#im pandering to myself specifically

[velvetwyrme]

me while in the middle of writing like 4 other things: what if. soundwave/reader/jazz fic. what then.

[meccentric]

That is all helpful! I guess I was trying to be lazy about it by asking you. After thinking for a long time, that was kind of a shot in the dark. I've been in the fandom forever but haven't interacted with the original content at all in many years. Got so lost in my idea of these characters that I forgot where it all came from!

Your answer gave me some inspiration on what I could do to flesh him out more! I'm going to take your advice to heart, because it actually is really good advice. Thank you for your time!

Hey friend it's me again! I am writing fanfiction, but aside from not having done that in a while, I'm mostly concerned with how I portray Prussia. I value your opinion on that matter and so I thought maybe you could give me some pointers. It seems like he's your favorite character. He's not usually on my own radar but I'm writing this major story that features him as a main protagonist and I want to do him justice! Right now he's so bland as a character to me, it doesn't feel right :(

I'm not asking you to read my Fanfiction, but I'll send you a link if you're curious about what I mean :')

What characteristics are most important to you about him when you read fanfiction? Note: he's a young adult in the story

Thank you for your consideration! No problem if I don't hear anything back 👍

I don't know that you'll like this answer but it's my advice for anyone writing any character or relationship ever so i hope it helps:

Read the manga. Watch the anime. Dissect the character for what personality traits make them compelling or entertaining, what aspects make them recognizable outside of their context. This is how you stay in-character while writing aus, crack ships, or develop them through a story.

Next, read or watch absolutely anything else. What characters are similar? Why? What about *them* is compelling that builds on the characterizations you identified for, say, gilbert? Some of mine come from berserk, trainspotting, and wuthering heights. Yours should be different, or if theyre the same they should be things you already authentically enjoy. This is how you build on those bare bones with your own personal spin.

Lastly, take from real life. Who do you know that behaves in these ways? Why? What else do you know about their life situation, goals, troubles, etc. that leads to them acting this way? Whats their religion or philosophical standpoint?

I don't want anyone to write a character to my taste on purpose. I want everyone to write with intent and to put their whole pussy into it.

[copsecore]

my thoughts on the "fanon-isation" of sam (and his newest ba)

(taken from a long winded text conversation i had - slight NSFW talk below the cut) [WORD COUNT: 1047 WORDS, IM SORRY]

psa: while i am complaining about it, it's just my own thoughts, and none of which is an actual criticism of erik, feel free to add your opinions, as per the usual

Maybe its coz time is passing, and the relationship is developing but i feel like i’m enjoying the dynamic between sam and darlin’ a lot less than i did at the beginning. It feels a lot less “human-realistic” and more “tailored for fan preference” (you sam fans gotta hear me out on that bit okay).

Clearly erik isn’t “pandering” towards the fandom or anything, however there HAS been a change in sam’s writing that i don’t know if anyone else can see, or whether it’s just me.

 Fight me, but i feel like whatever’s happening to guy, the reverse is happening to sam. In the sense of where guy is gaining lore and becoming more plot relative, sam seems to be losing that position, which doesn’t cover all of my opinion, but it’s the simplest way i can think of putting it. 

He feels more “disconnected” as a character and I wish i could write this more specifically but there’s almost no “good” way of putting it, i’m just trying to put my vibes about this into readable thoughts in a way that’s somewhat well communicated.

It feels like he’s being diminished, where there’s less of the gruff dad-type personality, protective semi-asshole, gently-caring-in-a-non-tsundere-way, and a lot more “here’s your standard cookie-cutter southern bf who just so happens to be a vampire, however that’s essentially irrelevant because it’s never referenced in a way that’s plot-needed”. 

It’s quite flat and 2D now in a way that i can’t explain, so therefore don’t yell at me for saying it. While he’s still hot ofc, I don’t enjoy his character nearly as much as i did pre-quinn era, which is a shame because it’s difficult to let go of the fact that he’s one of my favourites, but the energy’s shifted and it’s “off” now. 

Maybe it’s because I’ve changed as a person in the last four years, which i know i have, but it doesn’t seem to be just character development, in the nicest way possible, it feels like he’s being written “out of character”.

Character development in any way is good, I’m a writer myself, I would know that, but those words aren’t what i would personally use to describe it. Forgive me, but i just felt like i needed to get everything out so i could see if anyone else agreed. 

You could say “it’s not that deep” but I’m autistic; this is my special interest, so as much as you can say otherwise, it is in fact “that deep” for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, i still thoroughly love sam as a whole, complete character, and the more recent videos that i don’t like as much could never take that away from me, so again, don’t come at me saying i’m “hating on him”, because i’m not.

This is as constructive of a “rant” that i can make it, and yes, my anonymous asks are turned off. I’m not gonna go on about how “i’m not criticising erik, BUT-” because if you know me at all, you’ll know i would never send hate towards him. 

With the “fanon-isation”, that’s just a word i threw out there to header this whole thing. I meant it mostly in reference to how a large part of the fandom seems to idealise or romanticise darlin’s character, and somewhat how that seems to be translating to the canon of their relationship with sam, and thus effecting him as well. But that wasn’t the right wording - the sam fangroup is big, and i’m already throwing myself to enough proverbial wolves as it is.

