#im pandering to myself specifically

[velvetwyrme]

me while in the middle of writing like 4 other things: what if. soundwave/reader/jazz fic. what then.

[meccentric]

That is all helpful! I guess I was trying to be lazy about it by asking you. After thinking for a long time, that was kind of a shot in the dark. I've been in the fandom forever but haven't interacted with the original content at all in many years. Got so lost in my idea of these characters that I forgot where it all came from!

Your answer gave me some inspiration on what I could do to flesh him out more! I'm going to take your advice to heart, because it actually is really good advice. Thank you for your time!

Hey friend it's me again! I am writing fanfiction, but aside from not having done that in a while, I'm mostly concerned with how I portray Prussia. I value your opinion on that matter and so I thought maybe you could give me some pointers. It seems like he's your favorite character. He's not usually on my own radar but I'm writing this major story that features him as a main protagonist and I want to do him justice! Right now he's so bland as a character to me, it doesn't feel right :(

I'm not asking you to read my Fanfiction, but I'll send you a link if you're curious about what I mean :')

What characteristics are most important to you about him when you read fanfiction? Note: he's a young adult in the story

Thank you for your consideration! No problem if I don't hear anything back 👍

I don't know that you'll like this answer but it's my advice for anyone writing any character or relationship ever so i hope it helps:

Read the manga. Watch the anime. Dissect the character for what personality traits make them compelling or entertaining, what aspects make them recognizable outside of their context. This is how you stay in-character while writing aus, crack ships, or develop them through a story.

Next, read or watch absolutely anything else. What characters are similar? Why? What about *them* is compelling that builds on the characterizations you identified for, say, gilbert? Some of mine come from berserk, trainspotting, and wuthering heights. Yours should be different, or if theyre the same they should be things you already authentically enjoy. This is how you build on those bare bones with your own personal spin.

Lastly, take from real life. Who do you know that behaves in these ways? Why? What else do you know about their life situation, goals, troubles, etc. that leads to them acting this way? Whats their religion or philosophical standpoint?

I don't want anyone to write a character to my taste on purpose. I want everyone to write with intent and to put their whole pussy into it.

[copsecore]

my thoughts on the "fanon-isation" of sam (and his newest ba)

(taken from a long winded text conversation i had - slight NSFW talk below the cut) [WORD COUNT: 1047 WORDS, IM SORRY]

psa: while i am complaining about it, it's just my own thoughts, and none of which is an actual criticism of erik, feel free to add your opinions, as per the usual

Maybe its coz time is passing, and the relationship is developing but i feel like i’m enjoying the dynamic between sam and darlin’ a lot less than i did at the beginning. It feels a lot less “human-realistic” and more “tailored for fan preference” (you sam fans gotta hear me out on that bit okay).

Clearly erik isn’t “pandering” towards the fandom or anything, however there HAS been a change in sam’s writing that i don’t know if anyone else can see, or whether it’s just me.

 Fight me, but i feel like whatever’s happening to guy, the reverse is happening to sam. In the sense of where guy is gaining lore and becoming more plot relative, sam seems to be losing that position, which doesn’t cover all of my opinion, but it’s the simplest way i can think of putting it. 

He feels more “disconnected” as a character and I wish i could write this more specifically but there’s almost no “good” way of putting it, i’m just trying to put my vibes about this into readable thoughts in a way that’s somewhat well communicated.

It feels like he’s being diminished, where there’s less of the gruff dad-type personality, protective semi-asshole, gently-caring-in-a-non-tsundere-way, and a lot more “here’s your standard cookie-cutter southern bf who just so happens to be a vampire, however that’s essentially irrelevant because it’s never referenced in a way that’s plot-needed”. 

It’s quite flat and 2D now in a way that i can’t explain, so therefore don’t yell at me for saying it. While he’s still hot ofc, I don’t enjoy his character nearly as much as i did pre-quinn era, which is a shame because it’s difficult to let go of the fact that he’s one of my favourites, but the energy’s shifted and it’s “off” now. 

Maybe it’s because I’ve changed as a person in the last four years, which i know i have, but it doesn’t seem to be just character development, in the nicest way possible, it feels like he’s being written “out of character”.

Character development in any way is good, I’m a writer myself, I would know that, but those words aren’t what i would personally use to describe it. Forgive me, but i just felt like i needed to get everything out so i could see if anyone else agreed. 

You could say “it’s not that deep” but I’m autistic; this is my special interest, so as much as you can say otherwise, it is in fact “that deep” for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, i still thoroughly love sam as a whole, complete character, and the more recent videos that i don’t like as much could never take that away from me, so again, don’t come at me saying i’m “hating on him”, because i’m not.

