this one doesn’t disappoint. I love how the author repositioned characters and events for a new setting, and David as a picky art major is all I ever could have hoped for. Character interactions are pitch perfect and there’s a true “paint me like one of your french girls” pining moment that was truly glorious. A great read!!
@lickrustdavid​
Fic 1: Tonight I’ll Drift in A Dream With You by torakowalski 
Why I like it: It’s rare to find such a well-written fic with a great family dynamic that makes you feel like you’re almost just reading a script for the actual show instead of an idea. There’s something soft and comforting about reading cohabitation with Alexis and David and Patrick doing there own things on separate sides of the motel room. 
Fic 2: A Week with the Brewers by @justwaiting23​ 
Why I like it: The dynamic with David and the Brewer’s is genuinely authentic and it’s made me flash back to some of my own experiences with partners parents. The fact that Patrick’s totally willing to have sex while his parents are there while David is mortified at the idea is also great and realistic. I feel like this fic also shows how partners grow and learn to communicate with one another and trust them. 
Fic 3: Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why you like it: The concept of David being more included in the whole Cabaret experience was something I definitely appreciated, since during the show I was kind of bummed with the lack of him. Stevie is wonderfully written in my opinion, and I really liked Patrick going on dates with the choreographer and watching David figure out how to cope. 
@loveburnsbrighter​
Fic 1: Small Projects by GCLane
Why I like it: My ultimate comfort fic.  Soft relationship feels and loving, passionate discussion of fiber arts, plus nuanced discussion of coming out and fitting in and what it means to be queer.  Also David trying new things and doing his best, which is also fun (he learns to knit!)
Fic 2: You and Me and This Temptation by @leupagus​
Why I like it: Another comfort fic!  Musician Patrick/manager David.  It's funny asf and super sweet at the same time.  Plus it does justice by Rachel, and made me totally love her.  Also, I was never sold on AUs of any kind and this is the fic that converted me.  I re-read it when I need cheering up and it never fails.
Fic 3: The Moment I Touched Down by rockinhamburger
Why you like it: Patrick learning about David's past and being the sweetest most sympathetic bean :(. This one is full of tragic backstory and good emotional hurt/comfort.  Super cathartic to read, and it makes me want to wrap David and Patrick both in big hugs and protect them from the world.
@maxbegone​
Fic 1: my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3
Why I like it: This was the first fic I read since coming into the fandom. It’s canon-divergent, which, as it turns out, I kind of love. It’s so beautifully-written; a story about David meeting the Brewers much sooner than he anticipated, under unforeseen circumstances that take Patrick back to his hometown - and David is right along with him. And just like in every universe, Marcy Brewer is an angel.
Fic 2: Cleanser by @cypress-tree​
Why I like it: Hello and welcome to my comfort fic! This is just the most soothing story. It’s my wind-down fic, and every single time I read it, it makes me want to do my own in-depth skincare routine (that I already do morning and night). But it’s not just about that - it’s about Patrick taking a look at his identity as well. It’s all so tender and sweet, and so intimate in its own lovely way. David pampers Patrick a little bit and shows him that “femininity” and “masculinity” do not have rigid divides. And the first time I read this, I was wearing a mask from LUSH.
Fic 3: keep my spirit strong, you do by fishypots
Why you like it: Content warning; eating disorders, food issues. This hit me square in the chest. It resonated with me in a way I knew it would but struck so much more within me. By the end of it, I was smiling because of how represented I felt. I know this is a difficult topic for some, but I needed to share this fic. As someone with dysmorphia and struggles with disordered eating, it was such a comfort to read about David, who is a character so vulnerable and his partner who doesn’t pester him with questions. Instead he listens, he does a little research (it’s Patrick, of course he does), and remains by him. It’s all written so realistically and tenderly, and without any jabs or awkward nods toward body image. This will forever be at the top of my list.
@oceanavinfinity​
Fic 1: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by ladyflowdi, ships_to_sail
Why I like it: It is a work-in-progress au set in Paris during WWII. Patrick is a soldier on leave, and David is a gallerist who sailed to France to help Alexis (as usual). The characters are so, so true to canon, and the world building of Paris in that era will whisk you away from your current place. I love it.