The thing that sparked all of this - and if you don’t have the patreon then you probably won’t know - is that Sam biting darlin’ for the first time happened in his most recent ba, which wasn’t something that i really liked. It felt weird to me that, even though it was fully communicated and both parties were okay, it would happen FOR THE FIRST TIME in a sexual setting. While it made sense for darlin’s character, it made less sense for sam’s.

 It also means that (at least as i’m writing this) the non-patrons won’t experience the very plot-important aspect that is sam biting darlin’ for the first time, considering how built-up it’s been throughout their storylines, it didn’t feel right.

It almost felt like the only reason the reverse-comfort audio even previewed for a ba was because THAT was the video that fell on release day. The circumstances just didn’t feel right for it, not given sam’s past and everything that happened in the quinn arc. 

i figured it would at least happen with a sit down conversation, in an sfw audio, even if it was ON patreon, but free. Of course - knowing darlin’ - it was going to be sexual at some point, but i didn’t think it would happen for the first time.

 I’m not going into any more specifics on the audio itself, but those are my thoughts on that bit. Sam bites darlin’, and i didn’t like it. My gripe is neither that it happened, nor that it’s not available to the public, but that nothing about the setting or the build up felt right, and it felt like it happened “just because”, which was a big let down for me, personally.

It wasn’t even the first time I’ve gotten the gist that something was “up”, THAT happened in sam’s hbs 2023 audio (NOT the ba, just the youtube access one) where it definitely felt more like “this is what the audience wants” because yes, who wouldn’t want to see a hot southerner get down and dirty in a club? But it didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but more so now it seemed like fandom influence of a sorts.

Almost like I was reading a fanfic or something that was posted on here (no hate of course, I would say my "platform" on here is mainly constructed of fan based content, just that it seemed more “headcanon-y” and less Just Canon) rather than something that erik himself wrote.

TL;DR: sam feels more and more “out of character” to me as a long-term viewer, and it all came to a head in the most recent bonus audio

[luckyshouse]

hi! im the asker of that not too vague not too personal question, haha. i did want to sincerely thank u outside of a like for responding and talking about it all; more is more, i'm so glad you had more to share!! i've only been able to understand or recognize my alters through fictional media, *ESPECIALLY* character tropes, like you mentioned?!!? it was basically the main tool i had that i could use to mentally cleave the concept of the alter apart from "me," which i also don't have a strong grasp of the desires/etc of, and when i looked around at typical experiences of fictives where they appear clear-cut instead of like blurry bundles of vague tropes and ways that a character acts, i felt for sure that i'd been misjudging myself when i used rules of thumb like "oh these tropes i'm exhibiting in this moment align with chara undertale, the character i bought a sweater to match with and act like, [X] is fronting, i guess??" -- the thing about kankri and having a "rule" about attractiveness hit too, in the sense that i couldn't have an alter from media i found too self-indulgent. this is a lot about moi you didn't need to know but genuinely. thank you for posting. thank you for making the art and the posts you do. i had no idea someone who i follow for it would make me have to sit with a disorder that a week ago i had completely tossed out the idea of despite also having the privilege of pretty persistent external validation from very obvious trauma. have a good one!

i'm so glad you were able to get help and gain something from my posts and art :') genuinely this is one of the sweetest things i've ever been told and i am so happy i could've helped. i understand completely, especially when i first started figuring out my system, i felt exactly like what you're describing. creating fursonas that embody those tropes have helped me so so much, but thats also because i at heart am a furry person. i have been making fursonas since before i could use the internet. and i think its really important that people talk about these things because DID is less so a specific set of rules that someone exists within and moreso a disorder that is extremely personalized to the person experiencing it. i think constantly about how DID generationally would portray in extremely different ways. someone with DID in the 50s is completely different than someone who has DID in the 2020s, because we have computers, we have new forms of media and entertainment and escapism. we have roleplaying and kinning where as a long time ago i'm sure systems were more focused on like television, or books, or spoken word. DID is a disorder characterized by completely dissociating from the body for extended periods of time, attempting to severe and fracture yourself when engaging with your body, but uiltimately, it is a disorder that is about being extremely abstracted from your physical self due to repeated and consistant trauma. i think its silly how people attempt to police how DID presents, becuase its like, how the fuck do you know someones "escapism" is wrong? you think theyre maladaptive daydreaming incorrectly? that doesn't make any sense. and i am so happy that i could portray other examples of DID so people know it isn't exclusively a one-model type of disorder.

this year has been really really rough on me, it's lead me to shedding a lot of things i considered core beliefs or held onto really tightly, due to nearly developing sepsis at one point and everything else going on in my life, i've decided that i'm trying to put all my effort into healing and learning who i actually am and who i want to be. i started making my art because i realized i was putting all of my energy into making art to create something for a bigger audience, and while that was helpful at the time, i want to create for myself. i want things i can be proud of not just because of the reception but because i internally feel proud and pandered to. im so happy my art means something to someone else

i hope you have a good night. :)