This is as constructive of a “rant” that i can make it, and yes, my anonymous asks are turned off. I’m not gonna go on about how “i’m not criticising erik, BUT-” because if you know me at all, you’ll know i would never send hate towards him. 

With the “fanon-isation”, that’s just a word i threw out there to header this whole thing. I meant it mostly in reference to how a large part of the fandom seems to idealise or romanticise darlin’s character, and somewhat how that seems to be translating to the canon of their relationship with sam, and thus effecting him as well. But that wasn’t the right wording - the sam fangroup is big, and i’m already throwing myself to enough proverbial wolves as it is.

The thing that sparked all of this - and if you don’t have the patreon then you probably won’t know - is that Sam biting darlin’ for the first time happened in his most recent ba, which wasn’t something that i really liked. It felt weird to me that, even though it was fully communicated and both parties were okay, it would happen FOR THE FIRST TIME in a sexual setting. While it made sense for darlin’s character, it made less sense for sam’s.

 It also means that (at least as i’m writing this) the non-patrons won’t experience the very plot-important aspect that is sam biting darlin’ for the first time, considering how built-up it’s been throughout their storylines, it didn’t feel right.

It almost felt like the only reason the reverse-comfort audio even previewed for a ba was because THAT was the video that fell on release day. The circumstances just didn’t feel right for it, not given sam’s past and everything that happened in the quinn arc. 

i figured it would at least happen with a sit down conversation, in an sfw audio, even if it was ON patreon, but free. Of course - knowing darlin’ - it was going to be sexual at some point, but i didn’t think it would happen for the first time.

 I’m not going into any more specifics on the audio itself, but those are my thoughts on that bit. Sam bites darlin’, and i didn’t like it. My gripe is neither that it happened, nor that it’s not available to the public, but that nothing about the setting or the build up felt right, and it felt like it happened “just because”, which was a big let down for me, personally.

It wasn’t even the first time I’ve gotten the gist that something was “up”, THAT happened in sam’s hbs 2023 audio (NOT the ba, just the youtube access one) where it definitely felt more like “this is what the audience wants” because yes, who wouldn’t want to see a hot southerner get down and dirty in a club? But it didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but more so now it seemed like fandom influence of a sorts.

Almost like I was reading a fanfic or something that was posted on here (no hate of course, I would say my "platform" on here is mainly constructed of fan based content, just that it seemed more “headcanon-y” and less Just Canon) rather than something that erik himself wrote.

TL;DR: sam feels more and more “out of character” to me as a long-term viewer, and it all came to a head in the most recent bonus audio

[luckyshouse]

hi! im the asker of that not too vague not too personal question, haha. i did want to sincerely thank u outside of a like for responding and talking about it all; more is more, i'm so glad you had more to share!! i've only been able to understand or recognize my alters through fictional media, *ESPECIALLY* character tropes, like you mentioned?!!? it was basically the main tool i had that i could use to mentally cleave the concept of the alter apart from "me," which i also don't have a strong grasp of the desires/etc of, and when i looked around at typical experiences of fictives where they appear clear-cut instead of like blurry bundles of vague tropes and ways that a character acts, i felt for sure that i'd been misjudging myself when i used rules of thumb like "oh these tropes i'm exhibiting in this moment align with chara undertale, the character i bought a sweater to match with and act like, [X] is fronting, i guess??" -- the thing about kankri and having a "rule" about attractiveness hit too, in the sense that i couldn't have an alter from media i found too self-indulgent. this is a lot about moi you didn't need to know but genuinely. thank you for posting. thank you for making the art and the posts you do. i had no idea someone who i follow for it would make me have to sit with a disorder that a week ago i had completely tossed out the idea of despite also having the privilege of pretty persistent external validation from very obvious trauma. have a good one!

i'm so glad you were able to get help and gain something from my posts and art :') genuinely this is one of the sweetest things i've ever been told and i am so happy i could've helped. i understand completely, especially when i first started figuring out my system, i felt exactly like what you're describing. creating fursonas that embody those tropes have helped me so so much, but thats also because i at heart am a furry person. i have been making fursonas since before i could use the internet. and i think its really important that people talk about these things because DID is less so a specific set of rules that someone exists within and moreso a disorder that is extremely personalized to the person experiencing it. i think constantly about how DID generationally would portray in extremely different ways. someone with DID in the 50s is completely different than someone who has DID in the 2020s, because we have computers, we have new forms of media and entertainment and escapism. we have roleplaying and kinning where as a long time ago i'm sure systems were more focused on like television, or books, or spoken word. DID is a disorder characterized by completely dissociating from the body for extended periods of time, attempting to severe and fracture yourself when engaging with your body, but uiltimately, it is a disorder that is about being extremely abstracted from your physical self due to repeated and consistant trauma. i think its silly how people attempt to police how DID presents, becuase its like, how the fuck do you know someones "escapism" is wrong? you think theyre maladaptive daydreaming incorrectly? that doesn't make any sense. and i am so happy that i could portray other examples of DID so people know it isn't exclusively a one-model type of disorder.