@poorguysheadcanon​
Fic 1: bright lights by falconeggs (series)
Why I like it: my favorite schitts creek fic is definitely the series “bright lights” on ao3!
@ratchet​
Fic 1: In the Temple of Artemis by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: This story has Stevie exploring (with some help) the identifier of Aromantic after navigating what she thought were her romantic feelings for David. Really sensitively written, with a scene that almost perfectly puts into words my feelings about David & Stevie’s soulmate-esque relationship.
Fic 2: David Rose, Your Husband Is At Guest Services by @patricksdavid​ 
Why I like it: Husbands! At Costco! Giant muffins and comically large bags of doritos! 2071 words of pure domestic fluff! What more could you ask for?!
Fic 3: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it: Okay so. This is very new as part of the Reel Fic Fest, but I needed to include it. I love Wild, both the book & movie, and I am very much a “deal with my problems by hiking/biking in the forest” so this spoke to me immediately. Patrick and David meet as strangers hiking 1500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s nature, pining in nature, tent shenanigans, tent emergencies! Stevie being an excellent friend from afar, a cribbage board, journaling, secret trail register entries, David in flannel, and an ever-present toque. It’s just a really satisfying and calming 30k words with literally 2 characters. I read it twice in 12 hours.
@roguebabyinyourstore​
Fic 1: Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman 
Why I like it:​ I like a good AU as much as the next person, but this one is just STUNNING. The descriptions of the pain and struggle endured by both men, both physical and emotional, was vibrantly visceral. David and Patrick’s relationship bloomed organically and you are hooked on their journey through the wilderness as they grow closer and eventually fall in love. Plus it’s Patrick’s POV. What’s not to love?
Fic 2: Getting Over Getting Older All The Time by Distractivate  
Why I like it:​ You’ve heard of slow burn? Well meet glacial burn. This masterpiece takes us through 10 years of friendship, of missed opportunities, of pining and heartbreak. But most importantly it shows what we all knew - David and Patrick will find their way to each other regardless of time and distance. Also Patrick’s POV, I sort of love Patrick Brewer.
Fic 3: You Could Be The One by bigficenergy 
Why I like it: ​I have a soft spot for early relationship David and Patrick. But almost no fic does it quite like this. This fic highlights points from our boys’ developing relationship scored by the incomparable Carly Rae Jepsen. This fic is so true to the characters, their voices and their story, that it’s all one giant headcanon for me. This fic is part 1 of a larger series and I highly recommend all of them.
@stuck-on-your-heart​
Fic 1: a kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )
Why I like it: This was the first multi-chapter fic I read when I joined the sc fandom, and I hadn’t read fic of any kind in over a year. It’s a brilliant story where Alexis stars in a reality-dating show. All the characters are portrayed so perfectly in this fic, and you can hear their voices in every piece of dialogue. It’s sweet, it’s hot, it’s everything you could want in an AU. This story helped me fall in love with fic again so it has a very special place in my heart. 
Fic 2: Rose’s Eleven by leupagus
Why I love it: This story honestly feels like a movie. I know the concept is based on a film franchise, but the writing in this fic is truly exquisite. It’s so complex and gripping, and there’s a heist which is always a good time. Despite the very different world these characters are in, they are still true to themselves, so it’s very exciting to see how they interact with one another in this universe. This is such a fun read from start to finish and just thinking about it makes me want to go back and read it again.
Fic 3: Simply the Vest by orphan_account
Why I love it: If you couldn’t tell, I’m obsessed with AUs. This fic is such a satisfying AU because it incorporates several tropes that we all know and love. In this story, Patrick is an FBI agent, and he has to go undercover as David’s boyfriend. So right off the bat there’s fake dating! And then it has pining because our boys are dumb! AND THEN it has a little smut if that’s your cup of tea. And while all this is happening, Patrick is being capable and looks very dashing in his FBI vest.