[hannie-dul-set]

heyyy

just read the breakup song and MAN😩😩. i'm in AWE with ur writing plsss it is illegal to be this good at it. writing smth svt related on tumblr was always on the back of mind but after reading ur fic, i sat down and started writing for god knows how long. i think i've found my element and its all thanks to u. the way u progressed through the story and the little bits that we saw about all characters gave the story so much dimension.. i finished it yesterday and still find myself going to reread it.. especially the intro meeting scene *mwah* i said the same thing under the post but im gonna say it again, THIS NEEDS TO BE A SHOW! i can see all of it playing out

also i wanted to ask u if u have any tips for very very newbie writers on here, especially svt content. like i said u inspired to start writing but find myself very confused at times, on making it look good and being able to reach many people

idk if ur still here but i wanted to say that i love u and ur writing and i'm in desperate need of more svt fics from u (wouldn't mind a reader or jeonghan pov of the closet scene iykwim) 💟💟💟💌

much love, love

HDHSHSJS THANK U FOR READING!!!!!

i don’t think i’m the best person to ask for advice from when it comes to writing on tumblr because i’m not on here frequently anymore 😭😭😭 and most of the time i just post whatever insanity my brain has conjured, which more often than not does fit within the standards of the kind of content that blows up on here (ahem, plotless smut, ahem). HOWEVER!!! if there’s anything specific you’d like to know/learn about fanfic writing and posting, i will try my best to help!!!

in terms of making fics look good n pretty, it’s always advisable to create a header that matches the vibe of the overall fic HAHAHHA the standard header formula on tumblr dot com is idol image + text (but as u can see.....i like to break that formula HAHAHAHAH) and make sure to use the appropriately spacings for ur text!!!

again, if there are any specifics that you'd like to get advice abt, feel free to ask more!! (with regards to reaching many people, i cannot impart any wisdom on that 😭😭 my fics generally do well because the following i've accumulated over the years even though most of the things i write don't pander to the general tumblr audience HAHAHAHAH i don't want to ruin ur creativity either by advising to write something that panders to that audience 😔😔).

anyway!!! thank u sm for the compliments!!! lovelots!!!!

[amourrs]

listen babe I’ve been following you since your very early obx fic days and let me just say i very much agree w you on this whole daddy/little kink regression issue.. like im highly aware that the nicknames “kid” and “daddy” amongst others have been used in media since the early 20th century especially as a girl who loves those types of media, and frankly has no issue with it when it’s utilized in a responsible/appropriate manner (excluding the nickname “dad” specifically, which ofc that’s a personal preference) … but we OBVIOUSLY have a problem w minors infesting the nsfw side of this website (which many smut writers already caution towards/complain about— not to say im in support of it whatsoever cause im 21 and have been on this app for a literal decade so ik how it affects the mind in the long run and am staunchly against that sort of activity but i digress) so i can’t help but find it quite hypocritical when coupled w the fact that some writers are utilizing language that obviously expresses a certain degree of naïveté and childlike thought processes/tendencies that can be triggering for some and if not can otherwise be interpreted as an expression of pandering towards pedophilic behaviors/thought processes, and i want to reiterate my point of it being the OVERALL language of some fics not just a couple nicknames so that no one misinterprets what i mean and gets their panties twisted. i, in fact, enjoy a little daddy/mommy kink here and there but the thing ab ddlg specifically is that it’s never even been considered morally “sound” in the first place and is generally held in regard as an unhealthy correlative coping mechanism in actual psychiatric and therapeutic spaces related to psychosexual tendencies, and I’m not referring to kink communities which are generally subjective in the first place and allow space for people to make excuses for themselves (quite literally majoring in this rn so y’all pls don’t try and come @ me im just reading what the data says). it’s a problem that’s grown out of proportion over the last few months and i think people are allowed to be discomforted about it in a vocal manner just as writers may defend their actions in a vocal manner, because realistically this kink encompasses a minuscule amount of the population and is not commonplace whatsoever so the average reader most likely won’t resonate with it and will notice the red flags regarding its growing exposure on this app; we all share this app and i completely understand why some are offended by the pushback, but unfortunately it’s not healthy and anyone who writes this type of content KNOWS!! not saying it’s everyone who dares to use a simple nickname or two, but a comprehensive look at the overall language and imagery of the fics.. in essentia, y’all should look into therapy ngl.. really explore why ur attracted to the idea of an authority figure making ur “princess parts” “feel funny”, and why u make ur characters so “naive”, “innocent”, and “inexperienced” that they don’t even know what their own CUNT is ! 😀

that’s all, and i thank you for using your platform to continue this conversation because it needs to be said <3

honestly couldn’t have said any of this better myself. also the very early obx fic days is crazy… that’s like over a year at least. genuinely insane. thank you for following me that long i love you 🫶🏽

[cakejerry]

im interested in your bts *stanning* experience can you share more with new cakejerrians