this year has been really really rough on me, it's lead me to shedding a lot of things i considered core beliefs or held onto really tightly, due to nearly developing sepsis at one point and everything else going on in my life, i've decided that i'm trying to put all my effort into healing and learning who i actually am and who i want to be. i started making my art because i realized i was putting all of my energy into making art to create something for a bigger audience, and while that was helpful at the time, i want to create for myself. i want things i can be proud of not just because of the reception but because i internally feel proud and pandered to. im so happy my art means something to someone else

i hope you have a good night. :)

[hannie-dul-set]

heyyy

just read the breakup song and MAN😩😩. i'm in AWE with ur writing plsss it is illegal to be this good at it. writing smth svt related on tumblr was always on the back of mind but after reading ur fic, i sat down and started writing for god knows how long. i think i've found my element and its all thanks to u. the way u progressed through the story and the little bits that we saw about all characters gave the story so much dimension.. i finished it yesterday and still find myself going to reread it.. especially the intro meeting scene *mwah* i said the same thing under the post but im gonna say it again, THIS NEEDS TO BE A SHOW! i can see all of it playing out

also i wanted to ask u if u have any tips for very very newbie writers on here, especially svt content. like i said u inspired to start writing but find myself very confused at times, on making it look good and being able to reach many people

idk if ur still here but i wanted to say that i love u and ur writing and i'm in desperate need of more svt fics from u (wouldn't mind a reader or jeonghan pov of the closet scene iykwim) 💟💟💟💌

much love, love

HDHSHSJS THANK U FOR READING!!!!!

i don’t think i’m the best person to ask for advice from when it comes to writing on tumblr because i’m not on here frequently anymore 😭😭😭 and most of the time i just post whatever insanity my brain has conjured, which more often than not does fit within the standards of the kind of content that blows up on here (ahem, plotless smut, ahem). HOWEVER!!! if there’s anything specific you’d like to know/learn about fanfic writing and posting, i will try my best to help!!!

in terms of making fics look good n pretty, it’s always advisable to create a header that matches the vibe of the overall fic HAHAHHA the standard header formula on tumblr dot com is idol image + text (but as u can see.....i like to break that formula HAHAHAHAH) and make sure to use the appropriately spacings for ur text!!!

again, if there are any specifics that you'd like to get advice abt, feel free to ask more!! (with regards to reaching many people, i cannot impart any wisdom on that 😭😭 my fics generally do well because the following i've accumulated over the years even though most of the things i write don't pander to the general tumblr audience HAHAHAHAH i don't want to ruin ur creativity either by advising to write something that panders to that audience 😔���).

anyway!!! thank u sm for the compliments!!! lovelots!!!!

[amourrs]

listen babe I’ve been following you since your very early obx fic days and let me just say i very much agree w you on this whole daddy/little kink regression issue.. like im highly aware that the nicknames “kid” and “daddy” amongst others have been used in media since the early 20th century especially as a girl who loves those types of media, and frankly has no issue with it when it’s utilized in a responsible/appropriate manner (excluding the nickname “dad” specifically, which ofc that’s a personal preference) … but we OBVIOUSLY have a problem w minors infesting the nsfw side of this website (which many smut writers already caution towards/complain about— not to say im in support of it whatsoever cause im 21 and have been on this app for a literal decade so ik how it affects the mind in the long run and am staunchly against that sort of activity but i digress) so i can’t help but find it quite hypocritical when coupled w the fact that some writers are utilizing language that obviously expresses a certain degree of naïveté and childlike thought processes/tendencies that can be triggering for some and if not can otherwise be interpreted as an expression of pandering towards pedophilic behaviors/thought processes, and i want to reiterate my point of it being the OVERALL language of some fics not just a couple nicknames so that no one misinterprets what i mean and gets their panties twisted. i, in fact, enjoy a little daddy/mommy kink here and there but the thing ab ddlg specifically is that it’s never even been considered morally “sound” in the first place and is generally held in regard as an unhealthy correlative coping mechanism in actual psychiatric and therapeutic spaces related to psychosexual tendencies, and I’m not referring to kink communities which are generally subjective in the first place and allow space for people to make excuses for themselves (quite literally majoring in this rn so y’all pls don’t try and come @ me im just reading what the data says). it’s a problem that’s grown out of proportion over the last few months and i think people are allowed to be discomforted about it in a vocal manner just as writers may defend their actions in a vocal manner, because realistically this kink encompasses a minuscule amount of the population and is not commonplace whatsoever so the average reader most likely won’t resonate with it and will notice the red flags regarding its growing exposure on this app; we all share this app and i completely understand why some are offended by the pushback, but unfortunately it’s not healthy and anyone who writes this type of content KNOWS!! not saying it’s everyone who dares to use a simple nickname or two, but a comprehensive look at the overall language and imagery of the fics.. in essentia, y’all should look into therapy ngl.. really explore why ur attracted to the idea of an authority figure making ur “princess parts” “feel funny”, and why u make ur characters so “naive”, “innocent”, and “inexperienced” that they don’t even know what their own CUNT is ! 😀