@thisbuildinghasfeelings​
Fic 1: Happy to help by @vivianblakesunrisebay​
Why I like it: This was the first Schitt’s Creek fic I fell in love with when I started exploring what was out there after bingeing the show for the first time. It’s basically a deep dive into Patrick’s POV from Motel Review through Grad Night. It really helped me appreciate Patrick as a character when I was fairly new to the show. I think I formed a lot of head canon regarding Patrick’s life and backstory based on the things I enjoyed in this fic. And it’s just incredibly well written.
Fic 2: turn down the lights, turn down the bed by @hudders-and-hiddles​ ( @wild-aloof-rebel​ )
Why I like it: I love this take on David and Patrick remaining just business partners until Rock On. I can be a bit of a canon purist, so I’m really picky when it comes to AU fic. However, there are actually quite a few I enjoy in this fandom. My favorite thing about this one is that it has the exact right amount of angst, to the point where it’s almost physically painful, but in the best possible way. Especially because you know how it’s going to end. This is angst with a happy ending executed perfectly. And it’s so good that it holds up to multiple rereads.
Fic 3: my heart was broke, my head was sore by blueink3
Why I like it: Another canon divergent AU that I love. This one diverges from canon after Grad Night, at which point Patrick has to go home for a family emergency and David goes with him. What I really love about it is how it puts Patrick in a position to be truly vulnerable and gives David the opportunity to kind of be the strong one and really take care of Patrick. This is something we don’t get to see to this extent in canon until maybe Meet the Parents, so it’s nice seeing it here so early in their relationship. Also, it’s just so beautifully written.
@vulcantastic​
Fic 1: no other version of me i would rather be tonight by wardo_wedidit
Why I like it: I’ve always enjoyed the concept of love languages, and it was so sweet watching David do so much for Patrick to show he loves him. Of course, it stems from fear and anxiety that David isn’t doing enough for Patrick (especially with Alexis egging him on), which reads very realistically to me. I think we as the audience tend to forget that David  has never had anything like this before, has never experienced the love of someone like Patrick. He’s still learning how to accept that love and return it, in his own unique ways. This fic does a great job of examining that.
Fic 2: Exposed Brick by swat117
Why I like it: To me this is the perfect “Patrick and David visit New York” fic. Patrick is characterized so beautifully here; we not only see how he aims to please throughout his relationship with David but in his interactions with Rachel and his family as well. I imagine there was a lot left unsaid on the show regarding Patrick’s uneasiness about moving to New York and David’s ultimate decision to stay with him in Schitt’s Creek--this is explored wonderfully here. Plus, as a new New Yorker, it was really nice to read about all the iconic places in and around Manhattan.
Fic 3: we’ll take the world together by sonlali
Why I like it: I am a sucker for stories that examine David and Alexis’ relationship before the start of the show. This fic in particular is heart-wrenching, touching on the trauma both siblings likely experienced before we as viewers knew them. I love the idea of David as protector of his younger sister, and to see that sentiment returned by Alexis now that they have grown (physically and emotionally) while living in Schitt’s Creek is beautiful to read.
@wlwbaudelaire​
Fic 1: you’re my peace and my quiet by chocobos
Why I like it: This fic is just so soft and sweet and always puts me in a good mood whenever I reread it. It’s wonderfully written and I can truly see this as an actual scene in the show. 
Fic 2: Terrified But The Truth is This by ryry_peaches ( @loveburnsbrighter​ )
Why I like it: As someone who’s had a headcanon that David is autistic since I started watching the show, this was the first fic I saw pertaining to it. I was happy to see how well it was portrayed, especially giving how poorly I’ve seen fics portray autism in other fandoms, and it even made me see the episode “Girls' Night” in a completely different light. 
Fic 3: Putting Down Roots by @this-is-not-nothing​
Why I like it: Absolute domestic fluff is my jam and this fic delivers it and then some. It gives me everything I could want in a post-canon fic where David and Patrick are happily married and living in their cottage.
Again, thank you to everyone who made this post possible! I am so happy we were able to spread some love and cheer to the fic writers of this community! Sending so much love to each and every one of you, and I’m hoping this provides some new material for the community to discover as well! 
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