SIGHHH okayyyyy i guess but ONLY because i love talking about myself

So in early 2015 i was kinda getting into kpop, right (due to pump it up fiesta) and following a bunch of blogs right here on tumblr, and ONE OF THEM reblogged a gifset of bts after their FIRST WIN and i was like! Okay okay let's see let's explore. Now I won't say i was blown away by' i need u' per se, but the pretty guy crying bc of their win with thick ass THIGHS also wore some red pants a few months earlier for war of hormone and i was like GYATTTTTT?????? and slowly started exploring them. Liked their songs fair enough, liked the hyyh bsides, and wouldn't you know- they decided to do follow up promotions with one of them! The iconic mystery elevator concept pics were so HYPEEEE, jimins red hair was ugly but they were so active and the fandom, while annoying, was FUN... And then jimins orange hair dropped and i was like 🤤🤤 and then RUN dropped and i begged my parents to get me the album (preordered that shit iktr) and then 2016 and almost all of 2017 were just... BORA BLOOD IN MY VEINSSSSS

But thenn, actually ever since the beginning of 2017, actually, shit, even earlier, with some of the tracks on wings, The Problems arose. I'll link my more detailed post on this later, but basically jungkook not having writing credits on begin, cypher pt4 being trash, bomnal being TRASH yet very popular, bbmas being overbearingly irrelevant yet pushed down everybody's throats, jimin fixing his tooth, namjoon being disgusting, a ~youtube documentary~ aka cashgrab dropping to take fan's money once again, the overabundance of aave in micdrop, chainsmokers, western pandering, fandom getting more and more obsessed with numbers and streaming and voting and their superiority complex while still clinging to an underdog story, 6.5, btsoutcast, the list goes on....

So I dropped them fully and blacklisted them and only heard snippets of what they were up to and have never regretted my decision even once bc let me tell you, it only went from worse to worser.

And then in august? Or july last year I literally heard The Voices and decided to check up on them and saw jungkook in scooter's pocket and went 'well it's not like im doing anything else rn' and i have autistic tendencies so i Need to know Everything they've done since I left and specifically in Chronological order and I'm a yapper so I used this blog to observe and yap and then you FREAKS found me like DO YOU THINK JIKOOK ARE REAL????? DO YOU DO YOU???? TELL US!!!! like please stay 193820 feet away from me grandma 🤢 I'm normal and aware enough to use ao3 instead of burdening everyone with my conspiracy theories. But anyways

[leveractionlesbian]

cw potential(?) spoilers for fnaf movie

i have such conflicting feelings on the fnaf movie, because on one hand i just see it as a pretty bad movie that was fun for long time fans like myself. but i worry that its success is going to create a chain reaction of movies so dependent on fanservice to an existing property that they're COMPLETELY unable to stand on their own, and yet which people defend as being "for the fans" as rabidly as DC fans.

because this already kind of exists with reboots/remakes, but those are at least trying to be their own thing (at least a little bit), and they aren't so successfully pandering as to foster large-scale defense on the basis of "well it's for the fans so you shouldn't criticize it." which is rhetoric i've actually seen from people who like the movie jumping into the replies of people who didn't.

im worried about it for the same reason i hate marvel so much: this movie's extreme box office success has the potential to be harmful to the medium as a whole. i hate marvel not because the movies are bad, but because its influence crept into every medium, to where it felt like most movies were refusing to take their own plot seriously and dumbing down their dialogue with quips and sarcasm.

that's what im worried about. another wave of franchise reboots, but even worse, where they pander so hard to an already existing fanbase that it becomes completely unwatchable by anyone outside the fandom. and that these movies will be more fiercely defended for being "fun" and "for the fans" rather than criticized for being pop culture dogshit which failed to realize the very specific context that made the FNAF movie so successful.

hopefully none of this comes to pass but if it did that would really really suck

[ariyadaivaris]

HEY DREW. GUESS FUCKING WHAT

[egyptienneallure]

Hi is the Omar-Edvin PR anon. Please know this not an attack and I want and adore Omar- Edvin friendship to exist as much as the next person but I also think we need to be critical of it is potrayed too. I agree they seem to care about each other and genuinely like each other, no denying that. However, after they realised how much us fans love it, I am left to question their each interaction as something genuine or done to pander to the fans (to certain extent) because they know we love it. Especially now since they have blown up and have a second season - they NEED to show they have a good rapport because it sells the show too.

As for the Hillershka Choir thing, I feel Netflix placed Edvin specifically seperate from rest of the cast members ( you can see in the video they are all on sidelines as Omar walks in and does his little wave) before his performance that they could capture the iconic hug as promo material. Very tiny example of how such things are orchestrated for consumption.

For them being friends with each others friends. Well, Joel ( Omar's best friend) knew Edvin from before. They have liked and commented on each others posts from 2018 and I think Wilma ( Edvin's best friend) was already friends with Hugo ( another of Omar's friends) so it would be easy mix if you have a few common friends. As well Felicia who was on YR too.

They do seem to have chemistry but that wouldn't depend on their offscreen relationship. Sara (IC) talked about how easy it is if co stars have chemistry but she emphasis that as professionals their job is make it happen on screen if it doesn't exist. We do know a lot of examples of actors who had great onscreen chemistry but didn't really like each other that well off screen.

Anyway, we can speculate only the both of them know the truth and I hope they are good friends and remain so cause their interactions are comforting and make me happy. But I also want to make sure, that we as Fandom don't demand it ( as Twitter/insta stans do) so much so that they have to pander or put every time they are together because I feel their friendship will not remain authentic or have space to grow deeper if the Fandom attitude continues.