that’s all, and i thank you for using your platform to continue this conversation because it needs to be said <3

honestly couldn’t have said any of this better myself. also the very early obx fic days is crazy… that’s like over a year at least. genuinely insane. thank you for following me that long i love you 🫶🏽

[cakejerry]

im interested in your bts *stanning* experience can you share more with new cakejerrians

SIGHHH okayyyyy i guess but ONLY because i love talking about myself

So in early 2015 i was kinda getting into kpop, right (due to pump it up fiesta) and following a bunch of blogs right here on tumblr, and ONE OF THEM reblogged a gifset of bts after their FIRST WIN and i was like! Okay okay let's see let's explore. Now I won't say i was blown away by' i need u' per se, but the pretty guy crying bc of their win with thick ass THIGHS also wore some red pants a few months earlier for war of hormone and i was like GYATTTTTT?????? and slowly started exploring them. Liked their songs fair enough, liked the hyyh bsides, and wouldn't you know- they decided to do follow up promotions with one of them! The iconic mystery elevator concept pics were so HYPEEEE, jimins red hair was ugly but they were so active and the fandom, while annoying, was FUN... And then jimins orange hair dropped and i was like 🤤🤤 and then RUN dropped and i begged my parents to get me the album (preordered that shit iktr) and then 2016 and almost all of 2017 were just... BORA BLOOD IN MY VEINSSSSS

But thenn, actually ever since the beginning of 2017, actually, shit, even earlier, with some of the tracks on wings, The Problems arose. I'll link my more detailed post on this later, but basically jungkook not having writing credits on begin, cypher pt4 being trash, bomnal being TRASH yet very popular, bbmas being overbearingly irrelevant yet pushed down everybody's throats, jimin fixing his tooth, namjoon being disgusting, a ~youtube documentary~ aka cashgrab dropping to take fan's money once again, the overabundance of aave in micdrop, chainsmokers, western pandering, fandom getting more and more obsessed with numbers and streaming and voting and their superiority complex while still clinging to an underdog story, 6.5, btsoutcast, the list goes on....

So I dropped them fully and blacklisted them and only heard snippets of what they were up to and have never regretted my decision even once bc let me tell you, it only went from worse to worser.

And then in august? Or july last year I literally heard The Voices and decided to check up on them and saw jungkook in scooter's pocket and went 'well it's not like im doing anything else rn' and i have autistic tendencies so i Need to know Everything they've done since I left and specifically in Chronological order and I'm a yapper so I used this blog to observe and yap and then you FREAKS found me like DO YOU THINK JIKOOK ARE REAL????? DO YOU DO YOU???? TELL US!!!! like please stay 193820 feet away from me grandma 🤢 I'm normal and aware enough to use ao3 instead of burdening everyone with my conspiracy theories. But anyways

[leveractionlesbian]

cw potential(?) spoilers for fnaf movie

i have such conflicting feelings on the fnaf movie, because on one hand i just see it as a pretty bad movie that was fun for long time fans like myself. but i worry that its success is going to create a chain reaction of movies so dependent on fanservice to an existing property that they're COMPLETELY unable to stand on their own, and yet which people defend as being "for the fans" as rabidly as DC fans.

because this already kind of exists with reboots/remakes, but those are at least trying to be their own thing (at least a little bit), and they aren't so successfully pandering as to foster large-scale defense on the basis of "well it's for the fans so you shouldn't criticize it." which is rhetoric i've actually seen from people who like the movie jumping into the replies of people who didn't.

im worried about it for the same reason i hate marvel so much: this movie's extreme box office success has the potential to be harmful to the medium as a whole. i hate marvel not because the movies are bad, but because its influence crept into every medium, to where it felt like most movies were refusing to take their own plot seriously and dumbing down their dialogue with quips and sarcasm.

that's what im worried about. another wave of franchise reboots, but even worse, where they pander so hard to an already existing fanbase that it becomes completely unwatchable by anyone outside the fandom. and that these movies will be more fiercely defended for being "fun" and "for the fans" rather than criticized for being pop culture dogshit which failed to realize the very specific context that made the FNAF movie so successful.

hopefully none of this comes to pass but if it did that would really really suck

[ariyadaivaris]

HEY DREW. GUESS FUCKING WHAT

[egyptienneallure]

Hi is the Omar-Edvin PR anon. Please know this not an attack and I want and adore Omar- Edvin friendship to exist as much as the next person but I also think we need to be critical of it is potrayed too. I agree they seem to care about each other and genuinely like each other, no denying that. However, after they realised how much us fans love it, I am left to question their each interaction as something genuine or done to pander to the fans (to certain extent) because they know we love it. Especially now since they have blown up and have a second season - they NEED to show they have a good rapport because it sells the show too.

As for the Hillershka Choir thing, I feel Netflix placed Edvin specifically seperate from rest of the cast members ( you can see in the video they are all on sidelines as Omar walks in and does his little wave) before his performance that they could capture the iconic hug as promo material. Very tiny example of how such things are orchestrated for consumption.

For them being friends with each others friends. Well, Joel ( Omar's best friend) knew Edvin from before. They have liked and commented on each others posts from 2018 and I think Wilma ( Edvin's best friend) was already friends with Hugo ( another of Omar's friends) so it would be easy mix if you have a few common friends. As well Felicia who was on YR too.

They do seem to have chemistry but that wouldn't depend on their offscreen relationship. Sara (IC) talked about how easy it is if co stars have chemistry but she emphasis that as professionals their job is make it happen on screen if it doesn't exist. We do know a lot of examples of actors who had great onscreen chemistry but didn't really like each other that well off screen.

Anyway, we can speculate only the both of them know the truth and I hope they are good friends and remain so cause their interactions are comforting and make me happy. But I also want to make sure, that we as Fandom don't demand it ( as Twitter/insta stans do) so much so that they have to pander or put every time they are together because I feel their friendship will not remain authentic or have space to grow deeper if the Fandom attitude continues.

I don't know if I explained it properly but thank you for reading this.

of course i understand, thank you for sharing! i agree with you on that extent - that they definitely are close and genuine but it is beneficial for promotion to show their friendship. and that some of it done for the benefit of promotion. ok so this got so long im sorry, i'll put the rest of my response under read more ...

i don't think we need to question every interaction though - even if they've been told to play it up for pr, that doesn't necessarily mean the interaction is not genuine? i mean it's not like netflix told edvin hey find an art piece that looks like omar at the art gallery in berlin and take a picture? they still don't tell them exactly what to post or say you know. because they are close friends, their interactions can still be genuine even if encouraged for pr.

oh 100%, i agree with you about the Hillerska choir thing. I mean that was obviously professionally filmed for the audience. ok im gonna embarrass myself here and say i didn't even notice the other cast members even though i've watched that performance multiple times. i do still think edvin was very genuinely excited about the performance though. also omar has shared his unreleased songs with edvin :')

oh thats so random how edvin knew joel from before and wilma knew hugo? do you have any more info about that? from what i knew i thought they didn't really have common circles, yk since omar was always in the music world and edvin in the acting world? I don't think that edvin and joel were close though - otherwise edvin and omar would've known each other before YR?

alsoooo there is nurbo and edvin - they both comment on each other's posts - what benefit for PR is it for omar's random friend (srry nurbo 😅) to comment on edvin's photos?

i get your POV on chemistry, but i still think that their chemistry is part of what made wilhelm x simon's chemistry come across so special. like Sara said - they can still make it happen on screen, but i don't think it would have been as special. i feel the same way about kurt and blaine on glee - they wouldn't have come across so well if chris colfer and darren criss didn't have wonderful chemistry together.

i love your last point so much! i think as a fandom, as much as we enjoy and love their friendship, we shouldn't put pressure and expectations on it, or idealise it too much. people are always talking about how it's not right to ship them because it could ruin their friendship, but we don't seem to realise that being overly involved in their platonic relationship could also potentially be harmful...

thank you for your message! <3

[mjalti]

Ana my workplace is frequented by almost exclusively white customers and I’m the only non white (I’m black) person working there. No one is racist that I know of but there is always a sense of exclusion, like when I walk into a room the convo dissipates, and I’m the last one to be invited or remembered for a company event. Have u had a similar situation ever?

hi! first of all --that really fucking sucks and i hope you allow yourself the space to admit that. that really just fucking sucks. I've had these situations happen to me when I was a newer employee but not because of race, mostly due to them not knowing me. this is one of my biggest """"secrets""": In work, I take what I call ..."the Beyonce approach." Im not hugely into music but i am into business and My favorite things about Beyonce are : 

 1. she never responds to rumors or insinuations of her character being Less than 

2. she uplifts young people in her position using her power, instead of playing an intimidation game with them 

3. she is always moving, always silent. surprise album drop. 