I don't know if I explained it properly but thank you for reading this.

of course i understand, thank you for sharing! i agree with you on that extent - that they definitely are close and genuine but it is beneficial for promotion to show their friendship. and that some of it done for the benefit of promotion. ok so this got so long im sorry, i'll put the rest of my response under read more ...

i don't think we need to question every interaction though - even if they've been told to play it up for pr, that doesn't necessarily mean the interaction is not genuine? i mean it's not like netflix told edvin hey find an art piece that looks like omar at the art gallery in berlin and take a picture? they still don't tell them exactly what to post or say you know. because they are close friends, their interactions can still be genuine even if encouraged for pr.

oh 100%, i agree with you about the Hillerska choir thing. I mean that was obviously professionally filmed for the audience. ok im gonna embarrass myself here and say i didn't even notice the other cast members even though i've watched that performance multiple times. i do still think edvin was very genuinely excited about the performance though. also omar has shared his unreleased songs with edvin :')

oh thats so random how edvin knew joel from before and wilma knew hugo? do you have any more info about that? from what i knew i thought they didn't really have common circles, yk since omar was always in the music world and edvin in the acting world? I don't think that edvin and joel were close though - otherwise edvin and omar would've known each other before YR?

alsoooo there is nurbo and edvin - they both comment on each other's posts - what benefit for PR is it for omar's random friend (srry nurbo 😅) to comment on edvin's photos?

i get your POV on chemistry, but i still think that their chemistry is part of what made wilhelm x simon's chemistry come across so special. like Sara said - they can still make it happen on screen, but i don't think it would have been as special. i feel the same way about kurt and blaine on glee - they wouldn't have come across so well if chris colfer and darren criss didn't have wonderful chemistry together.

i love your last point so much! i think as a fandom, as much as we enjoy and love their friendship, we shouldn't put pressure and expectations on it, or idealise it too much. people are always talking about how it's not right to ship them because it could ruin their friendship, but we don't seem to realise that being overly involved in their platonic relationship could also potentially be harmful...

thank you for your message! <3

[mjalti]

Ana my workplace is frequented by almost exclusively white customers and I’m the only non white (I’m black) person working there. No one is racist that I know of but there is always a sense of exclusion, like when I walk into a room the convo dissipates, and I’m the last one to be invited or remembered for a company event. Have u had a similar situation ever?

hi! first of all --that really fucking sucks and i hope you allow yourself the space to admit that. that really just fucking sucks. I've had these situations happen to me when I was a newer employee but not because of race, mostly due to them not knowing me. this is one of my biggest """"secrets""": In work, I take what I call ..."the Beyonce approach." Im not hugely into music but i am into business and My favorite things about Beyonce are : 

 1. she never responds to rumors or insinuations of her character being Less than 

2. she uplifts young people in her position using her power, instead of playing an intimidation game with them 

3. she is always moving, always silent. surprise album drop. 

 What I learned from this: 1. never interact with gossip or rumors, either about others or myself. if conversation went quiet when I walked into a room, I would take control and introduce a new topic myself. I would make them speak to me, whether they liked it or not.  2. Anytime we had younger or newer employees to be trained, I would always volunteer to do the training and make them feel especially safe to ask me any question [i also have had the advantage of having been a tutor so i know when ppl are getting it and when they are Not], they feel 100% comfortable with me and they NOW that they are in their official roles, ride or DIE for me. anything that comes out of my email is their manual and they will turn to me before they turn to MY seniors. through your kindness, inspire. I bring in new people that I am sure will succeed--and when they do, it adds credibility to my opinions in the eyes of my sups, while earning me respect from other coworkers for bringing on intelligent people onto the team.  3. My work is Perfect period, no comma, no ellipsis, no comment, nothing. My work is superior and always presented as such. There is NOTHING ppl can say about my work that rings true in terms of critique. i work-work. and i apply to other positions, other jobs, other places. I do not pigeon hole myself, i am always working on the next move, educationally, career wise, FIELD wise, etc.

so from that, please take away this. You are in control. Whether someone else is racist or not, is not your problem right now. You do what you have control over; you make them speak to you, you make them respect you, and you hold your head up high because you are always going to be the best one there, you're going to make sure of it. if you have access to a person of color, or another black person who can come into the team, try to bring them onboard. look up your Org Chart and see who in the company is also a person of color or specifically black and honestly ask them to be your mentor, ask them for advice, how to move up and forward. You are not in a bad place, but obviously there is room for improvement. Diversity doesnt necessarily mean inclusiveness or people going out of their way to make you feel welcome--not in a pandering sense, but in the genuine sense where you are a human being! and you are nervous! and it helps to feel like you have someone who can see ur fuck ups as booboos instead of Faults. i get that. that isnt wrong. that isnt asking for too much. you deserve to feel like a part of your team and it's sad that they are failing you. But if anything, I hope you use this message in the best intention-- go in there and make them YOUR team.

[burr-ell]

Just saw your post on your thoughts on Dorothea, and you mentioned that the fandom has soured your opinions of Ashe and Bernie. Do you mind me asking how/why?