 What I learned from this: 1. never interact with gossip or rumors, either about others or myself. if conversation went quiet when I walked into a room, I would take control and introduce a new topic myself. I would make them speak to me, whether they liked it or not.  2. Anytime we had younger or newer employees to be trained, I would always volunteer to do the training and make them feel especially safe to ask me any question [i also have had the advantage of having been a tutor so i know when ppl are getting it and when they are Not], they feel 100% comfortable with me and they NOW that they are in their official roles, ride or DIE for me. anything that comes out of my email is their manual and they will turn to me before they turn to MY seniors. through your kindness, inspire. I bring in new people that I am sure will succeed--and when they do, it adds credibility to my opinions in the eyes of my sups, while earning me respect from other coworkers for bringing on intelligent people onto the team.  3. My work is Perfect period, no comma, no ellipsis, no comment, nothing. My work is superior and always presented as such. There is NOTHING ppl can say about my work that rings true in terms of critique. i work-work. and i apply to other positions, other jobs, other places. I do not pigeon hole myself, i am always working on the next move, educationally, career wise, FIELD wise, etc.

so from that, please take away this. You are in control. Whether someone else is racist or not, is not your problem right now. You do what you have control over; you make them speak to you, you make them respect you, and you hold your head up high because you are always going to be the best one there, you're going to make sure of it. if you have access to a person of color, or another black person who can come into the team, try to bring them onboard. look up your Org Chart and see who in the company is also a person of color or specifically black and honestly ask them to be your mentor, ask them for advice, how to move up and forward. You are not in a bad place, but obviously there is room for improvement. Diversity doesnt necessarily mean inclusiveness or people going out of their way to make you feel welcome--not in a pandering sense, but in the genuine sense where you are a human being! and you are nervous! and it helps to feel like you have someone who can see ur fuck ups as booboos instead of Faults. i get that. that isnt wrong. that isnt asking for too much. you deserve to feel like a part of your team and it's sad that they are failing you. But if anything, I hope you use this message in the best intention-- go in there and make them YOUR team.

[burr-ell]

Just saw your post on your thoughts on Dorothea, and you mentioned that the fandom has soured your opinions of Ashe and Bernie. Do you mind me asking how/why?

(im just now answering asks im SORRY it's just been a really busy holiday season)

I may have mentioned this in my previous post on Ashe, but I think it's mostly the insistence that oh but you have to like Ashe and Bernadetta, they're such pure cinnamon rolls!! nah fam they're annoying lol

So I've addressed why I'm not fond of Ashe, but Bernadetta is a whole other can of worms. Her C-supports are almost entirely "character A: hey bernie whats good" and then Bernie's like "AAAAAAAHHHHHH DONT KILL ME IM VEWY SCAWED UWU -runs away-" and it's just. so tiresome, not to mention incredibly grating on the ears after about five or six go-rounds of it. And in my opinion, the reason for that behavior turns it from irritating to downright offensive. This is a young girl who has severe trauma-based anxiety issues stemming from years of horrible abuse, and her behavior is played for quirky laughs and to make her ~relatable 🤪~ I'm not gonna get into it, but I have some trauma-based anxiety myself, and I find Bernadetta to be a pretty gross, ugly portrayal thereof.

And furthermore, the reason she's portrayed this way is almost entirely for player pandering, and it works, which means a character I find deeply irritating and offensive is almost inescapable. Like, I don't think it can be argued that the Black Eagles are House Waifu. Edelgard is the Defrosting Ice Queen Girlboss Who's Soft For ✨You✨ waifu, Dorothea is the Flirty But Sad Booba waifu, and Bernadetta is the Hikikomori Who ✨You✨ Can Fix waifu. (Petra doesn’t fall into this quite as much from what I've seen, thankfully. Leave while you can Petra, you're a Golden Lion now.) Bernie appeals to a very specific kind of (usually male) player with a savior complex, and they are aggressive in how much they cape for her. They are the reason we will undoubtedly be seeing Brave Bernadetta as a contender in FEH CYL next year, and they will undoubtedly be as insufferable about it as the Gatekeeper and Marianne fans were.

So yeah, my annoyance with Bernie, like my annoyance with Ashe and Dorothea, is partially rooted in how she's written and partially rooted in the fandom's response.

[timegears-moved]

☕️ mmmm pokemon games specifically (not including spinoffs)

sorry this is late im terrible with actually answering asks. ill do this generation by generation. also this ended up very long because i have a lot of thoughts about pkmn.

gen one: okay so right off the bat im gonna say that i have a massive soft spot for gen one, considering blue was the first game i ever played. i do have a degree of nostalgia towards it which is why i can never be truly be harsh on these games. i know they're a mess of glitches and mechanics that make no fucking sense (seriously FUCK psychic types and everything they stand for) but it has a certain charm to it.

but even as a "kanto apologist" (which damien calls me) i can absolutely agree that the pandering is fucking abysmal. they're trying cater to a demographic who hasn't cared about pokemon in years and aren't going to pick up a new game just because charizard is in it. by doing this it feels like they're alienating the people who actually care, like "yeah ur support is nice but we want the genwunners to like us more than anything.

also on the topic of pandering is that their pandering is so half-assed too. all of this gen one content and not one shred of love for my boys victreebel or cloyster? bro i hate it here.

gen two: i dont really have that much to say here tbh. i have no fond memories of it at all considering i only played through gold once right before hgss came out. i can say that i appreciate all of the bullshit from gen one that it fixed but i have issues with johto as a region that ill elaborate on when i talk about the remakes.

gen three: honestly i never cared much for this gen. i played it quite a bit growing up but it's always been whatever for me. a lot of it just feels kind of.....bland for me. i really don't know what to say because it leaves me feeling conflicted. there's nothing bad about these games that sticks out like a sore thumb but they just don't do it for me, ya know?

i do appreciate frlg for shedding a much better light on kanto though.

gen four: okay so i'll fully admit that the sinnoh games are my childhood faves and are still my faves now but im not letting nostalgia completely cloud my judgement on this.

honestly? i think pokemon peaked with platinum. dp had their problems for sure and some of those still carried over to platinum but the scale in which platinum told its story feels so much grander than any pokemon game that came before or after it. i absolute adore the sinnoh mythos and i only want dp remakes just so it can get expanded upon, i could care less about any actually gameplay from it. ive said this before but you cannot make the god of pokemon and not do anything with it.

as for hgss, i have very mixed feelings about this one but not in the same way gen 3 made me feel because i do have genuine problems here. ive talked before about them but i just cannot stress how bad the level and pokemon distributions are. how the fuck can you make brand new pokemon for your johto region and not put them in fucking johto?

like these games are fine ig. i never cared about the walking pokemon mechanic but it literally feels like people only praise this game as the best because of that one thing that has no bearing on the actual game itself. you can like these games all you want, i still enjoy parts of them myself, but calling them the best is a huge reach.

gen five: right off the bat im gonna say that i do love the gen five games so nobody thinks im being overly critical or anything. i love the aesthetic of these games, i ADORE the pokemon here and they're some of the most fun pokemon games to play through. it's the story and characters (with the exception of n i will absolutely give credit where it is die there) that throw me for a loop.

i feel like whenever i praise the story or characters im just following the crowd here. i don't know if im just very stupid (i definitely am very stupid) or what but none of it felt as powerful as people claim it is for me personally. maybe i should just pay more attention but i honestly don't know. im definitely not saying theyre bad or anything i just in all hobestly dont get the (very sudden) hype.

uhhh i can't say much about bw2 because i haven't beaten it since it came out but i remember liking hugh and it made iris a champion so i remember them being good on those two things alone.

gen six: hohohohoho here we go. tbh i don't even know what i can say about xy that hasn't already been said. like gen one might be a huge mess looking back on it but at least it had character. xy introduced a few pokemon that i really liked and some amazing shiny hunting methods that should definitely return but that's the most i can say in terms of praise.

i dont think pokemon has ever gotten this boring before, and that's speaking as someone who clocked over 300 hours into my x save file. nothing has life (which in hindsight is ironic considering xerneas is the god of life) and i hate the way mega evolution was handled so much. i really don't know what else to say because everyone has already said what i want to but i think this has been pokemon's lowest point so far.

oras once again made hoenn complicated for me. they made hoenn somewhat interesting for me in a way that didnt capture me in the originals. i don't think they're stellar but ive seen people call these the worst ones and....why. i get that the originals are special to a lot of people and that they feel like oras did them injustice but honestly i would oras over the originals because they're just more fun for me.