(im just now answering asks im SORRY it's just been a really busy holiday season)

I may have mentioned this in my previous post on Ashe, but I think it's mostly the insistence that oh but you have to like Ashe and Bernadetta, they're such pure cinnamon rolls!! nah fam they're annoying lol

So I've addressed why I'm not fond of Ashe, but Bernadetta is a whole other can of worms. Her C-supports are almost entirely "character A: hey bernie whats good" and then Bernie's like "AAAAAAAHHHHHH DONT KILL ME IM VEWY SCAWED UWU -runs away-" and it's just. so tiresome, not to mention incredibly grating on the ears after about five or six go-rounds of it. And in my opinion, the reason for that behavior turns it from irritating to downright offensive. This is a young girl who has severe trauma-based anxiety issues stemming from years of horrible abuse, and her behavior is played for quirky laughs and to make her ~relatable 🤪~ I'm not gonna get into it, but I have some trauma-based anxiety myself, and I find Bernadetta to be a pretty gross, ugly portrayal thereof.

And furthermore, the reason she's portrayed this way is almost entirely for player pandering, and it works, which means a character I find deeply irritating and offensive is almost inescapable. Like, I don't think it can be argued that the Black Eagles are House Waifu. Edelgard is the Defrosting Ice Queen Girlboss Who's Soft For ✨You✨ waifu, Dorothea is the Flirty But Sad Booba waifu, and Bernadetta is the Hikikomori Who ✨You✨ Can Fix waifu. (Petra doesn’t fall into this quite as much from what I've seen, thankfully. Leave while you can Petra, you're a Golden Lion now.) Bernie appeals to a very specific kind of (usually male) player with a savior complex, and they are aggressive in how much they cape for her. They are the reason we will undoubtedly be seeing Brave Bernadetta as a contender in FEH CYL next year, and they will undoubtedly be as insufferable about it as the Gatekeeper and Marianne fans were.

So yeah, my annoyance with Bernie, like my annoyance with Ashe and Dorothea, is partially rooted in how she's written and partially rooted in the fandom's response.

[edenmaiden]

ohh i love to make art for my friends oh i love it so much i giggle and guffaw to myself while i do it im like ohh they are going to love this (it is made specifically to pander to them)

[whos-gwineth]

Its so scary when my OCD manifests into a relationship obsession. Its like how people say, you can get a million compliments but you focus on the one sole mean comment.

I thought yet again that *that* specific person and I were friends, but im thinking that I might have said something or posted something that either annoyed them or scared them. Even if it wasn’t directed at them personally (Im talking insta stories).

It sucks also because they dont live near me and this is a “online” relationship so it bares on the edge of a parasocial one.

But it hurts more because, with my other relationship problems and insecurities that Ive had with people near me, I have been able to either ease my anxiety by proximity or just be an actual adult and talk to them. 99% of the time it has nothing to do with me and the remaining 1% can be easily solved by speaking.

Maybe Im delusional and this friendship never existed in the first place and I psyched myself up. Its not even about them. Its about me obsessing over my character in relation to them. Its sucks and it hurts.

I try and try, and every time I tell myself Im gonna stop and not engage, they either show some small interest and I get excited again. To the point that Im pandering to them in a way (with my insta posts-and this is so embarrassing to admit).

Im just using tumblr now as a word vomit space because I feel safe here and I have no one to talk to about this.

[jung-freud]

since a certain someone continues to vague about me on twitter over a post of mine, which looking back was poorly worded and fueled by a bit too much anger, i feel the need to reword a certain thought of mine.

I've learned by now to disregard the reasons for the production of stuff like NGE, Devilman, LoGH; (series with interesting plots that just so happen to appeal a lot to certain fans who are really into m/m even though any rep for it from the material is either pandering or not postive) I like these stories and a lot of other people do, so theyre gonna be around. my main gripe is a large enough majority of the fans of said stories that i encounter are offputting by way of them hyperfocusing on the m/m aspect, however much of it there might be, especially when the fans buy and large aren't gay/bi men like me. the essence of wanting/liking m/m stuff isnt the whole story, its their attitude; a lot of them are really annoying and at times gross about how they go about enjoying the story (well more the chracters as they see them to be specific). if you want a modern example, just look at what happened to voltron; theres a reason I, a mecha fanatic, keep a dozen armslengths from that show and its fans. there're just too many gross, out-of-their-lane people for the experience to be enjoyable at all. ideally i could just ignore this kinda shit but its been so prevelant ever since i got into mecha/seinin stuff and im sick of it. ive had to witness it for years, years in which i was discovering myself, all the while having to watch people ogle and fetishize what i thought and then realized i was. and it wasnt fun doing that initially. if not for my sake, for the sake of younger gay boys who may follow my path and get into the same kinda stories, for them, try to be a little less gross.

[simkjrs]

chapter 6 asks that are people in distress about shinsou

SPOILERS FOR THE FIC, so it’s all under the readmore 

** before i start, i just want to say, the sheer number of people who have guessed that it’s himiko impersonating shinsou is frankly alarming and equally hilarious. thanks yall 

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD SHINSOU MY SON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM??? HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS????? (for real, tho, that chapter was?? So good??? I'm so happy to have read this)

you’re absolutely right he doesn’t deserve this and im doing it to him anyways, which objectively proves that as an author i am not and never have been trustworthy. im sorry if i ever tricked you into thinking otherwise. im crying as well

Anonymous said: holy crap that chapter. where do i even start. i knew the kidnapping was coming up but that scene still managed to punch me in the gut. shinsou doesn't deserve this he just wanted to be a hero you guys. also the scene where izuku brought mitoki flowers was really great and i'm so happy that conversation happened. and the paintball fight? best thing i've ever laid my eyes upon. sorry this wasn't very coherent, i'm gonna go fling myself into the sun. thank you for this amazing chapter.

thank YOU for the feedback, i’m really glad you enjoyed the mitoki conversation & the paintball fight because those two scenes were the ones i was most nervous about. as for shinsou, you are very right. he doesn’t deserve this and im sorry 

Anonymous said: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! that was so intense!!!!!!!!!!!! that chapter was amazing you lied sorry ://// (izuku has a crush on shinsou and i couldnt be happier. sweethearts, the both of them.) SO MUCH HAPPENED AT ONCE IM FU KCIFNSICIAJX!!!! WHAT HAPPENED WITH SHINSOU??? MY BOY WHO THREATENED HIM. WHO HURT HIM??!?!?!!?!??!!??!?! i got so emotional all throughout this chapter i almost cried like 26 times that was wild af!!! NOW HOW DO I RECOVER FROM THIS!!!! (im so worried about shinsou. about everyone.)

hfjldksf thanks!! glad you enjoyed it!! im sorry for making you emotional. its the unintended side effects of tryin to convey izuku’s state of mind 

i know this won’t ease your suffering much but for a while i intended for chapter 7 to be from shinsou’s point of view, and it was quite literally just titled “what happened to shinsou.” this may still happen. im not sure yet. stay tuned next for,

Anonymous said: *twitch twitch twitchy twich* omg suddenly i understand those comments from your betas. like. i'm legit speechless???? why. why would you do this, you evil writer from awesome land. like i just. im in like. the all caps state of shock. that FREAKING LAST LINE AKDJKLADSLKAJDSKLJLKJ. like. *squeezes air* i dont even know where to begin???? I MEAN CLEARLY I STARTED AT THE END BUT LIKE. so much. to talk about. like. the smile bits of gaming and cats and pics then THAT KAST KUUSJDFHSKJDHFSKJDHSJDF

i bait in readers with cute fun shenanigans and then i go in for the kill 

(thank you for writing in, i’m glad you enjoyed the chapter <3 )

Anonymous said: no, but like, ur saying that chapter 6 is the worst one YET (which is a HORRIBLE LIE. this chapter was great. even if it let us all devastated afterwards. but whats a good fanfiction if it doesnt affect the reader tho heh(and your certainly is a great fanfiction. one of the greatest)) is it because of the giant clusterfuck that 7 and/or 8 is gonna be? (kamino ward, all might reveal, kidnappings+ SHINSOU) im legit worried haha ( btw "(accidental) dad might: Stealth Style" is my favorite tag now)

i cultivate my tags with pride. im glad you enjoyed that one in particular :3c and also... thank you... i was super insecure abt ch6 so it’s really nice hearing ppl liked it! i really appreciate it <3 

the next chapter(s?) are going to be a clusterfuck so you are probably wise to be legit worried. preemptive apologies. i don’t know why im doing this and im sorry also 

Anonymous said: I don't actually believe that Shinsou did it, naturally. Maybe the villains pin the blame on him cause it's easier to do it to someone that everyone is already wary about? I honestly have no idea, you're too unpredictable with some of these things

u have a good nose anon... but also when have i EVER been unpredictable about anything. my taste and storytelling is incredibly predictable in that it is always The Worst and Incredibly Self Indulgent. all you have to do to pick out the path im taking is think “what path allows simk to pander to their own interests the most?” and thats the path i’ll take. this is exactly what is happening with the entirety of this fic and especially with this next arc 

Anonymous said: is shinsou being blackmailed?? controlled by someone else?? someone stole his face?? was he used as a hostage bc he interacted with class I-A more? or is someone threatening izuku again or.. ahhh idk what it is but I really feel he is not a traitor so: my current theories about shinsou. am I close?? 

yes to all of the above 

Anonymous said: Pretty sure you didn't get many theories yet cause we are still in shock. Send help pls. (Loved the chapter btw that chapter was legit a roller-coaster of feels.)

theres no help to be found. i did this irrevocably and now theres nothing we can do about it 

(thank you! i’m really glad to hear that, and hope that you have recovered from your shock :p )

Anonymous said: thoughts on shinsou's reasons: bakugou is a abusive shit who is undeserving of being a hero and made him lose all faith in heroes, blackmail, threats, brainwashing, some other type of convincing, he has been the traitor the whole time and you just want to kill us with angst, the LoV is threatening deku and if he doesn't help them they kill him, rage against society has reached its peak (same tho), or he wants to get back at bakugou, or the Cat Cafe is being threatened. please stop killing me.

this is a really impressive laundry list of unconventional reasons for shinsou to join the villain alliance. i love it. i too would become a villain in order to save my favorite cat cafe and spite a person i don’t like 