gen seven: it made popplio. 10/10.

okay so i can understand why the very slow start and unskippable long cutscenes threw a lot of people off but i just don't understand so much of the hate it around other things. again i see people proclaiming it as the worst and you can see it as that from a gameplay element, but the story fucking slapped ass and i don't think amybody can or should deny that. maybe i just feel very passionately about them because they're very personal for me in helping me through a rough time in my life but i just also dont see why everybody is so mad at these games sometimes.

the fact that sm mean so much to me makes usum's entire existence hurt so much more. like wow i love abuse apologism: the game thank you sooooo much gamefreak! /s

aside from ultra wormhole jumping, my baby dusk lycanroc and the new ultra beasts i dont care for anything new usum brought. it feels like it back peddled so much by completely ruining lillie's character by attempting to make lusamine likable when the damage from the first games was already done. i hate usum they're the only pokemon games i can state that i hate. i don't know how you can take sm's well-done albeit flawed blueprints, take out everything that was good and only leave stuff that either doesn't matter or is actively harmful.

also let's go pikachu and eevee exist too idrc

gen eight: ive already spoken my piece on swsh but im gonna be more clear here. i dont think swsh is inherently bad and i can still have fun with them. i dont think the issue here lies with the cut pokedex. i could honestly care less about that and i always figured we would get to this point. the issue lies with nintendo and tpci pushing for yearly releases, forcing the devs to make yearly subpar games. i can think of so many ways they can remedy this situation: taking longer times between releases, hiring more staff at gamefreak or even splitting developments for different projects between multiple different studios. i hope that the reported low moral at gamefreak at swsh's releases is enough of a wake up call for change but that could just be me being optimistic.

i am SO sorry this ended up as long as it is but i have a lot of opinions and not enpugh willpower to keep my mouth shut

[edenmaiden]

ohh i love to make art for my friends oh i love it so much i giggle and guffaw to myself while i do it im like ohh they are going to love this (it is made specifically to pander to them)

[whos-gwineth]

Its so scary when my OCD manifests into a relationship obsession. Its like how people say, you can get a million compliments but you focus on the one sole mean comment.

I thought yet again that *that* specific person and I were friends, but im thinking that I might have said something or posted something that either annoyed them or scared them. Even if it wasn’t directed at them personally (Im talking insta stories).

It sucks also because they dont live near me and this is a “online” relationship so it bares on the edge of a parasocial one.

But it hurts more because, with my other relationship problems and insecurities that Ive had with people near me, I have been able to either ease my anxiety by proximity or just be an actual adult and talk to them. 99% of the time it has nothing to do with me and the remaining 1% can be easily solved by speaking.

Maybe Im delusional and this friendship never existed in the first place and I psyched myself up. Its not even about them. Its about me obsessing over my character in relation to them. Its sucks and it hurts.

I try and try, and every time I tell myself Im gonna stop and not engage, they either show some small interest and I get excited again. To the point that Im pandering to them in a way (with my insta posts-and this is so embarrassing to admit).

Im just using tumblr now as a word vomit space because I feel safe here and I have no one to talk to about this.

[jung-freud]

since a certain someone continues to vague about me on twitter over a post of mine, which looking back was poorly worded and fueled by a bit too much anger, i feel the need to reword a certain thought of mine.

I've learned by now to disregard the reasons for the production of stuff like NGE, Devilman, LoGH; (series with interesting plots that just so happen to appeal a lot to certain fans who are really into m/m even though any rep for it from the material is either pandering or not postive) I like these stories and a lot of other people do, so theyre gonna be around. my main gripe is a large enough majority of the fans of said stories that i encounter are offputting by way of them hyperfocusing on the m/m aspect, however much of it there might be, especially when the fans buy and large aren't gay/bi men like me. the essence of wanting/liking m/m stuff isnt the whole story, its their attitude; a lot of them are really annoying and at times gross about how they go about enjoying the story (well more the chracters as they see them to be specific). if you want a modern example, just look at what happened to voltron; theres a reason I, a mecha fanatic, keep a dozen armslengths from that show and its fans. there're just too many gross, out-of-their-lane people for the experience to be enjoyable at all. ideally i could just ignore this kinda shit but its been so prevelant ever since i got into mecha/seinin stuff and im sick of it. ive had to witness it for years, years in which i was discovering myself, all the while having to watch people ogle and fetishize what i thought and then realized i was. and it wasnt fun doing that initially. if not for my sake, for the sake of younger gay boys who may follow my path and get into the same kinda stories, for them, try to be a little less gross.