@armcontrolnerve said: it was himiko in the study with the candlestick 

d...does this make shinsou the murder victim 

Anonymous said: I JUST READ THE NEW CHAPTER AND JUST WANTED TO DROP BY AND SAY YOU'VE UTTERLY WRECKED ME. I have tears in my eyes, I am currently flailing about like a fish while my brain goes into overdrive trying to dodge the reality of that ending. Shinsou was helping Izuku not two scenes ago, he was probably kidnapped and forced to do it against his will via torture or something. I refuse to believe that Shinsou is a villain and you cannot tell me oTHERWISE

good instincts. hold onto that feeling 

Anonymous said: My guess: shinsou was kidnapped by Villain Alliance. Himiko Toga is using her quirk to impersonate him. But...why

bad pr image for yuuei 

Anonymous said: all im thinking is that girl with the quirk that lets her shapeshift into people if she gets their blood and im just. oh no. shinsou. how could u do this to the poor sweet gay boy. meet me in the pit for a fight, and also a round of compliments for ur fucking writing skills. u made me cry. i love this fic so much but unfortunately i still have to challenge u to a duel, for the sake of these poor children, and their mental health,,, (ps i love ur writing and ur fantastic!! byeee)

if you kill me youll never get these children back alive

(thank u though... this made me laugh. rest assured that i will promptly apply all my writing skills to elucidating the mystery of what happened to shinsou) 

Anonymous said: Shinsou probably got his quirk stolen by Sensei or someone is impersonating him I guess. Or his classmates are jerks and framing him or something. Smh

his classmates threw him under the bus

@sunslammerdown​ said: hi i am a person who reads your very extremely good fanfiction... thanks very much and also Wow Rude How Dare You. you said you were surprised at not getting more shinsou theories so heres my two: 1) It Was Toga, shinsou is kidnapped its not good 2) It Was All For One who can take quirks and use them on people and shinsou has a mind control quirk, its very not good still

what if its... 3) both, for maximum suffering, and the ultimate very not good happenstance 

@viperofsand​ said: I am sure I had something in mind when giving my review while I was reading chap 6, but after the final part my mind was all 'WHAT THE HELLLLLL', so, there is that. Also, I am inaugurating #ShinsouIsNotAVillain2017 for this fic starting now.

this is a good hashtag. i’m behind it. i have no right to be but i am 

Anonymous said: ok i'm trying not to panic bc of the cliffhanger but just tell me, will we know /why/ shinso is doing what he's doing ?? i'm trying not to spoil for ppl 

no worries! we will find out exactly what happened to shinsou...

@auspiciouswhiskers​ said: How much do I have to pay for a Shinsou redemption and/or Shindeku endgame because pleeease you have responsibilities

you don’t even have to ask. its already under way...

(more specifically: you just don’t even need to ask. there just isnt a need. hold that thought for a shindeku endgame though bc who KNOWS where im headed with that) 

Anonymous said: Izuku's gonna lure Shinsou with cats and everything will be just fine. Izuku holding up fuku, taka and isao: you know u can't harm them Shinsou: defeated

this is the ultimate villain shinsou ask. nothing is ever going to top this. you dont even need to fight shinsou you just have to appeal to him with cats and he’ll crumble instantly 

Anonymous said: Eh, I don't know if I'm angry, but I am a tad disappointed if it actually is "what it looks like" with Shinsou. I mean his whole deal is that while his power seems like one that a villain would have, he doesn't actually want to use it that way. If he really is a villain in your story, that sorta defeats the purpose of his character, you know? But I guess I'll just wait and see what you plan to do with it.

that aspect of his character is probably what makes what im doing 100% more awful so i guess what im trying to say is: don’t worry it’s not what it seems, but also, i should not be allowed to touch a computer 

Anonymous said: ok ok i have an idea about why shinsou provided inside help(i hope im at least a little right or im going to cry): he was threatened by the league? they saw him hanging out with deku and probably knew that he didnt know he was Hella Strong or smth and were like "look, if u dont want ur friend to die ur gonna have to Cooperate" and shinsou being an amazing friend was like "U LEAVE HIM ALONE U COCKROACH" and he did That. it probably happened in That One Stupid Horrible Month (please. PLEASE)

shinsou became a villain for deku confirmed. be gay, turn to the dark side 

Anonymous said: honestly while i'm still Actually Dead over the latest chapter Izuku having his Gay Awakening over someone who stabs him in the back is Relatable lol

h...hold that thought... 

also. i’m really sorry to hear that, and i hope you’re in a better place now. may your future gay relationships be blessed

Anonymous said: It's Mamoru. The ending to your new chapter is definitely a twist that I didn't expect at all. But oddly I'm not angry. Is Shinsou really going to be a villain? Because it kinda goes against he is fighting for. Or is he threatened?

spoiler alert...

@chocowl said: holy fuck simk

A theory: was Shinsou kidnapped by the VA and Himiko used her Quirk to look like him? That would explain the silence towards Izuku and would heal our tormented souls Q-Q

the truth is, the entire villain alliance is conspiring to fuck over shinsou, specifically